#we could use more kindness rn

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[chalkrub]

ode to the drowned rat. who’s hiding under there??

#my art #monster art #oc #baphy #(spoiler alert it's baphy. baphy is hiding under there) #anthro #kind of #these festival designs are very fun to draw....I said I wouldn't but I might design their actual appearances too #i'm redrawing them rn to be more detailed. baphy was first designed so naturally she gets first redraw #they all have themes for their costumes. baphy is a drowned rat. hence the writing saying drowned rat #i love shading things without thinking about light sources and just doing whatever the fuck #one last thing - hanging out with friends the other day and discussing which animals we thought we could beat in a fight #and only two of us thought we could beat a european badger. SAD #and then we were made to feel like WE were crazy for saying we would absolutely win against a badger in a fight #am i crazy for thinking i could destroy a badger in a fight. they're 30cm tall

[derpinette]

SPERG YOUR HEART OUT

#EVERYONE #NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #& FOREVER #i love it when my friends &/or mutuals post about their interest & Passions i will like your posts but really i Loved them. #i deleted some tags because they might be interpreted as weird(er than usual) but 0_0 i am ♯Passionate about ♯Passion (for fashion - Bratz) #still kind of feel like a worthless human being but i secured another hangout in like a week so yayyy ^_^ #I GET TO BOTHER SOMEONE TOO NOW i just wish people did that to me too why am i like always the one raving #literally have to beg my friend to give me updates on her things even if i normally hate it even i go out of my way to look for things #for us to discuss -_- GIRL please i am for real not just faking for politeness who do you think i am I WANT TO KNOW #so effin excited OMG i have like so much to say & the greatest thing is that this girl has no knowledge at all about my Thing #so i can explain from the very beginning You literally have no idea how much i practiced the conversation in my head #ever since she told me & she said she wanted me to go on & talk about it more i have been Devising My Plan #OMG YAYYYY ^_^_^_^_^_^ AIMU SO HEPI AAARRRGHHHHHGSJDJSHSJDHSHSG #& OFC i had to plug it in the first time i met her in person i just could not help myself there was an NF on that day & i told her i wanted #to catch it i had to go in the end for a different reason & BTW it was such a whiplash the show itself was so fun but the winner... 0_0 NO. #next i will ask her about berserk & maybe even read it so we can talk about it because she really likes it #i dropped it when i was 14 because the laptop i was using to read it was complete crap Just like mine is RN #like a section of my keyboard is completely dead T_T so i have to use the on-screen one...

[torgawl]

can we talk about sukuna and rika and why the king and queen of curses having a dispute is also narratively fitting? if sukuna is an heian era sorcerer with an antipathy and disregard of human emotions and the weak's will to live, blind to love and unable to comprehend the value of relationships with others then rika, as his counterpart, works especially well. rika is just a kid, or was just a kid. an innocent young girl who ended up dying tragically and saw herself transform into a vengeful spirit after being cursed by love. not only does she represent the weak (remember when sukuna's slaughter of women and children was implied?), she represents love itself. with her feelings lingering after death, she clinged onto her existence with the sole wish of protecting yuuta. it counteracts so well with sukuna's selfish will to kill time before his final breathe, which he admitted to be his will and motivation.

before i move on to my next idea, which let me preface by saying that it might be a little out there and dives into theory territory, i'm going to contextualise it with some information on the symbolism of "king and queen" that might help understand why this thought may make - at least some - sense.

in alchemy the king usually appears in conjunction with the queen, representing the sun-and-moon duality. in accordance with the theory of sulfur and mercury, which together, after alchemist purification, form the philosopher’s stone (also called the elixir of life, associated with rejuvenation and immortality), usually represented by the crowned hermetic androgyne (the union of the complementary male and female, achieving perfection or completion in the human state). according to jung, the king and queen also signify the spiritual conjunction that takes place when the process of individuation is complete, with the harmonious union of the unconscious and consciousness. jungian psychology has subjected the alchemistic tradition to extensive analysis and views the king less as an image of paternal authority and more as an archetype of higher insight and wisdom.

