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makeste · 3 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 311: Hand Gun

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “thinkin’ about dropping in some woke analogies of the very real and very presently relevant issue of racial profiling idk what do you guys think” and then shrugged and did it without waiting for an answer, and ngl it was a bit sudden, but I’m here for it. All Might was all “DEKU YOU NEED TO EAT” and Deku was all “OKAY” and took his hero bento and went to go stand dramatically on a tower in the rain whilst having some highly anticipated Vestige flashbacks. OFA II was all, “sup, I guess I’m not Kacchan... OR AM I,” and ngl I think he is?? Alternate universes anybody?? Hello??? But anyway, so OFA the First a.k.a. Yoichi was all “remember that time you guys rescued me from my evil brother and Two took my hand and we Had A Moment?”, and Two and Three were all “ahh yeah good times”, and it was very nice and very, very gay. The chapter ended with it being very unclear if Two and Three have actually lent their power to Deku yet or not lmao. Y’all need to get your shit together dudes.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “what if I gave a random bad guy a fucking tommy gun that shoots nails” and jesus christ calm down son. The Hawksquad, a.k.a. SQUAWK as per @hotchocolatier, are all “time to drive aimlessly around town acting like Deku has a restraining order on us because that’s literally the best plan to combat the League we could come up with,” and I have no further comment. Hawks is all “idk about you guys but I want to know more about AFO and Tomura’s whole deal” and I can’t remember the last time I identified so strongly with one of these characters. All Might is all, “[EXPLODES???]”, and the chapter ends with that mysterious hot girl from the Tartarus breakout being all “HELLO I CAN TURN INTO A GUN AND I LITERALLY DON’T GIVE A FUCK” and (1) WOW, and (2) IT’S TRUE, SHE CAN, AND SHE REALLY DOESN’T. GODDAMN.

(ETA: so this wholly escaped my notice on the first go, and also has nothing to do with the chapter itself, but I only just realized that this chapter was scanlated by a new group, TCB Scans. they actually did a very good job, and I’m curious if they’ve found a new RAW provider, because the quality this week is actually crazy good in comparison to what we’ve been dealing with for the past few months. I’m gonna have to get caught up on what exactly happened here lol.)

so what will it be this week? more Vestige antics? more of Sad Nomad Deku standing on buildings and pretending like he’s some cool aloof antihero, as if he could fool us when we all know his hero backpack is secretly stuffed full with his nerd diaries and the remnants of all the hero bentos that All Might keeps giving him?? or, just putting it out there, just a crazy thought, but you don’t suppose we might actually cut back to U.A.? mmm. side-eyes emoji

maaaaaan I’m starting to get tired of this trend of beginning chapters by dropping in on random power-tripping civilians and/or Shindou lol. just once can we get a chapter that opens with someone I actually give a fuck about

oh at least Endeavor is here

A WHAT SUPPORT ITEM!??! HOLY SHIT DDLKJSLFKJL

lol somehow that’s more terrifying than bullets for me?? like I’m fully aware that bullets will fuck you up way worse and that in real life nail guns probably don’t work like this AT ALL and only have a range of like... hold up let me just google... up to 100 to 150 m/s and distances of up to 500m wait WHAT

okay wait. hold up. like I was expecting google to tell me nail guns only shoot a few feet at most, and instead the first search result is some CDC blog article that’s “dispelling” the “””myth””” -- please note my repeated sarcastic quotation marks -- that nail guns can fire 1400 feet per second, by explaining that actually they can fire anywhere from 315 ft/sec to 1,295 ft/sec, and that “it is in the pneumatic nail gun user’s best interest to handle these tools as if they were a firearm despite having a lower velocity” dlkjdslkjflkl

SO THAT SCENE IN IRON MAN 3 WHERE TONY RAIDS A HOME DEPOT AND BUYS A BUNCH OF RANDOM TOOLS AND SHIT AND GOES ON TO STAGE A ONE-MAN INVASION OF AN INTERNATIONAL TERRORIST’S FLORIDA MANSION HQ IS ACTUALLY TRUE. YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT THE FILM “HOME ALONE” IS ACTUALLY A DOCUMENTARY. “the Discovery Channel television program “Mythbusters” compared the penetration capacity of an airborne projectile shot from a pneumatic framing nail gun to that of a 9mm hand gun” HELLO YES AND A MERRY “WHAT THE FUCK” TO YOU AS WELL

anyway, so. there’s apparently a reason why the Number One hero, who can burn people with the intensity of a sun going supernova, is hiding here behind this concrete support column making frowny faces. nope. nuh uh. he ain’t about that. I don’t blame you buddy

so now he’s barrel rolling out of his hiding place and setting this dude THE FUCK ON FIRE because HELL NO. BAD ENOUGH I HAD TO WATCH THAT FUCKING MUSHROOM EPISODE LAST WEEK! YOU TAKE THAT SHIT SOMEWHERE ELSE

LOL look at his face

I know the context is actually him being all “I know I’m responsible for basically everything that happened and so that’s why I’m so grim and serious about this mission to set things right piece by piece,” but in my mind this pissed-off face is 100% all because this dude tried to shoot his eye out with a nail gun. look at that. you made him go full flame face again. beard and all. protecting his face so that it can hopefully melt any stray nails that get too close. nope nope nope

good lord. so what’s up next. let me guess the guy fighting Best Jeanist has like an atomic chainsaw or some shit

lol nope we’re just cutting back to Hawks and Jeanist chilling in the Jesla after they’ve wrapped things up

Jeanist has got some serious Groot energy you guys jesus christ he’s like 12 feet tall

oh snap someone threw a pipe at him now

today is just the chapter of Endeavor being assaulted by random DIY tools I guess

I mean, I get why they’re pissed at him obviously; I would be too lol. but tbh I also don’t really understand the “get out of here we don’t want your help” attitude that all of these people suddenly seem to have?? like it if were me, I would be fucking DEMANDING for him and the other heroes to be working round the clock to fix their stupid mess. I mean who else is gonna do it?? it’s their mess, I sure don’t want to be the one to clean it up instead. anyways but whatever lol

oh shit?

so they haven’t dropped the whole “OFA secret potentially gets revealed to the world” thing yet after all. that makes sense I suppose, it did seem like that whole thing wound up playing out a bit too easily

anyway so yeah

the locals are definitely none too happy. well at least Dabi’s got something to be cheerful about I guess

so now we’re cutting to the interior of the Jesla and they’re chitchatting about the current investigation

oh wow this actually makes a bit of sense now. so there was a reason they were keeping their distance from Deku

please note that even in this abstract Endeavor’s-Mental-Image-Of-Him panel, Deku’s eyes still don’t have the light in them anymore :( my poor son

also ftr I still think using Deku as bait in this particular sense is the shittiest idea ever ngl. like sure, let’s let the sixteen-year-old run around battling miscellaneous escaped prison convicts while we stay several kilometers away ON PURPOSE despite the fact that you’re using him as bait to draw out the Big Bad, who just a reminder can destroy anything with a mere touch and who you were all basically helpless against. what exactly are you all planning to do if Tomura or one of the other League VIPs actually shows up to retrieve him?? are you even keeping tabs on him at all in real time?? jesus

(ETA: well that escalated quickly lol.)

Horikoshi is all of a sudden dropping whole pages of exposition here and I can’t be bothered to summarize this lol so just,

a big fat YES to what Jeanist said, though. that’s why imo they would have been better off laying a trap at U.A. rather than just wandering around out in the open. I assume they’re trying to cut their potential losses because U.A. is full of students (and civilians), but those students also happen to be more capable than pretty much anyone else in the manga at this point. and tbh they’re already in life-threatening danger regardless of how things play out from here on, so they might as well at least try to use the few advantages they have right now. U.A. is almost certainly going to come under siege at some point anyway, so they might as well prepare for it

lol I don’t think I’m explaining this very well because I don’t have the patience right now to break it down point by point like it really ought to be, so for now I’ll just say that imo “U.A. siege” stands a good chance of being the eventual endgame even now, and so this whole “Deku runs around being bait” arc is really just killing time until then lol. like and subscribe for more rambling nonsensical takes such as this. maybe next time I’ll even put it all into one single sentence for maximum meandering senior citizen rant value

well it’s nice that they’re finally talking about all of this I guess

we readers have known all of this for months now but this confirms the heroes are finally caught up. ALSO, Hawks is so fucking smart, as always. kinda wonder if things would have played out differently if All Might had let him in on the secret a bit earlier. probably that’s why Horikoshi made damn sure they didn’t find out until after the War arc lol

OH MY GOD YOOOOOO HAWKS OUT HERE ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS

“anyone else wondering why AFO bothered to raise Tomura as his fake heir for fifteen years when he was secretly planning on taking over his body the whole time” YES, [raises hand] lmao Hawks where the hell were you when I was debating this “AFO is the final villain and Tomura is just his pawn” thing on multiple occasions over the past several years lol

lmao seeing them debate the metaphysics of OFA and all of its mystical bullshit is seriously surreal you guys

JEANIST HAVE YOU CHECKED OUT MY META TAG I HAVE WRITTEN SO MANY ESSAYS. I ACTUALLY WAS PLANNING ON WRITING ANOTHER ESSAY ABOUT THE THING THAT I’M PRETTY SURE HAWKS IS ABOUT TO BRING UP, BUT I NEVER GOT AROUND TO IT WHOOPS, BUT MAYBE I WILL NOW LOL LET’S SEE HOW IT GOES

yes!!

WHICH AFO FUCKING ENSURED HE WOULD BE BY LITERALLY PLANNING OUT EVERY LAST DETAIL OF HIS FAMILY TRAGEDY, FROM SECRETLY GIVING TENKO THE QUIRK TO MAKING SURE NO CIVILIANS OR HEROES WOULD HELP HIM UNTIL AFO FINALLY STEPPED IN. I’M 1000% CONVINCED THIS IS THE CASE YOU GUYS. NOT JUST BECAUSE I’M NOT A FAN OF “THE WORLD IS A FUNDAMENTALLY SHITTY PLACE, ACTUALLY” TAKES BECAUSE MISTER ROGERS TOLD ME TO ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE HELPERS, BUT ALSO BECAUSE IT LITERALLY JUST DOESN’T MAKE A LICK OF SENSE OTHERWISE. THEIR ENTIRE HOUSE CAVED IN FFS, YOU’RE TELLING ME NONE OF THE NEIGHBORS FUCKING OVERHEARD THAT SHIT AND WENT “UMMMMMMMMM” AND WENT TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON?? “DIDN’T THERE USED TO BE A HOUSE HERE, AND LIKE A WHOLE FAMILY, AND SHIT?”

LIKE I’M SORRY, BUT IT’S ONE THING TO SAY IT’S REALISTIC THAT NOT A SINGLE PERSON WOULD ATTEMPT TO HELP THE WANDERING TRAUMATIZED CHILD AFTERWARDS (WHICH I DISAGREE WITH AS WELL BUT AT LEAST THAT’S MORE SUBJECTIVE), AND IT’S A WHOLE OTHER THING TO ARGUE THAT IT’S REALISTIC THAT NO ONE WOULD BE FUCKING NOSY. LIKE THAT’S A WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL OF “THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS” ENTIRELY LOL. anyway tl;dr AFO is a piece of shit and Tomura’s entire worldview is based on a magnificently intricate and savagely cruel lie more at 11

anyway so after all that ranting it looks like that wasn’t even what Hawks was talking about after all lol. I just went off for absolutely no reason lol oh well. instead it seems that Hawks is suggesting that Tomura’s carefully cultivated hatred might not yet have actually reached “can defeat OFA” levels even after all of that trauma. interesting!

don’t mind me, I’m just sitting here while my brain furiously scrambles to put together all the parallels between Hawks and Tomura that it never noticed before until exactly this second. like I’m not even sure that was the intent here at all (I need to check out another translation or two lol), but regardless my mind decided that now would be the perfect time to make the connection between these two twenty-somethings who both had horrific childhoods and spent years being molded by their respective manipulative guardians, and developed eerily similar “laugh at everything because what else can you do” coping mechanisms to deal with it all hmmmmm

anyway so they were talking more about their strategy, but now all of a sudden Jeanist’s phone is beeping??

AND NOW WE’RE CUTTING AWAY TO ALL MIGHT AND HIS MIGHTMOBILE DAMMIT so that means the call to Jeanist was actually something important then!! WAS IT BAKUGOU OMG. DOES YOUR INTERN WANT A WORD FFFKLFSJK please it’s been so long I just need a little crumb or two to tide me over lmao have mercy

anyway so All Might’s following the GPS tracking device he’s apparently got planted on Deku (which in my conspiracy headcanons he’s actually had for a long time now, like since before DvK2 lol because HOW ELSE WOULD HAVE HAVE KNOWN THAT THEY WERE FIGHTING EACH OTHER IN GROUND BETA, PEOPLE) and thinking angsty thoughts about Deku’s sucky life

AND NOW ALL MIGHT’S PHONE IS RINGING TOO?? BAKUGOU HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE YOU CALLING. “WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THE NERD GODDAMMIT”

OMG

lol is he under attack or is he just finally giving All Might the slip like we all know he SECRETLY PLANNED TO ALL ALONG oh my poor dumb angstmuffin

OMG AHHHHHHH WHAT

DID ALL MIGHT JUST FUCKING DIE LMAO NO OF COURSE NOT, BUT WHAT

WHAT IS HAPPENING OMG

THE FUCK IS THAT. AT LEAST IT’S NOT A NAIL

OH IT’S A SPEAKER!! OMG DID THEY TAKE ALL MIGHT HOSTAGE

“THEY’RE HERE” WELP, TIME TO SEE JUST HOW SHITTY THIS SHITTY PLAN REALLY IS LOL

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SHE!!!!

omg. AND OVERHAUL JUST CHILLING THERE IN THE BACKGROUND ALL “WHAT DO YOU EVEN WANT ME TO DO I’VE GOT NO FUCKING ARMS” YEAH GOOD RIDDANCE LOL

DOES THIS GIRL HAVE ONE GIANT LEG OR WHAT, LIKE WHAT’S THE DEAL HERE

-- HOLD UP WAIT, THE GUN IS HER ARM, HOLY SHIT SHE CAN TURN INTO A GUN -- OKAY HOLD UP BECAUSE I NEED TO SAY THAT IN BIGGER TEXT BECAUSE !!!!

YOU GUYS, THE COOL TARTARUS GIRL IS BACK AND HER QUIRK IS “CAN TURN INTO A FUCKING GUN.” THIS IS NOT A DRILL!! MY BEST GIRL MT. GUN IS FINALLY BACK ON THE SCENE WITH HER QUIRK “CAN DO ANYTHING A GUN CAN DO.” “I HEARD Y’ALL WENT AND NAMED ONE OF YOUR HEROES ‘GUNHEAD’ EVEN THOUGH HIS HEAD ISN’T EVEN A GUN, LIKE WTF IS UP WITH THAT LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT’S DONE” DANG OKAY

lmao only fifteen pages this week, and STILL NO KACCHAN (THEN WHO WAS PHONE!!!), but man I don’t even care because finally we’ve got a cliffhanger that’s actually deserving of being a cliffhanger! hot dog. okay then

#bnha 311 #endeavor #hawks (bnha)#takami keigo #shigaraki tomura #best jeanist #all might #midoriya izuku #cool tartarus gun transforming girl #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

298 notes · View notes

1112lw · 5 years

Note

Every question!!

SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS

LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO

1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!

