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sydneyhasdepression33 · 1 year

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She Keeps Me Up (Nickelback)

Summary: You are Rhys's little sister (only by like 7-8 years), and you and Cassian have been flirting with each other for the last few months. You want it to go further but he's your brother's best friend and he probably only sees you as a sister anyway. Little do you know, Cassian can't stop picturing you in not-so-innocent scenarios.

Word Count: 2.5K

Warnings: SMUT, 18+, might be some cringe happening so I apologize, dirty talk, oral (female receiving), light choking, and idk other interesting things.

A/N: First time posting on here! Idc if you don't like this cuz I do lol. Anyway, enjoy Cassian ;)

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The sweat is pouring down your face and neck, despite the cold, snowy night air around you. You’ve been out here for hours with a sword in your hands, running through the training drills you’ve seen the males do every day. Up, over, down, up, side, in, down, repeat.

You are so focused on getting the movements right, you don't hear the footsteps approaching. “Well, look who I found,” says a low voice behind you.

Your heart races as you spin on your heel, holding your weapon level with the stranger's midsection. As you take him in, you recognize the winged male before you. “For the love of the Mother Cassian! You fucking scared me.” You say without lowering your sword.

Cassian chuckles, looking you up and down. You are wearing leather training gear, with your raven hair tied back in an elaborate braid. Your wings are nowhere in sight, and the moon is reflecting off your sapphire eyes.

You two stay like this for a few seconds, him standing in front of you as you keep your blade trained on him. You're the first to speak. “What are you doing out here Cas?” you lower the Illyrian sword, sheathing it at your hip, then cross your arms as you glare at him.

His gaze is piercing, but you’ve seen it so many times that you're unfazed by it. “I was looking for you. Rhys noticed that you weren’t in your room, and sent me out to find you.” He grins. “But I never thought I’d find you with a sword in your hand, going through the moves better than any of the males your age.” he steps towards you, so you take a step back with a small smile on your face.

“Well, you’ve found me, but I’m not going home till I get this down pat.” You say as you reach for your sword. Cassian takes another step forwards, so you take another one backward.

“I don’t think so, y/n. You can finish up tomorrow morning in town where the animals of these forests can’t get you.” He smirks, but you see a glint of something other than his usual arrogance in his eyes. Is that actual concern?

Deciding you don’t want to play fair, you take a step closer to close the distance between the two of you. You can see his breath coming out in clouds and the damn smirk that’s still on his gorgeous face. You stand on your toes so you’re close to his face and whisper, “I’ll go with you, but only if you can catch me.” without giving him time to register what you said, you take off into the dark woods.

Cauldron boil him alive. Cassian knew you’d be in the forest, you always were, but he never thought that he would find you looking like a warrior goddess in those oh-so-tight leathers, wielding a real Illyrian sword like it was nothing. Mother above, you were beautiful. He almost didn't want to disturb you, but Rhys had been worried, so he’d bring you back to the house. Then you closed the space between the two of you, and he started to come up with other ideas that should not be going through his head. Gods, he wanted you so bad. But you were Rhys’ sister so it could never happen. That Rhysand would know about, anyway. He was about to cross the line when you turned the other way and disappeared.

“Fuck!” Cassian exclaimed. He scanned the dark woods around him, but you were gone. Looking up at the stars, he started to laugh. You want to play? Then game on.

You're running through the thick trees. You can hear Cassian laughing in the distance and smile to yourself. You know he's not going to go down without a fight, so you pick up your pace, looking around and keeping your senses on high alert for animals and Illyrians alike. You reach a tall tree just outside of a cave and decide to trick him further.

You summon your wings as you run toward the cave. You only go in a few steps and then fly out and up a tree. Putting your wings away, you perch on a branch, waiting for Cassian to find your tacks and enter the cave.

You're not sure why you have to constantly tease him, that's just how your relationship has always been. But the last few months have felt different. They have felt like you're not just throwing words back and forth anymore. The tension you feel when he walks in a room, the way your stomach lurches when he hits you with his signature lopsided grin, or how when he looks at you it seems to light you on fire.

Oh how you’ve wished to cross the line of friends and be more, but how could he feel the same? He’s your brother's best friend and has known you your whole life. He probably only thinks of you as Rhysands annoying younger sister. He was sent out here to fetch you after all.

A snapping sound from the ground brings you back to the present. You assume it’s Cassian, having followed your footprints. But the creature you see is not your handsome Illyrian.

Your heart beats faster when you see the sheer size of the beast. It’s covered in fur, with a tail and a massive body. Its head is about the size of a boulder, and with the light from the moon, you can see long talon-like teeth protruding from its mouth. It's sniffing at your footprints in the snow leading into the cave. It disappears from sight as you slowly make your way down the tree where you were hiding.

You have to find Cassian. And as if the Mother herself was listening, you catch a glimpse of his wings out of the corner of your eye. You quietly make your way to him. He has his back to you, so you sneak up and put your hand over his mouth so he won't make a sound.

Cassian freezes. Then in a blur of movement, you're pinned to the snowy forest floor with Cas on top of you.

Cassian's heart is racing as he pins the person down. He's been on edge since he saw very large animal tracks heading in the same direction as yours. He was almost frantic scouring the trees for you. But as he looks at who he has pinned, he heaves a sigh of relief. You are not being eaten alive.

Your eyes are dilated as you look up at him, smiling slightly.

“We have to get out of here,” Cassian whispers. You nod your head as he gets off of you. But you're pulling him back down so he's flush against your chest.

Cassian looks at you with questioning eyes but you answer with a searing kiss.

You’re not entirely sure what came over you. Him pinning you down and looking at you the way he was. You had no words to describe what you felt at that moment. You just kissed him.

