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#yeah or maybe she has her own life
spirkbitch · 9 months
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someone said they might be trying to establish a basis to claim that Spock and Chapel were actually in a secret relationship all throughout TOS and that’s actually the most monumentally terrible idea i’ve ever heard
i hate you (whoever you are) for bringing that up in my tags and i also hate myself for never considering that possibility and now i can’t stop thinking about how terrible of an idea that would be if that’s where they’re actually planning on going with this
(even though i don’t think it would actually make any sense for that to be what they’re going for since they would still, presumably, have to break up for long enough for Christine to get engaged to Roger Korby but hey SNW has never let canon get in the way of their bad ideas before)
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whoever this beloved anon was I am so touched by your kindness! You definitely didn’t have to do this but I am so happy you enjoy this idea and I will happily expand upon it for you!
this is just a collection of word vomit bullet points for the time being but I will happily answer any and all questions about this pair!!
warnings: violence, angst, child death (Sarah Miller), foul language, the same warnings that apply to tlou, reader is Sarah's mom and described as having similar features to her. 
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So the general Idea is that you and Joel are happily married before the outbreak. 
You had been Sarah's mother, his high school sweetheart he got pregnant when neither of you were old enough to have any reaction to the pregnancy test other than a fucking panic attack in one another’s arms. but you made it work 
you both worked but made time for one another and your sweet girl, going to museums every other weekend and joel insisting on swooping you off for a date every now and then 
nothing special. He knows you’re more of a diner gal than anything too fancy that makes you both feel out of place. 
On his birthday in 2003, you had planned to tell him that you were pregnant again. But the memories of your own fears of motherhood from all those years ago begin to swirl through your head again and you get cold feel. deciding to tell him the morning after
it is his birthday afterall, you want to focus on him. 
but when you’re woken up in the middle of the night because tommy needs to get bailed out, Joel kisses you sweetly one last time before promising he’ll be back and you can’t shake the feeling that something bad is happening. 
its you that shakes sarah awake that night. shouting at her to put on her shoes when she’s still rubbing the sleep from her eyes because you’ve been listening to the radio for the past two hours, calling joel again and again and again praying for him to fucking pick up but to no avail. 
Sarah, bless your little girl’s bleeding heart is the one who insists you check on the adler’s against your better suspicions and when you find the eldest looming over her daughter, blood and sinew dripping from her mouth, you grab your daughter hand and burst into a full sprint until something slams into your back and sends you tumbling onto their front lawn
its how joel finds you, struggling to keep the once sweet old woman, whose now nothing more than dead eyes and gnashing teeth straining to snap at your pulse point as you push against her while sarah shrieks before your husband runs forward and cracks her skull with a wrench. 
there’s hardly a moment of pause, just enough for him to pull you up and into his arms before he’s ushering you both into the car with an urgency. 
when the truck crashes, you get separated from them. Perhaps at Tommy’s side when the flames rise and create a wall, separating you from your husband, or maybe pulled into the mob of chaos when trying to escape from those already infected-
all joel knows is that you promise you’ll find him: just get sarah to safety and you’ll meet him at the river
Poor thing is already so frightened, held in her father’s arms with tears streaming down her face insisting they can’t leave you they just can’t but her father kisses her forehead and reassures her its going to be okay 
“we just need to be brave, okay babygirl? Your mama’s real tough, she’s gonna be alright.” 
he isn’t sure if he’s saying it to his daughter or himself. 
but when he comes to the river you aren’t there. Only a soldier who points a gun at the scared little girl in his arms and then he loses everything
its when the light is gone from his daughter’s eyes that he realizes. His voice cracked and raw from sobbing that he looks around to see his brother with drawn in shoulders and tears in his eyes but his wife is nowhere to be found. 
Tommy says you got lost in the chaos. Everything was so loud, so sudden that he turned around and suddenly you weren’t there. 
Joel wants to go back but its Tommy that stops him, that dulls the red in his vision to a sad faded pink because his brother points at the orange horizon not too far from them, so much of the city is already in flames. 
“We’re gonna find her, but not there.” 
So Joel searches. for the first year spent in the world post-outbreak its all he did. 
He became a smuggler because of it. 
Information came at a price and he needed to be able to fucking pay it, whether it be in blood or ration cards. He was willing to do anything to find you or any thin thread that lead your way. 
But it’s Tommy that asks him to give up. Not in those words of course. 
The youngest Miller knows better than to say something so cruel that would make his brother, the only person he has in this world turn on him. 
But his voice is worried when he asks him one night in Boston when he hasn’t even had the chance to wash the blood from his knuckles 
“You think she would have wanted this for you?” 
the fight that followed his words was brutal. Vicious insults and scarred fists slamming against each brother until they're both too tired and bloody to continue. Each leaning against a wall for support and Tommy’s wavering voice breaking the silence. 
“I don’t know where she is, Joel. But I do know you're gonna get yourself killed if you keep lookin’ for her.” 
All he can do is nod. 
It’s a few days later when he meets Tess. Who has heard plenty of stories about the elder miller’s brutality and wants him to put that muscle to good use for some extra profit. 
It begins his new life. One that empty and cold but one he can live. 
Until of course, Ellie comes along. The sweet and incredibly opinionated girl that makes him become something akin to the man he thought died twenty years ago. 
its when he’s traveling with Ellie, that it happens. When a warm familiarity has settled between the two because so much blood and pain has been shared he can’t help but see her as something close, something bright even though all he can force himself to utter in her reference is “cargo” 
when theyre traveling through the woods as Ellie chatters away, probing his memory about a movie that may or may not have existed thirty years ago because her descriptions of the plot are incredibly odd he hears a voice shout for them to stop and finds himself staring at a man- no, a boy- pointing a gun at them. 