2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess

3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark

4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that

5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀

6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general

7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so

8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale

9: My best first date: :))))))) as if

10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4

11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig

12: What time were I born: 12:19

13: Favourite color: pink!

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”

16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too

17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol

18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont

19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO

20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh

21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s

22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special

23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk

24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels

25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety

26: Meaning behind my URL:

27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD

28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)

29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh

30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry

31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily

32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)

33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired

34: Favourite holiday:

35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it

36: Tattoos and piercings I want:

37: The reason I joined Tumblr:

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no

41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months

44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah

48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always

50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh

51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb

54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend

56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7

57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?

58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind

60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so

63: Do I believe in magic? i think!

64: Do I believe in luck? yeah

65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!

66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic

68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget

70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter

73: Favourite animal? cats or otters

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀

77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh

79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE

82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”

85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO

86: Had sex? no

87: Bought condoms? no

88: Gotten pregnant? NO

89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year

90: Kissed a boy? :(((

91: Kissed a girl? no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

93: Had job? I have a job rn so

94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school

95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?

96: Had sex in public? virgin squad

97: Played on a sports team? yeah

98: Smoked weed? no ew

99: Did drugs? no ew

100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW

101: Drank alcohol? yep

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die

103: Been overweight? i’m twig

104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small

105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?

108: Been outside my home country? ONCE

109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !

110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!

111: Broken a bone? no

112: Cut myself? not technically

113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD

114: Been in airplane? once

115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch

116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty

118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now

119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way

121: Had oral sex? as if

122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh

123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY

124: Rode in an ambulance? nope

125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old

126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small

127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?

128: Peed outside? yes

129: Been fishing? YES

130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so

131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly

132: Broken a mirror? no

133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly

135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit

136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!

137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels

138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that

139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal

140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!

141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee

142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,

143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot

144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all

147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed

148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition

151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care

152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official @ace-landofthesun @dorkalisious and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls

153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !

ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye

#Arche.txt #asks #ask #long post

6 notes · View notes

mystery-salad · 5 years

Note

WELL ... u said u have 38 kiddos and theres 26 letters in the alphabet soooo because i'm extra and love reading about them i think u should do one letter for 26 characters of ur choosing (as long as u choose tvelle for one of them) :-) Don't have to do all the questions for each letter, just whichever excites you most!!

Well…THIS is going under a cut for sure lol, that’s gonna be a long-ass post! I’ll try to include pictures of everyone I choose since I know y’all haven’t seen all my kiddos. Instead of answering one letter for 26 kids, I answered all 26 letters for one kid each! Same number of answers, but a little more variety~

TAOMESIN

A: Aptitude

1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young?

They’re naturally nimble and light on their feet, very manoeuvrable and can get to just about wherever they want to!

2. what activities have they participated in?

They used to love holiday activities so much~

3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for?

They have worked hard to become a phenomenal sniper so that they can also attack from afar instead of only using close combat.

4. what things are they bad at?

Social interactions and caring

5. what is their most impressive talent?

Their ability to react fast in battle even if things have gone disastrously. They’re incredibly logical and level-headed.

RIEFT

B: Basics

1. what is their hair color?

Light, vibrant green!

2. what is their eye color?

It varies from gold to emerald, colorful flecks and streaks everywhere~

3. how tall are they?

5′8″

4. how old are they?

To current day, she’s 7 years old!

5. how much do they weigh?

Roughly 150 lb

MINT (on the left)

C: Comfort

1. how do they sit in a chair?

They like to curl up with their legs pulled close, nestled as far back as they can be!

2. in what position do they sleep?

Curled up tight, preferably with Azin’s arms around him while they hold onto him.

3. what is their ideal comfort day?

A day where Azin is home all day from work so that the two can simply cuddle and be together while they relax~

4. what is their major comfort food? why?

They love ice cream, the cold numbing feeling inside their body is actually very nice and welcome to them on some level.

5. who is the best at comforting them when down?

Azin is the only one who can comfort them at all.

BODACC

D: Decoration

1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name?

It’d be a mess, scattered parts all over the place, mid-build machines sitting on every elevated surface! Lots of benches and tabls, a couple cleared off for guests but ultimately it’d look like a workshop.

2. how would they decorate their child’s room?

She’d never have a child, but if she were to decorate a child’s room she’d fill it with small animatronic toys and puzzles to ensure the child stays thoroughly entertained!

3. how do they decorate their own room?

It’s overcrowded with nicknacks and spare parts she accidentally carried to her room when tired. The bed is constantly messy and she curls up in a next of blankets and pillows in the center of her mattress.

4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear?

Lots of tight clothing that can’t snag easily on tools or gears. She’s really fond of pink so a lot of her clothes are in pink tones. She tries to dress nicely to impress other asuras.

5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends?

Nope! No makeup or beauty trends for her, it’d just get messed up from her work within the first hour anyways.

TVELLE

E: External Personality

1. does the way they do things portray their internal personality?

Absolutely! She’s eager and so enthusiastic and excited, she’s constantly bouncing around or hanging off of her friends talking about things excitedly.

2. do they do things that conform to the norm?

Not by asuran standards for sure! She holds no concept of superiority over others, doesn’t particularly care for traditional learning or sitting at a desk or in a workshop for any amount of time.

3. do they follow trends or do their own thing?

Definitely does her own thing! Whatever makes her happy is good, and she doesn’t really care if it’s not on trend or fashionable.

4. are they up-to-date on the internet fads?

She’s not at all, though the younger recruits she trains sometimes try to catch her up on the fads around Tyria. She good-naturedly pays attention when they all tell her something at least.

5. do they portray their personality intentionally or let people figure it out on their own?

She’s very outward in her personality, what you see is 100% what you get with her. It throws most people for a loop at first, a lot of people think she might tone down more if you get to know her better, but nope! She’s just genuinely that exuberant.

IMEKAARI

F: Fun

1. what do they do for fun?

All sorts of things! Go out to explore the town, meet new people, invite a friend to a new restaurant, learn a new hobby, relax at home with a good book, etc…he really enjoys getting the most out of life.

2. what is their ideal party?

Lots of new people to talk to, well lit and music’s quiet enough to hold casual conversation. Good food, good drinks, and of course a nice place for games or dancing if it comes up!

3. who would they have the most fun with?

He has the most fun with his three closest friends: Io, Lace, and Trahearne!

4. can they have fun while conforming to rules?

Yup, he’s actually very on top of following rules himself, but he’s having a grand time!

5. do they go out a lot?

All the time! Whenever he has a break from work in a new location, he goes out at least a few times to explore. He also tries to get the others to go out more by inviting them places with him.

KVOLD

G: Gorgeous

1. what is their most attractive external feature?

He has gorgeous eyes, a deep blue brimming with excitement!

2. what is the most attractive part of their personality?

He loves playing around with others and goofing off~

3. what benefits come with being their friend?

You’ll always have someone excited to hang out with you anywhere you want to go!

4. what parts of them do they like and dislike?

He likes his hair a lot, he missed it dearly when it grew in as vines while he was stressed. Since it’s grown soft and leafy again he’s worn it differently every day!

He doesn’t like how he seems so naive to people, he knows he can handle himself really when it comes to anything except the Court.

5. what parts of others do they envy?

He envies that others had the chance to grow up normally.

CHERIE

H: Heat

1. do they rather a hot or cold room?

He likes it warm!

2. do they prefer summer or winter?

Prefers summer, but winter snowball fights and hot drinks are delightful~

3. do they like the snow?

Yes!!! He was so excited the first time he saw it.

4. do they have a favorite summer activity?

He loves beach parties or hiking!

5. do they have a favorite winter activity?

Snowball fights!!!

AQUN

I: In-the-closet

1. what is their sexuality?

She’s pan, but leans more towards girls

2. have they ever questioned their sexuality?

Nope, she was pretty confident from the start!

3. have they ever questioned their gender?

She did for a while wonder if she was a different gender, but after a year or two of exploring she settled back to female pronouns.

4. would/was their family be okay with them being LGBT?

Her family supports her but really hopes she at least adopts a child to carry on the family name.

5. how long would/did it take for them to come out?

She never made a big announcement, and doesn’t care to. Those who would need to know already do.

TOJOLL

J: Joy

1. what makes them happy?

She loves the thrill of adventure, and a good beach party!

2. who makes them happy?

Her girlfriends do

3. are there any songs that bring them joy?

She loves good bar songs about victories in battle

4. are they happy often?

Almost all the time, she’s doing very well!

5. what brings them the most joy in the world?

Hanging out with her girlfriends

ILLIADDE

K: Kill

1. have they ever thought about suicide?

Yes, she’s thought of it several times but has about as much reason to kill herself as to not. Meaning none.

2. have they ever thought about homicide?

She’s committed homicide many times and will many more times, without so much as a thought one way or the other.

3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who?

Lace

4. who would miss them if they died?

Strair

5. who would be happy they died, anyone?

So. Many. People.

EMBRANT

L: Lemons

1. what is their favorite fruit?

She loves plums and apricots a lot!

2. what is their least favorite fruit?

Kiwis and Pineapples, too tart for her taste.

3. are there any foods they hate?

She’s not a fan of figs or peanuts

4. do they have any food intolerances?

Nope! She’s not got any

5. what is their favorite food?

Cupcakes! Preferably funfetti

LAIGHE

M: Maternal

1. would they want a daughter or a son?

She has a daughter, but would be happy with either

2. how many children do they want?

One at a time is honestly enough

3. would they be a good parent?

She really would be, and she was, when she wasn’t so weighed down by her job. A lot has happened since then.

4. what would they name a son? what would they name a daughter?

She’d let them pick their own name, considering it’d probably be another sapling.

5. would they adopt?

That’s about all she’d do lol

AEZLIN

N: Never Have I Ever

1. what would they never do?

Say anything remotely self-conscious

2. what have they never done that they want to do?

Nothing at the moment, he’s got everything he currently wants in life. Though I’m sure that’ll change off and on as it does.

3. is there anything they absolutely can’t believe people do?

Fight extraneously. Getting sweaty? Chance of injuries? Gross

4. what is the most embarrassing thing they’ve done?

By his standards? Nothing of course. He’s perfect.

5. have they done anything they thought they’d never do?

“completed” his wyld hunt…in a way…

ENNRECK

O: Optimism

1. are they optimistic or pessimistic?

Optimistic for sure

2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others?

Not particularly, he’s pretty laid back and chill.

3. are they good at giving advice?

Yup! He likes to help where he can, he just doesn’t run into many people very often.

4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them?

Nope, he lives a relatively solitary life, which he enjoys~ He goes to see people when he wants to socialise.

5. were they always optimistic?

Nope, he grew up pretty unhappy in traditional charr life as someone who was pretty non-confrontational.

REGNIETTE

P: Personality

1. what is their best personality trait?

They’re full of determination! If they set a goal, they’ll reach it.

2. what is their worst personality trait?

They’re far too stubborn for their own good

3. what of their personality do others love?

It’s never boring with them, they’re impulsive and always come back with an interesting story.

4. what of their personality do others envy?

They’re very good at loopholes

5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities?

They hate when people are cowards or show no initiative.

ELAPHURUS

Q: Questions

1. do they ask for help?

Yup! They always ask for help when they need it.

2. do they ask questions in class?

If they were in class, they’d be that student with a question about almost every topic.

3. do they answer questions that make them a little uncomfortable?

They would, but they’d look awkward during it.

4. do they ask weird questions?

So Many weird questions. They’re pretty new to the world.

5. are they curious?

They’re incredibly curious! About everything! Especially other sylvari.

STRAIR

R: Rules

1. do they follow rules?

Fuck no

2. would they be a strict or laid-back parent?

They’d be a Terrible Parent

3. have they ever faced a consequence for breaking a rule?

Nope, they’re very good at fucking talking their way out of a situation!

4. have they broken any rules they now regret breaking?

Nope, they have zero regrets in their life. None at all.

5. do they find any rules they/others follow absolutely ridiculous?

Absolutely, some laws are just ridiculously constraining or restricting or specific. They’re not about that shit.

MATTHIAS

S: Streets

1. are they street-smart?

He’s very street-smart!

2. would they give money to someone on the streets?

No, he got the money himself, he’s not giving it to someone else.

3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets?

Ooooooh so many times in his youth

4. has anything happened to them on the streets?

Considering he grew up among bandits, a Lot has happened to him. He’s still looking over his shoulder for some people from his past.

5. are they cautious when out?

If he’s out without his team, he’s on guard constantly.

NIXXTE

T: Truth

1. are they honest?

They’re as honest as their job requires, they write honest reports after missions.

2. can they tell if someone is lying?

Usually yes, they’re part of a spy organisation and can spot a lot of tells now.

3. is it obvious when they’re lying?

Nope, they can lie blatantly and it’s pretty much impossible to tell. That’ll happen when half your face is missing and you sign to speak.

4. have they lied about anything they regret lying about?

Nope! No lying remorse

5. have they told truths that have been spread against their will?

Nope, they don’t talk about anything unnecessary to say unless among people they trust.

NIKLAE

U: Underdog

1. have they been bullied?

Yeah, one or two saplings who weren’t so nice would bully them sometimes. Thy were a skittish and twitchy target who can’t see what’s coming.

2. have they bullied anyone?

No, they don’t socialise much if thy can help it. Positive or negative.

3. have they been physically attacked by a bully?

Yuuup

4. have they ever been doubted?

No, they don’t regularly voice an opinion to others. They just pretty quickly rebuff most people.

5. have they surprised people with being good at something?

Over the years they’ve gotten used to being blind, and good at maneuvering around the world seamlessly.

THALE

V: Vomit

1. do they vomit often?

No, they’ve got a relatively strong stomach

2. do they get lots of stomach aches?

Sometimes they do. There are days where they don’t eat and those can hurt pretty bad.

3. are they good at comforting someone ill?

If they knew anyone they likely would be very attentive and accommodating when the person is ill.

4. what do they like as far as comfort goes?

A nice, warm and cozy corner to curl up in with a blanket~

5. do they burp, cough, or hiccup most when nauseous? when vomiting?

They burp and cough some. They don’t hiccup much!

TIRS

W: Water

1. do they drink enough water?

She does!

2. have they learned to swim?

She can swim very well, loves spending time in a nice lake when it’s hot out~

3. do they like to swim?

Yeah, it’s tons of fun, especially deep dives!

4. can they dive?

She isn’t particularly graceful, but she can dive competently enough

5. can they swim without holding their nose?

Yup, thanks to the breathing filters Tyria has!

CUE (right)

X: Xylophone

1. what is their favorite genre of music?

He enjoys just about everything to an extent, he’s not too picky. He really enjoys upbeat dancing music though.

2. do they have a favorite song?

No particular favorite, it changes day to day depending on what he’s feeling!

3. do they have a favorite band/artist/singer?

If you walked up to him and asked him what band he’s listening to, as he’s listening to a song, he’s shrug and say he just enjoys the song.

4. can they sing well?

Nooooope, he’s mediocre at best.

5. can they rap?

Definitely Not.

ODOLLUMN

Y: You

1. how old were you when you created them?

I was 20 I think!

2. what inspired you to create them?

Frilly/Lacy Pastel Goth was the goal back then

3. were they different when they were first created?

Oh yeah she was so different, she was gentle and kind and beautiful and elegant. She’s still beautiful, but now she’s unsettling and emotionless and a bit menacing.

4. do you enjoy writing them more than other characters?

Not more than my other favorites, but Odollumn is definitely way up there for me!

5. what’s your favorite thing about them?

