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#this is probably so unrealistic i dont know how this works
hearties-circus · 3 months
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Actually ok I've been thinking about what axel and denys' reunion does to axels mental state and the fact that yknoe faye is in the hospital too
#gamer txt.#al ocs#like. i think faye has always been the one to feel guilty about things to occasionally have tgat 'g-d we kill ppl for money..'#having that awareness of how other people feel#its why faye continues to be scared of their old gang and ehy he goes pacifist after esther dies#fayes probably the one who agreed to ratting out their gangmates#faye ran home and broke down the first time she killed someone#fayes yhe one who feels guikty even if its just a littke bit#so when faye is well enough to get out of bed and visit axel in the hospital and asks how things are going#and axel responds with a brief but guilt ridden 'i think i was suppossed to die' faye gets it#they dont know what exactly axel is referring to but he doesnt need to#faye just goes over and bumps the morphine up before settling in next to the bed on one of the chairs#axel i think told denys alot about faye#never brought up a name or descriptiom but always was talking about zir 'best friend' kinda hard not to when theyd spent 20 years together#ze never brought up denys to faye though#so when faye and denys meet in the hospital there probably is a 'so youre the best friend i heard so much about' moment#and when faye has no idea who denys is theres very much 'are you ashamed of me axel? i thought you two told eachother everything'#i think denys really tries to upset axel by telling faye everything and going on about secrets#and it works completely axel is miserable about it part of zir really thinks like 'what if faye hates me now'#its completely unfounded and unrealistic but yknow altered state of mind#and its kinda funny but it doesnt impact faye like. at all. why would it?#so axel killed some guys parents and accidentally ended uo working with that guy. so what? fayes prolly done the sane at some point#oh but ze never told you about it. ok? so what? axel felt bad. faye didnt tell axel about her sisters til a few years after they met#oh but axel was never going to tell you. ok? they're allowed to have secrets. sure its preferable if they didn't but. its allowed#and its weird. denys has no idea where to go from here like. any other person would be upset sbout this what are you doing#and even axel is on board like why arent you upset about this?#and i think ots interesting#you can tell axels an only child from how scared ze is about it#fayes just like who hasnt kept a secret from a loved one before?#and its weird seeing axel feel so guilty over something for a change and faye wonders how much this mustve been eating zir up inside
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saturnxgojo · 3 months
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trios dont work. // satosugu x reader (business AU)
test to see how people like this idea
✦ Pairing: satoru gojo x suguru geto x afab!reader (she/her)
✦ Summary: trios dont work, and nine years later consequences hit
✦ Warnings: alcoholism, mention of death (mamagumi), passing out due to alcohol consumption, abandonment, clubs dunno what else lmk
✦ A/n: this so far isnt done yet, ive been writing a mucchhhh longer version since october, but i wanna see if you guys like this idea so lmk in the comments if yall want more so i can post the whole thing
✦ Wordcount: 2905
✦ ATTENTION!!! do not copy. translate, remake my work, i do not give you permission to so dont do it. also GIF not mine, credits to the creator.
full post!!!
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nine years. It had been nine years. 
The first year felt unrealistic. It was strange. going from being side by side with each other almost 24/7 to no contact at all. [Name] didn’t know what she did wrong, just that one day Satoru and Suguru decided they didn’t want her in their life anymore.
She remembered everything of their last day together, every once in a while it would suddenly pop back up into her head, but in that first year, it replayed again and again; every day.
“Suguru!” [Name] had called out to one of the two teenage boys as she caught up to them “hi!” 
Suguru flung his arm around the girl's shoulders, pulling her into his side as she greeted Satoru. 
“Where have you been, doll? We were looking for you.” 
[Name] laughed as she grabbed their hands and pulled them along. “Shoko and I accidentally forgot to sleep, so when I did fall asleep around ten I was doomed to wake up late.” 
The two boys looked at each other and smiled, the little ball of sunshine walking in front still pulling them along. 
“So four hours of sleep and already this energetic? you still gotta teach me that trick.” Satoru commented as he looked at her, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. She replied with a ‘real magicians don’t explain their best tricks’ 
After they walked for a while, they finally reached the top of a mountain, looking down on the city below. 
The beginning of summer break celebration was going on, kids from their private school and from public schools in the city came together to celebrate. Many people crowded the streets, there was music, and they could see everything perfectly. 
“look who knows the best spots once again”
They had spent the entire afternoon on the top of that mountain since classes were canceled due to the celebration, their fellow students were down there, having fun.
But as they were probably dancing and partying; Satoru took on the challenge to chase [Name] around the hill, she yelped and ran behind the other boy, clutching to the back of his shirt for protection as she heard the two boys negotiate. 
“Don’t you dare Suguru,” she warned, wrapping her arms around his waist from behind. He placed one of his hands on hers and suddenly pulled her to the front. “Not you too please! ah!” she yelped, but the next moment she was giggling, she could never stand a chance against their tickle war. Ever since they found out she was very ticklish a few years ago it had become a thing for them to annoy her with. Whenever it was if she were sad, annoyed, angry, or if they felt like it, the boys would look at each other and [Name] would run instantly if she saw. (Which she most of the time didn’t and fell into their grasp giggling.)
Later at night they went back to the school, they had watched the sun set, then the fireworks, and then [name] and Satoru listened and looked in awe as Suguru pointed out constellations in the night sky. It was perfect.
At some point her eyes fell and she slept. The black haired boy looked down at her sleeping on Satoru's shoulder before giving a sad smile. 
“She will never forgive us.”
“But at least we'll protect her.” 
The next morning when [name] woke up in the room she shared with Shoko there was a little note on her nightstand.
‘you’re gonna be okay’ in Satoru’s messy and rushed handwriting. She got dressed and ran out of her room, looking for her best friends. what did Satoru mean with that she was gonna be okay?
She looked all over the grounds, the dining hall, library, common rooms, classrooms, the fields and gardens. Eventually she decided to also check their dorm. Girls and boys weren’t originally allowed in each other's dorm rooms, but since everyone was packing their stuff for summer the teachers didn’t care. So she followed the familiar path towards the boys their shared room. The posters were gone from their door, but they probably took those down first she thought. [name] knocked on the door, no reaction. She opened the door to find it completely empty except for the furniture that belonged to the school. 
Graduation was next week, why were they moved out already? For the last few years they always did that together. Where were they? As she turned around and bumped into Nanami, he looked just as confused as he took in the empty room. 
He looked at her, his mouth opening but no sound coming out. She knew what he was gonna ask, “They’re putting their stuff into the car or?”
She showed him the note in her hand and Nanami just got more question marks behind his eyes.
For a week she wondered where they were, she held hope they’d come knocking on her temporary apartment building her parents owned as she waited in the city for graduation. However; no knock came, no call, no letter or note, nothing. Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru disappeared from the radar.
When graduation rolled around word went round that Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru would not be attending. They had waited for this moment for she didn’t know how long. Plans were made to go out with their other friends after, they had plans for the future! But now, instead of her two best friends cheering on her louder than anyone else as she held her valedictorian speech, her other friends cheered double as hard. They knew she’d been struggling this week. Shoko had crashed at her temporary apartment since she didn’t want to deal with her parents. Nanami also came by daily, and if they hadn’t been there, no one would’ve known what would’ve happened to [name].
The second year was still unbearable. [Name] worked a lot, saving money, attending college, going out with her friends on the weekends. She often found herself looking to her sides, expecting to see one of her two former best friends walking there. She always looked for them in crowds, she looked everywhere, but they were nowhere to be found. 
In the third year [name] finally figured out her future. She was in her third year but decided to drop out. She saved a lot of money, and she was relatively well off so she bought a building in the busy city and within six months the place opened to a magnificent night club and partially a cafe two times a week. It took a lot of promotion, and a lot of patience until the place blew up. 
In just the first year that it opened, she gained so much she paid off the entire loan of the building. It hit off with people her age, and at just nineteen [name] was going to become one of the youngest millionaires of her time, she just didn’t know it yet.
Her friends loved the place too, and they were immensely proud of [name] after what she had gone through a few years prior. She proved to the world that the only person she truly needed was herself and that she could do whatever she wanted to.
The second year after opening the fourth without Gojo and Geto [name] opened a second location of her club across the world in Los Angeles. 
And now nine years later, and six locations in Tokyo, Los Angeles, Amsterdam, NYC, Paris and London [Name] had in fact become the fastest growing self made millionaire at her age. She lived in Beverly Hills, had her own place designed and built and she was living the life. 
Now; in her bathroom it was still a calm Saturday night but she knew that in an hour she would be in her own club, observing the people as she sipped on her drink. Saturdays were the busiest; first day of the weekend but that also meant a lot of money. 
“Scarlett?” [name] called out to her assistant who walked towards the entrance of the bathroom. “Take two weeks off, alright? Paid vacation of course, take your wife anywhere you want, put it on my bill. It’s summer and you haven’t been on a break since last year. It’s not up for debate.” She was fixing the last strands of her hair before turning towards the woman in her doorframe who looked a bit ill at her words. “Now, how do I look?” she gave Scarlett a smile. 
“As beautiful as always. And… Are you sure you’ll be fine? I mean… Two weeks is a lot.” Scarlett loved her job, not because it paid well, or because her boss was very generous. She loved her job because her boss felt more like a close friend rather than a boss. 
“You’re right, make it three weeks. You deserve it, you and your wife both. I’ll be fine, I know how to start a washer and dryer, I know how to do the dishes. What else would I need? Now, have fun on your vacation, you better send me pics, and have fun! I gotta get going now though cause I'm already late.”
Scarlett still looked a bit sick as she bid farewell to her boss, but at least she could finally take a break, which she was too shy to admit she actually needed.
[Name] walked through the front door of the club, she didn’t pick favorites is what she told others, but the location here in LA and the one in Paris were definitely her favorites of the six she owned. The music was beaming, lights flashing and the scent of alcohol and sweat hung in the air. Security guards nodded at her in a silent greeting as she made her way to her office, one of them trailing her for her own protection. Tonight was going to be a good night, she thought as she poured herself a drink, quickly drowning it before taking a glance at the paperwork that had been assembled on her desk during the last few days. She’d take it home when she left tonight. The security guard opened the door again and waited for her to lock it, after she gave him the signal he didn’t have to trail her tonight.
She walked past the VIP area, making some small conversations with people she’d seen before. There were new faces too, there always were. All different types of ‘em too. It was a safe space as well as a club. She stopped at Toji’s table, how he and her met was a long story. Everyone at [Name] her boarding school knew of the Zen’in family and their generations at the school, same as the Gojo family, as well as her own. She’d seen him here at the club one day a few years ago, standing at the bar and damn he looked familiar she had thought. It soon clicked in her head and she walked up to him. 
“Zen’in?” she had called as she stood behind him.
“Fushiguro now actually, took my wife's last name.” he said as he turned around, looking at the young woman in front of him. “Wait,” he had studied her face, until his eyes landed on the obvious giveaway of her family “[last name]?”. She nodded and smiled in response to his guess. “Never thought I’d see one of you all the way out here.” 
“Well, someone has to be the millionaire of the family.” Toji’s eyes widened as he asked for more details, giving an impressed grin when he found out she was the owner. 
“You got it good, girl. I wouldn’t have suspected you to be the type.” 
“Hello again, it’s been a while.” She sat down on the couch next to him, observing the people as they danced to the music. There were some empty glasses in front of him but Toji seemed rather sober.
“[Last name], you look good tonight.” he gave her a grin, it had been a few years since his wife died, the first few years were a mess for him, he was in here every night drinking away his grief. But over the years he had come to accept her passing and actually started taking care of his son again. Now he came every weekend, mostly just Saturdays since that's when his son was at his friends’ or godfathers house. “Thank you,” she smiled at him, smoothing out the satin dress on her body. “How’s Megs?” She hadn’t seen either of them ‘cause they’d been residing in Japan for a while. Toji smiled at the mention of his son. It took him too long to realize that the little boy was his light in life, his wife lived on in him and oh he was amazing. 
“He’s fine, great actually. He graduated from Jujutsu High a few weeks ago…” as Toji said that an old but familliar scent hit [name] her nostrils and she immediately turned her head around but didn’t find what she smelled. “It was amazing to see him receive his diploma. To be really honest, a few years ago I thought I’d never be back at that place again after I graduated years and years ago myself.” 
“He’s so grown up already, I can remember when you told me he just started.” [Name] turned her head back towards her friend with a smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes. “And to be fair, I don’t think I’ll ever return to Jujutsu High again, no matter the reason.” there was a reason- there were simply too many memories there that she had tried her hardest to forget. Those memories being the ones she just smelled.
The mixed scent of sweet floral yet strong cologne and a really overwhelming smell of pine and vanilla still hung faintly in the air.
It can’t be, she thought. Her mind was just playing tricks on her because Toji had her remember things she didn’t want to. There’s no way. 
Yet when she bid farewell to Toji and walked towards the bar she smelled it again. The bartenders didn’t look up when she walked behind the bar and poured herself a drink, yet she overheard their conversations. 
“That man's eyes… wow! I’ve never seen anyone with eyes that bright!”
It’s not him. They’re not here.
“But the other one! His shoulders… my god.”
[Name] walked away before she’d drive herself insane over this. There was no way they were here. If they were, she would’ve spotted them already. Even though a decade can change a lot about a person; Gojo’s bright blue eyes and bright hair and Geto’s long dark hair and muscled figure always stood out, especially when together.
She wasn’t even sure if they’d regcronise her. She cut her hair, the final stages of puberty hit her later so she got some more curves and flesh, her style had changed and so had her personality. Though deep down she knew that if she’d ever see those two boys again, she’d turn back into her old bubbly self if it took too long. She always had a soft spot for them, no matter what happened or how much she denied it, they would always be a part of her past. Toji had also once told her she walked around like she owned the place, to which she replied that she did. He’d given her credit for the remark and she’d told him to put things on her tab that night.
With a racing heart she went back to observing the crowds. Walking alongside tables, along the dancefloor, everywhere. 
Theres no way these two fucks still wear the same cologne after years.
