#when most people won't have noticed a damn thing!! as for example the people on barricade | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

unknownfacelessfanfictions · 5 months

Text

Decorations

Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Pairing: Senator Vreenak x fem!Reader Words: 1.2K Summary: Vreenak knows a lot about humanity and their sentiment towards certain traditions. That didn't prevent him from being surprised when comming home to a newly styled house A/N: Not completely satisfied with this one, but it won't get better

Not my gif!!!

WINTER WRITING PLAN

Vreenak was not sure whether to feel amused or sceptical.

Of course he knew why she did what she did, after all he was not stupid or simple-minded. Vreenak was aware of the human tradition, which to his knowledge was celebrated in many, although not all, cultures on Earth at this time of year.

He was also quite aware that people who celebrated this festival tended to become incredibly joyful and emotional. They started seeing friends and family, even if they hadn't seen them since the last festival, and bought loads of unnecessary things that they would pack away after a month anyway.

And in addition, he was quite aware of people's tendency to decorate their dwellings unnecessarily and load them with rubbish.

He was aware of all this, but nevertheless he had not been prepared to come home that evening and find the house in such a state.

As soon as he opened the door, his entrance hall greeted him, dressed in dozens of twinkling fairy lights. After setting down his bag and taking off his coat, he let his gaze slide with scepticism over his wife's handiwork.

The aforementioned fairy lights stretched throughout the entrance hall, over railings and door frames, up to the ceiling, which was several metres above Vreenak's head. Also on the ceiling were colourful spheres and greenery, the branches of which were tied together with careful red bows.

Whether he liked it or not, Vreenak had to admire his wife's willpower and stubbornness in putting the decorations up there on the ceiling. He knew from his own experience how difficult it was to get to the ceiling.

Nevertheless, he still wasn't quite sure what to make of the display.

Sounds from the lounge caught his attention and on silent soles he slipped through the corridors of her dwelling until he arrived at the doorway to their lounge.

A slight smile crept onto his face at the sight.

On the floor, surrounded by boxes of various sizes, squatted his wife, her brow furrowed as she concentrated on untangling the string of fairy lights in her hands. Scattered on the floor around her were baubles of various colours, more fairy lights, the green branches he had already noticed in the entrance hall, and various wooden figures, which seemed bizarre to him.

Some of them he could still understand, for example the one that was probably supposed to represent a snowflake.

However, Vreenak was not sure who the blond wooden figure in the white dress and with wings was supposed to represent.

He had seen this representation several times before, but had never shown enough interest in it, to search for the answer.

The most striking thing, however, was the huge wreath of branches that stood on the table. There were four red candles on it, and here too he could make out the already familiar balls and cones. Even if he couldn't quite make sense of it.

"Damn thing," she growled, tugging briefly at the string of lights. "You'd think in the 24th century we'd have strings of lights that would be easier to untangle, but no-" A curse escaped her, causing Vreenak's eyebrows to shoot up. "Half an hour I've been fighting you you bastard and it's no use."

Quietly, Vreenak approached her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Well, well, I haven't seen you so dedicated in a long time, e'lev." As soon as his hands came into contact with her shoulder and his voice reached her ear, she flinched and wheeled around to face him, her eyes wide with shock.

"Oh heavens, Vreenak! Don't scare me like that!" He chuckled in amusement and pressed a kiss to the back of her neck just below her ear and could feel a shudder rush through her.

"You're getting inattentive, wife." He ran a hand through her hair. "You must be careful. Otherwise someone might hurt you." She leaned back and he could feel the smile on her face.

"That's what I married you for, isn't it?"

"And I thought it was because of my irresistible charm and good looks."

"If anything, it's for your power and money," she returned with a laugh before turning slightly sideways and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"I didn't expect you to be home so early. I had hopes that maybe I'd be done decorating by the time you arrived. "A sigh. "Well, most of it down here is done."

Vreenak settled on the floor and pulled her into his arms so that his chest was pressed against her back and buried his nose in her neck. "And may I know the reason for which you so adorn our home, e'lev?" Her hands wandered back to the string of lights.

"I don't think I need to explain to you what Christmas is."

"No, but it doesn't explain the state of our home."

Playfully, she slapped his arm. "Oh please, don't act dumber than you are. I was trying to get into the Christmas spirit. On Romulus, Christmas just isn't that sought after due to the absence of other humans. I was just craving something typically Christmassy." She sighed and traced the lines on his palm with her fingertips, causing a shiver to run through him.

"But perhaps I should have asked you first, e'lev. Forgive me."

Vreenak clicked his tongue. "Nonsense. You are my wife and as much lady of the house as I am lord of this house. To be more accurate, the house is probably even more yours than mine, considering how much time you spend here." He pressed a kiss to her neck and she chuckled softly, bringing a smile to Vreenak's lips. He couldn't stand it when she was sad.

"If it makes my wife happy, she may put up as many decorations in this house as she likes." A glow spread across her face and she turned, but Vreenak raised an admonishing finger.

"However, I have one condition. We will not put a tree in our house." A sigh escaped her, however, she nodded in agreement. "Very well. We will just have to settle for these." She took one of the small twigs in her hand and waved it in the air.

"Tell me, my dear husband, are you aware of the tradition of these twigs? What happens if you stand among them with a person?"

He shook his head silently and leaned back a little when he saw the mischievous smile on her lips. "Well then, allow me a demonstration."

Silently, Vreenak smiled to himself as his hand moved to her neck while her lips caressed his. Of course he was aware of this tradition.

"I would like to call it a day," she murmured, "however, I still have to finish my fight with this string of lights." He smiled and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Then I wish you good luck, my wife. I am aware that you can fight your battles alone, allow me to get you some refreshment. Kali-fal, perhaps?"

Agreeing, she nodded and Vreenak rose before bowing playfully. "I will return shortly, Ihhei." Her laughter followed him into the kitchen and he could not hide his own smile.

Truly, he would be able to tollerate this bit of decoration if it put his wife in such high spirits.

And perhaps, he thought, as his thoughts returned to the green branches, not all decorations were so awful.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

@bigblissandlove1

@akamitrani

#star trek #star trek deep space nine #star trek deep space 9 #star trek ds9 #ds9 #senator vreenak #vreenak x reader #senator vreenak x reader

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i-trash-about-things · 9 months

Text

a.n.: this is a very self indulgent blurb about the local metalhead I've been obsessed with after ending ST. Call me a basic bitch if you want, Eddie's the coolest.

First person perspective; use of Y/N, Henderson!Reader; GN!Reader; Reader and Eddie are childhood friends; Reader is Eddie's age (20); Eddie and Chrissy survived, Vecna didn't (because fuck'im dried grape looking mf); mentions of puking; mentions of violence; fluff; slight angst; English not my first language; first time writing for Eddie, might be OOC.

word count: 4.2k

High School dances and second chances.

Some people say falling in love is hard. Aerosmith even says it's bad on the knees.

I don't know. I mean, if I recall correctly, I've only been in love once before and I never truly thought it was hard.

Maybe it's just because Eddie's easy to love. Despite what literally everyone else says, he's the easiest person to love I ever had the pleasure of meeting.

I mean, c'mon– for this feeling to have lasted all the way from 6th grade to his third senior year of high school, it couldn't have been hard.

And yet...

"It's not worth it, it's all I'm saying!"

"How it wouldn't be worth it? The worst thing that could happen is Jason will try to knock your brains out–"

"And we all know that Jason doesn't stand a chance to your personal bodyguard," I use the can of Pepsi on my hand to gesture at myself. "yours truly."

Dustin nods to my words, eyes wide as he looks between me and a surprisingly awkward Eddie.

"See! It'll be easy! Just- ripping off a bandaid!"

"You two really are siblings, huh?" He grumbles, sending me and Dustin the same done look. Dustin sputters, trying to explain himself, but my lips just curl into a familiar shit-eating grin.

"What can I say? Simplicity runs in the family."

And, to some degree, it does. Or maybe Dustin just spends way too much time with me and it's slowly catching onto my motto: "why overcomplicate things?"

Eddie sighs, glancing over his shoulder to the subject of our conversation. Chrissy Cunningham, cheerleader and queen of Hawkins High. One of the sweetest girls I've ever seen, even as she cried when I held her hair out of her face, the toilet in front of her smelling of stomach acid.

You see, while I've been in love with Eddie for most of my lifetime on this god forsaken world, Eddie has been on the same dilemma. Only this time, it was worse (or better, depending who you ask).

