#that’s making me so depressed and miserable.

[artist-issues]

I saw the steven universe post of yours and I am wondering about something.

Are you actually, honestly happy?

You seem very sure that happiness can only come from perfectly following your religion's teaching about what your god wants people to do. If that truly makes you happy every day I don't think anyone can convince you that it doesn't hold true for everyone else.

I’m joyful. Happiness is fleeting. It’s a good thing but it’s dependent on your circumstances. Joy isn’t. Joy is a posture of the heart that comes from knowing who I am and where I’m going, in Jesus Christ.

Joy doesn’t come from “perfectly following my religion’s teaching about what my god wants people to do.” It’s really important that you understand that.

It just comes from having a relationship with the One who made me and saved me. I fail to follow the Bible’s (not “my religion’s,” because when you say “your religion” you’re implying one man-made set of rules out of many I could’ve chosen from, and that’s not what the Bible is) teaching all the time. I fail to do what He wants every single day.

If I were just focused on following rules and making sure everyone else toes the line, too, I’d be miserable. There are worldviews like that. But the Biblical worldview isn’t one of them.

Ephesians says “It is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” Not by works. I can’t measure up or follow all the rules or obey God perfectly; nobody can—except Jesus! That’s the point. When God looks at me and loves me, He does it because of what Jesus did for me on the cross. So anything I do that falls short? It’s covered. And I’m loved perfectly; God never loves me less, or bases His affection toward me on how good or bad I do day-to-day.

And in the meantime, He changes what I want, but by bit, so that I get back to who I was always meant to be; His creation, made for love. I love Him, and His people, more and more every day. I stop thinking so much about me. There’s all this freedom, because I don’t have to do any of it alone. And, I’m forgiven, and loved, and adopted, and no circumstance or person in the world can take that from me, ever.

That’s where joy comes from. Real joy, that is not dependent on anything that changes. Sometimes I still get unhappy. Sometimes I get trapped in a cycle of overthinking and anxiety and even depression—but it has not lasted, and it never can. Because the moment I reach out for help, He’s there, reminding me of who I am in Him, lifting my eyes up off of my circumstances or out of my dark thoughts, by helping me focus on Him.

A lot of people find this kind of “higher than my circumstances” emotion in “something bigger than themselves.” The difference is, mine is eternal, and it lasts, and it never gets corrupted. I’m talking about the God of the Bible and a relationship with Him, not the religious imperfect humans of religion. Human movements get corrupted, religious or secular. Human nations fall. Human families or lovers change and die. All those “something bigger than myself” sources for happiness eventually go away. Not a relationship with God.

So hopefully I’ve answered the spirit of your question. It might help you to know that in my reblogs to that post, I’ve mentioned that God let’s you choose. You can either choose to be His, and be what He made you to be, or you can insist that something else will make you happy and keep chasing that. He lets you do that. But in the end, nothing else except Him lasts. And by end, I mean, “THE end.” Life goes on past this. And if you end this life choosing to chase temporary things for happiness in sources outside of the God that invented Good and Happy, you’ll spend eternity outside of Good and Happy, because you chose to spend it without their Source.

So when I made that post, I made it because I believe that Rebecca Sugar made Steven Universe and infused what she thinks the God of the Bible is like into the character of White Diamond. But she has Him all wrong. I know Him, and He’s not like that, but I can see how someone who doesn’t know Him would come to those conclusions.

So it’s like if someone who barely knew your best friend made a vital skit on Instagram about your best friend…and it was all wrong. They slandered your best friend—and what’s worse, they did it because they never really understood your best friend, and don’t have a relationship with your best friend, and you know that if they did they not only wouldn’t have made the skit, but they would get the blessing of having a friend like your bestie.

I hope some of this has answered your question. Thank you for taking the time to send it, and maybe to read this long response.

#Feels like it comes from a genuine place #asked #answered #my Steven universe post #christianity #joy #my one comfort both in life and death

[la-pheacienne]

Hello. 2, 5, and 24 for Daenerys and Jon??

Really enjoy your blog!

Hii, thank you so much!

