#they told me I had childlike energy

[danibeanie]

Vibes & Beauty Astro observations 🩶

Stelliums💘

-i noticed girlies that have a stellium seem to have a stronger impression on people.Its very common to hear “I love your energy.”

-gemini stellium, love talking, mischievous eyes, sharp beauty,usually long brows,high pitched voice, playful,hair color very saturated like if you got dark hair it’s BLACK or light hair it’s super blonde.

-virgo stellium, just like their mercurial, but a bit more calm and reserved,down to earth voice,”girl me too”,natural beauty,can have a rbf,observant eyes.

-aries stellium, miss independent(love that tho), flushed cheeks, straightforward,intimidating, knows who she is, pronounced brows wether thin or thick they stand out,childlike eyes,gorg girlies.

-pisces stellium, eyes stand out wether it be color or shape you just notice them, kind & pure,high voices just like gemini but they don’t change it as much, cute, creates softness to the face,angels.

-usually when you have a stellium in a chart your gonna attract other people with a stellium as well

Eyes 👀

- water moon girlies have emotional eyes. Its even more pronounced when you have a moon conjunction with inner planets.

Cancer- looks through your soul, “what’s wrong you look sad?”,doe eyes,vulnerable ,pretty eyes ,guys nervous to look at your eyes,manipulative eyes.

Scorpio- intense,intense,intense,darker eyes DOESN’T matter the color, reads u like a book, hiding something,intimidating,mix of siren/doe

Pisces-so prettyyy,lots of eyelid space for some,in tune with other people,pure eyes,mysterious eyes ,long lashes, princess.

-I might just do a series on this!

-Lilith energy🖤

-When having prominent Lilith energy your just going to stand out somehow wether it be ur looks or personality. There’s just something to these people that makes u wanna watch.

-this may be a theory but I believe your lilith placement affects your looks even if it doesn’t tough your ascendant but it has to STRONGLY prounounced to ur personal planets.

-ex I have a Gemini stellium and I have sun moon and mercury conjunction all in 2nd house. My ascendent is in Taurus and my lilith in Gemini conjunct my sun and mercury but not my moon because it’s in an early degree cancer. I’m also a late taurus rising making half of my 1st house gemini. Also my Venus is in gemini in 1st house even though Lilith doesn’t touch my Venus it’s very pronounced in my 2nd house.(2’d house is Taurus home-connection to ascendent)

-All my life guys never approached me and when the few of them did they all had heavy mars energy wether being scorpio or Aries. I find myself attracted to Leo energy and I believe it’s because they match my strong energy. Insecure guys get intimidated by you and treat u like shit.Then get mad when you leave them but still keep on coming back?😭but for some reason expect you to be on the side like no sir we are all #1s here.I though u didn’t like me why are u trying to get my attention when u clearly didn’t want it yesterday.

-even if you try to hide your body for some reason it’s still noticed, “your so tiny” I’ve learned to embrace my body the older I get. confidence is key YALL!

-super black hair,I can’t tell u how many times people have commented on how dark my hair is😭

-mysterious vibe without even trying, my friends have told me this when I walk at the campus.

- I have a bestie with lilith energy as well but it squares her ascendent and mercury many people thought she was a b when first meeting her(even me).She also has mars conjunct ascendent lmao but I love her and our vibes just match each other. I feel like my Venus energy tames my lilith energy a bit more but it’s still there 😭

-guys just don’t approach u period :/

bye y’all thank u so much for the support in my last 2 posts lot of love🖤

#astrology content #astro observations #beauty #stellium #lilith #astro community #eyes

[neptuneiris]

Behind the Scenes (05/05)

Behind the Success

pairing: actor!aemond × fem!reader

summary: you and Aenar finally meet Aemond's family, closing one chapter of your life and starting a new one with Aemond in it.

word counter: 8.7k

previous part • next part • series masterlist

it's here!🥳

I've finally finished the chapter and I'm so excited for you guys to read this!

and how is it possible that another story is going to end soon? because if you didn't read my previous message, there will be an epilogue, so it's not yet the definitive goodbye for this little family we have created🤭

also before reading I want to thank you for your support and please leave me your opinion, lately the comments have gone down and I wish to read you🙏🏻

oh I also want to make a small clarification before you reed:

in the second chapter it is mentioned how aemond at the end confessed everything to his family in a desperate attempt to find Y/N. but let's forget that hehe🤭 let's pretend that aemond never told them so you can enjoy this chapter and the light drama you are about to read.

now read and enjoy, ily all!

warnings: slight angst, aemond's family melting our hearts when they meet aenar.

Aemond immerses himself in the world of acting with the same fierce dedication with which he confronts his characters on screen. Every move, every word, everything is carefully rehearsed and executed.

Each project is a challenge, an opportunity to explore new roles and demonstrate his versatility as an actor.

The hustle and bustle of the film set fills the air as he immerses himself in his role. The bright lights illuminate his face, conveying the intensity of his character as he delivers his lines with palpable emotion.

But when the bell rings, as well as the director's shout of "cut!" is heard, Aemond is Aemond again.

Behind all those shots, scenes, interviews and awards, no one knows that Aemond is a father, at least no one outside his close circle. He only confided the news to a few close co-workers, some production people and his older sister, Rhaenyra.

He managed to persuade some rumors after some people at first saw him entertaining Aenar in the nursery on the set, because even though there is nothing wrong with it and Aenar is his most precious treasure and a pride of his life, he knows it is better to protect him from the public eye.

And now that Aenar has his own nanny at home, sometimes even then the whispers would start to get too much and he would make sure that some member of the production crew, known for their ability to spread harmless gossip, would plant the idea that it was simply a close family friend of the child they had seen him with.

And in the midst of all his work and everything he has to do, Aemond finds the precious time to be with his son.

Aenar, a whirlwind of laughter and childlike energy, fills every space where the two are together with light. Games, stories and hugs become routine and Aemond cherishes every moment he can spend with him on his days off.

He even reduces his own working hours and focuses entirely on filming his scenes, also attending one or two interviews per month, in order to have more quality time with Aenar, who is more important than having to please the press at every moment.

And as he balances the intensity of the job with his responsibility as a father, Aemond fights for to rebuild the trust you once placed in him.

Every gesture, every conversation, was an effort to demonstrate that he is fully committed to getting things right this time. Every encounter with you, he demonstrates a quiet determination to making amends for past mistakes.

With carefully chosen words and acts of genuine support, he tries to show you that he understands the pain he had caused and is willing to go out of his way to regain your trust.

And you accept this, because you see how he makes an effort to open up more, to share his thoughts, his fears and his hopes. But above all, you see how he is making an effort with Aenar, which is the most important thing.

And you also see how parental responsibility has changed his perspective and maturity. But still, Aemond knows that rebuilding trust takes time and forgiveness is not something that can or should be rushed.

Even if you decide never to forgive him, he's okay with that and is getting the idea from now on that you only allow him to be close to you because of Aenar and only because of Aenar.

So in the meantime, you immerse yourself in your own workday.

The makeup and wardrobe trailer is a world of constant motion and productivity in any given area, though your mind is always on Aenar and also on Aemond.

And even though you both carry separate jobs at the same place during the day, you both manage to create a balance between your jobs and raising Aenar.

Evenings were for you and Aenar if Aemond didn't finish recording at the same time as your shift ends. And almost at dusk is when Aemond comes from work and devotes every minute of his free afternoon to Aenar.

Instead if you both finished your shifts at the same time, you both spent time together with Aenar.

However, the nights brought calm.

Once Aenar fell asleep and before Aemond retired, you and he find your own space to talk, share thoughts, talk about work or more importantly about Aenar. And today just happens to be one of those nights.

You finish cleaning the kitchen, while Aemond is sitting on one of the stools, with a cup of coffee in his hands, looking out the large windows to the back garden, thoughtful.

While he has in front of him the IPad with the image of the camera in Aenar's crib that records him sleeping, attentive and making sure he is well.

"I've been thinking a lot lately," he says, breaking the silence in a soft voice, catching your attention.

You watch him from the sink, setting a clean, dry dish in the drainer, then drying your hands with a clean cloth.

"About what?" you ask him softly, attentively.

And he takes a moment before answering, thinking very carefully about his words and what he means, not wanting you to misunderstand him in any way.

"On Aenar and... us."

He confesses and you lean on the other side of the island that separates you both in front of him, giving him your full attention.

"At first..." he starts to say, slightly flustered, "You didn't want me to hide him from the world and I-I... well, I obviously disagreed with you."

He says and bites the inside of his cheek, lowering his gaze, feeling embarrassed.

"But now... I think it's not fair to him that no one has any idea that I have a son. It's also not fair for anyone to know that you're the mother of my child."

His gaze again meets yours and a sense of understanding envelops both him and you.

"Now things have changed," Aemond continues, his tone laden with sincerity, "And I know that you and I are n-not together but... maybe... I can announce the news, only if you want me to."

Silence fills the kitchen in its entirety for a moment, as Aemond holds his breath at your possible response, honestly feeling terrified to expect a bad reaction from you.

But none of that crosses your mind, on the contrary, you just digest his words. But your silence is what causes a mixture of expectation and anxiety in Aemond, who holds his gaze with yours, nervous.

And finally, with a serene sigh, you go around the island that separates the two of you and approach him, placing one of your hands on his shoulder gently and in an attempt to comfort and reassure him, instantly feeling his whole figure tense, while he watches you with his big healthy wide eye and his prosthetic eye remains the same as always.

"Aemond," you begin to say in a soft voice as he watches you completely attentively, "I always wanted you to recognize Aenar publicly, that was what I wanted most at first. But now...

You pause for a moment, thinking about your meditated words, as you sink for a second into your own thoughts and what you really want to say, as Aemond watches you intently, waiting for you to continue.

"I understand your world more now," you continue, "And, honestly, I can't blame you for not agreeing with me back then, only in this," you make clear, "Recognize him legally would have been the right thing to do and... enough," you say holding back the sadness in your tone of voice.

But Aemond catches that break in your voice, a moment of your vulnerability that makes him feel a sharp, simmering ache in his chest, as if every word you utter drops a weight on his shoulders, with shame again invading him, but this time with a mixture of deep remorse and regret.

A barely audible sigh escapes his lips, lowering his gaze, ashamed, feeling the burden of his past choices and he wonders amidst the brief silence if he will ever be able to fully redeem with himself.

But he doesn't have much time to think about it, as you gently squeeze his shoulder to bring his attention back to you.

"And now I understand that the press and people's opinions can be very dangerous and destructive," you say softly, "And I don't want that for Aenar, at least I don't want to deal with that yet," you confess, "I want him to grow up a little more and we can both enjoy his early years without having to worry about it."

An expression of surprise and also longing crosses Aemond's face, still watching you intently, processing your words.

"Are you sure?"

You place a soft smile on your lips.

"Very," you assure, "I just want him to grow up in a calm and safe place, without falling fame on him nor all this attention being so young," you explain, "I have no problem with it, but also your opinion counts."

"No, I-I... I want the same for him too," he agrees with you, nodding, with all the pressure and anxiety he felt being replaced by a mixture of gratitude and relief.

And you nod back at him, smiling softly in his direction.

"But..." he says with a slight urgency in his gaze and concern in his tone, "I just want you to know that when the time comes, I won't do it for attention or to be relevant."

He says seriously, softly and honestly.

""I'll do it because I know it's something I have to do, for him and for you, as in the beginning maybe it should have been. But for now I just want us to enjoy these moments and, when the time is right, make that decision together."

The room fills with the honesty of his words and you can feel the sincerity in each of them, as a sense of calm envelops you both and you share a soft, complicit smile.

"Sure," you nod to him, feeling a warmth wrap itself all over your chest.

Your gaze moves away from his for a moment, focusing on the iPad screen where Aenar is shown sleeping, while Aemond can't help but focus on the features of your face with an intensity that can't go unnoticed by you.

Deep longing is reflected in his gaze, with a palpable mix of regret and sadness that is projected beyond mere facial expression. And he feel that weight on his body and chest again, a burden he can't help but feel.

His healthy eye glides over your face as if searching for answers in every line of expression and in his gaze, you can perceive the longing to repair the irremediable, the need to know how much he regrets the decisions of the past.

"Y/N-

He starts to want to say, his voice laden with regret, but you turn your gaze to him and stop him.

"Aemond, we have already talked about this."

"But I'm sorry... I really am," he insists, with pain in his gaze, "And I know an apology isn't going to fix it, I know that, neither is anything else but... I am really sorry and you don't know how much I hate myself for everything I put you through."

"No," you shake your head, "There's no need for you to keep apologizing," you tell him softly, "It won't do either of us any good to keep bringing up the mistakes of the past. Nor will it serve you to keep punishing yourself for what has already happened," you say as tactfully as you can.

His expression reflects a mixture of gratitude and frustration with yourself.

"Yes, I know, I understand," he murmurs, lowering his gaze, "It's just... I feel like I have to say it."

"Aemond, what matters now is this, how we move forward from here now that we've both learned and grown. Aenar too," you add, "And that's all that matters."

He nods slowly in your direction, his gaze showing a mixture of appreciation and relief, even with the remorse within him, as you both then sink into a moment of silence, letting the unspoken words echo in the air, but you both know those words, they just don't need to be said.

The relationship dynamic between you and Aemond since then takes a new path, a less tense, more bearable path of total trust. And this is not lost when the two of you are together in Aenar's presence.

Until one day, on your day off precisely, Aemond after work, comes to you telling you some unexpected news.

"I told them."

You turn fully towards him, giving him your full attention, understanding but at the same time not what he really means.

The living room starts to feel tense, while Aenar completely oblivious to it continues to play on the floor with his toys, but you focus on his gaze, where there is a charge of confession in his eye and you notice his whole body in a position of determination but also nervousness.

"Come, sit down," you tell him in a soft voice, pointing to the couch, while at the same time getting up from the floor to take a seat next to him.

And he almost with a defeated expression and posture, does as you say, letting out a sigh.

"What happened?" you ask, watching him intently.

He inhales deeply, looking at Aenar on the floor, who is the only one who can make him feel a little calmer, as well as your presence next to him.

"I told them about everything that happened," he confesses to you, "Our relationship, your pregnancy, my team, the decision I made in the beginning, everything I caused and how much I hurt you," he says as he feels his heart knot, "Everything. Everything that happened from then until now... and Aenar."

