#yes that means the zero tag is zero zero lmao

[the-dragon-girl-27]

More old art i forgor to post

yeah

#oc #ito zero #not much to say its just ito as the shinji chair #meme art #oh yeah i finally started tagging my ocs its (character name) zero #yes that means the zero tag is zero zero lmao

[yardsards]

>.> (hunter and blight twins sibling relationship in darius blight au? thoughts?) <.<

i mentioned some of these headcanons in the previous two rambles but i'll take this chance to put the stuff together and maybe elaborate further on some stuff plus a few new headcanons:

hunter and the twins in general:

-they're a little wary of him at first. they don't have the personal baggage with him that amity did. it's more like, just normal needing to adjust to a new step-sibling. like, their family life was already so weird and then stuff got upended with a divorce and their dad's personality basically pulling a positive 180. and then, just as they were starting to get used to that, there is just this guy and his SON who is so awkward and maladjusted just being thrust into their lives. like they'd talked before in a "this is my dad's boyfriend's kid" context but having to have him there as their *brother* all of a sudden is just A Lot (it's like when you introduce a new cat into ur household and you gotta put it in the bathroom so the other cats can smell it through the door lol)

-there's no big moment that makes them click and become friends, more just them slowly all warming up to one another the longer they're forced to be in each other's presence

-hunter is a little on edge around them early on cuz he can tell they haven't really accepted him yet. but also he kinda looks to them as role models and examples of how he should act in this new family structure. bc his main two responses to unfamiliar circumstances are either "look to SOME kind of authority figure for guidance" or "completely withdraw and refuse all help", and this is a situation that calls more for the first reaction. ed and em barely know anything more than him about healthy families but his only other option (aside from their dads, but he's looking for peers to emulate) is amity. so, twins it is.

-he also sometimes clings to them in social/school situations, if none of his flyer derby friends are available

-when the twins finally start to accept hunter as their brother, they start affectionately teasing and pranking him like they do to amity. hunter doesn't understand this At All and is like "oh no, i thought we were doing so well but now they hate me???" and the twins are like "huh, wonder why he's acting even weirder and more nervous than usual. probably just shy about being accepted as our brother now." they all figure it out eventually.

-i WOULD say it gets fixed after hunter opens up about the twins "hating" him to amity or one of his dads and asks for advice. or that he'd at least be able to simply ask the twins what their problem is. but no, he wouldn't be at that point yet, still partially convinced he needs to handle his problems alone, or that whoever he told would hate him too, or that the twins would be pissed at him for not figuring out why they hate him for himself (darius had been helping him unlearn some of that and he's prolly even in therapy but this stuff takes a long time to unlearn). hunter tries to figure it out on his own before eventually breaking and either A: apologizing profusely to them and begging them not to hate him B: lashing out angrily. it ends up okay in the end, though

-as he gets more comfortable with things, hunter doesn't need to cling to the twins anymore. but he still hangs out with them cuz by then he genuinely just likes them as people

-someone at school once referred to him as "the third blight triplet" as a dig at him hanging around his siblings so much. but he wasn't offended, he was actually super happy and flattered about being included with those two.

-he once briefly considered dyeing his hair green to match theirs but after thinking about it, he firmly decided against it. because something like hair would end up feeling less like the intended "matching to show you're a part of the group, like when some best friends all have matching necklaces, or when a team has matching uniforms" and more like he'd be making himself into a copy of them. which would not be good for any of their emotional wellbeing.

-i mentioned that i think the twins would eventually stop getting into so much trouble once they realize they don't have the same strict rules to rebel against and don't need to act out to get attention. but sometime before that but after they befriend hunter, they invite him to go cause mischief with them. a bit because he's their friend now and that's their idea of having fun with friends, a bit because they think some rebellion would be healthy for hunter

-hunter actually agrees. a little bit from peer pressure, sure. but also a part of him kinda needs to rebel, after being so controlled by belos his whole life. and there's also this unhealthy part of him that's unnerved by how non-abusive his new family is and wants to push limits until someone finally snaps (he can't yet fully accept that no matter what he does, no one is gonna snap and hurt him)

-it's something pretty tame by the twins' standards. like, adding some graffiti to an already heavily graffitied alleyway or something. but hunter is having such an adrenaline rush. the twins feel proud of themselves for helping their high-strung brother let loose

-but then they get home and the reality of what they did fully sets in for hunter and he starts Freaking The Fuck Out and finds the nearest dad and confesses and starts profusely apologizing and begging for forgiveness (he accidentally rats the twins out in the process but it's fine because their dads are too busy focusing on calming down hunter to even consider punishing them. still though, they put that down as a second reason to not rope hunter into any more Shenanigans any time soon)

-the twins do decide that they still do need to teach him how to rebel, though. they just decide to stick to things that ARE allowed at home but weren't allowed in the emperor's coven. they egg him on into doing things like taking a nap or helping himself to snacks in between meals or putting off his homework and chores til after dinner instead of doing them as soon as he gets home

-his presence destabilizes the pre-established "the twins are A Unit (that their other sibling is not a part of)" dynamic that was going on with the twins and amity, and indirectly leads both emira and edric to develop closer individual relationships with amity. like, the twins were kinda already beginning to forge their own identities, and they had been getting closer with amity, but his presence accelerated that.

-before any of this, the twins had never really had any close friendships, outside of each other. like, they've had casual friends and romantic flings but no one they could truly be vulnerable around. and almost all of their friends were friends with *both of them as a unit* rather than with them as individuals. again, they were moving towards having their own identities and their own relationships, but their new family situation helped speed up the breaking down of their dependency, and emira and edric start trying to make some close friends of their own, outside of the family

hunter and edric:

-these two are absolute besties

-hunter claims to be the responsible one out of the pair but edric has had to hold hunter back from doing dumbass shit almost as many times as hunter has had to hold back edric. sometimes they balance each other out, other times they just amplify each other's very different flavours of stupidity.

-them fully being besties starts after edric and emira make it their mission to get hunter to break as many belos-rules as possible. edric hears that hunter was forbidden from studying or talking about wild magic. so he decides to get hunter talking about wild magic. and hunter starts infodumping and then apologizes and edric encourages him to continue. at first it's just to encourage rulebreaking but edric very quickly gets invested in what hunter's saying, as he has an interest in wild magic himself

-and something hunter says gets edric talking like "oh that reminds me of this beastkeeping principle" or "that's kinda like this lesson eda gave me" and he goes off on his own infodump

-which reminds hunter of something else he read. and the cycle of them just taking turns infodumping continues for HOURS. it only stops because of some outside factor like it being time for dinner

-from then on, these two just schedule time together to infodump at each other or to study their mutual interests together

-they've invited emira to these sessions before, but she inevitably gets bored after the first 20 minutes, so it's just brother time (amity has gotten involved once or twice, but usually she's not got much interest in joining them)

-edric starts bringing hunter along to his potions-and-wild-magic lessons with eda

-edric is a big people-person and hunter has been isolated and ignored for most of his life so having a best friend be right across the hallway is good for both of them (i mean, edric already had emira as a best friend living with him, but having more than just her is good for him)

-one might worry that edric would just go from being dependent on emira to being dependent on emira *and hunter* but. that doesn't happen. it instead teaches him how to be more independent. his time alone with hunter combined with his time studying beastkeeping and potions in canon show him that "hey, i can do things without emira and still be okay" which later brings the conclusion "i can probably do things without *anyone* and still be okay." he's still very extroverted and prefers not to be alone too much, but being alone is no longer his biggest fear.

-it is important to note that edric doesn't stop spending time with emira or replace her with hunter or anything. he's still got a very special friendship/sibling bond with her. but now he's spending time with her (sometimes alone, sometimes with hunter or amity or their dads, sometimes in social settings with friends) because he genuinely enjoys her company, rather than because he's scared to be alone and needs her.

-at some point it dawns on edric how hunter hardly ever got to act like a child, so he makes it a goal to fix this and gets amity and emira involved too. they make a plan to get together every so often to introduce hunter to things like snowball fights and pillow forts and cartoons on the crystal ball. the og blight siblings (but especially amity) realize that they were forced to grow out of that stuff too early by their parents, so these fun little sibling hangouts are good for all four of them

hunter and emira:

-emira is quick to be nice to him (he is sad and scared and sickly and she is a healer and has Eldest Sister Syndrome) but is slower than the others to fully Trust him (she is habitually cautious on amity and edric's behalf and he's a new person and (though he already proved he was 100% not loyal to the emperor/not Like That anymore) she heard how he treated amity at eclipse lake)

-in those early days when hunter is kinda clinging to the twins for guidance, he clings harder to emira than to edric, because she acts just a little bit more sure of herself that edric

-in some ways this endears him to her and gets her to trust him faster.

-but it also kinda bothers her because having ONE brother clinging to her all the time already felt suffocating, she doesn't know how she'll deal with a second one. he at least doesn't bring the same "being considered a matched pair" baggage that edric did, but still.

-hunter stops clinging to her (and edric) as he gets more comfortable and less nervous about life. and edric is no longer glued to her side almost 24/7 when they're at home, because now he's got a brother to hang out with (or sometimes he hangs out with amity because, as mentioned many paragraphs ago, he and emira have both forged their own close relationships with amity)

-emira's really relieved to have some alone time to figure herself out, and to not have the constant low-level stress of people needing her all of the time

-but she is also Afraid. hunter doesn't need her for guidance anymore. edric doesn't need her constant company anymore. even amity doesn't need emira to protect and take care of her anymore (because now there are actual adults to run to). she worries that, now that no one *needs* her, no one will *want* her anymore.

-her fears prove unfounded as nobody stops hanging out with her but she's still a little worried. but she tries to push those feelings down/hide them. but edric notices something's up because they've spent 16+ years together so he can recognize when she's hiding something. so she opens up to him and he reassures her that he still likes her (in a way, moreso now than ever) now that he isn't so dependent on her, and he's always happy to spend time with her. there is probably a little bit of crying and/or hugging involved. with edric's encouragement, she also opens up to amity and hunter about it and they also reassure her.

-emira and her siblings (but especially her and edric) have a big 4-way talk about what they all need, and how to make each other feel included but not suffocated. surprisingly healthy and responsible communication between all of them.

-it's good for her, to have more time alone without any of her siblings. sometimes she just enjoys the quiet or figures herself out and explores her own interests. sometimes she uses it to make friends outside the family, to befriend them as *just emira*, rather than as emira-and-edric or as emira-and-edric-and-hunter

-hunter (grimwalker) and emira (twin) bond over feeling like a copy of somebody else. edric can kinda also relate but he's not as distressed about it as emira and hunter are

-hunter and emira (and occasionally edric) like to hang out by putting on skin care face masks (hunter learned to enjoy them from darius long before he became a blight) and complain about life or commiserate about their emotional Issues. or just watch low-budget movies and mock them relentlessly

-but a lot of their friendship, when no one else is there to bring the energy, is just kind of a quiet deal. hanging out in the same room doing different things, like cats do. or doing little favours for one another. like, hunter will braid emira's hair and emira will heal the scrapes and bruises hunter got from flyer derby practice

-emira is the first family member that hunter is comfortable receiving physical affection from (aside from dadrius, who earned that honour way back when their family was just himself and hunter). i just Feel It In My Heart

bonus hunter and amity headcanon:

-they like to go to the library together. for amity, it's sometimes to do her job, sometimes just to read. for hunter, it's to be able to finally read all he wants about wild magic without having to be secretive about it. sometimes amity will help him get books from the forbidden stacks (after asking for permission from the head librarian- she learned her lesson from that one time with luz.) eventually, she trusts him enough to let him into her secret hideout. he's allowed to use it anytime he needs to, on the conditions that he doesn't snoop through her personal belongings, and that he'll get out if she needs to use it to be alone

#eliot posts #toh #the owl house #darius blight au #<look that tag up on my blog if ur wondering the context of this #i love how MULTIPLE people have gotten invested in this au that i originally made up as a joke #we all came for the shitpost stayed for the possibility of sweet family dynamics (and occasionally Wacky Hijinks) #brady bunch but all the kids are traumatized and also two of them did kinda try tokill eachother once #and one of the parents was just an awful parent until recently #and with a marriage that makes absolutely zero logical sense #i am having a fun time with this au #yes everyone is a lil ooc but i mostly just go with what i think would be sweet or funny :P #update: the IRONY of the fact that i was just reminded that this post was sitting in my drafts and i was meaning to publish it #by seeing and reblogging a post absolutely dunking on canon alador #lmao #aladarius

[electriccenturies]

fucking hate this site still but i need to express a few things about mcr mikey way and nowhere else to do it so... here i am

1: glad to see mcr in their rat era. in fact my note to gerard would be to up the rat content by a significant amount. also sell that shirt that just says ‘rats’ cause i’ll go to great lengths to buy one

2: mikey singing along to flw like... this is an evolution from it being written about him, to him and ray high fiving at the shrine, to this :’) love seeing him 8 years sober and his illness treated and him being HAPPY and confident <3

3: have been saying for 10 years that mikey is every bit as unhinged as gerard, if not more, and now ppl are finally seeing it lol. it’s subtler bc gerard leans tf into being weird while mikey seems to either not know or not care, but he’s Weird af. ik yall thought it was frank or maybe gerard but it did not surprise me one bit to hear that mikey was responsible for the tramp stamp shirt bc that dude loves a reference, loves that MCR is so beloved, and also i just think he genuinely loves shit like that lol. thinking about smodcast and gerard going ‘well you see, he used to dress like a prostitute’. mikey doesnt do sexual shame ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also dont want to get into this too much but while im airing my mikey thoughts and people already hate me... the whole ‘MiKeY kNoWs A gAy PoRn AcToR?!?’ bit is so old and such an obvious example of why the whole cishet mikey thing is actually super regressive and not funny. ik people are gonna be like ItS a JoKe but for real, saying that liking sports and wearing hats and tank tops makes someone straight sucks! y’all will believe that gerard is gay because he kissed a few dudes in public, and mikey was out there grinding (sorry, slow dancing) with dudes, cuddling with hey chris, getting sappy poetry written about him by pete wentz, etc, IN PRIVATE and you cannot imagine he’s bi because he says ‘bro’ or whatever? stop acting like ‘gay’ is a personality!!! idc if you think its harmless and “funny” it excludes a lot of people, escalates the bullshit fem/masc dichotomy, and contributes to a culture of people thinking they have ‘gaydar’. it also shows that you know nothing about mikey because it legit wasnt a transformation besides the hats, he’s always been like that. he’s liked sports and wrestling since he was a young kid! he’s always been very social and into parties! they’ve never hidden this! you just didn’t know because he’s quiet!!! and he actually seems to care a lot about his clothes even if it doesn’t look like it, you just cant handle it because you preferred how he dressed in his 20s. im not even mad about this on a mikey level because i doubt he cares i just hate it on a “this is a really backwards view of queerness that is being passed off as progressive” level

4: very into the flipping the script with the peppa pig thing. like mikey always has made weird random references that nobody except gerard gets (and gerard is usually pretending) but this one??? fully relevant and topical, and he justified it TO gerard while everyone else got it. idk this isnt really funny or cool or anything i just think its Sweet. bc i love that he works on word association like that and i love him being understood

5: not new with the shows (actually, not new in any sense, he’s been like this Always as far as we know) but i will forever love mikey for having a very clear idea of what he thinks is fashionable and not giving a fuck if anyone else agrees. hell yeah dude, you keep wearing what makes you happy!