JON:

2. Favorite canon thing about this character? The duty vs love theme. It is so central for Jon's arc and for asoiaf themes and his character conveys it beautifully. He's a kid, he wants to live he loves his family he wants to be there for them and at the same time he's stuck in that place and he has an oath he must respect and this is very important to him because he is honorable and takes his words and his vows seriously but it is very difficult to navigate between the two. also how he questions his vows and how he understands the contradictions of the westerosi moral code and the inherent hypocrisy of some vows in the way they are applied, see the "what are these wildlings if not men" dialog, I love this and it is also extremely important thematically for the entire book series (great parallels with jaime here). his struggle with ruling, "there is no happy choice, only some less grievous than others" but someone has to make those choices and this is an enormous burden he takes on. Also his gravitas and how his past seems to burden and haunt him!! he's a kid and he's much older than he should be, mentally, because of his shitty upbringing and also because of a sense of transcendental doom that comes from his parents even if he doesn't know anything about them yet. I'm normal about jon btw.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them? Oh sth from the Cure, like Cold or Homesick or anything from that band really. Emo depressed teenage boy core.

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them? Marius Pontmercy from les miserables. He is in canon described as "not yet a ghost, no longer a man". He is an orphan kid raised by family members who have lied to him about his father his entire life. He grew up having a distorted image of said father, he has an identity crisis towards the middle of the book, he is melancholic and lonely and angry and isolated and struggles between his desire to live and love like a normal young man and his devotion to the cause.

DANY:

2. Favorite canon thing about this character? Oh Dany is hope. Dany is losing her child and her husband and everything that she holds dear and she is desperate but she looks inside Rhaegar's helmet and the face within was her own. Her own!!! A kid, that has known nothing but abuse ever since she has memories of herself manages to believe in herself at her lowest point. Dany didn't know a mother or a father and yet becomes the mother to them all, she never felt safe but all she wants is to keep other people safe. Dany struggling to rule, Dany asking questions about what makes a good ruler, what is a good ruler, how can one become a good ruler. And failing. And trying again. And failing again. But she just keeps trying because her name and the three dragons she has are not a flex and they do not equal power, but responsibility. She has this enormous gigantic responsibility on her shoulders and she has to find a way even if it's not the best one, and this is both a blessing and a curse, just like Jon. Dany trying to get her home back. And she will, "we shall talk when I return" is about her! Dany is hope.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them? Gold Dust Woman by fleetwood mac, I won't elaborate, grrm imagined Dany after listening to that song, he told me himself and this is confimed btw. Look it up.

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them? To me personally Dany reminds me of Enjolras from les Miserables and what they both have in common is their radicalism. Dany is a true revolutionary, an abolishionist, she rejects the status quo, she has a noble cause and she knows that she has to serve that cause no matter the price and she is ready to take the necessary, radical steps towards that cause and she is ready to sacrifice herself and commit violence for that cause because this is the only way any substantial structural radical change can ever be achieved. Yet she does not rejoice in violence, she does not love it and she struggles with it, just like Enjolras who executes that man and says "Death, I use you, but I hate you". He is innocent and pure and so young but also terrible and fearful when he needs to be despite not wanting to, because someone has to be, because this is not a game. I love them both so much.

#jon snow #daenerys targaryen #ask game #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #marius pontmercy #enjolras #les miserables #im the queen of self indulgent parallels!! #aspa rambles

[bucky-barnes-diaries]

Some venting in the tags because sometimes it’s easier to vent into the void than talk to my therapist 🙂 Although I should probably make an appointment and bring this up with her. Don’t mind me being depressed for a minute 😂 Carry on with your whoring and other shenanigans

#I’m so deeply depressed that it’s not even funny anymore 🙂 #Even with all the help I’m getting with therapy and how wonderful my parents are in letting me know that they’re here for me and will help #me no matter what I’m still so fucking depressed and bordering falling into a deep dark fucking hole 🙂 #And I feel so guilty because with all this help and love? I surely shouldn’t be feeling like this? #It just fucking sucks and I literally just want to disappear into a fucking cabin in the woods away from all the bullshit #that’s making me so depressed and miserable. #This is kind of dark but I don’t want to live but at the same time I don’t want to die(?) #Idk I find pleasure and joy sometimes in the small things but at the same time I just don’t feel any real joy or light deep inside me. #It kind of feels fake? Forced maybe? This joy I sometimes get. Because I think I just feel empty mostly. #Like there is no real life in me or something. I always think I’m overreacting or being dramatic but this is literally how I feel. #I’ve been trying to suppress this for so long and act like everything fine but I don’t have the strength for that anymore tbh. #So idk? Am I actually depressed or just overreacting? I should probably be asking my therapist this and not the Tumblr void 😂 #and I’m sending a little hug and strength out into the dark void of anyone needs it 🫂