She’s a challenge to give motivation for since she’s so apathetic, but it’s a really interesting challenge to be honest.

ENVERT

Z: Zebra

1. what’s their favorite animal?

She loves fern hounds, they’re particularly hardy and survive a lot of physical stress.

2. do they like animals?

She loves animals! They’re so convenient.

3. cats or dogs?

Dogs are easier to trap and handle.

4. what’s their dream pet?

She’d love to one day get her hands on an electric wyvern.

5. do they have any pets at the moment?

She’s currently got several ‘pets’, yes!

#miragecounseling #writing: everyone #I am Not individually tagging them all lol

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covid19worldnews · 3 years

Text

The West’s Infernos Are Melting Our Sense of How Fire Works

On the windy, hot day of July 26, 2018, as record 113-degree temperatures baked Redding, California, in the northern Sacramento Valley, Eric Knapp toiled in an air-conditioned government office. After work, he planned to meet his wife and 3-year-old daughter, and some family friends, for dinner. Slender and fair-skinned with a gentle smile, Knapp is a research ecologist for the US Forest Service. He was well aware that, three days earlier, in coastal mountains west of town, a wildfire had started when a trailer got a flat tire and the metal wheel rim scraped the asphalt, sending sparks into dry brush.

Like the vast majority of wildfires, this one, called the Carr Fire, burned initially as a wide but shallow band of flames advancing slowly, like a battalion of infantrymen marching shoulder to shoulder, and left behind charred grass and lightly scorched trees. The Carr Fire was also typical in that it moved according to the dictates of wind, ground slope, and flammable fuels—southeast around a lake, then up a hill, in part because heat rises. Early on that particular morning, the fire had crested a rise above Redding and, with a northwesterly breeze at its back, crawled downhill toward town.

November 2020. Subscribe to WIRED.

Photograph: Kevin Cooley

Knapp was finishing up for the day when his friend Talitha Derksen, a wildlife biologist with a daughter close in age to Knapp’s own, sent a text saying that her neighborhood might have to be evacuated. One of the agencies tasked with that judgment call, the California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection—aka CalFire—is one of the world’s largest and most effective wildland firefighting organizations. CalFire bases evacuation recommendations on predictions of where, and how quickly, a flame front will move next. That day, the fire appeared likely to reach the floor of the Sacramento Valley at a subdivision called Land Park, about a mile northwest of Derksen’s house.

Knapp and the others changed plans: They’d meet at Derksen’s, order pizza, and help her get ready to leave in case it came to that. Knapp stopped at his house to grab fireproof Nomex clothing. As he headed to Derksen’s, he considered dropping by the office again to pick up his hard hat and emergency fire shelter—a sort of fire-resistant pup tent—but decided he was unlikely to need them.

As he turned onto Derksen’s street, the flame front was a couple of miles away and hidden by trees, but Knapp could see the smoke rising in a straight and tall plume that turned the sun orange. When he arrived at Derksen’s house, she was already packing bags. Knapp, to be sure he knew what they were dealing with, jogged out the nearby Sacramento River Trail for a view. Upriver, on the far bank, he could see red flames torching gray pines and scrubby oaks.

Knapp was shooting photos when he noticed something odd: The wind where he stood blew out of the south, into the fire, but the flame front still moved the other way, driven by that northwesterly at its back. Then he saw something else: Portions of the smoke plume swirled in different directions, as if beginning to rotate.

Knapp knew this could signal a once rare and dangerous phenomenon known as plume-driven fire, in which a fire’s own convective column of rising heat becomes hot enough and big enough to redirect wind and weather in ways that can make the fire burn much hotter and, with little warning, spread fast enough to trap people as they flee.

As Knapp ran back down the trail, he passed neighbors walking and recommended they turn around. But even he had no idea how much peril they were all in. At the house, as Derksen left, Knapp and others hosed down the roof and rain gutters and cleared the yard of flammable material like cardboard boxes and lawn furniture. Knapp was the last person there, spraying water on the fence and yard.

Even as Knapp cranked the spigot, the swirling smoke he’d seen was fast accelerating, transforming much of the Carr Fire’s enormous lower plume into the biggest fire tornado ever observed, a whirling vortex of flame 17,000 feet tall and rotating at 143 mph with the destructive force of an EF-3 tornado, the kind that erases entire towns in Oklahoma.

While Knapp blithely sprayed water around Derksen’s house, that fire tornado—hidden from him by all the smoke in the air—leaped across the Sacramento River, touched down in Land Park, snapped high-tension power lines, uprooted trees, wrapped steel pipes around utility poles, and obliterated hundreds of homes, igniting and shredding them and hurling their burning debris up to altitudes at which commercial passenger jets fly.

Not far from where Knapp stood, CalFire captain Shawn Raley was evacuating a woman and her daughter in his truck when all the windows imploded, showering them with shattered glass. Close by, a 37-year-old fire inspector named J. J. Stoke radioed Mayday moments before the tornado lifted his 5,000-pound Ford F-150 off the asphalt and flipped it repeatedly down Buenaventura Boulevard, killing him. Three other CalFire workers were driving bulldozers on that same boulevard when their windows also shattered. One of the 25-ton vehicles got spun around and dropped on top of a truck driven by a retired police officer, who then jumped out and crouched behind the bulldozer’s blade while his truck caught fire.

That’s about when flaming debris that had been sucked into the Carr Fire’s plume of smoke drifted out of the updraft column into what fire meteorologists call the fallout zone, which is exactly what it sounds like. Knapp couldn’t possibly have seen that happening; it was tens of thousands of feet above him. Nor could he see the flaming remnants of homes and trees hurtling downward like firebombs, smashing onto roofs and igniting dozens of houses. While looking up into the black whirling darkness overhead, Knapp, who still thought the Carr Fire was advancing with the slow predictability of a classic shallow flame front, watched embers rain down on the bark chips upon which he stood, lighting them afire. At the same moment, with the very ground at his feet aflame, Knapp felt an even more powerful pulse of heat.

That fire tornado, and the blaze that raged for weeks after, ultimately destroyed more than a thousand homes and buildings, killed eight people, and scorched nearly a quarter-million acres. Yet it was neither the biggest California fire of 2018, nor the most destructive, nor even the only one to behave in frighteningly anomalous ways. The Mendocino Complex fire, about 100 miles south of the Carr, which started the day after Knapp lingered unwittingly below a tornado, was also briefly plume-driven and ultimately burned almost 460,000 acres in what was then the largest California wildfire of all time. In early November, the Woolsey Fire near Malibu destroyed 1,643 structures while ripping trees and power-line posts out of the ground with a force suggestive of yet another fire tornado. The infamous Camp Fire, likewise in November, burned 70,000 acres in 24 hours—about a football field a second, for a while—and created an urban firestorm that destroyed more than 18,000 structures and killed 85 people, mostly in the town of Paradise, generating billions of dollars in insurance claims and bankrupting the state’s largest utility, PG&E.

By the time California’s 2018 fire season was over, it had burned more than 1.6 million acres to become the most destructive on record—a title it maintained for slightly less than 20 months, when it was overtaken not by the 2020 fire season but by a mere four weeks in late summer 2020, during which an estimated 3 million acres burned. But that’s not the truly worrisome part. In making sense of Western wildfires, total acres burned are far less important than the increasingly capricious violence of our most extreme blazes. It is as if we’ve crossed some threshold of climate and fire fuel into an era of uncontrollable conflagrations.

“Not only is the size and severity increasing, but the nature of fire is changing,” says David Saah, director of Pyregence, a group of fire-science labs and researchers collaborating on the problem. Still more concerning, given the trend toward fires dramatically more catastrophic than anything we’ve yet seen: The physics of large-scale wildfires remain so poorly understood that fire-modeling software is often effectively powerless to predict where they will next occur, much less how they will unfold once they do. If there is any good news, it is that, as Saah puts it, “the science for a lot of this stuff is under way.”

Eric Knapp has worked for the US Forest Service in Northern California for 16 years.

Photograph: Andres Gonzalez

About a year after the Carr Fire, on a bright June day in 2019, Brandon Collins, a big-jawed fire-science researcher at the University of California, drove a white pickup down a cedar-scented mountain road into the Blodgett Experimental Forest, a 4,000-acre university property near Lake Tahoe where he studies the effect of forest management practices on wildfire risk. All of those practices begin with the inescapable fact that California is flammable. It is hard for us moderns to accept—conditioned, as we are, by Smokey Bear—but fire is every bit as natural and inevitable in the American West as flooding in the Mississippi River Basin and hurricanes in Florida. Fire is not only guaranteed by climate and ecology; it is vital to the health of many ecosystems. The 20th century, in fact, during which large wildfires were far less common in the West than they are today, should properly be seen as the unnatural outlier. Prior to that, and especially before Anglo-American conquest, wildfire burned an estimated 6 million to 13 million acres each year in California, according to one study, far more than even the current record-setting season.

Most of those frequent fires past were different, though, in a critical way: Burning with a shallow flame front, like the early stages of the Carr Fire, they ripped through grass, pine duff, and fallen branches—so-called surface fuels—on the forest floor instead of torching whole trees and leaping crown-to-crown as our biggest fires do today. Those regular surface fires generally kept overall fuel loads so low that each subsequent fire could only do the same—scorch out the understory without harming mature trees. Over time, this sustained forests of old-growth conifers, oak, and madrone widely spaced on carpets of grass and shrubs, which in turn made terrific forage for deer. Indigenous people lit wildfires all over the American West for millennia to manage land for this outcome—with such success that, in the late 19th century, Anglo-American ranchers and even lumbermen adopted the practice.

Collins, to show me what that looked like, stopped the truck at a section of the Blodgett Forest that had been managed for 16 years in the old way, with regular fire. We have all experienced varied responses to landscape, from apprehension at a bleak desert or dark cave to calm in a tropical cove. I can report that a forest, when allowed to burn the way it evolved to burn, feels wonderful, a sun-dappled gallery of enormous sugar pine, Douglas fir, and black oak shading meadow-like ground at once sheltered from weather but open enough to move freely.

The Forest Service, which currently controls about 20 million acres of California, put a well-meaning end to this kind of land management almost from the founding of the agency in 1905. Seeing forest in near-term dollar signs—lumber, watershed, game—and dismissing the idea that wildfire played any positive ecological role, the Forest Service learned to snuff every blaze in every forest as quickly as possible. The wrongheadedness of this approach became obvious to the agency itself by the 1940s, when its researchers began to catch on to the fact that the longer a forest goes without fire, the more fuel will pile up and the worse the blaze will be.

That insight made it into official Forest Service policy by the 1970s, encouraging regional employees to use deliberate controlled burns as a means of keeping fuel loads low. By that point, unfortunately, lumber and paper companies had come around to the burning-is-bad position, as had civilians who disliked smoky air, enjoyed recreation in national forests, and thought of fire in purely destructive terms. Combined with issues of legal liability—who pays for damage to private property caused by prescribed burns on public land?—it all made Forest Service officials understandably reluctant to follow through with any particular prescribed burn. Private property owners, who control California’s other 13 million acres of forest, were (and still are) even less motivated to light their own land ablaze, much less to tolerate a neighbor doing so. CalFire, meanwhile, tasked with responding to every fire on 31 million acres of nonfederal land inside state borders, has, compared to the Forest Service, almost no fuel-management authority. CalFire’s straightforward mandate, for which it spends upward of $2 billion a year and operates more than 700 fire engines and 75 aircraft, is to extinguish every blaze, fast—a job it does extraordinarily well on about 6,400 wildland fires annually.

CalFire chief Brian Estes, who commands firefighting operations for just three of California’s 58 counties, says, “We’re running 400 to 500 fires a year. In the heat of summer, five or six a day—and most you’ll never see. Anytime I have a 911 dispatch to a vegetation fire”—a grass fire, say, on somebody’s lawn—“you’re going to get seven engines, a battalion chief, two bulldozers, two air tankers, an air attack, and two hand crews. They’re going to roll out the barn. But if you do that for a hundred years, and you don’t allow people to do prescribed fire, the fuel just gets more and more dense.”

Collins showed me a graphic example at our next stop, a patch of forest that hadn’t been logged or burned in more than 100 years. Crowded tight with young trees among the big, old ones, it was piled deep not only with surface fuels like pine duff and leaves but so-called ladder fuels, the big fallen branches and shrubs that help surface fire leap up into the crowns and spread more quickly up high. That patch of forest also felt intuitively awful: dark, shadowy, mazelike, and cavernous, the nightmare forest of an old fairy tale.

Flammable as it looked, even forests mismanaged like that patch burned until recently in the historical way, at low severity along the forest floor. As a result, the entire field of wildfire science—including every modeling tool with which firefighters make life-or-death decisions and society structures itself in fire-prone areas—is based on that kind of fire behavior. The core mathematics of this science date to the early 1970s, when a Forest Service researcher named Richard Rothermel used small laboratory fires to produce equations expressing the relationship between wind speed, ground slope, and how fast a fire spreads. Rothermel knew his approach worked properly only for wildfire in light surface fuel like that in his lab—and failed to capture what happened when blazes got into treetops and jumped crown-to-crown. But these so-called Rothermel spread equations were applicable to so many wildfires that the Forest Service quickly developed paper-and-pencil ways for firefighters to plug in numbers for wind and slope angle and make reasonable guesses about how fast and in which direction a fire might spread—in a single heading, on a straight line. Eventually that modeling framework was run on cumbersome supercomputers, then on handheld calculators. In the early 1990s, PC-based software finally allowed firefighters to predict fire spread in two dimensions on a map.

That software, created by a Forest Service scientist named Mark Finney, was severely limited by a lack of mapping and fire-fuel data. It didn’t do much good, in other words, if you couldn’t load it with topographical maps and vegetation data for the fire you needed to fight. Over time, though, other researchers compiled these data sets on their own and shared them with one another until, in 2009, they were available for the entire US. Finney’s software now does such a good job predicting fire spread in light ground fuels that it has become the industry standard, used thousands of times each year by firefighters nationwide. And versions that allow simulation of possible future fires are also used by land managers eager to prevent them.

As early as 1994, though, Finney could see that the contemporary modeling framework had more serious limitations. In central Washington state that year, a large and unusual blaze called the Tyee Creek Fire behaved in ways utterly outside the bounds of Finney’s model. Instead of burning with a shallow flame front that followed wind and terrain, Finney says, “the fire basically spread in three directions, all about the same rate, every day in the afternoon”—as if the wind had somehow blown 360 degrees outward from the center of the fire.

The Tyee Creek Fire also kept its huge central area ablaze for days on end, a somewhat speculative phenomenon known as mass fire. “It would just kind of bulge out and put up a giant plume, and then just expand, expand, expand, every day,” Finney says. “I remember thinking, ‘Wow, this is so much beyond anything that we are able to model now, it’d be silly to even try.’”

Finney realized that no amount of modification to the Rothermel spread equations could ever make them account for a fire like Tyee Creek. Not only had they been developed around small lab fires, but 20 years’ experience using them had focused on shallow flame fronts moving quickly through light fuel, with no accounting for slow-burning heavy fuels ignited along the way, much less feedback between ground fire and the immediate atmosphere. Put another way, as Finney recalls saying to a colleague at the time, “the truth is, we have no idea how this stuff really works.”

To chip away at the problem, starting in the early 2000s, Finney went back to first principles, assuming nothing. He lit new experimental fires at a research station in Missoula, Montana, and revisited basic questions like whether wildfire spreads through simple heat radiation—conventional wisdom at the time—or through direct contact with flames.

