#why am i so stressed abt this its so weird

[monsterbisexual]

hmmmmm

#sometimes i wonder if i shld think more abt gender stuff? cuz i dont rly sweat it anymore #i dont luv hearing myself called someones daughter/sister etc #also sometimes i worry its like a weird internalized thing for me where i feel like im gross n weird #so im just some Thing/boything #which isnt the worst but its like i also get by in the world being misgendered n called woman stuff #for likeee many yrs now #so maybe its just not the biggest deal for me as some ppl n thats fine? or. idk #n smth abt feeling like im weird n different growing up cuz i Am weird n if that had some effect on how i feel abt my me? #mannnnn why does it even matterrrr #i just feel like maybe i shld do some investigating (in my feelings/brain) but i think overthinking it #will just be stressful n pointless #he/him = good n feels better n so what if im just a Whatever its fineeee #just worried that feelings of being weird n different n feeling ugly etc have made some impact on it #cuz that would be weird :/// idk #im on lunch at work why am i thinking abt this rn #it literally doesnt impact anythingggg #im not Out irl except to my few friends #who caressssss not me i decide! #p

[musashi]

.

#wordy wendy #gently requests to pls be patient with me right now i think my brain is. getting bad #i keep getting ghost notifs on discord #like channels lighting up and i check and no new messages #my posts are getting ghost notes. like itll say theres replies/reblogs when there isnt #i havent blocked anyone recently ive checked and double checked #if it was just one social media id think perhaps it was glitch but its. all the ones i frequent so i think im going crazy #yhis happens sometimes. i dont know why ots happening now idk what could be triggering it #(except for maybe some stress im not comfortable mentioning on my main) #UHHHH does anyone else have hallucinations like this because every time it happens it trips me up #i think it makes sense becauze most of my trauma is based around social media but like #its so fucking weird #anyways i am going to be avoiding the notes of my posts for a while because taking notes of it is not helping me #so if you wanna talk to me pls send an ask!! #afaik my asks are not ghosting. i havent gotten any weirdness there #dw abt discord i cant stau away from there even if i tried gkskdk #also pls like if you read

[callilouv]

idk if i rlly am unable to feel intense hate for something or i conditioned myself into thinking that hating soemthing makes me even more of a bad person so i refuse to feel such things HMMM

#cw rant #ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ idle chit chat #IDK❕i was always known as that one really caring and generous big sister #and whenever i express that i am upset i always get told 'why are you being like that?' and idk . perhaps ive been too nice to people #ALSO WHEn I RANT ABT STUFF LIKE THIS IM NOT LIKE . SAD ABT IT . #i just genuinely wonder hawuhhebfil #but yeah i think the emotional invalidation that i grew up with fucked me up like that LMAO #ngl i dont rlly even feel VERY strongly abt anything??? #i know that my posts here on tumblr r very like yk energetic and BAM BAM but when it comes to irl i just . dont hklwhjr #gosh i am the exact opposite of my online self its so weird #thinking back on it though my childhood rlly shaped me into who i am today in maybe not so very good ways huhu #my childhood was pretty good though . it could be way way worse but there were very miniscule things that rlly impacted the way i behave😭 #like 4 example the expectations set on me as a child was ABSURDLY high . #and everybody always praised me and stuff and i was so goddamn afraid of disappointing my family that i fainted on my desk while doing hw at #10 yrs old . yeah . JUST 10 YRS OLD #fainted due to overworking hawjgvhfk #also i was going to like . 2 schools at the time so like the stress was doubled hahahah darkest time of my life fr #ngl i like being my own therapist a lot and psychoanalyzing myself and my own thoughts🔎 #its pretty interesting. the way i think ;0

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#me this morning: wtf am i gonna do today? might as well set up samples and be productive i guess #bc i couldnt possibly try to enjoy my day or try to clean up my apartment or do any of thr million non school related things i should do #sigh... nope im here in the lab setting up samples. blurring the time away #i just wanna draw. thats all i really wanna do. draw poor bby narut0. and like its weird. i dont understand other ppl #like all i wanna do all the time is draw and learn. and even when im doing other things that usually what i want to do #so ill be in the middle of some event. feeling nothing and thinking abt those things #like idk thats why its so hard when ppl r like: what do u like to do? bc its only 2 things obsessively so i likd to do them but i also have #to so its also stressful. and when i do other things im like glad for the experience but i also dont feel anything abt it #idk it just feels like im not processing things right. but idk u dont have to like things that u feel ur supposed to #but if i just dont engage with the things i feel nothing abt my world becomes even smaller. so im stuck driving myself nuts doing the same #things over and over but i don't even kno what i want to do differently bc i dont like anything. v annoying and frustrating if u have to #engage with me bc there r all these rules #but anyway thats y im so excited to start a phd bc then school will occupy my time and ill b more interested in my day job #im just so ready to leave this place. i wanna go back to the mountains #unrelated

