#you dont want to know how many paragraphs i deleted

[queercodedvillains]

If you can I’d love to hear the outline/tldr of your Claire’s AU because the posts under that tag are always so funny to me

So the claires au tag started because I wanted to collect all my modern au inspo posts in one place. Since it all gravitates around my beloved little terrorist Deidara, and I think he'd do great at a dead end low effort retail job with a bonus perk of bullying giving piercings to tweens and a sick employee discount, the claire's au was born. In hindsight, I wish I had called it the mallrats au, but since the fics came after the tag, we're stuck with the consequences of my choices smh.

It's expanded significantly, to the point that its sooo hard to summarize, but I'm gonna try my best here!!

My general goal is to transcribe everything we know from canon as closely/creatively as I can to a modern/90s setting. Tbh this started because I just was not emotionally prepared to handle canon!akatsuki levels of fucked up war criminals and I just wanted to put them in low stakes shenanigans that keeps the core of their characters without all the murder and angst and action (I hate writing action. Horror is fun and dandy, but spin kicks and explosions and puppets are beyond me for now).

So in the claires au/mallrats cinematic universe, the Akatsuki are just a gang of queers doing your run of the mill criminal activity. Drug dealing, car stealing, chop shopping, gun running, book cooking, you name it. They all ended up kicked out of society for one reason or another, banded together, and became mundane villains of polite society.

For example, Sasori is always depicted as tinkering with his puppets. So I decided that tendency to methodically pull someone apart and back together, that special calculating mindset that it takes to look at a body and come up with twelve different secret weapons to hide in their limbs, would make the perfect fodder for a chop shop mechanic. Stolen cars instead of stolen corpses. He seems like he got the obsessing-over-cars brand of autism and I love him for it. He's weird and reclusive and pretentious and insufferable and genius.

Deidara likes explosives, duh, but guns are so boring imo so I wanted to dig deeper into his love of temporary beauty, and how that meshes perfectly with drugs. They're ephemeral, transient experiences that fade quickly but leave a lasting impact on a person, changing their life, etc. He's also. Super fucking pretentious about it. Don't let him corner you at a party. Sasori might be the chemist but Deidara is the real brains behind the operation, and also the very willing test subject. I see him as a club kid, always on one in the middle of the crowd, and entirely responsible for the Akatsuki's branding. He designed the clouds and the patented pressed pills (we got blue teslas, they got white owls, etc) and also is solely responsible for word of mouth advertising. He's always got a can of spray paint and/or a black business card with nothing but a phone number and a red cloud. He's always bright and loud and shiny and looking for attention in seedy places, always in the middle of the mosh pit or the dance floor or some sketchy back alley or the skate park (skating is kinda like riding a giant flying bird, right?) Either way, everyone wants whatever the fuck he's on.

Together they're a power couple. Absolutely nasty, insufferable to talk to, impossible to be around unless you're just as pretentious as them about their very specific interests AND willing to listen to them bicker endlessly about their arts. Naturally, they only have two friends. Kakuzu and Hidan.

I want to dig into their backstories and relationships later, narratively, but the barest bones of it is that Hidan is Deidara's childhood friend and professional pain in the ass. Class clowns in detention together, bullying the local nerds, weirdo queer kids with serious mental issues from broken homes, a scrappy sort of friendship born out of desperation for someone Like Them etc. I mean Hidan's got a nasty sadomasochistic streak, a propensity for self harm, and an obsession with the occult so don't get me started on him as your local satanic bad influence. Their whole thing could be its own post tbh.

Kakuzu and Sasori are like crotchety old men on the porch. They like to sit in some booth at the club talking shit and looking menacing while Deidara and Hidan are busy 'advertising'. I also see Kakuzu as a bit of a mentor to Sasori, being a bit older and wiser and seeing Sasori get dragged into the Akatsuki after dropping out of med school and being disowned by his grandmother (a whole other post as well) and spiraling into shitty coping mechanisms (alcohol, mostly). Kakuzu smacked some sense into him and got him sobered up because he loves that sad pathetic wet cat of a man they got money to make!!

If and when Sasori and Deidara split up to work, I see them pairing up with Kakuzu and Hidan, respectively. Every artsy twink needs their burly body guard, yknow?

I'm maintaining their age differences to some degree, although pinched closer. At the time Mallrats is set, Deidara is 25, Hidan is 26, Sasori is 32, Kakuzu is 40. Itachi and Kisame are also mid 20s, Konan and Pain and Zetsu and Tobi are in their 30s.

Deidara centric timeline wise (and trying to stick to canon as closely as realistically possible) he gets kicked out of his house for being fruity at 14, ends up couch surfing with Hidan (having 'sleep overs', or sneaking into his room when Hidan's mom said no but didn't care enough think to look under his bed/the closet/that pile of laundry) and when he can't pull that off, staying in the mall til after closing and posting up in there all night. After a while, someone in the Akatsuki notices him kicking rocks in a parking lot and realizes they need some scrappy kid to run a backpack from one end of town to the other without getting noticed. One thing leads to another and he ends up catching Konan's attention. She (30s, forgery and embezzling specialist, dyke and mother of the house) shuffles some papers, gets him his own apartment on the condition that he works for her and the money goes from their business associates to him to her to his landlord.

I have a soft spot for Konan doing this for anyone she can. Queer kids in the 80s and 90s didn't exactly have resources, and she did what she could with what she had, handing them a way to earn their own money and a safe place to live, even if its seedy and illegal. Beats the streets! Most of them were runners for a few years and aged out, she signed their SRO apartments off to them at 18 and they moved on with their lives. There's a whole host of people who only know her as Lady Angel (winknod to canon again) because she did what she could to save em. Deidara just happened to be too good at his job and got pulled higher and higher, until he landed in Sasori's shop.

That's about caught up to what I've gotten so far in Mallrats and The Waiting Room (with so much more to go. My muse is wildly overactive for the amount of time and attention span I got). I got head canons on like all the main characters from Konoha/Suna, all the Akatsuki, and the Sanin. Where they work, how they interact, how their relationships translate to mallrat/clubrat shenanigans, etc.

Every detail Sasori and Deidara falling in love? DUH. But also........... A complete dossier on everyone's kinks? Hidan and Deidara's gay awakening? Sasori's history with Orochimaru? The absolute fuckery that is any of their home life before the Akatsuki? Brazilian Kakuzu? Jashinism in a neopagan satanic context? Kakuzu and Hidan's perfectly vicious relationship? Konan as Lady Angel? Itachi darling son of the police chief working for the mob to spite his homophobic dad? Kisame... well, idk about Kisame, but if you care enough to develop it with me I could be convinced to!! The list goes ON.

I could go into heavier detail about so much more but this is already so long T^T. If you read this far thank u ilysm and I would be so delighted to get into more if you're interested!! The ask box is always open and I am foaming at the mouth over them at the drop of a hat <3

#pls forgive me for taking lightyears to respond to this summarizing is hard #i always turn into charlie kelly ranting and raving with the red string and bloodshot eyes #you dont want to know how many paragraphs i deleted #this sat in my drafts for so long T^T #anyways #tysm for asking ;-; #time for the tags!! #deidara #sasori #sasodei #claires au #mallrats!akatsuki #yeah lets make that a tag too why not #its my au i get to pick the tags!! #akatsuki #kakuzu #hidan #your honor i love them #im being so normal about them #if u wanna be normal too come sit next to me :] #join me in the sasodei unit of the psychward #we have blasphemy and irreverent queerness whats not to love

[fyorina]

(uh, this is rlly long im so sorry qwq)

OMG THAT LAST CHAPTER HAD ME FEELING SM CARINA U CANT DO THIS TO ME !!!! LITERALLY THE FIRST FEW PARAGRAPHS IN I HADTA WALK AROUND BC I WAS SO OVERWHELMED I LOVED IT SM !!! N THOSE LAST FEW LINES. DONTDOTHISTOME I S A W THE "BEAST AU COMPLIANT" TAG ON UU IM GONNA SOB MY EYES OUT DURING IT I JUST KNOW !!!

gonna leave some of my fave few lines n my thoughts abt them from this chapter (ok these arent all of em, bc if i put all of em it'd be the whole 50k words of this series SO ITS JUST THIS CHAPTER)

"because how could he possibly belong amongst people who are so unfailingly good that it makes his tainted heart stick out like a sore thumb?"