#i have no followers and this is straight up a ramble about mikey so #just gonna drop more feelings about the references i guess #in the tags #because i love him so much for it #like im specifically thinking of that interview where the guy asks if he's the 'elf' because he's not wearing #'festive black' like the rest of them and like he obviously means 'christmas elf' #and mikey goes 'oh yeah this is my lord of the rings outfit' with ZERO hesitation #thats also the one where he gets called 'the new guy mike' lmao #conch shell was a reference too like i know its funny and sounded dumb but it was very much a lord of the flies ref! #its just that noone picked up on it because why tf would he be talking about that??? #i mean it makes sense to me but my brain works on word association too so yeah desert island -> lord of the flies makes sense #but it was not relevant and it was a Bad answer lol #'you bring coconuts too mikey' #anyway just one more #theres a super old radio interview where gerard says 'salad days' and mikey goes #'roy rogers fixin' bar dude!' #he hears gerard say salad and immediately is like YES AND FROM THIS PARTICULAR RESTAURANT TOO #anyway lol mikey was so important to me for the last 10 years of my life and now i have Feelings again like damn i just love watching #that dude do what he loves and living his dream and finally getting the appreciation he deserves/not being wildly mischaracterized #because fans cant separate mental illness from personality #oh ok last thing for real because i think its hilarious #those pics of fans with gerard wearing his 'i dont want to be in a picture and if u make me i will be unrecognizable' clothes #incredible

[onesidedradiostatic]

(After the Respectless Reprise)

Velvette, calling Vox on the phone: VOX!!! End this stypid debate once and for all! What was the color of your turtleneck when you took that damned picture with Valentino?

Vox, picking up the call: Uh... What now?

Velvette: Some of your crazy "fans" cropped that stupid picture I took of you two near his desk with your monitors! They've been going crazy at the color of your stupid turtleneck in the leaked photo

Vox: Right right.... and..... This is my problem because....?

Velvette, muttering under her breath: I swear to god... this is just like that stupid dress thing all over again.....

Vox: The what now?

Velvette: Forget it! Your old arse wouldn't even get it anyway and we don't have the time! That stupid thing blew out of proportion!!! It's been trending on Vitter for Hell's sake so you better do something about it!

Vox: Vel, I don't see the problem. It's just a color for something that happened a long time ago. It shouldn't even matter.

Velvette: Well it does matter because demons—not even just sinners, Vox— have been going at each other's throats about this for hours on end just for the sake of their fanart consistency!

Vox: Fanart consistency?

Velvette: Oh for fuck's sakes, Vox— Aren't you connected to your network right now? You should be able to see just how bad it is in there!!

Vox: Mhm... yeah, yeah... well..... right...

Velvette: Vox. Are you listening to me right now?

Vox: *noncommittal hum* Yeah..... That's better...

*Velvette pauses for a moment before a look of realization crosses her face*

Velvette: Wait... Don't tell me your at your Alastor shrine again instead of at your office?

*Clatter clatter CRASHHH*

Vox: *cough cough cough* H-Huh? What? NOOOOooo... No, no I'm not. What are you talking about Velvette?

*Velvette side glances at Alastor still silently having his mental breakdown before moving onto Lucifer fiddling with his tie and cane as he refuses to meet anyone in the eyes*

Velvette: Yeaaah.... Right.

Vox: A-ActUALLY!! I was just about to go there. To— to my office I mean. I mean, I just came from an important meeting after all!! Yes, a very very important meeting. With uh.... About– Sinflix! Yes, yes Sinflix. You know how that annoying little parasite has been taking some of our profits with all their 'free services' shtick that we've been losing money in the other Rings.

Velvette: Right. Right. (I don't care)So... your turtleneck color?

Vox: RIGHT!!! *Ding ding ding!* Yeah, about that I uh....

*Side glances at the scarce remains of his closet that was once full of multiple variations of turtlenecks colored red, orange, yellow, and even blue. Some of them actually being striped. There was a sell in one of the secondhand-me-down shops if you buy in bulk back in the day when he first fell into Hell. And he wasn't one to pass up a bang for your buck. Unfortunately, he also had to burn a lot of them after Velvette joined team to avoid her wrath. And now he can't remember which one he wore during that picture*

Vox: Well... About that, I don't.... actually remember?

Velvette: You don't sound so sure of yourself.

Vox: Well, the picture itself is faded so some of the color has changed. Not to mention the lightning.

Let me ask Tino if he remembers.

(I hope you enjoy this. Someone please sedate me)

oh my fucking god (reference to this, and this, and the turtleneck discourse is just this entire fucking tag. basically we've been spending the last 2 days debating about vox's stupid fucking turtleneck)

literally everything being referenced is giving me fucking whiplash HELSPGKOS vox himself getting into the debate because he doesn't remember is hilarious

only thing I will have to correct there is that vox does in fact own netflix in hell so it's voxflix not sinflix

considering maintagging this and putting it out into the wild with zero context (until they check the links)

EDIT:

misunderstood whoops here's the clarification LMAO

#ask #osrs.txt #hazbin velvette #hazbin hotel velvette #velvette #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #vox #radiostatic #staticradio #onewaybroadcast #vox's stupid fucking turtleneck #respectless anons #lucifer's commissions saga #am I really tagging 3 of these in a single fucking post holy shit

[thecreelhouse]

tramps like us

Paring: Gator Tillman x Fem!Reader

Summary: As spring arrives, Gator learns just what family really means— blood or found, the hard work of healing finally begins to pay off, and a new chapter you never expected, begins.

CW/Tags: fluff. so. much. fluff. , hurt/comfort, language, brief smut (oral, f receiving, dirty talk, etc.), brief internalized ableism, mentions of alcohol/weed, found family dynamics, did I mention this chapter has fluff?

WC: 10.6k

〘 series masterlist ✧.┊this is a sequel to part time soulmate, full time problem ✧.┊listen to the series playlist here. ✧.┊read on AO3 〙

A/N: so excited we’re finally at this chapter!! I wrote the sappiest part of this first before anything else in the whole series lmao, and I’m so excited to share it with y’all 🥹 thank you as always to anyone who has supported this series so far!! love y’all ♡ (also if any of y’all can spot the very vague sopranos reference I will (consensually) blow u a kiss xoxo.)

chapter 5 ✧.┊

home - edward sharpe & the magnetic zeros

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

⋆｡♪ home, let me come home / home is wherever I’m with you / ah home, yes i am home / home is when I’m alone with you♬ ₊˚.

·············································

It’s the start of spring, and the city is abuzz with a fresh start of a new season; not much is in bloom yet, but there’s a mood shift in the house as the days grow a little longer again. It’s amazing what a little extra daylight can do for one’s mental health.

Over the following few months from when he first moved to Brooklyn, Gator finds his way in this new life. While he still struggled with finding a new career path to start on, he helps out at the bookshop, but you’re convinced he’s doing it to spend more time with Lovebug.

Regardless, you’ve enjoyed watching him come out of his shell, find his way and become his own person, even if just a little bit.

Ever since he lost half his eyesight, Gator had countless visits to the doctor. More often than not, he’d ask you to come along, and naturally, you’d always join; most of the time there wasn’t much you could do beyond giving him support, but he was more grateful than he ever showed. 

He never had to say it, you knew he still struggled with expressing most emotions, especially towards others. It might’ve been easiest showing the raw side of his feelings to you, but that didn’t stop his insecurities completely. It’s something Gator was working hard on in therapy, and though it wasn’t easy for him to believe, you reminded him constantly of the progress he was making.

Slowly, with your support, he was beginning to believe it, too.

In the tail end of winter, the cast on his arm was removed; his bones thankfully healed with ease. The bandage over his eye was next; the first time you see the now empty socket, despite telling yourself to not make a fuss, you’re in shock.

The nurse removed the bandage for the doctor to examine Gator’s healing progress, then carefully takes out a thin, plastic shell from the socket. He explained to you weeks earlier how it was implanted immediately after the initial surgery to keep shape of the eye socket while healing.

You stood off to the side, eyes wide with a dropped jaw. 

Gator catches your expression with his good eye as he sits on the exam table, throwing a dim smirk your way. “See, told ya’ you’d think I’m gross.”

The doctor steps back while the nurse leaves, giving the two of you space and privacy.

“Huh? No, no way. It’s just such a… jarring change, obviously much more jarring for you than me, but I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” Your hand rested on his face, the side of the removed eye, thumb soothingly running along his cheekbone. 

“Eyes or no eyes, you’re still you.”

“Shoulda’ known you’d be corny about this,” He teased, earning an eye roll and breathy laugh from you.“You don’t think I look—“

“Whatever negative thing you’re ‘bout to say ain’t flyin’ with me. I love you, no matter what. So you should love you, too.”

“Alright, cool it, Sunshine.” His smirk this time was a little brighter. You stood close as your hand slipped into his; you gave a tight, quick squeeze.

With the lapse in conversation, the doctor, an older woman with kind eyes and a warm smile, returned. “Everything looks good, Gator, it healed nicely, and faster than I anticipated.”

“Got lucky t’have a good friend that’s a nurse. She helped lots.”

Hearing Gator call Ivy his friend set off a bloom of warmth in your heart. It was the first time he called anyone in the group a friend. That alone was huge progress.

“Well, she sure knew what she was doing!” Even her laugh was warm and inviting. “Have you had any phantom pains?”

“Nah, but it kinda still feels like it’s… there? That probably sounds weird.”

“Not at all, that’s rather common after surgery, too. Some folks have it for a brief time, others have it for much longer. If it gets to be painful, though, call and we’ll check it out.” The doctor watched as he nodded, adding, “Any questions, or anything we might’ve missed?”

Gator was quiet, leg bouncing while anxiety built up. He wouldn’t know until he asked. Again, you squeezed his hand; a sign he wasn’t going this alone. “S- so, what’s next? I’ve been kinda curious ‘bout one of those… y’know… uh…”

The doctor caught on immediately, “Well, that’s up to you, Gator. You can leave it be, or try an eye patch, or we could discuss the option of a prosthetic eye. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“Does a fake eye just… pop in there?”

“We’d have to give you surgery again, it’s a permanent implant that’ll hold the prosthetic properly, help it move along with your existing eye—“

“They move?!” 

The doctor didn’t laugh at him, but her smile grew at his surprise. “It’s not perfect, but yes, it’s meant to appear as natural as possible. The pupil wouldn’t adjust according to light, either, but most folks can’t tell unless they really give your eyes a good, long look.”

“C- can we try that?” He didn’t hesitate like you expected from previous conversations. He sounded… hopeful. Cautious, but hopeful.

“Let’s give you another month, just to be safe on the healing, and then you can come back so we can figure a plan out. Sound good?”

“Sounds great,” He breathed as his smile brightened even more.

On the walk home, his smile never faded. This was the most optimistic he was since he arrived.

“Y’know, if this works out, I won’t look like a total fre—“

You stopped in your tracks before pulling him aside, out of the path of irritated fast walkers. “Gator, with or without a prosthetic, you’re not a freak. I support whatever you decide, and I can only imagine this would help you feel more comfortable about the entire situation, but you’re not gross, or a freak, or any of that shit you’ve been saying.”

He fidgeted with his glasses like he was adjusting them. It’s a habit he recently picked up. “Yeah, but—“

“Nope. I’ll annoy the shit out of ya’ and remind ya’ every day that you’re wonderful, no matter what.”

“Wonderful? You’re pushin’ it, darlin’.” He snorted, deflecting. You grabbed his hand, softening his features as your fingers laced in his.

“I mean it, jerk.”

“Not sure I can believe ya’ when you say it like that, but okay.” He glanced down before stifling another laugh.

“What? What’s funny?”

“Ya’ stopped here on purpose, huh?”

Your face scrunched in confusion before you follow his gaze down; beneath your feet was a set of large, bold letters, reading ‘you look lovely’ spray painted onto the pavement.

“You’re really outdoin’ yourself with the cheesiness today.”

“I swear I didn’t see this,” You laughed, shoving your hand against his shoulder playfully. “But ya’ better start believing it. Totally some weird sign you should be nicer to yourself.”

“Or what? Gonna threaten t’kick my ass and not do anythin’?” He taunted while he poked his tongue out, continuing to walk on. You opened your mouth to argue back, but closed it again, grumbling as you caught up to him.

“One of these days, Tillman, m’gonna show ya’ I can pack a punch,” You smirked before rethinking your words. “Not- not like saying that as an actual threat, I don’t- I’m not gonna actually—“

Gator pulled you into his side while he snickers, “Oh, ya’ totally are, now I gotta sleep with my only eye open.”

It took a second for the joke to land, but once you started to laugh, he felt the tiniest bit of weight lifted from his shoulders.

A prosthetic wouldn’t instantly fix the trauma from losing his sight, but it could be a step in the right direction to help him feel comfortable in his own skin again. Maybe feeling comfortable could help him face the trauma with a little more courage.