[fagoutboy]

why can no one in bandom be normal to other people jesus christ

#getting weird shouts on my lastfm from people who are probably both 15-16 bc my lastfm is connected to a discord bot ill end it all #like why does no one know how to interact properly with other people online why do yall have to both come and leave weird and #in one case overly familiar messages on my page at the same time just out of nowhere #can people remember more often theyre talking to other human beings not just computer screens #like idk its not that big of a deal really but its getting under my skin and it just feels very humiliating too like dude i am autistic #do not do this to me... #idk im just very weirded out by how bandom teens act. this isnt the first time someones been weird to me #ive talked abt this elsewhere but i got sent a death threat in dms by someone id never talked to for having more mcr plays like... #literally what. what. whatttttt #its so fucking weird none of these kids understand boundaries and its like very very obvious #anyways. sorry. i hardly ever use tumblr to rant but this is really digging at me for some reason? #im exaggerating when i say this but i hate teens ohmy goodness #in reality i just. dont want them talking to me most of the time. unless they can fucking Behave my god #why is it just. so stressful to talk to a 15 yr old help #ANYWAYS. #txt

[theloveinc]

I think if u ever made a blog that is just all ur hot takes and rants that could start a riot thatd be so sexie of u. i think that would be so cool bc UR so cool and i live to see u being petty and opinionated lol. legend shit 🤞

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO anon, please!!! you're too kind, come here and give me a kiss :(((

thinking about it... i'd actually honestly LOVE to, but part of me is a little bit scared thinking about it cuz i'd hate to feel like i was being "tWo FaCeD" or whatever given that i currently try so hard not to rock the boat............

but this is making laugh tbh... and i appreciate ur interest (and humor tee hee) A LOT. i just might end up having to given that... i've been having so much fun using this one that i know i'll end up missing the freedom when i most likely... move blogs/whatever i end up doing.

obvs i'd only drop the the name to select people tho (you being the first one)😈... but maybe i should just start collecting all my thoughts now LOL, dunno.

til then, love u forever and ever AND lots and lots. i'd kill and die for u, anon. for realsies🤧❤️

#i wrote a whole 6 paragraph response to this that tumblr DELETED #so if this seems half *ssed... thats why and i apologize #its fine tho i realized when i was trying to retype it all that most of it was needless #but still idk #i have weird thoughts on it all #i'd be really devastated to feel like... all the work i spent creating the ihatebnha persona was for naught u know? #if people turned on me for ... suddenly not being the person that i've always 'been' on here #but i wonder like. why am i that concerned #i already fundamentally believe that action > opinion and #truly nothing i think could really be that revolutionary bc im sure theres people who'd agree #(like u) #but still #it would be a betrayal of sorts </33333333 #it always is #but its not like other people on this site give af abt being rude #so whatever #i just need to stop stressing and be kind to myself and appreciate ppl like u #instead of the potential haters who don't even exist yet #sooooo thank u again for this #it made me laugh #sorry i took it a bit seriously instead of being funny like u but #i yam grateful EEEE #ur the real legend sh*t tbh #okay leaving now before i waste anymore time but ur cool too BYE #caitie answers

[guideaus]

a lot of these manga w lgbt characters bring up otaku culture 😭

#personal #im trying to rationalize it like 'well i am reading a manga' but these past ones have been the most ive ever seen it brought up in a while #i started reading still sick #it seems like its for ppl who only know abt gay ppl thru fandom?? (even in the asexual manga for some reason...) #or ppl who are too stressed abt geeky interests #idk why i dont like it so much. i think seeing the characters be weird abt it makes it weird and im like 🤨 #while the secondary character thinks its cute or smth #when i was in elementary school i was embarrassed abt naruto and didnt wanna talk abt it lol. thats the closest i can relate

[be-good-to-bugs]

i wish i had time 2 draw

#the bin #WHY right round b4 artfight am i once again moving #last time it was actually some time before i moved but i was packing 4 so long beforehand that i still didnt have time 4 it #well i have 4 days to pack up all my stuff + help my sister pack her room + whatever is ours in the rest of the house #AND i have to work every single oneof those day #actually its 3 days..the 4th is the one stuff is bein moved n is happening at 2pm so like. no time before #im havin 2 leave work early bc of it :/ they KNEW me n my sister both worked that day but they chose that day anyway #well. once am in new place hopefully ill feel less stressed #at least work hasnt been too bad. its not bad except 4 creepy guy who hangs around the cds a lot and wont stopping talkin 2 me #telling me how 'hard i work' in the most uncomfortable way possible :/ and making a commwnt about how i 'look so much prettier without a #mask on' i will wear one to spite you. only reason i dont is bc its very dusty where i work and you wpuld think otd help but it actually #just makes tnings way worse and i end up sneesing inside the mask and its gross so. but maybe i just need 2 get a diffrent mask #would def be better to wear one overall and also i feel uncomfortable with ppl seeing my face so much. esp the weird creepy ppl #well. im stresses abt SO much. but at least ill be in a new better place soon. thats cool ig