[lipt-97]

came back just to post these. okay bye

#gbf #belifaa #did you get triple zero (summon)? the sanfaa scissoring summon? SSS? i sierotixed it. It was awesome. Everythung in gbf is going right for #e except for the fact that i had to sieroticket it but its alright. just the notion of so much lucilius is just enough to put me back on my #feet again it’s almsot unreal how much lucilius-centric stuff theyve pushed out the past few months. his GBVSR debut. his summon. #Omg when I saw the gbfes fashion show i was a few seconds behind zen and she told me “You wont believe this” and I was like “WHAT? BELIEVE #WHAT? WHAT? WHAYT DO YOU MEAN” and the official lucilius cosplayer walked out in his robes it felt unreal unreal like it was seeing my onl #dreams come true after years and years of being like Theres no way they’d do that. There’s no way they’d make a cosplay for lucilius in his #robes because hes in his void outfit forever. BUT THEY DID…..AND THERE WAS BLOOD UNDER HIS SKIN….AND HIS LIPS WERE GLOSSED…AND HE HAD A LIT #LE BIT OF TAREME AND TSURIME (TARIME) ACTION ON HIS EYES AND EVERYTIME HE WALKED HIS ROBES KIND OF FLUTTERED AS HE SHUFFLED ALONG I HAD TO #SIT ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR lay down on the bathroom floor and I almpst puked from how nauseous it made me i was OVERJOYED BEYOND MY PHYSICAL #LIMITATIONS OF HAPPINESS . I WAS SO HAPPY. THIS YEAR HAS BEEN UTTERLY MISERABLE FOR ME AND I HAVE NOT BEEN THIS DEPRESSED SINCE HIGH SCHOOL #BUT SEEING LUCILIUS like this genuinely blew me off my socks . I don’t know if i should be 100% thankful because I’ve been trying to figure #out how to balance my emotional state with the media i consume but #I think i really needed it. thank you lucilius for ending my 2023

[nthflower]

Cuno should join Hardie boys in the future not RCM btw my unpopular hot take opinion thingie.

#disco Elysium #geym #harry and cuno art is cutee #but there is nothing happy in joining rcm i cant see anything but depression in cunos future if he becomes a detective #soo he should join Hardie boys they have their own problems but its actually very much better #like whole game it is already so fucked up playing as harry and seeing how being a cop is so miserable #and even with kim the good cop who trust the system so badly is miserable because he is a cop #and now you want me to believe cuno would be happy if he joins the rcm #plus Cunoesse i dont want her to be alone and her bestie being a pig #i really dont like rcm every time i interact with them with radio or in whirling its dreadful #martinese can be not so healthy environment but compared to rcm its just more hopeful and less dreadful actually #there is still small things in life that makes you happy there some freedom and hope #anyways tldr nooo cuno don't be a pig and hardie boys >>> rcm #now sleepy time for me

[baker-streets-violin]

re: that last post i reblogged:

"modern watson would be a blogger!" outdated. modern watson would be an accidental tiktok influencer.

#come with me and share this vision: watson; depressed; in his 20s. spends his days miserably and endlessly scrolling through social media #especially tiktok because like have you seen what that site does to people. moves in with new rommate. new rommate is an enchanting weirdo. #watson with nothing better to do starts making content about his new rommate who can deduce all sorts of wild shit through little details #hes not too worried about letting personal details because he figures nobody will really see it and hes just incredibly enamoured with #holmes' eccentricities. his videos proceed to go viral. watson has now become an influencer. holmes does not have social media except MAYBE #an old tumblr account so hes not aware enough of whats going on to be really worried about it but he does know enough #about tiktok to go hm. i will amuse you watson because it makes you happy. but i will not like it. #violin.txt

[bumblingbabooshka]

His Ears... Patreon | Ko-fi

#Tuvok #they got a lil bigger <3 #I feel like my art hasn't been as interesting lately :/ but I'm currently struggling with bouts of intense depression #and random body aches - so thank you for your patience and support! #Also I know they make Tuvok a captain but that will never ever be canon to me (same with Seven) #To me? He's some kind of instructor #I like the thought of Janeway being an admiral - Tuvok's an instructor and Chakotay is.....off. doing his own thing. #I can see him doing a lot of things. Liiike...helping build houses after the war #bee doodles #voy #need to draw more gilf tuvok - that will fix me #IMPORTANT: All 3 of them are disatisfied and varying levels of miserable in their lives/careers after Voyager #par for the voy crew course v_v #st voyager

[bericas]

you would rather be with her, hearing the light buzz of her snoring, watching her sleep.

