#this could be longer tbh

[cloudpalettes]

i'm not him ,,,,,

#honkai star rail #hsr #star rail #jing yuan #dan heng #imbibitor lunae #jingheng #LOOK WHO EXPERIENCED DOOMED HYV YAOI #i played the quest i feel like i got hit by a truck tbh #sorry for hyv yaoi it could happen again . #he's not him...... it's no longer him #this fucks me up so bad #thanks hyv for the doomed yaoi i'll never be normal ever again

[blue-ravens]

rah rah rahhh

#this is for mack who just graduated this week! #the absolute pick of the literati <3 #charles emerson winchester iii #winchester wednesday #blue's post #mash #charlie memerson #idk how much longer i can keep doing these tbh #i am le tired #this could be it for a while :))))

[twisting-in-wonderland]

I do like the colours during overblots,,

(wip stuff under read-more)

Nothing too fancyy

#twst #twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts #overblot riddle #art #ram's art #uh tbh i drew this before my recent port /f/est drawing -(hopefully it wont fill that tag if it's written like that--) #but i didn't post it 'cause i felt like the final outcome was kinda lame tbh i couldnt make it look like how i wanted #but it's still kinda good so here it is :] #mainly drew this 'cause my mum liked riddle's overblot design when she looked through the magical archive book then i got it :^] #i had art block - so what a nice practice idea! i thought until this took longer than i wanted-------- rip #i think there's definitely some composition improvements i could do b ut im tired of working on thisssss

[pigdemonart]

Drawings of some Rosarios and a beloved Fatima @bunnyangelart

The bottom pic makes me the happiest! Bunnii and I had mused ideas of the four of them having known each other in school as kids, and the idea stuck enough it became canon. Also any time drawing baby Adrián before he lost is eye is like u_u ….. mm

OH before anyone asks, Mani was asked to be the school mascot. It’s not his fursuit!!!! Realistically if anyone would have a fursuit, it’d be Adrián…….And Fatima (shes a warrior cats kid)

Patreon | Ko-Fi

#my art #los brujos #manuel #victor #Adrián #fatima #dolores #actually i could ramble in the tags for a moment longer #baseball is the American passtime as its called #but it has a big cultural significance in PR #growing up baseball players in my class were kind of idolized #most athletes were tbh and its because a lot of our fav celebrities are athletes that make it big in American leagues #roberto clemente was a Black Puertorriqueño who played in the MLB and became the first latinamerican and caribeño to enter the hall of fame #that pride -even for someone like me who doesnt particularly like sports- is felt very strongly in our community #the number of his jersey was 21 #for Vico to pick 21 shows not only his pride but also an ego about his skillset which i think is pretty integral to his charcter #im sure he rolls his eyes about it now LOL

[picturejasper20]

For all the mess that is Phantom Planet, there is something i really like about it and that is the fate of Vlad Masters when he tries to turn the asteroid intangible.

What i'm refering to is the conversation that Vlad has with Jack before leaving the spaceship, which is pretty well written in contrast to the rest of the episode.

Jack: ¨How could you hold the world hostage like that Vladdie? And after the good fortune you've had in your life.¨

Vlad: ¨Good fortune?! You infect me with ghost DNA then steal the love of my life and you call that good fortune?¨

Jack: ¨I infected you? You mean…¨

Vlad: Yes fool! It was your bumbling that made me what I am today!

There are plenty of aspects that i like about this conversation, but the part that gets me is ¨It was your bumbling that made me what I am today!¨.

Because that's basically who is Vlad at his core. He blames his bad actions on the accident and Jack. He doesn't see himself as a villain. He believes that his justified in his own actions because of his own victimization, in the sense he is never at fault of why others leave him or why things go wrong for him, it always someone else's fault, or Jack's.

Vlad's villain/antagonist arc in the main series is bit by bit loosing everyone that cares about him, either because he pushes them away or they find out what type of person he truly is but he never realizes that he is the reason this happens. He is so absorbed in his own delusion that he can't see what he is doing wrong. In result he ends up more frustrated that he already was, and thus more alone.

When Jack tries to explain to Vlad that he didn't intend to hurt him and what happened was an accident there is a moment that Vlad... stops walking, turns around and listens to what Jack is telling him.

It is interesting because it is almost like there is a part of him that wants to know what Jack has to say, even if moments later he doesn't care about that.

