#what the FUCK is a TROUT!!

[letoscrawls]

Leto II after catching that sand trout and single handedly changing the trajectory of the life of every single person in the universe for thousands of years to come:

#dune #dune spoilers #leto ii atreides #god-emperor of dune spoilers #the fact Paul procrastinated the golden path his whole life and then said fuck it im not doing this and dipped #while his son took those trouts like the morning coffe #this is what happened it's true

[fishareglorious]

I have embraced the crackwriter title. Dabbling on crackships rn, so, Yelan/Cloud Retainer, anyone?

#yelan #ningguang #shenhe #cloud retainer #genshin impact #trout talks #snippets #yelan: *about CR* ayo can i hit #ganyu: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU #side ganqing i guess #this is borne out of my want of a crackfic with cr in it #someone please give fic recs i am starving

[deepfriedtrout]

tfw when the woman you just slept with reveals she knows you've committed five million war crimes then offers you a pretty sweet faustian? you will die five million times if you agree bargain if u work under this one company.

but what happens next will surprise you:

what happens next is that I haven't written it. sorry.

#outis #faust #snippets #trout talks #limbus company #dont know what faust exactly offers to her and that is the problem. i can't really finish this without writing that aint it #kindave born out of me eyeing odysseus' wiki page. manwhore mondays for 10 years straight baby #of course there are different interpretations of circe and calypso's roles with keeping him around but for the sake of a little comedy and #me leaning into outis' general shrewd sycophantic nature that we currently see. im gonna say that she FUCKS. this is a strength and #a weakness. she cannot turn down beautiful women even knowing it'll lead to disaster but she can fuck her way into getting what she wants. #hashtag girlboss #btw she also misses her wife dearly at the same time here

[accidental-host]

Ok real talk cookie run nation, YES Clotted Cream seems like they’ll be a really interesting character. YES they seem cool and their ribbon tentacles are so fun. But we cannot lose sight of the fact that this is blatant sexybait

#cookie run #cookie run kingdom #clotted cream cookie #this is related to my last asks I just wanted to make a separate post about it #and yknow what. I can admit it #I do think he’s fine as hell in a pathetic wet rag corrupt politican ‘I can fix him’ type of way #self awareness is all I ask for here it’s ok to fall for sexybait sometimes it happens to the best of us #clotted cream was laid out like a worm on a hook and I’m a dumb fucking gay trout #it’s ok to fall for the occasional sexybait. we just have to stay aware

[bekmadethis]

Just letting you all know that Neil Gaiman and FourPlay delivered exactly the results you’d expect from giving five extremely skilled total goobers an internationally renowned stage to giggle on.

#neil gaiman #fourplay string quartet #sydney opera house #How did five people basically standing in a line the entire time manage to hypnotise me #fishing for trout in unfamiliar waters #it was excellent what the fuck was that #Batman

[junonreactor]

remembering to put on my night guard for the first time in a While because of how aware i am of clenched jaw post-6 hours of frontlines

#also i learned that if you are tiny people have a hard time spotting and targeting you in a crowd #which makes claiming contested nodes noticeably easier. i got nodes today on trout that i wouldn't even have gotten near with unwavering. #really really funny. fuck samurai forever though amen #ein babbles #to delete #''what time is it right now'' don't worry about it

[kurp-stuff]

.

#i think something collapsed on the electric lines in my street. i heard a weird smthg falling then snake like electric noise at idk 1 or 2am #i checked my appartement and there was nothing wrong. electricity was working and all #and now (4 am) it isnt anymore. and i heard some guys with a vehicule discuss and do stuff in the street #anyway...all that to say.....AGAIN ?????? Cause YEAH that already happened a few months ago. not even 6 months ago ??? and lasted until lik #1pm #i checked it was in mid november #anyway the guys moved their truck. their not in front of my place anymore but the electricity isnt back. tho i think i can hear them farthe #in the street. I hope it just doesnt last until the afternoon this time #i think the weirdest part is that i specifically remember getting salmon out of the freezer that day in november to eat at noon #which is not something i do that often cause eating fresh fish i freezed is something i try to scatter in time so that it would be #occasional treats (also i am poor). BUT GUESS WHAT I JUST DID YESTERDAY BEFORE GOING TO BED. i took out trout out of the freezer for noon 😭 #like it's almost the same fucking fish fr #i hope i dont have to wait after 12pm to cook it like last time 🤡 #(actually if i remember last time i even had to go buy a sandwich at the nearest convenience store and the electricity only came back at 3p #and not 1 like a previously said) #anyways gonna try to preserve some phone battery and sleep 🥴) #good night tristate area #personal

[campyvillain]

passed out and had a dream that tumblr staff just quit one day without warning and the entire website was just like a basic screen of html code and people were posting things like “YOU FUCKING GUYS WHATS GOING ON” “WHERES THE WEBSITE” “WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO” and staff posted a youtube link where some teary eyed shirtless dude with no nipples explained that “you bitches don’t deserve a website. make one yourselves” so everyone unanimously decided to hold an election to decide who was going to be the king of tumblr and the election decided that some random middleaged man named Jinkle Fishwipe would be the new president of tumblr and there was some sort of live recording where it was revealed that Jinkle was literally just One Trout that someone dumped onto a podium and then it died. and at that point everyone in the audience took out daggers and started stabbing each other. and then i woke up

[my--moon]

❝ Tonight is ours ❞

Pairing; Percy Jackson X Fem!Reader (Child of Dionysus) Warning; TEASED SMUT. READ AT OWN RISK PLEASE.. situation-ship? angst A/N; @riordanness, I hope your happy honey. this is your dinner. (Fluff, Angst and Smut) Full course meal

Previous: Daddy Doesn't Like You

The two stated that that wouldn't happen again.

That was a fucking lie. It wasn't long after the "situation" that Percy came back to her cabin.

Knock knock kn-knock knock! He tapped rhythmically against the plum coloured door, the grape vines wrapping against the porch freely. Seems nobody bothers calling a Gardner... Or a Demeter kid.

The child of Dionysus opened the door, clutching a bottle of suspiciously red coloured liquid in one hand and the door in the other.

“Oh great.” She rolled her eyes. (Y/N) looked the sea prince up and down. “What do you want? I'm NOT in the mood for a fuck sess. So this better be good.”

“Relax,” Percy put his hands up in surrender. “I came for a friendly chat... And a drink, whatcha got in that bottle?”

(Y/N) looked down at her bottle, and swished the red liquid around. “Cheap booze.” She answered.

“Uh huh, so it's too expensive for my taste?” He smirked before getting swatted by (Y/N)'s hand.

“The more of a smartass you are, the less booze you get.” She hissed. Percy chuckled before walking into her cabin, silently locking the door behind him.

(Y/N) walked into her bedroom area, with her desk, bed and wardrobe. She fumbled over to her desk chair, the sunsets rays shone through the curtains, casting a wine colour onto the floors.

Percy took a swig of the wine she held. It took him a moment before replying with a look of disgust. “Oh this is horrid.” He said, passing it back to her.

“Told.. you. Cheap.” She said, hating the taste but still taking a sip.

(Y/N) was absolutely stunning in Percy's eyes (even when half drunk). Percy was always a bit of a sucker for moody women, with her (h/c) fluffy hair, with (s/c) skin and features that challenge Aphrodite's...