with that in mind, i think it's easy to understand where i'm headed but i want to add something else. remember jjk 0? geto's plan at the time was to obtain rika so he could use her power and move forward with his plan to annihilate all no-sorcerers. he believed her to be the key to achieve his goal and was willing to risk his own life for it. furthermore, the story is highly based on buddhist concepts and one of the core aspects of jujutsu kaisen is the cycles of suffering the characters are subjected to. in buddhism the goal is to become free of the samsara (continuous cycle of life, death and rebirth), eliminate suffering and achieve nirvana (enlightment). this ties withe the name of the series as kaisen is comprised of the kanji 'kai', meaning cycle, and 'sen', meaning battle, which combined with jujutsu (which means magic/sorcery but contains the word curse) describe the story as an endless battle of curses. and in a sense, the story also repeats itself, between generations and storyline-wise with the events circling back to how it all began. yuuta managed to land a fatal strike on geto once again, but now rika is pointed to be in a direct confrontation with sukuna as the queen of curses. now that i went through all the context needed to understand this, is it possible rika is once again in danger of being taken away? the idea of achieving a state of perfection with the unity between king and queen is quite intriguing. sukuna finally addressing yuuji as a worthy rival because of his unshakable resolve and unbreakable soul, is almost directly implying yuuji to be the one with whom sukuna has his last battle. an ultimate power-up (or the equivalent to), would be veyy cathartic before a final fight where yuuji would have the opportunity to finally go all out and have his well awaited and deserved protagonism (in my eyes, at least).

#so i guess my point is i'm not expecting sukuna to lose but i'm also not expecting yuuta to die (as of now at least) #i feel like it's not impossible that something happens to rika though #i kind of like that idea 😅 since that's not the original rika and yuuta is able to fight even without her #it's also quite funny that in the animal kingdom some females eat their counterparts and sukuna is said to be a cannibal #rika isn't human and i'm not theorising he will eat her but wouldn't it be ironic #and if jjk isn't a story full of irony idk what is #sorry for the random post #please don't trust what i say it was a random thought and i just thought it was fun to expand on it a little 😂 #i didn't even go through the chess symbolism we could also go through that route #the queen is the most powerful piece but the king is the most important. we could talk about checkmate. we could talk about the move where #the queen sacrifices itself for a more favorable tactical position which would also be interesting in the grand scheme of things #so yeah expecting interesting things from this fight not gonna lie #maybe this didn't make a lot of sense but you know what whatever i'm just having fun using my single brain cell rn bye 😂 #jujutsu kaisen #jjk leaks #sukuna #rika orimoto #okkotsu yuuta #jjk 💭

[secretlythatsme]

also i feel like "adoption bait" jokes are like,, only funny maybe once, and the reality of bruce is actually trying to Not bring in more kids but everyone after jason forced themselves into the family is Way more interesting for dpxdc fics. especially in bad fenton parents aus?

the thing is, bruce has a lot of hesitance with bringing new people in, especially kids because 1. they will not be safe even if they don't become vigilantes 2. they can't be trusted 3. it's a lot harder for everyone to hide who they are if they bring a civilian in and 4. bruce now feels responsible for the life of Another kid. like,, i get why people make the adoption jokes, but i think the angst potential is so much more interesting than "bruce and co immediately want to adopt danny".

like can you imagine an au with bad fenton parents and danny is still a teen and he's heard about how bruce/batman brings in sad cases. maybe, just maybe this guy could actually help him? give him a safe home? or maybe danny doesn't want to be adopted right away but slowly bonds with the family and eventually wants to be included. the heartache knowing that bruce doesn't want that to happen. like?? hello!!!

there's sooo much you could do with bruce not wanting more kids in the family!!! so much!!!

