#we dont need to be close in fact we dont even have to be mutuals i just feel like doing one last mass postal mission before i move hehe

[mrdixon]

sorry, i still love you

pairing: established daryl dixon x f!reader

wc: 1.8k

summary: soft apologies and kisses, or alt; your boyfriend is quite cute in a poncho.

warnings: slight angst…?

A/N: love daryl, love poncho daryl. need him to wrap me up in his big strong arms under his poncho…….. short fic SURPRISINGLY it being under 3k words shakes my bones but its okay because not all my fics have to be astronomically long………. also 100% not proofread im sorry i literally dont have the patience to read over my own work

masterlist!

It was a late night and you couldn’t sleep like usual. Sighing as you turned your head over to the window, slightly cracked open and letting a breeze through, the faint smell of wet grass from the rain filling your nostrils. The sky was dark, save for the twinkle of the stars and moon. You turned your head over to the nightstand, the clock reading 2:24 am, your gaze then travelling over to an empty picture frame that had a polaroid of you and Daryl wedged between the glass and frame. Picking it up and taking the polaroid between your fingers, it was during your stay at the Greene’s farm a few years ago.

You two didn’t know it yet but there was mutual feelings stirring up between you two, the photo capturing the moment you convinced Daryl to be in a photo with you. His grumpy expression didn’t hide the small smirk tugging at his lips as you wrapped your arms around him. You smiled fondly at the memory, still hearing his irritated grunt as you ushered him over to steal a picture. Tucking the photo back into the frame and setting it down on the nightstand you stared up at the ceiling, wondering where your boyfriend could be.

It wasn’t out of character for him to be out this late but it still worried you. It was normal for you to be unable to sleep without his warmth next to you, worrying about the worst. You tried really hard not to think about him getting bit but you couldn’t help it, he was capable of taking care of himself so why did you worry so much?

Sighing once again, you sat up, grabbing your necklace that held his initial. Biting at the small piece of metal, a thing you did when you were anxious, tasting the metallic tang. It wasn’t usually this hard for you to fall asleep without him, most nights you’d fall asleep at around 12 am. You were scared mostly.

You and Daryl had been going through a rough patch, most your time together was full of meaningless banter and arguments and you regretted it. It was hard to stay mad at him but you were stubborn, you both were. That fact alone was enough to drive you crazy because one day you’d argue and he wouldn’t return home, either because he got bitten or just got fed up with you. Nevertheless you were trying to change, you didn’t want either of you to die thinking you hated him because you didn’t. God you loved him so much, more than you thought was possible. More than those stupid pair of socks he got you on a random supply run, more than your morning cup of tea, even more than yourself.

You groaned, falling back onto the bed and closing your eyes. There was so much you wanted to say to him, to apologize for being an asshole, to tell him you really did love him. You opened your eyes slightly to look at the bedroom door, still closed… still waiting for him to walk through at any moment…. nope, still not home. You grumbled while placing your hands over your face and kicking your feet, taking a deep breath and rolling over onto your side. Okay, try to sleep… we can sleep… you’re sleeping… your eyes are closed… right?

You groaned again, almost frustrated at yourself for not being able to sleep. Finding yourself quite annoying at how dependent you are of Daryl. You sighed quietly, looking over at his side of the bed and running your hand across it. Empty and cold, the last time you saw him there was in the morning. Right after you argued about something so stupid you couldn’t even remember what it was, still seeing his bare back adorned with scars and tattoos as he got up and left to go out again. You swallowed thickly as you remembered how harsh you were earlier, now deciding to just stay up until he comes home. Wanting to apologize and just kiss him because when was the last time your lips felt his?

Suddenly you heard the door open, sitting up immediately and locking your eyes with the man who occupied your mind at all times. Daryl stood there at the door for a moment, his poncho draped over his body. A cute sight, he looked so small contrary to the fact that he was in fact, not. He stared at you skeptically as he placed his bag down on the floor next to the laundry bin.

“Wha’ are ya doin’ up?” He grumbled, slowly walking over to you and standing next to the bed where you sat. You couldn’t help but look up at him with a giddy smile, feeling relieved and happy that your boyfriend was finally here.

“Couldn’t sleep,” you replied simply as you looked him up and down, “you look so cute.” Daryl raised a brow, his eyes narrowing slightly as he took in your words. He didn’t really know how to respond to compliments from you, especially after your argument this morning.

He scoffed lightly, a tiny smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Cute? Really?” he murmured, his voice laced with amusement, “ain’ tha’ somethin’.” You giggled, reaching out to take his gloved hand in yours, his fingertips exposed as you ran your nails over them.

“C’mere,” you whispered, holding your arms out. He hesitated for a moment before kicking his boots off and moving into your arms, the two of you falling back onto the bed. His arms wrapped around your waist and held you close, his face buried in your shoulder while your own arms wrapped around his back.

The two of you lay like this in silence, it was rare for you two to share moments like these. Often times you were too scared to touch him, afraid he’d push you away. It was never like that for him, he craved your touch as much as you craved his. You both were just too worried about what the other might think that neither of you decided to make any moves. Tonight was different though, you lay there enjoying each other’s company without saying a word.

You heard him breathe in, nuzzling his nose against your shoulder. Finally he broke the comfortable silence. “You really don’ sleep much, do ya?” he asked, his voice low and gentle.

“Nope,” you whispered, nuzzling your face into his neck. “I miss you when you’re gone.” He hummed in response, squeezing you tighter as his body relaxed in exhaustion. You giggled before moving yourself under his poncho, poking your head out from where his was, you two sharing the poncho now.

Daryl felt a sense of contentment as he watched you snuggle closer to him under the poncho, your body heat filling him with love and desire. Wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you closer, using his other hand to stroke your hair gently and tilt your head up slightly to look into your eyes.

“Yeah, well I guess tha’s fair. We both got used to havin’ each other around,” he admitted softly, looking down at your lips and then back at your eyes while running his fingers through your hair affectionately. “It’s kinda hard ta go back ta bein’ alone after all the time we spent together.”

You nodded, letting him pull you closer to him. Your chest pressing against his as you both stared into each others eyes, his gaze wandering over your face as he tucked strand of hair behind your ear. He sighed, feeling his breath against your face. Despite everything you’d been through together—the fights, disagreements, banter—he knew he still cared for you, he still loved you. And right this moment he couldn’t imagine wanting anyone else by his side more than he wanted you.

“’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry.”

You both murmured at the same time, shock evident in your expressions. He nibbled his lip, rubbing your chin with his thumb, eventually grazing the pad of it over your bottom lip. “Guess we’ll jus’ have ta make sure we never lose sight of each other again,” he mumbled, voice thick with regret.

You looked up at him, meeting his eyes as you reached up to comb your fingers through his hair. His gaze immediately softened and he let out a small huff while admiring your features up close, his fingers tracing over your jaw. He seemed to melt under your touch, slouching over which caused his face to lean closer to yours. He looked so cute like that, his bottom lip jutted out into a slight pout, his expression resembled a puppy.

Your hand stilled in his hair, pulling him closer and diminishing that small gap between you two and pressing your lips against his. If even possible, he seemed to melt even more, closing his eyes and kissing you back with equal need and affection. His hands gripped your waist tight but gentle under the poncho covering both your bodies, one hand holding the back of your head. He kissed you fervently, fingers digging into your hair as he swiped his tongue over your bottom lip before reluctantly pulling away. Looking down at you, his expression one of affection and vulnerability.

“Sorry, I still love you.” You whispered, your noses rubbing together, “I love you.” You repeated, the words hanging in the air like a weighty secret, heavy with adoration. He stared at you before slowly closing his eyes and pressing his lips against yours once again, the kiss gentle but passionate. Your fingertips held his jaw, your thumbs absentmindedly caressing the stubble on his chin.

“I love ya too,” he mumbled against your lips, his voice hoarse and raw with emotion. “More than anythin’ in this world.” His eyes graced over your face, still having that slight pout as he encased your face in his hands, kissing you again. Your eyes fell closed while your fingers ran through his hair, finally pulling him flush against your body. He kissed you slow and gentle, a hand rubbing up and down your back which sent shivers down your spine, his other hand occupied at the base of your neck.

Eventually, you both had to pull away for air, but your eyes remained closed as he pressed his forehead together with yours. Exhaustion rushed through your body and he could tell, pressing a kiss to your forehead before holding onto your waist and the back of your head, flipping you both over gently so he lay on his back. Your cheek pressed between his chest and collarbone as you lay on top of him, still under his poncho. He caressed your head gently, kissing the top of your head while the smell of him invaded your senses. It was a comforting smell, tobacco and the woods, tiring you further. He let out a deep breath, wrapping your arms around your waist loosely as you lay on him, your eyes still closed as you slowly succumbed to sleep.