As Gator listened to your syrupy sweet laugh, he knew one thing was certain— that he’d never have to carry this weight on his own, and he’d never have to fight his demons alone, either.

·············································

It takes time— while the flowers are beginning to bloom in April, pastels coloring into the city while fragrant, sweet scents linger in the warm air weaving among and between the city’s grid— but Gator finally begins to feel like he belongs among everyone in the house.

He still struggles time to time, but with his own self doubt, not with anyone in the house. The first time he finally feels like he connects with someone in the house, without you, is the day Ty comes home from his top surgery.

You bound down the stairs, excited to greet Ty and Ivy in the foyer; Ivy’s got an arm linked with his, taking their time to enter the house. They shuffle in like an elderly couple, making you giggle.

“Ives, I got top surgery, I’m still able to walk. My tits might be gone but my legs are right here.” He complains as you stifle more laughter while pursing your lips.

Throwing your arms out, ready to hug him, he shoots a death glare, stopping you immediately. He sternly warns, “Sunshine, don’t you dare. I don’t have airbags to protect me from your bone crushing hugs anymore.”

“Right, sorry,” You smile bashfully with a shrug. “How ya’ doin’ after that?”

“Well… aside from the pain and the whole gross ‘draining the void of where my tits once were’ thing, I’m alright.” Ty grins tiredly, unlinking arms with Ivy as he carefully makes his way into the living room. He bumps into a recliner on the way, and Ivy curses herself for letting him walk alone.

“You know… it’s not the healing from surgery I’m worried about with Ty, it’s the fuckin’ pain meds— he’s clumsy enough when he’s sober.” Ivy groaned, watching him like a hawk as he settled himself onto the couch slowly, but thankfully, with ease.

“I heard that!”

You stifle a laugh before calling out to Ty, “Need anything from the kitchen?”

His face lights up, “Ice cream? Please tell me it’s still in there. Big tub, has my name on it.”

“No, I ate it all,” Jinx deadpans as she walks out of the kitchen and towards the stairs.

“On god, Jinx— ”

“Dude, I’m joking.” She replies before heading upstairs. “Welcome home, by the way!”

Ty grumbles under his breath, “Man, ice cream’s nothin’ to fuck around about.”

While Ivy helps Ty build a fortress of pillows for him to sit upright on, you head into the kitchen to find Gator putting dishes away. You come up behind him, about to wrap your arms around him, but panic, wondering if it would startle him since his peripheral vision was limited now.

As you pause behind him, he laughs, “Hi, Darlin’,” before turning to face you.

“How’d you know I was gonna hug you?”

“I can still hear, y’know.” He jokes, holding his arms out to you. Face heating up, you feel embarrassed, but you still enter his embrace, burying your face into his chest. “And see enough.” 

��Yeah, but I didn’t say anything.”

“Footsteps, everyone’s got their lil’ sounds, you shuffle your feet a lot, like a penguin.”

“Oh. Duh. Right. Wait, like a what?”

He laughs, tugging you closer as he glazes over your question. “How’s Ty doin’?”

“He seems okay overall, just sore. I can only imagine how relieved he must feel, though. He wants ice cream so I’m gonna grab some.”

Gator releases you, shrugging as he says, “I can get it.”

 “Oh, hey, you don’t have to.”

 “I wanna… if that’s okay.”

Surprised, you respond, “Yeah, of course.”

It’s not that there was any negative energy between anyone and Gator, but he’s been having a hard time feeling like he belongs with you all, feeling like he’s invading a space he shouldn’t be in. Everyone’s been sweet and patient, though, and slowly, Gator’s been opening up and feeling like he’s part of this family.

You lean against the counter, peering out of the doorway into the living room as Gator gives a hesitant wave to Ty before handing the ice cream over. Once Ty gives a looped up, yet welcoming, “Hey, thanks, man,” you watch Gator’s shoulders relax.

Ivy heads back into the kitchen, mirroring you as she leans against the counter, too. Softly, she confides, “Ty was saying on the way home how cool he thinks Gator is.”

You snort, “Really? I mean, that’s sweet, but he’s definitely a dork like me. Probably more than me.” You look on as Gator slowly grows more comfortable in conversation, leaning back in the recliner. 

While Ivy chuckles, she shrugs. “Maybe, but I think Ty’s been kinda looking up to Gator lately.”

Your brows furrow, taken aback. “Huh? Why?”

“I think watching Gator make progress has been helping Ty in his own way… helps him see that he can lean into his masculinity while not giving into the toxic side of it all, y’know?” Ivy smiles while she crosses her arms over her chest, leaning back further. “Your boy’s a better person than he realizes.”

“Don’t I know it.” You sigh, smiling, but it never reaches your eyes. “Wish he did, too.”

“He’ll see it someday. He seems a lot happier since the first day he got here.” Ivy observes, glancing over to you with a soft expression. “It took a bit for you, too. For all of us, really. We were all a little lost, looking for a safe place to heal, and each of us has a success story, and a real family, too. Gator’s no different.”

“Christ, Ives, I wish I had a dollar for every time you made me cry in the damn kitchen.”

Ivy pulls you into a side hug with a soft laugh; the two of you continue to be nosy, watching Ty and Gator continue conversation.

“Does it… does it hurt?” You overhear Gator asking Ty, resting on the couch— the velvet green couch Ty’s been asking about for years now— all looped up on pain medication. Then he quickly adds, “I mean that’s- is that a dumb question? It’s definitely a dumb question.”

Ty shakes his head, “Nah, man, not dumb.” He thinks for a moment before adding, “It does hurt, but the pain was worse with ‘em, if that makes sense.”

Gator nods, “Yeah… like, emotionally, you mean?”

“Uh-huh,” Ty responds, spoonful of ice cream muffling him. “But binders? Jesus Christ, I thought bras were bad, but you wear one of those too long, you can really fuck up your lungs and ribs and shit.”

“Wait, seriously?” Gator’s genuinely shocked by this; living in a house with some diversity has made him willing to learn from others, even in the form of obvious questions. “Shit. At least you don’t gotta worry ‘bout it anymore, right?”

Ty laughs, not cruelly, but over Gator’s innocence asking questions and wanting to learn. He jokes, “I’m a free man now. Minus this annoying ass chest compression bullshit. I wanna rip it off, but Ivy would murder me.”

Ivy, much to Ty’s dismay, enters with you at the wrong time. “Damn fucking right I will, Ty. Last thing you need is bleeding out all over Mama’s couch you want so badly.”

You sit on the arm of the chair Gator’s in, leaning down to kiss his head. It’s brief, but Ty still catches it, grimacing with a muttered, “Ew. Gross.”

As you flip Ty off, Gator, with a snort, grabs your hand and shoves it down. “C’mon, don’t be a jerk-off.”

“When are you two gonna get married?” Ty’s question comes out slurred from being heavily medicated. 

Your eyes go wide while Gator chokes on air, but Ty’s unfazed, moving onto his next thought already.

“Ives, y’think if I bleed on the couch Mama would finally give it to me?”

“No, Ty,” Bea chuckles as she walks in. “Nice try, though.” Ivy’s in stitches while you crack up, too. Even Gator stifles a laugh.

Ty glares at all of you.“What’s a guy gotta do to have a fancy ass couch?”

“Outlive me and see if I put you on the will for the couch, kiddo.”

“Bea!” Miles gasps as he shuffles in from the front door. He’s about to close it behind him when Flor barrels in, flinging the door open again. “Jesus, Flor, run me over, why don’t you?”

Ivy ignores the exchange as she retorts, “Oh, c’mon, Miles, we all have our fair share of dark humor in the house.” 

“Yeah, but I wasn’t expecting that as soon as I got inside.” He mutters, then side-eyes Flor, “Or get murdered by Flor.”

“It wasn’t intentional! I didn’t wanna miss the gifts!”

Jinx returns, “Flor, shut it.”

“Gifts?” Ty’s brow quirks at Flor; she cringes at the slip of her tongue.

Ignoring the banter, Bea slips into the hallway before returning with a gift basket for Ty. She sets it in front of him on the coffee table, and as he leans over to open the packaging, Ivy dives in front of him, successfully blocking Ty from bending when he shouldn’t.

“Ivy! C’mon, dude!”

After Ivy scolds him for bending when he shouldn’t she helps him open the packaging, rummaging through the contents. The basket’s filled with snacks, including a few edibles, a travel pillow for his neck while he sleeps upright, some necessities for healing from any medical procedure, a few of his favorite movies— “Ty, you would like ‘Fight Club’,” says Miles, ignoring the glare from Ty.

Everyone chipped in for the basket, but there’s a few special gifts left. One’s a box from you; a crocheted mesh top— “Sunshine, this your handiwork?”

“Y’needed somethin’ new for your club nights,” You grin as he holds it up. “No point in top surgery if ya’ can’t spend the rest of your life half naked.”

He chuckles, absolutely whacked from the meds, muttering, “Can’t wait to be a slut in this,” The room erupts into laughter, aside from a happy, quiet grin from him.

Jinx speaks up, handing over a gift certificate for her tattoo parlor; the amount is left blank. “I couldn’t put it in the basket, but whenever you’re ready for that chest tattoo you’ve been wanting forever, you let me know, ‘kay?”

“Wh— Jinx, that’s a lot to—“

“Seeing you happy in your own skin is more important than dollar signs, kid. Just say the word and we’ll get started.” 

Ty grows quiet, staring at the basket as tears build in his eyes. He thinks for a moment before speaking, hoping his words don’t come off like they’re fueled from the meds. “Thank you guys… for everything since I got here. I feel like the luckiest guy in all of Brooklyn with the best family in the world.” He rubs his eyes, then laughs a little. “I’d hug y’all if I could, hope it’s okay to rain check those.”

“As soon as you’re fully healed, you’re getting bone crushing hugs again from me, buddy.” You smirk, earning an eye roll from him.

Everyone expresses their love back to him, along with well wishes and speedy recovery. Eventually, one by one, you all filter out, except Gator.

You leave, giving Gator a soft squeeze on his shoulder as silent support before heading back into the kitchen. Again, you can’t help but be nosy, easily able to overhear their conversation.

“Hey, uh, Ty? I’m sorry I didn’t have anythin’ cool for ya’,” Gator’s voice wavers a bit, nervous to break down another barrier with letting new people into his life. “But, uh, not t’be all sappy n’ shit, but if you ever need a friend, or need to talk about guy stuff, or whatever—“ Gator laughs at himself. “—I don’t know how to say it without soundin’ dumb, but don’t be ‘fraid to say somethin’, okay?”

Ty lazily beams at Gator, “If I wasn’t so fucked up right now, I’d have a better response, but that means more than y’know. Thanks, man.”

You watch on while Gator’s smile grows, your heart growing along with it.

·············································

May arrives, and Gator gets his second eye surgery; this time, it’s to implant the structuring for his prosthetic eye. Just like Ty coming home from his surgery, Gator’s welcomed back with well wishes and love from everyone in the house. 

Everyone asked Gator in the weeks leading up to the surgery if he needed or wanted anything to make his recovery process a little easier, but he kept insisting he didn’t need anything.

One day, you asked him why he kept turning everyone’s help down, but he just shrugged and said, “I got a safe place to recover, with you and everyone else. I got everythin’ I need, darlin’.”

While his answer was heartwarming, you were determined to do more, getting everyone to brainstorm an idea to chip in on.

After another monthly family dinner, you slide a card over on the table to Gator. His brows furrowed.

“What’s this?”

“Won’t know ‘til ya’ open it, now will ya’?” So, he does.

Gator looked down at the comically large ‘get well soon’ card, face bright as he read over everyone’s personal well wishes added into the card. Inside was a plain envelope, to which, again, he reminded the group he didn’t need anything. 

“We still wanted to do something nice,” Bea spoke up at the other opposite end of the table. “You deserve it.”

Hesitantly, he opened the envelope, and with one glance inside, his eye widened, brows flying up in shock.

“What— I don’t understand,” Gator looked around at everyone, baffled.

“Sunshine here mentioned how crazy fucking expensive just the surgery alone was,” Miles clarified as he nodded to you. “We thought maybe this would help ease up on the amount you need for your new eye.”

Gator’s face dropped, completely caught off guard by the generous gesture. He looked down into the envelope again, finding cash and checks; he knew he should accept the gift, but immediately he felt guilty at the thought.

“Y’guys didn’t have t’do anythin’,” He murmured as everyone sat together in the dining room. His uncovered eye was glassy with emotions ready to spill over, while the other side is covered with a new eye patch for the healing process. “This is… really kind of y’all, but I- I can’t take all’a this.”

Then, he looked to you while your hand was in his. “Y’didn’t have to make everyone—“

“I didn’t make anyone do anythin’. It was Ty’s idea,” You smiled over at Ty. 

Gator looked over his way, “Dude, this is- it’s really kind of y’all, but you didn’t—“

“We didn’t have to. We know. We wanted to.” Ty simply answered.

“I- I don’t get why, though. I definitely don’t deserve this.”

“You do, though. You deserve to be cared about,” Ivy chimed in. “Because that’s what family does. We take care of one another.”

The dam breaks, but not before he held the card over his face in one hand, one that shook as he began to cry. Really cry. You only got to see this side of him; Gator was always so careful to never let his walls down with anyone, because he hated the way his father treated him when he did. It was drilled into his head since he was a kid that ‘men don’t cry’, so he just… didn’t.

It wasn’t until you came back in his life and reassured him constantly it’s healthy and normal to cry shit out. It’s normal to get emotional during the bad, and the good. It’s only human nature, and he shouldn’t be shamed for what’s just basic instinct.

You squeezed his hand to give some comfort, while Ty couldn’t help speaking up.

“You better pick the coolest, fanciest fake eye in the world, man.” His lighthearted comment pulls a laugh out of Gator through his tears; you’re grateful for the comedic relief, watching Gator relax as he continued laughing.

“Okay, kid, only if ya’ help me find one.”

“Deal.”

The rest of the night was spent at the table, catching up with one another while Gator continued to thank everyone, still in absolute shock. It’s all he could talk about when Bea asked her monthly question of what everyone was grateful for, but it wasn’t the only thing.