His mouth was hot and his lips chapped from the cold air. At first, you thought he was going to pull away and look at you like you were crazy, so you started to pull away yourself. But before you could fully detach your lips, his mouth came down hard on yours. There was heat and passion in the kiss. A hunger you thought he didn’t feel, but with the fierceness, he slid his hands up your shirt and groaned into your mouth which made you realize that you were not the only one who was desperate for the other.

You broke the kiss reluctantly, looking into his dark eyes. “We should probably go back before that creature I saw gets us.” you manage to say between your pants. Cassian simply nods and you are up in the sky.

Cassian always prided himself on being able to keep his composure, but flying back to Windhaven with you in his arms, kissing his neck, and winding your fingers through his unbound hair was going to shatter him. He lands hard on the doorstep, letting you stand on your own. He pushes the door open to find the house empty.

You walk over to the kitchen table, where a note is placed. You turn to face him, reading what is on the paper. “Rhysand had to go back to Valaris, so we have the house to ourselves.” The smile you gave him was pure sin.

Cassian didn’t have control over his own body when it closed the distance and connected your lips to his. His hands went straight to your waist to pull you closer, as yours wound through his wind-swept hair. The noises that came from your mouth had Cas wrapping your legs around him and moving to the closest bedroom.

What Cassian would never be able to forget was how much he loved it when you said “What’s wrong with right here on the counter?” His knees almost gave out. He set you on the edge of the counter while sliding his hands up your training shirt to take it off. You were just as eager as you undid the laces of his pants, making him lean into your touch and groan.

He was big. You’ve been with males before, but never one who compared to Cassian. He was working on your tight pants as you started kissing his neck, leaving marks along his jaw and shoulder. He tasted like night air and sweat, and Mother was it sexy. Keeping your hand in his unbound pants, you moved to get closer, but he held you still.

“You keep doing that love, and this will be over far sooner than I want it to be,” Cassian growled in your ear, making a surge of heat go straight to your core.

Cassian pulled down your leggings and sucked in a deep breath, and you remembered that you had nothing on underneath them. What can you say, it's more comfortable to train with just the leggings. Next thing you know, you're laying flat on your back and Cassian has his head between your legs, looking you dead in the eye.

“If you want me to stop, I will.'' The look on his face is one of the most serious you’ve seen. You nod your head.

“I don’t want you to stop Cass.” You reply with a shaky breath.

He smirks and dives in.

He licks your slit and feels you shiver and gasp at the action. So he does it again, and again. You taste so good, he’ll never be able to get enough of you, and by the way you’re moaning and gripping his hair, you’re loving this. His hands move up your thighs to your hips and squeeze. At the same time, he bit down on her clit.

“Cassian!” you cry out. Your voice was music to his ears, encouraging him to go faster. He added a finger to tease your entrance, and without warning plunged in.

His finger hit a spot in you that you didn’t know existed. Arching your back off the counter as he ate you out like a starved male, you threaded your fingers threw his hair and pulled him away from you. He looked up at you with a question in his eyes. Do you want to stop?

“I want you inside me, now Cass.” That was all you said.

Cassian hauled you up and took you to your bedroom. The whole way there you were stripping both of your remaining clothes, leaving a trail down the hall and up the stairs. Cassian's lips leave open-mouthed kisses on any bare skin he can reach and your combing your fingers through his hair, loving the feeling of him underneath you.

Next thing you know, your back hits your massive Illyrian bed, and a massive Illyrian is on top of you, staring down at you with dark hungry eyes. His mouth connects with yours and you wrap your legs around his waist, being careful of his wings. You groan into him at the feeling of his hard cock pressed against your entrance. Cassian takes the opportunity to slip his tongue in your mouth. Not wanting to be outdone, you trace your hand over where his wing connects to his muscular back. He growls and bites down on your bottom lip then goes to bite down on where your shoulder and neck join.

“Cassian, if you're going to fuck me, fuck me already.” You said and his teeth grazed the top of your breast.

“Needy are we?” He takes his lips off my skin. You’re about to protest, but all that comes out is a loud moan as Cassian lines up with your entrance and thrusts in.

“Mmmh love you feel so good wrapped around me and moaning under me.” His words are dripping with lust as he starts to pick up his pace and devour your lips.

Your skin is on fire and you feel a tell-tale knot forming in your lower stomach. It’s almost too much when you run your nails down his back and he moans as you brush against his wings. You feel his cock twitch inside you, so you wrap your legs around his waist and full-on caress the leathery membrane.

Cassian stops his movements, and in a split second his large hand is wrapped around your throat, not stopping air flow, but it's enough pressure that you stop touching his wings. “Think you can top from down there?” he growls getting closer to your ear. “I don’t think so love.” his thrusts become punishingly fast and hard.

The whole bed is shaking as you tilt your head back, Cassian's hand still holding you down by your throat. You smile at the feeling, but it’s soon replaced with a scream that sounds like the Illyrian's name when he uses his free hand to play with your clit.

“Cas- I’m so close, pleas-”

You fall, no hurl, over the edge when Cass whispers “Cum for me beautiful, let me see you come undone.” and come undone is exactly what you do.

Your vision is spattered with stars as wave after wave of pleasure comes crashing down on you. Cassian isn’t far behind you. Two sloppy thrusts later and the male is practically roaring as his release hits him.

He falls to his side beside you, both of you are breathing heavily and are covered in a sheen of sweat. You look over at him, expecting him to get up and head to his part of the house, but he doesn’t. Instead, he gets up and goes to get a wet cloth and cleans you both up.

“Cass,” you start, but he silences you with a kiss.

