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prettyprettypaci2 · 3 months

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Drool - Part 2

💊 Part 1 💊

"Well someone has ants in their pants! Are you excited to have a room all to yourself?"

Your jaw would drop if it weren't already anchored open by the giant pink pacifier bobbing stupidly in your mouth. You try to catch your breath, but it isn't a simple task. The only way you can comfortably inhale is to gum the firm, rubbery shaft in a regular rhythm, suckling like a lamb as you breathe through your nose in soft, short bursts. The metronome of your squeaking and puffing is interrupted only by sporadic, thunderous slurps, when your full mouth is no longer able to accomodate the ocean of spit spilling out from under your flattened tongue. Any saliva you're unable to swallow bubbles out from behind the shield of the pacifier in a geyser of slimy drool. It glazes your cheeks and chin before draining pitifully onto the front of the tight, cloth bib wrapped around your neck.

And yet, despite the bizarre predicament you find yourself in -- uselessly pawing at your thin paper hospital gown in a pair of pink mitten restraints -- the sight of this bedroom plunges you further into the depths of astonishment.

The pastel purple accent wall is dominated by a life-sized mural of a bashful unicorn, which trots gaily along a rainbow road. A small dresser stands in the opposite corner, painted in the same cream-white and pink trim as the heavy fiberglass guardrails of the hospital-style bed. The large flatscreen television suspended from a high wall is already turned on: a cartoon bunny wearing shortalls stares down at you, singing hypnotically about his favorite letters of the alphabet. The entrance to the small bathroom -- tiled in bubblegum pink -- has no door, and is fully visible from the hallway when the room's privacy curtain is drawn open.

"Nnnngggh eehn ahhee nnggh?" You gurgle in confusion to Nurse Molly, tickling your nose with the spit bubbles that froth up behind the shield of your pacifier. This can't possibly be the room they assigned for you! What is going on here? Unable to bite your lip or scratch yourself to ease your anxiety, you stomp and shuffle awkwardly in the pink jelly sandals you had been given to wear with the matching hospital gown. You use the round, squishy toe of your right shoe to play with the jelly strap of your left, lightly skinning the back of your ankle in the process.

"Sorry, honey," Nurse Molly replies with a dismissive smile. "It'll be tough for us to have a chat during your oral treatments. Before we get you settled in, we need to do something about your fidgeting; you're going to trip and hurt yourself dancing around like that."

Nurse Molly reaches into the pocket of her pink scrubs before playfully shaking an orange cylinder of pills in front of your dripping face.

"These -- " she rattles the container again, as if teasing you with an enticing treat. " -- are a simple muscle relaxer. While our program is set up to address the root cause of your tics, medication can provide some short-term relief in the early stages of treatment. These pills might make your arms and legs feel a little funny, so it's best if you lie down for an hour or two after taking them, until we find a good dosage."

Nurse Molly walks over to the bed and releases a latch under one of the fiberglass guardrails. The chunky, solid barriers of poured white plastic fold down, granting you ingress to the elevated mattress.

You hesitate, feeling the gentle rain of spittle on your chin as you once again behold the giant unicorn on the wall. Everything about this situation feels wrong, and yet Nurse Molly's impassive assurances are filled with so much promise. You imagine the life you could be living soon: no longer afraid to speak in public, no longer drawing looks of concern from your scratching and biting, no longer annoying your peers with shaking legs or incessant tapping...

In defiance of your gut instinct, you climb up onto the bed. Nurse Molly guides you into a supine position as you struggle to gain purchase with your slippery, balled mittens. Soon, she has you on your back, staring up at the dumb cartoon as you paw nervously at the guardrails.

"Stay right there, honey," Nurse Molly retreats to the pink-tiled bathroom and you hear the sound of running water. When she returns to your side, your eyes flutter in shock. She seems to have found an enormous plastic bottle with a wide rubber nipple cap, and filled it to the brim.

"It's important to take these pills with lots of fluids. The water carries the medicine throughout your body and helps it take action more quickly," Nurse Molly explains with clinical confidence. Your lips tingle as Nurse Molly firmly grips the shield of your pacifier with a finger and thumb, sliding the silicone shaft out along the curve of your tongue like a damp carrot being plucked from the ground. You grimace as you watch a thick, cloudy rope of saliva chase the shaft of the pacifier through the air for several inches, then collapse like a heavy bridge onto the front of your soaked bib.

Despite the humilation, you take a moment to rejoice in the feeling of emptiness in your mouth. Your teeth feel strange as they involuntarily clamp down on your bottom lip -- almost like they had shifted slightly to accomodate the bulging, rubbery guest that had come to join them.

"It's worse than I thought," Nurse Molly coos with concern, holding your drool-coated chin with a gloved hand as she massages the inside of your lower lip with her thumb. "We won't be able to leave you without the oral device for long. Until I can consult with the doctor, we're going to keep it in whenever you're not eating or drinking."

"B-b-but -- " The taste of latex from Nurse Molly's gloved thumb is replaced by the slightly bitter flavor of three large pills, which begin dissolving as she drops them onto your tongue. Your stammering attempt at speech is both literally and figuratively drowned as your doting caretaker tips the plastic bottle upside-down, sliding the rubber cap between your slick, drooly lips.

"Soon, all those squirmies are going to go away," she says breezily, squeezing the bottle so that you're forced to gulp down the fountain of cold water. "You'll feel so relaxed...so calm..."

The minutes tick by slowly as Nurse Molly continues to empty the bottle down your throat. You're cognizant of the cartoon playing on the television, but the sing-song of the character voices seems to melt into the background. Your arms do feel a bit funny...and heavy...like they would struggle to lift their own weight...

By the time the bottle announces its emptiness with a few notes of airy suction, your tongue is lolling lazily in your mouth. You don't feel intoxicated, just...

...flat...and...slow...

You want to say something else before Nurse Molly eases the pacifier back into your pliant mouth, but it feels like it would take too much effort. Once again stuffed full with the bulbous shaft, you barely take notice of the pink leather strap she loops around the back of your head and through two holes in the pacifier's bobbing shield. It's now snugly secured to your suckling lips.

"We can't have it falling out if you decide to take a nap," she grins, taking a moment to wipe your chin with the saturated bib. "I'm going to go check in on some other patients. Why don't you take it easy for a bit?"

Lifting and locking the fiberglass guardrails back into place, Nurse Molly pulls the privacy curtain of your room closed before leaving you alone with the sickly sweet sing-alongs of the cartoon show. You wish she had left you with the remote so you could change the channel, but realize your dumb mittened hands couldn't work the buttons anyway. Your body seems to melt into the mattress as you're forced to listen to the cartoon rabbit's next song.

"Sometimes it's sunny and sometimes it pours!"

The muscle relaxers seem to be hitting even harder. You can barely keep your eyes open.

"When it rains outside, the puppy dog snores!"

You realize with some anxiety that you can't feel your legs anymore. The whole lower half of your body has gone limp.

