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stiltonbasket · 3 years

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but ALSO okay so first of all thank you so much for the ficlets so far they are Adorable and i love them so much. second of all i am so glad you opened prompts again bcuz. i have. smth ive been wanting to read for a WHILE. so. prompt: junior generation post-canon, they all have super high standards for romantic partners cuz they spend time with Super Lovey Dovey WangXian. not like jiang cheng's List but smth a la Tenille Arts's Somebody Like That iykwim

i hope its not too late to insert a detail to my prompt!!! (i ran outta chara space in the og prompt message and then forgot ^^" ) but theres just one thing!! i really wanna see!!!! in the wangxian spoiling each other bit!!!!! (and the juniors being all That is Love Why Should We Settle For Less) -- i want lan zhan walkin around at one point with his hair in a braid and flowers braided in!!! and if asked he gets all soft and looks at it and is like "wei ying did it" ahhh i love the image <3

can anybody find me (somebody to love)

by stiltonbasket

“Wei-qianbei, we’re getting old enough to go courting now,” Jingyi says eagerly; but he’s a horrible liar who lies, because he and Sizhui are only nineteen, and Jin Ling doesn’t come of age until early winter. “What do you think we should put on our list of requirements?”

(Or, the one where Jin Rulan visits the Cloud Recesses, contemplates his love life, and gets a new point of view on the Lan sect's taxation policy.)

Jin Ling is seventeen the year his dajiu marries Hanguang-jun, and finally gives Jin Ling the right to call Lan Sizhui his cousin. Sizhui’s always been his cousin, of course—they’ve been cousins since Jin Ling was born, even if neither of them knew it—but he couldn’t say so, because that would mean telling everyone that Sizhui was born a Wen. And telling everyone that Sizhui was a Wen would lead to terrible things, so Jin Ling keeps his mouth shut until after his dajiu’s wedding.

“You could just say that he was born to us during the Sunshot Campaign!” Wei Wuxian laughed, when he finally heard why Jin Ling wanted him to hurry up and take his three bows with Hanguang-jun. “Half the cultivation world already thinks he’s ours, anyway.”

But regardless of whether he could call Sizhui his biao-ge in public, Sizhui is first and foremost a very dear friend; and so are Lan Jingyi and A-Qing and Ouyang Zizhen, though Jin Ling’s best friend is probably Zizhen, just like Sizhui’s is Jingyi. He visits them in Gusu as often as he can, since all of them save Zizhen live there, and even Zizhen hangs around the Cloud Recesses more often than not.

“Don’t you have a clan of your own?” Jin Ling frowns, when he visits his dajiu around midsummer to find the younger boy eating xiaolongbao in the jingshi’s new kitchen. “How come you’re still here, A-Zhen? The lectures ended weeks ago!”

“I’m almost sixteen,” Zizhen yawns, reaching for a shallow dish of black vinegar and soaking a salted mushroom in it. “Father says I’m old enough to go where I like, and Lan-xiansheng said I could keep studying with the Lan disciples as long as I stayed.”

“You’re just here for the food,” grumbles Jin Ling. His dajiu is a good cook when he doesn’t cover everything in chili peppers, and Jiujiu once told him in confidence that Wei-dajiu’s food was the closest Jin Ling would ever get to having his mother’s. But a steaming plate of xiaolongbao lands in front of Jin Ling before he can really start thinking about that, and then his baby cousin crawls into his lap and steals one of the soup dumplings.

“Ling-gege pays taxes,” three-year-old Lan Yu says serenely, poking a hole in the xiaolongbao and sucking out the broth. “Xiao-Yu can have one more?”

“Taxes?” Jin Ling stares at him. “What in the world does he mean?”

Wei Wuxian laughs and comes back over to give him another succulent soup dumpling to replace the one Xiao-Yu stole. “He’s pretending to be the sect leader,” he explains, ruffling Jin Ling’s hair on his way back to the stove. “And he found out about tax management this morning, since Lan Zhan and Xichen-ge are thinking about lifting the luxury tax on goods from some of the minor sects. But A-Yu thinks taxes are presents for the sect leader, so…”

“One more bao tax for xiao-Lan-zongzhu!” Xiao-Yu says imperiously, holding out his chubby hands. “Ling-gege give, please?”

“That is not polite, Xiao-Yu,” Hanguang-jun scolds, sweeping into the kitchen with A-Yuan and Jingyi behind him and A-Qing bringing up the rear. He lifts Xiao-Yu into his arms and sits him down on the bench next to Zizhen, and then he reaches up for a stack of patterned bowls and passes them around to the others.

Jin Ling still hasn’t gotten used to eating at the Chief Cultivator’s table, even if Hanguang-jun is technically his uncle now. Sometimes Hanguang-jun even does the cooking, and feeds Wei-dajiu with his own chopsticks while everyone else watches, and then Jin Ling tries to choke himself to death on the bamboo shoots in his yan du xian before deciding that Lanling can’t afford to lose the first decent zongzhu it’s had since his great-grandfather’s time.

“I wish I was married,” Ouyang Zizhen sighs dreamily, resting his cheek on his hand as Xiao-Yu tries to steal his dumplings next. On his other side, A-Qing’s cheeks flush crimson, and she stares resolutely down at her hands while Hanguang-jun offers her a plate of savory vegetables. “It looks so nice, Wei-qianbei.”

“It is nice,” Wei-dajiui winks—and oh, gross, because Hanguang-jun is blushing now, and staring at Wei Wuxian as if he’s the most amazing thing in the world. “Marrying Lan Zhan is the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Mm,” Hanguang-jun says quietly, putting a heaping spoonful of potato congee into his husband’s bowl. “Wei Ying is the best thing that happened to me, too.”

Ouyang Zizhen wails.

“What, you want an arranged marriage?” Wei-dajiu frowns. “ I never went through the process myself—” and Hanguang-jun reaches out and squeezes Wei-dajiu’s waist, as if even thinking about Wei-dajiu seeing a matchmaker was too much— “and I don’t really know anyone who did, since Yunmeng’s a lot freer about these things. Are you sure, Jingyi?”

“I’m not asking for a matchmaker,” Jingyi says, tossing his long ponytail over his shoulder. “I want to know what to look for if my love of a lifetime comes along. So what were you looking for?”

“Nothing when I was your age, A-Yi. I thought I would spend my whole life at Lotus Pier, and marry one of the shijies or shimeis who liked me. But then I met Lan Zhan, and…”

And then his ideal became Hanguang-jun, Jin Ling finishes, chewing on a mouthful of mustard greens. Everyone knows that, Jingyi!

Unfortunately, the conversation doesn’t end there. It goes on for the better part of an hour, and all through the course of coconut pudding Hanguang-jun made for dessert, and Jin Ling can’t even leave because that would be rude, and the food is too good to pass up even if Ouyang Zizhen wants to ask about kissing now.

“How old is old enough to have your first kiss?” he inquires, while Lan Sizhui giggles into his hands and elbows Zizhen to make him stop. “I’m sixteen, so is that too young?”

“I was thirty-eight when I first kissed Wei Ying,” Hanguang-jun says dryly. “I would advise patience, unless Ouyang-gongzi already has a beloved one in mind.”

Jin Ling wants to die. Why is his extended family like this?

“Pudding tax,” Xiao-Yu announces from his lap. “Ling-gege, can A-Yu have a bite?”

“I’m Sect Leader Jin, though. I don’t have to pay you taxes.”

Xiao-Yu gives him a serious little nod before turning to Sizhui. “Yuan-gege, pay pudding taxes.”

“You’ve had enough pudding,” Sizhui scolds; and indeed, the dishes are mostly empty now, except for the serving bowls in the middle of the table. “Come on, A-Yu. Let’s go visit the rabbits.”

They end up at the rabbit field about ten minutes later, after Jingyi and Sizhui help Hanguang-jun with the dishes. Jin Ling thinks it must make a very strange picture: after all, one doesn’t often see three Lan juniors, one Ouyang sect heir, one Jin sect leader, and one Lan baby lying in the grass with bunnies climbing over them. But the peace and quiet is beautifully welcome after the political unrest in Lanling and the dog food in Wei-dajiu’s tiny kitchen, so Jin Ling closes his eyes and settles down for a nap with a small white rabbit on his chest.

“I think Shufu was right,” he hears A-Qing say. “There’s no point in having a list of requirements. Look at what happened to Jiang-zongzhu.”

“His first list was terrible, though,” Zizhen objects. “And he’s going to be married by next spring, so it worked for him in the end. After he fixed his requirements, I mean.”

“Gossipping is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses,” Sizhui says tranquilly. “And what Father meant was that having a list means you might miss your fated one when they come along, so it’s best to think about what you want, instead of what your beloved should be.”

“I’d like it if my wife liked to eat my cooking,” sighs Zizhen—he’s an excellent cook, too, and Jin Ling knows for a fact that A-Qing’s favorite food is the shrimp and water spinach Zizhen’s mother taught him to make. “Then I could cook, and she could wash our children’s hands and bring them to the kitchen when I was done, and we would all eat together.”

“I think I’d like a husband who knew how to do my hair,” A-Qing says, not even trying to be subtle. Jin Ling has seen the combs Zizhen keeps giving her, even if they’re far too young for a courtship, and Zizhen is always the first to offer assistance whenever A-Qing’s hair falls out of its bun. “Even a plain bun is too hard for me, since my hair’s so bushy.”

Zizhen nearly drops his rabbit. “Oh,” he whispers, blushing so hard that his neck turns red. “That’s good!”

Jin Ling wants to die. He can’t stand visiting Lotus Pier because his jiujiu is obviously courting, even if he won’t say he is, and now he’s going to have to watch A-Qing and Zizhen flirt until Zewu-jun and Ouyang-zongzhu give them permission to get married.

“What about you, Jingyi?”

“Huh? Oh, I want to marry someone who won’t mind how loud I am,” Jingyi shrugs. “Or someone even louder than me, so we can make trouble together. A-Yuan?”

“I haven’t really thought about it, actually,” Sizhui sighs. “I’m Zewu-jun’s heir, so I have to get married, but I’m not sure if I want to.”

A moment of silence.

“Then you won’t have to,” Jin Ling says. Everyone stares at him. “Zewu-jun didn’t get married, and Hanguang-jun wouldn’t have if Wei-dajiu didn’t come back to life. You can just choose an heir born to one of your cousins, since Jingyi was going to inherit the sect before Hanguang-jun adopted you.”

The others swoop in to assure Sizhui that no one’s going to make him get married, and Jin Ling folds his arms behind his head and wonders if his biao-ge could possibly be like Zewu-jun: a yi xin yi shen, whole in heart and body, who eschewed marriage in favor of cultivation. It would explain a lot, Jin Ling thinks, because even he knows what it feels like when someone makes his heart beat fast and his face turn pink, and Sizhui’s never felt that way.

(Jin Ling tries not to think of Nie-zongzhu’s hot-tempered archivist, who knocked him into the dust with her saber the last time he visited Qinghe and then told him he had pretty eyes. Nie Shiyong is a few years older than him, and he usually ends up nursing several new bruises each time he meets her, but Jin Ling is man enough to admit to himself that he likes her. Maybe.)

“Xiao-Yu is sleepy,” little A-Yu says, interrupting his embarrassing train of thought before it can go any further. “Yuan-gege, I have a nap?”

“You can just sleep here,” Jingyi suggests. “The grass is soft enough, right? And you can use one of us for a pillow.”

“Jingyi,” Sizhui chides, and Jin Ling hears the long grass rustling as his cousin gets to his feet. “Come on, A-Yu. I’ll take you home to A-Niang.”

“No need,” someone else says; and that’s Hanguang-jun’s voice, coming up the hill from the direction of the jingshi. “I am here. A-Yu, come.”

Jin Ling scrambles up to greet his uncle by marriage (sect leader or not, jiujiu would kill him if he greeted the Chief Cultivator from the ground) and then he reels back and blinks in surprise, because Hanguang-jun’s hair is up in a loose braid instead of a half-topknot, and somebody seems to have decorated the braid with a row of half-bloomed lotus flowers.

“Wei Ying did it,” Hanguang-jun says, with a small, soft smile that makes Sizhui and the others gasp. “He will do the same for your hair, too, if you ask.”

And then he lifts Xiao-Yu up into his arms and carries him away, leaving Jin Ling still frozen mid-bow with Jingyi and Zizhen gaping behind him.

“I think what Hanguang-jun meant is that the first requirement for marriage is love,” Lan Sizhui remarks, when Jin Ling finally snaps his mouth shut. “And that no matter what we want, or think we want, we shouldn’t settle for less.”

(Jin Ling is the first of his friends to marry, and he never forgets his biao-ge’s advice until the end of his days.)

#wangxian #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #jin ling #my fic

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thegirlwholied · 3 years

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fic writer interview game

(though I go such long spans between updates 'fic writer' is a generous description... look, I may not have glorious purpose but I have glorious excuses)

& thanks @aurorawest for the tag 💕

name: Cara

(...not sure how many of you out there know this actually- except those of you who know me IRL! - as while I love my name I rarely reference it here & do enjoy that a certain corner of the internet knows me as lyin)

fandoms: I am a dabbler, a renaissance fan, a reader-of-all-trades (master of none!)- I'm all over the place; if I like something I check the Tumblr tag; if I reblog it I have probably at least stalked the AO3 page to see what folks are up to (I am in my own little fandom corner- but kitty-corner to many avenues!).

two-shots: the closest I've come to a two-shot I wound up putting up as a one-shot instead (or we could count my one fic that only has 2 chapters, but in my head it has more)

most popular multi-chapter fic: I had to check but my guess was right, it is Glass of Water, & you know, imho the one thing ol' fan fic dot net still has going for it over AO3 is its cool statistics - I don't know who you are, 50-100 people from all over the world reading till the last chapter every month on FF Dot Net even now, but much love!

actual worst part of writing: making myself sit down & get going. When I really get going - I forget to stop, I forget to eat, I don't hear people talking or music (when I toured the Louisa May Alcott house they described her writing like this and I related so much), I go for hours upon hours without meaning to and then I stop and - tend to stay stopped too long. I'm not good at the 'write everyday' process; I'm best at it when traveling, when I'd settle in at a coffee shop or location (or on a plane!), write some, & have to move on, but, uh, global pandemic put a cramp in that. I know it has to be on the page to count but I really, really do a lot of my writing in my head first. Most of my fics, if you've read one, are first drafts, straight up. They just got rewritten in my head & half-started notes & beginning scenes until I finally sat down and the whole thing came out at once feeling right. Or half comes out in one burst and the rest in another burst however much later. Typically I'd adjust a few typos & post. This is by no means writing advice! It'd be bad writing advice! But just how I operate. I've tried other ways but I've learned over years that my work's better when I accomodate/work around my natural creative process rather than trying to change it. (Also deadlines. I'm so good at delivering on hard deadlines; I am weak with soft deadlines.)

how you choose your titles: as this is a fic specific 'interview', how I title fics is very different than my og fiction. Most commonly: song lyric (...actually I did title my og fiction grad school thesis after a song lyric too; i may not hear/play much music while I write but I sure think about writing while listening to it), canon reference that is typically One Dramatic Word, poem/quote references with a heavy lean on Yeats.

do you outine?: not for fan fics, but I have a general shape in my head of 'this chapter where this happens' - if I have an unfinished fic with expected number of chapters, those are pretty accurately predictions; I have at least a big picture of what happens in each chapter. & probably some of the conversations, sometimes even already jotted-down dialogue. A written outline? Not so much (my original novel did have a list of chapters with notes to keep it straight but they looked like "Chapter Thirty-Seven: epilogueeeeeeee denoumenttttttttt job" - direct quote down to the # of t's, there)

Ideas you probably won't get around to, but wouldn't it be nice?: I still convince myself I will finish All the Things! but uh some have gone wayside yeah. One I really thought would be cool & know is blowing in the wind was this Buffy fic (yes, A Fic Not Appearing On My Actual Fic Profiles) which was a *whole* Big Concept thing even though I thought I could do it in 5 chapters. ...And then I didn't.

spicy tangential opinion: not that spicy but the fanon/canon gulf is often wide & deep for certain characters in particular &🎶I'm frightened by those who don't see it🎶. really, a character’s fanon version at times may be more fun (though more often it softens character's edges amd I like edges) but... with *certain characters in particular* it feels like that distinction’s been weirdly lost. Also, random, but probably because,my formative years were fan fic dot net, not livejournal, I always feel odd when my AO3 replies to comments (instead of reviews) are a) public and b) add to the comment count. AND I tend to wind up in a loop of 'wouldn't this person rather I spent this time working on an update' where I just... never reply which seems counter to the expected AO3-cultural norm these days, so I feel guilty? Despite the guilt I just reply to so many emails for a living (3 inboxes just for work, plus then my personal email & texts!)... so for the record my default approach is 'I appreciate all comments SO SO MUCH & do read them all but please message me on Tumblr instead if you want a response".

These opinions are 'pumpkin spice' levels of spice, not exactly cayenne here, but hey I think I achieved tangential

callouts @ me: I always think I will get there faster than I do - this is true when I am driving places too! My friends expect me to be late even though I don't expect me to be late!- so I have been known to, let's say, overpromise on update speed. (I meant to do my work today, goes a favorite poem that always applies @ me) (Time between 2011 and 2021 feels especially timey-wimey and oh no 🎶well, I guess this is growing up 🎶).

(also @ me: overly fond of parenthesis.)

& definitely some people-pleasing tendencies that spill over into, not so much my writing itself, but how I feel about it.

best writing traits: detail, dialogue, ...deaths? Lol but really. My favorite thing as a reader is when writing make you laugh & cry so those are my favorite compliments as a writer. Humor/angst: always my fic genre. Even my closest-to-fix-it fics are labeled 'somebody lives' not 'everybody lives'. ...and I need to update them (dammit)

tagging: ...this is way too long to tag, aka inflict directly upon, anyone else, except @aurorawest who asked for it 😂

#about me #tag games

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betweenthetimeandsound · 3 years

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Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#160-151)

(Author's note: Sorry about it being a couple of days late--I wanted to rest a bit--which I will do again because we hit the top 150--and had to download quite a bit for the gifs. Please enjoy this bunch, though!)

#160: Dihaj -- Skeletons (Azerbaijan 2017)

“When we hook up it’s fantasy We’re just like alchemy I’ve never been so ready”

I completely neglected Skeletons during the contest, as I didn't listen to it beforehand and didn't watch songs 12-17 when watching the grand final live. Along with "Grab the Moment" that year, it sandwiched a horrendous stretch of songs in #13-16.

Despite this, I listened to it a lot afterwards. It’s equal parts intriguing and mysterious, especially with the almost-nonsensical lyrics with interesting images. I always imagined a concept film in which the main character meets a potential love interest in a night club, only to go too far and almost kill him.

