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anyarose011 · 18 days

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Bah, Humbug! {Angus Tully x Reader}

Summary: Realizing you are stuck over winter break in the school your father (with many nicknames such as: Rat Bastard, Colossal Asshole, or the most popular, Walleye) teaches at, you try to make the best of it. Or, at least the best you can make it with five other boys your age

Part 1 of ??

Warnings: Swearing, period typical sexism, feminism (abandon all hope ye who enter if this has to be a warning), sarcastic reader, Teddy Kountze, and casual racism (a subsection to Teddy Kountze)

You've heard of "Paul Hunham being a father figure" now I present to you: "Paul Hunham being a girl-dad and an academic rivals to lovers with Angus Tully". I became obsessed with this movie, and decide to add my own spin onto it. It's also my first time writing for Tumblr, so I hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 4.8k

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“You said we were going to Copenhagen this year.”

The first nine words you said to your father after he told you about the predicament the both of you were in. He sighed, sitting on the edge of your bed.

“I know.” You haven’t heard him trying to be this understanding since…you couldn’t recall. “I don’t want to be stuck here just as much as you-.”

“-So then just say no.”

He scoffed, yet still smiled. “It’s a stupid lottery, and my name got picked.”

“Bullshit-.”

“-Hey.” He warned.

Sighing, you glanced out your window. Thin specks of snow were falling onto the already pure as white ground, cascading down the roofs of houses. At least it was snowing and would resemble somewhat of a nice Christmas.

“Can we at least do something fun?” You questioned.

“I thought you said men don’t deserve to have fun the same way they think women don’t deserve rights?”

“Do the boys you teach think the same?” You looked at him.

He shrugged. “Not really in my field of work to get to know them.”

“Wonderful.” You rolled your eyes.

Your father squeezed your shoulder. “Yes, we can have little activities that children your age would consider fun. Still, I vow to enhance their intellect and schoolwork, considering that most of them are…lackluster.”

“Does this mean that I’ll get to drag their asses in mythology trivia?”

“In colloquial terms, yes.”

That brought a smile to your face, and you got up from your bed. “I think I’ll make dinner tonight if that’s alright?” You didn’t wait for him to answer as you left the room. “Maybe pie? I know Mary taught me-.”

“-Woah, woah, woah.” He followed you out into the hallway, stopping you. “We’re not eating here.”

You blinked, the only sound forming from your throat being. “Huh?”

He sighed as if going to tell you the worst news in the world (at the time, oh boy, was it). “They’re cutting the power to the faculty housing, so we’re going to be living at the school over winter break.”

Your face drops along with your heart, shock settling in. “Say that again?”

“We’re going to be living at the school-.”

“-No I heard you.”

“Then why did you ask me to repeat myself?”

“You’re telling me,” you bring on the drama, raising your voice. “I have to lodge with teenage boys?! The cursed sex?!”

He sighed. “You won’t be sleeping in the same room as them-.”

“-I can’t even look at you right now.” You pushed past him, going back into your room and tossing yourself onto your bed.

“Countess Natalya,” he taunts tiredly, knowing you hope your melodramatic attitude would wear him down. “we don’t have a choice.”

You point at him, not bringing your face up from your pillow. “Don’t you dare bring Natasha into this, she would react the same way!”

He laughed. “You get your stubbornness from your mother.”

“I get it from my father!” That’s what made you turn and bring your head up.

There’s a silence with tenseness lacing it like icing on a cake. Paul Hunham’s sigh of frustration broke it, approaching you. “Whether we like it or not, we’re stuck here. Whether we like it or not, we’re going to have to endure the attitude of pubescent boys who, I guarantee you, even when their frontal lobes form at twenty-five, will still be inconsiderate, full of themselves, and not know what true hard work is…We don’t get to do things we want all the time, that’s the reality of the situation.”

You still wore the same, spiteful look on your face as he told you this; as if you were a little girl being told, no, you can’t stay up until midnight tonight. Then, once he was finished, the look subsided only a little.

“I hate you.” Was your reply.

He ruffled your hair. “You’re the light of my life too, Jo March.” With that, he stood up with a pleasant smile. “But no worries, I don’t expect you to deal with the inadequacy of the male testosterone.” He then left the room, and you could hear his voice echo. “Now pack your things; clothes, toiletries, your books above everything, I know.”

He still continued to ramble, but in all honestly, it wasn’t important enough to this day for you to remember. All that was going through your head, was that you were going to spend almost a month in a musty, falling apart, preparatory school, with who knew how many musty teenage boys.

It was then you started planning how exactly you’d fly to Copenhagen by yourself.

That only lasted for about two minutes when you realized that your father had your passport locked in a safe with his, and you weren’t really in the mood to lockpick that day (or learn how to for that matter). So instead, you spent the majority of the time packing your suitcase, and your father was right; your books were the most important ones you’d pack.

You didn’t initially plan on socializing with the boys, so you nearly brought your entire library of books to entertain yourself; the only thing stopping you from bringing all of it was, besides your father, the copious amounts of clothing. You didn’t quite like planning out what outfit you’d wear for each day, so it was better to be safe and bring choices.

Your father had gone ahead of you to help the Boys Left Behind (a title you wouldn’t tell anyone for a few years), settle in. Settle in being him being your father and setting the ground rules whilst running that school like the damn Navy. So, there you were, walking through the ankle-deep snow with your backpack and suitcase that was meant for Copenhagen.

The school only had a few buildings; two dormitories for the boys, a small shack for the maintenance, the chapel, and one large building consisting of all the classrooms, dining hall, infirmary, and whatever else was needed for a rich, all American boy education system.

Perhaps you’d gotten a taste of what the American Revolutionists felt at Valley Forge when you heard a voice call.

“Hey!”

You looked up from where you stood and saw five boys near the courtyard by a pickup truck. Your blood, if not already freezing from the winter snow, ran cold at the sight. The same boy yelled again.

“Do you need help, are you lost?”

You shook your head, pitching our voice up a bit higher and shouting back.

“No, thank you!”

Trying to continue on your way, you looked up again to see one of them running towards you. Cursing to yourself, you tried to keep your head low and pick up the pace, but you got to see him one he was closer to you. His face was boyish, and you first thought he was a sophomore at first. His hair to his shoulders, something you didn’t expect to see for someone attending such a prestigious school. And…damn it all, he was attractive (for a boy your age).

“Hi,” he greeted you warmly with his hand out. “Jason Smith.”

You looked at it for a moment (still a bit blindsided how someone at this school could be so genuine) before shaking and giving him your name. He shook his head, chuckling as he tucked his hands into the pockets of his letterman jacket.

“You’re Hunham’s daughter?”

Oh…perhaps you shouldn’t have told him that. Still, you tried to let it roll off your back and played it cool, laughing along with him. “Yeah, I’m stuck over here with you guys.”

“Well, hopefully we won’t get on your nerves too badly. Do you want me to carry that for you?” He offered.

“Oh.” You looked down at your suitcase and handed it to him. “Go ahead, thank you.”

Jason took it, and the both of you began to make your trek up the small hill with the truck. He was being a gentleman, so you decided to keep the conversation going.

“So, why’re you here?”

He shrugged. “My family usually goes skiing for the holidays, but my old man won’t let me go until I cut my hair.”

“That’s really mean of him.” You stated.

Jason snorted “You should tell him that.”

“I will.”

“Oh yeah?”

“For sure.” You went ahead of him, turning around and walking backwards up the hill. “Give me his number and I’ll give him a stern talking to.”

