#that shit is fun af for me lmao

[sapphire-weapon]

Hi, I just wanna share that I ship Ashley and Leon since the original RE, and I ship them even more now more than ever. I just wanted to say that I’m glad that I saw your blog. You defend them from hate comments. I could never do that. All I do is hide the fact that I ship them because people online (and IRL) can really be mean when I say that they have a good potential together.

I just think that their relationship can be wholesome and built on trust. It is without ill intention and born out of care & adoration. Which I think are the some of the foundations of having a healthy relationship, that’s why I love the idea of them together. I know this may be cliche to say this, but I think they can complete each other in some ways.

Is it wrong to want a potentially healthy relationship for Leon? I don’t get why people hate on the idea of it so much. I mean people can not ship it, and that’s fine. I just don’t get it when others start attacking because I mention that I ship them. It’s like I feel like I’m about to get executed whenever I say that they have a chemistry together 😆

Also, I apologize for talking so much about them. I just have no one to talk to when it comes to them. I just wanna share it to someone.

Lastly, I wanna say that you make deep analysis on not just their relationship and dynamics, but also on other lores on the RE franchise which I enjoy reading. It really gives a lot of new perspectives & insights on a lot of things that I don’t notice when I play the game. Thank you for this, really!

aw, anon

I also went through a period of very many years where I wouldn't say out loud that I shipped Leon and Ashley, because there was a stretch of a very long time in fandom where you got tarred and feathered if you dared have a Leon ship that wasn't Cleon or Aeon. Even shipping him with Chris was considered taboo back in the day (and, wouldn't you know, I do that, too).

And I was scared that people wouldn't take my (completely unrelated, mind you!!) meta seriously if they knew I shipped Leon/Ashley, so I just kept quiet about it. I even tried to pass it off, for a while, that I had no RE ships at all. It was just easier to say that than be dodgy about it.

It was actually kind of funny. For a while, a not-insignificant portion of the fandom went to me, specifically, for all of their Leon things, and I just had to kind of laugh at how ridiculous it was that these same people would've just stopped agreeing with anything I said about him -- things that they agreed with and had been relying on for their own interpretations -- if they'd known I shipped him with Ashley. It's all very, very stupid.

But now I'm in my 30s and I don't give a fucking shit anymore. I don't care about being an authority on canon anymore. I'm happy to be a reference if someone needs it, but I don't care about being the central hub of information. I don't need to try to make people feel impartially about me anymore.

But, authority or not, I'm still a story analyst at heart before anything else. I look at Leon's character first and then think about any possible ships second. And, yeah. After analyzing him for so long, I've noticed that Ashley brings out a side of him that isn't shown at any other point -- and it's in a positive way that's absent when she's gone. So, naturally and logically, in my head, it stands to reason that there's something to that.

Some people seem to be under the impression that Leon's character arc lives and dies by Ada's involvement, and boy is that just not the case. There's a lot of different moving parts when it comes to Leon's character arc, but he's primarily defined by the striking lack of agency he has, despite being one of the main characters of the series. Ada perpetuates and exacerbates that helplessness, but it would still exist without her. In Leon's own words: "nothing ever changes" and THAT is what's at the center of his character arc.

But even beyond that, Leon is a character who needs to be needed; it's something that's shown over and over and over and over again. So, as much as people like the idea of a "partners" type ship (like Chris/Jill) and so they ship him with Claire -- or as much as people like the whole cat-and-mouse will-they-won't-they thing that Leon has going on with Ada -- neither Claire nor Ada need Leon, so it would never really work in the long-term.

And as much as Leon doesn't want Ashley to need him... he still needs her to. Because he doesn't realize that Ashley can both need him emotionally because that's what romance is you fucking stupid idiot, Leon -- and also be her own independent person living her life to the fullest at the same time.

And you know what? I like queen/knight ships, and that's exactly what Leon and Ashley are. So I just embrace it.

This isn't to discount other people's tastes or ship preferences. Ship whatever the hell yall want. But Leon/Ashley has always existed, will always exist, and it's just as valid as any other ship. Thankfully, the remake seems to have made it more "acceptable" -- which really just tells me that the only reason why we Leon/Ashley folks were blacklisted for so long is because the vast majority of the fandom was just bad at RE4 and took out their impotent gamer rage on Ashley, as though it was her fault they sucked at the game. (If you got annoyed at Ashley screaming for help in OG -- or in remake, even -- it's because you let her get grabbed. It's player error.)

Just sayin.

#resident evil 4 #leon kennedy #ashley graham #meta analysis #the best part of getting older is not giving a fuck anymore #i'll make whatever fictional barbies kiss that i want to #and no one can tell me not to #idiots will be mocked and blocked on sight #ain't nobody got time for that shit man #and you know what ship i also have that's even more controversial than leon/ashley? #ada/wesker babey #i find their cat and mouse dynamic WAY more compelling because they feel more like they're on equal footing #there always felt like too much of a power imbalance for me to enjoy leon/ada #she was always so many steps ahead of him and it sucked the fun out of it for me #but ada and wesker? #i want to see those two doublecross and triplecross each other all day erryday #that shit is fun af for me lmao

[femmesandhoney]

functional lungs cant make up for a non functioning brain but one shouldn't expect that from a radblr blog haver anyway. so good for u queen

does your mom not give you enough attention or something

#lmao people really go looking for shit to be mad about for fun? couldn't be me #i actually enjoy my life and don't waste my time being weird af like that

[dissociative-degenerate]

I'm being stupidddddd

#my shit #im high af why am I doing this lmao #but its fun for me #which is mean

[the-hype-dragon]

thinking about plunging into rereading WoT, I think I made it about halfway before I gave up

