Tumgik
#the shame
hel7l7 · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
I can't tell you how bad it gets
2K notes · View notes
chirpsythismorning · 8 months
Text
Mike's character regression can be explained in large part by one emotion in particular: guilt
Just want to preface this by saying that, this is not Mike slander. I love this dude. In fact, I think what makes Mike such an interesting character is that a lot of his behavior throughout the series can be explained in part by previous moments, and after really looking at all these moments together, what you end up with is a pretty fucked up story.
So while some might want to take this as Mike slander, these points I'm making are a part of Mike and things he has done and said and whether they were intentionally harmful or not, it's Mike. It's all shaped him and his role in the story. The fact that we're seeing a visible shift in his behavior at all, with plenty of moments from the show to back up what brought us here, makes it compelling enough to talk about.
So, without further ado, back to our roots:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Ah yes, the infamous canon proof disputing Mike's I think my life started that day we found you in the woods, claim during his monologue. Not only that, but in this original scene from 1x02, it turns out Mike actually intended to send her away the next day (all of which El could hear Mike saying from the open bathroom door).
Tumblr media
Mike outright calling El a weapon, again telling the others they need her because they stand no chance at getting Will back otherwise.
I wont elaborate on this now, because there is way too much to unpack that'll honestly be more worthwhile discussing further on.
For now, this is a secret tool that will help us later.
These next couple scenes right here though, are pretty painful if I'm being completely honest. The way its shot, specifically El's very visible exhaustion, accompanied by the varying priorities of others around her, leaves me feeling pretty unsettled upon rewatches.
I obviously can't remember how I felt when I watched these scenes for the first time, but I imagine I viewed them as this huge romantic moment for Mike and El (I was tricked by heteronormativity, okay?). But, again, upon rewatching them since then, I've realized I get this sort of sad feeling by the end. You'll see what I mean.
El obviously just went through something extremely traumatic. She tried to go find Will and Barb in the void, only to find Barb dead and Will presumably alive, but then slipping through her fingers at the last second (no, literally).
We then got a moment where Joyce held El while the others sat by quietly because she clearly needed a moment of comfort given what she just endured.
Then in this scene shortly after, everyone is leaving to get ready for their final attempt at saving Will.
Tumblr media
Now, notice how not only Lucas, but also Dustin make the effort to reach out to El to comfort her affectionately after that traumatic event, with those twos' actions specifically being showcased in sequence?
Lucas, who spent the better part of the season being critical of El, is now ending the season rubbing El's shoulder to warm her up, literally soothing her to make her feel better.
Then there's Dustin, who right after Lucas' gesture makes a gesture of his own, putting his hand on her knee reassuringly, to show her he's there and he's happy she's okay.
And lastly there's Mike, who is so kindly allowing El to rest her head on his shoulder. This placement of Mike and El here is definitely a testament to the fact that Mike has vouched for El this whole time in contrast to the others and so, understandably, she put her head on his shoulder for reassurance, because out of the three of them, he's the one whose been looking out for her the most. (Right?)
Now you might be thinking that this sequence's only purpose was to show Lucas and Dustin's development with El, and that it wasn't intentional that they focused on Lucas and Dustins' priorities in this moment in contrast to Mikes'. And I raise you, this next scene.
Tumblr media
Here we have a focus on Mike looking on to where everyone left, while the others beside him are presumably just processing what went down and taking a rest (and boy oh boy do they (El) need one).
Mike on the other-hand decides to take this moment of rest to display the most cliche and universal forms of distracted unrest known to man: he checks his watch.
Tumblr media
Mike then stands up abruptly, causing El to fall without his shoulder there for her to rest on anymore, all while her and Dustin are looking on after him, sort of like... Okay?
Tumblr media
It's small. It might seem insignificant. But if you actually pay attention to what this scene is trying to make you feel, after really looking at it for what it is, it's kind of sad.
In a moment that chooses to highlight the other boys' acknowledgment of El after what just happened, and not only that, but at the tale end of their final battle of the season, Mike is... distracted?