"Thank you Mr. Cloud, because when we're awake,"

Something feels...warm...

"We'll dance in the puddles you're about to make!"

💊 Part 3 💊

#diaper pee #diaper training #ab dl lifestyle #diaper sissy #ab dl diaper #diaper gal #diapered247 #ab dl mommy #diaper dependent

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dilfsfordinner · 4 months

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summary- nanami kento being a girl dad

pairing- husband nanami x wife!reader

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with the growth of a child came the difficulties of their attitude, most adults making it known that they were struggling with parenting through the complaints of certain ages, like “the terrible twos”, which coincidentally, your daughter was in the current stage of.

“come here, now,” your voice was stern, all patience fizzling out of your system as you watched your little girl cross her arms indignantly, scowling at you before pointedly turning her head away.

it was nanami’s idea to use up your weekend at the beach, his optimism rubbing off on you prior to what was now a toddler’s tantrum.

“do you want me to count?” your eyebrows quirked as your daughter continued the silent treatment, hmphing in disobedience. “fine.. i’ll just tell your father.” at the mention of her dad, your baby immediately whipped toward you, her face contorting into a cry as she realized she wouldn’t get away with not listening, little feet stomping as you got up to talk to your husband who was currently preoccupied setting up a tiny, pink umbrella.

stopping with his task, nanami listened as you complained about your little girl not letting you put on sunscreen, her back apparently too sensitive to stand the cold cream. “help me, please,” you sighed, leaning your head against the bare skin of his chest, forehead resting against his collarbones.

a large hand began to rub up and down the length of your spine, comforting you, consoling you in a way that instantly had your nerves relaxing. “you sit down, i’ll deal with her,” he murmured, kissing the top of your head gently before pulling away to trek toward the pouting child in the sand only a few yards away.

the sun was already starting to beat down at only 8 o’clock in the morning, reinforcing your belief that sunscreen was indeed needed to protect your baby from sunburn or sickness. bottle in hand, nanami approached his little girl like she was a lion ready to pounce at him. she wouldn’t look at him either, braving a spanking to stand her ground.

sinking to his knees a few feet before her, nanami didn’t say anything, just opened the tube of sunblock, and began to manipulate the white lotion into a variety of different shapes. first, was a simple sun on the tan skin of his thigh. second, was a couple of flowers, trailing up the outside of his wrist and forearm. the third actually piqued the little girl’s interest, a big butterfly that was messily drawn on the expanse of his chest.

continuing his painting session, nanami concealed his smile as he heard sand begin to drag beneath what sounded strangely like knees, his peripheral vision granting him the ability to watch as his baby began to crawl toward him, big eyes zeroed in on the insect on his chest.

“daddy,” came a quiet voice beside him, nanami finally looking up from the haphazardly drawn shark on his knee to look at the curious little face of his daughter. her eyes were wide but wary as she pointed to his chest, tiny index coming up to smear the butterfly there, almost like she was testing the quality of the “paint” he had used.

“do you want to help me?” nanami asked gently, gesturing to the bottle in his hand. she tilted her head as if she actually had to ponder his question, before she was nodding excitedly, reaching for his hand in a hurried frenzy.

tsking, he pulled the bottle away quickly, his arm high above her head even while sitting. “if you help me, i get to help you too.. okay?”

nodding again, she tried and failed to reach the bottle, little eyebrows furrowing in annoyance. “pinky promise?” he asked softly, large hand coming down until only his pinky nudged the air before her. before he could pull away, her whole hand wrapped around his single finger, shaking it up and down like a giant shaking hands with an ant, he couldn’t help but laugh.

“alright, c’mere baby,” lifting her up by her waist, she set her feet on his thighs, his hands remaining wrapped around her belly to hold her upright before he deposited a puddle of sunscreen in her hand, awaiting her painting.

she certainly wasn’t gentle with it, repeatedly testing the safety limits of his face, one time almost jabbing a sunscreen-covered finger in his eye. slowly but surely, she began to smile, little giggles coming from her mouth, her reaction being enough to tell him that he didn’t even want to know what was occurring on his face.

after a couple minutes, she leaned back in his hands, her index leaving a swipe of white on the tip of his nose before she started to giggle again, “mister kitty.”

ignoring the revelation of her comment, he tickled her sides, smiling at the shrill laughter that echoed along the empty beach, drinking in the fact that his little girl was happy again, that one of her moods hadn’t ruined the day before it even started.

ruffling the fuzzy mop of hair atop her head, he kissed her forehead, “can daddy paint you now?” he asked nicely, her response giddy and quick, clapping her little hands before plopping down into the sand, back to him.

“i want a kitty too!” she practically barked, wiggling her toes in the sand to conceal her very apparent excitement.

“yes ma’am,” nanami murmered, squirting a generous amount of sunscreen in his hand before he began applying the white paste all over her back, letting his hands “accidentally” travel over her arms and legs, somehow successfully applying sunscreen to every necessary area without her noticing.

finishing up, he patted her bottom, urging her to “go show mommy” to which she complied, hurriedly clambering across the sand to jump in front of you, trying (and failing) to point at the “painting” on her back.

“isn’t he cute?” she gushed, jumping up and down, obviously referencing the cat she assumed was on her back.

looking up from your giggling child, you watched as your husband sauntered toward your position on the beach blanket, triumphant grin on his face at his accomplishment. a smile pulled at your own lips at this, not because of his success, but because of the white whiskers and nose that had been slathered across his face by the hand of the girl sitting before you, makeshift face paint making him the world’s cutest dad.

swallowing a laugh, you pulled your baby into your arms, rocking her back and forth as you watched your sun-kissed lover begin to set up that tiny umbrella once again.. strong muscles glinting in the sun heavily offset by the cute kitten makeup on his face… “he sure is.”

——————————————————————————

#i hate the word daddy now but it was better than papa cause i only ever think of stranger things with that name #nanami fluff #dad nanami #girl dad nanami #jjk x reader #jjk x fem!reader #jjk fluff #nanami x fem!reader #nanami kento fluff #nanamin

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macgyvermedical · 2 months

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Do you know how our understanding and treatment of diabetes has changed through history?

Oooh good question, anon!

As you may guess, diabetes mellitus is not new.

We've known about it since at least the Ebers Papyrus (1550 BCE) when the disease and a treatment was first described. This treatment was: "a liquid extract of bones, grain, grit, wheat, green lead and earth." I did not look these up, but I would guess they did not do a whole lot for the treatment of diabetes.

Later during the 6th century BCE it was first given a name when it was described by Hindu physician Sushruta as madhumeh or "honey urine."

Honey urine is a very apt descriptor for diabetes. In any type, one of the most measurable symptoms is that the person urinates a lot, and the urine tastes sweet (or, if one didn't feel like tasting, that it ferments, or that it attracts ants). This was also the first test for diabetes.

The reason for the sweetness of the urine (as well as a lot of other general info about diabetes) is spelled out more clearly in my "Don't Be That Guy Who Wrote Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters" post.