“We’ll talk in the morning. Right now I just want to fall asleep with you. Okay?” The look in his eyes melts your heart. How could you say no to him?

“Okay,” you reply and snuggle closer to his warm chest.

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Thanks for reading!

#cassian smut #cassian x reader #acotar #cassian x you #acotar smut #rhysand sister #smut #this kinda just happened guys idk

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babisawyer · 1 year

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Ben coming back to the cabin to see yet another cannibalistic ritual

#🐇#yellowjackets #again with the cannibalistic blue balls I see how you guys are playing the game at least I know it's gonna happen #poor javi it should have been travis let's be real he provides nothing #loved the misty on mari violence also #and we were all right about jackie's necklace! our girl's keeping the group together even still #also I know I'm literally the only one on the jackie antler queen train and while I don't think it's true rather than just funsies #it's making me wonder if this is more of a fae situation going on? it's been a looooooong time since I read about all of this stuff but now #after jackie's death and the baby's death and what happened to Ben this week it's kinda making me suspicious #like is the antler queen supposed to represent the unseelie queen? is it the unseelie queen? idk I'll have to look into this to see if it #fits. I'm leaning more towards that now than wendigo psychosis #also hilarious because I did say that portals was insanely jackie coded so we're coming full circle #also I've said I'm suspicious of walter but how the fuck is that dude so rich?? I'm onto his ass he is not to be trusted

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fala-alfredo-pasta · 7 months

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This boi gave me so many mixed feelings but damn can he just...have a second chance in the modern world without having Hayase's soul weighing him down? Can he just have a chance at living a happy life? Pls??

#to your eternity #kahaku #fushi #fumetsu no anata e #to your eternity kahaku #to your eternity fushi #my art #a e i o queue #ugly crying for a guy who was kinda of a creep #but he had his moments!!!!!#I just want him to come back as mizuha's cousin #who happens to look exactly like kahaku and goes by Haku #who isn't carrying Hayase's soul #would it still really be kahaku then?? idk but if there's a character in the show #that deserve to have their own life they can live as they please #its him.#and fushi.

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ccircusclwn · 22 days

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Is it just me, or is that every time u draw Mk u draw her differently? 😭😭😭 (not hating)

im slowly but surely oc-fying her at this point 🙏🙏 also its bcs i try many styles i like a lot and since mk's character design is like forever dented in my brain. i draw her a lot

#my art #total drama #tdi 2023 #td mk #total drama mk #tdi mk #tdi 2024 #ñññññ since i try to add some things abt artists i like to my artstyle im kinda all over the place all the time #my annoying ass when i draw mk differently every week (it WILL happen again)#shes the only thing keeping me in the td fandom genuinely. shes my favorite character ever u guys #keeping me ACTIVE*** i've been in the fandom since 2022 i believe sooo....#i wanna try drawing other characters. maybe draw sm nj bcs i started to rlly like it #or maybe just skip that n start drawing DNDADS!! idk ehy i havent drawn the kiddads already man

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scoliosisgoblin · 2 months

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I'm in hell.

#guys guys I know this game is problematic BUT HE'D NEVER DO TAHT #he never kiled anyone I PROMISE #he was with me and he told me he'd never so he didn't #but seriously though idk it's fictional so it's not taht bad imo..#Jay in this universe would be kinda out of place #he'd be 29 just living with a 21-25 y/o working 2 jobs #he has a kid but she lives with his brother #he's also a murderer but we don't talk about that #he'd really enjoy having Peter around tbh #he'd be oblivious to Tk's flirting. Don and him would hang out at bars a bunch. and Lucy would be like a little sister to him #also Peter waited a month before inviting Jay to his house #it was more so because Jay seemed to be happier living there with Peter around #but then something happens dun dun duuuun #my art #Jacob and Peter would be so obsessed with each other too... they'd be happy though so it's fine #your boyfriend #yb game #yb fanart #yb peter #your boyfriend peter

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wygolvillage · 11 months

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im like 60% sure i know the Actual blog of the guy running emporium LOL and he is constantly posting ai art on both his tumblr and twitter and is selling it so... do what you will with this information

EDIT: okay yeah this is him

#im not super crazy anti generated art or anything but i just hate the merch store. im putting blood in the water for the piranhas #im also like... idk ai images are a novelty to me. selling them just seems kinda gross #considering the Ethics #like its one thing to do prompts for a shitpost but its another thing to like. sell this as an Alternative to graphic design #if this is the wrong guy who just Happens to have the same name same typing style and uses assets from the merch store for his posts #i apologize. but still o_O i think this is legit #emporium #anti emporium

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hailsatanacab · 3 months

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Hiiiiii

I’m so curious about wip 1

Also I have like over a hundred wips and I can’t believe you did this to me 😭😭 /j

hey, you're welcome 😚🫴💕 i can't wait to see all your 100+ wips!

ooh I've had number 1 (a lot can change in a month) percolating for a while now and I've never been sure how far I want to go with it. I have pretty much all of it mapped out and it has the most bittersweet ending that I can't wait to write 😇✨ - anyway, have a wee little snippet :)

———

A month.

That's how long Danny Fenton had made his home with the Waynes before finding out his adoptive family's secret. The cave beneath the manor. Their hidden lives as vigilantes.

It was... a surprise, to say the least. One that he hadn't quite welcomed.

It threw him off, of course it did. This was meant to be his chance at living a normal life, a chance to leave behind his own heroics buried in the ruins of Amity, and then he had to go ahead and shack up with the birds and the bats, of all people! He just can't catch a break!

But... Well, after several tearful conversations and reassurances that no, he categorically did not have to join the team (thank the Ancients, because there's no way Danny's telling them about Phantom, not yet), things were starting to look pretty alright. The dust was finally settling and it felt like he was beginning to find his feet again.