The atmosphere the staging created was a bit strange, in that it incorporates masks and a world inside a school chalkboard. For each of these aspects, Skeletons is my favorite Azeri entry ever—it stands out in a unique way because of its eccentricity.

Personal ranking: 5th/42 Actual ranking: 14th/26 GF in Kyiv

#159: Tommy Seebach -- Disco Tango (Denmark 1979)

“Hun er en stjerne på et dansegulv Slår John Travolta i en rock ‘n’ roll På diskoteket ta’r hun kegler, og der ka’ man se Dem stå i kø og skæve, hver gang hun gør sin entré”

“She’s a star on a dance floor Beats John Travolta in a rock ‘n’ roll At the disco she’s scoring, and there you see Them queue up with an eye on her, every time she enters”

Disco and tango are two genres you don’t expect to work together, despite them being so fun to dance to. Despite this, Tommy Seebach makes it sound natural. There’s a bit of adjustment needed when listening to it, but it’s equally flirty and groovy all at once, as one gets to know the many quirks of the song.

The live performance definitely elevates it--not only with Debbie Cameron's enthusiasm (she would come back two years later with Tommy in a bigger part), but also because of the orchestration. The mix with strings and castanets in the chorus was definitely the best part and gets me shaking.

It’s different for Denmark, but definitely a song you should put in a disco (*clap clap*) from time to time!

Personal ranking: 3rd/19 Actual ranking: 6th/19 in Jerusalem

#158: Poli Genova -- If Love (Were) a Crime (Bulgaria 2016)

“Unafraid, never fade When it’s dark we illuminate”

Bulgaria’s comeback after a two-year hiatus sees them with a hyper energetic pop song with an uplifting message. While it seems like a simple one at first, the diverse Eurovision community can embrace it for its openness and determination. The great production upholds this gem, and the lighting on stage adds to it, especially in the end.

Poli definitely makes this song come to life with her vocals and her upbeat personality, making it shine even more! (And I did like her costume--not something for everyday-wear, but definitely one fitting the song and a bit avant--garde too). Compared to her first entry, which fights against those who put her down in a pop-rock way, she delivers with fun.

And they got their first qualification in nine years and a start to a nice run of entries as a result.

Personal ranking: 5th/42 Actual ranking: 4th/42 GF in Stockholm

#157: Athena -- For Real (Turkey 2004)

“All I know is you don’t want to be part of the crowd Realise yourself You say it but don’t feel it, what you sayin’ has no meanin’ Don’t hide your soul”

For their host entry, Turkey brings upon Athena, a ska-punk (and former metalcore) band with this bouncy song. And it’s such a great one—filled with energy and fun. A bit different from what we expect from Turkey, but it shows what their music industry could bring.

It's lively and fun, with Gokhan leading the charge with his presence. At times, he shouts more than he sings and it seems like he didn't dress up for a more formal event. That said, there's still a lot of charm in "For Real's" performance, ranging from the sharks in the background to the "Hi mom!" and the peace jacket. It comes along in an eccentric package, and makes for a solid predecessor to their rock-based entries four years later.

And it definitely hints at being oneself, which celebrates individuality in a fun way.

(Plus, that's the reason why my top three in 2004 isn't the actual top three. Haha)

Personal ranking: 3rd/36 Actual ranking: 4th/24 in Istanbul

#156: Katarína Hasprová - Modlitba (Slovakia 1998)

“Láska kráčam údolím sĺz A len ty môžeš zmierniť môj žiaľ Túžim sa dotknúť tvojich pier, tvojich rúk Prosím vráť sa mi, nevzdaj sa nás”

“Love, I am walking the valley of tears Only you can get me out of misery I long to touch your hands, your lips Please, come back, do not give up”

A comment on the interwebs suggested anybody who has Horehronie as their favorite Slovak entry has never listened to this. I could understand why people would gravitate towards the former, but this stands out more for me (and not just because of the religious title).

The introduction reminds me of “Kiss From a Rose”, which here, is less meant to be about plagiarism and more about the 1990s feel of it. Musically, it takes the same medieval elements from other 1990s entries, but it tells a different story, one about trying to fix a relationship on the rocks. It builds well, going from an otherwise delicate ballad to something more explosive when one gets into the chorus. The orchestration really helps it too!

Modlitba got six points from Croatia...and then nothing else. It's still a shame it did so poorly, but as a potential nul-pointer too? Sad.

Personal ranking: 4th/25 Actual ranking: 21st/25 in Birmingham

#155: Melovin -- Under the Ladder (Ukraine 2018)

“Nothing but your will sets you on fire Fire lasts forever...”

The song that inspired a fervor from Melovin’s fans, including me! While I’m not as enthusiastic as them, I still love this song—it's pulsating and intense, with quite interesting lyrics about getting up again(with some enunciation issues). There was a point where the song got a musical revamp, and I feared it would make the song worse, but fortunately it kept the whole thing intact with a few production changes.

Melovin proves he's a talented showman, and seeing the stairs go aflame made me smile (even though I preferred the effect more on his Vidbir performance; the flaming LEDs really helped there). Good thing the televote swooped in, because last place in the jury vote feels really wrong (though it could be because of said pronunciation).

Plus he has some good post-Eurovision songs—check them out! My favorite is З тобою, зі мною, і годі.

Personal ranking: 6th/43 Actual ranking: 17th/26 GF in Lisbon

#154: Joci Papai -- Origo (Hungary 2017)

“Be kell csuknod a szemed Úgy láthatsz meg engemet Hogy meghódítsd a szívem Ismerned kell lelkemet”

“You need to close your eyes So you can see me To conquer my heart You have to know my soul”

While Az en apam (#240) touches me more than Origo, one can’t deny this is the more creative song. It combines not only Romani influences, but also a dark pop foreground which allows them to shine.

In addition, the lyrics are absolutely masterful—they are rooted in Joci’s story and packs a punch in the message. It's tells of a relationship with someone who doesn't accept him for who he is (cursing her forever as a result), along with how Joci grew up and used music as a weapon for himself and his people. He's a compelling storyteller, and you can tell he sings it from the soul.

Combined with a compelling rap and a neat violin instrumental, you get a completely unique experience.

Personal ranking: 4th/42 Actual ranking: 8th/26 GF in Kyiv

#153: Blanche -- City Lights (Belgium 2017)

“All alone in the danger zone Are you ready to take my hand?”

Blanche had quite the journey in Eurovision--first her song gets released, and immediately becomes a contender. Then she has problems performing in shows and during rehearsals, at which the odds star dropping like flies. Then her semi-final performance was notably wobbly, but she still qualifies and places fourth.

Despite the staging errors (I would've personally have made the lighting gold rather than natural-colored), it was fully deserved and I think it was better than the eventual top three.

The vibe of this song reminds me of walking down the streets of Tokyo, because of the visuals involved. Everything is in a rush, but one's not sure There’s also tension, because of the dark electronic sound that dominates it. Despite Blanche’s nervousness on stage, it worked well with the song—it amplified the sensation of walking down a wire and wondering if the relationship will work. A startling entry from Belgium and one that really strikes at modernity.

Personal ranking: 3rd/42 Actual ranking: 4th/26 GF in Kyiv

#152: Frances Ruffelle -- We Will Be Free (Lonely Symphony) (United Kingdom 1994)

“Welcome to the land Where all our dreams are planned And fighting is a thing to do...”

The first of the UK’s attempts to modernize the contest in the 1990s, it’s a cool, funky song with interestingly-written lyrics. Someone compared the chorus to a protest slogan for social justice movement, but the rest of the song discusses a complex relationship. The opening lines are a highlight in particular, and everything flows fantastically.

A few bits of the live-performance went out of hand, like with the orchestration and Frances’ vocals, explained by how she was bopping up and down and was told that she needed to keep that down. As a result, she couldn't focus on her vocals and they turned out a bit sharp at times.

That said, she had a pretty dress and charming look about her. And while it placed in the top ten, I think it should've done better.

Personal ranking: 4th/25 Actual ranking: 10th/25 in Dublin

#151: Sebalter -- Hunter of Stars (Switzerland 2014)

"I state my heart has been well trained I’m gonna be your candidate I am the hunter and you are the prey Tonight I’m gonna eat you up"

This word-salad of a song makes it quite hard to choose a good lyric, as it has a bunch of nice lines but almost no meaning to them. Reading them again, it seems like one is trying to get his affections to like him, to no avail, unfortunately.

But beyond that, we get a fun and wholesome song, which features a prominent banjo and even a violin solo! From the opening melody I can't help but smile, or even whistle along at points (everytime the latter synchronizes, I feel a bit of accomplishment). It's a bit more folksy than what the contest oriented on the time (slickly produced pop with a bit of dubstep), which makes it even more special.

Finally, we have Sebalter himself, who really carries his own song! Not only is he quite good-looking, but also very charismatic and knows how to have a good time. While Swiss entries have become better known since then, you can't replicate Hunter of Stars; it's too special!

Personal ranking: 5th/37 Actual ranking: 13th/26 GF in Copenhagen

#eurovision song contest #esc 250 #esc top 250 #esc azerbaijan #esc denmark #esc bulgaria #esc turkey #esc slovakia #esc ukraine #esc hungary #esc belgium #esc united kingdom #esc switzerland #vintage eurovision #three minutes to eternity

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lena-in-a-red-dress · 4 years

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Legacy is a Lonely Color [a post 5x11 ficlet]

If there is one person Lena would least expect to see standing on her balcony, it's Winslow Schott.

She'd seen the news about the Toyman, and admittedly felt a pang of regret that the shift in reality had so ill-served such a bright personality. But the man on her balcony doesn't have the manic glee Lena glimpsed in the news footage. Instead, the smile that greets her with a small wave is calm, his gaze steady as he regards her through the glass.

Curiosity spurs Lena to open the door, though she can imagine what has brought a Legionnaire to her doorstep.

"Good to see you're not insane," she greets as Winn steps inside her office. "Or should I be worried about any cymbal-clapping monkeys rolling around here?"

"Har har," he retorts. He turns towards her as though reaching for a friendly hug, but stops short when Lena stiffens and turns away. He diverts his intention by sucking in a deep breath. "Nope, no murderous monkeys this time. But if you're interested, I know a guy."

He clicks his tongue with a wink and a pair of finger guns, and Lena fails to keep a smile from pulling at her lips. Mutual grins linger between them for a long moment, before Winn's fades and Lena remembers herself.

"What are you doing, Lena?"

Lena folds her arms stiffly across her chest, jaw clenching as she squares her shoulders against the accusation that falls softly in the evening shadows.

"Excuse me?"

"Non Nocere? J'onn showed me what almost happened, and Lena-- this is not the way."

Leveling her very best Luthor glare at the Legionnaire. "I'm curious, Agent Schott... do I miraculously survive into the 23rd century?"

Winn blinks, his features scrunching in confusion. "Um-- no...?"

"Then I'm curious as to when we became friends enough that you can presume to know anything about me."

To her surprise, Winn only smiles, even as he ducks his head as though to hide it. "No... I know. We're not friends. In fact it's really my only true regret about going with the Legion."

Lena doesn't understand. Despite the high-octane circumstances of thor previous encounters, they never became personal. Perhaps, over time, they could have been true friends, but Winn had been long gone before Lena was admitted so deep into Kara's circle.

Sensing her confusion, Winn continues.

"Yeah, turns out when people in the future know you used to hang with the OG Supergirl, they want to know everything. Including what you know about her brilliant and beautiful best friend Lena Luthor."

Lena scowls. "Your future has its details wrong. We're not friends."

Winn's lips pull into a grimace. "Yeah. I heard that too."

"If this is some kind of ploy for me to--"

"Kara doesn't know I'm here. She's not that kind of person."

Resentment coils in its nest, deep in her chest. Lena's fingers tighten painfully on her biceps. "Well, I'm sure you have reason to believe that."

Winn's lips pinch together, but he moves on. "Anyway, my point is that those guys knew more about you than I did. And the more I learned trying to catch up, the more I wished I'd made more of an effort to know you when I had the chance. I mean, I always knew I liked you-- you're AWESOME-- but I didn't realize just how much."

Lena shakes her head. She's had enough lip service to last her a lifetime, anf she has no interest in empty words from Kara's closest friend--let alone one who doesn't look like he'll be abandoning the future to rectify the situation. "We're both intelligent people, Mr. Schott. We both know you're not here to learn my favorite color and braid my hair. And knowing your history with Supergirl and her friends, I'm going to cut to the chase: there's nothing you can say to me tonight or two hundred years from now that will convince me to trust her again." She is done giving second chances. She is done offering her heart to others and having it returned to her in pieces. But Winn regards Lena with a smile that rests on his features with a maturity she doesn't remember seeing before. "The only person you need to trust again is yourself." A jolt arcs clean through Lena's core. It takes all her control not to recoil from the soft accusation, but Winn must see the reflexive flinch, because the next thing she knows, warm hands take her by the shoulders. Somehow the soft touch lays her bare, slicing through the bubble that's surrounded her since the night she killed her brother. Tears spring unbidden to her eyes. "No one can survive as an island. Not even the great Lena Luthor." Winn's own smile turns damp, even as it broadens. "El mayarah." Just like that, Lena's defenses snap back up. She blinks away her sudden emotion, scoffing. "Another load of--" Winn interrupts her curse. "Stronger together isn't just Supergirl's motto," he tells her. "It's L-Corp's too." Lena freezes. L-Corp? That means-- she stares at Winn in question, but he doesn't elaborate. "Non Nocere is not your legacy." He says it with such certainty that Lena can't find any protest within her. "Trust yourself," Winn says, "and you will find your way. Whether or not that way lies with Supergirl is up to you. But if you abandon yourself... you'll be lost forever." She's already lost. Lena knows it, however much she tries to deny. Non Nocere was as much about DOING something as it was about fixing something. It's all the more clear now that her company is Lex's again and she has absolutely nothing to show for the last four years of her life. But maybe it's not gone for good. Maybe Lena has a future ahead of her after all. And now she has a direction in how to get there. "It was good to see you." Winn pulls away, and backs up towards the balcony. When he floats to step onto the rail of the balcony, Lena calls out. "Winn." He pauses, pivoting to face her recklessly enough to make Lena's heart lurch in alarm. She swallows it down, though, and focuses on him rather than the drop at his heels. "Are you really not going to ask why I have the interface cube from your ship?" He's got to have noticed it missing by now. But his eyebrows lift indiscernably. "Do you really think I wouldn't know a piece of 23rd century tech when I see it?" Winn affects an innocent shrug. "I don't know what you're talking about." Leaning against the doorframe, Lena folds her arms with a smirk of her own. "I think I would have liked to know you too, Mr. Schott." Her confession earns a grin, and another wink. "Catch you around, Miss Luthor." With that, Winn spreads his arms wide and simply tips himself backwards, plunging into empty space. Just as a cry catches in Lena's throat, his head pops back into view, gleeful and giggling. "I've always wanted to do that!" And there goes Earth's very own Legionnaire, zooming up towards the cloud covered sky. Lena watches him go, her thoughts racing as swiftly as he flies. In the days that follow, his words continue tumble about Lena's brain. She weighs them carefully, lets them lead down a multitude of potential paths until she settles on the one that suits her best. It's risky, with a high probabilty of failure, but alternatives leave her with more certain, but less favorable outcomes. And there is always one way she can up her odds. She bites the bullet late one evening and knocks loudly on a beige metal door on the rent-controlled side of down. The sound is almost lost in the laughter she can hear from within, but in just a few moments the knob turns and the door opens to reveal Kara Danvers gaping on the other side. "Lena!" she blurts, cheeks flushing. "You're here!" Lena shrugs. "Well, it is second-friday." Game night. Kara steps aside, and Lena deigns to step inside. As she does she, she casts a cursory glance across the stunned faces staring at her. Only Brainy seems to be missing, but his seat is filled neatly by Winn, whose eyes crinkle behind a disguise of glasses and nothing else. Her own seat has been comandeered by William Dey, who regards her with a stare that feels particularly loathsome. Reflexively, Lena does the math since his arrival in National City, and has to swallow the scoff that scrapes up her throat. Kara invites a coworker she hates in a third of the time it took Lena to earn her inclusion. It doesn't surprise Lena. Not now. "Don't worry," she delivers, half to Kara and half to the staring audience. "I'm not here to participate. Not that you're low on numbers." Kara comes even with her, eyes wide and unblinking, as though Lena might disappear in an instant. "Then... why are you here?" she asks. "Is everything okay?" "No," Lena clips shortly. She revels in the flinch she earns. Nothing is okay. Kara knows that. "H-how can we help?" Kara stammers. "You can't. I have a job for Supergirl." William Dey, of all people, is the first to react. "Supergirl doesn't answer to Luthors," he declares, rising to his feet. Before Lena rolls her own eyes, she notes a flash of irritation that travels across Kara's features. Perhaps she still has some spine after all. "The salary we issue to her direct deposit every month says otherwise," Lena drawls. "And I fail to recall where you were invited into the conversation, Mr. Dey." "I'd be happy to relay a message," Kara interjects before Dey could fire back. "What can I tell her?" Lena tilts her head towards Dey. "I'm afraid it's personal." Kara adjusts her glasses. "Oh, um-- I trust him." "That means nothing to me." Again, Lena revels in the way Kara jerks under the pointed barb, cheeks flushing. Lena almost hopes Kara will tell her to fuck off. Having Supergirl's assistance would make her work easier, but she doesn't exactly enjoy the thought of spending the time with her either. In the end, Kara turns to the rest of the room. "We're calling it an early night," she says. "Sorry, William." "You don't have to drop everything just because she--" "Welp, I'm pooped anyway," Nia announces, climbing her feet. "Next time I'm gonna have to take a nap before game night. Really takes it out of you, huh?" "Right," Winn nods. He claps Dey on the shoulder. "Come on, man. There's probably still time to catch a taxi." Nia feigns a bathroom break, giving her a reason to linger as Winn guides Dey out the door. Lena ignores the glare the reporter levels at her on his way out, focusing instead on the way Alex kisses Kelly goodbye and promises to be home as soon as she can. Soon it's only Alex and Kara left. Nia emerges as soon as Dey leaves, and a few minutes later Winn re-enters through Kara's open window. This time, when Lena turns her gaze back to Kara, she finds Supergirl gazing back at her. She's still in civilian clothing, her hair still twisted up like Kara Danvers', but it's the hero whose eyes lock on her, a large presence even as she regards Lena with a gaze that isn't anywhere near accusatory. Interesting. "What do you need?" Supergirl asks. Lena recenters herself with a silent, fortifying breath. "Lex. He's planning something, and I intend to stop him. And I will, with or without your help, but it would be faster with more bodies." She looks at the people who lied to her for years, held her at arm's length even as they made a show of embracing her. She doesn't need them, but to reclaim her legacy, Lena's willing to invite them in. If only enough to remove her brother from the field of play. "Who's interested?"