“It’s a very hard problem,” Finney says, “because if you’ve ever sat around a campfire and watched it, the thing that keeps you transfixed is that the flames are always dancing around. How do you characterize such a nonsteady phenomenon in order to model it?” Light ground fuels, Finney learned, caught fire strictly through convection, and typically consumed themselves in 30 seconds or less at about 1,500 degrees. Heavy fuel like logs and fallen trees would smolder or glow with embers for hours or days, releasing heat all that time. They tended to burst into flaming combustion, quickly releasing their stored energy, under sustained wind. Like when you blow on a campfire.

While conducting that basic research, Finney happened across a book titled Fire and the Air War, about Allied bombing campaigns during World War II. He learned that British and American commanders, while pressing the war against the Germans and Japanese, had discovered that it was easier to burn cities down than to blow them up. The trick lay in first knocking the buildings over, then lighting them on fire. The Royal Air Force did just that to the German city of Dresden in 1945. Military intelligence officers studied recon photographs to identify older districts built largely of wood, then saturation-bombed them with high explosives. A second wave of aircraft hit those same districts with more than 2 million pounds of magnesium-thermite incendiary bombs. This had the desired effect of lighting the city afire, but it also triggered something unexpected. Shortly after all those buildings got to burning—30 minutes after, as it happened—a single giant plume of heat and smoke rose over Dresden, and took on a shape similar to a giant thunderstorm.

The Dresden firestorm famously produced hurricane-force winds powerful enough to uproot giant trees and snap them in half, suck up roof gables and furniture, and send countless humans flying like fallen leaves into the whirling fire tornado. Before it was done, that firestorm wholly incinerated several square miles of city.

Finney also unearthed a stack of obscure research reports, published during the Cold War, that analyzed the Dresden firestorm and a similar one above Hiroshima after the detonation of the atomic bomb (yet again, roughly 30 minutes after). One of these reports, commissioned by the Defense Nuclear Agency, compared bombing-induced firestorms with those generated by natural disasters, like during a 1923 Tokyo earthquake when a flaming cyclone lifted floating boats up off a river—and the river water itself nearly 50 feet into the air—before hitting a military depot in which 40,000 people had taken refuge, killing nearly all of them.

Yet another of these reports, titled Mass Fire and Fire Behavior and published by the Forest Service in 1964, looked at what might happen if a national forest got hit by a nuclear weapon. Detonation of a multimegaton warhead, the authors calculated, could simultaneously ignite as much as 1,200 square miles and cause a firestorm that ultimately burned out 10,000 square miles. The researchers involved were well aware that naturally occurring wildfires could, at least theoretically, cause the same level of damage. This was particularly frightening in light of the population boom in fire-prone wildlands out West. To better understand the risk, the Forest Service conducted a series of gigantic live tests in which, on federal land in Northern California, they laid out street grids similar to those in both urban and suburban neighborhoods. Each home site in these neighborhoods was piled with wildland fuel—juniper and pinyon trees, in one case—and set ablaze. This not only produced small tornadoes; it also confirmed that mass fires of wildland fuel burn in ways remarkably similar to the firestorms of World War II.

As he read all this stuff, Finney told me, something clicked. “I realized, ‘Oh, my gosh, we’re creating the conditions for mass fires,’” he says. “These fires aren’t just big because of, say, climate change or some accident. They’re big because we have a landscape full of long-burning heavy fuels, just like cities.”

A fire smolders in August in Healdsburg, California, part of a complex of blazes that burned nearly 400,000 acres in the area.

Photograph: Ian Bates

The key ingredient in a firestorm, whether in a wartime bombing campaign, a plume-driven fire like the Carr, or a wind-driven fire like the one that destroyed Paradise, appears to be the simultaneous burning of many small fires in a combination of light and heavy fuels over a large area with light ambient wind. As that broad area continues to burn with glowing and smoldering embers over many hours, the separate convective columns of all those many little fires begin to join into a single, giant plume. As the hot air in that plume rises, something has to replace the air at its base—more air, that is, sucked in from all directions. This can create a 360-degree field of wind howling directly into the blaze with the same effect as vents on a forge, oxygenating the fire and pushing temperatures high enough to flip even heavy fuels (giant construction timbers, mature trees) into full-blown flaming combustion. Those heavy fuels then pump still more heat into the convective column, creating a feedback loop: The column rises ever faster and sucks in more wind, as if the fire has found a way to stoke itself.

That seems to be what happened during the Carr Fire. According to Neil Lareau, an atmospheric physicist at the University of Nevada, a weather balloon released on the morning of July 26 detected a lid of warm air, known as an inversion layer, several thousand feet above the Sacramento Valley.

While Knapp settled into work at his office, this inversion layer trapped the Carr Fire’s heat plume near the ground. But as the day wore on, the heat plume forced its way to higher altitudes, steadily cooling.

About the time Knapp jogged out to the river to get a view of the fire, this plume reached 18,000 feet, high enough for water vapor, carried aloft, to condense into liquid cloud droplets, spawning a pyrocumulonimbus, or fire-generated rotating thundercloud. That process of condensing hot vapor or steam into liquid releases heat; you can think of it as the inverse of the cooling effect caused by evaporation, like we’ve all felt emerging from a swimming pool into wind. In the case of the fire plume, this condensation of water vapor into liquid cloud droplets delivers new heat to the plume itself, causing it to rise even faster and higher.

Back down at ground level, meanwhile, the rising plume pulled in new air by sucking at those two preexisting wind fields, the ones that Knapp noticed blowing into the fire, out of the south and northwest, respectively. Blowing toward one another at an askew angle and intersecting at the flame front, those two winds wrapped around each other and drew in flame to create a whirling vortex of fire. The higher the plume rose, the faster the vortex spun. Lareau likened it to a figure skater: “The skater starts a slow rotation with their arms out wide, and they draw their arms inward and maybe put them up over their head, and they suddenly start rotating very, very quickly.”

As the fire tornado splintered homes and launched flaming debris into the sky over Knapp, it set up one of the most dangerous of plume-driven phenomena—the raining of firebrands. A classic surface-driven wildfire ignites only the immediate area crossed by the fire’s own shallow flame front; falling firebrands, by contrast, allow plume-driven fires to propagate miles from the core burn, as if launching incendiary bombs to ignite entirely new mass fires like the one that burst up around Knapp.

Fires of this type can be nearly impossible to suppress, because they can move too quickly for firefighters to get out of harm’s way and burn too hot to extinguish, but also because so many people in the West have settled in places where these fires are increasingly occurring—the wildland urban interface, or WUI (pronounced woo-ee), exurban sprawl in California’s many mountain ranges.

“We have crammed millions and millions of people and roads and homes and yards into this highly volatile Mediterranean climate,” says CalFire chief Estes, who grew up in the town of Paradise. Worse, Estes says, enormous numbers of these people have gravitated to quaint old Gold Rush towns that, like Paradise, happen to sit atop river and creek drainages where wildfire fuel accumulates and winds tend to blow especially hard.

“If you roll a map of California out,” Estes says, “I can give you 150 communities that have exactly the same combination of factors as Paradise.”

In every one of those communities, according to Estes, “when we have disastrous fires, we have to get those people out, and that makes it so much more complex, I can’t even tell you.” For at least the first 16 hours of the Camp Fire in his hometown, Estes adds, firefighters were mostly just pulling residents out of homes and using bulldozers to clear roads blocked with cars abandoned by drivers who’d gotten trapped in traffic and fled on foot. During that whole period, Estes says, “there was not a single fire engine fighting that fire. They were all trying to rescue people.”

Knapp took this photo of the Carr Fire in Redding as it began to twist itself into what would become one of the strongest fire tornadoes on record.

Photograph: Eric Knapp

The final elephant in the room, of course, is climate change—and the likelihood that it is already pushing even our current nightmares toward holocausts beyond imagining. Knapp, Finney, Collins, and several other researchers (most of whom are now involved in Pyregence, the fire-science consortium) have already identified an especially frightening way in which that might happen. Current climate-change patterns suggest we are headed for ever-less winter snowfall in the West, with hotter summers, ever-worsening droughts, and ever-more acute spells of extreme fire weather—long periods of dry heat that bake moisture out of grass and trees, combined with winds ferocious enough to whip even a small spark into a conflagration. The collapse of commercial logging, meanwhile, mostly due to environmental regulation, has combined with our collective intolerance for prescribed burns (nobody likes smoky air) to let forests grow unnaturally dense with young trees. More trees means more roots competing for the same underground water. During the drought of 2011 to 2016 in California, that competition, with help from bark beetles, killed a breathtaking 150 million trees in the largest mass die-off ever recorded in the United States.

Nobody knows how all those dead trees will affect wildfire. Initial research suggested that tree mortality would moderately increase risk of severe fire for several years, as dry needles helped fire spread crown-to-crown instead of just along the forest floor. Once all those pine needles fell, which appears to be happening now, risk of severe fire was expected to decrease for a while. The scariest part was thought to lie at least 10 or 15 years in the future, when all 150 million dead trees—an estimated 95 million bone-dry tons of firewood—were expected to fall on top of an already deep kindling pile of fine conifer duff heaped with small twigs and ever larger tree branches. At that point, we would have collectively prepared the entire western slope of the Sierra Nevada, through more than a century’s work with taxpayer dollars ostensibly aimed at preserving wilderness and the economic value of wood, to incinerate in the greatest firestorm ever seen by human beings.

Neither this horrifying long-term risk nor the overall trend toward increasingly destructive fires has been lost on the California state government, which is how Pyregence came into being. Coordinated by Saah from the University of San Francisco, Pyregence has set out to create an entirely new software ecosystem, including for mass fires and plume-driven megafires. The idea is partly to help firefighters respond and partly to help the rest of us make smart decisions about urban planning and fuel treatments like prescribed burns. The overall challenge is too big and urgent for any single lab, so Pyregence has divided it up into a sort of distributed Manhattan Project of collaborative fire-modeling research.

Finney has joined a Pyregence working group studying the behavior of large woody fuels piled deep, like in our National Forests out West. Field researchers have gone out and taken detailed measurements of wildfire fuel beds, while Finney, back in Montana, has commissioned the construction of a new burn chamber the size of a grain silo. Once complete, that chamber will let him replicate wildfire fuel beds by piling logs and other material as much as a few feet deep. He will then ignite them, hit them with wind and moisture, and quantify their burn rate and energy-release rate—what he calls the “heat-engine part of mass fires.”

“Really what we’re looking for,” Finney says, “is how these things transition to flaming. Instead of just smoldering on the forest floor, how do they become actively involved in these large fires?”

If all goes well, Finney’s working group will eventually code three-dimensional digital simulations of various wildland fuel beds—digital cubes, in essence, not unlike Minecraft voxels—that can be stacked and arranged in infinite variation across landscapes generated by GIS mapping data.

Yet another group, led by Janice Coen of the National Center for Atmospheric Research, has split California into eight fire regions and studied severe past blazes in each. By analyzing how and when those blazes spread, Coen’s team has identified days when fire grew at exceptional speeds, then combed weather-station and satellite data for two related sets of data: local weather conditions like hot local winds that are consistently associated with extreme fire growth; and large-scale weather patterns 500 miles wide and more that are consistently associated with those local conditions. The hope is to create a meteorological early warning system for extreme fire weather in every region. Coen has already run proof-of-concept testing with an experimental model called Coupled Atmosphere Wildland Fire Environment, or CAWFE (pronounced coffee). An atmospheric weather simulator coupled with fire-spread algorithms, CAWFE has allowed Coen to plug in the precise local and large-scale weather that occurred around past events like, say, the Carr Fire. She has even triggered fire ignition at the exact point where the Carr Fire began and watched the fire tornado spin up on its own. The hope, according to Saah, who serves also as managing principal of the environmental think tank Spatial Informatics Group, is someday to supplement the fire-spread component of CAWFE with a fuel model like the one Finney hopes to produce, accounting for the enormous additional heat contributed by long-burning heavy fuels under open flaming combustion. By then feeding in live real-time weather data, Pyregence should someday be able to produce, for the first time, accurate near-term predictions of extreme plume-driven mass fire all over California.

At UC Merced, meanwhile, a climate researcher named LeRoy Westerling leads a Pyregence group tackling the crucial long-term problem of how to prevent apocalyptic fires in the future. This becomes especially pressing, says Westerling, when you consider that every future fire season in the American West is likely to be worse than the last, on average. “How do you adapt to that? It’s not just California,” he says. “It would be the whole West Coast and the Rockies and parts of Canada and Alaska all going off on a regular basis. So just the magnitude of managing fires over that geographical scale simultaneously is staggering, right down to the psychological impact of living with that.” By way of solution, Westerling’s group is even now developing what Saah calls “statistical machine-learning monstrosities”—big simulation engines that will allow researchers to run various long-range climate scenarios in which ground fuel, regular fire, and even land-management practices like prescribed burns interact with each other. In an ideal world, this will let policymakers ask questions like, If we get stuck with doomsday-level climate change but do lots of smart prescribed burning while allowing only fire-hardened home construction in the mountains, what might the firestorms of 50 years from now look like?

The aftermath of a blaze started by a dry thunderstorm in August, near Napa, California.

Photographs: Ian Bates

California’s catastrophic 2020 wildfire season kicked off midway through the hottest August on record with a dry thunderstorm in which 12,000 lighting strikes ignited hundreds of fires over the course of a week. Three were among the state’s largest of all time by early September, when hard northeasterly winds blew them into an entirely new realm of superlatives. Near the Blodgett Forest, those northeasterlies pushed the relatively small Bear Fire into a giant pyrocumulonimbus storm; in the space of 24 hours, it ripped across 230,000 acres, one of the largest single-day fire spreads ever observed, destroying hundreds of structures and killing 15 people. Across the Sacramento Valley, those same winds fused other wildfires into the gargantuan August Complex, the state’s all-time biggest fire by nearly a factor of two, at more than 850,000 acres.

Still more astonishing is the Creek Fire, which ignited on September 4 in an area with a lot of dead trees in the southern Sierra Nevada. By the very next day, a huge pyrocumulonimbus formed and helped burn 115,000 acres through so many popular lakes and cabins and campgrounds—somehow tearing gigantic live trees out of the ground and hurling them across roads—that more than 360 people and 16 dogs got trapped on the shores of the Mammoth Pool Reservoir. That, in turn, forced the California National Guard to rescue hundreds of people overnight in military helicopters, something that had never been done before.

“That’s a weird beast,” says Saah of the Creek Fire. “In our research group, there’s so much conversation around that specific fire, because it’s doing things that are just out of the norm.” Among the most peculiar was the fact that energy release across the Creek Fire’s vast center remained just as hot and high as along its periphery. This classic hallmark of mass fire may well mean that the scary part—the future in which 150 million dead trees go up in flames—is already upon us. “If you look at satellite images of the Creek Fire,” says Saah, “it looks like a nuclear bomb went off. It’s crazy—just its behavior and its intensity and how fast it grew.”

Lareau, the atmospheric physicist, was dumbfounded too. “I’m just kind of at a loss for words,” he says. “Having looked at plenty of big fires that produced big pyrocumulonimbus clouds in the Sierra, I mean, this thing just blows everything out of the water. Instead of the cloud going to 40,000 feet, it’s going to more than 50,000 feet. It’s producing long-lived tornado-strain vortices for periods of hours.”

Those vortices knocked huge live trees to the ground in circular patterns, some inside a campground and others onto roads, blocking escape routes. The fire’s plume also generated lightning on and off for 12 hours, and another unusual behavior known as plume collapse in which all that hot rising air, upon cooling up high, suddenly reverses direction into a powerful downdraft toward the middle of the blaze, forcing fire outward in all directions, igniting huge new swaths of land.