#and that was the second attempt #idk I always thought it was one of those series where I'd have to be a guy to get it honestly #very bro fantasy tbqh #I still like some of the female characters like Nynaeve is great. love her. I liked Lanfear and Moiraine a lot too #otherwise RJ was just such a Man about everything it was kinda embarrassing #idk my litmus for good female characters is probably a little different tho lmao #like to me the best way to ruin your female characters is to have their lives revolve around a man with NO respite #I understand Rand IS the plot for a good chunk of the series but also. lmao #and then none of the female characters are able to do things simply because they want to do them #they have to be dedicated at all times to facilitating the success of a man #idk it rubbed me the wrong way I guess #“oh but everyone has to do that hype dragon” yeah but also the men get to engage in typical man fantasies on top of that lmao #and the women? they do shit because they have to. complete dedication to duty at all times #and if they have a little bit of fun they get smacked down both by the other characters and the narrative #maybe it changes as the series goes on but the first six books were just. constantly reminding me of this lol #I don't think it's wrong to have duty-bound female characters or female characters that are that dedicated to something #but it just stood out like a sore thumb when the other half is “guys get to do cool shit and look miserable about it” #whereas there was some weird dominance/control thing going on constantly with the women #and idk even my pickme former self would have taken issue with this sort of thing lmao #also yeah the gender essentialism is weird af #also one line about Elayne feeling like she had to compete with her mom for Thom's romantic affections stuck out to me #and has haunted me ever since I first heard it on the audiobook #like it buried itself into my mind and it's all I remember about these books sometimes #all that said there are things I liked about WoT but not enough to make me read the whole thing lmao

[waluigisgaybf]

THIS TOOK ME A HOT SEC, and I totally feel like I somehow cheated because theres 3 sets of siblings so there doesnt appear to be much variety 😳😳😳 heres the picrew!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH @numbaoneflaya for tagging meeeee- Literally the only person I can think of rn tag is @the-rxven-king????

Alphonse Overa | Avie Overa

Meiji Redgrave | Beatrice Redgrave

Nigel Maevrie | Reid Maevrie

Miris Tabris | Cassian Surana

(Rip cause Bea is only 10 but I couldnt make her look younger, and extra rip for me purposly giving Meiji fun anime hair so no option looked right)

#you dont have to do the same number as me #rip to me not doing any of my Lavellans #Also def got to cheat with Nigel and Reid cause theyre twins so I just didnt change their faces #putting my Tabris at the end feels so weird #I love her sm #I really wanna make more art of her hnnnnnnnnng #The first three sibling duo ones are my DnD characters lmao #F for Beatrice cause shes def gotted by bad magic cause their dad is evil af #cause we never had a resolution for that so Bea is def still just catonic and with their parents #we were gonna do a mini after story for Meiji going back home to save her and to kill his dad but that never happened #also its so fun seeing and even drawing older versions of Avie cause her og design was just for backstory stuff so she was a lil gal #and now shes a big ol adult #I miss doing things with my OCs lmao #I should re organize them all somewhere tbh #with all their little fun facts and shit too

[vizziefizzie]

We already know your opinion about preciousmetalshipping/homieshipping, but what are other ships you like.

(Also what's your opinion on NewReplacementshipping, it's my comfort ship)

hehhehe *rubs hands together* truth is: I don’t ship things very often (mind you, this is coming from an aroace that rarely finds enjoyment in romantic content... hell, I prefer relationships that look and feel more like a QPR or a found family). But, I do find enjoyment in the classics like originalshipping/namelessshipping (As long as people write it correctly... sometimes the fandom can be... yikes... and that goes for all ships- but I feel like it can affect this one and preciousmetal the most). 

But in terms of “OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE GUYS REGARDLESS IF ITS IN A ROMANTIC CONTEXT OR NOT!!” I really like scarfshipping... and I really love the stuff people make with the scarvio kids. Like, just seeing fluffy content in general just makes me so incredibly happy and I- UGHH I just love to see what people make. (Plus, I’m not the type of person to start or partake in a shipping war. I don’t have very strong opinions on anything (... except for the... you know... nasty shit that’s just... disgusting.. I shouldn’t have to elaborate... it’s in my dni)).

And as for newreplacementshipping, I can definitely see why people would like it! And I would too, but I personally hc that Lyra is aroace. And I love thinking of them having bestie moments and having fun little sleepovers where they can gossip about anything or pull silly pranks on Ethan (Which they do... a lot). I see them almost like sisters (Much like how I see Ethan and Lyra as sibs or Ethan and Kris as sibs. They’re all like siblings in my mind). But if I take away my hc for a moment, I can see a lot of empowerment between the two and honestly I think they’d thrive in a romantic relationship. I don’t get any toxic vibes!

#Thanks for the ask! #pls i feel so awkward when I talk about ships #esp when I realize just how rare and few they are for each thing ive hyperfocused on #but I do find a lot of things cute! even rarepairs! #only time i dont is when smth feels... toxic #it might be the dynamic or just one character that ruins something for me #fun fact: i used to think that the homies would be toxic af... and then BOOM i dug deep into silver's character and realized i was stupid #and masters just proved it even more #i love silver's development #ive actually wrote self-indulgent fics on their relationship #will i ever share? no clue #but just know that it was clearly written by a psychology nerd who likes learning about couples therapy (me) #i love picking apart relationships and pointing out how people can improve #hence... i see potential in every ship lmao help me #omfg stfu vizzie #AGAIN! THANKS FOR THE ASK!! I LOVE REFLECTING ON SHIT!!!