#sg spoilers #legacy is a lonely color #angst #brotp #lena and winn #titles are hard #reveal fallout

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stina-is-a-punk-rocker · 3 years

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‘always and forever, lara jean’: a bungled mess of my thoughts while watching the movie

Alright, cards on the table: I never finished reading the book. I got bored a couple of pages in, so I just read up the summary on Wikipedia and called it a day.

Not gonna lie, I expected better from the movies. I loved the first movie; it was cute, it was fun, it hit all the right places. The second movie was… eh. Jordan Fisher is cute, so that’s a plus.

And then we got the third movie; the final in the To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before trilogy.

And it was somehow even worse.

Maybe I’m exaggerating. Despite its shortcomings in the plot and character development-related departments (the fact that Lara Jean wrote addresses for letters she never meant to send is something that will bother me on my deathbed), the movies have their merits. They’re cutesy and charming and enjoyable, overall; movie-LJ is sweet and unashamedly a girly-girl, which is a refreshing change from the #NotLikeOtherGirls, pick-me girls and bruh girls we had in loads of other YA movies growing up. Peter’s pretty cute, too; he’s not a possessive freak like so many other love interests (The Kissing Booth, After, Anna and the French Kiss), and his and Lara Jean’s dynamic is cute, too. Not to mention- we finally have an Asian lead whose Asian-ness isn’t the whole focus of the story!

Again, maybe I’m being extra with all this. The series is, at its core, solely for entertainment purposes. Not every piece of media has to have an underlying message and you shouldn’t need to read between every goddamn line to find something worthy of enjoying. They’re certainly helpful for whiling away a couple of hours; perfect for bingeing with a pint of ice cream in hand, and all of this is in good fun.

Also, it goes without saying, but: spoilers ahead.

The film beings with Lara Jean scribbling a postcard to Peter while she’s in Korea with her family. The inclusion of that little snapshot of Asian culture made me so happy- seriously, fuck everyone who says diversity in media doesn’t matter. I’m not even Korean, and I was overjoyed at seeing a couple of scenes just from the same continent I’m on. The K-pop music in the background was a fun touch, too (although all Korean music isn’t K-pop, but that’s a rant for another day).

(Also: Blackpink has so many more suitable songs than Pretty Savage that go with the theme of the movies. Kill This Love in the second movie while Lara Jean is getting ready to go to her boyfriend’s match is bad enough- they’re supposed to be in love in that scene, goddammit.)

One thing that bothered me throughout the movies is how obviously non-Korean Lara Jean and Margot look. It’s like whoever chose the cast went for any random Asian- Lana’s Vietnamese and Janel Parrish is half-Chinese, and it’s so obvious. You seriously couldn’t find two Korean-Americans who even vaguely resembled each other so they could pass for sisters? The actresses do a stunning job and I don’t want to shit on them, but I just wish they didn’t go with the ‘all Asians look the same, what’s the difference?’ mindset.

Also, a nitpicky thing I’ve noticed in movies with characters who read a lot: no one holds their books up while they’re reading. Your arms start to cramp, which is why you keep your book in your lap while you’re reading, or you rest on your belly and hold the book in front of you. My spine and shoulders didn’t suffer years of torture as a chronic reader for you to include characters who hold their books up while reading.

A major gripe I have with Always and Forever, Lara Jean is how the characters are almost jarringly out of character- not from the books, but from the two previous movies, too. Lara Jean didn’t have much of a character to begin with, so I can’t say much about her (she dissed Oasis at one point; it’s okay for me to be mean to her), but the rest of them are either caricatures of themselves or just totally different people.

Movie Peter >>> Book Peter. He’s almost too perfect (except for the fact that he unironically loves The Fast and the Furious, which… ew), almost too much of the ideal boyfriend. Not that my perpetually single arse would know. How do boyfriends even work? I wouldn’t know the first thing to do with one; how often should you feed it? Do you need to take it on walks?

(In the notes I’ve written towards the end of the film, I’ve complained about Peter being immature and making Lara Jean feel bad about following her dream to go to NYU. He confuses me.)

Not to mention how distractingly adorable Noah Centineo is from some angles and under certain lighting conditions (other times, he reminds me of the human version of Shrek and that bothered me). King of weird Tweets and Instagram captions though he may be, he’s got a really nice smile, and his gravelly voice is both parts sexy and disturbing.

But I digress.

I’ll never forgive the directors for what they did to Kitty and Chris- two of my favorite characters, from both the books and the movies. Kitty’s annoying to the point of being borderline unlikeable- gone is the occasionally snarky comic relief we all came to love; in her place is an annoying brat whose every line comes out forced. Also, making soap is fun; fuck you, Kitty.

Chris is essentially Dixie D’Amelio’s character from that TikToker Grey’s Anatomy ripoff; the main character in One Direction fanfiction from 2012 who doesn’t want to go to the concert but her best friend gets a ticket for her so she can’t bail but Harry Styles sees her in the crowd and falls in love at first sight and 50k of mutual pining and misunderstandings late, they get together. She’s cynical and snarky and hates capitalism and consumerism and prom (because of course she does), but secretly, she’s into it (because of course she is). My guess is that she’s there to appease all the arseholes (including myself) who accused the characters of being too one-dimensional, but it seems too out of place in a movie that doesn’t have much plot to begin with.

I really, really hate how Lucas was done dirty- throughout every single movie. Of course, it’s Lara Jean’s story so not every side character has to be fully fleshed out- but you’d think three. entire. movies. would be enough to give Lucas a bigger role than the GBF and the token black guy for the diversity brownie points. Every single time Lucas shows up, it’s to push Lara Jean and Peter’s story forward. I would’ve liked to see a romance for him pushed forward instead one for Chris- especially because he says, at one point in a previous movie, that it’s hard to find other gay boys, so it would’ve been sweet to see him find love- and Chris’s character arc could’ve been focused on reconciling with Genevieve. Instead, we see the OG Reggie from Riverdale be the one to show Chris the bright side of monogamy, and Lucas gets a date to prom as an afterthought (another darkskin black dude, so no one thinks the film is racist).

Genevieve’s character in this movie gives me whiplash. Look, I’m all for girls supporting girls- healthy female relationships are something way too many YA movies lack- but she goes from bitch queen extraordinaire to friendly the moment the next scene calls for it. Her character isn’t consistent. A redemption arc should be executed cleanly and believably; you can’t have a character be a total prick one moment and then suddenly be, “Hey, if you get into NYU, let me know,” the next.

And Genevieve’s still an arsehole to Chris; at one point, in NYC, while they’re at the NYU campus grounds (I knew that Lara Jean was going to go to NYU the moment she saw all the banners; I fucking called it), Genevieve tells Chris, “University is for people who actually have a future,” and I recoiled. I’m not the nicest of people and yet that was going too far. Chris doesn’t hesitate to shoot back a, “You peaked in high school,”, but still. Y i k e s. You can’t convince me someone’s turned over a new leaf when they say something like that.

Lara Jean’s dad (forgot his name; gonna call him Dr. Covey) is as unremarkable as ever, and his new wife (forgot her name, too… Trisha? Trina? Eh, something like that) is… unsettling. I mean, I get that they’re all loved up and twitterpatted, but there’s something about all the smiling they’ve got going on that chills me to the bone.

Also, Trisha/Trina kinda looks like TikTok’s ThatVeganTeacher and it bothers me.

Another huge problem with this movie even being made is that the series never had enough plot to continue onto a trilogy. Lara Jean’s letters are what the plots of the first and second movies revolve around; the third only mentions them in passing. The final love letter from Peter was a cute callback, but there’s a massive continuity issue with the first two movies and this last one- both character and plot-wise.

Maybe I’m not articulating this clearly enough, so I’ll use an example: take Harry Potter, for example. Harry’s main goal throughout the series is defeating Voldemort. And it takes all seven books for him to get there, to finally achieve this.

Lara Jean’s goal in the first movie changes midway; from keeping up the façade with Peter so she can avoid the crap with the rest of the letters getting out, to making her fake relationship real. It forms a bridge with the second movie; the letter that went out to John Ambrose, and her dithering between Peter and perfection (I’m not sorry). But what does the third movie have to do with any of this?

There were way too many music montages. You couldn’t go five minutes without a random pop song playing in the background, and it was annoying as hell. Don’t Look Back in Anger was w a s t e d on this stupid film. The artsy scenery shots were even worse- no, I don’t give a fuck about the New York skyline or a bird’s eye view of whatever vehicle Lara Jean is in. A few shots of Seoul would’ve sufficed; the rest was overkill. This movie is way too damn long already (almost 2 entire hours!!!); cut out a couple of those. No one cares.

I thought they’d pull the whole Aladdin trope with character-A-keeps-trying-to-tell-character-B-the-truth-about-a-lie-B-believes-in-about-A-but-B-keeps-interrupting, but Lara Jean (typing her name out is annoying, why couldn’t she have a single name, like both of her sisters?) comes clean earlier than I expected. Peter’s reaction about LJ not getting into Stanford is… uncharacteristically mature? No “Why did you lie to me?”, no accusations, not an ounce of betrayal. Which I did not expect from a guy who’s a little bitch for the greater part of book one (I really don’t like Book Peter, in case you couldn’t tell). I know fuck-all about book three’s Peter, so I can’t tell if he really did adopt this mature, well-adjusted persona, or the movie did it to make Peter seem like less of a dick (like they did it with the sextape-that-wasn’t-a-sextape in the first installment).

On a sidenote, how do these main characters in YA books get into really good colleges with zero to no visible effort? These arseholes fuck around for the entirety of the story and have way too much going on to actually do schoolwork, but they waltz into Ivy Leagues at the end. And apparently, I’m not the only one bothered by this.

There’s something to be said about how the movies don’t really sexualize minors (characters who are minors, to be fair. None of the MCs look anything like teenagers), though. It’s almost weird to see them not getting drunk and partying and having sex all the time. Maybe that’s why Lara Jean trying to get her hand on Peter’s dick felt so stilted and awkward (I cringed so hard when she kept trying to touch him and he kept pushing her hand away, holy shit).

And the kissing. It’s to be expected from a romance film, but there was so. Much. Kissing.

The amount of product placements (… actually, I could count only two: Apple and a pair of Beats headphones Lara Jean puts on at one point, but the movie shoved so many iPhones in my face that I’m obligated to exaggerate) would’ve made anti-capitalist Chris mad.

I’m guessing this all takes place in a parallel universe, sans the coronavirus. Still, being in quarantine this past year and being socially awkward for every other one, it was agonizing seeing everyone so close together in NYC. When Peter kissed the ball (lol) (I have the sense of humor of a straight boy in middle school, don’t judge me) when him and Lara Jean go bowling, I had a visceral reaction. And what are the odds of Peter meeting his estranged dad at the very same bowling alley?

Speaking of Peter’s daddy issues (I’ve written “Hardin but diluted” in my notes; I watched this movie at, like, 1 AM; I’m not entirely sure what was going through my head at that point)- I hated how they guilt-tripped Peter into giving his father another chance. In the wise words of Hannah Montana, everybody makes mistakes- but leaving your wife and two kids for another woman is pretty far from a little oopsie on Mr. Kavinsky’s part. I don’t blame Peter for hating him, and I’m not in a place to judge whether Mr. Kavinsky (does he get a first name?) should be forgiven or not, but I feel like they let him off too easy and made Peter seem like a misunderstood teenager with anger issues for not accepting Mr. Kavinsky’s (crappy) apology at once.

And it adds nothing to the story at all; Mr. Kavinsky peaces out after having one (01) coffee with his firstborn, and he’s never seen again. If you’re going to introduce a subplot, make it tie into the main storyline- the very least you could do is make it an important enough part of the story to have more than 10 minutes of the run time. It makes no sense as to why they’d bring up Peter’s dad in this last film, when he’s already gone through two perfectly fine. I guess it was a ‘tying everything up’ part… even though no one cared.

Lara Jean’s handwriting is surprisingly ugly for someone who’s written that many love letters. And her styling took a definite nosedive; her outfits in the first movie were so effing cute, but now they’re just… meh.

There are so many conversations and lines that the writers must’ve thought sounded good enough for someone to type out the quote in curly font and slap it on a screenshot from the movie to post on Instagram, but when it comes to the actual delivery, they just sounded… weird.

Peter says one time near the beginning of the film, “You know what I’m looking forward to the most in college? Never having to say goodnight,” because he expects him and Lara Jean to get into the same college.

But I guess the word they should’ve used was ‘good-bye’, because this just makes him sound stupid.

At one point, Lara Jean asks Kitty how much Kitty’s gonna miss her when she goes off to college, and Kitty says, “A four.” Later on, she confesses, “I’m gonna miss you a twelve, Lara Jean,” and all I could think was, “But we’re endgame, Archie!”

(In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t let people know I’ve watched Riverdale; it lessons my credibility.)

Still, there remains some good to be found: all the baked goods looked very delicious and made me crave chocolate chip cookies. Peter wearing the socks Lara Jean gifted him at the beginning of the movie was a cute gesture, and Lara Jean giving Peter her teal hatbox? The one she kept her love letters in? Was so? Cute? Help?

And hey, it’s a cliché that’s been done to death, but I’m always a sucker for that part in movies where the girl walks down the stairs in a pretty dress with her hand on the banister and the boy turns around and his mouth falls open and all he can say is, “Wow,”- and this film did not disappoint! Not to mention how cute both Lara Jean’s and Chris’s prom dresses were.

Dr. Covey and Trisha/Trina’s wedding was cute, too- I struggled to decide whether Kitty wearing a necklace that says ‘feminist’ and a tux is a bit too on-the-nose, but I’ve decided that it’s nothing to get my knickers all in a twist about (for clarification: it’s not the necklace or the crossdressing that made me debate this; I just wish they didn’t make a big deal out of it- I wish they didn’t have Kitty and Lara Jean get into an argument about her not wearing a dress, if that makes sense?).

And the final letter- the one from Peter to Lara Jean- I ate that shit up; it was so, so, so cute.

In conclusion (why is it so easy for me to crank out 3k about my thoughts on a Netflix movie and yet when it comes to English Lit. at school, I’d stare at a blank sheet of foolscap for ages?), did I enjoy the movie? Not really. There were parts of it that I liked, but it was overall too boring and I kept wishing I’d watched the new SKZ Code episode instead every few minutes.

But that doesn’t mean that it was bad. I kinda feel a little sad, actually, now that Lara Jean and Peter’s story has come to a close; To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, the first movie, is one of my favorites, and bitch though I might about them, the kinda grew on me… like an innocent plant, at first, but then like a fungus. Not a parasitic fungus, just not mutualistic, either… kind of like a commensal.

Maybe I should stop with the biology similes.

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essaysbyciara · 4 years

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Old Habits Die Hard | Part Four: Down The Stairs And To Your Left

SYNOPSIS | PART ONE: DAYS BEFORE | PART TWO: JUST BE GOOD TO ME | PART THREE: RECOGNIZE THE BUTTERFLIES

Peace!

Warnings: Lightweight mentions of sexual situations, language

A few things! Old Habits Die Hard is now on WATTPAD! If you’re more of a person that uses Wattpad to follow fanfiction, you can now follow on that platform. It’s all up to date over there. Secondly, I’m dropping off the internet grid (new year fasting, you know how it is...) from the 6th until the 26th so there will be no update until I come back (hopefully, it’ll be finished by then lol) Lastly, I love you all and I’ll see you on the flipside!

DOWN THE STAIRS AND TO YOUR LEFT

The latter parts of the day’s sunlight stream into Ariel’s bedroom and bounce off of the water-stained Word Up! posters of Mindless Behavior left hanging onto her bedroom walls. You understand why Aunt Jerri wouldn’t want to remove them; your Dad kept your B2K posters up in your room well after you left for college too. It made him feel like you never left home.

Stuffed animals mark their spot on top of the dresser and in front of the vanity mirror that’s reflecting an image of you braiding Ariel’s voluminous hair into two large french braids. It was getting too hot for her hair to live wild and free.

“I can’t believe my mom is actually hosting a party here tonight. This is not like her at all.”

“Ariel, I can’t either… she’s wildin’ tonight.” So was Yahya for that matter. His insistence on staying the night could only be explained by his desire to get a break from the hyper-emotional and high-stress world of being a civil rights attorney. He wanted to be as wild and free as Ariel’s hair that you’re trying to tame. You’re successful with Ariel. With Yahya, not so much.

Ariel grabs EcoStyler for her edges as you take a look at your phone. Dave has yet to message you again since you ignored his first message and you couldn’t help but feel a bit dismayed by his lack of a following gesture. For him to go out of his way to message you after a year of paying you no mind, you would think he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Your pride, at least, wanted a fight out of him.

“I hope this party is lowkey, Ari. I do.”

“It should be just family and maybe Mr. Jones’ family down the street.”

“I don’t think I know the Joneses like that at all.”

“One of them, this boy Pardi, is fine as shit…”

“Ari…”

You didn’t like Ari to curse even if she was old enough. “Leave those boys alone, homegirl.”

“Speaking of those Jones’ boys … that low-ass Dave’s been asking about you.”

Your emotions spike. You don’t want to show your enthusiasm for Dave’s inquiries about you but you also feigned to know how much he much he misses you and if he craved you or wanted to see you.

“Oh word?” Your poker face is ice cold. “I haven’t talked to him in a minute. He’s okay?”

“Looking real dusted, yeah. He kept asking me about you too. Got on my nerves.”

You sit on the edge of Ariel’s bed, rubbing the corners of her mattress with hands that twitch at the thought of running into Dave before your trip is over. You try your best to shrug off Ariel’s notice of Dave’s attention towards you but curiosity is starting to get the best of you. “What did you tell him?”

“Nothing. Felt like it was better to show him.”

You quickly realize how Dave found you. You wanted to make sure that Ariel wouldn’t pull such a move.

“Ariel … how did you do that?”

“Showed him a picture of you and your man.”

“Girl, no… that wasn’t your place to do that.”

Ariel shoots a puzzled look toward you and you shoot it right down. “I get it but Sis, that wasn’t the move…”

“It ain’t like Dave hit you up, right … fuck, I’m sorry.”

Ariel received -- and believed -- the farcical cliff notes of the story of how you and Dave ended. You told her that you two decided that distance and travel would be too much to continue the relationship. You didn’t want to tell her the real story: that your texts to Dave went unanswered and that when you called him, it went straight to voicemail. You even hopped on I-95 unannounced to drive up to Philly but once you were minutes away from the tolls, you bailed. All of that you couldn’t tell Ariel.

“I doubt he shows his face, Y/N. It ain’t like he knows that you’re here.”