STOP NO DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEEE throughout the whole fic u perfectly captured his thought process n how he denies his own capacity for change n how he HAS changed from when he was 18 BUT THIS LINE MADE ME TEAR UPPPPPP

"He is so completely and irrevocably in love with you that Dazai doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to live in a world without you. The thought alone makes his skin crawl and his chest cave in."

self-explanatory

“Are you calling me ugly?” 

u gorgeous, gorgeous man ilysm yes you look like a rat but i'll swaddle u up in blankets n clean u up

the whole graveyard scene. DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY HELLO

“You were a kid, Osamu. You’re not some incarnate of evil for ending up where you did, you were failed by all of the adults in your life,”

ok nvm crying this hit me like a truck

"Humans cannot live without a heart, so if he’s to give you his, it’s only fair that you give him your own—though realistically, yours has already been his for a long time."

i feel like this mightve been ur fave line, but if it wasnt IT STILL IS MINE BC OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD QWQ

ranpos lil rant was so funny he's literally me frfr

“Yeah… ha, look at us, in jail at the same time! Couple goals, huh?” 

i giggled

PLS READER INVITING EVERYONE JUST TO AVOID GETTING INTERROGATED UMMM RELATABLE LMFAO

these are just some of them BUT JUST IN GENERAL, UR WRITING IS JUST MAGICAL ITS EVERYTHING IVE EVER WANTED TO READ N I LOVELOVELOVEEEE THIS SERIES N ALL UR WORKS (n u /p) SM !!! I CANT WAIT FOR UNREAL UNEARTH, I JUST KNOW IT'LL BE AMAZING !!!

RED HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU NOT TO APOLOGIZE I LITERALLY ADORE YOU IM GOING TO WEEP OMG

honestly the first scene of dazai’s pov was one of my favs to write because it pisses me off so much whenever he’s excluded from the ada panels in the manga fjsjdjsjjd so i NEEDED the opportunity to hit home that that is his FAMILY idc what asagiri says the ada is that boys family and he deserves it 🥹🤞

UGHHHHH STOP BECAUSE WHENEVER I WRITE CANONZAI ITS SO HARD TO KEEP ON THAT THIN LINE OF HIS INABILITY TO ACCEPT HIS OWN GROWTH WHILE ALSO HAVING HIM ACKNOWLEDGING ODA’S LAST WISH FOR HIM SO I REWROTE SO MANY OF HIS POVS SEVERAL TIMES BECAUSE I FELT LIKE I WASNT GRASPING IT ALL PROPERLY

the graveyard scene was one of the 3 scenes i started writing for 🥹 i literally was weeping when i finally got to it

AND ALSO THE YOU WERE A KID LINE UGHHHHHHHH BRO when i tell you that’s something that i literally want to scream at him and shake his shoulders like he was FOURTEEN WHEN MORI BROUGHT HIM IN AFTER HIS ATTEMPT !!!!! FOURTEEN !!!!! HE WAS A BABY IT MAKES ME SO SAD WHEN HE FRAMES HIMSELF AS SOME IRREDEEMABLE MONSTER WHEN HE ONLY TURNED OUT THE WAY HE DID BECAUSE HE HAD NO ADULTS IN HIS LIFE SETTING HIM ON THE RIGHT TRACK ugh im gonna weep again i will always be dazai’s #1 defender, i will fight him himself idc he was only a lil baby :’)

oh my god fun fact i actually almost deleted that line about the heart, i don’t even know why like i was rereading it right before i post and i second guessed myself because i was like ‘i don’t think it rlly flows’ but then i decided against removing it because i liked the line in general SO IM WEEPING AGAIB

bro ranpo needs a promotion for real the headaches this man must get because of people not listening to him 💀

HDOSJDJSJDJJD THE COUPLES GOAL LINE WHEN I TELL YOU I SNORTED WRITING IT HELPPPPP I WAS GIGGLING SO HARD

RED ILYSM IM BUNDLING YOU IN THE SOFTEST BLANKETS AND GIVING YOU A FOREHEAD KISS

i’m so excited for unreal unearth like honestly it’s my pride and joy, i’m so pleased with how my beast!dazai characterization has come out so far and i’m hoping everyone else is going to like it too 🥹 if not ill simply die HAHAH JK JK JK no but really i’m so very excited for it

#ᡣ𐭩 carina’s love letters #ᡣ𐭩 from user: cheriiyaya

[dextixer]

Oh Dex, you don't get to pull the "I can't be bigoted, stalking, violent trash because I'm more leftist than you are" card.

I'm trans and an ancom and it's no secret that a lot of "ex" gg-ers tried to re-invent themselves.

Funny how it never works for long.

No one outside your diminishing echo chamber believes a word you say.

Actually, that is just wrong. Me being leftist has nothing to do with me not being bigoted. Im simply... Not bigoted. The reason why i point out my leftist "credentials" is to prove through my ACTIONS why you people are fake progressives.

You gave me labels. You are trans and an ancom. Okay. Why should i care? I dont care about your labels (I stopped caring about them during the invasion of Ukraine when people started using the "pacifist" and "anti-imperialist" labels to argue for Russian occupation of Ukraine). I care about actions.

So, let us all recall what YOU anti-RWDE people have done with your actions.

1 - During the RT controversies many of your people came in DEFENCE of RT, people like Lilith Fairen cursed out and attacked people on twitter for criticizing RT and afterwards your anti-RWDE crowd spread Kdins past shitty behaviour. Pointing out her past behaviour is not a problem. But you did so to protect a bigoted company.

2 - Your anti-RWDE crowd has called for people to support RT financially through merch and other such avenues. Showing that you care more for your show and a corporation than its workers.

3 - Multiple anti-RWDE people have been caught using slurs, people like Lilith using ethnic slurs while some of your other people have been caight using the word "ret*rd". One of your people, Darious uses an alt account to spread islamophobic and racist shit to Adel Aka and Vexed Viewer. I dont like their content. But the racist attacks on them come from YOUR crowd

4 - Multiple of your people have been caught faking accusations about others. Canonseeker, a person your anti-RWDE crowd is friendly with for example took issue with me slagging of NAZIS on twitter. Pretending that they were "RWBY fans". I dont know why he stated that Nazis were RWBY fans but you should ask him that.

5- Your anti-RWDE crowd constantly use language or tactics associated with the alt-right. Lilith Fairen often weaponizes an alt right tactic when people call out racism/sexism, to them accuse the accusers of these things. Some of your people freely use the word "degener*te" which is HEAVILY associated with far right ideologies.

6 - Most of your biggest attacks have been against people of colour and sexual minorities. You dont go after chuds. Your MAIN targets are specifically women, people of colour, and those of non-straight sexualities. And that is no coincidence. Hell, quite recently one of your leaders, Lilith straight up made an entire paragraph which just reeked of white saviour syndrome.

7 - It is only from YOUR anti-RWDE crowd that i have gotten shit for supporting Ukraine in their defence against a Russian invasion. No single critic of RWBY has EVER given me shit for that. Only RWBY fans. Why is that?

Need i go on? The reason why i call you fake progressives is not due to the labels you hold. But due to your behaviour. The BEST you can levy in accusations against RWDE people is making shit up.

Xel Writer/Zam/Xelianthought for example is hanging around twitter claiming that the Canonseeker expose document was made with the help of Kiwifarms knowing that its a lie. He wanted to get my Reddit account deleted through false accusations that Lilith wanted to get onto too. Your friend canonseeker is coming up with real life fanfiction about me "controling" RWBY youtubers and r/RWBY mods.

The best you can do are either lies or shouting "YOU ARE SEXIST/RACIST/HOMOPHOBE" with absolutely no proof.

While your, anti-RWDE behaviour has been recorded to be fucking horrible. And none of you ever apologized or even acknowledged the things you have done. None of you have acknowledged or apologized for using slurs. None of you have apologized for defending RT.

You doubled down on that shit.

Also, if you dont care what we say. Why in the fuck do you keep hounding us? Why do i receive nearly daily asks of harassment? Why do you keep talking about us? If nobody believes us or listens to us. Why do you care?

See? Your attacks are so transparent its funny to me. Because in your whole "Nobody cares about you spiel" you reveal just how much of a pain we are to you people. Good.