When she smiles at him, his mind goes blank. He can already see himself doing anything she asks. Whatever she wanted from him, he’d happily offer it up. Who wouldn’t, when looking into her eyes?

“You should smile.” He said offhandedly, his own smile playing at his lips. A mischievous smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Shut up.” (Y/N) glared.

“C'mon. You're still mad about last time?” Percy questioned, already knowing the answer but wanting to hear her say it.

“Of course I am! You left your necklace and my dad found out! Do you realise how hard it is to convince my dad that I'm not sleeping with you?”

“You mean wasn't.” Percy corrected. “You mean 'that I wasn't sleeping with you'.” Correcting her grammar with a smug smile—made her groan in annoyance.

“Shut. Up. Trout breath.” (Y/N) hissed at him, placing the bottle back on her table.

“Trout breath? I've heard Seaweed Brain, but trout breath is new.” Percy chuckled softly.

“What did I just say?”

Percy rolled his eyes at her defiance and annoyed glare. “Listen, just c'mere.” He beckoned her over.

(Y/N) cocked an eyebrow at before reluctantly standing up and shuffling over to him. “What do you want—”

“You.” He cuts her off, his face inches away from her own.

“Pardon?”

Before she can get a response—Lips smashed together, her eyes widened but quickly close, warm tongues dance in each other's mouths. He grabs her hips and pulls her close.

She holds herself up by grabbing on his bicep. Leaning against the bed, the pair fall on their backs as their lost in their own passion.

For a moment, they break apart, (Y/N) panting and hungry for more. Percy just smirks. “I thought you weren't in the mood for a fuck sess?”

“Shut the fuck up and kiss me.” She replied, gripping onto his collar for leverage. Percy does as he's told.

His lips caressed her own, his palms make their way up and down. Gliding along her waist and hips like she was a delicate jewel.

The sun set as the two's moans and 'delighted' sounds got louder. The (h/c) girl groaned at his tongue in her mouth.

A fist full of the sheets scrunched up in her hands, her head thrown back as Percy removed his tongue from her mouth.

Percy looked at her neck and back at her. “May I, dear?” He asked. (Y/N) nodded, then he started his assault of hickeys on her neck. A low moan escaped from her throat, followed by breathless pants.

“Mmrph...!”

Percy found his way over to her shirt buttons, unbuttoning her shirt. As the piece of clothing slipped out, so did his own shirt.

“Relax, sweetheart. Let me handle it.” He whispered with a grin as (Y/N)'s eyes rolled back.

Outside of the cabin, the grape vines that wrapped around the porch beams—started to tighten and bloom. The grapes ripened almost immediately, the juicy grapes ready to pick.

People outside—who we're heading back to their cabins for their night routines—looked confused at the grapes sudden ripening.

They shrugged off the question—they assumed it was similar to the Demeter kids powers, growing and blossoming depending on their emotions.

Of course, they weren't technically wrong.

As the night washed over the blue sky, and the colours of the day turned dark—The pair inside the Dionysus cabin hadn't stopped.

“Uh~”

“Quiet down, honey.”

The two's drunken states became lust filled and passionate. Their love and alcohol driven states had lead to another night of ecstasy and desire. Another promise broken.

The sound of (Y/N)'s alarm rang throughout the Dionysus cabin. (Y/N) reluctantly arose from her slumber and tried to turn off her alarm clock.

“C'mon..” She groaned, banging on the clock's buttons to turn it off. She moaned in annoyance, as she flung the clock off her beside table, making it crash and break on the hardwood floors of the wine cabin.

(Y/N) looked down at the damage she made, letting out a small 'eh' as she shrugged it off. She fell back and hit the plush pillow. She turned over to find Percy, sleeping next to her.

He started to stir, his eyes flicking open. Spotting (Y/N) looking at him, a grin placed on his lips. His arms snaked around her body—this was all too familiar.

(Y/N) pushed him away. Percy's brows furrowed at her distant behaviour. “Hey.. What's wrong?”

“It's like last time.” She mumbled, grabbing her oversized shirt and slipping it on.

“Not true.” Percy argued playfully. “Your dad isn't knocking at our door. and I haven't called you vino yet.”

“My door.” she corrected. (Y/N) sighed before speaking in a whisper. “Besides.. It's a cycle at this point. You come over, we argue, we fuck, we don't talk for a few days—then it repeats.”

Percy paused, his grin faltered. “Well...” (Y/N) cut him off.

“Percy. Is a hook-up all I'll ever be to you?” She asked, her expression blank but her eyes asking for reassurance.

Percy kept his arms locked around her body, resting his chin on her shoulder, before answering her.

“Look... (Y/N). You're an amazing girl, and I do love you. If your dad didn't hate my guts, I'd 100% call you mine—”

“You've already done that. The hickeys prove it.”

Percy chuckled before continuing. “Yea yea, either way. (Y/N), I do love you. But until your dad comes around, this is all we can do.”

(Y/N) felt better knowing at least this wasn't loveless. “Thank you... Percy. For everything really.”

“I haven't done anything for you though?”

“well... Besides back pain and bruises, you're right.”

“You're an idiot. y'know?”

“oh shush. Now c'mon. If we get up now—guarantee on hot breakfast.” (Y/N) reminded, which made Percy smile and laugh.

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #nico di angelo #pjo tv show #book!Percy Jackson #percy jackson x y/n #percy jackson x you #percy jackson x reader #Dionysus!reader #Dionysus cabin #dionysus #Mr. D pjo #Mr. D #Dionysus pjo

[freak-accident419]

Good Tidings

Josh Futturman x GN!Reader

Summary: You and Josh barely have any time to yourselves due time traveling nonstop, trying to save the fate of humanity. However, being at the Futturman’s Christmas dinner party granted you two a fair amount of time.

Word Count: 2.9k

Content: 18+ Smut, MDNI, gender neutral reader (no genitals specified, it’s just vague penetration), cockwarming, lots of fluff, takes place during Future Man S1E6 “A Blowjob Before Dying”, too much shitty sex jokes n puns (im sorry) (not), giddy+silly+sweet love making, you think you are sooo fucking funny, more goofy than serious/lustful, you two are very much in love, more plot (high ass dialogue) than porn tbh

(A/n: Merry Christmas to those who celebrate!! Hope you enjoy this muahahaha and thank you all for your recent support! First smut written on this account, so be gentle with me please !)

-

You, Tiger, Wolf, and Josh were at the Futturman household, schedule disrupted due to the reluctance of Josh’s parents. They insisted that you all join them for their small Christmas dinner party. You were all sat down at the dining table, as well as the neighbors, Josh’s Uncle Barry, and Diane’s friend, Wanda (who was especially invited to perhaps keep Barry at bay).

While Tiger was mostly impatient and displeased with every mindless convo and laughter, talk revolved around several topics like DNA kits or Wolf’s strangely fascinating culinary.

You sat beside your boyfriend, Josh, slightly nervous about the time you were wasting. Ever since you’ve been dragged into the whole ‘Biotic Wars is real’ and ‘kill or be killed’ shit, you and Josh have been dealing with the worst, unimaginable shit ever. With the two of your adrenaline wearing off, you gradually processed everything that’s happened the past few days since you were never given a break. Hence the hand holding under the table as you two would seek comfort from one another.

But you attempted to distract yourself from the deaths you’ve witnessed and the near-death experiences you’ve had to your best ability by indulging in every conversation.