[transgaysex]

im about to go to sleep but everybody needs to wish me good luck i have 3 whole finals this week

#wind howls #i have so many weird feelings #tomorrow is arguably the hardest what with it being the philosophy exam and having to write almost a thousand words abt freedom and not #i am terrified. i want to be done with philosophy so desperately and i want to know and prove to myself that i CAN be okay at school #and yet what a thrill it is to be terrified of a final exam. it means i did manage to make it this far ! #whether im confident or not doesnt matter. what matters is that im taking this damn final no matter what. scared and all #im gonna fucking do it ! and even if i dont pass it ill still have done it and im going to be proud of myself for being able to do it !!! #im terrified ! but im glad i get to be a lil scared and know ill still do it and itll pass rather than letting th stress get the best of me #which is probably what i wouldve done 2 years ago. ive grown baby ! im celebrating that for my own wellbeing and because i deserve to. #tuesday is my french final (even though theres another exam afterwards. dont as me why. its dumb as hell but this is the biggest one) #and thursday i gotta hand in my exploration final (and then ill be done with that!) and present my gym class exam #which im not afraid of. i have to come up with a training routine for like an hour and present it to a classmate and theyll grade me #surprisingly its the one im most confident in. i love being an instructor and i miss it ! and ive built lectures for days that were worse ! #so im actually quite excited for that one hehehe #ah ! i need to sleep now though #everybody wish me luck ! goodnight !

[vickiewinter111]

how to manifest quick guide

+ success story

hi guys, my name is flora ! i've been in the manifesting community for a bit more than year and in this blog i'm going to share with you how i personally manifested my dream life and how you can do it to !

⚠️ if this doesn't work for you and something else does, then it's absolutely fine ! just bcs we don't manifest the same way doesn't mean one of us is 'wrong'... as long as it works !

HOW TO MANIFEST

1.Self Concept

For me, the most important thing is to have a good self concept. I have personally never manifested ANYTHING without having a good self concept. I had my sp having a crush on me for 2 years and I only knew it when my self concept was right and I knew my value.

It may not seem fair, but you can't attract anything if you don't love/respect yourself. And yes, it's hard to do so when you hate everything about your life, your body, your relationships, your financial situation etc but nobody's going to help you unless you step up for yourself.

First key to manifesting is knowing your worth !

2.Deciding you already have what you want

You don't have to overcomplicate it. It can be as simple as : healthy relationship with my sp, new clothes, bigger lips.

Once you know what you want, decide that it's already yours. It can be a bit hard to do it at first because you're going to think that you're delusional. But when you think you're delusional, remember who tf you are?! you can get whatever it is that you want and it's not a mirror or numbers on a screen that are going to tell you otherwise.

Look around you and see how the world is abundant. And how many people have what it is that you want, the relationship, the clothes, the lips. All you have to do is choose it.

3.Make the process fun

Manifesting shouldn't feel like a chore. You can do whatever makes you feel good, like turn it into a game maybe ! Create playlists that match the mood of what you want, draw something, visualize if you like it, write a journal...

Things I personnaly like are :

playlists

when there's a storm everytime there's a ⚡ i tell myself it's manifesting

pretending that my desires are in a 'package' that the universe is going to deliver to my door

rampage abt how happy i am to have my desire

4.Live the present

You are going to enjoy your manifestation in the present moment. So there's no point in living in the past. Your past doesn't need you. Do the healing you need to do and never repress your emotions, but don't let yourself spiral or get stuck because it is not serving you and simply not going to help no matter how stressful the situation may be.

DON'T FOCUS ON TIME for the love of god ! Just keep going with your life and don't overcomplicate the process. Treat yourself like a baby and do everything you like. Never force yourself to do something just to please someone. Enjoy your life !! Everything is going to be okay

SUCCESS STORY

Physical appearance (SP + dream life later)

I used to look like this. I know I was not ugly but this was not the appearance I wanted and I was actually getting bullied at this time so my opinion of myself was really low. I felt lonely all the time, I had almost only one close friend, and my love life was basically desastrous.

(i look 11 but i kept looking like this until last year lol i am 16 now)

Listen, I never affirmed. I never did guided mediations, or sport, or affirmations, or visualization, or SATS, or anything. Physical appearance was my first successfull manifestation and I wasn't even aware that manifestation was a thing back then.

But one day I realized I was really fed up and I told myself 'no but i am smart and pretty and everything why would ppl keep bullying me like tf. also why wouldn't i attract the guys i like have you seen me ?' and it's a bit weird but somehow i was immediately convinced of what i was saying.