#rwby #rwde #rwby community #rwby critical #toxic fndm #rwby fndm #fake progressive #canonseeker #rwby ask

[pangyham]

sorry to anyone who has to see this HAHAHA i think it's a little fun to ramble to.. a void i guess. i'm typing this under the assumption no one's gonna read it, let alone find it, so, sure, i'll talk!

on pangytine, my current and only instagram account, i sometimes get these spontaneous urges to post a huge a long overdue thank-you paragraph to my followers on my story. gratitude for indulging my artistic endeavors when i still had tangypine. i just never did it because.. well it's kinda.. cheesy... i had no idea how to deliver it in a way that didn't seem dramatic or "humble" because cmon, i'm not that relevant. It felt a bit weird addressing it because it just made it seem like i was this huge influencer who suddenly disappeared (and yes i know i was technically considered a big artist on both ig and twitter but.. it's not like i was unique; i think.. the state of Fandom and the art community these past few years makes accumulating thousands of followers a little less unattainable, and i was one of those artists. and my work is not phenomenal- i did not leave an impact on the art community. but these nuances will just have to be generalized for now because i think you all know what i mean) and so i couldn't help but laugh and cringe and think, "i am not this relevant-" because i really wasn't. why make a big deal out of it?

but i can't help it being a little dramatic though, because i still get emails from my followers asking where i am, and i get comments and messages on pangytine ("i finally found you!"), and i even get messages from my shop's contact form! a shop that i've abandoned for months! and my heart swells. I don't want to dismiss that; i think i will always be a sensitive, emotional person and so stuff like this just makes me overwhelmed. it's sweet, and it will never fail to make me a little bit nostalgic and thankful. I will always have a soft spot for tangypine and my time spent in the anime + genshin communities… i dunno.. people are just so kind and i'm thankful i've encountered a lot of them

i've been a lot less.. chronically online (LOL) that the thought of having 200k followers is completely foreign to me. i forget that i had a huge following, that people actually looked at my stuff. I dont mean for this to come across as modesty though because i'm just being honest, truly. but this just makes the occasional "where are you? i miss your art" hit a little harder 🥲 i mean, i was able to somehow sell my art through tangypine. i was able to do commissions.. had so many say they loved my art- of course a part of me misses that. i don't think i yearn for it, and knowing that makes me a little sad.

i genuinely am thankful for every kind comment people have left me, and every kind message. I think i'm just ultimately thankful i had a kind following. people are so nice! and that's what i wanted to say, that's all ive always wanted to say before i deleted my accounts. here it is

aha and again i dont really expect anyone to see this (except maybe a few handful just because my very first post here has a whopping 4 notes, me included, and that genuinely shocked me HAHAHA). perhaps i just find closure in publishing these particular thoughts somewhere, and here they are sorry this is cringe to the people who read it. my friend once told me i'm notorious for overexplaining. This is will be the only time i get to say this, so gah whatever. i don't think i can bring myself to post this lengthy ramble on my more public account on instagram

#tangy says something to the void

[greyeyedmonster-18]

(thank you for the tag, lovely, @blitheringmcgonagall <3)

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

nine. small but mighty <3

2. what's your total ao3 word count? 585,789

3. what fandoms do you write for?

HP and only for the marauders

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos

ten reasons (to go to michigan): my beloved midwestern child. where remus is divorced and meets sirius in the upper peninsula

No Matter the Wreckage: my love letter to sirius black

Carry Me Away: sirius is a sheltered posh boy on his first bit of rebellion; meets remus; summer lovin'

From Fire to Fire : oh we don't talk about her, but read at your own risk!

Fault Lines : divorced wolfstar AU

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

So, sometimes, but not usually. I read all of them, i promise! i just never know what to say, and replying to everyone "thanks so much for reading!!!" feels like a social pleasantry more so than a genuine response...and so i just don't. But if a comment is particularly long, or asks a question, or invites more of a dialogue, i will respond!

6. what is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm going to go with Fault Lines. because thats the only fic i have that doesn't have a "happy ending". After i first posted this, about 80% of my asks were "how could you" or "fuck you???"

7. what is a fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

They're all happy endings! I really do love the ending to ten reasons though.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

I did once lol. a few times! 1% inspiration 99% perspiration is the smuttiest i've ever gone in a fic. i also wrote a very brief one-shot here for tumblr called "Team Players" ft. football player sirius and remus watching him change in the locker room so....have fun finding that! but largely, i write fade to black, or avoid writing it at all.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

Nope

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

A fic directly stolen? No. Ideas/headcannons from my fics and dropped elsewhere? Yes (e.g. james saying inspirational quotes while having sex from my moonchaser fic being repurposed in the jily fandom... to name something specific.). More than once!

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

I have had a few people ask, but they've always wanted to publish it outside of AO3 and thats a no from me dawg.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not, though one day, if we ever get around to it @femme--de--lettres and i have a great wolfstar fic idea.

14. what's your all time favourite ship?

Wolfstar duh. I am also starking trash.

15. what's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I don't start fics that I don't finish! I'm not a person with a WIP folder on my desktop or a million half-baked ideas and paragraphs scattered. I just have one that i work on and thats it. so my current WIP, i will finish!

I have abandoned/deleted fics that i started in the past, and thats typically because i dont imagine myself finishing them ever.

16. what are your writing strengths?

i...i am...good at the little things. like little tuesdays and random thursday afternoons.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

world. building. i simply do not. also punctuation. what is that? who knows. not me!

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

look, i would love to one day write a telenovela marauders fic in spanish, but this is not the time (also would love to write latinx black brothers). thoughts is that its great if you speak the language and/or have someone who does speak it who edits its for you!

19. first fandom you wrote for?

This one. this is it. HP and marauders.

20. favourite fic you've written?

i'm currently very much enjoying clear eyes, full hearts and the simplicity of it all so. i'll go with that <3

tagging bestie @femme--de--lettres and @maybebabyplease (sorry if you've been tagged!)

#tag game

[x-authorship-x]

I guess to put more positivity around the whole commenting thing, I should share my experience as a commentor. Look, I write really long comments, pretty much exclusively because my adhd brain demands it. I've actually had to pre-write a comment to copy-paste, because I know I need to comment more but my really long comments take a lot of mental energy to compose, and even that ended up being a solid paragraph. (I actually really recommend people do that, so they can leave comments like "I absolutely loved this!" even if they don't have the spoons to type it out. As someone who is also a writer, I would be thrilled to get a comment like that!)

I have never, not even once, for any fandom, had someone who didn't appreciate them. I've had people who didn't reply - which doesn't bug me at all, I know it can take a lot of energy for authors to reply to readers too - but I've never had someone complain or get annoyed or block me. Most of the time I get either replies like "thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to me ;w;" or "thank you, I'm glad you loved it so much!!" or a really long ones addressing some of the things I pointed out that I liked or was interested about.

I know some people have had bad experiences with it - which is horrible and I'm so so sorry to all of you it happened to, you deserved so much better - but I promise that the vast majority of people will love you for them (even other readers who are looking through the comments! I know I like reading everyone else's comments and lot of other people do too). And I say all this as someone who has been in fandom for 19 years, and been leaving multiple paragraph comments for just as long.

As with any other type of comment, just be positive, don't try to leave criticism unless the author explicitly invites it, and don't be demanding, and you'll be golden! Tell people what you liked, not what you didn't, because yeah it does hurt to get something negative like that, and chances are you didn't mean to discourage the author of a fic you like or make them feel bad.

I completely agree, I've never had a poor reaction to a comment I've left and it hurts my heart that others have 😩 so many creators are so discouraged by a lack of interaction with their work, I'm so disappointed in other creators - responding harshly to comments that are not mean spirited at all - for not just... Turning off the function if they don't want engagement! Dont put people down for enjoying your work!

My comments are usually riddled with emojis and swear words lmao but that's just what I'm like😅😅😅

That being said, I also don't expect authors to reply to me! Honestly, a lot of the time I actually forget what I've commented and when I did so, so getting a notification in my emails is always such a lovely little surprise 🥹

So, to my readers: please never feel like you have to limit yourself in my askbox or comment section. I am delighted by your delight, I am enthused by your enthusiasm, I love your love!

When I'm receiving comments... Hate is immediately deleted. Something I don't want, like solicited criticism, people who try to make me feel bad or guilty (and not in a "why have you done this😭❤️ that cliffhanger!!" way, dw i know the difference!) And people demanding that I write/update/change to suit them... even then, a comment I see as rude will probably just be deleted or I will intentionally ignore them (I don't get around to replying to everyone, so please don't automatically assume I've taken offence if you receive no reply!)

#torship #torship talks #ask #anon #writer stuff #comments #author reader

[hymn-of-muse]

matchups open

updating the form and rules for matchups!

heres how to request:

give me: -fandom(s) youre looking for -short description of you (phys/personality+likes/dislikes) -any additional info you feel like adding (sexuality/orientation/preferences)

>> please do not submit a huge paragraph, it becomes more difficult to get through when im given nothing but info dumping. things like personality types and zodiac signs serve no purpose in these matchups, please dont add things like that.

>> this is the only thing on the inbox i give a limit to, once the inbox fills up i'll close matchups for a short time to slow things down so i can get through them all.

>> some fandoms / characters i may not to matchups for and if i cant figure out who to match you up with i'll let you know rather than delete your ask.

>> you are free to submit as many matchups as you'd like but i'd prefer to keep it 1 matchup per fandom for each person, either in multiple asks or all in one and preferably with some time between them so my inbox isnt mass flooded with matchup requests.