Jack: I never meant to hurt you. What happened was an accident. I'm your friend, Vladdie. I've always been your friend. 

Sadly for Jack, he finds out that ¨his friend¨ has become a very different person from the one he knew back in college.

Vlad: I'll remember that when I steal Maddie from you and make her my queen!

Which leaves Jack rightfully devastated that he has been friends with someone who was lying to him all this time.

Vlad flies to the asteroid and finds out that he can't touch it because it is made out of ectoranium, a sustance that ghosts can't touch and get hurt by it.

Then he realizes how screwed up he is because 1) The Earth is really doomed since he can't make the asteroid intangible and 2) he revealed his own ghost identity to the whole world and he ¨will be forever hunted¨.

Vlad: Ecto-ranium? Then I can never touch it. No ghost can. That means…the Earth is doomed. And even if it wasn't I could never go back. I've revealed…my true self. I'll be forever hunted.

Seeing that he is in real trouble he happens to ask Jack for help, minutes after he revealed what type of person he is to him, leading to one of my favourite exchanges in the series:

Vlad: Jack, you have to help me. You wouldn't turn your back on an old friend, would you?

Jack: An old friend? No. You? Yes.

And just like that Jack punches the fire jets control and leaves Vlad stranded in the middle of space, almost as a final ¨screw you¨ to his ¨best friend¨.

Desperately Vlad calls out for Jack's name only that this time there isn't anyone to answer him back. That is the moment Vlad realizes that he finds himself truly alone now, that he ended up pushing away the person who cared about him the most and that everyone on Earth hates him now. Or as he says it in ¨A Glitch In Time¨ novel: He has nothing to return to.

Then he flies away, not having the courage to get to see the Earth getting destroyed because of the asteroid.

I personally like this a lot because Vlad wasn't defeated in a epic battle, put behind bars or anything of that stuff. He was ¨defeated¨ by pushing away someone when he needed his help the most, in a sort of karmatic way.

Due to his obsession with controlling everyone and forcing people to ¨love¨ him he ended up in the way he hated the most and tried avoiding all this time: Completely alone, with no one that wants him around.

And to me, that's a satisfying way to end his arc in the main series since, again, his arc wasn't about him taking over the world or the Ghost Zone. It was about the way he treated others and how his obsession with power drove everyone away.

What it is more, i think it is one of the scenarios that makes the most sense to me for the development he gets in ¨A Glitch in Time¨ because he has to lose everything or being shown that his actions wouldn't get him what he was trying to achieve.

#danny phantom #vlad plasmius #jack fenton #phantom planet #I wished this scene could have been way longer #Because it is a very cathartic moment #Tbh this scenario could have been applied in any other type of plot #That involves just Vlad...losing the last thing to a real friend he had

[moonshynecybin]

Hi! I have been thinking about Marc and the ways he expresses his anger... giving the cold shoulder... the silent treatment if you will (he will speak ABOUT vale but not TO vale let alone WITH vale)... need your input please....

hmm good question.... this got. STUPID long sorry

uhhh marc is, in general, good at keeping his (negative) emotions in check. like i think marc loooooves to think of himself on track as a mature, controlled, and rational dude. above distraction. a killer. a cyborg. idk his dad has talked about how he doesnt really complain much about injury and there's also allll these stories about what a mature kid he was... so i think that when he was young - ESPECIALLY in a racing sense because he was so much younger than most of the people he was competing against - he internalized that in order to do all the stuff he wants to do racing-wise, he reallyyyy has to keep a level head and not well. act his age! and i think that extends to a lot of how he manages his emotions today (at least in a public setting). even in places where im pretty sure hes PISSED (sepang. phillip island 2013.) he just kind of. visibly contains himself. not a confrontational dude in the outright sense he'll clench his jaw and try to work through it.