She sipped her drink, it burned in her throat, but it wasn't unpleasant. She walked towards the staircase for staff and security. All the way up it overlooked the layout of the building and she could spot things easier. 
I’m going to drive myself insane by looking for people that aren’t-
Her train of thoughts stopped when she saw a mob of bright white hair, she stared at it for ten seconds before looking at the person's face and she felt her head get light, looking besides him she saw a familiar black haired man.
Fuck.
She turned around, not being able to look anymore. The top of the stairs wasn't lit, so the chance they would’ve seen her was slim, very slim. [Name] sunk to the ground and drowned her drink in one go, this time the burn lasted longer and she closed her eyes. A few years ago she had promised herself that if she’d ever find them in her club- her property, she’d get them kicked out. Yet now that she found them, that seemed impossible. She couldn’t just walk up to them and tell them to get out of here. 
Why not?
Why not? There was no reason as to why not. As she said, it was her property, she could do whatever she wanted and before she realized it herself she was already making her way to the table they were sitting at. 
The music seemed to dim, the world became clearer yet also blurrier as she stood in front of them. 
“Get the fuck out of my place.” she said, there was anger and aggression in her voice as she looked at them. “Now.”
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lmk what you think of this in the comments so i can post the whole thing!!!! OH AND LMK IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED IN THE FULL THING ONCE I POST IT :3
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zeldasnotes · 1 year
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ASTRO NOTES 27 🀧
Check out my masterlists for more observations masterlist II & masterlist III 🐉
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🀧 Asteroid Bless(92891) conjunct Saturn can show that your blessings will come later in life.
🀧 Couples with 10th house placements in the composite chart wants to look like the perfect couple. Unfortunately the 10th house is the snitch of the zodiac and will let everyone see your dirty laundry, especially if Pluto is here.
🀧 When two people have the same Mars sign mixed with a lot of oppositions in synastry it can make them rivals. You want the same thing and you are alike but the energy is still tense. Throw in aspects to Nessus or Chiron and you have two people who might start to even despise eachother for life.
🀧 Mars in Scorpios are not dangerous for what they do during the fight they are dangerous because of what they do after the fight and how long they can wait before they do it. They prefer to get revenge in sneaky ways. I noticed they are not so cocky when infront of the person.
🀧 Sagittarius Mars can mean having a name that works all over the world. A common name like ”David”. Can also mean your name doesnt match your ethnicity. Like having a spanish namn even tho your family are not spanish.
🀧 Juno(3) conjunct Uranus can be very rebellious and might break traditions and start new traditions with their partner. I know a serbian girl with this aspect and she married an albanian man. Their parents didnt like it at all but their parents were forced to meet and get along.
🀧 If you have Boda(1487)conjunct Jupiter you might have your wedding in another country than the one you live in. If its in pisces you get married on a beach or near water.
🀧 People with Pluto in the 6th house can have strong opinions on people who dont work hard. My friend with this constantly talk shit about people who are unemployed. I think deep down shes jealous because she had to start working very early in life because her parents were poor and her parents never bought her stuff. She hates when people get stuff for free. She also have Mars 2nd house so talking money can make her really angry.
🀧 People with Saturn in the 4th house might come from a home where feelings are not shown/talked about. There can be this coldness and distance between them and their parents.
🀧 People with Ceres(1) conjunct Mars usually loves to workout. Might have an exercise addiction.
🀧 Lilith in the 1st house can give someone a unrealistic body, like super skinny with huge breasts or huge butt. Especially if Cancer placements are involved.
🀧 There is nothing more annoying than when someone you are not attracted to got planets in your 1st or 8th house, bc they be hell bent on getting your attention. And they will get it by starting a fight with you if they cant get it in a positive way.
🀧 Strong(22622) conjunct personal planets is someone who might have had to endure a lot and had no choice but to be strong.
🀧 People with Ranke(20012) conjunct Sun cares a lot about social rank and status. They need to be seen as someone important. They easily notice others social rank. Like they see a person they never seen before and without ever knowing who it is they can instantly see if this is someone whos not to be messed with bc of status/rank.
🀧 People with Venus sextile or trine Asc know they are attractive even if they have some flaws they dislike. They usually dont feel a strong need to ”prove it”. People with Venus Square Ascendant are the opposite they feel a strong need to prove to others that they are attractive even when they dont believe it themselves and this can lead to a lot of mean comments to make sure you know what they got that you dont. They need you to know that their body is better than yours while someone with venus trine/sextile asc dont need to tell you that, they are good just knowing it in silence.
🀧 You probably admire the traits of the sign of your North Node.
🀧 With Mars conjunct South Node in synastry there might be tension from a past life. Check asteroid Karma(3811) to see what might have happened between the two of you. One of you might feel a sense of anger towards the other for no reason.
🀧 Some of the placements considered annoying/rude are also the people we need. For example Mars/Mercury and Asc/Pluto people can seem annoying when they argue with the teacher for the 1000th time this class. But who do you think will stand up for the bullied kid? Yeah them. You might avoid them but you will call them when you need back up. Cancer and Scorpio Moon might be intense and emotional but who will stand by you when the whole world is against you? Yeah them. Virgos might criticize but who will make you soup when you are sick and point out the flaws on your exes new girlfriend? Yeah Virgos will.
🀧 People with Taurus IC got a lot of fragrance sticks and scented candles.
© 2023 Zeldas Notes
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lifeonmarz-blog · 6 months
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Moon through the zodiac
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Aries: Your blunt and it often comes across as insensitive. Yet at the same time people may think your too sensitive. Growing up your household was very busy and or very gossipy. People may question your intentions alot with this placement even if your not doing anything some may still assume your up to no good. Its almost like damn all that assuming you might as well actually do something. The way you express yourself is always being judged and people are always trying to ''correct'' it. Causing you to be anti social, very particular on who you share your personality with or a bully. The way you express yourself is very unique just like your sense of humor you be accidentally funny as hell and thats needed in this world dont give away your power to people and allow them to change you into a dolice version of yourself. Light fire under they ass the way you how to. Anyways I wouldnt be surprised if you daydream about your ideal life alot, careful not to be in your head too much and create unrealistic expectations for yourself or others to uphold. I want yall to stop being so hard on yourself. If nobody else tell yall ima tell you i love how passionately you express yourself. The purpose of your moon being here is for you to learn more about yourself and who you are and how your actions/reactions affect others. Step away from whats familiar and comfortable and dig deep. Listen to your intuition. Have some fucking fun.
Taurus: Its your way or the highway HUH? Your moon chose to be here becasue you are the defender. There will be times were you feel your back is against the wall and you face alot of scrutiny from the world. They may come down on you hard but if you can withstand the pressure you will be rewarded. Willpower and self discipline comes easier for you. You have the tendency to be arrogant, domineering and passive aggressive. A good leader keeps those emotions in check. Yall get stuck in yall ways fr i want yall to put more energy into leaving your comfort zone and taking risk. Slow down smell the roses and enjoy where you are. Dont be all work and no play.
Gemini: Yall love some drama. Somehow always ending up in the middle of some shit. Seeing others as competition even when them ppl not worried about you. You like being the center of attention and dont care if its in a postive or negative light. It works for yall though because popularity comes easy for you. This is one of the most social placements for the moon to be. Your reputation means alot to you and networking is high on your priority list. Its common for yall to feel like you always have to choose between something. It may be hard for you to balance your work life and home life. In friendships and relationships you choose to keep the blindfold on ignoring whats really in front of you, procrastinating to handle your problems just hoping theyll go away on there on. You end up in situations where people are betraying you. With the two sides to gemini its like a secret element to your life. Your no stranger to scandal. I feel for you, this isnt a easy place to have the moon be. You care so much about your relationships with people but yet often have issues with ppl. This couldve stemmed from feeling like you were a target growing up that people always chose to pick with you. Or that you were punished more extremely than others. With this placement you've probably seen or experienced things that really made you question humanity. Dont let those experiences shape the type of person you'll be. You gotta learn to let shit go and not be bitter or have a victim mentality. Be careful not to burn yourself out. Drowning yourself in work to ignore your feelings. You dont always have to do everything on your own... collaborating is just as rewarding i promise. It would be beneficial to learn how to except help, knowing when to back down and not being so critical of yourself.
Cancer: If they dont appreciate everything you do FCK EM. No but fr with moon here you may feel like people overlook the things you do for them. Cancer moons can be way to stubborn and stand in there on way because of the fear of change. Repeating the same lessons way more than they should have to. When your redirect your energy to new experiences and growth your determination and passion unmatched. This is type of person you want to have on your team they bring so much positive energy and comfort.
Leo: Main character syndrome AF lol Unnecessarily rebellious at times growing up you may have felt your parents were controlling on how you expressed your creativity or because of the way you grew up you express your creativity in a rebellious way in relation to your family. Your career could be taboo. I could see a lot of onlyfans stars having moon in leo. Success in career comes more natural for you because of your consistency and ambitious nature. Yall really find pleasure in chasing money. Dont get so carried away with fulfilling your material desires that you dont leave time for introspection and searching for who you really are away from the titles.
Virgo: How does it feel to be kids favorite? A happy home life is important for this placement. Theres an innate need to belong. You love parties, holidays and kids ofc. Hosting parties and having a full house will give you happiness. Where this placement gets stuck is not being able to let go of the past. Getting sucked into the loophole of self pity and regret. Focus your attention on what you can do and what you can change. You work better with other ppl there to bounce ideas off of. Let your gaurd down, Succuss is reached quicker for you when you collaborate. Having this placement is testing your ability to strengthen your willpower and resourcefulness. Once you can do that you'll manifest way easier. Careful not to live beyond your means. Dont let desires put you in debt. Trust your intution, take the first step and take the risk. You go be perfectly fine.
Libra: Your love language is def quality time and acts of service this is very important for this placement to feel loved. Yall thrive in group settings and really value friendships. Even if you dont talk that much it makes you feel better to be around others. If you want to get with a Libra moon the best way is to become their friend first. You may have a tendency to put yourself in drama and create chaos among your inner circle though lil messy ass. Always wanting to be right, when this placement is in its lower natures is a good example of the native american folklore of the hunter that stuck a blood coated blade in ice knowing the wolf couldnt resist. It licked the blade continuously not realizing it was slowing bleeding out. The only way for the wolf to survive is to acknowledge its self destructive behavior. Bottom line just because you can ignore something doesnt mean others are going to do the same. Just becasue it didnt effect you doesnt mean it didnt effect them. Make the effort to listen to understand not listen to respond. Your words matter use them responsibly and take breaks from people or things when you feel you need to, your mental health will thank you.
Scorpio: Transformation happens with this placement alot. Moments of feeling isolated or depressed may be brought on by extreme emotional shifts. Anxiety and fear is no stranger to the scorpio moon. It can be to the point of really debilitating you. You've experienced things you've kept to yourself or have repressed but the issue continues to reappear time after time like a broken record. If it hasnt been dealt with it way on you really heavy and appear in your dreams often. You've felt shame, not understanding how you couldve allowed yourself to be in that predicament in the first place but seriously bro shit happens. It can be hard to maintain emotional balance with moon in scorpio, so its essential to have methods to release your emotions in healthy ways. Careful not to become bitter or victimizing with things dont go the way your controlling ass intends. Vengeance doesnt work well for you it often backfires, you'll try to set somebody house on fire and you burn yourself in the process. You may feel that people often oppose for no reason that you have to go through power struggles to be heard or to get the things you want. You may second guess opening up and are critical of yourself and others but opening yourself up to the world will be one of the best things you can do for your relationships and career. Your maturity and originality is threatening. Express yourself in your full nature and make people adapt to you not the other way around. You have authoritarian energy and if your putting yourself out there which ik you are, yr often mistaken for the boss. That is if your not already the boss. Im sure your that your the boss. Mwahahaha. Your demeanor comes across as serious and strict. Ppl naturally think let me not play with them. Your standards are high for yourself and your partner. You wouldnt be with somebody who doesnt match up to your standard. You need to feel like the person you’re with is equally as respected as you in any room you walk in.
Sagittarius: Im sure you believe you were meant to be famous. Sagittarius moons are very charismatic and great negotiators with a very convincing personality they are great at creating solutions quickly. So ofc that makes its very easy for them to make friends. In relationships they attract and are attracted to more dominate personalities. Loving the idea of love but really being in denial about that. Def gives player vibes they have flirtatious ass whore ways lmao. If you cheating ik you not even finna try hard to hide it. Easily bored they will chase thrills lowkey in a running from your problems type of way. Where sag moons can grow is appreciating the value they bring and not feeling the need to always compare themselves to others. Don't attach your self worth to financial security. Be more secure in what you believe and don't back down so easily when others challenge your ideas.
Capricorn: The moon doesn't like being here. Its emotionally depressing actually lol. I'm sure you've already read enough depressing interpretations on cap moons tho so this one is not going to be that. This one is meant to empower you. Youve experienced alot of chaos anger and pain. You've experienced very intense situations that have completely emotional up rooted you. But the smoke always clears and its important for to spend time away from the people and places that have caused this. Take the steps needed to regroup to be by yourself to develop better understanding of your emotions and learn what it is that truly want from your life. If you are not following your intuition it is easy for you to end up in friendships and relationships that do not mean you well. Your not the type of person who can just hang with anyone you need to very intentional about who you allow into your life. Communicate your feelings stop keeping everything bottled in. That shit will drive yo ass crazy. You dont have to be the strong friend all the time your emotions are valid, open up to ppl and share that shit because you dont share often you open up and talk people listen. Use that power to help others that have been through similar experiences to you. When you succeed in whatever obstacles you overcome ppl cant do anything but respect it bc your road was slow and steady but you stayed with it. When it comes to relationships you are very black and white you'll commit yourself fast but if you feel you cant trust the person you may still deal with them but emotional you shut them out. You like being partnered up rather its a relationship or situtationship you deal with the person for a long time.