“Love ya so much (Y/N).” He mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper. The only thing you heard before finally, falling asleep.

#daryl dixon #the walking dead #daryl x reader #twd daryl #daryl x y/n #daryl fluff #twd fluff #norman reedus #mrdixonposts

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for sending a vaguely passive aggressive card?

i (25M) bought a card that says "i will always value our friendship" and inside i handwrote "you dont get to take this decision back, it is unfair to me too. i wish you the best." and gave it to my ex (27F) the day after she cut me off.

we met 2 years ago when we started working at the same job. we instantly hit it off and became close friends, and pretty soon after mutually crushing on each other.

however i had JUST left a super toxic relationship literally the month before and was in no way ready for a new relationship, and i made this clear to her. despite this she still asked to start dating almost every month for the better half of a year. i finally gave in and said yes, but she has to be super ptient as i still dont really feel ready for a relationship and am not over my ex, and havent even gone back to therapy yet to process the trauma of said previous relationship. she said she doesnt mind and even wants to help me process it herself. (key note: she is in college to become a trauma-specialized therapist.) i initially refused but upon her repetitive insistance gave in and let her give me "therapy talks" and whatnot. i dont exactly think i needed traditional talk therapy bc it hasnt benefitted me in the past and instead mostly benefit from EMDR and hypnosis. thats neither here nor there i guess lol.

fast forward a couple months and her car breaks down. she doesnt have any local friends or family so i ended up being her main ride to and from our job even though it was super inconvenient for me. we live in opposite directions on our job, each of us ~30 min drive away from work. so i would have to drive 45 min to her apartment to pick her up, then drive 30 min to work. after work i drive the 30 min back to her apartment, then the 45 min home. for unrelated reasons i end up leaving our mutual job and get a different job, closer to her apartment. ...but i am still her only ride. so now i am driving 45 min to her place, 30 min to HER job, 30 min BACK to her town where i work. now i drive 30 min to pick her up from work, 30 min to drop her off, and 45 min home. (that over three and a half hours of driving a day. she does not contribute to gas money.)

i am admittedly probably the asshole for this but i grow a little resentful of her lack of contribution and her expectation of me to be her ride despite the fact that she does not save money to fix her car or get a new one (she has a shopping addiction and spends a lot of money on knick knacks at antique/thrift stores). so we hardly spend time as a couple since i am always exhausted from work and driving her around. i tell her i dont Want to driver her everywhere and its putting a lot of tension and strain on the relationship bc of it and she is kind of like "well what am i supposed to do, lose my job and get evicted?" and so out of guilt i continue to be her ride.

she decided that me not spending enough time with her outside of driving is unfair and she wants to end the relationship. i agree this is for the best but because we used to be such good friends before, i want to try to be friends still. she agrees. i lay down a hard boundary now though: i will no longer be her ride. she does in fact lose her job and gets evicted from her apartment. by this point she has become friends with one of our old coworkers and ends up moving in to their house with their family, i end up helping her move.

we try to be friends, but she never texts first or asks to hang out or invites me anywhere, and on the rare occassion she agrees to my hangouts, shes extremely snappy and passive aggressive with me and is quick to remind me of what an "absent" boyfriend i was. i get fed up with this after a couple months and tell her i cant be friends with her is shes going to be so mean to me all the time, even if i WAS a bad boyfriend the relationship is over now and it isnt fair to keep holding it over my head. she agrees to try and be nicer to me. we slowly start becoming really good friends again and eventually start regularly hanging out again for a couple months.

my dad fucking dies. i take a month off work and have weekly grief counselling appointments. i kind of ghost everybody i know, not just including my ex/friend, but also my best friend, my cousin, and even my step sister. after a couple months back to work (sleep, go to work, come home, sleep. i didnt do Anything. i barely ate.) i finally start to get out of my depressive funk. i start reaching out to people again. most are super understanding and some are kinda weird about it. when i reach out to my ex and say i finally am starting to feel like a person again and we should hang out, she tells me that i broke her heart again by ignoring her and that i dont get a third chance, and shes cutting me off. she requests i drop off anything i still have of hers (she had some clothes and other stuff at my house) and so i decide to, kind of half genuinely and kind of half sarcastically, buy a "friendship" card.

...so, am i the asshole for buying a card that says "i will always value our friendship" and writing "you dont get to take this decision back, it is unfair to me too. i wish you the best." on the inside, and giving it to my ex the day after she cut me off?

#aita #am i the asshole

[wisecrackingeric-2]

SPOILERS FOR SEPERATE WAYS UNDER CUT N O T OPEN IT IF YOU DONT WANNA SEE EM!!!!!!!!

Here’s my little tiny exploration of Luis’ character because it is my god-given duty to pull him apart and analyse him

• Ok so first off………. THE OPENING SCENE??????????? Oh my god there’s S O MUCH TO TALK ABT. Yes Luis dancing is hot as SHIT but also???????? He was about to get TORTURED and MURDERED and he STILL decided to have fun with it and do a lil dance?????? That’s so!!!!!!!!!! He wants to live out his fantasies right until the end!!!!! He truly does think his confidence can get him anywhere!!!!!!! And then when the dance ends he’s READY TO FISTFIGHT THE MONKS?????? NO WEAPONS HES FULLY ABIUT TO GO FISTFIGHT THEM???? He KNOWS it’s a loosing battle but he’s gonna fight tooth and nail to the very end!!!!!!!!!!!

• Also when he turns to face the person who was also dying in the cell and says “this next dance is for you brother” and we get a close up of his face……….. god it hurts to know that that was a person. Somebody who was beautiful in their own right and maybe even somebody who meant something to Luis. Even in the face of death Luis sees the beauty in it ARGHGAGWHSGSB

• Also also I’m sure SOMEBODY could find meaning behind the Flamenco (somebody more knowledgeable in Spanish culture than me) but I’ve heard some people say it symbolises capture and death???? CAPCOM HOW DARE YOU HURT ME SO

• I LOVE that we get to see a more relaxed side of Luis around Ada and less of his flirtiness and damn. It’s so obvious he and Leon are in Love. He’s trying soooooooo hard to impress Leon every time they talk by being super flirty with him and then whenever he’s with Ada he’s a total nerd he’s soooooooooooooo in love w that blonde twink

• GODDAMN THAT FIRE SCENE. WHAT I S N T THERE TO TALK ABOUT??????? First of all the paralells between his childhood where he watched his grandfather die in a fire?????? Also he FULLY RAN INTO A BURNING BUILDING AND ALMOST DIED J U S T TO GET LEON HIS MEDICINE????????????? HE CARES ABOUT LEON SM I WANNA RIP SOMETHING APART. He didint wanna see Leon die in the same way his Grandfather did because he couldn’t save his Grandfather back then!!!!!!!!!!! He wants to make things right!!!!!! HE WAS LITERALLY ON HIS HANDS AND LNEES CRYING I CANT I CANT

• Also ADA CARES ABT LUIS SM,,,,,,,, SHE RAN INRO A BURNING BUILDING TO SAVE HIM AND MAKE SURE HE DIDINT DIE,,,, THE BESTIES EVAH

• godDAMN that scene where Luis heals Ada?????? I LOVE that we see him hesitate for a good solid few seconds on wether or not he should run away from her or stay,,, wether or not he should go back to his usual habits of running away from the people he loves or stay to help,,,, ANS HE STAYS TO HELP BECAUSE HE CARES ABY ADA AND ALSO??? ADA BEING LIKE “leave me here……… besides…… you’ve got a promise to keep……..” OOOOOOOUGGHHH SHE KNOWS,,,, SHE KNOWS HOW MUCH LEON MEANS TO HIM I CANNOG RN also that lil apothecary thing he had was sooooo gender of him

•OH MY GOD HIS DEATH SCENE WHERE HE CALLS HER?????????????? I don’t remember EXACTLY what he said and I’d have to comb through like hours of footage to find it again but,,,,,. THE FACT THAT HE CALLED HER TO SAY GOODBHE????? HE CARES ABOUT HER RIGHT UMTIL THE END?????? AND HE CALLS HIMSELF HER ‘Good Samaritan’ IN THE SAME WAY HE CALLS HIMSELF DON QUIXOTE TO LEON AOAOAISAUJSSOSISKS,,,,,, and then he’s like “sorry I’ve gotta go Leon needs my help ;)” OUGH,,,,, I’m gonna reference another post from my mutual but it’s so sad that Luis got to spend the rest of his life with Leon but not the other way round………………..