He's been in love with Chrissy, but instead of following my example and being her best friend, he's barely spoken two words to her, especially after the Vecna accident.

I never truly understood how that worked. Maybe it's because his situation is so different, and yet so similar, to mine. How could he love someone without speaking to them? Being their friend? Hell, how could he be even attracted to them? It's mind boggling to me.

But hey, who am I to judge? I'm way too enthralled in the process to make a fair judgement anyway. They'd revoke my law-license.

As my thoughts drifted for a second, my eyes lost in the way his bangs brushed over his eyebrows, he and Dustin keep talking in low voices.

"Dude, even if she doesn't outright laugh at me, she probably doesn't even want to look at me!"

"That's even better! That means she'll won't even remember it if you guys bump into each other again!"

"He has a point." I break out of my silence, not even noticing what I'm doing until I'm setting a cigarette between my lips. "It's literally just a high school dance. Which you ditched, twice, the last two years you didn't graduate."

My smile turns soft at the corners– because this time he did. I'm so damn proud of him.

"Point is: the worst that could happen is she'll softly turn you down. Chrissy is one of the sweetest girls I know, she won't be a bitch about it."

"Language!" Dustin extands a hand out and I grumble as I hand him a dollar. Eddie doesn't even blink at the interaction, already so used to the Henderson siblings he's not even fazed anymore. Instead, he just sighs.

"Yeah, yeah, I know... It's just–" He stuffs his face into his hands, grumbling and huffing like a child.

Cute.

Breathing in the cigarette smoke, I jump from my seat by the bleachers and walk over to Eddie. My hand finds his shoulder, squeezing for half a second, and I can only hope he can feel the warmth and care and love I have for him right now.

"Eddie."

He raises his eyes, beautiful soulful brown eyes that remind me of hot chocolate and fall, and for a long moment we just stare at each other. After that, a soft smile blooms at my lips, and he relants.

"Ugh, fine."

"Atta boy." I pat his back, chuckling as he sends me a look. Dustin let's out a sigh of relief, just happy to have this conversation over with.

It's easier for him, the person he loves loves him back, after all... Even if she's hundreds of miles away.

(I remind myself to recheck if Suzie's plane ticket is confirmed when I get home. Don't want the surprise for his birthday to be cancelled.)

On the first opportunity of getting out of this conversation, Dustin dips, saying he's gonna check out with the guy's and talk later. Soon, it's just me and Eddie by the empty gym, cigarette smoke twirling between us.

"Man..." He chuckles, passing a hand through his beautiful hair. "I can't believe I'm getting nervous about going to prom."

"I just can't believe you're going to prom. Honestly not that impressed you're nervous." And he rolls his eyes dramatically as we take our seats again.

"Oh yes, because you never were nervous before."

"And I never was." I lie through my teeth, a bad habit I've been developing the last few years.

I make a point of not mentioning how I always grow nervous to leave Hawkins to college. How I always get nervous when I come back, thinking this it'll be the time he found someone to replace my spot on his life. I mean, it isn't that hard, right? I'm just his best friend, I'm not that special. There's probably hundreds of people that would make an even better job at it than me.

"Never? In your whole entire life?" His voice both snaps me to reality and sinks me deeper into my self deprecation. I just chuckle, shaking my head with the cigarette on my lips.

"Nope."

"Not even when I almost killed your character last session?"

"Not even then."

"What about in that one presentation in sophomore year? Or when you were applying for that fancy-schamcy university of yours?"

"Nah."

He sputters, shocked. Because yeah, I'm not lying.

Because, even if the character I played all through high school died, even if my presentation sucked, even if I didn't get to the college of my dreams- he would still be my Eddie.

Now? Now I'm not so sure.

We stay silent for a while, at least until the burning of the cigarette reaches the filter and it burns my fingertips. When he breaks the silence, I almost don't notice, too deep in my own head.

"What's up with you today?"

"Hm?"

"See? That! You're so out of it!" He scoots closer to my side, pressing his legs against mine, shoulder against mine, until I can't sense nothing but him.

I wished he would do that more often.

"I'm just tired. Driving for two hours after spending a whole day in a cold ass college classroom ain't that fun, you know?"

"You're not, tho. I know you, dude, maybe more than you know yourself."

A bitter chuckle leaves my lips before I can hold it and Eddie's big, expressive and hypnotic eyes express his confusion way too well.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing, just..." I trail off, not sure what to say. He doesn't give me the time to think.

"What, you're saying I don't know you? After spending a good portion of my life with you? You think I'm that dumb?"

"I never said that, Eddie." I send him a look, one that not even I can explain. It's dark, it's piercing, it's... It's just pitiful. "Stop putting words in my mouth."

"Well it's not like you're giving me much to work with!" He groans, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest, tattoos shifting on his skin. I have to stuff my own hands in my pockets to not trace over them with my fingertips. "You've been distant."

"Have I?" I mumble, still not sure what to say so I just fiddle with the broken lid of the old Pepsi can. He takes the it away from my fingers, forcing me to look at him.

"Yes. You have." He spits out, hand on my shoulder, eyes piercing into mine. Maybe if I was stronger I could return the look, but... I'm... "Y/N."

"Yeah?"

"Talk to me. Please."

"Eddie–"

"Please."

I let out a shuddering breath, pressing my face into my hands.

"I don't know... I don't... I can't..."

He pulls me to him, until I'm not beside him but in front of him. I can't hide, not when I feel like my limbs weigh a thousand.

"Then try."

...

Words...

God, why must I have to talk? Why can't I just... Show? Like, having powers like El and being able to just project my feelings for him to see? it would be so much easier. Show something I could never put truly into words.

But haven't I been doing exactly that for the last 9 years of our lives?

I take a deep breath, eyes stinging a little.

"I'm..." My tongue feels like it's made of lead, spit feeling like acid on my lips. And I just groan out the next words. "I feel... Bad."

"...Ok. That's a start." He nods eagerly, squeezing my shoulders in a sort of awkward encouragement. "Bad for what? Did I do something wrong? Is it something from college? Family?"

"No, no- you didn't do anything." Which is only half a lie. I rub a hand down my forehead, hair falling over my eyes as I let out a heavy sigh. "It's just... This prom thing, it... It feels bad."

"Why does it feel bad?" He asks, more directly this time. Soulful brown eyes, confused. I have to turn away from them to not get lost in my train of thought.

"I don't... I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just... Regretful?"

"What? Why would you be regretful?" He keeps pushing, keeps asking, knowing me well enough I'll probably just run into a wall of jumbled up feelings and words if he stops. This guy truly knows me too much. "You had a good time at your prom night, didn't you?"

"I mean... Yeah?" I scratch the back of my head, sighing. Yeah, I did have a good time on my own prom, about three years ago. So why does the thought of him having that same fun makes my chest burn?

...

Oh.

Oh, shit.

It's because he didn't go with me.

Like he could physically see the lightbulb turn on behind my eyes, Eddie lifts an eyebrow.

"So? What's the problem?"

I bite the inside of my cheek, looking desperately for an excuse. I don't want to come out as clingy, much less jealous. I hate hate hate feeling jealous, possessive. I hate it. I don't-

"Y/N?"

"It's just–" He won't let me think of a lie. That little shit. Instead I sigh, passing a hand through my hair and looking away. "I don't know. It feels funny thinking you'll actually go this year."

And I let the half sentence linger in the air, while the last part sits just beneath my tongue: when you didn't go with me when I invited you.

"And that makes you feel... Bad? Why? That... Doesn't make any sense." He frowns, like he senses there's something I'm not telling yet. Damn him.

"Yeah, I know it doesn't." I shrug, bitting my tongue and leaning back against the bleachers seats. My arms are crossed over my chest, ankles crossed as well with my eyes staring up at the ceiling. Closed off. Distant.

If he knew me for any less time, he probably would've backed off, but sadly for me–

Suddenly I feel him leave my side, getting up from his seat, then walking to stand directly in front of me.

"Y/N. C'mon."

My normally nonchalant and relaxed expression feels way too heavy right now, my eyes shifting to look at his beat up boots with mismatched laces.

"I... Just..." I groan, passing a hand through my hair again but tugging on it like I'm trying to get my head in the game. "Promise you won't laugh. Or hate me."

He's way too used to my need for reassurance. Eddie leans down, until he's face to face with me despite the fact I'm still sat. There's that damned smirk on his lips, the one that makes me want to play with his hair and–

"I promise, I won't hate you. I must've told you that, like, a hundred times now."