Aquarius: I want to give you a hug, you are too analytical for your own good. Baby you need to stop thinking so much and you need to feel, you need to experience, act on impulse, dont give yourself time to think about everything that could go wrong. You sabotage so much of your own happiness that way. But i understand people have disappointed you so many times you feel you must do everything on your own. Its like nobody understands you or that people are committed to misunderstanding you. But news flash your not that expressive with your feelings how is anybody going to know if you dont tell them. Yall are cute though with yall dry ass humor. Listen stop being such a fly on the wall you hold as much value as anyone else stop acting like your presence is a fuckn burden. You dont have be agreeable all the the time they will be O FUCKN K. You are very intelligent and more people need to know that. Believing in yourself and communicating is your lesson. Shine your light and stop playing like fr...
Pisces: Ok we’re gonna get the sad shit out the way first. Just how yall like. I really feel like yr parents just let yall cry it out as a baby and you took that personal lmao. No but fr i feel like you always came across like you can handle things so you weren’t really checked on everyone just assumes you'll be ok. You come across as very strong and resilient which is beautiful but everybody needs a shoulder to lean on. Okay now remember how i said yall took that personally ummhm you can be very vengeful never forgetting he littlest slight somebody done towards you. Yall resort to committing crimes rather easily if you need some money lmao im not mad at it though. Literally rationalizing damn near anything if that means youll get what you want. And another thing yall be lying fr. lol sometimes it really do be on accident though you just forgot what really happened and your imagination is very vivid you thought that was the truth. You can be too hard on yourself sometimes you see very clearly the person you want to be so you put so many time limits and expectations on yourself. Chill out enjoy the journey and flow through life the way you know how to. You have very high standards so anything you invest your energy too is executed properly. I honestly cant even imagine a Pisces moon not running their own business. Im sure you cant either. You naturally have very authoritarian energy. Theres not much push and pull when it comes to you getting your way people go with your flow pretty easily. Naturally you wouldnt assume a pisces to be practical but they actually are. Sure they dream big but if they didnt know how to practically implement that into this realm that would just be depressing as hell. When yall find something that works for you, you are very disciplined at seeing it through. Very protective over those you love yall def give stand up when i walk in the room vibes lol
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tyunkus · 1 year
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amazon wishlist — kang taehyun
pairing: roommate!kang taehyun x afab!reader summary: your roommate and best friend, taehyun, finds a dildo on your amazon wishlist.
wc: 5.5k
warnings: masturbation, dry humping, dirty talk (praise, some degradation), pet names (princess, angel, baby, pretty), like One spank, teasing/humiliation?, penetrative, safe sex, mention of cunnilingus and handjob, also unrealistic because taehyun games here but. let me live my gamer bf dreams ok?
note: originally wrote this in 3rd person and then had to manually change it to 2nd person so sorry for any mistakes ! also still figuring how this site works so sorry for the plain formatting. i dont actually know if amazon sells dildos, and if they cost $30? probably not but yk... artistic liberty... capitalism...
There’s no chicken.
You notice this one Friday afternoon in the middle of July, while the pavements outside sizzle from the heat and the sun spills through the windows and warms up your back. You’re in the kitchen, sifting through a pathetic heap of frozen food. Usually, you head to the nearby supermarket after pilates class to pick up a pack of bacon; other times, Taehyun comes home after a day with Kai bearing a bag of frozen wedges. Either way, it’s clear that neither of you have bought anything edible since your last grocery run two weeks ago.
Frozen french fries. Korean corndogs. A half-empty pack of fishcakes. No chicken.
You open the fridge, eyes skimming over its meager contents, as if it would be there. It isn’t. You open the freezer again, wondering if the gods above would be so gracious as to summon some chicken breast into your freezer to feed you and your roommate tonight. They don’t.
“Maybe we should go grocery shopping.”
You’re fresh from a long, elaborate shower. Your hair falls in wet tresses over your shoulders and you’re clad in dolphin shorts and a big shirt that might have been Taehyun’s but you borrowed so often and for so long that he probably forgot it ever belonged to him. It’s your turn to cook dinner and you’re grumbling over the fact that Taehyun cooked your only remaining pack of chicken breast last night when you hear his bedroom door click open.
Just in time. A shitty rap song follows the sound of the soft padding of his footsteps against the floor. “Hey, you home?” he calls from halfway down the hallway, but you cut him off before he can say anything else.
“I told you I would cook chicken and you still finished it last night, and now there’s nothing for me to cook, asshole,” you say, more exasperated than angry. You turn around just as he walks in, wearing nothing but black joggers and his obnoxious RGB headset. His eyes are wide and bashful. You wrinkle your nose and turn around again. “What happened to your shirt?”
Taehyun has the decency to sound sheepish. “Sorry, I was playing with the boys,” he mumbles, like that wasn’t painfully obvious already. You have no problem with seeing Taehyun or shirtless guys by themselves, but a shirtless Taehyun has you torn between wanting to throw up and throwing away your clothes. Maybe to other people having a first-class view of his washboard abs sounds like a blessing, but to you, it’s only a level below mental distress.
“Tell Kai I said hi,” you say absently, now going through your drawers for restaurant flyers (if worse comes to worst, you’ll order takeout for tonight). “Anyway, what’d you come outside for?”
“I needed to talk to you about something.”
At this, you peer over your shoulder, studying Taehyun’s face. He doesn’t look particularly upset, just stoic, which is a dangerous sign in itself. Taehyun’s usually calm, but he’s not stoic—at least, not in this stage of your friendship, when Taehyun has known you long enough to stop pretending that he’s some sort of tsundere.
“Is something wrong?” you ask softly, turning around to lean against the counter.
“I saw your wishlist on Amazon. Why do you have a dildo on there?”
The words fall on you like a bucket of hardened cement. You feel your heart rate increase by about a thousand beats.
“I—you what?” you sputter in disbelief. There are a few seconds in-between this moment of horror where you want to scold him, yell at him, do anything, but it’s not like he’s in the wrong. It’s your Amazon wishlist. But why was he snooping around on it? And why did you put a dildo on it? Fuck. Your mind searches for an intelligent response, but all that falls out of your mouth is, “Other people can see that?”
Taehyun raises his eyebrows. “Yes? I hope you didn’t share it with your parents or anything, ‘cause it’s like, the first one on the list.”
You grip the counter, suddenly feeling very ill. “Oh. Shit.” You had not done anything of the sort—you kept your parents away from your online presence for that very reason. But if anyone was to stumble upon your questionable wishlist on Amazon dot com, you weren’t expecting Taehyun of all people. Your best friend? And roommate? Really? Fuck Jeff Bezos, for real.
“But that’s besides the point,” Taehyun says, advancing towards you, and you back up a little. Between his tall, wide-shouldered frame and you being a good bit smaller, you discover that it is very, very easy to feel intimidated, almost trapped, by him. “Why do you need to buy one? You know I got a dick, right?”
It’s like another punch to the stomach, except someone also crushed your head with a boulder. If you weren’t red before, you definitely are now, sweat pooling at your palms at his implication. “What the fuck are you talking about.”
Taehyun shrugs and reaches behind you to grab a glass from the dish holder. “I’m just saying,” he says, making his way over to the sink. “Why waste thirty dollars on some plastic when you can get the real thing for free? And better?”
Are you even hearing him right? “Genuinely what are you on,” you say, still aghast. “I wanted to buy one because—because—I mean, I-I don’t know, it’s normal! Shit, Taehyun, does it really matter? Don’t tell me you’re being serious.”
He shrugs again. “Why not?”
You say the first thing that pops into your mind. “What if it sucks?”
Taehyun only laughs. “You really have that little faith in me?”
“I don’t know!” You think briefly on the sex talks you two have had—some you had sprawled over each other on the couch, glasses of soju in hand; others you had during movie nights, clay masks smeared over your faces while you struggled not to laugh too hard. They were fun, sure, but it’s one thing to hear Taehyun talk about fucking other people and another to hear him talk about fucking you. To your knowledge, Taehyun’s pretty good in bed, but… But why are you even considering it? You both have been best friends for years. If you have sex, it’s only going to ruin your friendship. There are other ways for you to feel good—ways that don’t risk a seven-year friendship and getting kicked out of the apartment.
“I don’t know,” you say again, suddenly terrified at yourself for not giving him a straight answer. It should be a hard, flat no! You shouldn’t be considering it all! Yet here you are, your brain suddenly full of the thought of Taehyun and his dick.
“Hey, I’m just saying. Trying to open up some options for you here. I’m one hundred percent willing, but only if you are.” Taehyun puts up his hands like that settles it. He flashes you a smile. “Just tell me, okay? And if you still don’t want to, that’s chill too. We’ll both act like this never happened.”
Is that even possible? “Right,” you say, feeling faint. “Okay, yeah.”
Taehyun’s smile doesn’t fade. You can only watch as he takes a swig of water and shuffles happily to his room.
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You think about it. Probably a bit too much.
You have an essay to write for your class, and it’s due in a few hours—but you can’t stop thinking about it. It being Taehyun fucking you. In your defense, you’ve been pent up all week, trying to balance your academics and health and social life and Taehyun all without having any time for yourself, so it makes sense, you think. You hope it makes sense that you’re fantasizing about your roommate, considering everything that’s happening to you.
You shut your laptop and sigh, lying back down on your bed. Taehyun has been acting completely normal in the three days between now and when he had first made his offer, which you are endlessly grateful for, but also bewildered by. He had even paid for takeout that same night, and you had eaten it together on the floor of your living room, and it was like nothing had even happened. Still, you’ve been mulling it over ever since. Pondering it, if you will. And it’s not your first time. Many nights you have found your tired, worn-out brain wandering to your roommate, his pretty face, great body, cute personality… How it would feel. What he would do. Taehyun, leaning over you, kissing you, running his pretty hands up and down your skin. Nipping at your collarbone with his sharp, perfect teeth. Grazing them along your neck, sucking at the soft parts.
Fuck. You’re wet.
You feel crazy.
Your hands slide down your panties, face burning with shame. The only thing you can think of is Taehyun, his soft skin and pretty brown eyes, his lean arms and chest. You picture him above you, caging you between his arms, a glittering smile on his face as he touches you, his back muscles flexing. Do you like that? he whispers, his voice low and raspy. You don’t even have to work hard to imagine what he sounds like during sex—the walls here are awfully thin, he’s a twenty-one-year-old guy, and you’ve thought about it more often than not.
“Fuck,” you keen, your hips rolling up as you dip your finger into your folds. Your free hand trails up your torso and into your mouth; you roll your tongue around your fingers and wish, crazily, that you were sucking on Taehyun’s instead. “Shit, oh f—”
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“About your offer.”
You’re sitting at the dining table. Taehyun is halfway through his serving of pancakes that you made for him in a partly-tired, mostly-horny daze. After a particularly busy morning, you can’t remember much of last night other than the fact that you fucked yourself sore and came three times in a row, no refractory period, and now you can barely hold your fork.
Taehyun looks up at you. He’s shirtless again. If you were any crazier you would be disappointed that he never left much room for imagination before your first time together. “My offer,” he echoes.
“From a few days ago,” you clarify, poking your fork through your slice of toast. “The. You-fucking-me thing.”
“Ah.” Taehyun leans back and you can tell he’s fighting down a smile. “Yeah, what about it?”
“Well. I’ve been kinda… you know, lately,” you begin, staring hard at your plate, “and I was gonna buy the… you know, but then I realized my shipping address is still at my parents’ house and I really don’t want to wait for another week or pay extra to get it the next day or pay thirty dollars for a plastic dick so—”
“So you want me to fuck you?”
You let out a breath and brave a glance at him. “Yeah,” you mumble.
“That’s all you had to say,” Taehyun says with a smile. He pushes his plate away and fixes you with a look. “When do you want to do it? Kinda weird to be planning this out, no?”
You groan and bury your face in your hands. “This is exactly why I didn’t want to do it,” you groan.
Taehyun laughs, reaching over to touch your arm. “Don’t worry about it. What about later tonight? After you’re finished with your homework, I can help you unwind,” he suggests, and he sounds like he’s just telling you about the weather—but his voice has dropped about three octaves and normally you would find this shit cringe, but. Holy fuck.
You aren’t one for slutshaming, but perhaps you are one yourself. You squeeze your thighs together and nod, your gaze falling to the table. “Sure. That sounds good.”
“Good. You can come to my room once you’ve finished. I won’t be playing tonight, so don’t worry about interrupting. Well, you might be interrupting something, but—”
“Okay, okay, I get it. Nooo need to elaborate,” you spit, standing up and picking up your plate. Taehyun laughs as you walk over to the sink and put away your dish. When you return back to the dining table, he continues eating like nothing happened. “I’ll go study now.”
“Study well, pretty.”
You make a vague sound of affirmation before slipping inside your room again. You back up against the door and take a second to breathe, then shuffle over to your closet.
Your panties are wet. Again.
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“Come in.”
You step inside his room. It’s dark—his lights aren’t on, save for the RGB strips on his setup. He sits on his chair, legs spread, lap looking awfully inviting. For once, he’s wearing a hoodie, and he looks like he just got off a game.
“I expected to catch you at a more… compromising time,” you say, carefully.
“Funny way to say you wanted to see me jerking off.”
“I didn’t say that,” you say with a frown, and you stop walking in front of his chair. Taehyun pats his lap. He’s smiling so, so wide.
“Take a seat.”
You’re grateful when his hands reach up to cup your waist, guiding you as you slide a leg over him and sit down. It’s weird—oddly comfortable, but your tits are pressed up against his chest and your faces are really, really close. Like, close enough you can see each of his eyelashes. He’s so, so pretty.
Taehyun looks you in the eye. “Can I kiss you?” he asks, voice soft. When you nod, he hums and squeezes your waist. “Alright. Tell me about your day.”
“Huh?”
“Foreplay, baby. That’s like, the whole essence of a hookup.” Taehyun raises his eyebrows at you. “Would you just play along?”
“Fine, fine. I didn’t do mu—oh,” you gasp, as Taehyun’s lips latch onto your neck, pulling you into him. “Ah, fuck. I didn’t do much. I—I woke up early and did some assignments. Got a ninety percent on my mock exams.”
“Woah,” Taehyun says, pulling away. His eyes are bright. “Really?”
“Yeah. All of them.”
