#turning point is going to break me

[lvstharmony]

you can say or do whatever you want, i will never let this dunya and the people within it harden my heart.

#and i’m beyond sick of people calling it naive foolish and or careless #i am AWARE of it all #i KNOW the risk of being like that #i KNOW what the world and it’s people is like #so what makes you so sure that i’ll break down to the point my heart turns to stone? #wallahi i will never despair #my pain my suffering that i carry around with me will never have been in vain as long as Allah exists and He always will exist #because time is a creation of Allah nothing came before Him and there will be nothing after Him #i know that my suffering has a specific reason and will never go unheard

[skitskatdacat63]

Fernando S1E4 - “Out of My Comfort Zone”

#lots of good shots this episode! #tho i think im just super entranced by his racesuit colors since theyre my fav colors so i cant stop clipping cause im like ooo pretty!! #dakar is so scary to me every time they go over a big hill im like hands over my eyes #also so much carlos sainz sr this episode!! his and fernando's relationship is very interesting #(spaniard version of seb and schumi tbh) #him standing on the big car hehehe very tiny #i didnt mean for gifing this to turn into such a project for myself but ahhhh why not #i think the break btwn miami and now has just bored me to the point where im just looking for projects lol #fernando alonso #fa14 #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #we do a little bit of f1 #fernando s1e4 #fernando(show)

[scopophobia-polaris]

Honestly could we throw out the idea that totk's story issue is that it isn't consistent with the lore of the older games but instead drops intresting world building from botw because it might have gotten actually dark

#seriously eveeyone keeps up bring up the triforce not being the same like the older games instead of HEY why DOES the royal family just..... #have it #like all of it #and was the sheikah tech from the last game that functions the same was as light arrows/the biden blast was uh #how do i put this #how did they weaponize lightmagic in robots and does this all tie in with the “banishment” thing #or idk dropped point from botw zelda's fucking chracter arc #i know it ended with LOOOK!!!! YOU FUCKED UP BY DOING WHAT YOU THOUGHT WAS RIGHT #But damn they could of just not done that shit in totk making her just the #what was jt #idk man they just keep taking away her agency #man and it sucks cuz the dragon is so cool but mf shes forced to do it what she gonna do stay in the past and DIE? #idk man it just all feels hasty. makes me sad #and it sucks cuz a lot of shit shit is really cool and intresting but man idk i may become a botw zelda deserved a better weiter for her #becuase girl she needs a break. not saying chracters cant go through hardship #but there is something so nasty about the framing of youll never be anything but eveey past princess zelda trope and nothing more #instead of a crystal she turns into a dragon like guys this is the same as skyward sword but idk man is it werd to say #when Hylia does it aginst a thing that wants to steal the god triangles and is also a god its like yeah you had no other choice #how the fuck did one fuckass stone make ganondorf into a god like being you would think that like #mannwhy are the stones THAT powerful and why werent the other bitches able to take them down what because #did #did rauru give sonia the equivalent of the one ring at their wedding hey wait a fuck #sorry for all my spelling mistakes but what the fuck man

[moghedien]

i want the show to have Rand tell Lanfear that he knows she turned evil because Lews Therin broke her off and for her to just immediately start ranting about tenure and about how you make ONE little mistake and create ONE little bore and suddenly everyone is mad at you all the time and you can't get a third name and you're an embarrassment to have around

#Mierin's fall to the dark is like actually extremely interesting because while yeah you can simplify it to 'Lews Therin broke her heart' #you also gotta acknowledge there was a whole catastrophe of other events in Mierin Eronailes life that very much lead to that breaking poin #like the only other guy we know who was involved in creating the bore and survived it committed suicide later #like we forget sometimes that she didn't turn to the dark right after she helped release the dark one and that was very much an accident #like you know there are a number of reasons why Mierin Eronaile turned to the dark #and probably wasn't really anyone around to stop her from turning to the dark because at that point she might as well be a darkfriend #she caused all of this anyway didn't she? #I have so many feelings about Mierin she gives me such fucking brainrot thinking about her life in the AoL and what made her Like This #like she was the only Forsaken that picked her name #and she was one of the first to openly turn to the shadow #because like fuck if everyone's going to blame her for this she might as do it exactly how she wants #wheel of time #wot on prime #wot book spoilers #wot show spoilers #lanfear #rand al'thor

[torgawl]

i think what hits most about nobara's backstory is everything that's left unsaid and peaks from between the lines. it's the fact you can easily infer that something was wrong without ever having clear answers on what exactly was wrong. but if you can relate to the feeling of wanting to escape a place and the alienation from everyone around you, especially when you're brought up in small communities, then you can certainly understand, if not fully then partially, nobara herself and the struggles she might have had to face all by herself for a very long time; maybe even the importance fumi and saori had in her life and the pain from having to part from them; and, perhaps the selectiveness in letting people in that she later on develops as well.