"...Just... Just making sure." I clear my throat, flushing a little in embarrassment... Before letting out a sigh.

"I'm... I feel bad because... I... I'm not sure how to explain it." I play with my rings, shaking my head like a snow globe, hoping the new perspective will help. "Uhh... Remember when I graduated? 2, 3 years ago?"

"Yeah? What of it?"

"Remember I asked you to go to prom with me?" Surprisingly, his eyes light up a little, the smallest hint of a smile on his lips. So soft, so beautiful and so damn easy to fall in love with. Damn him.

"Yeah, I do. You made a whole corny ass prom-posal thing, made me go on a treasure hunt and everything."

"God, don't even talk about it." I flush harder, feeling even more embarrassed. God please just take me out. He frowns at my reaction, crossing his arms.

"What? I thought it was cute."

"Yeah, yeah, if you say so..." A grumble leaves my lips, just wanting to get to the roots of this conversation. Just get it done and over with so I can get back to loving him silently. "Point is, back then, I was actually kinda excited. I knew you didn't graduate that year, but I thought 'hey what's funnier than not passing but going to the party anyways?'. I made all these plans where we would go around playing pranks on people, wanting to make you feel excited for something but..."

I close my hands, breathing slowly.

"You backed out."

There's an unintentional dramatic pause, where I try to get used to this sense of vulnerability. It feels excruciating, like he's picking me apart with those beautiful eyes of his.

"And I understood, because of course I did. It made sense, I guess it would've been too painful. I really didn't, and still don't, hold it against you, I just..."

Looking for any kind of comfort on this awkward and vulnerable situation, I bring my knees against my chest, almost mumbling my next words.

"I just... Kinda wished we could've gone together, I guess."

And another beat of silence.

My skin tingles with the feeling of his presence a feet away from me, the way I can feel his eyes boring into my head as I nuzzle deeper into myself. I kinda feel like an armadillo right now. Or those little insects that turn into balls– what were their names again? Maybe I should make them my next tattoo.

Before I can let myself drift away, I feel him move.

He takes a step forward, crouching to meet my eyes. He looks so... Soft. I mean, he always has a certain tenderness to him, but this is... It makes my heart melt and race at the same time.

God damnit, Eddie.

"You actually wanted to go to prom with me?" He looks so sweet asking that, the vulnerability in his eyes matching mine. I chuckle, his question making me frown in confusion.

"Yes? Duh?? I thought going through all the work of setting up a chessy treasure hunt would be clear enough, dude."

"No, but–" It's his turn to let out a small laugh, eyes boring into mine like it's the first time he's ever seeing me. "I thought I was just... A pity invite. Like you were trying to make me feel better by inviting me instead of going with someone you actually wanted to go and dance and be cheesy with."

The sheer thought makes me pause, the confusion and disbelief he would ever think that making me feel a whole less awkward about my little moment of openness.

I set my knees back down, frowning at nothing in particular before a confused giggle leaves my lips. My eyes finally turn back to his, and it's like a spark of fire flies up in that.

"What??? Dude, no??? I genuinely wanted to go with you! I was looking for matching suits and everything!"

The confession would probably make me blush at some other point, but I just laugh right now– not noticing the way his own eyes widened and cheeks turn warm.

"Plus, who else would I invite?? You were the only person I remotely liked at that point in high school, and not only that you were– you are my best friend! I wouldn't want anyone else!"

WOW OK– Back off a little, Y/N, we're going a bit too much into the too-honest category. Slowly back away into besties again, or else he'll finally catch on the fact you've been in love with him for a good portion of your life. Beep beep beep–

He doesn't give me that chance.

Before I know what's happening, his hand is on mine and he's pulling me off the bleachers and to him– but we fall onto the shiny floor of Hawkins High gym.

He doesn't seem to mind the fact I'm crushing him a little, right now. All I can feel is his face on the crook of my neck, arms around my shoulders with our legs tangled together.

"Jesus– A warning, Eds–"

"I love you."

...

what

My mouth moves before my brain does.

"I love you too."

And for the first time, I'm thankful for that.

Because, after the split second of panic, I let out a melancholic chuckle, nuzzling into his hair.

He loves me, like a best friend does to the other.

Not like I do.

Not like Orpheus loved Eurydice, not like Darcy loved Elizabeth.

Not like I do to him.

And I've made my peace with that, so I just hug him back, feeling my heart break and race at the same time.

"No, Y/N–" He pushes me off of him, just enough so he can look at me. I have to plant my forearms by the side of his head to not fall off. He looks so pretty beneath me like this, hair sprawled around like a halo, cheeks stretched into the smile I fell for. "You don't have any idea how much that meant to me. I'm serious."

"Well, it's the truth." A soft chuckle leaves me, and I shrug. "You're literally the only one I want to go to prom with, why'd you think I ended up going alone?"

"What, you didn't had a backup date?"

"What?? No, I didn't have a "backup date", ew. What I mean is I did have offers, you know? A few people asked me to prom."

"What! You– You never told me that!" He grabs me by the shoulders, and if I wasn't planted so firmly over him, he might have shook me like trying to get me back to my senses. "How could you never tell me that, Henderson! I'm your best friend, God damnit!"

"I didn't think it was that important!"

"How could you think it wasn't?! It's a big damn deal someone tried to take you away from me!"

God damnit Eddie stop saying stuff like that-

"No one could ever take me away from you, you know that."

...Maybe I need to stop saying stuff like that.

"Yeah, but still! Who was it?? Was it someone I know?"

"Does it matter? They already graduated! We probably don't even recognize them anymore!" I can't help but laugh, chuckling as my hair falls around my face like a shaggy curtain. "Plus, it's not like it's gonna make a difference, the guy I actually wanted to go with didn't go with me."

He stops at that, hands weakening their hold on my shoulders. I immediately regret saying that.

"Oh. Right, yeah. I'm..."

"Eddie, hey, it's fine." I immediately jump up to reassure him, shaking my head and sending him a soft smile. "I really don't blame you for not going. Like I said, it must have been a bitch to not pass then have to go to prom. Really, I get it."

"I mean, yeah, but..." He looks away from me, tilting his head to the side. His bangs shift, hiding one of his eyes. "You were so excited. I never thought I would see you happy to go to a dance, much less a school one."

A puff of a laugh leaves my lips. My arms are starting to hurt from holding myself up like this.

"Yeah, it was a surprise to me too. But hey, it's fine, it's in the past. I had my turn at prom, now it's yours! And you're going with Chrissy!"

I mean, he didn't invite her yet, but– C'mon, who could say no to those eyes?

Weirdly, he grimaces at my words, almost flinching at the mention of the cheerleader's name.

"Yeah... Chrissy."

I tilt my head to the side, frowning, probably looking like a confused puppy in his perspective.

"You still nervous about inviting her?"

"No, it's not that."

"Well then, what is?" He glances back to me, before hiding further into his hair. Even with my shoulders straining from effort, I gently raise one of my hands and brush his bangs away from his eyes. His skin feels weirdly warm beneath my fingers. "C'mon, Eds, talk to me."

It's rare seeing him like this and it's eating me up inside. Normally I'm the first person he runs to for help, the first that gets him out of trouble– like when I helped him get Chrissy back to normal and out of Vecna's clutches, or when he had to hide in a boathouse for days when he was accused of assaulting her and breaking both her legs (despite her claims of his innocence.). I refused to leave his side for more than 10 minutes and got fiercely protective when we came back from the Upside down.

Honestly I have no idea how he didn't catch on the fact I'm in love with him in all that time. Steve kept saying I looked like a feral guard dog everytime anyone got remotely close to him.

"I... Just realized something." He mumbles, effectively waking me up from my wondering. Slowly, gently, he pushes me back and sits up. Still not meeting my gaze.

"What is it?" I give him space, despite the fact all I want is to hold him down again and force his eyes to look at mine. I feel like I'm drowning in worry at this point. Damnit, I shouldn't have said anything about prom. Or about Chrissy. Or– I don't know, maybe I shouldn't have ever opened my mouth. I was never good with words.

"I, uh..." He fiddles with his own fingers for a moment, before freezing. Suddenly, a smile opens at his lips–

And he raises his head, eyes finally on mine.

And it takes my breath away.

"I just got an idea."

Oh boy, here we go.

"Nothing good ever came out of those five words before."

"Oh, but that's where your wrong, my dearest angel!" He almost jumps up from the ground, looking absolutely ecstatic. "I just had the best realization of my life! I don't think I've ever had a better idea!"

Without even asking, he pulls me up- with enough force to slam my face into his collarbone.