“You sure you ain’t tell him that, Ariel? Since you showing my life off…” Your misdirected irritation toward Ariel is rearing its ugly head. You quickly reel yourself in once you see Ariel start slamming the drawers shut on her vanity. “I’m sorry, cousin. You didn’t deserve that. I know you meant well by what you…”

The faint ring of the doorbell stops your apology in its tracks. You pass a frightened look at Ariel who quickly passes it back to you. You don’t know who that could be at the door. You’re hoping -- but yet praying that it’s not-- Dave.

You run into the bathroom to straighten yourself up before parading down the steps to maybe see your impending doom for the first time in a year. You adjust your sundress to show the right amount of plump and cleavage and shift your dress to show the most thigh you could. You check your Nikes for scuffs of asphalt on the toe box. You inhale so much air into your lungs that they may explode. You exhale once you walk down the steps to see it’s just Yahya coming into the house with his hands beyond full.

Crisis averted.

“Oh you went to the good state store, Yahya. You ain’t holding anything cheap.” Aunt Jerri grabs the two bottles of Woodford Reserve from up under Yahya’s right arm, ignoring the weight of the rest of the goodies that are almost causing him to topple over. The bags of ice are set to fall until you quicken your pace down the steps to catch those bags before they hit the floor. To Yahya, you were on time.

Dave doesn’t want to be late and miss Aunt Jerri’s afterparty, his favorite black t-shirt sticking to his body like glue as the sweat pools toward the middle of his back. He cranks up his air conditioning unit to the maximum. He’s trying to not lose his cool.

Dave’s been thinking about what to say to you all day. A part of him needs to corner you and pour his heart out but he’s too much of thug for that. A part of him desires to play the corner with hopes of you making the first move. Ultimately, all of him hopes that your fiance isn’t there to fight any and all of his fantasies. He knows that he must be on his best behavior: Aunt Jerri and his Mom are close friends. There will be no corner-like-behavior up in that house.

As Dave adjusts the laces on his Nikes, his brother Pardi softly raps on Dave’s door to let him know that the family is ready to head over to Jerri’s house. Dave heaves what feels like gallons of air from his chest and proceeds to walk down the hallway towards the steps. Pardi suddenly stops Dave in his tracks, causing him to almost slip on the top step of the staircase. “Yo, nigga… what are you doing?” Pardi could smell Dave’s tense demeanor since Trace told him that you were back in town. He remembered last summer and what fits those two weeks drove Dave into: insanity.

Like Ariel, Pardi didn’t receive an honest answer about what happened between you and Dave. Dave told Pardi that you were just “a fuck” and that you just made yourself available when Dave needed you. Pardi looked squarely through Dave’s misogynistic postering bullshit to know that Dave was all the way gone when it came to you. You were the woman that paused passionate games of NBA2K when you called his phone. You were the woman who Dave would let sleep in his bed long after he left for work. He wanted you there when he finally got home. You were the woman that had Dave on a James Harden-like tear on the basketball court, showing off just for you.

Pardi called Dave a “bitch” when your phone calls and texts went unanswered and when he, Dave and their boys took a trip to party out in DC and Dave didn’t reach out to you.

Pardi can see the scared in Dave as they stand at the top of the steps. “Yo, you good?”

“Fuck you asking me if I’m good for?”

“Shorty from last summer prolly there, that’s why.”

“Nigga. I’m not even thinking about her.”

Pardi shrugs off Dave with a laugh and walks down the steps. “Yeah, aight. You buggin’...”

-----

“Oh, you trippin’! LeBron is better than Jordan!” Uncle Ro’s passionate basketball debate with Yahya is causing his rotund body to almost careen off of the couch and onto the floor. Although you hoped that the party would be small, nothing associated with your Aunt Jerri is that. She’s beloved on the block and the amount of people filtering into her home is showing you how much. Some pre-wedding donations slipped into your hand during the course of the evening, making tonight’s impending torture somehow worth it.

For a brief moment, you weren’t thinking about Dave. You were overwhelmed by the embracing of Yahya by your family -- blood and neighborhood. You almost cried when Aunt Jerri spoke about your Dad during her impromptu toast to you and Yahya’s engagement. “My brother is smiling, I know that. And that fool wouldn’t crack a smile for a damn baby. Except you. He loved you.” Those were the words you wanted to hear after a day of beating yourself up for a decision you made last summer to make some neighborhood dude named Dave a priority for two weeks all the while he seemingly made you an option.

Your current priority has been watching you filter in and out of the kitchen, grabbing drinks for your Uncles and some of the OG queens from the neighborhood. The brown and white liquor are making love inside of his body, thoughts escalating inside of his mind that would make your Reverend Uncle Ro want to perform an exorcism on him. He couldn’t wait to take you out of that sundress when you both got home. But why did it have to wait for DC?

As Yahya peels his now overheating body off the plastic-covered couch, the front door opens allowing a needed breeze to hit the living room.

But suddenly you get hot.

Although it’s been 365 days, you and Dave catch eyes quicker than an Olympic runner. It mirrors the way that you both first looked at each other last summer, a moment so intense that Aunt Jerri whispered “oh shit!” to herself as if she was watching the drama unfold on The Young & The Restless. She could tell that you and Dave were two magnets that desperately needed attachment. That’s why she told you to “have fun with that.” As he stands at the door, your eyes fixate upon his body. You forgot how sexy he was. He mimics your move, staring down your body like he would be quizzed on it. You were so beautiful. Last year’s feelings and emotions quickly replicate themselves in this moment causing Aunt Jerri to say “oh shit!”. This time most of the room heard her.

Aunt Jerri received the honest story about you and Dave’s fallout. She forgot about all that in the midst of trying to set a party off inside of her house.

Yahya sees your face and knows that something isn’t right. As he attempts to save you, Dave and his family make their way throughout the living room to greet everyone. They became the river that Yahya couldn’t cross.

“Y/N, can you grab that Grey Goose in the basement?” Trace orders, breaking you out of your Dave-induced spell. You happily oblige, needing to get away from the love of your life and the lust of your last summer standing just feet apart from his each other. Yahya finds a way around the crowd to follow you downstairs.

You find yourself leaning over the oak-colored bar while yelling internally at your chest to calm down. You fail to hear Yahya shuffle down the steps and come up to you.

“Yo, what the fuck!” You jump at the precise moment that Yahya attempts to wrap his arms around your waist. He’s never seen you this wound up or scared. It’s uncharted territory for the both of you.

“Y/N, it’s me … it’s me. Wow.”

You never went in for a hug so fast once you realize that it’s Yahya and not Dave. “Babe, I’m sorry. I’m just … I’m just really over-”

“Overwhelmed? I would be too if half the damn city just walked into the house. You know them?”

You know one of them and in ways that you would never tell Yahya. You shrug off Yahya’s question with a kiss which intensifies with every mounting second. Yahya’s lips fail to break from yours as he walks you backward, finding your backside up against the bar. His right hand eagerly climbs inside the slit of your sundress, causing you to whimper and fall even more into his arms.

“Yahya, we can’t. Not down here…”

“Is so loud up there though, They won’t hear shit…”

“Shit? You’ve been around my peoples for too long. But no, not here. Not in my Auntie’s house.” You and Dave didn’t follow such protocol last summer.

Yahya obliges. “If this is your way of punishing me for making us stay up there, I don’t like it.” Yahya playfully bites on your neck before letting you go against the wishes of your body. He’s always there to protect you and you really want to show your appreciation. As he walks up the basement steps, he’s too distracted from trying to hide what’s going on inside of his jeans that he fails to notice someone trying to open the basement door.

“Oh, my bad. I didn’t see you there.” Dave’s too on a mission to get at you that he doesn’t care to become upset at Yahya almost smacking his face with a door. Or that Yahya, the man that now has your love and attention, is standing in front of his face.

“You good. They told me to grab a bottle down there.”

“Yeah, man. The bar is down the steps and to your left. My girl is down there. She can show you where everything is...”

Taglist: @yoursoulstea @harleycativy @twistedcharismaaa @dorkskinneded @need-my-fics @ghostfacekill-monger @writerbee-ffs @chaneajoyyy @amyhennessyhouse

#yahya abdul-mateen ii x reader #yahya abdul-mateen ii #dave east #dave east fic #fanfiction #old habits die hard

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ziracona · 4 years

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What has been your favorite ilm chapter to write? Your least favorite? Do you have any interesting fun facts that were in cut pieces? I love this fic and the research put in is astounding. You put so much love into this. I'm glad to have been a reader :)

Thank you so much for asking this, and I’m really happy you have liked it! : ) Researching all kinds of wild stuff has been one of the most fun parts. (I’m holding the start of the answer to each question you asked, bc I talked about the first one for a while lol).

I do have a favourite chapter! I think to read, it would be a lot harder question, and there’d be a bunch of chapters tied, but as an author, my favourite chapter is most definitely Speak for the Dead. I have a lot of favourite moments and chapters, but that’s the one I’m most proud of. There’s a really rare thing in writing I call “script perfection,” which is not like, a perfect script in comparison to other scripts, it just means the version of the script that got shot/published was the best version of that particular script there ever could have been. It’s incredibly rare, and very hard to do. Even with films and shows I love, usually there will be seconds, sometimes minutes, off and on, that are the best version of those seconds there could have ever been. And the rest of it is great! It’s maybe the second or third or eighth-best it could have been, and that’s still super impressive--like man--eigth-best is still so close to 1st, eigth best is freaking phenomenal. It’s something to be really proud of. But that’s as high as it almost ever gets. For anything. Only extremely rarely is an entire script at 96% or above on script perfection. (I would say for reference that Galaxy Quest and The Incredibles are two such films).

It isn’t the most important part of a script or a story at all. Not by a huge amount. The quality of the story itself is. I have plenty of films that never hit 90% or above script perfection that I still prefer over films that did (like, Galaxy Quest is an amazing film, and I’m in awe that it hit that level of refinement, but I still like The Two Towers, which definitely did not, better. Because Sam’s speech at the end of it is enough to power me for a whole year). But it’s still such a rare thing. And god, it’s hard. Any kind of media is done on some kind of budget (be it financial or energy or both), and time constraint, and also it’s just not easy to do. Again, true-final-draft achievement (which is probably a better name for this bc it’s less confusing) is far from the most important or valuable aspect of a film, or play, or book, and it’s not necessary to make a story amazing. But it’s still always /so/ cool to see. It’s cool to see a nine minute continuous stretch of it even, on screen. And out of all the chapters I’ve written, the only one I think hit true-final-draft at least 96% or above, was Speak for the Dead. And that’s not embarrassing or anything. It’s wild. And I’m super proud of that. I’m proud I got even one. Because a lot of even my favourite books don’t. They just have perfected scenes, and a lot of them, but are not the best draft they could have been. Which does absolutely nothing to negate their worth as phenomenal books, but. I’m really, really proud of Speak for the Dead, and very happy with myself for having been able to do that at least once. I kind of treasure that.

It’s also a special chapter to me, because I had it only very loosely outlined/planned for at all, and it kind of came together on its own, and everything just came together and fell into place just right, and this chapter I had been really unsure of before starting turned into my favourite one in the entire fic. I like what I write, and I enjoy reading it myself, but there’s a line in Speak for the Dead where Tapp is trying to explain everything to Meg, about himself and his past and his family, and he’s been going through this like, awful mass of confusion and trauma and guilt and regret that’s all come to a head in this one day, and he’s found out who Amanda is and can’t deal with that and the person he knew, and the way Sing died, the choices she went on to make, and there’s so much even he doesn’t understand about how the world is falling apart around him, but somehow he figures it out enough to say it to Meg. And he has a line: “You’re supposed to stay late and work the extra eight hours overnight to catch the killer so somebody doesn’t die; you’re not supposed to go home to your family and give your kid a hug. It’s not as important, in an equation. It was my responsibility. And I didn’t get that the other job had its own set of rules. That the cop’s supposed to let the bus with his partner fall, but the dad’s supposed to let the fifteen people go and save his kid—he’s supposed to go running through crowded subway tunnels chased by gunmen, consequences be damned, to get them away from where his kid’s hiding. I didn’t get it. I don’t know why. I loved him right, but I didn’t act like it, because I thought I was doing the right thing. But if everybody’s just numbers, you lose anything that matters, no matter how high the numbers go up. And you don’t realize until it’s way too late that you do just as much good really helping one person you signed on to protect as you could have ever done bouncing off the lives of a hundred people who go on to be the next Jigsaw.”

And like. I fucking love that line. God. It’s such a hard thing to articulate, what he’s going through in that moment, and I try, but I think I often don’t do as good a job. But every time I read that last line it’s like a gut punch. And I really love it. How the fuck could you possibly feel after going through the experience he’s just had? It’s such a specific, indescribable kind of big, whole-world-view devestating.

There’s also a lot of really sweet moments with Meg, and Adam drugged and injured but trying really hard to help, and it’s a super understated chapter in a lot of the moments? Tapp’s one of my favourites to write, because of the way he thinks. He tries so hard to be lawful good in a world where there’s just no law at all anymore. And he’s older by far than anyone else, and thinks about the world that way. Honestly, it’s one of the most serious chapters. It’s less graphic than say Proven or The End of the Line, but it deals with some very not remotely fantastic and not pretty themes. It’s heavy. But I like the way it tells itself. I enjoy working in references when they make things fun, or better, or more meaningful, and I got to do that a lot. Plus, it gave Ace and Tapp a bunch of one-on-one time they didn’t really get on-screen as much in any of the rest of the fic, but I really loved it. The way they try to look after the people they care for, and how they understand each other. I just really fucking loved that chapter. Also, Tapp beat someone to death with a reverse bear trap that was still attached to his head so he could save Meg from dying in a way that would be super lastingly traumatic, and if that’s not the most metal thing I’ve ever heard? I really love Tapp. And I love that he sticks to the things he does. Meg never learns what Amanda was going to do to her, not in fic, not after. And Tapp does change how he does things are talking to Meg at the end of that chapter. Tapp’s the one who immediately says they can’t go public with any information on Rin until she’s passed on, even though it could really help them prove their case and hypothetically better protect the world, because he’s not willing to see a kid forced to revert to being violent and feral against her will in self-defense, or locked up in a government black site to get that. He did good. Life has not been kind to this poor man, but thankfully, Meg Thomas has.

Least favourite? Way harder. Hmmm. Always whichever one I wrote most recently 😂

In complete seriousness, I don’t think I have one? I have like 6 I consider “slightly-less-interesting” than the rest, but I don’t have one I hate period, or just dislike a lot. Uhhhh. If I had to pick one right now, I’d say Core Essentials, because I haven’t read it in over a year and don’t remember it as well as many others, and of the small number of chapters in the “Damn, been a hot minute, huh?” group, it’s the one I remember the least. This rating may change next time I actually read it, lol.

Hmmm. Interesting fun facts in cut segments. In the original draft for Shrouded, Claudette went into Philip’s basement and got a really good look at the other side of the wall, through one of the cracks, and saw the Entity and almost gave herself a panic attack. The other side of the basement wall was described as looking like the sun, like just looking at light, but only at first, and then there was movement like a snake coiling or some huge creatuer deep underwater sliding across your vision, too big to see, but alive in there in the middle of the light, and moving around, and it horrified her. It was extremely creepy but pretty cool.

The original draft for The Wraith included Philip experiencing fragmented audio memories from Signifying Nothing/his time with Vigo & co. while he was mostly unconscious. It was really cool and I forgot because I haven’t read it in forever, but it hinted at /way/ more of the plot to those past events. I really liked the draft, but ended up changing it into what was published because I’d never done anything with his memories before, and I didn’t want to disorient the reader too much (probably a good call, but it was still a neat scene in the OG form).

It’s not in the fic, but canonically, after leaving the survivors camp at the end of The Wraith, Philip came up with his plan to leave himself a message in the bell, and then called the Entity. Trying to talk his way out immediately failed, and it was shitty to him and pissed him off, and Philip had considered what might work on something like the Entity before calling it, and knew he was dead either way, so he tried to fight it. More to see if it would work than anything. He knew he would forget it even if he did, but sometimes impulses lingered, and it was possible if it worked, it would help him think of it again. He used his blood and drew a protective symbol against demons on his palm without it noticing, then rushed it, and it wasn’t scared of him so it didn’t give a fuck, but he smacked it with the charm and that actually succeeded in burning its talon (very little, but enough to cause it actual pain) and it flipped out and got extremely angry, and immediately stabbed him through the skull, which is why he returned with that chunk of his mask gone and has a scar on his forehead now. Originally, I was considering writing some of the events between The Wraith and Dawn from Philip’s POV, but decided it was much better sticking with the survivors and their uncertainty completely. Got to live in the anxiety baybeeee.

I’m sure there’s more but you activated my trap card asking about Speak for the Dead - a special interest- and I already made this long, so I should stop for now. Thank you again so much for asking! I hope my answers made sense are we’re at least kinda enjoyable to read. 💙💙💙

#ask #anonymous #in living memory #in living memory (fic)#writing #ilm spoilers #this was so fun and im glad i had an excuse to go writing meta haha. the one part of college i miss :’-)#thanks! 💙 it was really sweet. and fun to answer!#long post

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mymelancholiesblues · 5 years

Text

RE2R and Aeon “core” themes: a sort-of long ramble

So, it’s finally released! Thankfully, I was able to play RE2R since its première, and over this last weekend I was getting familiar with the entirety of the story of Leon and Claire’s new scenarios, and well, there’s a lot to be said, right?!

I’ll start with what I didn’t like so much about this game overall (and the changes in Aeon), and then proceed to what I actually enjoyed and thought were good decisions.

The most serious shortcoming of this game that prevents me from giving it an immaculate 10 out of 10 is in the issue of lack of coherence and cohesion between Leon and Claire stories. Annette and William became paradoxes in the plot when you play both scenarios and it’s visible that Leon’s storyline barely intertwines with Claire’s one. Barely.

The 2nd Run, which should serve as a complement to prevent this issue on the plot does absolutely nothing about it. Both Claire and Leon face William under identical circumstances in the Machinery Room and the Bioreactors Room, which is quite inconsistent and clearly lazy from the scriptwriting point of view.

Annette reveals to Leon what happened to William to be turned into the monster he turned into and the entire city being contaminated in the exact same manner she reveals it to Claire, with few changes here and there.

In addition to all of this – and to make it even worse, if we stop to think about it – Annette shoots Ada and then dies right afterwards in Leon’s scenario, while in Claire’s she dies helping Claire save Sherry by giving her daughter the vaccine to the G-Virus in a scene where we see the self-destruct alarm being triggered precisely because Leon just removed a G-Virus sample. How was Annette in two places at the same time? Where, exactly, does she die?