#again ik there's some tension rn with canon vs fanon but i really do think canon is more interesting #sorry alhdgla #like fanon tropes are really only fun if its like. a small percentage of fics imo #but when everyone is doing it and kind of toting it as The Truth it just makes things boring #and it makes it harder to talk about the actual canon dynamics #like bruce and the other members desperately not wanting more people to join is so interesting!! #and its not like a 'you cant sit with us' kind of attitude! its a 'this life is dangerous and people die all the time and adding more #makes us all feel guilty when we know they couldve had a normal clown free life without us' situation #thats actually a big reason why some of the bat.fam arent actually In the fam #like steph obviously has her whole thing with tim so that adds to it but also bruce straight up didnt want her there!!! #she had to prove herself!! #so did duke so did damian so did tim #like! #i just feel like the angsty bat.fam adopts danny aus could be so much more angsty if people knew about this #like the comedic ones are fine they can keep making adoption bait jokes #but the angsty ones? the serious ones? the ones where im supposed to believe the bat.fam are genuinely adding him in? #make him suffer!!!!! #SUFFER WHITE BOY SUFFER #aldgdlhga #i love how so much of this fandom is just Make Danny Suffer #real fun vibes #dcxdp

[youdeserveprison]

i’m absolutely not complaining about ttpd as an album, i love it even more than i thought i would, but i do kind of wish she would’ve waited to release it until after the eras tour was over so it could’ve gotten its own tour :/ like the visuals and the stage design and the outfits are just sooo good and not only is it being cut down into only seven songs so it can fit into an already massive setlist, but everyone who went to the shows in the us, mexico, south america, asia, and australia — aka a huge portion of the tour dates — didn’t get to see any of it live. like it’s so impressive that taylor was able to add the ttpd section into the existing setlist but i can't help but feel disappointed bc this means we likely won't get a ttpd tour, which is something i would kill to see </3

#i know so many people demand new content from her constantly but with everything she’s been doing we didn’t NEED this album so soon yk #i personally would’ve been fine waiting another year or even longer if it meant ttpd could get its own era #bc it’s kind of impossible for it to fully have that when she’s already a year into this huge tour #she’s already had to cut so many songs to fit everything (not even everything bc there’s no debut set) #with lover/folklore/evermore not getting their own tours bc of covid it makes sense why she did the eras tour instead of a midnights tour #but now that touring is an option again it would’ve been nice for her to slow down her releases a bit to really focus on new albums more #idk maybe this is a hot take bc ofc the eras tour is incredible and i do feel so lucky to have gotten to go at all #but i just really wish i could see ttpd songs live and it seems like i won’t get that chance until the next tour #which will likely be years from now and who knows how many albums she’ll have put out by then #rn all i can do is hope that she’ll add another us leg or something so i can see eras again with the new setlist #but that’s very unlikely since she’s already added shows in miami/indy/etc none of which i can afford travel for let alone resale tickets #no one’s gonna even see this but if anyone does i hope it’s not taken the wrong way bc she’s given us so much in the past few years #sorry for the essay i just love ttpd and i want to see it live </3 #lj speaks now

[poptartmochi]

in this house we love greek gods that preside over one specific thing and have fuckall to do for the rest of eternity <3