"Ow–"

"Point is–Sorry– I need to go. Gotta a lot of planning ahead of me!" He practically giggles, pressing a kiss to the crown of my hair and skipping off into the gyms exit.

All I can do is watch him. Watch his messy and unruly hair disappear behind those doors, his smirk and excitement the last thing I see before he finally runs off to do... Something?

I must have stayed there, frozen, for at least half a minute, just staring at the void with our conversation rerolling on my head.

"What the hell just happened?" My voice echoes back to me and the gym suddenly feels a lot bigger.

With a confused but half amused sigh, I grab my bag and empty can of Pepsi off the ground and slowly leave the school.

Well, whatever that was, at least he looks excited. For me that's all that matters.

A soft, but slightly sad, smile crawls up my lips at that thought.

It's funny how many times I say those words to myself. "As long as he's happy." And it's surprising how many times I actually mean it.

A lot of people say one of the worst pains is unrequited love, that one sided pining that can last years and years.

I don't know. I honestly kinda like it.

This feeling.

It's like playing super spy, like I used to play with Dustin and the kids when we were younger. I know a secret no one else does– or at least he doesn't. It's fun. It hurts, sure, but it's fun. It's playful and fun and easy.

Easy like loving him.

And when I say I'm content of just being by his side, even if he doesn't see me the way I see him...

I mean it.

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #stranger things x reader #reader insert #hmmm i feel so damn cringey for posting this tbh but I'm also so proud of it #actually had a lot of fun writing this #like a lot of fun #hope y'all five people still in the stranger things fandom like it #+++ late tag:#HD&SC #trash's writing tag o/

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thelikesoffinn · 4 months

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Hello! I keep browsing the tavstarion tag and asks from you blog keep coming up, and every time they do I enjoy the hells out of reading them. All the Astarion asks got me thinking though, and as I'm in the process of writing a fic, I figured I'd ask your thoughts (out of curiosity).

First thing's first: I understand Astarion's trauma responses are very... prickly, for lack of a better word. My question is how you think he would deal with a Tav who has a very people-pleasing response. For example, focusing entirely on anyone else's problems and completely neglecting their own, or only being able to say "no" when in such acute distress that they physically cannot give any more.

The second part (because I am guessing his response, based on how he's reacted in-game and also from reading your analyses) is how he might react to learning that that people-pleasing response is because of trauma they went through, either in their teens or young adulthood. How might that recontextualize some of his earlier assumptions? Do you think he would have any mixed feelings?

I wanted to write a Tav that's internal and solitary, who thinks they're "over" the trauma that happened to them. I thought the dynamic of someone who's been coping for years and has distance in comparison to Astarion who literally only just got out of his situation was interesting.

Hiya dear!

I'm happy you like the asks, haha, although I must admit hearing that they're very noticeable amongst the Tavstarion things is making me self conscious! 🫠

When it comes to people pleasing - or fawning, as it's also called - I think we can all sort of guess how Astarion would react. The boy isn't secretive about his displeasure regarding all things "noble" and I'm sure that, at first, the respect he holds for your Tav will be very low.

The thing is: When we see someone whose initial response is to fawn, we don't automatically default to trauma. Most people are far more likely to just view them as a really good and kind person or, especially in work settings, as a suck up. It takes time to realise that, hey, maybe Jeff from accounting actually just can't say no.

I don't think it will be different with Astarion. (In fact, out of all the companions, Wyll might actually be the most likely to notice that your Tav is having a hard time saying no.)

Depending on your Tav's general attitude, Astarion might default them to yet another kind hearted do-gooder that runs around the world with childish naïveté and that? That is a sitting duck.

To act 1 Astarion, kindness relates to weakness.

And weakness is something he can exploit easily.

As we all know, Astarion craves safety, which is why he latches onto Tav to begin with. And if Tav's someone who others listen to AND who seems easy to manipulate? Fuck yeah. That's an in if he's ever seen one.

If Tav is prone to saying yes to anything and prone to avoiding conflict, he won't even need to do much to get them to do his bidding. The right words, some puppy dog eyes and a hint at what he wants done, and they'll go and do it without protest. Add a couple of compliments, and he'll have them wrapped around his finger. That is exactly what he needs to be safe, and he'll not be shy of making use of it.

And I think it would be somewhat amusing to him, to see Tav try that hard to make everyone happy because he, quite plainly, doesn't get it. He doesn't understand why someone would care that much about others because to him, his own survival and happiness is what matters the most. Everyone else be damned if necessary.

(Just a tad bit presumptuous, seeing as he himself tends to salute and follow orders at the cost of his own personal boundaries if the person he deems the leader demands it - i.e. the Araj Oblodra bite - but let's let the poor guy have his delusions.)

Once he grows closer to Tav, his former amusement will likely quickly turn to frustration. In Act 3, we learn that Astarion is extremely loyal and, apparently, rather protective.

Part of why he insists on ascending for so long is not just for him - he wants to be able to protect Tav, and he thinks his spawn self is not enough to accomplish that. (This is highlighted by the fact that romanced Astarion is much more insistent on ascending than one you're only friendly with.)

Tav is important to him. They're his person and watching them bend over backwards for everybody and their mothers prostitute before thinking of themselves is probably not going to sit well with him.

He doesn't care about other people, but he cares about them, so he wants them taken care of.

BUT Astarion is not versed in the art of caring for others, not the best at communicating - he's trying, we can see that over the course of the game, but it'a process that takes time - and he is very prone to frustration, so I wouldn't be surprised to see his worry mostly expressed through sniding remarks, sarcasm and arguments.

Once he realises WHY Tav is the way they are...well, that is a bit difficult to pinpoint down, because it has a lot to do with his own mental state at the time. How he views himself and his trauma will reflect on how he views them.

An act 1 Astarion who is still very raw, very afraid and very much in pain might be somewhat disgusted and deny the very obvious similarities between the two of them.

Tav was hurt. People had hurt them and yet they're still trying to appease everyone. They're always doing whatever anyone asks of them without hesistation, even when they clearly shouldn't. How much of a pushover can one person be? Don't they have any self respect? It's pathetic.

It sounds cruel - it is cruel - but, in th end, he's not truly talking to Tav here. He probably sees part of himself, the part that jumped when Cazador said so, the part that listened to every order just so that he wouldn't have to suffer. He sees the part of him that grovelled, the part that gave up.

The part he hates the most.

(Fun fact: My least favourite state of healing to work with, because clients can actually be really difficult during that time.)

A more stable Astarion, however, could actually reevaluate a lot of Tavs behaviour. He might see them less as a naive child and more for what they are: Someone, who's trying to live.

They don't want to get hurt again, so they try to not offend anyone. They'd rather be stressed and tired and overworked than suffering again. They're not uselessly kind, they're not stupidly selfless - they're scared.

What he does with his body, they do with acts of service. They're protecting themselves in the only way they know how.

That realisation could somewhat mellow him and, most prominently, it can give him a sense of community.

It's a bit difficult to explain, but people who have experienced abuse and are now in the process of healing might start to experience a sense of community with those who had similar fates. Not in the sense of: "Let me bare my soul and dump my trauma onto you now - so when I was 12, my dad..." but in a very specific, comfortable way.

It creates a sense of understanding, if you will.

It means that the other person understands, even when you don't say anything. You don't need to fight; to explain yourself - they understand. They might not understand all of you, but they understand enough not to let it cloud their judgement. You'll be alright and they understand.

So Astarion won't need to tell Tav every little thing, he won't need to explain every reaction, every misbehaviour, every slip up. He won't need to fight for his right to be quiet, sad, angry or sulky.

He won't need to explain because even if he doesn't, they'll know that he has his reasons, and they'll be there when he's ready to talk.

Anyway! Those two options are really just a few of all the reactions he could potentially have, because, as I said, it's so hugely dependant on where he is mentally and how he views Tav, himself, his past, etc... It's really difficult to narrow down properly.

The dynamic you have chosen is really, really bursting with potential - both for drama and healing - and I hope it's as fun and rewarding to write as I imagine! ✨️

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate #baldurs gate #astarion #astarion x tav #astarion ancunin

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super-paper · 3 months

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Any thoughts on the leaks from the new chapter??

I really enjoyed the dialogue between izuku and tomura this chapter, especially that unhinged look on izukus face as he says he'll rip the damn rug/cover with his own hands if he has too. And that last panel between izuku and toshi, the "you can be a hero!" scene but now saying he needs to let go of ofa...wow, cinema.