#twedit #bericaedit #berica #twrarepair #teenwolfedit #I MISS THEMMMMMMMMMMMMM #oh for my tags #vernon boyd #erica reyes #tw #like this is a berica set for sure #but its also kind of a boyd set #he was so miserable for all of 3a and then he died #and it makes me so sad and i wish he'd gotten so much more DEPTH #i love berica but it is actually like deeply sad that they were the only thing the other person had #like it's very depressing that boyd's like. PERSONHOOD dies with erica and he feels no relief until he's dying #and i chose the vault INTENTIONALLY #its the last place erica was alive. its the last place he wasn't alone. would he go back if she was there? #there's literally nothing about here that he loves

[isaksbestpillow]

I have the post ossan's love blues. :(

#my endo bloat (/flare?) is making me depressed and miserable so i'm rewatching my own subs for comfort #they don't make shows like this every year :(

[shleemies]

2015->2023

It gets better

#was looking at old photos and put these side by side. wow #in the first pic i was miserable malnourished and so depressed i didnt think id make it to 2016 #the second pic was a few months ago in too lazy to take w newer one today lol #im still depressed but not like i was. ive come so far and its so hard to see it from day to day sometimes #i never thought id live long enough to go on hrt. top surgery felt completely impossible #but i got to live #i got to transition #i wish i could go back and show that scared kid how far we've come #idk these pics just had me feeling really sappy #maybe one day ill make a more intentional transition timeline post #but these photos really show a lot #transgender love transgender peace transgender joy #it gets better i promise #sounds fake and shallow but it's so fucking true

[bunnihearted]

🐰🌧️

#so on my way home.. #i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future #i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were #bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected #a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati #that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful #and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old #live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :) #you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :) #you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!! #you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u! #whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️ #god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE #i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things #now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao #there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives #by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it. #or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me #only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die #bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything #for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!! #not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right #i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax #but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭 #my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became #bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life

[telekitnetic-art]

about your last post: I totally understand where you’re coming from. I’m a Coast Salish artist and have published some art for my tribe but I’m terrified of posting it online for these reasons. I’ve considered a side blog but I’m not sure if it’s worth it :(

I wish I could give some sort of reassurance or advice or hypothetical way of handling it that i'm trying out that might help, but the truth is that I'm just as torn as you are on the subject of sharing traditional art and culture to a broad audience who might or might not respect and appreciate my culture ;o; I don't *want* to have to not share my artwork, but the way the internet is sometimes, it feels like it's better to only share my art amongst close friends/family members because there are so many non-native ppl out there who will do and say hurtful things because they cannot comprehend boundaries and respect for a protected culture that the government and churches and general public wanted to pick apart like carrion while hoping that the people that belonged to it would vanish and meld into society quietly.

#thinking and organizing my thoughts on this is so depressing for me. #bc unlike what a lot of racists think I want to share my art!! I enjoy telling ppl about my culture and about how I do formline art and- #-how I want to combine formline art with modern media so the two can mesh!! #but at the same time the amount of people who are willing to see my artwork as an aesthetic or commodity for them to just consume and then- #-treat me and other Indigenous artists like me as shit (all while consuming our culture or what they think is our culture) #it just makes me feel miserable. #it's very ironic how many ppl will use the excuse “I'm honoring your culture so it doesn't disappear\you're just being sensitive and greedy #all while consuming culture and stereotypes alike without forethought and refuse to listen to Indigenous ppl they are supposedly honoring. #ask box #this is a pretty heavy answer but if it's any consolation I guess I'm relieved that I'm not the only one struggling with this dilemma #cw racism #cw cultural appropriation

[mulletmitsuya]

y'all, sorry for the random hiatus. i get on this app like atleast once a day and try to post but i just can't dawg😔.