which is part of what makes his valentino-oriented crazy so interesting. bc people were noticing that marc in 2015 was kind of. being weird. as his and valentino's relationship deteriorated. like they were both outwardly very much like we can keep it on track :) until the big fallout towards the end of the year but uhhhh. well marc has said that vale started pulling back in september of 2014 like he was noticing SOMETHING, and they clashed on track A LOT in 2015, and i think marc sensed vale cooling on him and freaked a lil. hashtag neurotic 22 year old moments. he is my favorite crazy ex girlfriend. like usually he IS good at separating that stuff out and managing his emotions in the racing sense but in assen that year when vale overtook him off track after they made contact he raised a BIG stink with race direction and actually had some uh. not especially chill quotes about it. (it should be noted marc was also flopping for the first time in his motogp career. like in his brain he stopped winning AND vale stopped talking to him he was goin through it) adn all the reporters noticed too they were like. why werent you sucking and fucking in parc ferme. like vale's left turn wrt to spaniard sabotage comes outta nowhere but people WERE noticing that things were changing. i bet marc noticed too. BUT they are not the type of people to talk about these things so they keep it to vague flirting in presscons and escalating on-track tension slash proxy wars waged in race-direction contexts... liek truly you are 22 you are not going to keep your championship title and your hot sports idol bestie is no longer flirting with you on twitter and you COULD just talk to him about that but you'd rather DIE so youre going to ask honda to back you up to race direction about your last race where you DEFINITELY lost bc winning is the ONLY thing thatll make you feel better. even though thatll help convince your hot sports idol that you are engaging in a benedict arnold level betrayal scheme against him. an insane time to be marc marquez. 2015 really kind of is a study on how both of them handle losing: NOT WELL.

and then the thing about sepang is that then the lid is blown clean off and marc spends the ENTIRE race being annoying on purposeeeee. hes so fucking pissed and hurt at valentino that he decides to get under his skin for REALSIES instead of focusing on his race. like idk he probably would have fought hard for the win without the drama that how he works but uh. i think he was being annoying specifically to bite at vale's edges. and part of that is bc marc is naturally and effortlessly annoying. but i think part of it was SPITE. like his team advised him not to speak on anything from that presscon and he didnt, but he can still fuck him over on track. get under his skin. like he cant tell vale to his FACE that he's angry and confused and hurt. but he CAN let him know on that fucking racing line. where he cant be ignored. idk like i cant see marc letting anyone else get under his skin like that.

AND another big ass exception to the marc marquez anger management philosophy is from misano 2019 where vale messes with his qualifying lap. a lovely anon sent me some videos of marc talking to the press and jesus christ i dont think ive ever seen him angrier oh my god. AND the anon also linked the race from that weekend where he won and he celebrated harder than ive seen him celebrate some TITLE wins like he went. notably nuts. the commentators were all like uhhhh. he mustve REALLY wanted to get one over on vale adjfhlkdh... idk if any of this answered your question but his relationship to his emotions fascinates me hes so weirddddd. and its interesting to me that he can shrug off jorge ruining his last race at honda and be friendly but also be like. kind of aloofly pissed at bezz. because of valentino! he can repress the rest of it, but valentino shines through the cracks.

#its interesting bc theres also this tension with him where he keeps all of this tightly controlled and then he also REALLY wants you to know #about it. like in his docuseries hes like okay i know we have to talk about valentino :/ which is CRAZY bc he is producing that series #and its about his comback from injury. he could have EASILY left it out but he wanted to set the record straight #and also pull the punch/make it seem like hes no longer invested by saying he doesnt wanna talk about it #idk i think he was smart to keep his mouth shut in sepang 2015 but it CLEARLY cost him #like i think his own reservedness confines him sometimes and he chafes. and it bubbles out. like marc dont you just wanna go apeshit. #anyways this isnt even my entire marc and anger thesis like i need to go back to grad school lmao #callie speaks #motogp #asks #marc marquez #rosquez #tbh. i should just write some fic. hmm. #long post

[adeleine-everyday]

Suggestion: adeleine drawn like those tapping guys from Rhythm Heaven Fever

These guys, it's funny to me whenever her height is REALLY exaggerated

day 61

elongated adeleine? oh, you just mean canon adult ado!

but of course why stop there when you can go further?

#IM SORRY (not) #tbh she could still be longer methinks #this is what people that still believe kirby is 8 inches tall look like btw #theres no other explanation #adeleine #adeleine kirby #kirby series #kirby #day 61

[theaxolotlkween]

Silly little comic I made.