A Greek physician Apolonius of Memphis named it Diabetes, meaning "to siphon" (referring to the large amount of urine lost).

Roman physician Aretaeus later made the first precise description of diabetes. This included the classic symptoms of incessant thirst, copious urination, and constant hunger leading to emaciation and death. He also notes that if deprived of water, the patient will continue to urinate until they become so dehydrated that they die.

The term "Mellitus" was not added until the 1600s by an English physician Thomas Willis. This was again due to the sweetness of the expressed urine. Willis prescribed a diet of "slimy vegetables, rice, and white starch. He also suggested a milk drink which was distilled with cypress tops and egg whites, two powders (a mixture of gum arabic and gum dragant), rhubarb and cinnamon". Supposedly his patients improved if they kept to this diet, though few managed it long term. I honestly don't know how it would have worked, even temporarily.

A major breakthrough came in 1889 when it was discovered that if you removed the pancreas from a dog, the dog would become diabetic (particularly, that it would urinate large quantities of sweet urine). Up until this point it was thought that diabetes stemmed from the kidneys and bladder, or perhaps the lungs. This was the first time it had been shown experimentally that the pancreas was the problem.

Speaking of this, this was also part of a series of experiments where an English physician named Merkowski implanted a small amount of pancreas in the pancreas-less dog's fat, which reversed the diabetes temporarily. This proved that the pancreas was making something that helped regulate blood (and thus urine) sugar.

What this was wasn't figured out until 1921, when Canadian scientists Banting and Best (with help from McLeod and Collip) isolated something they called insletin (after the islets of langerhans, where the substance was being produced). It's important to note that all of these scientists hated each other so much they almost refused a Nobel Prize over it. Later, Collip would refine the substance and McLeod would rename it insulin.

Prior to insulin existing there was basically 1 vaguely useful treatment for diabetes. Unfortunately, that was starvation. So you could either die a slow and painful death by diabetes or you could die a slightly less slow but still painful death due to eating about 500 calories per day. Either way, diabetes was fatal, usually within a couple of years of diagnosis.

By 1923, the first commercial insulin product, Iletin, had been developed. Iletin was a U10 insulin (10 units per 1 milliliter- less potent than today's U100 and U500 insulins) and was made from pork pancreases. It took nearly a ton of pork pancreas to make 1oz of insulin. Fortunately, as a byproduct of the meat industry, pancreases were readily available.

Now, you might be thinking- no one has mentioned type 1 or type 2 yet in this entire post!

Well, you would be right, because diabetes wouldn't be split into 2 forms (insulin-dependent and non-insulin dependent) until 1979, and wouldn't be classified as types 1 and 2 until 1995. That's right- some of you were alive when there was only one kind of diabetes out there.

Now, there's more about the types in the Hansel and Gretel post, but essentially type 1 diabetes occurs when the pancreas itself stops producing insulin, usually in childhood. When this happens, the body stops being able to use sugar (insulin, a hormone, acts as a "key" to let sugar into cells for use). Without replacing that insulin, the person dies because their cells starve.

Type 2 diabetes occurs when the pancreas still produces insulin, but the cells stop responding to it correctly. This causes high sugar levels in the blood, which causes longer-term complications (infections, ulcers, blindness, neuropathy, heart and kidney disease, hyperosmolar syndrome, etc..) which eventually lead to death.

We started discovering oral drugs that worked on what would later become type 2 in the 1950s. Particularly those that worked by increasing the insulin output of the pancreas, but only when the pancreas was still producing some insulin.

Predicting which diabetics would benefit from oral therapies was challenging, but it was recognized that when the onset of diabetes was slow and came on in adulthood, the oral agents would work, while if it came on suddenly in childhood, the oral agents wouldn't. Terms like "adult onset" and "maturity onset" were common:

(Side note: if you have ever read Alas, Babylon (1955) there is a diabetic character who by today's standards clearly has type 1 diabetes, but wants to switch to the "new oral pill" (called "orinase" in the book, though they are likely referring to diabinese pictured above).)

From 1923 into the 1980s, insulin was given once or twice per day, and not particularly titrated to blood sugar. This was probably just because we didn't have a great way to measure blood sugar in real time. Pre-1970s, there was no way to test blood sugar outside of a lab setting.

Urine testing was common starting in the 1940s, but was cumbersome as it required a flame for heating the urine. By the 1950s, a test had been developed that didn't require a flame, but was still not practical for home use. In the 1960s, paper strips were developed that changed color for different amounts of sugar in the urine. The problem with this was that the strips couldn't change color until there was sugar in the urine- a blood sugar level of over 200 by today's measurements. Low blood sugar readings were impossible at this time, and had to be treated based on symptoms.

In the 1970s, blood sugar could finally be measured by putting a drop of blood on a test strip, wiping it off, and matching the color of the test strip to a chart. While less cumbersome than urine tests, this was still something that would generally only be done at a doctor's office.

In 1983, the first home blood glucometer is developed. Finally, it was practical to take one's sugar multiple times per day, and it becomes possible to experiment with "sliding scale" insulin injections that keep tighter control of blood sugar. By the late 90s, continuous glucose monitors became available- though unlike today's CGMs that allow readings in real time on a smartphone or monitor, these had to be downloaded to a computer at regular intervals.

The 1980s were the first decade where insulin pumps become widely available. The very first pump was large and had to be carried in a backpack, but it represented a huge step forward in glucose control, as it more closely mimicked the function of a working pancreas than once-daily injections.

For the next 30 or so years you really had to work to qualify for an insulin pump, but recently it's been found that pumps greatly improve compliance with blood glucose control whether or not the person had good compliance before getting the pumps, and insurance has gotten better about covering them (though CGMs are still a pain to get insurance to cover).

The 1980s was also the decade that recombinant human insulin (insulin made by genetically modified bacteria) was first used. Up until that point the only insulins were pork and beef insulins, which some people had allergic reactions to. Recombinant insulin was closer to regular human insulin than beef or pork, and represented a big change in how insulin was made.

Today for people who take insulin to manage their diabetes, insulin is usually given as a single injection of a long-acting basal insulin, coupled with smaller doses of ultra-short-acting insulins with meals or snacks. This is the closest we've gotten to mimicking the way a pancreas would work in the wild, and keeps very tight control of blood sugar. This can be done by fingerstick blood sugar tests and individual injections of insulin, or it can be done with a CGM and pump- it just depends on the resources available to the person and their personal preference.

#writing reference #whump reference #diabetes #insulin #hospital life #nurblr

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zoeykallus · 2 years

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Gregor x Reader One-Shot – In Love And Pain

As requested by @palliateclaws A One-shot with sweet Gregor, I hope you like it :)) Warnings: Mention and description of sciatica problems, herniated disks /Pain/Comfort/Fluff/Romance

_______________

Gregor got up very early in the morning, sitting on the sofa in your apartment and digging through holobooks and newspaper articles. Last night, after your movie date, you suddenly found it hard to walk again. Gregor was supporting you the whole time, you had to take some breaks, and you tried to hide your pain, but he knew. He rolled his eyes with a small smile at the thought of it. No matter how bad you feel, you never want to be a burden to anyone. He thinks it's unnecessary, it's not a burden, Gregor is happy to help you, anytime.