That was last week.

This week, Bruce Wayne is dead and the family is falling apart.

#dpxdc #wip game #so you might have guessed but this is a 'danny and tim go on a time adventure to save bruce' fic!#and i've been struggling with whether to have danny and tim go off to the league of shadows for ra's help or not?#i know that's what tim did in canon and i kinda want to do it to have some fun danny and tim interactions #but that might make the fic too long and like... idk i don't really know much about what happens during that arc #anyway i just really wanted to do a little scene where tim and dick are fighting and danny hops in like 'you think bruce is stuck in time?#well then let's get going i know a guy who knows a guy this'll be fine!!!'#dick thinks the delusions are catching and tim... thinks maybe the delusions are catching. well he knows he's right about this but danny?#that guy can't be mentally sound what the hell is he on about?

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ohno-the-sun · 1 year

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Blah more back burner stuff cause I haven’t had time to draw this week

Had an idea for a Luca type au where like they are mermaids but can look human on land and blah blah blah

Self indulgence abound

Lol supposed to go along with these

Merm designs

Baby sun

the fic (don't read the tags if you don't want spoilers)

#sundrop #moondrop #mermaid au #also don’t mind the character in one of them #hiding the plot in the tags so no one reads it #met initially when they were younger #were good friends but one day sun got too dry and became human #moon freaked out and thought the human may be the cause #went to eclipse for advice and eclipse was all “oh ye it’s defo the human that caused this #also if u continue hanging out with them more bad stuff is gonna happen to u guys trust me #eclipse just has his own baggage regarding humans #but basically that scares moon so much he decides it would be better to no longer be friends with the human #makes a kinda stupid decision to wipe the #memories of both sun and the human #he was just a kid tho so ya gotta give him a break #now tho moon is super isolated and feels bad awww #he also figures out he also gained the ability to turn human as well #while having a crisis and not knowing what to do he runs into Monty #who is just a human in this universe #and like idk they actually get along really well and Monty is a good distraction for moon and also has a good straightforward mindset #all the while Monty doesn’t know that moon is not human #moon considers telling him but chickens out #eventually Monty has to move away due to his parents getting a new job #years later both the human they befriended and Monty return to the fishing town now adults #Bright now has a fear of the ocean due to the memory wipe and decided to move back by recommendation by their therapist #exposure therapy #Monty gets caught up in a group of people who want to kill the sea monsters that have been destroying fishing boats and eating people #bright notices new developments in the town like a hotel and oil rig. also the ocean seems a lot dirtier than it used to be…#anyway I’ve reached tag limit I’ll write the rest prob never but I’ll say later to try and motivate myself #Luca au

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mcrunchybones · 9 months

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something something photography being the art of memory and recording and basil being the photographer something something the way hes always the witness and never the subject and maybe he doesnt think he deserves to be the subject something something taking a photograph being the act of freezing a moment in time forever and basil (and sunny by extension) never being able to grow up and move on from what they witnessed the day mari died

#idk i have a lot of thoughts abt the choice to have basil be a camera guy as a photographer myself #the fact that he only takes photos of his friends mostly and kinda stumbled upon it as a kid #but also the way it suits him so well as a character both personality wise and narratively #and idk if omocat put that much thought into the choice of making basil a photographer #but some of the photos in the photo album are really artistically used #esp during the part where its revealed what happened the day of maris death #and using the photos as a framing device for the events that took place #and just. how theyll never forget. just like in a photograph #also curious to see what healing would look like under this context #maybe basil starts taking pictures of his plants more #or just the ppl and things he loves and picking up the camera again after a long time #maybe he lets someone else behind the camera and lets himself be the subject of someone elses photo for once #just some thoughts #basil omori #sunny omori #omori #omori spoilers #text post

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cursed-coat-of-homosexuality · 6 months

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how we feelin

(gif by @usermeggy)

pain. I feel pain

#i have so much thinky thoughts about this one it's killing me oh my god milo what have you done to me #sorry for taking so long. i eas planning on sorting out the thinkies and making a very long post abt it. but then life just kinda happened #and I won't be able to do it for a while. so anyway. just paaaaaian for now #ty for so much the ask!!!! i love receiving those little guys. it's like mail but fun and no supermarket ads #(you like receiving asks? bcs i have considered sending some silly stuff through there but get too scared to do it.#idk maybe there are people who dont enjoy receiving them. you just can't know)#ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #tw suicide #cw: suicide ideation #cw: suicide #tw: suicide

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mugentakeda · 2 months

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the tapping of his fathers pacing on the tile is almost enough to drive him mad.

“don’t let your brother’s incessant whining cause you to falter. this is merely a short visit to discuss the matter at hand, and then you’re on your way right back to ba sing se. he will try and whisper doubt in your ear.” the firelord stops to shake a finger at him. “do not listen to him for anything! i will help you in the best of my ability to have this taken care of.”

“i’m not,” iroh snaps impatiently, digging his palms into his eyes. “i’m not listening to him, father. he doesn’t care for lu ten and he doesn’t have to. he has his house and i have mine. empty words have little meaning to me at the moment.”

his father purses his lips. the sting of his stare digs down to the core.

“you say that,” azulon snaps, “but i believe this to be a family affair. its possible lu ten was taken advantage of because he was too busy protecting ozai’s wife and ozai’s children to protect himself. if that’s true, then ozai owes him. i don’t give a damn if he cares about him as his nephew or not. lu ten honored his house, so he shall honor lu ten in return by shutting his trap for once.”

iroh doesn’t have the strength to respond. he’d left ba sing se in a rush after receiving the news, and ordered the shipmen to get him back home on the double. he’s sick, he’s tired, he’s terrified and angry, and he misses his son something awful. the last thing iroh cares about right now is what ozai does or has to say.

there’s a heavy, sad sigh from above him. azulon slowly makes himself comfortable on the sitting cushion next to him, grunting as his bones creak. he sets the knocked over teacup straight again and refills it. the familiar heat and fragrance does nothing to soothe iroh, however.

