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#that someone has told me its attractive
ankhisms · 8 months
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overthinking about a silly stupid poll which shouldnt actually be upsetting but well.
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todayisafridaynight · 8 months
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having my Art Specialty be described as 'daddies' is technically not wrong but also its very hard to not scream when being told so to my face in the dorm lobby regardless. like im just supposed to accept that description with a smile and nod as if i dont know we aren't thinking of the same kind of daddy
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slimeciclecock · 1 month
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Forgive me for the person I'll become when Missa releases all his new music <- delusional
#been on a missa kick lately which I've never really shared#been getting reeeeally into some of his music and lowkey getting a crush on him 😳🥰#and like. who cares if its been a month or smth. im still very obsessed with that stream he did where he showed off music he was working on#like his voice is insanely good and im going crazy like. to this day i still dont know if he plans to release all that or if that was just-#-scrapped music. with how excited he was when showing music i dont think its scrapped? but idk#dont wanna get my hopes up but. gah#also im just gonna come right out and say it. missa sinfonia is fucking hot as hell#he's so insanely hot and attractive and the music makes him hotter and he's so funny and grhgrgjfrh#ive been a little bit a lot obsessed lately. oh my god how are you so damn attractive#ive kinda told myself that if i ever get a partner the first thing i would do is show him missa and make them fall for him like i did#he's like. handsome like a guy from my culture. does that make sense#missa sinfonia has malay guy swag#i think i can say that here yeah. ive spoken my mother tongue language here#sorry im reaching he just reminds me of someone irl. but also. missa is hot asf i need someone to shake hands with me#frickin. schoolgirl crush on a funny mexican youtuber#ive watched more missa videos than i thought i would and its embarrassing how giddy i would get watching like#i am in my 20s but i am resting my chin on my hand like 🥰#brother I've fallen someone pull me back up i cant do this today
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copingwithcomics · 4 months
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gopissbepis · 11 months
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I think I might hate my boyfriend.....
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theantiproduct · 1 year
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dating is weird
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ghostlysoupcan · 1 year
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not going to lie im thinking that attractiveness is starting to become like a permanent idea in the trans community with how to be attractive is to be something to chase after or youre always attractive (even if you dont personally tend to think so or even want to be considered such) instead of your validity not being dictated on how attractive you are to other people
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imthatqueerkid · 1 year
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#crush blogging day 49#today has been all about grappling with my inability to motivate myself to do anything#and the guilt i feel for leaving my cherished dragon plushie at fire boys house#its so silly hell be like 'dragon told me this' and i have to hold myself back from announcing 'he would not fucking say that'#youve characterized my boy so incorrectly you dont even know#blorbo from my plushie collection :(( look how theyve massacred my boy#anyway at this point im trying to understand the rhyme and reason behind the desire i feel towards him#by that i mean trying to be kind to myself when i feel sexually ir sensually attracted to him#and starting to explore more of where the shame comes from#why do i feel ashamed that i want to be close to him? why do i feel dirty for wondering about whether sex is something I'd want with him?#also: why do i feel the need to over analyze my desire to kiss him?#its literally not a big deal to want to kiss someone youve been going on dates with#but nooo ive gotta ask#do i really want to kiss him or do i just think i want to? if i really want to kiss him why didn't i the other night when he wanted to too?#(answer: if i didn't want to kiss him id probably not be up at 11 pm fantasizing about it)#(and its perfectly ok for me to not act on desires when im feeling scared or nervous; those feelings can and do coexist)#ughhhhh as soon as hes gone i want him back#as soon as ive got him and hes looking at me the way he does its like i feel so safe yet so nervous and i cant do anything#except hold him#mmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh see now i wish he were here so i could actually kiss him#but when he was here and down to kiss i couldn't face my fear of intimacy! how annoying is that????? (very)#this will be remedied soon because im pretty certain next time we hang out we will kiss. we will.#silly silly Jasper#fire boy#from the couch#Spotify
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enkvyu · 9 months
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12:45am — gojo satoru ;
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“cute earrings, where’d you get them?” shoko asks.