“Gabe, honey, tell them about—about the recent fishing trip we went on,” Josh’s mother, Diane encouraged to her husband with her sweet, achingly kind voice. You had so much respect for Josh’s parents, so it was pretty easy for you all to hit it off well. They loved you. In fact, they were heavily relieved that Josh had finally found someone, let alone someone as amazing as you.

Gabe let out a hearty chuckle as he prepared himself to tell the table his story.

“So, a couple of days ago, Diane and I went on a small fishing trip. And I remembered an old trick back in the day that attracted a lot of trout,” he explained as you picked up your glass of wine, sipping some generously. Diane smiled at him with a nod as he continued. “One of the very efficient ways to go about fish bait is blowing worms.”

You choke on your wine, holding in a laugh, coughing a bit instead as Josh looks at you with a knowing smile. “I’m sorry, what?” You asked, trying not to grin too widely. Did you hear that right?

“Blowing worms,” Gabe repeated, getting a confined chuckle out of you and Josh. “You inflate the worms with air, which makes them float instead of having your bait be at the very bottom. It’s perfect, especially near the winter time. Worked like a charm.”

“Ohh,” you gasp in wonder. You chuckle to yourself before you spontaneously say, “Yeah, actually, I think I did do that a few times. Blew a-a worm.”

You looked at Josh, thinking you were being hilarious, but he looked at you with surprised eyes and parted lips of shock that slowly transitioned into a smile.

“Really?” Josh’s father expressed with intrigue. “I didn’t even know you fish. You have someone teach you that method, or—”

“Oh, no, Mr. Futturman, I,” you speak as you occasionally switch from looking at him to Josh. “I think it’s a very popular method. It’s a pretty natural instinct, you know? Blowing worms, that is.”

“Wow, really? Always thought it was an old-fashioned sort of thing.”

“Nah, far from old-fashioned, it’s almost contemptuous!”

You did pretty well at suppressing your laughter, because you sounded really earnest. Josh covered his mouth, amused by your subtle humor.

“Joshy, we didn’t know that Y/n likes fishing. We could’ve taken them on our trip. In fact, we could’ve all went,” Diane suggests as she looked at Josh and then you.

It was like everyone at the table was blind to your immature, yet humorous implication. Except, of course, your boyfriend.

“Oh, no worries, Mrs. Futturman,” you insisted kindly. “I don’t usually fish. Plus, blowing worms can be very exhausting.”

“Y/n—” Josh reacted, but interrupted himself with a suppressed laugh.

“You think so?” Mr. Futturman raised an eyebrow. “I just stick a syringe in them, inflate it, and bam, it’s all thick and ready to g—”

You and Josh burst out laughing, holding onto the table and each other. You swore there were slight tears coming out of your eyes as both of your faces were red. You felt overjoyed to feel happiness and delight for the first time ever since your involvement in the mission. And you felt even more glad that it was your boyfriend that you fooled around with.

“Sorry, sorry,” Josh says after his laughter died down as the entire table was confused. “I just—We just thought about a, um, moment when—Um… Actually, Y/n and I did go fishing once. Isn’t that—isn’t that right?”

You nod and go along with it, detaining your giggles.

“Well, anyways, we actually did that method, and yeah, you’re right, it works like a charm!” He exclaimed with joy as his parents smile at him with approval and pride.

“Bet the worm was pretty small, huh?” Tiger jumped in wittily, however, in a coldly nonchalant manner.

“And pathetic!” Wolf blurted.

“Hey, even if that might’ve been true—might’ve—it-it probably had a personality, you know?” He reckoned with a shrug, making you laugh again.

***

“You are—are fucking terrible, you know that?” Josh quickly muttered under his breath as you two continued to kiss each other deeply on his bed. “Those were my parents.”

“C’mon, baby, admit it, it was comedy gold,” you giggle, pressing your lips to his once more by tugging his black, skinny necktie towards you as you remained sitting on his lap.

The dinner party was still going on downstairs. After a long time of looking at each other longingly at the table, you two decided to excuse yourselves in order to “prepare gifts for Josh’s coworkers that he forgotten to wrap” in his room.

When you guys rushed in his room, you couldn’t take your hands off each other, immediately making out once the door was locked. However, you then had to close all his blinds before you met him back on the bed. This wasn’t new to you, none of it was. The soft, warm orange that his room’s light emitted strangely comforted you, as well as being back on his soft, spacey mattress.

Was it a good idea to leave Tiger and Wolf alone with Josh’s family and company? Probably not. But you’ve taught them enough shit. They tolerate Josh’s parents, so why not a few other guests as well? And you’ll only be gone for no longer than five minutes, you’d hoped.

You bring your hands to his pants, attempting to unbuckle his belt. “Shit—What the—What the fuck is this?” You grumble, Josh laughing at you as you struggle.

“I think it’s—” He giggled, bringing his own hands to his belt, trying to remove it, pulling. “I think it’s stuck.”

“What the shit?” You wheeze. “Fuckin’—Fuckin’ cock block!” You continue to mess with the belt, trying your best to unbuckle it.

“Wait, you—you’re almost there, you—”

“Oh my god! Holy shit! I got it!” You let out a surprised gasp, quickly unbuttoning and unzipping his pants right after.

“Oh shit! Flawless victory!” He exclaimed, making you stop in your tracks, looking back up at him.

“You did not just quote Mortal Kombat because I successfully unbuckled your belt,” you raise an eyebrow, nevertheless amused by his dorkiness.

“Maybe,” he answered smugly.

“You’re lucky I am in love with you, otherwise, I probably wouldn’t have let that slide,” you chuckle.

“Oh, come on. You’d love my video game references either way,” he insisted.

“I’m serious, Josh, the amount of things I’ve let slide because I love you is kind of crazy. Let me just say, I am so glad I met you after the ‘apple juice’ incident that Ray told me about.”

“Ray told you about that?”

“He told me a lot of things. Mostly the embarrassing things. I think he wanted to freak me out, you know? Always thought I was too good for you.”

You pulled his pants off, throwing it carelessly down on the floor. Your lips attached once more as he snickered as you then cupped his face with your warm hands. You look at your lover, his big, brown, desperate eyes looking at you with utmost adoration. “Well, jokes on him, he was entirely wrong. You are so good to me, you know that?”

He smiles at you softly, and you could sense how flustered he felt to hear that (the blushing patently gave it away). “You’re the one who’s been on my side since forever. Even when you got involved in all this shit that you didn’t even have to be in. You-You could’ve called me crazy, and-and broken up with me, but you believed me and stayed by my side, even knowing that things were gonna get dirty. And they did, get really dirty.” Rest in peace Janis and Carl? Or, rather, die, you evil perf-cocks? Eh, doesn’t fucking matter. “You’re so good for me, sometimes I can’t believe you’re even real.”

You giggle sweetly as you give him another kiss, a quiet smack caused by your lips deftly leaving his own to speak. “Well, I’m here and I’m real, and I’ll always be there for you, baby,” you reassure. You were perfect for him. Indefinitely.

He smiled blissfully. “I love you so much.”

You two made out passionately until you were laying under him, the lower halves of your bodies bare as you discarded the necessary clothes.

“Do you think your parents and everyone else knew about the worm thing or are they just that… I don’t know… clueless?” You asked endearingly under your breath as your fingers entangle in his soft, brown hair.

