#which i am medicating him for

[athousandmorningss]

briefly popping up on main to ask for y'alls prayers & good energy: i found a lump on oliver's neck last night, and noted he is having a hard time swallowing. he is 16: super senior. he is my dearest and best friend. please pray for him.

#tree has worms #which i am medicating him for #as i will be surrendering him for adoption #i am trying to figure out if someone can come watch tree so i can take oli to a vet #my uber driver this morning was telling me that he is polyamorous and looking for a third with his wife #i am hanging on by a thread #i have kept the cats separate so this is not a tree related issue

[noxious-fennec]

A redraw of an old thing because exam season is the only time i get creative energy ig

#but no fr i just came home from 2 consecutive exams. like consecutive as in one after the other in 2 hours #next week is all finals and theyre all like 2 hours 1 in the morning and 1 in the afternoon like bro #whatevs tho medical update THE MEDS ARE WORKING alhamdulilallah i feel im getting way more energy :) #2 years on immunosuppressants and at least 3 months of corticosteroids which means no salt :( BUT we are getting thru it #im cooking again :') #ok enough my life is not what you're here for. idk if cbeeduo at the end of 2023 *is* but idc #i just rly missed them yk and the vibes and the place i was in plus i have fun drawing them so suck it #i hope my good cbee mutuals enjoy this love yall #my art #dsmp fanart #cranboo #ctubbo #cbeeduo #fashion notes for the cool peeps still reading is i am dying on the hill that cranboo was decked in a 70s aunt wardrobe argue with the wall #also tubbo cowboy cus. like. look at him. #will probably draw tommy next i rly miss him. nothing big as always im a doodle kinda guy at heart #anyway xoxo love yall still here <33 #fennec.art

[flowersandcandy06]

no way.......

#fun fact the file name is “meetthemedic2024LEAK-real” #which is really humorous to me 4 some reason. 12 am hours i guess lololol #flowerposting #flower art #tf2 medic #tf2 #team fortress 2 #i was gonna add something like a heavy or him but deranged too but this can work methinkies. hmm #ms paint #<-(sure ill add that too. why not)

[trifoliate-undergrowth]

It caught me off guard but there’s this exchange between Hosea and Arthur that for me happened right after the bear hunt, where Arthur suddenly says his back hurts, and Hosea gleefully says “well lie down and let me get crackin” and Arthur is like haha NOOOooooo! no thank you I am backing away from this interaction haha! the implications are killing me

1. Hosea gives back massages

2. Hosea is extremely enthusiastic

3. Said massages are terrifying for the recipients, to the point that it has become a running joke in the gang.

#red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #I. also like the idea of him actually giving a massage when needed not as a joke or intimidation tactic #but also I feel like maybe. Dutch tried to order him to give an unneeded back massage when Hosea was in the middle of something #and Hosea pinned him down and meticulously passive aggressively cracked all his joints and wrenched all his joints loose #in a medically helpful but completely unsettling way #you made me put down my goddamn book I'll give you a goddamn massage but I am leaving my bedside manner with the book #which you made me put down on the other side of camp. #Dutch got up fully relaxed and flexible. and shaking in his boots. a full hour later. #he was not allowed to opt out when he thought they were done #hosea matthews #talk to me about the ginseng and crime novel loving old man #edit: found the actual context for this it's in the notes

[houseswife]

watching an episode of house with my sister and by the 3rd time that wilson shows up she just goes “what does this guy even do. why is he here”

#I Too Am In This Episode #truly what it feels like #I remember googling ‘what is wilson’s job’ when I watched the show for the first time #because he did so little for the medical plots and even less for his own patients #he was just there to vibe #and by vibe I mean have extremely heated exchanges with house #which are complimented by a montage of them being Soft at the end of the episode #but like plot-wise he was so pointless #I love that for him #I’m referring to early season 1 btw

[abrahamvanhellsingjournal]

Entry Four: Date December 13th 1898

I managed to hire a black smith to gain the tools I needed for the dissection, or would it be a vivisection? For the creature is certainly not alive, but nor is he full dead either. Alas, I get ahead of myself, the tools I ordered arrived just this morning and I am excited to try them out on the creature, see what exactly makes it tick.