“hm?” still clinging to sleep, you absentmindedly reach up to caress the metal dangling from your ear. the sharp indents of its gem pricks you back into a memory. “oh, these. i got them from a friend last week.”
“friend? or do you mean boyfriend?”
shoko’s words are throwaway, her wandering eyes and yawn a clear indication yet your face warms despite yourself. shaking your head furiously, you exclaim, “a friend! just a friend."
shoko hums, shifting her cigarette to the other end of her mouth. her gaze flickers somewhere behind you and you almost look too, when her words pull you back. “come to think of it, i don’t think you’ve ever told me what your type was.”
“my type?” your mind blanks. “i’ve probably never told you because i’ve never thought about it myself. i mean, being a jujutsu sorcerer and all, romance is kind of off the table.”
shoko keeps looking at you, pressing you without words. you grimace and sigh.
"i mean, i guess, maybe someone good looking? someone who’s not boring? and now that we're talking about it, someone who is fit and athletic too. they'd have to be smart, but not book-smart, like, street-smart." the more you think of it, the more words seem to spill from your mouth. "and someone who has a good sense of humour, someone who will make me laugh.”
“someone good looking, interesting, sporty, smart and funny? that’s too greedy.”
you giggle. “you’re right, there’s no way there’s anyone that perfect. i guess i’ll have to be single forever.”
“you'll always have me.” shoko says, grinning.
you push her shoulder but don’t deny it.
yaga walks into the classroom, cutting your conversation short. you spin around in your seat to face the front, eyes accidentally meeting gojo’s. he turns around too, and you reason that he was probably looking out the window behind you. you see getou snicker and whisper something in his ear, but gojo seemed to be having none of it, blatantly ignoring him.
seeing his face makes you think. didn’t gojo kind of match your type? someone attractive, interesting, athletic and maybe not academic smart, but he definitely carried an air of confidence when it came to fighting. and it wasn't a secret that he lightened the air wherever he went, intentionally or not.
with a start, you look back at shoko. “and someone calm. someone with manners.”
“well-mannered and calm. what insane preferences.” shoko chuckles. “are there any more?"
yaga slams his hand on the table a few times, reluctantly drawing your attention back to the front.
your previous conversation dies and twiddles away into the background, overtaken by droning lectures and predictable missions. by the end of the day, you can't even remember what you had told shoko early that morning.
when you enter the classroom the next day, you’re surprised to find gojo already there, seated at his table. his sunglasses hangs lower on his nose than usual and most curiously of all, a book is held in his hands. you’re not sure if he’s actually reading or not considering that pages were being turned far too quickly for someone reading “ordinary objects” by amie thomasson.
his eyes flicker to yours as you head in. “good morning.”
“morning. what’s with you?”
gojo clears his throat. “what ever do you mean?”
your frown transitions to a grimace. “why are you talking like that? did you break something of mine? was it my potted plant, gojo i told you to take good care of it!”
“i am taking care of it! it’s not dead yet!” he exclaims before pausing uncharacteristically. he sits back in his chair and turns back to his book. “i mean, it’s fine.”
“you sure?”
“i am.”
you narrow your eyes before looking away, dropping into your seat. “it better be. shoko got me that one.”
“speaking of shoko, is she not coming today?”
“i think she stayed overnight at the morgue.”
“is that so? perhaps i should write notes for her. i wouldn’t want her to miss out on class.”
you turn to him horrified. “so you did kill my plant!”
“i said it’s not dead!” gojo bursts. another pause. he clears his throat, adjusting his glasses. “i simply worry for her.”
you stare at him and watch as he fidgets under your gaze. “are you feeling sick? did you eat something wrong?”
“i’m not sick. what part of me looks sick?"
“well you’re usually not this…” you watch him as you wrack your brain, trying to find a word to describe this situation. “c…”
gojo leans forward. “yes?”
“crazy.”
he falls back in his chair, groaning, book forgotten and placed harshly down on the table.
you tilt your head. “where's getou, you guys didn’t come to class together? don’t tell me you fought.”
gojo peers up and frowns. “no, can i not show up to class early just because i feel like it?”