“Damn. Good job. Sometimes I forget you’re smart and hot,” he murmurs in between kisses. “Perfect girl.”
Holy shit. “Um—and then I went to the gym and this guy asked me for my number,” you continue. Taehyun licks at your throat and bites down hard. “Ow, fuck you. I said no thanks and then went back home and showered.”
“Did you do anything in the shower?”
You scoff as he licks along your jaw. “No. I’m not a perv like you.”
“Not a good idea to make fun of the guy who’s about to fuck you.”
“Sorry. Can’t help it.”
“And then what?”
“And then I had breakfast with you and after, I… I fucked myself a little.” Taehyun groans and your breath hitches in your throat. “I thought of you.”
He chuckles. “I would have been a little confused if you hadn’t. You must have been so pent up, baby, huh?”
You grab a fistful of his hair and pulls him away from your neck so your eyes meet. “I’ve been thinking of you. For a long time. Even before you made the offer,” you say, barely breathing. Your grip loosens, and you watch as his eyes grow dark. “Anytime I got h-horny, I—I imagined you. And I… was going to buy the toy ’cause I never thought I’d get the real thing with you.”
Taehyun seems taken aback, but his face of faint surprise melts into his usual cocky smile and he presses his lips against yours.
“I’m sorry to disappoint, but the real thing is a little bigger than five inches, baby.”
If you weren’t wet before, you’re drenched now. You feel a little bad for his grey sweatpants, the front all smeared with your precum. But knowing Taehyun, he’d probably like that.
You continue kissing for a while, Taehyun’s gaming chair creaking incessantly underneath your weight, but you’re too turned on to be bothered. He’s still playing with your panties, rubbing you over them. You honestly, truly might die.
“Taehyun,” you say, pulling away. He looks like a mess, lipgloss smeared all over his mouth, hair messy from your constant running your hands through them. “Can you touch me?”
“I am touching you, baby.”
You whine. “No, no, like—like inside me, please, fuck.”
“Use your pretty voice to ask me nicely.”
You take a deep breath but it’s let out as a whimper. “Please, Taehyun. Fuck me with your fingers,” you mumble, burying your face in his neck. “Please, please. Please.”
“Good job, princess. Of course. Anything you want.”
And you—you almost die, and it shows with the way you squeezes your thighs together and nuzzle your face deeper into his shoulder, letting out a soft moan when he finally moves to comply.
Taehyun seems to notice, because something in his eyes shifts and he leans in, kissing your cheek. “Do you like it when I praise you, baby? Come on, tell me everything. Tell me what turns you on. Want to make you feel good.”
“I like praise, yeah,” you say, your voice trembling as he moves his hands down to the hem of your panties. “Praise and… And some degradation, too, but mostly praise. I like pet names and—fuck—biting and spanking and k-kissing, fuck, even just kissing turns me on so much.”
“I can tell, baby.” Taehyun glides a finger over your cunt and smiles. “You’re fucking soaked. So cuuute.” He coos it, like you’re some sort of cute doll and not his fucking roommate whose pussy he’s playing with.
It makes you whimper, your fingers shaking where they should be holding onto Taehyun’s shoulders. “Ugh, fuck,” you squeak. “Fuck you.”
“Let me do it first. Grind down on me, pretty.”
You comply and gasp a little at the hardness underneath you. “Fuck. You’re so—”
Taehyun hums, his hands moving to your waist, helping you rock harder against him. “Just for you. I’ve been hard all day just thinking about you.”
You make a pathetic sound at the back of your throat and kiss him, your mind suddenly flooded with images of him touching himself right here in his chair, the slick sound of his hand wrapped around his cock, all while he thinks of you. Without warning, he reaches up his free hand and lightly taps at your cheek; you don’t even have to think about it before your mouth falls open and his fingers slide in.
“Perfect,” Taehyun breathes, and your heart skips in your chest. “You’re so good, fuck. Didn’t even have to ask, what a good girl.”
You grind down harder. Taehyun throws his head back and lets out something between a sigh and a groan. “Fuck, princess,” he rasps. “You’re so cute.” He reaches up with his other hand to caress your flushed face. “You feel really—ugh—really fucking good.”
“Oh my god, wait, fuck, wait—” You whimper around his fingers and slow to a stop; your hands clutch at the back of his hoodie. You whine into the cloth, breathing him in, feeling him all over you. His hands move down to your waist, squeezing gently. You can hardly breathe. “I… I was getting close. I don’t wanna come yet.”
Taehyun shifts a little under you; you huff when his hands slide under your ass and he moves to stand up, lifting you with him. “Let’s move to the bed, then,” he grunts, and your legs close around his waist as he carries the both of you to his bed.
He preoccupies himself by kissing you—your lips don’t move away from each other’s as you tumble onto the mattress. Your mind is racing. You’ve imagined kissing Taehyun so many times before, fantasized about how it felt, and these past few days it was all you could think about. His lips are so warm, his hands even warmer where they wander on your skin. You want him close, closer. Inside.
You break the kiss. “Taehyun,” you murmur against his lips. “Taehyun, please.”
Thankfully, Taehyun seems to understand what you’re getting at, and doesn’t make you beg for it—he’s shimmied out of his sweats and hoodie in record time, with only boxers and a wife beater left. He smiles down at you, gentle, loving. “Could you undress for me?”
You don’t need to be asked twice. You pull your dolphin shorts down and kick them off your ankles, trying your best to peel off your shirt as you do so. Taehyun is fully shirtless now, shadows cast across his toned muscles, and his hands probe at his boxers, but his eyes are fixed on you.
You have never felt so exposed wearing your favorite set of lingerie—you fight the urge to cover your stomach with your arms and instead opt to look up at Taehyun from under your lashes and hope he’s as horny as you are right now.
It takes a moment for Taehyun to recollect himself, but when he does, his hands are immediately on you, awed at your softness. “Damn,” he breathes.
“How eloquent of you.”
Taehyun laughs, running his hands down your waist. “No, I—” He breathes out another chuckle, his eyes trailing down to your belly. “No, you’re just perfect.”
Your cheeks heat and you feel yourself throb a little at his praise. “Says you. Know how many guys would kill to have your body?”
“Know how many guys would kill to have such a beautiful, sexy, smart girl like you?”
You press your lips together. You can’t help but think about how nice he looks, seated between your legs. “A lot of guys would be after you, it seems.”
“Can’t blame them. Fuck, your thighs,” Taehyun groans, moving his hands over them. Your breath catches in your throat. His hands look—are—huge. “Oh my fucking god. Promise me you’ll let me eat you out.”
You blink. “Of course,” you say. “Could you get to fucking me already?”
Taehyun laughs. “Right, sorry. Let me take my boxers off first.”
“Do you have a condom?”
“Yeah, it should be in the hoodie pocket.”
You retrieve the hoodie from the other side of the bed and feel around in its pocket before your fingers graze the plastic; you immediately pick it up and throw the hoodie on the floor. Meanwhile, Taehyun is finally fully naked and stroking himself; you turn even redder. Fuck, you want him so bad.
You tell him so. “Hurry, hurry, please,” you gasp, tossing the unopened condom packet to Taehyun, who chuckles.
“On your hands and knees, angel.”
You obey and whimper impatiently as Taehyun opens the condom and puts it on.
“Jesus, baby, you’re such a mess already and I haven’t even put it in,” Taehyun mumbles. You feel the bed dip where he climbs onto it again, and moans when he gives your ass a smack. “Needy. That’s what you are. Needy and impatient.”
You whimper. “Please, pleasepleaseplease, just put it in, put it in—” Taehyun pushes the small of your back so you drop face-first onto the mattress, cheek squished against the blankets. It smells like him. Everything smells like him. For once you fall silent when he announces he’s sliding in and you feels it poking at your entrance. Your eyes squeeze shut.
He slides in the first inch and you can’t help but whine. “Pleeeease, Taehyun,” you gasp, your voice high and reedy. He complies without an answer, sliding in more, slowly, until he’s almost halfway. You let out a squeak.
“What’s wrong?” Taehyun coos. “Don’t think you can take it?”
You make a small, pathetic noise at the back of your throat. “Nonono,” you cry. “You’re just… really big. Bigger than that—that dumb f-fucking dildo.”
“Aw, am I r-r-really?” Taehyun grins and eases another inch into you before you get the chance to retort. You suck in a breath instead, bunching the sheets into your hands. In a moment of guilt, he uses his other hand to give your waist a reassuring squeeze, then leans over to push back your hair for you. “Damn, you’re tight. You can take it, though, can’t you?”
You whimper. “Ah, shit, yes.”
“That’s it. There you go. Doing such a good fucking job, taking my cock.”
Taehyun kisses your shoulder as he slides in the rest, a string of pathetic whimpers and cries leaving your mouth as he bottoms out. Once his thighs touch the back of yours, he stays very still, letting you adjust to the size.
To both your surprise, you are the one who breaks the almost-silence with a short huff as you prop yourself on your elbows. “You… you can move now,” you grit out, sounding almost pained.
Taehyun hums. “Tell me first. Which do you like better? The toy or my cock?”
You’re silent, but he can see your knuckles whitening as you grip the bedsheets. Taehyun scoffs and grabs both your arms with his hand, pulling them behind you with a grunt. You yelp as his cock hits a different angle inside of you.
“Tell me. Which one is better? I won’t move until you tell me.”
You whimper for a few moments, but Taehyun doesn’t let up. You take a shaky breath and let your head hang. “Y-you,” you mumble.
“Louder, pretty.”
“I like your cock better—hmf—better than the toy,” you say. Taehyun can hear the tears in your voice and his belly flip-flops. So fucking hot.
He might have said that out loud—you might have heard him—but he doesn’t have time to think about the possibilities, because at once he’s drawing his hips away from yours and slamming back inside again. The reaction is immediate. You keen, chest heaving at the intensity. 
“Fuck,” you croak, clinging onto the bedsheets.
“God,” Taehyun breathes, holding you up to his chest, “I’m obsessed with you.” He mouths at your neck and you whimper.
“Don’t bite too hard,” you plead. Taehyun bites down harder in response.
“I’ll bite as hard as I want,” he says, but there’s no heat in his words, and he presses a kiss to your shoulder right after. His hands snake up your body, from your hips to your waist until they stop comfortably at your tummy. He thrusts in and out of you at a steady pace, kissing mindlessly at any sliver of skin he can get his lips on. “Been dreaming about this for ages, you know. I’ve been wanting to fill you up for the longest time.”
Fire stirs within the pit of your stomach at the thought. “I do, too. Fingered myself thinking it was your cock,” you mumble back, delirious, and you can feel him smile against your shoulderblades. Suddenly, he slides out, flips you over and enters you once more in a single swift movement. His pace picks up and you exhale slowly, melting into the pleasure, your eyes trained on the array of faces he’s making above you.
“You’re perfect, angel.” Taehyun’s voice drops into a murmur, his bangs falling perfectly around his face. “I’ve always wanted to do this with you, baby. Not only because you’re really hot, but”—he lets out a moan here—“also ’cause I really, really like you, and I don’t wanna fuck the shit out of you for no reason, I—I also wanna take you on dates, and—” He pauses and groans when you squeeze down on him, eyes twisting shut. “Ah, shit, and I wanna fuck you not as a one time thing, but—fuck, but as like, a boyfriend thing—mm—you know?”
You let out a moan, your eyes cracking open incredulously. “You’re telling me this now?” you pant.
Taehyun laughs but goes even faster, his hands still tight around the softness of your waist. You cry out and latch onto his strong arms, wondering if this is happening, if this is real, if Taehyun really just confessed to you in the middle of rearranging your guts. You can’t believe this. Your heart flutters. Your pussy throbs. God, what is wrong with him?
Taehyun’s hand moves up to your jaw. He tilts your chin up and presses your lips together in a slow, slow kiss. “Fuck, baby, you’re gorgeous. Shit,” he says, kissing you again and again. He looks almost desperate, moving inside you, his entire face flushed red. “I love kissing you. Such a pretty girl, my baby, aren’t you? I—oh, fuck, you feel so good, I like you so much.”
“Shit,” you mewl, reaching up to cup his face. He kisses the corner of your mouth, moving almost desperately now, moaning loudly against your skin. “Fuck, Taehyun, you’re crazy—fuck—”
“Tell me how beautiful you are,” Taehyun rasps, not sounding like himself at all, but he moves his hips impossibly faster, and his hand trails down to your neck. “Tell me how pretty you look while your pussy chokes this dick, fuck.”
You wail, your hands flying up to grasp at his wrists. “I’m—’m a puh-pretty girl, fuck, ’m so pretty—”
“That’s right, princess. Are you close? You wanna come?” he rasps, reaching down now to rub your clit. “Go ahead, baby, come on my cock, please, fuck, come on—”
“Taehyun,” you gasp, your breath hitching, as you feel the waves of your oncoming orgasm. 
“—cream on it, sweet girl, make me proud, wanna feel you coming for me, ’cause of me—”
You cry out from underneath him and you jolt so suddenly it startles him; your back arches off the bed and your thighs clamp around him and you go very, very still. You come for a long time, breathing and whining throughout it; Taehyun keeps moving, easing you out of it, his hands rubbing and squeezing your waist until finally your muscles relax and you go slack, melting back into the mattress.
“That’s it, pretty, good job,” he murmurs, running feather-light touches up and down your torso. ��Good job, princess, what a sweet girl.”
He slides out of you after a minute, and you make a noise; you crane your neck to watch as he peels off the condom. “Did you come?” you ask, your voice awfully quiet. He looks up at you and smiles.
“It’s fine, baby.”
You move to sit up. “No, no—”
“Angel, I’m good.”
“You’re still—”
“Shush.” Taehyun scoots closer to you, settling on his elbows between your legs. “I still want to taste you.”
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An hour later, you find yourselves lying in bed together. After making you come another time on his tongue and finally coming after the world’s best handjob, Taehyun had scooped you up and seated you in the bathtub, where you took turns washing each other’s hair and giggling deliriously about what had just happened. You smell overwhelmingly like his shitty male body wash, but you find it hard to care that much when he’s buried his face in the crook of your neck.