His words leave a weight in the air, as you anticipate how bad and difficult that conversation must have gone with his family to see him this way, so serious and tense.

"And how did they react?"

Aemond closes his eye, lowering his gaze, his posture reflecting the emotional baggage he carries with him and how bad it definitely went with it.

"Just as I expected. Obviously they were disappointed in me."

He says without much emotion, but with slight pain in his tone

"My grandfather couldn't believe it and was shouting how come I kept all that from them. Hel was very shocked, Aegon and Daeron too. And mother said a few hurtful things, started crying and telling me how I could keep these things from her," he exhales deeply, "Rhaenyra and Daemon were the ones who helped me calm things down a bit, but still my grandfather and mother were upset with her for knowing and not saying anything."

The tension of what happened feels palpable, as if he is reliving his family's every reaction, with the heaviness of disappointment and pain reflected in his expression, as you beside hom, share the weight of that difficult moment.

You are both silent for a moment, only hearing the sounds of Aenar playing with his toys.

"I'm sorry," you whisper in his direction, placing your hand on top of his, as if trying to somehow ease the pain he feels, "It must have been very difficult for you."

"No, Y/N," he observes you instantly, speaking to you in a soft tone, "You don't have to apologize. I deserved this and I'm not saying it to cause pity or play the victim," he adds with earnest sincerity, "I'm saying it because it's true. This is the least I deserve after everything you had to go through because of me."

You decide not to say anything at this, just offer him your silent support, while he again seems lost in his own thoughts for a few long seconds, where neither of you say anything.

When suddenly, Aenar emits an infectious giggle, instantly attracting both of your attention.

His small hands hold a toy with enthusiasm, his smile and the tenderness he conveys bringing brightness to the living room and the state Aemond is in, who smiles softly at the scene, watching him with complete adoration.

He sighs and rises from the couch, moving towards him, holding him gently, needing the sensation at that moment of holding him in his arms.

Aenar squeals with excitement and joy, placing his small arms on his chest, moving energetically in his arms, smiling big at him with his blue eyes completely filled with a glow.

The scene makes you smile softly, especially when Aemond also takes one of his toys and begins to play with it in his arms as he starts to walk slowly around the living room, talking to it in a honeyed tone and causing Aenar to babble incomprehensible words but full of happiness in his tone.

And when Aenar entertains himself with his father's silver hair, Aemond speaks again, turning to you to observe you.

"Despite everything, they want to meet him," he says, watching Aenar in his arms, "And they also want to meet you, my mother more than anyone else."

And this also completely grabs your attention.

"Really?"

"Hmm," he nods, "But I didn't tell them yes or no," he lets you know, "I wanted to consult it with you first."

"But is this good or not?" you ask, looking to find positivity in the situation, "Or do you think they shouldn't know him yet?"

"Of course they should," he tells you softly, "I owe this to them, also to you. But as I tell you, I didn't know how you would react if I told you they would meet him soon, I wanted to check with you first."

You place a reassuring smile in his direction.

"Aemond, for me it's perfect for Aenar to meet his grandmother, his uncles and aunts. It's a great opportunity and will definitely be good for him," you assure him.

"Yes, it is," he nods, unconsciously beginning to imagine the moment, "They can come or we can go to them, whichever you decide."

"Either way is fine with me," you shrug, "When might that be?"

Aemond thinks for a moment before answering.

"We could arrange it next weekend. Sounds good?"

You nod with a reassuring little smile.

"Sounds good."

The Targaryen—Hightower family decides to come to you.

When Aemond gives you the news, even though at first you were totally fine and had no problem with it, inevitably knowing it instantly makes you nervous.

You've never met his family before, not even when you and Aemond were a couple for obvious reasons. And even though his family isn't involved within the entertainment and film industry, you've still heard enough about them to feel slightly intimidated.

About Alicent Hightower, Rhaenyra and Daemon Targaryen more than anyone.

The uncertainty of how they will perceive you, especially after disappearing from Aemond's life without warning and also how they will treat you, that's what worries you the most.

But the fact that they will be coming to your house relieves you a little. Fortunately you won't be interacting with them in unfamiliar terrain and you're sure that the presence of Aenar, his toys and Aemond will go a long way to reassuring you.

"Do you need help?"

Aemond appears behind you, while you find yourself cleaning everything you can from your living room and Aenar, as usual, is sitting on the carpet with all his toys around him.

"I'm just cleaning up in here, then I'll go clean the kitchen."

"Don't worry, me and this little handsome will clean the kitchen."

He walks over to Aenar and takes him in his arms, who is already dressed in an outfit too cute for the occasion and smells like baby soap from the previous bath you gave him, ready to meet his family.

Aemond goes with him to the kitchen, sitting him in his perch, keeping an eye on him while at the same time starting to clean up.

You start moving some of Aenar's toys, organizing his play area a bit, to create a more orderly and cozy space in the living. You also mop the floor and arrange cushions.

Aemond washes a few dirty dishes and cleans all the shelves, also mops and spreads your favorite Lavender scent, which besides smelling amazing, calms your nerves.

You also ask him to help you tidy up the dining room while you clean the bathroom, wanting everything to look clean and spotless, while Aemond takes Aenar in his arms again to let him play in his play area and he watches him closely from that new distance.

"Maybe I should have cooked something?"

You walk over to him, slightly concerned.

"What? No," he turns to you, instantly, "Y/N, they're coming to meet Aenar, not to eat."

"I know, but..." you explain, nervously, "I thought maybe it would be a good idea to have something prepared, out of courtesy and.... I don't know. Won't it be rude of me if I don't have anything to offer them?"

"Of course not, you don't have to," he clarifies, more serious but with a soft tone, "If you want to have something prepared, let it be some drinks, nothing more."

Still you watch him hesitantly and worriedly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, very sure," he assures you, "In fact I'll prepare them. You rest and take care of Aenar. I'll finish cleaning up everything else."

"No, I-I-

"Rest," he repeats, interrupting you, placing a hand on your cheek gently, "I know this may be overwhelming, but they will come to meet Aenar and you too. And you don't have to put too much pressure on yourself. Everything will be fine."

Her warmth and understanding manage to comfort you a little, making you stop feeling so tense little by little.

"Now rest, okay?" he says softly to then walk past you and head towards the kitchen, not taking any argument back.

It's clear that he wants to lighten your load and make sure you feel comfortable about all this that's about to happen, with his actions conveying reassurance.

And finally after a while, you are ready and waiting in the living room with Aenar, playing with him, while Aemond is sitting on the single sofa and who a few minutes ago let you know that his family is on their way.

And after a few more long minutes, Aemond now lets you know that his family has already passed through the security gate that leads into the private neighborhood.

Knowing that fills you with nerves again, but Aenar's babbling as he hands you his currently favorite toys distracts you a bit.

"Are you okay?"

Aemond asks you from where he sits, watching you intently and noticing the tension all over your face and body, while you try to look completely calm and relaxed.

"Yeah, yeah, just... a little nervous," you say trying to place a genuine smile on your face as you distract yourself by touching Aenar's toys, "Who exactly is coming? Other than your mother and siblings," you can't help but ask.

"My grandfather."

You watch him expectantly, waiting for him to tell you more, but he doesn't.

"And that's everyone?"

"Well, Rhaenyra said my nephews wanted to come too, my uncle Daemon with his daughters too but I asked them to wait a little longer," he explains to you slightly concerned, "I didn't want you to feel nervous and overwhelmed if my whole family invaded your house. And Aenar sure would have felt scared too."

You bite the inside of your cheek and he rises from the couch to walk over to you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

"Hey, don't worry, okay? It's going to be fine. They're excited to meet you and Aenar."

You release a long breath through your nose, placing one of your hands on top of his, feeling your shoulders especially start to feel less tense.

"Yes... thank you," you tell him with gratitude in your gaze, appreciating his support.

And then the doorbell rings.

Aemond gives you one last reassuring glance, assuring you that everything will be fine, then turns and heads for the door to greet them, as you rise from the couch and take Aenar in your arms.

The tension in your shoulders gradually dissolves as you hold your baby in your arms, replaced by a sense of calm, as you watch the front door intently and finish mentally preparing yourself.

Aemond opens the door gently with a warm smile on his lips and the first to enter is his mother, Alicent Hightower, in a beautiful, elegant green dress, followed by who you assume is Otto Hightower, his grandfather.

His mother wraps her arms around him and leaves a loving kiss on his cheek which Aemond reciprocates, as he also greets his grandfather, who watches the entire interior of the house with an inspecting gaze.

Behind Otto enters Rhaenyra, who embraces Aemond.

"Thank you for coming," Aemond says to her, leaving a kiss on her cheek.

"Of course," she smiles at him, leaving a soft kiss on his cheek as well before pulling away from him.

"You guys too, thank you," she says to Aegon and the rest of her brothers, "Come on in."

Both brothers, Aegon and Daeron, embrace him, speaking words of assurance, leaving Helaena at last, who throws herself into his arms with obvious emotion, smiling with joy and longing, as Aemond leaves a kiss in her hair.

Then Aemond closes the door and before heading towards you, who are still standing very still near the couch with Aenar in his arms, his whole family finally notices you and especially the child in your arms.

"Thank you for coming, all of you," Aemond repeats as he turns to you, "Let me introduce you to Y/N," he points to you, "She works on the same recording set I am currently working on as well."

You put on the best friendly and kind smile possible, as Aemond takes Aenar in his arms so that you can meet his family. And the first to address you is Alicent, with her stunning elegance and a soft smile on a warm face.

"Nice to finally meet you, my dear. My son has spoken so much about you."

The tension almost completely leaves your body, feeling grateful and relieved by the welcoming tone of her voice, evaporating your fear about how everyone, especially her, would treat you.

"The pleasure is mine. I'm happy you're here."

You reach out your hand to her and, pleased, she takes it. But she takes you by surprise when she pulls you closer to her and wraps you in a gentle embrace, definitely not expecting that.

You freeze for a moment, then, a little hesitantly, return her embrace, grateful for the affectionate welcome. And when you both part, she has a smile that denotes sincerity and cordiality, then points you to Aemond's grandfather behind her.

"This is my father, Otto," Alicent introduces you as he watches you with an appraising expression, "He has also heard much about you and was very pleased to come here."

And though his look is somewhat... intimidating, you don't let that invade your nerves.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Hightower," you tell him in a soft, polite voice, extending your hand to shake with his as well.

"The pleasure is mine, Y/N," he replies in a low, polite voice, shaking your hand briefly.

"And this is Rhaenyra," Alicent points you to the woman who is just as refined as she is and shares Aemond's same characteristic of silver hair, as do the rest of his siblings.

She smiles towards you and gracefully approaches, then embraces you in greeting mode, as does Alicent.

"It's nice to finally meet you," she tells you cheerfully, "Aemond told me so much about you and of course your little one," she tells you as she gives Aenar a loving look.

"The pleasure is all mine. Aemond also spoke a lot about you and was very excited to meet you," you tell her, as she holds your hands in a gentle grip.

"Well here we are," she tells you without wiping away her smile, then looks behind her, turning her attention to the rest of Aemond's siblings, "Oh and they are my siblings," she gestures you towards Aegon, Daeron and Helaena, who have friendly glances in your direction.

Aegon steps forward first, extending his hand.

"I am Aegon. I hope you're not feeling overwhelmed with so many silverheads invading your home."

"No, no, not at all," you laugh softly, taking his hand, "It is a pleasure to meet you, Aegon."

Daeron is next, greeting you with a friendly smile.

"Hello, nice to meet you, Y/N. I'm Daeron. Aemond told us a lot about you and Aenar."

"Pleasure to meet you, Daeron," you say, noting the sincere camaraderie emanating from both brothers.

And finally, Helaena gives a few towards you, with an expression of pure excitement on her face and hugs you effusively.

"At last we meet!" she exclaims happily, "I was so excited to see you."

"Oh," you respond to her hug also a little surprised and with gratitude, "It's nice to meet you. Aemond has also told me a lot about you.".

"Good things, I hope," she says with a smile, pulling away from you.

And gosh, you can just see how much her sisters and brothers resemble Aemond. Their beauties are otherworldly and even Alicent is truly beautiful, as much as Rhaenyra is.

"And this..." begins to announce Aemond with Aenar in his arms and a radiant smile lighting up his face as he approaches the center of the living room, where his entire family watches him intently, "This is our son, Aenar," he says with pride in his voice, finally introducing his son.

Everyone's gaze focuses on the baby in Aemond's arms, who oblivious to the situation, watches them back with his huge bright blue eyes curious and expectant, while you place a small smile, anticipating the magical meeting of your little one with the rest of his family.

Helaena, visibly moved, can't hold back tears and tries to calm herself, with happiness, longing and nostalgia in her eyes. Aegon smiles with pride and Rhaenyra with adoration.

And meanwhile, Daeron, Otto and Alicent barely finish processing the reality of having Aenar in front of them.

Until Alicent steps forward gently, his eyes and gaze shining with curiosity, slight surprise, longing and adoration as he watches the little one, his newly presented grandson.

"Is that my grandson?" she murmurs in disbelief with tears beginning to form in her eyes and a hand on her chest.

Aemond, with a warm smile, nods at the question.

"Yes, Mom," he gently observes her and seeing her condition, looks at her with complete understanding, "Do you want to hold him?" he offers, carefully extending Aenar to her, sharing in the joy of her holding her grandson.

Alicent, tears streaming down her cheeks and visibly moved, nods in a touched nod with her gaze reflecting all her emotions, joy and awe.

She takes another step forward and reaches out her arms, where Aemond carefully places Aenar in her arms, who now watches him adoringly and with a mixture of happiness and emotion reflected in her gaze.

Alicent can't help but let out a couple more tears as Aenar babbles and watches her with great wonder, moving his small hands to her brown hair, starting to play with her curls, making her laugh softly in the midst of her tears and all the emotions she feels.

Aemond watches his mother tenderly as she enjoys her first encounter with her grandson, while you can't help but feel moved as well and wipe away a few tears that have escaped your eyes, watching the moment with emotion and nostalgia.

"My little Aenar," Alicent whispers, tenderly kissing his forehead, cradling him in her arms.