“it would be extremely out of character, yeah.” you rest your chin on your hand as you watch gojo mutter to himself, his jaw jutted out and his nose scrunched.
he was clearly unhappy, it didn’t take a scholar to know. it might take a genius to figure out why though.
you had time to kill, might as well take up the challenge. maybe he hadn’t had his morning dose of sugar yet, or maybe his favourite anime had delayed it’s upcoming episode. maybe he didn't save properly on the new game he was playing, or maybe he simply didn't sleep well last night. or maybe he had lied to you and he had fought with getou, leading to this strange attitude.
the more you thought about it, the more it made sense. the way he was acting now was like a mockery to getou's usual behaviour.
“are you trying to be like getou?” you try.
gojo whirs around to face you. “what?”
“well, you’re trying to be composed.” he keeps staring at you and you clear your throat. “like more well-mannered. more calm.”
gojo remains silent but you watch as his jaw drops. you think that he might say something but then his mouth closes, only to open again.
gojo speechless, what a sight. but as good of a sight as it was, you were beginning to feel concerned.
“are you sure you’re alright? what did you eat yesterday?”
he doesn’t register your question. “you think getou is well-mannered?”
“yeah?”
“and calm?”
you nod. “more than you, at least.”
“do you think he’s interesting too? sporty? smart? funny?” he pauses. “good-looking?”
the questions throw you off guard and you sit up. “what? where is this coming from?”
“oh my god, you do.”
“no? i mean, i think getou’s great and everything—”
“you think getou’s great?”
“don’t you?”
“you think getou’s hot.” he concludes. “and you think getou’s great.”
"what are you even saying?"
"i don't know. why don't you tell me?"
baffled, you flail for words. “are you jealous of him? that's strange, i didn’t think either of you would ever feel jealous of each other.”
gojo grits his teeth and looks away. with a pout, he says, “me neither.”
the door to the classroom is thrown open and getou steps through, rubbing the back of his neck. he yawns on his way to his chair and it wakes him up, looking between you and gojo as you both watch him enter.
“what did you guys do?” he asks with a sigh.
“nothing!”
“nothing.” gojo says and glares at him.
getou blinks.
“okay.” he says slowly, sliding out his chair and sitting. “what did i do then? why are you both looking at me like that?”
“gojo’s being weird.” you snitch. “are you guys fighting?”
“how should i know? i thought we were doing okay. gojo, if i did something, use your words and tell me.”
"i'll use my words to tell you to suck my dick instead."
"so i did do something. you're so predictable, gojo."
you snicker as gojo huffs and glances away, looking away out the window behind your head. his train of sight cuts right past you but you can’t help but feel slightly flustered as he looks on, almost like he was looking at you, so determined to ignore getou’s pestering.
subconsciously, you drown getou out too, your traitorous mind observing the blue in gojo’s eyes. you had always thought it was just one colour, but looking at it now, it seemed more like a kaleidoscope of blues, the many shades sparkling and dimming as he watched birds flutter outside the window, and you watched their shadows through his eyes.
something shifts, in the air or in the skies you don't know, and gojo meets your eye. startled, you hold the gaze and he holds it too, just long enough for your lungs to run out of air.
you look away hastily and inhale.
gojo glances to the front, oddly fidgety.
getou looks between the two of you. “what the fuck was that?”
“nothing.” gojo says.
getou clearly doesn't buy it but though he tries to get an answer out of you, you don't give him one either. cupping your cheeks, your thoughts mirror his question. what was that? it was embarrassing, that's what it was and your realisation is only heightened as a silence fills all four corners of the classroom.
gojo clears his throat. “for me, i like someone who i'm already comfortable with. someone i already know.”
at his words, you look over at him and find him already staring. he frowns as you don't give him any other reaction.
yaga saves you from addressing his statement, walking into the room as the bell for class rang. "oh? you're all early, even you gojo. where's shoko?"
“she’s staying at the morgue because of the recent mission.”