[xxjustavexx]

“Why are you so GROUCHY?”

“MAYBE because I haven’t slept in two days!”

Relatable lmao

#It’s fun when Jax is relatable #but the quotes are also kinda sad bc the babies were fighting :( #yet this pretty much explains me when I’m sleep deprived af lmao #cyberchase #a camping conundrum #random shit

[thesmokinpossum]

Me: I have so many things to do with this new job and finals at the corner, this is all sooooo stressful 😩

Also me: Of course I'll come to the costumed beer pong tournament tomorrow, how could I miss something like that!

#i could say that my priorities are all fucked up but honestly... #after years of mental illness and then years of quarantine and then being broke af in a new city where i knew nobody #i deserve to have some fucking fun #anyway all teams have a theme for tomorrow and me and my partners are gonna be medievalish #like king and queen of party city or something like that #i'm currently repainting the gem on a plastic crown with some nail polish because i didn't like them in pink #they actually do look much better in red tho :) #we have capes and crown and all that's gonna be so cool #can't promise shit for the actual beer pong tho but i mean...i think the point is to get drunk anyway so we'll probably win at that lmao

[kuiinncedes]

ive been getting too much coffee ;-;

#jeanne talks #bro our show was saturday and i fdjnldhgadhjgakj it wasnt perfect but it was so good :''''D i'm so happy abt it i just want to do it again #even tho it was stressful af #but i dont want to go back to doing schoolwork so 🤩🤩🤩 #show !!! again!!!!! can i just live in last week which was super stressful but i still was having fun doing the glowstick shit and #doing stuff w my friends and my amazing co marketing chair i love her <333 #good good vibes if i just think abt the show (for the most part ;-;) #and the afterpartyyy ppl being drunk and just being loud and affectionate and emotional it was rly funny and also rly nice TT #ppl were being so nice to me and they were all drunk and like crying but then i was like #yall r gonna make me cry and im not drinking LMAO #i hugged so many ppl too that was very nice i dont hug ppl enough ;-; #anyway :'') #cant just live in that bc now im back to hella school stress 😭😭😭😭 #also the fact that we have show + afterparty that goes super late and then losing an hour bc daylight savings too :DDD #was so fucking tired in my two classes today lmfao so yeah got a coffee as i said in the actual post lmfao #i want to just think abt the show ;-; but i have to think abt stats ;-; and coding ;-; #anyway anyway office hrs probably bout to start lolll

[daydreaming-in-daisies]

there's this really good restaurant that i went to a while back that had the best burgers i've ever had istg. i wanna go again but the only problem is that the last time i was there i flirted with the dude at the bar and gave him my number so i could get a free sundae lmao (he didn't know i was trying to get free desert). it worked and i've only texted him like one time since then and just never spoke to him again. it'd be awkward if i came back and potentially ran into him again but the food was SO GOOD so perhaps i should just take the risk. Their truffle fries and green chile burger were *chefs kiss*

#words #personal #thoughts #honestly i wasnt at all into him i just wanted free dessert lol #he was friendly and all but i was in a pretty shitty mental state back then with school and stuff #i still am but its not as bad #and i just didnt feel like hanging out with people #i also let him know that i don't wanna date people #and i thought about it afterwards and decided not to text him back after he sent me a message #im pretty it would've played out like this: #we hang out a few times and he tries to flirt and make moves that i dont want #i keep telling him im not much of a dater #and then he gets in his feelings about that after multiple attempts at trying to get at me #that shit is annoying af and ive been through that before #so i decided i wasnt gonna do that again lol #he was cool though and i had fun talking to him #i just wish it was a platonic thing on his end #but of course men arent like that so whatever #lmao #btw i tipped him well so dont come for me

[mrfoox]

Playing and talking with my boys will really just not get old. It's been 6 yrs but it's still a good time

#miranda talking shit #Only time i play overwatch is with them and we have all evolved and grown but thats still Our Game #We play from time to time and it feels so good safe and stable.... #Cant explain it but playing a game that long with some people you just ... Feel very at ease #Like not an 'i know they wont ever let me down' bc thats not the point but more of an... I know where you'll generally be and if i tell you #Something you'll listen? Very nice. Nothing more safe than roo playing soilder72 or mccree. And fabian on lucio #Granted our friend group have declined a lot we used to be 6+ people but still us three still playing and being friends after 6yrs it feels #Secure af... Old friends too i still feel good the rare times they come on and play its still that security feeling #Matt on hog Giulio on reinhart and Antonio on junk/zen thats just yeah (': #I guess we just mend well and even if we dont win all the time its still fun and yeah??? #Big bonus that we play characters that mend well with the others #I mean im the mercy main who can shift to soke others supports when needed anf whip oiy the winston if i must #Im being lame but yeah i really like it... All of us also have secondary characters which aren't the same but also work well with the other #Roo has zarya and ana plus sombra/tracer. Fabian plays a lot but genji/doomfist and ball. And i mean i got winston sym/torb/moira #We can generally adjust a lot to the rest of our team and fit in well and it feels good aw man #Im emotional over an video gam and my frirnds lmao #The boys #Miranda talking shit

[cryptidghostgirl]

so sorry for this (very) specific request hope it's not ocish

anyways alastor x wife reader who's a virologist / kinda a mad scientist??(girl just wants to start a apocalypse without anyone to bother her)

Like they got married for mutual benefits (whatever benefits he would gain and her having access to money for her wildest dreams) when they were humans (whether he actually loves her or not is up to you lmao)

They both die (I assume that she would die around when he died from her own negligence caused by her 'freedom' to do her work more often without actually worrying about him finding out) and she avoids him like the plague (not that hard to realize this so called radio demon is your 'husband' when you find his secret stash of 'local cuisine' in the fridge)