The flesh reacts oddly when cut with silver, burning and slicing at the same time, though holy water is needed in order to keep the flesh from coming back together, though it is thankfully far slower than when I was simply using steel. Still, it does have the unfortunate side effect of my laboratory smelling of burning flesh which lingers horribly. I will have to find a way to correct that, or at the very least to make certain that I take numerous showers before returning to the upper levels for it offends my Amelia's delicate senses quite fervently.

I do not mind it much, for it is but a small price to pay in order to discover Dracula's secrets such as the fact he does indeed have a beating heart, which surprises me greatly. I thought vampires would have had a still unbeating heart, yet it seems that I have been mistaken, for Dracula's is still very much beating, albeit I'm not sure if it has blood to pump or if it is merely doing it because that's what it did in life. Whatever the case may be this is a fascinating discovery and opens so many avenues for scientific theory. Does the heart beat because being undead is still a state of living? Can Dracula and subsequently other vampires be considered technically alive if this is the case?

Vampires are not warm like living beings are, and that fact cannot be more well represented than the feeling of cold blood running across my hands as I try and study the organs within. It is a strange feeling and if I closed my eyes, I would have thought it to be merely water going across my hands. The blood is colder than that of corpse, and perhaps this is the true source of the vampire's icy exterior. I have the feeling that Dracula will prove to be a very interesting study, and I may die without knowing everything. Which saddens me, but that means I still have much to learn, which likewise excites me beyond measure.

#abraham van helsing #alucard hellsing #dracula #hellsing #rp blog #speculative biology #vampire #cw medical #Victorian ethics are nearly non-existant #However Abraham's excitement is fun to write #If it weren't for the matter at hand it would be cute #As it stands I am having immense fun with this #Abraham does not see Alucard as human and thus does not treat him as such #which doesn't change much really #aside from not caring about Alucard's pain in any capacity #Which isn't malicious #It just do be how ethics were back than

[8rujaa]

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened #i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close #and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way #i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao #now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest #and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell #i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop #but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again #i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier #it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men #and i find myself unable to connect with anyone… #i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed #i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it #i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly. #i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad #i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so #i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized… #when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was #like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u #i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function. #plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized #how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone… #i went thru all that for nothing… #and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why #brain vomit

[guinevereslancelot]

most fucked up thing at my new job is there's only zero calorie sweeteners at the coffee station in the break room. three different kinds of zero calorie sweetener but no regular sugar because the assumption is that literally everyone is on a diet?

#is this because its a job dominated by women in particular??? idk #that's so weird #like sorry i can taste the difference and i prefer naturally occurring sugar from nature how is that not even an option #drinking nasty bitter af coffee bc i am So Sleepy but i refuse to use artificial sweeteners #they Do taste different and they're not even good for you im not doing that lol #also they got mad at me for telling one of the parents that we took one of the kids temperature and it was 99 and he threw up a little #when his dad came to get him yesterday and all of the other teachers were nowhere to be found #they were like tou shouldnhave had colleen do that #ma'am colleen went home before that and so did you #i should have left already too but waited bc the ratio on the playground was bad #anyway i did NOT say he had a fever i said it was 99 and to talk to the teacher inside #but the dad didnt yalk to her clearly then went home and scared the mom that he had a fever and threw up so she texted my boss freaking out #i literally just said he threw up a little and we took his temperature and it was 99 and to talk to the other teacher #which was all true and there was no one else there to tell him #anyway #apparently the person who had my job before me was a wacko who scared the parents with fake medical information or something #but that is not my fault and nobody told me that or not to tell the parents anything medical until this morning #ugh #also my supervisor is kind of a weirdo #she wanted to show everyone ~cute~ pictures of animals she has killed while hunting??? #and i said i didnt want to see #and she was like ~oh it's not dead yet in the picture~ #like okay but its dead now??? #she traps them first so its a cute little fox in a trap about to be killed 😭 #like wtfff #i know trappong predators is a reality but why take pictures like ohhh so cute then kill it #THEN show everyone the cute pictures like yeah isnt he adorable i killed him btw <3 #huh?????? #she has a bobcat tail on her keychain too she was giving it to the teachers and kids to pet like ohhh its so soft <3