Ellie stills, but Joel can see enough to know that from the lanky figure and dimpled face that he’s young. Maybe twenty, twenty-two at the oldest, but his eyes dart from Joel to Ellie with a pinprick of fear that allows Joel the time to charge forward and slam him to the ground before wrestling the gun from his hands. 
He has enough to time to tuck it under the stranger’s chin before he hears the sound of the safety being turned off and finds himself looking up and seeing a gun just inches from his face. 
Joel’s head whips around when Ellie’s voice calls out his name in fear, he turns to see another stranger holding her a gun point, shoulders drawn back and a shadow cast over their face by the had obstructing their identity. 
“You hurt one of mine, I hurt one of yours. That a fair deal?” 
Its takes him a moment to recognize you. It’s been so long since he’s heard your voice, the sweet tease when you would poke at him each time he woke up late despite the fact that you reminded him to set his alarm the night before, the times you’d chide him with a harsh “Joel Miller!” whispered in public anytime he was able to grab you a bit too passionately to be appropriate in public but the laughter in your voice let him know you were never truly mad at him. You didn’t know how to be. 
But that sweetness is buried under a cold rasp that cuts through the air as you point a rifle at the scared little girl in front of you.
“You think I won’t?” You’re older now, skin covered in scars from a life he didn’t know you got the chance to live and your eyes are cold as they regard your husband. “Put the gun down and get the fuck off of him, I won’t repeat myself.” 
Joel mumbles your name in awe. The woman he loved, the woman he mourned the one he fought so hard to find stands before him like some sort of hallucination and suddenly the world feels like its spinning until you bark orders at him again. 
“You’ve got five seconds Joel, make a fucking choice before I make it for you.” 
He looks down and realizes the boy under him, the one with the bleeding nose and snarling face has your eyes and his dimples. 
“One.” 
The one above him has Sarah’s hair. Soft brown curls that shine under the sun. 
“Two”
Wait. No, they both do.
“Three.” 
Twins. Jesus fucking Christ you had twins. 
“Four.” 
Joel holds the rifle up above his head and the one boy standing snatches it from his grasp, tossing it to the ground and kicking it far from his reach. He slowly stands, allowing your son- dear god your son- to scramble to his feet. 
Your voice softens just for a moment. “You okay, Duke?” 
Blood stains the bottom half of his face from where Joel slammed his fist into the boy’s nose just moments before, but he nods nonetheless. 
Now, they both stand on one side of you and he can see the resemblance clear as day the same way he would whenever Sarah was by your side.
When you order him to hand over his bag, he does so without question before telling Ellie to do the same. 
She watches him with wide eyes, her hands still up in the air but gaping at her companion as if he had grown a second head. 
“Joel!” “Just do it, alright?”
He doesn’t miss the way you watch their interaction with narrowed eyes until she tosses her bag to you and you slowly lower your gun. 
“Now, you want to tell me what the fuck you think you’re doin’ at my home?” 
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#i had an idea of something similar for tommy but on outbreak night he uh. abandons you instead of getting separated from you#because. angst :D#people say nice things#this was incredibly generous of you anon thank you so so much!#i may get myself a little starbucks drink this week now because I havent had starbucks since like january 1st lol#joel reeling from taking in all this information and also realizing he suckerpunched HIS OWN KID#id like to apologize for all the grammatical issues with this. this is just a bulletpoint word vomit to get my thoughts on the page before-#-beginning the actual fic. also I have to do a midterm tonight and this is my treat to myself hehe#but yes. joel getting separated from his wife on outbreak night and having to accept that shes probably dead#meanwhile youve lived this entire life without him because you think HES dead ad raising your boys all on your own#which just- further digs into his insecurities about failing in his role as a protector#he couldn't save sarah. he can't save ellie and he couldn't even save you#he thinks about you pregnant and alone. fending for yourself in a world full of infected and raiders and his chest grows tight again#this is all followed by Ellie going >:O 'you KNOW THIS PSYCHO?'and then joel immediately snapping at her to WATCH HER MOUTH#because that kid has no filter and he has to explain that youre his wife#anyways joels wife is a badass mfer who also maybe has a little garden and some chickens that you and your boys take care of <3 yeah .#reunion tag#ill be using that for this specific couple because I dont have a fic title yet but if anybody has suggestions!
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yourqueenb · 5 months
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Ok I know we’re focusing on Mal rn, and I’m happy about that. But this right here would’ve been a great moment to give MC a chance to speak on how holding the team together affects her since he just commented on how hard it is. Like now you have a bit of an idea of how she feels, but you still don’t know the half of it because she had to come back, pick up the pieces, and rally everyone together again AFTER being kidnapped and held captive.
And I get that MC being gone was hard for Mal, especially since he’s my LI. But he still ultimately got to move on and pursue something he’s always wanted to do. Meanwhile MC went from saving her brother to saving the world to saving herself to being thrust right back into saving the world and her friends again!