This lack of care with the Birkin couple makes room to huge plotholes, holes that were easy to avoid had they bothered to put more effort in being thoughtful over the scriptwriting of the 2nd Run, only slightly changing who is responsible for hurting Ada, which consequently makes her unable to hold onto something when the bridge starts crumbling – it could’ve been a Mr. X’s hit, for example –, amongst other things. Not to mention that in Claire’s scenario, Mr. X is brutally ripped apart by G-William, thus putting an end to his hunt. Yet, in Leon’s scenario, we see him persistent in his pursuit until the end of the game.

I didn’t like the fact that now Leon doesn’t get to be aware that it was Ada the one who threw him the Rocket Launcher. Ada helping him in this specific matter – and him being well aware of this – was a consolidated “tradition” in this franchise, it reverberates through their RE4 and RE6 cameos. They could’ve made Ada leave a lipstick kiss on the box with the Rocket Launcher if it was the case that they didn’t want the “Here! Use this!” and “Ada? Is that you? Ada!” exchange in the remake. But to completely remove the crucial element which ultimately warranted Leon’s doubt regarding her survival from Raccoon was something I didn’t like at all. On the contrary, actually.

Also: I found Sherry suggesting that Leon and Claire should adopt her at the secret ending both unnecessary and misplaced. She’s a twelve-year-old girl who’s now left as an orphan by both of her parents, having just witnessed horrible things happen – I mean, that entire sequence with Irons, for fuck’s sake... She’s in shock, and have to process a lot of stuff as well. That whole “We can have a puppy or a parrot!” thing was very out of character and implausible under those circumstances. If they wanted so much to force something between Claire and Leon there, they could’ve settled with Sherry asking them if they were boy and girlfriend and being fondly refuted by Leon’s response and then Claire’s adding that the night would’ve provided one crazy date for them if it were the case.

But oh well. Now, to the parts that I genuinely liked.

This game is goddamn awesome! Its inventory management, maps, combat system, layout expansion, enemies... oh my god. It’s a beautiful and super fun game – if not for the crap they pulled with the lack of consistency on the scriptwriting of the main characters scenarios, RE2R would have stolen RE4′s rank as my absolute favourite in this franchise.

Claire and Sherry: my two beautiful baby girls! Everything’s thoroughly built and developed in Claire’s scenario – which is why is frankly a shame that Leon’s one wasn’t written to be coherent with hers on important plot points (William and Annette, Mr. X, etc.).

I thought the changes in Claire’s personality made her more consistent to what we see of her character later in the franchise, and I’m not bothered in the least by her flirting with Leon in the occasions she does it. She is a young college girl and, according to her bios in databooks, was famously known to have had several boyfriends by then and to be a player in this department (source), and, oh well, the guy is handsome, can’t blame her for hitting on him. It’s comprehensible and plausible. Oh, and Claire being more than a bit reckless and doing things like telling Annette that actually she’s the one who’s gonna take care of monster-William: loved it. I adore my imprudent Redfield children.

I wasn’t convinced that in the secret ending – when questioned by Sherry if he and Claire were a couple – Leon was flirting, he looks more confused and embarrassed as to how he’ll answer this little girl he just met than anything. When he reunites briefly with Claire outside of the police station just after the helicopter fell down, I did saw a sparkle of flirting, though – which, for me, also makes sense with the subsequent Leon’s characterization in later instalments.

I mean, the guy made a pass on every girl he interacted with. Manuela and Helena, who are both much younger than him: actually Manuela has the same age as Sherry – both from 1986 –, and Helena is even younger than her – born in 1989 –; although later in RE6 it’s possible to argue that Leon develops some sort of paternal affection towards Helena, he unashamedly flirts with her in that scene following their escape from the university when they decide they should continue their path through the sewers, just when he helps her recover her balance after she jumps in behind him. Let’s not forget about Hunnigan, three years younger than him, and Angela, a year older. We all know that he only rejected Ashley’s pass it’s because the girl is the president-of-the-United-States fuckin’ daughter, and he wouldn’t want to mess with that.

To put it simply, the only RE girls he never hit on were the ones he never interacted on-screen or got to see as a little kid (Sherry), because, let’s be honest, the guy is a real whore. At the end of the day, however, we all know who’s the one who owns his heart and is “the part of him he can’t let go of” so I really don’t care if he flirted with someone else in this game. This still means nothing.

Even for Claire, all that flirting means nothing, who later on in this franchise gets involved with the guy she works with and doesn’t have any kind of romantic relationship confirmed with anyone else. Still can’t convince me as a better ship than the canon one for Leon. Leon is a player, and by college time, Claire was also one according to canon – plus, they were young, very pretty, both single, and were experiencing the terror of entering that hell city together, which provides solid ground for a connection – all of which doesn’t change the fact that in the years to come for the rest of this franchise they still have not interacted much after Raccoon’s incident. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now, Aeon (of course)! Buckle up because I will overanalyse the shit out of them in this.

I suspect that by now, the hate for Ada must be overflowing all over on Tumblr, discussion forums, YouTube’s video’s comments pages, everything. But I loved LOVED that RE2R made it rather difficult for those haters to just call her a cold-hearted bitch who only uses Leon. She warns Leon to just LEAVE Raccoon City as soon as he can SIX (yes, I counted) times. Six.

Do yourself a favour and get the hell out of here. (1) I told you to get out of here. (2) Find a way out. Before it’s too late (3) [...] We may not make it out. (4) It’s not too late to turn back, Leon. (5) Get yourself out of here. While you still can. (6)

Leon followed her trail around because he wanted to and not because she leads him to. Even though this is clear in RE2 OG, RE2R made it crystal. Leon’s agency on this is bluntly verbalized by him at least four times: “You’re stuck with me to the end.” (after escaping from the giant crocodile), “I'm not just going to leave you. Not like this.”, “You’re not getting rid of me that easy.” (when he finds her with a wounded leg) and “I'm not just gonna leave you here. What if you’re attacked, what if you need help—...” (right before she kisses him).

Remember what I said here? About Leon being an adult, capable of decision making and not a baby who falls victim to Ada’s shenanigans? Well, RE2R just made a statement on that. Though I doubt this will prevent the misogynist attacks Ada receives but, well, Capcom can only do so much, am I right?

you keep me up at night to my messages, you do not reply you know I still like you the most the best of the best and the worst of the worst well, you can never know the places that I go I still like you the most you'll always be my favorite ghost

(Big God – Florence + the Machine)

I was always bothered somehow by the fact that Darkside Chronicles added Claire meeting Ada as well in that night in Raccoon City. I’ll explain: I enjoy the concept, the imagery, of only Leon being able to connect a person to a name when it comes to Ada Wong – aside from, hum, Ashley, who barely gets to see her face (“so... who’s that woman, anyway?”), and Helena, who serves to Leon’s narrative as some sort of “heir” (just like RE6 wanted to do this with Chris and Piers, it implies it with Leon and Helena’s bond, after all Leon is also getting too old to star in more games in this franchise without it getting ridiculous). Chris doesn’t count here because, y’know, that whole Carla crap, not the real Ada.

Anyway, RE2R retcons Darkside Chronicles, thank god, and goes even further: putting Annette as well in the dark over Ada’s identity. She suspects Ada is a mercenary, like all the others who were attempting to steal the G-Virus up till then. Leon remains the one who connects “Ada Wong” to a character, to a face. She’s not only his guardian angel but his own personal ghost.

I love this because, in Ada’s RE3 epilogue, she mentions saying goodbye to that name... but if we stop to think about it, the only important person to her that crossed her path and knows her by this identity is Leon. This is super meaningful and beautiful, I really love it. That whole thing of Ada appearing in the shadows twice to save and alert him in RE2R that prompts him to repeat the line “Who is that?” and the “Somebody’s watching me...” one after Leon faces William in the Machinery Room contributes as well to this thematic imagery.

It gives me the feeling that, if nothing else, Capcom knows what they’re doing with this ship. They know the recurring themes, the essence of their dynamics, visual references and all. And, speaking of visual references: did you know that that whole Ada��s trench coat and sunglasses look is a direct reference to Chungking Express? A movie in which a police officer falls in love with a mysterious woman involved with the underworld crime? Yeah. There’s that.

Still on the recurring themes point, though, I can’t forget to add that Ada’s line “This is getting old... Saving your ass— that’s twice.” and Leon’s “Hey, you can't keep walking away from me!”, “Y’know. We make a good team [...]” and “I can't believe I actually miss her...” were fantastic touches, because, as I said here, they have their status quo, don’t they? Again: She keeps helping him. They team up and make a good team whey they do it. They part ways. Normal her, normal them. One and a half decade later they’re still on that. That’s why Ada’s “Watch out for yourself.” (answering Leon’s warn on Deborah “Watch out, you two! She's strong!”) and “Hm. The more things change, the more they stay the same.” (when Leon asks for help) lines in RE6 couldn’t be more adequate.

Oh, what about Leon’s “You protected me. Now it's my turn.” and Ada’s “We’ll call it even.” in the RE2R? Hahaha, oh poor sweet summer-children. I love, LOVE this sort-of hybrid between call-back (because we, as an audience already know what will happen to them later in the plot) and foreshadowing (but they don’t, so those lines serves as this too).

And Leon wasn’t being cold when he threw away Umbrella’s wristlet. That gift connects to a part of Ada that hurts him. This actually resonates with their exchange in RE6, when she throws him a mysterious ring (“Here.” “A ring?” “Don't get the wrong idea. It'll make sense later.” “Ok.”). He doesn’t know the nature of her true intentions, her true goals. He’s always kept in the dark over this matter, so it makes sense for him to throw the wristlet away, but say that he misses her. The subtext here is clear: despite having mixed-feelings over Ada’s true alliance and role in all that’s been happening in his life, he still misses her the most. His “recurring element of personal need” that, at the same time, he “distrusts because it goes against everything he believes and stands for”, as Matthew Mercer has put it.

siempre que te pregunto que, cuándo, cómo y dónde tú siempre me respondes quizás, quizás, quizás y así pasan los días y yo desesperando y tú, tú contestando quizás, quizás, quizás

(Quizás, Quizás, Quizás – Gaby Moreno)

Let’s talk about the flirting text, sexual innuendo subtext and overall romantic dynamics RE2R presents for them. From Ada’s pulling her arm away from his touch, to her whimpering “Where's Leon when I need him...?” when she’s hurt. The change in which Ada goes through in this game concerning precisely her relationship with the rookie police officer she just met feels more organic and believable than in RE2 OG – despite my love for the original instalment, Ada rarely flashes personality there, so I’ll have to concede that it’s really harder for the broader audience to empathize with her.

This RE2R Ada, however, starts melting when Leon blurts out his motives for joining the force after seeing Kendo having to deal with his little daughter clearly going through the zombifying process. Even though Kendo just pointed a gun to his head, Leon sympathizes with the guy “[…] Helping people like them… that’s why I joined the force.”

When Ada answers him in this scene, she’s not lying. We have solid proof given by the development of the entirety of this franchise’s plot to believe that she really is in fact, as Project Umbrella puts it in her profile, “acting secretly in the background of many biohazard incidents and collecting information which becomes useful to several organizations, while at the same time operating to undermine them”.

Sure, Ada does hides more than a few of her cards and makes use of half-truths a lot, but by this point, we know that her moral alignment is closer to that of the good guys than to the villains. Capcom chose Ada to be a Chinese character, and reciprocity is very important in Chinese culture. Check it out:

[...] Hence, the Confucian view of relationships is highly reciprocal. There is a Chinese concept that highlights this notion of reciprocity: bao. According to Yang (1957), bao (or pao in the original text) has a wide range of meanings, including “to report”, “to respond”, “to repay”, and “to retaliate”. Yang explains: “The center of this area of meanings is response or return which has served as a basis for social relations in China. The Chinese believe that reciprocity of actions (favor and hatred, reward and punishment) between man and man, and indeed between men and supernatural things, should be as certain as a cause-and-effect relationship, and, therefore, when a Chinese acts, he normally anticipates a response or return. Favors done for others are often considered to what may be termed “social investments”, for which handsome returns are expected.” There are many Chinese sayings that concern the meaning of reciprocity - for example, Ni jing wo yi chi, wo jing ni yi zhang (“If you honor me a foot, I shall honor you 10 feet in return”). Another - li shang wang lai - translate as (a) “courtesy demands reciprocity” and (b) “deal with a man as he deals with you” or “pay a man back in his own coin” (A Modern Chinese-English Dictionary, 1994, p. 543). (Chinese Business Negotiating Style, Tony Fang, 1997, p. 116-117)

So, the “We’ll call it even.” line carries more layers than one to its meaning.

By the way, Capcom choosing to change how she reacts to him being shot by Annette was lovable! She patches up the injury in his shoulder and leaves her trench coat over him. She's already so in love, haha.

Leon, on the other end, starts falling in love when she saves him again – this time from Mr. X –, in the parking garage; the “I didn't realize you were keeping score.” (that’ll be later echoed by Ada’s own “Didn't realize we were keeping score...”, thrown back at him when he categorically tells her that it’s his turn to help her because she protected him) line, accompanied by his little smirk, exposes him to us, the audience. And the way his face lightens up with a huge smile in reaction to seeing her only pressing a button to explode an entire police truck in Mr. X's face seals the deal.

The “No chance. You’re stuck with me to the end.” line, that’ll come soon later, in the sewers, is just symptomatic. The guy’s hooked and don’t even bother to hide it, almost begging to touch her or be closer to her in any way he can: like it wasn’t enough grabbing her thigh to help with her injury, he also immediately suggests being nearer her trying the “Grab my shoulder!” offer (to which Ada’s reply “Don't push it, rookie.” and Leon’s coy “Yes ma’am.” only further clarifies to us that their physical intimacy is escalating quickly but she’s still a bit reluctant to it).

Leon soothes a bit his flirting advances when Ada complains about her injured leg (“Urgh... this damn leg...”), his “Let me carry you—” is gentler, and more sincerely concerned. No second intentions there, and that’s why Ada refuses softly by saying “No. That'd only make me feel worse.” just right before asking him “How's the shoulder?” The guy took a bullet for her! And now’s offering to carry her. In addition to feeling vulnerable, she feels horrible about herself. I also liked how Leon chooses to be sincere with his “Worse than it looks.” answer, getting the “What a pair. Both got one foot in the grave.” response line from her. It gets me emotional somehow. These two idiots, offering to help each other even while sustaining grave injuries themselves.

I never felt that the kiss in the RE2 OG was forced. But RE2R surely reconstructs the scene to be more organic and satisfying to their blossoming relationship. The fact that the kiss takes place in the same sequence that these lines: Ada’s “Once we get the G-Virus, I'm back on my own.” (again, symbolising the recurring themes between Leon and Ada, after all, her job creates an unbearable divisive line between them). And she inquiring him with the “Hey, Leon... Trust me?” to which he retorts with a “You trust me?” and is answered back with the most sincere I’ve seen from Ada in all of this franchise: “Honestly... If I didn’t, you’d probably be dead.” She's being so candid here. Her walls are down.

After she kisses him and puts a hand on his knee, the “I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. I gotta see this through... and I want to see you again. I got plenty to live for. Trust me.” line is also a result of her defrosting process for and because of him. She has to fulfil her mission but she did fell in love with him. So, when she says “Leon... I’m counting on you.”, it IS supposed to hurt us. Leon’s “I know.” too. Because we know that what is waiting for them isn’t a happy and peaceful resolution. Not there and then, at least, in that 1998’s September rainy night in Raccoon City. Maybe in a distant future, but not now.

We know that RE4 intensifies the sexual tension surrounding the two of them because they never did get a chance to resolve it in the following six years after 1998. Leon obsesses with trying to find out if she’s indeed alive and Ada doesn’t try to reach out, probably making an effort herself to move on while giving him his space to do it as well. So, the innuendo in RE4 is also amplified. We get lines such as “Need a ride, handsome?!” and Leon getting a full close look at her thigh and ass when she abruptly stops the boat they’re in because he’s fidgeting too much while staring at her face. Ada even seems convinced that Leon is going to kiss her at one point (when he’s being controlled by Las Plagas), raising her hand softly to touch his face and leaning her head in.

The promise of resolution and “settling” – if only in the circumstances they are in, choosing to accept and adapt to them, comes with RE:Damnation and RE6. “Only” 15 years later.

all your lies are spinning round my head and all, all this line of sorrow, ooh, yeah ooooh, yeah all your lies are spinning round my head and all, all this line of sorrow, ooh, yeah ooooh and I will, I I ohh, ohh and I will, oh, only for you and I just don't know what to do, my head has such a cloudy view I'm so tired, of trying, ooh ooh ooh

(Only For You – Heartless Bastards)

Lastly, I’d like to share my two cents on their confrontation in RE2R and the first of their many separations. Remember I said those last lines in the turntable tram hurt? We can see Leon’s heart shrinking when Annette cynically points out her thoughts on Ada.

Again, like in RE6, their facial expressions in this sequence are key. When Ada shows up at the Main Shaft, she looks worried, anxious. Everything’s falling apart, her time is running out, she still hasn’t got her hands at the G sample, her leg hurts like hell and Leon is taking forever (did something happen with him?). When Leon breaks the silence in this chaotic setting with his “I was just thinking about you.”, Ada isn’t lying when answering “That makes two of us. I was getting worried.” It’s written all over her face, imprinted in her body-language. She’s verging on despair.

After zigzaing around the matter for a bit, Leon finally sums up the nerve to directly touch the subject that is truly bothering him: his conversation with Annette and Ada’s lie about being a FBI agent. Upon Leon’s refusal to hand her the sample, Ada reveals this little “facial tic”, in which she ‘squeezes’ her left eye when pressed to say/do something she seems uncomfortable or doesn’t completely agree with – like exposing herself, emotionally. It’s subtle, but it’s there. She’ll do it again when challenged to shoot him later. The following exchange, with hers “Oh, Leon... Why couldn't you just hand over the sample?” delivered like a lament, is retorted with Leon’s “Because I realized, as much as I wanted to trust you... I didn't.” Shit son, developers KNOW what they’re doing. Isn’t this Leon’s entire issue with his love for her in a nutshell?

Ada’s tone still resonates with a lot of grief when she confesses that she “[…] really hoped it wouldn't end up like this.”, it kinda evokes the “I really wanted to escape with you... escape from everything.” line in RE2 OG but without being so mushy (Jake Peralta’s voice: I love it). Leon maintains his urgency for an explanation, however, and when he asks “So that’s all this was... I was just some pawn to you?”, it’s a plea. Was Annette right then? Tagging along with her was a terrible mistake on his end? Saving her was a mistake? What about falling in love with her – what now? All he wanted in this goddamn night was to do his job and help someone. Save someone. And he fell in love in the middle of the way. With a possible moral antagonist to all he stands for in his line of duty – oh, the tragic irony.