Then he goes missing and she finally kinda goes out of makeshift hiding, just chilling doing her evil deeds before finding about the Hazbin Hotel from some gossip

Deciding that, while redemption is most likely not gonna happen mostly for the fact she does not care, she joins Charlie's little program. For her own little project (just wants to have a angel test subject, gotta see if they can be a good carrier for her little virus)

The reader doesn't know that Alastor's back (you think she's gonna use vox tech? Or listen to the radio? Girl uses a non vox tech phone and maybe a computer and does her work) so she goes and knocks on the door to the hotel

Thinking that this shit is gonna be easy, after all her husband is gone so she won't be bothered by him. She can focus on her beautiful creations and maybe destory hell and heaven with a apocalypse for some laughs. While also getting access to heaven through Charlie somehow (maybe even Lucifer, girl doesn't know nor care)

Anyways you can just IMAGINE her surprise that right after Charlie greets her (Vaggie ofc suspicious af cause she knows damn well no sinner wants to be redeemed for the most part) then here comes the strawberry pimp coming to say hello

Would he recognize his lovely wife? Maybe

Ofc reader had a plan, and by plan I mean she just says they were married and now acts like their divorced (death do us part and we fuckin dead)

(Just for example, do what you want <3)

Anyways I'm sorry again (can you tell that I've been watching a lot of mlp infection aus :') )

A/N bestie,, i love an overly detailed request. no apologies. i hope i did it justice <3 <3 I have literally been obsessing over the whole 'we're dead. we've been parted.' reader idea. It's so fun. Also I am very sorry it took me so long to get to this. Also, I am not a woman nor am I in STEM (I'm an enby in history) so apologies if science stuff in this is bad. I'm basing the character off of Entrapta (my love) from Nate Stevenson's She-Ra remake.

Till Death Do Us Part (Alastor x Mad Scientist!Reader)

Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Warnings: Gore. Murder. Bodies. Animal cruelty (not detailed at all just like test subjects and burning ants as a kid). Viruses/plague talk. Just capital d Death all around in this one folks. Suicide and starvation briefly mentioned.

Word Count: 2,584

Master Lists:

Master Lists 

Hazbin Hotel Master List

Y/n hadn't been sad when Alastor died. It didn't really even register on her radar that he was gone until the police showed up at her door. Their marriage was more of an agreement than anything else, a division of labor. Y/n was a talented virologist who came from a rather wealthy family. He got access to her money, using it to start his own radio studio, and Y/n? Well Y/n got a clean up crew.

She had always been fascinated by death. It was a morbid curiosity that had followed her since childhood. The typical 'burning ants with a magnifying glass to mass murderer' pipeline only, murder was not exactly her objective. Since learning of the Black Death in school, she had been fascinated by biological warfare and weaponry. The stories of soldiers throwing infected bodies over the walls of city's to break down their defenses? It was magnificent, masterful, absolutely awe inspiring. Living through the Spanish Flu epidemic in 1918, watching how it tore through her city of New Orleans, only furthered her determination.

As soon as she had had the knowledge base to do so, she began working on bio-weapons on her own. She wanted to create a disease, to devastate the world. She wanted to watch the things around her crumble into ruin and know it was by her hand.

She'd found out about Alastor's hobby by accident. They were friends, of a sort, in that Y/n would show up randomly where ever he was and quiz him about radio waves. He worked at a radio station and she knew that. She had followed him, tracked him down. There was no reasoning behind it save he was the first person she'd really found out about that was involved in the business in New Orleans. She would pick his mind about getting the word out about things, marketing, advertising. She was prepping for the main event, for the day she finally created her magnum opus.

One day, when she had shown up unannounced at his door and broken in when he didn't respond to her knocking, Y/n had discovered him dismembering one of his victims. Alastor had stared at her, wide eyed in shock, fear and adrenaline mixing into an intoxicating combination in his veins. Y/n had just smiled.

She had been wondering about human experimentation for a while now. Animals were easy to cover up, easy to bury in the back yard but people? It had always been too risky, up until now anyways.

So it went like this: Y/n funded Alastor's dreams and he hid the side effects of hers. When he died, Y/n didn't really feel anything too strongly about it at all. Yes, it made life harder in that if she wanted to keep using human guinea pigs she'd have to figure out a way to dispose of them on her own but it also made it easier. Alastor had always been so obsessed with image, dragging her to office parties and forcing her to sit down to meals with him. Now that he was gone, she could work on her projects in peace once again. The body thing was something she would figure out along the way. She was smart and she wasn't going to let something like that stop her, not when she was this close to cracking it.

As it turns out, Alastor had been more of a help than Y/n believed. So used to his nattering and persistence, she had stopped eating. It wasn't long before she joined her husband in death. The papers of course had a field day with it. Heiress and Virologist Y/n L/n Withers Away Due to Heartbreak. Y/n L/n Starved Herself to Death and Joins her Murderer of a Husband. Virologist Commits Suicide After Revelation of Dead Husband's Criminal Deeds.

When Y/n had woken up in Hell, her whole world had been turned upside down. If there was life after death, what was the point of killing everyone on earth? She was back at square one.

Rumors were already buzzing through the streets of Hell about some new overlord, some Radio Demon, who had a strikingly similar MO to her husband. Not wanting any distractions this time around, Y/n secluded herself in the outskirts of the pride ring to reformulate her plans.

For decades she worked, trying to create a poison to wipe out the dual planes of the underworld. Work was easier here. No one questioned why she bought the things she bought, no one got upset when people went missing. Hell, no one even blinked twice if they saw her burying a body. It was a veritable paradise for Y/n.