#guys i'm so sorry my depression's getting worse and i've been trying to make gc's but i haven't been able to make anything funny #i'm quite miserable actually #lot's of personal problems #forgive me #the best i can do for myself these days is get out of bed and shower #and i can't make anything funny if i don't have the will to #i'll try to make a real good one when i'm better :) #thank you to everyone who voted in the polls <3

[mlobsters]

bonus (how'd it get so hard / how'd it get so long)

hannibal x the downward spiral (1994) by nine inch nails

piggy / the ruiner / the becoming / reptile / closer

(prev: hannibal x pretty hate machine)

#hannibal #nine inch nails #help me get away from myself #the downward spiral #went less cheeky and more depressed #will graham #mygifs #tw cancer --- but i'll share a slightly less miserable memory about this album #so i used A Warm Place in this awful and dumb physics experiment video presentation i did with my friend #my dad had cancer and was in out of the hospital at the time this was 96 so i was 16 #one day she put a small teddy bear on my desk before physics started and i just lost it #it's the moments of kindness when you're going through the worst shit that sometimes make you crack #i did say it was slightly less miserable #anyway whenever i listen to it i think of that #on absent fathers (excused with a note)

[knightthyme]

how do you make things when you are horribly depressed and tired 24/7 and have no motivation to do anything. i dont have the energy to do Anything i enjoy i can get things done fine like necessities and eating and work its just the moment i Wanna do something i like its Over i Cant Do It. i want to draw so bad!!!!! i love creating!!!!!!! im incapable of doing it though!!!!! i am a wild animal running in frantic circles in its cage

#i dont know if its art block #maybe kinda but im also just #generally more fatigued #and i dont feel like doing things #nothing specific going on to make me feel as bad as i do #but the depression is Hitting Harder lately!!! #i am on medication at least #its just not doing much recently #im not miserable 24/7 but i also am not getting joy out of much #and when i do its only for a short period of time #im SICK OF IT i want to draw again #i wanna make things!!! so bad!!!!

[anneangel]

Grantaire...

Curious how Victor Hugo manages to fuse personality into the characters. Grantaire may be in coadjuvant but he's so... quick-witted, intelligent and well-spoken, with a very social demeanor, but with a bottle in hand and alcohol in his body, he becomes easily depressing, truly dejected, melancholy and downright unhappy. And I sympathize???

They are characters so different from each other, it's crazy how the same author who creates the merciful, religious and God-fearing Bishop Charles-François-Bienvenu Myriel, creates Grantaire too and so many other characters with such different and profound personalities.

Grantaire has such a skeptical view of life (see everything from a negative dogmatism point of view, that is, his justice about things is always conditioned by a feeling of disbelief, do not confuse with questioning, in the skeptic there is a surly, bitter, unproductive denial – people like that are usually pessimistic). This is described in the book as: "Grantaire was a man who took good care not to believe in anything." He's not genuinely a person contrary to those around him, his cynicism isn't an act of provocation towards his peers only, but really how he views life and the world.

In the book: “He was ironical and cordial. His indifference loved. His mind could get along without belief, but his heart could not get along without friendship”.

And too, he says :

“Gentlemen, my father always hated me because I could never be a mathematician. And here, too, I don't understand your love of freedom and the republic! I'm just Grantaire, the good guy! As I never had money, I never got used it, and therefore I never lacked it; however, if I were rich, there would be no poor people, you would see! Oh, if good hearts were the ones with good fortunes, it would be different and things would go along a different path! Why, imagine Jesus Christ, with the Rothschild fortune! What good would he do!(…)”

“In fact, this circumstance has just confirmed my conjectures about the situation of God's fortune, and judging by so many poverties that already exist up there and down here, in view of so much misery in everything, I suspect that God does not it's very rich there. There is appearance, it is true, but one knows the poverty that is hidden. Oh, by all the saints on Olympus and by all the gods in Heaven, I wasn't born to be a Parisian, I was born for the easy life, but that's not how anyone's life is. In view of this I will drink more. The earth is absurd. Oh, old world, old world! You are the vile vessel of demoralization, deprivation, prostitution, ambition, ineptitude!” And Grantaire, after this burst of eloquence, had a burst of coughing, which he deserved.