Now my body/face look like this and when i tell you i pull up anyone i want its true. When i go out litteraly all men break their necks to try to see me again and i get asked for my insta/snap like 15 times at least whenever i go out. SO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF PLS ITS REALLY NOT THAT HARD I PROMISE !

I will post the sp + dream life success story in another post since this one is already longer than the bible alzjzkaoal.

Love &lt;3

#manifestation #successtory #nevile goddard #affirmations #law of assumption #law of attraction #law of the universe #mindset #mental diet #manifesting #spiritualgrowth #spiritualknowledge onnavratri #spirituality

[sun-stricken]

Headcannons about sick!gray? Mine is that ice mages get sick really easily but he’s just great at hiding it until Lyon mentions it or something and suddenly the guild freaks out at a sniffle

Also don’t know if it’s any interest to you, but sometimes when I’m making fiction in my head I imagine gray is actually sick. Like when he does wear clothes they’re always tight around the middle, right? So what if being under all the rubble did something to his lungs/chest and so he needs the support sometimes

edit from like two hours after i responded, you asked me for my personal headcanons, but all i did was play on yours, so sorry 🙁

omg tysm for the ask, i love this

i agree that ice mages get sick easier than other mages, but also any mage whos magic effects their temperature fluctuation, (i might make a full post abt that later)

also i am dramatic and love to ramble, sorry if its too long!!

Gray is good at handling things himself, hes been taking care of himself for over a decade, itd be weird if he wasn’t

He takes care of others, looks after his guild-mates, maybe to pay off some sort of debt, or maybe because they dont take care of themselves (what a hypocrite)

he takes care of them, he doesn’t expect them to take on roles for him, didn’t expect them to take care of him; he did perfectly fine on his own, thank you very much

-Fairy Tail disagrees-

The moment Lyon started telling them horror stories about how often and how intense Gray got sick while learning magic, all hell broke loose, specifically, his team broke loose

Erza started grilling Lyon, how did he get sick, how often on average, why is it so easy, how did they help him as a kid, what do you mean he couldnt breathe? HISBODYCOULDNTWHAT???

(it felt all too familiar to a criminal interrogation)

Lucy fretted over Gray, eyes panicking trying to search for an illness that wasnt yet there, asking if he felt ill now, does he need water? should he sit down? why is he so red?

(why does she look so scared?)

Happy all but launched himself into Grays chest, crying about why he didnt tell them and other nonsensicals he could fully make out

Wendy popping in to say that while she cant heal illnesses she can help him any way she can, and maybe she cried just a little abt how she couldn’t help him fully

(a kid shouldnt be so stressed about not being able to help fix a problem that they didn’t make)

Natsu, now Natsu was pissed. Hes no stranger to being reckless and he knows it, but this wasn’t him, this was Gray; Gray who had always helped him through sicknesses and injuries, some of which the guild didnt even know of. why didnt he trust them to help him? why didnt he ever tell them anything? why didnt he figure it out?

it hurt. it really did.

(why isnt he trying to fight him? why isnt he yelling?

Gray stood there, red in the face and truly embarrassed, he didnt think it was that big of a deal and here they were, here was his guild, his family. vowing to take care of him from here on out.

He doesnt think hes ever felt so embarrassed, and guilty, and so loved all at once

also a foreboding, hes not sure why though

as it turns out, he was right to be cautious

days later he had a cold, a measly cold, he sniffled maybe once or twice, and he might’ve stumbled just a little, and all of a suddenly he was next to the guild fireplace, covered in too many blankets, a thermos in hand, and people constantly insisting on getting him things

he knew he shouldn’t have come today

although, they had every right to be worried, as it very quickly turned into pneumonia. lucky him

He was taken to the guild infirmary, his team right there with him

even through the chills, the too short and too fast breathing, the obnoxious heat in his whole body, and the ever so slight delirium creeping into his thoughts

he felt the hand atop his, felt the heavy weight of sharp eyes that miss nothing on him;

he felt the purring mini oven tucked into his side;

he felt a hand usually covered in armor carding through his hair, wiping the sweat from his forehead with a cool cloth;

he felt the way a trembling hand gripped his no longer free hand, felt the telltale sign of whisperers against his fingers;

he felt the minuscule vibrations of scrambling around him, heard the clinking of glass bottles no doubt full of remedies

…

he felt, loved.