“Hmm. Possibly,” he reckons, raising his eyebrows as he thought about it. “That was still kind of evil of you, though.”

“Me, personally, I thought it was hilarious.”

“Blowing worms?”

“C’mon, your father set himself up for that.”

“Tiger called it small,” he muttered lamentably. “And Wolf said it was pathetic.”

“Jeez, whatever happened to personality?” You chuckle softly.

He sighed. “They still sort of called me out.”

“Shut up. It’s average, to say the least. Doesn’t matter either way, you’re enough.”

“But—”

“Josh, if it bothers you this much, then just prove them wrong right now,” you reply with a laugh.

“As in—?”

“Josh, c’mon, we don’t have time anyways. They’re expecting us any minute because of that shitty made-up story excuse. I love foreplay, dude, but I’m pretty sure we didn’t acknowledge the time at all. Quickies are definitely not our cup of tea. Y—” Your breath hitched as you felt his tip prod at your sensitive entrance. He gave you a soft, comforting kiss on the nose. You looked into each other’s eyes deeply, then your lips crashed into each other’s as the two of you stifled your moans once Josh finally thrusted in.

“Y-You know you’re p-perfect just the—mm—way you are, right?” You ask gently, wrapping your arms around his neck.

He smiled at this, kissing your lips once more, beginning to move. Your heart fluttered each second you felt him thrust in and out, slightly and satisfyingly stretching you. His hips moved quite skillfully, but also slightly clumsily, which was nonetheless admirable.

Your usual soft moans and gasps would be replaced by stifled grunts and sighs, due to the company downstairs. As much as you wanted the whole world to know that Josh Futturman was yours and only yours, you also had dignity—plus, it was his goddamn parents downstairs.

You giggled as you felt his nose against yours each rough kiss. “Y-You know, however, I think the only complaint I have about you is the fact that you hate Super Mario Bros.” You point out with a chuckle.

“Y/n, in my—agh—defense, it literally makes no sense. Like, why would there be pipes that are—”

“Okay, why rely solely on logic and rationality, hm, Futturman? I thought video games were all about escape. It’s all just harmless fun.”

“Yeah, well, I’m much more into games with thought-out plots and challenges,” he remarked, making you roll your eyes playfully. “Anyways, it pretty much just got ruined for me even more when Tracy at the video game store talked about Luigi having a very hairy, Italian cock.”

You raise an eyebrow.

“Baby, I love you. However, your goddamn dick is currently inside of me. Please do not talk about Luigi’s theoretic hairy penis.”

“Noted,” he assents, going back to kissing you passionately, while moving slowly inside of you, yet deeper with each thrust. You let out a quiet, pleasured gasp as you felt him fill you perfectly, his hands lovingly gripping your waist to keep you still.

Your eyes closed as you indulged in the feeling of his gentle thrusts, him peppering kisses on your neck, softly chuckling under his breath. He guessed he was still in disbelief that he had someone as amazing as you.

“I… I still can’t believe someone as perfect as you would ever go out with a loser like me,” he scoffed, pressing more kisses against your neck and jaw.

“Hey, seriously?” You frown, holding his face in your hands once more, stroking his cheeks with your thumbs. “You are… a lot of things, Josh. But a loser isn’t one of them. Okay? You are so kind and funny and caring and thoughtful a-and—m-mm—amazing i-in general.”

“I—Fuck. I—I don’t deserve you,” he panted.

“J-Jesus Christ, sh-shut your fuckin’ rathole. Yes you do, baby. You deserve me as much as I deserve you.”

It was becoming harder to focus on your words as you continued to feel an increased sensation and pleasure as his thrusts quicken and falter. You let out a small gasp as you tense things up by wrapping your legs around his waist to bring him in even deeper. You two had been speaking and giggling to each other constantly that you didn’t even notice the lewd, wet, slapping against the skin that came from each heavy thrust. Josh grabbed one of your hands, interlocking your fingers tightly on the mattress beside your head.

“J-Josh, I—” You begin breathlessly.

“I know, me too,” he grunts as soft, inaudible whimpers and whines leave his lips while the movement of his hips stuttered. His rhythm was becoming unsteady, but it was also increasing in speed. “I—Y/n, f-fuck, I’m c—”

“Sh-shit, baby, I—” You pant as you felt closer and closer over the edge, every mere feeling increasing your stimulation. You bring your hand to cover your mouth and suppress any loud moans as you finally released, the knot in your stomach undoing itself as you sigh afterwards once your hand left your mouth. Josh came exactly right after you as his hips jolted for the final time, spilling his warm, white seed inside of you, burying his face in your neck to muffle a high-pitched grunt and acute whines.

You two were breathing heavily, kissing each other’s lips softly and lovingly after you both came down from your high. You two never moved from your position, still fragile and sore. Josh caressed the side of your waist under your shirt, his head resting in your neck as you moved your hand to play with his hair, holding him in your arms.

“This is probably the only time we’ll have together alone before we have to continue with the damn mission,” you figured, tangling his strands of hair in between your fingers.

“It’s bullshit,” he mumbles, his thumb continuing to rub your waist.

“Enjoy the moment while we can?” You suggested with a small chuckle.

“Yeah, I guess,” he sighed dejectedly.

A beat.

“Hm,” you hum thoughtfully.

“Yeah?”

“Nothing, I just… I like it whenever you’re inside of me,” you comment softly. This was probably the most affectionately vulnerable and honest you have been with him. Your tone lacked any intention for humor or lust; you were genuine.

He lifted his head up from your neck. “Seriously?”

“I don’t know. It just feels right. You know, as if you were, like, made for me exactly,” you whispered lovesickly, looking down at his sweet, plump lips to his profound, gorgeous brown eyes. “I wanna stay like this a little longer. You’re so perfect for me. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” he replied with a smile, kissing your lips soothingly.

Then suddenly,

“Futturman! L/n! Get out of there, we gotta go now! Operation Cameronium!” Tiger called from the other side of the door. “Goddamnit. The fucking—tiny man—baby thing—is, just, really starting to piss me off. Let’s go!”

You and Josh looked at each other for a while in silence before bursting out into laughter.

“We-we better go before she considers murdering little baby Wallace,” you suggest with a soft smile.

“Yeah… Wait. Do you really think—”

“No…” You answer before he could finish his sentence. “I know she seems all stoic on the outside, but I feel like the past few days, she changed a bit. Empathy-wise. Slightly, at the very least.” Josh nods.

“I’m really gonna miss this,” he sighs.

“Me too. But don’t worry, once we fix everything, we have all the time in the world together,” you assert.

“Okay,” he smiles sweetly, kissing your lips before slowly pulling out of you, leaving you to feel empty and slightly bummed.

The two of you, with your clothes back on and hair quickly fixed, you waltzed downstairs with no problem. Your hands had been interlocked, faces a bit flushed as you smile to yourselves.

“You two sure look happy,” Diane expresses joyfully. “You really got into the Christmas spirit, wrapping all those gifts upstairs, huh?”

You giggled under your breath. “Oh, yeah, definitely, Mrs. Futturman. Uh, very much so. I really love Christmas, you know? The gift wrapping Joshy and I did upstairs and, you know, all the Christmas traditions. ‘Specially, ‘specially the yule log.” You look at Josh with a knowing grin as he just listened in, suspecting nothing at all. “Really makes you feel warm inside, am I right?”