“M’grateful that y’all have been so kind. I ain’t the best with words, but y’all have shown me more love than my own family ever did—“ He paused, glancing over to you; again, to reassure him, you squeezed his hand and shot a warm smile. “— thanks, y’all… for givin’ me time t’figure things out, and makin’ room for me in this family.”

Bea patted her tears away with a napkin before leaving her chair to come over to Gator. “Get up, kid, you’re not making me cry without a hug.”

As Gator hugged her, you glanced around the table at everyone, mouthing a ‘thank you’.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the house that night.

·············································

It’s an incredibly warm evening for mid-May; Miles, being the movie enthusiast he is, suggests breaking out the projector for a movie night on the rooftop.

Except no one can decide on what to watch.

You all bounce ideas around while lazing around the living room; if Ivy wasn’t working right now, she’d totally back your movie choices.

Doesn’t help that Ty’s napping, so whatever you all choose, both him and Ivy will have to deal with it.

“What if ya’ did a game night instead?” Gator’s sitting on the couch while you lay back against the couch’s arm, legs hanging over his.

You look up at Gator, eyes wide while you shake your head, “No, bad idea—“

“Oh, that could be cool!” Flor is giddy with excitement, kicking her feet from her spot on the ottoman. It doesn’t take much to amuse her, honestly. “Sunshine, you still got Mario Kart, right?”

“Well, yeah, but we probably shouldn’t p—“

“We got all those extra Switch controllers too, pretty sure it’s up to 4 player.” Miles grins, movie night a long forgotten idea. “Too bad no one else has a Switch, ‘cause we could’ve linked ‘em up for everyone to play at once.”

“Four players is more than enough, don’t push it,” You grumble as you sink in your seat with a sigh. “Fuckin’ hell, someone’s gonna end up bein’ thrown off the roof.”

“What? C’mon, it’ll be fun. Don’t be a brat ‘bout it.” Your face feels hot; it’s meant to be innocent, but Gator realizes what he said before he smirks at you. You frown while you pinch his side. “Hey—“

“Fine, we’ll do that instead, but if anyone ends up with their feelings hurt, don’t get mad at me.”

“C’mon, Sunshine, we’re all adults here,” Jinx snickers. “Clearly, Gator knows how to have fun more than you do. We might have to revoke your nickname and give it to him.”

You throw your head back on the armrest, groaning in frustration “First my cat, now my friends, what else ya’ stealin’ from me, Gator?”

He grins down at you, “A kiss?”

“Y’all are too sappy for me, I’m out,” Jinx leaves, while Miles cringes, following Jinx.

Flor hangs back for a moment, only to tease, “So, when’s the wedding?”

“Oh my god,” You cover your face in your hands while you feel Gator tense up under you. “Flor, consider your ass kicked in Mario Kart later.”

“You’re terrible at it. Gator told me. I thought I saw the worst but you’re bad bad at it. So, good luck with that, Sunshine.”

As she leaves with a shrug and a smug look, Gator softly laughs. “Would marryin’ me really be that bad?”

Your hands drop to lock eyes with his. “No, god, no, I- that’s just— don’t you think it’s kinda early—“

His smile doesn’t falter while he holds your hands in his. “I’m only teasin’, promise. I know that ain’t your thing, anyway.” It’s a sliver, a hairline, but the hint of sadness still hangs in his words. He changes the subject anyway, “We should grab stuff for later, you wanna come with?”

You nod with a slight smile, unable to take your mind off of his reaction.

Marriage really was never appealing to you, not with anyone. Still isn’t.

… Or, at least you thought.

————

Everything’s set up on the rooftop; there’s inflatable chairs, an air mattress, bean bags— basically anything soft is scattered about the roof for everyone to get comfy. There’s two coolers of drinks, one for alcohol, one for non, while pizzas and snacks are scattered around a low table in the middle of you all.

The projector shows the home screen of your Switch, ready to start up Mario Kart, while everyone decides on who’s going first. The conversation, naturally, gets sidetracked with ease; you bring the heated debate over to the rest of the group.

“Okay, fine, we’re settling this once and for all.” You make your way to the air mattress, some kind of cider in hand, kicking off the controversial question with your best friend. “Ives, pop or soda?”

“What th— is this a trick question? Soda, obviously.”

Gator’s not far behind, sitting next to you on the air mattress, cracking open his go-to, shitty beer of choice. “Ivy—“

“Don’t even try, Gator. I was born and raised on the East Coast. It’s soda.”

“So much for our growin’ friendship, damn.”

“You asked the wrong person. Sunshine’s my best friend, what’d you expect?”

“Fine,” Gator huffs. He glances over at Ty, who’s sprawled out across a long bean bag. “Hey, Ty, ya’ got my back on this one, right?”

“I can’t have this conversation again,” Ty instantly starts laughing with a shake of his head. “Sorry, man, it’s definitely soda.”

“For the love of—“ Gator turns to Miles, next to him on a beach chair, “Aren’t you from the Midwest too?”

Miles shoots an apologetic smile, “Tennessee ain’t the Midwest. The South just calls it coke.”

You’re confused, “Like… all soda?”

“Pop—“

“Gator, no.”

“Yeah, not sure who decided on that, but I hate it,” Miles laughs with a shrug. 

“See, that makes no sense. What do ya’ do when you want a root beer?” Gator’s perplexed by this, and honestly, the whole group is.

“It’s like…” Miles glances at the pizza boxes on the table, “If someone asked what kinda’ pizza you want.”

“So it’s just assumed everyone wants soda—“

“Pop—“

“Gator, I dare you to go to the bodega down the block and ask for a pop,” Jinx snickers, and of course, unable to turn down any challenge, Gator sets his drink down before starting to get up. You tug him back down by the hem of his shirt.

“She’s— don’t actually do that.” You stifle a laugh. “I mean, ya’ can, but you’re gonna be clocked as a tourist instead.”

“I’d rather be a tourist than seriously call somethin’ water ice. The fuck is that?”

“You take that back!”

“Ivy, that’s a Philly thing,” Flor pipes up among her giggles.

“And Jersey!”

“And we’re… where, Ivy?”

“Miles, you used to think the state of New York was only the city. Don’t even try me.” 

“Okay, but Ives, Gator’s got a point, what the hell is a ‘water ice’? It’s one or the other, for fucks’ sake.”

“What do y’want it to be called? Italian ice?” Ivy’s sass is skyrocketing tonight.

“Considering that’s the name…yeah.” Ty counters.

“Get the fuck outta here,” Ivy continues to passionately defend her stance. “‘Besides, some of youse’ call heroes hoagies when that just ain’t it.”

“What… what the fuck are either of those?” Gator has long forgotten the soda vs. pop debate by now. 

“Oh, like, a sub?” Miles asks. “Submarine sandwich?”

You pipe up, “Hoagies are a Philly thing too!”

“To be fair…” Jinx swoops in with further hoagie defense. “That’s what Wawa calls them, too, and they’re in Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Delaware, Virginia—“

“Jinx, c’mon!”

“— D.C. and Florida.” She finishes with a petty smile to Ivy. Then, she redirects the energy to Gator and Miles, “By the way, it’s soda.”

Gator rolls his eyes and Miles scoffs, “Jinx! You’re from Florida! Traitor.”

“Calling it coke just adds an extra step!” Jinx retorts, hands thrown up above her.

“This was an awful conversation to bring up before playing,” Ivy mutters, taking a swig of her drink.

“Oh, it’s definitely soda.”

Everyone turns to Bea, hanging out in the door of the stairwell with her partner, Opal; she shrugs her shoulders lazily with a knowing smile. 

“I second that,” Opal chimes in with a grin as the two of them join the group. Before Bea sits down, she glances over at Gator.

“Hey, Gator, can I talk with you for a sec?” He nods, pushing off the mattress.

Your eyes grow wide, worried something bad happened, but Bea senses your mood shift. She leans down to mutter, “Nothin’ bad, I promise, kid.” You exhale with a nod.

They wander to the farthest side of the roof to talk; Bea faces towards the rest of the city, while Gator’s hands are in his pockets as he looks at the ground. He’s smiling, but it’s like earlier, with a tinge of sadness. 

For only a second longer you look, not wanting invade their privacy, but you catch the way Bea pulls Gator into a comforting hug after he wipes his eyes.

What’s that about?

“Sunshine, you still wanna race?” Flor smugly asks, leading your attention back to your friends. You grab a controller, moving to a seat closer to the screen. 

“Eat my dust, Flor.”

·············································

You lost. Again.

Flor won, so you challenged her again. You lost. So you go another round. She wins again, you call a rematch. Before you know it, Gator’s sitting behind you after finishing his talk with Bea. He watches as you lose, grumbling under your breath, something about “She’s gotta be cheating”.

Leaning forward, Gator softly says in your ear, “Darlin’, ya’ gotta learn when to quit.”

“I didn’t win yet!” You whine, eyes still glued to the screen. You’re tipsy after another drink, surprisingly more intoxicated than Gator.

Ivy plucks the controller from your hands, “Don’t worry, Sunshine, m’gonna protect your honor.”

“What honor?” Ty snickers, situating himself in front of the screen to play.

Gator notices your pout, then the one controller that’s left. He grabs it off the table before leaning over to grab your head, kissing your temple quickly before murmuring, “Gonna win for ya’, angel.”

His words still make your stomach flutter, despite the silliness.

“Aw, Flor, I hate Rainbow Road!” Ty shouts, and you snicker.

“That’s karma for ya’, short king.” Ivy laughs, shoving her shoulder into his.

Gator adds, “Too bad, kid, ‘cause I fuckin’ love Rainbow Road.”

“You’re sick, Gator,” Ty reels back at his words. “Absolutely sick.”

“Nah, Ty, I’m a winner.” Your eyes roll automatically, but you can’t help but laugh.

You watch everyone with a smile on your face, resting back on the mattress and hill of pillows. Gator looks so comfortable in this new life, and after all of the turmoil he had endured, it’s such a relief to see him happy. Happy, and safe.

In fact, your holiday plans not working out— snow trapping you  together for days, both of you up standing up to your abusive fathers, the terror that followed while Gator stayed behind— it was all worth it to get him somewhere safer. Worth it to see him grow into a better version of himself, a better version for both everyone around and himself, especially. Worth it to watch him grow into a found family that treats him how he should’ve been treated by his own blood.

It was all worth it to see Gator Tillman happy.

You don’t regret going home last Christmas. Not at all.

·············································

It’s late, and the sun’s long set behind Manhattan’s skyline across the East River; after a few rounds of Gator winning for you— and one from Ivy— the rest of them take turns challenging one another while Gator makes his way back to you.

At some point, you slipped back inside to grab a hoodie— the same one of Gator’s you always wear; he smirks as you reach out, arms snaking around him as he lays with you. Your eyes are heavy but your smile doesn’t falter.

“Still stealin’ that from me?”

“Smells like you,” You murmur sleepily. “Plus, you’ve stolen a lot more from me since getting here. You’ll live without one hoodie.”

“Yeah, guess that’s fair.” He laughs softly, “And why’s it matter if it smells like me? We live together now. M’here all the time.”

“Not when you’re floorin’ it on Rainbow Road. Who knows when you’d come back to me.” You feign a dramatic sniffle.

“I was playin’ Mario Kart, not off in a war.”

“Same thing, honestly. And ya’ won for me? My hero.”

You lazily tug the blanket over the both of you. It barely covers Gator, but he appreciates the gesture anyway.

“Should probably get ya’ back in bed,” He lays on his back, pulling you into his side. You rest your head on his chest, taking in the thump, thump, thump of his heart against your ear.

“Why? Racing got ya’ all horny?” You’re teasing with your brows wiggling, but the alcohol in your system has you worked up a little.

“Oh, for fucks’ sa—“ Gator rolls his eyes, ignoring the twitch in his dick. “No, just don’t want ya’ fallin’ asleep up here.”

“‘Member what we did last time we were on an air mattress?” You giggle before Gator’s hand slips over your mouth. 

“Zip it.”

“You zip it.”

“What? You want everyone to know how much of a slut you are, don’t ya’?” He whispers, just low enough for you to hear. “Want me to fuck ya’ out here where anyone can watch?”

Gator can feel your smirk under his hand, eyes growing dark. It was all lighthearted joking, but now that your hand has slipped under the blanket, ghosting over his bulge, he wants to fuck that bratty smirk off your face. 

Pulling his hand away, you murmur, “Don’t act like you wouldn’t like it.”

He’s even more wound up looking at the face you give him, all pouty, eyes heavy from a combination of sleepiness, desire, and alcohol. “I miss when you’d be mean t’me.” You grab him, it’s gentle, but enough to make Gator buck into your hand.

It’s taking everything within Gator not to moan, but a soft, sighed,“Fuck,” escapes him.

“Me?”

Thankfully, the noises of the game, your friends shouting, and the city surrounding you, drowning the two of you out.

“Yeah, I need to get ya’ inside.” 

“Need you inside me.” You giggle.

He sighs, but with a smile. “Behave for like, ten seconds.”

As Gator pulls you up along with him, he positions you in front of him, just enough to cover his strained hard-on under his pants. “Sunshine’s fallin’ asleep, so I think we’re gonna head in.”

Everyone says their goodnights, distracted by the game, much to Gator’s relief. In record time, he manages to lead you down the stairs safely, thankful the stairwell’s door is right next to your apartment door. 

He holds you upright by your waist, arm wrapped firmly around you. Once the door’s closed, he shoves you against it, cock twitching as you gasp.

“How mean?”

“Like the first night we fucked,” You whine as his thigh slips between your legs, giving you something to grind against. One hand grabs both of yours, holding them up and against the door by the wrists.

“Huh, don’t remember bein’ too mean that night.”

“Well, fine. Be meaner.”

“What, you want me t’cuff ya’? Call ya’ awful, filthy things? Make ya’ cry when ya’ cum?”

“Uh-huh,” You breathe, eyes glazed over, intoxicated. Gator’s buzzed, too, but definitely not as pliant as you, influenced by sleep and the few drinks from earlier.