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lunasilvis · 2 months
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1 advice to (too) many people: try to start taking yourselves and life less seriously. really
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arundolyn · 11 months
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i love thinking about how celica is just like. kinda The funniest fighting game character ever, without being a joke character like neco arc. she's hilarious unintentionally. she's extremely good at magic. she refuses to use it to hurt anyone ever even in self defense. she's a pacifist by choice but also because she's just really bad at hurting people even conceptually. i cannot imagine celica actually hitting anyone for any reason herself. that's what nine/ragna/minerva are for. her magical aptitude is extremely high and she's basically the only bitch that's ever been this good at healing magic on earth. she knows lightning magic but it's loud and scares her so we never see her use it. she's literally kind to everyone's detriment in that if she fights the literal god killing antagonist of the series she heals him anyway. she's constantly telling her big scary robot gf who's made to protect her to be nicer to people. her vibes are so good that she makes two of the main antagonists physically ill and nullifies bad vibes just by existing. and she's gay
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dutybcrne · 1 month
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Kaveh definitely wants at least one child of his own. Partially to continue his family line, partially bc he himself loves the idea of having a family of his own. He would however like to move out of Alhaitham’s place before he even dares consider getting a partner to begin with. And the longer he stays there, the more stress he feels thinking about it. He even has sketched out nursery ideas and plans on how to raise them all set to go, if only he'd get out of debt fast enough-
Furina also really wants to have a child of her own. She adores seeing the families around Fontaine, and has dreamed a great deal what parenthood would be like. Nothing brings her joy than when children about Fontaine invite her to join in on the little games they are playing, leaving her giddy and smiling bright as sunshine on her way home. Of course she knows that to be a parent, she really has to get her shit together. One can't just rear a child on macaroni and residual payments, after all.
#hc; kaveh#//Mans is stressing#//He’s like ‘I’m damn near pushing 30; I should have my life together by now aaAAAA’#//Do like the idea of Haitham & Kaveh coparenting though#//Them raising a kid together; be it romantically/qp involved or just like#//Some Full House situation type beat lol#//Haitham does like helping kiddos learn after all. And it would make SO much a lot easier for Kav#//Kaveh would preferably want an even number of kids if he has a partner; so they don't ever feel lonely#//If it's just him & his kiddo; then yeah; he's a little more fine w only one. But he really wants them to have someone to fall back on jic#hc; furina#//She's had thoughts of having children of her own for damn near 500 years#//Which she knew would be Impossible; her role came first and foremost#//But now that she's free from that obligation; the thoughts came welling back up#//It's not entirely why she wants to stand on her own right and get better at so many things; but it is part of it#//She'd love the idea of having her own little family at last#//Though her Salon Solitaire buddies will have to do djbhgjfd#//She doesn't actually know how many she wants tho; maybe one if she's single; but whatever her partner is down for; she would be too#//She would be such a doting mom hjcbffg#//She genuinely wouldn't even mind not having a partner if it came down to it. She will most certainly be able to handle a kiddo on her own#//She thinks that; yet she also most certainly get overwhelmed Real quick at first#//Esp since she'd be such a sympathetic crier when it comes to her babu. & bc she already feels the urge to cry when frustrated#//But she would try her best#//Would absolutely consult with The Gals each and every time she needs anything#//Deffo would be the type to get matching outfits for her and her kid jffghh
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cuteniaarts · 17 days
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Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl
17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019
#my art#artists on tumblr#I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already#I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that#exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together#not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know#and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again#I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly#instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her#feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time#well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system#and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her#and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result#but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind#which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever#never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor#but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself#she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret#there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end#even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again#I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing#it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day#she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much#when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was#well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed#I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home#and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me#spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure#and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes
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just-bendy · 2 years
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You and alice look the same, why is that? Did you possess her? I mean that's the only attempt for a demon to make friends with the opposite side
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We look the same because we're both toons created by Henry, an' even then we don't look the same at all, unless you think I have long flowin' hair and an hourglass figure.
No, I didn't possess her- I can't possess anyone. An' maybe we got along well enough for us to be friends, I don't see why that's a problem. We've never felt anythin' weird between us even if we are "demon" and "angel". Maybe at first but not anymore.
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I... guess? Maybe I'm just the right amount of charmin'!
Although, she ain't much of an angel anymore.
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puzzlekinq · 1 month
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cant sleep because im seething with anger
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#been laying here for like 40 minutes fantasizing about finally snapping and telling my mom everything i really think and feel#if i ever came out to her she would end up cutting me off like she did to my aunts and uncles and cousins#basically im alone and my parents and siblings are the only family i can be in contact with right now and its isolating#off topic but yeah#i miss having a big family and people besides my parents that i could rely on. people i felt like i could actually breathe around#idk. whatever#why do i feel responsible for her actions all the time. its been my job to keep her stable and listen to her vent for years#but i never say anything about my own feelings. because she would make me feel stupid and ridicule me. lol#all she does is make me feel like shit most of the time. shes always in a bad mood and shes always whining and always pessimistic#and yeah i get along with her for the most part but lately her attitude has been weighing on me a lot. i cant criticize or disagree with her#because she'll just get mad. shes always been an angry person. thats why i hardly spoke to her from ages 10-15#maybe i jsut wanted to give her another chance. maybe i felt sympathy for her. shes had it rough her whole life#but when shes still bitter no matter how many times i comfort her and let her vent and cry to me and when she chooses her husband over me#every single time he fucks up (which is like. constantly) and always takes his side when they inevitably make up after a huge fight#it feels like i'll never be able to make her happy. it feels like i should stop trying. if she wants to be full of hatred#and have a shitty husband then fine. i cant fix her like and i cant hold the weight of her mistakes#*life
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atlas-five · 1 month
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thinking about helen distortion again
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cestacruz · 1 month
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Mmm Jeanne
#servants cant learn new stuff (i'll talk about jalter in a second) therefore#jeanne shouldnt know how to read or write#we actually Dont get a confirmation that she can do those things in summer 3. because the book that jalter thought jeanne wrote#was actually Her own book#jeanne works with marie. maybe she comes up with the ideas and does rough drawings that marie would be Delighted to bring to life#marie reads to jeanne is my image#jalter taught herself how to read and write and i think that was possible because of the unstability of her existence#if you try to teach jeanne how to read and write it will stick for a second but if like idk 15-20 min pass she would likely find herself#unable to read again and her writting to be suboptimal#she can sign her own name ofc thats historical#she can recite the bible from memory iirc#i love jalter's ability to be her own person even if it comes with the fact that she is very much. an ephemeral dream#like her FCKING SKILL IS CALLED.#WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS FGO#anyway. now jeanne again but physical#oughhh thank u for the support in the tags when i said jeanne should have self image issues because she looked different in life#i hadnt fully talked bout it i just went with hair but yeah. i need to check again because im pretty sure her body wasnt Suuuper different#but i just gotta confirm#but im just so i love the idea of her just not liking the way she manifested abd not knowing Why she manifested like that#when there are Countless depictions of her with her short brown hair#sieg looks to the side whistling (its not his fault but he knows the pseudo servant part#and its probably a mix of . fate apocrypha's manifestation and of how some people imagined jeanne looked like#but it still upsets her#not that she'd ever complain to people#you can probably get it out of her tho#unrelated and only to those who reached this far: im thinking of a singularity set in 15th century orleans in the Middle of the hundred year#war. but the difference aint “oh jeanne d'arc came back to life evil” rather than “there seems to be a battle here where it shouldnt and oh#my god is that jeanne- oh god jeanne d'arc fucking died--#and chaldeas has to try and fix the war without living breathing jeanne d'arc#actually thats not the middle of the 100yearwar but yknow what i mean. also haha jk unless...