“My friends, I hate the human species! (...) I think it is time to clarify the human being. But here comes sadness to take possession of me again!"

"Oh my God! Morality is something that does not exist in this world! Oh, what in this world goes birds of prey! Almost all are bad eagles! So many that I am afraid of them. So, don't believe in anything. The only reality is drinking. Whatever your opinion, it doesn't matter, it's all about drinking!". This was his axiom: "There is but one certainty, my full glass."

Grantaire, completely intoxicated, stunned the ears of those around him, in one of the corners, disagreeing in a thunderous voice and shouting: “I am thirsty. Mortals, here is my desire: I wanted to drink, because I want to forget life. Life is a hideous invention by I don't know who. Something that lasts nothing and is worth nothing; and we kill each other to live. Life is a frame about to come crashing down. Happiness, a panel painted only on one side. Ecclesiastes says that all is vanity. It is a pity that I am ignorant, otherwise I would quote you an immensity of things; but I don't know anything. I used to be gifted when I was in art class, but there are so many vices in virtue…” Bossuet tried to shut him up and Joly said “don't give Grantaire any more wine, he ends up this penniless and a little mad”, but R kept going at the top of his lungs “Who gave you such a right without my permission? And too much, I'm sad. What do you want you to say? Man is bad, man is deformed, miserable, infamous, melancholic... and I am angry, enraged, bored, I can only open my mouth, I feel dead, I feel stupid (...)”

"wine, mediocre source of dreams. Grantaire was an adventurous drinker of dreams. In the first glasses Grantaire, his prodigious joy appeared; then he reached this dismal (macabre) phase, a fearful intoxication, half-opened in front of him, instead of making him stop, it attracted him. He had left education aside and had left the cup, drinking from the bottle. The measure is the abyss. Having no opium at hand (used as a narcotic, taking the person into a stupor rather than anesthesia), nor hashish (cannabis extract used as a narcotic), and wanting to fill his brain with twilight, he had resorted to the dreadful mixture of brandy, beer and absinthe, which produces terrible lethargy (unconsciousness). It is from the three vapours, beer, brandy, absinthe, that the lead of his soul is composed. And his darkness is three: Nightmare, Night, Death, fluttering over his sleeping psyche".

“However, this sceptic had one fanaticism. This fanaticism was neither a dogma, nor an idea, nor an art, nor a science; it was a man: Enjolras. Grantaire admired, loved, and venerated Enjolras. To whom did this anarchical scoffer unite himself in this phalanx of absolute minds? To the most absolute. In what manner had Enjolras subjugated him? By his ideas? No. By his character. A phenomenon which is often observable. A sceptic who adheres to a believer is as simple as the law of complementary colors. That which we lack attracts us. No one loves the light like the blind man. Grantaire, in whom writhed doubt, loved to watch faith soar in Enjolras. He had need of Enjolras. That chaste, healthy, firm, upright, hard, candid nature charmed him, without his being clearly aware of it, and without the idea of explaining it to himself having occurred to him.”

One might almost say that affinities begin with the letters of the alphabet. In that sequence, O and P are inseparable. You might just as well say O and P as Orestes and Pylades.

"A true satellite of Enjolras, Grantaire lived within this circle of young men (les amis de l'ABC). He dwelt among them, only with them was he happy, he followed them everywhere. His pleasure was to watch these figures come and go in a wine-induced haze. They put up with him because of his good humour. In his belief, Enjolras looked down on this sceptic; and in his sobriety, on this drunkard. He spared him a little lordly pity. Grantaire was an unwanted Pylades. Always snubbed by Enjolras, spurned, rebuffed and back again for more, he said of Enjolras, ‘What marmoreal magnificence'."

"There are men who seem to be born to be the reverse, the obverse, the other side. They are Pollux, Patrocles, Nisus, Eudamidas, Ephestion, Pechmeja. They only exist on condition that they are backed up with another man; their name is a sequel, and is only written preceded by the conjunction and; and their existence is not their own; it is the other side of an existence which is not theirs. Grantaire was one of these men. He was the obverse of Enjolras".

#les amis de l'abc #les amis #les mis #grantaire #r #les miserables #victor hugo #book #depressed #enjolras x grantaire #enjoltaire #makes me want to know every detail of his life #and what made him so skeptical #headcanons? #fanfictions #those authors who give deep personality to mere supporting characters