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thequietkid-moonie · 7 months

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S/O deals with self-harm problems

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Yukito, Touya, Kou, Yashiro ]

[ Card Captor Sakura ] [ Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun ]

⚠️ Mentions of self-harm, scars and relapse

I have diferent ways to hurt myself, sometimes I make myself bleed and other time not, although it has been a while since the last time i did it, sometimes I really want but don't do it i

I really hope you aren't suffering from this, stay safe ❤️

Yukito Tsukishiro

Yukito is really caring and gentle, he always had a soft smile to offer you, even when he isn't the most observant person he can tell when something is off and he is quickly to offer you unconditional support and comfort, he will not pry for details whenever you are feel bad or struguling with something if you don't want to talk about it

Yukito knows when you aren't feeling well but can be tricked if you try to hide it, however the more time pass and you still seem to feel bad he will worry more (even Yue start to have a really bad feeling) and will try to talk to you about what is bothering you. Yukito will actually notice the little hints at some point, such as covering more your body or being specially sensitive and prefer to don't be touched on certain parts of you body, and he has a bad feeling about all of this

Yukito will directly confront you when he feels too worried, it will take him a while because he wants to respect your privacy but he needs to know what is happening with you, he tries to be gentle with his words and reasure you that is because he is really worried, he won't stay satisfied if you put excuses or try to avoid the topic, he try to push you a little to talk but if you insist on don't saying anything he will give up and leave you be for now but is obvious that his worries only increased

When you finally open up to him about all of this Yukito will be extremely worried, if you tell him directly (maybe even show him the scars) he is immediatly worried asking you why do you do it, he hold the part where you harm yourself really gently, like if it was made of glass, making sure they're not infected or anything, before hugging you softly, it breaks his heart knowing that you feel the need to do something like this but is quickly to assure you that he doesn't judge for it and wants to help you stop doing this, because it isn't healthy and you don't deserve to be hurt

In case he catch you doing it he will react more alarmed, immediatly trying to help you stop with the bleeding and take proper care of the wound before even asking you anything about it, once is done is when he ask you what happened, at the end he is more focused on comforting and assuring you that you aren't alone, he is with you and he will help you get through this

After this he continue being really gentle, always with a smile, he doesn't bring the topic unless is necesary and prefer to do it in private, he won't tell anyone if you don't want to but insist on telling to the ones you trust the most so they can help you too (as well as asking for profesional help)

From that day Yukito insist more on asking you about you day and about what is troubling you, promising that not matter how small or silly the problem can be he want to be able to help you, also he start to be more expressive with his love, either with physical affection or words, even a lot more act of service, reminding you how much he loves you and telling you how happy he is to have you in his life (this is also motivated by Yue since he is also affected by this, it gave him a feeling of helplessness that he hates)

Yukito also makes sure you are taking proper care of the wounds, willing to do it himself, and always treats your scars gentleness (if you let him he sometimes give you little soft kisses on them or gently caress them)

Yukito is always cheering you to fight the impulse of harming yourself, if you manage to don't do it he will be really happy for you, congratulating you and thanking your efforts, in the case you can't and end up cutting yourself again Yukito will comfort you, acknowledging your effort and remembering you to be kind to yourself too since isn't easy

When you start to improve and the urge to do it start to reduced Yukito will be really happy and will tell you how proud of you he is, he will try to remember the date of when you stoped doing it as an important date for him. Also, if you ever has a relapse he won't be angry or upset at you, it sadden him but won't lose hope on you and cheerish for you, remembering you that you already were able to resist for a while and he is proud of your effort

Touya Kinomoto

Even when he doesn't show it much Touya is actually really caring and kind to those he care the most, and, of course, you aren't an eseption. Also, he is really perceptive so everytime you don't feel at your best or are troubled by something he knows and shows his support indirectly, even if you don't ask for help you have his help

Touya isn't the type to confront you about it right away, he trust you enough to let you handle this and wait until you feel comfortable enough to tell him, unless is something more serious or that you could be in danger, and even so he won't be pushy and prefer to take things slowly if he can

He know something is wrong with you but he prefer to don't say anything imediatly, he waits, hoping you will come to him and tell him willingly when you are ready, however if that doesn't happen then he will do it himself and tell you that he knows something is wrong

When you open up to him he keeps a serious expression while asking you why do you do it, why do you feel the need to do it, how long you've done it, he asks important things and yet he doesn't force you to talk, if you don't want to tell him is alright, with knowing that you do it is enough for him right now and the only reason he ask is because he wants to be able to help you

His reaction doesn't change much if you tell him or if he finds you harming yourself, however if he finds you doing it he immediatly throw away the knife and tends your wounds, he doesn't ask anything in that moment because he knows what is happening but ask you to be come careful next time. In any case after taking care of the wounds or after is done asking you he just hugs you tightly, rubbing your back in a comforting manner and assuring you that he is here with you, he isn't going to leave you alone with something like that and something like this will never make him stop loving you

He may not be the best to express himself but he'll find his way, he prefer to let you vent and be a shoulder to cry, he is completely willing to keep you in a comforting embrace until you are done crying

After that day he will try to be more open and obvious with his love and care for you, by a lot of actions of service and physical affection (even Yukito tells you from time to time how much Touya loves you and cares for you, embarrassing him a little in the process)

If you continue harming yourself after he found out he won't scold you or be mad, he just make sure to take proper care of the wounds before telling you that this is an unhealthy way to handle with the emotions, if you feel comfortable or even prefer it he will voice off his worries for you, how he doesn't want to lose you. However, he makes clear almost imediatly that he understand that this isn't easy, is probably going to take a long time for you to stop doing it but he accept it, he wants to be with you in every step of the way because he loves you and he wants nothing more than seeing you happy, he wants you to love yourself just like he loves you