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lover-of-mine · 10 months
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Yk I'm always thinking about Buck Actually and the talk Buck has with Thomas and the whole "you don't find it, son, you make it" and the way Buck looked at Thomas dying right after Mitchell holding his hand and the way some part of Buck looked at them and connected love with death and now keeps trying to make something to the point that it would kill him. He heard that the type of love he wants comes from work and decided he needs wear himself down to get it and it's just devastating.
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linagram · 1 year
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𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚒𝚖𝚒'𝚜 𝚝𝟷 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚐𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗!
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it's time for these two to answer some questions!
first of all, they will be answering 15 questions. i checked the canon prisoners' interrogations again and i noticed that for some reason haruka and yuno's t1 interrogations had 30 questions, but all other prisoners had only 15? so yeah, we'll be going with 15 questions to make my job easier jdkdldld.
most questions were taken from the canon interrogations and i came up with some questions as well.
these interrogations will reveal some info about the prisoners, like their families, friends, interests, what they did before arriving in milgram, etc. most questions and answers aren't that deep, however, some of them may reveal something about their crime that hasn't been mentioned in their mv or voice drama. it's up to you to figure out how important their answers are though <3
now, if you're wondering, can these characters lie in their voice dramas and interrogations?.. yes, they can. it would be too easy if everything they said was true, don't you think so? don't worry though, what they say is true most of the time and some characters will be completely honest with you.
(divider link)
Q.01: Tell us about your family.
Akio: Me, father and mother. I'm an only child.
Aimi: Dad, mom, grandma, grandpa, my big brother and me! I love all of them a lot!
Q.02: Do you have any pets?
Akio: A pet hamster. Mother got him for me because she wanted "to help me feel less lonely" or something like that.
Aimi: Two dogs! They're so big and fluffy, I love them!
Q.03: Are you in any school clubs?
Akio: I left archery club after the president had to transfer to a different school and others refused to let me take his place because "I was too young". I wanted to join a different club but.. other students wouldn't let me for some reason.
Aimi: I tried to join many clubs in the past, but they always either had "too many members" or I was told that I should pick a different club that would be better for me :')
Q.04: What's your type?
Akio: I'm okay with anyone who's loyal enough to follow me everywhere and do everything I say. If they praise me a lot, that would be enough for me to become interested in them. I just want someone who can see how talented I really am.
Aimi: Huh, I've never thought about it before.. Honestly, I think I'd just want my partner to be my best friend too. It would be nice if they could protect me in case something happens, haha..
Q.05: Can you speak any language other than Japanese?
Akio: English and Korean. My mother is half-Korean, so I guess it's one of the reasons why it was easy for me to learn it.. It's not like I'm not smart enough to learn it without anyone's help!
Aimi: No :(
Q.06: Are you closer with male or female prisoners?
Akio: I hate all of them, but I always end up spending a lot of time with Kuroki for some reason. Guard 001's older brother also keeps trying to become friends with me. So.. Male prisoners, I guess? Talking to female prisoners is boring anyway.
Aimi: I'm friends with everyone here!.. Well, at least I hope that they think of me as their friend too. I want to be friends with you as well!
Q.07: Would you call yourself a good student?
Akio: I was the best student in my class, I thought you knew that.
Aimi: Not really :(
Q.08: What's your favorite food?
Akio: I didn't have much time to eat because of school, so I guess I'm okay with anything (something is crossed out) my mother cooks.
Aimi: It's hard to decide.. I'll go with sakuramochi!
Q.09: Do you have any hobbies?
Akio: .. Shouldn't studying be enough?
Aimi: Origami and watching movies with my big brother! Drawing is very fun too, though I'm not that good at it.
Q.010: Did you have any friends before Milgram?
Akio: Of course I did, didn't I tell you I was the most popular student in my school?
Aimi: .. I want to believe I did.
Q.011: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Akio: Someone famous and respected.
Aimi: I've never thought about it before and I don't really care.
Q.012: Are there any prisoners you can't stand?
Akio: Most of them, but especially Hanasaki and Yano. Himura is annoying too.
Aimi: What are you talking about, I love all of them!
Q.013: Do you have any special skills?
Akio: Honestly, the fact that someone as perfect as me exists can already be called a special skill.
Aimi: I don't think so? My classmates always told me that I'm good at making them laugh though.
Q.014: Would you say that your mental health is good?
Akio: I heard some guys from other class say that I'm so narcissistic, they thought there must be something wrong with me. Their words don't bother me, but the fact that my parents agree with them does worry me a bit.