Seeing that your friendship was effectively ruined in the best way possible, you find it hard not to giggle a little, wrapped in his arms. Taehyun’s hands, sliding smooth and gentle across your torso, stop abruptly.
“What are you laughing at?” he asks, sounding affronted.
“You. You’re ridiculous.”
“What? I wasn’t even doing anything.”
“Wouldn’t it have been easier to just ask me out on a date? As opposed to offering to fuck me. You came off a little strong with that, you know,” you mumble. “Now that I think about it, it was kind of a dick move.”
“Sorry,” Taehyun grumbles. “I’ve asked you out to dinner multiple times but you kept calling them friend dates so I gave up on that.”
“You were trying to flirt with me? I had no idea.”
“Clearly. That’s why I had to stop trying to make romantic advancements and just settled on asking to fuck you instead. The dildo was the perfect incentive.” His fingers move up to tangle in your hair. “I had—I have, like, the biggest, stupidest crush on you. It’s embarrassing.”
You smile. “Lucky you. I like you, too.”
He breathes out, presses his forehead to your shoulder. “Thank god. I was waiting for you to say it,” he says quietly. “We don’t have to talk about it now, though. Let’s talk about it in the morning.”
“Fine with me. Why were you even looking at my Amazon wishlist, anyway?”
“Well.” Taehyun stills his hands and clears his throat. “I was trying… to pick out… a birthday gift for you.”
“A birthday gift?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh my god.”
“Don’t laugh.”
You start to laugh. “Oh my god,” you say again, in between giggles. “My birthday isn’t for another two months, dumbass.”
“I wanted to be prepared!” Taehyun protests, pinching lightly at your waist. “I told you, I have the biggest fucking crush on you. I was gonna give you a bunch of little gifts. And actually, I was planning to ask you to be my girlfriend. I was so excited, too. Asked the guys for help and everything. Soobin was going to hold up the sign. And Beomgyu was in charge of finding a nice place.”
You snort, twisting around to kiss him. “Sorry for laughing. You’re just an idiot sometimes,” you mumble, and kiss him again. “If it makes you feel better, I would have said yes. And anyway… I kinda knew you liked me. The walls are very thin, you know.”
Taehyun tenses up behind you. “What?” he asks after a beat of silence.
“I hear you jacking off all the time. I’m sorry to break it to you. At least you sound pretty.”
Taehyun groans and presses his nose between your shoulderblades. “Fuck you,” he says, muffled.
You hum. “We’re even.”
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tyun: pussy so good i professed my undying love for her
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ultra-raging-ghost · 12 days
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In response to your post about the upcoming event:
(Feel free not to respond by the way, just wanted to share my thoughts)
I totally agree. Not only does it feel doomposty, but it also just feels almost like a conspiracy theory to me? Like, you don’t know the details about this event, so to automatically assume it’s being run in bad faith or because of x or y thing currently happening is kind of…well I think it certainly helps me form some not so great opinions on those people
You can of course be upset about what’s going on, but it’s important to recognize it is highly unrealistic to keep the server in a permanent limbo state while we wait for information these people want to be public. Those processes take a *long time*. It isn’t necessarily trying to brush off or hide away what has happened, but rather trying to continue forward for the sake of the project
I am responding to this because i agree wholeheartedly
I feel like some people dont understand, legal stuff in the US generally take a couple months to well over a YEAR and i think its the same situation as when the egg figurines were released. QSMP needs revenue, it needs creator and audience interaction, it needs to actually gain money to make the progress people want to see. I am making that point very clear because i have a suspicion it might be streamed on the QSMP twitch channel, bad spotted some behind the scenes camera work, coulda been for the cutscene we got today but i think its for the event personally.
Its kind of obvious (to me at least) when things are admin run, and so far for the past couple weeks EVERYTHING has been ADMIN RUN. They were holding off but eventually went back to rping again because its FUN and they want to have fun on the SERVER. and even the admins NOT ON THE SERVER want it to continue running and continue content being made, are you deaf?? how in the world are you angrier than the people who were affected? what kind of goddamn vigilante justice bullshit??
This probably made no sense, but im excited. Im not gonna not be excited, im not letting anyone ruin the fun of the project
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okay so here is her review: https://arkadymartine.wordpress.com/2015/09/27/the-traitor-baru-cormorant-a-reviewresponse/
admittedly its from 2015- i haven't poked around to see how she may have changed how she feels about it, and i know she did blurb seth's recent scifi novel (Exordia), so there's no bad blood there or anything. it's also a positive review, in general- she ends with this sentence: "I highly, highly recommend this book; I have not thought so much about something I read in a long time."
i am also coming into this as someone who has read all of seth dickinson's work for the game destiny, where he was near-singlehandedly responsible for a good oh… 80% of the interesting women (& overall interesting concepts lol!) in the game, and his writing of one of those characters in particular as a complex and flawed character got him bullied viciously off of all social media. if you've tried to find his social media presence and havent found anything, that's why. so i mayhaps have a little more emotion in the game.
THAT SAID. here are some specific parts from her review i find really fucking annoying! and color the way i feel about Memory & Desolation, despite them being so incredibly targeted at me as a classics person AND someone who fucking loves the specific sub-genre of scifi her novels are.
"[Traitor] asks a question which I find compelling as a student of an empire and as a queer woman. That question is: what do we gain by complicity? What do we – we barbaroi, we women, we queer people, we imperialized – what do we get when we say yes? When we say yes I will hide my true nature? When we say yes I will subsume myself into the beautiful machine? When we say can we speak English? Or the literature I love just happens to be written by straight white men – and mean it, too, mean it with the kind of depthless love that a person can have for a text that speaks to them, which holds up a mirror to them?"
i dont think the use of the greek word for barbarian does anything here (she also keeps coming back to the greek term orthos in her review, which also pisses me off lol), i dont think empire is a "beautiful machine," and i don't think the invocation of identity politics is useful. like. i know she's a byzantine scholar but if your first association with empire is purely a finite Historical Empire instead of, like, modern US imperialism, or British colonialism, you are going into this discussion with a certain set of values and opinions! a set of values and opinions that let you call an empire a "beautiful machine" in all earnestness. this claim probably seems unsubstantiated and nitpicky now just from this excerpt but ill come back to it with more i promise. on the idpol front, she also says immediately after this that she does believe that straight people can and should write queer people, but that they should listen to queer people when they point out those errors. she then continues:
"But then, critique: there are two points on which I think Dickinson’s portrayal of a queer protagonist has faltered, and I think both of these errors arise from the fact that he isn’t part of – as far as I know at the time of writing this review – a queer community. Firstly, I disbelieve Baru’s awareness of her own desires… …For the first portion of the book, her queerness felt more like a character trait assigned to her for reason of plot than a naturally built part of her as a person… Secondly, I wonder where queer people in Falcrest are…"
theres more to these excerpts, but. i personally didnt find the depiction of baru's desire to be unrealistic, and also this was a review of Traitor, specifically, so where on earth would baru have heard about queer people in falcrest? and more importantly, why should we care so much about queer people in the imperial core? moreover i think the way seth does it with svir is very very well done, and illustrates the hypocrisy of empire in a way that does NOT seem like what martine is asking for here!!!
"Why am I invested? I myself am a student of empire. I’m a Byzantinist. My academic work is about empire and its seductions; it is the animating principle of my professional life. And: I am myself someone who loves order over disorder. Who looks for systems in all things. Who is comforted by structures; who is concerned deeply with propriety. But here’s my real criticism of this book: I don’t buy the seduction of the Masquerade. And I think if this book fails, it’s there: in that its empire is too easily read as undesirable. As profane, unethical, fundamentally wrong. It is really overtly evil." … "The Masquerade isn’t civilized. It’s civilization, but I don’t recognize it as civilized, and this is a problem with a constructed empire. An empire relies on itself as the definition of civilization – I would footnote here Ann Leckie’s Imperial Radch as a SFnal example of an empire which is built on this principle, and which, for this reader at least, achieves the facsimile. (But then my ancestors were not enslaved, we were exterminated; not annexed, but exiled. Perhaps I like the Radch better than the Masquerade because I can find a place for myself in it, and cannot imagine a place within the Masquerade someone like me would ever be safe –)"
and THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE IS MY BIGGEST PROBLEM. critiquing the masquerade as not "seductive" enough, calling it too evil to have people join it- how does someone miss the point THIS badly??? like. are you FUCKING serious??? how do you read a book about the immense violence of colonialism and your problem is that it is boohoo too violent for people to join willingly. google literally fucking anything the US has done ever!!! and the invocation of the concept of "civilized" as an objective quality, despite the recognition that the empire constructs what counts as "civilization" is so fucking unserious/simplistic/juvenile! why do you need to imagine yourself a place in the empire? in the imperial core specifically!
and i think this particular approach bleeds into her books. i read them at Least 2 years ago, so this is mostly vibes-based, and i will avoid spoilers.
there is such a focus on the allure of the imperial core, on the "beautiful machine" of the empire as she calls it. there is violence done, but it is abstracted away from the wealth of the imperial core. there are no economics there. the empire sees her independent station as a backwater, and there is some cultural tensions there, but there is no realistic violence and exploitation! it is not clear at all what maintains the empire, besides some abstract idea of trade. i also don't know what her Point is with the naming & language conventions, which are very clearly inspired in part by ancient Mayan- e.g. the empire and core planet are called Teixcalaan. and idk this may be reductive of me but i think if you are going to pull features from civilizations that have been colonized and use them to inspire fictional colonizing forces, you ARE saying something there! idk! and like, the ancient Mayan
and on the ~representation~ front, i also don't think she does a better job than seth tbqh!!! i felt like the characters getting together came out of nowhere and felt anticlimactic- there is also not the tension i think there should be with the main character being an ambassador-ish and the love interest being… idr. junior intelligence officer iirc? idk! and for all her critique of baru's desire for women not feeling "real" or present enough, i do not remember the main character in Memory having any real focus on it!
i enjoyed Memory just fine, but i don't think it says anything interesting or novel or even critical about empire, and i found her review of Traitor extremely shallow and useless, if very revealing about her own outlook on empire lol!!!
this has been at best Minorly proofread and edited but im not like, writing an academic essay on the matter and so i apologize for any inconsistencies.
oh man thanks for this this is really interesting. i went and read the whole thing and i agree a ton with your critique. i'm going to stick my thoughts below the cut because i went on for a bit here, in typical fashion.
i personally didnt find the depiction of baru's desire to be unrealistic, and also this was a review of Traitor, specifically, so where on earth would baru have heard about queer people in falcrest? and more importantly, why should we care so much about queer people in the imperial core?
NO BUT EXACTLY... for starters this is explicitly a novel about colonized people taking place in a colony where none of the major characters are from the empire. where, when, and how would we take the time to explore what queerness looks like for them and more importantly, like you've asked, why the hell should that be a priority for the narrative in this case.
in terms of 'i found this to be an unrealistic depiction of queer desire' 9/10 times i feel like what that means is 'i found this to be an unrelatable depiction' which is an entirely different critique. i know i'm working with two additional books worth of context that martine isn't working with here. but even taking into account just the characterization we have for baru in traitor i think this is suuuuch an unfair complaint. i'm gonna pull the entire quote she says about baru's sexuality here because i have additional specific gripes with it.
Firstly, I disbelieve Baru’s awareness of her own desires. In the first portion of the book, I do not ever feel the weight of Baru’s own awareness of her sexuality; there is an absence of carnality, a kind of intellectual version of lesbian desire which is, to me, inconsistent with the sort of desire I expect. Not until the introduction of Baru’s eventual lover Tain Hu do I get a sense of Baru as a woman who loves women. Further, considering how very much the Empire of Masks and Increastic philosophy criminalizes the sin of queer desire, I wish Baru had struggled more with the nature of her desire. For the first portion of the book, her queerness felt more like a character trait assigned to her for reason of plot than a naturally built part of her as a person. This markedly improved in the second half, where Baru notices women in a way she does not notice men.
For starters, it is insanely hypocritical to me to complain that her desire both isn't carnal enough and she processes it too intellectually, but that she isn't struggling enough with it. Baru intellectually processes things! That's her entire character from the getgo! She also has a difficult time conceptualizing other people as fully realized beings with their own agency. These character traits paired together don't make for a particularly passionate and carnal relationship to her sexuality. She is also, at her absolute oldest in this book, 21! (Or 22? I can't remember. I know she spends 3 years in aurdwynn) and has spent her entire youth being groomed to be a scholar. Of course detached intellectualism is her primary way of navigating all things. Why wouldn't it be?
Baru primary motivation is to save taranoke, she wants to save the taranoki way of life, and part of that way of life includes an acceptance of nonhetero nonmonogamous relationships. Sure, a different character arc may have involved baru actually internalizing and then having to break free of the trappings of race, gender, and sexuality that the empire tries to impose upon its citizens. but that's not baru and acting like this is a writing flaw rather than a character choice is insane to me.
There's absolutely no reason for Baru to lie awake at night pontificating about how wrong and dirty of her it is to want to have sex with women because we are never lead to believe even for a minute that Baru puts any emotional weight in incrasticism. She doesn't conceptualize it as sinful she conceptualizes it as illegal!
And "Not until the introduction of Baru’s eventual lover Tain Hu do I get a sense of Baru as a woman who loves women. " is killing me in particular because like. Yeah. Tain Hu is baru's first love. thats the point. But beyond that this is just not being able to see anything other than what she's looking for because i think the chapters covering baru's childhood make it pretty clear that her feelings for aminata and cousin lao (im not double checking the name but im pretty sure it was this) are deep and strong. the fact that they're not as explicitly and straightforwardly romantic and sexual as her relationship with tain hu doesn't change that, and in fact, points to baru's struggle with/development of her sexuality that she claims was somehow missing in this book.
like i just simply can't see anything here but someone who is seeing an emotional landscape they can't relate to and assuming that means it's flawed writing. skill issue frankly.
