#this is why all my faves are jerks or jerk-adjacent

[trillgutterbug]

Fic Writer Questions!

tagged by @palamedessextus 😊 thanks friend!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

64! only five more to the magic number ayyyyy and then i’m legally obligated to never post another one.

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

289,575 apparently??? which seems way way way higher than i ever would have guessed, wow. who knew!

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

31 on ao3, although that’s lumping, eg, all marvel subfandoms together. but i have a ridiculous amount of wips in all kinds of other fandoms that i haven’t/won’t post, soooo.... more than that! and i don’t want to list them all bc that’d be a long boring read!

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

it serenely disdains to destroy us, a magnus archives fic that, i somewhat vainly note, has been orbiting in the top few top kudosed fics in the tag since i posted it womp womp.

concerning flight, because we all thirsty for thor/loki+gender and i for one support us.

untitled porny snippet (yes that’s actually what it’s called), because same as above. (i see u, kudos-to-comment ratio and i aint mad but.... i see u. all you dirty birds out there shamefully yet silently jerking it. kudos to YOU.)

an experiment in posthumous subsistence, a batman/joker zombie au i wrote fucking TEN YEARS AGO ALMOST. why???? why is this fic so popular?? i’m barely a good writer now and i sure as shit wasn’t one a decade ago! the terrible title alone should disqualify it from being read, but i guess the people want what they want. and what they want is batman and joker handcuffed together, trying to escape the zombie apocalypse  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

all good things, some stucky hydra trash party-adjacent smut regarding piercings. i stand by this one 100%, it deserves every kudo(s?) tbh.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i do, depending on the comment! i don’t think comments like “loved this!” / “thanks for writing!” are written with the intent to receive a response (or at least, when i write them on other people’s fics, i certainly don’t expect one). they’re like an extra kudo(s?), and i appreciate them a lot, but they’re not really an invitation to Discuss. whereas if someone clearly has put a lot of thought into a comment, or asked a question, or made some observations that i jive with, or just seems like they want to engage, then hell yeah i jump in there. love that shit. 

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i guess arguably thine own self, which is some hydra husbands abo. laugh all you want, it’s one of my fave of all my fics lmao. probably specifically bc of the unpleasant/open ending.

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

probably moderation is a memory! since it, unlike 99% of all my other stuff, isn’t just total smut, and the whole point of writing it was to wallow as deep as possible in the sauce of giddy teenage infatuation, it got the opportunity to have an actual emotional arc (more or less). furthermore i could not possibly bring myself to break johnny lawrence’s tender little heart ever, that would hurt me far more than it would hurt him.

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

i only realised while answering this question that apparently.... no i don’t write crossovers! which is not at all a deliberate choice, i guess a compelling enough one just hasn’t occurred to me yet! 

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

shockingly no! by some accidental miracle i’ve managed to fly under the radar so far, despite some of the really buckwild stuff i’ve posted. however, considering some of the stuff i’m probably ABOUT to post.... that clean track record might soon come to an end lmao.

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

lmao. uhhhh. almost exclusively, and i guess??? all kinds? this is clearly a question composed by someone who does not write smut.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of, and i wouldn’t really care if i did. 

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

yeah i think a few....? a number of people have asked anyway and i always say yes, so probably there’s at least one floating around out there somewhere.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have! just once, and we really made it count. it’s called a reptile dysfunction, which should tell you all you need to know. 

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

thorki, probably. i always have and always will come back to it, no matter what. it’s got such a ferociously timeless staying power and so much potential variation, i don’t think i could ever get bored of it, regardless of what level of marvel-exhaustion i might feel at a given time, or what tropes, kinks, or stage of literary pretension i’m at. truly the oh tee pee. 

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

ohhhhh all 836575927 of them, but. there’s this one thorki fic i started almost ten years ago as an experiment with a new-to-me style, which turned out over the intervening years to become my main style, and looking back on that fic, which for many years was a touchstone of writing-to-aspire to for me, it’s actually Not Very Good lol. but i still love the core concept, which is a canon divergence berserker thor au, but not only is it a somewhat inaccessible (admittedly less so since the deadpool movies came out, which was a hilarious pipe dream back when i started writing it) x-force comics crossover, but i wrote myself into a bunch of corners and have yet to dig up the energy to write myself back out of them! i go and reread it every year or so and think “hmm... maybe now...” but tbh it’s just not really good enough to bother! perhaps someday i’ll repurpose the best elements of it into something new.

16) What are your writing strengths?

man, it’s so hard to say. in much the same way that you can spend hours every day staring at yourself in a mirror, yet be utterly incapable of picking yourself out of a lineup, i spend a lot of time eyeballing my writing, but stepping back it seems like a chaotic mass of nonsense with few cohesive throughlines. i’m good at writing smut, i know that much! and in that vein, i think i am good at smut bc i am very good at committing to the bit, as it were. getting into the nitty gritty of experience and sensation (physical or emotional) and rendering largely abstract internal concepts in fairly comprehensible ways. i think my prose is quite decent on a sentence level too.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

utterly incapable of finishing anything! or plotting anything! can’t mange a cohesive emotional arc! write myself into overly structured corners or out onto a vast plain with no structure in sight! all the macro elements of storytelling totally elude me, which is very frustrating when i have all this tasty fleshed out micro-level character stuff, but no narrative skeleton upon which to drape it.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?   don’t! unless you are very sure you know what you’re doing, and the other language bits are a) very few, b) easily contextually understood, and c) actually adding something other than a weird flex that you know google translate exists.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

11yo me wrote spock/kirk/janice rand and thought she invented the concept of a threesome. brand been stronk since day one 🤘. (the vulcan salute is right next to the devil horns in my emoji list, so....)