Mike, who has been presumably looking out for El more than the others in the party this whole time, is conveniently out of commission? And right now when El is looking for his reassurance the most? Mike doesn't even have a moment to say, 'Hey I'll be right back, I just want to check something. Can one of you?--', asking Lucas or Dustin to sit next to her in his place. No. Dude just stands up without even acknowledging her.
If it was any other moment in the show, under less post-traumatic circumstances for El, then I wouldn't even think much of it. But it's at this point in the story when El is essentially at her most exhausted and quite literally seeking out support from others, specifically Mike, that makes his distractedness so eery.
Again, you might still be thinking that this isn't that deep. However, I think based on the events leading up to this, and what follows right here, could quite literally hold the answer to the guilt Mike is still keeping to himself to this day.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
So... How are we feeling?
Are we feeling like Mike None of you are thinking about El's wellbeing right now! She could get brain damage from using her powers too much! She's not a weapon!* Wheeler is a little bit of a hypocrite? (I told you that tool would come in handy!)
It's actually quite terrifying how similar this scene is framed to the scene in Hopper's cabin in s3, where Mike pretty much says the exact opposite. In s1 Mike goes from being one of the first people to refer to El as a weapon within the context of them using her powers to find Will, with him being completely un-attuned to the fact that she is exhausted in this moment while the others are saying El's rest and safety is the most important, to then in s3 completely flipping script and saying El was using her powers for nothing, blaming the others for treating her like a weapon and not taking her wellbeing into consideration.
It would be one thing if Mike had a little arc where he acknowledged this script flip. Because that's what it is. It is them having Mike use a word in s1 to describe El, that being weapon, only to say the others are treating her like that with that same word being used. It is them having Mike not agknowledge El's well being after overusing her powers, only to say the others aren't taking her wellbeing into consideration for overusing her powers.
And it would be one thing if Mike had spoke to El or literally anyone about how he felt like he wronged El for planning on sending her away the next day after they found her so that they could go back to looking for Will, or how he said she was a weapon that they needed in order to find Will, essentially being no better than the people she just escaped from, who also used her for her powers. But we don't get that (actually we do.. but it's not acknowledged for what it is aka survivor's guilt. It's instead seen as romantic... another tool for later...)
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think any of Mike's behavior takes away from what Mike did do for El, because yes he was kind and accepting when the others weren't. But even despite all of that, at the end of the day, he was often at the forefront of expecting El to risk her life for them, even if he wasn't outright asking that of her.
Before you freak out, No. I don't think Mike, a literal child, was capable of fathoming that El was going into these situations risking her life. She's a superhero. El's alternative was literally going back to the lab, running, or staying with Mike. This was her safest option.
After a bunch of rewatches and putting together a lot of these moments as a whole, I've come to a point where I believe that Mike's behavior throughout s1 was him thinking that because of who El was, she's already in danger at all times. That is a constant reality for her. And so why not have her help them find Will, because she is able to, all while he can also help her. And El clearly wanted to help them, because she wanted to help good people and finally do something meaningful with her powers for a change. Unfortunately, she also had to endure PTSD flashbacks almost every single time Mike and the boys had her use her powers to help find Will.
Speaking of Will, he is currently missing and possibly dead. Will also, in contrast to El (for now...), does not have any sort of superpowers.
Mike's concern over the threat of Will's livelihood is much greater than Mike's acknowledgement to the true risks El is exposing herself to each time she uses her powers to help them. That is s1 canon.
Is there times when Mike is focused on El and her well being. Absolutely! But is there also times when Mike is not showing any display of concern to El's well being in the moment, in complete contrast to the other characters around him... Also yes.
And so the events happening the way they did, with Mike himself not fully comprehending the severity of what's been going on during these high stake situations going on around him, makes sense.
And that's what makes it all the more sad that when Mike finally does realize what he's truly been asking of El this whole time, which is to risk her life for them, it's too late.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
This whole scene is obviously very emotional. All of the boys are crying, but the focus on Mike calling out for El painfully is heartbreaking.
But what's even more sad to me, is that El has been sort of used to mistreatment her whole life. She's used to having to find any comfort she could get from people in her life, all the while they were using her for her powers. I mean even despite Brenner being who he was and doing what he did, she still showed these signs of wanting to love him despite it. Which is very very fucked up. But knowing what she's gone through, makes sense.