• I’m so glad we got to see more of Luis and more of his personality when he’s not tryna swoon the blonde twink he’s in love with BXNSBEHEJXIAIS he feels like such a deep and real human being especially whenever he interacts with Ada and I just,,,,,,,,,, sigh. He’s my favourite character for a reason. 10/10 no notes

• Edit: also the parallels between Luis calling himself Ada’s ‘Good Samaritan’ and Leon his Sancho like AAAAAAAAAA???? You could pick apart the meaning and argue abt how good samaritans are usually friends and Sancho is a code word for Gay Lover in a lot of old fashioned Spanish bars like how ‘friends of Dorothy’ was but ANSNWUENDUNXXUNDDHXN SHUT UP I can’t rn

•Also I’m SURE you could pull some symbolism from the bugs and from Luis having an apothecary as catholic self-exorcism and how ‘science is the roof of all evil’ and Luis is using it to help others etc etc etc……….

Also if anyone else finds anything abt luis lore wise like how you have to find a picture of his grandfather or of him with Umbrella in the original PLEEEEAAAAASSSWE SHOW ME I NEED MORE LUIS BACKSTORY I NEED IT IN MY VEINS

• ALSO ALSO EDIT: the fact that one of the ingredients for his cure are butterfly wings???? And butterflies symbolise CHANGE????? HIS ENTIRE ARC IS ABT CHANCE??????? I’m actually gonna be sick.

#ericswriting #serennedy #luis sera #luis serra

[unicornsaures]

hi doli this is a yap pass you know the drill :333

i figure everybody needs one every once in a while

- ash

YEAH OKAY WOOHOOOO I LOVE YAP PASSES

we are up thinking about dally. again. as always. most specifically sh dally TRUTH. god i love 'taboo' hcs...but also dally and johnny's entire dynamic as it is so honestly ill start with that first because looordddd do i have THOUGHTS.

tw// sh and suicide!! im yapping about dally be warned

okay so obviously we know johnny is 'obsessive,' but i think some people forget that if we take into account what the fuck happrned, dally is equally - if not more - obsessive as johnny is. I think they both just demonstrate it differently than each other. Johnny shows it in a more straightforward, 'worshipping,' way, but dally demonstrates it in a more discreet way I guess? Its discreet until the end at least, i mean he literally killed himself for johnny🤷‍♀️

what i find interesting about their dynamic though is that it in no way could be healthy. that is mutual obsession at its FINEST and it can. NOT. end well. One dies, the other dies. One leaves, the other is ruined, if not both of them ruined. Problem with this is one of them is bound to die in every universe. Usually, if any were to die first, it would be Dally. Hell, he was close to snapping by the time johnny died anyway, i dont think he wouldve lasted long even if johnny lived. Bit the problem with this is thag if dally died first, johnny would probably feel like an empty shell of a person if you get what i mean? Like, Dally was one of the things Jonny loved, but he loved him the hardest. Johnny loved ponyboy, but in a different way than he loved Dally. And im not just talking about the fhance of romantic love either. No, im talking about idolization and putting each other on a pedestal. For johnny, this pedestal isnt fragile, it would take a lot to break. But i think for dally, hes holding johnny higher than the rest, yeah, but it doesnt take much for that pedestal to crumble.

So, back to what i said earlier, dally was one of the things johnny loved, but johnny was the only thing dally loved. Recipe for disaster. Johnny loved him and idolized him, dally thought of him as a purpose to keep going. I mean, Dally really didnt know how to handle his emotions at all and he saw himself as someone who had to protect johnny. (i know thats a big reason on why he reacted the way he did.) He thought he failed and whatnot, but that also doesnt excuse the fact they blatantly favored each other over most of the gang(exception being ponyboy, but even then i dont think johnny favored either.)

In short, dally was a mess who couldnt handle emotions and instead of figuring out his own brain and traumas, decided to take to johnny and do his best to protect him because hes like, the one person who doesnt hold a grudge against Dallas. I have hcs and whatnot about why he got drawn to johnny(like he saw himself in the kid, even if he was only a year older, but that aint canon so🤷‍♀️.)

Their dynamic fucks me up so hard and in tired of pretending they would be healthy. they wouldnt!! they would be HORRIBLE for each other!!! they would feed into each others obsession, probably get extremely jealous over each other, and they would be completely unaware about how bad they are together. Yes, they are portrayed as a duo, but dallys way of dealing with his struggles is ignoring them til he snaps. Johnnys way of dealing with his is also ignoring them until he snaps.

They both showed that they at least had suicidal thoughts and again, if someone ended up killing themself, it would br a punch to the gut for the other. This is IGNORING the constant worrying that would be going on that the other is in danger, the other may have killed themself, the other hates them, etc etc. They both demonstrated suicidal thoughts. they both demonstrates obsessive behavior. put those two togetehr and youre getting the worst of both worlds. Im not even gonna get into what woukd happen if someone DID end up killing themself because thag would be a violent circle of self hatred and guilt for whoever lived if not an immediate death. For johnny i think he would try and live on but constantly blame himself that it was his fault he died, or he would instantly follow after him. With dally, he would get mad. oh he would br a ball of anger and hate and he would snap much like he did in the movie, if not worse. I think hr would also blame himself for the reasoning AND the fact that he wasnt enough for johnny, difference being he would probably end up dying an hour after he got the news.

Alrighty, time for sh dally truth now because this man is the embodiment of self destruction and i think there is no way he wouldnt have at least TRIED it. This is partly me projecting my own problems onto characters but also i genuinely think its in his character to actually do it, yknow? Part of me thinks he would do it to seem tough, that he can handle pain and he would ise that as an excuse to keep going cause no ones stopping him. The other part of my brain is saying that he would do it as a genuine coping mechanism or the desire to feel pain.

From firsthand experience im saying..neither! Im seeing it as a way for him to get an adrenaline rush, if not for a little bit of pain/'punishment.' Most of his reckless behavior is, from what i see, the result of getting bored. He sees normal living and to him its boring. He wants to shake shit up and start problems and rven then, he gets bored of that too. Eventually, he's bound to run out of things to give him that rush of adrenaline anymore and yk. sh is just there. its new, it lets him get an 'adrenaline rush' for the time being and then he'll stop. Then he does it again, then he stops, and its a cycle until surprise surprise, it turns into a comfort more than anything!

Instead of getting an adrenaline rush for a little, it calms him down and he realizes he likes that WAY more. add in his already self destructive nature i doubt he'd see much wrong with it, too. Just as a thing he does to 'calm down.' I dont even think hed have a 'main form.' Cvtting, burning, whatever, i dont think hed use one more than the other. Whatever he can get his hands on in that moment is fair game.

I could go more into the psych of it all if i wanted but im summing it up to a subconscious need to feel pain accompanied by an addiction and a false sense of euphoria. I also have a lot of ideas about the gang finding out and either being extremely concerned or chalking jt up to 'yeah, thats dally.' because they know they wouldnt be able to do jack shit to stop him. so yeah. youre welcome for the yap

#dolirants #asks #lordy im so sorry for this this is long asf AHAHDBBF #tw long post #dally<3 #jally<3 #my hcs

[mousesquared]

Hi! How did you realize you were aplspec? I'm questioning myself and am having such a hard time figuring it out lol...

(disclaimer that all of this is my personal experience and i dont speak for all aplspec people) oh also im gonna be saying i/me but this realization was a mix of mouses and mine (toby)

prepare for a long one cause i like to talk a lot i guess

i think it kinda hit me when i really thought about platonic attraction. im aroace and so dont experience romantic or sexual attraction and so thinking of a platonic version of that was a bit confusing. there were only a couple people i could remember feeling a pull towards to either be their friend or be closer as friends. with other friends it just kind of happened? they were someone i talked to about similar interests or in groups with mutual friends and a friendship just happened because of that. i didnt have a goal or pull to specifcally to try and get closer to them, it just happened because of where we hung around.

i know not all alloplatonic friendships are built on an urge to be friends or closer friends, but i do think my experience of it is in an aplatonic(spec) way. there is also the part where i dont specifcally have an urge to need close friends. i of course enjoy it when i do. but when i realized i was aplspec i only had like 2 past friends that i still occasionally texted but we were super distant. i didnt really miss an emotional bond with someone, i just wanted to talk to people. i was lonely in the sense that all my thoughts were having to be kept inside by head with no way out. and when i seeked out a place to talk about them, thats where friendships formed. i didnt join that community in order to get close friends, i just wanted discussion.