“i see.” yaga nods. “then let’s start.”
your mind fails to work as you turn over gojo’s words, thinking them through. what did they mean? what was he talking about? did this weird confession have something to do with why he was acting so strange?
slowly, you draw connections between your conversation with gojo and the talk you had with shoko yesterday morning. an epiphany shoots through you and you cover your mouth to hide a gasp.
did that mean…?
someone he knew? acting strange? getting mad when you said you liked getou?
you watch gojo’s side profile, hoping he’d turn around. if what you thought was right, he’d turn.
seconds tick past. yaga’s voice drawls on and yet gojo doesn't even spare you a glance.
no, maybe you were wrong after all.
just as you were about to face yaga again, gojo’s head shifts and his eye flicks over to yours. they widen when he finds you, and you’re sure you’re in a similar shocked state.
oh my god, you think, eyes darting between him and the other boy in the room.
gojo has a crush on getou.
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filler imagine based off of that One scene from the manga: "megane tokidoki yankee kun"
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mrfoox · 11 months
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I love Fabian
He did an autistic based test yesterday, and one of the questions were 'I can't understand if someone is flirting with me'
And I asked him, well? Do you know when someone is?
And he just went 'well the ultimate test, Miranda, have you flirted with me?'
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ofswordsandpens · 4 months
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actually I do want to talk about Sally Jackson a tad more because one criticism I've been hearing about her book counterpart more recently is "book Sally is one-dimensional: the perfect mother with no flaws" and that just has me biting my cheek because one part of her book counterpart that I always thought was ripe with discussion and didn't make it to the show is that Sally states that it was selfish of her to keep Percy close. It's one of the last things she says to him before she's "killed" by the minotaur.
And there's so much that we don't know about Sally because we view her from Percy's eyes. From his perspective we know that she's exceedingly kind, she never raises her voice to him or even Gabe, and she endured a horrible and abusive relationship to protect her son from monsters (of a different kind).
But there are things we can piece together from the text: Sally has known about CHB for a long time, apparently since before Percy was even born because Poseidon told her he wanted to send Percy there; she was told that it was a mistake for her to keep Percy close - who told her that, we're not sure, she only uses the phrase they; she's been in contact with Grover through out the school year; she knows that she can't cross the camp boundary line, which means either Grover or someone else (Chiron? Poseidon?) told her that, and that she understood that there was place that Percy would be safe from monsters.
And all of these little details are so interesting because it does make you wonder just how much she did or didn't know. Was her self assessment right? Was it selfish of her to keep Percy close?
On one hand, she kept him close because she loved him, alongside the fear that if she sent him to camp, she would be saying goodbye for good -- so is it even fair to call the act of keeping him close selfish? Or perhaps, much like Chiron, she assumed keeping Percy in the dark would be safer?
But on the other hand, Percy had been attracting monsters all his childhood, she understood camp was a safe place from monsters, and she had apparently been told explicitly that it was a mistake for her to keep him close.
And then adding in the factors of: Percy is her only family in the entire world, she's been suffering with Gabe for years, sacrificing so much in order to keep Percy safe when he's at home... but even that has a touch of sad irony because when we meet Percy in tlt, its at point when he's not really home at all -- he's been regularly sent off to boarding schools, so much so that he's internalized it as his own short-coming.
And all of this isn't to say "Omg Sally is actually horrible" or to assert definitely that she is selfish... but more to speak to the fact that in the books, she's not an all-perfect 2-dimensional mother. And her self-assessment of selfishness is something that is really interesting to explore and debate given the implications of what she apparently did (or did not) know about the godly world. I feel there's even an argument to be made that Sally being "selfish" could be a reflection of Percy's fatal flaw.