#josh hutcherson #josh hutcherson x reader #future man #future man 2017 #future man x reader #josh futturman #josh futturman x reader #josh hutcherson smut #josh futturman smut #josh futturman x gn!reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader #mike schmidt #peeta mellark #sean anderson #clapton davis #smut #josh hutcherson fanfic #mike schmidt x reader #peeta mellark x reader #clapton davis x reader

[deepfriedtrout]

skrunkly little beast (ignore the homoerotic thumb sucking on the left)

#snippets #trout talks #we literally don't know that much about these two but fuck it. what if i was a foreigner snooping around your town and u were a local #schoolteacher who's a mermaid with very sharp teeth #merui please drop the 1.8 livestream plaese

[darubyprincx]

if tumblr existed in empires s1 then the dashboard would look a little bit like this i think

🏜️ cactus-abolitionist

MY CAT JUST RAN OUTSIDE IN THE MIDDLE OF A SANDSTORM IM

🌿 theres-no-place-like-gnome Follow

oh no are they okay?? i don't know how serious sandstorms are but maybe you could go after them?

🏜️ cactus-abolitionist

Sand blowing past you at upwards of 75kmh. It's also really hot sand. It's been known to literally strip the flesh off of bones wait post cancelled my cat just walked back in she's fine guys

9 notes

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

visiting the Mythlands today and me and my family found a neat lil natural floating island while hiking

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

to the people in my notes going "what the fuck": have y'all never heard of physics?

🥀 remorse-is-remorse-of-course Follow

OP WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU LIVE WHERE THIS IS NORMAL

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

western mezalea?? lol

🔧 verylostmechanic Follow

well that explains a lot.

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

Can I Help You

🔧 verylostmechanic Follow

ain't emperor joel dating a fish

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

yeah, they're married. Isn't Emperor Joey a demonfucker????

#dude why are the notes arguing over the ethics of being ruled by a demon 😭 what the fuck #op im so sorry

11,798 notes

🌸 prismarined Follow

...i'm in this class thats being taught by the headmaster today and she smells like weed. i'm not gonna say anything but like. what

🦦 i-like-otters

yeah the academy's just like that. as long as she's not like, actively dying or anything she's probably fine??? idk o7

#reblog

2 notes

⌛️ thelittlesandthatcan Follow

I JUST GOT BACK FROM A BUSINESS TRIP WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THE COPPER KING'S GONE

🐟 kelpieselkie Follow

I DONT KNOW I DONT LIVE THERE BUT apparently nobody expected it either?? like some people are saying it was the Dragon Fight that did it (i know Emperor Joey came out with statements that Emperor Riffs actually helped kill the dragon and unleash the demon but its been two days and we all know that he hates that guy so idk) but nobody actually knows anything. it's crazy bro

⌛️ thelittlesandthatcan Follow

my mom said the royal housekeepers found a note from him alongside like everything he owned but they're not saying what's on the note yet. holy shit

237 notes

🐠 fishfucker997

this will definitely have an impact on the local trout population

🏰 all-the-kings-hen Follow

the Guardian of the Thirteenth Empire just died and you're worried about fish???? be for real omg

🐠 fishfucker997

have you people never heard of references in your life

🏰 all-the-kings-hen Follow

why are you interacting with me i literally have "codlanders dni" in my bio

🐠 fishfucker997

my brother in cod you literally reblogged this from me??

🐠 fishfucker997

they blocked me lmao

#how is this post only 2 days old

197,233 notes

🐪 camel Follow

she dragon fight on my copper king til i disappear

elvfish-deactivated-20210503

who the hell let a camel onto this site lol

🐪 camel Follow

You will die at age 87 with nobody to mourn you and no stars still shining to watch you go.

#911 i just witnessed a murder

87,546 notes

🌻 helantheia

anyone know who made emperor pearl's dress? it's really pretty :0

0 notes

📷 desertphotography

West of the River of Plenty, Pixandria

2,307 notes

#ray's tag #mcyt #empires smp s1 #empires smp #pix would absolutely still have tumblr btw. hed be posting aesthetic pictures in the middle of exile #this took me way too long to put together you're all welcome #fake post #fake posts #writing #keys' writing

[the-kr8tor]

Hi! could you please do a fluff+comfort of Hobie comforting reader that is struggling with choosing what their gonna follow in college/university, and could the reader be non binary please, thank you!

(also I love BDAS it's single handedly feeding my need for pirate Hobie, and your writing is absolutely amazing🧡)

(this is also my first time making a request so could I be 🃏 anon if it's free please)

Thank you for requesting! And welcome 🃏 anon!! (Sorry this took so long, I hope you found the right major for you! ❤️) I hope you like it!

Pairing: Hobie Brown x nb! Reader/ Spider-Punk x nb! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, No specific physical description of the reader, CW food mentions, hurt/comfort, fluff.

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

University pamphlets are scattered all over the floor of your bedroom, knees tucked under you, eyes glaring at the dozens of papers laid in front of you. You have no idea which college to go to or even what major to take. Your hand trembles once again at the thought of losing time, wasting the precious minutes as the clock tick tocks on your side table.

You know you want something to do with art, but there's so many options that it makes your head swirl with all the names of possible majors. Thumping your head on the side of your bed, frustrated doesn't quite describe the feeling you have right now.

The carpet under you is suddenly itchy under your legs, the soft tick tocks are ringing in your ears like a damn gong inside your head.

Your curtains shift, the familiar sound of the window opening and closing isn't much of a surprise around this time of the night.

Hobie's shoes land quietly on your floors, he takes it off quickly before the soles stain your floors. Walking silently, he shifts his eyes at the red numbers on the clock, then to your hunched form. The plastic in his hand crinkles as he drops it on the foot of your bed, careful not to spill.

He pokes your cheeks, gloved hand against your soft skin. “You're contemplating again. Your pout makes you look like a bloody trout.” Sitting down, you don't acknowledge him. Now he's properly concerned. “Oi,” he goes to the softer approach by sliding his hand behind your neck, kneading it gently. “Hunchback of Notre dame, are you alright?”

You snort, finally looking at him through sticky tear drenched lashes. “Did you just call me Quasimodo?”

“Who the fuck is Quasimodo?”

Finally letting out a chuckle, the sound melts his concerns a tad bit. “The hunchback of Notre dame,” you say matter-of-factly. “We need to watch the movie now, Hobie.”

“Right, and then you'll fall asleep again like last time hmm?” Hobie tilts his head, the simple act makes you want to smooch the smirk off his face.

Moonlight spills in your room, illuminating his handsome face. He adds insult to injury when he slides his hands down to your back, pulling you in then embracing you. His smell wafts over you, relaxing your tensed muscles.

“See, already fallin’ asleep.” He murmurs against the crown of your head as you make his chest your home.

“I don't know what to do.” You blurt out, and he pulls you in, impossibly closer to him that you two almost become one.

“You'll figure it out, like you always do.” His hand is splayed atop your waist, squeezing slightly to ease you further into relaxing.

“I don't have the time to figure it all out, Hobie.”

“Yes you bloody do.” He takes your face in his hand, patting your cheek with his thumb, index laying on your temple, carefully massaging the tight muscle. His voice is soft and full of certainty, no ounce of malice. “Look at all these colleges,” he picks up one pamphlet nearest to him. “And— I don't think anyone's this happy to go to college.” He jokes, showing you the model's wide grin. “Look at this happy bloke carrying his books that must've cost an entire month's rent!”

