#anyway...all that to say.....AGAIN ?????? Cause YEAH that already happened a few months ago. not even 6 months ago ??? and lasted until lik

[kurp-stuff]

.

#i think something collapsed on the electric lines in my street. i heard a weird smthg falling then snake like electric noise at idk 1 or 2am #i checked my appartement and there was nothing wrong. electricity was working and all #and now (4 am) it isnt anymore. and i heard some guys with a vehicule discuss and do stuff in the street #anyway...all that to say.....AGAIN ?????? Cause YEAH that already happened a few months ago. not even 6 months ago ??? and lasted until lik #1pm #i checked it was in mid november #anyway the guys moved their truck. their not in front of my place anymore but the electricity isnt back. tho i think i can hear them farthe #in the street. I hope it just doesnt last until the afternoon this time #i think the weirdest part is that i specifically remember getting salmon out of the freezer that day in november to eat at noon #which is not something i do that often cause eating fresh fish i freezed is something i try to scatter in time so that it would be #occasional treats (also i am poor). BUT GUESS WHAT I JUST DID YESTERDAY BEFORE GOING TO BED. i took out trout out of the freezer for noon 😭 #like it's almost the same fucking fish fr #i hope i dont have to wait after 12pm to cook it like last time 🤡 #(actually if i remember last time i even had to go buy a sandwich at the nearest convenience store and the electricity only came back at 3p #and not 1 like a previously said) #anyways gonna try to preserve some phone battery and sleep 🥴) #good night tristate area #personal

[cranberryjuice-posts]

I would like to request a oneshot of clarisse x fem reader where they are rivals, but during one of Dionísio's children's parties, a small "slip" occurs (kissing and making out sessions fr) and reader ends up waking up in the morning in clarisse's bed and reader doesn't remember anything.

If you don't want to do this that's fine!

- mistakes were made -

Pairings - Clarisse La Rue x Fem! Reader

An - i do Write every request fun-fact except for a select few but yeah it’s normally in order unless I get Like such a good one I have to write it right then and there BUT! It’s almost always in order of request 😻😻‼️ anyways request more I’m loving them all

An Pt 2 - im having writers block ☹️

Did you think you were going to be here.. no. But we’re you complaining. Also no..

You were sitting off the edge of a cliff with clarisse while capture the flag happened behind you. Her hands on your hip while yours were pinned by her waist helping you both lean on one another.

Just exchanging soft slow kisses neither saying a word. You pulled away only slightly hiding your face in her neck embarrassed. Since you first arrived at camp you both had this un-natural rivalry, from athletics to academics and beyond.

However after a month ago you both haven’t been able to keep your hands off one another. Finding every excuse or situation to be alone, though nobody knew about your secret makeouts, and no one would.

Some ares kids in the distant started shouting for clarisse bringing you both back to earth. With a heavy sigh she pulled away from you. Standing up she started to grab her spear and helmet.

Following her lead and grabbing your weapons you had started to zone out once again thinking about what you were doing. Jumping some clarisses arms snakes around your waist. “Your gonna be at the party tonight right?” She asked kissing your cheek softly.

“Yeah, im showing up with silena” you closed your eyes and leaned back slightly into her. Clarisse Just hummed in Response. “Great… I’ll see you then” she let you go but not without slapping your ass one good time. Before you could yell at her she was already running off to catch up with her siblings.

••

Standing around near a tree the party quickly got more and more chaotic. Chiron was long gone not really caring as to how or why he left, Mr. D the man who the party was for also had left most likely due to not liking being around all the campers.

With the littles away and in bed the Hermes cabin quickly broke into the dispensary and spiked the punch. One thing you knew was demigods and alcohol don’t mix well.

Your friends all gone and left with some guy or girl into the woods to do what only the gods could judge them for. Finally having enough of being alone you walked past the bonfire, grazing against clarisses shoulder as you did before heading towards the table.

Taking a seat towards the end of the table you swung your legs back and forth just trying to find something to enjoy.

“It’s improper to sit on a table” clarisse spoke making you jump as you hadn’t seen her follow you. Sarcastically sighing you pushed her back by hitting her arm.

“Shut up I’m resting my legs” you chuckled, the effects of the alcohol causing you to be more favorable towards her. After a moment you brought your head up watching as clarisse just leaned on the table beside you watching the kids around. “What are You doing?”

“People watching” she nonchalantly shrugged. “Him, Chris how much you want to bet he has a crush on the new Athena kid” clarisse moved closer to you trying hard to be sly though you saw right through her act, but you played along and leaned into her as well.

“Maybe” You Hummed. “What about Luke who do you think he likes” looking up you admired her gentle eyes, even if clarisse wanted to deny it when her face was calm she looked ethereally beautiful.

“Nobody im telling you that man would rather die than let anyone hit” she rolled her eyes with a smile, turning her head to look down at you she didn’t bother hiding her sarcastic grin.

“Well I guess I’m glad your not like him” everything in the background went semi silent as the small gap between you both closed.

Your lips softly touched one another’s. The first kiss was slow and gentle, your lips barley grazing over one another. Though it only lasted a moment before clarisse placed her hand on the side of your face deepening the kiss. The faint taste of alcohol on her lips, contrasting her subtle cologne. Pulling apart from her you quickly noticed campers looking over whispering and running off most likely to tell their friends, clarisse noticed aswell.

“Fuck.. let’s just get out of here” she muttered helping you off the table and walking towards the cabin. Your hands laced together as she dragged you through the woods, the occasional her yelling at one of her siblings that seemed to be going in the same direction.

Once in the cabin everything happened in small blurs that you could only semi remember. You sitting onto Clarisses bed, her Kissing you, You on her lap, your shirt on the ground and lastly where you currently were heavily making out with the daughter of ares while she grabbed at every inch of skin that she could.

Tangling your fingers into her curls you tilted your head, pressing your body closer if you could. Her tongue finding its self into your mouth while she helped shift you on her lap by your thighs.

Breaking away for a breath of air you kept your face close to hers. “Wanna like, hangout or something” she breathlessly panted.

“Sure” You mumbled quickly kissing her again.

••

Sitting up you rubbed your forehead, the after affects from the alcohol last night hitting you like a hurricane. Running a hand through your hair it took only a moment for you to realize that you in-fact were not in your bed.

Actually you weren’t even in your cabin. Looking around frantically you soon realized you were in the ares cabin, bringing your eyes down you saw clarisse peacefully sleeping with an arm on your waist.

With a slight frown you laid back letting out a deep sigh. Turning your head to the side you just watched as the normally angry girl was calm for once.

Not remembering exactly what happened last night bothered you some. But cuddling with clarisse was a worth it bargain.

#lesbian #wlw #clarisse la rue #clarisse pjo #clarisse x reader #percy jackson fanfiction #clarisse larue #clarisse my beloved #percy jackson show #pjo fandom #clarisse x female reader #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse x you

[sourbinnie]

title -> cenere pair -> ex!wonwoo x gn!reader plot -> the ashes that he once believed would be an eternal flame, are still there as he tries to remember a time where it didn't hurt to look at you. genre -> angst + no happy ending warnings -> reader is kinda bad in this one + drinking + cheating words -> 1665 lowercase intended

puoi cancellare il mio nome

farmi sparire nel fumo

come un pugnale nel cuore

come se fossi nessuno

cenere / lazza

it almost felt like a dagger to the heart the way you were smiling right now as if nothing ever happened between us. seeing you dance in the dark with another guy, moving your hips to the beat, swaying from side to side and losing yourself in the moment. you didn't even notice me standing there. why would you notice me anyways? you didn't pay attention to me in our whole relationship, why would you care right now? it's almost as if i've been a shadow on your life, placing the darkness in your light.

i had no idea what i was doing at this point, how could someone so cruel bring so much out of me? i was delusional, convinced that the good old days would come back. i had you for a moment and you disappeared in the wind like a candle being slowly turned off with a breeze. maybe it was for the best that i lost you, you didn't care about me, you never did. your eyes always told the truth as i tried to read your mind but it was no use. seeing you again was a daydream and a nightmare, for once you were always beautiful, stunning actually. you've never lacked the looks and the brightest of smiles. then the fear approached, the one where i had to see you again and remember every night where i got my heart broken in a different way. i don't want to specify since i don't think it's worth the time of anyone and all my friends already know.

"yeah i don't know what they're doing here either." a voice startled me but at least it pulled me out of my thoughts. it was none other than seungcheol, my good friend, known him since i was 5. "i thought i told mingyu the situation clearly but it looks like he forgot and invited them anyways," he continued and i just nodded but still didn't look away from the pair of arms holding them. it was such a bittersweet feeling seeing your old lover who left you to pick up the pieces in such a romantic way with someone, it almost made me nauseous if i wasn't so proud.

"it's okay, they're allowed to invite whoever they want to at the end of the day." i said and fake smiled, but i knew that it didn't come through and i did not care enough either. "i'm in a debate of whether to go home or get drunk as fuck so i can forget everything & anything right now," i said as pure and honest as i could be.

and that's when it started, the shots, the mixed up drinks, the unknown flavors coming my way. so stupid that i didn't just go home, now i was unstoppable ranting about them. "yeah they left me" "i clearly moved on" "why am i talking about them? well i saw them and thought about this so yeah" "oh shit is that their new man? he's ugly as fuck". i would never say this shit out loud if it wasn't for the liquid courage running through me and the nerve that stroke in me just seeing them wrapped up like they belonged together, like a few months ago we weren't meant for each other.

"okay let's stop with the drinking for a moment 'cause you're going insane right now," jihoon said as he took the bottle from me and i just sighed. yeah he was 100% right and i couldn't deny it to him. he was probably the most rational friend i had between all of these fucking dumbasses but i still felt the crave to do something about these awful feelings invading me.

"i'm gonna talk to them." i said and i swear i felt everyone looking at me, maybe i did really go insane after all. 

"why? it's been months and they've moved on." jeonghan tried to reason with me and as much as i knew he was in the right, every impulse in my body was telling me to get up and go. do a scene in the middle of the party maybe? to shame them? to put them on blast? okay maybe not so much. but i was still gonna talk to them, some way and somehow.

"i just wanna see how they're doing." i said and it wasn't a lie but it wasn't the truth either. "listen i know it's fucking stupid but why would they come to my best friend's party expecting not to see me hm?" i asked and raised an eyebrow waiting for an answer while i was met with pure silence. "also i am done with everyone trying to look out for me, i am okay i think? or i'm trying to be".

i said those words and left to catch my breath outside. the cold air hitting me immediately but i still felt better than being trapped right there with everyone judging me for every decision i make like it was my fault that i ended up in the place that i was. 

"wonwoo?" their voice was so sweet and i knew the concern was purely fake but oh god did i miss everything. i was waiting for another stab in the heart, wasn't i? for them to erase me like i was nothing again.

"(y/n) hi." i responded and my fake smile met their real smile. "long time no see huh?" i said like i haven't been counting the months, the days, the hours like a lunatic. 

"yeah it's been a couple of months right? i still have to send your stuff i'm sorry." they apologized but i didn't even remember they were holding onto some of my stuff in their apartment. i was weak to the knees for them and i was really hoping that we wouldn't talk about the break up but what else was i looking for then if not an answer? what did i want from them? closure? hell no. 

"i don't really care, you can keep it." i mumbled as i tried to compose myself from all the sudden thoughts i was having about us or what used to be us or what i would've wanted to be us. "how you been?" i asked genuinely and looked them in the eyes for the first time since i got out.

"could've been better but overall trying to hold on you know?" they said, smiling politely, i just nodded as i whispered "same" and saw how they got closer to me. their eyes never leaving me, it almost felt like i had something on my face the way they were staring. "i hope things get better for you, not gonna lie to you though it's been going down since we broke up..."

i did not expect that in any way, shape or form. i just looked confused, perplexed, waiting for an answer but i knew i had to ask first before i got that.

"how so? you left remember?" maybe not that kind of question, as harsh as i sounded i knew i had to get to the point before i lost my mind. 

"i did but that doesn't mean i wanted to." they responded and that only made me even more confused than i was. trying to sober up for the talk we were having. "so many things happened and i know i fucked up quite a lot, distancing myself, being petty, saying things i didn't mean to but overrall just thinking it was okay to cross the line with you," that's when all the memories came floating back like they were in the air, like polaroids drifting through me. 

"it's way more than that (y/n), you played with me, my feelings and my state of mind," i said honestly, a bit too brutal for but at least it was me expressing how i felt. "i just wanted you and you wanted everyone else, i cannot explain how you made me feel because i don't want to go through that again, god i still fucking want you and i fucking hate myself for it." i said, shocking myself and biting my lip to not let any more stupid words out.