That only made him laugh harder. “You should study to be a lawyer; you make a great case.”

“My father said the same thing once; I just personally have a theory that all parents tell their children they’d be good lawyers because they argue with them. As if it’s not a child’s right to argue.”

“You’re well-spoken too.”

“For a woman?”

You saw panic pale his face. “What?”

A smile couldn’t help but make its way to your mouth. “Only teasing.”

He let out an exasperated sigh. “Scared me for a moment.”

“Yeah?” You joked, turning back over your shoulder as you felt yourself at the top of the summit. “I usually get that a lot. That’s why my da-.”

Once your eyes drifted up to see the rest of the Boys Left Behind, your words fell silent. The youngest ones, who you assumed to be freshman, you did not recognize but knew immediately they would be kinder than the two whom you already knew.

Teddy ‘I only lost because I went easy on you’ Kountze, and Angus ‘I know more than you’ Tully.

These motherfuckers.

“You’ve got to be kidding.” Angus groaned.

Teddy merely blinked, as if he couldn’t believe it. “What’re you doing here?”

“She’s Walleye’s kid, idiot.” Angus pointed out. “Of course she’d be here.”

Jason looked between the three of you. “You know each other?”

With whatever self-control you had (and you barely had any), you kept calm. “They’re just sore losers I met months ago.”

Teddy rolled his eyes. “Hunham wasn’t proud of us after one test, so he called in her one day, and we had to basically go up against her in some bullshit trivia match.”

“Wait,” Jason looked back at you. “so it was you versus the entire class?”

You stood proudly. “Uh huh.”

“Lost to this dickwad of all people.” Teddy slapped Angus’ back. “We couldn’t believe she met her match; she tore apart almost everyone else in class.”

“So then why are you acting like you did any better?” You tried your best to sound as if you were joking but were also dead serious.

He scoffed. “Doesn’t matter if I did; you still lost.”

Rolling your eyes, they soon fell onto the youngest pair, staring up at you as if in study. You smiled, holding out your hand, introducing yourself. “What’re your names?”

The one with glasses and black hair shook yours first. “Ye-Joon.”

Then the boy paler than a lightbulb and cheeks turning red from the cold. “Alex.”

“And what’re you two doing here?”

Ye-Joon spoke first. “My family is in Korea, and they think it’s too far for me to travel alone.”

“I figured it was because your rickshaw was broken.” Teddy snickered.

“What’s a rickshaw?”

You shrugged, despite knowing what it was. “Not sure, I am sure that he’s an idiot though.”

Teddy acted as if you were flirting with him. “Highest compliment I’ve ever gotten from you.”

“What about you?” Jason questioned. “You’re Hunham’s kid, but do you go to school in town or…?”

“Homeschooled.” You weren’t the one who responded. All eyes went to Agnus Tully, still smoking a cigarette and averting his eyes from everyone. “Which checks out.”

You tilted your head, hiding your growing nerves with a surprised smile. “Aw, look at that; Frankenstein’s Monster does have the capacity to memorize things.”

The only one who laughed was Teddy, and you almost wanted to take it back.

Angus just shook his head. “Look, I don’t know what kind of schtick it is to be the angry girl, but it doesn’t look nice on you.”

“Hey, leave the lady alone.” Jason stepped in.

“Lady?” He said the word as if it was foreign to call you that.

“Yes,” you agreed with Jason despite how much you didn’t want to, but your desire to humble Angus Tully outweighed your morals (a reoccurring theme for the Winter of 1970). “I’m a lady.”

“For how much you start fights, I wouldn’t call you one.”

“Ladies do not start fights, but they can sure as hell finish them.”

He merely rolled his eyes and went back to smoking. Fair enough…him not engaging only made him look like the bigger person. Still, it wasn’t worth it for you to continue beating a tall, dead, dumb, horse with curly hair.

“What’s your story?” Jason asked Alex.

“Oh,” he sounded shocked. “my parents are on a mission in Paraguay. We’re LDS.”

“Mormons, right?”

Teddy asked before he could respond. “Do you guys wear some kind of magic underwear?”

You turned to Jason and whispered as Alex went into an explanation. “I’m going to slap him into next semester the next time some stupid shit leaves his mouth.”

He tried to hide his smile. “I don’t think any of us would mind, to be honest.”

“Hey,” Teddy interrupted. “what’s with the townies?”

Everyone turned to the chapel and saw two men carrying the Christmas tree out. Agnus yelled. “Excuse me! What are you doing with our Christmas tree?”

“The school sold it back to us!” He responded. “Scotch pine, still fresh.”

The other one added. “Yeah, we’re gonna put it back on the lot. Do it every year.”

“This is the most bullshit ever.” Angus shook his head, then looking at you. “Did you know about this?”

You couldn’t even respond right away, the question was so ludicrous. “I had no idea about being stuck here with you idiots until about an hour ago, so I naturally knew the townies would steal your Christmas tree.”

“Unbelievable.” He muttered under his breath, putting out the cigarette and heading towards the main building.

The rest of the boys’ gaze drifted to you, and all you said was. “Do you think he’d believe me if I told him they worked for the Grinch?”

You were more than halfway through A Christmas Carol when you were in the room you shared with your father in the infirmary. He was chatting with Mary, the head cook and the closest woman you would have to a mother figure, downstairs, leaving you by yourself.

Not exactly.

In the next room, you knew Alex, Ye-Joon, and Angus shared one, and then Teddy and Jason. They were quiet for the most part, save for Kountze tossing a tennis ball against the wall, but it stopped bothering you after a few minutes.

You’d read the Charles Dickens’ tale a million times, but you couldn’t help and see how many similarities Angus Tully shared with Ebenezar Scrooge. It would be a lie if anyone were to ever claim you didn’t have hobbies; what would they call you assigning fictional characters to real people?

You found yourself beginning to pace around the room the more you read. Whilst voices raising in the background grew louder, you didn’t know exactly what had been happened until you wandered in on Tully and Kountze having a fight you could only summarize as it being straight out of Lord of the Flies.

You knew how that story ended, so with one look, you turned on your heel and walked away.

Finding a quiet corner outside of the infirmary, you thought you were safe when-.

Your father yelled your name. “Could you come here, please?”

Roling your eyes, you yelled back. “You told me not to deal with the inadequacy of the male testosterone, so that’s what I’m doing!”

He called for you again, and you groaned, bookmarking where you were and marching back to the infirmary. All five boys and your father stood before you, and you leaned against the doorframe, making it known you wanted to be anywhere but there.

Paul Hunham sighed. “You wouldn’t happen to know who started this ‘Not fight’ mister Ollerman described to me?”

Your eyes drifted to Tully (for reasons, you had no idea), who simply glared back at you. You could’ve done it…lied about him starting it even though you had no idea; it’s what he deserved for being an ass you to that day, and for winning months ago.

But, where you were a bitch, you were also just.

“No,” you stated. “I don’t know.”

He thinned his lips, turning back to everyone. “All right then, we’ll do it like the Roman Legions. Absent a confession, one man’s sin is every man’s suffering. For every minute the truth is withheld, you will all receive a detention.”

“And I thought all the Nazis were hiding in Argentina.” Angus mumbled.

“Stifle it, Tully.” Your father refuted.

You shrugged (this somehow being the first time you agreed with Angus Tully). “He’s got a point; you’re breaking the Geneva Convention if you do.”

“The what?” Teddy scrunched his nose.