#sriracha.txt #creating some fuckt up little lady who presides Specifically over like. the point in which old crop is used to fertilize the new #thus playing into the whole cycle of life idea + giving her some foot to stand on as the kid of persephone and hades specifically #wrt the way old life supports the new? is this stepping on the toes of demeter and dionysus... yes... #but we pretend we do not see it.. i am overworked + low on spoons as it is and this is like.. niche lore for a character i am not paid to #play. i cannot dedicate much more effort to her. at least not right now #lament aside i think i will name her Rhoeas or something of that nature.. from what i can tell ῥόα is the word for pomegranates #which becomes ῥοιᾰ́ς for corn poppies.. #now sit with me boy 🕴 we lose the plot here a little bit + also extrapolate from wikipedia alone for this BUT. in many cultures poppies are #heavily associated with death and love alike. and ofc they grow in disturbed soil. #SO... if you look at the original myth with a modern + loose lens. i think you could justify some kind of poppy child being like #a bridge between demeter and hades.. she comes from the literal disturbed soil that came when hades abducted persephone #+ has ties with death and love + love that can endure death which can be a fun allusion to the way that demeter's love for persephone #persists even through persephone's stay in hades which houses the dead... do you feel me comrades #i think you could even apply it to persephone and hades themselves - a love that endures death? but naur offense hades is NOT the focus her #</3 🤪 coming back to this theme of like. love persisting through death and being sewn in the wake of death/disrupted soil. we come back to #the anchor point of her character which is the old dead crops being used to fertilize the new growth. it's the love the dead has for the #living right!! to help it grow in a new and difficult world! i think that itself ties back into the central theme w the poppies #and also demeter has ties to poppies so i don't think it would be crazy for some grandchild of hers to have ties to poppies :-] i think thi #all somewhat feasible if you reaaaalllly squint. anyhow i'm too tired to go any further with it rn #corylana

[toastsnaffler]

my flatmate asking me the day before "do u want to hang out w me and [old friend] everyone else cancelled so I can invite u now" is not the heartfelt offer she thinks it is :^/

#what am i sloppy seconds. fuck off man #i like them both but im not in the place to socialise rn + also it just feels kinda mean. theyve had these plans for weeks #and i wasnt invited bc some of their other friends (who ive never met) didnt want me there which is fair enough ig #even tho their friends complained abt someone else bringing her bf but they both blocked the veto for that. pretty sure ik them- #better than some guy but whatever. i dont rly like their friends anyway bc they only ever have bad things to say abt them #like damn they sound like they have the emotional range of toddlers plus theyre all into shit like genshin. so i wasnt fazed abt it #hope they have a nice time etc but wow sure now theyve cancelled the day before u can invite me as a replacement. yeah thatll do wonders #for the social and self esteem issues i have around being single use and disposable and always on the outside etc yippee #the thing is if i go theyll just talk to each other anyway and leave me to be the fly on the wall like they always do. they dont want #me there they just want an audience i literally have nothing else to contribute i dont think they even like me that much so! #anyway complaint over. genuinely i hope they have a nice time im just annoyed at being treated like that + probably projecting a bit too #its not like i could go if i wanted to anyway bc i have shit to sort out + mail to wait for. maybe next time invite me from the start huh #we had another old friend visit last weekend but those plans were really made without me too and i was just added bc i Live Here so its #kind of unavoidable. but oh well whatever it was nice to see them either way #im too depressed rn to fix my social life or even rely on existing coping strategies in social situations so im having to temporarily #cut it back bc i get too trigger sensitive + dont want to hurt myself or others bc of an arbitrary emotional overreaction #its usually one of the first things to go when im Going Thru It not in a self isolating way but more bc its one of the hardest things #for me to maintain + im pretty self sufficient so its not absolutely crucial. like of course i love my friends but socialising is a #want not a need yknow. eating/sleeping/exercising/hygiene are all more fundamental parts of the engine so i gotta prioritise them #and it sucks but ill survive. anyway sorry for venting on everyones dash so early in the morning i woke up grumpy 👎 #i need to get breakfast and then go out. ughhhhhhh okay. #.vent

[fandom-data-scientist]

a few months ago, i installed a userscript that will automatically apply saved filters to whatever search you're making; however, because it was first made in 2014, the way it actually works is that it applies filters as if you were plugging something into the "search within results" box, which will not actually filter out tags, but rather, keywords present anywhere in a fic and its metadata.