She's also fucking insane for acting like the masquerade is too cartoonishly evil to be appealing. once again im going to post her full quote here because i think its important to see
its empire is too easily read as undesirable. As profane, unethical, fundamentally wrong. It is really overtly evil. It punishes sexual “deviants” with mutilation and death. It murders children callously. It inflicts plague and withholds vaccines. It lobotomizes its own emperors for the sake of convincing its populace that the emperor is just. Most of all, the Masquerade is a eugenicist empire: it is explicitly founded on not purity of bloodline but on purification of bloodline, on making people useful to it. It makes people: it breeds them carefully, it indoctrinates them through schools, it uses drugs and operant conditioning to transform their minds and make them into automata tools. It commits every atrocity that a modern Western reader recognizes as abhorrent. This is a problem. It is a problem because we are asked, as readers, to believe that there are reasons besides blackmail that a person would willingly become an agent of the Masquerade. We are asked to imagine that the Masquerade is a beautiful machine.
for starters. "It commits every atrocity that a modern Western reader recognizes as abhorrent." MODERN WESTERN EMPIRES DID, AND OCCASIONALLY STILL DO, MOST OF THESE THINGS!!! THIS IS US! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!! I FEEL INSANE!!!!
I think the book makes it more than explicitly clear why the empire is appealing??? it has all of the capital???? its building schools and sewage systems and importing food and goods and teaching reading and writing??? baru's own internal narrative often shows her own strife at the fact that the empire has made genuinely incredible scientific advancements that offer significant improvements in quality of life to many, many people. martine actually acknowledges this in the next paragraph of her review, and then brushes it away as not being good enough. why? what about that doesn't convince you?
she is seeming to hugely ignore the fact that in the case of aurdwynn specifically, the bureaucracy of the empire is coming in to unseat feudal aristocracy! what the masquerade offers may not be particularly tempting to most of that ruling class, but its economic opportunities are more then believably appealing to the common people. i think this is made pretty clear when baru's ploy to use the fiat bank to make loans to the aurdwynni people and basically lessen the massive tax burdens from the duchies wins her huge favor with the public.
and frankly even for the ruling class the potential economic benefits are massive too if you're willing to participate in the empire properly. yes the empire doesn't have Moral appeal. it doesn't fucking have to. it owns pretty much every economy outside of the oriati mbo. the fact that that's not enough for her is as you've pointed out really really showing her biases and blind spots. 'no reason besides blackmail' MONEY!!!! MONEY! IT'S MONEY! THIS IS A BOOK ABOUT ACCOUNTING! HOW DID YOU MISS THAT!!!
and the invocation of the concept of "civilized" as an objective quality, despite the recognition that the empire constructs what counts as "civilization" is so fucking unserious/simplistic/juvenile! why do you need to imagine yourself a place in the empire? in the imperial core specifically!
And this is really it for me too, yeah. It's gross. It's absolutely gross. "An empire isn't believably appealing unless I, personally, find it appealing" there are people alive who are eugenicists, who love community policing, who believe in race science. the masquerade is an empire for them. the thing about empires is that they are only actually empowering for an incredibly small subset of people, and the fact that You, Specifically, Arkady Martine can't imagine being one of those people in this instance doesn't make it not believable. This is a shatteringly individualist way of engaging with a work.
As for your points about the way she handles empire in her own book obviously i can't have anything to say there because i haven't read it yet, but i do absolutely agree with you on this bit:
and idk this may be reductive of me but i think if you are going to pull features from civilizations that have been colonized and use them to inspire fictional colonizing forces, you ARE saying something there! idk! and like, the ancient Mayan
1000% i don't think this is reductive of you. whether or not you're consciously saying anything is one question but it's a choice that absolutely doesn't exist in a vacuum. out of curiosity i googled her to see if she was of mayan descent or anything and maybe she chose that due to some personal ties to the subject matter but she doesn't seem to be. which of course i don't think means she can't or shouldn't draw any inspiration from there but i do think all of these sorts of choices are meaningful
i don't really have much to say here to round off a conclusion but. wow. deeply deeply telling review that does not particularly make me want to read anything she has written beyond this.
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pineappleciders · 1 year
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heyy first of all its me the fucked up dream anon (now going by dream anon how original) second of all ive decided im going to learn about south park purely through your work so can i get some tweek (ive latched onto that boy) and whoever else you want (probably the main boys) with a reader (all platonic ofc) who's got that #anxiety? thanks even if you dont do it <33
🌌🌟/dream anon
main 4 + tweek with a reader who has anxiety; platonic headcanons
A/N: haii :3 i apologize if this like, distorts your vision of the characters or something. i am so glad you are being converted to the religion of tweek!!!!!!
TRIGGER WARNING: anxiety disorders, light mental health topics, paranoia, panic/anxiety attacks, death mention on kennys part
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stan marsh
i think stan has a normal amount of anxiety. like he's so regular. he's your average joe
like he gets anxious over tests, and giving speeches, and over wendy. other than that he doesn't experience it to the extent of a disorder
so it might be a little difficult for him to imagine getting anxious over simple things like ordering food and stuff like that
he'll try his best to listen though, although he'll probably try to kinda reason with you, esp if you're feeling paranoid or something
"dude, i checked twice, it's locked. relax, man."
he'll try to distract you, by playing games and watching stuff, and just generally kinda trying to be funny to take your mind off of things
if you're having a panic/anxiety attack, he kinda panics too at first, before quickly pulling you away and asking what's wrong. he is sweating very hard
if you're unresponsive, he tries to stay calm but is honestly considering calling an ambulance. like he thinks you're having a stroke
"shit, a panic attack? uh, okay, errr.... take deep breaths, okay? in.. and out. in.. and out. okay, that's good.."
he looks up grounding techniques on his phone and relays them to you until you calm down and catch your breath. he like sends you images off of google of the 5 senses technique randomly and says he figured you'd need it someday
he tries to keep your anxiety in mind, and might slip up sometimes, but for the most part he tries to be careful with his words and actions as to not worry you. he shows his care in subtle ways!!
kyle broflovski
he tries to kinda. logic it out a bit. like if you're feeling insecure he tells you how unrealistic it is for someone to think about one random passerby's appearance forever
he does feel bad though. he doesn't completely understand, but whenever he's feeling insecure he tends to get really anxious about people at school
he usually gets anxious whenever he's doing something wrong or sneaking out. like he's actually sweating and shitting his pants thinking about what his mom will do to him if she finds out
he'll encourage you to order food for yourself, to get yourself out there more, and if you succeed he'll pat your shoulder and smile a lil
if you don't want to, he might dramatically sigh but he'll do it anyways. cuz he knows how hard it is
i do think he'd get a little anxious about asking workers for help and stuff, but he'll be the bigger person... he supposes... smh my head...
when you have an panic attack for the first time, he's like really confused and gets super concerned that you're having a heart attack, and pulls his phone out to dial your parents or 911
"i'm here for you dude! listen- hey, listen to me. it's okay. can- can you-"
he tries to talk to you to de-escalate it, but he gives up and has his hand on your back, while looking up what the fuck to do
'friend havign panjc atgack what to do'
if you're okay with it, he probably talks to your parents about it. he doesn't really trust himself to be able to always calm you down, so he encourages getting outside/professional help
he does try though, and he'll always be there for you in different ways!! like when you need help with something or just need company to distract you, he's at ur door with his xbox 360
eric cartman
you can tell that eric gets a little uncomfortable if you're freaking out or feeling anxious. whether it's because he actually feels bad or just doesn't know how to handle your emotions, you'll never know
but either way, he'll probably just like. sit next to you like "dude, what's up with you?" or in other cases he'll sneakily slip out of the room unseen
he does try to be kinda logical about it, but that's solely because he physically can't speak words of comfort.
"i mean, dude, be seriously. nobody cares about you that much to notice." you speak such kind words eric!!
he doesn't really like it when things get serious, so he'll generally try to transition the situation into something more casual. like he'll try to ease your (his) mood by getting snacks and playing games together, or even begging his mom to take you both to KFC
if you have a panic attack, all of his alarms are blaring and his brain is screaming flight!!!!! flight!!!! run the fuck away!!!!
and he probably tries to, but when you notice him and call his name he physically deflates
he awkwardly turns around and slowly strolls over. "Y/N... heeeeeeey... what's up... duuude..." you can hear the strain in his voice
if it gets to be too much, as in you won't stop hyperventilating or can't breathe, he'll probably alert an adult or take you to the nurse or something. he tells himself it's because he doesn't want to be a suspect of your death
if ur having trouble ordering food he'll gladly take ur place and make a scene to get all eyes on him. "erm excuthe me they athed for no pickleth🤓"
other than when you're voicing your anxiety, he probably treats you the same. i don't really think he'd take advantage of your anxiety unless you were like. butters or heidi or something and he was really trying to get you to do something for him or just trying to. stick himself in your mind. because he's a narcissist and he loves that!!
kenny mccormick
he doesn't relate necessarily, but he definitely understands.
he lives a lot of his life in fear of his next death, and is constantly praying it be quick and painless
kenny is more of a reserved fella, but not really shy or anxious. so if you're having trouble speaking up or ordering something he'll step up and do it gladly!!
i think he'd be pretty decent at comforting. like he'll pat his hand on your back and speak assuring, muffled words
"mm, mmph mmph mmmph! mmph mph mph mmmfmf mmf mph mph mmph!" (aww, it'll be okay. i'll walk you every step of the way, buddy!)
he tries to take your emotions into consideration more, and grabs your hand and squeezes it sometimes if you need a boost of confidence. sometimes he forgets your anxiety and says something rude and feels really bad about it
when you're having a panic attack, he's honestly really scared and expects you to start foaming at the mouth or something
he'll hesitate, but he'll pat your back and try to help you with grounding techniques. the 5-4-3-2-1 in particular is his favorite, and he'll tell you how to do it in like a rlly sweet and calming voice
he's still spooked though, and gets you a water bottle and like a washcloth. he's incredibly thankful you aren't dying or anything
kenny is very good at comforting! sometimes all it takes is a simple moment of eye contact and seeing his eyes crinkle that gives you a surge of calmness you didn't know you needed
tweek tweak
tweek is no outsider to anxiety and stress. he's literally a living beehive with all that damn vibrating
to anyone else, it would seem like tweek had a severe anxiety disorder, or even ADHD. but it turns out it's just a result of his crippling meth addiction and caffiene overdoses
he tries to think about what craigs taught him, about grounding techniques and how to handle a panic attack, and tries to apply those for you
he's shakily take your hand and wrap you in a blanket, making you hot cocoa and helping you slowly come back to your senses
"okay, okay, what are 5 things you can touch? or- no- AGH! was it 5 things you see- hear? no, ACK! i can't remember!"
most of the time if you're feeling on-edge about something, his main goal will be to just listen to you talk and validate your feelings. he doesn't really make it a point to give you advice or try to be logical, unless you directly ask for it
he's great at listening!!! he also doesn't trust his own advice enough to say it to someone else.
he really tries to think hard about what comforts him when he's anxious, and so he tries to use the tactics for you. for instance, he tries to help you get into a hobby like painting to have a bit more control over yourself
hc that tweek loves to draw with crayons so he'll make little drawings of you and him as stick figures being all happy and give them to you. as a treat
overall he is very attentive, and cares a lot. he tries his very best to be there for you, and a lot of the time that results in you two just hanging out or gaming together, so you can both get your mind off of things for a while. it makes him happy to be able to be there for someone else like craig was for him
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@void-detective OKIE DOKIE ILL ANSWER YOUR QUESTION HERE (hey hi hello it’s lil ol me @wisecrackingeric-2 ) CUZ THATS WHAT THIS BLOGS FOR AGABGSWBDHJSX I HOPE YOU DONT MIND!!!!!
Okay so the thing is. Compared to Leon or even compared to his time spent with Los Illuminados we don’t,,,, k n o w a whole lot about that portion of Luis’ life
Like OK if you’re speaking in logistics/canon compliancy then no alas it wouldn’t work at all JANSHSNDJXNX Laboratory Six (the Lab Luis worked in that made Nemesis) was set in Paris, France, and by the time the Raccoon City Outbreak had started, Luis had already fled Umbrella and presumably ended up in Valdelobos (sure there’s a CHANCE he might’ve floated around Europe for a while but?? He describes his time spent working on the Plagas as having been ‘years’ so I’m assuming he went straight to Valdelobos)
The timeline gets kinda wonky with Luis- he would’ve roughly been 22 when he fled umbrella, and it would’ve been anywhere between a couple months to a year before the RC Outbreak, and which meant he spent five or six years trapped by Los Illuminados give or take???? Which makes how he got a degree, went to college, got a job at Umbrella and spent enough time there to become one of their head scientists really funny to imagine when you remember he was only 21/22 when he fled HDBSHDNSJS like damn that man is a CHILD PRODIGY!!!! ((It also makes it DEVASTATING to imagine how he found out about Raccoon City one way or another but HEY I SAID NOTHING))
But if you’re talking in an AU or personality wise???? That’s a WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY IM CHOMPING AT THE BIT FOR
Honestly I don’t think it’d be TOOOO different to their actual dynamic, just that they were both a lot younger and had a lot more maturing to do!!!! Again we don’t really know what kind of a person Luis was when he was younger other than that he was SUPER ambitious (which makes sense), probably a little more floaty/cocky (I don’t think he was lying about being a ladies man HXNSSJHD) overly curious and just generally really well-liked by his peers!! Like he considered them his family so I imagine he was probably just a more roughhouse version of the Luis we know him as now. We also don’t know how much of the Nemesis project Luis was aware of- given his upbringing I HIGHLY doubt Luis would go into umbrella knowing full well the scope of what they’re doing but I think it’s unrealistic to say he had malicious intent the entire time!!!