THID IS SO LONG IM SORRY BUT IM SO OVERDRAMATIC AND LOVE TO RAMBLE

NOW FOR THE SECOND PART THAT I LOVE SO MUCH!

being under that collapsed building fucking with his lungs and ribs isnt something i ever thought of!

thats genius, i love it

im just imagining permanent damage to his lungs, not being able to use them to their full capacity, and maybe chronic pain in his ribcage area and sharp pains when he tries to draw in deep breaths

i think Makarov obvs knew this (maybe he makes everyone has full check ups yearly or every couple years, but also everytime someone joins the guild)

he warned Gray against overexerting himself because it could be especially dangerous for him

he was prescribed an inhaler and medication for his breathing and pain

but this was and is a boy full of too much pride and guilt, maybe he thinks he deserves it, maybe just doesnt care what happens to him, maybe he simply doesnt know his limits; but for whatever reason he doesnt listen, doesnt use his support unless it is absolutely unbearable

of course it gets better over the years, but that didnt start willingly, the guild found out, maybe Gray let it slip, maybe Jii-Chan did, or maybe they heard him scolding Gray for overdoing it again

but they found out and would check up on him, give him advice from some of their experience with their own disabilities

Ive hced for a while that Gildarts was particularly fatherly (or like, a protective uncle…ly?) with the kids of Fairy Tail, so i think he wouldve been the one to get him this pressure support thing for his ribs

it worked, and so does heating pads/packs, which lead to the next development

and after Gray joined up with his team and got closer, he would make Natsu be his own personal heat pack bc that is such a sweet and silly image to me

Natsu surprisingly complained minimally

i wonder why? :)

more little sick things

Gray doesnt get hungover, probably the only illness he gets lucky on

he gets really talkative and delirious when hes sick, and clingy

he’ll ramble abt random things he has to do, not realizing he cant for obvious reasons

he’ll talk about life before Ur, about his siblings who never had the chance to live; about ppl who left Isvan before Deloria came, wondering if theyre alive and actually living, if they remember him

whoever’s with him does him the courtesy of not bringing it up when hes better

Lucy gets really scared when people are sick, it makes her think of watching her mom deteriorate, she refuses to go through that again

She spoke to Natsu and Erza about this while Gray was sick once, broke down and said she wad terrified of losing someone she loves to a stupid sickness again

Gray will cling to the person closest to him when he’s ill, holding their hand, leaning on them, just not letting them leave; he finally is letting himself be taken care of and it feels good, he’ll be damned if he lets that go again

Natsu was so angry when Lyon told them, he was so angry and so scared that even with his heightened senses he didnt know anything at all

If hes with Gray when hes sick, he rarely takes his eyes off the uneven rise and fall of his best friends chest, as to reassure himself that Gray was still breathing, that he was still here and didn’t disappear

Gray will get up and try to get things done when hes sick, he is not the type to sit down and rest and recover

he had to be physically hauled back to bed on multiple occasions

Erza is lost when people are sick, ever the leader though, she tried to take the lead, giving people jobs and trying to make sure everything is order

it ends up quite the opposite though, halfway through she reluctantly hands the reins to someone else

she tries though

Gray has a box full of ‘get well soon!’ gifts and cards, he likes to look through then and read all the messages over and over again

i lied. he has three boxes, his friends are overachievers

fin.

#tysm for the ask! #fairy tail #fairytail #gray fullbuster #fairy tail headcanons #fairy tail imagines #sun strickens ft #natsu dragneel #erza scarlet #lucy heartfilia #happy fairy tail #wendy marvell #gildarts clive #makarov dreyar #lyon vastia #i love hurting my comfort characters #idk if u can tell #but i adore #hurt comfort #gray fullbuster headcanons #gray fullbuster centric #sick gray #one day ill learn to write #and ill write all abt this #send me more asks #i love them #<33 #fairy tail asks

[seattlesellie]

this is super random (also this is my first msg to u hi <3) and i’m honestly asking this generally to anyone else who also happens to read this, but recently i’ve realized my sexual orientation and come to the conclusion that i’m like REALLY attracted to women (as a woman myself ofc). so obv this made me also think abt how someday i’m gonna have to tell ppl close to me abt this but i’m literally losing my mind cause i’m NAWT vulnerable especially w/ my parents 😭 and also i just now was watching a tiktok live that was full of homophobic ppl and whenever i see that on the internet, it makes me wanna go deeper in the shell (or closet lmao) that i already am in. like it makes me realize how many horrible ppl there are that won’t accept smth so simple (i’m also very emotional as u can see 😍) so like tbh i’m not sure what i’m seeking here but ig i’m just curious if u or anyone else has felt like this/what helped u come out? like it’s so hard for me to be open and as someone who recently graduated and is going to uni, in a completely diff country alone, i’m gonna have more freedom and if i were to date another girl, it’d feel unfair to my parents if i didnt say anything prior abt my identity. ik they’re also very supportive, which i’m thankful for, but i just HATEEE vulnerability. idk man :( it’s also very weird finally realizing more abt myself. it makes me SO happy yet so so so scared? aarrghh idk sorry abt this long message, u seem like the nicest person and this place feels safe, so i just felt like i could ask/find some kind of relatability. 💗 sorry again for this long ass rant LOLS 🌟

okokok im gonna tell u my coming out story because i can awfully relate to this ?? n adding a read more cos this is so long sorry <333 🤧