#the way her story is told from fumi's point of view is quite interesting #nobara's backstory is like a silent whisper without a lot of obvious context and told from someone else's perspective #someone who until the end never really understood her fully despite their obvious close bond #someone who we weren't even aware was part of her life #and nobara's peak emotional moment and the last person she thinks as her life is in danger is her and the promise she didn't accomplish #a promise to reunite with the friends that shaped her and her life #ah. #i find her last line so... powerful? #she definitely struggled growing up and the only two people she kept in her heart from her life before jujutsu were people that #moved to where she lived. saori didn't even stay in that place for long. and then she moves somewhere new and she meets people #and a group that actually feels like home a community where she fits in and suddenly they kind of break through making place in her heart #just for everything to come to a halt. to turn to shit. for her to see that shatter away little by little. and in the end she's put in a #position where she knows she will not be able to hold on to what she cares for the most. that she will hurt people that truly cared for her #for not being able to go back to fumi and rekindle the friendship with saori and for being forced to be another punch in the guts for yuuji #and everyone else that up until that point were forced to go through losses already and traumatic events #and she decides to encourage yuuji to go on a good note and she truly believes the people she met made it worth it #even if it was for a brief moment in her life #i am not being coherent right now but it pains me :') #she deserved so much better #and i will hang on tightly to the line saying that she had a small chance of survival until the end #because she deserves it she deserves to live 😭 #i'm taking her from that stupid anime and putting her in a slice of life anime watch me #yuuji too. and everyone else. i'm taking the kaisen out of the jujutsu and you can't stop me #jjk spoilers #nobara kugisaki #jujutsu kaisen #jjk 💭 #my post

[winepresswrath]

there is no greater proof that john is tumblr girlie than his approach to conflict resolution but a close second is his decision to rebuild a society where the genders are sword and necromancy. and then making the most sword coded guy in his life a necromancer. pyrrha really took his man. she stole his codependent enabling cuddle buddy and now she's wearing his body. she has his eyes.

#pyrrha/gideon/john #is one of the more underrated love triangles of our time #i am extremely excited for john-pyrrha interactions i think they're going to be so deranged about the love lost between them and pyrrha #wearing gideon's face but in a completely exhausted way #also the our girl gideon paternity confusion issue #john crawling through gideon's window and into his bed when they were kids is canon to me ok #gideon breaking john's heart a little isn't canon to me #i think gideon was always there and always on his side and at some point that turned from relief and safety to terrible responsibility bcs #john cannot let himself have a win and he knows he can't trust himself! which now also means he can't trust gideon #however however IMAGINE baby john like one day we'll have our own house and no one will tell us what to do

[3rdbogwitch2theleft]

*watching Resident Alien season 3 undermine and almost completely sideline the one of the core friendships that made me fall in love with it*

#resident alien #there was some great stuff in season 3 I don't want to write it off completely #there was development for Asta and D'arcy both independently and in their relationship to each other #I liked Joseph (but I don't think I've ever complained about seeing Enver Gjokaj on my screen) #Jay meeting Asta's side of the family and going through her getting ready to leave home growing pains #The Mike & Liv as well as Mike & his detective girlfriend scenes were firing on all cylinders #and I thought that the Ben & Kate plot was heart breaking and compelling too #there was a great setup for season 4 #but all the Harry stuff was miserable #at this point the worst thing about Resident Alien is the resident alien and that makes me real sad #I should cut them some slack. season 3 was probably rushes and weird due to the strikes #but fell in love with season 1 so hard and I watched the whole show so fast that it feels like a left turn off a cliff #I also miiiight be having an outsized reaction because I am going through a thing

[imminent-danger-came]

Is there anything that causes you lmk brainrot that you weren’t asked about yet? :o

Cause I absolutely love reading your analysis’ and/or your scattered thoughts. If so, this is a demand that you share with the class! No matter what it is!

I'm going to use this as an opportunity to go on a rant about 2x08! It's one of my favorite eps in the whole show and I'd love to talk about why that is.