Mike on the other-hand does greatly contrast Brenner because he was one of the first people to actually treat her with genuine kindness right from the start (before he even knew she had powers), making it a lot easier for her to care for him even despite that pesky trait of using her for her powers being almost synonymous with Brenner's very similar trait.
So when she looks back at Mike, and points him out specifically before sacrificing herself, it feels like a few things at once.
It feels like her acknowledging the fact that she appreciated him specifically for taking her in and supporting her more genuinely than anyone has in her entire life.
And yet it also feels like her, either intentionally or unintentionally, acknowledging the unfortunate side affect caused by days of Mike leading the efforts to find Will, with the expectation of her to do things to achieve that, which could have all lead to her demise technically. And so now when it all comes down to it and the stakes are at their highest yet, same as the risk, she's got to a point where she believes there is no other choice but to do just that, risk her life, especially if it means saving them.
While this is happening, Mike is backtracking in real time. He is trying to get El to stop and it's because he doesn't want her to die. Obviously.
But that's the fucked up part isn't it? When he finally realized what he's been asking of her this whole time, it's too late.
Which takes us to S2 Mike Wheeler, known by many for being a boy whose been calling his true love everyday for almost a year now because he's just so in love, but is actually in fact a boy suffering the most intense form of survivors guilt, one that involves a person who genuinely feels responsible for the persons death...
But that will probably take at least another 2,000 words so I'm thinking maybe I better split this into multiple parts.
I will tease that the next part involves one specific detail in particular that I never see anyone talk about, a detail that I think, in combination with what's discussed in this post, is so important to understanding Mike's breakdown for what it truly was at the end of season 2. I will also probably do more posts beyond that for s3-4, to delve into the impacts these moments from the first two seasons have basically put in place a perfect recipe for what is currently going down.
So feel free to stay tuned for those nonsense updates.
Continued
353 notes · View notes
londyboobs · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
mariejordan + falling in love through glances
244 notes · View notes
pentacentric · 6 months
Text
so if angel vessels are tied to bloodlines…
and sam is lucifer's perfect vessel, and dean is micheal's…
and their ancestors were bred specifically to perfect them over time…
and john was able to hold michael fairly easily…
…does that mean mary would have been a good vessel for lucifer?
JFC WRITERS WHY DID WE NOT GET LUCIFER-POSSESSED MARY???
can you imagine what that would have done to her? can you imagine what that would have done to sam??
220 notes · View notes
thatsbelievable · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
130 notes · View notes
poppyandlilysblog · 27 days
Text
Tumblr media
Marigold's first fresh dandelion
Oh...nevermind
Tumblr media
52 notes · View notes
bloodfreak-boyking · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
the way he can barely look at sam bc sam almost dying on his watch is the reason john sent them here in the first place i can't-
38 notes · View notes
evilrat-sabre · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
So these VH armors are killing me, I saw Wels thumbnail and I couldn't unsee the lion on a leather jacket, I tried to make the soul sand and ended making a trypophobia minefield, so I will put it under the cut
TW TRYPOPHOBIA
Tumblr media
63 notes · View notes
hellenhighwater · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
A little bit of technically-not-actually Mermay--some Merderbot for you. This is a version of the moments after leaving the DeltFall habitat, as Murderbot, badly injured and recommending it be discarded, is rescued by Mensah and Overse.
837 notes · View notes
transjudas · 2 years
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The progression of Ed’s response to Jack telling really dark stories about his past and violence as he sees Stede’s own reaction.
671 notes · View notes
childoftheriver · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
A heartbreaker from day 1.
38 notes · View notes
selene-and-the-cold · 8 months
Text
My phone was on loud because I had been listening to an audiobook while cleaning. Now I casually opened tumblr while sitting at the table for afternoon coffee and the first thing that came up on my tumblr feed was a wav WHICH STARTED PLAYING IMMEDIATELY! The first few seconds of a fucking sneeze wav just blasted from my phone and of course it was one of those wavs where the first sneeze comes 0.1 seconds after the beginning of the wav.