>> i will never do matchups for characters who are canonically minors, if their age isnt stated and they dont look like a child then i may do a matchup otherwise im trying to avoid matching people up with children. if you want to you can state your age and i'll match you with a character around your age, since i know minors will also want matchups and i dont fully feel comfortable pairing a minor with an adult even if its fictional.

i'll give you a character and a bit about why i think you'd match!

sometimes i may add a gif at the end of the matchup of the character i paired you with ! if you'd like one or dont want one feel free to let me know!

#matchups #matchup request #match up #match up game #fic blog #fanfic blog #character matchup

[questionablepastries]

cant believe i gotta remake this

I SPENT LIKE TWO HOURS EXPLANINGIN EVERYTHING AND IT ALL GOT DELTED BY MISTAKE AAAAAAAA BUT guess what im gonna do it again even tho the first one took me like two hours but this means i get to go HARDER @arsenicshots​ do YOU HEAR ME YOU BETTER READ ALL OF IT IM SPENDING TIME ON THIS!!!!! YOU OWE ME (i can hear you say “but i didnt ask for this much explanation!!” well too bad!!!) and i swear if something crashes, ruining this upload for a second time there will not be a third time. I will be personally calling your cell. YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST ASK YOUR (ASCP) CERTIFIED ™ SCIENTIST FRIEND TO EXPLAIN ALL THIS??? HUH???? HMM?????

well its going under a readmore

sigh i cant believe im writing this all again... sobbu. anyways, this is for the curious with too much time on their hands, or if your name is alberto and you asked for some damn lab equipment explanation for some damn reason thinking this type of equipment can be concisely explained in a few words without context. that kind of explanation is not gonna happen, i dont think its possible. if you wanted a concise explanation ur welcome to look at the meme and do a 180 and walk away because welcome to class. This is gonna be lengthy, have pictures, and many links whenever and to wherever i feel like. and will not be deleted by mistake this time. (hopefully)

For context, i work in a bio hazard safety level 2 microbiology pathology lab at a fairly large (approaching 1000 bed) hospital so everything i explain will be with that frame of reference, ill even toss in some personal anecdotes for when ive had to use this stuff myself whether in the lab or as a student, ok? Onwards--

1. Hand saunas

putting aside the fact that this is the second time im writing a fucking paragraph about gloves. They’re gloves. They can be made out of various things, in case someone is allergic to whatever its made out of that i cant be half assed to look up. If someone really doesnt like gloves or if theyre allergic to latex u can wear these cotton ones that you can then put normal gloves over.

2 of my coworkers use them. idk i asked one of them once if it was for allergies or if it was for easier removal of normal latex gloves and they quickly told me “neither” and walked away so there’s that. he’s not very nice. i dont like that coworker a lot.

If you work in a lab gloves are a staple, you always want these babies on, people touch keyboards mouses and phones with gloves on lol. And when you wear gloves and get up to do things your hands are of course gonna get sweaty, but because youre manhandling (exaggerating, kinda.) infectious fluids all day youre gonna want to change them fairly frequently (universal precautions? hello?) I wear like 10 pairs of gloves at once when i have to run covid tests that are gonna be ran on the Genexpert or biofire whatever machine that poops out a turnaround time depending on the severity of the infection but thats getting off topic and we’re talking about gloves and lemme tell u when you have sweaty hands and try to put on a new pair of gloves its like putting on a wet pair of pants and it Sucks.

2. Piper bois

These are pipettes. They come in many different sizes and are meant to dispense extremely accurate volumes of fluid. amounts vary from mililiters to microlitres (microliters use the greek symbol mu as their measurement so we would write “uL”)

They can look scary sometimes

wow only $1699 how affordable. most modern pipettes come in the $1k price range. not that anyone cares but the description mentions that these pipettes are meant for PCR tests which are the same kind of tests we run on covid samples. i know a chick in the back of the lab that uses a pipette that looks pretty close to pic related. she uses it for covid research related reasons.

here’s a too in depth overall diagram about the pipettes themselves, that are closer to the kind that i use. the most important parts of that diagram are the Volumeter display that tells u how much fluid that thing will shit out, the push button that u push down to dispense the fluid, aaaaaand the tip ejector button. which can launch off the pipette tip quite a distance lol (will talk more about that in #3)

Using these damn things takes finesse because when you push the button to dispense fluid there will be some resistance u feel that tells u to stop pushing, because if you keep pushing youre gonna get something scientists try to avoid called a “blow out”.

this farmer (is he really) on quora explains the concept im not willing to type out about pipettes and why u should stop pushing when u feel resistance. im telling you theres technique!! finesse!!!

top right is what im talking about, “first stop” being the resistance u feel A B and C seem to describe how u first Push down to A, release for B and then push down Again to dispense fluid in C. so its like a diagram for the motion u go through. D is for pushing shit all the way, and E is for pulling up from the second stop all the way up. Ive seen ppl go down to D and to E for the maximum amount of fluid withdrawn to prevent bubbles during the subsequent release of fluid (might start doing that honestly because bubbles in fluids dispensed cause so much problems for the machinery theyre EVIL)

this explains the concept of avoiding blow out again. the entire purpose is to dispense a very accurate volume of stuff so one drop off is actually a lot. remember how i said microliters are a measurement? one microlitre is like the size of a mothafuckin uhhhhh half a drop of liquid lol. times i work with microliters is when they wanna test ur piss for bacteria but you cant piss well it turns out we can use such a small amount of piss for plating purposes. when i say plating thats lab speak for “putting it on a petri dish”

i was gonna move on to the next topic but i wanna show you guys the older types of pipettes because these so far are all MODERN Expensive pipettes so smaller labs might be using the manual ones. (and while yes these modern pipettes are manual to a degree, there exist automatic pipettes that do da suckin and the dispensing for you but fuck that)

behold

ugly. theres a ton of different types of pipettes. i dont care to explain

u know they used to suck up fluids with their mouths at one end in the past like it was a damn straw? bleh, some of the lab folks ive spoken to have recalled tasting piss by accident in the past or worse yet blood or spinal fluid lol.

but then they invented bulbs so people could stop sucking with their mouths and i dont know why they didnt do that in the first place

these things are pretty long and these are for measuring like. mililiters.

there also exists disposable plastic pipettes that i use fairly often and i think everyone everywhere uses these.

wow they come in different volumes isnt that so neat, i probably got a virus on my computer from making that gif on a shady website but i think it was worth it. i use these pipettes when i have to do a rapid c.diff test to transfer diarrhea (25 ul to be specific) to a tiny cartridge. very smelly. anyways im tired of talking about pipettes

3. Piper boi hats

These are pipette tips.

Like pipettes themselves they come in many sizes and the appropriate pipette tip has to match the size of the pipette in terms of amount that you want dispensed.

this is a great picture, do u remember how i mentioned pipette tip dispensers on pipettes themselves earlier? well the pipette has a button thats like EJECT THIS MF RIGHT NOW and these sons of bitches LAUNCH off like GOODBYE speeds unknown to man into the biohazard bin. not much to say about these things. who would’ve guessed. um. they come in fancy little boxes. the ones at work have tape on them with the words “ do not throw box away” on it idk why because they’re wasting boxes regardless? i guess i can ask my supervisor why and i bet its for a reason ill find so boring ill forget the minute after.

4. Vibe check

wow its even on sale. this is called a Vortexer.

I use this to resuspend anything that settled to the bottom of fluids, containers, or if i want to get an even distribution of bacteria within a fluid before i withdraw fluid from it using a pipette. It actually vibrates things pretty Violently its pretty funny, i mean it vibrates so hard you can feel it on your entire hand. Level of violence can be adjusted using the silly knob u see on the picture, the ones we use are usually on 7 to 9. i have to resist the urge to place my face down on the plate every day, but even if i wanted to id have to wipe down the black pad we set things on because ew. and i really do mean that these things get violent becuase the one at work sometimes has the black pad launch off lmao

we put sterile cups on this thing, uh lab test tubes. lord help you if you place a test tube without a stopper on it on this thing because the liquid Will fly out (has happened to me before many a time) i mean they even had a splash shield lmao, bacteria EVERYWHERE, here’s a video with the time down to the second of the action happening so u can see this boy VIBRATE, and as u can imagine if that container didnt have a cap fluid would fly everywhere

5. Extreme ™ Merry Go Round

I am not explaining the concept of centrifugation ough ugh i guess i am UGH ok ok ill dumb it down FUCK

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centrifuge

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laboratory_centrifuge

for the detail hungry there’s your required reading.

u ever get on one of these damn things and feel the g force of all ur fluids going in one direction? well same theory, but for bacteria they get that sensation at like 6000 revolutions per minute (rpm) and experience hell before they die

extreme merry go round otherwise known as a Centrifuge. is a device for when u want all the particles floating around a in a fluid concentrated to a singular point, leaving behind all the solutes at the bottom of its container and leaving whats called a Supernatant that is (mostly) free of all solutes/precipitate at the top. The solutes/precipitate gets so stuck to the bottom it forms what we call a bullet/pellet.