Aemond, still smiling and holding back his tears, diverts his gaze to you and you watch him back, where you both share a small smile and a silent complicity, both feeling the same way and recognizing the happiness this moment has brought to your lives.

And then Helaena approaches together with Daeron towards her mother, to watch Aenar and share the joy of the moment.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" comments Helaena, smiling, as Daeron watches him with a small smile of adoration and strokes his silver hair tenderly.

"Absolutely beautiful," whispers Alicent, her eyes shining with tenderness, not taking her eyes off him for a second.

"He's lovely," Rhaenyra comments with her soft little smile.

And then Alicent lifts his gaze to Aemond.

"And he looks exactly like you, darling," she tells him tenderly, recognizing the familiar features on Aenar's face and creating a moment full of emotion and family connection.

Aemond, touched and grateful, smiles at his mother's words.

"I think he has a little bit of both," Aemond replies, sharing a proud look with you.

Aenar physically by hair and eyes resembles Aemond, but some features of his face he definitely inherited from you and you can't help but smile in his direction.

And then, within the next few minutes, the whole family continues to make affectionate moments with Aenar. Helaena being the most excited is the one who now holds Aenar tenderly in her arms, leaving a couple of loving kisses on her cheek, while Rhaenyra approaches her to observe Aenar with a motherly gaze.

The imposing figure of Otto Hightower stands watching with satisfaction the scene unfolding in front of him, especially as he sees the happiness and excitement of Alicent and his grandchildren.

He doesn't say much, but his presence exudes a sense of quiet approval and though he doesn't show it, he honestly feels proud of Aemond, this reunion of his family and the arrival of a new member to it.

As Aegon approaches towards Aemond with a friendly, warm smile, placing a hand on his shoulder where he shares his gesture of brotherhood and pride.

"Congratulations, brother," he tells him sincerely, "He is beautiful and a mini version of you."

Aemond nods gratefully, the smile on his lips and places one of his hands on top of his.

"Thank you, brother. I appreciate it."

Now it is Daeron who takes Aenar in his arms and carries him to his play area, followed by Helaena, Rhaenyra, Alicent and you.

Helaena also takes a seat on the carpet with Alicent and the three of them start playing with him, who shows his enthusiasm and fills the living room with his giggles, melting the hearts of everyone present.

The atmosphere definitely becomes livelier and warmer, transforming into a special moment for everyone, where both you and Aenar feel completely comfortable and happy.

And as a few long minutes pass, Aemond watches all the interaction, happy and completely pleased, seeing how you converse with Rhaenyra and the rest of his family is totally entertained by Aenar.

Even his mother asks to have her picture taken with him and slowly begins to fill a new photo album of her grandson on her phone reel, completely enchanted with him.

Such a sight and such a moment couldn't make him happier, being a moment he needed so much and couldn't be more proud of. And how could he not?

His watching his son integrate into his family. And you are definitely getting along great with all of them.

Aegon stands by his side, sharing the gesture of complicity as they watch Helaena and Daeron make sounds with Aenar's toys that make him laugh and squeal with happiness.

Absolutely beautiful.

"So..." Aegon begins to say beside him, catching his attention, "You're going to show him to the world?"

He watches him intently, as Aemond holds his gaze for a second to look back at Aenar with an affectionate gaze, smiling softly.

"That's what Y/N would have wanted at first, when she got pregnant," he says softly, remembering those painful moments, "But no, at least not yet," he replies, turning his gaze back to his brother, "We talk and want to give him a normal childhood as much as possible."

Aegon nods with understanding, listening to him with full attention, then lets out a sigh, watching Aenar.

"The world is going to go mad when they find out, little brother," he says with an amused smile.

"I don't care," he says with a shrug, "All I care about is him."

Aegon smiles warmly again, acknowledging Aemond's priority as a father and he couldn't be prouder of him. He may be the older brother but Aemond...he's the one who matured first, always cleaning up his shit and making sure everyone was okay.

And even though when Aemond told them about this, about you and Aenar, it turned out to be a complete disaster, Aegon is glad that right now his family is responding in this way, loving you and Aenar.

"And what happened to Criston?"

He decides to ask you, curious and attentive, as Aemond takes a moment and exhales deeply, he too being a person who brings back horrible memories of the past.

"I fired him," he replies with a disinterested wave of his hand, "And his entire team too," he adds, "That's what I should have done in the beginning with him."

"And he threatened you?"

Aemond lets out an amused smile, remembering those days as well.

"Yes but I hired a lawyer and they made him sign a confidentiality sheet," he explains, "He couldn't do anything against that."

Aegon nods, pleased to hear those words, as you both turn your gaze back to the family, where Aenar's laughter still echoes throughout the living room, Aemond smiling lovingly as he watches his mother assail him with soft kisses.

Your soft laughter catches your attention as well, watching you with almost the same adoration and love as he watches Aenar, watching you converse with Rhaenyra where you both let out soft giggles at whatever it is you are talking about.

And he can't help but watch you extra longingly, wistfully, happily and longingly, loving to see the smile on your lips and the look of joy you have, his perfect and beautiful Y/N.

He honestly doesn't know what would have become of him if he had never seen you again. He'll probably still be sunk in his misery, regretful and trapped. But with each passing day he thanks the Gods for this, again and again, this second chance.

And Aegon doesn't take this unnoticed, the way his brother is looking at you.

"You really fucked things up with her, didn't you?"

His words break the spell he was under and he bites his lips, averting his gaze from you, beginning to feel ashamed and also with that guilt simmering in his chest.

"Yeah," he replies in a low murmur.

"You still love her."

Aegon tells him watching him intently with a complicity and understanding, not asking any questions, as he is making a statement, affirming it.

And Aemond again speaks the truth, neither denying it nor hiding it.

"Never stop doing so."

Aegon lets out a long breath, honestly feeling bad for him, to place his hand on his shoulder again.

"Brother, we all make mistakes," he tells him softly, "People fuck up and fuck up badly. I'm sure you get that from a person like me," he points to himself, still speaking in a serious tone, "And the important thing is to learn from them and move on. And I'm sure she's seen that in you."

"No, Aegon," he says softly, shaking his head, "What happened between us was different and... unforgivable," he says with the slight pain in his tone, "This is all happening only for Aenar and his well-being."

"So you don't plan to do anything about it?"

"I don't know," he says regretfully, letting out a sigh, "Things are complicated. And with everything that happened surely Y/N doesn't feel that way about me anymore. Besides what really matters is Aenar and I want to be a good father to him."

"I understand that, brother. But maybe all is not lost and all you need to do is try," he tells him in an encouraging tone, "Life is unpredictable, you know? And who knows... maybe Y/N still has feelings for you."

Aemond grimaces.

"I don't know, bro. I don't think so."

Aegon decides to say no more, just nods, for after all, he understands the complexity of his situation. And inevitably, though he shouldn't, with the words he has spoken to him, Aemond feels a small glimmer of hope.

Meanwhile the inside of your house continues to fill with laughter and conversation as everyone enjoys family time. And in the middle of it all, Alicent notices you going to the kitchen for a moment, this catching her attention and being the opportunity to talk to you.

So, giving her attention away from her grandson since she arrived, without saying anything to anyone, she discreetly follows you into the kitchen.

As she passes through the frame, she sees you arranging the drinks that Aemond prepared for them on a tray, wanting to offer them. But when Alicent's figure entering the kitchen catches your attention, you immediately turn to her.

"I don't intend to take up too much of your time, my dear," Alicent hastens to speak with a small smile on her lips.

"Oh, yeah, yeah," you nod immediately, "Do you need something?"

"I just want to talk to you," she answers you softly, "And it's nothing bad, I just... want to thank you for welcoming us into your home," she says, showing the sincerity in her look and tone, "I honestly haven't felt this happy in my life in a long time. And meeting Aenar has definitely made me very happy," she pauses a little, "Thank you."

"No, no, you don't have to thank me," you reply, with a soft look, "It's a pleasure to have all of you here. And you have made Aenar very happy too."

"No, I really do thank you," she insists with a soft tone, "Your home is beautiful and definitely an excellent place for Aenar to grow up."

"Oh, thank you," you smile kindly at her, "Actually this house was bought by Aemond. He must have told them or at least you, I suppose."

"Yes, he did," she nods, "He also told us how much you refused at first but I understand you. It must have been a very meaningful but very overwhelming gesture for you."

You nod with understanding, biting your lips.

"Yes," you murmur, "Yes it was. But I only accepted for Aenar," you hasten to clarify, "I didn't do it for my own convenience, whether for money or fame. I accepted for Aenar, so that he could have his father in his life and together give him the best."

"Yes, sweetheart," she advances towards you and takes your hands between her gently, "I know," she assures you, "You don't have to explain anything, everything is more than understandable."

You let out a long breath.

"Thank you," you tell her sincerely.

"It's okay," she smiles softly at you, "And listen, I-I... I really don't want to make you uncomfortable nor do I want to make you feel bad, in fact Aemond asked me not to talk to you about this but..." she looks at you with some tenderness and longing, "I just want to tell you how very brave you are, Y/N."

You shudder at the sweetness of her unexpected words, feeling a warmth run through your chest as a mixture of gratitude and longing flashes across your face, suddenly feeling completely vulnerable.

"I didn't blame you for deciding to run away, no one judges you for it."

She lets you know by telling you in a soft voice and as tactfully as possible.

"As much as I would have loved to have met you sooner, Aemond's decisions were terrible and I can't imagine everything you had to go through on your own," she says with slight shock and sadness, holding your hand tighter, "Your pregnancy, living in a new unfamiliar place and trying to make it on your own."

You bite your lips, feeling a sharp pain in your chest and tears begin to form in your eyes, but you gather your strength and try not to let them fall despite the memories of painful moments.

Her words resonate with genuine understanding and her warm touch brings you a comfort you didn't expect but definitely needed.

"Yes," you whisper, feeling the lump in your throat, "It was very scary and very difficult," you confess, "But Aenar made every sacrifice worth it."

"Of course," she murmurs, with a sympathetic look.

"Oh and... it must have been hard for you too," you say, remembering, "In those days seeing Aemond so sad and desperate must have worried you a lot. It even almost put in danger his career and you had no idea about me and what had happened."

"Yes, that was very scary too," she nods with a sad smile, "We didn't know what had happened, he pushed everyone away, even Helaena and... I couldn't stand to see him like that, but he wouldn't accept our help either," she explains, "But now, just like me, I've never seen Aemond so happy in his life."

Her tone is genuine and you hold her gaze with appreciation and understanding, feeling completely grateful for this pleasant acceptance and welcome by Aemond's family.

And in that moment you can feel, as Alicent does, how your connection grows stronger in your shared understanding of past challenges and new hope.

"You are a strong woman, Y/N. And I also want you to know that regardless of the circumstances between you and Aemond, I want you to know that you are part of our family now and we are here to support you."

You feel a happiness and relief course through your body, grateful for her words and her total understanding, as you nod in her direction.

"Thank you, Alicent."

And Alicent unable to contain herself, wraps you in a hug full of tenderness that you reciprocate, with the atmosphere filling with a sense of mutual acceptance and support.

And from there, the rest of the afternoon is spent sharing laughter and creating special memories.

Aegon plays with Aenar while Daeron and Helaena join in the fun, making your little one laugh with every quip and funny face that Aegon especially makes.

Alicent and Rhaenyra also join in, creating a connection with Aenar and showing him affection, while Aemond and you watch it all sitting together on the couch, each with a smile on your lips.

Until the visit comes to an end and the family says goodbye with expressions of gratitude and affection. Helaena is the one who insists on exchanging numbers to stay in touch, while she along with Alicent and Aegon promise to visit again soon.

It's a bit hard for Alicent to want to let go of Aenar, but eventually she does and then Aemond and you finish picking up and sorting all of Aenar's scattered toys.

Until it's also time for Aemond to leave.

"Thank you for this day. It was amazing and better than I could have hoped for. Even mom loves you more than she ever loved me."

You smile in his direction sincerely, laughing softly.

"It was nothing, Aemond. It was all very nice. Your family was very kind and Aenar had a great time."

"Yes," he murmurs as he watches his little boy adoringly and then turns his gaze back to you, "Still, thank you... for everything."

You see the intent in his gaze, also in his body, the way he fights it, catching your attention and being a bit amused at it, then moving towards him and wrapping your arms around his neck, hugging him.

Surprised and definitely not expecting that, Aemond doesn't take long to reciprocate your embrace, a little hesitantly at first but he does, slipping his arms around your waist and pulling you close against him.

A sigh escapes his lips as he closes his eye, feeling that warmth in his body and that almost happiness at the sensation of having you close again.

He had missed it.

The embrace conveys a mutual support and understanding, also a kind of affection that Aemond can't quite decipher.

But honestly at that moment he doesn't mind and allows himself to enjoy and seize every moment of this feeling, knowing that he may not be able to have you again soon in this way, before you both part and he drives to his apartment.

Regular visits from the Aemond family to your home become a pleasant daily moment. Each encounter brings laughter, love and a sense of family unity.

Aenar, with his contagious laughter, becomes the center of attention, further strengthening family bonds.

The bond between Aenar and his relatives grows stronger over time, so his extended family becomes fully involved in his growth and development. Laughter and play fill the halls of your home, creating precious memories.

Eventually you also meet the rest of Aemond's family as well as Aenar, like Daemon Targaryen, who is definitely a bit more intimidating than Otto Hightower. But once Daemon feels confident, he's the coolest guy.

You also meet Aemond's cousins, the twins Baela and Rhaena, Daemon's daughters, who are extremely kind and sweet to you.

And you also meet Rhaenyra's sons, Jace, Luke and Joffrey, where eventually she also introduces you to her youngest children, Aegon and Viserys.

Your relationship with each member of the Targaryen-Hightower family develop into genuine friendships. Helaena, Rhaenyra and Alicent become confidants and allies to Aenar's shared upbringing.

The complicity between the women in the family is supportive and builds a safe and loving environment for Aenar and the rest of the children.

Until, on occasion, you decide to take Aenar to the majestic Targaryen-Hightower mansion. The incredible residence becomes a second home for him, who explores every corner with curiosity and becomes familiar with the new walls.

Aegon, as the older brother he is, becomes his second protective figure. Together they share adventures through the mansion's extensive gardens and enjoy playing with Legos blocks or his plastic carts.