Aimi: Umm, maybe? I wouldn't say I'm depressed or anything like that.. I have a loving family, two adorable pets and lots of friends, why would I be sad?
Q.015: Between ethics and emotion, which do you prioritize?
Akio: Emotions are useless and ethics don't matter to me. I just do what I think is most logical.
Aimi: I think both of them are important in their own way. I hate to say it, but sometimes I'm not the one who controls my emotions and it's actually my emotions that control me.
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once again. plagued bu 1.0 WoL thoughts !
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#owen plays ffxiv#no yeah no I’m a big obssessed with her being deep in the aetherial sea—how she is a keeper and guide to the souls there#the ones lost along the way—the ones stuck in the depths with no intention to leave#she is the Keeper of the Mother—the warden of the souls of the deep#she’s an odd little shard of azem—maybe the truest expression of charon in a fashion#what she ultimately becomes as shepherd to the everlasting dead#she will be the last to fade into oblivion along with the aetherial sea#the last light. the last sound in the universe before it all Ends#it was a role she took with her free will—hydaelyn gave her a choice to return or to endure in some manner of her choosing#gosh a lot of my 1.0 WoL’s death has informed her life sjdjdjdjd#but when eyrie died in UT she caught their soul before it could fully sink#and how she cradled them. this familiar spark#the one which set her free of bahamut#and she could not forsake them—not this soft light so alike to the glow of her own soul#she tethered them back to their flesh. knitted the ties together once more and bade them Live#she would not see them again until their correct time#utterly changing topics but she minds Amon and Asahi—even in their most wretched depths she sees them#watches their rage and despair and hopes one day time will soothe their hurts or time will wear them both to dust#scattering their aether to nothing to become everything#they will never again be people#but yeah ! i love making my own silly lil dress up dolls all deeply connected to each other sjsjdjd#endwalker spoilers
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It's been wonderful being able to talk about these things for me too! I haven't really had the opportunity since Y7 came out, so I'm positively buzzing. And no worries about the tone of your post about Daigo's article haha, I appreciate it when issues are pointed that I might've missed otherwise since that's at least something actionable.
But I'm obviously not going to stop anyone from venting frustrations with the wiki or with Fandom as a platform; I frequently find myself frustrated too! It's one of the things that keeps people editing the wiki. I'm honestly fine with whatever as long as it's not accusing us of being fujoshi for the billionth time lol, but for better or worse I do like to clarify what we're trying to do if there's any confusion.
Speaking of, Mine's relationship tags are kind of a funny story! So a lot of them have these dotted underlines and question marks, right? You're supposed to be able to hover over underlined terms to see a short definition (on desktop) and click the question mark to see an article with all the definitions on mobile, since hover actions aren't possible on a touchscreen.
But since the article was and still is under construction, Fandom doesn't show the link to logged-out users. So I had no idea it just looks like we're saying the tag is ambiguous lol. It's up now though, so it's hopefully easier to understand what we're trying to do!
I just found it funny I specifically added that feature to reduce confusion. Half the grief we get over Mine's "romantic interest" tag is because people assume we're saying it's mutual (we chose the term to try and avoid the "mutual" connotations of "love interest," but I guess that didn't work out). I also thought it might help with somewhat esoteric tags like "co-parent" (which was put in place for Jo and Arakawa and then I kept thinking of others) and "surrogate son." Turns out it's tough to boil complex relationships down to one term!
I definitely have SO many questions about New Year's Day and I probably always will; for the space of only one night, it's a huge blank. I certainly do have to wonder if shipping Masato off to America was decided then and there. There's a lot that could possibly be expanded on in RGGO (further interactions between Arakawa and Jo included lol), so I've got hope for that too now that we're back to random events. I'd be really interested to see how you'd portray it someday!
Talking about Nakai and Tsutsumi reminded me, Nakai mentioned he read the whole script in a day so he "wouldn't do a disservice to Arakawa or Sawashiro's characters." That kind of stuck out to me precisely because there are so few scenes between them compared to like, Arakawa and Ichi, and they're all relatively low-impact in comparison.
Of course, it could be marketing on account of him and Tsutsumi getting to co-star again, or the scenes could simply have stood out to him more for that reason, or he could've had a different impression of the ratios having read the script rather than played the game. But the part of me that makes me want to go Off The Deep End speculating is kind of wondering if there were other scenes planned?
And absolutely! I'm not able to reblog often because the post editor's been crashing whenever I try to tag my posts, but I hope you know I love your work and I'll support pretty much anything you put out! I'm very excited to share my findings as well.
A lot of it's to do with Mine's relationship to Western culture vs. Japanese culture (his "westabooism," basically), so that's specific to him, but there a lot of interesting concepts and theories in Japanese psychology regarding familial bonds, met and unmet emotional needs. They work as an explanation for his probable feelings of alienation from Japanese culture, but I feel they would make for an interesting lens to examine the Arakawas through as well.
I actually hadn't ever considered the similarity with regard to Mine and Jo's dads, but that makes so much sense! If I were to take it a step further, I think feelings of "abandonment" by their fathers have had long-lasting effects on both them and Masato. Jo we've been talking about, his father was technically still "there," but he wasn't in his corner, which feels much the same as abandonment to a child.
I think Mine's internalized a lot of the same feelings even though his father never meant to abandon him (I guess Jo's may not have, necessarily; alcoholism can destroy a family whether the individual wants that to happen or not). Like, unfairness, displacement, lack of control, the loss of the only support you have and so on. I think dwelling on that is what sent Mine's mental state spiraling, and what made it imperative to just believe Daigo was "dead" to try and move on as soon as possible. He didn't want to be hurt the same way again.