He reads through a mountain of info on sciatica problems and herniated disks, trying to memorize as much as he can. Gregor wants to understand you better, know what you are dealing with.

Symptoms: tingling, electric shock-like or pulling pains, numbness, paralysis symptoms

Treatment: depends on cause and severity; treatment options include medications, surgery, physical therapy, heat treatments, massages.

Causes: Herniated disc, vertebral body injuries, articular rheumatism, inflammations, abscesses, bruises, tumors, infections

Prognosis: With timely, proper treatment, the chances are good that the symptoms will heal completely.

Gregor nods silently. The symptoms sound really unpleasant, but he likes the idea of a possible treatment, at least as far as the problem with the sciatica is concerned.

He continues reading:

Sciatic pain and the accompanying symptoms sometimes occur gradually, sometimes quite suddenly. Doctors refer to the typical sciatic pain as neuropathic pain - meaning that it is not due to a structural injury in the leg or buttocks, but to the nerve itself.

More descriptively, many patients express themselves: For example, sciatica symptoms feel "like an electric shock" or "ants tingling in the leg." In addition, numbness or paralysis symptoms occur in some cases.

It is also characteristic that the pain radiates. This is referred to as radicular pain (pain originating from the nerve root). This distinguishes sciatica from lumbago, for example. The trigger here is often an unfortunate twisting or lifting that leads to a sudden, severe back pain. However, this does not move into the leg.

In case of sciatic pain, it also depends on exactly which nerve fibers are injured...

Okay, he doesn't understand it all, but most of it. He's about to bury himself deeper in another article when he hears the bedroom door open. Gregor gets up from the couch, hiding the holopad under a sofa pillow.

„Hey Mesh'la!“

You smile at Gregor, then rubbing your eyes and ask, "You're up already? When did you get up?"

"An hour or two ago," he replies with a shrug.

You frown. He is lying, he's up much longer than just one or two hours, you can feel it.

"That's early, why didn't you lie down with me?"

You can see he is coming up with a lie, he is the worst liar, you always see when he tries it.

"Um, I was a little restless"

You don't want to upset or expose him, so you nod slowly. You know he's cooked up something again, but it's usually loving things he comes up with, so you let him get away with this little white lie.

He gently takes your hand and leads you to the dining table.

"I've already prepared a little something for breakfast," he says enthusiastically.

A smile graces your lips.

"Oh yeah?"

Gregor sets the table, he's actually prepared a lot, enough for four people and plenty of choices. You blink in surprise.

"I didn't have that much in the house. Have you been shopping?"

He smiles, unperturbed, and says, "Yeah, filled your fridge. I thought after you weren't feeling so well last night, I'd do it for you."

You sigh softly, touched and a little annoyed with yourself. By now Gregor saw through it far too quickly when you were in pain again. But some days it was so bad that you could hardly hide it.

"That's very sweet of you, Gregor, but it wasn't necessary."

He looks at you seriously, "But it was necessary, you hardly had anything left, and I like to do it for you. I wish you would tell me more often when you need something."

You shrug your shoulders and say, "I can also order things to the house".

Gregor leans over to you and gently kisses your cheek.

"You could, but you have me, Cyare," he replies with a smile.

"You're incredibly cute."

He chuckled, showing you a small smirk.

"Indeed I am"

After breakfast, Gregor cleans up everything. He insists you freshen up and relax. You do him the favor, as he pushes you into the bathroom, spreading kisses on your neck. How could you resist his sweet ways? He runs you a hot bath and calls out as he hurries back to the kitchen, "I'll be right with you!"

In fact, it doesn't take long, the bath is just full and you carefully step into the hot water as he enters. He chuckles and lets out a whistle.

"Oh, mesh'la! Almost forgot how beautiful you are under your clothes!"

You say, laughing, "You did see me last night".

"I have a very short memory" he jokes.

Gregor takes one of your bath sponges and begins to wash you very gently while you sit back and relax.

"You spoil me, Gregor".

"So? That's something nice"

You sigh softly, you want to enjoy this, a lot, but you also want him to know that you can take care of yourself.

"Gregor"

"Hmm?"

"You know I'm not helpless, don't you?"

He looks at you, frowning.

"Of course I know that. Now, what makes you think of that?"

"Every time you're here, you shop for me, you cook, you clean, and.... now you even wash me. You know, I can do these things myself, just sometimes not as fast as you, or right away."

Now Gregor sighs softly. He seems to have something on his mind, you can see it in his face, something is bothering him. When he starts to speak, you almost hold your breath, somehow you are afraid he will say something negative. But he surprises you again.

"I do all these things so that you can see that I can take care of you."

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out something, a small box. Your heart almost stops. As he opens the box, you see the beautiful ring inside and finally hold your breath after all.

"Gregor..." you say almost in a whisper.

"I always want to be there for you. I do all these things for you at any time, you are the most important person in my life. It's important to me that you understand that I understand your situation, that I can deal with it, and that I'm always happy to lend you a hand."

You swallow and look up from the ring into his beautiful face.

He chuckles again and says, "I didn't know when and how to ask you, I had thought of a thousand things but, I can't wait anymore. Since I've been wanting to ask you, all I can think about is your answer, and it's starting to drive me crazy"

"Yes"

"What?" he asks, puzzled.

"I say yes, I want to spend my life with you" you say almost breathlessly.

Gregor beams all over his face. He is a little shaky as he puts the ring on you.

"It's beautiful," you say dreamily, looking at your hand.

"Then it suits you perfectly," Gregor remarks.

You laugh and kiss his chin as he leans toward you.

"Mesh'la?"

"Yes?"

"Do you have any room in this tub for me?"

You smirk and say, "Always."

