evan rosier headcanons under the cut
Twins w pandora
He has a chinchilla (its name is dusty, barty helped name it)
He's rlly good friends w remus
In a book club w lily, remus,dorcas and regulus
He's Canadian
So he kinda had a very slight American accent
Sleeps and listens to music on long car rides
Knows Canadian French
Asexual
either gay or bi
Poc
has a tattoo of "bcjr" on his neck or shoulder (barty has a matching one of "Rosie")
Would love MARINA and Florence + the Machines
Was probably more of an ABBA fan then a queen fan
lily got him into music like ABBA and Remus got him into music like David Bowie
Would also love Arctic Monkey
Would love makeup
Has those star eyeliner stamps and he absolutely rocks them
Bigender (stole this hc from someone can't remember who at that moment)
probally goes by he/they pronouns
Pandora and Evan steal each other's clothes sm that they don't know who's is who's at this point
So ppl are like " wasn't pandora wearing that the other day?" and evan will be like "idk maybe?" And vise versa
Would love Greek mythology
Has heterochromia and his eyes are blue and green so he's is looking at u like 🔵_🟢 (O_O) (pandora also has eyes like that)
"you have heterophobia in ur eyes" "...you mean heterochromia?" "no" (barty and evan)
i feel like he would be able to play like 3 instruments and would love love love music sm
Has so. Many. Ear. Piercings.
Lace and fishnet gloves
RINGS
Evan, pandora, Dorcas, regulus, and Barty all wear rings and they all js like share rings
Would love fairy tale retellings
100% read song of Achilles and sobbed
His parents are like really that mean js very strict and they don't really give him enough privacy and it's suffocating
Has sensory overloads sometimes and he will just cling to Barty or Pandora bc they both make him feel safe when it's too much
Also has panic attacks
Says things like "I wanna kms" and ppl think he's joking but he's really not
Baggy clothes
layers his clothes a lot
had like three sweatshirts/sweaters that he LOVES
eating disorder (idk which one but he definitely has one)
Constantly has a headache
Is actually rlly su!sidal but he's only told like 2 ppl (probably Pandora and reg or barty)
Either never gets sick or gets sick every month (depends on the year)
Doesn't like talking abt his problems
Will not ask for help unless he has basically given up
Is rlly smart
He's like everything smart but doesn't really care abt math or science
That one kid who's reading and not paying attention the entire class and then gets an A on every test
He's parents don't really care about grades but he does and he gets really stressed abt grades
Would 100% be that person that you wouldn't think would be a feminist and then someone makes a rude comment abt women and he would go off on them
Very pretty
Always cold. Always
Would have loved all the movies that Millie Bobby Brown is in (Enola Holmes, and Damsel mainly)
Would love ppl doing his nails (even though he's good at doing it himself)
doc martins
Would have converse and would draw on them
Has so many books (both barty and evan rant to each other abt the books they read)
Would have adhd but more of the not able to focus side
He's nail polish is almost always chipped bc they pick at it w/o even realizing he's doing it
would have so many bracelets
Hates silence but hates loud noise even more
Had earbuds in 24/7
"Look at the moon! :0" no matter what phase the moon is in (does the same thing w the sky)
Would get sooo happy when ever he was in a place where u can clearly see the stars at night bc "omg look, you can see the stars! Their so pretty!!!"
They're so energetic but also so laid back
Pretty much all or nothing for everything (emotions, activities, relationship etc.)
Really good at drawing
normally types in all lowercase so he doesn't come off as intimating
Evan and pandora probably made fun of the pure blood stereotypes so much
(I've made by point abt this hc a lot but I'mma say it again) : Evan and regulus arguing over the pronouncing of different French words bc Evan is Canadian French and Regulus is European French lol
He's an introvert you can't tell me otherwise
Was almost put into ravenclaw bc he was arguing w the sorting hat and it was like "ok valid points, ur probably a ravenclaw" and then Evan told the hat to go fuck itself and it put him in Slytherin 💀
Definition of a keyboard smash idk how to explain it
Would have loved Pinterest
wow this is really long. I'mma make one of these for Peter later :)
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This was entirely tangential to this post from @utilitycaster which is why this is its own post, but the tags made me think about what feels most compelling about Liliana to me, and it's really because there's such an interesting approach to redemption in terms of the sunk cost fallacy to be had there.
There have been plenty of comparisons between Liliana and Essek, but I don't think they're really situations that can be compared. Essek had done one horrible thing (that was of relevence to the story; it is implied that he's taken other actions that he feels were wrong, but we don't know what those entail nor do the Nein care enough to ask, so per narrative convention, they do not matter for analysis) and was only still involved in it to the extent that he couldn't take it back, so to survive he had to continue covering his tracks. But he was also incentivized to otherwise act in alignment with the group that was not those on behalf of whom he had made terrible choices, because he was still living in the Dynasty, and as such wasn't actively perpetuating those actions beyond the cover up.
Liliana on the other hand is acting with the Vanguard and has been furthering if not personally committing atrocities on their behalf for a number of years, continuing to the present. Like Essek, she believes her involvement in the cause to be a difficult choice that was made for noble reasons, and now can't see a way out. But she is also relieved to be told to stay, though at the point that they discuss her leaving, she is alone and outside the immediate range of contact or oversight from the Vanguard. It seems reasonable that she could disappear with a decent headstart, and perhaps become untraceable quickly enough to be safe from anyone following. With this context, returning to the Vanguard with the intention of feeding information to the opposition feels like the riskier choice, but crucially it is the devil she knows.