Let us not forget that now CANONICALLY they just spent hours together – in the launch trailer, Capcom suggest that they’re walking together out of the RPD parking garage by 21:03 pm and it’s 4:51 am when Leon uses the herbicide to kill Plant 43 (as seen in the ‘Byron Cartwright's Inbox’ file); considering that to take the G-sample and the confrontation with Annette (and then William) took at least another hour, Leon’s been with Ada for almost eight hours, just like I deduced by RE2 OG info.

Capcom absolutely kills me with the next part in Leon and Ada’s final scene: “Look, I am just doing my job.” and “And I'm doing mine, so drop that damn gun! I'm taking you in.” OH MY GOD ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEEEEEEEE

THIS IS LEON AND ADA’S RELATIONSHIP BACKBONE

THE DIVISIVE, BITTERSWEET LINE SEPARATING THEM: THEIR JOBS. GOD, I LOVE THIS. AMEN

(Sorry… they’re my babies, I love them so much).

Ada pushes back, recollecting herself and demands: “Hand over the sample, Leon.” just to melt again while adding “I don't wanna hurt you.” to complete her line. And well, Leon goes and kill all of us, doesn’t he? Ada, us fans, everyone, defying her to pull the trigger: “Then you shoot me, but I don't think you can.”

Well, he’s right. Six years later, in RE4, there’s a lot of unresolved resentment for him to toss that one again when she points a gun to the back of his head (it makes sense – great job, Capcom! – it’s been a long time, he can’t know for sure if her feelings for him remain, if she’ll be compassionate this time). But there, in Raccoon, she didn’t disappear for six years with him having everything to believe that she died all the while hoping that she didn’t… yet. So he does it, he defies her to shoot.

And of course, she doesn’t. He looks so, so happy for this tiny, tiny sec before Annette shoots Ada. Oh, Annette. For a moment there, Leon looked quite hopeful this wouldn’t end in a heartbreak. But everything starts falling. Ada too. The way she exhales his name and how Leon is the desperate one now. Like he’s finally aware that even though he might have suspended time for a while (ignoring it), stolen a few minutes, it’s over now.

It’s all so… visceral? Heart-wrenching? I don’t know. His “Hold on... I think I can... Agh! Shit!” while doing his hardest to not let go of her, and when she says “Forget it.” how he immediately responds with “Shut up— I've got you.” I got you. When I first watched this cutscene I teared up when Leon said this. He’s so in love. Failing to save her here is going to leave him traumatized, scarring him forever. It goes on: Ada’s “It's not worth it.” and Leon’s plea “Don't do this...”.

All of those lines are essentially them throughout this franchise. Ada thinking that he should move on, forget her because “it’s not worth it” – they can’t be together, not in the conventional style, so why should he bother with her? But Leon never did, did he? He’s always pleading for her to come back, to not leave, to not let go.

Her final wish, “Take care of yourself, Leon.” before Leon loses strength to hold her any longer, and Leon’s loud “NO!” together with his expression, the way he lingers, the music. It’s all so, so well done, so beautiful.

RE2R follows RE2 OG, RE4, RE:Damnation and RE6 example: making us spoiled Aeon shippers. Thanks Capcom, in 17 years of shipping them, you guys never disappointed me. Whatever RE8 holds for us in the future, this was a satisfying ride: I’m happy with Leon and Ada’s resolution in RE6 as I previously said in another meta. I sure as hell won’t complain if we get more, but damn, this ship – together with Cloud and Tifa from FFVII – shaped my views on love, devotion, attraction – and for that I’m more than grateful.

#Aeon #Leon x Ada #Ada x Leon #Ada Wong #Leon Kennedy #Leon S Kennedy #Leon Scott Kennedy #OTP: like a part of me I can't let go #[meta]#[mine]#//#long post #Aeon fandom #Aeon metas

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thoughtfulpaperback · 4 years

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Skin and beauty standards.

Yall I want to discuss this because I feel like have been seeing this discussion a lot lately and actually had a pretty sad and eye opening discussion with my sister and friend.

So I want to start off saying that I am a light skinned Latina. My sister and friend are morena. Dark, very dark. Not black. But deep tan and caramel colored. And I have always told them I thought they were beautiful and that it sucks that cultural and broader societal beauty standards make them feel uncomfortable about thier color.

But my friend when I said this recently, sort of called me out (she has been having a hard time) and said that while it's nice that I say that it seems sort of hypocritical when I, who am already light skinned, do what I can to make my self lighter.

At first I was like super confused like ...."I dont try to make myself look lighter."

But then as we discussed it I realized "whole crap I didnt realize I was doing these things"

Examples

I use foundation one two two shades lighter than what either I have been matched or people say I match to (within reason I am not trying to look like a ghost) And say things like "do I look orange, or like too dark?" And in my mind I think I do look orange or unnaturally dark (not "attractive" latina tan but like obviously not this skin tone) even when people say it seems like a perfect match.

I have really dark brown hair, pretty much black, but when I can i prefer to dye my hair pitch black. I always liked it But everyone said it paled me out, but I liked it and have been wanting to do it again.

Now I argued with my friend and later sister as I discussed this discussion, that I mean I just like the way I look when I do these things and it didnt have anything to do with disliking darker skin tones.

But they pointed out, and I get it now, that the point isnt that it is a preference, but why it is and the fact I have the skin tone to get away with it.

As my sister said, "if I tried a foundation that was slightly lighter it would be obvious and most of the time I dont really have options. I have to really work for a shade that matches and you get to pick from all these shades and they more or less dont look bad or obvious unless we see you all the time."

My friend said "like I know you dont think dark skin is bad looking and you are supportive but like when you worry about looking too dark when you are like a light tan it kinda makes me feel a bit crappy"

Obviously. I mean I dont think there is anything wrong with my skin tone. But I didnt ever think about why I prefer some things or how my preference may be interpreted. I dont see my make up preferences or hair color preferences changing but I am definitely gonna pay more attention to what I say.

Not a gran epiphany I mean I recognize I have certain privileges like the variety of foundation shades and the relative ease of shade finding, and not having to hear people say things relatively negative about my color. But am for sure gonna be more aware of my own actions and words too.

EDIT:

Just want to elaborate because someone messaged me about this (probably a troll and personally I dont know how trolls find things that arent tagged or why a troll would follow me. I assume that must be the reason they say it).

I dont white face. That's not a thing.I am not saying that I do not like the color of my skin. Or that I am a dark skinned person. I would call myself white if my white friends and family didnt get uppity about it. I would never call myself dark because my very dark indigenous looking friends and family are dark and I wouldnt dare compare.

Just to further explain. I was born very white

This is baby me. No I am not a boy. They made me the devil because they thought it would be funny to make the dog the angel. But the dog destroyed its wings and they werent gonna buy either of us new costumes so the dog got a wraped in left over material

Anyways that white baby gradually turned into a very orangey looking kid. I was really self conscious about that. Not the looking less white part, but the orange part. My siblings and darker looking side of the family arent orangy. Although they say I am not, I look at the photos and see orange.

Eventually because of puberty I went from an oompa lompa kid to a just lightly orange tinted high school kid (I am not wearing foundation in the photo below also this wasnt a high school pick but college but my skin has stayed the same since then)

The next photos are of me when I wear foundation. Yes I drag foundation down to my chest...dont judge.

There isnt that much of a difference. The point of this post isnt that I dont like dark skin or I prefer lighter skin or that I pale myself out completely to look lighter. The point is about vocabulary. the terms lighter and dark white and dark arent accurate here but I use them. When I am matched to foundations I am matched to peachy undertones for medium skin. What I usually end up preferring are shades in the light to mediums with neutral undertones.

In the first picture (I was in college) the shade is tarte amazonian clay 29H for light to medium skin with peachy undertones. When I was in high school I was matched with 35N for medium/neutral skin, but I thought it was too dark for me (like actually dark not orangey). Just so you know this was a little before matching with the computer machine thingy was around, when I first was matched that meant the ladies sat me down and just slatheredy face with different swatches the foundation until they saw one that they thought looked good. Freshman or sophomore year of college I was matched to that shade (35n) with the new fangled match technology but told the ladies I didnt like that shade and found it too dark so they told me to go a step down that foundation ladder- which makes me wonder if the sephora people actually knew what they were doing- which is how I ended up wearing the 29H. I didnt like the 29H so I went with the 27n i believe which is the second photo. The third is fenty beauty shade 260 for medium skin/neutral undertones and the fourth (my favorite and most recent foundation) is fenty beauty 230 for light to medium skin/neutral undertones.

But again the point being that when comparing the difference isnt extremely different. I havent changed race or been attempting to. The issue is that my vocab and the way I can easily just explore and play with shades and undertones are things that trigger my darker friends and family. I don't complain about my skin tone (although I did so in this post), but when I use the term dark instead of orange it makes them uncomfortable and I never noticed. I never thought about how they must feel when we go into sephora and ulta and I spend a while trying to decide which shade I PREFER while they struggle to find a shade that actually matches. I knew that they struggled but not how my experience may actually add to that anxiety.

This isnt a #whitepeople problems this is a #holy crap I didnt realize that the things I do might be hurting someone

When I og wrote above the edit that I dont plan on changing my foundation or hair preferences that wasnt me saying, "I dont care if it makes you uncomfortable I'm gonna do what i want!" I do plan on watching and changing the words I use. I will try to avoid saying things like "is this too dark?" Or "I don't like that foundation shade because it makes me look dark or too dark." I'll try to be accurate, " I think the shade undertone is off with this one." Or "I prefer neutral undertones rather than peachy or warm undertones.

Also if this doesnt make you realize the privilege of being light complexed WTF is wrong with you? I am able to wear numerous shades in one brand and there are people who cant even find one that matches well when looking at multiple brands.

Also as mentioned in a different post, I am light and rarely see people who look like me in novelas (as non help or poor characters ) so if that doesnt scream something to you about the extreme colorism or preference for more european looking features in latin america ya must be not hearing well.

#skin #privledge

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poetspade45-blog · 5 years

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THE ANGELENO’S GUIDE TO MEXICO CITY

If you were to ask me what my favorite city in the world was – besides, LA, of course – Mexico City would be somewhere in my top 3 choices. I have always loved visiting Mexico, but Mexico City is on a whole other level of culture, fun, and beauty. The Mexico most of us are familiar with are the typical beachside towns, where you hardly even get to experience the actual towns outside what ever resort you might be enjoying. Mexico City is bustling, it’s sprawling, it’s eclectic and its popularity amongst travelers only seems to be growing. It may be another big city – in fact, it’s the largest city in the world – but there is absolutely no where on earth quite like it in my opinion.

I cannot tell you how many friends I have that unanimously didn’t just enjoy Mexico City, they loved it. Friends of all types from all backgrounds. I honestly thought that there was absolutely no way this city could possibly live up to all of these insane expectations, but alas, they did. And then some. I am not a paid Visit Mexico spokesperson, but I will say with complete confidence that if you go to Mexico City – and you do it right – you will without a doubt fall in love. (And it wont even cost you that much!)

I did my fair share of research before my recent trip to Mexico City, I have had several friends go before me who gave me the full rundown. If you’re looking to visit Mexico City soon, here’s what you need to know:

EAT

Contramar

Arguably my personal favorite restaurant we went to in Mexico City – a very likely story it turns out. Contramar is known for its incredible seafood spread (think ceviche, fresh grilled fish, etc) and their primo people watching scene at lunch time. You cannot visit Mexico City and not go to Contramar – I demand it. Make sure you make a reservation and make sure you order the tuna tostadas!

Máximo Bistro

Another restaurant that came highly recommended was Maximo Bistro Local. They’re open for lunch and dinner and from what I’ve heard you’re fine either way you choose. I happened to go for lunch (couldn’t get a dinner reservation in time) and it was everything everyone said it would be. Did I know it had a lot of Italian influence, nope, did it make it that much more fun and interesting, yep. Their known for their ox tail gnocchi – split at your own risk because it really is that good.

Pujol

YES! I can now say I’ve been to one of the top restaurants in the world! Pujol is the crown jewel of Mexico City. Chef Enrique Olivera truly helped put Mexico City on the map in terms of the city being a desitination for distinct food and dining. So as you can imagine, Pujol is realatvely difficult to get into. Most people book quite far in advance. Sometimes you get lucky like we did but it’s definitely advised to book as far in advance as possible. Pujol is an absolutely stunning space, the experience is as you’d expect – different and incredibly special – the staff is out of this world, and it truly exemplifies and amplifies fine Mexican cuisine. I will say, Pujol is as expensive as you’d imagine it to be so come prepared for that.

Lorea

Lorea was our first dining experience in Mexico City and it completely set the tone for the rest of our trip. Mexico City is quickly becoming one of the top dining destinations in the world and restaurants like Lorea truly put it on the map in terms of fine dining. Fine dining in Mexico City is a trip though, Lorea for example offers a 14 course tasting menu at just $70 per person. If you’re a foodie traveling on a budget, your one splurge should be Lorea. You’ll never forget it.

Taqueria El Califa

Did someone say tacos? Finally? Yes. If you are in the mood for tacos and a sit down restaurant type of situation, El Califa is your destination. Not only is it your destination, it will also totally blow your mind. I think I ate about 8 tacos that night and I regret nothing. They are open all day long but their late night scene seems to be where it’s at. The one thing absolutely worth trying here are their “costras” – which are like tacos but the tortilla part is made of cheese… #mindblown. And I’ll just let you in on a little secret, the best tres leches cake I’ve ever had in my life is at Califa. It was also my favorite treat I had in Mexico City period – I said it!

La Capital

For Mexico City being a city of late diners, a lot of the restaurants close surprisingly early! La Capital was somewhat a happy accident while we were trying to find a restaurant open past 10pm, but it ended up being quite a number of our favorite restaurants in the end. La Capital is a great “happy medium” restaurant – it’s not too fancy, not too casual, but the food and the ambiance is absolutely fantastic. They offer truly incredible and what you’d think of as “authentic” Mexican food, so if that might what you’re looking for, you’ve found it.

El Moro Churreria

Is it really a trip to Mexico if you dont eat a churro? El Moro isn’t just any churreria though, it’s the OG of churrerias. They’ve been dusting delicious carb sticks with cinnamon and sugar since 1935, and today they have 9 locations all over the city. I visited the location at the Mercado Roma, which is a fun place to go for all kinds of things, it reminded me a lot of the Grand Central Market. But it’s better because… churros. Duh.

El Cardenal

This is the only restaurant on my list that I sadly did not have the time to go to but want to recommend regardless. I have a few friends who cannot visit Mexico City without having a traditional Mexican breakfast from El Cardenal. When I requested something that had some history, something that had stood the test of time and was still beloved by all, El Cardenal was always the answer. I cant wait to go myself on my next trip, but if a big Mexican breakfast speaks to you, white table cloths and all, please try El Cardenal (and tell me what you think!).

OTHER RECS: Yuban, Lardo, Rosetta, Zoku, Lalo!, Quintonil, Casa Virgina, Tori Tori, La Docena, Huset, Mero Toro, Bravo Lonchería, Dulce Patria, Azul Historico,

DRINK

King Cole Bar

King Cole Bar to my delight was located inside of our hotel, the St Regis. Much like its New York City counterpart, the King Cole Bar is an absolutely stunning work of beauty, style, and class. We were at this bar more than I’d like to recount – shout out to Alejandro and Pepe – but it’s because it was consistently fantastic. Definitely the local meeting place for big timers, I fit right in obviously, but not at all intimidating or unwelcoming. The opposite in fact. Ain’t nothing wrong with a classy joint here and there, especially one with indoor/outdoor seating, great cocktails, live music, and decor fit for royalty.

La Azotea De Barrio Alameda

This place was recommended to me by a new friend on Instagram who’d been kind enough to message me her Mexico City favorites. She lives there after all so she was definitely one to be trusted. La Azotea is located in Centro, and is just a 5 minute walk from big sites to see such as the Palacio de Bellas Artes. Climb about 100 steps (which is like 300 steps at sea level) to the rooftop to find an absolute GEM of a little hangout – fresh air, views, cocktails, delicious food, friendly faces and all. My friend instructed me to order a Carajillo and if you’re like me and love a good espresso martini when desperate times call for desperate measures… then you are going to love a Carajillo.

Fifty Mils Four Seasons

If you thought the King Cole Bar at the St Regis sounded bougie, Fifty Mils at the Four Seasons might have them beat there. Between the absolutely stunning courtyard setting, the fancy “a-la Four Seasons” cocktails, and the fitted waitstaff, it’s definitely an experience. And I was so here for a bougie moment – and a solid Instagram post of course.

Condesa DF

Who doesnt love a good rooftop situation right? Located in the heart of Condesa, CodesaDF is one of the areas most popular boutique hotels. Their rooftop is open to the public and definitely caters towards the young more hip crowds. So naturally I went, and naturally I loved it. If it’s a nice day or night out, stop in – it’s usually open.

Hanky Panky

Per my previous confession about basically never leaving the King Cole Bar… I dissappointingly did not make it to a number of bars I had intended to visit. Hanky Panky being one of them. I cannot speak from personal experience but I can say with quite a bit of confidence that this bar IS an experience. First off, you have to have a reservation – it’s that kind of bar. Secondly, it’s a speakeasy. Lastly, it sounds so “LA” it hurts my feelings I cannot wait to come back and see what this place is up to.

La Clandestina

I am a huge fan of Mezcal, in fact it is easily my spirit of choice. La Clandestina was another bar that came highly recommended that I regrettably did not get to, but I am told if you too are a fan of Mezcal then this is one place on earth you need to experience to confirm your appreciation for the beverage.

Loup Bar

For my fellow wine lovers… meet Loup Bar. Loup Bar is known for their incredible list of natural wines, as well as for their great food menu to pair. You know I will travel for wine and food, so Loup came highly recommended by several friends; I love that this a more low key yet chic spot. A great place to go when you’d love a glass of wine with a side of warm and cozy ambiance.

OTHER RECS: El Bosforo, La Lavanderia, Limantour, Pata Negra, Cicatriz, Gin Gin, Felina Bar, Aurora, Xaman, Baltro, La Ópera,

Lucha Libre

What about men in fringe, tight pants, and colorful masks doesn’t already sound appetizing as hell? Throw in spotlights, a hugely enthusiastic crowd, cheap cold beer, tacos, and you’ve got yourself a night at LUCHA LIBRE! I am not kidding you when I say Friday night Lucha Libre was my favorite part of the entire trip, and arguably one of the best nights of my whole life. Take that and do what you will.