“It stands out to me as potentially one of the most intense firestorms we’ve ever seen,” Lareau says. “I think it’s in many ways a way more intense fire than the Carr Fire was.”

For Knapp, of course, no fire is ever likely to be more intense than the Carr. Especially that moment when he found himself in the middle of a blazing patch of bark chips while burning firebrands ignited homes all around. At that point, Knapp told me recently, “I just had to recognize I didn’t have all my safety equipment, I wasn’t attached to any firefighting resource”—there was nobody to call for help—“and I had a family on the other side of town.”

Heading for his car, Knapp drove right into a traffic jam of terrified neighbors. Slowly, with that tornado roaring overhead and their own homes afire all around, they inched their way down the road to safety. The next day, Knapp drove back to look at Derksen’s house. More than 60 homes in her neighborhood had been destroyed overnight, including the one right next door. A single ember made it through a ground-level screen vent at Derksen’s place, slowly igniting a floor board. It appeared that, before this fire could burn out of control, passing firefighters had snuffed it out.

The scene was “intense and sad,” as Knapp put it, not least because he and everyone else—unable to see the forest for the trees—had been so unaware of how much danger they were in.

Daniel Duane (@Danielduane) is the author of six books. He’s at work on the next, about the Sierra Nevada. His last story for WIRED, about San Francisco’s response to the pandemic, was in issue 28.09.

Cover photograph by Kevin Cooley/Redux

Lettering by Cymone Wilder

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pindaleng · 6 years

Text

Asks Part 2 - 150 asks

blackdowning asked:

all of the taylor asks please and also all of the 150 asks from a couple days ago thanks

Get ready for a ride

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

Teasingly with my friend Holly

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Shy af

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

My bestie @blackdowning :’)

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I think so! Unless we’re good enough friends that all I do is find ways to antagonize you

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Romantic “like”? Hope so but don’t know them that well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

People with really nice smiles and laughs and have a great sense of humor because help me if I have to explain memes or can’t make them laugh (because I’m hilarious)

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Lol no way

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Thinking of what to text @blackdowning

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Yikes

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My roommates!

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

"New year old me my bed is probs gross now“

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

King of My Heart - Taylor Swift

Bad At Love (Stripped) - Halsey

Over You - Miranda Lambert

Over You - Ingrid Michaelson, A Great Big World

Can I Be Him - James Arthur

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Um idk, if I’m comfortable with them?

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yupperdoodles :)

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Discovered Wynonna Earp and Carmilla :’)

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Yikes nope

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Yessir

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

LOL nope but he likes my Facebook roasts to our mutual friend sometimes

19. Do you like bubble baths?

What kind of person doesn’t??

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Don’t know my apartment neighbors but maybe the ones across the hall could smoke less weed that’d be great

21. What are you bad habits?

Scratching my head and releasing dandruff, rubbing my face as it’s peeling, shaking my leg, staying up late doing nothing, procrastinating, etc.

22. Where would you like to travel?

Want to go to Japan one day! But otherwise not sure. Europe in general, Australia, Canada? Places with good food and comfortable living arrangements.

23. Do you have trust issues?

Why is this question in so many asks yes I do move on what a clingy question jeez

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Going on tumblr

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

...all of it? :’)

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Grumble about being awake

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Uhhh I think I’m pretty okay with how it is rn

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My besties

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Yikes no thank goodness

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Probably! #TaxBenefits

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

Yeps!

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Um threesome friendship? Elise Bauman and Natasha Negovanlis cuz I’d be a third party observer as they forget about me and just get to watch them be super great all the time

33. Spell your name with your chin.

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

In a badminton class rn! I’ve also played sports for funzies like tennis, volleyball, swimming, and basketball

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

Heck that’s hard. Without TV? Especially if they couldn’t have music in them. But like I’m such tv fandom trash it would be so hard.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Hahha yes

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Um nothing or how’s it going or

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Super funny. Great listener. Eye crinkles when they smile/laugh. Bright smile. Laugh that makes flowers grow. Driven.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

There was a store in Epcot Japan that I could spend like my entire life in. Craft stores, and department stores with plaid/button ups/dressy clothes

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Um in college rn so... college?

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Yuggerduggers

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m either super exhausted or irritated or uninterested

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yess’m because I get unreasonably bothered when people don’t smile at me cuz then I think I did something wrong lmao

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Um bottom of the ocean like under a bajillion pounds of water how cool is that

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Responsibility and food

46. What are you paranoid about?

SO MANY THINGS.

47. Have you ever been high?

Tried but didn’t work

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Erp yep

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Um secret projects

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Maroon

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

All the time??

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

Me? :’)

53. Favourite makeup brand?

Uh covergirl? Don’t really wear makeup

54. Favourite store?

Teeturtle (online store) has pretty nifty stuff

55. Favourite blog?

@blackdowning

56. Favourite colour?

Red

57. Favourite food?

Sushi

58. Last thing you ate?

White Cheddar Cheez-its

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Milk with instant coffee, but first actual food PB&J

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Once was a winner of a letter to santa competition my local newspaper hosted when I was a kiddo and got a stuffed bear

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nope I’m too much of a goody two shoes

62. Been arrested? For what?

For stealing people’s hearts ;) jk never been arrested

63. Ever been in love?

Don’t think so

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

Was leaving their house and then awkwardly talked for forty minutes by their door then fill in the blank

65. Are you hungry right now?

I literally always am so

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Um tumblr friends r real friends

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

70. Names of your bestfriends?

Internet and Food

71. Craving something? What?

Sushi and love

72. What colour are your towels?

Red and pink

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Just one

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

I have some on my bed!

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Ummm 15-20?

75. Favourite animal?

Pandas

76. What colour is your underwear?

Wouldn’t you like to know ;)

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Mint Chocolate Chip

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Pink

80. What colour pants?

Blue jeans

81. Favourite tv show?

Supergirl

82. Favourite movie?

Ugh hard one I don’t really have a fave. I really like Now You See Me1 and 2, the Pitch Perfects, The Carmilla Movie, Almost Adults, The Big Short, Polar Express, and I’m sure I’m messing some

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Who tf likes Mean Girls 2 better??????????

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Karen

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Crush?

87. First person you talked to today?

My roommate Holly

88. Last person you talked to today?

So far, my other roommates Hope and Victoria

89. Name a person you hate?

Nick St. Clair

90. Name a person you love?

Betty Cooper

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Anybody I want to fite sum1

92. In a fight with someone?

Don’t think so

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Many many

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Also many lots love sweaters and hoodies

95. Last movie you watched?

How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days

96. Favourite actress?

Just one???

97. Favourite actor?

uhhh Chris Wood maybe? Tom Hanks?

98. Do you tan a lot?

Did when I played tennis in high school

99. Have any pets?

No :(

100. How are you feeling?

Great B)

101. Do you type fast?

Decently quick!

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

SO MANY but also trying to just accept it instead of feel bad about it

103. Can you spell well?

W-E-L-L

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yessss

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Um not like super cool burning couches and ten feet tall fires but just chill roasting marshmallows ones yeah

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Probsa

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yes! It was fun

108. What should you be doing?

Studying for exams stop attacking me

109. Is something irritating you right now?

I’m tired and IT’S SO FRICKEN COLD OUTSIDE

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Hm I don’t think so

111. Do you have trust issues?

I'm against monopolies so you could say I have issues with trust (anti-trust get it haha I’m hilarious give me money)

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

@blackdowning

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Awk didn’t really have one

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yupps!

115. Do you play the Wii?

Uh duh it’s great

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Mmmhmm

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Who doesn’t?

118. Do you like Chinese food?

YES

119. Favourite book?

Freakonomics

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Kinda

121. Are you mean?

Average ye

122. Is cheating ever okay?

I use google all the time for my hws so I hope so

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Lol no my white shoes rn are getting pretty dirty

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yes <3

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yes <3 <3

126. Are you currently bored?

Yes but I also have a heck ton of stuff I need to do oop

127. What makes you happy?

Making other people laugh/smile

128. Would you change your name?

If it would make it sound cooler yah

129. What your zodiac sign?

Gemini

130. Do you like subway?

Delish I might get some soon

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Lmao

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Literally this was already a question who made this

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

London girl with an attitude We never told no one but we look so cute Both got way better things to do But I always think about it when I'm riding through - Bad at Love by Halsey

134. Can you count to one million?

Is that before or after seven

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Idk if it’s the dumbest but in an interview I said I knew what a company did and then said it wrong but they hired me anyways so who rly won

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed

137. How tall are you?

5′4″?

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Straight in reference to hair

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Brunette? Closer to black hair

140. Summer or Winter?

Summer

141. Night or Day?

Night

142. Favourite month?

June

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Nah

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Dark chocolate ftw

145. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee

146. Was today a good day?

Yeah :)

147. Mars or Snickers?

Um Milky Way should count under Mars right

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“No matter what happens in life, be good to people. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

How else do u explain how a russian nesting doll ended up in my apartment freezer when neither me nor my roommates did it.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

Uh literally don’t have a book near me rn might update later when I find one

#blackdowning #asks #sorry this took forever

1 note · View note

ashtenstitches · 7 years

Note

Answer them all

omg i mean i asked for this

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

--Honestly my cat. Otherwise I can’t think of anyone else.

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

--Shy but outgoing when I get to know someone

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

--This awesome guy who is incredible. His name is Alfredo. Fettuccine Alfredo.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

--I’d like to think so

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

--Well I sure hope so!! I already took care of her ;)

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

--The kind that are you

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

--I sure hope so!!!!!!

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

--My beautiful cat who is perfect in every way shape and form

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

--Only if it’s with family lmao

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

--My cutie girlfriend

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

--”Then I got sent to voicemailllllllll”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

--Out Loud by Gabbie Hanna, Best Part by Daniel Caesar feat H.E.R., The Wolves (Act I and II) by Bon Iver, Cherry Wine by Hozier, When by Dodie Clark

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

--YES

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

--I mean kind of lol I’m pretty unlucky so luck has to be real

15. What good thing happened this summer?

--I got my first client!! And it didn’t come out terrible!!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

--Absolutely

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

--Oh yeah! We can’t be the only things in this GIANT UNIVERSE

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

--Nope

19. Do you like bubble baths?

--I love them

20. Do you like your neighbors?

--I don’t really know them but the ones across the street gave us a watermelon when we first moved in

21. What are your bad habits?

--I don’t sleep at a great time, I don’t floss as often as I should, and I bite my nails

22. Where would you like to travel?

--I really wanna go to Australia! But I also wanna go to the other Hawaiian islands.

23. Do you have trust issues?

--Not as much as before

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

--Eating then sleeping

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

--My feet

26. What do you do when you wake up?

--I pee

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

--My skin is a nice shade of pale white and I’m cool with it

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

--My girlfriend and my family and a few friends

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

--Only one but I was like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

30. Do you ever want to get married?

--Yes pls

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

--Yessss

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

--Orlando Bloom and Kristen Stewart

33. Spell your name with your chin.

--aqshtednb

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

--Have you seen me....no

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

--TV

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

--Yes

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

--I just make weird faces

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

-- @playswithsquirrlz

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

--Forever 21 I don’t care how cheap some stuff looks ok I love it also Victoria’s Secret. Also like...amazon

40. What do you want to do after high school?

--It’s been 4 years....and I’m finally doing what I wanted so

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

--No

42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean?

--I’m tired/hungry/not comfortable

43. Do you smile at strangers?

--Sure

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

--Outer space. Who knows what scary ass creatures are at the bottom of the ocean

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

--The need to pee

46. What are you paranoid about?

--People breaking into my house, sharp pains in my body meaning that I’m dying, just the usual.

47. Have you ever been high?

--Yeeeeee

48. Have you ever been drunk?

--Nahhhhhh I don’t like alcohol really

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

--No I don’t think so lol

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

--Probably gray since that’s all I own lol

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

--Yes

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

--My lack of motivation. If I had more motivation I would be so fit rn lol

53. Favourite makeup brand?

--Wet n Wild has been awesome lately

54. Favourite store?

--Michaels lmao

55. Favourite blog?

--My own

56. Favourite colour?

--Purple

57. Favourite food?

--Either the vegan nacho cheese I make or the vegan mushroom sandwich

58. Last thing you ate?

--Nachos

59. First thing you ate this morning?

--Nachos......

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

--No I didn’t but I was the only one in my class to get a 100% on my final to phase out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

--Nah I was a good student

62. Been arrested? For what?

--Nope

63. Ever been in love?

--Yeah I guess you could say that :P

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

--I was in 8th grade and had been dating this guy off an on for 3 years and it was the last day of school. We met at the basketball courts and everyone watched us kiss and I was like wtf so we kissed again lmao

65. Are you hungry right now?

--Not really

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

--I love all my friends!

67. Facebook or Twitter?

--Twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

--Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

--Nope

70. Names of your bestfriends?

--Angelica, Tiffany, Brittni, Robbi

71. Craving something? What?

--Mushrooms

72. What colour are your towels?

--Beige and towel

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

--One technically but I also have my body pillow

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

--Nope

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

--A couple

75. Favourite animal?

--Cat. Any kind. Big or small. Or sharks

76. What colour is your underwear?

--Blue

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

--Chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

--The PB & Cookies from Ben & Jerrys

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

--Gray

80. What colour pants?

--Navy blue

81. Favourite tv show?

--AHS or Skins UK

82. Favourite movie?

--Now Is Good

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

--Mean Girls of course

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

--Mean Girls lmao

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

--Karen

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

--Crush

87. First person you talked to today?

--Angelica

88. Last person you talked to today?

--Well my day is still going

89. Name a person you hate?

--Donald Trump

90. Name a person you love?

-- @playswithsquirrlz

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

--Any nazi

92. In a fight with someone?

--Myself

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

--Probs like 2

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

--So many

95. Last movie you watched?

--Remember Me

96. Favourite actress?

--Kristen Stewart

97. Favourite actor?

--Orlando Bloom

98. Do you tan a lot?

--I wish

99. Have any pets?

--Where do I start

100. How are you feeling?

--Pretty good

101. Do you type fast?

--I type 68 words per minute

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

--Of course

103. Can you spell well?

--Autocorrect would tell me otherwise

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

--Just old friends

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

--Yes

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

--Oh yeah

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

--Sure have

108. What should you be doing?

-- @playswithsquirrlz

109. Is something irritating you right now?

--Hmm nothing actually wow it’s a miracle!

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

--Yeah

111. Do you have trust issues?

--.........nah

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

--My dad

113. What was your childhood nickname?

--Ash

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

--Yeah

115. Do you play the Wii?

--Not anymore

116. Are you listening to music right now?

--Nope

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

--I like faux chicken noodle soup

118. Do you like Chinese food?

--Oh yeah

119. Favourite book?

--The Lovely Bones

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

--Not anymore

121. Are you mean?

--Yeah jk no

122. Is cheating ever okay?

--Heck no

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

--Nope

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

--Eh

125. Do you believe in true love?

--Yes

126. Are you currently bored?

--Eh not really

127. What makes you happy?

--My cat. Food. My girlfriend. Hawaii

128. Would you change your name?

--Yeah but I won’t lmao

129. What your zodiac sign?

--Aquarius

130. Do you like subway?

--Nah

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

--I remind them that I’m gay af

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

--Angelica

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

--”You’re the coffee that I need in the morning, you’re my sunshine in the rain when it’s pouring....”