[stuffedsand]

There's something interesting to be said about the opinions of different fanbases based on culture and how it affects the votes but it's late and I can't write it out too much so only one example for today: amane

Down under the cut so if it gets too long it won't affect anyone's scrollin

Also warning the tags are long on this one

- <- this indicates a new talking point

Basically I think the jp/more asian parts of the fandom tend to lean towards greater good (amane guilty to protect shidou/mahiru/fuuta because if shidous incapacitated in any way someone's dying, mahiru is prone to dying any moment, fuuta is prone to cult mindset rn). Despite my non japanese speaking ass not being able to gather direct evidence for this, I use those surrounding me (asian in asian country) as evidence; namely, how they're mostly amane guilty voters

-Now I'm not saying my personal take but the reason given for guilting her is well. As much as it will cause her more woe it's one way of guaranteeing the safety of the prison. Shidou is the only medical professional after all, and she's "completely hostile" towards him, acc to jackalope. And she doesn't need to overpower him; shes smart, and could sabotage his equipment or just like. Go for his hands to incapacitate him. I doubt he'd fight back.

-Alternatively, it's because it would cause her to fall back on believing she's right. Telling her she's forgiven with how she's acting would cause her to believe her persistance and dedication to this (harmful) mindset is what got her forgiven in the first place

-Meanwhile more western? English fanbase ig I'm not too sure of demographic, but the English speaking side tends to focus on how it affects her. Because of the belief that another guilty verdict will cause more harm to her, an innocent verdict is the obvious solution. What I've seen is the greater focus on what caused the murder over the murder itself and the effects of an innocent verdict on others and then her beliefs. A focus on the past over what she's promised to do in the present and future perhaps. Idk.

-Another reason for the difference could. Possibly be how punishment is viewed? Western countries have much more stigma over any form of punishment but in Asian countries it's normal. Now while I'd say physical punishment isn't the way to go, the refusal of punishment shouldn't be rewarded (imo) but that's all I'll say on it.

-The English fanbase also focuses a lot on how young amane is and how her circumstances were terrible and all that. Those around me tend to focus more on her thoughts around the crime, what she believes the crime was for and how in the right she thinks she is. This may also be the cause of the moral grandstanding I see so often (ie. If you vote amane guilty you're a baaad person) (I don't agree with this btw. That's stupid this is fiction don't insult others over an opinion)

What I will say is the English speaking side is more sympathetic towards amane. They (y'all?) Take her situation into a lot of consideration, and focus on her age as a large factor. Whereas those around me and I assume might be close to the views of the japanese fanbase are more objective, looking at what harm she could cause and what's the greater of the two evils, as well as what she's going to do with the verdict (ie. Use the inno verdict as her doctrines are correct and very right).

There's slight thought given to her age and circumstance of course, by it that's not the main concern rn. Given the current situation, most of my milgram voting friends stay certain that an innocent verdict will not end well, hence the guilty vote. I mean I have a couple friends that feel bad for guiltying her because of her circumstance, but do it anyway cuz it's for the better. My opinion is that she should've been innocent trial one, since we wouldn't have known the concequences, but it's too late now and an innocent will cause more harm overall

tldr asian fanbase from experience focus on the crime itself + what they're gonna do with that experience whereas eng speaking fanbase focus on the circumstances surrounding the crime and on judging only the crime

In myyy opinion. Judging only the crime based on your interpretation isn't how the system should be working, it should take into consideration the prisoners' attitudes and how the prisoner perceives the crime as well.

I hope this was coherent I typed it out at 11pm and went to bed immediately after and I've barely edited anything cuz awake me is less coherent than half asleep me

Also hope this was an interesting post? This topic is interesting to me but I explain better in speaking over typing so it's probably hard to read but I hope this topic scritches y'all's brains like it does mine :)