Xochimilco

I honestly barley know how to begin trying to explain the experience that is Xochimilco. It’s hands down one of the wildest, strangest, most unique experiences I think I’ve had in all my 30 years. What I want to say wont really make sense, but Xohchimilco doesn’t really make sense either, so here goes nothing. Xochimilco is a place you go *with a group* to float down canals on very colorful gondolas that are all packed like sardines on the water where there is zero traffic regulation, there is a lot of booze, there are mariachis on boats for hire, delicious food and trinkets on boats for buying, and a lot of other strange yet entertaining activity. Here’s the deal. It was cool… but it was wild. If you’ve got kids, or if you’re just a couple without a guide, I actually would not recommend Xochimilco. But if you’ve got a group, or a friend/trusted individual who knows the ropes, DO IT. Be careful, I would personally hire a driver to get you there and back (it’s about 45 minutes outside the city center), don’t be an idiot and you’ll have an absolute blast.

Chapultapec Park

Unsurprisingly so, Chapultapec Park is one of the largest city parks in the world. Really though – this park is never ending and it’s absolutely GORGEOUS! Chapultapec Park is very central, and the best of what it has to offer – including the Chapultapec Castle and the Museum of Anthropology – are very easy to access. Besides museums and the castle, Chapultapec Park includes a zoo, botanical gardens, walking trails, vendors, several man-made lakes with pedal boats, and so much more. You could spend a whole day strolling through these gorgeous grounds, and so you should – with some stops along the way.

Castillo de Chapultapec

One of those stops should definitely be the stunning site that was once the home to Mexico’s one-time emperor, Maximilian. Chapultapec Castle, now the Natural Museum of History, overlooks the entire city below and it’s an absolutely fascinating and beautiful place to visit. It’ll take you a minute to hike up the hillside, and you will run out of breath thanks to that altitude, but boy is it worth it! (It’s also not literally a hike, it’s a walk uphill, it just seems to go on for forever when you’re out of breath.)

Museo Nacional de Antropología

If you have an interest in learning about the history of pre-hispanic Mexico (Aztec, Mayan, etc) the Museo Anthropolgia is an absolute must. We spent hours walking through each time period if you will, looking at pieces of history you can hardly fathom being as ancient and beautiful as they are. This was one of my personal favorite parts of the trip, so if you have time on your walk through the Chapultapec Park, stop in at the museum.

Mercado de Artesanías la Ciudadela

There are a couple of amazing Mercados to visit in Mexico City, but the one we ended up visiting was Mercado de Artesanías la Ciudadela – a market known for it’s more locally crafted and more traditional goods. They offer all kinds of Oaxacan textiles, blankets, silver, jewelry, bags, leather, housewares – anything “Mexico” you can think of they have. I have to admit, I typically hate the idea of “things” or “trinkets” but this market was incredible! I ended up with some beautifully embroidered bags, and so wished I’d had enough room in my suitcase for some of the glassware and housewares. Next trip.

Palacio de Bellas Artes

Whilst meandering through Historico Centro you will find it damn near impossible not to run into the massive architectural masterpiece that is the Palacio de Bellas Artes. It’s here inside the marbles walls that you will find gorgeous and expansive murals from several artists including Diego Rivera, David Alfaro Siqueiros, and Rufino Tamayo. Wether it’s a new exhibit, a concert, or an event, there is always something fun and interesting happening here.

Teotihuacan

Want to see those mysterious pyramids you learned about at the Museo Anthropolgia IRL? You can! Teotihuacan is admittedly a pretty far drive outside the city center (about an hour), but it’s another absolute “must” according to most if not all who have visited. This was another spot I didn’t personally make it out to this trip, but I am told it’s worth noting to go early in the morning while the sun isn’t too hot and the tourists are at a minimum.

Museo Frida Kahlo

The Frida Kahlo Museum is kind of a non-negotiable. It’s a completely one-of-a-kind experience, and I promise you will be glad and grateful to have gone. The Frida Kahlo Museum, aka Casa Azul, was Frida’s beloved home for twenty years. Located in the colorful and charming neighborhood of Coyoacan, you immediately get a sense of the appeal. When Frida passed away, Diego Rivera donated her house to the government and turned it into a museum. The home has been in the exact condition she left it in since the 50’s, and it’s a surreal thing to experience in person. I personally loved seeing her clothes that were put on display (that were just discovered in an untouched room in 2004!), and how so many designers today are still inspired by her stunning style.

OTHER RECS: Museo Soumaya, Museo Tamayo, Museo Franz Mayer, Palacio Nacional, Museo Jumex, Casa Barragan, Museo del Tequila y Mezcal,

STAY

St. Regis

Just going to call it like it is, the St Regis Mexico City is the best hotel I’ve ever stayed at. The truth is I probably wouldn’t be able to afford a stay at a St Regis in most cities, but in Mexico City rates at this property start as low as $269 a night. For the St Regis. If you want to do a bougie hotel stay, with unparalleled service and accommodations, stay with the St Regis.

Hotel La Valise

Hotel La Valise is THE hip/chic/expensive spot to stay in Mexico City. They have a very popular property in Tulum as well, and their Mexico City location is just as stunning. It’s also located in a great part of town that is accessible to fun restaurants and areas to walk.

Hotel Condesa DF

Hotel Condesa DF is one of the best boutique hotels is one of the best parts of town – Condesa. I have had a few friends stay here who loved it, plus their rooftop – as mentioned – was one of my favorite stops on the trip.

Four Seasons

The Four Seasons Mexico City has a similar story to the St Regis; if you want to do a bougie stay, this is another great option to consider. Especially if like me, there’s no way in hell you’d be able to afford a Four Seasons vacation anywhere else. Why not do it in Mexico City!

OTHER RECS: Hotel Carlota, Four Points Roma, Roma MX, Hippodrome, Downtown Mexico, Casa Nuevo 120, Los Alcobas, Hotel Habita, Camino Real

TIPS

consider taking a street food tour! I’m actually quite sad I didn’t go on one myself, as the street food was the one thing I feel like I missed out on, but you’ve gotta have something to go back for right? My friends recommended this one to me: Club Tengo Hambre

prepare for the high altitude. Mexico City is about 7500 ft above sea level, and it can affect you if you’re not used to it like most us Angelenos!

take Ubers! For convenience, safety and reliability reasons.

get money from a bank ATM for a lower exchange rate. Most people/places will take American dollars, but try not to use them if you can avoid it. Pesos or credit cards are definitely best.

if you plan on visiting the Frida Kahlo museum and you want to take photos, be sure to purchase a photo pass in the coat check room! This is not advertised, but it’s available and it is affordable. Als0 – buy your tickets online ahead of time, save yourself the time you’d have to wait in line.

there are two airports in Mexico City, make sure you remember that when scheduling your flights and pickups/dropoffs

getting reservations at the popular Mexico City restaurants like Pujol, Maximo Bistro, Quintonil, Contramar, Rosetta, etc are difficult on short notice. Try to book the ones you really want to go to as far in advance as possible. This can be done directly on their respective websites, and you have the option to waitlist should your first choice not be immediately available.

lastly… don’t try to do too much. Pick 1-2 “must-see’s” a day, let the rest fall into place, and enjoy yourself!

Source: http://loveandloathingla.com/2018/10/angelenos-guide-mexico-city/

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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blissfulalchemist · 3 years

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My Tumblr Lore

I was tagged by @consumedkings and @strafethesesinners Thank you both so much!

1: Why did you choose your url?

Well I got back into my Vampire Academy/Bloodlines bus and I wanted to have my url reflect FC5 and that because I was writing for them primarily. And I ended up with this url. Which has become my favorite url and makes me wanna change my personal blog one.

2: Any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

This is one of 3! side blogs that I have. My personal and prime is 1love1hope and I got into writing again and didn’t want it to get lost in the everything soup so I made this one! I also have another that holds my first ever url and has become a screaming void and a place where I’m testing out new pages and things since I don’t particularly care what happens on that blog. The last one is my newest one, I thought I was going to start writing for the CW/Arrowverse fandom and wanted to keep that separate but I decided no, but didn’t want to lose the posts so I just left it and I can obsess on there and not just my personal anymore.

3: How long have you been on tumblr?

I have been here for 9 years now! I was a junior in high school and a friend said I should and I started the new year with a blog! I’m not even joking I started it on Jan. 1st 2012.

4: Do you have a queue tag?

Not really. I have a queue because I kept hitting post limit (Yeah that’s a thing still) and so I “reblog” it there so I can stop that. I don’t have a specific tag for it so its just a guessing game really! I’m really just lazy and don’t want to add another tag. I will also sometimes schedule things for the morning or when I’ll be at work but that’s about it.

5: Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I explained it up there but basically I wanted to share my writing and I didn’t want it to get lost so I made this one! But this feels like a main now since I have more interactions on this one.

6: Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

My Tia. My love! I am just still enamored with this piece I got for her and It looks so cool I just I love her. @fadedjacket did such an amazing job!

7: Why did you choose your header?

It’s a piece from @minilev that I had waited for so long to get it. It’s Cat and @belorage’s Raf from our little shared verse. I just love it so much still.

8: What’s your post with the most notes?

In terms of original posts (Things that originated from my blog) it’s the first Cat and John piece I got that is also from @fadedjacket with the Chance and Faith piece done by @redreart coming in at a close second. Now I didn’t post it myself but a commission of Cat and Faith done by the wonderful @lobanhart has the most notes I believe.

9: How many mutuals do you have?

Uhm I don’t know really. I don’t think a ton but I can be wrong.

10: How many followers do you have?

204! Thank you all so much!

11: How many people do you follow?

384.....Some I have because despite not being active I may just come back to them for stuff they posted. I don’t really unfollow unless i have too.

12: Have you ever made a shitpost?

Probably. I mean have you seen my 2am thought pieces? I make so little sense.

13: How often do you use tumblr each day?

All day everyday! It’s my primary social media and I have it on my phone and I have no life so I have waaayyy too much time.

14: Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

Uhm I don’t think so??? I don’t really vibe with that kind of stuff and just leave things be unless I have to just unfollow. Its too much work.

15: How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I have been here so long I don’t feel as much guilt as I used too. Sometimes I do reblog them but It kind of makes it hard to do so when that’s something prevalent in the post itself.

16: Do you like tag games?

I do! I don’t always get a chance to do them but I love seeing what people put out there!

17: Do you like ask games?

Yes! They are a nice break from just writing all the time and some of them are very interesting questions. I also never mind doing the same questions from long ago for the OG ocs as they have grown a lot from last year.

18: Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I want to say that they all are! Every single one of them! I am a recluse that has wears if you interact with me a few times.

19: Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I love all my mutuals and followers with my heart! There are the ones that have been here from the start that deserves shout outs because I like saying how much they mean to me as friends: @belorage (We’ve been here the same time and it still boggles my mind), @faithchel (So wonderful and funny you are just !!!), @tomexraider (God! You are so much fun to be around and have made me laugh about things that still come to mind now and then!), @strafethesesinners (You were one of the first people that I spoke to and I still stand by my first message that you are one of the funniest people with your tags! they are classics!), @consumedkings (We are newly friends but I love you and you are so very kind to me). I love all though okay!

20: Tags

I think this made the rounds and I am very late. So I will be leaving this blank. But feel free to tag me! I like learning about people!

#tag games #about me #this was a lot oh my goodness have fun learning about me

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ethelbertpaul444-blog · 6 years

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Nicki Minaj and the Abusive Stan Culture Epidemic: Where Do I Draw the Line?

We have went to do something about the stans. At their most benign, they’re ruffling. Their hyper-devotion can reach them insufferable little adherents to whatever or whomever it is they fawn over, be it their favorite preserving creator or a movie right they’ve been immersed in since they were aged sufficient to zip up their Yoda pajamas. But the most difficult various kinds of stans swing their fandom like a sword, ready to cut down anyone that sweeps their fave. It doesn’t matter if an external infidel has besmirched the name of their elected deity or if some unworthy dreg is subverting their beloved institution from the inside–the stans will swarm and sting, and you will feel every bit of their ire. Of track , nothing of this is news. Much has been written about internet bother, stan culture and how they affirm a certain harmful socialization that’s occurred online. It’s a odious combination of wish-fulfillment and syndicate mentality that had now become normalized after years of watching it devolve into the kind of digital blood athletic that leads to celebs or those who have flouted against a celeb having to leave social media absolutely. The ultra-devoted fanbase has been around for decades, but in the age of social media it’s mustered into something much more aggressive and abusive than a teen idol fanclub of yesteryear. The most obvious recent example came politenes of Nicki Minaj, her cadre of superfans (” The Barbz “) and a Toronto freelance journalist who dared express their views about a popular master. Pop culture scribe Wanna Thompson became unintentionally prominent in July when she tweeted out a essay of Nicki Minaj’s contentious antics in the lead-up to the superstar’s again-delayed album Queen . ” You know how narcotic it would be if Nicki bring out ripen material ?” predicted the tweet from Thompson.” No dazed shit. Just wondering on past relationships, has become a boss, afflictions, etc. She’s touching 40 soon, a brand-new direction is required .” Nicki apparently appreciated the tweet, took special exception to being referred to as” stroking 40 ,” and launched into an acidic denunciation over what was fairly innocuous evaluation. Thompson would subsequently screenshot a direct message she received from an indignant Nicki Minaj. ” When ya ugly ass was 24 u were propagandizing 30? I’m 34. I’m touching 40? Lol. And what does that is therefore necessary to do with my music? Eat a dick u hating ass hoe ,” Minaj DM’d Thompson on Twitter.” Got the gut to have a trini pennant on ur sheet. You must not have heard the Pinkprint. Or lozenges n tonics, Bed of lies, save me, my recent peculiarity with Alicia keys, Tasha cobbs. Just say u resentful I’m rich, acclaimed rational, moderately and start! But wait! Leave my pellets! Tired of u sucking them .” Once Thompson announced the screenshotted send, Nicki’s swarm jumped. They provoked Thompson across every social media platform, and even texted her cellphone. They encountered Instagram pictures of her daughter. Thompson lost an internship for a music blog and numerous targeted the paw at Minaj. Meanwhile, her superfans assaulted the 26 -year old in every digital platform they could occupy. ” Hello, unemployed gloom skin pitch-black guttersnipe bitch ,” read one e-mail from a fan designated as willam daish to be submitted to Thompson.” Why is it that it’s always the dark bitches that are so jealous and full of bitterness. I anticipate the only solution for you is to kill yourself. You are too poisonous for the world and for your child .” In a recent Rolling Stone story about The Barbz, a Nicki superfan identfied as “Ayan” acknowledges that this kind of over-the-top piety can go too far–but seemed fluffy on just where the line is: ” Where do I draw the line? I signify, extinction is certainly a little bit too far. I feel like that is a little bit more far. However, I likewise have that devil’s advocates mindset where the line is never more far for the person that is coming at the personality. Why is it that when the fan of that notoriety is reacting that the line is becoming too far? I tend not to touch on category either, fatality and all that kinda nonsense, but I can definitely receive where they are are coming from when they do touch on those things, because everyone has their different boiling point and is it OK? No. Do I understand where the hatred is coming from? Most surely .” This kind of hyper-defensiveness isn’t limited to pop wizards. There is a same allegiance presented to popular recreation symbols of all kinds. Granted, the spirit behind the opposition of those movie/ comic book/ video game fanbases is less about protecting the beloved practice from detractors, and more about harassing anyone allowed to join the hallowed franchise’s family tree–especially if the outsider is non-white and/ or female. In June, it was reported that Star Wars actress Kelly Marie Tran, who plays Rose Tico in The Last-place Jedi , deleted her social media chronicles following months of online persecution from the franchise’s more obsessive and abusive followers. The backlash stimulated Nerds of Color to mobilize for Tran at Comic Con in San Diego. When the brand-new trailer for the upcoming Teen Titans movie debuted at Comic-Con in late July, actress Anna Diop was the target of an ugly prejudiced resentment online from a host of Teen Titans devotees. Diop was subjected to malevolent statements on Instagram and ongoing harassment on Twitter. She addressed the comments via a now-deleted Instagram post: ” Too often social media is abused by some who find refuge in the obscurity and withdrawal it plies: misused as a tool to persecute, defamation, and spew hatred at others. This is weak, terrible, and a direct reflection of the abuser. Racist, derogatory, and/ or callous commentaries have nothing to do with the person on the receiving tip of that ill-treatment .” It’s become increasingly outraging to witness as it thrives more permeating by the day. The teen hotshots of a live-action Kim Possible reboot were persecuted for not according the cartoon personas’ physical dimensions to some supporters’ penchant. Future’s “FutureHive” once was believed to have spoofed the domain to onetime competitive rapper OG Maco’s site. And every week a new “stanbase” is going to great lengths on social media( and beyond) to raze some perceived “threat” online. So what do we do about the stans? Your guess is as good as excavation. “Stanbases” have become the most difficult various kinds of internet subculture over its first year. Kudos to those co-stars, producers and purveyors who won’t allow their colleagues to be targeted by the nasty and anonymous online. In the case of aces like Nicki, loudly and consistently denouncing online provocation would go a long way toward at least describing a line for the persons who come at your uber-famous feet. Recognizing that not every critic is your person foe and no longer fanning the flames with hypersensitive overreactions wouldn’t hurt, either. But ultimately, this is about people taking some broth of themselves and their behavior. We all enjoy what we love. But going to campaign over it with strangers–especially with the force of an continual online provocation expedition is currently conducting en masse — impels you an obsessive abuser who maybe should be swiped with a restraining order. You’re a digital stalker in the name of celebrity. And that’s a nice fucking pathetic concept to be. Read more: https :// www.thedailybeast.com/ nicki-minaj-and-the-abusive-stan-culture-epidemic-where-do-i-draw-the-line http://dailybuzznetwork.com/index.php/2018/09/15/nicki-minaj-and-the-abusive-stan-culture-epidemic-where-do-i-draw-the-line/

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blockheadbrands · 6 years

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5 Cannabis Growers Who Changed the Game

David Bienenstock of Leafly Reports:

It’s almost impossible to get famous for growing cannabis.

With the notable exception of certain harvest competitions and Cannabis Cups, there currently exists little by way of public acclaim for those who cultivate the world’s finest examples of the plant—a most regrettable oversight that exists in large part due to the forced anonymity of prohibition. But also because most of the scant attention that does exist in this realm has been lavished upon cannabis breeders, who cross one strain with another to create entirely new varietals. Some of these go on to become household names (at least in households with a bong in them).

RELATED STORY 5 Cannabis Breeders Who Have Changed the World of Modern Cannabis

So, whether you visit a dispensary or buy from an underground dealer, it’s far more likely that you know what strain you’re puffing on (OG Kush or Sour Diesel) than who put the seeds in the ground, or nursed a cutting to maturity. Similarly, you’ll likely know if the apple you’re about to make into a pie (or a pipe) is a Golden Delicious or a Fuji, but you probably wouldn’t know who farmed the orchard.

The difference between growing really good cannabis and growing award-winning cannabis is a devotion of time and attention to detail that only very rarely gets properly rewarded. Though it should.