“Well,” Your father sighed as he said your name. “if you want to have an opinion on the matter, you can join them as well.”

“I don’t even go here!”

“Well, you’re standing under the roof right now. Now in the first of said detentions, you will clean the library. Top to bottom. Scraping the underside of the desks, which are caked with snot and gum and all manner of ancient, unspeakable proteins. On your hands and knees, down in the dust, breathing in the dead skin of generations of students and desiccated cockroach assholes.”

“It was Kountze!” Little Alex pointed to him. “Kountze started it!”

While the guilty party in question’s face had dropped, you watched as your father’s brightened. “Bravo, Mister Ollerman. Bravo.”

It must’ve off put Mary how you were smiling in the kitchen when you picked up the pitcher of water and bread as she got the platters of chicken and potatoes and asparagus.

Still, she asked. “How bad of a day was it for you to be smiling as you serve the men at the table?”

“Eh,” you began. “I would rather be on a plane to Copenhagen right now, but being stuck at this hell hole with you makes it tolerable; better, even.

Mary smiled at that. “Feeling’s mutual, Jane Bennett.”

“I’m Lizzie.” You playfully whined.

“And I can’t be bothered to finish that book.” She teased, and the two of you were beginning to make your way to the dining hall.

“Speaking of books, do you have another one I could borrow?” You asked.

“Already?” Mary sounded surprised. “I gave you that book last week.”

“And I finished it in a few days, I just haven’t had the chance to ask you.”

She shook her head as you pushed through the door out into the dining hall, holding it for her. “I’ll recommend the Bible next time to keep you occupied for longer.”

“I think I’ll stick with James Baldwin, if that’s alright.” You jested, then seeing Jason’s lips move as he asked a question, Teddy responded, and then your father spoke quite loudly.

“Consider yourselves lucky. During the third Punic campaign, 149-146 B.C., the Romans laid siege to Carthage for three entire years. By the time it ended, the Carthaginians were reduced to eating sand and drinking their own urine. Hence the term punitive.”

You and Mary set down the food, and you scrunched your nose in disgust at your father’s ‘fun fact’ while sitting beside Jason and facing Angus. It took everything in your bones not to burst out in laughter to see Teddy Kountze sitting at the edge of the table like a toddler having a silent tantrum.

“Thank you, Mary.” Your father greeted as everyone began to serve themselves. “Would you maybe care to join us?”

Oh, the look of distaste on Teddy’s face nearly made you lose it. Mary took notice immediately, and she offered a meek smile. “No, I’m alright, thank you.”

The same moment the door to the kitchen closed when she left was when Teddy turned to all of you, whispering as if it would help. “I mean…I know she’s sad about her son and everything, but still, she’s being paid to do a job. And she should be doing it well, right?”

If it weren’t for the fact you were chewing on a piece of chicken, and that your father was just two seats away from you, you would’ve given him a piece of your mind. The glare in your eyes would have to suffice.

Still, he opened his dumb mouth to continue. “But I guess, no matter how bad of a cook she is, they can never fire her.”

“Will you shut up?!” Your father hit the table so hard, silverware flew. You’d seen this rage from him before…but it still made you jump. “You have no idea what that woman has been through-!”

His gaze turned to you, and saw the look that could only belong to you in moments like that; where you stiffened yourself and hardened your eyes to look as if you did not know what fear meant. Yet, there was still an undeniable amount of terror even within those eyes you tried to have been the most fearless.

He reigned himself back in. “You know, Mr. Kountze, for most people, life is like a henhouse ladder; shitty and short. You were born lucky. Maybe someday you entitled little degenerates will appreciate that. If you don’t, I feel sorry for you, and we will not have done our jobs. Now eat.”

The boys obeyed, keeping their heads low. You felt your heart go back to itself, and as you were returning to eating, you heard an irritating voice mumble.

“Not our fault her kid was one of the poor bastards to be drafted.”

It took you three seconds to find Teddy’s foot under the table, and one for you to step on it with all your weight.

He jolted, cursing under his breath before looking at you. “The hell?!”

You feigned innocence, a potato on your fork. “Oh, was that your foot? I’m so sorry.”

Teddy’s eyes tried to burn through your skin as you continued to eat, but you barely felt them. The eyes you did feel on you were soon gone when you looked across from where you sat.

There was Angus Tully, keeping his head down as if he was a child who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

…Interesting…

What else were you supposed to think?

You finished A Christmas Carol by the time your father forced you to turn out the lights (and then confiscated your flashlight from under your bed…had to think of a better hiding spot). It always took you a while to go to sleep (still does, some nights).

As you laid in darkness, your mind would rush with the worlds you vowed to lose yourself in through the books you read. Frodo had Middle Earth, Emma had Highbury, and you had…Barton, Massachusetts.

Not even Concord like the March Sisters, just plain old Barton.

So, naturally, when your mind had tired itself from living these fantasies, and as you were about to drift off to sleep, your father’s snoring awoke you.

You hadn’t even noticed he came into the room, only when he started snoring to wake the dead. Sighing heavily, you tossed yourself out of bed, and used what moonlight coming in from the windows as your guide. Not long after, you saw that Angus and the freshmen boys drew the short end of the stick in their room choice; there were no curtains to the windows, causing the lamplights to bleed into the room, making it an unfavorable color of piss yellow.

That’s when your eyes drifted to where Jason and Teddy were; a little light peering in from their window facing the moon, and correspondingly, the other bedroom, but still quite dark. Closest to the door…a spare bed.

Yes, it was by Teddy, but your father’s snoring being fainter in that room was enough for you.

But again…it was by Teddy.

So, swallowing your pride, your eyes darted around for a solution, and they landed on Frankenstein’s Monster right behind you. Sighing to yourself, you turned back around into his room, and after thinking of what to say, you shook him awake.

He was somehow relaxed at first when he opened his eyes to see you; but that was just shock, he nearly fell out of bed when his vision adjusted.

“What the hell?!” He gasped, sitting up.

You shushed him, sitting on the edge of his bed. “I need a favor.”

He blinked, looking around to just double check where he was; nope, it wasn’t a bad dream, yep, he was still at Barton. “You appear like one of the fucking ghosts from A Christmas Carol, what could it possibly be?”

You rolled your eyes. “Well, Ebenezar Scrooge, my dad snores like he’s trying to be the Giant from Jack and the Beanstalk, and I can’t sleep in there. So, I’m gonna go sleep in the other room, and you gotta wake me up or I’m dead.”

Angus Tully stared at you as if your head had grown horns. “I have no idea what you just said right now because you woke me up at,” he turned and looked at his watch. “oh look, 1am.”

Sighing you bit back a response only because you needed something from him. “Look; I want to actually be able to sleep, and I know I won’t at all if I’m stuck in a room with my dad all night. I’ll sleep in the extra bed in the other room, and you wake me up so that none of us will be killed if I oversleep in a room with teenage boys.”

It’s more than obvious he understood, but he then asked. “Why not just ask one of the guys in the room you’re sleeping in?”

“I don’t trust Kountze with anything and Jason…”

Damn your exhaustion for not being able to come up with a good explanation besides-.

“You like him.” Angus’ face lit up with a teasing glee that unnerved you somehow more than Teddy’s entire existence did that day.

“No!” You immediately deny. “I mean, yes, but in a way that of course I like him because he’s the only one of you assholes who are nice to me. So, I don’t like like him.”

You liar.

Angus scoffed, yet his shit eating grin was still on his face. “What are you, twelve?”