#the burnt lettuce part is probably true tbh #van kleiss just seems like the kind of guy who would smell like burnt lettuce #even after he’s no longer literal dirt just figurative dirt #rex actually does regrow limbs he’s like a freaky little mechanical axolotl boy #i wish we’d gotten to see what rex regrowing a limb actually looks like in the show and not just in the comic #it probably would’ve looked really cool and i want to see it #van kleiss probably learned that rex could regrow limbs by nefarious means and rex probably doesn’t remember it #which is probably for the best that man has traumatised him enough #i honestly didn’t mean to have van kleiss deciding to be a dick by giving an answer to noah and not rex #but i didn’t want to just have him stand there in the background because that’s boring #and it somehow fits the pettiness of who he gives information to willingly because it’s not rex and it almost never is #every time i watch the show noah and rex become even more boyfriends to me #also i think noah deserves to get in a dig at vk every once in awhile #like van kleiss did almost have him killed and he had to see van kleiss stabbing rex in the first episode #and van kleiss turned him into an evo once so like #yeah he should get to roast him sometimes #sarcastic unhinged trans noah my beloved #generator rex #generator rex fanart #genrex #genrex fanart #rex salazar #noah nixon #van kleiss #noex #theaxolotlart

[hororona]

nico robin and her smile

hiiii ok has anyone else ever thought about the person robin was before joining the straw hats? like who she was when she was at her worst? because i do. a lot. so go along with me here

from her introduction, robin has this very small smile that feels cunning and is seemingly meant to taunt luffy and co. it creates a sense that there's a canyon's depth of difference in power between her and the others.

robin's is a subtle character in her expressions compared to most other major characters in the series. and i think it fits her background of having to work in subterfuge. (???)

she maintains this expression throughout multiple scenes. the same shape of her smile that is so exact that it has to be with intention. this is the face of ms. all sunday. this is the person robin had to be in order to survive.

and yet each one still has it's differences and that's robin being not so perfect at hiding her true feelings (which btw i love that robin will always be exactly who she is). she's stressed or even strained at times. while also feeling perfectly at ease, but still performing a role.

i think for the most part. robin didn't mind what she had to do or who she had to be. because she's pragmatic, but she was definitely bothered by vivi and the strawhats. they're the ones who cause robin to show anything other than that static smile. notably when she is faced with vivi and luffy's determination.

and i've rambled about it once before robin is a kind woman at heart and who has a soft spot for the crew + vivi. their earnestness breaks through her own desire/need to not care for the effect her actions have on the lives of others.

notably the only times robin does seem to genuinely smile is in small sudden outbursts around luffy when something he does makes her laugh.

and throughout the rest of the alabasta arc. robin's clearly uncomfortable with facing the real destruction of alabasta at crocodile and her hands. later revealing that she never planned on helping him obtain the poseidon weapon. she never once smiles, instead dropping everything to focus on getting to the poneglyph.

after that though? she does her miss all sunday smile one last time when she asks luffy to join his crew. it's a famous panel, we all know it, we all love it.

the longer robin was with the straw hats. the more she began to genuinely smile. it's well established that being on the crew brought back joy and laughter into robin's life, that being with them gave her a reason to live again. but it was a slow start until we got to see this robin more often and more freely who is cheered by everyone's bright youth and excitement in being alive in a ways that she never had been allowed.

#one piece #nico robin #i've been working on this one slowly but surely #please i hope this makes sense and i'm not like alone here #using inconsistent sources because i'm not the biggest fan of viz's translation but sometimes have to read it #i haven't read onigashima yet so i can't talk about it with surety just yet but robin also has the habit of using accessories to denote whe #she isn't being herself. #it's why robin stopped wearing the cowboy hats post w7/enies lobby. despite the fact that the she looked so good in it. #i think in onigashima (and vaugely post-ts when she's in hiding) it was her sunglasses btw #i thought this would be longer tbh and it could be but i got impatient and didn't want to wait til later #the full better version is the version of this is made as a total nico robin character study that tracks from her character intro to now

[arcanacenturia]

GOOD OMENS 2 SPOILERS

Something's so not right in S2 though.

The only time we "see" God is whenever she talks to Job and just blabbers stuff at him because she's bored af and doesn't have anybody to speak with except maybe the Metatron.

When Aziraphale tries to talk directly to God in S1, the Metatron tells him "Speaking to me is speaking to God" and categorically refuses to listen to Aziraphale's request.

That's weird. That's so weird.

We have no proof that he's actually relaying all this information to God. She hasn't appeared to anyone in centuries. He's also aware of Aziraphale's will to stop the arma-fucking-geddon.

He's aware of Azi's relation to Crowley.

As I've seen stated somewhere on Tumblr earlier, he's aware that just by trying to perform a teeny tiny miracle together they performed a huge ass one that triggered alarms in Heaven and succeeded in separating the two, because he's aware, and could be scared, of their combined powers.