Eventually, news reached her of the Radio Demon's disappearance. Y/n had never been the biggest fan of technology that wasn't involved in her work. In the world of the living, she had barley read the papers. All the machines in her laboratory were ones she had built herself through trial and error. But still, somehow, the news reached her and she felt elated. The last thing weighing her down, the last road block had officially been lifted.

Within seven years, she had perfected the disease. Having run tests on lower rings of Hell, she prided herself on her ability to make it so infections, so deadly. The survival was on par with that of unvaccinated human's infected by rabies. But her plan wasn't complete, no. Taking out everyone in Hell wasn't good enough, she had to figure out how to get it into Heaven as well.

That was when the perfect opportunity fell in her lap. Y/n nearly cried when she caught sight of the interview through the window of a shop selling Vox branded TVs. Charlie Morningstar, Lucifer's little brat, was creating a hotel for sinners, where they could be rehabilitated and sent to Heaven. It was perfect, almost too perfect. Y/n didn't question it, her own excitement blinding her. She barley even took the time to come up with a plan that consisted of more than get into the hotel and get her hands on an angel. She figured that was something that could be dealt with later on.

After a few days of research and snooping, she finally made her move. Having packed her bags and woven her way through the streets of Pentagram City, she found herself before the brightly lit marquee of the Hazbin Hotel. Placing her bag on the ground beside her, the test tubes and various paraphernalia inside clinked gently against one another. Raising her hand, she knocked on the door.

It was Charlie herself who answered, with wide eyes and an earnest smile. A smaller moth demon beside her crossed her arms, eyeing Y/n with doubt. It barley registered with the excitable demon, she was used to the strange looks. The new form Hell had granted her with when she died was odd, after all. She was still the same height, still held a roughly human shape, but her hair had become its own beast. It moved like secondary limbs, falling nearly to the floor from the pigtails she had tied it up into. It shot up into the air around her in joy at the sight of yet another open door in her path, this one literal rather than figurative.

"Hello!" Charlie exclaimed, "Are you here to check in?"

"Yes, check in." Y/n nodded, using her hair to pick her bag back up.

She took a step forward, trying to enter the hotel, but found her path blocked by the smaller grey demon. Her arms were uncrossed now, one of them pointing a spear right at Y/n's neck. Y/n didn't flinch, she simply looked down at it in curiosity, reaching a finger up to touch the end.

"Ow." she said flatly as the spear's tip pressed into the pad of her finger.

Raising it to her eyes, she rubbed the droplet of blood that had pooled on her pointer finger with her thumb before turning back to the spear.

"Is this..." Y/n leaned forward, grabbing the spear's shaft.

"Hey!" Vaggie yelled threateningly as Y/n crouched down, examining the weapon carefully.

"Oh my stars, this is an angelic blade, isn't it?" she exclaimed, her eyes still fixed on the spear.

"Uh..."

Vaggie was more confused now than anything and she took the slightest step away from the excited demon. Y/n followed her and soon, they were in the entry way to the hotel. Charlie watched the scene play out with mild amusement, finding her girlfriends bewildered state rather charming. She let the door fall shut.

"It is, isn't it?" Y/n asked again, "But how did you get it? Did you make it? What do you do with it? Is it more effective than normal weapons? Why a spear? I-"

"What's this, we have a new guest?" a crackling voice cut Y/n off.

"Uh, yes!" Charlie stepped in, turning to face the newcomer.

Y/n, still preoccupied with the spear, was now engaged in trying to get Vaggie to let her hold it.

"I think..." Charlie doubtfully added, her brow furrowing at the site.

"Well well well, a little devil." Alastor hummed, turning to watch the show as well, "Honestly, reminds me of someone I knew back when I was alive and kicking. Ah well, what's her name?"

"I don't... actually know that yet." Charlie admitted, fiddling with her hands a bit as she spoke, "But she seems really enthusiastic about being here!"

"It seems she more interested in that spear of Vaggie's than the idea of redemption." Alastor noted in response.

"Are either of you going to help me or are you just gonna sit and watch?" Vaggie exclaimed, trying her best to pry the spear out of Y/n's grip.

Alastor sighed and with a twirl of his microphone, a shadow arose, pulling Y/n off Vaggie. There was a split second where the smile on the girl's face fell. It quickly returned as she caught sight of what exactly had interrupted her escapades. Placing her bag on the floor with her hair, she wormed around in the shadow's arms, turning to face it. Tentatively, she poked it.

"Would you stop that?" Alastor asked, his voice thick with irritation.

Y/n poked the shadow again.

"What is this? How are you doing this?"

When no response came from the demon in question, she at last turned to face him.

"Oh."

She stilled in her movements and Alastor allowed the shadow to disappear.

"No reason to be scared." Charlie quickly stepped in, "I know Alastor here has a bit of a... reputation, but he is actually helping us at the hotel. He's really a great once you get to know him."

Alastor's smile widened as he bowed his head slightly in recognition of the praise.

"If you're going to be staying her-"

"You can't seriously be thinking of letting her stay here, Charlie." Vaggie cut in, "She's been here what, five minutes? And all thats come of it is chaos."

"Vaggie, come on, don't be like that." Charlie turned to her girlfriend, "Everyone deserves a second chance, that's the whole reason we built this place."

"But does she even want to be redeemed? I mean, what if she's... I don't know, trying to take us down from the inside out? What if she's a journalist or some shit trying to write us bad reviews?"

"You flatter me." Y/n smiled and Vaggie scoffed.

"See?"