“I was about to ask the same thing since you’re so interested.” You rolled your eyes.

“So why me?” He asked. “You like the freshmen, don’t you trust them more?”

“I like them and actually want them to sleep.”

“Gee, thanks.”

Sighing you said. “I’ll give you whatever you want; not whatever you fucking perve but-.”

“-I never even thought of it like-.”

“-Sure, you didn’t.” You interrupted. “But I got a friend in town, so I can always go and get you stuff. What do you want?”

He took his time thinking; so much time you were tempted to wake Mary up and beg her to let you sleep in her room (you knew she would've let you, but you didn't want to disturb her. You also never questioned your father why he didn't initially have you sleep in Mary's room; more than likely just to give her her own space). Finally, he answered.

“Chocolate and cigarettes.” The look you gave him would’ve made you laugh if you could see it. It only made him scrunch his eyes. “What?"

“That’s it?”

“I'm running out of both, big deal." He scoffed. "Am I allowed to change my mind after each time you pay me? Besides, when will you?”

You shrugged. “I can’t go out every day. I’ll see if he’ll let me the day after tomorrow, so I can stock up then. How about…every three days you wake me up, that’s when I give you stuff. Sound good?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

Holding out your hand, you were surprised he shook it right away. You looked him dead in the eyes when you said. “If any of them try to do anything to me while I sleep, I’m using their own pillow to suffocate them; that goes for you too, clear?”

“Crystal.” He drew his hand away. “I won’t say anything either.”

You nodded in thanks, standing up. Before you could tiptoe to the other room, you looked back at him. “Wake me up at six-thirty; he’ll wake you all up at seven.”

When you turned your back again, he asked in an unsettled fashion. “How?”

You knew that he hated the light flooding the room for a different reason now; to see your smile of mischief before you left.

#angus tully x reader #the holdovers #paul hunham #mary lamb #angus tully #academic rivals #Youtube

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inkdrinkerworld · 11 months

Note

A thought I had while watching top gun is in the scene when mav is like "don't tell me tell his family" and Bob looks sad I imagine that he's imagining someone having to tell his wife that he's dead 😭 the angst especially if they have kids / she is pregnant

omg yes!!

“don’t tell me, tell it to his family,” is replaying in bob’s mind all day.

he’s off, and everyone can tell he’s off.

“baby on board, everything okay?” even hangman’s voice doesn’t have the usual teasing tilt to it.

“p-peachy keen,” bob tries for nonchalance but the truth is, the thought of you having to come with your son to collect his belongings because he died on this mission is ringing like a bell in his head. R

hangman hums but they all move on with their day. bob isn’t there yet with his teammates to give them the whole rundown of your marriage and your son.

it lingers on his mind though. he doesn’t feel better till he’s parking in the front of the house and watches you open the door.

you notice something’s wrong with your husband immediately, bob knows you know when you stop your son from running across the yard and whisper, “wait till daddy gets to the door baby,”

“hi daddy!” bob’s miniature twin jumps on him and bob feels the ache in his chest dull slightly.

“hi buddy, you been good to your mama?” you ruffle bob’s gelled hair as you son affirms.

“and i helped her with dinner! we made,” he pauses, “mama, what did we make again?”

bob laughs then, heart light with the love of his son.

“we made daddy’s favourite, walleye.”

bob ushers you inside and locks the door behind himself.

“why don’t you go wash up buddy? and i’ll help your mama plate up?”

your son is wiggling out of bob’s arms in a flash.

you turn to bob and cup his cheek, “what happened today, robby?”

his eyes fill with tears behind his glasses, “something mav said,” you wait for him to continue in silence. “about us having to explain to the other pilots’ family and i just, i couldn’t stop thinking of you having to come collect my suit.”

“oh robby,” you coo, pulling him to your chest as your hand glides up and down his back. “i’m sorry that was on your mind today baby.”

you wipe his tears but know there’s really nothing you can say to get him not to worry about that. “i know you’ll do your best to make it back to us, i knew what i was getting into.” you say softly, feeling his nod on your shoulder.

“it just really got to me,” he says, wiping his cheeks before your son comes back out of the bathroom. “i love you, both of you.”

“i love you too,” you kiss him only to be interrupted by little feet pattering,

“mama, i want a kiss too.” bob chuckles as he pulls away and for now he’s comforted by the fact that he is home.

#bobfloyd #bob floyd imagine #bob floyd fanfiction #bob floyd one shot #bob floyd blurb #bob floyd fluff #bob floyd x reader #bob floyd x black!reader #bob floyd x you #bob floyd x yn #bob floyd x wife!reader #bob floyd

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imtooscaredforthis · 6 months

Text

Entrapment

Chapter Twenty Four: Unexpected

Mentions of: Dubcon/noncon themes, stabbing, death, and murder, etc.

A/N: some more pervy Johnny for you lmao

Tags: @dead-bxxxtch-walking @mama-miya @moonshineinasippycup @stwbwwychan @vandeaad @the-fandoms-georgie

“I feel like we haven’t talked in forever. How are you? How is everything?” Rachel asked as the two of you exited the building together and walked to the parking lot.

“I’m good. Work has been pretty good. Jed is a great partner.” You admitted with a shrug.

“I’m sure he is. You guys getting along good?” She asked with a teasing grin. “Yeah- what’s that look for?”

“Nothing. So you guys are close?” You don’t like where this is going.

“I mean, yeah- but..” You scoffed when you noticed Rachel’s smug grin. She’s onto you.

“Will you quit it? He and I are just friends. He’s like a brother to me.” You lied.

Rachel laughed at that. “Bullshit. I’m not dumb. I can tell when two people are fucking, and you and Jed totally are. But don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me. No judgment here.”

Before you could finish your conversation, the two of you split up, and she went to her car, while you walked home. You looked over your shoulder to make sure the coast was clear before you called after her.

“Jed and I aren’t- we’re not fucking, okay?! We’re just friends.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night, babe!” She called back. You rolled your eyes, shaking your head as you walked off, trying to ignore how flustered she had gotten you.

It’s fine. She won’t tell anyone. At worst she’ll just keep teasing you like this. Even if it was annoying, there wasn’t much you could do about it.

—

Once you got back home, you changed your clothes and had a glass of wine to wind down. But you didn’t relax, no. You never relax anymore. How could you when you know he’s still out there, harming more innocent people? Jesse, Lucia and Nate all deserved justice. You weren’t going to rest until you got it for them.

As you ate your dinner, you stared at the bulletin board you put up on your wall, with pictures of Ghostface’s victims, reports of his last sightings, and anything you could find. You managed to make some connections as to where he would find his victims.

You did find quite a few that went to Walleye’s but there were still inconsistencies here and there. All you knew was that most of them were average people, middle class and normal, which makes it even harder for him to figure out who he’s after next.

You stared at the board for a little while, before sitting down on your couch, running a hand through your hair. With all the time you had been spending with Jed, you haven’t been able to focus much on this. But today, he was out sick, giving you more room to think about Ghostface, even if you didn’t want to.

With a frustrated sigh, you grabbed the remote, clicking on the TV.

“Breaking news: Couple Marie and Carlton Thomas have been found dead in their home this afternoon.”

You stared at the screen in complete shock as a photo of them flashed onto the tv, listening as it continued. “The couple was found by a neighbor this evening when they noticed that their back door was open and their dog had escaped. They were stabbed to death, both having almost twenty wounds each. So the question we’re all wondering is: could this be another Ghostface murder?”