Okay but why would he need to separate them?

A second too late, he told Aziraphale about The Second Coming, which is most likely linked to a new Armageddon again.

Related to that, we never heard God herself about the destruction of earth. Anything said about it is told by other characters. Note to myself: list up who talked about it.

The Metatron seems to be hiding something. Unlike the other (arch-)angels he's not naïve, he wears a black coat, he doesn't sugarcoat his speech to humans (and my synesthesia says he speaks Spiky, and not a good spiky).

I think it's also noteworthy that Crowley & Aziraphale don't communicate, not with words, Crowley never told Aziraphale about what Gabriel told him but he also never told Aziraphale what he found out about Gabriel in S2. He never told Aziraphale that his bosses were planning to restart Armageddon until Gabriel went Nah, that it's the reason the Metatron demoted him. He demoted the current Prince of Heaven for stopping it, then promoted Aziraphale, who is a lot more tame and also has been a cause of Armagenope to fail, to lead it.

I don't think Crowley fell because he asked questions to God. I think he sauntered vaguely downwards because he asked too many questions to the Metatron, that would put his plan in danger.

This bitch is SHADY AS FUCK and I'm honestly so eager, so curious to see what he (and season 3) is going to bring us. I wonder if he's lived among the humans, too. Besides, I feel like he's going to try (and maybe manage) and use Azi as his marionnette for whatever stuff he's preparing.

And I feel whatever he's preparing is really against God.

Thank you Neil Gaiman for this ending because even if it HURTS it's so interesting. There are so many things that could be going on behind the heartbreak. I could be going on about how Crowley probably even found out part of what happened. I've seen people speculate with good arguments that Crowley lost part of his memory after falling, and if it is the case that could be another thing done to prevent Crowley from stopping the Metatron.

There is SO MUCH that could be, so much that WILL be, and so little that we can know.

No matter in what form, I'm so excited to see how this will develop in the future.

#long post #Maybe I read too much into this but also that's how my brain works #I think we've been focusing a lot on the last apparition of the Metatron in the series and not enough in older ones #Especially the apparition in S1 #This got way longer than I expected #I'm so scared to post this tbh I don't know how it will be received #I could be wrong!!!!!!!!!! #I'm just excited #Also I got the greenlight to post it #Good Omens #Good Omens 2 #Good Omens 3 #Good Omens season 2 #GOS2 #GO2 #go2 spoilers #good omens s2 spoilers #aziraphale #go 2 speculation #good omens 2 spoilers #gos2 spoilers #good omens spoilers #gomens #gomens 2 #Metatron #God #Heaven #Speculations #go3 #go3 speculation

[jomeimei421]

GYAAHHH people are reblogging ANCIENT art of mine

#mei talks #😭💀✌️ we don’t speak of Roosterteeth here any longer but #I genuinely do miss being in the RvB community! the people there were so so kind to me #I was something like 13 or 14 and still finding my legs art wise! I grew up in the community surrounded by people who #really poured their hearts and souls into their stuff and were sooo so kind to me #the art and writing communities were super tight and I actually am still in touch with many of them #including the man the myth the legend jason weight o7 you could have saved RvB if they kept you on for s18 king #like I still remember the day saltsanford sent me like. a 4 ask long text wall screaming about my lyric comic while I was in line at ax #nearly fainted #ahh my lyric comic….I still have it up on ur channel. before my dad passed away he would always show me when it hit a new milestone in view #old art is always kind of embarsssing and tbh I think my interpretations of the characters made me well known much more than my art skill #but after high school my life kind of. fell apart in a lot of ways. dad dying was def a part of that 💀 and I think I found orv exactly at #the time I needed it. but looking back at my old RvB stuff is kind of like #a little time capsule ig. I was happier then but I’ve grown up a lot too

[layla-carstairs]

I hate reading the eah fandom wiki tbh. some takes/interprets on there are awful & something blatantly untrue like 😭 anyway I was looking at raven's main page & came across this little gem

"the only one" what??? I love Raven but since when was she the only one undertaking actions that directly oppose her destiny.

Hunter is vegetarian & spent his entire summer before legacy year sabotaging his dad's traps (and is, you know, dating Ashlynn). Darling is... well, Darling and is breaking every damsel in distress rule in the book. There's Ashlynn, who doesn't really care for her happily ever after and is dating Hunter against her destiny. And those are people who are conscious of the fact they're going against destiny, and are choosing to be themselves anyway. On the other hand, you have someone like Faybelle who loves cheerhexing, something that doesn't exactly scream Dark Fairy but she still actively wants her destiny.