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@puppetswithteeth

@palliateclaws

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

#one-shot #gregor #star wars gregor #captain gregor #clone commando gregor #CC-5576-39 #CC-5576 #gregor x reader #gregor x you #captain gregor x you #tcw gregor #star wars #clonelove #fanfiction #star wars fanfiction #asks #requests

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trillgutterbug · 4 months

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being back on my hbo war bullshit rn (jk im never not on my hbo war bullshit) seems like a good time to mention the very cool jacob vouza, a native of guadalcanal. from 1916 onwards he was part of the island's constable force, aka the system of policemen and law enforcers run by the colonial government, which was a scattering of primarily british and australian military and bureaucratic personnel, such as coastwatcher martin clemens (who wrote a great book about his experiences spying on the japanese).

the pacific (the hbo show, i mean) has a good number of narrative faults, but one of its most egregious content faults imo is its complete lack of acknowledgement of the native solomon islanders who were not just instrumental to the american victory, but utterly indispensible. without their knowledge of the terrain, their protection, guidance, and supplying of the coastwatchers who provided pivotal intel on japanese troop/air/naval movement ("forty bombers heading yours"), and their constant rescuing of stranded american troops (particularly air and navy men, including 26yo jfk) and white civilians, it is genuinely questionable how much longer or worse the war might have ended up being.

jacob vouza (whom martin clemens described as incredibly loyal, cheerful, brave, a fierce individualist, and tremendously skilled in bushcraft) had retired from the constabulary pre-war, but rejoined a year later when the japanese landed on guadalcanal. he helped clemens escape into the jungle, then eventually helped him reach the american lines safely. afterwards, he oversaw a network of native scouts and participated in regular spying missions, gathering information on japanese troop movements. on one of these missions, he was apprehended by the japanese, who found a tiny american flag in his possession. they tied him up and interrogated him. he refused to give them any information on the americans, despite being tortured for hours with beatings, stabbings, hanging, and being forced to lie on a red ant hill with open wounds. eventually, having bayoneted him in the limbs, face, throat, and stomach, the japanese left him for dead. he chewed through his bindings and escaped into the jungle, where he made his way for three miles through an active battlefield to the american lines. upon reaching the marines, he refused medical treatment until he could personally deliver a message to clemens and the commander of the 2nd battalion 1st marines. despite being unable to stand and barely able to speak through the wound in his throat, he informed them that the japanese were massing for a huge, imminent assault on the critical american-held henderson airfield. he described the japanese numbers, positions, and weaponry. he also dictated a final message to his wife and children, which clemens wrote down with one hand, while holding vouza's hand with the other. his warning came only about ten minutes ahead of the japanese attack, but that was just enough time for the marines to assemble a successful defense in the correct place.

vouza was quickly rushed to field surgery and received a massive transfusion (tangentially, this was in the time of a segregated american military, in which it was illegal for black and white soldiers to provide one another blood transfusions; although vouza was not considered black per se by the american military, it's nonetheless a notable element of the cultural landscape at the time), which saved his life. later, he was awarded a number of medals from both the american and british governments, including the silver star. in 1979, clemens successfully campaigned to have him knighted. following vouza's death in 1984, clemens also organised the installation of a commemorative memorial in his hometown.

it's remarkable (derogatory) to me that the pacific (the show), despite its amazing dedication in general to accuracy and exhaustive detail, didn't say a peep about jacob vouza (or any native person whatsoever), despite spending most of episode 2 re-enacting this specific battle. his actions weren't just a footnote, but genuinely the crux of the american victory. he was a very incredible person, one of the many examples of contributions native solomon islanders made to the war effort, and we should remember him accordingly!

#most of this info comes directly from martin clemens' book 'alone on guadalcanal'#it really is a great book! racist in its own way of course (see: the title) but for the time and circumstances honestly pretty equitable #eg clemens does explicitly note that the title is disingenuous considering the many native people he depended on for his survival #lonely vigil by walter lord is also a fantastic read about the coastwatchers in general #guadalcanal #the pacific #hbo war #jacob vouza

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nonuggetshere · 1 year

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do the variants have official names or do we get to think of one?

So that greatly depends on how much has changed from the main, canon timeline. If it's like, "everything's the same but Flower's kids are born earlier in the story" or "Everything's the same except y happens instead of x", or any other small deviations stay under the "Fragile as a Flower" umbrella. These tiny branches just kind of...loosely cling to the main, canon timeline.

Most of the main, big variants are already named, save for I think two?

Here are all of the current main branches, aside from the main canon, with rough descriptions of them (the two unnamed ones are at the top, so you don't have to scroll too much);

Unnamed variant nr 1

A young fire ant named Bullet Redwood is made a knight and joins the pale court. He's the youngest son of the ant queen of an ant colony residing near Hallownest (a fan-made tribe, if you will) and was given to them as a knight as part of the peace treaty, so he's immediately filled in on the vessel plan. Not liking how the Pure Vessel is treated, he refuses to treat them like an object and instead treats them kindly, like a fellow human on the same level as him.

Whole Flower was treated kindly by the knights and their parents, nobody ever treated them like their equal before, which intrigues them. This kindness, his charming personality and good looks makes them ever so slowly start crushing on him.

At some point, Bullet finds out about their sentience (the way how it happens isn't ironed out yet) and the two of them actually become friends. Flower's feelings to him only grow and it quickly spirals into the two of them falling head over heels for one another.

They start dating in secret, even being bold enough to sneak around the palace itself to meet.

It's got two variants. One, Pale King finds out they're sentient after he walks in ok these two being Very Fruity. Two, the two of them run away together.

Unnamed idea nr 2 (working title is Wyrm Instincts)

A young wyrm crashes near Hallownest on his travels and sets up a temporary den. They had long ago shed their bigger form similarly to PK, after getting into a battle and nearly dying.

Pale King is very agitated by a rival wyrm's presence near his territory and tries repeatedly to drive out the youngling, but he's not as young as he once was and the little cunt's faster and more agile than he is. He sends the Pure Vessel to patrol the borders after they've proven themself in being able to beat the young wyrm in battle, she eventually leaves and he thinks nothing much of it.

Until months later, the Pure Vessel doesn't show up to training on time and when he goes to check on them he finds them curled up next to a newborn wyrmling.

Naturally furious, he wants to set off to find that young wyrm, only for Flower to out their sentience when they stand in his way.

He still goes to find her, only to be handed yet another baby and basically told "yeah life's a bitch out here, I can't take care of them, good luck though lol". So he returns to Hallownest with one more grandbaby and hands them over to Flower before immediately going to brainstorm a new idea on how to stop the infection.

Flower still wants to help and preferably be sealed, but after he refuses they come to an agreement that Flower could take over his kingly duties while he fully focuses on his work. White Lady takes care of the kids.

But because literally everybody under the sun despises Flower for deceiving them their job is anything but easy and they're incredibly stressed and this close 👌 to having a breakdown.

Pale Knight

Flower runs away from Hallownest sometime after the reveal of their sentience. They got fed up with their treatment post-reveal and ditch everything, accompanied by their lovers, friends, some of Lummis' family and Hornet. They eventually stumble onto some other vessels who join them on their travels.

Since they are a god, they inadvertently gain a small following of their own. They gain a reputation for helping people in need and generally being a kind God, which leads to people wanting to worship them, much to Flower's dismay. They eventually accept their role as a God and allow some people, mostly ones who need help and don't have anywhere else to go, to join them. They eventually accept the role of this new small group's leader.

They're a nomadic group, travelling from settlement to settlement, and Flower eventually becomes known as the Pale Knight, a young God known for helping those in need. The rumours of them do eventually reach Hallownest, but Pale King doesn't think much of it, just another young pale higher being making a name for themself, he assumed.

They eventually deal with The Radiance (she's the god of dreams, they don't exactly need to be in Hallownest to reach her) and Ghost ascends into godhood in the process as well.

Eventually, they return to Hallownest, to help their father after they heard the old king is dying of void poisoning.