The gif shows what you should expect ur thing to look like after u take it out of a centrifuge and it got spun correctly. At work when i have to deal with spinal fluid, we want any potential pathogen concentrated to one area for the purposes of examination on a gram stain. I would concentrate a large amount of spinal fluid in a centrifuge, remove excess supernatant using a disposable plastic pipette, leaving behind enough fluid just above the pellet. and then i would vortex it to re-suspend the pellet with stuff of interest now floating around the remaining liquid. does that all make sense? i hope it does i just told u what a pipette was and a vortex was like a minute ago

centrifuges come in various sizes, and designs the meme pic has one thats pretty small. and meant for like 10 test tubes. the ones i use at work have this thing called a swinging bucket. The bucket will swing backwards while the centrifuge spins. to the point that theyre horizontal.

this nice lady from google is holding whats called a bucket which is meant to hold like idk a lot of test tubes and they all go into that. wait a fucking minute that looks like the exact fucking centrifuge at work i recognize those fucking buttons that son of a bitch, i have to stand on my tippy toes and apply my entire body weight to the lid when i shut it for the damn thing to register that its closed before i start it >:/

the thing thats orange in that pic is the lid u spin to close over the thing that holds the test tubes because sometimes these test tubes can spill and my god, spilled blood thats been spun at 5000 rpm looks like when u pop open an unsecured centrifuge uhh

anyways heres a good example. this holds test tubes and the larger volumes would be the purple top containers whose names slips my mind rn

centrifuges are used on blood (chemistry wants to analyze analytes in the serum), spinal fluid, piss (for protein electrophoresis purposes) and a bunch of other stuff im getting too tired to explain and theres no way im gonna explain what electrophoresis is --- (looks at #6) ah goddammit

#6. Evil Jello

sigh

agarose gel.

its agarose gel. or uh

ok, the evil jello in the pic is like the size of ur hand. However as everything in this damn information post, they can vary in size.

this one is like the size of a cat.

The whole purpose of agarose gel is (how the fuck am i gonna dumb this down) is uh..............

agarose gel is for a thing called electrophoresis.

“ Electrophoresis is a laboratory technique used to separate DNA, RNA or protein molecules based on their size and electrical charge. An electric current is used to move the molecules through a gel or other matrix “

in electrophoresis we use pipettes to transfer stuff into little jello sockets (called wells) the stuff injected into the wells are expected to travel a certain distance across the jello once a charge of electricity is applied to the jello. The stuff will travel across the jello depending on the amount of charge and its molecular size. as expected larger molecules will move slower and wont travel as far. smaller molecules will travel faster. Things move from negative (one end of the jello) to a positive charge (the charge applied to the opposite end). The movement is detected by a dye that is applied to before u even transferred the stuff to the wells. if you have a problem with a protein it’ll show up, if you dont it wont. i dont know i am so tired writing stuff lol. Go youtube this stuff. the Point is evil jello is not evil, except in that i am not allowed to bite into it like i so desperately want to

@arsenicshots​ you better read all this i swear to god

#lab #laboratory #scientist #medical lab technician #medical laboratory #im tagging this stuff for educational purposes because it rly is related to all those topics #lab technologist #personal #alberto imma k word you for this #this took two hours to make #four hours total if we count the first attempt

[limetameta]

I genuinely want you to answer all of the weirdly specific questions for writers 👀

I am waiting for eggs to boil so I went and answered them. :)

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

Times New Roman 12 babyy

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

I would just never write anything ever again and would instead evaporate

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

I write crosslegged so I had to dismantle an expensive gaming chair that I bought to treat myself because I had never owned one and was so guilty about buying it only to find out that I cannot sit comfortably (ie neurodivergent like) so I just never sat in it and didnt write anything in ages and felt so bad abt it and tried sitting in so many weird (ie normal neurotypical) positions on that chair but nothing was working. Until one day bestie just asked me if I can take the arm rests off. I did so the same day and binge wrote 20k.

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

Rompar. It used to be roly poly but now its rompar.

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

Never keep the story in one google doc, you will be overwhelmed. Have a doc for each chapter and then you will finish it lmao.

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

That I suck ass and that the people who say I write well are lying to me.

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

Seeing how other people build off of my writing and them trying to give me theories about what they think is coming next :D

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

Without action. I can write a whole fic just with dialogue no problem.

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

Grandma, if you see this I hope you smite my enemies

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

Means that paragraph that haunts me either fucks or sucks so bad I need to change it. I am haunted by my first ever published fanfiction from 2012. It is gone for a reason.

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

Kid me used to delete that shit mercilessly and now I rue not having access to some of those darlings. I have a doc that I keep with all the darlings for a specific fic.

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

Lorem Ipsum my beloved this takes me back.

Wish 1) I never have to use google translate again. The word I am looking for appears to me in the language I want it to appear in so I dont need to scour bosanski -> english google translate.

Wish 2) I look like an eldritch horror when you see me out of the corner of your eye but when you see me normally i look like me :)

Wish 3) I wish to free the genie

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

What you see me write is easy. What you dont see is hard.

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

I give people books that I am done with. Never lend. I feel like a beggar trying to get them back after and thats not smth i need.

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

I am scared to write in books because growing up i never owned books i only had library books.

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

Dead bug.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

Can somebody send me a message what they want here like narrow it down

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

Send me passages

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

I started writing in English in 2009. Published my first fic online in 2012. I am on a proverbial horse right now, my writing is so rad when compared to even last year s writing. "Svakoga dana u svakom pogledu sve više napredujem ." XD

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

I would chose love. I know I can do the writing thing lmao. My love life is unlucky insofar.

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

I wish Id quit writing fanfic. But I keep getting sucked into fandoms. I most likely will try my hardest to stop writing fanfic once I fully complete the MCU.

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

I am skipping this because dear god it is a mess.

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

I think I did answer this one somewhere u can check it out if u go in the #ask tag and scroll

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

I want to kill Maes Hughes but every single scene with him having fun with Kimblee and co is important because it is making you fall in love with him as a character and making him into a real and lived char in this au. His death has to hurt and not be abrupt like in FMAB. Fma03 did this better u had more Maes scenes.

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

Pinako and Van used to grow weed.

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

I dont know man I just do my thing and ask myself what would Solf J Kimblee do and then I write

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

Tom Riddle. I meann

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

Dr Morsels is honestly turning into my favourite fandom oc lmao

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

My muse is Slenderman. I write Slenderman and all the words come back.

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?

I remember my dreams in the first like hour after I wake up. But I did get some really good ideas in my dreams so I will implement them.

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

I love you. :) If you dont tell me you love me back I will die like a plant. <3

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

I dont return to anything lmao I am in academia and therefore disallowed from feeling art and reliving it.

33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

Entirely seperate. I dance.

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

Good comma. 10/10.

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

The way I just write sentences goes against all rules apparently. Bestie, native english writer, used to have an anyeurism until they found out that this is just how I write sentences and that I just will not change. They can explain better than I can.

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice...what do you Know?

:) I am a part of the leisure mafia so I know all about that field.

37. If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

This person was so poor that they never went to therapy, huh?

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

Cats love us. :)

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

Each day that I write I get better at it. Each day I get better at it I am leagues better than my sworn arch nemesis.

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

https://fleursdumal.org/poem/126

#ask

[yunick]

i've told myself that i didn't like you anymore. honestly i feel like im lying to myself. ever since i told u my age everything has been dead between us. we were doing so fine and i fucked up, technically it was the right thing to do because i can't imagine lying to you abt that for a long time. i have had many crushes after you but i acc search for you in them. p (my crush rn) the first time i saw him i thought "hey he could be my crush, he kinda looks like m too" that was the first reason that came into my mind to like him. bc he was like you, totally like you. i have never thought of missing you again but here i am currently crying and rereading our old chats. honestly ang weird ng mga chats natin dati but like at least i was happy, i've changed drastically. i've gotten more quiet, i absolutely hate dc now bc it reminds me of you and if i do use it i backread our chats. i can't move on from you. idk why. i think i said this before but u had a big impact in my life even if i was -- when you met me, no one has gave me mixed signals like you, no one has made me risk my life getting a beating stealing my laptop while being grounded just to talk to them, always log in on dc every other time of the day to check if they chatted, no one has made me buy a ---- and think of them everytime i see one. i acc feel so lonely and boring now. especially nung december? i got no merry christmas or happy new year from my friends. i'm trying my best to not think of you thst much anymore but tonight i couldnt help it. when i saw a girl on ur pfp i was js AHHH ganon i honestly dont want to get back tgt, i wanna become friends again. we're acquaintances rn and i hate it. udk how happy i was when u replied to me when i said i was going batangas OMG my keyboard memorised it😭😭 anyway imy :> shld i send this? im feeling risky:>>

i sent this to him april 23, 2024, 1:45 am.

i nvr thought he would see it so i said told myself na isesend ko tas idedelete agad agad. but i was wrong he saw it. when he asked me what i sent my heart was beating so fast. i couldn't believe what just happened

i couldn't believe that he saw it and read a few sentences. he told me that he wasn't done reading and that i was rude for deleting it. so i asked if i should send it again, he said yes. after he read everything he asked me, "why me eunice?" i was stunned, i didn't know what to say or do. and he told me that he gave so many reasons for me to stop chasing him? idk wtv i was doing ig. i acc don't regret sending the paragraph bc i wanted him to know how i felt. wtv i had for him was all in my notes and since i was feeling risky idk i sent it.

if u ever see this, i'm so grateful for you to be a part of my life, for being my first ever crush, mu, kalandian. it's all stupid but i will forever cherish it. malay mo mag meet tayo one day? eh delulu. anyway thank you is all that i can say, m.