Overall i liked it, but I feel a bit aprehensive about certain things, especially after seeing opinions on twt. I knew izuku would most likely give up ofa at the end of the series, so im sad about it (dont get me wrong, izuku giving up ofa of all things so he can save tomura is beautiful,,,,, but im just a big fan of izuku with ofa and everything that it means 😭 i want him to keep his haunted quirk and ofamily). But then on twt everyone was so hyped up and talking about izuku getting New Order.. which left me confused not gonna lie, bc other than Star pointing at something, I didn't get any idea of Izuku getting her quirk. But again, my reading analysis could be in the mud lol. Some say Aura Might is gonna give up his place for Star in ofa, or afo is joining the fight with his trump card, others say the quirk will spread to class 1A, so when izuku opens the vault door, the vestiges of 1A will help him. I have no idea, anything is possible i suppose. As for izuku, while I think at some point he will give up ofa, I think he might hesitate at first (??) Like toshinori, he connects his worth to having a quirk, so emotionally speaking it won't be easy for him in my opinion. But let's see!

I'm gonna be a bit mean for a second and say that "Izuku getting New Order" and "Class 1A shares OFA (Monoma Neito found dead in Miami)" are by far my least favorite fandom theories lmfao.

Anyway, you're definitely right on the money about this also being a battle Re: Izuku's own self perception and who he is without OFA. Izuku and Tomura's biggest hang ups boil down to how they both perceive themselves and how that perception was essentially forced onto both of them by other people until they both internalized it as "fundamentally true" (Izuku believing that he's worthless/useless, Tomura believing that he's evil and that he's having a ~peachy-keen~ time rn). Chapter 412/413 have set the stage for this conflict to finally come to the forefront, so I'm excited to see where things go.

As for Star, people who believe her quirk is "the will of heroism that's gonna get passed on to Izuku" are missing the point of her character, I feel. Star's quirk was cool, but it was also another shining example of a quirk "not being what makes someone an actual hero"-- Star used her quirk to do some pretty fucked up things during her fight with TomurAFO, and ultimately, the moments where she chose NOT to use her quirk and chose NOT to prioritize "the greater good" over everything else are actually her defining heroic moments:

(^ the implication of this scene being that her vestige stopped short of obliterating AFO because she found Tenko hidden inside him)

Izuku has already inherited "the will of heroism" as Star defines it. The will of heroism is more or less "noticing that someone needs help and choosing to act on it." There is beauty in simplicity and trying to work "Izuku obtaining new order" into the mix takes the focus away from that, I feel. Star notices Tenko needs help, and instead of using the last embers of her existence to extinguish AFO, she instead uses those embers to reach out to Toshi and point out where Tenko has hidden himself. Toshi alerts Kudou, who then decides to place his faith in Izuku's ability to save Tomura's heart, and so on and so forth.

(A certain someone else also inherited that will, but he's just being a massive fucking tsundere about it. Can't wait for someone to finally call his ass out when the inevitable mind-meld happens.) (/hj)

Anyway, I feel u regarding the OFA vestiges-- but at the same time, I think it's good that they're finally being allowed some autonomy in how they choose to go out considering how they lived/died in the first place. I still maintain that we're gonna end up whittling OFA down to Yoichi, Toshi, and Nana bc they're the three most deeply connected to Tomura (in addition to having the most unresolved feelings and lingering regrets centered around Tomura/AFO). I also think it's pretty neat how "One for All" is now coming apart at the seams because they're starting to work together for "the one" rather than the "all," if you catch my drift ;)

#mha spoilers #thank you for the ask!#sophie.txt

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ahiddenpath · 20 days

Text

Writing News

You might have noticed that I launched a new fic recently called Infinite Possibilities! I think it's really interesting, and not the sort of fic I see often. It's (what I hope is) a realistic look at the difficulties of digimon living on earth as more people find their digimon partners and have access to the Digital World via their digivices, from several perspectives (Chosen, partner digimon, non-Chosen, non-partner digimon, the Bureau, Yggdrasil, Homeostatis, etc). The setting is canon in the Adventure world, but of course my thoughts on the topic are speculative/head canon. The fic opens before the events of Kizuna, so most of the Chosen are college age.

That's the big thing, but I have a lot more details and thoughts about the future of my fics beneath the cut.

I've been talking lately about being unsure of sharing my work, due to various threats (AI, stolen content, book binding of fanworks, etc) accompanied by a general decrease in engagement across social media in general, and especially in old fandoms like digimon specifically.

I still feel that way, frankly. But I have also noticed that if I don't share my fandom work, I tweak it forever. I can only grow as writer if I practice producing finished works; fussily editing a few chapters indefinitely won't teach me a damned thing.

So, I will be sharing Infinite Possibilities, and probably trying to complete my other open fics, too. There may be some changes, though. For example, I will not be drawing art routinely for IP (it may happen sometimes if I get the urge, but it won't be a chapter expectation). I will also shift to using screen grabs from Tri to promote Tri: Integrity Lens when I post for that, and only drawing if I really want to, rather than using the art as a mandatory promotional tool.

Future fics

Currently, my plan is to not launch any more longfics. I can't say at this time if that means forever or until I complete one or two longfics. It will likely take me a few years to knock out my open longfics, so it's better not to speculate that far out.

I may, however, launch the occasional oneshot or short fic. I actually have a short fic (about 3-5 chapters) in the works right now. It's an explicit sex story, and it's a bit chaotic. It explores various sexualities and lifestyles in a safe, accepting, patient environment. I'd have to say that it's... definitely the most, just, blatantly sexy thing I've written.

Here is the status of my current open fics and my plans for them:

Puits d'Amour

I've been struggling for months with the next art for Puits d'Amour, and I don't want art struggles to hold me back from completing my writing. I will eventually share the next chapter of PdA, and the half chapter that exists after that (I am unsure if I will add more to it or just post a shorter chapter). After that, there is no more existing content, so there will be a pause as I figure out my next steps.

Tri: Integrity Lens

I am going to cut down on artwork and utilize more screenshots. There are currently about three chapters written that could be published without too much intensive effort, so I imagine you will see these after I post the remaining PdA chapters. They're quite good/exciting/interesting, too!

After those are shared, I will need to sit down and figure out what gets worked on next.

Four Years

There is no material waiting in the wings for this one. I still need to sit down and plan how I will handle the rest of the story. I would also like to get back into editing the old chapters, and hopefully book binding the edited version.

I've never done art for this fic, and it's going to stay that way, with wiggle room for an occasional "I must draw this!".

Infinite Possibilities

Currently has about 10 written chapters waiting, but I do need to add in scenes, so they aren't "ready to go." Most upcoming updates will be for this fic until I get through the existing material. I will be using the commissioned cover art when I announce new chapters, so art won't slow me down, although I may draw on occasion if I really want to show you something.

Practice

This is the current title for my sexy fic, but I am hoping to come up with something better. I could start sharing it soon, but I'd like to finish the whole piece and use that to cover about two months' worth of updates, while I work on other fics. No art for this one, except maybe a cover piece.

#digimon #digific #digimon fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #digimon adventure #digimon fanfic

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gateway-2000 · 1 year

Note

Hey there! I see that you're self rbing that horse island 3 post a lot and it got me curious because it's the kind of game that's right up my alley; I used to play a lot of games like this when I was younger and the nostalgia is drawing me for sure, but if I just had a couple questions about your experiences with it.

On their site rules they have some statements that are giving me some red flags, like the fact that they ban LGBT content, and I did some digging and found some old discussions from a few years back about the gamerunners being like, right wing weirdos and stuff. The rules also look... very out of date, so it's possible they're mostly irrelevant. I guess I was just wondering what your experience was and if the game still had this kind of nasty vibe? If like, the mods are hands off nowadays (or changed hands recently) and the player base is cool that's reassuring to me and I might still give it a try–I just want to know before I sink some time into it just to get banned for like, having my pronouns somewhere on my account lmfao. Every personal account I'm seeing of this game is a few years out of date, so I don't really know how to judge it.