It's also probably what he was projecting in his ridiculous villain speech during The Orphanage Scene; the reason offering kids support in the way Kiryu does is a form of "victimization" in his eyes, at that moment, is because that support can be ripped away from you at any time. The scene is kind of hilarious to me because it's like, "okay we need Mine to have a kick-the-dog moment, his actions have been too understandable," but I do get it from that angle.
Similarly, I think those feelings of abandonment are why Arakawa faces the brunt of Aoki's abuse, because it's like, "YOUR negligence is why I had to go through all of that." So I get why Jo, like your sister, wouldn't want the finger pointed at him, but at the same time… damn. Perhaps if Arakawa had never had that talk with Masato, things might've been different. I get the impression he wouldn't be able to endure keeping things to himself for as long as Jo, though, given things like the letter he sent Ichi in prison.
Oh, yeah, Jo is CRAZY protective of Masato too! "If anything happens to him, killing you a thousand times would be insufficient!" I think part of his overreaction to having Masato's money is also that if Ichi can't listen to orders that fundamental, who's to say he listened to the orders to keep Masato safe? I guess if you see Ichiban as incompetent to the point of almost being a malicious actor, you might think that.
I'm sooo so glad you've noticed the rest of those similarities haha, I've been rotating them around in my brain like a cube for ages. A Venn diagram would be so fun to see! That's such an insightful look at the differences between Mine and Jo's offices too. I was a little confused about the placement of the social spaces, or even that they're there, but if you look at it as clearly separate from his personal spaces, it does make sense.
Also, not to harp on the books in the offices too much, but I compared the textures a little earlier. Mine's are basically all (very expensive) encyclopedias and language phrasebooks in English, Italian, French, and German, in contrast to Jo's discrete hardcovers and series of art history books. They're probably all stock assets lol, but I think they're surprisingly good fits; Mine dumping considerable time, money, and energy into his fascination with Western culture and Jo being the type to not want people to know what he's reading totally works for me.
But yes! It's kind of funny, because Yokoyama wasn't much of a Mine fan in his early days, but I hope he and the others keep on writing characters like him. I think of it as Mine's "legacy" in a series where past characters aren't acknowledged too often; the most I can recall are that Hakuho mention in 4 and the fencing around the Touto roof perimeter.
Speaking of, I love Mine's missed shots in the finale specifically because he's an excellent marksman in his Okinawa character story. Why? How? Who Knows, He's Perfect. (Probably not as good of a shot as Daigo though lol)
And yeahhh, there are other interviews, but it ain't the same! It was the most in-depth one I know of. I think this is one of the only remnants, and I shall entrust it to you.
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But yes, exactly! And I'm also glad Y7 introduced more people to them (myself included), Tsutsumi's my favorite actor of all time and Nakai's brilliant. They make a great combi! Of the things I've seen where they co-star, I think Princess Toyotomi and Hero SP are both solid; the latter is a special for a longer show, but I honestly didn't even notice lol. Musashi I wasn't personally able to get through even though I've read the book, so I'm not sure how it plays out between them.
Also I DIDN'T KNOW TORU DIED IN PURE??? That came out of nowhere oh my god T___T But if you're ever looking for anything rare, feel free to ask! I might know a guy (gender neutral) with a stash, Fly, Daddy, Fly included.
OH MAN MINE'S WIKI ENTRY I've definitely made my opinions about it known, but now knowing the truth behind it it's kind of funny and still so unfortunate. I'd almost want to recommend a section dedicated to the topic since it's such an integral part of his character, though I also understand wanting to keep the wiki strictly to factual information and to exclude speculation (or "speculation" anyhow- it's definitely more of a concrete situation, especially going off of the information provided in your pinned post on the topic. If anything, that sort of information would belong to the "Trivia" tab wouldn't it- but again, it's such a deep situation it can't really be summarized in one or two sentences) and the topic being too niche to have a page dedicated to it. It's nice to know that the subject isn't trying to be brushed under the rug though and it's just a matter of awkward formatting/incomplete work!
Furthermore on The New Years Event, I would LOVE RGGO to expand on the topic since they've been so liberal with the stories they make and the depth those stories add to the characters. Honestly, I was expecting Masato's card to have that as its accompanying character story, so it's unfortunate that he doesn't get it or any story as far as I'm aware (or maybe he does have one and my poor pull luck has just prevented me from getting the card to find out myself, but I've looked as much as I could and couldn't find an upload of it). Oh well, I guess it's the old "if you want something done you gotta do it yourself-" not that anything I could make could ever be up to scratch, so I'm glad I do have people interested in what I have in mind :)
About Nakai, I wouldn't feel wrong trying to accredit his comment to a time before he knew the full plot or saw the full game and was just debriefed on the general story/character relationships, and I also wouldn't put it past RGG to have deleted scenes/ideas (if those do exist, RGG please let me in your vault I'd like to take a peak...)!
The psychology of Mine is another topic I've been wanting to officially tackle for a while now, so I'm glad I have this chance to share some of what I have mental bullet points for.
Moreover, Mine's dad and how he "left" Mine undeniably impacted him significantly beyond physically leaving him alone, and it definitely manifests in The Orphanage Scene and his idea that killing Daigo would be "putting him out of his misery". In those instances, he sees Daigo and the orphans as victims of an unfair reality, Daigo being comatose, and the orphans having the endure the struggles of being orphans (and that added-on, projected anxiety that their comfortable lives now could vanish at any second like it did for Mine). Mine's mustache-twirling villainy is funny for its absurdity, but I also genuinely appreciate it since it lets us peak into his warps philosophy better. It doesn't justify his actions by any means, but it explains to us why he can justify his actions as from a place of love or pity as opposed to thoughtless evil.