#milgram #amane momose #inder the cut to save space kekw #sorry if this post feels like im calling yall lab rats cuz i kinda am #treating the milgram tag like a giant social studies exam (i have not passed social studies this year) #ive done my beat to compare bur i lost half my thoughts while typing this out last night whoops #ive also done my best to be comprehensible but i have too many thoughts at the same time for that #alsp for the record im an amane neutral voter (i dont vote) #j have another point on the age thing about how while eng side takes young age into consideration #it also overstates the maturity of our older prisoners (shidou namely #as ive seen people say that medical guilt theory doesnt work cuz of how extreme his guilt is #of which belongs to a different post but basically dude hes only 29 thats not that old. also to lose everything at any age is devastating #moral grandstanding point may be more indicative of internet culture overall btw but i cant get data on that for jp fans #sorry for being incomrpehensible i jusy talk like this #also very important no insulting anyone in rbs. even if its not me. thats rude #long post #i have a great disdain for people who claim amane guilty voters are evil btw. respect others online ffs #anyways next post will be about shidou and theories around him #specifically my hatred for the organ harvesting theory and my proposed alternate theories #but rhat will be the next time im tired and insane #im also posting this relatively unedited so i dont chicken out 💥 im trusting yall

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

has it hit yuuta yet that if megumi is gojo’s kid then he is kind of megumi’s extremely distant uncle? Bet he’d reach for that to explain away his extremely normal protective attachment

#seaglassgardens

Not really, because he doesn’t consciously think of himself as gojo’s relative. Like, he’s aware that he is gojos super distant relative but the connection is so attenuated that he’s not really thinking of gojo as an actual part of his family, so it hasn’t hit him. But he would take literally any explanation to justify his extremely normal protective attachment to Megumi at this point

#sea glass gardens #Yuuta not normal: I’m so normal right now I’m so normal #he really is having the worlds quietest panic attack right now #he’s AWARE that he shouldn’t be feeling this way and he is absolutely helpless to stop it #I can’t remember if I’ve already posted about this but Yuuta’s awareness that this isn’t normal and the fact that he’s still feeling it #anyway is based on me when I got a super bad head injury #like the underlying cause is different but the experience is somewhat the same #I lost total emotional control #I’m like a pretty chill person who doesn’t cry or get angry easily right #I got a horrible concussion and then suddenly I would break down sobbing at the slightest issue #I would react to my alarm or any loud noises with violence #and the entire time I would be internally like ‘wtf why am I doing this this isn’t like me at all’ and still couldn’t stop it #it’s actually a bit jarring and scary to lose control that way #which is what Yuuta’s experiencing right now #he knows that this isn’t like him and he shouldnt be reacting the way that he is but he can’t /stop/ it #and it’s not his fault like he’s experiencing a magical medical issue or whatever but it’s still a very visceral loss of control #that can be kind of embarrassing

[sonego]

gonna get personal in the tags sorryyyyy

shit i ran out of tags to use GKBKGKDKKDBJDMBMN ok rest under a read more 😭

so okay basically my doctor said sure i'll write you the prescription and also wait should i add it to your regularly taken meds page (so i can request it with a click when i run out)? and i was like yeah that'd be nice and i tried to explain that i thought i would only need for a short period of time but i still need it after many months so... but like he didn't care about the why lol

and anyway now that this has happened i'm like. gonna try to Stop doing what i was doing. there is no good reason to be in pain all the time and make my life harder when taking that dose of my med was working okay and making things considerably better. i don't need to punish myself. this is like so so so hard for me to internalize. being disabled is not a fault. even if it might be my "fault", even if i lowkey feel like i might have contributed to the condition i am in with like, bad choices or whatever, it's still not right to punish myself for it. i'm already unwell, i'm already suffering, what's making it worse gonna do to help? why do i need to feel worse just so i can think i got what i deserve for being in pain in the first place?

so yeah. going back to the higher dose. i hope that makes me feel less pain. i hope i can work without hating every second of it again. i do still hope one day i can get better and not need this med anymore, it's not like i've given up on that bc tbh a lot's still unclear and i will try and see if i can find answers. but in the meantime, no more punishing myself. i need to be okay. i want to be okay.