Sorry for the long ask lol TDLR is HI3 cool now?

hi there!

i've been playing for about 3 years now and i haven't really noticed much of that in-game! granted, i don't talk about or express a lot of queer stuff in the game, mostly because the game has a pretty relaxed environment and i don't really talk about irl stuff in there. i mostly just hop on to catch horses, run around and collect stuff and then log off. it's great for turning my brain off which i struggle to do

i'm autistic and have a lot of passion for horses so that honestly explains why my brain latches on to it so much despite it not being 'perfect' i guess one would say

i wouldn't necessarily say that the game is "cool" about queer stuff because they lump that into their "don't talk about real life stuff because it's stressful" policy. that's basically what it is is they just don't want people to argue or fight over things or have conversations that would or could be stressful to some. they enforce keeping the conversation on topic to the game, or very light banter. i don't know if they'll ban or remove your conversation if you say "happy pride month!" for example, but in general they just prefer if you keep conversation on topic to the game

the only thing i was annoyed with is they refused to remove the g slur from the [g slur] vanner horse breed, but that was due to the fact that most horse owners wouldn't recognize the breed/that's still what the breed is officially called so :\ i disagree with this 100000%. it's a damn slur it shouldn't be in a family friendly game

but other than that like. idk it's chill. it's hard to find games that are 100% good about things like that. you won't get banned or anything like that as far as i know for being queer! i think a lot of the posts and articles that were written were either outdated or were heavily over sensationalized because i've been playing since 2020 and overall the game is one of the most relaxing games i've ever played. you really do just collect horses and pick flowers and do little puzzles. it's great

hope that makes sense! if you do decide to join lmk, i can send some free horses, tack, etc!

#asks #answers

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thessalian · 4 months

Text

Thess vs AI

So, the SAG-AFTRA deal with Replica.

I posted a link about this yesterday, and reblogged several more, but it's something that's massively on my mind. Mostly because it frustrates the hell out of me on so many levels.

Like, this came up in one of the subreddits I follow, and there was this one guy there going on and on and on about how he wanted this exact thing - he wanted to buy voices like art assets because he couldn't afford to hire voice actors and wanted to "realise his dream". And obviously he didn't want to turn around to uni students who might do it for a portfolio reel, some pizza and a promise of a cut of the profits (if any, because seriously, like fuck is this dude's asset-flip bullshit going to sell to any massive degree); he wanted real actors ... except not, because you're not getting real acting out of a computer. (And I'll go back to that point in a minute.)

But ... I have stories that I'd love to turn into games. Thing is, though? If I can't afford actual actors to voice this shit, I will do without voices! A lot of games have done that and done pretty damn well, all things considered! Hell, Dredge has, like, two or three acknowledging noises and the entire rest of the thing is text only. Being able to work within your resource limits to create something wonderful is just ... how you do it, when you're being creative. Everything from movies to cookery demonstrate to us time and time again. So expecting to be able to buy someone's voice off a virtual shelf and plug it into your game just because you can't "realise your vision" without a voice actor voicing a thing? That's just cheap cop-out bullshit.

Going back to the point about real acting - it really grinds my gears that voice actors aren't actually considered actors by a depressing percentage of people. Like, again we have Reddit (sometimes I have to see what the non-Tumblr version of the internet looks like so I can cozy back up into my blanket fort and be glad I curate my online experience so well) going, "There are only just a very few voice actors, right?" when stating how this is fine because it's not going to affect that many people. Which ... dude. There are only a few famous ones that you know about. There are a surprising number of people who make their livings doing "additional voices" in video games and three lines of "shop clerk" or "third soldier from the left" in Western cartoons and anime dubs. It's the same problem actors have - so many people think that the only actors that exist are the really famous ones, not the ones who are doing whatever bit parts they can to pay rent and hopefully find a line on a better role at some point.

Also ... I guess it's a bit like how too many people don't consider actors who are predominantly in sci-fi, fantasy, horror, anything that isn't "serious cinema" as "real actors". When I personally respect those actors an awful lot. I'm sorry - you've got people expressing a mix of fear and defiant rage while staring at the fucking tennis ball standing in for the big-ass demon they won't see until the final cut of the movie. How can you not give that props? Similarly, voice actors are giving those performances to a blank wall. To use our most recent epic example, you've got Astarion giving those lines - everything from debonair malice to barely-controlled terror-pleading to pure trust and gratitude - to a wall. In a little soundproof room. He made up all that - everything he needed to - in his head, and he gave those lines, and it was epic.

A computer cannot do that. I've heard some of Replica's AI voices. Gods, they're awful. Maybe - maybe - you could get that shit for "reactive NPCs" (although I'd personally hate that; even if it was done right, it feels creepy ... and I get a kick out of wandering around a major city covered in blood and nobody appearing to notice, thanks), but it'd still be awful. And you couldn't do it with main characters. Or if you did (and you know some of these awful companies would try), it'd be just awful. We're a long way away from a nuanced performance from a computer.

I respect artists because of the work they put in. Hell, I'm one of them. I see the phrase "AI DM" (yes, one of D&D Beyond's things was talking about a VTT with the potential for an AI DM), and I shudder because ... have they met a D&D group? Ever? At all? How could an AI determine "rule of cool"? Just ... ugh. The idea of an AI scripting TV shows or writing novels ... as a writer, it makes me sick. And actors? They hardly get any respect as it is unless they're some of the big names who do Serious Cinema (or make a hell of a lot of money); this is just shitting all over them even worse. What happens to the next generation of voice actors if greedy-ass corporations give the little roles that most VAs cut their proverbial teeth on to a fucking computer?

I hate it. I keep saying - the whole thing about automation was that it was supposed to let machines do the grunt-work while humans created art, and now it's the other way around as art is considered "just another saleable commodity". So ... maybe it's not that video games stopped being considered art, as I was thinking awhile ago. Maybe it's just that art itself stopped being art, because the money-makers are chewing it up into one big spitball of off-grey blech and throwing it at a wall.

#Thess vs AI #Yeah this is gonna be a thing now

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ace-disaster-weeb · 5 months

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A few of the many genres of characters I've encountered over the years (some overlap included)

Favorite characters

Exactly what it sounds like. Of everyone in this piece of media, this character or group of characters is my blorbo. A couple of my favorite characters are Gohan from Dragon Ball and Kakashi from Naruto.

Comfort characters

As the name suggests, these are the characters that I go to for comfort. A lot of people seem to view their comfort characters romantically, but with exceptions, I tend to view them in a more familial way. A couple of these characters are Chihiro Fujisaki from Danganronpa and Vivi from Final Fantasy 9.

Crushes

It might be an asexuality thing, but I've only really had 4 characters that I would say I've had a real crush on. Said characters, in order of when I was into them, are Machine Ghost from Skylanders, Geno Sans from the Undertale AU Aftertale, Sakura Ogami from Danganronpa, and Xiao from Genshin Impact. That being said, though, I have definitely noticed a couple types...

You're attractive, but...

Characters that I DO think are attractive, but don't consider full-on crushes. Seems to include about 7 of every 10 twinks with baggage and about 9 of every 10 women with muscles.

Squishes

Basically a platonic crush. For some reason or another, I want this character to be my friend. The first example I can think of right now is Itto from Genshin Impact.

Love-hate relationship

I have a lot of thoughts on this character. I don't exactly dislike them, but I'm not always a big fan of them either. Ultimately, I want good things for characters in this category, but I'm also really tired of their BS. Examples include Nagito Komaeda from Danganronpa, Childe from Genshin Impact, and most iterations of Karai.

GO TO THERAPY OH MY GOD

This character has been through a lot of horrible shit, and therefore, I am deeply concerned about their mental and emotional well-being. Oftentimes, this character will show strong signs of PTSD or some other trauma-induced disorder, but the writers usually won't get that deep into it. Examples include Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy 7, Last Ronin Mikey, and honestly, about half the cast of Danganronpa.

Fight me @ Dennys

Characters I would not hesitate to throw hands with in a Dennys parking lot at 3 AM, typically on sight. I always hate these characters, but I also feel like I could take them in hand-to-hand combat. Examples include Tsumugi Shirogane from Danganronpa and Heather Duke from Heathers.

I want to study you

Exact traits may vary, but for some reason, this is always a male character whose morality ranges from kinda ambiguous to straight-up evil that I might or might not actually like, but definitely want to study under a microscope. Sometimes (the Oni from Dead By Daylight), I just find the character interesting; sometimes (Kokichi Oma), their actions played a large role in the plot, and I want to understand the character better because of that. And sometimes (Hiroto from The Last Ronin), it's a case of, "You are a horrible person and I really don't like you, but GOD DAMN IT, that's literally the best villain monolog scene I've ever read."

Childhood friends

I loved the media these characters are from as a young child, so when I go to that same piece of media now, it feels a little bit like hanging out with an old friend. Examples include Spyro the Dragon and most good-aligned TMNT characters, especially the Turtles themselves.