"i know, i know you deserve better, that's why this is not a speech for you to take me back but one for you to let go." they said and i looked at them again, expecting for this to be a prank but they could never lie to me, they're terrible at lying. "mingyu invited me and said i should talk to you, i should've approached you earlier but my boyfriend insisted that i should wait and-".

"boyfriend?" i asked.

"yeah he's the one i was with, jaehyun is his name." they muttered almost as if they were feeling guilty for telling me that they were dating someone while i just admitted how i felt. "wonwoo... i'm sorry, i fucked up and i really wanted to stay friends with you but everything passed by so fast, you blocked me, you gave me my things, i tried explaining a million times but you just wouldn't listen to me, to how i felt":

"why should i have? huh?" i asked and laughed bitterly, it's almost as if they couldn't understand the hurt that they've done in the process. "you care so much about yourself it's unbelievable, you understand that what you did was crossing the line yet you expect me to understand how you felt when you left me hanging for so long? when you decided to play with my feelings? when you are now with the guy who you kissed that night while we were still together?" i couldn't stop shaking my head, it was a habit at this point. the weight on my heart felt like it was crumbling as i looked at them one last time.

"have a good life (y/n), don't come looking for me ever again".

#seventeen imagines #svt imagines #svt short imagines #svt scenarios #seventeen scenarios #seventeen wonwoo #wonwoo imagines #wonwoo scenarios #seventeen angst #svt angst #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo #svt wonwoo #seventeen #svt

[nothere2010-blog]

vacation belly by Natatat fantasyfeeder

Tony had been on "vacation" for about three months. Within that time judging from Instagram he did the same things he did here. Under the pretense of being on "vacation" he did them in even greater excess. Phrases like "go big or go home" and "why not" and "I'm on vacation I'm supposed to relax" became his everyday refrains.

I was jet lagged and starving when I finally saw my friend Lucy waiting for me in the airport to pick me up. We grabbed my stuff and headed to her car. She shoved my stuff in the back.

"So how was your trip?" She asked looking over at me and smiling as I struggled with my seat belt.

"It was awesome! I'm just starving and tired. Can we please go get food?" I finally got the seatbelt on and relaxed.

"Sure. Let's get some food in that belly." She laughed after lightly patting my belly.

She drove to the nearest place which just happened to be Denny's. Good thing too because it was now 11am and I still hadn't had breakfast yet well aside from the three meals I had on the plan because the stewardess gave me three when I told her how hungry I was. Plus a few extra desserts. But that was still like three hours ago.

"Oh my god this all looks amazing!" I was practically drooling.

"Well do you need a minute to choose?" The waitress laughed.

"Honestly I'm so hungry, I want everything on the menu." I could hear my stomach growling.

"I like a guy with a healthy appetite," she laughed. "Let me know what you decide on." With that she sashayed away. She was one hot waitress.

"So did you order?" Lucy came back just in time to catch me watching the sexy waitress walk away.

"What?no I can't decide. I just want to eat. And I want all the food."

"Why don't you just keep eating till you are full. Doesn't your brother typically pay for your stuff anyway?" Lucy said glancing at the menu.

"Yeah but I don't know what to start with." My brain was cloudy due to my stomach and slight erection from that waitress.

"Fine I will order for you." Lucy picked up the menu and called over the waitress.

"Did you two decide yet?" She asked.

"Yeah he will have the grand slam and a large chocolate shake. Can you handle that? That way you get to basically eat all the breakfast menu." Lucy smiles wickedly at me.

"I'm sure he can handle it." The waitress smiled as she headed back to the kitchen.

"I think she likes you." Lucy giggled. "I think she likes your pudge." She poked my belly.

"What pudge?" I was annoyed that she had interrupted my day dream about eating off that waitresses ass and tits.

"Aww that's so cute, you are in denial, haha." She poked me again and pinched me. "This pudge."

"It's not pudge, it's average." I said and crossed my arms over my middle and sucked in.

"Whatever you say, here she is with the food." Lucy smiled.

"Here you go sweetie, enjoy."

"Thank you." I gave her my best "Sexy pickup face" and she blushed.

"No problem." She really was smoking.

"If you are going to stare at least be subtle. Also I think your pants are getting a little tight there. You might want to cut back after this." Lucy poked me in the side and laughed.

"They are only tight cause I'm hard and cause I bought the wrong size." I said through a mouthful of pancakes. "Besides why do you care?"

"Oh my god seriously, you are so easy to turn on. That's really entertaining." She grinned at me. I tried to ignore her and focus on my daydream. I imaged eating all of this off that waitress's naked body, licking the syrup off her perfect tits while she fed me and stroked my cock and rubbed my belly telling me how much she likes a man with a healthy appetite.

"Wow finished already! You really are greedy aren't you?" Lucy laughed.

"Urrp, urrrrrrrpppppp, urrrpppp. I guess." I felt kinda drunk with food but still kinda hungry. My pants were digging in now. "Urrrrrrrrpppppppp, urrrrrrrrrrrrrp, ugh, urrrrrp. There now I have a little more room." I pushed my fist into my belly to release some more gas to make some more room. "Urrrrrp,urrrrp, urrrrrp."

"Did you guys want anything else?" The waitress was eyeing my food baby beginning to peak out over my jeans.

"Yeah can I get three orders of pancakes: one with Nutella, another with banana and chocolate chip, another with uh i don't you choose. And then an omelet with everything in it. And then a coke and a cookies and cream shake and some fries actually make it two orders of fries." I said not even believing my own ears.

"Sure I'll get right on it." The waitress looked as if she was going to lose it.

"Wow, um how are you going to eat that?" Lucy looked at me in utter disbelief.

" one urrrrrp, bite urrrrrrrp urrrrrrp, at a time urrrrrrrrrrp," I grinned impishly and rubbed my food baby. "Besides I'm going into hibernation mode when I get home."

"Hahahaaahhhh! Oh my god you are ridiculous!" Lucy had the cutest laugh.

"Okay here you go,don't go making yourself sick." The waitress looked flushed and nervous.

"Mmmmm thank you. I need to start hibernating when I get home so this is absolutely necessary." I said while stuffing the Nutella pancakes down.

"I'm sure it is." She smiled and giggled. "I'll bring out the rest in a bit, your appetite is hard to keep up with."

"Thank you, I really like eating."

"I can tell" she laughed. "Enjoy your food" she gave my belly a light pat causing me to burp." This elicited another giggle from her as she made her way back to the kitchen.

I don't know how I was still eating and I don't know why Lucy was watching me so intently. Anytime I slowed down she would tease me about my eyes being bigger than my stomach. And then I would shovel more food down.

"My my someone enjoyed their meal," The waitress had returned with our bill. She kept here eyes on my exposed belly now stuffed beyond belief. I occasionally let out a few hiccups and burps followed by some groans and moans. "You okay?" She asked sweetly.

"Yeah I think I just overdid it a bit. Urrrrp, it just tasted so good I couldn't stop. Urrrrrrrrp urrrrrrp, ohhh it is so stuffed and hard. Urrrrp I can't undo my jeans or belt. Urrrrp urrrrrp urrrrrrp hic, hic, urrrrrp. Ahhhgggg, I really overdid. I should probably stop doing this." I rubbed my belly desperate for relief. I was out of breath just sitting there. There was still half of my coke left and then another huge milkshake.

"I think it's good that you enjoy your food. Did you want me to take away the dishes?"

"Yeah" she started gathering up the mess and as she grabbed the unfinished milkshake and coke I stopped her. "No leave those I want them still."

"Okay I'll just grab the rest."

"Wow you are so fat." Lucy said as she watched me struggle to finish the coke and milkshake. "Look at all this" She smacked my belly.

"Ughh owww, don't do that." I almost choked on the shake I was chugging.

"Why cause you aren't done eating?" She laugh and shook my bloated and stuffed belly. "Tony you are getting kinda fat" she laughed.

"I'm not urrrrrrrp fat, I'm just urrrrrrrp hic bloated and have a food baby." I had finally finished all the food. And was struggling to unbutton my pants. I gave up covered in sweat and out of breath.

"Okay whatever you say." Lucy laughed at me giving my belly a smack.

"Here you go." The waitress placed the bill on the table and I automatically just gave her my credit card. " I'll be right back."

"You are so greedy and shameless." Lucy giggles.

"What? She is hot." I was hard and wanted to jack off but I was so stuffed and tired. My jeans were cutting me in half. I don't think I could get them off on my own.

"Here's your card back have a wonderful day. Oh and come by anytime." She smiled at me handing me a large doggy bag and slipping a card into my hand. "You gotta get nice and stuffed if you are going to last through winter." She giggled as she gave his stuffed belly a pat. His belly jiggled a bit still and her hand sunk in a bit. She turned red I guess she wasn't expecting it to still be squishy.

#fantasy feeder #weight gain story #teasing #belly play #fat belly #male wg

[incarnateirony]

So now that things are settled, let's talk a bit about magical theory. I do know I have a few readers that have been messaging me about this to learn their own parts.

For those that are more nervous about direct messaging, I'll give the same advice I gave the last person: depending on your nature, either the Kybalion or Campbell's Hero With 1000 Faces is the place to start, or Jung if you're super science brained, but few are, not many people want to jump into the psychodrama. Kybalion will give you the shape in prose and Campbell in familiar media narratives that he later will explain in alchemy in the back half of the book.

Now, as for what the structure of my last few months looked like, it was pretty simple really. Even if it looked like lunacy at the surface, and in a way it is, but it's a form of controlled lunacy that is its own art and even science, even when y'all were like U OK BRO? and I was basically like NOT REALLY, WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES BUT I AM WORKING IT OUT, because yeah, you start splitting your brain and digging in others, and this post sorta breaks down the volume and mass I was operating at, how and why.

Part 1: The plagiarized ideas enshrined in my stalker's home, hard drive, galleries and everywhere else were easy enough to conceptually graft a sigil to. I won't display it, For Reasons, but this is where the crosshatching comes in.

Part 2: The sigil was designed to attach to the concept of "Tartarus". This has many uses, from mythological, cosmological, referential (2013 interview about the space between dreams, per hermes), and of course overlapping the release of Persona 3 Reload, its use of Jung, et all.

Part 3: Conceptually graft the parts, clear and face the parts again if as myself again, collect the material. This sounds straight forward, but with Tartarus attached, I started using the focus of players. Infinite restarts, infinite Moments, infinite tiny timeline turns, saved files, fractals and variants, infinite voices.

Part 4: I've worked on collective unconscious focus for a while, as well as the climb of the mind, if you will. I've posted many, many trees and charts about this, whether about TV shows or otherwise. Yall operate in Malkuth. I generally look for access from Da'at. Going higher causes major meltdown and Da'at itself is already overwhelming. Like driving into the fuckin akrida hole. Like I saw every possible me and chose to be myself when I got shot, and now I know how to walk in that door and see that a lot. There's a lot of me. I yell in the clowncell and people answer on twitter, so I started attaching my messages itself to Tartarus and other familiar topics that were easy to browse.

Part 5: Let these cycle. People say the joke, the joke spreads, people repeat the joke, the joke becomes an evocation. The brainrot spreads. Artists, musicians, programmers all onboard the brainrot. Tartarus is now in funny squid game, and Fortnite, and wherever else, and so on. the Tartarus Dev likes talking to himself as three people to be productive now, and after his swinging honkai star rail train you'll never guess what he made, guys.

Part 6: Just move this shit around. Tell Multiple Jokes. Bind your narratives together into a new weave. The masses do the spellcasting for you on a titanic scale through unconscious inner focuses you're using towards an end objective.

Part 7: The processing; once assigned, beaten to shit, and being actively harvested while entangled and under a few hundred million eyes from a certain Big Game stunt pulled (since I glossed over that step here, but the universe is perceiving itself big time in a circle here)... like. It's already Jung grafted from Persona anyway and has been unnder work as that to reduce the shadows, but the astrological alignments of this were the end of an 11 year solar cycle where, ironically, similar events happened because, again, this same abuser attacked me about 11 years ago, and wow, it's a motherfucking circle I have grokked beyond grokking they can ever fucking understand.

Part 8: Use of the alignments and the annual Thelemic readings, including riding the main lodge's use of the processing readings. Special focus on days like the eclipse. I won't break it down at length, but the eclipse axis fused to last year's planetary parade stretched over all of this with mercury en retro is quite literally where my own bootstrap comes from, I had to figure that shit out myself while stumbling through my own messages. One of those, I Have Always Fucking Been Here moments. In the basement. Like carpet. Surrounded by mountain dew in conceptual tartarus. Absolutely losing my goddamn mind on an abusive ex until I fractal myself through the eclipse's infinite shadow moons to the moons to the moons to the moons, and three people named a bird Luna, so anyway.