“We’re still figuring out motives, but the possibility is there. We’re working as hard as we can to catch this guy and all we can say right now is follow the curfew and lock your doors at night, and if you see anything suspicious, don’t be afraid to say something.” The sheriff said.

You couldn’t watch any more of this bullshit. You reached over and shut off the tv, sighing softly. Staring at the black reflection of the screen, you realized someone was standing behind you.

“Boo.” You sprung up from the couch, gasping in surprise. You turned on your heel trying to face him straight on. You moved so fast that you stumbled forward, causing him to catch you.

“Careful there, sweetheart, we don’t want you getting hurt do we?” Ghostface cooed in that same condescending tone. You tore yourself from his grip, glowering at him.

You stepped back into the kitchen, grabbing a knife and raising it threateningly. “Stay the fuck away from me.”

How did he even get in? How did you not notice him? He has been standing behind you while you were watching, and you were completely vulnerable. He could’ve easily killed you, but he didn’t. He was toying with you.

“Oh, come on, Dollface. Don’t be like that. I missed you. And from what I can tell, you missed me too.” He gestured to the bulletin board on your wall, before walking over to you. He took slow steps, like a predator ready to pounce.

Just because he didn’t want to kill you didn’t mean he didn’t want to hurt you..but you knew attacking him would only end badly. You lowered the knife slightly, but didn’t let it go.

He moved swiftly, grabbing your wrist and slamming it against the wall, making you drop the knife. “There you go. Good girl.”

“What do you want from me?” You couldn’t help but ask, angry and fearful. “What? Can’t we just have a nice little chat? You’re the one who pulled out the knife.”

He released your wrist, letting you go. “I think it’s time we catch up. You’ve been doing a lot lately, haven’t you? Had a lot of fun with your little Boy Scout?”

“Boy Scout? You mean-”

“Your little boyfriend? Jeb or Jed or whatever? The one who’s helping you write articles on me? Yeah, him. I’ve been watching you two..and you really seemed to be enjoying yourself, slut.”

You felt yourself grow flustered from humiliation and embarrassment. “Don’t hurt him.”

“Awww you want to protect him, how sweet. Don’t worry, toots. I’m not planning on it. As long as you behave, that is. Though I will say, I am jealous.” You felt his other arm hook around your back, the cool blade pressing into you and making you arch forward and into his touch, and his hand moved from your wrist to your chin, tilting your head upward while he examined your body.

“Such a pretty thing. I wouldn’t mind having you myself.” He pressed his knife into your back, forcing your waist to press against his, feeling his hardness.

He forced your shirt upwards, and you tried to stop him, but he smacked your hands away. He smirked. “No bra? How naughty.”

He eyed your tits, while you squirmed slightly in his grip, trying to get him to stop, but the harsh press of his knife and his groin managed to get you to still. His gloved hand caressed your breasts, before sliding down to your stomach.

“Yeah, we’re definitely gonna have some fun later.” You could hear the lust and smugness in his voice.

“What makes you think I would want to do any of that with you? I don’t even want to touch you! I hate you!” You hissed in disgust.

“Oh, I know you do. But you don’t have a choice do you? Not if you want your friends to live.” He leaned over and pressed his mask to your ear, his voice lowering. “You think Jed’s good? I’ll have you screaming and crying for me. And you’ll love it like the good little whore you are.”

He slightly ground his hardness against you, and you bit your lip to hold back a whimper. He removed his knife from your back, pressing it against your front instead. With the flick of his wrist, he cut your stomach, causing you to cry out.

“Just something to remember me by. Don’t worry, I’ll be back, and we’ll have fun very soon.”

He let you go, stalking off into your bedroom, and leaving out the side window onto the fire escape.

Yeah, you need to change your locks.

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itsagrimm · 1 year

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He who Comes from under the Water

Chapter 3 - The Fish, the Fox and the Fairy Lights

CN mentions of cannibalism in a fairytale-esk way, implied mentions of femicide, arranged marriage, sexism and patriarchy, talking animals, slight dip into paranoia, isolation, missing dead family and human connection, mourning process and grieving, talk of sex, talk of ‘virginity’ and insecurity, eating habits that could be read as pica behaviour, generally food and weight play a bit of a role here but not in a judgy way.

Much tanks to @queenquazar for editing and pointing out that yes indeed we can go more monstrous and that this is in fact very sexy and romantic.

Masterlist

Notes for better understanding at the bottom!

It became a silent ritual. You got up, dressed, and stepped into the garden after the knocks on your door. Every morning you collected a new pile of fish from König under the watchful eyes of the Heron. And with the fish, arrived a fresh stack of firewood and two buckets of water, ready for you at your doorstep.

Reliable and useful. It was a nice gesture…or a trap.

It made you uneasy.

Taciturn, you kept to yourself, mumbling a few polite words to the heron, and staying mostly around the house for the rest of the day. Now alone, you had plenty of things to do.

No one was there to share the work with you. No friends or neighbours to help with repairing the house or harvesting berries or sharing some of the household chores. Biting your lips, you laboured on alone, no longer crying yourself to sleep at night but falling asleep as soon as you closed your eyes.

The silence was the hardest. It broke you down more than any working day could. No words or gossip or laughter or songs filled the house anymore, grinding your need for seclusion down.

The only companion you had were your own creaks and groans as you struggled with heavy tools and an even heavier, lonely heart.

One day, you could not bear it anymore.

“Does König catch these fish, master heron?” You asked casually while walking through the grass, wet from morning dew, a big bowl already in your hands.

“Yes, he goes fishing. For you! The fox told me,” The heron replied and swayed on its spindly legs like branches of the willows in the wind, “The dirty furball insists on guarding you at night. Of course, he only does it for the fish he gets from the King if you ask me. He thinks it's clever and subtle.”

“And you? What do you get?” you asked as you kneeled to pick up the fish. Crucian carp and walleye this time.

The heron master cackled, the sound loud and teasing in the morning air.

“Maiden,” it said, “I may be a bird flying high above the King’s deep kingdom, but I fish on his waters – his kingdom is right below the surface I stare at for hours. Serving your husband and earning his good will is better than a fish or two from him. Besides,” It cackled again, “you will make a fine, kind queen. You share your food with me every day!”

You smiled politely, “Governed by the stomach are we then, master heron?”

“Aren’t we all?”

“Indeed. A chalice then, again?” you asked simply as you grabbed some wood for the cooking.

“It would be very welcome.”

You nodded before grabbing the buckets and closing the door behind you.

Alone again… to some degree. Except for a fox guarding you at night, a heron at day, and König visiting your house as you slept.

You had been right with the feeling of eyes on you.

Sinking in the chair, you stared at the bowl with fish. It was too much, far too much for only you to eat. Maybe König wanted you to cook for him as well? To share a meal, have a bit of company. He helped you, after all.

Like a husband would.

You shook your head at the thought.

No, you did not know him, did not know why he wanted to marry you and what he wanted with you. As far as you were concerned, he could still plan on fattening you up to eat later. You remembered stories of girls getting married, only to vanish. Why else would he bring you food but not visit you otherwise?

You pushed the thought aside, the air of death terrifying, threatening to cripple you now with memories too fresh to be just memories.

The pond was still too real.

You got up and started to pile up the wood. The heron was right. Everyone had something to gain, and you needed to know what a king from under the waters wanted from you.