most of the time when it comes to friends, i am seeking the activity, the action, the nonloneliness. it is nice to have people fufilling that with me that i like! but with friends i have a really hard time gauging steps in relationships. i have been known to either talk to someone for a very short time and all of a sudden regard us as very close and i have been known to talk to someone and be friends with them for years, and then not consider them as close as they consider me. the latter isnt usually about me not liking them as much as others, i just dont realize how they view our friendship and have trouble gauging that kind of stuff for myself. i think that comes from just having trouble gauging how people see me in general. personally i think thats an autism thing but it affects my aplatonicism so its also an aplatonic thing!

i also think that i view friendship as like a complete separate step than just talking to someone a lot. that may seem like a contradictory thing to what ive said before. but the fact that i seek talking to people and interacting with others, thats why i was ok with not really having friends for a stretch of time. struggling with gauging friendship makes me see friendship as something that has to be kind of barrier you eventually cross instead of it just building up. i often dont realize when we cross that barrier and of course the other person doesnt feel the need to express it because we are already friends in their eyes. i am often hit with the "oh i guess we are friends now" thought. even with the few people i have felt platonic attraction to.

so TLDR: i realized platonic attraction is actually a thing, and most of the time i dont have an actual pull to be friends/closer with people. i dont usually seek the companionship of friends, usually just the sociable & activity doing aspect. i care about my friends but i dont view my care for them as a platonic attraction. i also have trouble gauging relationship levels with people and often dont realize we are friends until they say something or i realize im spending a lot of my time with them. (reminder that im aplspec, not 100% aplatonic too!)

#i had a lot of trouble putting stuff into words loll #attraction of any kind confuses the hell out of me #lemme know if some things didnt make sense #i will try to elaborate pff #picnic chats #aplatonic #aplspec #aspec

[halucynator]

Hellllooo,

Omg I really needed more swiftie mutuals <3

Please rant about all things you like, i love rants, gosh we seem to have so many close interests, I am not a writer tho, but I do read, effectively making me a reader which doesn't sound as cool, now that I think about it.

My fav Taylor song at the moment is "Slut!". I cannot get that out of my head. I mean "got lovesick all over my bed", I die a little everytime I hear that.

Fav Olivia song at the moment is logical (kinda like you username aah). I still CANNOT get over "can't take a joke, can't get you off". Like please kill me already.

Fav Sabrina song at the moment is probably "because i liked a boy". (damn who hurt me?)

And fav conan song at the moment, "Lookalike"

Tell me yours?

Nyc.

xx

hiiii

omg thank you thank you thank youuuu <33

okay so i love a lot of things some of them are pretty questionable but I'm questionable literally ask anyone on the discord server so its fine. anywhoo, i love taylor, maisie, gracie, phoebe, alix page, lucy (dacus not myself I'm not THAT narcissistic), olivia hardy (from wasia project) julien, conan, liv, sab (and @loserdiaz but that's a known fact) and so many other people to the point that even i cant keep track. oh and i love laufey, mitski and lyn lapid just bc.

my current fav by wasia project is petals on the moon but ur so pretty especially live from the studio is so gooddd

anywayss, reading is really cool thats how i got into writing (which is the best thing ever ik /hj) i also really really like reading bc it makes me smart and it's super fun

which is your favourite book series?? mine is lockwood and co as if you couldn't already tell by the amount of times I've mentioned it i also really love agggtm series bc why wouldn't it its so good. I'm sure i love so many more book series but my memory sucks (it does not but I'm lazy so I'll use that as an excuse)

anywhooo, i love scream which is weird bc i watched the first one when i was 10 (i know, who let me do that???) and i... liked it? (I'm very questionable i know) but i also tend to rant about it as if its real life (like WHY DID THEY KILL OF *insert name of dead character* IM SO MAD) and not a movie so I'm a bit annoying sometimes but pls don't tell me that otherwise I'll start crying /j

hmm my favourite taylor song atm would be "is it over now?" or "now that we don't talk" bc at the moment i resonate so well with those songs (ikr my life sounds like a nightmare: it is but it isn't really? idk) at yes i totally agree with the "got lovesick all over my bed statement but" also "love thorns all over this rose" and omg "you're not saying you're in love with me, BUT !! YOURE !! GONNA !! DO !!" like who gave taylor the right to be such a mastermind (funny, right? no? okay.) like the entire song, heck the entire album is so GOOD. HER ENTIRE DISCOGRAPHY IS SO GOOD. (this is totally normal fan behaviour btw)

favourite liv song atm is probably lacy but i love all of the songs all the album (and yes logical is soooo good i mean i have to love it otherwise my url is meaningless) but my favourite lyric from the entire album is probably "we both drew blood but man THOSE CUTS were NEVER EQUAL!!" from the grudge (also one of my top 3) bc that hits DEEP. (bc the cuts were deep, i know I'm so funny /j)

favourite sab song atm is prolly cindy lou who / opposite (been there) / a nonsense christmas. i cheated but i simply cant choose one shes too good. also super funny bc cindy lou who and opposite are like sad vibes and then a nonsense christmas i want you to [redacted] and [redacted] me on the couch while we [redacted] presents (sorry i just think I'm so funny when I'm not but dont tell me that i wanna be a stand up comedian no I'm just kidding I'm not a failure. IM JOKING) (also regarding bc i liked a boy, I agree. who hurt you???)

anyways, my favourite conan song atm is prolly the best known option "heather" BUT i also like "the cut that always bleeds" the entire of kid krow tbh

okay i wrote a lot asdxcasdcvafd sorry

alsooo, you didnt ask this but my favourite gracie abrams song atm is "where do we go now?" and "cedar" (you arent mine) bc its such a heartbreaking song especially when you can relate to it. ooh and i also love camden, painkillers, rockland and long sleeves but they're all pretty depressing so if you don't like sad songs they're prolly not for you.

and THANK YOU for this ask this was so fun send me more sometimes <333

#taylor swift #gracie abrams #maisie peters #olivia rodrigo #sabrina carpenter #conan gray #boygenius #phoebe bridgers #lucy dacus #julien baker #alix page #music #moots <3 #luce posts 💌

[wildissylupus]

Hi! i know you already get those asks but i really want to vent: i think them making pharmercy canon now would not be satisfating for me - im a lesbian, i feel like there was no indication since the game release that they have anything for each other, if anything mercy was very close to genji, they were very sutil with that, and all pharmercy 'flirt' lines are so recent feels like rushed. One of my favorite lesbian ships ever is Caitlyn and Vi from league, they construed they relationship for YEARs, from partners to lovers and just NOW in 2023 after years and everything they confirmed both as lesbians and even in Arcane they doing great with their romance. another exemple is leona and diana and killjoy with reze in valorant, compared with overwatch feels like they dont know how to develop a organic/fresh relationship between their female characters from the game, rigth now looks just pandering for me.

And yeah I do see where your coming from, Gency has had years of build up in canon while Pharmercy has just started being pushed. Though because of the fact that in the past we've seen OW writers say that they ship Pharmercy I don't think it pandering exactly. I think it's more wish fulfilment.

I also agree with what you're saying about what happened in other games when it comes to LGBTQ+ rep, those ships have had build up. To the point where I, a person who doesn't play either game, know what your talking about. I myself am also a lesbian and I have recognized Pharah as lesbian coded since I first got into Overwatch, which was back in 2016, they've had plenty of time to add things like voice lines or lore to this relationship but they haven't. I looked up their old Overwatch 1 interactions for this post and basically none of them have that flirting vibe that the new voice lines have, most of the personal ones being Mercy saying how she thinks Ana would be proud of Pharah and Pharah just going "are we talking about the same person here?"

Also I've stated it briefly in other posts on Pharmercy but I just don't think they would work, at least they wouldn't stay a couple for a long time. A big thing that people forget when it comes to Pharmercy is that Angela has a lot of issues she needs to sort out, one of those being her terrible communication skills and her ability to say goodbye to people. The reason this is important is because Fareeha has abandonment issues, and we see how Angela's inability to communicate already affects their relationship in "As You Are", we clearly see that Angela leaving without saying goodbye affected Pharah.

This also culminates into this being a story where one person has to wait for the other to sort out their issues, which is something I don't want for Pharah. This plot line with Gency works because it's mutual. If Pharah is going to be with someone I either want them to be dealing with something that Pharah can actually help with (like Symmetra and her inevitable identity crisis) or for her partner to be just as sure of herself as Pharah is (like Sombra or Kiriko).

Again I don't want Pharah to have to wait for Angela to get her issues sorted out, she already has to wait for her mother to come back, she shouldn't have to wait for her romantic life either, and Angela's problems are not something Pharah is really equipped to help with. We actually see how Genji and Angela talk while Pharah tends to offer silent support.