“there is nothing i can say to make you feel better as of right now,” his old man mutters, sitting the teapot back down with uncharacteristic gentleness, “nor can i say anything sure about ursa or the children. but lu ten, he…. he is a remarkable young man. thick skinned and ornery. lightning generation at only 21, can you believe that? he beat you by a whole year. you must have faith in him.”

“it’s not about having faith in my son, father, of course i have faith in my son. but i have no faith in whoever has- has stolen him from me!” iroh suddenly exclaims, gesturing wildly. azulon flinches as his hands come dangerously close to knocking over the tea again.

your boy flagrantly disrespected you and stayed home to laze around, ozai had hissed, his narrow eyes locked straight up at the throne. both were kneeling before their father’s throne, side by side. i don’t know why you even bother. if he thinks he’s so grown up then he can save his own skin.

iroh didn’t bother to respond. he has nothing to say to his brother even on the best of days. all his life, he’s been nothing but a background character to iroh. always insisting on holing up in his room or office, never joining family dinners or celebration banquets. never one to offer his congratulations, but expects his older brother to offer his. yet, he always liked to think his word was of any significance to iroh. that he was always to be heeded. respect to his elders only means something to his little brother if there’s something to be gained.

flagrant disrespect. lu ten did not disrespect him if iroh never directly asked or ordered anything of him in the first place. he implied it, and lu ten pushed back. it hurt, but it would’ve also been the boys first true venture outside the fire nation. so iroh understood the hesitancy.

iroh would’ve just had lu ten by his side in his war council anyway. he would’ve never seen the battlefield or the city until iroh leveled it. not a spot of green would be spared by his men.

he had envisioned himself shooting a hole right through the flimsy palace wall with his lightning, and his son by his side. winning.

nothing has gone the way you made it out to be, great spirit. i don’t feel very lucky, as of late. the evening sun peaking through the tall windows of the corridor offer his thoughts no response. the general sighs heavily, and continues on his way.

the royal procession had gone through the beach house, along with the rest of the island. not a trace left behind. no sign of a struggle, either.

the procession claims it’s like they vanished out of thin air, sir, jee had whispered.

delicate situations such as this one call for holding the ones you trust most closer than ever. thus, iroh took only his personal guards from ba sing se back with him. jee is a rugged and introverted man, one that iroh knows can keep a secret, so he has been acting as his messenger man and valet for the time being.

another member of his most trusted circle is one of his longest working servants, one that belongs to iroh’s house personally. her name is su, and she is a stout woman around his father’s age. stern and silent, but trustworthy. she was the one that kept a close eye on lu ten from a distance during the periods of time iroh wasn’t around in his youth. she had been the midwife at his birth, she had been the one to pick the wet nurse.

and she had slipped iroh a journal outside of lu ten’s room. leather bound and stained in a deep red, with delicate embroidery of lotus flowers decorating its cover. it looked like something the lady ursa would gift him.

i came across this left behind in lady ursa’s garden, your highness, she had murmured fiercely. i snatched it right up and held it for you upon your return, lest it fall into the wrong hands.

the dark, warm silence of iroh’s own chambers is a small comfort, but the cold leather of the journal in his hands chains him to the cruel reality.

one of the vows iroh made for himself when lu ten came into puberty was that he would never violate his son’s privacy. he’d like to think that his son’s life possibly being in danger is a good enough reason to break it, but it still feels… wrong. especially now that he’s an adult himself.

it’ll be like eating a dollop of wasabi, he tells himself. spicy and painful one moment, then fading tingling the next.

with a sigh, he cracks it open to the back page. a few lines of familiar scrawl.

and the reason i torture myself trying to ignore all these things about him that bother me is because….

he looks away, shame crawling up his back. the candle sitting at the corner of his desk flicker along with his irregular, fear ridden heart.

a dollop of wasabi, he reminds himself. he opens his eyes again with a long breath and looks back down at the journal once more.

…well, that’s the crux of it. i just don’t know how to finish that sentence anymore.

that tells him a whole lot of nothing.

iroh flips the page back again, and is immediately overwhelmed by completely filled pages. then startled, by the sheer amount of times his own name pops up to his searching eyes among walls of scrawled text.

unease curls in his gut, like a dragon slowly rising from a slumber.

the ink doesn’t look too old. and su had said she found it in the lady ursa’s garden. and then jee said the royal procession claimed the fours’ trip to ember island was only to last three days, tops.

and as far as iroh knew, lu ten had been keeping quietly busy after iroh’s departure to ba sing se. lu ten willingly buried himself in paper work, always hunting for things he had the power to make into his business. training with lightning generation was grueling, and took hours, on top of the meditation necessary. and it takes a clear mind to even work with lightning, so…

had he done something recently to upset lu ten, and didn’t realize it? what things about iroh did lu ten torture himself trying to ignore? dramatic wording like that is difficult to overlook.

the general thinks back to how well his son can hide his emotions. lu ten’s court face beats even ozai’s, so it made him a gnarly pai sho opponent, but… he never did the backhanded comments. he can lie, but he’s a man of action before a plotting one. so you’ll never see the storm coming until it hits you directly in the face.

the letters he got back from him in ba sing se were… neutral. unbothered. he hadn’t seemed very troubled at the palace gates during his departure, either. tired and a bit wary, maybe.