“Wanna play with your toys?”

“And you.”

“And me?” His leg tenses underneath you, making you keen and shudder. “Think you deserve that?”

“Mhmm,” You struggle against the grip he has around your wrists. “Upstairs.”

“Oh, you tellin’ me what to do now?”

“Yeah, and if ya’ won’t listen, I’ll go back outside,” Your threat isn’t even a threat. Gator laughs as the other hand runs along your curves.

“Never seen ya’ in tiny, tight shorts like these,” His fingers dip just behind the button of your ripped denim shorts. You whimper when he stops, not reaching where you want him. “Last time I saw ya’ in warm weather, you weren’t allowed to wear clothes like these. Got no idea how hard it’s been watchin’ ya’ walk around all day like this.”

“Gator…”

His hand slips further, but not by much. His fingers rest just above the top of your slit; you’re glad his leg is giving you some kind of friction, but you’d rather his hands toy with you instead.

“Thought y’were such a babe even in all that modest clothing bullshit when we were younger... But Jesus Christ, darlin’, might have to move home if you’ll be ‘round me like this all the time.”

A whine slips from you as you struggle in his grip again. “No, home’s here, with me.” The hold he has on your wrists releases.

“You’re right, I’d miss your sweet cunt too much,” He unbuttons your shorts before pulling them down roughly as he sinks to the floor. Eyes unable to leave your clothed core, fabric sticking with your own arousal, he taunts, “Always so soaked, poor thing.”

Shoving your legs farther apart, he holds you against the door, strong, large hands pinning you by your thighs. He presses a kiss to your heat, making your breath hitch.

“You’re right, I couldn’t leave, ‘cause who would clean ya’ up when you’re a wet, pathetic mess like this?” His kisses become more open mouthed, with a faint caress of his tongue against you. It only makes you squirm more. “Go ‘head, tell me.”

Your hands wander down, fingers weaving through his hair; he hardly pushes it back these days, or at least, with not as much gel. Makes it easier to tug at when you’re crying out his name.

“Y- you, Gator.”

A distant echo of voices travel down the stairs from the roof, and your eyes go wide, trying to calm your breaths while Gator flashes his signature smirk up at you.

“No, wait, we should—“ The commotion gets closer as footsteps grow louder. Having your door right next to the rooftop door hasn’t been a problem, ever, in your ten years of living here.

Not until now.

In a swift motion, Gator slides your panties down, mouth on your centre immediately; at the same time, the door next to yours creaks open, conversations carrying on. There’s a goodnight yelled from someone directly on the other side of the door; you’re unable to tell whose voice it was, focused on keeping your moans suppressed while Gator sucks on your clit roughly

He digs his fingers into your thighs, glaring a silent command up at you.

“G- goodnight!” It comes out so strained as a finger slips into you, hips instinctively rolling onto his hand. 

“Hey, you good in there?” You still can’t tell whose voice that belongs to, too busy panicking on how to respond while Gator continues to ruin you on just his tongue and one finger alone.

“M’good! All good!”

“Okay, just checking. G’night!”

As the voices and footsteps fade out, Gator stands and grabs your face, fingers squishing into your cheeks. His other hand still holds a finger inside of you, barely moving, driving you mad. “Do any of ‘em know how filthy their lil’ Sunshine is?” 

You shrug, eyes on his lips glistening with your slick and his spit flowing together. “I- I mean, not really… but Ivy totally does after the day she heard us.”

Gator can’t help laughing, “I’m so glad the vent’s fixed… we can be loud, yeah?” His finger starts slowly pumping in and out of you. “Need to hear those pretty noises you make when you’re goin’ dumb on my cock.”

“Uh-huh,” You’re about to let your eyes flutter shut when he pulls his hand away, leaving you empty with an intoxicated pout; he drags you away from the door and towards the stairs.

“Good, ‘cause I plan on playin’ with ya’ all night.”

·············································

June rolls along, and like the year prior, you always seem to forget the city has a stagnant, dense heat within its grid of endless buildings. Even on the windiest of summer days, that heat lingers, makes you feel like you’re practically swimming in it.

Today, though, is just perfect. The last of the spring breeze helps cool down the hot, almost summer day while the sun continued to brighten the city.

You take a big gulp from the mug of fresh, iced coffee Gator made you, pulling your legs to your chest as you watch your housemates make their own breakfasts, along with a variety of drinks. The banana pancakes you made were a hit, but you ran out of mix quickly, underestimating just how much everyone liked pancakes.

“Thanks, love.” You warmly smile at Gator, voice laced with a leftover rasp from sleep. Drinking his tea, he returns the warmth back to you in his signature smirk, a sight you could never grow tired of. “It’s crazy we all have the mornin’ off, for once. When the hell did that happen last?”

 “About two years ago!” Ivy pipes up from across the table as she settles into her chair. 

“Well, good thing I made pancakes the one time y’all are all here.” You giggle, looking out the bay window, admiring the way the shadows projected into the house from the giant blooming tree outside, and the sun peeking through it.

“Ya’ say that like we’ve never demolished a buncha’ pancakes on our own before,” Gator snickers, recalling the morning he made some while the two of you were snowed in. You remember being in such shock he could be … domestic. What was probably nothing to him only solidified how you really felt for him. A soft, sweet morning together was something you never expected in a million years.

Now, you’re home, with Gator by your side; part of a family neither of you had growing up, but had the compassion and kindness the two of you always needed and deserved. 

“Yeah, I believe it.” Ty glares at you, still mad he woke up too late to grab pancakes in time. “You and Ivy both are demons when you get the munchies.” Bea snorts from the kitchen,  earning a smile from Ty.

“Man, it wasn’t me! I had, like, one! And I made them.” You defend yourself, laughing as you put your hands up. “Besides, I’m sober as hell right now. Can’t speak for dear Ives over there, though.”

Ivy, too stoned to care, just shrugs with a giggle, eyes crinkling and hiding how damn red they were. “It’s my first morning off in weeks. Let me live!”

Conversation continues from there between everyone, with teasing banter and laughter, sharing jokes and catching up; a bonus from your monthly family dinner, or rare rooftop nights, this morning was a real treat for you. 

The sunshine pouring in from the window spilled across your shoulders, exposed from the slouchy cardigan you slept in with a sleep tank underneath. You could see the little, floating fuzzies dance in the sunlight, sipping on your coffee as you let yourself fade to the background, watching everyone just… exist. Something all of you at one point didn’t have the privilege of doing. No abuse, no going hungry, no anxiety or fear of the unknown, just existing peacefully among one another. 

All lives that were all once thought to be at the end of the thread, hope nearly given up. Lives, filled with struggles no human should endure. Lives, while independent, now intertwined in a way where not one of you could fail. No one would ever be left behind. You all had a place to rest your head at night, a place where there was always a shoulder to cry on, advice to give and receive, with an endless amount of safety and love.

Not a day went by where you didn’t wish Willow could experience this, too. You knew, though, she was looking over you, probably relieved you made your way into this group of misfits, who had similar dynamics with you the way she once had. Something familiar. Something that felt like home.

Best of it all, to you, was being able to encourage Gator to take such a huge leap outside of his comfort zone. To leave everything and everyone behind that has harmed him, to start fresh and grow into someone he wanted to be, rather than what his father forced him to be. 

Gator always had the potential to be so much more than the violence, toxic masculinity, and hatred Roy tried burying him under. He just needed someone to see that and remind him it’s never too late to change for the better.

“Oh, dude, gross.” Miles groaned from a few chairs down, watching as you subconsciously chewed on the half melted ice cubes in your nearly finished coffee. “I forgot you love doing that.”

You spit the ice into the mug as gracefully as possible, shooting an apologetic look. “My bad.”

“No, she’s onto something. That shit is refreshing as hell on a hot day.” Flor points out, imitating you with her own iced coffee, crunching on the frozen water. Miles looks like he’s about to lose his marbles, letting his head hit the table in defeat as Ivy also joins in. All three of you end up in a fit of giggles.

“Surprised you haven’t chugged that yet, what’s with you today?” Ty teases, leaving you to knit your brows together in confusion.

“Huh? Can’t a bitch enjoy their coffee at a leisurely pace?” You joke back.

“Today of all days…” Jinx murmurs into her matcha tea latte. Gator narrows his eyes at her while Miles forces out a short hissed, “Shut it!” 

What’s that about?

Every now and then, you’d catch Gator staring at you fondly, and it’s not like it was out of the ordinary, but it felt like he was waiting for something. You just weren’t sure what.

Under the chaotic breakfast chatter, you ask him softly, “You doin’ alright?” Gator slipped his hand in yours under the table, squeezing gently. 

“Yeah, darlin’, I’m alright.” He answers casually, but his sweaty palm tells another story. “How about you?”

“I’m good,” You answer honestly, but ask with a smirk, “Why’s your hand so clammy?”

“I- no reason. Might’ve had too much caffeine. Y’know how that goes.” Gator’s quick to pull his hand back and answer, but it doesn’t conceal his nervous tone.

You fly into panic mode, “What? Honey, you can’t have caffeine anymore, why did you—“

“Right! Right, I- I didn’t. I dunno why I said that—“

“Is your eye okay? You don’t feel any pressure, do you?”

Gator shakes his head frantically, “I swear, I didn’t have any. I- it’s still a habit to blame everythin’ on caffeine still, I guess.”

Jinx runs her hand over her face at the terrible save, for lack of a better word.

“It’s because he— hey!” Ty slaps his hand over Ivy’s mouth, muffling the rest of her unfiltered interruption. 

“Is something going on that I should know about?” You ask, brow quirked up as you study everyone’s faces. They’re all frozen, like deer in headlights, side eyeing one another, or shrugging. 

You peer over at Gator through narrowed eyes, and he grins weakly with a shaky shrug. “Uh-huh… better not be some fucked up prank. Anyway, it’s so nice out! Do y’all wanna do anything today?” 

You pick up your plate and mug, intending to head to the dishwasher, but Gator tugs the back of your shirt softly. You face him, “What’s up?”

“I- you— you don’t want any more coffee?”

Again, Miles groans, this time at Gator’s graceless attempt to stall, while Flor shushes him, and Ty’s shooting the two of them a death glare.

“Y’all didn’t spike this, did you?” You’re joking, but you’re also nervous from the way they’re all acting, with hushed whispers and cryptic, warning glances to one another. Bea whistles comically to play innocent, as she leans against the kitchen counter, eyes everywhere but you.

“Guys, she’s not gonna get it.” Ivy chimes in, and no one disrupts her this time; brushing her hands together, freeing her fingers from bagel crumbs, she points back to your empty chair. “Take a seat, sunshine.”

 Now you’re really nervous, but you do as she says, and sit back in the chair next to Gator.

 “What am I not gonna get?”

 “Gator, just show her— ”

“This is definitely not going the way I planned,” He murmurs, shaking his head in defeat before resting it in his hand, elbow propped up from the table.

“Can someone just fill me in on what’s going on?” You glower as you gaze around the table at everyone again. 

Flor stiffens both her hands as her elbows rest on the table, aggressively throwing them your way. “The mug! Look in the damn mug already!” She shouts impatiently.  

You do, but all you see is the ice left from your finished coffee that you didn’t chew, much to Miles’ relief, you were certain. 

“… Ice? Guys, I don’t understand.” You’re just sinking into bewilderment the more they murmur so cryptically around you.

Gator silently takes the mug, spilling the ice onto your empty plate. placing the mug in front of you again before he nervously bites on his thumbnail as his leg bounces rapidly. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him like this. Searching his gaze, all you see is nervous, nervous, nervous, written all over his face; hidden by the hand near his face, he pauses the anxious nail biting, quietly mouthing, “I’m sorry”.

Brows scrunched together, you finally glance into the cup, reading the two words intentionally stamped into the ceramic bottom. The room falls silent as your jaw drops, reading the words once. 

Twice.

Three times.

You gaze at them in disbelief.

It’s a question, one you never once cared about being asked by or asking for anyone. Now that it’s a question coming from Gator, though, you care a whole fucking lot.

It’s a tiny phrase, a small question in quantity of letters, yet loaded enough to stop time in its tracks.

 “Marry me?”

By the time you turn back to Gator, you can see the tears welling up in his uncovered eye, still biting his nail anxiously, but his smirk is ready to burst into a full blown grin.

“You— you’re not kidding, right?” Your voice cracks as you ask, your own lips beginning to curl into a smile, ever so slightly, still being held back by doubt.

“Serious as a heart attack, darlin’.” He finally moves his hand away from his face, gathering all the courage left within him as he kneels down on one knee in front of you. “Don’t got a ring yet, but I’ve got somethin’ else in the meantime.”

Gator pulls from his hoodie pocket the worn, familiar friendship bracelet you made him as kids. The same one he asked you to keep safe when you departed after seven full days being snowed in together, ten days in total with one another, until he came home to you. You gave it back to him as soon as he made it here, and here he is again, offering another promise, offering his heart, to you.

It didn’t matter if it was bound by those fraying threads or by an elegant ring, his heart was completely exposed with the promise and love all the same.

“The longer we spend together, the harder it is to ever imagine life without you, darlin’. It didn’t hit me ‘til the week we were apart, home was with you all along. I want to keep building this new life with ya’, if you’ll have me.”

You’re choking up, trying to nod, at the very least, but you feel so frozen, overwhelmed in so many emotions, all good. All positive. All filled with nothing but love for this man you once were certain you’d never see again.

A thud hits the table as Ivy slams her fist against the table,  hissing across the way, “Girl, say something!” It causes everyone to start laughing, breaking the silence.

You try answering with a “yes” and “uh-huh” but it comes out as a “Yuh-huh,” leaving you to snort at yourself, only making Gator’s grin grow as he waits patiently for your answer. “Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. You wanna get married tomorrow? Today? Let’s do it today.” The rambling, for once, isn’t from nervousness, it’s from pure joy and excitement as you slide off the chair and onto the floor, throwing your arms around Gator.

“Finally!” Mama Bea shouts jovially; the room erupts into cheering and clapping, sounds much louder than they should be considering the small source. 