"Isn't that all the more reason to let her in? Vaggie, if she is undercover as a journalist or something, we just have to prove to her how amazing what we're doing here is."

"I don't know... I've never seen her before, what if she's another one Vox sent?"

Y/n shook her head, sticking her tongue out slightly in disgust at this notion and Alastor chuckled. There really was something so familiar about this demon and her antics. Even if she was a tad irritating, it was a comfortable familiarity.

"Then we will figure it out, same way we did with Sir. Pentious. Okay?"

"Fine." Vaggie relented at last with a sigh.

Smiling brightly, Charlie turned back to Y/n.

"So, hi. I'm Charlie, welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! What's your name?"

Y/n's eyes flicked back and forth between Alastor and Charlie for a moment before settling on Charlie.

"Y/n L/n."

Alastor let out a little laugh of disbelief, a sound he had meant to keep in. He couldn't help it. Of course this little mess of a demon was his favorite crazy wife. Alastor had looked for Y/n on occasion, always keeping an eye on news involving anything scientific but, he had never found a trace. Not that he'd admit it but, in their time together, he had grown rather fond of the girl. Not love, never love, but a sort of familial feel. Everyone turned to face him.

"Are you alright, Alastor?" Charlie asked, walking over to him and placing a hand on his arm which he quickly brushed off.

"Yeah, do you know her or something?" Vaggie added, "Is she dangerous?"

"No..." he paused, his brow slightly furrowed, "She's my wife."

The room fell silent.

"You... you didn't recognize your own wife?" Vaggie asked in disbeleif.

"Ex-wife." Y/n corrected with a little sigh.

This was all becoming so tedious. She hadn't come here to sit and talk with people. While the spear and the shadow had been fun, they had both run their courses and she just wanted to get to work.

"I..." Alastor turned back to Y/n, "Ex-wife?"

Y/n shrugged.

"So you didn't recognize your wife and you didn't know you were divorced?" Vaggie asked, rubbing her temples, "Jesus fuck, man."

"I..." Alastor cleared his throat, "We were married when we were alive. I didn't even know she was dead yet."

"Yeah." Y/n shrugged, "Turns out all your nattering was what was keeping me alive. I forgot to eat, starved to death."

Alastor's eyes softened slightly for a moment at the notion. She had needed his care so badly that she had died with out it. It felt good, in a strange way. Satisfying. They darkened again as he recalled her earlier statement.

"Ex-wife?" he asked again, taking a step towards Y/n.

She looked up at him, her expression blank.

"Yeah?"

"When did we get a divorce!" Alastor exclaimed once he realized she would say nothing else on the matter without his prompting.

"Oh! We didn't." Y/n nodded, smiling slightly, "Now, can I go to my room?"

"No, Y/n. Why are you calling yourself my ex-wife? We are still married."

Y/n looked around at Charlie and Vaggie, seeing if they were going to back up her claim. Sighing, she turned back to Alastor.

"Do I really have to lay it out for you?" she paused and Alastor just stared at her, eyebrows raised, "Jesus. Uh, Al, we died."

"Yes...?"

"Till death do us part? That was the agreement."

"I... Well..." he was at a complete and total loss for how to respond.

She wasn't wrong, he just didn't like her answer very much.

"So... the agreement is done... yeah?"

"I mean," Alastor shook his head slightly, "I guess?"

"Great! Can someone please show me to my room now."

---

Next Part -> Till Death Do Us Part pt. 2

#x reader #alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #x reader one shot #x reader writer #x reader oneshot #request one shot #one shot #oneshot #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #alastor the radio demon #the radio demon #radio demon #mad scientist #virologist!reader #mad scientist!reader #husband!alastor #wife!reader #x you #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x reader smut #requested #request #requests

[fandomwritingbit]

Okay last one- for now

Michael x female reader hate smut-

Michael is a straight up bully to reader, they always argue and never get along, but one night readers car breaks down confidently in front of his home- doesnt help that its raining so she is getting soaked, she tries calling her roommate but because its night they dont pick up.

Michael comes out to see whats going on and he spot her, he rolls his eyes and makes her get inside instead of staying in the cold, grumbling that he will fix it in the morning and she can sleep in his room, he even lets her have some of his clothes- but he makes her sleep on the floor, she refuses to saying its cold and after a bit of arguing he grabs her and kisses her quiet, telling her he knows a way to keep her warm if she wants

Reader consents and the rest is up to you 👀

Okay, so I’ve never written for Michael before... but I had way too much fun with this. I wrote it kind of like a comedy with smut because I get perverse enjoyment out of bullying Michael lmao. Hope it’s to your liking!  

Warnings: smut nsfw, vaginal sex, creampie god I hate that word swearing, bad car knowledge, reader and Mike are both kinda arseholes, Will cameo, a joke about a dead parent, yes ik it sounds bad, but give it a chance cos that’s funny af irl.

Driving home from the shop, you double flick the windscreen wipers as the hammering rain only gets worse. You’re already wet from the 10 seconds you spent outside, your jeans clinging uncomfortably to your legs and dampening the seat underneath you. 

Mumbling a ‘for fuck’s sake’, you turn down another residential road, still over two miles from your house, the quick nip out for fags having taken up way too much of your night. 

Its then that the worst sound possible could be heard. Your engine packing in, squealing like a stuck pig in a fence, followed by a juddering thud as you’re mercifully able to steer it up the curb outside a house, before it completely dies on you. To be honest, you’d know that this shit-raft hadn’t had long left but really, tonight? Right now? So far from home? After you’d just spent a fucking fortune fuelling up? Bleeding typical. 