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

i love the (ongoing) better with you series very much, not least because i’m still absolutely flabbergasted that i wrote something that long. i think it’s actually pretty good all things considered and it’s very dear to me on many many levels. but the fic that i just viscerally adore, that i love the style of, and that i had such a transcendent, invigorating, organic Experience writing, is temper its strength, adding honey until quite cold, which is a terror fic with the inexplicable pairing of edward little/hartnell, featuring crossdressing and gender stuff. it just burst out of me fully formed one day and i don’t think i’ve managed to top it yet! 

lowkey tagging @lingua-mortua @pitcherplant @kaasknot @froggy-babyy @deputychairman @nomercyonlytears @clockheartedcrocodile

#writing meme #whoops it's 3:30am #excellent life choices courtesy of: yours truly

[jcmorrigan]

Nergal

1: sexuality headcanon: While I think his attraction to Sis is the most important aspect of his sexuality and I don't think it really matters much to pin a label on him besides LOVES HIS WIFE, I don't really think he's straight. But I can't say what his label exactly is. It's just. Not straight. He's a god (sort of) and I hardly like to ascribe to any deity or deity-adjacent figure as 100% straight.

2: otp: NERGAL/SIS FOR LIFE. THIS IS ONE OF THE FEW CANON PAIRINGS THAT JUST MAKES MY HEART GO BOOM

3: brotp: Used to be Discord, but I've since kinda gone like "Discord would return to hardcore chaos while Nergal would simmer down trying to interact with social situations in more appropriate ways," and anyway, I just wrote a segment in my crossover fic where he ends up adopting XION and it's now one of my favorite things, so I guess Xion from Kingdom Hearts is my Nergal broTP. Think about it! She feels lost, she wants friends, she would eventually figure out she's a "monster," and you know who knows all about that? NERGAL.

4: notp: Grim I guess. That just - I don't like it. I can see why people might like it though

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: I think if you got him away from the caustic environment of Endsville and had him just in a new community with his family, he'd mellow out a lot on the "evil," but at the same time, he's still VERY morbid and a little bit of a jerk, so he tries his best to make friends but you have to have a really open mind about him. He means well, but he WILL try to infodump on you about deadly plagues that have no known cure.

6: one way in which I relate to this character: feeling like a lonely loser *cough*

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: The one scene where his skin gets ripped off by the dog and he has a separate layer of skin underneath that clashes horribly with the rest of his palette (listen, I am ENDEARED to the thought that he could have abs or a soft stomach depending on the time period of canon, but the DUAL SKIN TONE IS SO DISSONANT, Rachel stop reading into a visual cartoon gag 2k21)

8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: Both. Both is good.

#nergal #the grim adventures of billy and mandy

[wordsfromthesol]

The Private Eye

Author: @wordsfromthesol Taglist: @ghost-brocolli Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader Summary: AU where the batfam are detectives/cops, except Jason who is always the rebel, and is a private investigator. You are a vigilante and keep running into a certain P.I., a P.I. that’s a childhood friend. Warnings:  Language, violence, injuries, ya’know all my faves Word Count: 2.6k A/N: This one got a bit long…whoops. Anyways, this was an AU requested by an anon! Enjoyyy. P.S. Y/H/N = your hero name

You had just finished tying up the last of the arms dealers when you heard someone outside. Grappling up, you watched and waited in the shadows. A familiar face crept through the door, you chuckled to yourself once you realized it was Jason Todd, and not another arms dealer. Swinging over to an adjacent window you whistled at the unsuspecting private investigator. You watched as his head jerked in the direction of the noise. As your eyes met, you gave him a wink and slipped out the window. It was interesting to see the Wayne ward in anything except a suit, since the only place you really saw him were the various banquets and galas his father made him attend.

**

Jason’s eyes went to the ground below where he saw eight men tied together. He let out an exasperated sigh before dialing his brother.

“Dick, they did it again” he blurted out before his brother had a chance to answer the phone.

“That vigilante?”

“No, the ice cream man.”

“…Unnecessary Jay, how many?”

“2…4…6…8. Eight and a mountain of guns.”

“Alright, I’ll get Tim and head over. He needs to get out from in front of that computer anyways. Send me your location…and don’t touch anything!” Dick didn’t know why he bothered with the forewarning, he knew his brother would likely touch everything.

Jason’s eyes darted around the warehouse, he knew he would only have a few minutes to look around before his brothers came stumbling in and taking all the evidence with them. He noticed a door and made his way towards it. Picking the lock was child’s play. Jason sifted through the various papers and file cabinets, snapping pictures of anything he thought was important. He silently cheered as it seemed that he interrupted you before your search of the warehouse had begun. Though his celebration was cut short when he heard a car engine cut off. Jason frantically threw the papers back in the cabinets and rushed out the door just in time to greet his brothers.

“Dick, Tim. Lovely day we’re having, isn’t it?”

“Right, because that doesn’t make you sound suspicious at all…” Tim rolled his eyes as he proceeded to head in the direction Jason ran from.