“I’m so sorry I only like iced coffee,” You blubber through happy tears, watching as Gator laughs as he ties the bracelet around your left wrist. Just like last time, it’s not too tight, but not loose enough to slide off, almost symbolic of this relationship; close enough to one another that the two of you feel safe, secure, loved, but not so tight where either of you suffocate one another. It’s just right. 

Through it all— good and bad— with Gator, it’s always been just right.

“Kinda makes sense it wouldn’t turn out the way it was planned… pretty on point for us, huh?” Gator murmurs, one hand on each side of your face, holding you close as your foreheads rest against one another. “I love you.” 

You kiss him, and it’s soft, but kind of haphazard with the way you accidentally bump his eye patch with your nose, making him laugh into the kiss; for once, he’s not the clumsy one. The sunshine falling through the window lands on the two of you, warming the embrace you have one another in. Pulling back, you’re grinning, elated, while you take a thumb to swipe away a tear falling down his face. 

“No one ever let me get stoned before a proposal ever again,” Ivy grumbles, sinking into her chair, relieved. “That was stressful.”

“That was stressful, even sober,” Jinx deadpans, but shoots a smile at the two of you.

“Wait, I gotta get my bracelet for you, then.” You scramble to your feet, tugging Gator’s arm to get him up from the floor, too. Rushing for the stairs, Bea reaches for your shoulder, stopping you.

“One condition,” She warns, and you give her your full attention. “No eloping. Someone’s gotta walk y’down the aisle, kid. It ain’t gonna be anyone outside this house, that’s for damn sure.”

Weepy, you pull her into a bear hug, murmuring, “You got it, Mama. Promise.” You pull back, giving her hands a squeeze before heading for the stairs, pulling Gator by the arm to follow you.

“Yeah, get the bracelet, uh-huh.” Flor teases, and Jinx giggles with her. Meanwhile, Ivy still has no filter, yelling, “Get a room, freaks!”

Ty, confused, chimes in, “They have one— ” 

“That’s the joke, my precious, short king.” 

Their chatter falls away as you and Gator make your way up the stairs, laughing as joy courses through your veins, stumbling on some stairs as the two of you pepper each other’s faces in sweet, short kisses.

Reaching the apartment door, you throw it open, Ivy style, grateful for the foam landing pad the doorknob has; you yank Gator in before slamming the door behind the two of you. 

There’s no intention of coming out anytime soon once you flick the lock.

·············································

Any and all plans for the day are lost to the excitement of Gator proposing to you. Time is easily lost on the both of you as you ended up fucking on nearly every surface in the apartment. 

Eventually, you adventure up to the rooftop, soaking in the afterglow of sex and the colorful sunset; your brain is fuzzy from the countless orgasms he gave you. “M’glad I’m not workin’ tomorrow. Pretty sure ya’ broke my back.”

“Yeah, well, my dick’s probably outta order for the next week, so thanks.” As Gator stands behind you, watching the sky paint itself into bold oranges, purples, and pinks, he teases you; his arms are around your waist while his lips are back on your neck, making you giggle, overstimulated.

“Hey, no—“ A soft sigh escapes you while your eyes flutter shut.

“Why not? Won’t kill ya’ if you cum one more time.”

“It might, and then what? Can’t get married to me if I die.” You squirm and laugh as his lips tickle your skin, but he stops abruptly before pulling back. You spin around to look at him. “Hey, you okay?”

Gator’s smile is lovesick and filled with joy, “More than okay, darlin’. Just thinkin’ how lucky I am that my best friend said yes.”

“Are you gonna make me cry again? I ain’t—“

He cuts you off with a soft kiss, only pulling back enough to ask, “Y’gonna let me take care of ya’? Not sure if I can give ya’ the world, but I’m gonna try my damndest.”

“Only if you let me do the same in return.”

He sighs with a smirk and an eye roll. “Yeah, I guess, not like I deserve that much.” Your hands meet his face, holding him softly, butterflies still going wild as you watch him blush under your touch.

“Gator Tillman, you deserve the entire fucking universe.” He tries scoffing it off lightheartedly, but you shake your head, gaze locked with his. 

Even with his remaining eye slightly clouded over with a scar, a sign of the darkest moment of his life, there’s so much light behind it all, reflecting in the golden brown flecks among the soothing green. His soul is brighter than he lets himself believe, and if he can’t see it, you’ll do your best to be his mirror, to show him in return how good of a person he truly is.

“I’ll spend the rest of this life trying my best to give that to you. I mean it.”

Gator’s bottom lip pouts out, just a little, before he catches himself and holds it back. His tears, though, are too fast for him to catch; he ducks his head into the crook of your neck, giving a soft kiss in the curve as he shudders off future tears.

“Will you stop being such a sap?”

“For you? Never.”

“Damn, wedding’s off, then.” He teases through a sniffle.

Though you laugh, you warn, “Don’t joke like that, I’ll start asking if you still love me up until the wedding day.”

“What, are ya’ gonna say that in your vows?” He laughs, lightly teasing you as you playfully shove his shoulder.

“Maybe, put ya’ on the spot in front of everyone,” You shoot back, grinning up at him. “I love you too much to be a dick like that.”

“I love ya’, too, darlin’. Even if you’re being a dick like that.”

While you laugh again, his gaze doesn’t leave yours; he marvels at the way the vibrant colors reflect in your eyes, and the way they paint over your entire being, drowning you in sunshine of the day’s end. 

You’ve always been Gator’s sunshine in his grim, overcast life; his future always was brighter with you by his side, and he’ll do anything to make sure his sunshine’s never taken away, never ever again.

#gator tillman x reader #gator tillman x you #gator tillman smut #gator tillman #tramps like us #part time soulmate full time problem #my fics

[nunalastor]

Ask Compilation LET'S GOOO

@onceuponahotel asked:

*closes app for one day*

*opens it before bed*

*sees whatever fuckery is on nunalastor's blog*

This is why I stay on this godforsaken app lol

like a cursed news app

@timeladix asked:

Cursed mod on the left and dickmaster on the right (ik this bc i was there, took the photo myself ofc)

(Basically the energy you each give off in my head lmao)

-🦋

cursed mod and dickmaster are the same person but i can confirm this is two sides of their multiple personalities.

Anonymous asked:

what is by far THE MOST cursed ask you've ever got?

honestly they're all pretty bad. maybe one day we'll go through and pull our top 10 or something for a cursed ask bracket or something (if anyone wants to go through the cursed ask tag and pull some and do it instead, by all means feel free)

Anonymous asked:

1985 type song about Alastor and his refusal to get with the times

'cause he's still pre-occupied with 1935.

Anonymous asked:

Razzle can also turn into a giant dragon (sheep devil thing) and there is a nonzero chance there are dragon fuckers here. Razzle x Alastor has my support!

Anonymous asked:

One divorced dad and one single dad meet and now the dads are dating and their daughters are siblings. Chaos siblings to be exact.

Anonymous asked:

I just feel like the *thump* *squeak* posts have died down too much.

So

*thump*

*squeak*

*thump*

Anonymous asked:

I’m always so worried that I forget to turn the anon on and my friends are going to see this anyway

Rosie asks her husbands if they’re okay with being railed as a way to know if she’s gonna eat them (so far they have all said no and tasted horrible)

*thump* *squeak* *thump*

If you do, just let us know and we'll delete it. But your friends will always know you're into freaky cannibal shit.

@urrandomrand asked:

Hey. I feel sorry for u

Damn they felt so bad they deleted their whole account.

Anonymous asked:

*thump* *squeak* *thump* *squeak*

Anonymous asked:

You think if Lucifer menstrates, Alastor forces him to use a cup so that when he's done with it, Alastor can drink it like fine wine?

I think you should seek help, personally.

Anonymous asked:

Lucifer eats baked potatoes for breakfast because I like projecting onto him and I eat baked potatoes for breakfast.

Anonymous asked:

My entire Tiktok feed is that *alastor is a circus who lets people play in his urine*

The shit i get from your tumblr is way more wholesome

I fucking 💕 this fandom

The circus memes are so much less cursed.

Anonymous asked:

Oh yes, that! Can't fucking post links in anon...

-Alastors Dick

You can add a space between parts of the link I believe. Like, nunalastor. tumblr. com/tagged/alastorsdick

Anonymous asked:

Hiiiiii hope you're doing well and you've getting them eepies accordingly :>

-🦋

Cursed mod said they were gonna go take a nap a while ago but that's usually a fucking lie and they're still up.

Anonymous asked:

Ok on the subject of crackships again

What about mollie x cherri and pentious x arackniss

what about all four together maybe pentious has enough dicks for everyone

@floatingcamel23 asked:

hello mom-

I have zero parental instincts. So, I'm probably more like your mom than you realize.

Anonymous asked:

Shiiit, listen to this without looking at the screen.

Hells Greatest Dad (hazbin hotel) - But i converted it to midi (youtube.com)

Do you hear them singing still?

-Alastors Dick Link. Not even remotely. It sounds like cursed cat alastor stepping on the keys of a piano repeatedly.

Anonymous asked:

do you think that Alastor hides his tail because it's actually a switch and you can turn him off like you would turn off a radio by flipping his tail like a switch?

Anonymous asked:

Alastor car

link

Anonymous asked:

*sexually inserts rubber duck into lucifer's ass and then jumps on him repeatedly*

Anonymous asked:

In response to the dog toy thing-

Vaggie has a stroke of anger because she's basically gained some sort of trauma from hearing it every night. Alastor bursts out laughing. Lucifer turns into a tomato.

Anonymous asked:

Using light mode should be considered a sin

#cursed asks #nunalastor asks

[ivymarquis]

WIP Wednesday

Sliding in here with 30 minutes to spare after being tagged by @gaeadene and @direwombat! Tagging whoever wants to do it lol

This is a Soap fic with a southern plus sized nurse reader (listen she’s 2 steps from being an OC but imo the important part on the reader aspect is the flexibility to see yourself as the character and a part of that being no physical descriptors and we’ve checked that box okay? Okay.)

Anyway, she’s a holy terror but great at her job which is the only reason she’s not reprimanded near as much as she should be or frankly fired

Grumpy x Sunshine trope abound with Soap being the simp Sunshine of course. And a slight twist on the “Who hurt you” trope because Honey knows who did and she’s fucking pissed lmao

Told via Price’s POV because it’s funnier this way also Im a hopeless simp for that man

John has questions, wants to know what the hell went so wrong so quickly with Soap’s recovery. The surgeon who performed the operation has an answer for every inquiry but John’s medical knowledge is limited beyond the scope of emergency care to ensure the soldiers under his charge live long enough to make it to the table if needed.

He can’t help but feel he’s being soothed and placated with bullshit, but doesn’t know enough to go toe to toe with the surgeon the way he feels he should be. John’s more than willing to advocate for his subordinates and the whole situation has left a foul taste in his mouth but not in a way he can readily articulate and argue over.

The sight of you storming up to the surgeon is an unexpected boone. You’re so locked in on the doctor it’s clear you haven’t noticed John until you’re damn near on top of the pair of men. There’s a file in your hand- though it’s poised like you’re ready to launch it-, and he can see Sgt. John “Soap” Mactavish scrawled across the front of it.

Price has, the more he’s gotten to know you, realized just how horrid your temper can be when provoked and given the fact he’s got the sneaking suspicion that Soap coding is what light this particular fire-

Well, he’s got no interest in cooling you off.

The surgeon realizes that you’re heading straight for his throat, sending John a reproachful look Here she goes.

You only stop when you see Price, the haze of red clearing enough to recognize a potential witness- even though John has absolutely zero intention of stopping you.

“Captain Price.” It’s odd, he thinks- hearing his name laced with such venom when absolutely none of it is pointed in his direction.

You seem to gather yourself- a deep inhale, shoulders relaxing ever so slightly.

John’s opening his mouth to greet you when the surgeon opens his.

“I’m not in the mood today, Honey-”

-And just like that any attempt at self soothing has gone clear out the window.

“I ain’t your goddamn wife so why the fuck would I care what kinda mood you’re in?”

Oh. And this is why he hears the comments about the preceptor who breathes fire.

John can’t help but feel that fire is going in a direction that he wants it to go, so he sits back and observes.

Your attention turns to John, expression softening for the slightest nanosecond from near-blind rage to “I am pissed off beyond all belief but not at you” “Captain- can you give us a second?”

It’s a wonder the way hospital hierarchy works. The surgeon is a newer resident but should be well enough trained- and yet here you are, a well seasoned nurse armed with a paper copy of a patient file which means you had to have gone out of your way to get a hold of it.

John wants to watch what happens next. He’s got a feeling that he’s going to hear plenty shortly.

“Yes ma’am,” he steps past you, finally feeling somewhat satisfied with the way his conversation with the resident is going.

No sooner than his hand touches the door to shut it are you flinging the paper copy of Soap’s file down on the doctor’s desk with a whooshing thud. The door has not yet closed and John hears you clear as day seething “Where in the sam hill did you get your medical degree- fucking Craigslist?!“

John may not know enough to go toe to toe with the surgeon but you sure as hell did. Clearly you’d barely had the presence of mind to avoid a public dressing down, but have full intentions of reading the resident the riot act.

It wasn’t much of a shouting match, and John can’t help but feel suspiciously vindicated at the way the resident isn’t shutting you down.

And sure, part of it may be that the young surgeon has realized it’s easier to let you do as you please- but John’s got the suspicion that he knows you’re right.

Harsh? Yes. Aggressive? Yes. Insubordinate? Absolutely.

But you’re not wrong. The surgeon is young and full of himself and cocky and there’s no way he’s taking your lashings sitting down because he feels like amusing you.

It goes on for 20 minutes. John checked his watch about the time you’d seemed to hit your stride.

#soap x reader #john soap mactavish x reader #grumpy x sunshine #x plus size reader #cod x reader #cod mwii #soap #john soap mactavish #wip Wednesday #my writing #john price

[upslapmeal]

The Time Monster

Now THIS was one that I have definitely heard people talking about! I had my eyes peeled for a certain...instrument....

starting off with Three having a nightmare about the Master?? excellent

did the Master hypnotise these guys? how does he always wangle his way into these respected positions??

