What the Hell is Ushi? (Long Post)
This is inspired by the new event and raised some questions with me concerning gameplay mechanics and official lore.
There are also minor spoilers for 2.7 below. Read at your own risk.
In Wanmin Restaurant . . .
Childe: So, hypothetically speaking, my narwhal is something that I can potentially communicate with?
Itto: (through a mouthful of noodles) That's like sayin' Beidou's serpents are alive because they can move. Does that make 'em alive? No!
Childe: (grumbles) Well, that doesn't make any sense. (turns to Diluc) If your summoned creature isn't alive, how does your burst work then?
Diluc: Huh. (contemplatively) I simply see my burst as an extension of my will, so I point it in the direction I want it to go and the things I want it to do and it does so. (pinches the bridge of his nose) . . . why are we talking about this again?
Itto: Zhongli and Ushi went out for some tea or something and Childe thinks that his whale can do the same, which it can't!
Childe: (inhales) Comrade, look. We both summon our respective familiars! That, in itself, is a critical similarity that you can't deny!
Itto: No, no, no! What you're talking about isn't how it works at all! I met Ushi first and then he stayed with me. Your 'whale-thing' or whatever's completely different!
Childe: (points a chopstick in Itto's direction) Then explain the whale song, comrade! If it wasn't alive, then how could it sing?
Diluc: (finishing a dumpling) (evenly) Well, just because the . . . beings summoned with a Vision show some signs of being alive doesn't mean that they are alive, let alone able to communicate with the user.
Beidou: (shrugs as she eats from a bowl of rice) Well, one of mine did try to bite me once, but then I simply willed them out of existence.
Itto: Well, there you have it! (puts his arms behind the back of his head) Besides, I think the Arataki Gang's auxiliary member is a whole lot better than a giant whale anyway.
Diluc: (sighs as he waves Xiangling over) Is it possible to get a pot of tea for us? We might be here for a while.
Beidou: (finishes her rice) Yeah, and can you also grab some more of that new stew you've got? It's awesome.
Xiangling: (cheerfully) Of course! It'll all be ready in about fifteen minutes! (rushes back into the kitchen)
Childe: (actually worked up) . . . no, no that can't make any sense!
Itto: (huffs as he finishes the last of his dumplings) Well of course it does! Ushi's a living thing and your whale isn't, end of story!
Childe: Aha! (suddenly stands up with a dangerous glint in his eye) Ushi obviously isn't alive!
Itto: (dumbfounded) What?!?
Childe: (almost fanatically) If Ushi was alive, then he wouldn't bamf away, and only summoned creatures can do that! (excitedly slams his hand on the table) Therefore, anyone who can summon a creature should be able to talk to them and others can too!
Itto: (pauses for a second) (shoots up out of his seat and points at him) Now hold on! Ushi isn't a summoned creature at all!
Childe: Well if he isn't, then what is he?
Itto: (crosses his arms and says confidently) An exorcist, obviously!
The entire restaurant goes dead silent.
Diluc: (facepalms)
Beidou: (desperately trying not to choke on laughter)
Childe: (deflates and slides back into his seat in disbelief)
Itto: (looks around the table) (loudly) What? You got a problem with that or something? Huh? Well, speak up if you do! (plops back down into his seat) Hmph!
The restaurant becomes more dead than silent.
Xiangling: (carefully puts the orders on the table)
Diluc: (slides a bag with a handful of mora in it) (mutters) Keep the change.
Xiangling: (nods in thanks and quietly leaves)
Childe: (to Itto) Comrade?
Itto: (gruffly) Yeah?
Childe: (tiredly) You're right. Ushi is definitely a living being.
Itto: . . . now it just sounds like you're giving up-
Beidou: (puts her hands up in peace) Now, now, we can ask the beefcake ourselves once he comes back. (starts eating her rice and stew)
Childe & Itto: (begins to attempt to speak)
Beidou: (hums loudly and appreciatively) Mmm. This is the good shit. (gestures to them) Eat.
Itto: (smells the rich scents and takes a deep breath) Sure, sure. Yeah. (preps a bowl for Childe without looking at him) Here.
Childe: (gratefully) Thanks.
The restaurant is revived of life and restored to its former vitality.
Diluc: (pours tea for the others) This tea pairs well with the stew.
Beidou: (takes a sip) Oh yeah, it really does! (teasing) Zhongli's rubbing off on you, huh?
Diluc: (smiles lightly) It can't be helped that I picked a couple of things up.
---
Meanwhile, at Yuehai Pavilion, Zhongli and Ushi are currently sitting at a table with some tea, the bull in question on top of a comfortable pillow.
Zhongli: So I understand that you've seen a thing or two in your longevity and experience as an exorcist.
Ushi: Moo.
Zhongli: (nods) Oh, absolutely. The Arataki Gang is a lively bunch indeed, especially when you have such a critical role within it.
Ushi: Moo, moo.
Zhongli: (raises his eyebrows) Really now? If you don't mind me asking further-
Ushi: Moo!
Zhongli: (assuredly) Of course, of course. If you would like, I will even sign a contract with you ensuring the mutual agreement of my silence concerning these matters.
Ushi: Moo . . .
Zhongli: (solemnly) As the saying goes, 'my lips are sealed'.
Ushi: (nods) . . . moo?
Zhongli: Why yes, I also feel the distinct sensation that someone somewhere is talking about me. However, I do not feel the need to act upon it as it is likely only in passing.
Ushi: Moo, moo. Moo.
Zhongli: As you should, Ushi. As you should. Now, back to the topic at hand concerning particular encounters with ghosts . . .
---
The instant that Ushi showed signs of intelligence and sentience, my mind practically dragged me to the blank post before the Genshin Impact Wiki. So of course, I wrote something about it injected with an unhealthy dose of my own brand of crack as you do with these sort of things.
Yes, Ushi's dialogue is comprised entirely out of 'moo' like Hoyoverse intended and they are absolutely up to your own interpretation. Also, Zhongli can totally understand him as he's a long-lived former Archon and because, quite frankly, I said so.
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