this is not very useful on its own, considering the fact that most everyone likes ao3 so much for its robust tag filters. fortunately, there remains an old-fashioned search method from the time before native exclusion filters existed on the site, which allowed people to use "-filter_ids:[integer]" in the "search within results" box to exclude tags proper, as we expect them to work today.

there are, of course, other methods of having sticky/saved filters on ao3, such as bookmarking one's url after applying all the filters you desire to a particular search, but then that requires not only inputting all my filters again when i enter a new fandom tag (thereby necessitating maintaining a reference list), but also maintaining a bunch of bookmarks for everything i might want to regularly check, which. like. boooooo

anyway, another reason i like that userscript so much is bc a while back i learned that the ao3 advanced search box runs off apache lucene to parse its queries, meaning that you can actually get incredibly fine-grained with your requests. for example, to filter out both "slow burn that is complete and under 50k" and "slow burn that is in-progress and under 10k" while leaving all other slow burn fics in the same search:

-(filter_ids:103132 AND complete:false AND word_count:[* TO 10000]) -(filter_ids:103132 AND complete:true AND word_count:[* TO 50000])

or you could develop a whitelist for the tags you're filtering by using "!", like filtering out all ocs unless they're by a particular person:

-(filter_ids:2927 !user_ids:[integer])

point being, the ao3 advanced search box is very powerful, the possibilities are endless, and i am married to that saved filters script these days.

however, i am also a picky little bitch, and i have somewhere around a hundred tags i have automatically filtered out for my current fandom, and about forty additional tags that i have filtered out everywhere. the saved filters makes it a lot easier to maintain these filters, but also i'm lazy about appending new tags, and they can be hard to dig through if i want to take something out for whatever reason, so recently i've been putting together a spreadsheet that will automate the queries i want copy-pasted into the saved filters input box.

most of it has been simple, just maintaining a sheet with the name and filter_ids number of what i want filtered unconditionally, but for the more complex requests, uh.

(this one is supposed to say "22 !(176 || 110)")

(this one is supposed to say "((22 !(176 || 110 || 49838047)) AND expected_number_of_chapters:[5 TO 25]) || [further queries])"

........well, it's going!!!!

one of my friends says i should publish the spreadsheet when i perfect it, since even tho most people aren't as picky as me, it'd be nice to showcase ao3's fullest capabilities with it. for various reasons, it likely won't be much use to most people as a spreadsheet, but i've been Considering maybe figuring out how to make a userscript (or maybe even a firefox extension, if i can get permission from the people who made the relevant bookmarklets/userscripts to use their code And Also figure out enough js for that), so idk. stay tuned for that, maybe!

#long post #spreadsheet blogging #sorry this post is so long. if i don't provide an excruciating amt of context for everything i do i will die. #i make absolutely no promises regarding a userscript or extension but also i like doing console.log on everything but also js is suffering #i looked through ao3's source code like... i guess three days ago now? looking for all the different hidden search operators #i'd done so before bc i wanted to know why we had otp:true but can't filter based off the number of rlshps tagged in a fic #anyway there are quite a lot even tho most of them are not especially useful imo #did you know you can filter for works based off what workskin they're using? kind of wish we had more public site skins tbh #i also wish we could use more css in workskins bc rn they don't let us do @media queries #so it's hard to make nice or really cool skins that also look good on mobile... le sigh #my libreoffice crashed like at least three times today. when will i be free

[pepprs]

not to be a pain-crazed wild animal. i KNOW i do this every time. but p*riods are so fucking crazy. like my cr*mps are so bad my body is trying to strangle itself but im awake and i need to be at work in 2 hrs and get thru an entire 9 hr workday as if im not in excruciating pain and im gonna bring my heating pad and my p*in r*lief cr*am if you catch my drift (💀) and i’ll need to use them DURING a busy day in which i will not see any other ppl who get periods in person and using them is gonna be a whole awkward thing. like omg. this is not fucking normal lol