To add on, Mine's relationship with his father, from what we're allowed to gather, was healthy and positive. Because of their positive relationship, the removal of such adds credence as to why Mine's desperate to get that love again. It especially makes sense considering Japan's horrendous attitude and negligence towards orphaned children that was even demonstrated during Mine's childhood while his father was alive.
And as an inverse aside, Jo's relationship with his dad was toxic, whether it was due to blatant abuse or combined negligence. It's fair to assume that Jo never got to experience genuine, secure love growing up, so as a result, it's not something he actively seeks out. He's been without it long enough that it's not something he necessarily craves like Mine who used to have it until it was taken from him.
Masato certainly makes it clear he felt isolated despite the efforts Jo and Arakawa repeatedly went through for him, and it's apparent it's an unfortunate side affect of internalized ableism. It definitely doesn't help anyone's case that Masato had seemingly been informed of the night of his birthday's events (from Arakawa's point of view, obviously), and it's clear that knowledge gives ammunition as to why he resents him.
You're right on Jo potentially seeing Ichi as a bad actor, it's not as if he has disdain for him for no reason! Like even if Ichiban hadn't taken Masato's money the way Jo could have imagined, the idea that Ichi can't be responsible in one avenue can easily lead back to Ichi having the potential to look after Masato, especially when he seems to be the one who predominately looks after him when he's tasked to.
I've already got my program open to make my little chart and have my reference pictures ready, so hopefully I can have that silly thing out soon haha- I'm glad you're interested in seeing it, and I hope other people will like to see it too! Jo and Mine really are my favorite antagonists, so it's funny (and I guess not surprising) that they have parallels to them.
To add on to that though, I think it's fun to look at the extra details, no matter how small; I'm probably more happy than I should be that you looked at their office's books, but I can't help be a fan of the details you found (whether they're generic models or not, I'm running with them- I've done more with less before lmao)! Mine having language books is definitely in-line with his interests, but Jo having art history books is weirdly endearing (and dare I say another point for "these are the same picture" comparing it to Mine's own love for art). Jo being so private to the point of blocking out the binds of the books he owns is so accurate to him and his secrecy, and the concept that he likes to read about art in his spare time is a new favorite concept for me.
Mine really isn't acknowledged much after 4; in comparison to Ryuji and Nishiki, he's remembered throughout the series the least (you can argue the same for Ryuji, but considering he gets a whole new life in Dead Souls, I think it's fair to say that makes up for the mainline series forgetting about him. Though I guess the same could be Mine getting a prominent role as Hijikata in Ishin... Definitely not as cool of a spot as to be a playable protagonist with a machine gun arm if I'm honest). In that, it's great that his likelihood can exist in future characters, and I hope they continue the trend of phenomenal antagonists in LaD8 and onward!
I'm eternally grateful for this frame you've gifted me thank you so much- Nakai's smile is such a blessing honestly, I'm glad if anything survived from the interview it can be this shot at least.
I've got Princess Toyotomi and Hero SP added to my watch list, DEFINITELY something I'll be excited to check out as a reward once I have all my important business taken care of this week! Honestly, I haven't seen Musashi either: while I was looking through their filmography I saw it was a project they did, but I've always been bad at watching long series so I didn't take the time to see their performance together.
For things I have seen though... yeah he dies SORRY IF THAT WAS HOW YOU FOUND OUT </3</3 Honestly I didn't expect myself to love the series as much as I did (admittedly it was predominately because of the leads and their relationship), but when it happened I was both- dare I say crushed- a little humored a little funny in a dark-comedy way.
And if you do have access to harder-to-get films, I'd absolutely be interested in hearing about it. One of Nakai's movies Good Morning Show has been haunting me for weeks: it sounds like such a fun movie yet I can't find it anywhere </3
#long post#fave#i have to fave these now because i be putting my essay notes in these OOPSIE#snap chats#the state of the arakawas is probably one of my favorite things to explain to people BECAUSE its so complicated#i showed my sister the ending of Y7 despite her not knowing anything about the series since i was talking about how upset it made me#and i tried to explain the whole family situation since it was relevent#just... yeah so the guy in blue was put in a locker by his dad and then he got saved by another guy#and he did that because he thought the guy in blue was his kid- who is actually the guy in red#because /his/ mom put him in a locker because of yakuza business and she couldnt take care of him#but now dad-who-put-a-baby-in-a-locker came back so now he co-parents alongside the guy who took his baby#but theyre not together they just. raise 'their' kid but the other guy doesn't know that his co-parent is the /actual/ dad#i know i already made a parody of it but it genuinely has the set up to some goofy slice-of-life manga i love it ☠️☠️#its SO funny to try to explain its easy to understand if you put it down on paper or write it out but to verbally do it 😭☠️☠️#moving on tho i'd love to know more about that japanese psychology bit#im asian myself and tho obviously not all asian cultures are the same they overlap#so im curious to see if i can recognize any of the issues i notice in my own culture with that which can be applied to the arakawas + mine#the bit on his western idolization is something im interested in too ! esp based on the books in his office it could be an interestin topic#man i just keep looking at that interview picture and it really does have the energy of a proud dad and his son#maybe thats just because nakai's smile reminds me of my dads#but yes yes thank you again for writing it ! i know i keep saying it but i cant stress how nice it is to take this extensively#especially because not only do i learn a bit more and learn some details i missed but it also helps me expand my own thoughts#that i hope to make into bigger posts#on that note though i have one more quick post to make after this one then i have to tend to some of that Important Business..#and thank you for being a supporter of me and my work ! sometimes i get a bit self conscious about it#i know i post a lot too and i never expect people to interact with my things so im grateful for the knowledge you enjoy it !
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randomnameless · 1 year
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Looking at some stuff for a plotbunny of mine, I incidently noticed this 
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and in the jp version
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With the expected differences in delivery and tones but bar that -
Rhea here is acting as if she knew what Jerry wrote in his diary, and is surprised her bro found out !