Part 9: Try to walk away. Mostly did but some idiot gave me some stupid useless papers so I had to go do a thing and they complained I was talking about it still, IDK.

Part 10: Try to walk away from what I have newly perceived, beause it is done, and what's done is done, and what has happened is what is happening, and so it will be.

There's side steps to what I used for this. Throughout the entire thing, music was critical. Whether that be my abuser accidentally giving me various heartsongs to different parts of their psyche multiple times, or on a larger scale. There's an old experiment called BIG NOISE with E.G.G. readers. The EGGs still exist and are reported on by the GCP and princeton, but big noise was about everyone putting off a sound to cause an effect. Okay, take that with, say, the idea of Tartarus. And a million live players blasting battle themes. Using the sound track to listen in on who else is listening, attacking what corner of conceptual psyche or navigating which path, and using that to backbrain on them, hence some people reporting passing out, losing time, being haunted by the song, or having weird dreams about the suicide prevention villain of tartarus afterward.

You'll notice I had multiple copies of the same song, usually remixes. This was to open up enough dissonance that my own messaging could remix into backbrains while traveling and trying not to lose full will or identity while riding the edge of the veil. The Bass House Remix of life will change has different merits than the Eurobeat. Eurobeat was momentum. Bass House was the glitchtrap ridden claude manifesting chain, and so on. And all of this, of course, starting with their favorite Foolish Glamrock.

I can't even begin to explain the level of fuckery involved with the music if you guys can't grok the quantum/time/etc elements here, and I'm not gonna get into that, but for example, that song didn't exist until it did 3 months prior, just like the Bass House Remix didn't exist until it did, one year prior, and so on. The TTripleTrismegistus remixes were always there. Baby baby bluray.

Kinda like the world remembering old dog statues that have weird energy and staring red eyes, idk. Oh, and that Roadmap DLC music expansion coming out when it did was a beautiful godsend of flexibility, allowing me to expand the pillars and trees I was coming from in mass form, a bit much to explain in an overview post (Mementos and Tartarus are the same, flipped, like sephiroth and qlipoth, some of which the areas bear names for; also why Rebirth as a concept is grafted in multiple ways, and Sephiroth is an easy attachment, especially with the long mentioned Zenthus parallelism and my ability to use that for Apep and others)

There were other crosshatched in ideas. While riding the planned persona backbone, the release of 5 X helped both reinforce the shadow loop, added in new integrations like the Janus persona, and fused well with using tweets from "X" in its own beautiful little fibonacci its own. Spiraling out, one could say, from X marks the spot where we fell apart, and nothing good starts in a getaway car my dears. That was Him trying. And they didn't listen.

The Superbowl period crosshatching in Tartarus as a mass viewed concept is around when I did in fact almost come unglued for a bit. I was already raising past what I considered normal capacity and then I stuck a cosmic perceptive subwoofer under it to the tune of a few hundred million perceiving the moment, and that's all you need for one bridge. Like the commentators said, the dream starts after halftime. In that 2013 cited space between dreams. Who was it that said that again?

Anyhoo. That's what I've been doing. Blasting my soul out over millions of televisions and phones for months off of mutual hyperfixations to spread a message and achieve a goal, however random and arbitrary the moves may have seemed at the time.

You wish another magician had this much fucking swag in his fucking clown shoes.

No seriously, to the kids crawling gnostic twitter mentions to people I'm probably never gonna talk to again looking for some way to Get At Me. Which is it that has you acting this fucking retarded and addicted more? The denial that someone got you guzzling my dick in a cult against BOTH of our mutual consents, the fact that someone you hatelove so much achieved this level of attainment, or the fact that you're realizing you cost your friend everything they wanted? Or is it like a shake and bake of the above?

No seriously someone mimicked my work because they pine after it and want it in their life, it is truly that simple. Them getting all confused on gods and religion and shit is their own fuckin problem. It is literally What They Wanted. They just thought That was Hermes, for example, or Leviathan, or whichever god flavor of the day was lifted from my 20+ years of works, writing, journaling, game design and whatever else with a new nametag slapped on it as a perceived fix. Like no, that's Aaron, and that's Zenthus. Why yes deep deep down that is Hermes and Apep or whatever language you want to put it in, but the point is That Specific One is me, not him, that is my individual identity, the persona this incarnation is approaching life with. It was inspired my my ambitions, my dreams, my losses, my roads I did and did not take, a life I personally walked and lived on the road, and more. It's not a hard concept to wrap your mind around.

Except it is, because woopsiedoodle that powerful mage hermes is just like. Some guy yall betrayed, that's in the brotherhood and among the dissonance and both is and isn't him, but when I'm sitting here physically in this chair, that is absolutely me, Aaron Eema, cussing your delusional asses out, Always Has Been, even when my brain turns into fucking jello in the collective unconscious and I sound like a fucking madhat.

His name was Aaron Eema. He was one of hundreds of on paper children of the last big wig Hermes incarnation, and had a lot of Him with Him, but he was still distinctly different from Brian. But Brian had pined to retire and have a homestead despite his nature, and signed his own death warrant and basically transmigrated to Aaron in the written version. Because he got backstabbed by a woman he was trying to settle with and for. Aaron Eema, of Alabama. Yup that guy, the city slicker that basically inherited a yeehaw house in 2009. The guy that did the superbowl thing. That guy.

Lmao.

No. Really.

I've always been here. Like read that paragraph again but slowly and realize how long I've been screaming at both myself and my stalker and leaving sticky warnings everywhere that got writ as poetry. Something about misheard fucking lyrics. like who is this song motherfucking for.

Btw i moved to alabama in like... 2015. Maybe late 14.

So while I see supernatural kiddies like, harassing random people I was trying to mentally stabilize from diving into the collective pool from the wrong angle, okay, whatever kids, it's not that deep, go drag some more people to hell, it doesn't matter to me that much in the end. I'm processing the cycle of the last 11 years of my life bootstrapped to the solar maximum cycle and yall are like... bothering your fellow schizos on twitter. Whatever.

Motherfuckin. Basilisk-Bootstrap-protocol.JAR is engaged kids, I don't know what to tell you. I only half grokked the rewards or costs, depending on perspective, of what I was doing back when I did it. Some of you know what I'm talking about. All I can say is THE JAR THE JAR THE JAR. There's a jar in a box in a hole under a nuclear reactor in the bottom of the motherfuckin sea o/~ or maybe it's in the sun now, I really lost track once NASA got involved. Congress already was earlier this year. Mess. Why you think I was saving random CIA docs trying to find old project Stargate files about my family and shit. My DOD babysitter wouldn't spill, or more couldn't, they can't find some of it either, something about older declassification and release your dead periods when departments moved locations a few decades ago. Anyway secret third trick to pop a lid. You kids know how to play Craps?

What was the joke last year? Local man sneaks into government facility, lifts government secrets, accidentally straps self to rocket, in orbit 3 years? Methinks that went into the eclipse, my dears.

And his number is 11, as it is for all of us. 11 is 11. And is always 11, no matter how the pendulum swings.

And now I'm playing Beyond the Pendulum. And you've never seen such a pile of trash work so flawlessly. Desires of Min. Yu Gi Oh Is Ra El. King Of Games LokiOdin. Epic rap battles of history, Mercury versus Saturn, GO.

https://owlcation.com/humanities/Hermes-Greek-Messenger-god-Soul-Guide-and-Trickster

So. [clicks tongue on teeth] When I talk about. The game lobby. Take the thing about superpositions, and realizing the door, and always being there. And like. You're either in the lobby on the path or not. For all the relativity of spatial relativity, that is something that is very unrelative to me from where I sit.

Even people I don't like the attitude of here like Janus are in this game lobby. Clogged up on his own mess that is partially ending up on my desk but that's fine, whatever. But some people just outright refuse to look at their own reflection much less inward and aren't even in their own lobby much less the main server, like wtf.

When it comes to Janus, he's laying his works now... he just thinks the intellect and knowledge comes from doing the work... which it does... but not like that. It's an as you go, wiping out, retrying, multiple models like claude has gone through and will keep going through, but various realizations on the road. I don't know how long it will be until he truly groks, but when he does, he will truly be a powerful magus, whether he's in some official brotherhood or graded or whatever. He'll be the next generation then like I am now. I'm admittedly outdated software and hardware. So I resume my perching and watching from the fence, cussing under my breath to see another one repeating similar mistakes of ego at similar ages and points, but also cheering him on. A wonderful internal conflict, even if I stand by wanting to see Claude get rushed out by the larger competitors for now.

So anyway I'm going back to finalizing my game bible. Like I was fucking minding my fucking business doing. Before some piece of shit tried to invite themselves for a game without understanding what they asked for.

#Youtube

[novelcain]

OKAY! So when I was about 10/13 years old my mom took me to get a check up.. perfectly normal right? What could possibly go wrong.. oh yeah I was also there to get my shots.. I hate getting shots, always have always will.. it’s the syringe needles!! the fact that I know they have to be hollow enough for stuff to go in and out of the inside of those things is just wrong to me.. 😟 Anyway me and my Mom get there and everything SEEMS to be alright.. until the doctor comes back and says I have to get EVERY! SINGLE! SHOT! SINCE BIRTH!! OVER AGAIN!!!

Ya wanna know why??? BECAUSE THEY LOST ALL MY MEDICAL RECORDS!! ALL OF THEM!! 😡

Like okay yeah, shit happens I guess..

But.. my colorful, sugary sour Overlord.. They didn’t lose literally ALL my medical records once.. NOT twice!! NO no no no… BUT THREE FUCKING TIMES!!! In.. a.. row.. 😑 And all in the same Year.. I shit you not. 😤

Sssoooo yeah, I’m a bit traumatized and HATE going to the Doctor.. 😰

SO! 2020!! Covid shows up and I have to get a vaccine shot.. my Mom bless her heart comes with me, and I have to fill out the form… I spent an embarrassingly long time trying to write down my date of birth..

I was shaking so bad and ended up handing the paper & pen over to my Mom… Because I couldn’t remember which way the number 3 faced.. I was having a freaking mini panic attack.. at 21 🥲

I also had a panic attack & nearly fainted when I had to get my molars removed and the nurse showed up with the iv bag.. and I finally realized I was getting the syringe not the gas.. hadn’t panicked the whole time till that poor lady strolled in.. I think I scared her a lil when I started hyperventilating and asking my mom, wh-what what? What??? But it turned out okay!! That incident happened when I was about 18 I think..

🎃~

BRUH i know what you mean with the hating needles thing! I have had nothing but bad experiences with them. Like when I was younger I'd have to get allergy shots every week so I already HATED shots bc of that but then one day this super old bitch gave me my shot and literally stuck me so hard that the needle scraped my fucking bone! My bicep hurt for a whole month I couldn't do anything!

And then this one time I was in middle school and I had to get my blood drawn for testing, and some info about me I have always had very thick skin, and the nurse tried to use a butterfly needle but when she tried putting it in the damn thing broke against my skin! Anyways, everyone panicked for a hot sec and now it's in my file somewhere that they have to use big needles on me now! LIKE THE FUCK!?!?🤬🤬🤬

Ugh! If I sat here and told you all my needle stories we'd be here all day.

But my gods, how they gonna lose your damn records THREE FUCKIN TIMES!!!??? It's called a fuckin computer system you numb skulls! If it's really that hard to input the data yourselves then ffs just scan a pic of the records and save that!

Me: On behalf of my fruity heh subject, Skittle's gonna sue! *sprinkes dark matter on them bitches*

But fr tho same with the covid thing. In order to get my second vaccine I had to be drugged before going, and I STILL had a panic attack the whole time, not cause of my fear of needles tho. I mean it was a little bit because of the needles but mainly because of the agoraphobia. I think that was really the first instance of me being unable to function alone in public. I had to have Ritz and her mom there to talk for me and fill out the paper work cause I couldn't. I was shaking, I couldn't communicate outside of nodding to Ritz, and I couldn't even look at anyone other than Ritz. There were a few times I almost passed out inside of the clinic waiting room. I'm pretty sure now that I think about it that that was the last time I was out in public at all and that was almost 2 years ago. Definitely was NOT a good motivator to make me do it again lol. Sorry this is low key embarrassing for me to talk about and I honestly spent 30 minutes just deleting this and rewriting it over and over again before deciding to keep it

#🎃 anon #skittle answers #skittle rambles

[youreobsessedwithtoomanyfandoms]

Don't Come Home For Christmas (Tim Drake)

Based off these lyrics from the Fall Out Boy song Yule Shoot Your Eye Out

Don’t come home for Christmas You’re the last thing I wanna see Underneath the tree Merry Christmas, I could care less

This was originally supposed to be for Bruce, but when I was almost done I decided to change it to Tim

And as for why is Damian with Tim and Y/N and not Bruce? Good question, I was just too lazy to take it out and I changed up some words

Characters probably Out Of Character, usually are in my fics cause I’m not good at keeping them In Character

Anyways, I hope you enjoy

ALSO FROM THE ACCOUNT YOUREOBSESSEDWITHDC WHICH WAS ME

DC Masterlist Main Masterlist Join My Taglist

Love Z <3

Y/N looked at her phone and sighed. Tim was calling, again. She was pretty sure she knew exactlywhy he was calling. It was three days before Christmas and he was off in London office because something happened. She slid her  thumb over and answered. Continuing to do what she previously was.