#called my doctor the other day #bc i needed the prescription for the muscle relaxant i take for my back pain #and i've been needing it for like a while but i kept putting off calling him to get it #there's a few reasons for that one of which is that i hate phone calls in general but especially w doctors #just makes me v v anxious #which is related to another reason which is that i was so scared he'd tell me no bc this was was supposed to be a temporary “fix” #like a little help while i actually got better #which clearly hasn't happened so i still need it but like. i am so used to doctors trying to like decide what i need #not based on my symptoms and needs and what i tell them but just what they think i SHOULD need #bc i SHOULDN'T feel pain i SHOULDN'T need to take that i should just idk excercise and lose weight and try not to be s*icidal and try to #control my moods and oh i shouldn't have headaches almost daily cause they found no medical reason for it #also have i tried sleeping more? have i tried not having insomnia? have i tried smaller doses of x med? #etc etc it's never what i AM experiencing it's what i SHOULD be experiencing. and let me tell you that sucks so bad #my previous gp ruined me so bad and i'm only now realizing it #like every time i need to tell or ask my current gp something i get so anxious bc i'm convinced he'll put up a fight and say no without #listening or he'll write me the wrong prescription or he won't even answer my calls ........... #instead this gp is the opposite #maybe even like. too easily says yes lmao 😭 like i try to talk things thru w him a bit to explain why i need x and he'll just be like #yeah sure here it is and sometimes i feel he's not even listening 🧍🏻 #but anyway like. i was kinda punishing myself i think? #i keep trying to lower my dose of muscle relaxant bc i think i shouldn't need it #and i don't want to need it i actually HATE that i need it. it makes me so mad w myself #so i keep trying even if every time i take less i am in so much pain #and these past couple of weeks? or something i did that even more bc i tried to lower it EVEN MORE #even if the 5th attempt to lower it a bit was unsuccessful and i was doing so badly #bc i was running out and i was killing two birds with one stone by trying to lower it so i would be a Better Stronger Nico #and was delaying having to call my doctor #end result: i wanna cry every time i stop (workiny #working* or studying or giffing or doing Whatever) #bc i'm forced to think of the fact i am in pain

[transingthoseformers]

I Am Back with more medic!Breakdown thoughts

#like. just think about it more #think about him being the field medic and Knockout being the CMO for on the Nemesis #... i am sliding this into the broadwings universe #which admittedly is mostly just a bunch of character designs and possible dynamics #but some aspects sound like they'd be super funny like having around 8 stunticons #i counted it's 8 #... unless tfwiki can give me more? that would be funny? #i am learning the names Offroad and Blackjack_ and i am considering them. #now you may ask why I'm trying to maximize the amount of stunticons? i have my reasons and it's not only for chaos (most of it is though) #maccadam #transformers #breakdown #tfp breakdown #g1 breakdown

[kaeyaphile]

all thoughts, head full of ✨aventurine✨

+ a bunch of rambling/life updates in the tags, oops

#kayleigh.txt #y’all i seriously cannot stop thinking about this lil’ pixelated man 🫠 #i officially have everything to fully level and max him and his lightcone and his traces 👏🏻 #only e0s1 of course; i’m broke af 😅 #hopefully for his rerun i can get some eidolons but alas not this time unfortunately 💔 #he’s literally on the same level as kaeya in my heart; favorite hsr character for sure #(jing yuan has been demoted to my second favorite now because i am a silly goose) #i honestly never thought i’d be so adoring of hoyoverse characters but... here we are 🤷🏼‍♀️ #actual legitimate feelings for real people??? ❎ #actual legitimate feelings for fictional characters??? ✅ #aNYWAYS the brainrot is really bad y’all and i apologize that my entire personality has been taken over by this man 🤡 #i wish that i had an income right now so that i could commission some self–indulgent selfship art but alas 😩 #once my irl bestie’s wedding and honeymoon is over on may 10th i will be going back to looking for a job 👌🏻 #i’ve applied to probably 50+ jobs throughout the past few months and have heard absolutely nothing back 💀 #i have given up for now; i have to get my mental health and autoimmune diseases under control first tbqh #i have a psychiatrist appointment on the 16th which i am terrified regarding but hopefully it goes well 🥲🤞🏻 #and i am going to start a new injectable medication for my autoimmune diseases asap #i have to deep clean my house and revamp my reptile enclosures before i commit to a job as well ugh #i have to actually get my shit tf together before i start legitimately looking for a job again is what i’m saying 😂

[thefloatingstone]

Is it wrong that the second time I played through ME3, when it got to the part where Joker salutes I mentally added bone cracking and breaking sound effects?

sfjksdhfkjd YES BUT ALSO

He spikes my anxiety when he does it too so... same thing I guess?