You were just a peasant girl, you thought to yourself as you lit up the fireplace. No ordinary king from the cities knew of you or cared about this village, likely never even heard of it and certainly not about you. Kings married queens. Princes married princesses. No one married the poor bumpkin without a family. All you had was the flesh on your bones, the hair in your plaits, and the dress on your skin.

But König was no ordinary king.

He was no human.

And he chopped the wood for you.

The thought of the strange, tall man, collecting and chopping wood for you in the dark made you chuckle.

How royal.

How odd.

Was that what kings did?

You had no idea. What you needed was to learn more about him. You looked at the pile of fish and grabbed your knife. Maybe you needed to face your fears before the silence took you as the waters once tried to do. And maybe you could get to know your future husband a bit better over a shared meal.

This night you forced yourself to stay awake. Not lighting any fire or candle, you sat in your kitchen, wrapped in a scarf against the cold, and waited while sipping on your Sage tea.

Gathered by your mother and dried hanging from the roof of the kitchen, it calmed your nerves. It’s mild taste pleasant on your tongue, comforting and familiar.

You listened.

Outside the leaves rustled, the wind making the birch trees in the garden sway. The light steps of an animal walking close to your house, eating and smacking from the plate with fish left out, made you lift your head.

That must be the fox.

You took another sip.

An owlet cried somewhere in the woods, it’s “Kowitt, Kowitt!” hushed in the distance. It reminded you of your brother. He used to imitate all those cries, claiming one day he would learn all the bird’s sounds. He did not get to that.

Tock, tock, tock! The sound of wood getting chopped made you put your thoughts and your tea aside.

You got up, checked your plaits, and straightened your shoulders before grabbing your prepared package and stepping out of the house.

It was dark. The moon wasn’t even half full, so dark you could barely make out the steps down and into the garden.

“There, there. Here comes the bride!”

You stilled at the sound of the unknown voice.

“Is that you, master fox?” you asked into the darkness.

A rustling sounded before something warm pressed itself to the side of your legs and you smelled the little animal.

That definitely was the fox.

“Master?” the fox spoke with an amused ring, “So the heron was right. You are polite. No one ever calls me that. Say, why are you up and out at night, hm? It is dangerous for pretty women and future queens. You might run into monsters.”

“From my experience monsters care very little if the sun is up or down to be dangerous,” You replied. “But I could use some help walking at night. Would you like to make sure I don’t fall by accompanying me?”

The little animal around your knees shifted and smelled your hands. You felt a cold, wet, snout at the tips of your fingers.

“And where might you want to walk, eh?” the Fox said.

“To König.”

Immediately it stopped twisting and turning around you.

“Oh… OH!” The Fox exclaimed, “How romantic. Or stupid. In my experience, those two things can be very similar, hm? I will bring you to the king.”

For a quick moment the Fox left your side and stood in silence before a cold, wet snout at your shoulder nudged you onwards.

With wide eyes you moved.

“Don’t you worry, queen,” The fox rumbled somewhere above you, “I see well enough for two at night. You just walk.”

You nodded, too speechless from the tiny fox suddenly being tall enough so that you walked between its front legs, holding onto his fur to steady yourself.

“You are a brave one, eh?” The fox spoke.

“It is not like I have a choice.” You replied as you walked. “But, I am only putting out only one plate for you, no matter how tall you make yourself. I cannot have the heron accuse me of favouritism.”

A deep grumble erupted behind you, a laugh, you realised, as you stepped somewhere deeper into the forest. The ground changed from soft grass to roots threatening to trip you, despite clinging onto the fox’s leg.

“How stern of you, maiden,” The fox teased.

You walked on, further, and further, deeper into the woods, with the sound of chopping coming closer and closer, louder with each thwack.

Finally, the Fox stopped.

“King of all that is under the water!” The large animal rumbled through the dark forest, “I brought to you your bride. She wanted to see you.”

The chopping sound stopped, as an axe was driven down onto the wooden block.

“What a surprise! Here I thought humans sleep at night,” you heard König say, “Thank you, Fox.”

You felt the animal move and suddenly you were alone again in the dark.

“How are you, my bride?”

“I,”you started, thinking about what you could say before deciding to go with the most practical, “I cannot see you. Do you have a light?”

A chuckle, an amused human chuckle, sounded through the forest before you heard a few whispered commands.

You waited for a heartbeat in the dark, listening to the owlet cry far, far away now.

“There they are,” König spoke into the dark.

You looked around. Little swamp lights danced around the trees, coming closer with soft laughter and with it an alluring feeling of security. You felt your legs long to walk with them, wanting to go with those lights wherever they went, laugh and dance with them the whole night.

A hand grabbed you by the arm, breaking the spell.

It was König, his hand firm and warm on your skin.

He stood beside you, casting a long shadow with his frame.

You looked up, confused as to what happened.

“You must not go with the swamp lights, or you might drown for good, bride,” he muttered, “Do not look at them. Ignore them. Enjoy their light from afar, and you are safe.”

Dizzy from the light’s callings, you nodded, blinking slowly.

König’s eyes were light and reflective, like the water mirroring the moon. Aside from that, he looked human. A young man with a trimmed beard and kempt hair..

Good-looking.

Bashfully, you turned away. That is not what you came here for.

“Why are you here, bride?” he asked and tugged you to a fallen tree.

You sat down on the wood, and he took a seat on the ground in front of you. With his tall size you were near eye-level with him and his watery eyes.

“I wanted to see you,” you trailed off. You had made plans, thought up words, explanations, lies. Now, all gone and forgotten, you were left with nothing but yourself.

“Are the Fox and the Heron not treating you well? Did Ivar return after all, and I have not heard?”

“No. it is all fine,” You paused. König looked so real, so unlike the terrifying stranger haunting your mind when you were alone. Maybe you could marry this man and become what your grandfather had wanted you to become.

“Why do you want to marry me?”you ventured.

The watery, bright eyes blinked before settling on you again.

“The old man told me stories of kings- of kingdoms. What it is supposed to be like.” A soft smile danced over his lips.

“I am a king of a kingdom. I have all that is supposed to be of kings. All I am missing is a queen. That would be you.”

“So, you want to marry me because I accidentally became available to you? Because my grandfather offered my hand in marriage?”

“Yes.”

It was your turn to blink. Was that all to it? Was it just a swampy being playing king and you got caught up in it? No other intentions other than that?

“How is it supposed to work?” You asked, “I am a human. I am much smaller than you, and I need air.”

“I thought about it and have decided to build a new palace. That is why I have been so busy. It will be both in the water and on it. You will have to tell me what else you require to live except air. As you can see, currently, I am getting the wood ready needed for the foundation.”

He pointed at the fallen trees and chopped wood.

“And for the size – we can put you on a chair or something.” He eyed you up and down before adding, “maybe we put that chair on a box too. But it will work.”

“How?”

“What do you mean how? You will look taller that way.”

“What about when I am not on the chair and the box?”

Confusion knitted his brows.

“I don’t know. For what else do queens need to be representative for?”

You eyed him with confusion. You knew little about what queens were expected to do. But, you figured it included other marital expectations… bedroom expectations.

You felt your face turn hot.

“König,” you asked. “How do you think people marry among humans?”

He tilted his head, “I was told there is a feast.”

“And?”

“And then the bride and the groom stay together for the night.”

“Yes?”

“I suppose they have a good night’s sleep.”

“I doubt there is much sleeping going on during a wedding night,” You snorted.

“Oh,” He paused. “Oh. I did not know that.” He cleared his throat.

“We don’t have to do that.” He shrugged, “Who could tell anyway? And who would care to ask?”