literally knew i liked girls my entire life and like suppressed the shit out of it. would try and date guys all throughout highschool and would feel so terrible afterwards… but like you, i was super uncomfortable with that type of vulnerability and also barely had any gay friends, let alone any gay female friends. so i spent my life just thinking im gonna be in the closet forever !! until i met my now ex gf, she would constantly be sleeping over— but i did the classic thing of telling my parents she was just my new best friend, until one day my dad was like… be so fr rn are you two dating. like you said, my parents are also very liberal and supportive (especially my dad), but still— it made me panic and drop a mug and deny deny deny !! then, after being together for like 6 months it was incredibly hard to hide it, and obvs she felt super uncomfortable bc i was super closeted and she was super out. so i kind of had to come out to my parents (i hid under a blanket and told them i have an important thing to say n then they already somehow knew). my parents and i literally never talked about these things like my mom didn’t even know about my first kiss or literally NOTHING about me, we didn’t have that type or relationship at all so i can relate to u so hard !!but like here’s the thing— i don’t think it would be unfair to your parents, this is your story to tell and you should do it when you feel comfortable enough, and if it takes you dating a girl for that then so be it. you shouldn’t worry about other peoples feelings about this, as this is yours to tell and not theirs! as long as you’re in a safe environment, coming out can truly be such a big fucking relief !! like that absolute weight that drops out of your chest is so so freeing. if the people who are close to you love you— they will accept you. if they won’t? truthfully, they don’t deserve u and never have. about the homophobia, its always going to be here, unfortunately for us hateful and bigoted people will always exist, and that can be extremely stressful and painful, which is why surrounding yourself with people from your own community is so so important and necessary. uni is such a good place to do that !! so many new people to meet and especially queer people to surround yourself with !! i super understand your fears but the good things that happen after you come out— that feeling of no longer needing to hide yourself is so so worth it 💗💗💗💗

#𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 anon 🎀

[boxwinebaddie]

ok ive been wanting to ask this for a while but i didnt know if youd be able to answer since its giving a lot away.. but f it lmao. does ravenstan know jersey kyle is HIS kyle? bc he hasnt said anything but how many ginger jewish jersey boys are there named kyle matthew broflovski hsjjdks im assuming one

ooooooh. ok...Hm.

so, i stared at this for a while and...

you know what, my friend? i should, one, prolly stop randomly jumping the line of 34973 ask memes in my box whenever i get a new one bc i get super excited & have no attention span, but also this is...Important.

and tbh, one of the Big reasons that rm got so tricky for me was because i got overly anxious about the timeline, too worried abt what sequence of events the fic should follow/what things should you know and when, etc. so i actually have a lot of random rm itinerary/lore that i wrote that i was going to drop you guys in other chapters but wasn't sure if it was...Time yet?

buuuuut given that posting to my ao3 has been super stressful for me as of late/i'm still trying to ease back into it/i feel more posting comfortable stuff on here -- combined with the serious bummer that i can't really write updates in the sorry shape i’m in rn with settling into my new workplace and grappling with my mental health/healing my complex feelings abt writing

which is a Serious Bummer indeed because i try to be as fun and zesty as possible in my ask responses, but i really want to give you all something more solid to Read, you know?

so this is my little compromise for you. :)

basically i wrote this little scene thingy like a month ago and Almost put it at the beginning of rm6...but it was too complicated and i was like maybe i should wait, idk...

but i am feeling chaotic today!~

and the fact you guys care enough about my weird little fanfictions to regularly send me thoughtful, kind, excited messages abt it even when my updates are few and far between — idk, that means so much to me. you all mean a lot to me…and you guys know i am unhinged and cannot resist posting snippets/spoilery things.

so…i’m closing my eyes!! but also it’s not a spoiler if i was going to post this earlier Anyways…right? dhsksks

( if you want to read it it’s under the cut w/ more info xx )

it is however…a draft. it’s really…not that good. like i said i was going to fix it / rewrite it when i figured out where i wanted it to go, but i wanted to answer your question without saying too much about it sooo i think this little scene thing should tell you/give you the information you seek while also keeping you confused/interested?

maybe?? idk?? i’m sweating, smh.