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montheline · 4 months
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❦Short Astro Observations❦
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☁️ Aries placements always look AMAZING with short hair cuts like ughhh work you bad ass bitch😍🥹
☁️ I notice that a lot of people I know that are only child’s have a Scorpio sun ☀️
☁️ Having Pluto aspecting the MC or Ascendant of a composite chart can mean having random people obsessing/having jealousy over your relationship (ex. ariana grande and mac miller, winona ryder and johnny depp, kim and kanye...etc lol)
☁️If you have an Aries sun in your composite chart with someone, more than likely they’ll probably feel like your soulmate/first love or you were just already profoundly attracted to them at first sight
☁️ Having 6th house/10th house synastry with someone means there’s a 9.9 times out of 10 chance of you meeting them at work or school
☁️ I’ve noticed that men who have a lot of admiration and respect for women tend to have Capricorn, Cancer and/or Libra placements
☁️ If you have a stellium in the 8th house of your solar return chart be ready for a deeply transformative year (deadass....like i'm so ready for 2023 to be over alreaddddyyyyyyy #yesthisisacryforhelplol
☁️ I noticed people saying oh if you have cancer placements that means that you’re gonna have big boobs, which is definitely not true lol but what I have found to be true is that a lot of times people with cancer placements tend to be of shorter stature (they real petite lol, men tend to be short-average height)
☁️ Having Venus or Lilith in your 12th house can make you have pretty feet
☁️ If you have your moon in someone’s 5th house it’s very likely for them to become your favorite person😍
☁️ Having 9th house synastry with someone can be very transformative and growing. However, this also could also mean outgrowing someone with this synastry, doesn’t mean you won’t be together again it’s just so heavily based on growth and if you guys can’t see eye to eye with this synastry sooner or later you’ll have to let it go
☁️ I feel Edge & Lita we’re a great example of 8th house synastry. There relationship had a lot of “8th house” dynamics (Lita cheated on her boyfriend Matt at the time with Edge, overtly sexual couple, has a “forbidden” vibe, as a couple on t.v. and in real life they received a lot of backlash but it was something so compelling and magnetic about them being together that you couldn’t ever really look away from)
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☁️You can always tell when a person has Scorpio placements, it’s in the eyes 👁️👁️. Their eyes always pull you in by the smokiness. Like for example: Anne Hathaway (I guessed she had Scorpio placements in her chart while I was watching my comfort film “Devil Wears Prada” lol..but yeah you CAN TELL BRUH it’s the magnetic pull and the “smokiness effect” of her eyes
☁��� Having a lot of 3rd House or 9th house placements can indicate becoming a teacher/professor or something that deals with teachings and education 👩🏾‍🏫
☁️When gemini placements try to listen to other people talk they have the most hilarious resting face i've ever seen, it's like they look uncomfortable/confused/interested/dissociating all at the same time trying to listen, lmaooo its hard to explain
☁️My favorite teacher is a red head and I remember reading something on tumblr saying "aries placements" can give you red hair or something like that and I told her "i swear if you have aries placements imma freak out" and guess what..she has a aries mars, idk i just felt like sharing this with yall lmaoo
☁️ Finding out that Ed Sheeran has a Pisces venus makes so much sense to me. He made songs like “Perfect” , “Thinking Out Loud”, “Photograph”, etc for crying out loud. Like this man’s a hopeless romantic fr lol (makes the best wedding music too lol)
☁️ Scorpio placements (especially scorpio mars) HATE LIARS.
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inkskinned · 6 months
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no, but really, we need to talk about the casual objectification that has become the fallback discourse of the internet: if you're pretty and dressed nicely, you're a slut. and if you're even vaguely outside of their body standard, you're fucking disgusting.
too-frequently, people position sex workers as being "the problem". they sneer you're addicted to pornography, you don't know what a real woman looks like. but real women are in pornography. the real bodies on display are not the issue here: the issue is that other people feel extremely confident when commenting on someone's physique.
2000's super-thin is slowly worming its way back into the public ideal. recently i saw someone get told to "go for a run", despite the fact she was on the thinner side of average. not that it would ever be appropriate to say that: but it's kind of like sticker shock when you see it. people think that is fat? holy shit. do they just have no idea about things?
but what are you going to do about it? that's the problem, right. because chances are - you're a normal person. we can say normalize carrying fat on your body, but we are not the billion-dollar diet industry. we are not the billion-dollar fashion industry. we are just, like. people. who are trying to make content on the internet, without being treated shittily.
as someone who has been on both sides of things: you are treated better when you are thin and pretty. this is statistically correct. i am not saying that you cannot be bullied for being thin; i'm saying there are objective institutional biases against certain bodytypes. there are videos of men and women who lost weight all saying: i now know for a fact exactly how much worse you're treated. in the comments, some asshole inevitably says something akin to you deserved to be dehumanized when you were fat.