With Helaena, she connects with Aenar through her charm and utterly beautiful aura, always playing with him, carrying him in her arms and telling him fantasy stories with gestures and figures.

And with Daeron, Aenar loves it when he watches his favorite cartoons with him. Also eventually Aenar becomes his weakness, as he always fills him with more toys and always thinks of him to give him everything that makes him happy, even food.

And when Aenar cries, Daeron is the first of the siblings to come to him, slightly concerned and immediately wanting to make him feel good.

Meanwhile, your relationship with Aemond, while not resuming the romance of the past, transforms into a serene, enjoyable and respectful one. Aenar's upbringing becomes the main point of building his future and lacking nothing.

Although memories of the painful past persist, both have learned to cope and accept it, in order to move forward.

And eventually, in a significant moment and one that lasted hours of conversation between Aemond and you, also one that was an arduous process of documentation and much waiting, a culmination of a stage of your life is realized that further solidifies the unique connection between Aenar, Aemond and you.

A recognition that brings with it a clear message of commitment and love for the future of your family. The significant moment when Aemond asks for your permission to legally recognize his child and you allow him to do so.

It was not something you had to think about too much, as Aemond has shown you so much and the emotion in his eyes through his tears when you said yes, only further confirmed the fact that you were not making a wrong decision.

And everyone in the family celebrates when Aemond's last name is added to your son's name and he is finally named Aenar Targaryen.

general taglist:

@imaegonstargaryenswife0 @bellstwd @gibbsgirl7 @toodlesxcuddles @imsoshygirl @croatianprincess @gemini-mama @a-little-roony-mara @mysteris-things @zenka69 @at-a-rax-ia @fan-goddess @duds31 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @eternally-passionate @bellaisasleep @ttkttt @aemshaircare @mellowdreamlandpost-blog @noodle81937 @mooncalvin @queenofshinigamis @n4tforlife @vexladin @dixie-elocin @wotcherpeak @watercolorskyy @shiny-trashs-blog @strangersunghoon @elysian0612 @skzenhalove @iloveallmyboys @cakescupcakesminicookies

#aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x you #aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond targaryen x y/n #hotd aemond #aemond x fem!reader #aemond x oc #aemond x reader #aemond one eye #aemond targaryen angst #aemond x y/n #modern hotd #modern au #modern aemond

[deadbydangit]

Hi! Could you possibly write something about the Entity giving the killer's S/o an outfit of their partner? It's a bit different from the killer's outfit but its still basically just a cosplay of them.

Maybe this with Ghostface, Oni, Trapper, Trickster, and Spirit? Thank you in advance! I love your work <33

That's such a cute idea! That you, that really makes this all worth while hearing everyone enjoy my writing. I hope you enjoy.

With a reader who has been given an outfit similar to their killer s/o

Ghostface, Oni, Trapper, Trickster, Spirit

Ghostface

Hold up cutie!

Picture time.

And selfies of the two of you.

He's going to spend over an hour taking pictures of you in your new outfit.

You know those mothers who insist on taking a hundred photos before their kids go to prom?

Yeah, that's Danny.

There's just going to be rolls upon rolls of pictures of just you in your new costume.

He's an arrogant guy, so seeing you like this really boosts his overconfidence.

Watching as you run across the trial grounds looking like him makes him laugh uncontrollably.

It's even better when a survivor thinks you're him and freaks out.

"You know babe, if you had just told me you liked my outfit so much earlier, I would've got you one. I didn't know you worshipped me that much."

He really just can't get enough of you.

So make sure to show the outfit off.

Oni

What ever are you wearing?

You can hardly move in those!

Did the Entity give you those?

Why?

How dare it try to place his image on another.

Even if it is you, he still finds the Entity to be rather disrespectful.

Kazan won't say it out loud, but he thinks it's absolutely adorable.

The fact that some of it is just too big makes you look so childlike and innocent.

He'll pretend he dislikes it though.

Put your version of the mask on and roar at him.

That will get him laughing.

Don't worry, he actually loves it.

He just doesn't know how to tell you.

Seeing you wear it helps show everyone that you're his.

Trapper

Evan comes from a time when certain clothing expectations were placed on men and women.

Women wore dresses and skirts.

Men wore suits and pants.

Seeing you dressed like him?

It almost felt improper.

But part of it he felt so charming.

That you love him enough to even try and copy his style.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

He may not be as arrogant as Ghostface, but he does feel rather prideful when he looks at how you wear the clothes.

If you can lay down a bear trap on your own?

Help this man he is getting the ring right now.

Trickster

Out of all of them, he'd be the most offended.

That's his style!

No one is as unique and special as him!

Why are you dressed like that?

Are you mocking his style?

Assure him you aren't, because he will pout otherwise.

"Ah, I see. You like it so much you want to be like me."

As if that's the only answer.

He still won't be too pleased.

Instead, he'll try and find clothes that are similar to his style rather than identical.

He wants to be original.

Can't be original if someone is copying him.

But he will be flattered.

And seeing you wear the clothes he picks out for you only boosts his overconfidence.

That, and his love for you.

Spirit

Twinsys!

She's going to love it!

Rin isn't like the others who are super self-absorbed or stress originality.

She's more excited that she gets to match with you now.

It's almost like best friend energy.

And she is going to be getting you both more matching clothes.

"Look! I found the cutest skirt! Let's try them on."

She didn't really get to do any of this when she was alive, so the chance to do it here? With you?

She's fangirling.

However, she doesn't like it if you're wearing her outfit that is just bandages.

It's not because she doesn't like it on you

It's because she doesn't like it on herself.

It's dangerous to walk around like that!

It's just because she loves you that she's so protective.

"Now try this kimono on with me!"

#dbd imagines #dbd ask blog #dbd x reader #dbd killer #dbd ghostface #dbd trickster #dbd trapper #dbd spirit #dbd oni

[ivesambrose]

May mini messages 🍇

1. 2. 3.

Indepth Month ahead reading slots open for $20 only 🩷

DM or email me at [email protected] to book

Paid services

Pick a picture readings

Feedback

Tips appreciated ✨

Gif 1

A sense of leadership and accountability will be awakened in you this month. For some towards others or their career/studies or pursuits and for some towards themselves. Maybe in the past few months people have told you to 'humble yourself' or have projected an energy of, 'well, you're not special. So be quiet.' which in turn made you second guess your own capabilities. Well, that is about to snap itself in half. Because you'll realize you do yourself a great deal of disservice when you give into this mindset. There's a fine line between humility and straight up imposter syndrome.

You'll also be feeling connected to the spiritual side of yourself. Now this is something very personal to you but you may feel as though you're receiving intuitive nudges or spiritual downloads. Mostly in the form of words, phrases, messages, texts etc. You may also be inclined to write or express yourself more. A part of your mind will be very analytical but in the sense that you'll have more discernment instead of giving into herd mentality.

There will be steady progress and even promotions for some or some of you might just pave your own way because you got tired of building things for others when you could surely use your talents elsewhere or for yourself.

Channel your aggression in any kind of sports or just brisk walking. Nearing the end of the month you'll feel very excited about something that makes you feel that the true summer of your life has just begun.

Gif 2

This month, remind yourself that every expert was once a novice that didn't give up. So if there's something you've always wanted to do but were too reluctant to try because you weren't already perfect at it, discard the perfectionism mindset and go for it.

You may really want to go back to a time of your life where things seemed more innocent and sweet before you got too hyper aware of everything and being a responsible adult took away the child like wonder that you once had. Please allow yourself to indulge and find beauty in everything.

Likely whilst revisiting this energy you'll figure out your true calling in life. You'll also realize the more fun you have or the more you engage in activities that just seem silly yet exciting, even as simple as watching a film and making that your personality for a week or discussing new or old things with a friend, the quicker you find clarity, confidence and things falling in place for you or manifestions coming in quicker.

You'll feel more in tune with your emotions without having to dissect them or discard them.

Some of you may also be drawn to flowers, floral designs or fragrances. Like I said, a childlike wonder towards things more. The more those aspects of you are catered to the happier and peaceful you'll be.

Towards the middle or end of the month you may have improptu travels and events to celebrate with your friends and family.

Some of you always have an ancestor or a late family member looking over you, they want you to realize your worth and take pride in yourself and your accomplishments and what you will be accomplishing ahead.

Gif 3

Romantic admirers and romance in general but a lot of healing when it comes to the wounds relating to the matters of the heart and relationships, doesn't have to be solely romantic relationships but the ones that were significant to you but caused you pain along the way.

I see you romanticizing your life this month, at least starting to. I literally heard, "this is my Sophia Copolla movie era, I do not care."

For some of my ladies and those who identify as women, if you were having issues related to let's say hormones or coming into your femininity in the past this will be a good month to recover and heal those.

You'll be putting yourself on the pedastal and focusing on your physical appearance, aesthetics, skin and hair health and well being. You just want to slow down, make a routine for yourself, see which supplements suit you best etc

Some of you may be wanting to get into a creative, intertaintment or fashion industry so you'll be making that your primary focus. There will be a lot of deep changes, lot of discarding the old story, old mindsets etc moving away from chaotic times to happier ones.

Some of the events in this month might just feel destined or that whatever is happening is leading you to your goal or life path. Keep a tunnel vision when it comes to your desires as priority.

#free readings #tarot community #divination community #pick a card #pick a gif #pick a picture #PAC #pick a card reading #pick a picture reading #tarotdaily #tarot readers #tarotblr #tarot business #psychic reading #psychics

[regressionschool]

The picture is  property of @missstuffie-blog

Molly had always been a skeptic. Ouija boards, in her mind, were nothing more than a parlor game, a tool for imagination to run wild. Yet, that chilly autumn evening, she found herself drawn to the old board hidden in the back of her closet. The flickering candlelight danced across the letters and numbers, casting an eerie glow.

With a mix of trepidation and curiosity, Molly placed her hands on the planchette. She took a deep breath and asked, "Is there anyone here with me?"

The planchette moved, gliding smoothly towards 'YES'. Molly's heart quickened, her skepticism momentarily replaced with a surge of excitement. Could it be?

Her next question was more specific. "Who are you?"

The planchette moved again, spelling out a name that tugged at Molly's memory. 'S-A-M'. It sent a shiver down her spine. She didn't know any Sams, at least not consciously.

She hesitated before her next question. "What do you want, Sam?"

The planchette moved with purpose. 'F-R-I-E-N-D.'

A friend? Molly's skepticism reared its head again, but a nagging feeling told her to press on. She glanced around her room, eyes falling on a stuffed animal perched on her bed. Without thinking, she picked it up, a sense of comfort washing over her.

"What's your favorite memory, Sam?" Molly inquired, her words flowing more easily now.

The planchette seemed to hover for a moment before spelling out 'P-L-A-Y'.

Play? Molly felt a strange sensation wash over her, like a fog settling in her mind. Her thoughts seemed simpler, more focused on the immediate moment.

Without missing a beat, Molly continued. "Do you like games, Sam?"

The planchette responded eagerly, spelling out 'Y-E-S'. Molly's own responses were becoming more childlike, her skepticism giving way to a sense of wonder.

As the minutes passed, the questions flowed effortlessly from Molly. She asked about favorite toys, colors, and places to play. Sam's answers guided her, leading her deeper into a world of innocent fascination.

Then, a realization struck Molly. She felt a strange feeling against her skin. She looked down, only to discover that she was now wearing a thick pull-up. It was as if it had materialized out of thin air. Confusion flickered in her eyes, but she didn't feel alarmed. Instead, she absentmindedly patted the padding, the texture intriguing to her regressing mind.

Molly felt an odd compulsion, a yearning for a sense of security. She spotted a pacifier on her nightstand and picked it up, instinctively placing it in her mouth. The rubbery nipple felt oddly soothing against her tongue.

A sudden sensation in her lower body drew Molly's attention. She felt a strange warmth, spreading slowly. She glanced down, the telltale bulge of her pull-up now quite evident. Confusion knitted her brows. What did this mean?

Turning to the Ouija board, Molly hesitated for a moment before asking, "What does this feeling mean?"

The planchette moved, spelling out 'C-H-A-N-G-E'.

Change? Molly furrowed her brows in bewilderment. Before she could contemplate further, she blinked in surprise. In an instant, the wet feeling vanished, replaced by a sense of dry comfort. She looked down and saw that her pull-up had miraculously transformed, now a thick, dry diaper.

Molly couldn't help herself. Her fingers brushed against the soft padding, exploring its thickness with newfound curiosity. It felt strange yet oddly reassuring, cocooning her in a sense of security she hadn't expected.

Her touch lingered, fingertips tracing the edges of the diaper. It was a peculiar sensation, one that she couldn't quite put into words. Molly marveled at the comfort it provided, a stark contrast to her initial confusion.

With a newfound sense of determination, Molly asked her final question. "Can you show me where we can play together, Sam?"

The planchette moved eagerly, spelling out 'Y-E-S'. Molly felt a strange energy in the room, a tingling sensation that seemed to dance across her skin.

Suddenly, the world around her shifted. Colors became brighter, shapes more vivid. She was no longer in her room, but in a fantastical playroom filled with toys, soft mats, and other regressed women like herself. The air was filled with giggles and laughter, a sense of carefree joy permeating the space.

Molly looked around in wonder, her heart brimming with a newfound innocence and excitement. It was a world she never thought she'd see, a realm of magic and regression that she now embraced with open arms. And in that moment, she knew she was exactly where she was meant to be.

#ab/dl caption #ab/dl stories #ab/dl girl #diaper stories #ab/dl diaper #diaper captions #wetting diaper #halloween

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Finding

Part 3 to this

Part 2 here

Part 4 here

The next morning, Lan Zhan gathers up enough courage to leave his room - lonely and cold as he felt - to check on Wei Ying. He knocks three times, and enters when he is granted permission.

He finds Wei Ying already dressed, admiring himself in the large mirror of the room. "I didn't expect to look so much like myself in this new body. I think I look quite pretty!"

Lan Zhan allows himself to come up behind Wei Ying, maintaining a bit of distance between them so as not to frighten him or push his boundaries in any way. If he had lost the Wei Ying that loved him, at least he did not want to lose all of Wei Ying completely.