I wanna talk about Sandy destroying the bear mountain. Can we talk about Sandy destroying the bear mountain? Let's start with Sandy destroying the Bear Mountain:

This alone contributes so much to not only the ep itself but to the hurt/pain motif (or theme) in the show as a whole. Sandy is the gentle giant who doesn't want to fight, mainly because he doesn't want to use his strength to hurt anyone or anything. We see this resolve all the way in the AHIB special:

Sandy: "That's a lot to take in. You know what I do to people who disrupt the peace? Serve them tea! [...] But I'm tellin' you now old friend: if things get hairy, I've changed. I don't go around picking fights no more!"

And it's the first thing he attempts with the Huntsman:

But, the Huntsman presses all the right buttons, Sandy snaps, and because he does so destruction follows (specifically the destruction of that beautiful Bear Mountain that brought him so much awe before, which he has now removed from the world), and it's proof of what Curse MK speaks of:

Curse MK: "Such pitiful creatures. Cowardly, reckless, monstrosities—all doomed to play a role in tearing this world apart, to cause nothing but chaos and destruction."

(4x07 Pitiful Creatures)

-

It's proof of what even MK speaks of:

MK: "No matter what I do, it's going to lead to pain. It's like the Lady Bone Demon said—it doesn't matter if I want to help people or not, everything I do just- it just makes things worse!"

(4x08 The Brotherhood)

-

BUT, the same "Better than we found it" s4 philosophy still applies here, and the first thing Sandy does is check on the surrounding animals and then the crimson jimsonweed:

Even if there was some destruction, the creatures of this forest all made it out okay. And ultimately, because Sandy was there he was able to get what he needed to save MK.

The 2x08 conflict also parallels two other fights in the show: Both Sha Wujing V Pigsy in 4x06 and Azure V MK in 4x13 (I think this flips towards the end of the fight, with it becoming more like MK V Azure). Each fight pushes one half of the conflict to the "breaking point" (Sandy, Pigsy, MK, then Azure) and in-turn revealing something quite monstrous within each of them. (("What's wrong, isn't this what you wanted?" - "You wanna see a monster, I can show you a monster!" - "Well alright then." - "No, this isn't what I wanted!")

The way Sandy explodes and destroys his own clothing in 2x08 reminds me of how MK does the exact same thing in 4x13 Rip and Tear:

And I think some of what Sha Wujing says is easily applicable to all 3 situations:

Sha Wujing: "But you were too weak to be who you truly are! I am a monster! That's what the world wants me to be, so that's what I'm gonna give 'em!" ((Curse MK: "You can't escape it. This thing, whatever you are, embrace it. Embrace your destiny.")) [[The Huntsman: "All it took to bring out the beast was smacking around some of your woodland friends ey?"]]

-

All 3 fights come down to what the attacker wants from the defender (who then turns into an attacker lol). The Huntsman wants Sandy to go berserk out of pure dark curiosity. Sha Wujing wants to "see a monster", want's Pigsy to give him a true fight. Azure wants MK to turn on Wukong and understand why Wukong isn't worth his loyalty. All attackers end up failing, in their own ways.

And I just think it's neat!

I especially think it's super neat that the Huntsman wanted Sandy to be a monster, ("What's wrong, isn't this what you wanted?") but ultimately Sandy proved he wasn't. Sha Wujing in contrast wanted to prove he was a monster, because "that's what the world [wanted him] to be", and almost did before Mo stepped in.

So next season (or just eventually), I really am hoping for some Sandy backstory! I have my OG Sandy is Current Sandy theory, but I'll love anything they give me. Sandy went through some pre-series character development, and I want to know what was and why it was! MK feels like he's currently following in Sandy's footsteps (in a way), so I'm thinkin' Sandy will be instrumental in helping MK with his current Monkey Form conundrums (or at least in my dreams he will be). Sandy's "No!" during 4x13 when MK explodes into his Monkey Form haunts me, and I'm always one to stand in front of my conspiracy board!

Bonus parallel:

Sandy: "Hurting others isn't a measure of one's strength—took me a really long time to realize that. As long as I'm doing something to help out a friend, I don't mind what it is! I just want to be there for 'em when they need me."

(2x08 To Catch A Leaf)

-

MK: “You don’t know! We’d risk it for sure! I won’t abandon them when they need us.”