You get out of the car, no umbrella or jacket to speak of and are wet to the bone before you can even get to the bonnet and peer inside. Seeing smoke depressingly coming from some part of the vehicle you couldn’t name. 

“What the Hell are you doing here?” Someone behind you says, emphasising the ‘you’ with disgust. Of course you turn, ready to give someone the mouthful of profanity you were saving for this limp cock of a car. You recognise the tallish, messy haired lad immediately and curse in annoyance. Fucking great: it’s Michael Afton. 

You found him such a silly ponce. And he you, a nasty prick. Having known each other since college and now finding yourself studying at the same Uni, your animosity towards each other having grown and matured into a smouldering hatred that caused arguments anytime you were in a room together. Only yesterday morning you’d given him a mouthful for how he’d acted towards you in a Costas. And so, seeing him now, you almost laughed at how this night probably couldn’t get any worse. 

“You’re really here to give me shit now?” You sigh, trying to keep a level head as he probably had a better chance of fixing this car than you. “My car’s dead as a dodo.” 

“That...” He smiles at you meanly, enjoying the sight of you soaked through and looking damn right miserable. “...is a shame.” He turns to walk up a drive into a house you assumed was his, grinning at your anguish. 

Giving him the wanker gesture behind his back, you pull out your phone, registering the sound of a front door closing, whilst your shaky, wet hands tried to dial your roommate. Eventually you succeed, but it goes straight to voicemail, their phone clearly dead or off. Leaving you stranded as your parents were out of town and no one else was local, it being summer hols and you being home from Uni. You put your hand on your head, desperately trying to find a solution to your freezing cold predicament. 

From inside his house, Michael peeked through his curtains surprised to see you still stood outside in the rain. Surely, you’d have the common sense to get back in your car or something. But no. He watched you looking like a stray cat for a few minutes before his decency took over and he goes to the door to see if you’re alright. 

“You standing there all night, y/n?” 

You laugh sharply, tears of frustration threatening to spill. “Just fucking might.” 

“You wanna come in while you wait for someone?” He says, sighing at having to spend time in the same building as you, but still feeling a shred of pity. 

“I ain’t got anyone to come get me.” You say, hands rising to an irritated shrug.

“Still wanna come in for a bit?” 

And although you’d usually rather stick a spork in your eye than sit around with Michael Afton, it beat standing here, or sitting in your car. But only narrowly. 

He leads you through his front door, showing you a bathroom and after you heavily hint, giving you some dry clothes to wear whilst your own dried on a radiator. You thank him reluctantly, going inside said toilet to put on the joggers and hoodie he’d given you. Scowling to yourself in the mirror as you can smell him on the clothes. 

You come out after promising yourself to not let him wind you round the bend. Finding your way to a kitchen, where stood leant against a counter, after nicely, he’d boiled a kettle for you. 

He hadn’t expected the movement in his trousers at seeing you in his clothes, it felt intimate and kind of sexy. And for a moment he just saw you as a good-looking lass, not the witch that had been haunting him for 4 years. 

“Thanks for the clothes and the hot drink- I appreciate it.” 

“Yeah, you should. I was tempted not to invite you in.” You smile sarcastically at him, walking over to the rack of mugs you’d spotted on the counter, grabbing some kind of fancy-arse tea bag. 

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do. My parents are out of town.” You briefly explain to him, using the mug to warm you aching hands. To which he stood silently, watching your arse in his trousers as you did so. 

“If you promise to keep your mouth shut, you can stay here.” He offers unenthusiastically.

“Why would I want to do that, Mikey?” You laugh.

“Feel free to go back out-fucking-side.” He gestures with his hand in the rough direction of the door, a very familiar sneer on his face. 

And what else could you do? Sleep in your car outside in a neighbourhood you didn’t know that well? So you agree, not hiding the look of despair the prospect gave you. Which only doubled when he told you his dad would be coming home so you’d have to sleep in his room. On the floor. Like a dog. 

~

He threw a couple of pillows on his carpet, then a paper-thin blanket, looking at you with a stupid smug expression on his stupid smug stupid fucking face.

After about 10 minutes of shivering on his floor, your back already throbbing from the lack of mattress, you grow tired of hearing the shit tik toks he was watching. 

“I can’t sleep here, this is ridiculous.” You sit up, making him jump a little at the abruptness. “What did you just shit yourself for? Forget I’m here?” You say somewhat meanly, a snicker accompanying it, standing up and cracking your neck.

“Shut up. Where are you gonna go like?” His voice takes on a cutting mocking tone, “Get in here with me?” 

You walk over to him, face a picture of annoyance. “That what you want Mike? Me to get in fucking bed with you?” You laugh, bringing you head down to his level as he was sat. “To think, all this time I thought you were a cunt to me because you hated me. When really you just want to fuck me.” Shaking your head, you point a finger at him, “God that’s fucking pathe-” 

Your further insults are cut short when he grabs you and kisses you harshly on the mouth, the only thing he could think to do to get you to shut the fuck up for once. And you’ll admit, you respected the bollocks on him for it.

Maybe it was the frustration of the night’s events. Maybe it was built up hate between the two of you boiling over. Neither of you are sure. But you let him pull you on to his lap, kissing him back, tongues and hands quickly becoming involved.  

You feel the urge to call him names when you feel the hardness of his cock pressing against the inside of your thigh. But you stifle it, grabbing his hand to make him take his hoodie off your frame, not having to tell him to do the rest because he did so quickly. Rushing to unhook your bra and palm your tits, whilst you pull up his shirt, then down his trousers to gain access to his cock. 