What makes Raven different isn't that she does things that contradict her destiny but that she doubts the system itself. For someone like Hunter or Darling, fully abandoning their destiny isn't really an viable option since it doesn't occur to them Grimm isn't telling the truth. For Raven, is does.

She's in a unique position where she's one of the very few to know the Evil Queen isn't dead, which is what Grimm says happened to the general public, but rather trapped in the mirror prison. She knows Grimm has lied and isn't always truthful, the possibility that he's done so more than once isn't impossible. This doubt (and general dislike of her destiny) leads her to something more powerful; hope. Raven is again one of the few people who know about Bella Sister's unsigned page. Even though Grimm does everything in his power to squash her hope, it survives in a gnat, an inconsistency and what Giles tells her (through translated riddlish)

She's operating on more information that her classmates are and because of that is aware of that other possibility. She doesn't have any real proof or certainty about what will happen, but it's enough for her. She's willing to take that leap of faith, for that chance to be herself without compromise. That's why she doesn't sign.

#ever after high #eah #raven queen #hunter huntsman #darling charming #ashlynn ella #why am I writing eah analysis when I should be sleeping?? that's a good question #I have so many thoughts this just kind of spilled out of me #there's more I could say about this #like raven's tendency to not speak her mind or agrue because it's easy and her general avoidance of confrontation or conflict #but this post is already longer than I meant for it to be #raven ily #you're just like me fr #early eah especially makes me insane tbh #later on they kind of lost sight of the plot but that's a whole different post lmao

[faehrnem]

Over the years, Faehrnem's gotten self-conscious about his appearance and how scarred he's become due to his occupation. Poor guy feels like his body is falling apart, he deserves a smidge of comfort and reassurance 🥺

#my art #gw2 #trahearne #trammander #commander faehrnem #this is like. my favorite trahearne i've drawn yet tbh #this one could be one of the MANY au trahearnes i have rotating ariund in my brain #but with the recent ideas of fractals with different realities i have rotating around in my brain #this trahearne would prob be from a fractal where he lives but faehrnem dies. and to make my brain happy they get to come back together 🥹 #and faehrnem thinks he must look so run down from how he used to be. jokes on him tho it only makes trahearne think he's even hotter #ykno what i'm gonna put this in the tags. i'm no longer at weenie hut jrs

[imidori-ya]

Been thinking about Nico Robin again (when am I not tbh) and I don’t think Oda is using her to her full fucked up body horror potential. This woman can spawn any body part from anywhere. Show me bone swords! Have her line her arms in teeth like a goddamn leiomano! I want to see her trap people in literal rib cages! I’m begging you, Oda. Robin is a body horror queen she deserves better. Junji Ito would know what to do with her.

#one peice #eiichiro oda #nico robin #robin one piece #op headcanons #body horror #devil fruits are so weird plz just let her go sicko mode #I think she could break a man by covering his body in so many eyes he can no longer see his own skin. #I want to see her use her intestines as a lasso #I think she could probably make a second Robin too tbh #why the hell not if she can do gigantesco mano! #also just imagine you’re a marine fighting some woman and suddenly you feel a second row of teeth growing in your own mouth??? #she could spawn her heart in other people’s chests #the possibilities are endless

[flythesail]

#what am i supposed to do when i dont get new cassian content every week #how do i go on #i cant go back to nothing #but i guess the wait for s1 was even longer if you go back to 2016 #and tbh im willing to wait for top notch quality #im going to ignore that it could be more than 2 years too fjskks #because filming until august then a year of post production.. idk that could be late 24 already #andor #cassian andor #flythepost

[americorys]

Chenford + when did you fall for me?

"When did you fall for me?" He asks the question softly, knowing she'll hear it over the crackling of the fire and the intensity of her thoughts. It's quiet, almost like he doesn't want to ask, but he knows she'll hear his tone and know it's genuine.

She knows him in that way.

He hopes that for the most part, he knows her in that way, too.

Tim watches as Lucy chews on her lower lip in thought, his teeth pressing lightly into the skin of his own lip.

Something about the combination of the cool air, the wine she'd poured in his glass, and the way she's been smiling at him tonight have him buzzing beneath the surface – enough that he'd wanted to ask her this, enough that he wanted to hear the answer. They've been skirting around the reality of it: when did you realize we were oh-so-much-more, he assumes because she thinks it will derail them entirely, but more likely because...well, he's never actually asked.