Wayward Royals

I posted plenty about this one, but to summarise; the royal couple leaves with a small entourage and with Pure Vessel to another kingdom for a political meeting. Their trip goes badly when they get ambushed, separated from their entourage and in the process of saving their father, Flower outs themself as not being hollow.

After they're turned around and get completely lost, the three of them spend a whole year and a half trying to get back to Hallownest, and form an actual parent-child bond along the way.

Sealed Flower

Flower never panics during the knighting and the sealing goes as planned. Hornet delivers the letter they wrote for their partners to them and then tries to tell Pale King the truth as planned, but he refuses to listen.

Has two variants, one where they kill Radiance, ascend as a God and break themself out after five years (and as they reached out to the Lord of Shades for help, they have a weird Venom-like thing going on with that guy now).

And the other variant, where it roughly follows canon game timeline of the Embrace The Void ending except Broken Vessel and Greenpath Vessel are alive and well and help Ghost, and so are all five of the great knights and the Pale King (the latter is trapped in the dream realm in his palace).

Numb Flower

Instead of trying to appease their parents over and over again, instead of eventually growing resentful and angry towards them, Flower just... Gives up. They embrace the role of the servant, and stop seeing the two as their parents, and keep a strictly professional relationship with them. Shortly after that, the two realise the error of their ways, but it's a bit too late for that at that point.

Flower actually requests to move to the servant quarters, and when they're denied they get the help of the few guards and staff they got friendly with and move there anyway. Pale King storms in the next day to argue with them about it, and inadvertently spills the fact that they are his child in front of the staff.

Grimm's Dirge

Flower is the child of Grimm and the Pale King, a result of the nightmare God's brief fling with the royal couple of Hallownest. He was going to hand Flower and their twin over to PK and WL, only to find out about the vessel plan and immediately change his mind, deciding to raise the twins on his own.

Flower's town eventually dies after the two snuck out into one of the many fallen kingdoms they've visited and Grimm doesn't take it well. Following their death, Flower becomes very reclusive and these issues drag on well into their adulthood. Despite being very talented in many ways, they've never performed with the rest of the troupe thanks to their debilitating social anxiety.

Meanwhile in Hallownest, the Pure Vessel - Ghost - is found out to not be hollow. They leave with their sister Hornet to find a different solution to the infection, and track down Grimm to ask for help. While he refuses his help, Flower heard their conversation, realises they're family and later that day sneaks out to find them and offer their help instead. Their younger sibling, Scorch (Grimmchild), also tags along.

Grimm, who's become overprotective over Flower following their twin's death, does not take it well.

Haven't ironed out the ending yet but I think it'd be funny if Flower stops Radiance from killing Ghost and she just halts everything in the sheer bewilderment of her brother having a child with the wyrm.

Everything's Alright

Pale King and the Radiance manage to work out an alliance early into the problem, so the whole infection bullshit doesn't happen. Flower and their siblings get to live normal, un-voided lives. Mostly focuses on family drama because Pale King Is Not A Good Parent. Radiance and Grimm are their cool/weird aunt and uncle.

Survivors

Classic FaaF except includes all of my friend's (@bluethepearldiver ) many, many vessel ocs. Is its own separate AU because balancing this many characters regularly got way too overwhelming. They still exist in the classic FaaF timeline, they all just become Norel's victims and die to his experiments.

This AU has its own sub-AUs:

Hollow Squad - All 30+ vessels make their way to the top. Pale King changes his plans from sealing the Radiance to murdering her with his own little army of babies. Flower/The Hollow Knight was picked as the best of them and specifically trained to be their leader, with Blue's oc Bitter as the backup/second-in-command.

Hollow Not Squad - After being taken from the Abyss, Flower comes back crying and scratching at the door. They're found there by the king, and after realising they're not hollow he ventures down into the abyss to find any other surviving vessels that might be down there.

Can You Hear Me?

A year or two before the sealing, another vessel is found when the Pale King travels to another kingdom to discuss an alliance and finds his daughter as the queen consort. Afterwards, he decides to search for any other surviving vessels, finding more and more of his children. Each of then not hollow, and each of them acting weird around the Pure Vessel. Eventually, that leads to him suspecting them of not being hollow either.

It eventually gets out that his suspicions were connect, when they finally find Ghost and the two are just too excited to be reunited for Flower to stop themself from breaking the persona they've built up for themself.

Named after what PK says to them when he tries to talk to them to see if they are hollow or not.

It also comes with the Survivors variant, where a lot more vessels are alive.

Found Out Early

A few variations of scenarios where Flower is found out to not be hollow early in life, either as a kid, pre-teen or teen. They get to live a fairly normal life.

The following are more of a setting-switch AUs, but roughly follow the main FaaF timeline, with some obvious changes to fit the setting:

Demon AU

Radiance is an angel, Pale King is literally the devil, and Flower is the antichrist created to destroy the winged menace plaguing the mortals and Pale King's people. After being found out to not be hollow they run away to Earth where they meet Petunia and Lummis.

Dragon AU

Medieval setting where the higher beings are dragons. Pale King and Radiance fight over their "hoards" aka kingdoms. Everything else stays roughly the same.

Modern AU

Normal, modern Earth setting except gods still exist and live like Just Some Guys because I find that entertaining. Hallownest once existed and Pale King and Radiance warred over it, but it's far in the past now and neither of them gives a fuck anymore.

Has two variants; One where the vessel plan was involved in their war over Hallownest but now PV and their siblings just get to live normal lives. And one where that plan never existed and PK and WL just have normal children, except the eldest two were born premature and sick and after one of them died Pale King went and made a deal with his old pal Shade Lord to save the last one, which means Flower gets to be made of void still and their twin is a shade now.

PK is part of the HOA

#asks #thylacines can talk #faaf au #wayward royals au #pale knight au #swaled flower au #grimm's dirge au #numb flower au #demon au #dragon au #modern au #jesus christ theres so many #survivors au #cyhm au #hollow squad au #hollow not squad au #WHY IS THERE SO MANY

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termitecontrol · 2 years

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This article discusses, For the safe pest control of pesticides and termites in your home, you should hire a professional and licensed pest control service company in Singapore.

#white ant treatment #termite control singapore #termite pest control

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emzmuu · 1 year

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“Or Are You On My Side?”

Betrayal, Choices, & Blame

— an analysis | theory

under the cut!

From a young age, Kazutora has been conditioned to think in black and white. Having to choose which parents to side with, he wasn’t allowed to have both, neither, nor to find the grey area within. He was given no other choices than what was picked for him, an illusion of choice. The fight between his mother and father involved him, a bystander to their conflict, to become a victim to their neglectfulness. He felt hurt and betrayed by how they treated him or rather, their lack of treatment towards him. Kazutora even describes his home as cold and never a warm environment. This mindset grows up with him— always popping up in his thoughts when interacting with others.

He asks the questions, who will betray me next? Who can hurt me next?