#purrs #it is normal obviously. but it’s SO fucking frustrating like omfg the amount of time i lose every single month to being in pain like this #FOR NO REASON and like half the global population has to deal w that and it’s like it’s nothing. idk. despair and suffering and misery #delete later #menstruation tw #the thing that really gets me abt it is how my mom (ik i said i would stop complaining abt her on here but we have been fighting all month #LOL so im giving myself permission) gets so fucking pissed at me and my sister when we’re in too much pain to do chores bc she thinks we’re #being lazy / making excuses and then she compares us to o it brother like.. omg um YOU should know how painful this can be first of all and #second of all why would you even make that comparison when he doesn’t lose a third of his life to his body trying to tear itself apart! lol! #and yes i could work from home or calll out sick but consider: i am mentally illabout not being at work. which * is gonna be on my ass abt w #when they hear me say that bc i know im gonna make a whole awkward big deal abt my heating pad. UGHHHHH embarrassing lmaooooo #like why do people have REGULAR B*DILY F*NCTIONS!!!!! REGULAR!!!!!!! that REGULARLY put them in this amount of pain and we have to just deal #with that like it’s nothing and be discreet about and whatever. ew i sound like um… someone who cares too much abt stuff like this lol but I #im so mad abt it rn like oh my GOD can the pain just not be part of it can we just evolve to get rid of that or put structures in place in a #society for ppl to be more accepting / supporting / whatever of it. please please please please please #(also goes for more than just p*riods btw. like imagine if as a society we had things in place for ppl who are regularly in #chronic ​pain of any kind 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 what a world that would be 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 wow i sure hope it happens in my lifetime 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍)

[solarsaurus-sex]

do u think i should ask my friend if he'd be down 2 let me pop my pegging cherry on him. just so i can see what its like.

#pls. #god. #killing myself #coming back normal #see i think it would be good on him coz hes experienced it already and were into similar things and theres no possibility of smth between u #so if he lets me practise on him and guides me around a little bit just to get an idea of it #then thats awesome #i love this guy coz theres literally no possibility of romance or feelings its so freeing its like yes god thank you #which ironically opens up for MORE opportunities like this #like i feel more open to doing dirty stuff or other such things with ppl when i know that theres no way we could catch feelings #like ew lol #once you put any of kind of relationship marker on it it makes it feel like its an obligation which ruins it #DONT RUIN WHAT WE HAVE just be normal. god #if i can just have some history of pegging and using a strap 😭😭😭😭😭 then in the future when im looking seriously #so im not walking in blind like 'hey ik i seduced u into this bed that were in rn but just as a forewarning ive never done this before' #ARE YOU CRAZY no way i would leave #patrick pls be my muddle dummy PLS #its the most shameful thing. i dont wanna ask for it.

[latinokaeya-moving]

the issue with genshin lore is that it has established time and time again we cannot take any given source in game as unalienably true not even stuff like basic narration in character stories and in fact you often should not because a lot of the information provided is written or told from the point of view of completely fallible not-all-knowing individuals that only says as much as they Could possibly know in their own position existing in the genshin world, which means you have to constantly be making assumptions and taking leaps of faith to try and piece together concepts as basic as “who the hell even gives vision holders their visions”.

like i think this is very cool personally and it’s been made a super obvious Theme that they wanna explore within the game with shit like zhongli’s entire first story quest or the existence of that sumeru scholar guy on watatsumi who is actively rewriting enkanomiya history bc it’s what he believes is right, but then this tendency often results in a lot of vague/subtle information that hasn’t been fully explained in game (bc genshin hates progressing its own story and expanding on things apparently) being forcefully made to “make sense” in an easily digestible way so players can understand the story and/or worldbuilding in simpler terms. which is a noble cause but then all it does is spread info that has never been confirmed to be true as factual canon and then ppl have annoying long ass arguments about this stuff over who is right and wrong wrt to random pieces of genshin lore when all along the only true to game answer we have rn is “we literally do not have enough info on xyz thing yet to say either way oh my god”