which means that ... the easiest thing to do is be pretty and thin. it is the path of least resistance, because of course it is, because any time you post a picture of yourself without a thigh gap, someone immediately comments something like you need to try a diet.
the other half is also dehumanizing though, huh, just in a different way. when i put on makeup and nice clothes, i am told i slept my way to the top as a professional. do you know how many women in STEM have told me they purposefully dress to "unimpress" because they already struggle to be taken seriously and if they're ever considered pretty - it for some reason takes away from their authority.
so they make it seem like it's your fault. you, existing in a body - it's your fault! if you didn't want shitty comments, don't have a body. they position us against each other like chess pieces; vying for male attention we don't even need.
and i can be an authority on this unless you think i'm fat and unattractive. when i am pretty and thin, i'm an activist. when i am just a normal person who makes a good point: i am immediately dismissed. nobody fucking believes you if you're not seen as attractive. you literally lose value. you cease to exist.
but the whole time, it feels like - is anyone actually grounded the fuck in reality? the line of "pretty and thin" keeps shifting. nobody seems to understand what "a normal weight" even looks like, because it's not something that exists - you cannot tell a person's health by looking at their body. even if you think you could tell that, even if you're sure a person is dangerously overweight - people are not your dolls. they do not need to be dressed up or displayed properly to soothe your aesthetics. you aren't concerned for them, you're stealing their agency. you don't get to say if they're "allowed" to take pictures and post them on the internet - you don't get to tell them how to exist.
people hide behind "the obesity epidemic" without any actual qualifications. they crow things about "normalizing unhealthiness".
but it's bullshit. i have visible abs. there is a pair of parallel lines on my body, even when i'm relaxed; where my obliques meet my abdominal wall. i am proud of this because it means i'm strong, because i overcame an eating disorder only to be ripped as fuck. it is genetic and physical luck that i even get any definition, i'm pleased as punch.
but it does mean that my abdominal wall sticks out a little bit. the other day i posted a video of myself dancing, and, for a moment, my shirt slipped. you could see a little bit of my stomach. i was cartwheeling to the floor. moments before this, i'd had my foot over my head.
a guy slid into my DMs. a row of vomiting emojis prefaced: you should really lose some weight before you think about dancing.
i stared at it for a long time. there was a time when i would have been triggered by this, where it would have encouraged me to starve myself. i would have ignored the fact i'm flexible, agile, good at jumping: i would have lost the weight for a stranger's passing comment. i would have found myself and my body fucking disgusting.
and for what? to please what? because why? so that he can exist in this world without an unchallenged eyeball? what would my self-hatred even accomplish? usually i write paragraphs. obviously. on this particular occasion, in this body i've been at war with for ages: i just felt exhausted.
it shouldn't be even worth saying. it shouldn't be hard to explain. all of this emotional turmoil when he cannot even comprehend the most basic truth: i am not an object on display for him.
#spilled ink#writeblr#warm up#like if im getting fatshamed. babe......... wake up#is there fat on my body? yes :)#btw this behavior wouldn't be okay even if I WAS overweight!!! that is my point!!!#it is both that people have no idea what weight is supposed to look like#and even if they DID... they do not seem to understand that PEOPLE ARE NOT DOLLS#YOU DO NOT GET TO TELL THEM HOW TO EXIST#if you respond anything akin to ''but raquel there IS an obesity epidemic''#you're blocked and reported.#go fucking DONATE TO A FOOD BANK THEN. volunteer in a food desert. start a free fitness program#GO GET A DEGREE AS A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL AND PRACTICE IN NUTRITION IN UNDERPRIVILEDGED LOCATIONS#FIGURE OUT HOW TO LOWER FOOD COSTS. FIGURE OUT HOW TO NORMALIZE AND STANDARDIZE#ACCESS TO FARM-FRESH FOOD. PROVIDE ACTUAL FREE ACCESS TO OUTSIDE ACTIVITIES#FIGURE OUT HOW TO TEACH PEOPLE HEALTHY CHOICE MAKING WHILE ALSO LOWERING THE COST OF MEALS.#THE AVERAGE GROCERY BILL OF THE AMERICAN CITIZEN HAS QUADRUPILED IN THE LAST YEAR.#SHUT. THE FUCK. UP!!!!!!!!!#you don't want to help these people!!!!!#you want to bully them but still feel like a good person!#you want to be justified in your hatred of an entire CLASS of people!!!#you don't give a fuck about how it makes them feel!!!!#you care ONLY about whether or not YOU get to VIRTUE SIGNAL that YOURE so thin and pretty!!!!#it is BECAUSE of people like you#and the fact you tolerate fatphobia - BECAUSE of that normalization. that men like the one who called me fat#feel like they can get away with it.#bc there's a line for you where you WOULD be okay with it. where if i WASNT thin you'd be okay with it.#which means the line can always be pushed in a certain direction. and it's always going to appeal to male aesthetics.#''well you didn't deserve it'' maybe fucking NOBODY does babe. maybe we should just all agree not to comment on ppls bodies!!