Lan Zhan glances into the mirror, watching Wei Ying. He seems fascinated with himself, tracing his features with his fingers in childlike wonder before moving on to admiring his clothing.

"You are very beautiful, Wei Ying."

"Thank you!" A little blush, "These robes such good quality, Lan Zhan!" And he does a half twirl. "I don't even remember the last time I wore something so fancy! Silk, embroidery, you must be spoiling me rotten!"

"Mn. I am."

Wei Ying turns to look in the mirror and begins messing with his hair. "Say, how do I usually style this?"

"Up, but sometimes you let me braid it."

"Then do you think you could braid it for me today?"

"Mn."

Wei Ying takes a seat at the vanity and is about to hand Lan Zhan a red ribbon, but he reaches to undo his forehead ribbon instead.

"That... means a lot to you."

"So do you. You always have."

"You used to get angry when I'd play with it."

"I've changed my mind."

Wei Ying hums, then silence blankets them. Lan Zhan allows himself to be absorbed with his task, carefully crossing sections of Wei Ying's hair in a simple, loose braid.

"Can I ask you some questions, Lan Zhan?"

"Mn."

"How did I die?"

Lan Zhan's fingers pause in Wei Ying's hair. "You never shared specifics, you just told me you became overwhelmed with resentful energy when trying to destroy the amulet. Why do you ask?"

"I had a... dream. Or a memory, a vision, I don't know. I wanted to see if it was true. Looks like it is."

"What else did you... see?"

"A ghost hand, Wen Ning, you... it was all convoluted, I couldn't tell you exactly what was happening, but it was a lot..."

"Would you like me to tell you?"

"Is it... okay for you to do that? I may not remember much but I can tell you're... devastated with whatever's happened to me that has me like this. You don't have to push yourself."

"I am not, it's alright." A lie, but Lan Zhan can't stand to see Wei Ying so confused and fearful anymore. Maybe he'll even remember some things if Lan Zhan recounts them to him.

"Okay, then tell me. What happened to me in all of these years?"

And Lan Zhan does. He tells Wei Ying about the ghost hand and Mo manor, about how he took Wei Ying to the Cloud Recesses so he wouldn't fall victim to sect leader Jiang's whims, about what happened in Yi City, about Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao and Guanyin Temple.

About the first time he drank and how much Wei Ying delighted in teasing him, about their song, about Sizhui and the other juniors, about their confession and their wedding and their honeymoon.

He has long finished braiding Wei Ying's hair, but he has done and undone it all throughout the story, more or less consciously, desperate to have even the slightest physical contact with him. Lan Zhan struggles so much with not being able to touch Wei Ying, to kiss him, to feel his body clinging to his own that he's going to take up every opportunity he can get to do so.

As the story ends with yesterday events, Lan Zhan finally weaves his forehead ribbon through Wei Ying's braid and lets go.

"Our life sounds like a fairytale." Wei Ying says, a dreamy lilt to his voice. "I can't believe this is how it turned out for me in the end."

Lan Zhan wants to kiss him and he wants to cry and he's so overcome with emotion -love, grief, desperation- that his breath stutters with it. Wei Ying places the braid on his shoulder and traces his fingers over the ribbon in it.

"There is something I saw in my... visions from last night that you haven't told me about."

"Hm?"

"I saw... you had scars. On your back, many of them. A discipline whip."

Lan Zhan exhales and closes his eyes.

"I used to have scars like that too." Wei Ying continues, his fingertips inevitably drawn to the ribbon, finding comfort in it subconsciously. "When the Wens invaded Lotus Pier, Wang Lingjao demanded I be punished for disrespecting Wen Chao. Madam Yu whipped me with Zidian to appease her. The scars never got to heal because I then gave my core to Jiang Cheng, so I had them all throught my... first life."

That knowledge has Lan Zhan unable to refrain from wrapping his arms around Wei Ying, enveloping him from the back like a shield against lashing that has long happened.

Wei Ying tenses a bit, but does not push away. Lan Zhan is relieved with it, and allows himself to squeeze Wei Ying a little harder, hiding his face in the space between his neck and shoulder.

"After Nightless City, I sought you out to take you somewhere safe and run away with you. Even if you kept pushing me away, I never let you go. But my sect found us hiding and demanded I hand you over. I refused and a fight broke out. I injured 33 elders and should have been executed, but brother and uncle pleaded that I be spared. So I received 33 lashes with the discipline whip as punishment. It took me 3 years to heal, but within months after, I came looking for you when I was told you were dead. That's how I found A-Yuan."

Wei Ying feels two matching droplets fall on his shoulder, and turns his head to leave a fleeting kiss on Lan Zhan's cheek. It's almost involuntary, he doesn't think of it when he does it, and it surprises them both.

"Wei Ying... you don't have to- for my comfort-"

"I want to. I think... I think I've always wanted to." A shy smile. "I never had the time to really think about... love, with everything that happened. But I think I've always loved you, I just never knew that the way I felt about you was called that."

Wei Ying finally stands up and turns to his husband. "When Wen Chao threw me in the Burial Mounds, I used to dream of you, sometimes. We would be in the library and you'd silence me while you worked so I'd write the rules, or you'd catch me sneaking wine in, things like that." A small laugh. "It made living there a lot easier. Just the thought of you gave me hope. It does even now. I don't know if this can be fixed, and while I've done a lot of impossible things, it's never a guarantee I'll succeed this time too. But just knowing you're here with me is enough to make me want to try regardless."

"Wei Ying..."

"Even if I don't remember a lot of things, I know that I love you, that I feel safe with you, that you're my home and my future and my everything. And even if I never get my memories back, I'll just make new ones with you!"

Lan Zhan can't stop himself from kissing Wei Ying now, and he's yelling at himself in his head about it, about overstepping boundaries and losing Wei Ying because he can't control himself.

But Wei Ying kisses him back and all those doubts fade away.

Eventually, they break apart, breathless and teary-eyed.

"I know I'm not your Wei Ying right now-"

Lan Zhan cups his face, caressing his cheeks with his thumbs. "You are. Always have been, always will be, no matter what happens. You're mine and I'm yours."

Wei Ying burrows in his husband's arms, holding him tight. "I wish to never forget this again."

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wangxian #writing attempts #theres one more part. i say. with no suspicious intent.

[beyondthebackup]

I thought I would become like I was when I was a child.

I don't remember much, because I don't really care about anything that happened back then.

It was a prologue, unexciting, and people keep telling me that it explains why I am the way I am, but it doesn't.

I've always been this way.

From the moment I came to be.

My parents were side characters,

They looked like me and I'm certain we shared compulsions,

Emptiness,

Obsession,

Rage.

These things exist in all humans at different times.

I am really not so different.

They taught me about death and the futility of struggle.

All I ever did was watch.

I felt nothing.

There was nothing.

When they lived, I did not care.

When they died, I did not care.

I did not care that I was alone,

I did not care when I went to an orphanage.

I did not care that I was disliked,

And I did not care that they had reason to dislike me.

I did what I wanted, but I didn't want anything.

Boring, right?

It was all just a boring blur before

You.

Quillsh Wammy. That old man. I avoided him on purpose, but he plucked me out like a big fish in a small pond.

Do you think I felt special when he told me I was a genius?

I laughed at him, I told him I didn't want to be adopted by a creepy old man like him. I didn't understand anything and I didn't want to understand. He smiled at me and told me not to worry, that I wasn't being adopted.

I was shipped off the next day. Like cargo.

I fucking hate that old man.

My black and white and red memories become full color the first time I see eyes like a pale blue sky

A shade of red I've never seen before,

Something like peaches or the dried blood on the corner of my mother's lip, like the lick of a fire and third place medals and caramel drizzled over ice cream.

Wammy's gift:

A

new

toy.

I didn't know what I would do with you then,

I just thought you were shiny.

I didn't insult you like I did the old man. Not right away. I resisted the urge to reach out and touch your face -

press my fingertips into those stormy puddles in your eyes.

It was a childlike curiosity. As innocent as I'd ever been, and even then,

The desire to pluck them out for a closer look was hidden, and maybe you sensed it in me anyway

that energy,

that twitch in my fingers that breaks all my toys.

I've always been like this.

As a child, to resist my urges was quite the accomplishment.

I unfurled each finger one by one, stiff and mechanical as any handshake is, and extended it to you like a fucking robot. You could see I barely knew how to lift my arm by my strings.

Or was it my eyes?

I couldn't help myself. You were so shiny. You must have felt that I was probing you, shamelessly tracing over your face with my fingers in my mind. I memorized your expiration date, but it meant nothing to me then.

I was such a fool.

You must've known I was drinking you in because I was empty, and starving to devour anything with the weakest flicker of color or light ~

You were blinding.

I was not practiced then.

I learned about warmth from you.

I learned how to soften my gaze, how to touch something lightly, how to speak gently from you.

You had no idea what you were creating. I was drinking deeply from your well that entire time.

The circumstances under which we met were so intimate and developmental, I can't really be blamed for it, can I?

Imitation. I've always been rewarded for it.

It helped me bury my unacceptable thoughts, and it helped me stay on your heels as I was told that my value in that place was contingent on my stepping on you~

You tried so hard to obscure your light from me and shut the doors and pull the curtains and hide under your covers but you could not,

You were blinding.

I was born on a lonely island, all trees and shadow and freezing water.

But they trained me with your scent and set me loose like a hunting dog,

I was ravenous,

I knew hunger,

I was set alight.

I became fire.

We taught each other a lot of things, didn't we?

I learned how to feel alive

From you.

...

...

I thought when you abandoned me,

I would become like I was when I was a child.

Empty, like I had been born again,

Naive, innocent,

That person I became for you would vanish

I would put down the viewfinder

And get a new toy.

...

I was wrong.

I am empty, but not like before.

This is worse.

#backup notes #a death note #post a death #beyond birthday #it is suffer time #wammys house #death note

[sillylittlegay]

CoD Short story; GhostSoap Jealousy Part 7

Maybe Soap and Ghost should've been acting different around base. Rumors spread fast and the way these two acted around each other definitely didn't help their case.

Not that they were complaining – it was comfortable. Sure, they would've liked not having rookies stare at them and they would've gladly accepted being able to not be the talk of base, but all in all they didn't mind.

They had each other and that's what counted for them.

For the first time in years Ghost felt hope – for a better life, for a future.

And Soap finally didn't feel unlovable anymore – he had someone he belonged to even if this person was the last he'd see himself end up with.

Maybe they should've acted different around base, but who was to blame them? Hugs for comfort were a daily must, cheek kisses a simple need of the two. They could've kept it hidden, could've closed themselves off of everything, but why should they? Why shouldn't they openly share the fact that they felt love, even if their work could bring a cruel death upon them? Why shouldn't they show the way that they held each other up just by being there? Neither of them minded. Neither of them cared.

And Ghost didn't care about what others thought.

Why should he, when he had Soap by his side? Why should he, when Soap was all he ever needed?

And Soap was happy to have Ghost, just because he was the first one to love him unconditionally.

They didn't say it, both too afraid of what the words could cause, like it was a unspoken curse if one ever spoke these words to the other — but they knew.

Every kiss, every touch, every look. All of that just let them know exactly what the other felt. And that was all they needed.

A few months went by, the two of them always with each other, comfortably – and then Christmas leave arrived. They had planned this for a while, Soap already had told his family he wouldn't be at the party weeks ago and Ghost had mentally prepared himself to see Soap in his home.

They arrived at the flat late at night, both exhausted and wanting to sleep – but Soap insisted on seeing the whole flat beforehand. »I want to see the way you decorated! It's super important Si, trust me!« He grinned, Ghost was surprised he still had enough energy for all this. He lazily gave Soap a tour, explaining the simple trinkets lying around whenever Soap asked about them. In his head Ghost was already in bed, snuggled up to Soap. »Where's this from?« Soap pointed at a shell. »A beach I often visited as a kid.« Ghost explained, smiling as he watched the way Soap got excited when seeing the other shells in the simple vitrine. »Tell me the story to all of those Si, please.« Almost childlike happiness beamed in the shorter ones eyes and Ghost couldn't help but look at him with complete adoration. »God, I love you.« He sighed, only realising his words a few seconds later. Panic settled in him, as he felt like he made a grave mistake – only to feel Soap wrap his arms around him and kiss his cheek. »Thought you'd never say it Si…« Ghost snuggled his face into Soaps neck, softly hugging him.

»I love you too Simon.« Soap smiled, holding his boyfriend tighter, he never wanted to let go. This was the most perfect moment Soap had ever experienced, he wanted to scream out in happiness, his only composure being the fact that the rest of the building was asleep.

»We should get to bed…« Simon mumbled against Johnny's neck, making the other giggle in response. »Want me to carry you?« Johnny asked jokingly. He could feel Simon grin against his neck. »Yes, please.« Johnny chuckled and made an attempt at picking up his boyfriend, only to inevitably fail. »Looks like you'll have to walk yerself Simon.« »Shame.«

Just like that, their day came to a much needed end. Like every night, the two cuddled up in bed, resting against each other comfortably.

Like every night, Simon and Johnny made a silent promise to each other to stay together no matter what.

What if I told you that I had the urge to take this happy ending away from them as I wrote this.

It's a bit short, but this is the end of this GhostSoap story so well.. take it or leave it?

DW I'm working on another one, hold yer horses y'all won't have to go without GhostSoap (the way this is being eaten up I swear I'll work on the other story FAST fast.) (Btw it's a Werewolf AU) (With AleRudy because I'm pushing the agenda)

#call of duty #cod mwii #ghost cod #ghostsoap #short story #soap cod #ghost x soap #soap mctavish #soap x ghost #soapghost #john soap mactavish #soap mw2 #simon ghost riley #ghost call of duty

[mimus-mortuis]

WIP WEDNESDAY

Suddenly I was tagged @miras-ash (thanks again by the way) and had to rush to find something in the stash and then translate it into English, so here I am, totally unpunctual. I have to say that I'm not very good at writing long stories, but I had one unfinished thing that I'll probably finish someday.

Our Wonderful World.

"Eliza, can you tell me a story?"

"I warn you, I don't know a lot of stories about princesses".

The girl opened her mouth to say something, then closed it. Her small, round face frowned for a moment. Finally, she stated confidently.

"Stories about princesses are silly".