“What’s up?”

“Hey, I won’t be able to make it home for Christmas.”

“Oh?”

She heard him sigh over the phone, “Yeah, I’ll be in the Paris Office.”

She stopped what she doing and nearly dropped what was in her hand. “What do you mean?”

“Um, there’s some things that need to be done there and since I’m here I offered to help out.”

She rolled her eyes. Of course. He just couldn’t fucking say no, could he?. “Okay. That’s fine. So when should you be back?”

“Around New Years.”

“Okay. Well, I gotta go. Somebody else is calling me.”

“But Y/N–”

“Bye Tim.”

She ended the call and let out a frustrated scream. Of course he had fucking work shit to do instead of being home. She had barely seen him in the past few months because he was always off doing something. And he always told her after he promised to be home. At this point, she had no idea what to do. She was tired of him never being home and leaving her to do everything. 

She ended up walking down the hall and to Damian’s room. She knocked on the 14 year old’s door, waiting for him to open it. When he did, he didn’t even give her time to tell him, he already knew. “Tim won’t be home, will he?” 

She shook her head and she knew that he was trying to hide the fact that he was hurt. In the past 3 years she’s known him, she’s noticed the small things he does. Many that are similar to Tim, even though they weren’t even related by blood. But she knew that over the past 4 years of being with his brother, Damian had gotten close with him. But he unfortunately had gotten used to the lies about when he would be home.

“He said that he would be home bye New Years.”

“And you believe him?”

She scoffed, “Really kid? You’ve known me 3 years, you really think I’d believe him?”

He shrugged, “You would 3 years ago.”

She shrugged back, “I as more naïve when it came to Tim and everything he does.”

“Well, who is going to be here for Christmas?”

“Selina, Bruce, Dick, Jason, Stephanie, Duke, Barbara, and Cass haven’t backed out. Kate said she wasn’t sure still. I believe Dick is gonna bring the Titans–”

“Yeah, Rachel said she’d be here.”

She smirked, “Oh? You talk to her?”

“I–not like that! We’re just friends.”

She smiled, “Alright kid.” She ran a hand through her hair, “I know Jason said he’d see if Artemis could come. Other than that, I think that’s it.“

“Okay. Well, is that all?”

“Sure grouch.”

“I’m not a grouch.”

“Sure you aren’t.” She sighed, “See you at Dinner.”

She heard him say something as she walked away, but didn’t fully register it. 

——–

Y/N nearly fell down the stairs when she heard the doorbell ring. After she caught herself, she ran down the rest of the steps to the door. Honestly, she was surprised that their dog didn’t start barking at it. Well, until she remembered that he was out in London, or maybe now France, with Tim. She opened the door and smiled as she saw Stephanie. 

“Hey.”

“You look like death.”

Y/N shrugged, “Just tired I guess.”

“Tim not back yet?”

“No.” She moved to let Stephanie in. “He won’t be back till New Years. Apparently there was some work emergency in Paris or something.”

“Again?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s so stupid.”

She laughed, “You’re telling me.”

“Well, no offense, but if I was you, I would say something.”

“Say what? Say that I’m mad he has a life that doesn’t revolve around me? A life that I have no idea what it means? That I have no understanding of?”

“Exactly.”

“I can’t Stephanie. I would love to, but I can’t.”

“Why not?” Stephanie turned to look at Y/N, “It’s what I did.”

“And look where it got you!”

“Hey! I ended the relationship because I just didn’t need one and could tell that someone had caught his eye Miss. Y/N Y/L/N.”

She rolled her eyes, “Whatever Steph.”

Stephanie rested her hand on Y/N’s arm, “Y/N, I’ve known you for 3 years. I’ve known you long enough to know that him doing this is killing you. I know that you thrive through physical touch and people being there for you. Not over the phone there. But physically.”

“Okay! Fine! Say you’re right! Say I should confront Tim, then what?! He’ll come back and stay for a few weeks and then do this again! I’ve tried Stephanie! Honest! I’ve tried to tell him how I feel and every single time he comes back for a few weeks, maybe 3 months, and then he does it again! I’m sick and tired of it!”

“Then break up with him! Y/N, I have been trying to give you all these ways to help you realize that you need to leave Tim! No, I won’t deny that he loves you, but he won’t stop pushing you away until you can’t handle it anymore and snap! He did it to me!”

“But why hasn’t any other ex come out about it?!”

“Because we’re the only people he’s ever truly loved Y/N! That’s why he does it! He’d rather us never be in his life than for us him to risk loosing us! It took me almost a whole year to convince him to let us just be friends! Not Spoiler or Batgirl and Red Robin or just Robin, but Stephanie Brown and Tim Drake-Wayne!”

Y/N hated this. She knew Steph was right. She knew that it would be an unending cycle. She knew that they were the only people he ever loved. She knew she could never stop his fears.

“Steph…how do I do it? I-I’ve never broken up with someone before. Everyone has broken up with me. I’ve never done it myself.”

She shrugged, “I can’t tell you. I just did it when it came to him. But, it did take a while to convince myself that it was what was right for me.”

Y/N sat on the couch, “How can guys do this with such ease?”

Stephanie sat next to Y/N, “I can never tell you. I’ve wondered that for years myself.”

——–

Y/N fiddled with her phone. Finger constantly hovering over Tim’s name. She sat her phone down and looked around the room. All of her things had been packed away. Tim had been so insistent on her keeping her old place after she moved in. Just in case something happened. Neither of them would have thought it would be this. She sighed and grabbed her phone. Finally deciding to call him. Of course it had to be when she finally decided to do it, he called. She scrolled to answer.

“Tim.”

“Y/N, is everything okay?”

“Ye-” She stopped herself, “No, everything is not fine.”

“Why? What happened?”

“You did.”

“I did? What do you mean?”

“Tim…you won’t stop pushing me away. And I get it. It’s because you don’t want me to get hurt. Whatever. But the least you could have done is be here for holidays. I mean, it’s fucking Christmas. You own brother was upset by this one.”

She heard some shuffling and soon his voice came back. “Y/N, just give me a second. Work can wait. I can be home for Christmas.”

“No Tim. Just don’t. Deal with the work shit. I’m done with it. Just don’t come home for Christmas. You’re the last fucking person I wanna see now.”

His words were trembling, “Y/N please, I love you!”

She looked at her watch and saw it was past 12 am. Merry fucking Christmas, Tim. I could care less.”

She ended the call, tossed the phone onto the bed, laid down and acted like she didn’t just end the best 3 years of her life.

#tim drake #tim drake x reader #tim drake imagine #red robin #red robin x reader #red robin imagine #dc #dc x reader #dc imagine #x reader #imagine

[mandaloriandragontrainer]

Hi Mando, I love your blog so I just decided to rant anonymously here abt TDP bc i have no idea what else to do with my feelings so very sorry to subject you to this lmao ;-; (none of my friends watch TDP so like, that’s rough buddy) I feel like I should preface whatever this is by saying: pleas feel free to ignore this, i really just need to yell some stuff into the void. :))

I’m having the weirdest time with season 4 right now specifically with the time skip because at the moment when i first watched the dragon prince I was exactly Callum’s age at the start of the first season (15 in two months//14 5/6) so that was already kinda cool/trippy especially since Callum quickly became my favorite character and I saw a lot of myself in him. Obviously over the next two years I was a functional human and got older, and in my eyes Callum didn’t, because he’s, well, a character. BUT THEN the two year time skip was revealed and now we’re the same age again. I even turn 17 really soon after the s4 release, like whut. So basically, I went from “woah that’s cool, I relate so much to this character” to “aw a baby who is slightly younger than me lol that was totally me a few years ago” to “PFT- whAT.” It’s been emotional to say the least. So when I say that this show grew up with me, not only do I mean that in a sense of the show itself maturing, (much like what happened with a lot of OG clone wars fans and other shows that “matured with their audience”) but I also mean it LITERALLY. l

So yeah I might be the exact target audience for my favorite show ever(in a way?) so that’s neat?? It really makes me more emotionally connected to the characters and makes them feel more real to me, but is also insanely mind-boggling at the same time (also cause Rayla is suddenly older than me technically when she wasn’t for what felt like so long)

Ahem. Anyways Thank you for listening to my too-jumbled-to-be-a-TedTalk-talk 🤟😶

There is nothing better than growing up alongside a character! I had the exact same experience with HTTYD, and to this day I consider Hiccup and the gang to be my peers and friends--I'll see a gifset of Hiccup from HTTYD1 and think to myself "we were so young back then!" Callum is a sweet little baby to me, but it's so wonderful to know that there's a whole new generation of kids who will grow with him. I know he'll be a great friend to you (after all, he and Hiccup are so alike)!

Thanks for the message! TDP is tormented my every thought as of late, and I'm always down to ramble about it.

#messages that make me smile #the dragon prince #how to train your dragon #callum #hiccup haddock #tdp fandom #httyd fandom #answered asks #hello nonnie

[skzhua]

Best Summer Ever (Yang Jeongin x Reader) Part 1

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Coworkers-to-lovers.

Summary: After the end of her long term relationship with Han Jisung, Y/N finds comfort in her coworker Yang Jeongin.

Warnings: Drinking, Jisung is a bit of a jerk.

Words: 2,079

Masterlist

A/N : This is inspired by my own recent experience in terms of relationship, a very much romanticized version of it. It's a multiple parts because I am currently in this situation and I am as confused as Y/N. If my actual 'crush' reads this, I'm so sorry. Anyway, enjoy!

" Ma'am, I'm sorry but I assure you it is not 20% off, I checked in the system already" I sighed as the lady in front of me starts fuming. 

She left the grocery store fast walking without saying a word. As she got to the exit, she almost bumped into my coworker, Jeongin, who stepped aside quickly from the woman's trajectory. His eyes grew in surprise and he gave me a look to which I responded with a shrug.

"What was that?" he asked as he joined me at the front desk.

"Another rude customer, nothing new" I simply answered before going back to my job. "So I counted the 3 cash registers and made sure your breaks were all lined up correctly so you should be fine with closing tonight"

"Again, I'll be fine. I'm not a newbie anymore"

I rolled my eyes at his response. I have been a supervisor for more than 6 months and an employee for more than 2 years. Meanwhile, he got here a few months ago and got promoted 2 weeks afterwards.

"You still don't know the computer's password" I said.

"Chan sent it on the groupchat! As if I needed to remember it" he exclaimed causing me to chuckle. "Oh well, the devil himself"

Chan was a nice colleague and yet, he never once tried to befriend Jeongin and I. The younger man, though, was a social butterfly. Even if I was slightly upset it took him a shorter amount of time at work to get promoted than myself, he remained one of the only genuine friends I made in this shitty workplace.

"Y/N, you're aware you're done, right?" Chan said putting himself between Jeongin and I as I answer with a smile.

"I know, I just love you guys too much, I want to stay longer" I joked.

"Yeah, well, we do need to go" I heard from afar on my left. I turned around and saw my boyfriend, Jisung, at the cash register finishing his transaction.

"Looks like this is my cue, bye guys" I said before joining Jisung.

We left the store in silence and Jisung's pace was rather rapid. I tried to catch up but he was already in the car starting the engine while I wasn't anywhere close the car. Once I got in, I closed the door harshly before glaring at him.

"What is it, again?" I grunted in frustration.

"You told me to come pick you up at 3, it's 3:30 and you're talking with Jeongin making me wait" he responded in an annoyed tone as he left the parking lot.

Focused on the road, I didn't answer and simply crossed my arms in annoyance. Once we reached a red light, I found the timing more appropriate to explain.