I actually liken this more to Cassandra de Rolo than Essek. Cassandra was manipulated against her brother by the Briarwoods, but this was also spurred by having watched Percy seemingly leave her for dead. There are legitimate reasons why the Briarwoods, as the people who rescued her and then kept her alive for many years, are the easier option in which to place her trust. She knows what she's getting from that vantage point and how to handle it. She doesn't inherently have faith that someone she only knew as a young and helpless child, who ran from the hardships she's faced, would have the strength or willingness to do what she has found necessary for survival.
I think that Liliana's actions are more willful, not least because she was not a child nor in mortal peril when she joined the Vanguard, but she sees herself as having made difficult choices when only faced with difficult options, and I do think they have been difficult. She didn't want to leave her family; she doesn't want to hurt the young Ruidusborn under her care; she is probably genuinely sorry that innocent people were considered a necessary sacrifice for what she sees as the greater good. It is psychologically taxing to feel as though one is always picking between bad options, which is a significant contributing factor for why people buy into a sunk cost for so long. And over time, those hard decisions become easier, because you know what to expect from the outcome. Though Liliana is well aware that she might be killed for a misstep among the Vanguard, she already knows how to act to maintain their favor, but how she might be received on Exandria by those fighting the Vanguard, even with the Hells vouching for her, is anyone's guess.
This is a very real reason why people remain in cults and struggle to push back against this kind of conditioning: because the decision to leave feels more immediately perilous than the decision to stay. (On a certain level making these kinds of choices and actions habitual is a fundamental basis behind a lot of military conditioning.) And if you are acting in the interests of your own survival, but that survival comes at the cost of that of countless others who have not, in fact, made any threat or harm against you to begin with, then is the nature of your survival morally defensible?
This analysis isn't a question of whether Liliana will commit to her role as double agent and turn fully against the Vanguard, or even which one of these is a "better" story; this is about what the story might say if she doesn't. Yes, she might commit to a different path than the one she's on and make an effort to redeem herself, but it is also a perfectly coherent and interesting story if she doesn't.
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I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!
Okay so honestly I have been very very inconsistent over the years with just disappearing for periods of time due to various things 😂 So it probably seemed pretty normal to most people.
But it felt different on my side, so I'm excited to be back in business.
I took a month long hiatus! 31 days of not drawing digital art.
Its not something I talk about on here? But I've been suffering from some serious long term Art Burnout for.... a really really long time. Long enough that I should've taken a break probably years ago. It finally got so bad that I could barely draw. I was scared to do it (cause it always looked "bad" in my eyes [i'll come back to that]) and doing it was exhausting and disheartening.
I talked it over with somebody and realized that the fear and anger and frustration I felt towards my own artwork was uh. Not Normal or Healthy. And I finally committed to taking a real break for once.
I still drew a little bit by hand? Traditional art has always felt like it has lower stakes for me (i don't often share it online, and sometimes I don't even share it with friends) so I did some of that when I felt like it. But Digital art was completely off the table.
I had put such an immense pressure on myself to make my digital art perfect, to make as much of it as quickly as possible to satisfy something. It wasn't fun anymore. I'm proud of what i've made over the years! But for a long time now the stuff I've been making was made while hating every second of making it. With some rare exceptions.
I hated my art! It was a combination of Perfectionism, taking in too many external expectations, and the burnout. If you hate doing something its kinda hard to love it even when you want too lol. It wasn't "Bad" in the sense that the quality was low and it was ugly! It was "Bad" in the sense that it was unhealthy for me to keep doing it at that point in time.
I'm glad to report though, that with my hiatus officially over as of Wednesday last week: I am once again. In Love. With doing art, and being an artist :)
I put off taking a break for years cause I was scared that taking a break would mean that I would never achieve all the things I wanted to do with art. I was scared it was a stupid and lazy thing to do that would mean I'd never achieve my dreams. And Also even though I kinda hated drawing, I also loved making art. Its a weird duality that I can't even really explain??? I hated it but I also loved it. I wanted it but I also wanted to run from it. It wasn't until I was more mature and had more clarity and insight (and unfortunately also until the problems got worse) that I was finally able to let go of those fears and just do it.
And I'm really really glad I did. It was everything I needed. And I hope to strike a better balance in the future with art. Taking more breaks when I need them, or just when other things have my attention like reading or Video games (Some star rail got played during this time xD)
From the outside things probably aren't going to be that different?? At this point I don't really have any sure plans to post anything I've been drawing since my Hiatus ended. I might or I might not xD I'm still a hobbyist artist taking things at her own pace, but I hope that it shows how much happier I am :)
Whumptober 2023 is being officially put to rest by this post btw! I was in major burnout when that event started, and I'm ready to just, move on from all the past expectations I'd shoved on my shoulders. If I feel like filling any of the prompts or going back to any of the ideas I'd come up for it I will! But I'm not going to worry about doing it unless the desire sets in.
Thanks to everybody who's been so kind to me throughout my time on here as an artist! Ya'lls tags and screaming and kind words, the fanfic, the asks and the responses? Its been fantastic :) You guys have made me laugh, smile, and cry tears of joy. I hope from here that things only get better and sweeter! And if I have bad days again, that's okay too.
Here's to 2024 and whatever it may bring ya'll :D 🎉🎉✨✨🧡💜
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