[writerquil]

you genuinely expect us to believe you read case studies and scientific studies when you refuse to read a tumblr ask?

you have no idea what youre talking about at all, and you refuse to listen to anyone who disagrees with you because you've made up your mind about us without even hearing what we have to say and provide to a conversation.

you're so stuck in the toxic sludge that is your little puritanism cult and it shows

first of all when did i ever claim to read scientific studies lol, most of the things i know are from extremely basic research.

and no i literally just dont care enough to argue online, i did hear what u had to say the first time then replied with my own saying, including the fact that im not interested in debating or arguing, to which u replied with an entire essay

nothing has changed, i dont feel like arguing or debating because im never going to agree with u guys, ive had these arguments more times then youd think and you all talk the exact same and bring up the exact same points that im just so bored of refuting and have to delete right after theyre finished plaguing my profile.

"I brought up different points" you didnt, because although i didnt read your entire essay, i did skim through it in hopes u would have some points that i havent heard before or that i havent refuted before and you didnt.

so i have already listened to be people who disagreed with me, when they moved on, another came along, i refuted all their points, they said i was in a toxic cult (sound familiar?) and moved on, then another came along.

i dont feel like explaining my points again and again, this isnt some special little thing where ur the chosen one about to prove me wrong and im going to be like "omg ur right."

and before you say "how will u ever agree if u dont try" ive seen ur point of view before and i TRIED to put some effort into understanding ur points but when all of your points can easily be knocked over, its difficult

"then knock all my proves over, prove it" NO, because ive already done that way too much, so unless u want a copy and pasted paragraph ive already sent to five other people

your little "im the calm and collected one who explains all of these points in this organized, long way" is used by every single one of you, and when i explain to u that i said im not interested in a debate u get angry, just like the rest.

so once again, so it sticks to ur brain, ive heard the same points too many times by you all, frankly i dont feel like refuting them over again, you want an argument, or "conversation"? go somewhere else.

and before u reply with "ha im not fucking reading all that, if u didnt read mine why should i read yours", you did, you read this entire thing.

#proshippers dni

[patchesjam]

MOROCCO ANON i am so annoyed i wrote out 4 paragraphs then tumblr deleted it anyway attempt 2 :) here you go warning dorry i got carried away its quite long

Marrakesh itself is somewhere i have always wanted to go, it looks beautiful! I would love to go to the Bahia Palace, its beautiful, but does get busy so perhaps go early!

I would love to see the Djemaa el-Fnaa, which is the main city square. In the evening a load of street food stalls go up and it looks amazing! I believe you can find a cafe with a roof on the square edge, which you can then sit on and look over the square which might be fun! Off of this square, there are a load of the main souks, including Souk Semmarine. This is very me focused, but there is an area that specialises in spices - the Rahba Lakdima square (there are other ones focused on like leather, silver, and woven goods).

There are so many more places as well, the Koutoubia Mosque is very nearby that main city square, and is stunning, and although the inside of the mosque itself is not open to non-muslims the garden outside looks so pretty and you can see the minaret and outside architecture!

Also in Marrakesh is Saadian Tombs and the El Badi Palace which both look really interesting, and the tombs especially has some quite beautiful architecture i think!

I think you said you like hiking (although not camping in the desert) and obv don't know how your getting around but there are so many guided tours out of Marrakesh if you would like, alternatively could probably drive out yourself to some of them!

There are a few main areas people go to from Marrakesh, the closer (~1 hr drive) to the Moulay Brahim Gorges and surrounding towns of Aroumd, Ait Souka, and Imlil I. lots of really good hiking there and not too touristy at all.

About 1.30 hours SE from Marrakesh is the towns of Ourika and Ouirgane, both nice, with good hiking too. Ourika is very isolated, not many tourists and some great hiking. Ourigane has a lake and also some great hiking, but might be a bit more touristy!

About 1.3 hours NE of Marrakesh is the Ouzoud Waterfalls, very touristy but very nice! Hiking to be done, and some waterfalls and a small lake you can get boat rides out onto, have been warned its really quite touristy though.

About ~3.5-4 hours from Marrakesh is the towns of Ouarzazate and Ait Benhaddou. Absolute trek to get there, but if you're interested in movies its where a lot of desert films have been shot! Nice Kazbahs and some beautiful valley views. Probably not worth going for hiking alone, there are just as nice places much closer.

All of these places are very easy (and quite cheap for full days) to get guides to, if you would like!

If you are interested there are also lots of trips into the desert from Marrakesh, i imagine the stars could be pretty incredible in the evening in the Agafay Desert, so would perhaps recommend if you are thinking about going out at all, you try and do an evening trip with dinner or something, for sunset and the stars :) absolutely dont have to camp and stay the night with this too!

Im sorry anon, your ask deleted so I cant remember if there was anythign else - but please if you have any questions this is quite literally my job now so i would be so very happy to help, i really enjoyed writing this out LOL! Hope you have an amazing time!

#in the demaa el-Fnaa square one of my friends told me in the evening there are some animals around #ones that are obviouly not treated fantastically. if that bothers you obviously avoid it :) just thought id mention tho #also i am so so sorry this took so ling i completely forgot :( i am sorry

[loudlyunladylike]

I just wanna add on a bit to my last ask:

Like I said, I have very very bad social anxiety, so meeting someone I can talk to and not feel too anxious is such a nice feeling. IRL relationships are hard for me and I dont have a lot of them. Online friends are always much easier for me to stay connected with but I think you're one of the longest online friends I've had and the one I talk to the most. Although I am always nervous that I'm bothering you or your followers by sending so many asks, you're very easy to talk to and I love when we have a conversation or when you're just replying to an ask I sent. I love sharing stuff with you and seeing you liked it, it makes me so happy inside. My social anxiety is not as bad with you. I can talk to you through the ask box so much better than I ever can IRL or even in discord.

Anyways, that's all to say thank you so much for being yourself. You've made such an amazing little corner of the internet and I'm glad to be a part of it. It's so happy and accepting and warm here. You and the anons and your mutuals are all so nice. It feels like a family here. A home,,

Thank you so much for existing, Lulu. I love you <3 /p

(Sorry if this is weird or like,, too personal. You don't have to answer it if it's too uncomfortable or you just don't want to. You could also delete it if you just wanna read it and not answer. Whatever you wanna do is fine with me :) again I'm very sorry if this is getting uncomfortable or.. parasocial like I guess? I don't think its parasocial cause I'm not seeing you like a pedestal or anything, you're just a friend I met online that I wanna show how much I love you [/p] and how much I appreciate you and how much you mean to me and how much I just want you to know you're such an amazing person. Sorry went off on a tangent, I'll go now and hide in a corner and hope you don't think I'm weird ha..ha..ha..... bye lulu!)