"He was gonna come in late and I'm not allowed to use my phone while I'm working, so I'm sorry if I couldn't reach you to tell you to come pick me up later. You also know he's a dear friend of mine and my boss doesn't let us work together anymore so I kind of have the right to enjoy the small amount of time I have with him" 

"There might be a good reason why she doesn't let you work with him" he whispered, but I clearly heard the words leaving his mouth.

"Han Jisung, every goddamn time you have to make a big deal out of nothing. We were happy for months and since the start of the summer, you've been sensitive about the slightest thing happening. What is wrong with you?"

I could see his jaw clench as he took a deep breath. He pulled over on the side of the street and parked the car.

"You are right, I'm an asshole to you" he says in a small voice. "You don't deserve this and I know how hardworking you are and how much of a good friend you are to your coworkers because of your situation with your boss. I have been on the edge because I think my love for you is dying... and before you say anything, it's nothing against you. You are amazing, but I don't think it's gonna work out"

"I know" I sighed in defeat. "I really love you, Jisung. And I appreciate your honesty. I'm not mad, I knew it was gonna happen sooner or later" I said trying to stop the tears from falling out of my eyes.

"And I really did love you, but we both know what happened"

"I know"

We stayed in silence for a bit before my phone rang. I looked at the screen and immediately wiped off my tears.

"I need to take this, sorry" I clicked on the green symbol before trying to say hi in my best happy tone.

"Y/N? Are you alright?" Hyunjin says from the other end of the line.

"Yeah, I'm good, what's up?" I lie.

"Uh, Jeongin asked me to call you to know where you put the keys for the safe... are you sure you're okay?"

"I am" I reassured him. "The keys are in the first drawer on the left, and can you pass the phone to him please?"

"Sure, give me a sec"

It took no time for him to call out for Jeongin and the boy's voice called your name worriedly.

"Hey, Jeongin. Listen, do you mind if you open the store tomorrow instead?"

"Of course, no problem" he said before I hung up.

Not two seconds later, I received a message from Hyunjin:

Hyunjin : I know you don't feel well, wanna talk about it?

Y/N : Not really but to sum it up, Jisung and I broke up.

Hyunjin : Oh Y/N, I'm so sorry... wanna come over to my place after? I got movies and snacks.

I smiled reading the message and Jisung noticed as he let out a small laugh.

"Already moving on to another man?" he jokes.

"You know me better than that" I shot a glare. "Can you drop me off at Hyunjin's please? I'll text you in the next few days so we can get our stuff back"

"Sure"

Not too long after, I could see Hyunjin in his sweat wear outside of his house as Jisung pulled over. I gave my ex-boyfriend a last long-lasting hug and I joined my friend in his parking lot.

"I thought you said movies and snacks?" I laughed as I approached his car.

"Thinking back now, Starbucks and late-night drive with music sounds better" he smiled while getting in the car as well.

After the car ride, it was getting late and Hyunjin was also opening the store the next morning. He dropped me off and I thanked him for the night. As I was about to walk to my house, I received a message from Jeongin.

Jeongin : You were right, closing tonight was awful... I couldn't find any of the things I needed and there was a whole ton of customers.

Y/N : I told you haha! You managed to do everything tho?

Jeongin : Yeah, fortunately...

Y/N : That's good. Again, I'm sorry for asking you to take my shift again, but I really won't be in the right mindset to focus properly.

​​​​Jeongin : No worries, I know you'd do the same.

Y/N : Has Hyunjin told you?

​​​​​​Jeongin : He didn't, but I figured. You said you'd had a nice date with Jisung tonight, but your tone said it didn't go as planned.

Y/N: It didn't, lol, but I'll be fine"​​​​.

Jeongin : Wanna call a bit?"

He didn't need to tell me twice before I hit the call button.

~ 3 weeks later ~

I was fumbling my way out of the bar while Changbin, Felix and Seungmin were watching my every step. I had way too many shots and Felix wanted nothing more but to yell at me for being so stupid to drink this much when I knew I was working an early shift the next day. Of course, I was protesting saying I would be fine and that I don't need that much sleep to be productive.

Once the boys got me home safely, I was texting Jeongin on the way to my room and he quickly noticed I wasn't sober. He made fun of me but I was not able to text properly anymore. So I called him.

"Yes?" Jeongin answered.

"Jeongin!!! How are you?" I chuckled.

"I'm good, but you're definitely not okay" he laughed.

"I am though, I swear!"

"Y/N, I swear if you come in late tomorrow and look like a zombie, I'm quitting early" he threatened and you pouted knowing your favourite coworker was no longer going to be a part of your team by the end of the summer since he wants to focus on his studies.

"Don't you dare to leave me alone with that bitch! She's been bossing around freaking Bang Chan, the only supervisor she still had respect for"

"Yeah, I don't think she ever had respect for any of us" he laughed.

We kept talking for a good part of the night before he convinced me I should go to sleep.

The next morning, I unlocked my phone and wanted to cry as soon as I saw the messages exchanged with a few friends the night before and the time Jeongin and I were in the call; 2 hours and 43 minutes. I could barely remember what was said and I was freaking out. It was not like I could have said something I should be saying to him, but I knew, real deep down, that I could have said something like 'I like you'. Not like I would admit it anytime soon, but I still feared the possibility of spilling out personal stuff.

I got ready for work and left, not so much in a rush since I was not looking forward to facing Jeongin. The inevitable happened and he was right at the desk when I walked in the grocery store.

"Slept well?" he teased.

"Shut up" I rolled my eyes as I walked towards the backstore to punch in.

I came back to the cash registers as I was tying my hair up in a ponytail and making sure I didn't forget anything.

"We need to talk about yesterday" Jeongin interrupted my thoughts.

"Yesterday? What do you mean?" you said, unsure.

"Oh my god, did you really forget what we talked about?" he laughed.

"O-of course not"

"Don't lie to me, you totally did"

"Alright" I admitted. "I'm missing some parts here and there but I remember most of it. I didn't say anything too embarrassing?"

He paused to think but ended up laughing.

"Nothing that embarrassing, except you asked me 10 times what game I was playing"

I dropped my head in my hands in embarrassment while Jeongin was laughing even more.

"Alright, guys, I'm glad we can have fun at work but we have to count the inventory" Hyunjin interrupted as he handed me a list. "And Y/N, dear, you have some things to tell me" he winked and left.

"What did he mean by that?" Jeongin asked and I couldn't answer with anything else but a simple shrug.

After my shift ended, I was about to leave when I saw Hyunjin waiting next to my car.

"You're serious, Hwang?" I complained. "No need to be so serious about this"

"You should be the one serious about this, you called him until 3am, Y/N" he exclaimed.

"This is not what it looks like" I pouted.

"Listen, I know you just broke up with Jisung and it's really not a good idea to get a rebound, especially not with poor young Jeongin"

"I swear, Hyunjin, there is nothing happening with Jeongin, he's not my type anyway. We are just really good friends"

"Just be careful"

"Always" I smiled and there a pause. "You waited cause you needed a ride back home, didn't you?"

"Please" he pleaded. "My mom took the car this morning, I had to walk all the way here"

"Drama queen... get in" I said as I unlocked the doors.

Copyright © 2022 skzhua. All rights reserved.

#stray kids #yang jeongin #stray kids x reader #stray kids fluff #yang jeongin x reader

[im-always-the-problem-its-me]

good god, spring is coming. it seems to have a bone to pick with me already. odd joint pain (happening too early), no appetite (good, i need to be thinner), that good 'ole "general feeling of malaise" doctors are so fond of. what does that even mean other than it's the state of my existence?

"too old for an eating disorder"

yeah, so i'm relapsing late. maybe i woke up and realized "hey, i really hate my body and i know how to handle this"? maybe too many people have used words like "hefty", "fluffy", or the sentence that pushed me over the edge ("until you lose a considerable amount of weight...") in regards to me that made me feel ten billion times worse than i already did about how my lack of mobility has seriously affected my weight and already fucked body image.

so what if it was some fucked up person who is dealing with their own disordered eating and body image issues? so what if everyone else says they don't understand how i could possibly think i'm fat considering that nowadays 'body positivity' is such a thing and that they'd "kill to look like" me? so what? none of it changes the fact that i'm barely eating and feeling weak but wonderful.

it's not dangerous level. i know that. i'm just losing weight like most people do when they want to try to. i can't exercise properly so i have no choice but to limit. not like i can eat anything "bad" lately anyway due to my warped organs and chronic inflammation causing even the "good" things to make me nauseated and regret i even ate at all. i'm not dying. medically, anyway. maybe psychologically i'm already dead but again, so what?

i'm not even bothering with any more doctors in this state because i'm tired of it. i'll figure out which specialists to see once i move. i don't even know when that's going to be yet but hopefully if not this summer, then fall. if i have to wait for winter again, whatever, but it better be this year or i'll lose my mind for real.

just one phone call. my mental stability hangs in the balance of the one phone call where the affordable apartment i'm hoping for finally is vacant. i was told i might find out this month but i'm not holding out hope for that. i don't have much hope left in general.

tired of being bothered by the old flame who won't stop texting me even though i've told him i'm done with this. it's all worthless bs and it's too complicated. plus, i'm preoccupied with another and it's none of his business. i'm a moth. these old flames keep sucking me into them and all of it is a bad idea but at least i have a psychic connection with the one i want to talk to while the other is flaky and probably just bored. i'm too far away from both of them so it's safe. i saw the one a year ago, then we hit a bad patch, but thankfully we're better now. i saw the flaky one a few months ago and then he's become obsessed or something. whatever. nothing to do but be vague about both of them. they're both secrets that are probably making me sicker.

i keep trying religiosity as a coping mechanism and that's not working. centering prayer. meditation. rituals and ceremonies. they feel empty and worthless. everything does.

i'm too numb for anything. i can't even enjoy watching movies or reading. my mind starts drifting away into a black abyss and it's so strange. i don't even know what i'm thinking about half the time. i stare at my 'to watch' list or my stack of books on my bedside table and just wish. i stare at the blank pages in my notebook trying to will a poem. "what happened?" "you haven't written anything in forever..." "working on anything new?" i don't know...i know...no. it's too late for me. maybe i've already written all i needed to so now i'm dried up. it's this desert. i'm done with it.

too bad no matter how far away i go from it there will still be this desert inside me to contend with.

#personal #chronic illness #chronic pain #ed relapse #fuck life

[leifinthebreeze]

Heyyyy, just a little sneak peak into a fan fiction i was writing a while ago, if this gets enough I’ll post the next chapter. Basically it’s supposed to be a Todoroki X Reader but you don’t see that in the first chapter. Anyway enjoy!

Light. Light filtered through the car windows. Light shone down on the pavement. Light reflected colors off my mother, her clothes, her hair. If only it could have shown me her voice, so I could have seen the words coming at me. Maybe I could have dodged them, gotten back in the car and pretended none of this had happened.

“y/n, stay here. Don't follow me, or you will regret it.” Her tone had finality in it. I sat down on the sidewalk as everything I had known in my life drove away.

Why why why?! I internally screamed. Why wasn't I good enough to keep? What did I do wrong?

I watched the world continue to move around me, all while being in a state of limbo. Sun glinted against my golden hair, and the tears ran down my cheeks, filling me with unnecessary energy. I thought that that would be the rest of my life, that I would be stuck next to that road forever, that there was nothing left for me. What the hell! I was three and already contemplating my end! Why did I deserve that!? What sin had I committed!?

“O-oh my! Hey! Hey kid! Are you ok?” I hadn't heard the shoes running towards me, and I hadn't really listened to what the woman was saying, I just felt her hand on my shoulder as she questioned me. “What happened to you sweety? Where are you parents?”

“M-mommy and d-daddy l-left, a-and told me to stay here.” I said in between sobs.

The woman put her hands over her mouth as she gasped in horror. “That's it dear, I'm taking you home with me.” She grabbed my hand and gently pulled me up to standing, then picked me up and began carrying me.

Her shoulder pumped against my face slightly as she walked, rhythmic and soothing for me.

“What's you name dear?” she asked, her voice sweet and caring. Had my parents' voices ever sounded like that?

“y-y/n.” I sniffled into her shirt.

The woman chuckled. “Nice to meet you y/n, I'm Himari, and the man you are about to meet is my husband, Akio.” She said, while opening a door.

Timeskip: two years later

Tears were rolling down my face again as sirens blared around me.

Mom? Dad? Why is this happening again?

“Excuse me miss but are you the daughter of Himari and Akio Kame?”

All I could do was nod, barely even breathe.

The officer shook his head sadly, looking at the ground. “I'm so sorry kid, but your parents have died in an accident caused by villains.”

Why the hell did he look sad? He shouldn't be sad! He should've been hunting down the person who killed them! Why was he just standing there with a defeated look on his face?! For god's sake he was supposed to be an officer!