I don't hate Pharmercy and under different circumstances I think they would work, however, not only are the writers kind of fumbling to get me invested but Pharah and Mercy have so many things working against them on a personal level. Not only that but they're fundementally different morally, I think a lot of people forget that Angela doesn't like helix calling them mercenaries with no regard for civilian life, while knowing full well that Pharah works for Helix. That kind of difference would work in a friendship but that would not go well in a romantic relationship.

Anyway, again I don't hate Pharmercy, it's not one of my top ships but I do like it. However, what has been presented in canon either just doesn't get me invested or I just don't want to see happen in terms of characterization (again Pharah shouldn't have to wait for her romantic life in the same way she needs to wait for her family).

#overwatch #overwatch 2 #overwatch lore #overwatch headcanons #analysis #angela ziegler #ow mercy #mercy overwatch #mercy #pharah #pharah overwatch #fareeha amari

[sugoi-writes]

FUCK. I WROTE PART NINE AND HAD IT ALL READY TO GO AND THEN MY KID GOT HER HANDS ON MY PHONE AND CLOSED THE APP. THANK LUCIFER I HAD THE FIRST HALF SAVED AS A DRAFT BUT STILL. OTL sending this separate because I was paranoid she'd do it again and I would have to write the second part a third time 😭 also realizing I forgot to put my sig at the bottom of Pt.9

..... Annnnd of course, after pressing send I remember that I forgot to rewrite the part where reader chokes Alastor when they cum. just shoot me holy motherfucking shit

At some point I'mma just make these into a full blown PWP fic. It seems like they get longer with each installment 🤣 (I'm sorry btw, I always feel kinda bad whenever I leave long messages in anyone's inbox 😫

AYEEEE WELL YA KNOW WHAT THEY SAY - GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE!! 😘❤️‍🔥

It's a fitting pet name Hunny Pun! You're the queen of puns and you're so so SO sweet like a Honey Bun! is that icing or Alastor's jizz on you??? ... im so sorry i'll see myself out again 😭 CAN'T FIND AND KISS ME IF I FIND AND KISS YOU FIRST BABES~! ❤️❤️❤️

I can't hold on to my anonymity anymore guys so I'mma be making Pt.10 my reveal post~ it's killing me that I can't leave rabid fangirl messages on your works like you all do here for me! I really did wanna wait until I got the Smutmus Holy Trinity complete or at least in the revision stages but just- GAH! I NEED YALL TO KNOW HOW AMAZING I THINK YOU ARE. Beautiful beautiful minds, inside and out i can't even-!

Seriously though, I can't even begin to express how grateful and happy I am to have met any of you! And there are no words in the English dictionary (or any at all really) that I could use to describe what I feel about how accepting and supportive you've been! I could NEVER thank yall enough for helping me to find the joy in writing again. I love all three of you so much and I'm honored to call you friends!! 🥺🥰💋

- ☄️❤️ Smut Santa

False Alarm for the Next Part!! And honestly, thank God, the vibe is still not charged HAH--

Oh no!!! I'm so sorry that happened to you!! I had a similar experience when writing my part 2 to my Nun! Alastor fic. Fun fact: had to re-write it 5 times because I kept forgetting to save it. ;;_;; hhhh my baby fever is so bad I'm crying, but man, KIDS! What a little stinker 🥹❤️

Also, my ask box is usually super empty? Like, you could LICK the floor with how neat and empty it is? I LOVE messages? Even better if they long like Alastor's girthy fucking co--

We--We were- when we??? ALASTOR GETS--??? MY HANDS AROUND HIS???

*Danny.Exe has experienced an Error*

*Rebooting*

OKAY IM BACK--

☄️❤️Anon... babycakes. At this rate I'm gonna do more than fucking kiss you. I think we're past that now. And if you keep calling me 'Hunny Pun', or similar pet names, I'm just gonna jump your bones--

Hug you!!!! I meant hug you!!!

It's Alastor's jizz. It's canon-- NO DONT LEAVE I NEED TO KNOW HOW I GOT IT ON MY FAAAAAAACE

GUYS CODE TREAT, CODE TREAT, THE ANON VEIL IS DROPPING!!! ITS DROPPING DHDHDJDHDJ-- You will never gain a mutual as fast as you will then I SWEAR

☄️❤️!!! Smut Santaaaaa! 🥹😭❤️ Your mind is a beautiful, smutty, enchanting place!!! Knowing that you've been religiously cranking this out, while also having a kiddo... Seriously, how do you do it??? If anyone deserves the praise rn, 🎵it's you??? It's you, ITS ALWAYS YOU!!🎵 ❤️❤️❤️

Don't push yourself too hard! Please? ❤️ I will treasure these rare, scrumptious little treats for as long as I have brain cells left ❤️ I will call you friend until you tell me to quit or I lose my voice for good. And even then, my lips will keep moving and repeating the same thing until I'm blue in the face. ❤️❤️❤️ you are such a sweet, sweet, soul, and I can feel your vibes, and they are so wholesome! I can't wait to meet the person or sexual fiend behind it all! I feel like I speak for us all, and not just the main 3, but EVERYONE: everyone who has read your posts love you to bits. And they love your work to bits. Best believe when you publish your first work, we'll be there. En masse. And we will be EAGERLY returning the love you surprised us with.

Thank you for all that you do. On this post in particular, you deserve a foot rub, a forehead kiss, and a hug that lifts and spins you off your feet! 💗💗💗

Have a blissful, best of days you can have, dear! You deserve it! 💗

#gah now im all mushy #i need to watch Howl's Moving Castle again #I NEED IT #☄️❤️ i said i love you like a million times let me know if that makes you uncomfy please? hahah;;; #MWUAH #☄️❤️anon #sweet post #smutmus #danny rambles #danny speaks

[petewentzisblack1312]

how did your insane yuri npcs first meet??

THANK YOU. gm screen ↓

so their names are rhea stat (he/they/whos asking.) and jules de force (they/them) and like i said theyre both techies, and theyre both the same kind of techie, they jailbreak cybernetics so that theyre no longer walled gardens and can be used second hand by anyone. rhea is a free agent, but jules works closely with the promethean collective, which distributes that cyberware for people who need it.

im not completely solid on exactly the circumstances of their meeting, but i think rhea briefly worked with the collective, and that was how they met and got to know each other. neither of them really likes sharing a workshop, but even though theyre very different in their workstyles they were so in sync while they were paired up, and got. VERY close wink wink. which is what made their first falling out so bitter. jules is very selfless, and very dedicated to the collective, while rhea is quite selfish and was just in it for the paycheck, and at the end of the day, working for a mutual aid network doesnt pay that great, though it did make it easier and more reliable to secure cybernetics to scrub since the collective gets most of theirs from intercepting manufacturers and under the table deals.

i think rhea invited jules to some shady and kind of morally bankrupt cause, like arming a gang with new scrubbed cybernetics or something similar, and jules balked. they couldnt believe hed do something like that, but rhea was like, dont we deserve better? dont YOU deserve better? why should we have to scrape by to survive just to get almost no thanks for doing the right thing? and is it even our fault what they do with the cyberware we give them? they can do what they want, whats it matter to us? they refused, and the fact that jules chose 'the right thing' over rhea really hurt him. meanwhile the fact that rhea chose himself over the right thing really hurt jules. they parted ways on bad terms after that, especially since the deal fell through since he didnt have clearance to move that many cybernetics on his own, and rhea left the collective to become a free agent. they still keep orbiting around each other though.

#gm screen #dils declares #cmyrgb

[burritowitch]

It’s so funny when y’all talk abt comics bc it’s so obvious you have never read them. Jason would def lose to cass, but he has beaten her before and they are far more closely matched than you’re making it out to be. Beyond the fact that cass’s skills lie in immediate fighting, she’s not a planner, while Jason is. And Jason has been able to work around her detection abilities on multiple occasions.

Well. Well. Lets touch on this, shall we?

Your first point, that I've clearly never read comic books. While I may have been more into fanon when I first joined the fandom, I've never not read comics. Reading death in the family is what got me interested in the universe and led to me reading more and more and posting about DC. I do not claim anything I posted before like. Last January. I would like to cite the amount of posts I've made directly about comics I've read, often with panels. Ive spent well over $500 on comic books over the past year and a half and they're basically all I read nowadays. While most of my personal collection of physical books is post reboot because thats what's typically in store, I do mostly read post crisis books through online resources like readcomicsonline. li, notably including the entirety of no mans land (cass's debut) and her entire solo, batgirl 2000 (i own five issues of this), and utrh (i have the collected edition iirc?), jason's debut as red hood.