You laugh into his suit, the sound reverberates through his bones, almost making him dance. “I could be that happy. If I can just choose.”

“You can be that happy, love. I know you can, yeah?” He shakes your shoulders. “I was saying before this fiend—” he wiggles the paper in his hand, and you chuckle, “Stopped me, is that all of these unis and majors would be happy to have you. They'd be fucking lucky to be chosen by you.”

Sniffing, you crane your neck to peck his cheek. It earns a content sigh from Hobie.

“That worked?” He asks through his smile, fingers taking a fallen eyelash off your cheek. “Make a wish?”

“Of course it worked, Hobie. You could say anything in that voice of yours and kiss the living hell out of me and it would still cheer me up.” With a gentle blow, you make your wish.

“Anythin' huh?” He pokes your side with a teasing smile. “What'd you wish for?”

“If I tell you it wouldn't come true now would it?”

“If I bribe you with a sandwich from that place you like, will you tell me?” He twists his long arm, patting the crunching plastic.

“Maybe…” you narrow your eyes. “Add a kiss for good measure?”

He's already leaning in, lips brushing along yours. “Mm-hmm bribery, when did I stoop so low?” Smiling, he presses sweetly on your lips.

#request done #spider punk x reader #hobie brown x reader #the kr8tor's creations #hobie brown #atsv fanfiction #spider punk #atsv fanfic #atsv x reader #atsv hobie #fanfic #hobie brown x nb! reader #spider punk x nb! reader #hobie brown x you #spider punk x you #hobie brown hurt/comfort #hobie fluff #hobie brown fluff #🃏 anon

[melrosing]

I do feel like the Tullys got pretty unlucky when GRRM was dealing out house traits, like what’s their sigil?? a fucking fish. all the other houses get to have fun w their inner furry but you know no son of Tully ever ran around a battlefield calling himself the Young Trout. then what are their words?? family duty honour. three unseasoned abstract nouns

then GRRM just starts taking the piss and naming them all after muppets like old man pls was the red wedding not ENOUGH

[bonefall]

You knowww, every now and then I come across someone else's AU project and I see a little sentiment somewhere on the blog that they fear... not being creative enough, or borrowing too many ideas from me in particular, or something similar.

And then, in another post, they'll also be worrying that changing one element or another will spoil things, or that leaning into one character or concept being too bad will come across as "bashing" it, or for some reason they'll end up breaking things if they alter something

To both of those things I gotta say... break shit! Fuck it up! Destroy something and then have fun putting it back together! "How do I go forth and make a conlanguage?" Just do it! "What if it looks like I'm bashing Bramblestar?" If you end up bashing him, you can just put him back together in a way you like more later. "I have this cool idea but how do I make it work?" Figure that out later, commit to the cool idea now and write what makes you HAPPY!

The worst art is art you don't make.

This blog. I made it in the first place because I always wanted people to be able to come here, pick up an idea or inspiration, and go forth with it. It's why Clanmew's free to use and I made that clear with Trout when we first started. I had always made Better Bones, and the Bonefall Rewrite before it, with the idea in mind that I was a helmsman but I was writing it with the contributions, wishes, and musings of followers in mind. Collaboration at its core.

It wasn't all perfect to begin with. I've changed things-- I started BB!DOTC with Gray Wing surviving, and now he is the first pioneer death. It was a major change and I'm STILL altering old posts, but I promise! It's not that big a deal! You CAN just go back and fix stuff! Don't be so afraid!

YOU are you only person who can make YOUR art. You are the most unique tool in your own arsenal, with your unique tastes, interests, and thoughts. That is what makes every AU unique, given love and time. Trust your intuition, be critical but kind towards your work, and remember that passion is always worth the initial price of fear.

#bone babble #bones gives advice

[billthedrake]

This one I started a few months ago but didn’t get too far yet. It started off as a spinoff of Dads I’d Like to Fuck and took on a life of its own.

THE SPORTS ILLUSTRATED JINX

Doing that cover was how I met my partner, my first one at least.

The Sports Illustrated issue had just dropped. A big cover photo of me, looking serious and posting with my bat, and the words "Miracle Worker" in big letters over my image. I was winding down my rookie season in the majors at the age of 21 and had exceeded high expectations. Life was good.

"Don't pay any attention to that jinx business," a man said as I was out a high-end steakhouse after a game, enjoying a drink in the bar area. "It's all bullshit."

The man was my type to a T. Late 40s, sturdy build, some gray in his medium-length hair, masculine dad-next-door looks. I am often guarded in public, but I gave him a big smile.

"Yeah?" I asked. "I sure hope so."

This man had an easy way about him. Confident, but not overly so. "It's definitely BS," he added. "Look at Trout. Didn't hurt his career one bit." His blue eyes seemed to sparkle as he talked, and I had to wonder if I was reading too much interest in them. Sexual interest. "But you don't need me to tell ya that, man."

I shrugged. "Well given how many people have brought up that fucking jinx," I said, "it's nice to hear a different point of view." I extended my hand. "Luke... nice to meet you." I mean, the guy clearly knew who I was, but I wanted to know who he was.

"Dan Ogle," he said, as he clasped my hand with an equally strong grip. In baseball you judge a man by his handshake. Dan was used to being judged. "It's an honor to meet you."

"You in the business?" I ventured.

"It shows?" he chuckled. "Yeah, I'm a scout. Was with the Orioles organization and now work independent."

"Smart move," I quipped. "The Orioles seem a mess lately."

"Ouch," he laughed harder. "That's tough, man." He gave my shoulder a friendly, gladhanding pat for a second. "Listen... I'm here to meet an agent buddy of mine..."

Something about his eye contact made me wonder if I could make a move. "Let me give you my number, Dan," I said.

The way his eyes lit up said I'd made the right call. Maybe he was just star struck. But I'd work that in my favor if it meant seeing more of that sun-weathered face and those sea-blue eyes. He pulled out his phone, and I told him my number.

****

The first drinks I grabbed with the guy was basically a date. We didn't call it that. But we made the usual small talk. Dan knew a lot more about me than I did about him. So I had him tell me his bio. He'd played in the majors a few years and got into the coaching side in some single-A team. Was frustrated by the lack of opportunities there so went into scouting. Was married once, no kids, divorced at 38.

I talked more about what it was like to be a star. Even if Dan Ogle was never a magazine-cover caliber player, he understood me. The benefits of being idolized and famous, and the drawbacks. I didn't talk about the latter with a lot of guys, but I felt I could with this pro-ball veteran.

Our eye contact got heavier as we talked. Like we knew what we were dancing around without coming out and saying it. Finally, I asked, "So, Dan... you able to be discreet?"

Without missing a beat he nodded. "Oh yeah. Absolutely." Those sea blue eyes staring back at me, with clear expectation.

"It's been a couple of months since I've gotten laid," I said, laying my cards on the table.

He let out a playful whistle. "Way too long, Luke."

"What about you?" I asked, finally nudging his knee under the bar. This was gonna happen, and I knew, and I was throwing hard in anticipation.

"About the same," he smirked.

"We should go fix that," I hissed.

"Now?" It wasn't a question of surprise. More, Dan was trying to read what was on my mind.

"If you're up for it... yeah, now." I knew my voice was getting that horny edge to it.