“Well you boys got it from here…have fun!” Jason shouted out behind him as he darted for the front door.

“Ja –” Dick’s words were cut off with the slam of the door.

**

You watched and waited on a nearby rooftop, you never really trusted the cops. You were almost ready to call the police yourself, when finally, a patrol car pulled up to the warehouse and two young detectives got out. Satisfied that they could handle it from here, you turned to leave…but movement caught the corner of your eye. The P.I. was in an awful hurry to get out of there, so you decided to follow him. You watched through his window as he sifted eagerly through photographs, it was almost endearing how excited he was. Hours passed and he still sat on the floor gazing at the various pictures.

Alright, this is getting me nowhere. I’ll come back later to try and catch a glimpse at those photos.

You headed home and tried to get some rest. Something kept gnawing at the back of your mind, and around 3 am you decided to check in on Jason. Maybe he was asleep and you could see what was so enthralling about those photographs. After slipping on your costume you made your way back to the apartment. The entire building was dark, so you slipped in through the window. After a quick sweep, you found the apartment empty. Where on earth would he have gone so late at night. That’s when you noticed the notes scrawled out beside the photos. Another warehouse? Reality hit you, you had missed one. This idiot went out to try and stop another supply of weapons. You dashed out the window, sprinting towards the location. I hope he fucking called his brothers.

You were relieved to arrive at the warehouse and hear silence. Either he hasn’t been caught or he’s already dead. You circled around the building, scanning for the best possible entrance, when you noticed a shadowed figure on the roof. What the fuck is he thinking. You joined him on the roof and clasped your hand around his mouth.

“What to enlighten me on your genius plan here buddy?” You whisper screamed at the man.

With annoyance in his eyes, he pried your hand from his face. “Unlike you, I’m strictly on information gathering…not that I wouldn’t enjoy bashing in some of their faces…”

You glared at him, not believing his excuse for a second.

“Alright judgey, you are ruining my recon here. I was hired to do a job, and I intend to do it. If you would ever get out of my damn way.”

“Me? In your way?! Are you kidding me?” A bullet whorled passed you and you realized your voice had gotten way above a whisper. “Shit. Just stay down, okay?” You reached for your grapple gun and secured it on the roof. Just as you were about to jump Jason latched himself to your side and the two of you tumbled down into the center of the warehouse.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” You screamed as you pushed him towards the wall, attempting to block him from the oncoming slaughter.

“You’re on something if you thought I was just going to sit on the roof.”

“Just do me a favor, and don’t die.” You called after him, as you sprinted towards the nearest thug.

**

You were pleasantly surprised at how well Jason could hold his own, not that he could ever know you felt that way. And he did get a nice bullet to the shoulder as a reminder to not follow you into the battlefield. You waltzed over to him, slumped to the floor grasping at his shoulder.

“See this?” You pointed dramatically to his shoulder. “This is what happens when you don’t follow my instructions.

“Well how do you know that bullet wouldn’t have hit you if I wasn’t there?”

You shrugged. “I’ve had worse.” Bending down, you took out your knife and cut off the bottom of his shirt. Before Jason could react, you tied the fabric around the wound. “You may want to go to the hospital so they can take that bullet out.”

“Yeah lemme roll up to the hospital in a now crop top.”

“Eh, it works…you call your brothers yet, or should I?”

Jason rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone. “Hey Dick…”

“What did you do?”

Jason’s voice went up several octaves as he proceeded to respond, “What…why would you assume that I did something?”

“Jason…”

“Alright, there’s another warehouse…the vigilante may or may not have been involved. Some people may or may not have been shot…I may or may not be one of those people.”

“What the fuck, Jay.” Jason quickly hung up the phone before his older brother could berate his recklessness. After sending the coordinates to his brother, Jason looked up at you. “Alright, get me out of here before Dick shows up. I do not need to see his reaction to all this.”

You rolled your eyes but motioned for him to follow.

**

It had been days since your last encounter with Jason, but you hit a wall with the ring of arms dealers and something in the back of your mind was telling you he knew more than he let on. You crept through the streets, making your way to his building. You couldn’t decide if it was a good thing or not when you approached the building and noticed the living room illuminated. Peering through the window, you didn’t see any evidence of life. Maybe he accidentally left it on? After a few minutes, you carefully pried open the window and made your way inside. Pictures and notes were scattered about, just as before. Your mind got lost processing all the information, both new and old, and you didn’t hear the front door open.

“Are you kidding me…” A voice echoed behind you. You swung around to see Jason holding a bag of food.

“Heyyy Jayyy…”

“Jay?” His brow furrowed with confusion as his eyes darted towards the evidence he had compiled on the arms dealers. “Are you seriously trying to sabotage my case?”

“What?! No! I swear!” You made your way to him.

“Get the fuck out. Now.”

“Jason, I just –”

“NOW”

You scrambled out the door before he further lost his temper. Thankfully, you took enough pictures of his notes to determine the gangs next move on your own. After sprawling out the information in a similar fashion, you combed over the data until the puzzle pieces began to fit together.

“HA!” You exclaimed…to absolutely no one at all, as a pattern in their shipments seemed to develop. Two days. The next one is in two days and I bet this idiot is trying to go there by himself.