#x #gi posting #everyone and everything in genshin is an unreliable narrator lol #this was specifically a result of me thinking of kaeyas lore and how many assumptions we have to make to reach any kind of conclusion #or understanding regarding what exactly he was even sent to do in mondstadt #bc the fact of the matter is we don’t fucking know and it’s so infuriating to see the implication that he was obviously sent to ‘destroy #mondstadt’ he treated as absolute fact when we don’t know that!! #we don’t know or understand the full extent of the goals and circumstances of the faction of khaenriah that kaeya came from at all #like theres dozens of possible theories regarding what they could possibly want from kaeya #from being an active ‘spy’ to acting as a sort of trojan horse to just being a pawn meant to be collected on the day of #reckoning LIKE #i even saw a more benevolent n sympathetic idea that kaeya was planted as their last hope n that his only mission was to live n thrive bc #maybe his group has little chance left wherever they’re residing rn + dealing w the curse n stuff #like no one has told us what kaeya is meant to do!! we don’t know! we’re just making wild guesses n being like yea that makes the most sense #n running with it which like sure fine that’s the whole point of genshin theorising and speculation but it drives me nuts when ppl treat it #like an absolute lmao

[synonymroll648]

absolutely evil fic idea! sophitz soulmates au where post-war they reconcile but also find out that fitz won't make it to 100 due to the severity of his shadowflux echoes and the reason sophie kept surviving seemingly impossible odds was because the black swan 'accidentally' made her immortal.

to make things extra cruel: consider how fitz canonically counts on having thousands of years ahead of him to build himself a future he enjoys, and how sophie canonically struggles w/ the idea of living forever due to her human upbringing (plus the canon-compliant possibility of her hearing ten bajillion tales growing up of how immortality is a curse) :D

#i love love love soulmate au's. usually for the fluff. but this. this... #this intrigues me conceptually so much that i think exploring it would be worth the pain #i have way too many wips rn to write this. but #that doesn't mean i can't share it w/ you guys :) #i just keep thinking of how the tables of 'fitz comforting sophie about living forever because he'll be there' will flip #and it could flip in SO many ways #it could be sophie comforting fitz about death being inevitable because she grew up around death #and knows that death can be a well deserved (fairly) happy ending if fate is kind enough and you play your cards right #but it could also be them being so so so openly envious of each other's lifespans #like we could have a screaming match in the dead of night where fitz is like #how the FUCK is it fair that we both have echoes but I'M the only one that's doomed to die young because of them? how the HELL do you have #ANY right to speak on this? on how i should deal w/ having THOUSANDS OF YEARS RIPPED OUT OF MY HANDS? #and sophie's like well i don't know fitz! how the FUCK is it fair that you're the one that gets to have a finish line? how the HELL am i #supposed to be happy about NEVER getting to stop? about ALWAYS having to be the moonlark? about INEVITABLY LOSING EVERYONE I LOVE BECAUSE #THEY'LL BE DEAD? #honestly you could have both. you SHOULD have both. imo. hurt/comfort babyyyyy #also. if you want. you can have this be a thing where the immortal falls in love w/ the same soul again #but fitz never comes back as an elf. always something mortal #also when fitz dies. having a throwback to the search and having one of them go 'fuck time. fuck death. i'll find you again and again' #less 'death cannot do us apart' and more 'death can only separate us temporarily' #also. sophie having to watch fitz deteriorate from the golden boy she knew to barely hanging on to life. and fitz having to deal w/ #sophie never changing in any physical way #don't you love feeling sad guys? angsty if you will? /t #sophitz #sophie foster #fitz vacker #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc fic idea #sophitz fic idea

[gayseyjones]