(Did she read it already, or knows what it’s about?)
I’ve already supposed during WC, in general (and after her Seiros the Warrior stunt), Rhea ultimately thinks the world needs Sothis, because she cannot guide it to prosperity like the Goddess most likely would.
Still, because Rhea hasn’t completely given up on Fodlan yet, unlike Lehran, she still cares and offers her help to everyone around.
Rhea felt ��safe” enough, at one point, to abandon her hair dye and use her real hair colour (maybe her real name too?), even if that used to spell certain doom a thousand years ago.
And then, she read Jerry’s diary.
And learnt why Jerry ran away, because bby!Billy isn’t “natural” and how it made him afraid. Especially afraid of her, someone who saved his life, someone he knew and worked with and apparently had a good relationship with for at least 300 years.
Of course the game follows this course, the second Billy becomes green Rhea is more and more insistent on making them sit to bring Sothis, because red herring and all -
But what if Jerry’s reveal also participated in her general feeling of hopelessness and resignation, at how only Sothis can save the world now?
People might be seeking Nabatean parts for power (breaking in to steal Seiros’s bones and actually the SoC?), people knowing they can find “power” in Nabatean blood, people knowing her niece has “special blood”, gross experiments using Nabatean parts (demonic beasts, even if they are using artificial crest stones), old enemies resurfacing in her own home (Solon) and now, that.
It’s not the final nail in the coffin (i suppose kind of similarly to Dimitri, Rhea’s final moment of despair is the Holy Tomb, aka humans really seeking Nabateans parts for power + a Hresvelg!) but she grows more and more desperate, the probability of another Red Canyon happening grows higher with each passing month -
The world is going to fall, someone she thought she could call an ally died, and lo, that someone had never been her ally (at least not for the last 21 years) - she needs Sothis more than ever now and oopsies, her brother finally catches on her plans -
Imo she’s less pissed (lol) than surprised, but ignores him because from the moment Billy started to show signs of Sothis awakening, Rhea became an ostrich, putting all of hopes for a good resolution of the situation on what Billy represents - people know Flayn is a Nabatean and are hunting her for her blood? Seteth’s first reaction is of course to gtfo away, and hide again, because he knows what will happen if she stays, Rhea most likely knows it too - but it’s alright, because Billy is here.
Billy, who might or not be Sothis at this point (for her) is here so there’s no need to panic !
And yet, the world really start to spiral in a narrative she knows too well, a narrative she cannot stop (but doesn’t try to stop either?) and so she fuels all of hopes on Billy and the chapter 11 revelation.
With the added twist that unlike last time - when Nabateans were alone against Nemesis’n’pals - now she has allies, so maybe Zanado won’t happen and they have more “time” than what they thought...
But no, imo Jerry’s diary really hurts Rhea because it’s not like his death deprives her of an ally, but it’s more like Jerry’s diary reveals he has never been an ally to start with -
(add CS to give her another blow with Aelfric, her child, who tries to kill her)
I know Rhea already knew Jerry found her “frightening”, but I don’t think it’s because he knew she was a Nabatean, more like she knew he thought she was stupidly strong, and sometimes has to act stern’n’scary befitting her role
Jerry finding bby!Billy not “natural” and running away from Rhea could only mean, imo, to her, that Jerry found out his baby wasn’t human and ran away from her, who isn’t human either. Unlike Willy and the Adrestians of back then, the second Jerry finds out she’s not “natural” like his baby, he bails out on her.
In other words, a person she thought highly of and respected/loved/called an ally/friend would have left her in a heartbeat (lol) if he ever knew the truth about her.
Ultimately, Jerry’s diary to Rhea, in the course of the game, cements the “we cannot trust humans because they will turn on us the second they know who they are” feeling she had 1k years ago - then dropped - then believed in again - then re-dropped.
Humans are out for their parts, Nabateans cannot trust humans -> only Billy as Sothis can save them now. 
That could explain why she hyperfocuses on Billy - beyond a mere wish to see her mother again - Billy/Sothis is the only person able to thwart a cycle that starts to replay itself and ended, last time, with the Red Canyon.
As for Seteth’s reaction...
He came to trust Billy, but wonders what they are, and asks Rhea what she did to Billy, unaware - at that point, that Billy is supposed to be Sothis.
When he finds out (after Supreme Leader’s stunt) he has his anwers, as expected, Rhea really tried to rez Sothis he is annoyed, but what is done is done but moreover...
Now understands what has been going on in her head, and how desperate she is (something she later confirms) and what she wished for, Sothis to bring order back to the “wayward land”.
Seteth accepts to help Billy - and it is revealed, given how deferent he is to them in SS and follows their choices, that he actually shares Rhea’s wish, maybe not to see Sothis return, but Billy, her avatar, to guide the land. Imo, given some of his own lines, Seteth too believes in a better world guided by Sothis, but unlike Rhea, even if he despairs at the current state of Fodlan with wars and what not, he isn’t yet at that point where he gave up on humans and Nabateans and a world where Sothis isn’t here - the second she appears (or her avatar) he undestands and follows her lead, but if she’s not here? He’ll try to manage and do his best for Fodlan...
Something Rhea did, but then stopped believing (or not? 12 vessels in 1100 years isn’t the sign of her being completely desperate, despite what we’re told) and believes again.
It’s kind of fitting with the Nin dev interview from 2020, Sothis is the Progenitor God to Nabateans, and they believe she can make the world go back on the right rails again.
However, Seteth still thinks/hopes/believes that even without her, Fodlan can go round, something Rhea doesn’t anymore, at least during that specific moment the game is set in, and before Billy receives their “revelation”.
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