You spent the next two days scoping out the warehouse and avoiding Jason, who seemed to be doing the same thing. Delivery day had finally arrived. You sat perched on a nearby rooftop. Though you were watching the trucks pulled into the warehouse, your eyes kept drifting to Jason’s hiding spot. You didn’t want to impede whatever he was doing, but at the same time the thugs needed to be stopped and he needed to not get hurt in the process.

Moments later, it seemed you jinxed the unsuspecting P.I., as two dealers were moving quickly in his direction. Fuck. You leapt down from your hiding spot and ran to his side.

As you came into his line of vision he harshly mouthed, “Seriously?!”

Ignoring his frustration, you shoved him further into the bushes and stood up, making yourself even more visible to approaching men.

“Y/H/N IS HERE!” You heard one of them shout as you raced towards them, giving them no time to take aim. Once the two men were down you shot a glare in Jason’s general direction, a warning to stay hidden…one he did not heed.

Making your way into the warehouse, you counted 10 more bodies, all of which were armed and waiting for you.

“Boys, boys. Can’t we settle this like adults?” You were just trying to buy yourself time to think of a plan. A plan that preferably didn’t involve 10 guns pointed in your direction. As the scenarios played in your mind and nonsensical sarcasm flowed from your mouth. It was interrupted by an explosion on the other side of the warehouse. This distraction allowed you to take out the nearby thugs and race to cover.

Scanning the room, you created a plan, a plan that was almost instantly destroyed as you watch Jason Todd vault over a case of guns and punch one of the remaining arms dealers square in the face. Fuck. You took out two more as you sprinted towards Jason.

“What the fuck were you thinking?!”

“That you would’ve been dead without me.”

You glared at him, he was clearly blissfully unaware that he was about to be shot moments ago.

“Likewise Jaybird.”

His face recoiled at the nickname, “Seriously, do I know you?”

You shrugged and bounded towards the last of the men. As they fell to the floor you turned back to Jason and gave a dramatic bow. Just as you ascended your world went black and the vague sound of a gunshot echoed in the background.

**

Jason chuckled to himself as you took your well-deserved bow. Maybe they aren’t as bad as I thought. A blurred figure appeared in the corner of his vision, headed directly for you. As he pulled the gun from his waistband, he began to shout “Y/H/N!” Too little too late, you were on the floor in an instant. Before the man could take another step, Jason shot. He raced to your side, elevating your head in his lap.

“Y/H/N?” He waited for a response. Nothing. “Fuck this.” He tore off your helmet-esque mask so he could further evaluate the damage. “Y/N?” No no no…Jason ripped his phone from his pocket and dialed Dick.

“Dick. It’s Y/N. Y/H/N is Y/N. She’s hurt bad.” Jason rattled off his location and hung up the phone without waiting on a response.

“Y/N…why?”

Your eyes fluttered as your mind faded in and out of consciousness. Was your mask gone? How did Jay know? “Couldn’t…hurt…my little Jaybird…”

**

You woke up in an unfamiliar and secluded room. Where the fuck… You slowly rose and took in your surroundings. They didn’t seem threatening. Just as you were attempting to stand, that ever-familiar face walked in the room. Jason leapt towards you and put a firm hand on your knee, preventing you from moving.

“Not uh. Doctor said no standing.”

“Doctor?” You memory was still a bit hazy. “Why…what happened?”

“Y/N/N, you were hurt…there was one you didn’t see.”

Your eyes widened as the memories came flooding back. You were here, in a hospital gown…“How many know?”

“That’s what you’re worried about, seriously?!” Jason threw up his hands in exasperation. “God, I know we haven’t been as close lately, but how could you not tell me?”

“Jason, how many?”

Jason let out a sigh, “Just me and Dick.”

A breath of relief left your chest, “I couldn’t put you in danger. And I don’t think you would have approved.”

“I could’ve helped.” Jason seemed disappointed that you hadn’t entrusted him with this secret.

“Jay, the only time we talk anymore is when someone decides to throw some fundraiser that we both are obligated to attend. When did you even expect me to tell you? Look at the shoes on that one, oh by the way I’m Y/H/N?”

Jason shied away, remembering why he distanced himself from you. “I love you” he mumbled into the wall. You were sure you’d heard him incorrectly.

“I’m pretty sure I’m still concussed, so you are going to have to speak up.”

His head whipped around and he marched towards you, taking your hands. “I fucking love you. And when I pulled that mask off and saw you lifeless in my arms I lost it.”

“I –” You began but were genuinely lost for words. You stared at him trying to confirm that you were indeed awake and this wasn’t some comatose dream. Jason, however, searched your eyes for a response. “You stopped talking to me though…” You finally managed.

“I didn’t think you would want me.”

Your face contorted with confusion as you rapidly blinked in his direction. “Seriously, Jay?” He looked down and fiddled with your fingers. You pulled one of your hands from his grasp and laid it on his face. “You’re an idiot.” Drawing his face towards your own you pressed a kiss to his lips before resting your head on his shoulder. As you began to drift back into a medicated sleep you mumbled out, “My little Jaybird.”

Jason turned and stared at your now sleeping form on his shoulder. He left a gentle kiss on your forehead and gently placed you back on the bed. 