When you start to have improvements he congratulate you and thanks the hard work you are doing, as well make sure that now you have more healthy ways to express those feelings (or even that are changing) instead of just trying to ignore them. If you ever have a relapse he won't be disappointed or anything, he understand that it can be part of the process and is more worried in you, in how you feel about it and will comfort you if you need it

Kou Minamoto

Kou is a really caring partner, he can be pretty cheerful and even inocent at times but, somehow, he always knows when you are having problems and he is always there to give you his unconditional support and help, either by telling you directly that you can rely on him or doing little acts of service in order to show support

Kou can be tricked if you find a good excuse or manage to hide well that you aren't feeling well but it won't last long because soon or later he will know that you aren't actually feeling well, he notice little changes on your behavior or things that shows that you aren't feeling well little by little (he pays a lot of attention without even noticing it), as well it won't take him long to notice an unusual behavior, like covering a lot some parts of your body

Kou ask you about it almost right away, wanting to be able to help you, however if you seem hesitant or even uncomfortable by it he will apologize and won't pry for more details, but makes sure to show you his support. As the time pass if you still seem troubled but reclulant to talk about it he will try to find out on his own, thinking about all of it and even asking your friends if something had passed to you

At some point Kou will confront you again but now determinated to know what is happening to you, he doesn't want to be pushy but the more time it pass the more worried he grows

Getting to know that you self-harm is pretty shocking for him and he isn't going to take it too well (no that he is mad at you or anything), if he get to know because you finally open up to him and tell him directly he will heard you carefuly but with every word you say the sadness and confusion grows more and more inside him, he ask you why with tears on his eyes, he isn't mad at you, he is just confused, he loves you and see you as someone amazing so he doesn't understand why you would feel the need to do something like that to yourself. Although, if he find out when he catch you doing it he will be a little more aggresive while taking the blade from your hand and trying to stop the bleeding while panicing, Kou will calm down until your wound is treated and will finally ask you about it

Kou won't judge for it or be mad, neither disappointed, Kou is more focused on trying to comprehend why are you doing this and help you stop doing it, he ask you to please tell him why you do it and to vent to him, he wants to knows everything you are feeling, he rather end up with his heart broke by hearing you than risking you harm yourself again

Kou understand that this isn't a problem that can be fixed overnight and that is related to deeper feelings but he doesn't care, he is willing to stay by your side in every step of the way, even if you move forward with baby steps he will be more than happy to be there, following your rhythm

Kou will be paying even more attention to you, trying to prevent you from doing it again by offering you his help, he is actively searching for ways to help you and other ways for you to vent (healthier ways) and suggesting searching for profesional help. Kou is pretty scare of losing you, he doesn't know if he will be able to handle losing you so he tries his hardest to be able to help you because he want you to be happy (he sometimes vent to you too and speak his heart out because he tent to put a lot of pressure on himself for it)

Kou celebrate all the improvements you have, from the smaller ones to the ones more significants, it doesn't matter if you had manage to achieve just a few days or an entire year without hurting yourself he is proud of you, and even if the impulse of doing it is still there or you have a relapse Kou aknowledge all the efforts you are putting on this and thanks your hard work for trying to stop this

Nene Yashiro

Yashiro is a really caring partner, she doesn't show it much but is really caring over you and is easily influenced by your own mood, she isn't the most perceptive person but, soon or later, she will find out when you aren't feeling at your best and she becomes pretty worried

If you try to hide it it will take her longer to find out but at the end she will (even if it is with the help if others). Yashiro doesn't want to confront you about it directly, she doesn't find the strength nor the words to bring up the topic so she prefer to try to cheer you up and make clear that you have all her support, however the more time it pass and you still seem troubled or little hints of you hiding something the more she worries, it will reach a point where she can't handle more her feelings and finally comfront you about it

Since is more likely that Yashiro won't confront you about it until is too much for her and she won't give up so easily with the topic, unless you seem too uncomfortable with the topic and yet is obvious that she is still worried about it and she seem like if she still want to talk about it

Doesn't matter if she find out because you tell her or because she find you doing it, it will hit her hard in any case, although it would be easier for her to assimilate the information than seeing you doing it because in that case she will panic

This will break Yashiro's heart because she loves you with all her heart and being and think that for whatever reason you feel the need or even that you deserve to be hurt like this breaks her heart, she ask you why do you do it with a trembling voice and teary eyes while gently taking your hands, she wants to be able to understand you but she just can't

It would take her a while to calm down (she will even feel bad if you comforted her because she was the one supoused to do that) and when she does she is imediatly telling you that you aren't alone on this and that she will do everything she can to help you with this. Yashiro actively search for ways to help you and ask Aoi, Kou and Hanako what she could do to help you, and she does almost everything her friends tell her

Yashiro really wants to help you and is almost desperate to do so, she loves you and she can't bare even the thought of you being hurt and sad, she is trying to help you by all the ways she can, in direct ways, like taking care of your wounds and constantly asking you how do you feel, and indirect ways, like telling you how important you are to her and how much she love you, how no one deserve to be hurt

Yashiro tries to pay a lot of attention to you and don't be pushy but sometimes can't stop herself from directly asking you how are you doing with dealing with the urge of hurting yourself, she express how it hurt her knowing you do this but also thank you for your effords to change and continue, she even thank you for just being alive when even that hurts

Yashiro makes a big deal whenever you tell her the news about you managing to not fall before the urge to hurt yourself, not matter if it was just for a day, a week or even a year, she celebrate with you, thanking you and telling you how proud she is of you over and over again with a wide smile

When you start to be able to leave that behind Yashiro will cry out of happiness of knowing that you are getting better little by little, and even if you ever have a relapse she will be there to comfort you, thanking you for your hard work until now and asking you to please don't give up and try again

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