but now that he thinks about it, the way lu ten looked at him had been… strange. his eyes had an emotion swirling in them that the general couldn’t read.

he rapidly rolls over the most recent letters in his head, the days right before leaving, trying to think of what he might have done to set lu ten off-

…the tiff they had on the evening before iroh’s departure.

he had forgotten about it completely.

spirits, he’d forgotten about it by the time he stepped foot on the shore. the elation of finally arriving at ba sing se, the first big step toward fulfilling the biggest thing he’s wanted to accomplish his entire life, the ultimate win, decades of planning and dreaming, inspired by agni herself…

he’d been caught up in the heat of the moment.

it didn’t even turn into an actual argument, that’s how small the tiff had been- a few things thrown back and forth during their private dinner, and the rest of it had been spent in awkward silence. iroh had let his hurt get the better of him, and he got testy.

the only thing that spoiled his ongoing luck, his relief of finally being able to go and crush his country’s most stubborn opponent, to make the second biggest win since sozin- was his own son not joining in, or showing any interest.

and that wasn’t even it. the closer iroh and his advisors got to bringing their planning to a conclusion, the more withdrawn lu ten became. whenever iroh brought it up, his son would close like a firelily in the night.

i assumed you were above teenage rebellion, iroh had muttered. i understand you want accomplishments of your own, but-

teenage rebellion? you’re joking, right? why do you always insist on- on patronizing me whenever we don’t agree on something? if you think you’re gonna guilt trip me into changing my mind, you’ve got it all wrong.

the disbelieving, ever so slightly shriller tone lu ten’s voice took on reminded iroh of his mother. she always had the habit of raising her voice a few pitches when she got upset. it reminded iroh of a coyote-eagle, once upon a time. the older lu ten got, the taller and leaner his face and physique became, the more time they spent apart, it’s like a vivid repeat of his mother. he even became a hand talker when iroh hadn’t been looking, just like fuhua.

(are habits hereditary, or had fuhua died after running away, and came back to haunt him?)

it’s probably best to start a bit further back in the journal. it might provide the context this father needs. he flips the pages for a few moments, and stops at random.

i spoke with a gentleman from the earth kingdom today during my observational trip through the colonies closest to the homeland. if you didn’t look close enough, you would’ve thought him to be any old fire nation fisherman, but i know green eyes when i see them.

his wife was a sailor that hails from caldera city. they met across the seas, in a neutral port town. they have two young twins, just barely older than zuko and azula. isn’t that something?

now, that is something iroh never bothered doing when he was a young man- it’s only now that his joints won’t let him run around chasing skirts anymore that he’s become a people person. but he’s proud of his boy for taking that initiative and having such a sense of responsibility, to go and mingle with the common man. an empathetic ruler that’s popular with his people will have the surest and furthest reaching authority, after all. iroh couldn’t name a single councilman off the top of his head that would be willing to even breathe the same air as a commoner, much less a colonial mutt.

however… this isn’t a colonial. he’s too keen on the idea of his family members’ abductors being petty, revenge seeking crooks from the earth kingdom to be okay with the idea of his son even conversing with one. for all they claim to be true and steadfast, them sneaking in and attacking an unarmed woman and her young children in their beach house just to get back at iroh is all too realistic of an idea.

but lu ten wasn’t unarmed. lu ten is one of the strongest men in the fire nation, and iroh isn’t even being biased about that. it takes prodigy to conjure lightning, and mastery to control it. and lu ten was very protective of ursa and the children- almost too protective. back in the day, during celebration parties at the palace, lu ten would damn near prowl around a pregnant ursa to fend off the careless crowd, lest they bump into her and jostle her. and he’d only been just a young teenager himself, so it was like watching a polar bear puppy that thought itself a snarly guard dog.

then a few years ago, there had been an incident where lu ten claimed zuko’s instructors were smacking him around. he’d grabbed both of the men by the collar and dragged them both viciously through the palace and right out the door- only after the sharpest scolding iroh’s ever heard since his mother was still alive. he’d never seen his son so angry. he’d chuckled at the way those old instructors had babbled apologies and fell to lu ten’s feet, while patting ursa’s back gently as she floundered.

no, it’s doubtful that an old fisherman had anything to do with it. earth kingdom or not. this is just something he needs to talk to his son about once he’s found. it would take a group of very strong benders to take lu ten down, at the very least.

he was wisecracking and friendly. we talked about his business, the officials that take care of the town and the surrounding environment, how he met his wife. he even shared his lunch during our time together- grilled fish, fragrant with sumac and citrus, and a chilled earth kingdom style mint tea. it was refreshing and unique, and i want to do it again. you’d think the fire nation would pick up these little things as it expands, but it just drowns it all out. i’m not sure if that’s a good thing. what made the food good was its earth kingdom style and seasoning, after all. what made the man interesting was his earth kingdom raised manner.