#Jason Todd #jason todd fanfic #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagine #jason todd x you #red hood #red hood fanfic #red hood x reader #red hood imagine #red hood x you #dick grayson #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson imagine #nightwing #nightwing x reader #nightwing imagine #batfamily #batboys #batfam fanfic #batfam x reader #batfam x you #batboys x reader #batboys imagine #batboys x you #batboys fanfic

[starbuck]

After maaany years I can usually guess who my fave is gonna be: usually a main-adjacent devious jerk of a man who does crimes, scams people, and or is pretending to be someone else. So imagine my surprise when the terror handed me Jopson and said, "you love him now, no take backsies"

hhhhhhhhhhh AMAZING!!!!!

Yeah I feel like Armitage is a bit of an outlier to my normal type of favorite character so I guess The Terror scrambled all of our brains lmaoooo

I’m not quite sure I have a “type” honestly but I’ve consistently appreciated characters who are very strong-willed, genuine, and self-assured but they’re actually like... Very Wrong so they do their best but it all comes crashing down in the end anyways. Tozer probably fits this best in The Terror which is why I adore him also. 

#actually relatively distressed to have identified My Type #could i just like normal characters? that would be cool #honestly i'm such a wishy-washy bullshit person that you'd think i'd relate more to characters like that #but i guess i just get something out of watching characters who mean relatively well but don't know what they're doing run themselves #into the ground #and then i get to judge them if i think they're hypocrites lmaoooo #hello this is my son. he's a shitbag hypocrite and i've disowned him for his Crimes. i also love him. no i will not elaborate

[nightglider124]

Prompt/request idea: Beast Boy and Cyborg try to cheer up Starfire.

My fave brotps tied into one. 

Smile

“Dude… has she moved from there like at all today?” Beast Boy whispered,

Cyborg shook his head, “Nope… she’s been sat there since this morning. Silkie has been trying to get her to play fetch with his toy but she ain’t biting.”

Beast Boy’s brows furrowed with sympathy, “Man, I feel so bad for her.”

His robotic friend nodded and sighed, “Same here, grass stain.”

Starfire sat adjacent to the large windows of the main room, staring out with sad, jade eyes. They focused on the waves that would crash on the shore before receding back into the ocean to repeat the exact same thing all over again.

She had been sat there all day, saying little but by the looks of it, thinking a whole lot more.

The boys watched their sister as she continued to stare, miserably at the city around them. It was as if the world knew she was upset; there wasn’t even the slimmest ray of sunshine today. Dark, grey clouds suffocated the sky and a thin downfall of rain had started up not long ago.

All of them knew why, of course. She had mentioned it briefly among other holidays that Tamaran celebrated. It wasn’t one she tended to dwell on usually but this year, it seemed to catch her at a bad time and she couldn’t escape the feelings that bombarded her with it.

It was Iyali; a holiday celebrated throughout Tamaran to commemorate one’s family and the renewing of familial bonds. It was a day where Tamaranians alike are thankful for the people in their family and most of of all, a day you spend with family.

Therein lay the problem for the lonely Princess.

Her parents and brother had died before she had even reached Earth and her homicidal sister was still trying to hunt her down wherever she could. As much as she considered Galfore as family, he had his own blood ties and was unavailable for the day. 

Beyond those people, she had no other living family members to go and visit or speak to on Tamaran. Starfire didn’t have anyone left and they all knew it stabbed deeper than she would ever let on.

Cyborg shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest from where the two were perched within the kitchen. He hated to see his little lady so bleak and upset; it was so unlike her bubbly self. 

The boys knew that it probably didn’t help that Robin was away in Gotham for the week; being her best friend and boyfriend, he was usually quickest to get her smiling and making her forget all about things that brought her heartache. 

Beast Boy made a sad, keening sound and turned to his best friend, “We gotta do something. Seeing Star all depressed is like seeing a bunny being hurt.” 

Cyborg nodded, “Agreed.”

“But what do we say? She’s upset about her family day thing, I’m guessing, right?”

“Right.”

“How do we cheer her up from that? We can’t bring her family back.” 

Cyborg smiled softly, “Maybe not but we can remind her of other family she has.”

“But she-”

The half machine gave him a blank stare, willing the changeling to work out what he was implying. Beast Boy stared at him for a long moment, his brows furrowed in confusion before his mouth dropped open,

“Ohh!”

Cyborg rolled his human eye and nudged the green teen, “C’mon, idiot. Let’s go cheer up our girl.”

The two of them ambled over to where she had a hand pressed against the glass of the window, a wistful expression on her face. She turned her head as they approached and blinked,

“Hey Star!” Beast Boy chirped, sitting down on her left side.

“Yo’ little lady.” Cyborg greeted, taking her other side,

“Greetings friends, what can I do for you?” Starfire replied, her voice strangely cold and devoid of much emotion,

“We… wanted to check in on you.” Beast Boy pointed out,

Cyborg brushed some of her red hair behind her ear, “Yeah, Star… you’ve been real quiet today. You wanna talk?”

Starfire looked down at her lap and shook her head, “I am fine.”

Beast Boy frowned and took one of her hands in his, “No you’re not. We can tell. It’s a secret power of ours.”

The Princess gave him a ghost of a smile; there and gone too quickly to label it as a full smile. 

She looked lost, like she wanted to vent whilst simultaneously not wanting to be a burden. 

“Star… you can talk to us. We kid around a lot but… you know we love you, right?” Cyborg gently reminded her,

Tears pricked her eyes and she nodded, “I… I… today is supposed to be… a day of family celebrations on Tamaran… and I never realized how alone I truly am.”