This is the start of a code he creates for himself, a mantra repeated through his thoughts as he develops, but never reversed as he doesn't reflect within himself.

As a victim between the fights and abuse, he carries that mentality with him growing up; as a defensive approach to others. With Kazutora, the thought of betrayal festered. Of others having potential to hurt him. He was suffering with these thoughts, never letting others in. With this fear buried in his mind, he still attempted to reach out for friends with hope that things would be better with them compared to his parents. And they were, for a time.

For Kazutora’s birthday, his friends take him to an arcade to have fun, only to make him pay for it instead. It’s mentioned that this happens often when his friend Junpeke apologizes for always asking him to pay. Kazutora’s mood turns slightly depressed when reminded of that fact just after saying how much he likes being with them, and how they help him forget his anxiety. On the inside, he knows the truth but won’t admit that he’s being used until pushed by someone else.

That's where Baji comes in, who he meets for the first time. He points out the fault within the group, that they don’t see Kazutora as a friend but as a money tree instead. That they only saw him as something— someone— to be used when it helped them out. They ran away leaving Kazutora alone to fend for himself. Again, he was the one being hurt by those around him.

After fighting with Baji on his own, in the end he admits that he has always seen himself as a money tree as well— disappointed that he’s been betrayed by them and left behind, even though he was aware it was bound to happen— he wanted to believe, but his hopes were betrayed.

“Having friends isn’t about who takes advantage. From now and onwards, you and I are... Friends.” - Baji

After finding out it was Kazutora’s birthday, Baji goes ahead to make up for the sorry excuse of friends and celebration he had. He declares himself as Kazutora’s friend, goes to burn a car together, encourages Kazutora to beat up Junpeke to feel better, gives him a piercing for the earring, and later introduces Kazutora to the rest of his friends; the future founding members of Toman.

During all this, the side story shows how Baji pulled Kazutora along and made choices for him so he wouldn’t have to, and helped encourage Kazutora to act how he wanted, even if they were bad choices. To be free from the confines he made himself and to become more confident with what he wants to do.

One day on a ride, Kazutora gets lost in his memories— of his father telling him to be thankful to whoever made him live without inconvenience. The father refers to himself here but to Kazutora, the one he is most thankful towards and respects is Baji. While the one that reminds him of his father is Mikey with his arrogance, inconsiderate of others feelings, and how it feels like he looks down on others. To be gazed down on like an ant.

He runs into his father again who traumatizes him and is rescued by Mikey, who declares himself as Kazutora’s friend. In this instance, there’s a drastic comparison in how others choose to be Kazutora’s friend.

Junpeke only said it himself when it was convenient for him, but Mikey said it when it would inconvenience him and get him in trouble.

Still, after the events, Kazutora goes to cut himself off from them; a way to ensure he will never be hurt or to involve them with his own troubles.

He goes to distance himself from them as he learns that friends can betray him too, not just his own parents. Kazutora thinks it's best to deal with it all on his own and to not inconvenience/burden others. He keeps them at a distance, to not let them in. That way he can never be hurt.

"People will always betray anyone. Be it father, mother, or friends. Every single one of them are idiots." - Kazutora

From that point on, Kazutora's thoughts changed from,"The only one who will never betray me are my friends." To, "People can betray anyone." His fear has been confirmed, and that mantra begins to haunt him.

Kazutora reflects on this, he considered his friend Junpeke a betrayer, but never considered how his actions at retaliation for the first time built up to Junpeke coming back for his own revenge. Kazutora considers this as revenge for himself, yet Junpeke also sees it as revenge for Kazutora beating him up in the past. There is no grey area considered that both are in the wrong. His world is still in black and white.

What's interesting to note is also how Kazutora always looked on from a perspective that others would betray him. That he was exempt from that. He's an outsider to his own views, there's a disconnect. It was always how others would harm him and not that he could harm others, him retaliating was his own form of 'justice'. After all, he was always the victim since a young age— the decisions he makes whether he sees it as good or bad still ends up hurting him, so he remains a victim in his mindset.

He can't handle the consequences of his own actions and doesn't want to perceive himself as being able to hurt or betray friends, like how others have done unto him. Mikey eases him of this worry.

This scene itself caused a shift within Kazutora’s mind. Mikey had no idea that the power of his words took a hold within Kazutora. The words that saved him and cursed their relationship. From Mikey's perspective, it was him saying he accepted Kazutora for who he was and that they'll face his troubles together. To not keep his worries to himself and depend on one another, because they're friends.

Everything that is Kazutora's is also Mikey's.

To Kazutora with a victim complex, Mikey was his saving grace. Kazutora placed Mikey as his as well— in a sense that all his troubles and faults would be Mikey's. Kazutora was free from burdens to act as he wanted, as Mikey would take responsibility for him and his actions.

This is what led him to blame Mikey in a very convoluted sense.

In the side stories and flashbacks, Kazutora is fine hurting and threatening others that he considers rivals and enemies— he shows no remorse. But in the panels above, he cannot accept that reality anymore, considering that he killed someone close to his friend— indirectly hurting Mikey.

He doesn't want to accept that he betrayed Mikey. He didn't want to think himself capable of hurting those close to him.

Then he remembers.

He only remembers how Mikey said all of Kazutora's problems, thoughts, himself— would be his. Through those words, Kazutora places Mikey as his Jungian shadow. He separates that entity and all of his problems from himself onto one singular person.

For Kazutora, it was all for Mikey in the first place. It was all because of Mikey. So he should shoulder the blame for everything. Kazutora doesn't want to recognize himself as a bad person like his parents or those who hurt him.

“It’s your fault I got sent to juvie.” - Kazutora

At the Valhalla initiation, the words chosen here by Kazutora as he explains the process to Takemichi is also interesting. As this is how Kazutora viewed Mikey before— when he put him on a pedestal, only to end up hurting himself and Mikey. Idolization does more harm than good. It shows that this might be how he still perceives him as well, he wants to kill off his beliefs and Mikey, but he’s also scared of Mikey and the power he holds over him still.

“Chifuyu... What have I told you over and over? Don’t trust anybody but your friends.” - Baji

Back when Draken tells Kazutora that they're still friends, Kazutora responds with "that's what I hate about you." Baji probably told him to trust no one but his friends as well. At this point Kazutora still trusts in the fact that Baji won't 'betray' him— so when Draken declares himself as his friend no matter the events of the past, Kazutora doesn't want to accept that fact. He wants to see in black and white, to have clear cut definitions that are easy to place as what can hurt him and what can't hurt him.

Draken is from a group that hurt him, he can't imagine himself going back to that when events could repeat again. At this moment, the fact that there's a gray area in-between the black and white does not exist to him. He doesn't want to blend the two together when it still has the possibility to harm him, so Kazutora would rather throw it away than to trust again.

This is how Kazutora tries to translate his worldview to the others, albeit childishly. It's how he can see redemption for himself while everyone views him as a villain for killing Shinichiro. Mikey, his enemy, is a problem that he made himself. If he can get rid of that problem, a shadow that he made— then he can become his own hero, and all his problems will disappear.

