march 22cd is gonna be a huge day for the three of my exes who said i was too good for them / didn’t deserve them during the breakup because one of Hozier’s new songs coming out is all abt that perspective (Too Sweet) and i’m happy for them to finally have a banger song to add to the breakup playlist rotation
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It’s the not knowing, that gets him.
The not knowing what could’ve happened if Eddie Munson had made it out of that fight.
They’d barely known each other, spent a few days fighting monsters after a few months of barely acknowledging each other over the head of their mutual friend after a few years of avoiding each other in the high school hallways.
But those few days were something. It took him a while to realise that, or, to come to terms with the fact that it probably wasn’t all in his head, but they were.
He spends more time than is probably healthy thinking about what could’ve happened, even if he forces the thoughts to stay inside his head, where they can’t hurt Dustin any more than his death already did.
Would they have been friends? Linked together similarly to him and Robin? He could see it. Nights where the three of them curled up on his bed until the sun rose and they could breathe again. Evenings spent watching movies and getting high and talking until their voices gave out.
Would they have been more? There was tension, he knows tension. Could write a whole book on signals and looks and the shifts in tone. Even if he was just trying to deal with the situation he’d ended up in, and he’d been the only age-appropriate guy around, that still left a foot in the door. They could’ve cracked it open some more, taken a step inside. Could’ve learned each other. Could’ve slotted next to one another like puzzle pieces, matching their scars up when they pressed together.
They could’ve just fallen back to routine. Eddie spending time with the kids when he wasn’t. Trading looks over Dustin’s head only a bit heavier after sharing the secrets of what lurked below.
Or Eddie could’ve been swept away by the government. Or hidden away with Hopper. Or arrested in the hospital. Or taken out by the mob. Or or or or.
Not every scenario was nice, but they ran through his head anyway.
Because, the fact was he would never know. Would never get the choice to learn, to see. To either grow with him or grow separately or grow apart.
There was a whole future, full of whatever life he was supposed to have, just gone. Stomped out and leaving blood stains on the ground of the Upside Down. Leaving Dustin broken open and a name no one would let them clear and a skittish look to anyone who dared to be different, in case they were blamed for the next Hawkins tragedy.
Any of those possibilities or a million other ones he couldn’t think of, left empty and dissatisfied. Because he just couldn’t know.
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