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I am holding this ask very closely ;-; I'm glad I've been able to make a little comfy corner of the internet, just AWW!!! Thank you, I feel like I'm reading one of those big birthday cards with a big paragraph and glitter falling out of it

#ask box #💧anon #this is so sweet wtf ;-; ;-; ;-;

[moonlightchn]

~WHOLESOME WEDNESDAY~

Not to be a soft motherfucker but I've been wanting to do this again for a week now so I guessed I would try my best to fit as many of my thoughts here as I can without being annoying or tumblr fucking up plz bear with me heh but we know none of those are actually possible anyway so THERES THAT also this is fucking long wow ANYWAY

WARNING WORD VOMIT sjsjsjsj I dont even know what i wrote I'm sorry but I'm tagging yall anyway

Some of you I speak to on a daily basis, yknow? Like,, as admin. And its fucking insane because like- I don't know but like isn't it insane? sjajsjsj How fast some people come to grow in your heart and get under your skin and become so important for you. I think it's crazy. That in four months or so I've made more friends in here that in my whole life and I've learned so much about life and myself and I've gotten marked and some of you imprinted on my mind and heart forever. And like HELL I wasn't here when most big dramas happened but I was here for two very big ones and like??? idk it feels like all of us have been through shared crises and somehow grown closer sjajskwjs idk I'm weird and im sensitive today and I just feel like wow what would I be doing without all of you right now? probably studying. or scrolling Twitter in which I never spoke to anyone. or watching Instagram stories and getting sad over how all my ex class partners are still in contact and hang out and keep strong relationships while I just sit here. like, I know we all say this place sucks and we hate it and its toxic and don't get me wrong of course some people is fucking shitty and they take a toll on a lot of others but that like... it also happens in real life yknow?? but like in real life how many people do you think would actually idk sit with you through a panic attack or stay up with you till 8am or wake up in the middle of the night or rave with you or hype you up or have meme wars or send you daily jokes or just randomly tell you how much you mean to them or make posts asking where you are when you disappear or been gone for too long or make people that doesnt know you send you birthday wishes? like I'm not saying it doesnt happen but isnt it wonderful that it happens HERE with US where maybe out of 10 people only 2 know each other in real life? Isnt it wonderful that we're from all around the world? that you half of the time dont realize someone isnt from English speaking places because they're too good or even when they're not that good no one judges you because this is such an inclusive and wonderful place for people of all races and colors and sexualities and nationalities and body types and hair colors?

idk I'm just RAMBLING but like I wanted to let everyone know that even if we dont speak, even if we NEVER spoke, even if we're only on each others tag lists, or even if I was and you took me off or I took you off or if you deleted or if you have 817383 bots and you speak to me in all of them or only one or whatever PLEASE just know that I love you so much and I appreciate you and you're awesome and if you made some mistakes know that you CAN fix them you CAN learn and be better you CAN grow.

I believe that everyone is capable of learning and changing and everyone deserves a second chance as long as they genuinely show the intention of changing and bettering themselves. I believe that we're capable of forgiving and maintaining healthy relationships without hard feelings. I believe we all have goodness. I believe we all are small universes and we have stars in our eyes and supernovas in our brains and a million things to discover and I believe its funnier to be together than alone and I'm rambling again but like idk just yesterday I was sending someone a message telling them how maybe I'm fucking delusional and naive because who the fuck goes out on their daily saying "be skeptical. dont trust too much. always pay attention" but then after two days of talking with someone they're fucking platonically whipped and would sell their soul as long as they can see those around them happy? trick question I know many of you do too which WORRIES ME PLZ DONT PUT YOUR HEARTS ON THE LINE SO EASILY I drifted I forgot what I was saying oh welp

Anyway for some of you i have so much to say I could write endless paragraphs about you about admins and characters and life and wow I do speak a lot to admins sometimes I speak more to admins as admin that the characters and for some others I can only say a few things or wish you to have a good day some of you I only ever spoke to your character or we talked too little or never at all wow I say that a lot but like one thing yall have in common is that I love you so much even if you don't know me or dont care alright I dont care if you don't care I LOVE YOU and you can FIGHT ME if you dont wanna accept it smh I just want you to know that this place so many of you have been feeling is crumbling down or hurting them or isnt the same anymore is MY safe place too is a place where I feel comfortable and secure and I know, well decide to believe, that you guys would never do willingly anything to hurt another and yknow sometimes I just sit in bed and look at my account and I'm like wow I suck I should delete but then I'm like I could never do that to you I really couldn't because I've been told so many times I'm peoples safe place too and I would never want to take that away from you yknow

I mean I'm not gonna say we shouldn't pay attention to the bad things that happen because this is somehow our home and it's on us to protect it but I think that we shouldnt focus so much on it. because theres still so many good things that we overlook when we think of the bad or when we let things get to us or when we decide to act out of impulse and not think through stuff yknow

ANYWAAY what I'm trying to say is that I love you all so so so so so much and this is my safe place because you're here for me when I need it and I would never give you guys up for anything and like i have so many people for whom i stay daily and try my best and I hope that someday when you need a reason i can be that for you too because I've said this in private but I want everyone to know that this is my corner too and I will always fight for it and protect it so like we can all fight for it together whenever things get rough or you can leave me alone and maybe I'm being super dramatic and putting a lot of weight on this but I started overthinking like halfway and in just tthink that I want to keep yall close to me and my heart forever ok so stay safe and healthy and happy yeah fight for your happiness fight for what you deserve fight for what you want and don't let anyone ANYONE EVER take away from you your joy and your spark and your will to be yourself ok bye

#adminnie soft hours #is this even wholesome idk #ita word vomit #bye

[angeloncewas]

yeah i totally agree with what you said about satire and schlatt basically taking the easy way out. it seems like since that video he's kinda eased back from doing that shit, either bc the backlash or bc his friends have started verbally calling him out on it, both to his face and through making comments about him on stream (comments as in like saying they dont agree with what he did and saying they thought that video was terrible, not like them shading him or whatever ajsksk) which is good but also i wouldnt be surprised if something like that video happened again just bc like. it is his career and at this point he has to know what his larger fanbase is like to an extent, which means he also knows those terrible fucking jokes will make him money. i dont like that, but im also not gonna sit around and pretend like i cant see the fucking obvious, ya know? from what ive seen of him when he's not putting on a show for his main channel, or when he isnt around people who both encourage and enable his bad behavior (not saying this to shift blame, ive just noticed how he goes from making actually funny jokes that are harmless or, at most, a pretty obvious example of him poking fun at shitty people, at least imo, to like. straight up just being offensive when he's with people like swagger, miz, etc. vs ted, charlie and so on), he seems like a pretty good guy and its pretty clear to me that he doesnt hold the same views as the character he plays up for his main channel but that doesnt change the fact that his audience is now full of the worst kinds of people and that is how he makes money.

as someone who, again, watched idubbbz, as well as filthyfrank, they both stated they were playing characters and they didnt agree with the shit they were joking about, joji especially, but them saying that isnt very well known by even their own fanbase who just watches their main channel stuff, bc the one video where joji made that explicitly clear what he was doing, he later deleted for people harassing him in the comments (it was an old ass video where he basically said that playing those characters was giving him literal health problems, specifically stress induced seizures, and his comments were so bad that he never made an ooc video on his main channel again) and the one video i can think of where ian explicitly said he was playing a character was like an hour long podcast with h3, which most people dont even wanna watch bc it is a painfully uncomfortable one hour, considering the fact that they are supposed to be friends. besides that, the only other time they were really out of character was in vlogs with maxmoefoe, and they still did their offensive bits from time to time bc it was still going up on youtube, even if it wasnt their main channel. compare that to schlatt who has, as far as i know, never explicitly said he's playing a character, and the closest he has gotten to saying that was in some weekly slap video that i cant remember the title of bc all those videos kinda blend together if im being honest. like they definitely show a different, better side of him, but they are also all really short videos with only gameplay to watch and he never even promotes the channel, so its not like the shitty people watching him are like "hm time to take some time out of my day to go watch big man schlatt give people advice and be a genuine person for once", right?

idk. schlatt is just such a weird person for me bc like. he is a big comfort for me, i really do enjoy his content when he's not making bad stabs at satire (bc sometimes he does it right!! but a lot of the time, at least recently, he has just missed the mark entirely, to the point where it feels like he wasnt even trying to hit the mark at all), but he is also so uncomfortable to watch sometimes just bc he seems to either not know where the line is, or thinks crossing it is okay bc its him playing a character and that's not fun to watch as a minority who often ends up being apart of that "punchline".

that aside tho...yes, unfortunately idubbbz does still make content (and i say unfortunately bc it is not very good) though it seems like he is very slow to upload and last i checked, the views arent too great, but ive seen worse. probably the only thing that could bring back his views at this point would be a content cop, but like a year or so back he said he has no plans of continuing the series bc he finds it boring now, which is fair enough. i dont really keep up with him anymore, but as far as i know, he just got married to anisa and he streams on twitch sometimes, besides that the dude is a mystery to me!

—🦷 (also im sorry if this is formatted weird, for whatever reason tumblr has indented each of my paragraphs with one of those grey line thingys and it wont let me remove it. if it doesnt show up in the actual ask then ignore this!)