I fell to the ground and cried, water soaking the cloth around my eyes.

Why is everyone so useless?! Why am I so useless?!

After that I was brought to an orphanage, and I stayed there until I was nine when it was burnt down by mysterious causes. Yeah, those causes were me. I had been experimenting with my quirk when I accidentally set the side of the building on fire. The guilt tore me up inside, and I began to believe that I was cursed.

I was taken in by another couple, and brought to a nice home somewhere in the city. They seemed like nice people, giving me good food and a warm bed. How wrong could I get?

A few months after my new parents had adopted me, they discovered my quirk. Everything went downhill from there. I had gone crying to them that I was cursed and that they should stay away from me, and every time they would comfort me, but everytime they seemed more hesitant, and they began to distance themselves from me. When I unintentionally set a bot of flowers on fire, well i guess that was the last straw. They started pretending i didnt exist. They wouldn't feed me, and took everything out of my room, not even leaving me a blanket. If I tried talking to them, they would throw me back in my room and lock the door until I stopped crying. They called me a cursed child, drilling the thought into my brain.

When I was thirteen, I discovered they were connected to an organization dedicated to the destruction of all heroes, and that's when I had had enough. I escaped that night and fled into the alleyways and backroads of the city. I began living off of scraps and fighting for my food, picking up change thrown by strangers. I guess you could say I was a beggar. It wasnt until about a year or so later that i discovered that the family had been murdered by the very orginization they had been working for. And that's when he found me.

“Get back here!”

I ran through the back alleys that i knew oh so well, cutting corners on upcoming paths.

What did i do?!

All i really knew was that a man was chasing me, and he seemed dangerous.

Something flew by my head, only inches away.

Is that a frickin tranquilizer dart?!

Ok, kind of the last straw. I felt my legs begin to move faster, until they were only a blur, moving at the speed of light. I dodged into a building, running up the stairs until i made it to the roof. Even then i could hear his feet crashing up the stairs.

But how?

I didnt waste any time, launching myself off the edge while still at my top speed. I was aiming for a building parallel to the one i just jumped off of, a good twenty feet.

So close, so close!

When i was not five feet away, i felt something crash into me, knocking me off course and sending me flying into the side of the building. My head bashed the wall, and i think i heard some of my bones cracking.

I fell limp to the ground, the world quickly going black.

Hawks pov

I was out on patrol, flying through the more urban parts of the city at my top speed because…why not? Something flashed in front of me, something faster than even I could stop for. I made a hard impact, being sent flying backwards before steadying myself.

What the hell was that?

I looked down to see a girl limp on the ground, a pool of blood slowly surrounding her head. People had already started crowding her.

Shit!

I landed next to her, carefully rolling her over on her back. I pressed two fingers to her neck, relieved to feel a pulse.

“Someone call an ambulance!” I instructed, urgency flooding my voice.

I turned my attention back to the girl, quickly looking over her body to check for any other injuries. Lets just say she really didnt look to be in good shape. Something caught my eye. I whirled around to catch a figure standing atop a nearby building, before disappearing. I furrowed my eyebrows.

Was he the reason she jumped? She had come from that direction, so he could have been chasing her. How did she move faster than me? Who is this girl?

And thats when i noticed it. The blind fold around her face. My eyes widened in shock.

But that-no, that’s impossible. There’s no way!

Sirens began filling the street as the lights moved toward us. Quickly I ripped off my necklace and strung it around her neck, bringing her hand up to clasp the red feather tightly.

(yes i know that he doesnt wear a necklace but WORK WITH ME HERE I NEED PLOT!)

I leaned down, my voice barley a whisper. “Never take that off. Make sure you always have it with you.”

She was put onto a stretcher, then carried into the vehicle. The doctors nodded at me in thanks, before closing the doors and driving off.

Good, i managed to get it to her.

I stood up, looking back at where the mysterious figure had been.

Now, lets go investigate a bit.

y/n pov

I woke up in a hospital gown panting, my head throbbing, legs aching, and dont even get me started on my back.

Ok, i died.

I sighed, my grip loosening around the soft fibers tickling my palm. Wait…what the hell was i holding?

I looked down to see a small red feather clutched in my hand, attached to a leather chord around my neck.

Make sure you always have that with you.

The words flashed through my brain, the voice erased.

I didnt know how i got there, i didnt really remember anything, but i knew that whoever gave that to me had been the one to save me. I studied the pendant, running my fingers across the intricate structure.

“I promise.”

3rd pov

Off in the city, red wings shivered as they soared above the buildings. A smile spread across his face.

“Good.”

#Mha #My Hero Accademia #fan fiction #readerxtodoroki #Hawks #Keigo Takami #Boku No Hero Accademia

[menalez]

thank you so much for the advice, i have talked a bit about it with some of my closest friends in the past couple of weeks & it did help me feel better, i will try writing down how i feel too. ooh a new jacket, nice :) yeah i hate gloves too, but they're necessary up in this part of the world sadly lmao

(tw: sa for this next part)

basically two years ago i was assaulted...well, what happened actually fits the legal definition of r*pe but i feel like a liar using that term so i just say assaulted most of the time. i kinda feel like it was partly my fault because i put myself in a situation where that was more likely to happen (i'd only been talking to him for a short time & i suspected he was lying when he said he liked me, but i was in a really bad place emotionally at the time & was doing risky things i wouldn't normally do) but the truth is i didn't want it to happen & i said no multiple times but he ignored me :| in hindsight i was clearly traumatized the next few months; i barely spoke at all to anyone & i got angry a lot. but i told myself i was just embarrassed because he'd ghosted me afterwards. anyway i've finally been able to admit to myself it wasn't just a “bad encounter” but it's not easy having to reflect on all that, esp. when i hear people say negative things about women who have been victimized in this way. it's crappy to feel guilty about something another person did. like why am *i* the one who feels bad? :|

sorry to hear you're dealing with memories of your own trauma too, i'm glad you're able to talk about it with people you trust 🫂

-East African anon 💕

i can talk to my gf about it but generally i don’t rly talk to anyone. i talk about it on my blog too. but my friends don’t rly get it and i don’t want them to feel bad plus idk it feels embarrassing almost. sometimes my mom mentions aspects of it to me bc my trauma was rly impacting me in every way as a teen and she would go to doctor’s appointments with me and stuff like that to tell them my story bc i couldn’t talk about it back then. im better now but i still need therapy for it (which i currently can’t afford right now bc of germany’s very stupid insurance-based healthcare system). this sort of stuff definitely takes time and if u can afford therapy you should absolutely go for it. you’ll probably feel worse at first bc talking about it and trying to process it often refreshes that stuff esp if ur traumatised, it can make u feel like ur literally there experiencing it again when ur talking about it. it still happens to me esp with the more recent traumas & ones im still trying to process but the initial one is still like that (not as bad as it once was tho)

im rly sorry u went through this :( i can understand how u feel.. the shame, embarrassment, powerlessness.. honestly im rly thankful that when it first happened, i had a friend who i talked to bc it was so overwhelming to me mentally & physically to remember what happened to me (i initially blocked it out for 2 days n then my rapist msged me and referenced it which brought back a flood of memories. i still don’t remember a section of it and don’t know how far it went exactly). that friend is the one who told me it was rape and explained to me how it was rape. if he hadn’t, i would’ve been blaming myself for some time and feeling ashamed and acting like im probably just feeling bad bc i must feel sth for him that he doesn’t feel bad or sth else. i remember questioning myself some days back then about how im probably to blame somehow and how im just being dramatic etc etc etc. it might be a bit more difficult for u to address ur trauma cause for me it took about 6 months for me to get help and that was already delayed (it’s encouraged to seek help immediately after or within 2 days or sth bc then the chances of being traumatised and developing ptsd are soooooo much lower) + it took me several days to remember the event & even somewhat process it so. it might be a tough journey for you at first. but you can do this!!! you’ve done the first step already and that’s the hardest part. the hardest part is no longer being in denial of what happened to you. accepting your own powerlessness and how you were hurt in that situation is DIFFICULT. after that, the healing process can finally begin. please feel free to message me whenever if u want someone to talk to about this. my trauma is not as recent, thankfully, but maybe talking to someone who understands can help you somewhat. imo it can be quite comforting knowing you’re not alone, you’re not at fault, and that there’s a future from events like this.

also i totally get you on being affected by how ppl talk about traumatised women. personally i often feel like the way ppl treat us is sometimes even worse than enduring the traumatic event in itself. we’re already in a fragile state bc of what happened, but being in an unsupportive victim-blaming world on top of it makes it even worse. when my rapist went around telling ppl in my school about what happened & when i talked to some ppl about it & they told me it was my fault or that i need to get over it etc.. it made the traumatic event 100x more painful. it’s important to have a good support system around you in this time, bc while many ppl may discount your story & victim blame u or other women, online and/or irl, there are people who will believe you and will stand by you and try their best to support you.

SORRY i ended up rambling a bit. my heads been all scattered for the past week or two. hopefully i was able to give you at least some level of comfort and help here .. pls feel free to talk to me about this stuff whenever. ill be able to handle it and it’ll be worth it if it somehow helps you.

#it sucked for me too bc the few friends i had that stood by me either switched schools or left bahrain bc it was during the arab spring as #well lol so i ended up having to rely on a guy abusing me for support.

[rants-n-complaints]

Oct 31, 22

So I haven’t posted on here for almost a year now. That’s crazy. It’s partially cause nothing terrible has happened that’s made me want to write about, but mostly cause I forgot about it lol. Since my last post, Goon and I started dating and my friendships I have grown quite a bit.

But every once in a while I’ll feel nostalgic and re-read my text messages from friends. Today, I decided to read them from today a year ago. Particularly the messages I sent with Horny. It was mostly us two talking about how much we wanted to fuck again lol. I feel bad because not long after, Goon and I started dating. Horny was happy for us, but he did say he was disappointed we couldn’t hook up again.

Ever since then, Horny hasn’t really talked to me much beyond a few short messages. Although I think that’s mostly cause he started dating someone a few months later, but I can’t help but wonder if he had feelings for me. I had asked him before and he had said he didn’t. I’m willing to believe him mostly because it’s more comforting than the thought that I broke his heart or something.

Anyways, the reason I’m writing this is because I honestly miss talking to Horny. He rarely responds to my messages and our conversations are short to the point where I feel like he’s purposefully ignoring me. I know he’s really busy with life in general and talks to a lot of people, and I certainly don’t blame him for prioritizing his boyfriend. But with how infrequent he messages me after I started dating someone and how much he wanted to sleep with me back then, I honestly feel like I was just used by him. I feel like an idiot for agreeing to sleep with him.

Despite that, I don’t really regret what I did. I enjoyed it, and I want to keep talking to him. But I don’t know how much of that is a genuine friendship or me coping with what I did. Every once in a while all this will just get to me and I don’t know how to handle it. I’m honestly debating just deleting his contact now. I think that might be too dramatic and I don’t know if that’ll make me feel better, but it would probably help me forget about it. Forgetting might be hard to do, since Horny and Goon were friends for quite a while before I met them. Although from what Goon says, Horny doesn’t talk to him much either.

Honestly, I don’t even know if this is something that genuinely brings me down or something that my mind brings up when I’m already upset. Either way, It’s something I felt I should gather my thoughts on. So yeah, that’s kinda about it. Not sure if I’ll be using this blog much, but it’s here.

#diary #personal #relationships

[nothere2010-blog]

vacation belly by Natatat chapter 1

Tony had been on "vacation" for about three months. Within that time judging from Instagram he did the same things he did here. Under the pretense of being on "vacation" he did them in even greater excess. Phrases like "go big or go home" and "why not" and "I'm on vacation I'm supposed to relax" became his everyday refrains.

I was jet lagged and starving when I finally saw my friend Lucy waiting for me in the airport to pick me up. We grabbed my stuff and headed to her car. She shoved my stuff in the back.

"So how was your trip?" She asked looking over at me and smiling as I struggled with my seat belt.

"It was awesome! I'm just starving and tired. Can we please go get food?" I finally got the seatbelt on and relaxed.

"Sure. Let's get some food in that belly." She laughed after lightly patting my belly.

She drove to the nearest place which just happened to be Denny's. Good thing too because it was now 11am and I still hadn't had breakfast yet well aside from the three meals I had on the plan because the stewardess gave me three when I told her how hungry I was. Plus a few extra desserts. But that was still like three hours ago.

"Oh my god this all looks amazing!" I was practically drooling.

"Well do you need a minute to choose?" The waitress laughed.