“How so?” Beast Boy queried,

“All of my family members are dead or are my sister trying to murder me… Galfore… as close as I am to him, he is still my guardian and protector. Nothing more.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re alone, Star. As long as you have people that love and care about you? That’s all ya need.” Cyborg told her,

Starfire slowly nodded, as if unconvinced.

“And y’know… you have us as a family too.” Beast Boy pointed out, grinning at her,

She tilted her head, “Truly?”

Beast Boy chuckled, “Duh! We might be a bit of a dysfunctional one but the Titans are your family. Always.” 

Starfire brightened suddenly, smiling like the sun had just come out after days of cloud and rain. She turned her head to Cyborg who matched her smile, 

“Little dude said it all, girl. You’re stuck with us, whether ya like it or not.” He told her, tapping her nose with his finger,

She giggled as the two of them proceeded to hug her, smooshing her between their chests. The tears in her eyes remained unshed and quickly cleared as her heart became full of the positivity and love of her brothers.

As they pulled away, Starfire gifted both of their cheeks with a small kiss, “Thank you… my brothers.” She smiled widely at the acceptable familial term.

Cyborg ruffled her long red hair, “No need to thank us, Star. It’s what family does.”

Beast Boy nodded rapidly, agreeing with the half machine.

Nudging Starfire’s arm, Cyborg raised an eyebrow, “So… what do Tamaranians do to celebrate Iyali, then?” 

She tapped her lips, “Most families on my world spend this day simply being together. It is a tradition to have a focus on those of your family and how much they mean to you.”

Beast Boy grinned, “We can do that.”

Cyborg winked at Starfire, “How about we have a movie night? We can watch a whole bunch of different ones.” 

She beamed, “I would like that very much.”

Beast Boy got to his feet and jerked his head in the direction of the hallway, “I’ll go grab our gumpiest family member.”

Cyborg and Starfire laughed as the changeling jogged off to do just that. The cybernetic teen lumbered to his feet too, offering a helping hand to Starfire. 

“Shall we go and make some popcorn, Star?” He asked, glancing over his shoulder to smirk, “With mustard dressing?”

Her eyes lit up and she floated after him, her mood feeling restored,

“Glorious!”

#requests #asks #cystarbb #cyborg #starfire #beast boy #brotp #sibling fluff #1000 follower prompts #fanfiction #oneshot #nightglider124 #soz the requests have gone downhill #like i know they suck #but i just cant #so sorry for that

[onbartonspringsfic]

Chapter 76

I’ve gotten a couple of messages asking when I was going to update this story, and I would sincerely like to thank you guys for that. It rekindled the fire for me and it feels really good to just sit down and write. This is neither long nor good, but I promised to post something. Hopefully this will tide you over for just a little bit. Thanks for remembering me, guys. xx

Here goes. More to come, and I promise it won’t be as long next time.

———

Stepping out into the hall, you close the bedroom door and smile to yourself. You’ve just left a very pitiful looking Dave standing in the shower holding a hot cup of coffee. He’d not slept well the night before, he’d explained grumpily when you flounced down on the bed, rudely waking him up. You feel slightly guilty for disturbing him, but you want him up and nearby. Chris didn’t seem like he was planning on pushing you to talk more this morning, but you need some time to digest your last chat before you decide how to respond.

Treading lightly down the plush carpeted hallway, you consider heading back to the music room and listening to some records while waiting for Dave to get all tarted up, but a faint sliver of light slipping through the slightly ajar home theater door catches your eye. Silently tip-toeing over, you peek inside to find High Fidelity playing on the big screen. Rob is currently explaining to his audience how he is organizing his record collection, a rationale Dave has obviously stolen from John Cusack’s character. Though the light is dim, you can clearly make out Nate’s silhouette in the middle row, his cushy chair slightly reclined. He seems oblivious to your presence, even after you pull the door shut and begin carefully descending the shallow stairs that lead down to all the seats. Starting down his row, you finally catch his eye. He raises a hand in a greeting and immediately swipes up the remote control pad from the console next to him.

“Good morning! Join me?” he asks, grinning through his scruffy red beard. Turning sideways in his seat, he lowers the volume of the movie and looks at you again. “You ever seen this?” he asks, motioning at the screen with the remote.

“More times than I can remember,” you grin back. Nate is quite possibly one of the sweetest guys you’d ever met and you’d always thought he was terribly cute. You often wonder why he was the only one that wasn’t married, or even seeing anyone that you knew of. He’s never said much to you, but then there hadn’t been many opportunities to. “It’s one of my faves. I love the bit at the end where Jack Black performs. He’s incredible.”

“I think that’s my favorite part too,” he laughs. Looking down at the remote, he thoughtfully runs a hand over his beard and looks at you again. “We’ve never really talked much,” he says, matter-of-fact.

“I was just thinking that.” You settle into the chair on the other side of the console, turning to face him just as he had done you. “We’ve not really had the opportunity.”

“Well… you and Dave seem to stay… busy.” He smiles nervously at the screen and then back at you briefly.

“Jesus.” Dropping your chin to your chest and hiding behind your hair, you giggle. “I will NEVER live that down!”

“Just teasing!” he promises. “But seriously… can I ask you a question?”

Looking puzzled, you nod your head before resting your temple on the back of the recliner.