Eliza nodded in agreeing while and cheering inwardly, trying to hold back a smile. She couldn't stand those foolish "damsel in distress" stories either.

"They're also really boring and predictable".

"I don't know what predictable means".

Eliza smiled with a tenderness she never seemed capable of. But now that feeling was pouring out of her like a burst dam, and nothing could stop the flow as she looked into those big, expressive, green eyes.

"I'll explain it to you tomorrow. But it's not so bad, kid, not knowing something. Even grown-ups don't know everything. Not even mom", - she said with a small grin, turning to Elena, still standing in the doorway, who rolled her eyes in feigned resentment, - So, what story would you like to hear?"

"One I haven't heard yet". For all their not-so-long interaction, Eliza was still able to note that the child never seemed to hesitate before giving a reasonably intelligent answer and that was a pleasant surprise. She was not afraid of adults, even barely familiar people, and was polite and open with them in conversation, with a certain amount of childlike curiosity. Of course, she had her faults, in terms of a great love of sugar and the occasional unbridled energy stemming from successfully extorting sweets. However, Eliza had to admit, with some note of sadness, that Elena had managed to raise her well. She had been a wonderful mom.

"That makes sense", - she said, smiling again and now seriously considering what she should come up with that would entertain a four-year-old child, and realized with disappointment that creativity was not her strongest suit. Then she made a different decision and after a brief pause, leaned back slightly and, folding her arms across her chest, began her story.

"Well… There was a girl who took on too much responsibility, sometimes more than she should, and sometimes worried too much if she failed and if someone suffered because of it. Occasionally she felt powerless or untrustworthy, and at such times she no longer wanted to be herself. The girl had many loyal comrades who were always there for her and whom she was afraid to let down… And although some of them did leave her, it was only because she should have at least sometimes openly told them how much she valued them and didn't want to lose them, - she looked at Elena again, who listening attentively, with a slight sadness and understanding in her eyes, - Some of them, she should have told it every day". Finally Elena looked at her too, their gazes lingering on each other, filled with a kaleidoscope of emotions, like a sail with currents of air. Apparently it lasted long enough for the child to lose all patience, which was already too little in this little body.

"And then what?" Eliza blinked a few times in confusion and Mira hurried to intervene before she could get a word in. She walked over to the girl's bed and sank down beside her, pushing the fluffy camel hair filled blanket higher and gave little Irene a quick kiss on the forehead.

"And then this little girl was going on a journey into the dream world, because that's the only way little girls can grow up one day".

The child smiled enthusiastically, as if imagining this "one day" for herself, and proudly babbled, looking at Eliza for some reason.

"I want to grow up really big to protect mommy. And I'll be strong enough to help her at work". Elena, touched to the core of her soul, couldn't resist and left another kiss on the small, chubby cheek to the child's great delight.

"You will definitely be, honey". This picture of the deep bond between mother and daughter, imbued with something sacred, something unattainable, something true, branded itself blazingly on Eliza's heart. She wanted it to be imprinted on the inside of her eyelids for life, and this indescribable feeling, for which she could think of no name, but which had already blossomed into a tender bud inside her, lodged inside and took root in her lungs, because she no longer seemed to be able to imagine life without it.

#rainbow six siege #r6s #r6s ash #r6s mira #ash x mira #wip wednesday

[esotericfaery]

Intimate Spiritual Diaries, Entry 11: Pluto in Libra (Generation Born Between 1972 - 1984)

TLDR: 7th House Pluto (one on one transformation) conjunct (closest) Black Moon Lilith (feminine generational rage), how Chiron also heals, sextiles & semi-sextiles, the 9th house, romance & compassion for past men, our generation, esoteric Lilith.

I found the one aspect which it is my largest duty to overcome the difficulties of, and it doesn’t directly include my Sun.

I terrify men, and until I started learning Astrology, I had no idea why. I’m a down-to-earth Virgo, who behaves as romantically as I sense a man wants me to be; I also have Venus in Leo in the 5th house of dating, the childlike, recreation, entertainment.

They have terrified me too. For their own reasons, to be sure, yet also because of the mirroring nature of romance; I would pick up from EM field transfer, their wary, uncertain feelings for me, even at the same time as they would experience intense sexual attraction.

Pluto in Libra is about one on one human relating, diplomacy, legal matters, and adjustments within dissonance and harmony. Also inherent in this placement, is that we search for peace because we’re pushed into needing to find balance, create “peace” by putting off making decisions, or we just deny reality altogether. Well aspected Pluto in Libra cooperates. Neptune in Sagittarius (which we also all have) idealism is a tricky one to work along with; we either get lost in the brain fog of the details, or we’re able to good-naturedly win at diplomacy by finding and implementing solutions.

Was a past romantic partner innovative, or was I?

That depends on whose perceiving it.

This isn’t about either person winning.

This is about what’s next.

For my part, I do my best to take the pain of being told I’m too much / too intense / think too much / feel too much. No, I’m no longer disrespecting any of the men who I had once been involved with, by not respecting their feelings; I won’t sarcastically use quotations.

I’m certain they had their reasons for feeling the ways they did, and even for feeling the need to, as I’ve always perceived it, tell me that I am not worthy of their affections unless I cut off pieces of my personality, to fit into their fantasies of what a woman should be, in order to continue being in their lives.

Think about how much they must have been through in their pasts; the trauma required for such cruel behaviour.

I do. I have compassion. Not enough to want to get back together with any of them, yet enough to be easily peaceful if any ever contact me again.

Aside from that conjunction which has been activated multiple times in my 43 years so far, my Pluto semi-sextiles (idealism, security, internal conservation) my Sun (ego, core identity), Juno (betrayed) [part of my stellium in the 6th house along with my Sun], and Uranus (sudden shock and devastation) in the 8th House. Uranus then sextiles (complementary energy or lack of, gentle harmony, outward) my Jupiter [part of the stellium], skewing my luck in strange ways; the innovation inherent in Uranus isn’t obvious until months, and sometimes years later. Speaking of Jupiter, he’s native to the 9th house, where my Neptune (brain fatigue, psychic abilities, confusion, illusion) [one of my chart rulers], is also sextile Pluto and Black Moon Lilith.

Pluto, as King of the transmutational inner processes which took place and became stalled in the first 7 houses, is well met in His native house, the 8th. The 8th house is designed to push, push again, and push even more, until we accept that this Tower Card is falling. He then takes us through the Phoenix rising from the ashes process.

Afterwards, the 9th house is about philosophy and higher learning. What next? Who am I growing into? I instinctively channel my stellium to deeply enjoy the learning and healing process.

Pluto is different from the wounded warrior, Chiron. Chiron (ruler of Virgo in the 6th house of daily routines and service to self), is natively an earlier type of process in the basic journey through the zodiac. He works with us so that we either become overwhelmed & deny, or heal from childhood traumas towards fully moving on. That moving on is the first steps in personal growth, into balancing service with the self, with the service towards others which is inherent at the opposite end of that axis, Pisces (intuition & boundaries), the 12th House (esotericism), and Neptune.

And so as I recognize where and how to explore my progressed charts, I learn and with such little effort, continue to experience the synchronicities inherent within the complex and artful science of Astrology.

Lilith… how misunderstood this energy is. As we know, Lilith is thought of as a demon who went on to kill children, because she went crazy after she wouldn’t submit to Adam.

Nothing in ancient texts to explain why she didn’t want to deal with Adams shit. Why is that, I wonder? I’m sure it has nothing to do with the sexism inherent in Abrahamic religions ;).

My natal Lilith return is this December, just days after the Winter Solstice. That should be interesting. More on that another time.

Many of us shaman types who have journeyed with archetypes have grown to discover that, whether or not Lilith actually went nuts and killed babies, that doesn’t mean that in modern times any of us has a chance of relating with her energy in anything resembling such horrors. That energy is so distant in this Universe now, that through Astrology, we only relate with her as an asteroid, and several points in space.

A lot more has been healed, than we at first might realize.

#astrology #pluto in libra #pluto conjunct lilith #intimate spiritual diaries

[bucci-cookies]

Zeppole and Mango Smoothies

Here is another commission I did! Bruno takes the reader on a date to a cute seaside cafe :)

For info on my commissions see this post.

Enjoy!

The radio played softly in the background, slightly hidden by the clinking and chiming from cutlery on plates. The cafe’s volume had fluctuated all day as people gathered in waves, taking breaks from the warm beach just a stone's throw away. Presently, there was only an old man near the front, rustling today's paper, and a group of teenagers sitting by the long table.

It was a cute little place Il Banchiere Pasticceria, what was once a busy bank near the beach, was now renovated into a quaint cafe. It oozed homely energy, from the soft browns and creams on the walls to the comfy furniture one might find in their living room. Potted plants lined the windowsills, giving rise to various plants with luscious green bodies and vibrant petals. Bruno never struck you as the kind of person to be found here. While he never acted like he was “bigger” than places like this, despite the rumours of a lavish lifestyle, you were still surprised when he posed the quiet cafe as your next date. You both sat in the corner by the large window, on a dark brown loveseat with a low oak table between you and the opposite loveseat. You leaned your head on Bruno’s shoulder as he held the small cream-coloured menu for you both to read.

"Do you know what you want to order?" Bruno asked, his thumb grazing your knee gently. "The zeppole is delicious." He pointed to the fried dough delicacy on the menu. You had never had it before and the range of delicious fillings caught your eye.

You hummed to yourself as you gave the menu a second skim read. You eyed the pastries and savoury meals, trying to decide which route to go down. "Not yet. What are you getting?"

"I love their crab cakes," Bruno replied, tapping the option on his menu. “One of the benefits of having a cafe so close to the water is the easy access to fresh fish.” He turned to look out of the window, watching the sea splash lightly against the sandy shore.

Freshly cooked crab did sound lovely, especially since it received the praise of your fishing enthusiast partner. You turned back to the menu, glossing over the wraps, paninis, cakes and coffees, overwhelmed by the magnitude of choices. You and Bruno had always split the bill on dates, either directly in half or paying for what you ate separately. However, along with the surprising date to a small cafe in the suburbs, he had also offered to cover the bill for both of you. While you were grateful for his generosity, you didn’t want to take advantage of his kind offer, you told yourself you would limit the items you got.

“What if we mix it up? Get things from different sections?” Bruno suggested, pinching your cheeks and pulling you out of your thoughts. “In as much as you look so cute trying to pick, I think I should open up the options and let you try as much as you want, after all, it is my treat and I want you to like it here.” Bruno’s hand returned to your knee as his index finger drew small circles on it.

“Are you sure? I know you said you’re happy to pay but-”

“This place means a lot to me, I would rather treat you here.” He cut you off with a soft smile, plush lips pressed together. Why was he so adorable when he made that face? His head cocked to the side making his bangs fall slightly, and his lively blue eyes had a childlike tint to them. You just couldn’t go against him. “Y/n…” He dragged your name out so sweetly that you felt butterflies in your stomach.

When you sighed and sunk into the seat, he knew he had you wrapped around his finger. He gave a cheerful, victorious grin before kissing your cheek. He got up to order from the counter, the fact that he took longer than a minute to place the order made you concerned.

With a wide grin, he found himself back by your side, eagerly holding your hand in his. “Don’t worry, I didn’t go overboard.” He bumped his shoulder against yours.

Shortly after, a waitress came to the table with four small plates on a large black tray, one with crab cakes, another with what seemed to be zeppole, the third had a slice of pineapple upside-down cake while the fourth had lobster paninis. Steam rose from the hot dishes with an exquisite aroma you had never experienced before. The rumbling of your stomach reminded you that you hadn’t eaten in a while.

“I’m so sorry, I forgot about drinks! Are you thirsty?” Bruno exclaimed, pressing his cheeks with his hands. He had the cutest puppy dog eyes like he had committed a grave sin by not asking if you needed a drink.

“Don’t worry we can get drinks later.” You held his hands and squeezed them gently. “I’m far more hungry than I am thirsty.” You used the side of your fork to cut open one of the crab cakes and bring a piece to your mouth.

He watched your lips as you chewed on the seafood meal. “What do you think?” Bruno asked with eager eyes.

You let out a loud groan of satisfaction. “I have never tasted crabcakes as good as this!”

“I told you they were good.” He gave a proud smirk before having a taste of it himself. Even though he came to this cafe so often, it seemed like the delectability of these meals still surprised him every time.

The music changed to something more soothing, Arrivederci Roma by Dean Martin. As a new wave of customers approached the front doors, Bruno used this as an opportunity to quickly order drinks.

You watched as a flock of kids rushed in with their parents in tow, fidgeting in a line behind Bruno as he placed his order. Despite the noise from the new guests, you could still make out the song, hidden under the layers of noise, and focussed on its calming aura.

It didn’t take long for Bruno to return with two mango smoothies in hand, placing them both on the table. “How has work been?” Bruno asked, sitting back down. His voice was gentle and laced with a hint of concern. “I hope you’ve had some time to rest.”

Your lack of response, along with the way your eyes darted to the side as you rubbed the back of your neck made his expression turn more serious.

“You should try to get at least some sleep. Are you eating properly?”

“I'm trying.” You shrugged your shoulders artlessly.

He exhaled deeply. “I know you are, but I don’t want you to work yourself to the bone.” His hand slipped to your waist as he shifted closer to you and ducked down to your ear. “But I hope you know how proud I am of you.”

“Bruno…” Your cheeks flared up at his praise. While it's expected for people in relationships to have such respect and love for each other, something about Bruno made getting this compliment to feel even greater than he probably intended. Maybe it was the way he whispered in your ear, or how his hand fit perfectly on your waist, but you just felt so peaceful and joyous at this moment.

“What?” Bruno snickered, noticing how bashful your expression was. “You know how proud I am of you, Bella? Having someone so intelligent and hardworking as my partner?” He pulled you into a tight embrace, nearly forcing the air out of your lungs as he kissed your forehead. “I feel like the luckiest person alive.”

You groaned, rolling your eyes at his enthusiasm. “You're so embarrassing, Bruno!” 

You pulled away slowly before sinking into the seat, hands wrapped around Bruno’s arm. “So what about you? How have you been doing?” Bruno’s double life wasn’t unknown to you, and he at least tried to keep you in the loop on things, choosing to spare you from the more grizzly details that you were better off not knowing.