( some of lines just ended up re-written in my actual fic so if they look familiar that’s why — ANYWAYS! )

the Context is actually abt Kyle’s CRIMINA LAUR class, which if you rem(ember), jersey was writing an essay that was due at midnight but got rizzed too hard by raven and passed out and couldn’t turn it in!!! jersey kyle was ready to fight for his life ( aka lie out of his ass abt why his essay didn’t get uploaded w/o mentioning crimson dawn bc Ew ) but mr. mackey said that a Compelling Case was submitted upon his behalf by a

Third Party

and waved the missing homework assignment, where, in the section where kyle would have uploaded a copy of his essay, a video had been uploaded and submitted.

here’s the beginning of it

also jersey is in his pajamas, his hair is up, he looks radiant, he’s red bc having some box wine and his eye is twitching btw — pls tell me you can see it — also this was either going to go up before the hate or after it so i don’t think the time frame matters — this is just part of what happened while kyle was passed out back stage )

anyways! *jersey vc* Cheers! Mazel <3

;)

-uncle nina

#tw for me spoiling stuff #JUST KIDDING IM NOT I SWEAR U GUYS #I WAS GONNA TRY AND FIT THIS INFO INTO ANOTHER CHAP #but u guys are the best and have been very patient #and so dedicated and invested in my work #which is so amazing so #here is some interesting information #and i hope it helps answer ur question a little #u will probably have 20 more #so sorry friend #hopefully this was a thrilling uphate #i sent this on my phone #so im sorry if this looks crazy this also might be a crazy thing to do right before i dip for an event #but i love chaos let’s go babey #i feel like 75% of this is not ground breaking but IT IS CUTE OKAY I THINK ravenstan my beloved #he was so worried oh my god pleaaase

[binalakai]

hey im kai! you can also call me roach, if you already know a kai in your life because i know how many noncis mfs are named that

im a 21 genderfluid filipino dyke with she/he/it pronouns, i occasionally post my art on @binalakarchive , where all my OCs (at least as much as i show publicly) and fandom art/cleaned up discussions go there. i also do commissions sometimes, best to contact me through that blog!! otherwise, i treat this blog like a neverending journal. i've grown up with it, and on god am i going to use it as such.

in a perfect world where i wouldn't need to establish boundaries, i would not even bother with a post like this, but the more people i follow/that follow me come across it's somewhat necessary soooo

DNI or like. BYF if you're not gonna listen to me anyway: (warning: it's long and text heavy. tldr; don't be weird to me, communicate with me like you would with a real life person because that's what i am, and we'll get along fine)

-basic dni huge bigot (racist, TERF/transphobic, homophobic, etc etc) stuff but if i catch that onto your blog anyway when you follow me i'll block you.

-if you post a lot of doomer stuff/are against mental health care in general, you best keep distance, honestly. its taken a long time for me to not open my wounds and delusions constantly towards the internet if it meant being valid in my mental illnesses. i'd rather not enter that era again.

-i dont get the whole "proship and antis" culture that happens, but for both sakes of people, if you identify with any of those things you might not like my blog too much. i love being critical and analytical of "problematic things", but i'll still discuss them openly n freely. dni if you'll be offended if i diss on ships/approaches to subjects that make me uncomfortable n find comfort in being critical abt it, and dni if you'll be offended if i diss on the idea that media with triggering topics should not have an outlet period.

-if you'll be offended if i block you out of the blue, doesn't apply to close friends/mutuals i just mean with randos who post takes i dont like or cause too much stress in tags i browse.

-if you're gonna get in huge trouble over seeing dirty jokes and crass humor in public you best not follow me. i try best to tag my stuff, but last thing i wanna do is have a stern talk about it.....which is why i also am wary about people under 18 following and will be a lot more liberal on blocking younger minors for their sake or people i assume won't vibe with me period

-if your parents have access to your social media and there's a chance i'll be DM'd by any of them. i dont wanna talk to any of your parents. if you have an issue with me, i'm more than happy to talk about things directly. (ESPECIALLY FOR BUSINESS RELATED REASONS LIKE COMMISSIONS. IT'S HAPPENED A LOT ALREADY DUE TO OTHER PARTY'S FAMILY CIRCUMSTANCES I CANNOT FUCKING CONTROL. STOP IT. ITS ANNOYING AND A PAIN TO HANDLE.)

-if you get too involved with online drama/disputes. i'm not going to reblog a callout for you. if you get even slightly bothered by that statement, do not get close to me period for the sake of boosting callouts.

-if you have specific niche triggers that need to be tagged. i try to do catch alls or basic ones, but i genuinely CANNOT keep track of all my mutual's blacklists. my mind will slip and id rather not put someone in danger/i wanna keep that risk very very low

okay thankies <3 sorry these are so specific, i just wanna be insane on the internet in the safest way possible

#about

[sexisdisgusting]