“there’s no need to worry your pretty little head” huge respect to Ruth for not decking him on the spot

Atlantis explanation….3! 

(wasn’t the second one just earlier this season? love continuity lmao)

“alert all your precious UNIT HQs…not that it’ll do any good” - the Brig is completely fed up with the Doctor already

Tom’s what now??

“how is it that I can find no trace of you academic career” well at least the Master hasn't just COMPLETELY waltzed in there

wow that time sensor sure is Shaped in a Certain Way

lmao why did they have to overlay the guy who fell off the ladder on the ground

the concept of chronovores kinda feels like a precursor to the weeping angels

ATLANTIS FLASHBACK

yay Benton!

oh no Benton!

who’s the eyeliner dude watching from behind a pillar

i didn’t expect Kronos to behave like a pigeon caught in some curtains

“it is my job, remember?” Jo Grant I love you

“glad to have you aboard Miss Grant” I love them both

“Londoners” hfjgvykljn that farmer’s had a rough day

both the TARDISes are inside each other!

coccyx 

glad to finally get some clarity on plinge and thraskin meaning the same

TOMTIT is being said….so often

baby Benton!!

wow people weren't kidding this serial is a ride

the Master’s TARDIS hasn’t done a good disguise job in Atlantis

lol I love the Atlantan king he has zero time for the Master's nonsense

"can’t think of anything to say?" "how about curses, foiled again" love them they’re so smug

Master's having a rough day innit

"you are welcome Jojo Grant" "the lady Jojo Grant" well there's my Jo tag sorted

Galleia hears the Master behind ridiculed by the king and is like ah yes. a man of power.

Three talking about his childhood!!!

‘it was the daisiest daisy i’d ever seen’ Thirteen’s reference!!!!

man the Master can't stop stabbing the Doctor in the back even when he's been saved from neverending toment

rude but you gotta love it

wow strong move ending with naked Benton

This serial has everything: Atlantis, flappy temporal monsters, cats, the Master, baby Benton, naked Benton, questionably shaped instruments, Tom's tit, betrayal,

#the time monster #third doctor #jo grant #classic who #doctor who #wanderings in the fourth dimension

[suavis]

Never interacting with ST tumblr ever again. Went to the tag after Vol 2 expecting to see posts about the episodes/s5 set up, instead I got

Death threats to Duffer Bros for not making by//er canon

People who don’t support by//er are homophobic

Horrible hate to Mileven fans

Duffer Bros are homophobic for killing Eddie bc “Eddie is gay & they killed him bc they didn’t like Stedd¡e”

We’re sick & tired of El, she shouldn’t be focused on in s5, instead Will & Mike

Mike’s speech to El is out of character, he doesn’t love her

El is boring & her abuse for her entire life isn’t comparable to Will, his unrequited love for Mike is worse than her torture

Mike should’ve died instead of Eddie & he’s homophobic to Will, Mike is the worst person in the show

I’m also not interacting with ST tumblr again bc of the white mlm fetishizers. Billy was clearly racist to Lucas & abusive to Max (I understand he was abused but that doesn’t excuse his racism and horrid treatment of Max) but yet Steve & Billy is a popular ship. If Lucas was white, we’d see more Lucas/Dustin. But we don’t. Women are also always pushed to the side for mlm ships, so many posts diminish El for by//er

LITERALLY you’ve encompassed everything i hate abt the fandom 💀 it’s never really surprising when fandoms only care abt bland white men they can hc as gay/bi and then fetishize but truly the attempted character assassination of multiple whole ass children bc they don’t play into their specific narratives they want is extra foul.

i thought st*ddie was cute in passing at first but then the fans and esp eddie fans started acting Like That and i was outta there 💀 ain’t no way they thought it was going to end any other way have the ever watched this show before??? like he was fun but ultimately he was just some guy that some ppl in this fandom care more abt than MAX who’s been around for three seasons now like make it make sense???? and same with billy stans they just choose to ignore full on racism like i saw one say they did believe he was racist but still liked him 💔 truly no saving them the way y’all will cape for random white men even if they’re racist and abusive…… ur not seeing heaven

and YES the way this fandom passes over the black characters (the very few that exist 🥴) is sooooo…. obvious truly. billy apologists are obviously the worst of em but. if will had been in love with lucas and he’d been acting like mike first of all there wouldn’t even be a quarter as many shipper and second lucas would have been eviscerated 💔 people’s priorities in this fandom could not be clearer tbh

and people’s hatred of eleven is so transparent 💀 if she wasn’t in the way of that certain ship nobody would give a fuck but instead they’ll say she’s just his beard, she’s aroace/lesbian (which obvi i support hcs like this wholeheartedly but when the ONLY purpose is to try to make it so she couldn’t possibly be attracted to mike and so now will can have him???? gtfo), she looks like a man (which is mentioned MULTIPLE times in the b*ler slideshow LMAO make it make sense….. i’m a woman with short hair does that make my gf straight???), etc.

also yeah their fixation specifically earlier on the fact that mike couldn’t say i love you to her and then when he finally did it was out of character/him projecting his feelings for will on her??? it’s disrespectful to the characters tbh like the way they characterize mike idek how they like him anymore considering how they seem to believe he’s manipulating eleven AND being an asshole to will while still being in love with him??? i have truly never seen a fandom so deluded over next to zero actual evidence but i wasn’t around in the days of tjlc so 💀 but i’m definitely seeing some similarities LMAO it’s bad like. i think EVERYONE can agree that will is into mike but b*lers seem to think that means mike is going to have to be into will too like. ik they’re still hung up on their middle school/high school straight best friends (or are still IN middle/high school with that straight best friend 💀) and want to think that he’ll get the happy ending they didn’t but. truly i do think will deserves better than this even if mike DOES return his feelings like. they would not be a good couple 💔 here’s to hoping will gets a bf in s5 and all the characters get to be happy for once and b*let fans finally shut up <3

#this is gonna be a long one #anti steddie #anti byler #anti billy hargrove #anti eddie munson #kinda but i’m mostly putting it to avoid his fans SHDJD #stranger things #asks #anonymous #thank u for this ask btw anon it’s nice to know other ppl also see this bs JDDHDH

[andy-aka-lilcsca]

TAOCC Incorrect Quotes, (or Smth, idfk)

-

Match: How do you connect with a fictional character?

Nuffle: What?

Süz: What?

Thanatos: What?

Starbie: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.

-

Starbie: Assert your dominance over your friends by kicking them in the face, and then giving them a little smooch on the forehead!

-

Pencil: Quick! You must come with me! Your in great danger!

Match: Why?!

Pencil: Because I’ll kill you if you don’t.

-

Leafy: The floor is lava!

Match: *helps Pencil onto the sofa*

Starbie: *kicks Thanatos off the sofa*

Thanatos: *lays on the floor*

Leafy: ...Are you okay?

Thanatos: No.

-

Pyx: Thanatos has discovered "deez nuts" jokes and it's all they say now. Everything is deez nuts. They simply can't stop.

Pyx: I asked Thanatos where they learned that joke. They made me promise they wouldn't get in trouble if they told me. I agreed.

Pyx: So they lean in and whisper, "deez nuts."

-

(Before Bob got his mind reset or whatever happened)

Bob: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

Sign: Nope, there's 26.

Bob: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

Sign: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Bob: You'll get the D later ;).

-

Thanatos: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Pyx!

Pyx: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

-

(With Pyx)

Thanatos: Two bros!

Thanatos: Chillin' in a hot tub!

Thanatos: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS FUCK!

-

*at the supermarket*

Starbie: All right, the last item on the list is "virgin oil."

Starbie:

Starbie: Wow. Imagine being an item and still being called a virgin.

-

Starbie: I’m the sexiest bitch in this therapy waiting room.

-

Thanatos: *spits mouthful of blood onto floor* You’ve become far more powerful since we last crossed paths.

Dentist: Please stop, there’s literally a sink right next to you.

-

Pyx: I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!

-

Starbie: I love saying 'fuck me' because it can either be sexual or self-loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly.

-

(Before the incident, again)

Sign, looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top?

Süz: Bob's in the kitchen.

-

Süz: Hey, Thanatos? Can I get some dating advice?

Thanatos: Just because I'm with Pyx doesn't mean I know how I did it.

-

Pyx: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.

Autumn: I'm gonna tell them.

Thanatos: Don't you dare.

-

Thanatos: Pyx, you love me, right?

Pyx: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

-

Dolus: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes.

Thanatos: Wow, I've gotta hear this.

Dolus: I was angry and envious of my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and didn't share.

Starbie: You forgot pride.

Dolus: No, I'm pretty proud of this.

-

Starbie, turning to Süz: Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave.

-

Pyx: Pick a card, any card.

Autumn: Fine.

Pyx: Wait, that's my credit card!

Autumn: You said any card.

-

Autumn: Dom or sub?

Pyx: I guess Domino's, since I don't go to Subway that much. Don't see why you'd put them in the same category though.

-

Dolus: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!

Starbie: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.

Dolus: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?

Starbie: Somehow that's worse.

-

Thanatos: It’s not gonna work, I’m not a snitch.

Police Officer: Fine, let's try something else. Tag a friend you recently committed a crime with.

Thanatos: Lmao, @Starbie.

-

Thanatos: *coughs blood*

Dolus: Don't die, Thanatos!

Thanatos: Don't tell me what to do!

-

(Before incident)

Bob: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*

Sign: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?

Bob: I—

Bob: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

-

Thanatos: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—

Pyx: Hi.

Thanatos: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*

-

Pyx: Baby vibes... hold gentle... like hamburger.

Thanatos: Punt like football.

-

Thanatos: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Pyx made me get tested.

#tadc oc #taocc #the amazing oc circus #LILCSCA #incorrect quotes

[emblazons]

hi!

i read the tags you wrote about millie in a post yesterday (i think you deleted the post because i cant find it now) and i just wanted to say im glad theres someone who shares similar thoughts as me. i love millie but i cant even say anything on twitter without her toxic stans accusing me of misogyny and insulting her intelligence, even though thats not my intention.

if byler is canon, how do you think she’ll feel about it? im asking because your perspective is interesting! i think shes going to take it a bit personally because she strongly relates to her character and wants el to be on the same path as her (like getting married young). its understandable though, considering her upbringing.

!! I actually took it off my blog because the other day I resolved the issue of my tags not archiving—but when it got resolved, my blog ended up square in the middle as “top blogs” with the full mlvn name tag because I hadn’t been abbreviating their ship in the tag I used before ☠️ that said, I changed the tag to “anti mlvn” so I could keep myself out of mlvn corners, but a lot of the recent posts that I kept under the old tag are gone or private until tumblr tracks the change—hence the missing post!

Still...me and that tag rant was giving “why would you say something so controversial, yet so brave” for sure (lmao), though I certainly meant it less as a comment on her life decisions themselves and more a "I can tell by the decisions you make as a creator, producer of other films, and in general that you are not The Duffer Brother's target audience, but a lot of your fans can't" kind of way...which is still controversial in several corners of this fandom for sure. 😭

the rest of this answer under the cut because it got long lol

Like, yes, she does play a principal character in the show, but playing a character does not mean the character is modeled to you as a person—just look at Emilia Clarke playing Daenerys Targaryen, Anthony Hopkins playing Hannibal Lecter, or even Rachel McAdams playing Regina George lmao.

Despite playing El since she was a child, as Millie has come into adulthood it's become clearer that she is very different from El—and that The Duffers aren't creating Eleven's arc with Millie's own "coming of age" in mind. Her choices to create things like Enola Holmes, Damsel, and even Nineteen Steps (her new book) showing up as sharp contrasts to not only the women in Stranger Things, but in all of The Duffer's upcoming work on Death Note, The Talisman and The Boroughs prove that well enough, which would be zero problem at all...if a lot of her fans didn't conflate Millie with El is as a character.

To your point though...I honestly don't think Millie is going to be all that personally upset if El ends up single and Byler happens—she's already made clear that she loves El, but is ready to move on and tell other stories and that she would have written the story as a high school drama if she was in control of the direction of the plot (while pointing out that she's not the one in control of it) lol.

Even what she said recently in an widely published and official Seventeen interview shows that she's really just here to finish the story and move on with her career—that she's ready for her role as El (and the drama I'm 10000% sure comes with that) to be done:

At least to me, all of that makes it seem like she is a level-headed young woman who can handle her character not being aligned with how she would live her own life—and will, when the time comes.

That said: imo the real problem is that fans of MBB are confusing Millie's own "I can be young, strong and still have a man" creative and life choices with El's "I am overcoming the bounds men have put on me to become strong by myself" storyline, which only becomes an issue when Millie jokes about things like mlvn getting married—

—and (by nature of being an influential celebrity) ends up with fans who mistake Millie's headcanons (because...honestly that's what they are) based on what she enjoys in fiction as what The Duffers are writing & planning for the ending of Stranger Things.

Basically: as an actress, it's literally MBB's job to bring life to stories that don't necessarily reflect her own values or desires, and she knows it—but because she's been playing the character on people's screens so long (and from a young age) a lot of fans have issues separating the woman from the fiction and recognizing that (as Adam Driver once said) it's not Millie's job to have a feeling about or even agree with who El is as a person—it's her job to bring El & The Duffer's vision to life, even if her life informs how she plays the role.

None of that is particularly Millie's fault (though she, like Noah sometimes, adds fuel to fandom fire with the jokes she makes lmao), though it does get irritating to navigate when you're constantly subjected to arguments rooted in nothing but headcanons when trying to make sense of The Duffer's work itself lmao.

TL;DR - Mills joking about El and Mike getting married feels the same as someone here putting their headcanon out into the world about married & domestic Byler—only, because she's the face of Eleven + has now gotten engaged young herself, people misinterpret her own "cute headcanons" as canonical fact, leaving people who love the actual canon + who enjoy the 'style of womanhood' the Duffers write to arguing with people who misunderstand the actual characters.

Millie is a woman whose had a complicated relationship with celebrity and fame since she was a very young girl, and she has certainly made different decisions than I have (and likes different fiction than I do)—but that has nothing to do with her intelligence or ability to respond gracefully to the character she's played since 12 turning out differently than she would have imagined it if she had written El herself. If and when Byler happens, I'm sure she will meet the reality of it with respect and consideration, even if her fans (and hardcore fans of mlvn) don't lmao.