I am dead. Please honor my memory... ☠️☠️☠️
Edit: forgot to mention that there were family members present at the table 😱💀
38 notes · View notes
unwinthehart · 1 year
Text
Comunque questo
Tumblr media
e questo
Tumblr media
e questo
Tumblr media
con questo
Tumblr media
#same energy (soprattutto negli stacchi Rai che ha paura partano i limoni)
96 notes · View notes
mctwinkdom · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
I'm going to fucking cry, I've been confusing those three for as long as I write, which means I may have given my characters fucking briefs at some point thinking they were boxers/boxers briefs 😭😭😭
17 notes · View notes
book-buni · 27 days
Text
all the books I read in march 2024
1) “Atlas Shrugged” by Ayn Rand*
2) “The Do-Over” by Lynn Painter
3) “Ash House” by Angharad Walker
4) “The Prince and the Pauper” by Mark Twain
5) “Jane Against the World: Roe V. Wade and the Fight for Reproductive Rights” by Karen Blumenthal - ❤️
6) “The Ghosts of Rose Hill” by R. M. Romeo
7) “Scattered Showers: Nine Beautiful Short Stories” by Rainbow Rowell - ❤️
8) “The Metamorphosis” by Franz Kafka - ❤️
9) “Salt to the Sea” by Ruta Sepetys - ❤️
10) “The Address Book: What Street Addresses Reveal About Identity, Race, Wealth, and Power” by Deirdre Mask - ❤️
11) “The Ghost of Midnight Lake” by Lucy Strange
12) “Again, But Better: A Novel” by Christine Riccio - ❤️
13) “Emma” by Jane Austen - ❤️
14) “The Shame” by Makenna Goodman - ❤️
15) “Can We Talk About Israel? A Guide for the Curious, Confused, and Conflicted” by Daniel Sokatch - ❤️
16) “The Help” by Kathryn Stockett - ❤️
17) “Far from the Tree” by Robin Benway - ❤️
18) “The Lost Property Office” by James R. Hannibal
19) “A Little Princess” by  Frances Hodgson Burnett - ❤️
20) “Instant Karma” by Marissa Meyer - ❤️
21) “Once Upon a Broken Heart” trilogy by Stephanie Garber - ❤️
22) “Rosehead” by Ksenia Anske
*For Atlas Shrugged, I did enjoy reading it as a book but I didn’t agree with its values; with what the author (Ayn Rand) was trying to convey with her philosophy of objectivism. I did enjoy reading Anthem by her, but maybe I was too young to fully comprehend the intention of the story. I will say though that although I believe being selfish is good for one’s mental health, I do think there should be a limit to it. There’s such a thing as being too selfish (or maybe that’s just me). The type of people (aka Donald Trump) that like “Atlas Shrugged” probably says something about the book itself. But that could also just be me. In summary, this book made me think a lot of things and I would recommend trying it out just as a book, but I also wouldn’t recommend it because of what’s inside the book. Two very contradictory statements but take it as you will.
ALSO IF YOU WANT TO ASK ME WHY I GAVE A BOOK HEARTS OR WHY I DIDN’T DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK SORRY FOR THE ALL CAPS
7 notes · View notes
daryfromthefuture · 9 months
Text
DAY 25: TIMEBOMB
Tumblr media
i can't shut up about this man this whole lore is just so. aaaaaaaa
doc has to have the coolest backstory in all of fiction. like. my man first was forced to be a law clerk and rebelled against his dad, then finally became what he wanted, a scientist, only to build an atom bomb. like what the fuck, bobby g. and then, in 1955, he gets his greatest revelation and finally has something to work towards. and then he takes lsd in the 60s and becomes a hippie (which in my headcanon both is a result of the cuban missile crisis in 1962. doc does not want to be reminded that he's partly responsible for the potential destruction of the world, thank you very much). and then, in 1985, he finally realizes his dream of a time machine and hits two birds with one stone by also using plutonium for good after struggling for decades because he destroyed cities with it in 1945.
phew
but the manhattan lore has me in its grip. i can't help it its just so interesting. i wish we had more canon stuff on that, i would eat it up. like. doc has the purest heart in the world. what did this do to him.
i am hugging 40s doc as tightly as possible rn
25 notes · View notes