But adding onto that I think his guilt would be a LOT more apparent and repressed at the same time. Like when we see him in RE4R he’s already at a point where he’ll throw himself into the fire to fix his mistakes so can you IMAGINE what it must’ve been like when he was FRESH out of said mistakes????? Would he have tried to pretend they never happened??? Would it manifest as being destructive??? Who knows!!!!!! But I know for a fact Leon’s presence would DEFINITELY throw him for a loop HDBEHENDJD
Leon in RE2 is just PAINFULLY good at heart. Like we all know this you don’t need me to repeat it HXBSHSNS all he wants from the very start is to help anyone and everyone he can, and I think that would extend to Luis too. He’s obviously a lot more trusting too (like blah bla everyone get your jokes abt him believing that Ada was an FBI agent out of the way) so I don’t think he’d have AS strong of a grudge against Luis as he does in the remake. Sure I think he’d be WARY of him but if Luis was as honest and open as he is in re4r (even with a little prodding) which I think he definitely would be, ESPECIALLY cuz of, Y’know, waves hands, the debilitating guilt BXNSHNSJS Leon wouldn’t have a hard time trusting him in the end
What ID be SUPER INTERESTED IN is what would happen AFTER RC!!!! Would Leon try to protect Luis from the law???? Would Luis follow in Leon’s footsteps and be a government agent???? Would they both run away to Valdelobos and BOTH get stuck?????????
TLDR FOR THIS ACCIDENTALLY REALLY LONG POST AHWNWHWNDUDJSK I don’t think it’d be much different!!!!!!! They’d just have more maturing to do, which I think is weirdly beautiful!!!!!! Leon is still rather naive and optimistic and overly trusting and Luis is still wild and ambitious and overly curious about the world around him!!!!!! They’re good people at heart and I think their lives would’ve been a whole lot different if they’d just met at a different time and a different place
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darlinguistics · 4 months
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'its just IMPOSSIBLE to not be addicted to your phone nowadays its UNREALISTIC-'
heres some advice to being less chronically online. for gen z (and younger??) who dont even know how to start thinking about it and have only heard shitty advice from older adults who just genuinely do not get it, from a fellow gen z and my experiences so far.
*these are personal and may not all 100% resonate but its still good prompting to start thinking about things! PLEASE feel free to add your own stories/advice in the notes! support your fellow humans, dont gatekeep what youve learned, lets have these conversations! and no negativity/pessimism please <3
first thing is to make it a less scary thought, a more concrete idea and not a hypothetical. it doesnt have to be all-or-nothing, cold turkey, a huge announcement and a fundamental shift in your personality. the internet will be in your life for the rest of your life, this is an ongoing relationship you are trying to make healthier thats all! and it takes one step at a time and some self-compassion, but a true effort nonetheless. 'dont you think thats a bit too serious-' if youre my age you quite literally grew up and developed online, it is literally part of your psyche the way your childhood is, it IS serious, you deserve to treat it seriously.
dont save your login info/dont stay logged in for social media accounts, having to manually log in when you want to go on like youre on some elementary school chrome book is a really healthy and clear boundary to have between being logged off and logged on.
-> bigger challenge - uninstall it on your phone in general, only log on on your laptop/pc if applicable for you!
if youre motivated to, try to work on your posture too. i only say that because most of our bad posture is at least partially related to being on our phones a lot, and when i started wanting to fix my posture, completely separately and unrelated from trying to break my phone addiction, it made it easier to lose interest in my phone since i didnt want to ruin my progress with my posture. it made me start to have a mindset like 'well if you cant do this on your phone with good posture then dont do it' and 'if youre on your phone so long your posture starts to cave in, youve probably spent too long on your phone anyway'
listen to music more. its easier for me to kinda write off my phone and do other things if i just open music or a podcast or long youtube video on it. i know we all love long video essays, but i recommend music more specifically for me at least because im less inclined to pause music or scroll while listening to it for some reason? whereas using a show or video or podcast for white noise, im way more likely to also be scrolling on my phone and that is my activity lol. music for some reason i dont want to interrupt and instead of being on my phone i can clean or do something productive on my computer etc
this one is sooo hard but try to fall asleep with some distance between you and your phone, even just a couple feet. mine stays on the desk next to my bed which isnt that far but its better than on bed like it used to be. when you wake up you probably wont feel like reaching for it right away if its far and even better if you have to get up for it because then at least you stand and move your body first thing instead of looking at your phone first thing. and try to get more and more of your morning routine done before touching your phone over time.
-> for me, i started by just trying to at least wake up a bit in bed before touching it, then stand up before touching it, then stand and stretch, then going to the bathroom first, making coffee first, feeding the cat first, etc. its surprisingly helpful to have a specific chore/task in mind that is The requirement so that everytime you do it you get a lil dopamine rush for unlocking your phone from yourself lmao. when the weather was nice i used to make my Requirement being outside first before going on it and i LOVED that. esp as it got easier and i started doing more and more before going on it and finally walking outside with coffee and my phone felt like such a pleasant little reward.
find a hobby that uses your hands. example: i really need to get back into knitting because when i did it regularly so much time that wouldve been on my phone was spent knitting with music/podcasts/shows/(even online lectures! when i felt productive lol) playing. its the same amount of physical relaxing - barely moving lol - but uses a longer attention span and a much better dopamine hit than scrolling, i literally MADE things.
-> you might be thinking, 'but mindless knitting isnt better than mindless scrolling is it?' but that mindless feeling on your phone is just that, mindless. the mindless feeling you get when doing something like knitting is actually closer to a flow state, which is actually incredibly good for you, like a fulfilling nutritious meal as opposed to 'empty calories' or whatever
get a widget for your homescreen that shows your screen time. i have one and of course it doesnt always stop me but seeing that time go up all day the more i use it and the pride of keeping it low is really helpful
practice grounding. in general.
spend more time on anonymous activities and have more privacy and less attachment with your 'persona' - what i mean by that is, i consider things like scrolling through tumblr (for me personally!) to be relatively harmless because i dont try to like,, brand myself here. if youre a tumblr regular you know the jokes - 0 follows, 0 notes, screaming to the void, moots you dont talk to, blorbo pfp and urls, fake names everywhere, and we're having fun! basically targeting the 'everyone is famous now' thing with this one - embrace being a nobody with no personal stakes here
-> personally ive never kept up with having social media accounts that are actually just, me irl - like a facebook or main instagram, like a locals account yknow? but i think it goes for that too - stop spending so much time trying to further personalize your online presence in the hopes of it representing you perfectly - because it never will, and it shouldnt, and you shouldnt aspire for that. your social media presence is lighthearted and incredibly surface-level, treat it like that! thats not me bashing social media either, having that mindset will make it more enjoyable bc youll be using it as it should be used!
do following/followers or camera roll/files or app purges. this is also a soft launch type of way to practice easing into a better mindset. aside from just literally getting rid of junk, the process of trying to judge whether or not you need something is good practice in mindfulness! even if you dont delete everything you feel like you maybe should, thats fine, youll do other purges in the future too. eventually youll get better at parting with things and realizing when things that feel good in a moment are actually bad for you. and it forces you to regularly check in on your more long-lasting parasocial relationships online and how theyre serving you or not
speaking of parasocial - for actual friends, if theyre irl, think about how much you interact with them online vs in person and why you think that is and how it affects you. maybe youll wanna see them more irl if possible (i promise its better for your friendship), maybe youll realize you dont need to keep tabs on them anymore (old high school acquaintances lookin at you). for celebrities and fandom things - try to think about the bare minimum content from them you could do with. you dont have to unstan all your faves and stop enjoying things - but do you need their notifications on? do you need to have a stan account? do you need them on all the platforms? do you need to have all that saved content of them? are there aspects of this that you love that could be found elsewhere?
if youre of the genre of online where you just cant help yourself from getting involved in big discussions or discourse and arguments - i recommend journaling when you get upset by something online, articulating your feelings without the idea of someone ever reading it and without the goal of 'winning' or being the most correct and logical or even the most sympathetic and morally good. take away every audience aspect of it. what is this really about for you, and why would strangers online deserve to hear your personal well-thought out opinions? why would your thoughts deserve to be simplified and misconstrued and underappreciated the way they would be in this discussion? is there even an outcome to this where you feel truly satisfied? are their people who are more worthy of hearing your thoughts who arent part of this audience? is this a conversation that is best held online where so much communicative nuance is inevitably sacrificed?
in the end these are all just practices in remembering how in control you are. and that goes for if any of these are scary or too difficult sounding too! these all become less scary if you remember that as soon as anything becomes too uncomfortable or painful, you have all the power to stop doing it, make a change, and try again later. so much of advice for quitting bad habits can be intimidating because the pressure and the shame that would come from failing scares you out of the possible benefits of trying - just go ahead and kill that shame from the jump. of course youre going to fail! you are going to have setbacks! thats part of it! you have agency in this, always. the internet is not inherently or completely evil nor good. build trust in yourself to make the calls on when it is serving you and when it isnt on a case-by-case basis, and then give yourself permission to learn through trial and error.
and remember you are worth all of this effort. i believe in us <3
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justatalkingface · 9 months
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Unsure if I mentioned this here but I do think Izu and Shig backstory dont make whole lot sense.
Izu wants to be a hero bc...bc why not? I know you said how he may he brainwashed to propaganda but the thing is we dont know for fact. Yes, Izu saw one video of Am saving everyone but thanks to Hori...it seems only Izu is a fan of AM.
And he was abused for no reason. Now, I like heroes who come.from the bottom and work their way up but usually it has a sense, a logic here. For example. Naruto wants to be a hokage but the village hates him bc of the ninetail fox who is sealed in him. Its works as to explain people in the village dont like him and why he wants to be hokage.
Izu wants to be hero bc.....who knows?
Izu is abused bc .....why not?
Shig is the villain of the story. Was taken by afo and trained to be a big deal...except not. Afo gives 0 fucks about shig and seems to loathe Nana for some reason and he ignores Shig.
He let Shig lives in a bar(a seedy one) and we, as a reader dont get Shig. He speaks "I will end all the heroes" but we see him chilling and gamming. Why? Why not?!
He gets an army out of nowhere.
He has no real conviction and all he has is a sad backstory (which I think it is lazy) and a cool power.
Thats it.
I do see Shig in canon as a npc who waits for afo to follow instructions. The part I say it makes no sense is why Shig obeys afo and why he is so dead set in destroy all heroes. Why?
Why not?
And he has no real developement same as Izu but the villain stans love to pick fights with others fandoms to say "Shig is the most complex character ever"
(Legit! I'm not making this one up. Some fans do picked up with the JJK fandom bc of the Shig's speech in the war that was aired at the same volume as a character from JJK who made a speech akin to "I care for my friends")
Izuku wants to be a hero because a mess of things: part of it is he simply wants to help people. Part of it is that he wants acknowledgement from others, to be deemed as 'worthy'. I'd bet actual money that there's more than a few dreams of just being strong for once in his life there as well, as compared to feeling weak all the time, because the costumes we saw in his notebook were as much fantasy (all All Might, all the time!) than anything realistic.
All of these things are things that can be achieved outside of heroism, true, but there is where the propaganda kicks in (along with more than a little learned helplessness, more fantasizing, and so on): Izuku thinks, emotionally, that being a hero is the only way he can achieve them.
It's interesting, because that first chapter shows him putting aside those dreams, so he's intellectually aware of the impossibility of them, among other things, and since he's not an idiot he probably realizes that he can save people without being All Might, but it's clear that's settling for him all the same, and on some instinctive level those facts aren't clicking for him.
In all honesty, Early Izuku's dream of being a hero is just that: a dream. Something unrealistic, something that isn't going to happen.
(And, yes, I realized that with what we've seen of heroism for most of the story, a Quirkless person could actually perform all the various heroic duties as well as most Quirked individuals; that's not the point. The main reason he can't is the systematic prejudices about the Quirkless and heroes that say that they can't, to the point where such a thing is literally unpreceded. On top of that, said prejudices have been used to beat down Izuku so damn hard that he doesn't have the guts to actually try for it, which, again, isn't actually his fault; when the world tell you, 'fuck you for living', over and over and over and over again it makes it hard to do anything, but if Izuku was actually trying for heroism in a real way, he would have been in a lot better shape then he was at the start of canon.)
It's something he realizes, but the point of Izuku's dream of being a hero, for Izuku, isn't about achieving it, per say, it's about getting through the day. It's the fantasy he falls back on when his life is shit and horror and he has no real hope left, that dream of being a hero, of standing next to the greatest of all, All Might! It's not a goal, it's a mental escape.
All of this, of course, rapidly gets complicated for him when he meets the real All Might, who in the span of a few hours both destroys and then reaffirms said dream.
Shigaraki, on the other hand, is a completely different animal. It was complicated, at first, since we didn't actually know what AFO's end game was with him; he did seem to be pushing for him to be an actual successor there for awhile, and him ending up as insane all-destroyer if said plan failed probably amused AFO as a sort of back-up plan.
The thing is with Tomura, though, is he was never meant to actually stand on his own two feet and be a villain properly; he was there there to be AFO's vessel, with some snazzy upgrades. Thematically, he's supposed to exact opposite of Pinnochio: rather than a puppet raised to be a real boy, he's a real boy raised to be a puppet.
The reason why he's kind of a clusterfuck of a person, why he doesn't seem to know how to function normally, why he doesn't earn so many of the things he has rather than having them all handed to him, is because doing all those things right, achieving them, means he'd have a stronger sense of self, a will, a foundation to stand on as a person and a human being.
All For One doesn't want that; he doesn't actually want an heir, he wants an NPC, one who will mindlessly say, 'Yes, Sensei', and hand his body over when the time comes.
For almost the entire story, AFO has kept him in a very controlled environment, feeding him only the information he wants to grow his hate, strong and yet unfocused.... and this, admittedly, is where his plan's logic falls apart, because honestly the idea of, 'If I hate hard enough I can hoover up OFA' is kind of nuts in and of itself, and the idea this guy can no longer feel real emotions is a both a cop out and also nuts, but that is the stated logic of the plan.
I cheerfully ignore late-game stuff for my meta when it feels right, because so much of it is bad, but I'm keeping it here because it puts Tomura's entire situation in perspective in a needed way; I've never felt AFO raising him as his actual heir makes sense because, as you've pointed out, Tomura's situation is fucked up and ineffective for just about anything other than random violence and murder, much less a criminal overlord to rule over all crime and bring down society. His raising doesn't work for that... but at the same time, he also put a lot of work into developing Tomura emotionally, which, for a future vessel that he's supposed to inhabit, sounds.... unideal, to say the least. Giving your future body ideas is exactly the reason AFO is in the situation he's in in canon, after all, so it made me wonder; is he actually going to be his heir? Is this not a trick after all?