We settled up our check and I went over to Dan's hotel room. I wondered if we were going to have more conversation, maybe figure out what each other was into sexually. I was strictly top or into getting serviced. I normally got my way, but sometimes older guys think it should be the other way around.

But we didn't talk. Instead we met for a kiss as we rapidly stripped off our clothes. I'd barely unbuttoned my jeans when Dan crouched down in front of me, pawing my crotch and reaching in to pull out my cock.

"Damn, that's a big dick," he gasped. And then revealing he did not find that a problem in the least, the middle-aged ex-jock leaned forward and started sucking me.

"Holy shit!" I laughed. I wasn't 100% surprised Dan Ogle sucked cock. After all, I'd met up with older guys who liked to fool around. But I was surprised he was so into it, so good at it. He sucked me fast and hard, like it was his last cock ever. I didn't think that the almost rough sucking would feel good, but it was incredible. Those long fast mouth strokes and that heavy suction were gonna get me to nut, too soon.

"Ease up, man!" I gasped. "I'm almost cumming."

The veteran ex-jock spit out my prick and sucked in some air, as he swallowed that excess spit. "Yeah?" he teased, now hand stroking my bat. "What would be wrong with that?" The man was horny, and I loved how thrilled he seemed to be about sex. No hang ups whatsoever. That was a first for me, actually.

"Come on, man," I almost complained. "Let me at least feel up your body for a bit, you know... enjoy this some."

That took Ogle by surprise. I think he thought I'd just want to shut my eyes and use his mouth or something. Maybe that's what dudes like me had done before with him. Leaning back, he showed off his bare chest. "Didn't think you'd be into all this, man," he smiled.

"You have no fucking idea," I growled. I could unload my daddy issues on Dan later and tell him how I was wired for men over 40, but for now, I just wanted that physical contact with that more mature muscle. "Let's get on the bed," I urged.

I stripped off the rest of the way and ate up the way Dan's eyes feasted on my nakedness and my erect state. Maybe it was the ego boost he needed to strip down all the way and almost pose for me as he got on the bed. His body wasn't perfect but it was pretty damn nice. Strong muscle, just the right amount of hair, amazing legs. Dan had been a catcher back when he played.

His body felt hot to the touch when we embraced. He was a good kisser and seemed to get into the sensual, slow approach. I matched his speed, even as I was horny as fuck and leaking against his furry belly. We made out and rolled around some, and I ended up on top of him. Heart pounding against his chest and his strong grip feeling up my lat muscle.

When I pulled back from our lip lock the 40-something scout had need in his eye. "You wanna be in me, Luke?" he asked softly.

"Hell yes," I growled.

He smiled. "I got some lube in my bag in the bathroom, if you wanna get it. Rubbers if you want, too."

I hoisted my athletic body out of bed and went to get the stuff, my dick sticking straight out like a divining rod. The stuff was easy to find. Indeed next to the small lube bottle there were two foil packets. I loved that a man like Dan came prepared.

I didn't take a condom, though, and I could read Ogle's silent excitement as he saw me empty handed other than the lube. I flipped the cap and squirted the slickness onto my fingers as I got up on the bed. Any other time, I'd enjoy more foreplay and rim him out some. I loved eating ass, and an ex-catcher daddy would be one hell of a feast. But I needed to fuck.

He hissed at the first finger but the second went in like butter. Dan Ogle wasn't a slut bottom, but this wasn't his first rodeo. As I lined up my cock, I was excited to be topping such a hot guy. It was still sinking in that I was a lucky bastard.

"That's good," Dan said softly as I pushed in. His sea blues were looking up, and he was nodding slightly as I pushed on. I knew why. He was tight as fuck and he knew I wouldn't be able to read if he was good to go. Thankfully, he was.

"You have an amazing ass," I grunted as I bottomed out. He was hot and snug and his insides felt alive around my cock.

Dan was horned up, and his dick twitched on his furry belly. He had some love handles but otherwise was total DILF. "I can't believe you're here fucking me," he almost laughed.

I held my body steady for him, his legs on my shoulders. "You ever fantasize about me?"

"Didn't dream to," he admitted.

"But a player like me, right?" I nudged him mentally. "You always wanted to get nailed by a guy like me." That second part was now statement, not a question.

"Jesus," Dan growled, a deep belly growl. "Fuck yes."

"You got it, man," I said and just started fucking. Not hard, but it was a deep steady fuck and I was hung enough for him to feel it.

He stroked as I railed him then let go when he was getting too close.

"Go ahead," I urged. "I'm pretty close, too."

I watched him stroke and I watched his hand work up his pleasure in tandem with the internal stimulation I was giving him. Then I watched the 40-something ex-catcher spew his pearly white seed all over that gorgeous daddy fur.

"FUCK!" I grunted and felt my own cum rising up, all of a sudden. Two months was a long time between lays. I held his legs tightly and humped his ass with a couple of final fast strokes.

I was flush red and breathing fast as I came down. Dan laughed at me some, and I laughed with him. "I needed that, buddy," I said, giving his meaty chest a playful dual fist bump before I leaned back and slowly pulled out.

I had to watch the slight creampie in his hole before it shut back up. A conquest trophy.

"I could tell," Dan grinned as he lowered his legs and shook out the stiffness. "I don't normally like it missionary, but that was hot as fuck."

I grinned, plopping down on the bed. "It was."

Dan gave me one last look, like he still couldn't believe his luck and still couldn't believe this happened. I got that look a lot, and I always ate it up. "Gonna shower off," he announced.

He was back to normal when he got back. A little quiet, maybe moody. I didn't know his deal, but I wasn't gonna find out. I took a piss and got dressed.

"Take care, man," I said as I got ready to leave. He was on his phone, checking on texts or something.

He looked up. "Yeah. Have a good one."

I got the message. One time thing. OK by me. I was a player, a hunter, always onto the next lay. One time things were my MO.

Only the next morning I awoke to a text. Dan Ogle's text, sent fifteen minutes earlier. "I got an 11AM plane to catch. But maybe I can interest you in a morning BJ before I go?"

I texted him a thumbs up and my hotel and room number.

****

It's not as easy having groupie sex when you're into guys as when you're straight. But it happens for me far more than you'd imagine. I just have to be cautious with my approach, feel a guy out. The thing is, if a guy has a remote bi-curious streak, it's almost a sure thing that a star athlete will be able to exploit it. The star struck thing goes a long fucking way, and guys felt excited to be close to me. Even if only for an hour or a night, they were getting one-on-one Luke Fulton time.

My first groupie was when I was still in the minors. But I was clearly a top prospect in the farm system and come Spring Training I had a chance to practice and play with the big league guys.

I was gathering up my stuff after an afternoon game versus the Tigers when I saw him. A few of the guys would meet with fans after, but this man seemed to be waiting for me. He was very much a typical corporate looking dude. Medium height, golf shirt, golf tan, khaki shorts, ball cap, expensive watch, dad sneakers. Meaty dadbod build filling it all out and looking pretty good for a man in his 50s.

"Hi Luke," he said, polite but also forward. "Can I get your autograph?"

That was my first request for one, actually. I smiled. "Yeah?" I said, registering my surprise. "Um, sure."

I walked up and set down my bag. He handed me a pad and a pen. "You're gonna be the biggest star," he said, referencing the pro team name whose roster I was vying for. His gaze was on me, like he was trying to memorize the whole encounter for later. That was my first taste of groupies, the way they might not even be showing sexual interest but they clearly are into me and being around me.

