dear mojang
add more crops in minecraft im begging you im on my hands and knees give us tomatoes give us onions give us strawberries give us peppers
add more food recipes please give us sandwiches give us more pastries give us pudding or some shit
sincerely, the farmer of every minecraft server
19K notes
·
View notes
aaa games: we have some of the most CUTTING EDGE character customization options for you!! you can't make them fat tho, only cause we'd have to design more clothing models and adjust the animation for them and we just don't have the resources for that haha you understand right. that's totally the only reason we don't let you do that. anyways which of these 6 cocks would you like your character to have
3K notes
·
View notes
I always underestimate how easy it can be to entertain a teenager. I have this preconception that small kids find everything fun even mundane stuff while teens are jaded and self-conscious and need elaborate or cool activities, but my teen cousins are visiting this week and when they arrived I was in the greenhouse having an issue with the filter in one of the tanks, so I asked them if they could catch all the fish from one tank and move them to the other tank, and they were delighted to be given little dip nets and sit on the edge of the tank to hunt fish for 20min. As I asked them to do it I was thinking, it’s like those duck-fishing fairground games from when they were toddlers, they’ll probably think it’s a bit cringe, and five minutes into it these jaded teenagers were like, hey it’s like duck fishing at the funfair when we were toddlers, I've missed it, it’s fun :D
4K notes
·
View notes
I’m fucking dying Astarion’s early party banter is him just flirting with all the companions and striking out; none of them are having it. When he comes on to Tav at the party, not only is he manipulating them, but they are literally his last choice. Not even plan b or c, Tav was plan ‘fuck it, I guess we’re doing this!’ and that clown still fell into his own pit trap.
4K notes
·
View notes
"You have bonded with Astarion, body and soul. His scent lingers on your skin. If there is to be anything between us, it must be with his consent. And perhaps some day, his participation."
3K notes
·
View notes