134. Can you count to one million?

--Who has time for that

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

--That I liked boys lmao

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

--Closed

137. How tall are you?

--5′ 4″ or so

138. Curly or Straight hair?

--I have inbetween but I like all hair

139. Brunette or Blonde?

--What about all colors

140. Summer or Winter?

--Winter but I like wearing crop tops

141. Night or Day?

--Night

142. Favourite month?

--October

143. Are you a vegetarian?

--Even better....I’m a vegan

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

--Dark is p good

145. Tea or Coffee?

--Love me a cuppa joe

146. Was today a good day?

--It has been so far

147. Mars or Snickers?

--Neither

148. What’s your favourite quote?

--May the flowers remind us/why the rain was so necessary - xan oku

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

--Oh yeah

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

--Dudley gently released himself from his mother’s clutches and walked toward Harry, who had to repress an urge to threaten him with magic.

1 note · View note

artificialcats · 7 years

Note

1 - 150

omg thanks answers under the cut bc this is going to b long

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

tbh dont even remember but ive never like, held hands w anyone ~romantically~ or w/e

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

SHY but i have my more outgoing moments every once in a while

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Quinn!!! and my other friends and my sister back home :-) and my cat

4. Are you easy to get along with?

uhh idk? i guess?

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

tbh dont know

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

nice ones. cute ones. ones interested in the same stuff as me ?

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

my friend did a tarot reading for me a week ago and when i asked if id have a gf this year the answer was not good lmao so doubtful

8. Who from another gender is on your mind?

idk?

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

im p indifferent

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

tbh my memory is garbage idk

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“signing tomorrow at 3:30″ cryptic out of context

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

the traveller- beach house (just walked to it in a fashion show! its good), boyfriend--best coast, sleepover--hayley kiyoko, forever (pt II)--snakehips, and a variety of tennis songs i cant choose from

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

not particularly

15. What good thing happened this summer?

last summer i got to do a bunch of fun stuff w different friends!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

ive never kissed anyone before LMAO (last “person” ive ever kissed was my cat on the head and ya id do that again)

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

I MEAN like the universe is so expansive theres no way theres NOT some other form of life out there

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

lmao no

19. Do you like bubble baths?

nah i dont like baths

20. Do you like your neighbors?

at home yes (QUINN!!) and no (dont talk to anyone else)

21. What are you bad habits?

nail picking, a lot of other stuff im too tired to list rn

22. Where would you like to travel?

would love to road trip it across the west

23. Do you have trust issues?

maybe? idk

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

moisturizing

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

tbh feeling p good abt my body rn.. maybe my shoulders.. ive always disliked how square they r..

26. What do you do when you wake up?

p much immediately get in the shower

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

never thought abt it

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

my close friends

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

i dont have any exes

30. Do you ever want to get married?

maybe someday but not for a loooong long time

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

im ace so like,, none of them

33. Spell your name with your chin.

losauirtfsa

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

nope. used to play tennis tho

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

probably tv. love music too much

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

HA ofc living that life rn

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

uh probably nothing

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

nice, supportive, is willing to dance around to/sing along w 70s/80s/2000s music w me

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

thrift stores probably.. never know what youre going to find

40. What do you want to do after high school?

well rn im in college and thats p much what i was going for in high school so

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

nah

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

probably just that i dont feel like talking? or im tired

43. Do you smile at strangers?

usually

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

outer space theres some whack stuff in the ocean

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

idk

46. What are you paranoid about?

a looot of things LMAO

47. Have you ever been high?

nope

48. Have you ever been drunk?

nope

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

grey

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

sometimes but usually just in like a ‘they look rlly cool’ or ‘i rlly like their style’ kind of way like just kind of envious

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

probably like, throwing my depression out the window

53. Favourite makeup brand?

dont wear makeup enough lmao

54. Favourite store?

tbh dont rlly have one also this is rlly similar to previous question?

55. Favourite blog?

i love the househunting blog but idk if i rlly have a favorite

56. Favourite colour?

PINK

57. Favourite food?

chicken bc theres so much good stuff u can do w it

58. Last thing you ate?

mini twix bar

59. First thing you ate this morning?

eggs on toast

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

yea won a couple different ones for art related stuff

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

nope

62. Been arrested? For what?

nope

63. Ever been in love?

platonically ya romantically no i dont think so

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

a short one: never happened

65. Are you hungry right now?

no ive been snacking all night lol

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

my tumblr friends p much are my rl friends so,, no

67. Facebook or Twitter?

twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

70. Names of your bestfriends?

quinn

71. Craving something? What?

the sweet warm embrace of my bed

72. What colour are your towels?

one is pastel blue one is black/white/grey stripe

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

two

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

yea. i have a big pusheen plush and at home a mini dino pillow pet n a cat plush

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

like.. 3 i think? i used to have a L O T

75. Favourite animal?

cats

76. What colour is your underwear?

black

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

once i had cardamom n it was rlly rlly good

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

white w blue stripes

80. What colour pants?

jean overalls

81. Favourite tv show?

OOGH rn the getdown, stranger things, parks n rec, x files, downton abbey, charmed, a lot,

82. Favourite movie?

jurassic park

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

neither

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

neither

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

dont have one

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

idk maybe nemo? never rlyl though abt it

87. First person you talked to today?

my mom

88. Last person you talked to today?

my sister

89. Name a person you hate?

idk

90. Name a person you love?

all my friends

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

not anyone i kno personally

92. In a fight with someone?

idk

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

like one pair and i never wear them lmao

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

a couple

95. Last movie you watched?

ella enchanted

96. Favourite actress?

no one comes to mind ?

97. Favourite actor?

idk jeff goldblum?

98. Do you tan a lot?

99. Have any pets?

yes!! two cats

100. How are you feeling?

tired but ok

101. Do you type fast?

i think so yea

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

idk

103. Can you spell well?

im ok

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

kind of but i know we’re so different now we probably wouldnt even get along.. its not a miss i feel all the time tho more of a ‘we knew each other for so long its kind of sad we grew apart’

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

i want to say yes but it wasnt like a party party

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

not that i know

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yes

108. What should you be doing?

my homework

109. Is something irritating you right now?

school. im ready to get out of here

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

i dont think so

111. Do you have trust issues?

wasnt this question already asked

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

my friend steph i think (over the final fantasy ending LMAO)

113. What was your childhood nickname?

i dont think i had one

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yea

115. Do you play the Wii?

not a lot no

116. Are you listening to music right now?

yep (rn its 0 to 100 by drake on shuffle)

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

not really. i like the broth tho

118. Do you like Chinese food?

119. Favourite book?

aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

depends

121. Are you mean?

i try not to be

122. Is cheating ever okay?

nah

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

NO LMAO i have a bad habit of standing on my own feet my white shoes r so gross

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

idk

125. Do you believe in true love?

idk

126. Are you currently bored?

not rlly

127. What makes you happy?

my friends, cats, pink, good food, nature, making my own art, old houses n rooms, lots of stuff

128. Would you change your name?

never thought about it

129. What your zodiac sign?

aries

130. Do you like subway?

not rlly

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

what

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

im p sure this ? was already asked

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

134. Can you count to one million?

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

dont remember but lots of em

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed. i cant sleep w them open

137. How tall are you?

5′10″

138. Curly or Straight hair?

i have straight hair

139. Brunette or Blonde?

im blonde? i dont kno if theses r refering to me or what i prefer on other people?

140. Summer or Winter?

summer

141. Night or Day?

tbh a tie

142. Favourite month?

dont have one!

143. Are you a vegetarian?

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk

145. Tea or Coffee?

neither

146. Was today a good day?

it was ok

147. Mars or Snickers?

no preference

148. What’s your favourite quote?

dont have one

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

i mean i dont not believe in ghosts

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“Grant said “what did you think?”” -Jurassic Park

#thank u mystery anon for distracting me from my hw #long post//#Anonymous

2 notes · View notes

shadowinacorner · 7 years

Text

Bored, so why not!

Lets see if I can answer these. 1: Name Mandy

2: Age 26

3: 3 Fears Spiders Burning alive Bungee jumping

4: 3 things I love Food Accomplishing something productive Sleep

5: 4 turns on Assertiveness Kindness Sense of humor Forwardness

6: 4 turns off Rudeness Narcissism Bad habits Excessive negativity

7: My best friend My buddy Allison

8: Sexual orientation Not big on labels. Bi I guess is a good umbrella term.

9: My best first date Winter formal in ‘05

10: How tall am I I’d say 5'10. I think I technically have been deemed to be 5'7 though.

11: What do I miss Being taken care of as a kid.

12: What time was I born 9am ish I think?

13: Favourite color Purple or black

14: Do I have a crush He’s pretty cute

15: Favourite quote The bird on your shoulder quote from tuesdays with maurie

16: Favourite place My living room (don’t you judge me)

17: Favourite food Pizza

18: Do I use sarcasm Never, who would do such a thing?

19: What am I listening to right now Assasination Classroom

20: First thing I notice in new person Jewelry

21: Shoe size 10.5/11 womens or 9 mens

22: Eye color Brown

23: Hair color Brown. I change it alot and right now it’s got some pink.

24: Favourite style of clothing Modern kinda urbany or punky I guess?

25: Ever done a prank call? Nah. Not my style.

27: Meaning behind my URL Nothing deep

28: Favourite movie Harry Potter I guess

29: Favourite song To the moon and back by Savage Garden

30: Favourite band I couldn’t tell you honestly. I like too many.

31: How I feel right now Tired and unaccomplished

32: Someone I love Mr. Leo Bunny

33: My current relationship status Married

34: My relationship with my parents Strained and unconventional

35: Favourite holiday Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have I have 2 piercings in each ear and 1 cartilage. Also a small tattoo on my upper back.

37: Tattoos and piercing i want I always wanted a eyebrow piercing and the really dainty bullrings are cool. I’d also love to have full sleeves of tattoos but I’ll probably never get another of either.

38: The reason I joined Tumblr My hubby got obsessed with it.

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? Nah, he’s a cool dude and finally forgave me for being a terrible child when I was with him.

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Definitely always get good morning ones since we get up at different times.

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Definitely not. Keagan is probably onr of the few I haven’t actually.

42: When did I last hold hands? Last time Marku and I went to the store I’m sure.

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? No makeup: 5 minutes from bed to car. With basic full makeup a solid half hour. With going out makeup and clothes like 2 hours.

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? Yes! Actually.

45: Where am I right now? Laying in Marku’s bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? Definitely Marku. He usually camps in the bathtub and sets me up on the floor by the toilet.

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Too loud. Always.

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Nopppeeeeee

49: Am I excited for anything? Someday we’re going to travel!

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Definitely Marku.

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Everyyyy dayyyyy. Customer service at it’s finest.

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Earlier today I hugged Keagan, Angie, AND Mark. So many hugs!

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? He might have some ‘splanin to do

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Hmm, yeah probably a couple family members.

55: What is something I disliked about today? I woke up late and didn’t accomplish much

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? I have no idea… maybe bernie?

57: What do I think about most? What I’m doing wrong

58: What’s my strangest talent? Noticing small details (but only when I’m trying. Otherwise I’m oblivious to my surroundings)

59: Do I have any strange phobias? Chalkboards. They freak me out and I can’t touch them.

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind!!!

61: What was the last lie I told? “You don’t have to do that, I can pay for it”

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Neither. But phone if it’s between the too.

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I half believe in ghosts, aliens seem probable but not little green guys.

64: Do I believe in magic? I wishhhhhhh

65: Do I believe in luck? Kinda actually.

66: What’s the weather like right now? Kinda nice actually! Wet but mild.

67: What was the last book I’ve read? Kane chronicals

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Mildly

69: Do I have any nicknames? Mandoo

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I accidentally cut a large chunk out of my ankle when i was a teenager… otherwise no broken bones or anything.

71: Do I spend money or save it? I have a spending problem.

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? No :(

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? My pj pants

74: Favourite animal? Kitties!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Playing on my phone and watching netflix

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I think Satan /is/ his last name lol

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Uh… something pop-y I’m sure.

78: How can you win my heart? Food.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? That I was super nice!

80: What is my favorite word? Totes

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr That I posted? None. I have like no followers that aren’t porn bots.

82: If the whole world was listening to me right now, what would I say? Let’s just all get along

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Not currently

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Shapeshifting

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Depends on who is asking it.

86: What is my current desktop picture? The inside of a midevilish zeldaish tent with a woman lying in the bed.

87: Had sex? Yeap

88: Bought condoms? Yeah. Still awkward no matter how old you get for some reason.

89: Gotten pregnant? Nope

90: Failed a class? Yeah

91: Kissed a boy? A few

92: Kissed a girl? A few

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Not dramatically

94: Had job? For years

95: Left the house without my wallet? Just yesterday

96: Bullied someone on the internet? Nah, not my jam.

97: Had sex in public? Nah

98: Played on a sports team? Plenty of them

99: Smoked weed? Nope, not on my list

100: Did drugs? Never have, never will

101: Smoked cigarettes? Nope, terrible habbit

102: Drank alcohol? On occasion

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Not anymore

104: Been overweight? I am morbidly obese technically atm

105: Been underweight? Once

106: Been to a wedding? A few

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Jesus, is that suppose to be a long time?

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Every weekend

109: Been outside my home country? Nope

110: Gotten my heart broken? Once

111: Been to a professional sports game? Big leagues, no. Minor, yea.

112: Broken a bone? Nope

113: Cut myself? Yea

114: Been to prom? Yeap, twice

115: Been in airplane? Twice

116: Fly by helicopter? Once

117: What concerts have I been to? Hinder, buckcherry, paproach, death cab for cutie

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Yea

119: Learned another language? Started japanese, never went very far

120: Wore make up? Pretty normally

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? At 18 I think

122: Had oral sex? Yea

123: Dyed my hair? Alot

124: Voted in a presidential election? Every year

125: Rode in an ambulance? Sat in one, refused the ride

126: Had a surgery? Just wisdom teeth

127: Met someone famous? Voice actors, and there was a famous guy staying at our wedding hotel that I rode the elevator with. I always forget his name.

128: Stalked someone on a social network? Mildly

129: Peed outside? Ya, camping

130: Been fishing? Mmhm

131: Helped with charity? I actually don’t think so. I’ve donated before.

132: Been rejected by a crush? Never got myself to be in the position to be rejected

133: Broken a mirror? Yeahhh

134: What do I want for your birthday? Yummy food

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? 1-3 & no clue

136: Was I named after anyone? A barry manilow song

137: Do I like my handwriting? No i hate it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? Barbies

139: Favourite Tv Show? I don’t have any active shows atm

140: Where do I want to live when older? Back in my family home

141: Play any musical instrument? I’m not musically inclined in any way

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? Have an L on my finger from slaming and locking my finger in the car door as a kid. I was stuck there for a while.

143: Favourite pizza toping? Sausage

144: Am I afraid of the dark? Nah

145: Am I afraid of heights? A little

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Nope

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Plentybof times

148: What I’m really bad at Doing anything consistently

149: What my greatest achievments are Graduating college

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me There would be a list.

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery Buy out my family home, remodel, set up my inlaws and grandma for life, get a working car, change jobs, and if I had enough I’d set up my parents and college funds too.

152: What do I like about myself My hair

153: My closest Tumblr friend I have some of my best friends irl on here

154: Something I fantasise about Being a normal person

This is way too long. I’m not tagging anyone and bringing this onto them. Yeesh.