You looked down at your fingers, your left hand nervously fumbling with the package you bought with you. Was it odd to know he was willing to lie to not… to not touch… not to feel… You were unused to thinking of yourself this way, assuming once you would get married, your mother and your already married girlfriends from the village would tell you all about this. But they were all gone, you were about to marry a man from the swamp, and all those things would always stay a mystery to you. You did not even know what it was you were missing, not even sure how to name it.

“Is that fish?” König asked, “ I smell fish. That is fish!”

Relieved for the change in topic you nodded.

“Yes, I wanted to say thank you for all the food you brought me. It is very thoughtful.”

You passed him the package.

“It’s not much but, maybe, you would like to have some din-”

The words stopped coming out of your mouth as König took the package and gobbled it up in one go without even unpacking it from the pressed birch bark.

With your mouth still hanging open you starred.

He bit down with a crunching sound on the fish and bark, his sharp teeth reflecting the swamp lights before chewing a few times with a thoughtful look on his face as if he was tasting something for the first time.

You closed your lips before you choked on the dinner invitation on your tongue.

“Ah, so that is how cooked food tastes like,” He finally stated after swallowing down with an audible sound, “Delicious. Thank you very much, my bride!”

He licked his fingers with a wet slurping sound and wiped his face from the birch bark crumps with those large clawed hands - hands that looked like they could snap your neck like it was a stick.

He burped before continuing.

“Pardon. It’s nice, easier to eat this way than when they still wiggle.”

Still fixing whatever face you were making into something less baffled, you mumbled an, “I need to go,” and got up.

König rose with you, whispering a few commands.

“The lights will guide you home. You humans can’t see in the dark, right?”

“Ah yes. Thank you.” You replied weakly and turned around to leave.

“Wait,” he called after you. “What was it that you wanted to say?”

You turned back. König looked at you, waiting patiently for you to speak. The terror was still in your bones, the crunching sound still ringing in your ears as he bit into the package like it was nothing. Was that what he could do with you too? Your body frail and fragile against the large and imposing König and he only waited for you to become his to do as he pleased with you and your body, consuming it whole like he had with your little gift?

“I-“ you began, fumbling with your now empty hands.

He waited as your heart raced fast against your ribs. A part of you screamed that you needed to run from this terrifying man who wanted to parade you around on a chair as his queen, ate like you had only seen in your recent nightmares and nearly drowned you. He was no human and commanded powers you did not understand.

But then he looked at you, a kind, patient face, who stood up for you when you needed it and was concerned for well-being.

It’s for now. I am safe until the wedding, you thought to yourself.

“I wanted to ask if you would like to have dinner with me, sometime?”, you said out loud.

XXX

Notes for better understanding:

- I use the word ‘plaits’ for readers hair to describe the braided hair style of the reader I know as ‘косы’. Since translating it as braids technically would have also been correct but invokes a different meaning for most English speakers due to distinct cultural codes, I used ‘plaits’. However, if you have braids or hair that can be braided, feel free to read the word ‘plaits’ as ‘braids’ or at least understand yourself as included in the description. This was very much a technical translation problem with words not being translatable 100% and ‘косы’ simply meaning any type of braided or plaited hair.

- some of you might not be aware of foxes’ smell. It’s a very strong and not pleasant to most.

- Female owlets cry ‘Kowitt!” which sounds like the german ‘komm mit’ / ‘come with me’. Therefore, it is said in German folklore that the owlets are birds of death wanting to take a soul with them or warning of the impending death of those who listen to it because it was heard so much around the dead and dying. Owlets and many other nightly birds of prey were hunted because of that in German speaking regions. The real reason for owlets crying around the dead is a different one: the lights of the wake for the dead drew the birds in at night.

- Sage grows wild nearly everywhere and is calming as well as anti-inflammatory. It is a medicinal tea so one should not drink it regularly due to it being very potent. Also, the sage reader is drinking is a native sage known as green sage so please don’t go and get white sage if you just want to have a tea.

- birch bark is a very versatile resource used in many cultures as a means to e.g. write on or to make other wares out of it

XXX

Taglist: @thesinsoflust @kdkj122920 @die-prophetin @lillianastuff @1234ilikecowsthanyoumore

#grimmwriting #könig #könig cod #könig call of duty #könig mw2 #könig x reader #könig x oc #call of duty #monster!könig #monster x human #he who comes from under the water #hwcfutw

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doodleduck · 1 year

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Dsmp characters as fish because a special interest of mine is northeastern game fish 👍

c!Ranboo - Brook trout (Salvelinus fontinalis)

Basically the loser of the fish community lmao. They are really sensitive to their surroundings. They need the water to be a certain pH and temperature in order to survive. They are migratory in order to fulfill those needs. They are also bullied by other fish (specifically brown trout) to the point where populations are dropping. They are one of the more timid and docile species of trout. They stick in small groups. They will become aggressive when feeding or defending their spawning nests. Brook trout also have some of the most unique and colorful patterns. Brook trout hybrids are common occurrences

c!Tommy - Largemouth Bass (Micropterus salmoides)

Largemouth are the fish that is in everybody’s business. They are very much in your face all of the time. Simultaneously both very smart and very dumb. They commit to one spot to make their nest and will defend it fiercely. They are picky where they put their nest and spend a lot of time maintaining it to keep it in good condition. They typically will live in the same body of water and not migrate out, but will change depths depending on the seasons and where food is located.

c!Tubbo - Smallmouth Bass (Micropterus dolomieu)

Basically the Largemouth’s little brother. They are very similar but the smallmouth are typically smaller and bit more docile. They are also arguably a bit smarter than the largemouth as well. They are also very territorial and will defend their nests. Their nests are also well kept. When defending or hunting, they fight like a tank. Although smaller than the largemouth they pack a bigger punch. Smallmouth are also more cold tolerant than other fish.

c!Phil - Walleye (Sander vitreus)

Walleye remind me of crows. They have terrific eyesight, which is why they have big eyes. Their unique eyes allow them to hunt at night. They have one of the greater lifespans and can live to be a couple decades old. Walleye spend time in schools with members similar to them. They like to lurk in deeper cooler water. They are more active at night and more docile during the day. They become aggressive when seasons change and they have to stock up for the winter

c!Techno - Bullhead catfish (Ameiurus melas)

Bullhead are similar to walleye and live in similar conditions. They like cooler murky environments to reside in. They are docile if left alone. They will become predatory and territorial if provoked or feeding. They have venomous spines on their fins which hurt like a bitch if you get stung (not fatal). They scavenge more than hunt and scrounge around the bottom looking for food. They fight hard and hit hard. And once they have something they are very determined to not let it go

c!Wilbur - Brown Trout (Salmo trutta)

Brown trout are actually invasive and are not native to North America, they originate in parts of Europe and Asia. But they have now established themselves as part of the ecosystem. They compete with the native species and often pose a challenge. They are typically bigger than other trout species and their competitors get shoved around a bit. Browns are smart and cunning, and are very successful hunters. They are arguably the most territorial species of trout

c!Quackity - Musky (Esox masquinongy)

Easily one of, if not the smartest gamefish. They are nicknamed “the fish of ten thousand casts” because they are very picky and know how to differentiate lures from real bait fish. They are hard to catch. Muskies are ambush predators and will eat anything that fits into their mouth. This includes waterfowl, rodents, and frogs. They are elusive and like to stick to themselves. Musky are very dedicated to their territory and will fight any intruders out

Yay fish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#disclaimer I am no professional biologist and I have heavily personified the fish lmao #this was fun I might do it with other characters #I ♥️ fish #yknow what fuck it I’ll main tag this one #c!ranboo #c!tommy #c!tubbo #c!philza #c!technoblade #c!wilbur #c!quackity #dsmp #text

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cartographers-office · 1 year

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Thwomps, Chomps and Bob-ombs, my theories on the artificial beings of Mario

Thwomps, Whomps, Bomps... The Mario universe has its fair share of sapient rock creatures. It has also many other artificial/metal creatures like Chain Chomps and Bob-ombs. I've often contemplated the nature of those mysterious beings, so here are my attempts at understanding them. This is a long one, so bear with me.