“Come here.” He beamed, tilting your head up for a kiss. Bruno was never the type to take part in public displays of affection, so having him kiss you, surrounded by strangers made your heart race.

“I’ve been okay…as good as I can be.” He shot you a quick smile before kissing your forehead. “I have more time to myself now, which means I can spend more time with you.” The past couple of weeks had been a bit hectic, with Bruno being more secretive than usual. The fact that you lived separately didn’t help with communication.

“Well, I’m very grateful for that.”

The new wave of customers had fully settled down now, taking over the long table and the rest of the seats, the new layer of noise almost completely blocking out the music. You and Bruno tucked into the rest of your meals, sipping happily on your tropical drinks as you talked about anything and everything new that had happened since the last time you properly saw each other. As the crowd began to whittle down, Bruno noticed how most of the beach-goers had started to pack up.

“Bella,” He turned to you, “How about we go for a walk?” He clutched your hand, leading you towards the shore, taking in the fresh air that danced along his skin.

“I love coming down here.” You sighed, watching the footprints you made in the sand. “We’re so lucky to live somewhere near the water.”

Bruno didn’t respond, instead, you found him crouching near a small pile of sand, holding something in his hands. “Here!” He beamed, handing you a seashell.

It was small and white, with pink wisps along its body. “Bruno, this is so cute.” You examined the shell closely, it was slightly chipped, and its colour was fading a little, but it was still so beautiful.

You continued your previous conversations, arm in arm you strolled down the beach. Some children scurried past you, playing with water guns, while their parents shouted from far, telling them to slow down before they hurt themselves. The casino and arcade were still open, and the cheers of winners were heard, along with the spinning of various cash machines.

As much as you were enjoying this pleasant walk down the beach, the heat was beating down on you, you could already feel sweat clinging to your body.

“I think I’ll faint if I stay under this sun anymore.” You laughed, using your hand to shield your eyes from the sun so you could look up at your partner. He paused with a shy expression on his face before responding.

"How would you feel about coming over to mine?" Bruno asked, squeezing your hand slightly. This was not the first time you had gone round to his, so it was quite unusual of him to be so shy.

You giggled before squeezing his hand back. "I would love to."

The ride back to his was quiet, save for the wind blowing gently through the window, cooling down your warm skin. Despite it being well into the evening, the sun still shone as bright as ever. You watched as people cycled down the roads in shorts and tank tops, soaking in the summer heat of Naples, while a line of kids stood by an ice-cream van, waiting impatiently for something to cool them down. Restaurants and shops were open a little later than usual, taking advantage of the masses out enjoying the summer weather, their doors wide open and exuding unique scents and lively music into the streets.

The windows were down, causing a cool breeze to fill the car and soothe your warm skin a little, allowing you to relax into the comfortable seats of Bruno’s car. The drive was short but sweet so you were soon at your next destination.

It was times like this that you were grateful for the air conditioning unit set up in his home; otherwise, the thought of cuddling him on the sofa, like you were now, would be impossible.

You sat across his lap, tucking your head in the crook of his neck as he flicked through the TV channels.

At first, you settled on a cooking show, then a game show, then a sitcom, before eventually giving up after realising that no matter what was on TV you both just ended up conversing and blocking out whatever was on the screen.

"Thank you for coming out with me today," Bruno whispered, tracing circles with his finger on your back. "It means a lot to me that you came." Bruno never told you this, but he had never brought anyone to that cafe before, not friends nor previous girlfriends, this was something he felt he could share with only you.

"Well, I'm glad you invited me." You beamed, snuggling into his torso. Bruno was thankful that you faced away from him, lest you saw the rosiness of his cheeks. "We should go again."

There was a question that had been on your mind throughout the day, nothing serious, but something in your gut told you that it might be very personal to Bruno. “I didn’t know you liked cafes like that, is there any reason you wanted to come here?”

Bruno’s hand stopped caressing your back, you could almost feel his jaw clench.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push anything sensitive!”

“No, Bella…” He exhaled deeply, leaning his head against yours. "My parents used to go there a lot."

"Oh."

Bruno hadn’t told you much about his childhood. All you knew was that his parents separated when he was young, and his father passed away when he was 17. You never pushed him to explain anything more.

"They met there and we would go every weekend.” His hand moved to your thigh, squeezing it gently. “At least you know why I was desperate to make you like it.” He chuckled awkwardly, you could hear the lump in his throat.

Bruno’s mother was still a student, while his father was a trainee fisherman. They came from two different walks of life but were so strongly connected, there were things only the two of them could understand, more than their own families. His mother, Clara, asked out his father, Paolo, knowing fully well that he would be too reserved to confess his crush to her. It became their routine to visit that cafe, no matter how busy, stressed or tired they were. It seemed like all their troubles would melt away the moment they found themselves in each other’s arms.

A heavy silence filled the room as Bruno bit his lip and stared at the television screen.

"I think that’s sweet,” You whispered, trying to lift the mood. “It's such a cute cafe. I love being near the water and the food was amazing.”

He smirked and wrapped his arms around your body. “Did you? I hope I didn’t force you to like it.” In the pit of his stomach, he wished he never said anything about the cafe and his past with it, worried that he was tricking you into liking it.

“Of course, not Bruno. I think we both know that you can’t force me to do anything.” You hugged him back, letting his hands slip down to your hips.

“I guess you’re right.” Your heart warmed at his response, you were glad the tension had weakened slightly.

“Were there other things you did together?”

Bruno hummed to himself, tilting his head to the side as he recalled his childhood memories. "My dad loved golf." He chirped, making you look up from his neck. "I was so awful at it I wondered if he would just abandon me at the range." He face-palmed himself in embarrassment as he remembered how he couldn’t hold the clubs properly, not even considering his weak, poorly coordinated swing.

"I'm sure you weren't that bad!" You laughed, placing a hand on his chest and pushing your body off his so you could face him properly. You knew Bruno’s father was a fisherman, and Bruno grew up learning the tricks of the trade, but you never expected him to have a history of golf.

"No, I was. I was absolutely terrible, but being there with him was so much fun." Bruno adored his father more than anyone else, but for someone who he loved so much, he rarely spoke about him. You didn’t blame him, people deal with loss differently, Bruno fell on the quieter side of the spectrum, keeping those fond memories close to his heart, away from nosy people.

His father spent his Sundays at the range, quietly practising, using the time to clear his mind of any stress obtained during the week. From the moment Bruno was old enough to hold a club, he started begging his father to take him to the range, clutching his shirt and running to hide in the car before he could stop him. Paolo complied and would take Bruno out as often as possible. The only issue was that Bruno, as expected, would get tired and fall asleep quite quickly, waking up back in his bed or sometimes on the car ride home.

When his father’s stitches reopened and got infected, he could barely walk, talk less of going down to the docks to fish or practising at the range. The only thing that Bruno could do was sit by his bed, talk to him, and try to pretend like everything was okay, just enough to get them through this.

Bruno didn’t resent any of his memories, he didn’t feel sad for not staying awake during practices. As he got older and learnt more about how others lived through these situations, he found a certain joy in his heart. He was thankful that he was able to spend so much time with his father, and that even in his last moments, he knew how much Bruno loved him, and vice versa.

You could feel Bruno’s leg bounce lightly. It was like he wanted to open up, but didn’t know how to.

"Did you ever do stuff like that with your mother?" You asked innocently, tucking some of his hair behind his ear as you focused on his eyes.

"Baking, I made my first cake with her, a pineapple upside down cake." He smiled, looking down.

That explains his choice of cake today.

"You have to make it again!" You replied enthusiastically. The cake you had today tasted incredible, you’re a hundred percent sure that making it yourselves would be even better.

Bruno didn’t respond at first, he simply pulled you back into his body with you facing downwards so you couldn’t see his eyes. "Maybe that could be our next date."

"I’d love that." You wish you could have ignored the slight break in his voice, or how his fingers dug into your back as he swallowed uncomfortably. You held the side of his neck, feeling how hot his skin was. "Are you okay Bruno?"

"Yes, I'm fine." His breath was shaky.

"I’m sorry if I’ve made you upset by bringing this up, you don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to, but if you do I’d love to listen.” You pressed soft kisses on his neck, a small gesture of affection.

“Don’t apologise to me, Bella, how could you make me upset?” He scoffed, holding back the tears that threatened to spill out. “I do have one particular memory…my parent’s anniversary, I ended up third-wheeling them at the restaurant because the babysitter cancelled.”

You snickered to yourself as you imagined a little Bruno, wedged between his well-dressed parents in a fancy restaurant. It's as if your light-heartedness made it easier for him to keep talking.

“My mother let me dance with her, I stood on her feet and she let me have the entire song.” A smile crept onto his face as he recalled the memory. His mother wore the most beautiful red dress he had ever seen, while his father wore a casual black suit. Everyone else in the main hall turned to look at the mother and son duo, some gasping at how beautiful his mother looked, while others whispered about how cute Bruno was, jumping around and struggling to move in time with his mother.

The thought of a young Bruno with rosy cheeks and big eyes, tugging his mother’s dress and wrapping his small fist around her fingers as he tried his best to follow the music with her was such a pure image. Your calm, collected, mature partner in such an innocent, playful setting was something you would love to see.

“That sounds adorable, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you dance before.”

“Good! I’m horrible at it.” His blunt response paired with the pout on his face made you chortle.

“Well, now I have to see it.” You brought your phone out of your pocket and opened YouTube. “What song was playing?”

Bruno knew what you were going to do so he opted to seal his lips. When he refused to answer, you just chose whatever came to mind first. That happened to be the song from the cafe, Arrivederci Roma.

You stood up from Bruno’s lap, holding out your hands in front of him.

Bruno grumbled and rolled his head back. “You really want me to dance with you? You’re so persistent,” He sighed and placed his hands in yours. “Well, how can I turn you down when you look so cute, mi tesora?” 

The smile on your face that Bruno loved more than anything made it worth it.

You pressed play and let the music fill the room, allowing it to guide the flow of your bodies. Bruno’s hands found their way to your waist, using it to pull your body closer to his, while your arms hooked around his neck.

His eyes locked on yours in a way that sucked the air out of your lungs and made your heart beat heavier. Your bodies swayed side by side to the music, with Bruno’s thumbs tracing rhythmic circles and tapping beats on your back. He tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear, allowing him to cup the side of your face with his thumb grazing your cheekbone.

You had expected that at this point in your relationship, you would be past the typical “crush symptoms”, but that simple contact made your stomach flip as if you were back at square one in your relationship. You could already feel your face heat up and the last thing you wanted was for him to notice and tease you.

Little did you know that Bruno was in the same predicament, he was currently fretting over whether his palms were sweaty and if you would notice.

There was something so…fulfilling at this moment like you had shed all your worries. Right now, it just felt like only you and Bruno existed.

“You’re so beautiful, mi bella, such mesmerising eyes, like they hypnotise me.”

“How can you say that when you have eyes like that, hm?” You stuck out your tongue teasingly. Bruno had the most gorgeous eyes you had ever seen, from the way his long lashes curved, to the highlights that danced around his pupils. To you, having Bruno compliment your eyes was like having Da Vinci tell you the doodle in your notebook was a work of art.

“You should stay the night today.” His words were sharp and direct, taking you back a little.

“I should?”

“Mhm…” Bruno pushed his forehead against yours. “I’m not letting you out of my reach so early, not when today has been so perfect.” While Bruno could argue that every time he gets to see you feels perfect, the fact that he was able to open up with you is something he’ll cherish forever.

“You know I have to get up early for work tomorrow, right?” You groaned. One of your co-workers was off sick, you offered to take part of their shift the next day, meaning you had to go in earlier than usual.

“I’ll cook you breakfast and help you get ready.” He sang, before ducking down to peck your lips.

“And what about my uniform? My supervisor won’t like it if I don’t come in one.”

He rolled his eyes playfully at how you broke the kiss. “I’ll swing by yours while you shower and get it for you.”

The funny thing is, you knew he wasn’t kidding. Bruno would even take your shift for you if it meant he would get extra time to cuddle you in bed.

“Jeez, and you say I’m persistent.” You teased him with a poke to his chest.

“Why wouldn’t I when it comes to you?” His forehead bumped against the top of your head slightly, making you look up before he captured your lips once more. A hand moved up to hold the side of your neck, keeping your face towards him.

His kisses were more desperate than usual like he didn’t want this moment to end as only you could give him the comfort he desired so badly. His ears somehow tuned out the music in the background, the only things he could hear were his strong heartbeat and the gasps from your lips as he begged for them over and over again.

When he pulled away slowly for air, you didn't miss how pink his nose and cheeks were, though you suspected that your face was as warm and flustered as he was.

His arms wrapped around your shoulders, pushing you into his body while you hugged his slim waist. Your eyes were closed as you both listened to the final verse of the song. Dean Martin’s magnificent voice made you feel like you were floating in the air. Bruno's arms tightened around you, holding you like you were a precious vase that would shatter if he even thought to let go. At this moment, he felt that peace that only came when he was around you.

“The song’s nearly over, Bruno.” You whispered into his chest.

“Then let’s play it again.”

#bruno buccellati x reader #bruno bucciarati x reader #bruno bucciarati #bruno buccellati #bruno bucellati x reader #bruno bucellati #fluff #seaside #date #cafe date

[inthehalfpearl]

thoughts on the journey from addiction:

I never thought i’d experience touching the bottom of the ocean before. I’ve always had problems with my eyes but for the most part i’ve had an intuitive heart and ordered steps.

I remember turning 20. I was excited to take on life as a young woman, pure in the mind & spirit, filled with curiosity.

However, naive to the weight of experience, one night my alarm clock rang… it had been 3 years and I was filthy.

My body in a cycle of despair, my stomach constantly in knots, my senses foggy…

I did not know who or where I was. I didn’t feel the need to ask either.

The goal was always to sedate the reality of questions and feelings due to the fear of facing every true answer.

I drank… I drank some more… and more until i was ultimately drowning. With every part of my spirit occupied, I was bellowing out haze to comfort me. Ashes would be everywhere, my lungs and my cells beginning to shrivel, begging me to send oxygen to my brain for once. But I kept bellowing, I kept sinking… holding the stone over my torso, waiting to reach the bottom.

The continuous suffocation was one of my true addictions…the pain, the tears, the stress.