…what made lu ten think it was a good idea to write such things in a journal, and then be so careless to just forget it in ursa’s garden? he’ll have to thank su for her keen eye. if someone lacking critical thinking happened to pick this up and turn it in to his father, he’d have to deal with his son having allegations of sedition on top of everything else.

iroh, personally, is more than happy to let all traces of chilled tea get drowned out. it’s a frequent and light hearted debate between a father and son, the do’s and don’ts of tea. iroh is a stickler for tradition and enjoying the natural flavors. the fire nation boasted only the most fragrant flowers to enhance only the most delicate flavors of only the finest tea blends, after all.

his son claimed it all tasted like dinky dirt water, and stubbornly stuck with his cold hibiscus teas with herbs, and his heavily spiced and creamed saffron teas. it had been a big joke back then, but now… not so much.

a whole lifetime of a father making his son tea, sharing one of his passions. conversations over tea, tea for soothing a sore throat after screaming matches with councilmen, tea to wash down sea water accidentally swallowed at the beach. traditional methods, ceremonies, porcelain pots precious enough to buy a whole town- but it’s dirt water. yet an old fisherman from their greatest enemy shares ice water with a few mint leaves in a tin cup, and its unique.

and he wants to do it again.

the personal betrayal somehow hurts more than the blatant treachery written out plainly on the paper.

to be honest, i think that it’s a great shame that a good man like that has to be careful on his own property-property he paid for with his own money and built with his own hands- due to being from the earth kingdom, even if he has a strong marriage to a fire nation citizen. i thought about it for a long time, and realized that even if he wasn’t loyal to the crown, i didn’t mind. i don’t get angry at the idea, and i don’t think i ever have. i didn’t even think about it until i left. he made good company, offered to share his food with me, and introduced me to his beautiful children as if i was his new neighbor. i think community like that is something the fire nation needs. especially the nobility, who you’d think all have iron sticks shoved up their asses.

interactions like that are the most important ones to me, because they challenge me the most. i hate to cheapen that by thinking i just enjoy being challenged to spite my traditions and elders, or to be contrarian. that’s what coming of age means to me- looking inward, and asking the big questions.

…this can’t be why lu ten has been so distant lately.

the general slowly shuts the journal in dull horror. how long has this sickness had time to fester his son’s soul?

he swallows hard, and gingerly slides the journal in the folds of his robes. under no circumstance can anyone get their hands on it.

and later, when his gut quits churning and the candles around him quit threatening to set his room on fire, he’ll read this whole journal, front to back. brand every sentence, every symbol into his eyes. then he’s gonna burn it, bring his son home, and ask him what the hell he’s thinking.

the next morning, after letting the foul scent of burnt leather fade from his chambers, iroh finds jee.

“what can i do you for, your highness?”

“i need you to bring me the finest bounty hunter money can buy,” iroh murmurs. there’s a madness in his eyes and in his grip now that he’s had time to ponder the contents of his son’s journal, and what they entail. “and no matter what, it stays between us. i do not care what measures you must take to keep it that way.”

jee swallows hard and salutes with purpose. the poor man must be able to his see stress all over his face, but he’s barely containing himself the way it is.

this was no kidnapping. the blasted earth kingdom has everything to do with it, naturally, but it was no kidnapping.

jee returns to him that evening, followed by a lovely young woman, head to toe in black leather. her gait oozes confidence, and her narrow eyes scream danger.

this is definitely not the kind of finest iroh meant by finest bounty hunter money can buy, but he’ll take it.

“…i’ve, uh. fulfilled your request, your highness,” jee says. he looks flustered, and is clearly refusing to even glance at the woman.

“with a few breaks in between, i’m guessing. your collar is uneven, soldier,” iroh deadpans. he’d call it a shame if he wasn’t curbing an episode at the moment.

jee makes a faint noise of distress and fumbles with his uniform, blushing a deep red. iroh realizes that was the wrong thing to say at how the fair lady scowls at the crude jab.

she shoves past jee with an aggressive shoulder clip and crosses her arms before the general.

“i was promised a shitload of coin in exchange for some missing royals,” she says, voice clipped. “i don’t like to work with your kind, but good money is good money. and i can promise better and quicker results than any phony bounty hunter in the world- my companion is a shirshu. she can sniff out a rat from a whole continent away.”

a shirshu, eh? it would seem my luck has made its return after long last.

“impressive,” iroh praises truthfully. he’s a weak man for crass and foul-mouthed women. “i’d like to take a look at this beast, and then we can discuss the details and prices. i also hope you’re alright with keeping this transaction under wraps, my dear.”

she sneers. “you can call me june. and i’d highly suggest keeping a few steps away from my nyla, for your own good.”

jee clears his throat. “i’d listen to that one, sir. her creature is something else.”

iroh hums pleasantly, and keeps a few paces behind june as they go. a strange calm has washed over him now that the universe finally makes sense to him again; he has a few more people he’d like to question, and he’ll be all set. then sooner, if he’s lucky, rather than later, his sister-in-law, his nephew, and his niece will all be found and returned home, safe and sound. his son will be in his arms, whole and unharmed. ba sing se will simply have to wait.

and if they’re lucky, the dragon of the west won’t have thought up a better solution to finally grinding their sorry ashes into their own dirt by the time he gets back. but regardless, he will win.

#somehow this did not leave off on a redemption-esque note. My bad #I PROMISE IM GONNA ABIDE BY THE POLL RESULTS OKAY #this part can honestly be called Irohs Cognitive Dissonance: The Thrilling Saga #also im sorry about the lack of focus on irohs relationship with zuko and azula.#i know it tracks in canon (azulas doll gift) but im still. Kinda unsure.#im honestly better at just writing irohs dialogue vs his thoughts #and this being him before he starts changing makes it even WORSE #so i hope. i did him some justice. Awks #also i hope you guys liked the implication of june and jee making out sloppy style.#even if iroh kinda ruined it.#idk where that even came from it just happened #i hope u guys are seeing all the azula-iroh parallels about Winning and Luck. thats all intentional #runaway fire fam au #alicias writing stuff

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sea-jello · 13 days

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@nyaskitten tumblr ate your fucking ask uhh ignore how this is months later BUT i finally watched dr s2 AND

I GET IT NOW. I UNDERSTAND.