ADOPT ME PLEASE

Usually directed at groups of characters rather than just 1. Basically, I want to be part of whatever family unit these characters are part of. Yes, found families are included with this. Examples include the Dreemurr family from Undertale, the Chain from Linked Universe (more specifically Time, and by proxy Malon), and Aizawa from MHA.

PROTECC DA CHILD

This is a child character that has probably been through some shit (though not always). Regardless, I feel very protective of this character. Examples include, but are not limited to, Eri from MHA, Marlene and Denzel from Final Fantasy 7, and all of the Warriors of Hope except for Monaca.

Give me the adoption papers STAT

I want to adopt this character as my own. Oddly enough, the only human character in this category is Gonta Gokuhara from Danganronpa. The rest are various animals and fantasy creatures.

The "Adopt, Don't Shop" PSA

An escaped lab experiment that I want to befriend. The name of this category is inspired by a post I made a while ago. Examples include Shadow the Hedgehog, Izuru Kamakura, and Mewtwo, among other, debatably less edgy characters.

Sleep paralysis demon

Something about this character deeply unsettles me. Maybe they just look creepy (Sonic.EXE), maybe it's something they did (Junko Enoshima), maybe it's something I associate them with (2012 Shredder). Either way, this character represents bad things in my mind somehow.

Blorbo by association

I really like this character. This character also reminds me very much of another character I like from a different piece of media. That other character is probably dead. I'm pretty sure these things are all connected. Examples include Razor from Genshin Impact and Eri from Pokémon.

HONORABLE MENTION: stray cats

I can't tell if I want this character as a friend or if I feel bonded to them like a stray cat who can't be adopted separately. The only character in general I feel this for is Future Trunks, but it's a specific enough emotion that I felt like it was worth mentioning.

#fictional characters #character tropes #i guess #in a weird way

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vispero · 2 years

Text

So, about previous Genshin and Luckae or Kaeluc ship.

I need to clarify some things. (Also don't mind mistakes, English isn't my first language.)

To me fictional content isn't some "example" you should follow irl. It's more about experiencing something you actually -can't- do irl. And as far as you not doing something bad/illegal, you free to like, create and enjoy any character and ships. There is actual laws about content which is allowed or now, and if someone just don't like something but it's allowed by site rules, then by no means anyone should blame, troll or hate people who create -allowed- content. Block button is a thing and it's better to use it than make "fandom" "hatedom".

All my life I was playing games, mostly Jrpg (final fantasy, tales of etc.). And in my childhood translations usually was bad or awful :') Years later I finally was able to check original scripts and yep, there was a lot of "new" facts. So even now, while I playing with Japanese audio and English or other subtitles, I often compare what I hear and what I see, and there sadly a ton of differences, some major, some minor (same goes about just text without audio, and it's more difficult to compare sadly). Should localisation team change facts to make it more appealing for their audience? Idk, honestly. To me original script and ideas always come first and translations and adaptations second, it shows what authors meant initially and I'm here for that. But even if someone prefer translations/localisations, then they shouldn't be arrogant and going so far as telling that only their opinion valid while ignoring Original (in Genshin case - Chinese) version and it's enjoyers.

Now about Kaeya and Diluc. I didn't know anything about them when I started playing. And after some of first quests I actually catched myself thinking "Damn, there is so nice chemistry there, I'm all here for that!" Muuuch later piece by piece I learned about their story. I also found post about Chinese version about their relationship, it was really educational. (I need to clarify that incest isn't my cup of tea, I'm not judging or anything, just not my thing. Idk if I'm bad person because of that but honestly I don't think I should tell anyone what they should like/ship. Also see 1th paragraph.) But in Kaeya and Diluc case I don't see them as actual brothers, adoptive or not. There is more interesting and complicated situation and I'm here for that, I like difficult relationships in media. And if Chinese players explained about "sworn brothers" trope, then it's clear why Genshin creators went with it. Western fandom can accept it or not because of English translation, but they honestly shouldn't force their opinion on those who don't see them as actual brothers. I don't think it's that hard?

I'm not really caring about what some people think about me online. I'm not drawing anything shocking (I hope xD), so people can like or don't like my opinion/artworks, but it's more about preferences than anything else. Most of my works very SFW or with some R rating (because of blood/dark theme), but I strongly support all artists and writers, sfw of nsfw.

And yep, I ship Diluc and Kaeya. In more Chinese trope style (perspective), so if someone don't like it just ignore me. I'm really glad I found this ship, they have complicated and dramatic story and I'm here for that. So "Hi" to all fellow shippers <3

P.S. I'm more Luckae person but you probably won't notice it in my artworks, they mostly G-PG13 anyway.

#genshin impact #luckae #kaeluc

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sixthwater · 2 years

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Just a short piece but this scene reminds me a little bit of the difference between someone who simply has a planet within the first house and someone who has it as their chart ruler / dominated by it.

The difference is that the person who holds the planet within their first house has a bit more trouble adjusting to it's influence. It tints their view of reality while also giving outsiders a blocked view of them. It gives them a slightly immature mentality compared to the other when dealing with life, because they can't process this energy as fluidly.

Here, Morpheus/Dream (the one in black) would be someone who simply holds a planet within their first. Depending on the planet here, the effects are either immediately seen or take a bit longer to come to light. Venus for example; it starts off extremely beneficial. The native will usually have a celebratory approach to most things, and others will see the native as beautiful in their eyes (because beauty is subjective). However as time goes on, the native might start to doubt a lot of people's motives, or compliments, and overindulge to make up for a lack of, for them, authenticity in their lives. So they grow to resent that first house Venusian influence, but it's constantly enforced on them and their view of the world, so someone may grow to see people as superficial, moments to be short-lived, and life as a Ke$ha hit single. Whereas Saturn will hit the native immediately. They see the world from a bleaker point of view and feel like they're constantly getting beat on. Others will view them as someone who is quite serious or damn near boring, but who can take whatever shitty thing is said to them, so they won't think twice before insulting them because the native "can handle it". This in turn makes the native become their own worst enemy because it makes them believe they should be completely hard on themselves with no reward when that's not the case, but they feel like that's a true reality. So on and so forth etcetc--

Gault would be representative of someone who is holding that chart ruler, or the dominance. There is an understanding of the benefits and detriments of that planet, but how it can help us grow, learn, and become stronger people while we walk this earth. I am not going to spoil the story but just know that I love her but I think her 'arc' is a great visual of someone who was dealt a malefic, and learns how to deal with it as they grow. Let's choose Moon, very fitting for the show. Gault's chart ruler would be the Moon, so on top of wherever it resides in their chart, all of the topics related to that planet itself are always making itself prevalent in their life. Then whatever planets are aspecting their moon as well, are going to give it a run for it's money! Let's hope it is because god if it's unaspected. All of that, are constantly running the show in Gault's life because everything in their chart answer to their moon at the end of the day, or it's the loudest thing they will notice. So having to grow up and deal with a planet regarding your emotions, family, roots--aspecting god knows what and having to figure out how to deal with that--and then let's hope the rest of your chart is compatible with what it's doing and is okay with that planet as well-----You will slowly start to understand the lessons it wants to teach you and begin to understand that this is a process. You don't have to be trapped in a cage because you can mold this into what you need to, and you can rely on other things in your chart to help you, and strengthen whatever resources you have. You can change however you need to. You are learning as you go.

The main difference here is that:

Chart Rulers / Dominance: deals with it constantly, therefore they have time to grow and fully understand how it's operating and separate it from it's deeply set negative connotations

1H Placements: only deals with that planet subconsciously or when others inflict their perspective onto the person. So it doesn't give them as much patience with the planet and gives more leeway for the native to grow resentment or act out to protect themselves from that placement

#astrology #the sandman #astro observations #first house #1st house #chart ruler #planet dominance #mygalaxypost #there was no planning for this post i really binged the entire series yesterday #saw this scene and went :thinking:#and made this in one sitting #and no there is no readmore bc trust me lmao #the next post is going to be a novel :)#astrofic

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maigo-san · 1 year

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hi zig!! can i ask ❤️💭 and 💣 for the ask game? (((o(*°▽°*)o)))

hi leafie!!! Sorry for the late reply, I just got on my tumblr tonight since my touch screen is a bit of a mess lol

I've answered ❤️ and 💣 here, so I'm gonna repost the answers here, answer 💭 and one that I haven't answered which is ☀️!