It's been hard to wrap his mind around the idea that they're in this incredibly serious relationship when he doesn't remember any of it – and harder still to try and convince himself they shouldn't be. He knows what Lucy thinks: she thinks he doesn't understand, could never feel the way she feels, hasn't let himself drift into that mindset.

What he really feels is a hell of a lot more complicated, though. He gets it entirely, if not more because she's been actively loving him through this. He doesn't remember their relationship at all, and she's doing the work for both of them.

How could he not be hopelessly in love with her?

That's where it gets complicated, though – because he loves her for her, but he loves her for him, too. He needs to untangle that before he can let himself anywhere near her, truly – because she deserves a selfless love. She deserves someone who puts in the effort for her, who doesn't just love her because she loves them harder.

She lets out a soft laugh and pulls him back, raising her brow. "It's a bad answer," she offers, and Tim tips his head to the side, narrowing his eyes at her. "What? It is."

"Lay it on me," he shrugs, taking a slow sip of his wine. "I'm sure it's not that bad."

"It's a non-answer," she takes a sip from her glass, holding his gaze as she pulls it away from her mouth. "It wasn't one moment. I fell for you in a million little moments – hearing you call me Lucy after you handed me my final evaluation, offering me a ratty old pair of sweatpants when I stayed at your place after Jackson died," she offers him a sad, solemn smile. "Letting me talk my way into being your aide, inviting me to tear down your childhood home with your sister – god, even," she presses her hand to her face for a moment and he leans in closer, just wanting to be near her. "Even you calling me fucking goat whisperer in front of a date had me swooning. You don't even realize you're doing it, too – which is even more annoying. You just exist as this...wonderfully irritating version of yourself that I can't help but be ass over feet in love with."

Tim swallows, keeping his eyes focused on her. "If you had to pick one," he breathes, grinning as she rolls her eyes at him, visibly annoyed. "What? You said I was irritating, didn't you?"

Lucy bites on the rim of her wine glass, taking a sip and then setting it down. "Just one moment?" He nods, pressing his lips together. She sighs, tapping her fingers against her chin and then dropping them, humming over at him. "I think I really knew the first time you hugged me. That's cheesy and it's not really true, but I...we'd never," she pushes her hair off her face with a one-handed sweep and he wants to slide his hand over her cheek, bring her close, feel her breath on his skin. "We'd never touched like that before, and I didn't want you to let go. You...I stayed at your place," she has that expression she gets when she feels like she needs to fill in the gaps for him, and he nods slowly, hoping she'll breathe and calm down. "You invited me over after Jackson died, said I shouldn't be alone. You hugged me and I," she lets out a soft, hiccuping laugh, "I don't know, I didn't want you to stop. I didn't know what I was feeling then, but I know it now. You were keeping me still. You were grounding me," she shrugs. "Turns out, that's what we do for each other."

He lets out a slow, steady breath. "You knew you loved me, then?"

She hums in thought. "No," she laughs. "When I think about it now, I loved you something fierce, then. In the moment? I'd never been more confused about what I was feeling in my life. You were warm, and steady, and I could follow your heartbeat. You confused the absolute shit out me, but...somehow, a little less than everything else did," she smiles over at him softly. "So, everything you do now...just, unnamed."

Tim takes a sip from his glass, reaching over and grabbing her hand. He laces their fingers and squeezes them gently. "So what you're telling me is that we're on the same page," he murmurs, after setting his wine down. "Confused, but intrigued. Enamored, for some reason."

She raises her brows at him. "You're enamored with me, huh?"

He lets out a low, rough laugh. "I've been enamored with you for a long time I remember that much."

He's pretty sure Lucy's smile is enough to keep him asking her questions all night long.

#*fic #*5sentence #chenford #chenford fanfiction #c: tim bradford #c: lucy chen #tv: the rookie #ship: tim x lucy #amnesiatim #so what you need to know about this if you have not heard abt the amnesia tim that lives in my brain is: #tim has lost his memory from essentially s4 onward #chenford together as per canon but they have been together longer in this #they are ~trying to figure things out~ while lucy remembers their whole romantic relationship and tim remembers none of it #convoluted for a ficlet but whatever here u go #tbh you could also just take this as standard chenford and ignore the amnesia bits