#questionaire #personal #long #questions

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jesseneufeld · 4 years

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13 Alternatives to Burpees for When You’re Tired of Doing Burpees

Whenever I’m strapped for time and equipment and still need a solid workout, I turn to the burpee. Burpees are bodyweight exercises, and thus require no equipment or weights. They are full body movements that engage every muscle group, require only as much space as you need to do a pushup, and can be done anywhere. You can do them slowly and methodically, or quick for a sprint-like workout. If you’re ever outdoors and need to warm up fast, a quick set of 15-20 burpees will get your body temperature up faster than anything. The pros go on and on.

Now, I don’t typically bake burpees into my week-to-week workouts. Instead, I resort to a burpee workout when I’m crunched for time, don’t have access to a gym or nice outdoor experience, or am otherwise not feeling a full-on gym workout but still want to train.

The way I usually do them is to go all out for the first 20. Catch my breath (maybe 10-20 second break). Go all out for another 10. Catch my breath. And repeat in sets of 10 reps, until I reach 100 or 150 or 200. So for me, burpee workouts are very intuitive. Rather than go for predetermined reps or rest periods, I let my body determine that stuff in real time. Give it a try. You’ll like it, or hate it, or both.

Reasons you Might Want an Alternative to the Burpee

While burpees are great for all the reasons I listed above, there are some reasons you might want an alternative movement:

Burpees are demanding and relatively complex. Many people start making technique mistakes toward the end of a burpee workout because they’re so fatigued and that can lead to injuries. A crisp, clean burpee is beautiful and safe and effective, but if your knees start caving in on the landing or your lower back starts dipping toward the ground and your elbows start flaring out on the pushups, you’re not just selling your own training short — you’re putting yourself at risk.

Burpees involve three movements people might simply not be able to do. Squats, even bodyweight ones, take a reasonable amount of mobility, flexibility, and coordination. Pushups can be a surprisingly demanding strength exercise when performed with correct form, and many people haven’t jumped in years. Stringing them all together for reps as a conditioning workout is asking a lot.

Burpees get old. Sometimes the last thing you want to do is another regular-old burpee, but you still like the training effect they offer.

So, here is a series of alternatives to burpees that have similar qualities and produce similar results as the burpee. See if you can try them all. Primal Health Coach Brian demonstrates all of these moves in the video at the bottom of this post.

1. Squat Thrusts

youtube

Think burpees without the pushup and the jump. Squat thrusts actually birthed the modern burpee. They involve squatting down to place hands on floor, shooting the legs back to assume the plank position, shooting them forward, then squatting back up. They’re really, really simple and for the first ten or so you’re thinking “These are too easy.” Keep doing them, though, and suddenly you’ll realize you’re getting a great workout.

2. Murpees

youtube

To do the murpee, or modified burpee: instead of shooting your legs back, dropping into an explosive pushup, leaping to your feet and springing upward, and repeating it as quickly as possible, slow everything down and rely on strength and balance instead of sheer momentum.

Slowly lower yourself into a squat until you can place your hands flat on the floor in front of you.

Slowly step back one leg at a time to assume the pushup position.

Do a pushup (some people omit this step).

Slowly, deliberately bring one leg forward, touching knee to elbow and holding it there for a moment. Draw the other leg forward. Place your feet flat on the floor until you’re in the bottom squat position. Each rep, alternate which leg you bring forward first.

Either stand up or jump up. The advantage of doing everything slowly means you can muster more force for the jump and land safely.

Repeat.

Everything is slow and controlled and deliberate.

3. 180 Degree Burpees

youtube

Do a regular burpee with a jump, only instead of jumping in place, turn 180 degrees. Alternate which direction you turn and don’t get sloppy with the landing; the rotational momentum exerts novel forces on your body and requires greater trunk (and really full-body) stability. Beyond that, do these offer a unique training effect over regular burpees? Who knows. These sure are fun, though.

4. Broad Jump Burpees

youtube

Again, it’s a regular burpee with a jump, only instead of jumping in place, you’re broad jumping as far forward as you can. Be sure to do these on a comfortable surface with decent traction. Grass? Good. Wet muddy grass? Probably not. And do fewer of these than you would regular burpees. The maximal effort broad jump really takes a lot out of you and increases the degree of risk.

5. Jumping Jacks

youtube

You haven’t done these in years, right? Jumping jacks probably remind you of gym class, back when you’d do them half-seriously. Today, try doing them for real. Actually jump. Get your hands up there like you mean it.

6. Russian Lunges

youtube

Bodyweight lunges: easy, right? Too easy to approach the conditioning potential of the burpee. But what about jumping lunges? That’s exactly what a Russian lunge is. You lunge with one leg, then spring up and land in a lunge with the other leg forward. Keep doing it, alternating each time. You can even do this while holding a weight plate; just keep it lighter than you’d think would be necessary.

7. Get Up, Stand Ups

youtube

I’m not sure if this is the right name, but it sounds good. You start sitting down on the ground, legs straight, knees together, back tall, hands flat on the ground at your sides. Pop up by pushing off the ground with your hands and bringing your feet underneath you to stand up (throw in a vertical jump here to spice things up). Quickly return to the starting sitting position — without using your hands, if possible — and do it all over again.

8. Kettlebell Swings

youtube

If you’re looking for a self-contained comprehensive workout that will get you stronger, more explosive, and better conditioned without being a burpee, look no further than the kettlebell swing. Sure, you need a piece of equipment — the kettlebell — but I’d argue that the swing is probably safer to do repeatedly for high reps than the burpee. For every one burpee you’d normally do, do three swings.

9. Sandbag Shouldering

youtube

This is another option that requires a single piece of equipment, but it’s one you can make yourself by spending a few bucks at the surplus store and stuffing it with contractor bags filled with sand. Sandbag shouldering is exactly what it sounds like: pick the sandbag up and hoist it up to your shoulder, lower it back to the ground, repeat with the opposite shoulder. Throughout the entire movement, maintain as neutral a spine as possible. It’s essentially a deadlift (picking it up) and power clean (hoisting it up) hybrid exercise that hits almost every muscle in the body. And if you want to throw in some pushing work, you can overhead press the thing once it’s on your shoulder.

No sandbag? Fill a duffel bag with soft weighted objects – emphasis on soft so that you don’t conk yourself in the head.

10. Jump Rope

youtube

For pure conditioning’s sake, few activities beat the jump rope. It’s a mainstay in boxing, MMA, kickboxing, wrestling, and even swimming and endurance running training programs for the simple reason that it just works. Of course, jumping rope is a miserable way to improve one’s conditioning, but that’s a common problem with methods that actually work. Another advantage is that jumping rope is self-limiting. It’s really hard to jump rope with poor technique or hurt yourself doing it because you’ll just catch the rope with your foot or slam it into your shins. If you do it wrong, wrong enough to get into trouble, you won’t be able to actually jump rope.

11. Tabata Squats

youtube

Think air squats are pointless and way too easy? Okay, guy. Try this out: just squat down and back up as many times as you can in 20 seconds, rest for 10 seconds, and repeat the sequence 7 more times.

12. Mountain Climbers

youtube

Sort of like running in place from the pushup position, mountain climbers can destroy you if you’re not careful. Your abs will be sore, your chest will pound, your stamina will increase. If mountain climbers on the ground are too tough, try them on an incline; place your hands on the couch, a coffee table, a bench, or a sturdy chair.

13. Shoulder Tap Planks

youtube

Assume the plank position: arms straight, hands flat, body forming a single unbroken line. Then, ever so slowly, tap your left shoulder with your right hand. Slowly place your right hand back on the ground. Now, tap your right shoulder with your left hand. Return it to rest on the ground. Keep alternating shoulder taps. Go slow and feel the tension in your trunk muscles. Tougher than you thought, eh?

14. Thrusters

youtube

Hold two weighted objects at your shoulders. Bend your knees and lower into a squat, and rise back up to standing. Once your knees are straight again, go right into a shoulder press. These get your heart pumping in no time.

15. Sandbag Clean & Press

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Start in a squat position with the sandbag at your feet. Bending at the elbows, flip the bag upward to touch your chest. Then squat and raise the sandbag over your head. Finish by dropping the sandbag onto the ground, and repeat.

Now, watch all of the moves in action!

youtube

Whether you’re looking to improve mobility, strength, conditioning, or overall fitness, the burpee is a fine choice. But it’s not the only one, or even the best one. If you’re getting tired of burpees, or just want to try something new for a change, give the exercises from today’s post a trial run. I think you’ll like them. Or maybe you’ll hate them, which means they’re probably working.

Let’s hear from you down below. Have you done any of these exercises? How do they compare to burpees? Got any other suggestions for people sick of the burpee?

Thanks for reading, everyone. Take care.

Prefer listening to reading? Get an audio recording of this blog post, and subscribe to the Primal Blueprint Podcast on iTunes for instant access to all past, present and future episodes here.

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lauramalchowblog · 4 years

Text

13 Alternatives to Burpees for When You’re Tired of Doing Burpees

Reasons you Might Want an Alternative to the Burpee

While burpees are great for all the reasons I listed above, there are some reasons you might want an alternative movement:

Burpees get old. Sometimes the last thing you want to do is another regular-old burpee, but you still like the training effect they offer.

1. Squat Thrusts

youtube

2. Murpees

youtube

Slowly lower yourself into a squat until you can place your hands flat on the floor in front of you.

Slowly step back one leg at a time to assume the pushup position.

Do a pushup (some people omit this step).

Either stand up or jump up. The advantage of doing everything slowly means you can muster more force for the jump and land safely.

Repeat.

Everything is slow and controlled and deliberate.

3. 180 Degree Burpees

youtube

4. Broad Jump Burpees

youtube

5. Jumping Jacks

youtube

6. Russian Lunges

youtube

7. Get Up, Stand Ups

youtube

8. Kettlebell Swings

youtube

9. Sandbag Shouldering

youtube

No sandbag? Fill a duffel bag with soft weighted objects – emphasis on soft so that you don’t conk yourself in the head.

10. Jump Rope

youtube

11. Tabata Squats

youtube

12. Mountain Climbers

youtube

13. Shoulder Tap Planks

youtube

14. Thrusters

youtube

15. Sandbag Clean & Press

youtube

Now, watch all of the moves in action!

youtube

Let’s hear from you down below. Have you done any of these exercises? How do they compare to burpees? Got any other suggestions for people sick of the burpee?

Thanks for reading, everyone. Take care.

Prefer listening to reading? Get an audio recording of this blog post, and subscribe to the Primal Blueprint Podcast on iTunes for instant access to all past, present and future episodes here.

(function($) { $("#dfXaRpM").load("https://www.marksdailyapple.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php?action=dfads_ajax_load_ads&groups=674&limit=1&orderby=random&order=ASC&container_id=&container_html=none&container_class=&ad_html=div&ad_class=&callback_function=&return_javascript=0&_block_id=dfXaRpM" ); })( jQuery );

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cavefelix · 5 years

Text

The Orc Library: Non-Fiction: 500-599

(Wondering what this is? Here’s the intro.)

Did you know that the ancient Babylonians not only had trigonometry, but used techniques that resembled proto-calculus to solve issues dealing with the paths that stars and planets took? In a similar vein, you might be surprised how advanced Orcish knowledge of mathematics is. They too need to track the paths of stars, and need the equations to build strong siege protection.

But you won’t find most of this information in a library. Engineering and detailed math equations are passed down from master to apprentice.

There are a couple of elementary math books, which Orcs may enjoy but others find the education techniques weird. You know how parents always complain about the method teachers use on how to learn multiplication, because they learned it from times tables, or the new math, or some totally different system? Orc methodologies are different, though they still get to the same results.

(In a weird coincidence, Orcs employ the exact same symbols for “greater than” and “less than,” > and <, that we do. The mnemonic teachers use is “think of the greater number stabbing the weaker number with a dagger.” None of their other symbols even vaguely resemble ours, unless you’re using this in a game which has provided the Orc alphabet for you.)

Orcs also have a lot of books on astronomy, which are largely guides as to when stars are visible or when comets normally show up. Since comets are, of course, portents from the gods or devices from strange ancient races, they can’t be expected to follow completely predictable orbits.

Note that there’s a definite overlap between astrology and astronomy. I could have discussed some of these books back in the 100s. Most will probably have guides to what the constellations mean. Again, these are not always true, though can be helpful. Also note that the lone astronomy guide by a non-orc has very different interpretations of what the stars mean. There’s some debate if the Taurus-analogy of this world just doesn’t favor hobgoblins as much as orcs, or the hobgoblin author was a lousy astrologer.

There’s plenty of books about plants and animals, natural and otherwise. Creatures found within about 20 miles of Rock Claw will get detailed entries somewhere in the library. Those further afield get maybe Monster Manual details. And we’re not talking first or second edition manuals with full details of their ecology and numbers encountered in different situations.

Actually, the monster manual is a fair analogy, because the books are most likely to be about things that can be killed and what they’ll do in combat. The oldest known account of an orc fighting a hive of giant bees is nearly 1,000 years old (it recounts the special armor constructed to lessen stings). The first account of raising a giant apiary to collect hundreds of gallons of honey for mead is only 150 years old. It’s possible orcs have been giant-beekeepers longer and didn’t leave a written record, but the point is that fighting is a big priority of the orcs.

There are also a lot of pet care and animal husbandry guides. Orcs sometimes go for more exotic, or at least dangerous, pets and livestock than humans. Be warned that few of these guides are beginner friendly. They’re written by giant bat breeders for other breeders and trainers, not children who’ve just gotten a pup with a mere two-foot wingspan.

As for other natural sciences, the only thing about earth science is a Common translation of a Dwarf book. It’s all about identifying rocks, and underground regions by common rock formations.

Books on chemistry are pretty much how to make stuff that goes boom. When children check these out, because no books are age restricted, the librarians always direct them to the Unholy Ranch outside of town for guidance. There, orcs raise a herd of particularly ornery cattle. (Which probably do have some demonic heritage, but may just be a nasty breed. Some people think that their milk tastes peppery because of this, others because of the grass they eat.) The cows’ manure is really high in ammonia and other nasty compounds to make explosives, and the owners like to watch things burn, so they’re always ready to assist eager young minds with this particular brand of science.

[Adventure seed: Your character, defying stereotypes, is the best in the party at math and always divides the spoils fairly. However, there’s always a 20 minute argument about this where you are accused of cheating because the way you do division is alien to those humans and gnomes in the group]

[Adventure seeds: Some poorly described creature is attacking a nearby village. Keep collecting facts about it until you can identify the species and learn its weaknesses.]

[Adventure seed: You’re tired of how people treat their pet direwolves, and know the books in the library aren’t useful enough. You offer to hold a workshop. Twenty families with poorly trained wolves eight feet tall at the shoulder show up. Hilarity ensues.]

[Adventure seed: After a visit to the Unholy Ranch to watch things burn, the rancher’s daughter, Wrath Of Eternity, offers to go with you to return the book. Wrath is clearly part demon, with horns and always smelling faintly of smoke. None of the kids in town care; she’s really good at throwing things so they always pick her first for certain sports. When you get to the library, some human paladins are donating some holy books. They see Wrath, and you know there’s trouble for your favorite ranch in the future, unless you can be diplomatic or figure out a way to get them out of town fast.]

#TheOrcLibrary

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itsworn · 5 years

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NorCal Mopar Collection Includes 4 Hemi Cars, 2 of Which Were Bought New

Godfather of Soul James Brown was known for crooning, “It’s a man’s world.” That’s generally true in the world of muscle cars, but then again, he never met Janice Sutherland. She’s a lady with four Hemi-powered Mopars: a 1970 Superbird, 1969 Road Runner, 1966 Satellite, and an exacting 1969 Charger Daytona “re-creation.” There’s a 440-powered Superbird in her collection, too. And she has owned two of them, the Hemi Superbird and Satellite, since brand new. That’s far more muscle than we can pack into one feature, so we’ll highlight the Hemi Superbird and Road Runner here, along with a few words about the Daytona, and peel out from there to bring you the other cars in a later issue.