I see where you're coming from saying Jason is a planner, he sure did make a plan. That was an extremely convoluted plan that I will remind you: did not work. jasons plan to get bruce to kill the joker failed, quite famously. Jason's plans are insane because Jason as Red Hood was meant to be another insane rogue when he was first reintroduced. And typically, an extremely extra plan isn't going to help you if your opponent can figure out your next move before you can during the actual fight. I am discussing a hand to hand fight by the way, likely close quarters. If he did his whole putting a car bomb under the batmobile thing with her motorcycle, he probably would win. if he had the guts to detonate it, that is (which he didnt do with the batmobile bomb). In an actual fight? he loses.

If you can send me another ask with specific issue numbers of jason beating Cass, I may be inclined to take back what I said. However, in regard to a situation exactly like this, there is a quote from Cass's creator Kelly Pucket.

If you do have any specific issues, though, I will go and read them and reconsider.

The post you're referring to was one I made about a friend of mines poll about who would win in a fight between the batfam, it was mostly meant to be an in joke between me and my mutuals, and it definitely is stretching the comics canon. I do agree, I did exaggerate the difference between their fighting levels. Jason is an incredible fighter, but I do not believe he would be able to beat Cass in a fair fight. Even if he had a gun, she has on panel survived and walked off a point blank shot to the head in an issue of batgirl 2000 (i dont remember which issue exactly, but I do remember it was one with tim drake in it. most likely around halfway through).

If it was in reboot or current canon that Jason beat Cass, I'd like to remind you that Harley Quinn has also beat Cass, and she is definitely nowhere near the skill level needed to do so. Any comics you cite, however, I will read through and reconsider my answers with these in mind.

I'm not trying to say I'm a comic expert, I know I'm not. I've only been reading comics for about a year and a half now, and I definitely haven't read everything. But I do believe I've read enough Batman to say this much.

#cassandra cain #discourse

[b1ueoff1ine]

Captured - Part 3

Otto Octavius x Reader

Dark!Villain!Otto x Avenger!Reader

Summary: You get captured by the evil Doctor Octavius- but he captures your heart as well.

Warnings: Age Gap. Mutual pining. Enemies to Lovers. (Let me know if I missed any!)

A/N: I love how the first two came out! here, have a third. Halfway through there is no plot lol my brain went blank.

WC: 1k

__

He chuckled. "You heard me."

"I- I dont understand."

"You better understand soon. Or I'll have to play this game again. I personally don't think I like this game, being away from you for so long."

"You're saying you love me? But-"

He cut you off. "Just don't hate me for this. Well, dont hate me anymore than you already do. I'm a villain, you're a hero, after all." Doctor Octavius replied.

"They're scared of you-" You said, looking at the frightened people below in the city streets.

"But your not scared, are you?" He asked.

"... No, I'm not."

His actuators brought you in close to him, close enough for him to kiss your cheek. You were too surprised to even blush.

Then all of the sudden you were in his facility again, sitting in a cell.

Then you blushed. Your face scrunched up as you remembered what he had said just minutes before.

"What, I can't be a villain and love a hero?" Doctor Octavius had told you.

You opened your eyes as a knock sounded on the door of the cell.

Doctor Octavius was standing in the doorway, his actuators posed behind him.

To see him in the door, menacing as he was, you couldn't help but want him more.

"Did you need something?" You asked him.

"Earlier, you said you weren't afraid of me. What did you mean by that?"

You nodded. "I did say that, didnt I? And it's true. I'm not afraid of you like the others. In fact, I was relieved to finally find you."

"What? You were relieved? Why?" Doctor Octavius questioned.

"Because I couldnt forget it. The kiss. I've been searching for you ever since you left me there on that ship."

Doctor Octavius had a blank expression on his face. "You mean... you like me? But I'm your enemy. You shouldn't like your enemy."

"So you can and I cant?" You inquired, thinking of how unfair it seemed.

"That's not what I meant- nevermind. Fine, it's just wierd to like your enemy." Doctor Octavius sighed. "Sorry, I didn't expect this outcome to this problem."

You stood, and, using your speed, arrived next to him. "I don't care what you expected or not. I like you. Is it that hard to understand?"

"What- I-" He was speechless.

Your love for him had bloomed since you saw him last, from when he had let you go.

His eyes were closed, as if he was processing the information.

You took the opportunity to kiss him, and he seemed even more confused at this.

He kissed you back, and then all of the sudden you were pinned against the wall on the inside of the cell.

"Doctor-" You were cut off by a deep, passionate kiss. His hands wrapped around your waist, gripping you tightly.

So tight it hurt. It was what you wanted, what you desired from him. You had missed the pain.

You broke the kiss to breathe. When you had regained your breath, you spoke.

"I- I cant love you, Doctor Octavius. I just..."

He cocked an eyebrow at you. "What do you mean you cant? You can love whoever you want."

"Unless..."

"Unless what?" He was kissing your neck.

You moved away from him for a few moments. When you turned back to him, a tear fell from your eye. "Unless you or I are willing to give up everything."

"I'm willing to live in a cell so long as I'm able to see you."

You pondered on if it could work. But you shook your head as you came to one conclusion: "If I am to continue to love you, we must stay apart as long as possible."

"But-"

You cut him off. "No buts. I hate it just as much as you do. Either that, or you cant be a villain anymore."

"But-" You cut him off by putting a finger to his lips.

"What did I just say? Just take your pick."

"I- I..." He trailed off, his words telling you everything.

He wouldn't give up being a villain. Nor would he give up you. So the only answer was to secretly meet every now and then. You hated it, but it was the only answer.

"Then let me go and I will see you when I can."

"What do you mean?"

"You wont give up villainy, nor me. It-It's the only answer."

He sighed. "Fine. But I dont like it."

You frowned. "I dont like it either." You sat on the one seat in the cell to ponder.

Doctor Octavius came and stood next to you, an intent gaze falling upon your features.

"Doctor Octavius- let me go for now. I promise I will be back, just let me go."

"But I don't want you to leave..." he practically whined.

"I dont want to leave either... But I must." You stood, and Doctor Octavius grabbed your shoulders tightly.

"If you must."

You turned to him, a longing in your eyes.

He pulled you into a big hug, then let you go. You rented a motorcycle from a local dealer, and you sped through the streets of New York.

You arrived at the Avengers tower and parked the bike. Climbing off, you turned and were met with Thor's confused face.

"Holy- you scared me."

"I scared you? You gave me a heart attack when you said 'not again' and were ripped through the side of the ship."

"Relax, okay. I said that because that's what happened last time."

Thor looked confused.

"When I was captured for days? And yall didn't see me over the course of those days? Then I came back and went through a phase of depression? Any of this familiar to you?"

Thors features quickly changed, his confused look disappearing and his brows lifting innocently. "I knew that. Are you sure you are not going to be depressed after this?"

"I cant promise anything, okay? I went through some rough shit when I was captured."

__

Taglist:

@imwithyoutiltheendofthelinebucky

@invaderzim13

[ew-headyhearts]

i am so sorry for asking this but can we pls get some more nsfw headcanons?&2&1&/ AHHH SORRY

Okay, let me preface this by saying this, I wrote these head canons while extremely high and I've been sitting on these bad boys for a while now. Forgive me if they're a little incoherent but I figured this was the best ask to share them with. Please mind the tags. If you're uncomfortable with anything skip this one.

TW: N$FW Topics, Tord being fucking nasty, everyone just being nasty, sex toys, edging, just the tip, biting, praise, strap-ons, messy sex, questionable use of pillows, stealing clothes, using said clothes in questionable ways, VERY questionable fantasies, "onii-chan", again Tord's fucking nasty, Who needs that many dildos ever?, NO BETA READ, EVEN THE TAGS AREN'T SAFE, Squid's a mess right now, Don't do drugs, unless it's legal for you like me

Edd

Chronic pillow humper. He has cum on the sheet's multiple times, but dont worry he cleans it all up very well.

Service top and much prefers giving. Man's gives great head and he knows it.

A huge fan of clothes on sex.

Praise kink, did I mention the praise kink? He talks so much during sex. It's either he's talking about how good you are or he's describing in massive detail every little thing hes doing to your body. It doesn't even get better when he's going down on you.

A massive tease. He can spend hours just fucking you with the tip, it makes it so much more enjoyable for him. Loves edging so much, like one of his favorite things is edging you both together and see who gets so desperate that they are practically drooling and barely able to form a thought.

Did I mention the guided masturbation? He loves seeing his partner get off while he whispers right in their ear how to do it. And trust me, he pays extra close attention he knows nearly all of your sweet spots and he's going to abuse that information.