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diegoshargrieves · 2 years
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well, i just inexplicitly came out to my mom as asexual without actually telling her i was asexual. it went better than i hoped because she didn't tell me it was all in my head but she did basically say that i was young now, but when i met the right person then my feelings would change. im not quite sure how to feel about this.
#i told her that i never felt that attraction and that i never have and honestly thought i never would#and that that was a big part of why i always told her she never needed to worry about me breaking norm and casually dating/sleeping around#and she did say that she never saw that urge in me and that ive never had that for as long as she could tell#that she was someone who had hidden having (halal) boyfriends and (halal) dating from her parents but never saw that from me#i felt validated by that because i did feel like she almost got it#but she thinks that the way im expressing it has to do with psychology. it doesnt. its about attraction but i dont think she gets that#she told me no one wants to be with a celibate in marriage which i wasn't a big fan of to be honest#im not sex repulsed so shes probably right that i wouldnt be celibate or whatever. or that i wouldn't 'abstain' forever#but i really wish i could get her to understand that its not abt whether or not i choose to have sex one day#its about the fact that ive never had the urge or the attraction. and she thinks itll change with the right person or with age.#the lack of attraction wont change. my decisions or my choices might but the asexuality is in stone. there's no changing it. ever.#anyways i wound up telling her this because ✨trauma conversations✨ and also we dredged up my sa trauma from years ago lmao#does being asexual and and having been sa'd make me a negative stereotype. honestly i dont know & i could give a lesser fuck at this point#ANYWAYS.#that happened! on a scale of one to ten im a high five abt the way this turned out. it could have been worse but also couldve been better#i need a personal tag this is bullshit#i need a vent tag this is bullshit#<- tagging as both because i dont know what the fuck this is at this point
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libraford · 2 months
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Can you teach me about compost bc I am too afraid to start and its making me feel really dumb and small
I'm gonna be real honest.
I'm doing it stupid.
I've been doing it for four years stupid and so far the results have been fantastic. I have so much nice dirt now!
I decent compost bin is just a box with no bottom that sits on top of your lawn. You want it to not have a bottom because you want to attract worms and isopods because they help with the decomposition by eating stuff. If your box has a bottom, worms can't get to it. Get a bottomless box.
Here's my bottomless box
Throw stuff in it.
The kind of stuff you throw in the bottomless box depends on your lifestyle. I drink a lot of coffee, we eat a lot of eggs, and last August I spent three days straight cutting the yard because the grass got too tall and someone called the cops on us so there was a huge pile of grass clippings in the middle of the yard.
So my compost is mostly coffee grounds, eggshells, and grass clippings. If my vegetables go bad in the fridge, they go in the compost. When the garden is done for the season I cut it all down and it goes in the compost.
I'm told you're not supposed to put processed things like bread or sugar in the compost. Also meat. You're not supposed to put meat in the compost.
And then every six months or so, you open up the compost box and see what kinds of dirt you got there and give it a good stir. If the dirt is looking good, you can use it in your garden. If there's still a lot of stuff thats not broken down yet, let it sit a month longer or so and see what's happening.
There's a possibility that I'm doing it wrong, but my raised beds are looking amazing and last year I got SO MANY BEANS
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bingoboingobongo · 2 years
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very curious to know how much our perception of beauty, specifically what we think men think is beautiful, is skewed by what women think men like
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