(4x02 New Adventures)

-

#sorry I'm not putting this under a readmore it fucks up the formating #anyways this is my ''MK and Sandy are underrated parallels'' post #and also I just really love Sandy and 2x08 #Me looking at the woodland creatures getting attacked being what pushes Sandy to the breaking point: ahahah this is not good #Like. If anything that's gonna be the thing to cause MK to snap right #I thought it was gonna happen in the s4 special but it looks like s5 is when it might take place #MK's friends are gonna get hurt (probably due to someone WANTING MK to snap and using his friend's to do it) #And in turn he goes absolutely berserk #''What's wrong. Isn't this what you wanted?'' #And that would also go with MK and SWK's 4x12 convo. Where Wukong insisted MK had to use this part of his power #Like: oh yeah baby it's all coming together #asks #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk Sandy #lmk MK #monkie kid #lmk analysis #long post #lmk theme: hurt

[3lostyears]

i can’t gif but the way the doctor literally starts SHIELDING rose with his body (and frankly everyone else’s body he literally pushes her in the middle of the crowd) is making me feral

#this entire sequence actually #he’s like i can’t save any of these people but if there is one thing i’m gonna do #it’s get rose out alive #like even before they break into the house he comes downstairs #with one intention and one concern and it is rose #and then he never lets go of her hand #until pete turns up and like…we don’t have time to unpack All of That #but in an AU where rose isn’t so emotional over her parents and mickey #and they are already shagging. the doctor is ripping that waitress outfit off with his teeth when they’re back in the tardis #and whispering that he can’t lose her #i am just saying #these episodes are the actual turning point in ten's arc to me #the most human doctor repressing his emotions going up against humans with no emotions #and saying fuck it i choose PAIN i choose GRIEF. that is his turning point #that's why idiot's lantern is a straight up date and he loses it when she's not safe #but that is another post lol my bad #timepetals #doctor who #tenrose

[ride-a-dromedary]

If I'm anywhere, I'm back here defending Rath and Nettie and Apikusis

#BG3 Musing #they are very important to me #like if you say all the druids are assholes i am going to slap an asterisk next to that sentence #i saw a fic at one point refer to rath as 'spineless' and i was like ah yes spineless - the only man standing directly up to kagha #nettie tries to kill you if you aren't straight with her? as far as she knows you are one step away from turning into a mindflayer #and killing the lot of them - the option she offers you when you are reasonable is *logical* #and apikusus is openly refusing to help with kagha's regimen and sending birds to find halsin #there's the other druid in the enclave that is talking a big game of defense but not doing much else #than trying to calm down that racist elf #the shopkeeper is unfortunately very apathetic and defensive #the rest of them are varying levels of hostile #kagha herself is an interesting case because *again* she's a very clear example of what propaganda can do to people #who are already in positions where they can be taken advantage of - it's easy to argue that you would never fall victim to that #but don't make me tap the sign #she's *very* apologetic and begs for mercy if you *do* break her out of the shadow regimen #i'm not saying she was in the *right* - especially if arabella dies - but i am saying it's a really good narrative metaphor lesson

[sailforvalinor]

…well, turns out changing to a Jo pfp is fitting in more ways than one.

#yeah turns out I’m going to be having a Jo and Laurie on the Hill moment. hopefully not to such a dramatic degree but #I went out with The Boy yesterday and I was dreading it so much #and it was fine but then at the end he asked if we could make it official that we were dating #and I asked him to give me a little bit of time to think (which he was super sweet about he did literally nothing wrong) #but yeah I just came to the conclusion within ten seconds of leaving the restaurant that it wasn’t going to work. like I felt nothing when #he asked me that question. and I wanted this to work so bad! it makes so much sense on paper but I’m just not feeling it #and I talked to my dad about it and he said that because the part of the brain that processes emotions is not connected to the part that #processes language aren’t connected that people who are married struggle to put into words why they married their spouse #so if I can’t put into words why I don’t want to date this guy it’s perfectly valid #and I suppose he’s right I just feel terrible about it. like how often do you find a guy this courteous and genuinely good? and like I #think maybe part of what’s bothering me was that there was almost no romance to this. like never at any point did he tell me that he even #liked me. it was just ‘hey we’ve hung out a few times now should we say we’re dating?’ and I’m not trying to rag on him he’s probably just #shy but it rang a little like a business proposition to me #but ugh. now I have to call (because I’m not going to do it over text) and break this poor boy’s heart #it’s a really good thing I have the play and my novel to distract me otherwise I’d be a mess #anyway prayers would be appreciated

[skitskatdacat63]

