#yes i still love this game | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jemmo · 3 months

Text

Making sense of love for love's sake: the game

Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:

'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'

And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".

When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.

And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.

And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:

"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable." "It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."

Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.

"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile." "Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?" "Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."

And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.

"I don't like talking about destiny." "Why?" "Because it means everything is predestined." "Then do you not believe in fate?" "Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." "Really? Then Myungha..."

And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.

And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.

And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.

The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.

#wow look at me writing actual kinda thought out meta #also something something about how the pen being in his pocket wasnt a pen given to him by the author its a pen that was his the whole time #look even if this isnt the right interpretation as intended by the author i just kinda adore this headcanon ive come up with and i cant wai #to rewatch the show again through this lens and see if it holds up #i just adore the idea of this whole thing being this manifestation of a flawed doubtful person trying to navigate through their own messy #nonsensical thoughts to find their own happiness #bc yes thats what triggered me thinking of this whole thing. me seeing that post and thinking yeah that doesnt make sense7 #but then again when you tell yourself things an put your own mental blocks in the way they dont make sense either but you still have to fin #the ways to work around them in order to find happiness #like those things dont go away we just find the loopholes or the ways to overcome them that mean we can be happy #the game is your own mind - deal with your own existential crisis as you wish #anyway this is only part 1 in what i hope will be a very extensive meta analysis of this show - stay tuned #love for love's sake

195 notes · View notes

universal-verringbebe · 2 months

Text

The LADS if you ask them to be rough with you

No one asked for this but I was trying to sleep and this idea invaded my last brain cell and I couldn't rest until I wrote it all down. Enjoy my wild thoughts.

18+, MDNI, explicit

Zayne: The Dom

• He's taken aback by your request at first

• "I thought my kitten enjoyed getting pampered"

• His piercing eyes seem to see right through you even if you're blushing and trying to avoid direct contact

• He asks you if you're sure and once he gets that confirmation, his whole aura seems to darken

• "Strip"

• He kisses you like he's taking control of your whole body through your lips and tongue

• Hand gripping your face while the other touches your body as he pleases

• Picks you up like a ragdoll and tosses you on the bed, ordering you to not move

• And when his own body is bare, he wastes no time in holding your legs open

• "You don't need anymore preparation, right kitten? You seem wet enough to take all of me in one go, so make sure you do so"

• When he penetrates you, its with a hard thrust that knocks the breath out of your lungs and he doesn't stop to let you catch it

• Just when you're getting accustomed to the harsh pace, his large hand finds a place at your throat, skillfully stopping the blood flow to your head

• You're overwhelmed and he's whispering in your ears with that seductive voice of his

• "That's right, this is what you wanted, isn't it?"

• "Just take it all darling, let go"

• You can feel the high of your orgasm coming up, at the same time feeling lightheaded as his hand continues squeezing your throat

• And just when you start to see black spots creeping into your vision, he releases you and gives you one final thrust that sends you over the edge

• He holds you until you come back to your senses, wanting to make sure you're alright

• "You're such a good girl for me, rest now kitten"

Xavier: The Possessive One

• When you ask him, he takes a moment to look at you, considering

• "My princess seems to want to change things up. Who am I to deny her?"

• He walks towards you, like a predator to prey, backing you up to the wall, caging you in

• His lips are hungry, his tongue a weapon in your mouth, devouring you

• You're so lost in the kiss, it catches you by surprise when his hands suddenly grip your night gown and rips it in two

• "It was in my way"

• "I'll buy you a new one princess"

• His mouth travels your body, biting harshly and sucking at the skin, marking you in all the places he's the only that will see and many in places others can as well

• Makes you suck on his fingers before plunging them into your hole, fucking you on them until you're at the edge of an orgasm.

• He pulls them out and bends you over the table, pulling your arms behind your back and using them as an anchor as he slips inside you and fucks you senseless

• "Might just put a baby in you, wouldn't you like that?"

• He forces your body to meet every thrust so you can feel him as deep as possible

• Leans his body over you so he can whisper in your ear that he's going to fill you up so good, you just need to take it

• And when you both cum, he uses his fingers to push any that comes out back into you

• "Can't waste any of this now, can we?"

Rafayel: The Sadist

• "Oh? Baby girl wants to be a slut today I see"

• "Maybe she should earn it"

• He would push you on your knees and guide your mouth to his cock

• After a few shallow thrusts to warm you up, he pushes it as far as it would go down your throat, enjoying the sounds of you gagging

• He face fucks you until he feels close before releasing you, admiring your abused face

• Tells you to get on the bed on all fours and to arch your back so he can see everything

• He takes his time looking at you before delivering a harsh smack to your ass, your whimpers sounding like music to his ears

• "You can tell me to stop anytime, but I can see how wet you are already baby girl"

• He thrusts into you without warning, before pulling out and spanking you again

• He repeats that process several times and then he's pulling your hair to drag you to his chest, finally fucking you fully

• His hand reaches around you to pinch your nipples, the slight pain adding to the intense pleasure you're feeling, your head forced back and neck exposed to his teeth as he still has a grip on your hair

• The orgasm that slams through you causes your whole body to tremor, his thrusts stuttering as he cums with you

• "We should absolutely do that again, you take every thing I give so well"

#love and deepspace #yes im aware my favoritism with zayne is obvious BUT WE DESERVE IT FROM THE LACK OF SEXY CONTENT COMPARED TO THE OTHERS IN GAME #but i hope i also did the other two justice #i just have so much brain rot rn over them #also tell me xavier wouldnt have a breeding kink. its in my head rent free #and raf can def be a sadist considering his hot and cold feelings with the mc #most likely a masosadist but still i stand by my headcanons #love and deepspace zayne #love and deepspace rafayel #love and deepspace xavier

199 notes · View notes