Matt

Likes to use a vibrator against his cock.

Total voyer and Def makes a show out of you watching him tease himself.

Also produces a lot of precum it WILL get everywhere.

Much prefers bottoming.

His absolute favorite is to ride you/your strap and look up into a mirror on the ceiling (becausd of course he has one). Then he can look at both of your pretty faces.

He's a total biter, the vampire episode just awakened it in him.

Pin him to the wall, it doesn't matter if you're way shroter than him. He will quite literally drop go his knees in front of you if you do so.

The few times he does top he's still so submissive. Seeks out praise so much.

The ONLY way to get him to take a dominant roll is to bruise his ego, which takes quite a bit of effort.

Tom

Has one of those clear ice pocket pussies.

He likes to masturbate in the shower. Says it makes clean up quicker, but in reality, it's just because the water usually drowns out his moans.

Also a fan of fantasy toys, though he's mostly interested in having those absolutely absurd dildos. Has more than enough dildos that it's considered illegal in Texas

Tom's a growler and does enjoy the occasional primal play.

Chaotic switch. Does not care who is getting stuffed. In fact, he really loves it if his partner would switch mid-sex. He's much more pliant if you do so.

Masturbates in the hoodie and would not complain if you did too.

Mutual masturbation, he is so weak for it.

Loves bondage on his partner, but don't ever tie him up. It's actually a trigger for him and that's not going to be fun for anyone.

Also a total drooler as he gets closer to cumming. Doesn't matter if he's topping or bottoming, there will be drool and it will be messy.

Tord

Has a "just the tip" fantasy. He thinks he's improved every time but like- it takes 3 minutes of him just thrusting the head in before he's going absolutely rabid wanting to fuck you deeper. He likes edging himself using his partner's hole.

Will steal your underwear. He's fucking NASTY and uses it to jerk it. He might just wash them before returning them. Emphasis on might, he's nasty and probably gets off to the fact that he's came in your clothing multiple times.

Does not want to stop until either one if you is so overstimulated and fuckdrunk.

I feel like he would have a fantasy where you call him "onni-chan"

Will buy you sex toys, but most of the time they're just tentacles. If you let him though, he'd love to make you one of his own. Don't give him that power. He'll make a secret remote to use anytime he's bored.

Will nut the second you come out in cosplay, or just dress up vaguely like one of those anime girls. Doesn't matter your gender, he goes nuts for miniskirts and thigh highs.

#n$fw #n$fw hcs #hcs #sw edd #sw matt #sw tom #sw tord #mention of drugs #Squid gets high and dumps a bunch of gross stuff #ew headyhearts #ew-headyhearts

[rottika]

"autistic people cant/dont like to form close relationships" is just straight up wrong. we struggle with it due to not understanding social norms and having trouble with empathy, but that doesnt mean its impossible, much less that we dont want to. its not contradictory and claiming it is is a big misunderstanding of autism.

in fact, dare i say autism actually worsens the symptoms of BPD? because, since you dont understand social cues, its even harder to know if youre being abandoned or not, and you grow up learning that everyone else has some sort of psychological understanding that you just dont, so youre just constantly wondering if theyre not telling you something.

not only is imagined abandonment much more of a concern, but real abandonment is, too, given most people are much more likely to be turned off by autistic people, due to either not understanding, or straight up being uncomfortable with the way we interact. of course, this is much less likely when your FP is autistic themself, especially if theyre particularly similar to you.

among other things like rejection sensitive dysphoria combining with fear of imagined abandonment, autism is not only not mutually exclusive with BPD, but can make a whole new level of problems when combined. sincerely, someone diagnosed with autism who is on psychiatric treatment for severely impacting BPD symptoms (but whose psychiatrist doesnt like diagnosing in general so bah)

Thank you for this ask! Strong agree!

I struggle a lot with forming close relationships (mostly because of lack of understanding of social cues and general social anxiety), but that doesn't mean I'm incapable or wholly uninterested in them. I have purposely distanced myself from human connection since COVID happened and it's been simultaneously relieving but also excruciating. I simultaneously desire close connections and intimacy, but I'm bad at forming them and (when I DO have them), I'm constantly worried that people will leave me.

It's hard for me to read facial expressions and body language and I tend to assume everyone secretly hates me and wants to leave me all the damn time. It's part of the reason why I was so fucking bad at taking compliments from people seriously and why being a public figure has been so difficult. I am always paranoid that everyone's just lying when they say nice things.

There's this cold, crippling satisfaction that I currently have about not having any irl connections at all (outside of my family). I don't have to panic about being left behind all the time, don't have to struggle through social interactions blindly while worrying they have something to say that they aren't saying, don't have to people-please, won't accidentally hurt people by being aggressive or impulsive. But it's also just very destitute in a sense, yk?

The combination of simultaneously hating people and being an introverted freak (convinced that everyone's out to get me in some type of way) while also wanting/needing people at the same time is a uniquely shitty experience!

Though I'm alone irl, I've had the same FP for like,,, multiple years now and that's been a relief to have him and also another close friend in my online life. They've made my life overall better. So, shout out to those homies. :]

#answered asks #vent #sorta??

[bonesandthebees]

I got a little too excited when reading rose and

so it took me a while to work thru the chapter since I write my comments as I read and I decided not to repeat everything started in the thats important to learn about the characters bc that would be almost the whole chapter so i saved it for my analysis here, but I kept getting lost in a cycle of too many thoughts and not much reading about the characters and everything going on oops

time to gather the base info we have (im telling myself analysing this is practising for my literature classes so im technically doing stuff for school when in fact im procrastinating stuff for school, ill do it after this I promise I just need to get this out of my head)

wilbur:

- studying to be the next consil and phil is giving him some lesson, but it seems hes only now going to get fully introduced to all the inner workings

- the ferronnière: hes basically constantly aware of it, both physically (keeps checking he has it) and mentally (aware of his position and controlling his actions, the metaphor of ferronnière pressing on his head as the pressure being put on him) which isnt really healthy but theres not really another option

also he keeps making sure the ferronnière is visible whenever he needs to be respected and we saw a guard doubt him before they saw the ferronnière so its not just a feeling but the ferronnière actually gives him respect and wilbur himself doesnt really have any

- his relationship with phil is as can be expected, phil is not a bad dad, he needs to prepare wilbur to survive in court, but he might be a bit too focused on that + his duties as consil and that results in very strict and bit distant parenting

from his fear of phil not telling him about the announcement and the flinch when called his full name you can see that wilbur is very afraid of disappointing phil, bc in the past that probably meant something like shouting and he was probably called wilum at those times

but its not that phil doesnt care, hes making sure wilbur will be able to be a good consil and I believe it when he says hes taking care of their family (which is just sandduo, or maybe techno too?) and so far he looks satisfied with wilbur, proud even (me when phil is proud of wilbur in any universe bdhdhdjjfjen)

- hes really close friends with niki, since childhood, and there is deep trust between them, with wilbur letting niki even touch his ferronnière, something very personal and important, sharing fidgeting with their rings....

they plan to hopefully rule together (which is not at all unrealistic in their situation) but it wont be able to work the way it has so far, the way they imagine it, already with the strain of wils promise to phil and more will surely com, niki will learn about wilbur not telling her everything eventually and idk how shell take it

im not saying their friendship couldnt work im just afraid it wont survive bc theyll keep trying to hold it up to their childhood standards which isnt possible in this situation and I predict a falling out maybe becoming enemies even

- we dont see much of his relationship with quackity and the tension of niki vs q with wilbur on nikis side is ever present, but theyre still friends

when quackity arrived at the palace they were all still kids and while they did know about the competition going on but they probably had some classes together and I assume wilbur and niki were there only other kids in an adequate position to play with so theres nothing weird about the friendship

also I wouldnt be surprised if phil encouraged it, it was him who told wil to keep his chances open on all fronts

they also both have mutual respect

theres also this undertone to their conversation that is just so tntduo of them

1/2

wilbur's ferronnière plays a rather symbolic role in the story. it's important to wilbur because it's his status symbol. it's the thing that, in his mind, gives him power. that's why he's constantly aware of it. that's why he's constantly adjusting it. it's representative of his position as the son of the consil and everything that comes with it

phil definitely isn't a bad dad in this, but he's not a great one either. he and wilbur have such a complex relationship I'm so excited to really dig into it. phil deeply cares about wilbur and wants the best for him, but wilbur is terrified of disappointing his father. phil sometimes sets his expectations too high, and wilbur scrambles to try and reach goalposts set out too far. but phil is still proud of his son, and just wants to see him thrive.