This might be massively controversial but modern F1 starts with the end of Michael's reign to me, like 1980-2004 I think of as classic and pre-1980 as vintage

I guess the shift in the sport after Ferrari's domination just feels like a natural end of an era to my brain, and things pre-Piquet/Prost/Senna feels vintage

NO GRACE YOU'RE SO RIGHT!!! EXACTLY IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

No because that's exactly how I categorize them in my head too!! Like what you said about how modern f1 starts in 2005, exactly!!! That's why I list my fav seasons as 2005-2013 because that to me is an era in it of itself! The end of Ferrari domination really does feel like a distinct turning point. Kind of closing the book on all those drivers to me I guess, like yeah they existed in the sport after that point, but then all of the drivers dominating debuted in 2000 and beyond.

Anything pre-80s is pretty unknown to me so it's kinda hard to put that into categories bcs it feels so distant, other than Hunt-Lauda of course haha, so that's vintage. And then 1980s-2004 is classic, which is honestly so apparent when you talk to older fans(When I started talking to my brother about f1, he'd always laud that era as the peak.) Honestly I'd mark the Prost-Senna era(with all the other drivers from that time like Piquet/Mansell/etc) as different from post-1993, because it feels like a whole new group of drivers. I think the 90s are like the 2000s in that way, like mid-decade it feels like a new group of drivers take over if that makes sense? Tbh that's every decade, but 2010s it doesn't feel like that as much and it's weird to me because 2010-2013 feels completely different to 2014-2019, one domination directly to the next y'know.

For me personally, I guess I do it both by eras like vintage/classic/modern, but then all the drivers are grouped in my head by debut year. In terms of debut year, pre-80s is vintage, 1980-1999 is classic, and then after that I group modern f1 drivers as: 2000-2005, 2006-09, 2010-14, 2015-19, 2020-now. I could go on a whole ramble about how I view all those different groups 😭 I even made a color-coded guide for myself :,)

#sorry for the super long response but !!!!!!!! #god i love the history of it all #and how to group them and such #cause they all just feel so distinct to me #and its why when i watching old seasons i started w 2005 bcs thats a distinct season to me in terms of era #2005-2013 MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!! V8 era(kinda) #2005 is interesting bcs its a definite turning point but also cant really be grouped with either the era before or after #it cant go with 2004 because as you said the end of ferrari domination is a massive end to an era #so i group it with 2006-2013 which is the V8 era but then 2005 is V10 so i cant call it just the v8 era even tho they belong together imo #it breaks my brain a little trying to categorize it because even like the former half of a decade feels distinct from the latter half #but ah no official titles for all these eras which is kinda a shame #id love to give them titles!!! #thank you for the ask grace!!!! as you can see i really like this topic :) #catie.asks #catie.rambling.txt

[skyclan-funny-name-squad]

I could never make a rewrite because I could not make any major clan culture without immediately pulling down a powerpoint about every single way you could abuse it, and every single way it could be taken as a cult thing

#i love reading other peoples stuff but the amount of times i point at things and go 'thats part of the bite model' is ABSURD #or i see a punishment and immediately start scheming on how to turn it back against everyone else or use it as a form of defiance to societ #the psychology major in the back of my mind just goes 'i need to get the kitties into therapy and to explain how fucked up that is now' #and the little shit in me wants to take that worldbuilding and do crime with it #theres a reason my main warrior cat ocs are a bunch of rule breaking gay medicine cats in the dark forest #i am too loner coded #if was a kitty cat in this world id be the local gay loner that tells cats to bite their gods more

[fiendishartist2]