Trying to figure out what he/Hori was going for with Tomura is something that frustrated me with MHA for the longest time, you can't even imagine.
But, if he has a reason for that, it clicks: the idea behind how convoluted and bizarre Tomura's situation is is that AFO is threading that line; he needs that raw emotion, he needs it to be grown and to fester in on itself, so he can get OFA, which is something he apparently wants so damn bad he's willing to risk control of his future body over (and yet doesn't count for the emotional requirements...? Honestly, this shit sounds like something the Sith would do in Star Wars (and we know he loves Star Wars) (...or maybe Kingdom Hearts; this honestly gives me some real Terra and Xehanort vibes, if done by a fucking amateur), but Hori is trying to explain why the hate is needed without the Force... badly), but he needs a hate that's hollow, so there's no resistance to him.
Think of Tomura like... a bonsai. A bonsai is a fundamentally unnatural thing for a tree to be, but with careful, careful nurturing, and a lot of time and patience, you can get this tiny tree in a shape no real tree would ever grow into. There's no natural way to have a body that is both strong enough in desire to get OFA and pliable enough to be used to house AFO's mind, so AFO decided to make one instead, carefully growing and neutering him, while making sure he stayed within his designs.
TLDR: the whole point of Tomura's everything is he wasn't actually raised to be a person, he was raised to be a mass of unfocused resentment in the shape of a person (which is why I'm inclined to give him a break the way I do no other villain when it comes to questions like, why don't you do literally anything else to achieve your goals, or why don't you approach things from a less aggressive angle, and so on: the man literally doesn't have any context for that kind of thing.)
(I'm going to digress a little here, because I've complained about how late-game Tomura worked, and yet here, I'm saying that it makes sense. Well, that's the thing: broadly, it works. But, with so many things, both in general and in MHA, the devil is in the details.
If the overall goal was always to make Tomura a vessel, than literally his entire arc after AFO's fall, until the War, doesn't make sense, because he was guided into all these situations, left alone to have confrontations and challenges, often in a controlled kind of way... but the thing is, all of those things helped him grow as a person. This is, remember, the exact thing AFO didn't want, and presumably Garaki knew about that.
This begs the question, then: why did it happen? Why did Garaki lead him to fight again Gigantomachia? Why did Tomura have all this time to roam about on his own, largely unsupervised beyond some doctor given objectives, if they didn't want him getting those pesky ideas?
If the goal was to give him hate, give him a stronger body, then yeet AFO into him, then after AFO fell they should have made plans to do that shit right the fuck then. If he needed to be stronger physically, rather than fighting a giant to get a minion, and again, being out and about, lock him in a training room somewhere and say, 'AFO said so'.
Tomura's situation before AFO fell makes sense for the Hate Vessel idea, mostly. Tomura's situation after AFO falls makes sense for the Heir concept. The fact they did development for the heir idea, only to pivot back into the vessel concept out of nowhere, is why it works so badly for me; they developed his story in the wrong way for that to make sense.)
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thedeathwitchescats · 6 months
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I was reading a few quotes from aftg earlier and was reminded that the canon reason drake overpowered andrew was by smashing a beer bottle over his head. I have thoughts. So, idk if yall have ever had a beer bottle smashed over your head, but while yea, it hurts like a bitch, this isnt the movies, your more than likely not gonna pass out. Unless it was like an entire wine bottle or something, your just gonna fall over or lose your footing for a sec. Which means that drake had to either threaten andrew with someone elses safety or drake somehow physically overpowered andrew which I find to be so unrealistic bc andrew is a very buff goalie who regularly works out and boxes. Like, he is characterized as someone who would be very difficult to physically overpower. Which brings me back to the threats, I think that drake had to have threatened andrew in some way to make andrew- I dont want to say cooperative bc thats the wrong word for this scenario, but like, noncombattive??? Idk, you get my point. But either way, they were with the entire group of monsters and considering how worried about Aaron that andrew was im going to assume that drake probably threatened Aaron. Which brings me to a different point. I think the reason andrew was so upset that neil went to evermore to protect andrew was because andrew was doing the same thing for Aaron and he knows how much that hurts and he was mad that someone else did that for him because he is supposed to be the protector.
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fantomechat · 2 months
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Final fest idea future-present-past
I know that a lot of people have said this already but this is what I think they will do/ what I would do.
Future/Present/Past
I know that it sounds backwards but Shiver is def more future and I would switch Frye and Big man but future/past/present sounds worse but that would be the ideal team for me.
Future- 1. next gen, like if the current idols were to have kids, it would be them, or at the very least kids their age. We could see adult donny and shelly, Harmony could be older, this is self indulgent but I would be down for a pearlina child (besides 8). I dont know what the story would be, maybe something to do with the zapfish again but someone new, it could be more about the metro, but idk how that would work exactly. It could also be virtual… idk. 2. Far into the future. Squid sisters, off the hook, deep cut, they are all legendary, but many many many idols have taken their role since then. Captain 3 is nearing the cuttlefish's age. Its a completely new cast with only mentions of long times ago when these idols were in their prime/alive. This woul dbe great for a new species, as octos have been basically fully integrated and not a new group is the minority(the cycle continues and such).
Present- 1. More of what we have. We see all the idols again, maybe not as big but they are all existing, doing something in the world. We would probably see the zapfish get taken again, similar formula but basically what theyve been doing, maybe we get 4 idols, new species maybe? Idk but you get the idea. 2. Same time period, different part of the world. We could have oth world tour mentioned, maybe instead of squids and octos, this city is a whole different species, like we could get sharks or vampire squids, probably in addition to the pre existing squids and octos though. But this would be a great opportunity for more species to be added without having to be like “oh they escaped/ are being integrated” again. The story could be basically anything, it could be something to go with the other species history, or maybe it can play into the second place, like if future wins then it is about planning, if its past then maybe more on the history, but it takes place right around now.
Past- 1. Octarian soldier. I would say squidbeak, but there is only so much you can do with Callie and Marie, you would need to retroactively add a whole agent… yeah. I think this could be sick, we could have to fight inklings, we can have Mariana come back, een some agent 8 references. I think that the goal would either be to get out of the octarian society or like be an elite. Maybe this is where they could make choices you make change the story… but that might be a bit ambitious for splatoon. I can still hope. 2. The past past. Like og squidbeak splatoon. You are in a war with the octarians, or inklings. Maybe we get 2 story modes. Who knows. But this takes place long before the squid sisters, gramps isnt even a father yet. We could see how they got to the separation, we would have skinny jude. The hud would be kind of bornign but I would king of pokemon legends arceus, we could wven have other characters ancestors show up and stuff. 3. Like before inklings and octolings were fully humanoid. Like this is crazy unrealistic and they would be starting from scratch but it would be sick for them to be like “ok we are going back to prehistoric times, no new hair styles, no current gear, you dont even have the news, you have to read everything on scrolls.” like that would probably sink the franchise but you have to admit, it they really went through with it that takes balls
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lifeonmarz-blog · 1 year
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Jupiter through the houses Pt. 2
Jupiter in the 7th- Slow Downnnn. Ya might be extreme in your behavior and very hardheaded. These people love bragging and that attracts alot of people that want to take from them but even if they not bragging the way they carry themselves makes people jealous. You could have no more than the next person but for some reason people think you do. They can have alot of secret enemies. Hella self centered lol. Very territorial, kinda reminds me of a taurus stubborn forsure but will defend their loved ones to the death. Only they can bully the people they love, dont let you try it. They may also feel like they have a point to prove or have to put in extra work to be treated the same.
Jupiter in the 8th- They want a big family and want to do it differently then how they were raised. They hold grudges really bad and need to learn how to forgive people and move on. These type of people can be completely different from their parents. Learning from their mistakes and choosing to do better for their own kids. This definitely isn't a easy one but the patience and perseverance that is learned here is truly admirable.
Jupiter in the 9th- These people know how to blend in where they need to. When it comes to making difficult decisions they procrastinate real bad. Their more cerebral and not as conscious to how their actions effect other people. Practicing being more in your body and not in your head so much would really do them well. They ignore their own feelings alot. Super prone to burnout its like they punish themselves with stress.
Jupiter in the 10th- Public figures vibes foresureee. i bet you wanna be famous. Yall love the spotlight and survive off adoration. You hate feeling misunderstood and will clarify something in a heartbeat. Money hungry forsure and might have a hard time being grateful because you feel such a responsibility on your shoulders like you never have enough. You either put people in position to receive more materially or someone has put you in position to receive more but its probably both. Be cautious not to use people for what they can offer you. A lot of times you feel like you receive no real benefit from the hard work you do.
Jupiter in the 11th- With this placement its like people want you to prove yourself all the time. They wanna see you work hard before they'll help you but once people feel like you've ''proved'' yourself you waste no time and have your foot in every door. You gotta learn how to chill out and not be so defensive you dont have to be so impulsive and defend everything you say or feel. At times you can feel like you have no control over your life and and everything bad happens to you.
Jupiter in the 12th- You may have felt like you had overbearing or very demanding parents. Like a part of childhood was taken away from you. You give yourself unrealistic expectations then beat yourself up if you dont accomplish them. Things could be going downhill for a while before something extreme has to happen for you to acknowledge it. Im not gonna lie this placement is a lil sad because of how critical you are of yourself. You dont have to deal with everything on your own. Talk to people, reach out when you need help.
-luv of marz
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phoebified · 11 months
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while i do agree the skinnier body type looks silly and sort of american girl doll like (WITH ALL THE OTHER BODIES HAVING THE SAME DAMN ISSUE), every single person i've seen go on tyrades about the new bodies ONLY ever focuses on that, never the issues with the fat or chubby body types too, and their suggestions are always ten million times worse, with impossibly tiny waists, wide hips, big asses, and even facetune applied for some reason. this is worse. this is as close to yucky unrealistic societal ideal you can get, and i dont give a shit what adult SSO player "actually looks like that" (0 way every person doing this looks like that), kids dont need body dysmorphia for something so obviously naturally unachievable. i'm not saying dont be curvy or dont be skinny, im saying dont be unrealistic, which a lot of the suggested edits ARE, and dont be so petulant about how the skinny one needs to be PERFECT and totally ignore the other body types. i think all of them look 10 when i think they should probably be mid to late teens in appearance, to match the other characters. probably changing the shoulders and head ratio and something around the hips slightly would drastically improve how the characters look. also i know some people have been bitching about there being not enough light skintones specifically, which is CRAZY. clinically insane. there are not enough skintones PERIOD. white people get a range but there isn't a single one accurate for me as an asian person, just one that could maybe kinda sorta work. there's only one very dark skintone. One. so much of the shit i've seen about how the characters SUCK is all from skinny and/or white people who are so used to being the norm that this change feels like the end of the world to them. yeah, the models need a lot of work, but all the criticism i've seen has been AGONIZINGLY centered on being skinny and/or white. IMO these people need to act their age, since they're all adults pitching fits, and start giving constructive and NORMAL feedback. "make us look like roly poly oly's mom" is literally less than nothing on the helpfulness front. i also think sso needs to keep working on the models, bc they proved they can, so... what's up
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tabbyrocks · 8 months
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odd mha ships i dont like and why
dabihawks/ hotwings
they hate eachother. dabi tried to kill him, and theres just literally no chemistry between them. if they ever DID get into a realationship it would be horribly unhealthy. also i think dabi is too obsessed with his dad to want a relationship. (hawks idolizing his abuser does not help)
endevorhawks
absolutely not. this is basically a proship due to the 20-30 year age gap and it being abuser x abused. if you like this i hope you get hit by a fucking car you nasty freak.
twicehawks
didn't realize this was a ship untill recently. gross. sure, they were buddy buddy but ONLY because hawks was trying to get info out of him. hawks liked him as a person / thought he was better then the rest of the villans but twice was set in his ways, so it would never work. also hawks like actually killed him.
bakudeku
literally VOMITS oh my god i hate bakudeku. bakugo is horribly written and the ship itself is so unrealistic. bakugo bullied and abused izuku for 10 YEARS STRAIGHT. TEN YEARS. even with bakugo's "character development" its still really bad. the closest i can see them being is pals.
monobaku
i think this might actually be worse then bakudeku on a logistic level. they both DESPISE eachother. bakugo canonly thinks he's the spawn of Satan. please just let enemies be enemies dear lord.
kiribaku
as much as i hate any sort of ship with bakugo involved this might be the most tame one on this list. i just don't like it. bakugo is overly mean to ALL of his friends and they really only have a strong mutual respect for eachother. also he uses him as a human punching bag just because he can harden. keep your hands to yourself bakugo jesus christ,,
todobaku
this one just makes me sad. bakugo doesn't want a single thing to do with todoroki but todoroki is like so heavily autistic that HE GENUENLY THINKS THEY ARE FRIENDS???? like it hurts me to my core please stop talking to bakugo todoroki im begging.
monoma x tamaki (i dont know the shipname for this and i dont care enough to find out)
I can't believe i even have to mention this one but i had a very interesting situation back when i was active on twitter where ALL of my mutuals thought that this shit was morally okay and i had to block all of them. thats a minor x an adult. i thought we established that freshman x seniors is fucking gross what is WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE. "oh but its only a two year age gap-" WRONG!!! its a 2 and a half year age gap. people seem to forget that teenage brains develop really fucking fast that even though the age gap is only 2 and a half years the MATURITY GAP IS HUGE. also, normal fucking 18+ yr olds DO NOT like dating people under 17 (some of them ive talked to, like my brother, said that even 17 is iffy and heavily depends on how mature they are). also, if we completely ignore the age + maturity gap, their personalities clash. tamaki would probably be fucking bat shit terrified of monoma due to how eccentric he is. also they havn't interacted in canon ONCE. this one is also basically a proship.
Bonus:
togachako
I used to hate this ship because i thought it would just be super toxic, but the recent chapters of the manga really won me over. its just the build up to that point was honestly ass, like we went from 20% to 100% WAY too fast.
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