❤️ - what are your favorite kind of RenTan stories? (Canon, Rengoku lives, modern… etc)

definitely, Rengoku Lives stories since it's just the default. It's so fun to fiddle with it. Maybe it's because of the time period or the fact that it's directly from gtg's ideas, it just hits harder. But I've been really liking stories where one or both of them are mystical beings, whether it's the konpon au, dragon tan, fox scholar kyou~ I can't choose, they're all so gooood

💣 - share your most controversial RenTan take. Set your thoughts ablaze!!

BHAHAHA WHYYYYY

Kyoujurou has a fat ass!

jk.

I honestly don't know~ maybe one of the reasons I'm die-hard for rntn out of all of my ships is because I tolerate most headcanon lmfao even the darkest or dead dovey... idk. I wrote and made some questionable stuff myself so usually, if there's an au or trope I can't get behind, it's just how the author/artist executes it and if I have the energy, I'll try it with my own version. I get to make something I like and rntn gets more content

Like for example, I think Kyoujurou is not as experienced as Tanjirou just because he's older. There's barely anything he accomplished romantically or sexually around those five years gap. He's as young and awkward as Tan. But I can see why people would think that. He's adored by so many people. But so was Tanjirou and I feel, if Tanjirou becomes a charcoal burner for a bit longer, it could be the other way around since Kyoujurou is a bit intimidating.

Hey, maybe he learned everything just from three volumes of shunga and erotic novels!

💭 - In a world where the train ride lasted longer, what do Rengoku and Tanjiro dream of?

this is a very interesting question tbh. To make the train longer, that means Nezuko had to get out of her box way later so she didn't knock Tanjirou's forehead and cried when it bled. As for Kyoujurou, his dream did last the longest out of all of them and I know it was for the kamabokos' screen time, but I still love to speculate on what takes him so long to wake up.

I like the idea of Tanjirou noticing the uncanniness of the dream. Maybe Nezuko finally came down from picking veggies and he asked things like, "where are your nozzles?" or wondered why Nezuko's eyes looked weird (since he got used to her demon eyes). I imagine he had to live till the next day and had to go down to sell charcoal and heard whispers of villagers about a missing person and started sniffing the air for a trace of something he didn't know but he had a bad feeling about. I wanted to see him realize that he had been living with demons all his life and that slow and damning realization is enough to wake him up.

But as for Kyoujurou, I like to think that he succumbs further and deeper into his dream instead. And I feel he'll just dream about waiting.

Like somehow time stretches and no crow called him for a mission until the sky turns dark and he had to eat dinner with his family which is just filled with silence and awkwardness with Kyoujurou occasionally trying to strike up a conversation with Senjurou about school or something. His father don't usually eat with them but maybe in that particular day, Shinjurou got out of his room to join them and when Kyoujurou tried to strike up a conversation, which sadly only revolves around demon slaying, it pissed Shinjurou off and he went on ranting about Kyoujurou taking this too seriously or wondering why Kyoujurou didn't have anything else to talk about.

Someone told me Kyoujurou is the only one who has a shitty dream lol and I get it but it's more like it purposely mimics his real life not only because Enmnu won't blow his cover but aEnmu's blood demon art probably also deems it the life he "wanted". Like, to Kyoujurou it's impossible to accept a different reality. It'll be too uncanny for him and he'll wake up sooner.

But then, I'm gonna twist canon a bit, during the last scene of Mugen Train he said he remembered to tell Tanjirou to visit his family home. So as the dream continues, he started to daydream. How he wished he had a tsuguko. He wished in his bleak world, he met someone new that could maybe give a bit of color. He's grateful for his family but he said so himself, he's constantly worried about Senjurou and that he had it worse than Kyou, he really felt the family fell apart after Ruka died, and he never smiled whenever talking to Shinjurou.

Somehow he saw flashes of checkered haori like when Tan saw flashes of Nezuko's box. After dinner, he chased after that mysterious back around the very quiet and maze-like neighborhood and he still didn't see it coming. Like he still didn't realize he was under BDA attack. Cuz I think, in Enmu's logic, Tanjirou could be the "dream that he wanted". Like, maybe at first it seemed he wanted life to be the way it is, but apparently, he also has his own desire which is to meet someone new.

He might not remember Tanjirou's name or face but he had this strong feeling when he saw dream-Tanjirou and it pushes him further and further away from reality.

Maybe by the time he catches Tanjirou's shadow, the whole world crumbles because the girl finally pierced his spiritual core OR when he catches Tanjirou's shadow, he could hear Tanjirou's voice around him but not from dream Tanjirou, but from real Tanjirou who was trying to wake him up, screaming his name.

☀️ - How did you watch Mugen train for the first time? (In theaters, at home…)

Watched it at home on some illegal streaming site (I haven't installed netflix at that time yet), I don't remember much but I think I watched Mugen Train first before finishing season 1 LMAO like I literally didn't know Tanjirou that well but I respect him for the down-badness.

Anyway, that's all! Thank you for the ask, leafie!!

#zig replied #rntnvillage

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 1 year

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tws: csa, cocsa, suicidal ideation, self-blame, intrusive self harm thoughts hi mods, please call me xueyi i'm returning for some advice i was SA'd by my brother growing up & recently i think some behaviors might be due to those experiences but i'm not sure, and i just wanted to know a second opinion on it, not necessarily a professional one i think one of the hardest parts is trying to acknowledge the SA could very well have been trauma since i'm not professionally diagnosed and can't afford therapy. i constantly think that i "enjoyed" it and let him do it to me so it can't count as trauma & i only try to think of it as such because i somehow want to think i'm a victim? another thing has increased a little over the months or maybe even a year or more, i've noticed that sometimes if things don't go right my first thought can sometimes be "i should just off myself" even when it's something very minor. for the record, i don't intend to do anything risky with my life at all under no circumstances, i don't have the guts for that. but it's intriguing to me because this was not the case with me over a year or two ago. i know that's a long time, but it's seeming to be more recurring lately. for example, say i get a bad grade, do something embarrassing, i'm sure it isn't normal for my first thought to be damn i should just die. i also might see a scissor in the kitchen & randomly think what if i sliced my wrist with it, or if i hurt myself with a razor, so on. i won't act on it, but i don't keep the tools away from me either. the tools don't disturb me, the thoughts do to be accurate. can it have any link to me being SA'd? that's all i wanted to ask. have a good day

Hi xuey,

I'm so sorry about what you went through.

The thing about trauma is that we all have different psychological reactions to certain events, which is why trauma cannot be objectively quantified by the incident, but rather by how traumatized you became. So while something like SA may not result in trauma, it most certainly can, and does for many people (myself included).

If you're unsure whether or not you feel traumatized by this, I find it helpful, as someone with PTSD, to take note of how much space this takes up in your mind, body, and day-to-day life. If it bothers you to think about, if you think about it often, if you find yourself thinking about it even when you don't want to, if it evokes strong emotional responses or induces a feeling of numbness and dissociation, these are all signs that you may be dealing with trauma.

It sounds like you may be dealing with some internalized victim-blaming, wherein you tell yourself that you liked it or deserved it in some way. As someone who has dealt with (and on some level continues to deal with) this, I find it insightful to imagine your situation vicariously. Imagine that someone you love came to you and explained that they went through everything that happened to you. Would you tell them that they must've liked it, or that they let it happen so they don't have the right to feel traumatized by it? If your answer is no, now consider that this hypothetical person is you. You deserve to be treated with as much kindness as you would treat another survivor.

It's also possible that you may be dealing with some intrusive thoughts about self-harming. Some people who experience Harm OCD may resonate with this, although it doesn't necessarily mean that you are dealing with OCD. Either way, it's possible that your trauma may be related, and it's essential to take these thoughts seriously, even if you don't have immediate plans to act on them. They could be signs that you may need additional support.

It can be really hard to consider that you have trauma, and it's definitely not easy to take that first step in exploring the possibilities and opening yourself up to the chance that this is trauma for you. It can be intimidating simply to acknowledge trauma, just as it is understandably intimidating to move past the first stage of grief. There are all sorts of implications and consequences to living with trauma, and it's valid to feel scared by that. But at the same time, for your own mental health and wellbeing, it's important to begin the process of healing.

Ultimately, healing is done best with the guidance of a mental health professional such as a therapist. Just as you would go to the doctor and get a cast to heal properly, therapy can help make sure everything is in place to ensure that you recover comfortably. But it's worth mentioning that unlike the doctor, a therapist is a tool for you to help yourself.

Please know that healing takes time, and you deserve support and care as you navigate your healing journey. If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw sa #tw csa #tw cocsa #xuey #tw sh #tw self harm #tw sui

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