I'm really not trying to be ableist... I just don't want my boy to break for something stupid like saluting me :'(

But I also fully understand that's WHY the salute is so important. Especially to him.

He loves Shepard enough to stand up and salute her.....

And not only is that important because Joker has no respect for protocol whatsoever and thinks all the pomp and circumstance is stupid.

It's important because it is a major show of HOW MUCH he cares about her and how important she is to him.

It's important enough for someone like Joker to put in that extra effort which is a LOT harder for him than other people, just to SHOW her how much she means to him. It's his way of expressing outwardly how he feels inside. And as someone who diverts with humour and sarcasm about EVERYTHING and is the most allergic to honest emotion I have ever seen in a character... It's an expression of gravitas he struggles to show in words.

....

But also omg Joker please I love you too but don't hurt yourself I care about you too much for that!!!!

#I love Joker so much he is so important to meeeeee #I worry about him and it's rough #because on the one hand it's very not ok to treat a disabled person like they're made of glass and fret about them like this #on the other hand Joker's condition is so severe that if he were born in 2023 he would not survive past his first year #And it's only the sci fi future medical knowledge that allowed him to live #SO I AM CONCERNED WHEN HE DOES RISKY THINGS #which is most of the time #gdi Joker.... #pretty sure Shepard almost breaks his arm during the start of ME2.... #I don't think she actually does or he'd have protested harder than he does but it makes me flinch during that scene #Look I am just uncertain how delicate he is because of future sci fi bullshit #Because nobody with his level of disability would be alive in current year to help educate me...

[bbreaddog]

.

#personal #the boy had big surgery day yesterday #vet check up this morn #and then of course we had planned on going to grandparents’ house for lunch which is an hour away #I really wanted to stay home with him but I am one person and my parents are two #majority rules etc #I was supposed to call the vet this arvo to give them an update on how he’s progressing but #what update can we give if we haven’t seen him all day? #and it took so long to get mum in the car to go home after lunch bc she’s very much undiagnosed adhd #and I was trying so hard not to burst into tears from the amount of stress I’ve had the past few weeks #and now that I’m home with the boy sleeping it up after some much needed tlc #I can’t even fucking cry when I have the space to now #and somehow that feels worse #i’d just started my disability support pension claim yesterday too #and there are so many different clinics i have to catch up with in order to get all my medical evidence for this claim #and I’m so overwhelmed #I’m so overwhelmed #there’s so many things to do #there’s so many things to worry about #and the stress is not fucking good for my heart #I’m so afraid of ending back up in hospital again #i feel so out of control of my own life #i feel too young and too old at the same time #i feel like i have so many responsibilities to tend to and being completely unqualified to do so #where do i start? WHAT do i start? #life is so fucking hard #i wonder why i still want to do it #because despite all this i still do want to do it #it makes so little sense #when does it start to make sense? does it ever start to make sense at all?

[coffee-bat]

shoutout to the medic in coaltown who apparently had nothing better to do than stand behind me on the roof and kritzkrieg-über me during the wave when he was needed most

#their goals were beyond my understanding i think #like it was the 5th wave. the one where it's just a mass of demos and sollys. im just one sniper what am i supposed to do why are you- #-übering me😭 go activate the shield or at least über the heavy man #ramble #tf2 #mvm #also it was so funny like. i didn't hear him go up to me. then suddenly im being übered. ok. über passes and he's not healing me so- #-i go 'oh phew he went back down to participate' #i do my own thing #convinced i'm alone #then at some point i dodge a few rockets (still scoped) #and i just hear this little medic 'ah' behind me😭😭😭 #AND IM LIKE??? BRO YOURE STILL THERE????????? WHY THE FUCK????????? #he then dropped a second kritz über on me instead of going into battle #what were his goals why did he do this #//though ACTUAL positive shoutout to the medic in rottenburg yesterday who was giving me kritz übers like candy (which was good in this- #-instance bc i was playing solly and the waves were intense) #ngl i think they were the best medic i've played with so far. like they multitasked between healing others and did the shield- #-but also übering me as often as possible and NOT at the worst times known to man #my first non-stressful übers lmao