#i was asking for art recs and you said cinder back in like. december. if you dont remember #v messy please give me a clear ref without the fur thing and with the shoulder pads please please #google refs are 5 by 5 pixels and either youtube thumbnails or minifigs #what’s going on with his design by the way. why does he have blades strapped to him #pretend his hair is smokey okay idk how to draw smoke #when i saw his design before s2 came out i clocked him as a cold tundra ish terrain design cause of the fur and the wolves #so i gave him like winter gloves even tho that’s unpractical for him but whatever #something about his hair being smokey the way your breath fogs in the cold you understand #the crosses and lines on his armor idk i searched up samurai armor cause i have no idea what they’re supposed to be #he’s a middle aged man to me so it’s kinda funny he’s beefing with a teenager (jordana)#i wanted to see a grudging solidarity under the cat guys rule sort of relationship but no the girls are fighting i guess #what happened with the old guy by the way how does that timeline work #cinder would have to be born after s4 and there’s NO CHANCE this guy is younger than kai #did the pacing of this season feel weird to anyone else or have i just not watched ninjago for too long #anyways #ninjago #lego ninjago #dragons rising #ninjago dr s2 #ninjago cinder #cinder ninjago #i hope thats his name i dont rember #ninjago dr spoilers #sort of #jellos scribbles

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brookheimer · 1 year

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the one thing i feel pretty certain about for this episode is that america will not decide the election. a decision will be made, a president will be elected, but america will not be the deciding factor.

succession can’t mimic 2016 or 2020 point blank, that would be boring and have nothing to say. it can’t try to outdo trump because it’ll go too whacky and fall flat like veep’s last season (sorry conheads, no way he’s winning). but what it CAN do is illustrate the immensely corrupt, often arbitrary, and hugely influential nature of news media and conglomerations on political processes. i think probably jimenez will be in the lead, then atn/waystar does something to, i don’t know, discount votes or cast suspicion on jimenez or call the election for mencken early, and the tide will shift, even though the votes are already in. the votes don’t actually matter. the actual result doesn’t actually matter. that’s the power logan (and as an extension, billionaires and CEOs in general) hold. shiv says it herself to logan in s4e2: “just cause you say it’s true doesn’t make it true. everyone just fucking agrees with you and believes you, so it becomes true and then you can turn around and say like, 'oh, you see? see? i was right.'” but it doesn’t matter that logan’s “a human fucking gaslight,” everything he says comes true anyways. not because he was right, but because that’s how it works. he says things and then they happen, regardless of what the truth is or what should actually come to pass. that’s been one of the key throughlines since the very first episode of the entire show when, in response to kendall calling logan out of touch because times are changing and logan isn't changing with them, logan hisses that everyone always says you’re wrong until you do it and prove you were right: “you make your own reality.” you can't miss the bus if you're the one driving it. the election, the votes, the political process? none of that matters. it was always going to come down to the roys and their ilk (allies or enemies, just the top 1%) — that was the whole point of “what it takes” (the mencken episode) last season, after all.

i’ve seen lots of theories about what america will choose and how the candidates will respond and all that and i just don’t think that’s the show’s focus; i think the whole point is to demonstrate the lack of agency, the illusion of democracy. because, i mean, we’ve already seen the fall of democracy via fascist election and fascist election-denial, both in real life and in the countless (usually mid) satires created afterwards. it would be disappointing to see succession use the election to reiterate that same point of 'ohhh alt-right ahhhhh!!!' i don’t think it’ll be about ‘fascism’ at all — at least, not ‘trump-y’ fascism. it’ll be about fascism in the broader sense, the kind that doesn't sport a KKK hood (even when it keeps one tucked away in the attic). it's the fascism that every single roy (very much including shiv and kendall) aid and abet -- the fascism that so many succession fans don't seem to regard as fascism, despite it quite literally being the definition of fascism. trump wasn’t the entrance of fascism into our political process. he wasn’t the lone sign of the failing of american democracy. democracy in america has long been illusory, trump just made it more blatantly evident with his particular brand of hate-speech-ridden masculinist in-your-face fascism.

so i think that’s what this episode will hopefully focus on — america will not decide. corporations, news media, and the roys will. thus, the president will most likely become president not because the country supports his policies the most, but because he’s likely to agree to help block a business deal for a major media empire, and the other candidate is unlikely to. and this will likely come to pass due to said major media empire's interference and influence: they create their own reality. they say it, and everyone agrees with them and believes them, so it becomes true.

#WOOF okay here's my unnecessary ~thematic prediction~ for this episode #i have some more like random thoughts ab what'll happen but those r less thought out and more throwing shit at the wall etc #but i've been thinking a lot ab this ep n idk i just can't see any other way it could be done satisfyingly -- they can't just do 2016/2020 #again. the focus has to be elsewhere. i have some specifics thoughts on details but again those r kinda random n will be in another post #after bizarrely getting a lot of things right this szn i know a lot of people are looking to me to see what i'll say for this ep and let me #remind yall that I AM LITERALLY JUST GUESSING BASED ON MY UNDERSTANDING OF THE SHOW AND HOW NARRATIVES #TEND TO WORK PARTICULARLY IN SUCCESSION! if i am wrong which i very well might be please do not crucify me. i know literally #nothing more than anyone else i'm just a random english/gov major who likes speculating about media ! that said if i end up right again #somehow then yes i am a prophet i am jesse armstrong i have never been wrong about anything in my life. etc #watch this age so poorly tho.#LOL #also fwiw i dont think the Shock etc is going to come from the election results - maybe possibly from the way things happen (i could see a #line of miscommunication resulting in fucked up outcomes etc which i can get into in another post) or a roy sibs moment but i just #don't think there's any way the results themselves cld be surprising. it's jimenez or mencken. it's not gonna be connor guys.#succession #succession spoilers #except not really. just succession speculation more than anything else #long post #succession speculation #100

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