With Valhalla, a gang who accepted his ideals and encouraged it— Kazutora was flying high on his emotions, feeling that it was the right thing to do, that he could be a hero and gain positive recognition from it. No one could harm him ever again, he would be too high up for others to even touch. Not even his old friends.

Baji did understand Kazutora to an extent but he didn't understand how to help him. Instead he accepted Kazutora's self-destructiveness and encouraged him, thinking that as long as Kazutora felt someone was on his side, he would be fine. But as incidents unfolded, Kazutora was too far gone into himself and needed a push to bring his mind back into clarity.

Baji didn't want Mikey blaming Kazutora, or Kazutora ending up blaming himself for his death, so he took it upon himself and decided it would be his own fault for dying.

After Baji dies, Kazutora realizes that he was his own enemy and that Baji never did leave him, nor did Toman. He only betrayed himself in the end, ruining and pushing away the good things he did have. Rejecting others who tried to stop or even reconnect with him.

In the end he faces the truth, and realizes that he was also part of the problem— that it's not just others that can betray him, but also himself.

"I'm staying Baji. You guys go on… This is my fault. I want to take responsibility. I won't ask you to forgive me. I'll live my whole life with Shinichiro-kun… and Baji's deaths… on my shoulders." - Kazutora

Later, after the events of Bloody Halloween, Draken goes with Takemichi to visit Kazutora in juvie and to pass on a message from Mikey.

They knew that these words were important for Kazutora to hear— for his sense of self and his feelings of belonging. He's been struggling all his life with a mindset made to protect himself. That there was no one else on his side, or that there was nothing he could ever truly be a part of— without worrying how things could end up hurting him.

"Why…?"

He's been forgiven by Mikey and in essence of that, Toman. Kazutora though, doesn't seem to quite forgive himself yet and Draken understands some part of that. He is aware that he caused problems too and can no longer blame others for his own faults. He has no one else to share it with.

Black and white, choosing a hero and a villain. He understands he is not completely good and that no one is completely evil, but gray.

Mikey is no longer a shadow for Kazutora to push his faults onto as he has come to accept and take responsibility for the trouble he has caused. He is back to holding onto his own burdens/shadow— for himself to handle. He just has to learn how to carry it right this time.

____________

He is used to being betrayed but he doesn't think he's capable of betraying others. When he kills Shinichiro he realizes that he betrayed Mikey, it went against all reasoning that he built up, that he could do no wrong. He broke one of the stable points in his mind and the cause of him breaking his own code, was the cause of his own betrayal —> Mikey

TLDR:::

In the side stories it shows that he is used to being used and having shitty friends but doesn't want to confront it bc they're all he has.

And then in the Valhalla fight when Kisaki calls Hanma and they mention Baji betrayed them Kazutora loses it and goes to stab Baji because that was the person he least expected to betray him. Baji saved him when he was younger and made his life better and to know the person he depends and relies on broke the code? His last stable pillar? Goodbye to kazutoras mental health.

#Tokyo Revengers #kazutora hanemiya #kazutora #i really dont like the manga ending explanation like oh it was the magical power of the darkness that made him be a weird boy #i think even without the darkness he was gonna snap at one point #manjiro sano #kazutora analysis #tkrv meta #tokyo revengers meta #muuthoughts

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plutobutartsy · 10 months

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some nate facts :3

tagging @swanconcerto and @oceanicwhitetipshark because you guys seemed excited :3 fair warning though:

1. this is really long so don't feel obligated to read everything and

2. i mention nate's dad being an angry asshole specifically in relation to how it's affected nate, but nothing graphic or too in dephth. still, please be mindful of your own triggers <3

he's a werewolf! poor briar (remember, he's scared of dogs, hehe i am so funny)

like briar, he is the youngest child, he has an older brother (isaiah, 19) and an older sister (selah, 26)

nate is short for nathan! him and his siblings all have biblical names (take this with a grain of salt, i did like one google search so if it's wrong. idk)

his dad was a horrible and angry man and nate is constantly haunted by the fear that he will turn out just like his father

it doesn't help that out of all three siblings he looks the most like his dad. he has the same white hair and nose.

he somehow convinced himself that if he let's himself feel any intense emotions, even positive ones, they will turn to anger so he tries to keep a tight lid on everything.

he took some time off school and lived with his mom's childhood friend martha and her husband. they live on a farm in the middle of bum fuck nowhere (not really, just a small village but nate is a city girl (gn))

his mother hoped being away from the city he grew up in, and thus being away from a place he associates his father with, would help him "get over" his issues. with a bit of prodding from selah, their mom also got him a therapist near where he was staying

he still has some resentment towards his mom because of that. he feels like she just gave up on him and decided to push him away and out of her sight

despite that, his time away really did help him with accepting his emotions more but if you look too closely, you can see his smile falter a bit! :)

additionally, whenever he feels even the slightest bit of anger he panics and bolts

i should mention that his pack (formed by his parents and now solely run by his mother) used to treat him like a ticking time bomb because of his similarities to his father so uhh that did NOT help

of course not the ENTIRE pack but a few of the older members treating him that way was enough

that's why being away from all that was so good for him, it was just so refreshing to be treated like a person and to not only be allowed to feel freely, but to be encouraged to do so

his treatment has improved since he got back (thanks to his siblings letting it be known they won't tolerate this shit any longer) but he still gets dirty looks from time to time

there's rumors going around at his school that he spent his time away in juvie because his anger issues got the best of him

all this is very sad and tragically ironic since he's SUCH a sweetheart, always has been

evie transferred to his school like a month before nate came back and when he did, some people told evie that he was bad news and she was like what. he's a saint.

he loved being on the farm and really bonded with the animals. named every single one of them and can tell which is which no matter how similar they all look.

still visits and helps whenever he can

the type to be late to meetings because he got caught up helping every single person in his sight

sometimes just squats down on the side walk to watch the ants go about their stuff. he's hypnotized.

when he needs time to think he goes to one of those pet shops and stares at the aquariums until he feels the manager glare at him for loitering. he gets sad thinking about the fish being trapped but he likes watching them anyways

insanely good with kids. he loves watching the younger kids in the pack and they love him even more. he let's them climb all over him they use him like a jungle gym. so even if their parents are wary of nate they have to put up with him lol

does a lot of art! mainly pottery and poetry though!! but he also crochets, the repetitive movement relaxes him

in general he really likes working with his hands, that's why he enjoys pottery and the farm work so much

a disaster in the kitchen. local teenage boy tries to make eggs, 5 injured 1 dead

vegetarian!! almost vegan. he either gets his non-meat animal products from sellers he knows are ethical or not at all.

absolutely obsessed with shitty romance novels you know like the types you get at the airport. will talk your ears off about them. no escape.

this got really long so i'm going to make a seperate post with relationship stuff for my beloveds :3

#stella's super cool ocs

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