There was no finesse to it, just hurried grabbing and heated biting of lips of necks. Both of you wanting to assert some level of dominance and fuck each other before it dawned on you that you hate one another. And so, it wasn’t long before he yanked you forward to pull his joggers down and your knickers aside, his thick cock spreading you open as sit atop him. It surprised you how good it felt to have him thrusting up into you, whilst your hips rolled fuelled by dislike and desperate to cum almost immediately. 

You did when he pushed you back, making you lay backwards before climbing on top of you and shoving himself back inside you. The new angle more than welcome, making you grunt as your orgasm neared. Hitting you hard as a freight train when his pace doubled to selfishly chase his own release, which due to the tight fluttering of your walls was closer than he realised. 

“Oh fuck.” He spat, pressing you flat into his bed as you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist eager for more of his hammering pace. “That's it. Shi- God you feel fucking good.” You had it in you to laugh then, his whiney voice cracking as he neared his end enough to make you smirk. Though it was wiped from your face when his thrust faltered and stuttered as he came inside you, seemingly unbothered about the consequences. 

Though in that moment you didn’t think about that either, too focused on the feeling of his release inside you. 

It wasn’t the last time you’d be experiencing that tonight. 

~

The morning quickly rolled around, and you slip out of Michael's bed to go and get something to drink, more than thirsty after last night. Bare feet pattering on wooden floorboards, you struggle to find his kitchen again as the house was unfamiliar. Eventually you get there and with your now dry clothes in hand you sit down with a much-needed glass of water. 

You weren’t sat long when you register the sound of footsteps descending stairs, a prickle of dread as you thought it might be Michael. 

"Who the fuck are you?" A gruff voice makes you turn your head towards the door of the kitchen, where a bloke you'd never seen before stood.

"Could ask the same for you." You raise an eyebrow at his curtness. "I'm Michael's... mate." You half-arse explain. The man leans on the doorframe a look of disbelief crossing his face, before he walked into the room smirking and started messing about with a coffee machine.

"What's funny about that?" You ask looking at him, there was resemblance between the two, but Mike would look 10 years younger stood next to his dad. 

"Nothing." He looks you up and down. "Credit to him: you're alright." He answers through a smirk aimed at you. You just laugh, turning your attention to your phone. Not noticing when Mike came to find you.

Glancing up at him you give a nod of acknowledgement before going back to your scrolling. Completely missing when his father gestures towards you with his head, mouthing the word 'respect' to his son, who looked mortified.

"Stop being a dick, pa." Michael snapped. You look up to see what was going on, catching Mr Afton looking away from you with a laugh. And give Michael a raised brow smile, whilst his dad leaves the room, not without another glance in your direction.

"What are you grinning at?" His tone reaks of irritation. Only growing when you point to the empty door saying,

"THAT explains so much." Through a teasing laugh.

"Fuck off."

"I'm trying to, but there isn't a bus for half an hour. And my car is fucked, remember?" He rolled his eyes, going to the coffee machine himself and mumbling when asking you if you wanted some. You did and told him as such.

"Ay, thanks." You say as he sets it down in front of you. Having the curtesy to sit with you while you wait, lest his dad hear his footsteps and sneak in like a fox in a chicken coup.

"You alright?" You ask him, unused to the sensation of being pleasant with each other and so rejecting it, poking him in the ribs.

"Can you be quiet for like 5 fucking seconds?" Each word is near hissed at you.

"What kind of scene would this be, if I was?" You roll your eyes as you take a sip of the coffee he made you. Laughing as you thought of another way to piss him off. "You're one to talk anyway, with all the ‘talking’ you did last night." He turns to your words, face a clear warning.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck. That's it. Like that. Shi- God you feel fucking good-" You mock moan, accompanying it with a lewd gesture that made him look over his shoulder to check his dad hadn’t returned.

"Shut the fuck up!" He rises, "like you didn't have a good time." He says through a face of disgust. You continue giggling, loving how easy it was to wind him up.

"Practically drooling over my cock, like a dirty bitch." You just laugh again; he couldn’t even touch your feelings with that shit.  

Letting silence fall over the two of you, you go back to your phone, giving him a smidge of respite. But he throws it back in your face after a mere two minutes.

"Will you stop tapping your foot, its driving me fucking nuts." And there's your green light to go at him again.

"You're a prick sometimes, Mike." You say, shaking your head. "But your dad- oh, no. He's really hot. Like scary, but scary sexy you get me?"

"Yeah... so's your mam." He snaps, his cheeks red. Instantly looking down when Mr Afton pops back in for something, unsure if you'll continue prodding and dreading if you did.

"Uhhh... my mam is dead, really funny there, mate." You say, your face falling still, and voice cracking on the last part. His whole demeanour changes, as does his father who stands like he's at attention in front of the squadron leader, both as tense as a spring.

"Oh shit, really? I'm sorry I-" He starts, panic flooding his face as he thought you were going to cry.

You laugh out of nowhere, "No. she isn't, Mike. But your fucking face." Mr Afton laughs from across the room, coming over to see the fallout that was about to occur, seeing the indignation on his son’s face and being unable to pity him.

"Ah you've got to bring this one back, Michael. She's fucking class." He says, grinning like a wolf. Mike scowls, despising you even more for ribbing on him with his own fucking dad.

"I should kick you the fuck out." He says exasperated, filled with dislike for you again. Sitting back down but not looking at you.

"Uh.” Mr Afton interjects. “You are not kicking my future daughter-in-law out of this house." You smirk, surprisingly feeling a tickle of guilt at being such a cock to him. 

But you have a feeling that you'll make it up to him later.

#fnaf #fnaf au #fnaf michael afton #michael afton smut #michael afton x reader #fnaf william afton #fnaf smut #fnaf 18+