Janice’s muscle car saga began back in 1966, when she and her then-husband Les, a Dodge mechanic by trade, bought the yellow Satellite for racing. They tore up the tracks around Ukiah, California, but that wasn’t enough for her. Lightning struck when Janice saw a 1970 newspaper article about Buddy Baker busting the 200-mph barrier in an outrageously antisocial, winged Daytona.

“That’s the kind of car I wanted,” Janice recalls. “It was my forever car.” Truth be told, she actually mistook the Charger Daytona for a Superbird. The two are somewhat similar, with a few differences in the nosecone, body, and rear sail panels, so her confusion was somewhat understandable.

Mopar history buffs already know that the 1970 Plymouth Superbird was a follow-up to the 1969 Dodge Charger Daytona, the first American car with a body developed in a wind tunnel and by computer analysis. (Prior to that, automotive aerodynamics were analyzed by taping tufts of yarn to the body and filming the car at speed.)

The Superbird took this digital design approach to even greater lengths. The nose on both models added 19 inches to the base car’s overall dimension, but the rear sections were not the same. While the Charger had a flat window covering over the rear tunnel, on the Superbird the rear sail panels (C-pillars) were extended for better airflow. This modification resulted in all Superbirds having a vinyl top to cover up the rough, improvised metalwork (due to production being done at furious clip, 2,000 units in only two months).

The tall aluminum rear wing, mounted on struts on the trunk, increased downforce. Reportedly it really only needed to be about a foot in height to serve its purpose, but one retired Mopar engineer claimed that it was elevated 23 inches to allow the trunk lid to open all the way. Supposedly Richard Petty liked the extra height solely for the intimidation factor.

Smitten by the winged monster she saw in the newspaper, Janice promptly made a beeline for the Ukiah Mopar dealership to put in an order. But the sales manager emphatically refused, fearing any warranty claims. Little did he know just how well Janice would take care of her much beloved Hemis in the coming decades.

Loaded and Then Some Fortunately, a dealer further south, in Pittsburg, California, was far more accommodating, and she was able to grab the last Hemi Superbird in the state. The car came fully loaded, with every possible option and then some. Besides the automatic transmission and Rim-Blo steering wheel (just squeeze the edge to sound the purple beep-beep horn), it also had an eight-track player, plus a center console and a six-way adjustable driver’s bucket seat (most came with a bench seat). At the time, all of these items would be surprising to find on a Road Runner given its reputation as a stripped-down muscle car (as you will see in the B5 Blue companion car).

One more odd thing popped up on the build sheet: a rear speaker. Although technically not available as an option, with no box to check on the order form, it somehow made it onto the car from the factory.

Janice says she did a bit of street racing in her Limelight Green Superbird against her husband in the yellow Satellite, mostly the usual stoplight drags and Saturday night antics. But right after the Interstate 5 freeway opened up, she hit the fresh pavement to run her Superbird up to 150 mph. (The street gearing was too low, however, to duplicate Buddy Baker’s 200-mph feat.)

She also used the Superbird as a daily driver to take her kids to school and run errands. What a sight that must’ve been, seeing such a colorful car tooling around town, and her getting groceries in a NASCAR-derived ride. She even occasionally used it to tow a horse trailer, and also a flat-bottom drag boat from Ukiah to Lake Shasta! (More about what happened to the Hemi in that boat later.) It was like putting a thoroughbred to the plow.

Eventually the kids grew tired of being teased about their Mom’s “upside-down Hula Hoe garden tool,” and they asked her to drop them off a block away from their schoolmates. As they grew older, though, they came around and asked if they could drive the Superbird to high school. How cool was that?! Was she worried about putting a Hemi in the hands of a hormonal teenager? Not really.

“We all have lead feet,” she laughs. “We were not the kind of parents that most parents would like to see their kids with.” Usually the cops would pull over her son Les because they just wanted to check out the car, and he’d get away with only a warning and a knowing smile. (On the other hand, Janice admits that she’s always one ticket away from losing her driver’s license.)

Over the next 15 years of regular use, Janice’s Superbird went through three restorations. The original Hemi engine never required more than a mild refresh (new gaskets and seals). Larry Snow, who oversees her collection to a remarkably meticulous degree, and has an impressive knowledge of Mopar technical details, works with Dan Laughlin Customs. Dan has worked on all of Janice’s cars, and corrected a number of factory defects in the body, ranging from orange-peel paint to uneven panel gaps.

“We never could paint it black,” Janice admits. “The body was too crooked.” That was later fixed, and even though the body is now smooth as glass, they stuck with the original Limelight Green hue, updated from the factory lacquer and acrylic enamel to a base/clear coat.

Not surprisingly, when the car is displayed at shows, it typically takes home a Best of Show trophy (about 15 in all, thus far). And both Janice and Larry get quite a few insistent offers to buy it, not to mention a few snide remarks from the testosterone-fueled side of the muscle car aisle about how it is that a woman owns a Hemi-powered Superbird. But she takes it all in stride and just says it’s her forever car.

Healing a Broken-Down Road Runner

The background of Janice’s B5 Blue bomber is far more troubled than any of her other Mopars. It all started innocently enough, when a man approached her at a local car show. Knowing about her collection, he asked, “You want to buy another Ukiah Hemi car?” Her immediate reply: “You could twist my arm.”

Well, it might have taken a lot more than arm-twisting when she first saw the 1969 Road Runner. “It was in just rotten condition from the headlights down,” she relates. How did such a valuable car get so neglected?

There’s a sad tale behind it all, but basically the owner parked it in a field after suffering a personal tragedy. Larry, with the skills of a forensic investigator, took a careful look at the VIN and realized what a find it was, since the engine markings all matched up. Clearly this lost treasure was worth recovering. “That car was saved by its numbers,” he says.

Larry took the decaying mess to their trusty restorer, Dan Laughlin, who had quite a bit of surgery to perform. He repaired the front and rear fenders, which had been cut out for racing tires, by fabricating new sheetmetal using patterns off a 1969 Satellite as a guide. The doors and inner fender wells also had to be replaced. The only metal worth saving on the body were the trunk, the roof, and the rear window area, which is unusual for an old Mopar. In all, it took 10 months to smooth out the Road Runner’s ruffled feathers.

Looking at Janice’s collection overall raises the question: Why so many Hemis? Partly because she wants to leave a car to each of her eight grandchildren. (No, she’s not looking to adopt, in case you were wondering.) But more important, “If every one of my cars had a Hemi,” she muses, “I’d be happy.” Now that’s a lady with some wings.

At a Glance 1970 Superbird

Owned by: Janice Sutherland, Red Bluff, CA

Restored by: Dan Laughlin, Anderson, CA

Engine: 1970 426ci/425hp Hemi V-8

Transmission: 727 TorqueFlite 3-speed automatic

Rearend: 8 3/4 with 3.54 gears and Sure Grip

Interior: Black vinyl bucket seat with center console

Wheels: 15×7 Rallye

Tires: F60-15 Goodyear Polyglas GT

With a 19-inch nosecone and Coronet front end grafted onto a Road Runner body, Janice Sutherland’s Superbird is so long she can barely fit it in her garage.

While the overly tall wing increased downforce, it was not to everyone’s taste when Superbirds were sold in 1970. It’s been said that some dealers actually converted some of them to regular Road Runners to make a sale. For Superbird fans, that’s tantamount to sacrilege.

While the 426 Hemi was rated at 425 hp by the factory, actual output was likely about 100 horses more. The Hemi in Janice’s Superbird never needed more than mild freshening over the years.

Most Superbirds came with a bench seat rather than the buckets seen here, in keeping with the Road Runner’s stripped-down nature.

Janice’s granddaughter Alyssa squeezed the Rim-Blo steering wheel to demonstrate how to sound the famous beep-beep horn.

At a Glance 1969 Road Runner

Owned by: Janice Sutherland, Red Bluff, CA

Restored by: Dan Laughlin, Anderson, CA

Engine: 1969 426ci/425hp Hemi V-8

Transmission: 727 TorqueFlite 3-speed automatic

Rearend: 8 3/4 with 3.55 gears and Sure Grip

Interior: Black vinyl bench seat

Wheels: 15×6 steel with hubcaps

Tires: G70-15 Firestone

For the 1969 model year, the Road Runner was lightly face-lifted with a restyle grille. The cartoon bird decals were finally in color, too.

The Road Runner’s taillights were also revised for 1969.

When the Road Runner was introduced in 1968, the list price for a base model with a 383 was less than $2,900. The extra charge for a 426 Hemi was only $715, a screaming deal in hindsight.

Bare-bones Road Runner was all business. Well, except for the grinning bird on the horn emblem.

The Air Grabber option first appeared on the 1969 model. The Carb Air lever under the dash actuated a pair of rectangular vents in the hood, ducting air directly into the engine bay.

Duplicating a Daytona While Muscle Car Review generally covers all-original rides, we make an exception here because this Hemi-powered Charger Daytona is virtually identical to the authentic item in every possible sense.

In August of 2013, Janice Sutherland came across this makings of this project in Reno, Nevada, at Hot August Nights. It had already been poorly converted from a Charger 500 into a Daytona with a steel nose and solid aluminum rear wing. Looking at the car’s salt damage, Larry Snow, who oversees Janice’s collection, commented that the restorer “should have been a gardener, not a body man.”

Even so, Janice forged ahead. Once she got the car back home, strange things started to fall in place. A local resident approached her at a tire shop and said, “You’re the Superbird lady.”

She nodded, somewhat warily, until the local revealed a surprising tidbit. Turns out he had an original, hollow aluminum wing in his pump shed, salvaged from his wrecked Daytona. Now it could go to a better home.

Larry proceeded to go to extreme lengths to ensure that no aftermarket conversion parts would be used on the car, be they cables, wiring, power steering unit, or brackets. Even the trunk has an extra bottle jack, since a conventional one won’t fit under the long nose. He claims that if he taped over the VIN tag, nobody could tell it’s not an original Charger Daytona.

But what about the engine? It had a 440 in it when Janice acquired the car, so Larry suggested pulling the Hemi out of the drag boat she used to tow around with her Superbird. He figured that, “if it’s going to have the wrong engine, it might as well be the right wrong engine.”

All that was required was some detuning from the drag specs to street duty, so it now delivers about 460 horses at 5,800 rpm. The buildup turned out so well that some very particular judges at a Mopar show created a special class for it as a “Restified Wing Car.”

Preview of Coming Attractions What makes Janice Sutherland’s collection all the more spectacular is that she’s owned two of her Hemi cars since new! Her 1966 Satellite was modified for competition, and later driven on the street, sometimes against her Hemi Superbird. We’ll bring you more coverage on the rest of her collection in an upcoming issue.

The post NorCal Mopar Collection Includes 4 Hemi Cars, 2 of Which Were Bought New appeared first on Hot Rod Network.

from Hot Rod Network https://www.hotrod.com/articles/norcal-mopar-collection-includes-4-hemi-cars-2-of-which-were-bought-new/ via IFTTT

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athertonjc · 6 years

Text

A Back Porch Recipe for Peace by Bob Hill

From left: dogwood and winterberry. bark of three-flowered maple.

Gardening offers me an outside recipe for inner peace, or at least the opportunity to go hide on our screened-in back porch and ponder the meaning of life, mortality and the furrowed bark and brilliant fall colors of our three-flowered maple.

I look out, and the pink and white dogwood trees I planted almost 40 years ago at a time and place in life where I was as uncertain and vulnerable as they are now fully grown, their arching limbs solid and secure, and yet still reaching out beyond all that toward whatever must be.

I sit alone on that porch of our 150-year-old farmhouse and see a once bare and weedy landscape flowing with such home-made history, promise and fate, becoming every day more aware it’s all passing me by. What began with my hands will quite soon be out of my hands.

My recipe to deal with that approaching finality is to enjoy the moment, to look out where the dogwood limbs almost touch the bright-red fruit of the winterberry bush, itself to soon serve as desert for the cedar waxwings before they -as with so many Louisvillians – head south to Destin, Florida for the winter.

It is a recipe equal parts joy, pride and resignation. I knew very little of raising dogwood trees 40 years ago, or the winterberry bush, or the nearby blackgum tree with its waxy red and orange leaves that add to my autumnal joy and back-porch satisfaction.

I dug their birth holes with a sharp spade, enjoying the clinging dirt and easy sweat that came with it. All that helped create my atavistic responses to some long-gone ancestor who went at the same basic chore with a sharpened stick and no need of pricey garden gloves or three-dollar bottles of water.

History and recipe come thickly in that area, which is named “Janet’s Garden” because it is well-weeded and organized – two attributes that own my wife but have so far escaped me.

Her garden, perhaps 30 feet behind our back porch, is our museum and water-fountain-mecca. It is flanked by two massive concrete planters that once served as cattle feeders at the long-gone Louisville Bourbon Stockyards.

Its low front iron fence came with our house – or at least we like to say so. There is no one left to prove us wrong. Its tall, spikey back fence came from a century-old Louisville Highlands home.

The garden centerpiece is the rusted metal frame of a window from the nearby Jeffersonville Quadrangle that first let in light in 1874 and served as a storehouse and shirt factory for the next four American wars.

All peace recipes must come with their own bloody histories, too.

The recipe ingredients on our eight acres go well beyond Janet’s garden. They include a massive pin oak, itself once so vulnerable my father backed over it in his car.

It now towers over all in our yard, nurturing squirrels – our guests in need of shade – and memories of my parents.

Our barn is rough-cut, lumber, a new-old structure built from other wooden barns that were torn down one board at a time and hauled home to recycle history once the old nails were removed.

The beams that support it came from a forgotten funeral home, its ghosts all left behind. The barn went up over a year’s time with help from a lot of hammer-handy friends and about ten cases of beer – another old recipe.

The stone wall that angles around the barn came from a stone wall at the back of a neighbor’s field that time and weather had laid low and buried in the weeds.

Robert Frost was right about that one. Our good neighbor sold it all to me for $100. Our son and I loaded all those heavy, hand-chiseled keepsakes into a once-white pickup truck – 14 loads in all – and brought them home for reuse, this time as my wall.

Such ownership is temporary. I have no doubt that after I’m gone someone else will come to buy those stones to mix into their back-porch recipe.

Our daughter still lingers here at our farm home, too. She loved its nature. She joined our local 4-H with her mother as her teacher. She grew her own flower memories.

A straight-A student, she learned the multi-tasker jump shot that helped her gain an Ivy League entrance on a cement basketball court constructed with the help of even more friends in the shade of our volunteer maple trees.

The view out our back porch slides over to a paw paw tree, a weeping green fir, a now massive sugar maple first transplanted in a wheelbarrow, and a dominant Kentucky Coffee Tree with its dark, heavily ridged bark and wide welcoming arms. Even Hoosiers need a Kentucky Coffee Tree.

The ingredients all blend together – the old and the new, the sense of time, the sense of place -and I never tire of its meaning and offerings of peace.

It is history. It is friends. It is family – the three ingredients of life that have always meant the most to me, and surely must be the same with you.

A Back Porch Recipe for Peace originally appeared on Garden Rant on October 30, 2017.

from Garden Rant http://gardenrant.com/2017/10/a-back-porch-recipe-for-peace.html

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turfandlawncare · 6 years