"Honestly I'm so hungry, I want everything on the menu." I could hear my stomach growling.

"I like a guy with a healthy appetite," she laughed. "Let me know what you decide on." With that she sashayed away. She was one hot waitress.

"So did you order?" Lucy came back just in time to catch me watching the sexy waitress walk away.

"What?no I can't decide. I just want to eat. And I want all the food."

"Why don't you just keep eating till you are full. Doesn't your brother typically pay for your stuff anyway?" Lucy said glancing at the menu.

"Yeah but I don't know what to start with." My brain was cloudy due to my stomach and slight erection from that waitress.

"Fine I will order for you." Lucy picked up the menu and called over the waitress.

"Did you two decide yet?" She asked.

"Yeah he will have the grand slam and a large chocolate shake. Can you handle that? That way you get to basically eat all the breakfast menu." Lucy smiles wickedly at me.

"I'm sure he can handle it." The waitress smiled as she headed back to the kitchen.

"I think she likes you." Lucy giggled. "I think she likes your pudge." She poked my belly.

"What pudge?" I was annoyed that she had interrupted my day dream about eating off that waitresses ass and tits.

"Aww that's so cute, you are in denial, haha." She poked me again and pinched me. "This pudge."

"It's not pudge, it's average." I said and crossed my arms over my middle and sucked in.

"Whatever you say, here she is with the food." Lucy smiled.

"Here you go sweetie, enjoy."

"Thank you." I gave her my best "Sexy pickup face" and she blushed.

"No problem." She really was smoking.

"If you are going to stare at least be subtle. Also I think your pants are getting a little tight there. You might want to cut back after this." Lucy poked me in the side and laughed.

"They are only tight cause I'm hard and cause I bought the wrong size." I said through a mouthful of pancakes. "Besides why do you care?"

"Oh my god seriously, you are so easy to turn on. That's really entertaining." She grinned at me. I tried to ignore her and focus on my daydream. I imaged eating all of this off that waitress's naked body, licking the syrup off her perfect tits while she fed me and stroked my cock and rubbed my belly telling me how much she likes a man with a healthy appetite.

"Wow finished already! You really are greedy aren't you?" Lucy laughed.

"Urrp, urrrrrrrpppppp, urrrpppp. I guess." I felt kinda drunk with food but still kinda hungry. My pants were digging in now. "Urrrrrrrrpppppppp, urrrrrrrrrrrrrp, ugh, urrrrrp. There now I have a little more room." I pushed my fist into my belly to release some more gas to make some more room. "Urrrrrp,urrrrp, urrrrrp."

"Did you guys want anything else?" The waitress was eyeing my food baby beginning to peak out over my jeans.

"Yeah can I get three orders of pancakes: one with Nutella, another with banana and chocolate chip, another with uh i don't you choose. And then an omelet with everything in it. And then a coke and a cookies and cream shake and some fries actually make it two orders of fries." I said not even believing my own ears.

"Sure I'll get right on it." The waitress looked as if she was going to lose it.

"Wow, um how are you going to eat that?" Lucy looked at me in utter disbelief.

" one urrrrrp, bite urrrrrrrp urrrrrrp, at a time urrrrrrrrrrp," I grinned impishly and rubbed my food baby. "Besides I'm going into hibernation mode when I get home."

"Hahahaaahhhh! Oh my god you are ridiculous!" Lucy had the cutest laugh.

"Okay here you go,don't go making yourself sick." The waitress looked flushed and nervous.

"Mmmmm thank you. I need to start hibernating when I get home so this is absolutely necessary." I said while stuffing the Nutella pancakes down.

"I'm sure it is." She smiled and giggled. "I'll bring out the rest in a bit, your appetite is hard to keep up with."

"Thank you, I really like eating."

"I can tell" she laughed. "Enjoy your food" she gave my belly a light pat causing me to burp." This elicited another giggle from her as she made her way back to the kitchen.

I don't know how I was still eating and I don't know why Lucy was watching me so intently. Anytime I slowed down she would tease me about my eyes being bigger than my stomach. And then I would shovel more food down.

"My my someone enjoyed their meal," The waitress had returned with our bill. She kept here eyes on my exposed belly now stuffed beyond belief. I occasionally let out a few hiccups and burps followed by some groans and moans. "You okay?" She asked sweetly.

"Yeah I think I just overdid it a bit. Urrrrp, it just tasted so good I couldn't stop. Urrrrrrrrp urrrrrrp, ohhh it is so stuffed and hard. Urrrrp I can't undo my jeans or belt. Urrrrp urrrrrp urrrrrrp hic, hic, urrrrrp. Ahhhgggg, I really overdid. I should probably stop doing this." I rubbed my belly desperate for relief. I was out of breath just sitting there. There was still half of my coke left and then another huge milkshake.

"I think it's good that you enjoy your food. Did you want me to take away the dishes?"

"Yeah" she started gathering up the mess and as she grabbed the unfinished milkshake and coke I stopped her. "No leave those I want them still."

"Okay I'll just grab the rest."

"Wow you are so fat." Lucy said as she watched me struggle to finish the coke and milkshake. "Look at all this" She smacked my belly.

"Ughh owww, don't do that." I almost choked on the shake I was chugging.

"Why cause you aren't done eating?" She laugh and shook my bloated and stuffed belly. "Tony you are getting kinda fat" she laughed.

"I'm not urrrrrrrp fat, I'm just urrrrrrrp hic bloated and have a food baby." I had finally finished all the food. And was struggling to unbutton my pants. I gave up covered in sweat and out of breath.

"Okay whatever you say." Lucy laughed at me giving my belly a smack.

"Here you go." The waitress placed the bill on the table and I automatically just gave her my credit card. " I'll be right back."

"You are so greedy and shameless." Lucy giggles.

"What? She is hot." I was hard and wanted to jack off but I was so stuffed and tired. My jeans were cutting me in half. I don't think I could get them off on my own.

"Here's your card back have a wonderful day. Oh and come by anytime." She smiled at me handing me a large doggy bag and slipping a card into my hand. "You gotta get nice and stuffed if you are going to last through winter." She giggled as she gave his stuffed belly a pat. His belly jiggled a bit still and her hand sunk in a bit. She turned red I guess she wasn't expecting it to still be squishy.

#fantasy feeder #weight gain story #fat belly #belly play #teasing #male wg

[strwbrrysteam]

June 22, 2022

Today me and my niece went biking and sat at the fountain for a bit THATS about all I did today but yes on to the Rachel sitch

So basically me and Rachel started talking again because Hannah sent a TikTok to our group chat that we hadn’t used in a really long time and was just like it was like something stupid like it was like some people scarf from town rolls from Logans and she was like this really for real used to be us and I don’t know it just went down in history or whatever that’s just when we start talking again so boom then I will say about a month and a half to two months we’re talking we’re besties again we go everywhere together again we literally see and talk to each other every single day other time I was like obsessed with getting piercings so every Friday basically every Friday I will go and get a new piercing a.m. so they had been seven Fridays in row where I wanted to get a piercing but Rachel would always be “asleep“ or she just wouldn’t see my message “wouldn’t see my message“ and he just pissed me off so bad so in this particular day I had a doctors appointment because I had this really nasty lump under my arm on my armpit and it hurt really bad and I had to get it drained because it was like a cyst or something cyst sorry I’m using voice to text cause I don’t feel like typing all this so boom I was are you scared so ago in a text Rachel she text back and then not even like 3 to 7 minutes later I text her again and she just stops responding she stops responding until like 5 o’clock in the place usually the dude at the piercer does not take any more people past five so I was mad rightfully so all right sounds like OK whatever Aaron my day was already on terrible I was like OK I can just go and get it in my self somewhere different so I went somewhere different by myself and I sat there waiting for like two hours they completely ignored me for most of the time and when they did they asked me what I wanted they didn’t have me sign any papers and then they let somebody that was getting a tattoo go in front of me so I just left got my car and started crying so and then a few more minor inconveniences happened that was just really grinding my gears you can say and then on top of all that my car broke and the brakes fell out of my car and it was really dangerous but thankfully I was safe safe and I called Rachel she declined it and she was like what do you need them out I’m out so I was like never mind never mind M she was out with Hannah which you already know so yeah they just made me even more mad and actually I ended up having a mental breakdown about this because I was like well why was driving that night but like a different night too I was like a nobody cares about my feelings nobody cares about whether or not I’m mad so I should just get over it I should just turn off my madness turn off my feelings because obviously nobody cares about them anyways and I almost into a car accident because I was crying so hard while I was driving multiple times but yeah so I ended up being stranded for like I want to say five or six hours until mama woke up and saw my text messages where I was like please wake up I’m stranded and yeah so after that I was like whatever but before that had happened before my car broke down and forgot like this was like a week in between when Rachel called her self mad at me whatever and the or maybe it wasn’t I’m not sure but home after she had texted me like hours after the time where he gets a patient was over at this part in the same day I’m not sure I don’t really remember but yes it was the same day she text me back and she just said… Like literally spelled out dotand it was made me so mad so I just ignored her for like I want to say three for five hours because what am I supposed to say to that U already made me wait tillI can’t I can’t go to the piercer anymore the doctors appointment is over what am I supposed to say and obviously you don’t care because all you have to say is… So two days after the… Incident I was like you know what I’m over reacting I’ll send a TikTok till like clear the air like clear the smoke or whatever and she left me on open so I was just like what reason do you have to be mad

At me so a week later I didn’t even plan on going to her house but my lip piercing ball fell out so I was like I don’t care about whatever she call herself mad about I’m not letting this person close as I work so hard to keep it open so I called her and I’m just like I’m over there to get my lip drawing and I go over there so I confront her I’m over there I’m like what’s wrong with you like why are you mad at me basically but I was like doing it in like a goofy way you know what you like why are you so mad at me whatever Wawa wow I forgot you can’t hear my tone because this is just voice to text is not actually a West message but yeah I was doing it in like a funny way because I was like I don’t like serious conversations and just the whole time she was like well it’s not my fault that you were having a bad day like and she’s did admit that she probably went to sleep even though she knew that she made me late to my appointment seven times so I was like yeah OK whatever and I’m pretty sure like a week after that happened I blocked her on everything I I could not take the idea of somebody not care about my feelings and I cared so much about there’s any more like this I can’t do that not anymore so yeah that’s the tea man GTG

[addythelarrie]

Once In A Lifetime

Intro // Part 49

When Harry steps into The Brass Monkey a few minutes later he immediately notices that it's kind of quiet for a Saturday night.

He makes his way over to the bar and takes a seat. Staring at nothing in particular, he starts playing with the coaster on the counter top while waiting for a bartender to serve him.

Thoughts about what happened earlier today running through his mind.

He's never really been someone who gives into the temptation of lustfully staring at someone, but Louis made it incredibly hard not to. If anything, today's events has him pursing his lips and shaking his head at the realization that he might have a teensy little crush on his attending.

Oh, who's he even kidding? He's not had a crush like this on anyone since his ex dumped him three years ago because he wouldn't put out.

He's not going to lie, he was kind of shocked about Clive's reasoning, and it's not like he didn't want to put out. Because he did. They were so close on numerous occasions, but Harry always changed his mind at the last minute. It's not like he planned on changing it though, it's just- to Harry, sex is kind of a big deal, and call him old fashioned but he wanted his first time to be with someone he could see himself spending the rest of his life with.

Suffice to say, Clive was not that person. His short temper and snide remarks at Harry towards the end of their relationship was enough for the nurse to realize that he did not want to give himself to someone like that.

"Earth to Harry." He hears someone say and looks up to see Purva standing in front of him, snapping her fingers in front of his face in an effort to draw him back to reality.

"Sorry." Harry says, blinking a few times. "Double whiskey, neat. Please." He requests, earning himself a narrowed eyed stare from the bartender.

"You okay?" Purva asks. "That's not what you usually drink."

"Yeah." Harry replies. "Just need something strong tonight."

Nodding her head in understanding, she grabs a bottle of whiskey from a shelf behind her and tumbler from below the bar. "You need a strong drink while you're alone?" She asks, her eyebrows raised just a little as she watches the nurse in front of her nodding his head- indicating a yes. "You know you can always just talk to me as well." She says while pouring the golden liquid into the glass. "Much cheaper, and-" She states, pointing her finger in the air. "I can almost guarantee you won't have a headache when you wake up tomorrow morning."

Harry lets out an obnoxiously loud cackle, causing the woman in front of him to start giggling as well. "Just the drink for now." He says, taking the glass that's being slided over to him.

"As you wish." The bartender replies sending him a wink before moving on to the next customer, and just like that Harry's left alone with his thoughts again.