This is kind of old now (sorry), but I still wanted to respond because I really appreciate your perspective :)

> I always wonder how people not involved in the fandom view Schlatt. Because wasn't there this thing about Hasan genuinely thinking that he was conservative? And like he obviously doesn't now, but does that not impact how he sees him and his content? I don't mean to dictate friendships - of course - I'm just curious as to the impact of having that audience from an outsider pov. I remember being shocked what that thing happened with the pdp fan, but I later found that many people weren't because they knew the nature of the audience he cultivated; maybe I'm just stupid, I had no idea. (Not that Schlatt and pdp are the same, it's just a loose comparison.)

> No one should face harassment, but I doubt Joji deleting that video helped his case. (I mean ig it worked out in the long term considering everything that happened with his music, but yk.) I'm very sorry for the health problems he faced with the characters themselves though. I don't know much about him but that sounds awful.

> I have thoughts on The Weekly Slap, but I think they make me sound bitter and don't add much so just know that they're there ajfdkjdf. I will say that he doesn't seem like "Jschlatt" in them, and moreso just a guy. I know that he quit it for a number of reasons and one of them was not being comfortable with that kind of connection in relation to his increasing fame, but honestly I think his complete dislodgement from his fanbase isn't healthy either.

> I mean, I get it. I've watched a lot of content from a lot of people - ranging from kind of unpleasant to very unsavory - and it's kind of a weird feeling with YouTube and Twitch stuff. Idk it's like - when I go to the grocery store, I'm not wondering if the guy checking my things out is a racist. When I see a commercial, I don't wonder if that guy advertising chicken nuggets is a secret creep. But with content creation of this kind, it's just a weird thought in the back of my mind. I don't know if this makes sense lmao

> Weird that Idubbz finds content cop "boring." I guess the formula is kind of stale and half of the content was the edge, but it seems like the kind of thing that'd be perfect to capitalize off of around now. Cool that he got married... I think. I mean if he's happy ???

> Don't mind the formatting, and sorry to respond like WAY past when this conversation was relevant T_T. I read it right away but the timing got off with actually being able to type stuff out.

#angel answers #long post #discourse #🦷 anon #ask to tag #negative #cc critical #if u like schlattit is #sidjfd

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

is this Devyn's blog?

hey anon, i'm sorry it took me so long to respond to this; between insomnia, work, my birthday, and other personal issues (along with accidentally deleting my initial response in a sleep-deprived lapse of judgement..), i've been pretty low on energy - but hopefully i'll be feeling better soon?

as for your question, it isn't a complete yes or no answer. yes, Devyn is a mod on this blog, and yes, he posts a lot; but nobody 'owns' this blog. all mods are equals; both in the literal sense that we all have to have administrator privileges in order to answer asks, and also that we rely on each other to help with anything we post. we're all human, and as such, we know that we have weaknesses and blindspots; as a team, we talk to each other to help smooth over some of those wrinkles to help y'all the best ways that we can - so even when one specific person's name is put on a post, more often than not, we have all contributed in some way. the reason that Devyn answers things more often than the rest of us is because he simply has a lot more time and energy than the rest of us do, and trying to write a whole response ourselves can be exhausting when you are already low on energy; but conveying our thoughts or opinions to each other for someone else to weave into a post takes a lot less energy. as such, the rest of us on the mod team really appreciate that Devyn is able to answer more often! its not that Devyn is more committed or holds more power than the rest of the mods, just that he's been more available to answer things recently.

and as a side note: we got another ask somewhat along this line of thought, but it mentioned the name of someone who made personal posts on their personal blog - and since i don't want to risk 'calling them out' (for lack of a better term), i don't feel comfortable posting that ask, so i'm adding my response to it here.

i want to start off by saying, we do appreciate when people bring up concerns that they have! giving us feedback on things that might make you uncomfortable or bother you helps us learn how to better help y'all. without feedback, we kinda just assume that we're doing alright - so encourage anyone to give us constructive feedback (i.e., dont just say something like "i dont like [thing] about mod x, fix it" - give us suggestions on how to best fix it!) if something we do bothers you! we wont be upset; you mentioning how we can better help you means that you do care about us, and we would never get upset at y'all for that. and, as such, we do really appreciate that you brought up your issues with us! genuinely our only issue was the fact a specific person was named (which really isnt even an issue - telling us who made the posts helped us find the posts, since we hadnt previously known about them) and we just don't want to inadvertently cause problems for them. we really dont think you had meant to purposefully cause strife, so please dont think we're upset with you!

as for your ask, i get why you would feel that way. Devyn tends to answer a lot and doesn't cushion his answers as much as some of us do, but it isn't due to him not caring or simply wanting the inbox empty - Devyn does care a lot about answering things well, he just prefers to get to the point rather than writing out giant walls of text. rather than try to explain things for Devyn, i'm gonna let him finish up the post by explaining his method for answering asks - i dont want to accidentally say anything that isnt true, but i can guarentee that Devyn does care. if he didn't care, he wouldn't still be here - he does care for all of you, and he does want to help! if he didn't, he wouldn't be putting in the effort that he has been to change how he responds to things in a way that won't upset or trigger people, and he wouldn't put in the effort to try and get input from the rest of us mods. please, do let us know if there's anything else we can do moving forward to help things feel less bad for you. we don't want anyone to feel like they cant be helped or that we dont care for them.

mod berry 💗

---

Hey anon.

I wanted to make sure I also answered this in case you were looking for an answer from me directly.

Originally I had a few paragraphs here essentially echoing what Berry said, but it felt too repetitive and I ended up cutting it out.

We had another ask that we mentioned we're tacking the response to on here. I'm going to copy-paste some of the text from it for context since y'all obviously haven't (and won't) see it, so that my response makes sense:

[...] we wrote in and got a quick response from Devyn whereas previously we got really detailed responses from other mods. It felt like Devyn just sees it as a rush to clear the inbox and not work with other mods. And now this blog feels like his exclusively.

I want to start by saying I understand how how I was pretty much the only one who answered anything during September made you feel like this blog is mine exclusively, but I assure you that's not the case - it just happened to be a particularly shitty month for all the mods here. While those issues haven't disappeared, we should have more availability to answer asks currently.

Secondly, something I think will be helpful is if I walk you through the process of how I answer an ask. I was going to use this one to do that and then proceeded to get distracted and forgot and answered it, so here's a fake example ask. Let's say this ask comes in:

Let's say the question is something any of us can answer easily, like, "How many followers do you have?" That's an easy question and we can all look at our follower count and give you a number. So I click answer.

I always start answering genuine asks with some sort of greeting. Usually "Hey anon," is my go-to. Then the answer. "Oh, we have this many." Then I'll end with a well-wish and my name. Easy enough.

I think part of the issue is that if people ask yes or no questions (like "is my trauma valid?") I'd rather say something short in response, like, "Yes, your trauma is valid regardless of what it is," and sign my name than waste our readers' time and my breath answering with extra words. I just don't see the point in using more words than I need to. I try very hard to make it clear, especially in shorter responses, that I'm not trying to be hostile and am actively aware of my tone. Some answers have more words in them because I always try to make sure to explain what I feel could be misunderstood and that's not always easily done in one or two sentences.

Another thing that might be part of the issue is that Berry, for example, tends to answer asks by grouping paragraphs after which they hit enter only once, and I hit enter twice to start a new paragraph. That doesn't mean Berry's answer has any more actual content in it than mine does, it just might look like that because the format ends up looking more dense in Berry's answer.

Anyway, if someone feels like they want to answer a certain ask but doesn't have the spoons, they can save it with their name to the drafts, which is where a lot of our unpublished asks live. It's like the purgatory of the ask box, because sometimes I put an ask there and sometimes I only think about it. 😬

Asks that go to our drafts aren't ignored, that's just sort of a transition period. If the ask is slightly more complicated, we usually discuss it first in the mod Discord - which you guys obviously can't see. Sometimes if we collaborate on an ask, whoever sees it in the ask box first is the one who ends up answering it, but not always. But we usually just sign those with a single name for sake of ease. If we put all the names of all the mods who contributed any thought to an ask, most of them would have all of our names on them. Also, it's not necessarily accurate to sign my name to an ask if all I'm commenting on is the tone of an ask. Sure, I technically contributed, but I didn't say anything helpful.

If multiple people have thoughts on an ask, usually what we do is one person answers it and the others reblog with their thoughts. This ask is an exception because last time we answered an ask specifically about me that way, it escalated the situation, and we're trying to avoid that.

If none of us know how to answer an ask, we'll usually publish it for our followers' input after a week. I try to follow up about asks that are in drafts pretty often, so usually they don't sit there for a month, but like we've said multiple times, this month has been a bit of an outlier for all of us.

So essentially what I'm saying is that just because you don't see active ask collaboration happening doesn't mean it's not. It all happens in the Discord and, unless you're also a mod in our server, you're not going to see that discussion happening.

Hopefully this helps with the misunderstandings.

Mod Devyn

#ask #answered #mod devyn #anonymous