“I know this is none of my business and you can tell me to fuck off if you want to… but… “ he seems nervous and unsure, his eyes darting between the remote in his lap and you. Finally he takes a quick glance back at the door before looking you in the eye. “Do you have the slightest idea how Chris feels about you?”

While your heart speeds up considerably, you manage not to move and keep your calm.

“How do you mean?”

“Again, I know this is none of my business…” He heaves a sigh. “Chris can’t stand the fact that you’re with Dave. It bothers the hell out of him that he left you that night at the hotel and took off with Rose.” He stops to think for a moment, looking a bit distant as he appears to collect his thoughts. You remain quiet until he continues. “I know you two are close, that you have spent and probably will spend a lot of time together. I saw that you went for a walk on the beach this morning. I wasn’t spying on you or anything,” he adds quickly. “I was out for a run and saw you leaving as I was coming back.”

You quickly nod and shrug your shoulders slightly at him, indicating that you understand but want him to finish.

“He and I have known each other a long time. He cares about you a lot. More than I’ve ever seen him care about anyone. Including Cara.” He hesitates another second or two. “I guess what I am asking is… do you know how he feels about you, and does he know that you guys are just friends? I’m worried Chris might think you guys are working on more than a friendship. He talks about you a lot.” He sets the remote back on the console with frustration and then looks at the screen.

“Chris confided in me,” he continues, “and I don’t like breaking his trust. But I don’t want to see any of my friends get hurt. Including you.”

You can’t help but smile at him.

“Nate, you have no idea how good it makes me feel to know you consider me a friend and think enough of me to look out for my feelings. That’s so very sweet,” you add, watching him smile shyly. “I understand why you told me, and I won’t mention it to Chris. He and I have already talked about this, and we’re… working it out.”

“Well, that’s a relief,” he begins, grinning again. “I really do hope you don’t think I’m a jerk for mentioning it. Like I said, I know it’s none of my…”

“I appreciate your being a good friend, to both of us,” you gently interrupt. “I think if I were you, I would have done the same thing. And I promise I won’t tell Chris that you mentioned it.”

Looking reassured, he lets loose a sigh of relief.

“Want to watch to the end?” he asks, picking up the remote and settling back into his chair.

Without an answer, you mimic his reclining position as he returns the volume to its previous level.

—–

After watching to the very end, you and Nate decide to make your way to the kitchen to see who is around and what is on for the day. The kitchen seems to be the one place in the house that everyone gravitates to. It is where the coffee lives, after all.

Nate is entertaining you with an animated yet very impressive version of “Let’s Get It On” as he rounds the corner into the sunny room. You are right on his heels, giggling and stumbling in behind him. You both stop abruptly at the sound of Dave’s voice.

“It’s a little early to be that drunk, isn’t it?” he smirks, giving you both a wink. “The fuck you two been up to?”

“We were enjoying a matinee showing of High Fidelity, you explain, still giggling over Nate.

“Ah. That would explain it.”

“What are you so damn happy about?” whispers Pat in your ear as he pinches your side. He’s snuck up behind you and you’re not sure if it’s the pinch or his voice that makes you jump. Spinning around to face him, you punch him playfully in the chest. You immediately see Chris standing behind him, laughing at your reaction.

“Dammit, Pat, you scared the hell out of me!”

“You have to watch out for him. He’s stealthy,” warns Chris. He steps around Pat and wanders over to the table and has a seat across from Dave. You feel slightly sick for a moment.

Dave meets Chris with a nod. “‘Sup, man? How was your walk this morning?” he asks, looking from Chris to you and then back at Chris. “You guys get all caught up?”

“Yeah, I think we covered just about everything,” Chris answers, raising his eyebrows at you. You immediately step over to the pantry and open both doors, carefully looking for nothing in particular just to avoid eye contact with either of them. “I told her about Cara, so…”

“Oh! Okay… I hadn’t mentioned it since you asked me not to.”

“Thanks, but it’s okay. Pen’s my best friend. There’s no reason she shouldn’t know.”

With your back still turned to them, you look sideways at Nate who has busied himself by trying to see how much cream he can add to his already milk-white coffee. Under different circumstances, this would be comical, but you can tell he’s way more nervous than he ought to be. You plan to keep his confidence. And he had done the right thing.

At the same time, you are a bit surprised to hear Chris say that you are his best friend. Especially after your conversation this morning. You decide to let it go.

“So what’s in the cards for today, boys?” you ask, closing the pantry and walking away empty-handed. Nate follows your lead and you both have a seat at the table, you next to Dave and Nate next to Chris. You promptly rest your head on Dave’s shoulder and look up at him.

“Are you less grumpy since you’ve had a shower and caffeine?”

He slips an arm around you and pulls you closer to his side. “I’m sorry if I snapped at you this morning. Thank you for looking after me. It was a long night.”

“Well, you’ve got a lot on your mind, haven’t you?” you ask in an understanding tone. You rub his bicep and give it a squeeze. Dropping his chin, he flashes you a loving grin and kisses you gently on the lips. Your heart skips a beat and, out of the corner of your eye, you swear it looks like Chris uncomfortably squirms on the adjacent bench.

“God damn, you two get a room!” The entire table looks up to see Pat at the kitchen island sipping a martini. A hush falls over the foursome at the table, everyone in awe of how Pat conjured up a martini without anyone noticing. Nate opens his mouth to comment, but quickly closes it again, wrapping both hands around his coffee cup and staring into it vacantly.