the bar for "revolutionary" webhorror is so low. what happened

#god lord im so sick of itttttttt ToT #if you dont know analogue horror is on is deathbed and now ppl are onto ''digital horror'' #which is the same thing except using digital mediums instead of analogue (like the internet instead of vhs) #and i do mean the same thing lol nothing has changed #not the conventions of storytelling not the limitations of the medium not the types of scares it presents #the only thing that has changed is the aesthetic. and that is unbelievably sad #if youre going to do a horror series based in the internet then why not.... actually use the medium of the internet for horror #theres so many scary things about the internet (esp early internet!!!!!) and yet no one is using that for their series #just the same old ''missing children's spirit communicating through tape oops i mean the website :)'' like cmon man.... :( #why not use things like viruses or the sudden connection to any and everyone through the internet or early hoaxes/creepy ads #lack of regulation on the early internet or the isolating/uncanny aesthetics of old hardware (kid me was so scared of computers lol) #or literally anything else that is DIRECTLY CONNECTED TO THE MEDIUM YOUR SERIES IS BASED ON #does anyone else on earth care about this or am i just picky??? hello??? #i just want smth that leaves a genuine impact. i just want a series that feels like smth thats never been done before #i just want webhorror that knows what it wants to be and fits neatly into the confines of its medium #petscop felt like a real videogame. it felt like smth i could see in an ''obscure ps1 games youve never heard about!!'' video #it had a will they wont they about whether or not the game was actually talking to paul (through ghosts or other users etc) #but it was never in your face and it was left just vague enough that instead of breaking immersion it sucked you in even more #paul felt like a real person playing a real game and experiencing genuine fear and obsession alongside the audience #there was never a point where the screen started turning red and pauls voice became distorted and ''scary'' while creepy imagery popped up #bc petscop works entirely within the limitations of a man playing a videogame. no more no less #thats the kind of dedication to the medium that i want!!!!!! #i only critique webhorror so much bc its my favourite type of horror and i want it to improve

[mindshelter]

anyway. two days ago i was on a bus with 30+ minutes left to my destination when a guy in front of me very abruptly got up and plunked his ass to the empty seat next to mine, introduced himself and asked for my number. i was so frazzled i just kinda went ... uhh... okay? and let him hand me his phone. and i feel... dumb for doing that and not having any sort of mental script ready and not even giving him a fake number, but he also ... called my cell on the spot to make sure it was the right number? so. lmao. what would have even been the right option. he stayed for another couple minutes trying to make conversation. we were on such a long stretch of road, and i had a window seat so when he sat down i physically had zero exit anyway. he got back into his original seat afterwards but i still feel like i was being an idiot days later. eh

verdict: :(

#sigh. initially he turned around to ask me for directions and i was nice (because i am nice) and then it became... that........ #regardless. i had my earbuds in! i was hugging my bag to myself! i think that's a clear enough ''do not disturb'' no? #but since he called my phone he's BLOCKED ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 #and i checked his linkedin and he works decently far from me ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥 #intellectually i know i didn't fuck up—told him i was meeting up with friends/mentioned a guy was in this group/stayed noncommittal/ #only provided first name etc but ouuhhh i feel dumb. not bad or threatened just really stupid #and maybe kind of sad? i dunno. last time i tried to enjoy myself the same way i was on a road trip with some people #and one guy i wasn't as close with chatted with me the whole time which i didn't mind but he started asking me if i wanted to do stuff #just the two of us #not on like. a date in the city even. he was dead serious about me going somewhere remote with him multiple times #asked if i wanted to hang out almost daily after that #at one point i mentioned my apartment was having a technician over to install something and he immediately invited himself over #to... do it for me... #like... can i just enjoy my breaks. please #beepost

[01tsubomi]

i'm taking the jlpt this sunday and had a stress dream last night abt it bc it sort of snuck up on me and now it's kind of a question of how much my actual japanese abilities will carry me (versus if i should've been cramming on flashcards this past month) but the listening portion is far simpler conversation than my coworkers and i have so. i think that maybe instead of "damn i should've been studying japanese" my perspective should just be "i speak japanese"

#a key part of the dream though was that i failed because i went on a motorcycle joyride during the 40 minute break and didn't make it back #in time for the listening section. the prompt for the listening section btw was to write an essay in english about kirishima eijirou #so i was like damn i would've totally passed #anyway hashtag classic maya but idk #i think i have a bit of a complex abt it bc i was studying for n1 (highest level) in college #but w the switch to online learning we stopped studying the stuff i really needed to work on (vocab and kanji) #and whatever kanji i knew how to write went out the window bc i never had to turn in written homework again #so i really let myself go there for a good two years but since moving last summer i've not only been having japanese conversations every da #i've also actually been studying kanji in my downtime at work #so i have picked up most of the study guide-type information just really slowly over time #i read a ton of manga in japanese lately and most shows on netflix here don't have eng subtitles but i'm fine without them 95% of the time #with the genre of shows i watch at least #so i've been thinking a lot lately abt what my end goal is w japanese studies because 'be able to consume all the art i want' feels like #a good place to be #i do think in the end the only thing between me and n1 is a lot of genuine hard work studying vocab and kanji and reading serious articles #so i feel like all 'sekkaku da shi' i've made it this far why would i just stop working at this point #those are just my thoughts though aaaa i know reading/vocab/grammar section is way more hit or miss #personal