How do I know for sure that cannabis consumers are overly obsessed with strains, and don’t think enough about growers? Because when I tell people I write about weed for a living, one of the first things they ask is my favorite strain. Nobody ever asks my favorite grower.

But will it always be this way? Maybe not.

Think about wine, where we’re typically given both data points—the varietal of grape and the winemaker. Those who shop primarily based on price will either look for a cheap Merlot or Chardonnay or simply pick “red” or “white,” regardless of where or how the grapes were grown and processed. Meanwhile, those who base their decision on quality or value will consider both varietal and vineyard. That’s why two different bottles that both hold 750ml of wine made from the same type of grape in the same year and with nearly identical alcohol potency can sell for anywhere from $3 to $300 or more.

RELATED STORY Only the Best: Royal Tree Gardens Is Growing Some of Washington’s Finest Bud

Growing the finest cannabis on earth has never been about the money. Sure, everybody loves to be well-compensated for their labor, but the truth is that the difference between growing really good cannabis and growing award-winning cannabis is a devotion of time and attention to detail that only very rarely gets properly rewarded. Though it should. As should the accomplishments of all cannabis growers, whether legal or underground, who ply their trade honorably, and to the highest standards—particularly the rare few who come along to change the game.

The Inventor of Sinsemilla

Shot by Julia Sumpter for Leafly at From The Soil Farms

Spanish for “without seeds,” the word sinsemilla refers to a process by which growers remove all male plants from the garden as early as possible, leaving only female plants behind to fully mature. This serves two functions: first, only female cannabis flowers produce resin sufficiently high in THC to be worth smoking; and second, they stop producing resin as soon as they’re pollinated by a male plant. So removing the male plants means more space for prized females, and that those females will go unpollinated so they can produce the most resin possible, without producing any seeds.

In North America, this practice became widespread in the 1970s. Cannabis smokers long accustomed to spending considerable time pulling all of the seeds out of their stash quickly grew accustomed to a higher quality, higher potency, seed-free experience with sinsemilla.

RELATED STORY Male vs. Female Cannabis: How to Determine the Sex of Your Plant

As the name implies, popular lore attributes this game-changing breakthrough to an unknown grower at work in the vast sativa fields of Mexico, while others claim that some Humboldt County hermit developed the technique. But leading cannabis researcher and journalist Fred Gardner says both those theories ignore compelling evidence that “seedless” growing is far older than all that.

“Northern California growers may claim to have ‘invented’ sinsemilla,” Gardner wrote in Counterpunch, “but old photos of fields in India and Morocco—any place where cannabis has been grown traditionally—depict big, fat colas, meaning the growers knew to pull the males and let the female flowers put out maximum resin.”

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“I thought I was getting in on the ground floor. Turns out I got in on the underground floor, but I don’t regret it at all.”

George Van Patten (a.k.a. “Jorge Cervantes”)

Full disclosure: I directed all three installments of Jorge Cervantes Ultimate Grow—a series of instructional videos that we had a really, really good time making.

Since 1983, George Van Patten (writing under the pen name Jorge Cervantes) has sold over one million self-published cannabis cultivation books, providing solid information and detailed instructions to countless growers around the world, who’ve in turn provided the rest of us with an unquantifiable amount of really high grade cannabis. He’s also a guy who clearly loves both cannabis and those who grow it.

“Why have one of those regular jobs—and hate it—when you can garden instead, growing this wonderful plant that you love?”

Jorge Cervantes

In fact, the earliest iteration of Van Patten’s “grow bible” had its roots in his own carefully collected field notes, based on his many years as an underground grower in Mexico and Southern California. After photocopying those detailed notes and sharing them many, many times with fellow cultivators, he finally printed up a small batch of self-published books to save himself the trouble of making copies only to find he had a perennial bestseller on his hands.

“I got into this because I find growing cannabis exciting, and I just didn’t fit in doing anything else,” he told me once in an interview. “So why have one of those regular jobs—and hate it—when you can garden instead, growing this wonderful plant that you love? Also, back in the late 1970s, I thought I was getting in on the ground floor before it got legal. Turns out I got in on the underground floor, but I don’t regret it at all.”

RELATED STORY How to Grow Organic Cannabis at Home

Even as the popular conception of cannabis cultivation has shifted to large, professionally operated production facilities, Van Patten continues to focus on those cultivating in a backyard, basement, or small plot—whether hoping to grow their own medicine, make ends meet, pay off the mortgage, put the kids through school, or even rebuild their lives after an arrest for cannabis has made it hard to find work in the aboveground economy. At cannabis conferences and festivals around the world, grateful growers line up for long stretches to thank him for helping them avoid that “regular job.”

Mahmoud ElSohly

The only location in the United States that’s ever been federally licensed by the DEA to grow cannabis is a 12-acre farm and indoor cultivation facility at the University of Mississippi. First opened in 1968, and overseen since its inception by the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), the fully-legal operation primarily supplies cannabis to federally approved research studies, with “a typical outdoor growing season yielding over 1,100 pounds of plant material, while an indoor season yields about 22 pounds.”

“It didn’t even resemble cannabis,” according to Sisley, who had the samples lab tested and found that some had high levels of mold or trace levels of lead.

In the past, NIDA had been notorious for refusing this monopolized supply to any study seeking to explore the plant’s potential medicinal benefits, while wholly supporting poorly designed studies seeking to exaggerate its harms. Researchers unsuccessfully battled the DEA for decades in hopes of ending this NIDA blockade.

Meanwhile, in 1978, the Ole Miss farm expanded its mission by beginning to supply free medical cannabis to individual patients who qualified under something called the Compassionate Investigational New Drug program. The tightly controlled federal program peaked at just thirty members before being disbanded in 1992 under political pressure from the George H.W. Bush Administration. Those few patients already enrolled, however, were grandfathered in, and at least four of them continue to get monthly shipments to this day.

Irv Rosenthal, a stockbroker living in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, has been receiving a tin with 300 pre-rolled joints every month for long enough to have smoked well over 130,000 of them. He never comments on the quality, probably to spare the feelings of Mahmoud ElSohly, a professor of pharmaceutics and head of the University of Mississippi cannabis facility since 1980.

RELATED STORY Here’s Why the DEA Will Never Reschedule Cannabis

Asked what’s changed most during his time as America’s only fully legal grower, ElSohly told STAT news, basically, that he’s had to up his grow game along with everyone else.

“In the early days, I think the maximum potency that we were producing was in the 3 or 4 percent THC range. It was because of demand from researchers and because it was consistent with what was on the streets at the time.

Lately, because some investigators wanted to get material with much higher potency, we started producing material that had 8 percent THC. The investigators administered that to subjects in a clinical trial and the most experienced subjects could not tolerate it. They called and said, ‘This is too strong.’ And I said, ‘We know that, but that’s what you requested.’”

ElSohly takes a combative tone throughout the interview, complaining that the research community looks at him “like the enemy,” and “badmouths” his work.

Case in point, in 2017, Dr. Sue Sisley, head of a landmark study of cannabis as a treatment for 76 military veterans suffering from chronic post-traumatic stress disorder, went public with complaints about the quality of cannabis ElSohly and the Ole Miss facility provided for her study.

RELATED STORY Photos Prove Government-Grown Cannabis Is Basically Ditch Weed

“It didn’t even resemble cannabis,” according to Sisley, who had the samples lab tested and found that some had high levels of mold or trace levels of lead, while others diverged significantly from their promised potency. One sample that Ole Miss labeled 13% THC re-tested at only 8%.

And yet they remain the nation’s sole supplier of research cannabis. In 2016, the DEA did begin taking applications for additional bulk growing licenses, theoretically ending the monopoly on supply. But so far, despite receiving at least 16 applications, none have been approved.

Ed Rosenthal

(Courtesy of Ed Rosenthal)

From its first issue in 1974, High Times magazine featured Ed Rosenthal’s coverage of cannabis cultivation, with a special focus on the increasing number of people choosing to grow their own for the first time. Instantly, his advice column—“Ask Ed: Your Marijuana Questions Answered”—made him one of the very few recognized experts on a subject that would remain largely sub rosa for the next forty years.

The column remains in print today, and Rosenthal has founded Quick Trading Publishing to put out his own books and the writings of an impressive roster of fellow cannabis authors and researchers. He’s also been a tireless advocate and activist for the cause of medical cannabis and legalization.

RELATED STORY 5 Reasons Why You Should Consider Growing Your Own Cannabis

In 1999, Rosenthal’s adopted home of Oakland, California appointed him an “Officer of the City” and tasked him with cultivating cannabis to supply local medical patients. Three years later, the federal government raided his city-supported grow operation and arrested him. At trial, Rosenthal and his lawyer were barred from mentioning that he was growing for medical patients, or that he did so at the City of Oakland’s request.

After voting to convict, several jurors later denounced the verdict when they learned the circumstances.

According to a New York Times account of the case, Rosenthal “faced a possible sentence of 100 years in prison and a potential fine of $4.5 million,” but U.S. District Court Judge Charles Breyer sentenced him to just one day in prison. Rosenthal appealed anyway, and in 2006, the 9th Circuit Appeals Court subsequently overturned his criminal conviction.

Next time you hear someone talk about how entrepreneurs, politicians, or investors are leading the charge towards legalization, remember than none of this would be possible without the campaign of civil disobedience.

A few months later, however, the U.S. Attorney’s Office re-indicted him, even though the judge in the case had publicly vowed not to add any more prison time than the one day already served. Again barred from mentioning medical cannabis or Oakland’s tacit approval of his grow operation, a new jury convicted Rosenthal, and true to his word, the judge added no new prison time.

But the Feds did succeed in sending a warning to every other medical cannabis grower stating that state law would not stop the Department of Justice or the DEA from banging down your door. Nevertheless, growers persisted.

So next time you hear someone talk about how entrepreneurs, politicians, or investors are leading the charge towards legalization, remember than none of this would be remotely possible without the incredible and sustained campaign of civil disobedience against these terrible laws spearheaded by the world’s underground cannabis cultivators—who vowed to “Overgrow the Government” and succeeded.

RELATED STORY 6 Cannabis Dispensaries That Changed the Game

Professor Afghani

If not for cannabis prohibition, the idea of growing cannabis indoors would likely never have occurred to anyone. Why spend the time and money necessary to recreate the plant’s natural environment if you’re not actively trying to avoid detection? Or, put another way, have you ever heard of winemakers growing indoor grapes or brewers growing indoor hops?

The earliest systems for indoor growing reflected this pioneering DIY spirit, with plants remaining in soil, hand watered, under janky lights that had been repurposed from other uses.

Without any clear models to follow, the first generation of indoor growers not only had to adjust to life without the sun (or wind, or rain), they had to pretty much invent ways to replace them through trial and error. The earliest systems for indoor growing reflected this pioneering DIY spirit, with plants remaining in soil, hand watered, under janky lights that had been repurposed from other uses. The cannabis emanating from such ad-hoc setups was notoriously sparse and uninspiring.

The move to more sophisticated hydroponics systems in the 1970s was a cultivation game changer all its own, but with the history of “soil-less” agriculture actually dating back to the storied Hanging Gardens of Babylon, and many of the modern advances in the field made by NASA scientists, it’s kind of hard to find a cannabis grower to pin the medal on. So let’s fast forward to 1996, and the publication in High Times of a landmark article called “The Million Dollar Growroom.”

RELATED STORY What Is Hydroponics? An Overview of Soilless Growing

“In this well-ordered garden, row upon row of buds were planted in rockwool cubes over slabs in trays containing nutrient solution, which dripped back down into the reservoirs,” reports Danny Danko, the magazine’s current cultivation editor. “This was not some closet grow with a couple of buckets of smelly dirt, but a laboratory setup capable of real production. Professor Afghani’s straight-forward article is a step-by-step review of the basics—from starting mother plants and rooting clones to irrigating the flower room and utilizing ventilation and CO2 enrichment to harvest over a million dollars’ worth of pot in a single year.”

Professor Afghani never revealed his true identity, even to his editors, but he cared passionately about sharing his hard-fought wisdom on cannabis cultivation with the world. By bringing indoor growing to a new level of sophistication and efficiency, he most certainly changed the game.

TO READ MORE OF THIS ARTICLE ON LEAFLY, CLICK HERE.

https://www.leafly.com/news/growing/five-weed-growers-who-changed-the-game

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ethelbertpaul444-blog · 6 years

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Nicki Minaj and the Abusive Stan Culture Epidemic: Where Do I Draw the Line?

We have went to do something about the stans.

At their most benign, they’re ruffling. Their hyper-devotion can reach them insufferable little adherents to whatever or whomever it is they fawn over, be it their favorite preserving creator or a movie right they’ve been immersed in since they were aged sufficient to zip up their Yoda pajamas. But the most difficult various kinds of stans swing their fandom like a sword, ready to cut down anyone that sweeps their fave. It doesn’t matter if an external infidel has besmirched the name of their elected deity or if some unworthy dreg is subverting their beloved institution from the inside–the stans will swarm and sting, and you will feel every bit of their ire.

Of track , nothing of this is news. Much has been written about internet bother, stan culture and how they affirm a certain harmful socialization that’s occurred online. It’s a odious combination of wish-fulfillment and syndicate mentality that had now become normalized after years of watching it devolve into the kind of digital blood athletic that leads to celebs or those who have flouted against a celeb having to leave social media absolutely. The ultra-devoted fanbase has been around for decades, but in the age of social media it’s mustered into something much more aggressive and abusive than a teen idol fanclub of yesteryear. The most obvious recent example came politenes of Nicki Minaj, her cadre of superfans (” The Barbz “) and a Toronto freelance journalist who dared express their views about a popular master.

Pop culture scribe Wanna Thompson became unintentionally prominent in July when she tweeted out a essay of Nicki Minaj’s contentious antics in the lead-up to the superstar’s again-delayed album Queen .

” You know how narcotic it would be if Nicki bring out ripen material ?” predicted the tweet from Thompson.” No dazed shit. Just wondering on past relationships, has become a boss, afflictions, etc. She’s touching 40 soon, a brand-new direction is required .”

Nicki apparently appreciated the tweet, took special exception to being referred to as” stroking 40 ,” and launched into an acidic denunciation over what was fairly innocuous evaluation. Thompson would subsequently screenshot a direct message she received from an indignant Nicki Minaj.

” When ya ugly ass was 24 u were propagandizing 30? I’m 34. I’m touching 40? Lol. And what does that is therefore necessary to do with my music? Eat a dick u hating ass hoe ,” Minaj DM’d Thompson on Twitter.” Got the gut to have a trini pennant on ur sheet. You must not have heard the Pinkprint. Or lozenges n tonics, Bed of lies, save me, my recent peculiarity with Alicia keys, Tasha cobbs. Just say u resentful I’m rich, acclaimed rational, moderately and start! But wait! Leave my pellets! Tired of u sucking them .”

Once Thompson announced the screenshotted send, Nicki’s swarm jumped. They provoked Thompson across every social media platform, and even texted her cellphone. They encountered Instagram pictures of her daughter. Thompson lost an internship for a music blog and numerous targeted the paw at Minaj. Meanwhile, her superfans assaulted the 26 -year old in every digital platform they could occupy.

” Hello, unemployed gloom skin pitch-black guttersnipe bitch ,” read one e-mail from a fan designated as willam daish to be submitted to Thompson.” Why is it that it’s always the dark bitches that are so jealous and full of bitterness. I anticipate the only solution for you is to kill yourself. You are too poisonous for the world and for your child .”

In a recent Rolling Stone story about The Barbz, a Nicki superfan identfied as “Ayan” acknowledges that this kind of over-the-top piety can go too far–but seemed fluffy on just where the line is:

” Where do I draw the line? I signify, extinction is certainly a little bit too far. I feel like that is a little bit more far. However, I likewise have that devil’s advocates mindset where the line is never more far for the person that is coming at the personality. Why is it that when the fan of that notoriety is reacting that the line is becoming too far? I tend not to touch on category either, fatality and all that kinda nonsense, but I can definitely receive where they are are coming from when they do touch on those things, because everyone has their different boiling point and is it OK? No. Do I understand where the hatred is coming from? Most surely .”

This kind of hyper-defensiveness isn’t limited to pop wizards. There is a same allegiance presented to popular recreation symbols of all kinds. Granted, the spirit behind the opposition of those movie/ comic book/ video game fanbases is less about protecting the beloved practice from detractors, and more about harassing anyone allowed to join the hallowed franchise’s family tree–especially if the outsider is non-white and/ or female.

In June, it was reported that Star Wars actress Kelly Marie Tran, who plays Rose Tico in The Last-place Jedi , deleted her social media chronicles following months of online persecution from the franchise’s more obsessive and abusive followers. The backlash stimulated Nerds of Color to mobilize for Tran at Comic Con in San Diego. When the brand-new trailer for the upcoming Teen Titans movie debuted at Comic-Con in late July, actress Anna Diop was the target of an ugly prejudiced resentment online from a host of Teen Titans devotees. Diop was subjected to malevolent statements on Instagram and ongoing harassment on Twitter. She addressed the comments via a now-deleted Instagram post:

” Too often social media is abused by some who find refuge in the obscurity and withdrawal it plies: misused as a tool to persecute, defamation, and spew hatred at others. This is weak, terrible, and a direct reflection of the abuser. Racist, derogatory, and/ or callous commentaries have nothing to do with the person on the receiving tip of that ill-treatment .”

It’s become increasingly outraging to witness as it thrives more permeating by the day. The teen hotshots of a live-action Kim Possible reboot were persecuted for not according the cartoon personas’ physical dimensions to some supporters’ penchant. Future’s “FutureHive” once was believed to have spoofed the domain to onetime competitive rapper OG Maco’s site. And every week a new “stanbase” is going to great lengths on social media( and beyond) to raze some perceived “threat” online.

So what do we do about the stans? Your guess is as good as excavation. “Stanbases” have become the most difficult various kinds of internet subculture over its first year. Kudos to those co-stars, producers and purveyors who won’t allow their colleagues to be targeted by the nasty and anonymous online. In the case of aces like Nicki, loudly and consistently denouncing online provocation would go a long way toward at least describing a line for the persons who come at your uber-famous feet. Recognizing that not every critic is your person foe and no longer fanning the flames with hypersensitive overreactions wouldn’t hurt, either. But ultimately, this is about people taking some broth of themselves and their behavior. We all enjoy what we love. But going to campaign over it with strangers–especially with the force of an continual online provocation expedition is currently conducting en masse — impels you an obsessive abuser who maybe should be swiped with a restraining order. You’re a digital stalker in the name of celebrity. And that’s a nice fucking pathetic concept to be.

Read more: https :// www.thedailybeast.com/ nicki-minaj-and-the-abusive-stan-culture-epidemic-where-do-i-draw-the-line

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