“Excuse me, but this is MY kitchen and MY house. We’ll get ass naked and fuck on this table if that’s what we wanna do.” At this, Nate abandons his cup of coffee and nearly sprints out of the kitchen without a word. Pat remains at the island, doubled over in laughter. You and Chris exchange an awkward glance.

“Alrighty, then!” you manage. “If anyone needs me, I’ll be on the beach,” you say over your shoulder as you head to the bedroom to change into your bikini.

#foofighters foofightersfanfiction davegrohl davegrohlfanfic chrisshiflett chrisshiflettfanfic natemendel natemendelfanfic

[junker-town]

Trash Or Nawl: The War On Christmas Is Real, and it’s actually about the Eagles

Welcome to Trash Or Nawl, a weekly column to help you weed through the Internet Muck. To do that, I’ll be breaking it down to a helpful binary: Is something trash? Or nawl? Topics here will involve sports and whatever else the hell I say is sports or sports adjacent. I’ll do my best to make sense of what's going on each week, but the thing to remember is no matter what I say, most of these things are still trash.

You might say this is simplistic, and hell yeah it is. This is how I make sense of the chaos. Professional grade hating restores power to my powerless stupid fan hands. I give a middle finger because I've given up clapping.

Trash or Nawl criteria: We will pick a topic. We will breakdown why or why it isn't trash. You can agree, you can comment or tweet your disagreements. Or we can fight. Really, it's up to you.

Today is another special edition of Trash Or Nawl. Honestly, y’all should just get used to every edition being a “special edition” because I’ve been special all my life. Shouts to my guy Mike Beasely. Today let’s discuss y’alls fave stupid ass, pagan-face ass holiday, Chrimuh.

The Real War On Christmas

Lemme tell you jerks about the War On Christmas. No, it’s not whatever the Sweet Potato In Chief, Donny Screwball is whippin up in the Conservative Palace today for all you GOP All-Stars. The War On Christmas is one we’ve always known. We go back and forth about it every year, but this is the real one, the actual War on Christmas, one that has nothing to do with what the Starbucks barista says to you when you get that shitty latte.

The War On Christmas is actually the War Against The Philadelphia Eagles, because allegedly in 1968, Eagles fans booed Santa and threw snowballs at his holly-jolly ass.

EVERY STUPID YEAR YOU MCASSHOLES GOTTA POP SOME SHIT ABOUT A WEAK ASS SANTA GETTING PELTED WITH SNOWBALLS. IT AIN’T MY FAULT IF YO WEAK ASS CITY DON’T ADD VIOLENCE TO YOUR FUN.

Photo by Elsa/Getty Images

This shit didn’t even happen. If you believe this you either from Dallas or you the Feds. (Note: to any Feds reading that I have committed no crimes). Philadelphia gave this country democracy and battle rap. We’ve never waged wars against dudes who aren’t even real. Matter fact, this whole argument is some inception shit. Leo DiCaprio ain’t coming to my house for the holidays and neither is this argument. All hail St. Nick Foles, the patron saint of Mt. Dynamite on Napoleon, may his reign last until the true red-haired messiah come back to us. Ah-Men.

Verdict on Santa: Trash

Verdict on Philly: Never Trash

Chrimuh Songs

In the following order, these are the only acceptable Chrimuh songs:

“All I Want For Chrimuh Ih You” by Mariah Carey

“I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” by Jackson 5 (who apparently was some whole snitches)

“Santa Claus Go Straight To The Ghetto” by James Brown

“Santa Claus Ih A Black Man” by Akim n Dem

“This Chrimuh” by Donny Hathaway

“Someday At Chrimuh” by Stevie “Can Really See” Wonder

“Ima Boss” by Meek Mill ft. Rick “Black Santa” Ross

“Mans Not Hot” by Big Santa Claus Shaq

“Take A Knee My Ass” by Neal “Chrimuh ain’t for Liberals” McCoy

“8 Days of Chrimuh” by Beyonce and her lil friends

Everything else you and yo family listen to is garbage. So warm up that dry ass turkey, get them canned cranberries and fruit cake poppin for Yung Barbz and the suburban homies and have a jolly 25th day of a random month we decided was litty.

Verdict on Songs: Immaculate

Verdict on Fruit Cake: Hot Trash

Year-End Lists

For once, ima side with all you lame ass “JOURNALISM IS DEVOID OF OBJECTIVITY” twitter losers. There’s nothing wrong with reminding the world about some bangers. Migos does it all the time. If anything, it’s a measure of the humility you have because you coulda just reminded everyone for 300+ days about bangers, but you’re like “nah, y’all got bills and shit to worry about.”

If you wanna pad the stats, collect a rack, or rep the set by getting these 35 tweet threads off at 1 am, I’m not stopping you pimp. I am, however, not reading that shit. Do you know how much Westworld I’m not caught up on? Do you know how much air is not being used fully if I read your work? Cmon, man. Why would I waste this unlimited data plan on that?

But. Y’know. Power to ya.

Verdict on Doin Ya Thang: Hell Yeah, man. Do that thang.

If you disagree with these verdicts, comment below. As stated earlier, you can agree, comment, tweet through your frustration or fight. Really, it’s up to you.