"I'm not 21 yet," I reminded him.

"Well, I've been watching your progress. Ever since the draft." OK, Corporate Dude was one of THOSE fans.

"Who should I make this out to?" I asked, maintaining equally heavy eye contact. Corporate Daddy was good looking in a normal way, and that turned me on, too. He reminded me of the men in my hometown. I even flashed a wink, nothing too over the top, but doing as much flirting as I dared.

"Jim," he said. "God..." he continued as he watched me write my dedication and sign my name. "This is really cool."

I looked up and flashed my grin. "Isn't this what you come to Spring Training for?" I asked. "To meet the players?" Maybe I was starting to lay it on thick.

Jim was gung ho, though. "It's my second year here, but yeah... the chance to talk to you guys is incredible."

His eye contact was heavy and his wedding band made me think he wasn't the blabbing type. I still consider a band the best insurance when hitting on a guy. I took another paper out of that pad and wrote my number on it.

The man seemed embarrassed. "What's that for?" He asked.

Goddamnit. I guess I misjudged. "Never mind," I said, maybe a little curtly. After all, it wasn't any guy I gave my number. I started to grab the paper back.

He blushed, getting it, really getting. "Oh. That's cool, that's man. I'll keep it. If that's OK."

I nodded. "Just keep it private, OK?" I meant my number but also the fact that I'd given it to him.

"Oh yeah," he said.

I gave him one more wink and picked up my bag to walk back to the locker room.

It was an hour later when I got a text. "Hey. It's Jim. Thanks for giving me your number."

"Thanks for using it," I typed back. I was hanging out with some of the guys from the team, about to get some dinner.

I didn't hear back for a few minutes, then I got another text. "I don't normally do this kind of thing."

"It's cool man. I don't bite. No strings no expectations." I didn't have my mojo down, but I knew with a guy like this corporate dad you had to reassure him.

"What are you looking for?" I could almost sense his nervousness on his end.

"That's something better talked about in person," I wrote.

"Yeah," he acknowledged. Then "I'm around all week."

"Tonight?" I wrote. "9?"

"Yes."

He gave me his hotel info, which worked better. I was in a good mood when I showed up and gave a soft knock.

Jim had a nervous, naughty look as he ushered me in. "Hey..." he said as he shut the door behind me. "I shouldn't be doing this."

I got it. I'd met married men with misgivings before, but none as strong as this man's.

I paused and looked at him, giving him my best friendly expression. Giving him an out. "It's up to you, man. I'm not gonna pressure you."

He thought for a second. It was like I knew what he was thinking. Wondering if he'd ever get another chance at this. "I wanna," he replied.

"Cool," I said and stepped up to him. I'm used to seeing athletes and coaches all day, so sometimes a normal build like Jim's pales in comparison. But now that I was there, up close, he looked pretty damn fine. My hand touched his chest through his golf shirt and moved down to feel up his sides. I drew him closer to me, being forward now to claim a kiss off him.

He grunted as our lips met. I slipped my tongue forward and felt his excitement grow as his lips part and accepted it. We made out for a minute, which is the surest way to get my motor running. I was rock hard now, for sure.

I pulled back and examined his handsome face. "I guess I should have asked if you kissed," I said.

He exhaled a breath he'd been holding. "Yeah... that was my first kiss with a man, actually."

I cocked a grin. "Whaddya think?"

"'s pretty wild," he answered honestly. "But good."

My fingers now caressed his side, and I could sense he was getting majorly hard, too. "You done anything with a guy?" I needed to know where I stood.

He shook his head. "Back in college. You know some fooling around with fraternity brothers. A couple of blow jobs, that kind of thing."

I cocked my eyebrow. "You ever give one?"

Jim blushed some, making his reddish tan redder. "Yeah... it was years ago."

I pulled him closer to me, so he could feel my hardon against his own. "I'd very much enjoy getting one, man... if you're up for it." He was warming up to the idea, I could tell, but I wanted to head off any hesitation. "It's just us here. No one's gonna know."

"I don't know if I'm any good," he objected.

I moved my hand up and patted his shoulder. "Trust me, I'll love it." I didn't throw in a "pretty, please," but I was being as gradual and coaxing as I knew how to be. "Come on, why don't you sit on the bed?"

He nodded and stepped back from me. He was rock hard in his khaki shorts, which was a good sign. And as he settled on his hotel bed, his look was one of excitement more than nervousness.

I didn't want to spook him, but I was getting crazy horny. Jim was pushing my buttons big time. I stepped up till I stood about a foot in front of him. Then slowly, I undid my shorts and pulled out my boner.

Some guys comment on my size when they first see my endowment, but Jim just silently watched, eyes going wide.

"It's OK, bud," I assured him. "Just take what you feel comfortable with." I scooted closer so my hardon was an inch or so away from him. His licks were tentative, then less so. I could sense the novelty for him, and the thrill that came with that. I knew this was the last thing he expected to be doing on this trip.

"You've done this before, man," I urged. "You got this."

He nodded and then opened his lips to take me in. He bobbed up and down on a few inches. Jim wasn't lying. He wasn't any good at this. But I loved the feeling of his warm mouth and the wet tongue against my steel-hard dick. And I loved the rush of seeing this regular married daddy servicing me. I let him do his thing for a minute then spoke again.

"Feels nice," I encouraged him. Then, "Just suck me like you enjoy being sucked, man."

That seemed to make something click for him, and he adjusted his blowjob. Jim wasn't gonna be a pro cocksucker any time soon, but THIS was a lot better. He flenched when my hand touched his hair, but when he realized I was just gonna stroke his head in encouragement he relaxed back into it.

"Take your time, bud," I hissed, spreading my stance a little. "Takes me a good couple of minutes to work up a head of steam. But this feels awesome."

It did, and the physical sensations were starting to build up. But I also imagined this guy sucking dudes back home, showing off what he'd learned on me. That was the trigger that got me off.

"You better swallow, man," I growled. Mr. Easygoing was gone. I didn't want him pulling off. Maybe my fingers curled around the back of his head to keep him from retreating.

He grunted. Agreement, I guess. But he kept sucking as I spurted into his craw. I heard a choked sound, but it wasn't an actual choking. Mostly a grunt of excitement as he tasted, then swallowed, as fast I was pumping more sperm into his mouth and throat.

"Damn, that was nice," I hissed as I let go of his head and finally stepped back out of his sucking mouth.

"Did I do OK?" he asked, voice thick with my cum still. Something about that question was adorable and exciting both.

I smiled. "Fuck yea you did." I nodded down to his hard crotch. "You need to get off?"

He unzipped. Clearly, sucking me had worked him up. He spit into his palm and I watched him start pulling his pud. It wasn't gonna take him long, not from the excited look in his eyes and the fast fist motion. I stepped closer and let my dong sway in front of his face.

That got him going. "You got a great cock," he admitted.

"And you sucked it," I reminded him.

"Yes," he grunted, and like that he was cumming.

"That's it, man," I urged.

Our release complete, I stepped back and tucked back in as he wiped himself with a Kleenex. His mood shifted some.

"We good man?" I asked. He could have all the guilt pangs he wanted, but I didn't want a full-on freak out.

"Yeah," he said quietly. "Thanks for that.... I'm gonna remember that for a long while."

"If you wanna make some more memories this week, you know where to reach me."

#drakestories