Hopefully that explains it (and doesn't get me shot for saying lmao). But thanks for the ask!

#the short answer to your question? #I genuinely think she's gonna be just fine with it when it happens even if she wouldn't have written it like that herself #her personal history is immaterial given she's not a 'method actress' and doesn't conflate herself with her characters #when she says things like 'they'll get married' its basically her making joke-y headcanons same as people do here #but...a lot of superfans don't see it like that—they take it as law over anything the duffers ACTUALLY do in the show lmao #tbh its the same for every one of the actors but. her fans seem to take her jokes more seriously than anyone else takes Noah or Finns #also...I could have been nicer in those old tags but I was super annoyed when I wrote them so. apologies for the snark LMAO #asks

[nostradamus0]

20 QUESTIONS GAME

Thanks for the tag @bronzeagepizzeria!! :)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

39 works

2. What’s your total AO3 words count?

111,601 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

whatever i’m hyperfixated on lol. my more recent writing has been for Supergirl, Once Upon a Time, and Doctor Who

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

swing low, supernova, & come to carry me home

love me like you mean it

we'll still be here (when it's all said and done)

you remind me: that it’s such a wonderful thing to love

the other side (of a world without you)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes, but sometimes it takes me a while because of the raging adhd. i love the community aspect of fanfic, talking about writing makes me happy, and i’m always so grateful when people leave comments and i want to say thank you!! :) 

i saw someone say once that they don’t believe in responding to comments because they think people who do it are just trying to “inflate their comment count” or whatever and that is so depressing. i hope they see the light

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably i couldn't say: i need more time. that’s a real depressing fic, ngl. i remember i got really invested in writing it, even though the plot goes against everything i want for the characters

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most of what i write is stupidly fluffy and/or sappy as hell lmao. but if i had to pick the most fluffiest, i might say what kind of woman loves like this.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really? i’ve gotten a few rude comments, but nothing super mean

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

no lol

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i’ve never written a crossover. i’ve written, and have in progress, fics based on other media, but no actual crossovers.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! i'm sure they did a great job but i don't speak russian so i can't actually tell

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

yes, a very long time ago, and it’s lost now. the internet is not always forever. save things if you don’t want to lose them, kids 

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

what kind of sick question is this

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

all of them lmao. seriously though, i started a Finding Neverland supercorp AU and i dream desperately of finishing it, but likely never will.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i’m first and foremost a poet, so i’m good with sentence-level things like diction and the way lines flow and sound. alliteration and i are besties. i’m also not bad with imagery/description.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

dialogue. endings. middles. beginnings. i struggle a lot with describing actions. did i mention dialogue?

honestly, when it comes to fanfic, i think my biggest weakness is my own anxiety. i have zero experience with romantic attraction or anything, so i’m always worried i’m doing a shit job portraying it and then i get caught up in my head.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i wish lol. i know bits and pieces of Polish and Spanish, but i’m only fluent in English. i’d love to find an excuse to use Polish, but that feels unlikely. i have a wip (that i haven’t touched in ages) that’ll eventually be supercorp but starts during Lena’s early childhood, and i’d love to use some Irish, but i have zero knowledge of Irish

19. First fandom you wrote for?

either Doctor Who or Once Upon a Time, i think? somewhere around 2013–2014? all that stuff is long gone, though.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

your voice is the splinter inside me. i poured my heart into that fic, and i’m still pretty proud of the result. i started a part 2, but i’m not in a headspace right now to finish it.

no pressure tags! @mulderscully @sssammich @benwvatt @pretty-pony plus everyone who wants to because i'm sleepy and can't think all that good right now <3

#p.

[williamrikers]

Thai BL Favorites List

@recentadultburnout tagged me ages ago, and i finally got around to answering 🙈 thank you for tagging me 🥰

Favorite Thai BL:

kinnporsche, hands down. no competition there. second place is more difficult to determine, however... if be my favorite sticks the landing on friday, it might win out against moonlight chicken for me, which was firmly in second place until bmf started airing 👀

Current Obsession:

be my favorite. laws of attraction. only friends. (does watching the trailer several times a day count as an obsession even though the series hasn't actually aired yet?? i think so)

Favorite Pairing:

oh boy. that's a difficult one. i'm inclined to say vegaspete. other s-tier pairings: akkayan (not counting the our skyy 2 episode 😫), guncher (ESPECIALLY counting the our skyy 2 episode 😏), seanwhite, tiwpor, palmnueng, pisaengkawi. if we're talking non-canon pairings then definitely khathachan and runzero (yes, zero had less than a minute of screen time. yes, i want him and run to fuck nasty. shut up.)

Most Underrated Actor:

book kasidet. ever since i watched abaab i've been like, why the hell are people sleeping on this guy?? he's absolutely fantastic and i am hoping and manifesting that only friends is going to be his big break-through. he's going to to be acting opposite of heavy hitters like first and khaotung, and i believe with all my heart that he's going to hold his own AND THEN SOME. my biggest wish for only friends is an emotional firstbook scene because i truly believe they'll be able to make magic together.

now, if this category were most underused actor, i'd say nodt nutthasid. GIVE MY BOY SOME ACTING ROLES!!!

Favorite Character:

oh. vegas kp? kawi bmf? cher abaab? gun msp? por msp? tiw msp? tinn msp? sound msp? every one of the msp kids??? idk

Favorite Side Character:

por msp. again lmao. he's my son and i love him.

Favorite Scene in a BL:

moonlight chicken episode 5 part 1/4, alan and wen at home before and after their breakup. i regularly rewatch that scene, it's one of THE absolute all-time highlights of television for me.

Favorite Line in a BL:

"love for our bodies, love for our minds." (bmf episode 8)

this line gave me fucking therapy. if i'm lucky, one day i will be able to put into words just what this line means to me.

Most Anticipated BL:

only friends of course. but i'm also looking forward to dangerous romance, i feel you linger in the air and man suang. i'm just hoping the movie's going to be available in europe in some way shape or form 🥺🙏

Healthiest Relationship in a BL:

this is a very weird category. why does a fictional relationship even need to be "healthy"? isn't it more important to be fun to watch? (my personal "most fun to watch" award goes to kinn and porsche.) anyway, i'd say tinngun msp.

Most Toxic Relationship in a BL:

third and khai on theory of love. also pat and jeng on step by step. and yes, i'm still salty about both of those.

Guilty Pleasure Series:

i don't feel guilty about pleasure, i'm not catholic. that said it's definitely kinnporsche 😂😂

i'm tagging @burnsuncomet and @sparklyeyedhimbo 😘💖✨

#*mine #bl stuff #personal

[kiichu]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

not tagged by anyone, i just found it and wanted to do it :3

How many works do you have on ao3?

60

What's your total ao3 word count?

523,261

What fandoms do you write for?

According to Ao3: Zero Escape, Legend of Korra, Gotham, Dangan Ronpa, Daredevil, Skyrim, FNaF, Frozen, Hazbin Hotel, Life is Strange, Logan, MCU, Nope, Saw, Spider-Man, Squid Game, The 100, FATWS, The Jungle Book, The Walking Dead Game, The Wolf Among Us, Uncharted, Animal Crossing, Zom 100, Ace Attorney

Top five fics by kudos:

Out on a Limb

Smoke and Mirrors

GNAWING

Anodynes

Electric Sheep

Do you respond to comments?

For the most part! Sometimes I don't really know what to say in response, but I appreciate every single comment I get. Like, I adore them all.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

(spoilers lmao) It's a tie I think, between Out on a Limb (in which Troy does die, but he saves Clementine and repays his debt, being remembered for the good choice he made in the end) and Electric Sheep (Dio and Luna's fates are left ambiguous, it's unclear if they're alive but at least they're together wherever they are)

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Any of the fluffier fics tbh, but a special mention for Taken by Storm. It's the last fic of the Nope series, and it shows that the gang is recovering from their ordeal and have hope for the future.

Do you get hate on fics?

I mean, I've seen offhand comments on Twitter, but honestly I haven't gotten any hate on Ao3 at least. :)

Do you write smut?

A tiny tiny bit. It's very rare. But we have Stay Classy for a direct smut thing, with like two other fics having references to sex. It's not really something I like to read or write, and have to be in a ver specific mood to write.

Craziest crossover:

I don't write crossovers haha.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Oh god I hope not. Or maybe I do, maybe I want my old deleted (see also: gone forever) fanfiction.net fics to resurface somewhere.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!!! Electric Sheep is being translated into Polish. Here's the link: Elektryczne Owce :]

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nah. Not my thing.

All time favourite ship?

Dio/Luna. Always always always <33

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I... dunno. I have a few that probably won't ever see the light of day, but I'd rather make that decision and leave it at "everything might one day get posted, but I don't know".

What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at descriptions, and putting out my best work possible. The latter is a result of my OCD not letting me post something without passing a very strict self-imposed "quality filter," but still. It does show in the final product, stressful as it is to get there.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Sticking with something. Sitting down and writing. Also making more happen in scenes, with more dialogue.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I've tried to pepper in some Russian in both Out on a Limb and it's just blood under the bridge for the Russian characters, and also some Spanish in Vencido, but it's all Google translated haha.

First fandom you wrote in?

Yu Yu Hakusho :]

Favourite fic you've written?

It'll probably always be Out on a Limb. I worked so hard on it and I reedited it all and made it into a book through a website (I own the only copy so it's not illegal or anything).

I'm tagging anyone who wants to do this!! :]

#emilee's fictalks #confessions of a kii

[abrahamvanhelsings]

@ your tags. love how Van Helsing went "Yes my child I am separating you two for very logical reasons such as you are needed on the boat and she isn't. Not because you kids paired up will end in so much blood" at Jonathan. It worked too. I adore them.

i mean johnathan in the mental state he is in during that part of the narrative stands zero chance against vh's charm and persuasion stats so we can't really fault him i guess lmao. but yeah van helsing is perceptive enough that he knows he cannot let jonathan go with mina bc otherwise they lose any chance at saving mina from turning. jonathan will not kill her in case she becomes a vampire, even if it is her explicit wish that he do so - he'd rather go down that road with her. i do think it isn't that vh is really afraid of the bloodshed that two vampires could possibly cause, even if that would be an eventual worry. he knows what to do - even the brides, who are possibly ages old, pose only little problem by day (bc of their thrall) and mina and jonathan would be very 'young' like lucy was. i think it's more the possibility that two of his now very dear friends are about to lose their soul if he lets them go together at this point. he has to split them up to be able to save them both.

#and like he wae ultimately responsible for killing what was left of lucy #i imagine he doesn't want a repeat experience with two people he's grown much closer to #seeing them become a soulless husk like that. twisted and almost nothing like themselves. #asks #dracula #dracula daily spoilers

[callsignbaphomet]

Lmao COMPLETELY missed that tag about already doin the asks for Loke until after, so do em for Jela then X3 <3

Lol I was like "oh shit what do I do?”

2. Is your OC a loner or a social butterfly? Are they satisfied with how they come across to other people?

He's social enough that he likes being surrounded by friends and family. He does enjoy his quiet time as well. I think it's safe to say he's an in-between that leans more on social.

He's pretty satified with how he comes across others. He can be pretty intimidating but for the most part he has an air of approachable friendliness that puts people at ease and he really enjoys that.

4. Does your OC have a failed friendship or relationship they still think about? What happened? Is it an unresolved regret or is there a chance for reconciliation?

Yes! Several! From back before he was reborn.

Iain can be considered a failed friendship though honestly speaking she was never a friend to begin with. She set in motion the whole war between the entire pantheon and the CoE. She got to Jelani and even convinced him that Jericho was the one that started everything even though Jericho was on his side from day 1, she was just as much a victim as Jelani. Of course this drove a wedge between Jelani and Jericho and both fought but Jericho lost in the end and Jela trapped her inside a tree for eons and she wasn't able to get out until he was reborn. Yeah, she's pretty pissed the fuck off and rightfully so.

She was also the one that restored Jelani's memories and with it the intense guilt that he felt when he realized Jericho wasn't to blame and his hate for Iain intensified.

Jelani and Jericho's friendship has no fixing. Jericho feels like she could never trust him again and he respects her feelings so both parted ways after he "exiled" himself from the pantheon.

As for Iain? She dies pretty ugly so there's no fixing that mess. Even if she hadn't been killed by Jelani there was ZERO fixing that mess.

10. Is your OC sentimental or pragmatic? Do they keep mementos or only what they need to survive? Have they always been this way or did something happen to make them change?

Extremely sentimental. He keeps mementos that have sentimental value to them. He has an old otter plushie that his grandparents gave him that has Bheka's last collar on it.

He also has a Thor's hammer that his grandfather had made for him. It's super old and fragile so he has it kept in a safe place.

He's always been that way to be honest.

12. Is your OC cynical or optimistic? Who or what shaped their outlook on life?

He's been optomistic his entire life. His parents have always been optomistic and instilled that mindset to their sons. Despite hardships and shit he's seen he still has an optomistic outlook on life.

18. Has your OC ever had a prophecy made about them? Was it a big deal or did they ignore it? Was it straightforward or cryptic? Did it ever come to pass or did they circumvent it?

It's weird...after shit went down with Iain, Jericho and the others CoE kind of stepped up. See, Jela broke a massive rule. Makers are supposed to make sure that existence continues. Doesn't matter what kind of existence as long as there is existence CoE won't give two bitches and a dick about it.

So when an entire pantheon started fighting with each other and involving other Makers CoE stepped in and broke that shit up. Jela was supposed to know better so CoE banished him so for eons he just drifted without a corporeal form and for all intents and purposes dead until whenever. He'd come back but not even CoE knew how or when he'd come back.

Iain was still alive and through the eons she kind of twisted the truth of what happened and basically tried to turn everyone (deities and such) against him. Some did, others didn't. She made it seem like if he ever came back it would mean the end of everything and with him not around and CoE not intervening it kind of took off.

So there is a bit of a prophecy but it's not real sooooooo eh.

#reply #Jelani tag #oc things