At times I would bob my head back up just to gain a little energy to drown for longer.

I was always allowing myself to come back to get another fix, and what’s crazy is my dealer never lied to me… at least not about the drugs. He always told me it’s not what i needed.. it’s not what i deserved. Constantly telling me to go and get clean… yet he still continued to prescribe me, & no matter how much he told me to go, I wouldn’t.

I always wondered to myself if he had an addiction too. I could imagine as a dealer, loving the investment, company and consistency of your top fiend just as much as they love your product.

I pondered if his addiction had to do with the constant need to create an illusion of safety for the fiend, in order for them to feel comfortable to return to the harmful stimulants. Maybe he thought as long as it was the fiends choice to return he would carry no weight of responsibility for their demise. “I never told them they should use nor buy these drugs from me” a chant I would hear every so often. An essence of damage control.

My dealer always had this unseen tendency to need to prove to himself and others that he was a good human. It revealed to me that deep down there was a lot of unspoken guilt but no way of knowing how to cure the wounds inside his psyche.

I pray for him still.

Everyone yields their own balance beam of good and evil, many adherently weighing down on one plate versus the other. Back and forth and so on.

I’ve been clean for a few months now, forgiving myself & injecting my own grace and tenderness back into my flesh . I speak to and nurture my shadow daily. We fight, we argue we pray together. She has taught me many a thing, keeping me with an unwavering childlike quest to understand the duality of the human being…

a quest that truly has no ending.

At times I wonder about my own likelihood to fall into another addiction experiencing life for answers…

[a-n-conrad]

hii I'm new to ur blog^^ i love reading them especially MHA

Can i please request a café hopping drabble with shouto? ^^

Thank youuuu<3

[A/N: Thanks so much for the message! I'm glad that you enjoy my writing! This one is pretty short and I'm sorry it took so long, but I really hope you like it!]

It all started when Shouto told you that he had never been to a café before. It really shouldn’t have come as a shock to you. His childhood was rather limited, he was mostly restricted to training. He never really had the chance to get out into the world and explore. Still, as someone who made a habit of frequenting the local cafés whenever you were in need of a calm place to read or a good cup of coffee, it seemed like a tragedy that he had never gotten the chance to experience that. You were sure that he would love it. 

That’s how you came up with this plan. There were plenty of cafés in the area, all with different themes and menus. You had no idea which one Shouto would enjoy the most, and you really wanted him to get the best experience possible. So you decided to try as many of them as you possibly could. 

- - - - -

“Oh, they made a flower in my drink,” Shouto muttered with wonder as he stared at the latte art in his hand. He had this childlike wonder in his eyes since you had started your journey to try as many of the area’s cafés as you could. It was heartwarming to watch as his small smile continued to grow and his usually deadpan voice filled with joy. 

“Oh yeah, this café tends to do a lot of latte art. I heard they have a competition coming up at some point where all of their baristas compete to see who’s the best at it. Maybe we should come back and check it out,” you proposed, a smile finding its way onto your lips as you watched the excitement grow in Shouto’s mismatched eyes. He always looked so adorable when he let himself express his softer emotions. 

“Can we?”

“Yeah, I think so. I’ll have to figure out when it is and if we have the time to stop by,” you responded. You hoped that you’d be able to stop by for the contest. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to get to see Shouto excited again. 

You made a point to take advantage of those opportunities when they showed up, as rare as they sometimes were. Shouto had gotten a lot more expressive as time went on. He was far more open with his emotions than he had been when he first started going to UA. He had grown and healed a lot. But there were still times when he was hard to read, when he didn’t quite know how to put his emotions into something that he could express. So when you got the chance to see that glimmer in his eyes, you knew that you had to grab ahold of it. 

“Thank you.” You heard the whisper out of the blue, a few moments after you had settled into a comfortable quiet. You almost weren’t sure that you had actually heard it. It was such a delicate statement, almost as though the words would fade away if you acknowledged them with too much energy.

“For what?” You asked, keeping your voice just as delicate and soft. You didn’t want to risk ruining whatever this moment was. It felt so vulnerable.

There was a short pause, something that regularly happened when Shouto was trying to think of how to properly say what he was feeling. You took a sip of your drink, letting him take his time with whatever he was thinking his way through. You made it a habit not to pressure him into talking before he was ready. Eventually, it seemed as though he found the words that he was looking for.

“For this. For bringing me here. I know it’s weird to have to teach me all of this stuff, but I appreciate it. Getting to see all of these new things with you is...” Another pause, “nice? No, that’s not right…”

“It’s alright, Shouto. I get what you mean to say,” you couldn’t help the grin on your face as you reached for his hand. “I think today has been pretty nice too. I can't wait to do it again.”

#mha x reader #mha #bnha #bnha x reader #shoto todoroki #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki x reader #todoroki

[livfastdieyoung69]

Bones, Body, Soul.

A Jeff Hardy Story. (Ch.1)

Lemmy didn’t have a very hard time getting along with people backstage. Unless it was one of the lights people that was still mad at them for tripping over a wire and unplugging it right before they went live. Sorry, Jake. Most enjoyed seeing the familiar face of the teenager, who was now training to be a wrestler alongside their father as soon as they turned the legal age.

Vince had found the boys through a small wrestling federation they owned themselves, where Jeff had been lying about his age to wrestle with his older brother and signed them to a trainer with WWF after seeing their potential. Come to fine out, Lemmy had been working under the boys’ company as well and quickly signed them to the same trainer. As soon as both the boys were of age, they would be on the roster, along with Lemmy.

The Hardy's and Lemmy clearly got along, a huge connection between them from all of their time together in OMEGA. All of their training sessions were together all the time, the three seemed to have much more energy and will when they were together. Although Matt and Lemmy were great friends, it was clear that Jeff and Lemmy were attached at the hip and it was obvious as to why.

They had the same taste in music, clothes, humor, and were both a little dumb but made up for it in creativity and passion. They each even had a sweet southern drawl, Lemmy’s much heavier from their years in Texas, but Matt’s seemed to be fading slightly somehow. If you saw one, you saw the other. Lemmy had been taking Jeff and Matt backstage to watch their father and plently of other wrestling matches at shows that were nearby, but Matt had to take up a night shift so it was just Jeff, who only worked during the days thanks to his landscaping skills. As of now, Lemmy was dragging him by his hand as they ran through the hall in search of an empty locker room with a TV to watch the matches. Sometimes they were allowed to go out in the crowd, but the arena was sold out.

"So help me God, Dallas Austin, what'd I tell you about the goddamn running!" The rough voice of Steve Austin echoed through the cold concrete halls of the arena. The pair slowed to a quick walk as Lemmy yelled back an apology.

"Why the hell'd he call you Dallas, Lem?"

"That's my name dumbass! Lemmy's a nickname." Jeff came to a halt as they explained.

"You just didn't think to tell me that? Ever?" He asked with big eyes and a dramatic tone, dyed and frayed hair coming to drape over his shoulders.

"Well, I knew it'd come up sometime. Doesn't matter much anyways." After a shrug from Lemmy, they grabbed his arm again and kept walking. "Did you really think my name was Lemmy?"

"Why would I not, you told me that's what your name was! Hows that even a nickname anyways? It's your middle name or somethin'?"

"Don't have a middle name. Dad thought it messed up my name cause it's two cities in Texas and he wanted it to be Houston but it sounded weird- Dallas Houston Austin. He likes Motorhead and apparently, I'm a hell raiser. Y'know, the song?"

"What's that have to do with anything?"

"Lemmy Kilmister dude! He's the founder, singer, and bassist of the whole thing, he's real cool. C'mon, hurry up, I wanna watch dad take a Sweet Chin Music."

After watching a few matches in the empty locker room that you could somehow still smell the stench of B.O. in, Jeff and Lemmy were off once again. They decided to walk this time so it took a little bit more time to get back to the gorilla.

"Hey, Shawn!" Lemmy yelled from halfway down the hall, gaining lots of unwanted attention along with Shawn's.

"What's goin' on kid, lookin' for Steve?" The man looked over at her, a childlike grin planted on his face as they jogged over to him with Jeff short on their tail.

Again, a lot people enjoyed having Lemmy backstage but one of the first people they were able to befriend was HBK. Vince had taken a liking to the young kid the second they entered the backstage of one of they many WWF arenas and thought it would be funny to get them to do commentary for a few matches. A few matches turned into one after they called Shawn a pussy (their father thought it was hilarious but had to explain to Shawn that Lemmy didn't actually think that, they just really liked the Undertaker.)

"Nah, lookin' for you. Just wanted to say you looked real cool kickin' my dad's ass." The explanation coughed up a laugh from Shawn and a few others. "Would you mind letting him know that me and Jeff are gonna head home, though? I'm gonna sleep over at his so then we can all just head to training together.” Quick to try and deter from what they wanted, Lemmy started bombarding Shawn with questions about the nearest payphone and how they had to tell their uncle that they wouldn’t be home, only to be interrupted.

"Just cause I like you doesn't mean I'll lie for you, Lem."

"Oh, come on! We just wanted an ice cream, it won't take long! I'll buy you one if that's what it takes." While Lemmy tried to bribe him, Jeff groaned.

"You two have training bright and early, and if I tell Steve you're going home, it won't be a lie. I don't care who's house you go to as long as you get there in the next twenty minutes."

Finally giving up on convincing the man, Lemmy backs up and grabs Jeff's hand again and they went on their way. As they continued to walk towards the door in defeat, Lemmy shouted over their shoulder at Shawn, "I take it back! You looked terrible kickin’ my dad's ass!" just in time for Steve Austin to walk back from the locker room after getting ready for a segment.

"The hell're they talkin' about?"

"Who knows, man. Lemm seems to get along with those Hardy Boyz pretty good though, huh?” They both watched as Lemmy and Jeff made their way down the hall, quite literally attached at the hip, with each an arm around the others shoulder and feet swaying as the tried to keep in pace with one another, loud laughter echoing each time one of them stumbles, already over their icecream escapades.

“Yeah. Yeah, ‘specially that Jeff kid, he’s real good to ‘em from what i’ve seen. They’re good kids, glad Lemm’s finally got someone.”

#jeff hardy x oc #jeff hardy #jeff hardy x reader #stone cold steve austin #wwe imagine #bonesbodysoul #LIV writes;*!

[whump-it]

It's been a while! Have some Collection Programme, Doctor Callum, found family fluff and sweetness!

Callum knocked on the door and waited for David answer. And he schooled his face in to his best concerned doctor expression as opposed to the smile that he was currently hiding. Just about. Almost.

The phone call that had brought him here had been funny but not to David. Alyaa in the background sounding exactly like someone who had not long come around from a general anaesthetic should sound. And Callum knew that all of this was normal. All of this had been explained to David and Alyaa, but listening to a loved one sounding so very much not themselves was very often enough for people to forget the preoperative information.

"This can't be normal," David said, as soon as he opened the door, ushering Callum in quickly.

"No kids?" Callum asked, shrugging his jacket off and hanging it on the peg with the homemade sign about it; Uncle Callum. Childlike writing, smudges, fingerprints. Messy with love.

"They're managing to be quiet. I've bribed them with cake. Come on," David strode on through the house, Callum hurrying to catch up behind him. At the door to the bedroom, David knocked before going in. It made Callum smile more, that small act of care.

"Is you..." Alyaa muttered, trailing off at the end. "Oh! And you!"

"And me," Callum stepped close to the bed and took her hand in his. "Cold hands huh?"

"I wanted the blanket," Alyaa told him, looking down at the spotted throw that was tucked around her. "But I want the stripey one!" Her voice broke into a small, sad wail.

"See!?" David said, hushed but hurried. Nervous. "We don't own a stripey blanket!"

"Ok. Don't worry," Callum sat down next to Alyaa, the bed dipping which tipped her a little to the side.

"Woo it's like a fairground ride!" She laughed, tears in her eyes and on her cheeks. "But without a stripey blanket." The sadness in her voice was back.

"I know," Callum said, squeezing her hand. Just for now though I'm going to need you to take a little time to just sit quietly. No talking. Just quiet. OK? Can you do that?"

Alyaa looked up at him, wide eyed with post-anaesthetic confusion and honesty, and nodded.

"Well done," Callum said, then turned to David.

"She's not well!" David said, wringing his hands. "You see? She's not well. And she's so upset!"

"I know how it looks but I promise you that she's OK. All of this? Is just the drugs talking. And you know my promises are good. Yes?"

David looked at Callum for a long moment, then to Alyaa and back again. Slowly he nodded.

"I know," he whispered.

"It's just words," Callum said. "Words that sound like feelings. But I promise you that it's all fake."

"But she is feeling it! Look at her!"

"And," Callum said, quickly, just overlapping at the end of David's talking. Just getting in before David could sink further into a panic. "She was awake when they removed the breathing tube. But she won't remember that either. She won't any of this. It's just words David. Really. Just words."

David sighed. Ran a hand through his hair. Paced a little. Then stopped.

"Just words. You promise."

"I promise," Callum patted Alyaa's hand, kissed her temple, and stood up. "Keep her warm and give her plenty of water. In the meantime I'll take the kids out and run some of their energy off. OK? I'll only go to the park down the way so if you need me I won't be far. She'll be much better even in the time it takes me to tire your little lot out."

"I love you," Alyaa said, looking up at Callum, tears starting again.

"And I love you too," he said, pulling David in to take his spot, passing her hand to his. "I'll see you both in an hour or two. Wouldn't hurt if you both had a little sleep."

Callum left the room, gathering up shoes and coats and snacks and children as he went. Left the house.

Headed to the park. The one without many trees.

"Kids! Keep an eye out as we go past the shops. Let me know if you see a stripey blanket."

@haro-whumps @grizzlie70   @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @bloodybrambles @burtlederp @my-whumpy-little-heart @pepperonyscience @faewhump @crowned-avery @whump-tr0pes @spookyboywhump @finder-of-rings @liliability @whumpfigure @girlwithacoolcat @tears-and-lilies @inpainandsuffering @whumppsychology @nonsensical-whump @ashintheairlikesnow @justabitofwhump

#where do people go when they've had enough of their lives #the collection box #collection box #found family #oc David #oc alyaa #oc alyaa ashiq #oc callum #oc callum morrow #fluff