My number 1 toxic trait is genuinely enjoying #dark sam and max shit... the original stuff is already edgy w it's suicide jokes and whatever (which I also enjoy. unfortunately) but also I like takes on it that like. confront homophobia and abuse and shit like that bc honestly why not I might as well be into deeply cringe edgy shit before I graduate #livelaughlove or something

#💖 #and of course i dont mean stuff that just uses said homophobia and abuse for cheap plot... #there is some stuff that genuinely talks about the two ajd other topics as well like. actually well its kind of surprising #holdon i really wish i bought some candy at the store rn i want some. sorry anways #i think more Edgy takes on like. silly media can be done well the problem is everyone tries to push the edge too hard #i think i prefer like... a derivative of kids/silly media earnestly and genuinely talking about stuff like oppression and mental health #while still keeping some dark humor #over a deriative thats like. ahhh!!! this cute small cartoon character is bleeding!!!!! #bc why not. what do i have to lose #we r all going to fucking die might as well read sam and max fanfic about max having internalized homophobia. who cares #also i really wish i could shorten sam & max to s&m without looking weird

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

When I first started this blog my worst nightmare scenario was getting callout posts made about me and everyone hating me but like it's been years and I haven't seen shit!!! And I know I've said some dumbass shit on here

#random thoughts #like the closest ive gotten is vague posts and people correcting me in the notes/reblogs of my own posts #which to the second group of people i appreciate you ever so much smoocharoo from me to you #i will adjust my behavior accordingly #but also??? i kind of want the drama being called out would have #partially because my ideal life would be having a person who is always my superior correcting me all the time #so i never do anything wrong again #which like. unhealthy but go off #but also i just want the DRAMA. the BLOODSHED #like i used to make so many misandrist posts!!! i don't give a shit about anti drama!!! I HAVE A CANNIBALISM TAG #WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT FROM ME #like actually i could not give less of a shit because i have like. school and a job don't bother me with internet drama #but also when im online im DEDICATED. and that's the mood im in rn #im trying to think up more stuff about my personality that's problematic #i mean we could just do a thomas sanders and have me make a post about asexual acceptance and have everyone kill me on the spot #but like im asexual that doesn't really work #it'd be so funny if there is a call out post or like a youtube video about me that im just blissfully unaware of #cuz like. i never check my ask box #no one ever sends me stuff why would i check it #back to problematic shit i once got in like a very public argument with a trump supporter on here and i kept responding with cow facts #ummmmm the only close friendship i had on here ended with the other person going offline and i haven't seen her since #and for a while i blamed myself for it #and she asked me to delete our correspondence so i did so if she or like anyone else faked messages between us to make me look bad #i wouldn't be able to defend myself #plus i probably said some bad shit i was like fourteen and in the midst of remembering some shit that happened when i was young #honestly like most of my life pre-16 is a blur #probably forgetting a lot of bad stuff i did

[chisatowo]

hey just wanted to let you know that your art is amazing, you're a really cool person, and you deserve to have a great day. hope things get better for you happy birthday :]

Ty :] and I think things should get better dw ^-^

#rat answers #I think Ill be fine later today hopefully just need to wait for my sibling who abandoned me for a sleepover to come home tomorrow /j /lh #were also having tostadas tomorrow so thats smth to look forward too :> #amd presents ofc I doubt Ill be getting a whole lot since I didnt ask for a whole lot but Im still excited noneoftheless #well not fully rn just because of brain stuff but I have been and hopegully will be more so later #oh also cake but I will say I kind of wish I could have a cake without frosting but alas bday tradition needs it 😔 #for context on each of our bdays me and my siblings decorate the bday persobs cake #I dont rly like most frustings and the homemade one we will be using as the main frosting is good but I preffer cake without it still #its ok though as long as they keep the frosting doodles contained fndkfbd #I dont like the taste of decorative frosting at all lol #I also asked for an electric bass so if I get that that will be incredibly pog but I dont wanna get my hopes too high fjfndjd #I should rly try to just sleep now sorry for rambling abt bday plans fkgndjd