niki and wilbur's friendship certainly goes through a lot in this story... I'll say that

oh yeah phil 100% encouraged wilbur's friendship with quackity. they have a very... unique relationship i'll say. they're also childhood friends like he and niki are, but they're not as close in some ways and, in a sense, they're closer in other ways. you'll see what i mean later lmao

#ask #jiksvokrat #rose ch 1

[lamedemoniaque]

Weed update:

Weed is great but the after affects and the waves of dread and despair hit me so hard in the morning. Waking up is supposed to be a rebirth; a new day is upon us and I choose to be how I was in the past (pessimistic, susceptible to negativity, letting things snowball)

I can’t find solutions to the weird problems I have. Root causes for things help to cope but the gravity of my potential impact on this world is jarring…it makes me dizzy and unable to dream and I dont know what’s right or wrong. Im damaging my brain day by day but as i’ve come into myself recently, I see that I am in fact, quite reasonably human and reasonable humans drink and smoke and fuck and work out and talk to one another; sometimes passionately but most times it is idle in nature. The root cause being that humans do thèse things because they are human, And that’s the only reason we need. It’s not so simple, nor is it so unbelievably complex but it’s oh so frustrating. The only thing I’ve wanted to understand was others and i’ve made amazing strides towards this goal, but in the end, while it’s not a futile effort, it is rather arbitrary and there’s too many dead ends.

My findings are that people, wherever they lie on social standings, will always go out of their way to express their ideals, beliefs and their artistic visions. There’s no true hiding that can be done, but lets be real: body language experts are such horrid cunts and that whole practice is suspect to say the least. That being said, I get called out a lot for stereotyping people, and they are correct to do so but I’ve noticed that people dont usually tend to break social contracts, even arbitrary ones like marriage, friendships and job obligations but they also don’t go against the social conventions of their communities. I believe that community is essential to human life and capitalism and other shit has really skewed this sonic truth about human life. People in certain groups will act a certain way, but that is not a guarantee because guess what? People are complex! We like the mystery of others, so if I make an assumption about someone based on what I know about their culture and their upbringing, that’s just a lead into learning the actual true things about one. People break stereotypes as much if not more than they follow them and I think it’s fascinating truly.

In other news, my love life has continued to be in shambles but I do hope for a change in that whenever the Gods believe that I deserve what I am worthy of. That being said, dating apps are a disgusting trap for those seemingly desperate enough to play a part in the company’s shitty game (me af) and while I just literally typed that out, I don’t really hate dating apps, I just don’t like the way it’s set up. There’s this disgusting aspect to seeing others show themselves off with no substance and the substance is impossible to find because it’s too fucking hard to bridge the gap between the mutual agreement that we live in the same general area and not getting a feel for someone automatically by meeting them in an “organic” matter, but I still dont think it’s bad. I think the thing that bugs me is almost having to pay for the services because dating and being seen by other’s in your dating pool is really fucking hard! Like extremely hard, even if you’re confident and attractive like I like to believe that I am. I dont want to sound anywhere close to a misogynist, but I’ve noticed that through these dating apps, people seem to pigeonhole themselves into seemingly being one-dimensional and that’s concerning because even the people, ugly in their heart, are filled with endless depth that many do not know of, and while the physical aspect isn’t there, it’s still an odd, new thing that we’re still wrapping our heads around. I’m also very concerned about cis-women because I’m not convinced that they like men, but aspects of “masculinity” that are derived from social expectations but that are inhabited by those who I describe as “men-adjacent” (fruits, transwomen/transmen, dudes who know about hello kitty, dudes with a decent to great skincare routine, etc.) and by that I mean that this notion of the definition of masculinity, some machismo enigma of hard labor and bad takes, is 1. Not sought after and 2. Behind the times, maybe even forgotten, and it’s destroying my brain because what the fuck is the point of Irish Spring, Axe bodyspray, Old Spice and beard oil if that’s not what I would presume their dating pool would be, women, want from them at all? It’s still hitting me and it’s not that im even affected by this in any romantic sense (I’m nonbinary and have a devotion to looking as attractive as possible by almost any means) it’s just baffling…

And i know what the variable is that I’m missing! Conservative “people”! That’s not a bad point to make, but even those fools do exactly what I was alluding too. The gun girl cunt bitch lady has the most twinked up gayed out husband and the other shapiro also has a husband that is so against the conventions that they preach and so with that, I will say that the biggest voice for this arbitrary nonsense are not the ones that practice, but the ones who preach…

I’m just very alone romantically and it’s really making my grit my teeth so fucking bad! It’s not a sex thing! I’ve already had sex I dont even care about these primal, carnal urges I just WANT A FUCKING HUG WITH SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT ME!!! I WILL NOT SURRENDER AND GIVE UP ON CIS WOMEN BUT GODDAMN THEY ARE RETARDS!!!

[ratabethchase]

I posted 19,126 times in 2022

That's 4,359 more posts than 2021!

51 posts created (0%)

19,075 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@existentialvoidofexistence

@jelly-pies

@ironghostie

@wouldthehill

@an-odd-idea

I tagged 461 of my posts in 2022

#ask - 10 posts

#asks - 9 posts

#slay - 3 posts

#&lt;3 - 3 posts

#percy jackson - 3 posts

#!!! - 2 posts

#i dont want him to think its not in a bro way and i dont even know how much physical contact we have even had but. like. yearning dude. - 2 posts

#nice - 2 posts

#the 1 by taylor swift - 2 posts

#i have three windows open at all times - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#friendly reminder that space junk in orbit that is more than 10 cm in width (i think) can do incredible domino effect-like damage. and this

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

TAYLOR SWIFT WROTE MASTERMIND ABOUT ANNABETH CHASE

9 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

#4

JUST READ UR BIO WHEN WAS UR BIRTHDAY???????

OMG SLAY!! MY BIRTHDAY IS 6TH OF SEPTEMBER AND SINCE IM AUSTRALIAN THAT MEANS ITS 6/9 😎😎😎😎😎😎

9 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

#3

neurotypical friends do not understand

26 notes - Posted May 1, 2022

#2

woah woah woah! i might delete this a bit later cause i think im gonna work on it some more tomorrow but. still reeling over that fact i made this.

[ID: two similar glass cups of tea next to each other. the one on the left is a reference photograph for a painting on the left. the reference has a big leaf in the cup and a simple background whereas the left does not have either. the painting has two hearts above it, one brownish-pink and the other green.]

26 notes - Posted June 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

ten songs i love by different artists

omg thank you @existentialvoidofexistence for tagging me!! i was very close to reblogging your post just to be an asshole but you're lucky <3

Stand Tall from Julie and the Phantoms

I could listen to this song a million times and i would literally never stop going absolutely bonkers at it. I love it so so much dude i need to rewatch jatp

2. Hate Myself by dodie

just. such a good song. i struggled to pick a dodie song because i love all of them so much but this was the first to come to mind

3. Bad Reputation by Joan Jett

This is such a headbanger and i have been listening to it recently bc my band might do a cover of it which will be fun. i dont know if i can sing like joan jett though

4. That's Not My Name by The Ting Tings

i have no idea how i even found out about this song but it goes so hard .

5. Madison by Orla Gartland

madison is my proof to my irls that i listened to orla gartland before heartstopper because when i was writing my english creative piece i had it stuck in my head so i named the two characters madison and orla.

6. Waiting in the Wings from Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure

legit have not even seen this show. i just watched this animatic on youtube and i have been hooked on it ever since. it just makes me Feel Things.

7. Real Gone by Sheryl Crow

the song from cars. my brother has watched cars so much out loud that i have grown to love this song. my teacher also saw me listening to it once and got excited that i also liked sheryl crow

8. My Tennessee Mountain Home by Dolly Parton

omg showing off that broad music taste. country music gets so much slander and for what. i love this song so much.

9. 1985 by Bo Burnham

slaps.

10. Bright Lights Bigger City/Magic from Pitch Perfect

i am obsessed with pitch perfect. it is so misogynistic and so feminist at the same time.

honestly though. these are just the most recent songs ive listened to lol!

no pressure tags for some mutuals and some people i see in my notes quite often:

@yaznomarbles @woweejoeyrichter @wands-n-lillies @ironghostie @guyhusbands @franken-pigeon @hillerska-official @fluencca @an-odd-idea @wouldthehill @whyare-youlooking

@insanitysmiles @comradebacterium @auaddict @bluedragonbaby @coffeeflavoredtears525600 @cowboy-lesbian @darkarfs @murkat @brorphine @repetitive-tautology

jeez that was a lot more tags than i thought i would do but. yeah. do it or dont do it

34 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review