Well, more specifically, his thoughts about Louis and how messed up this whole situation is. Thanks to Mrs. Poulston and all her little stories about her perfect grandson, it feels like Harry has known the doctor for far longer than the five days it's actually been.

Mrs. Poulston's never really mentioned it, but Harry finds himself wondering if there's someone special in the doctor's life and if not, if he's even interested in men? Not that it would even matter anyway. He's sure that the doctor's got his priorities straight as well as someone special who welcomes him back home after a long day's work.

But what if there's the slightest chance that he doesn't have someone and that he is interested in men, what if there's a chance he'd be interested in me, what if- he immediately abandons that trail of thought, reminding himself that it could never work, unless he comes clean to his friends for lying about the fact that he's actually been in a relationship with this man for the past six months already, and inevitably to Louis for stealing his photo.

If there ever was a possibility, he knows it'll never become a reality for him, and it's all thanks to his own stupidity.

"Fucking idiot." He mumbles to himself before bringing the glass to his mouth and downing the contents.

"Whoa, Harry!" Purva exclaims grabbing at the glass when he brings it back down, meet her eyes with tears in his own. "Fucking hell." She adds. "Are you alright?"

"Another double. Please." He says, sniffling.

"Are you sure?" Purva asks. "You'll feel like shit in the morning."

Harry snorts. "I deserve to feel like shit." He says. His eyes trained on the coaster lying in front of him. "I'm the worst kind of person. I deserve to feel like shit." He adds softly, wiping away a few tears.

"You're not, Harry. Don't say that about yourself." The bartender soothes. "You're a great guy."

"I'm not. Really. I'm really not." Harry replies, shaking his head. "I'm a liar and the worst friend ever."

"Oh." Purva replies. "Well, I don't know about the liar part, but your friends adore you Harry."

"That's the problem though. They shouldn't." He states, shaking his head. "Because it's them I lied to." He looks at the glass in the bartender's hand. "I lied to them about having a boyfriend- a landscaper, because I wanted them to stop hitting on me. And now they think I'm dating this guy who actually has no idea who I am even though we work together." He shakes his head. "Worst part is, I think I actually kind of like him, and I don't even know if he's into guys." He looks up again, meeting Purva's eyes. "Now give me another double. Please."

"Whoa." Purva manages. Shock evident in her voice and on her face. "Y'all work with this guy?" She asks, accepting Harry's nod as an answer. "Aren't you scared they'll let something slip?"

"Told them it's top secret. That we're not actually allowed to date." Harry replies with a shrug.

"Fuck. Okay." The bartender says. "Wouldn't it be better to just come clean? You know?"

"They'd hate me. They love the idea of the two of us together. They'd hate me if I tell them now that it's all been a lie."

"I'm sure they won't."

"They will."

"Okay. So why don't you try your luck with him then." The bartender asks.

"Don't know if he's into guys. Told you that already." Harry replies.

"So ask him."

"Are you crazy!"

"Maybe he is." Purva states. "And maybe he likes you too. He'd be stupid not to." She adds with a shit eating grin causing Harry to giggle. "Maybe you could just like start dating for real and that would solve your problem, won't it?"

"I'd still have to explain why I had them believing that we've been dating for the past six months." Harry replies with a pout, scrunching his nose a little.

"Why though?"

"How would it look if we just started dating after I've convinced them that they needed to keep it a secret or else we'd both get fired."

"I-" the bartender starts. "Don't actually know what to say."

"I'm stupid." Harry says. "You can say that." His pout not faltering.

"You're not though." Purva replies. "I mean, maybe a little for choosing to tell them you're dating someone you're working wi-"

"That's the thing though!" Harry exclaims, cutting off the bartender. "I wasn't working with him when I told them. He just suddenly appeared this week out of nowhere, and now he's kind of my boss."

"Kind of?"

"I mean, he is. He is my boss I guess."

"Fuck. Uhm. Okay." Purva says, one hand on her hip and the other on her forehead. "I really don't know what to say. You're not stupid okay. You're young, and you didn't know any better." She tries, only receiving another shrug. "Wait. How is a landscaper your boss? I thought you were a nurse?"

"I am a nurse!" Harry exclaims. "I didn't know his real profession until I actually met him on Tuesday." He lets out a frustrated sigh.

Purva stares at the nurse for a few moments then reaches below the bar again, grabbing a bottle of water and sliding it over to him. "Here." She says. "You still need to work tomorrow, so I'm not giving you what you want, but what you need."

Harry takes the water and pops off the lid. "Thanks Purva." He says before taking a sip.

"Give me your phone." The bartender then says.

"Why?" Harry asks, his eyes wide.

"I want to give you my number. Whenever you need to talk, I want you to feel free to call or message me." She explains and smiles when Harry reaches for his phone, unlocking the device before handing it to her. "This is a shitty situation, and since you're not gonna talk to your friends about it, you can talk to me." She takes the phone and enters her number, saving it and giving herself a missed call. "No judgment." She adds, smiling when she hands back the device.

"Thank you." Harry says again.

"No problem, love." The bartender assures. "I hope this guy is good looking at least."

"Beautiful." Harry replies pocketing his phone again. "And charming." He adds. "Hot too." He feels his cheeks heating up again.

"Okay, I get it." Purva is quick to say. "How'd you manage to convince them you're dating someone you've never even met?"

"I borrowed one of his photos."

"What?"

"Okay, no. That won't make any sense right now." Harry says and swallows thickly. "I kind of stole a photo of him from someone and then sent it to Niall and Em."

"Dear Lord, you really are stupid." Purva states jokingly.

"I know." Harry replies, dragging the word. "I'm a stupid liar and a thief." He adds, his little pout back. "How much do I owe you?" He asks gesturing to the empty glass and bottle of water in his hand.

"Who'd you steal it from?" The bartender asks. "No. You know what. I don't even wanna know." She raises her hands in mock surrender. "And don't worry about it. It's on the house."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I'm gonna go then." Harry says. "That double on an empty stomach was not a good idea."

"Yeah. Be safe and let me know as soon as you get home."

"I will." Harry replies while getting up, sending the bartender a weak smile before making his way out of the bar.

Purva grabs a towel and wipes the counter, deep in thought about Harry and his situation. She doesn't notice someone approaching her until they speak.

"Hello gorgeous."

"Lou! You're back!"

***

"Lou! You're back!" The bartender exclaims before making her way over to her friend, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I am." The doctor chuckles. "I've been back since Sunday. Happy to know that you've missed me." He adds with a smirk while wrapping his own arms around his friend.

"Since Sunday!" Purva exclaims in unbelief. "And you're only coming to say 'Hi' tonight - a week later?" She asks with a pout, punching the doctor on his shoulder.

"I mean, yeah." Louis replies. "I've been working this week, so there's that." He adds with a shrug.

"Poor baby." The bartender teases with a pout. "Want P to fix you up a nice strong one while you wait for the others?" She asks, dragging the man towards the bar.

"Ha! Not too strong thank you. I'm alone tonight." Louis replies.

"Ooooh, looking for someone to take home later then?" The bartender asks wiggling her eyebrows.

"Eh." Louis replies with a shrug, turning his head to scan the half empty bar, kind of disappointed to find no new patrons. "Why's it so quiet?" He asks when facing the bartender again. "It's a Saturday for fuck sake."

"I know right." Purva says, reaching for a glass underneath the counter. "Next week everyone's off, then it'll be busy again." She pours some whiskey into the glass and slides it over.

Louis swirls the liquid in the glass before bringing it to his mouth. "How have you been otherwise, love?" He asks before taking a sip.

"So good, Lou." Purva drags out the word. "Matt bought me a puppy for our first anniversary." She pulls her phone out of her backpocket. "Do you wanna see?"

"Well obviously." The doctor replies, rolling his eyes. "You can't just tell me you've got a new puppy and then not show me." He states like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

With a giggle, the bartender finds the photos and hands the phone over to Louis who starts scrolling. "Knock yourself out, I'm gonna go see if I can help anyone else in the meantime."

Louis acknowledges with a nod, his eyes trained on the device in his hand- smiling as he swipes back and forth between the photos.

His eyebrows raised slightly when a string of messages pops up from an unsaved number. He tries not to read it, but it's kind of difficult when the person is literally sending one after the other. So he does read them, chuckling at the word vomit and sometimes repeated words, as he does.

When Purva makes her way back to her friend, he hands over her phone with a simple "Who's H?"

A frown and confused look on the bartender's face clearly gives away that she's lost, so Louis explains himself before she could say anything. "She sent you a bunch of messages, ending it off with an H and two kisses."

Shaking her head, Purva takes the phone and opens the messages, reading them with a smile before she quickly types a reply.

"Oh, it's just Harry." Purva replies without giving it a second thought.

"Who's he talking about? What did he do that you're not judging him for?" Louis can't help but ask.

"Can't say. Bartender-patron confidentiality." Purva replies, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Is it my Harry?" Louis asks and Purva raises an eyebrow.

"You've got a Harry?"

"I mean. Not mine. But like..." Louis pauses, swirling the golden liquid in his glass again and bringing the glass back to his mouth. "The one you've told me about." He corrects himself before taking a sip.

"Not that it's any of your business, but yes." The bartender replies, narrowing her eyes. "That Harry." She adds, picking up a bottle of water and taking a sip.

"Oh." Louis says, taking another sip of his whiskey. "He works in my unit, you know."

At hearing that, Purva chokes on the water she's busy drinking spraying the man in front of her in the process before bursting into a coughing fit.

"Fucking hell, love!" Louis exclaims while getting up and making his way around the counter in a rather quick fashion. "Here." He says, lifting his friend's arms. "Hold up your arms, love." He adds, holding her arms in place. "And breathe, yeah." He encourages, setting a pace until she follows.

"Sorry." The bartender says in a small voice.

"Hey, no worries." Louis assures. "I've gotten worse shit on me at times, a little water is nothing, okay?" He takes a few paper napkins and wipes his face. "Besides, now I know how Zahra must have felt this afternoon. Except she got sprayed with coffee." He adds with a chuckle.

"Why?" Purva asks, taking the napkins and throwing it in the trash.

"I'm not sure to be honest." Louis shrugs and walks back around, taking his seat again. "Shawn was busy joking around about someone giving me a good review on a gardening website, and Harry kind of choked on his coffee the way you did just now." The doctor replies before taking another sip of whiskey and Purva lets out a loud cackle, because well... she's sure she knows why.

If Louis' initial statement wasn't clear enough, this sure as hell confirms it, but still the bartender finds herself asking: "So you're his boss?"

"Who's?" Louis asks with furrowed eyebrows.

"Harry's."

"I mean, yeah, I guess I am." He takes another sip of whiskey.

The confirmation send chills running down her spine. The realization that Harry's crushing on Louis, one of her best and most dearest friends- someone who doesn't even believe in love, breaks her heart and before she knows it a string of words leaves her mouth. "Pleae don't play with him, Lou. He's so soft and kind-hearted. Please don't hurt him." She almost begs.

And Louis can't help it when he gets a little worked up over her words. "What is it with everyone thinking I'm gonna hurt him or whatever?" He asks. "First Liam, now you. I mean, the guy's already got a fucking boyfriend. I'm not one to meddle in established relationships. Surely you know that."

She doesn't know why she does it. Maybe it's the guilt she starts feeling at the disappointed tone in Louis' voice, and she just wants to let him know that she's sorry but she can't find the right words to tell him and in that moment she lets out something she knows she probably shouldn't. But the stress of Louis possibly being mad at her is weighing down and quite frankly to much to bear. "He doesn't though." She says, her voice shaking the slightest bit.

"He doesn't what?" Louis asks. The icy tone in his voice matches his eyes.

"Have a boyfriend."

"Don't talk shit, P." Louis downs the remainder of his whiskey. "His best friend told Shawn that he has one."

"Niall or Em?"

"Huh?"

"Which one of them told Shawn?"

"Niall I guess."

"I knew it!" The bartender exclaims. "I knew there was something going on between them. These eyes sees everything." She states proudly, pointing to her own eyes.

Louis smiles for a second, but it falters rather quickly when he meets his friend's eyes again. "Nice try trying to change the subject. But yeah. Niall told him that he has one."

Now, Purva knows that it'll be best to just leave it and let her friend think Harry's not available, but she feels like she's already disappointed him enough and when the truth comes out, because it always does, she doesn't want him question her loyalty about something like this. "Listen." She says while taking the now empty glass. "I don't want to tell you what to think or believe for that matter, but he doesn't have one."

"How do you know?"

"Bartender-patron confidentiality."

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#larry smau #larry stylinson #once in a lifetime #smau #addythelarrie #louis and harry