I saw a woman making a misandrist account with "all men are like this, " men just want sex", "men don't see women as human", " this is universal truth about men" posts every single day multiple times over and over again for months and months while getting a Nigel at the same time who was your moid friend for years… And saying "all men want maids but my nigel is a genuine man and helps me clean"… I saw her tweets and always thought that she sounds naive, childish and mentally disabled because all nigel havers come off as that, I thought "nigel havers are twice as stupid as other women because they believe their moids to be some godlike exception". She got pregnant after two months and continued writing rageful " all men" tweets with a baby in her stomach, stressing it out with all the anger and getting *uwu congratulations on your nigel and baby" replies from other misandrists like… You can expect what happened next. She confessed that he took a condom off a few times behind her back therefore I know that this means that he never saw her as a human and just "conspired" against her like she's a meat or a toilet for his cum. She didn't even notice it. She's still with him and he is her fiance, still a "Nigel". I really think I was born with superior awareness because why I fucking knew she sounds weirdly dumb like they all? Hello what do I know? So I'm not a bitter hater making schizo accusations in my mind and it's just women who lie about their uwu romantic genuine equal relationships? What other horrible assumptions of mine are right… About issues like this they all turn out to be true no matter how insane and disgusting they were and made me sound like a gross person making up things...I got shit for it sooooo many times

But it gets worse, he pays the bills and works, she stays at home... He saw her misandrist acc and lectured her for half an hour... She sounds like her mind is underdeveloped but all het partnered women sound like this to me thats just..... So trippy, she calls her child a bean and a fool she's gonna dress up like it's not human but... A doll lol ykwim like its so childish "omg uwu I'm gonna have a little doll to dress's in cute clothes" wtffff

I was always so abused for making these assumptions abt het relationships... For 8 years now my prophecies were turning out to be true, no matter how misandrist, misogynistic, degenerate I sounded.. No matter how much of a lower people thought I am. This much time also allowed me to observe certain relationships for years and see what happens and you guess what. Worst blackpilled assumptions. Sometimes I sounded like a porn sick moid making up things but they always ended up being true also... What is my brain like this? I was always uncomfortable with womanhood.. Its like im not naive enough to let a moid impregnate me or date one but other women brains work differently. I'm so horrified and disgusted with life and uncomfortable with everything in general, I have access to the awareness women have no access too and I see male pov and I can't ignore it.... I how men conspire behind women backs but women pov brainwashed me to think its not true since they dont see what men see when they are behind their backs literally or not.... I'm terrified wtd everything is so filthy. I can't even call myself different than other women without attacks but I swear I was born with awareness they dont and can't have, I gaslighted myself about it multiple times because of the insults and attacks I got anytime I said that

my jaw fell multiple times reading this holy fucking shit

i really have no words to say

it is weird when you feel everyone around you is blind to how disgusting men are, wilfully too

makes you feel crazy

#asks #anon asks

[nabbit-unmasked]

(Technically update 3 on the Hazbin kin situation. This is more for my own logging/journaling though. Feel free to read or scroll on!)

Reasons I think I am/am not Vox:

• I look like him in my mind

• I feel that kin feeling when I see him and I've had that feeling for months

• I have some kind of deep connection to Valentino

• I have attachment issues that include anger, jealousy, and hatred towards anyone who might harm or take my attachment figure away from me

• I get stressed and think/say "fuck my lifeee" and then go out in the world and deal with it

• He shuts down when the world and his emotions become too much

• I don't feel a connection to tech (one of the biggest reasons why I'm feeling weird abt it)

• I wouldn't be so heartlessly cruel to others (unless they were working with the person I hate, see attachment issues)

• I feel positively about alastor, sir pentious, and everyone else that's redeemed

• I don't feel like I'm looking in a mirror when I see him (but I don't exactly feel that with Moisty [my confirmed fictkin] either)

• My connection to Valentino might actually be that I'm kin of him instead (I'll feel incredibly guilty if that's the case)

And for Adam...:

• I look just like him/his kind in my mind

• Immediately had that kin feeling when I first saw him, and that was in colorless fanart.

• I'm into punk rock and being punk is a huge part of my identity

• I swear a lot which is also (somewhat) part of my punk identity

• I feel a large connection to whites and golds (though I've determined this is because of my other kintype, a Lipizzan)

• I dont have it in me be to be so cruel to everyone (biggest reason)

• I feel generally positive about Charlie and her crew

• His outfit isnt quite right in shape

• I don't feel a connection to angels or heaven

• His mask/the angels masks would be my actual head, not a cover up.

• I feel zero connection to the adam and eve story

And lastly, for Sir Pentious:

• I saw him and immediately had that kin feeling (same with adam)

• I panic easily in social settings

• I love my dog like my baby and I like protecting people younger than me

• It felt right to go by "Sir Pentious" and I have a connection to his name

• I feel generally positive about Charlie and her crew (stolen from Adam's, but this time its in green)

• Absolutely hopeless romantic

• Again, I just look and somewhat feel like him.

• I don't feel like a snake

• I don't like girls (with very few exceptions)

• I cant easily see myself in his shoes (I am autistic tho)

• I don't actually have many nots...

Thanks for sticking around if you did. Have a free Voxtech tv!

+1 🖥

#fictionkin #questioning kintype #kinsidering #vox kin #vox fictionkin #hazbin hotel adam kin #sir pentious kin #pentiouskin #hazbin hotel kin