Now, before we start, I have a couple disclaimers to get out of the way that would help in understanding my ramblings:

1. There are a lot of speculative links between different "species": Many of the points I will bring up are only directly tied to one "type" of artificial being, e. g.: Bob-ombs having a spirit; seemingly lifeless Thwomps abandoned and overgrown, etc. I speculate that those characteristics can generally be applied to other types of artificial beings, e.g.: Bob-ombs having spirits means that Chain Chomps also have spirits, etc.

2. Possessed doesn't mean what you think it means: Simply put, I'll be using the word "possessed" or similar concepts to describe the way these spirits inhabit their artificial bodies. By that I don't mean possessor-type ghosts who jump in and out of furniture to create chaos. Imagine it as your own soul possessing your own body, the two being intrinsically connected since birth and mostly all the way up to death.

With that out of the way, let's start with their birth.

Thwomp birth: Thwomp Volcano

In Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time, one of the locations visited is the Thwomp Volcano, a mountain literally built out of unchiseled Thwomps of various sizes. We see those same unchiseled Thwomps being shot out of the volcano during its annual eruption.

“Own up! I mean, look at you! You're obviously all plumbers! Thanks to your meddling, my hubby's in a stone funk! Jumping into that volcano was his hobby, you terrible men! We've been waiting for the annual eruption all year!”

- Mrs. Thwomp, Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time

We also see a young professor E. Gadd studying the nature of the Thwomps and the mountain itself. That might not make much sense at first, given E. Gadd specializes in ghosts, but remember that Thwomps were literally described as ghosts in the English manual of Super Mario World.

A better translation of the Japanese manual (石のお化け “ishi no obake”) would be “stone spirits” or “stone demons”. I don’t mean to suggest they are literally undead people but more like a type of nature spirit in the world. E. Gadd is even described as an “obake researcher” (オバケけんきゅうか) in the original japanese version of Luigi’s Mansion.

“The name's Elvin Gadd. I'm studying the Thwomps and history of this here mountain. How'd all these stony fellers get here and why're they so darn angry about everything?”

- Young Professor E. Gadd, Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time

“Thwomp A nasty stone ghost that guards the castles and fortresses for the Koopas. If Mario comes close, Thwomp will try to crush him. The trouble is, if you don’t pass it, you can’t go on.”

- Super Mario World instruction booklet, page 25

I speculate that Thwomps are formed inside the volcano, where their spirits are born and gain a stone body from the cooled magma. I also believe that other similar species like Thwimps, Whomps, Walleyes, etc. are either born from the same volcano or from similar locations.

Chompworks Galaxy and the Bob-omb Factories

Although they might not initially look all that similar, Chain Chomps and Thwomps could have a lot in common, starting with their creation.

The Chompworks Galaxy is a location seen in Super Mario Galaxy 2, where Gearmos work to maintain a production line of Chain Chomps. The large bodies of lava present here might suggest that the creation of Chomps is tied to a foundry-like process, much like how the Thwomp Volcano would work in a similar manner, using molten rock instead of molten metal.

On a side note, Bob-ombs have also been shown to be factory-built, as we see in minigames such as Sort or ‘Splode from Super Mario 64 DS/New Super Mario Bros. or the Bob-omb Factory board in Mario Party 9.

Chomp Rocks and Stone Chomps

Another connection that can be made between Thwomps and Chomps comes not from the classic Chain Chomps, but rather a variant of them, the Stone Chomps. These stone variants are only found in Paper Mario, inside the buried temple of Dry Dry Ruins.

Given that the ruins themselves are very ancient and that the regular Chain Chomps in Tutankoopa's battle were brought by him, it stands to reason that these Stone Chomps are equally ancient and inhabitants of this tomb, unlike the Chain Chomps used by Tutankoopa, who was assigned by Bowser to guard the Star Spirit.

“This is a Stone Chomp, who guards the treasure in this room. He's made of stone. Duh!” “His jaws can supposedly crush a Coconut. I don't know about you, but I don't want to become a snack.”

- Goombario Tattle, Paper Mario.

Besides Stone Chomps, another hint at the true nature of Chain Chomps can be seen with the Chomp Rocks that are prevalent in the Yoshi series. These large round statues, placed across the island, might’ve once been living Stone Chomps (more on that topic in a moment). It would explain why they are so haphazardly placed, generally out in the wild.

My hypothesis on the nature of Chomps is that, like the Thwomps, Chomps were once naturally made out of stone. At some point in time, Chomps started being artificially built out of metal, with Chompworks being one such factory. These newer “models” were then named Chain Chomps.

Bobby, Chomp Shells and Thwomp Ruins

In Paper Mario: The Origami King, The Bob-omb Bobby shows us that they too have souls and can become ghosts, just like how Thwomps are “ghosts” (i.e. stone spirits). This means Chain Chomps likely have similar spirits too. Interestingly, while that shows us their spirit can linger on after their body is destroyed, there are cases where the opposite seems to happen.

The aforementioned Chomp Rocks might be empty husks of Stone Chomps, who have somehow left their bodies in the distant past. The same seems to be true for the Chomp Shell weapon from Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars (called ワンワンのぬけがら, Chomp Husks, in Japanese) as well as the motionless and cracked Thwomp husks found in places such as Thwomp Ruins from Mario Kart 8, Thwomp Desert from Mario Kart Wii and maybe even the Beanbean Kingdom in Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga.

Maybe this is as close to a natural death as these beings can get, or maybe they are able to separate from their physical bodies without the latter’s destruction. Personally I doubt the latter.

The Mario Party 2 board Horror Land features Whomps that become immobile stone statues during the night. Perhaps a similar effect is at play here.

Final Thoughts

Connecting all those dots, my theory is that Thwomps, Chain Chomps and Bob-ombs (and related species) all have/are spirits of some type. Thwomps and Stone Chomps are natural stone spirits, with Chain Chomps having come from Stone Chomps after they started being manufactured. It is unclear if Bob-ombs (and others like Bullet Bills) were once naturally occurring spirits like Chain Chomps or are fully artificially-made spirits.

When a Thwomp's, Chain Chomp's or a Bob-omb's body is destroyed, their spirit likely dies with it. But as shown with Bobby, there is a possibility that some of them linger on as ghosts. Perhaps the other ones return to their place of origin and receive new bodies. As I speculated in a tweet here.

It also seems like they might also "die" in some other way, leaving empty shells behind. Whether that is their way of dying from old age or possibly willingly is unclear.

Thank you for reading through the entire post! I'd like to thank @seandwalsh for helping put it all together. Make sure to check out the Marioverse Discord server and the Subreddit for more theories and discussions on Mario lore!

https://discord.gg/ARUSxjmcSS

#headcanon #fanon #super mario #thwomp #chain chomp #bob-omb

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