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#zoey says shit
unmellowyellowfellow · 5 months
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please soothe my curiosity by answering this poll. i've been thinking about it forever
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infectedpaul · 6 months
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hatchetfield toxic yuri
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gravitycoil · 11 months
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Will say it again. I will block you if you ship nellis full stop. Same with Zochelle. The age gap people. I hate that nellis is the most popular ship i want to hit my head against a brick wall. And dont go in my replies and be like “oughehgsgie my paretns met around theyre age! who give a fucky!!!! also theyre all adults freak” i think i have permission to kill you.
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hey hi what the fuck?
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caracello · 2 years
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this was so cute of him
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ruindunburnit · 3 months
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LightBringer Ch. 23 is up! Once again, this is a great time to remind you that this fanfic is above all else a critique of the House of Night series, and the content therein has been written with that purpose fully in mind. I put warnings at the top of chapters that are going to be tough reads for a reason, and if I haven't put an adequate warning on a chapter, just let me know -- if it's a reasonable ask, I'm happy to mark it up!
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gauntletqueen · 10 months
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Hi Zoey. Asking from a place of ignorance, could you please explain why Threads is dogshit?
Threads is the Hot New Garbagedump by Certified Scum Of The Earth and Facebook/Meta owner Zuckerburg. It is like if twitter was even worse.
There is ONLY a For You page, meaning you can never just see the posts from your followed accounts who, yknow, you followed for the purpose of seeing their posts.You can't see those. you have to see the algorithm's posts ONLY. You also require an instagram to get full access to all the features like Posting Images. You need a separate social media account to properly access this new social media. And once you've done so, the only way to delete your Threads account, is to delete you instagram account. The Whole Thing. For Some Fucking Reason. Not to mention, obviously since it's zuckerburg, the thing syphons your personal information like crazy, worse still than twitter.
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Like ALL your data. as much as it can get. (Love that it says "Other Data" btw. Nice subtle way of saying "whatever else we want") ALSO wouldn't you know it? It's fucking banned in the EU because it violates a bunch of fucking privacy laws!! So it's DEFINITELY not safe to use!
It is as predatory and exploitative as can be, created by someone that we collectively agreed Sucks Shit and Has No Empathy For Human Life and Individuality, and nobody should be touching it with a ten foot pole let alone sign up for it. Not even to test the waters or because it's where everyone is heading, or to see how bad it is for yourself. It doesn't matter if you're joining to get an account ready in case the platform ends up the new big thing. You're feeding the statistics. Even if you're not using that account, Zuckerburg can show the number of signups to shareholders and investors to prove to them that it's viable. Instead of jumping on the bandwagon in case it succeeds, inform people why they shouldn't join, to reduce its chance of success! It's like strikes and protests; The more of us get the word out, the more effective it'll be!
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the-fog-system · 9 months
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Help! I loved Nerdy Prudes Must Die and am curious about Nightmare Time but don't really have time to commit to watching it all... (a handy guide)
For those of you who don't know Nightmare Time was a series of Hatchetfield one shots that starkid wrote and recorded during lockdown, all of which are of course available for free on YouTube. They go a lot deeper into the lore than the 3 Hatchetfield musicals, including explaining and explore the characters we know and love in more detail, sometimes including shocking revelations.
They also introduce new characters to the Hatchetfield universe, including Stephanie Lauter, Grace Chasity and Pete Spankoffski, who we first met in a Nightmare Time episode.
As they were filmed in lockdown the recording quality is somewhat variable, but Season 2 has a much higher production value than Season 1, and in Season 1 Episode 1 in particular they were very clearly trying to find their feet with it. That being said the actual scripts and content of the episodes is solid throughout.
I've decided to put together this handy guide of which Nightmare Time episodes people might want to check out if they want to learn more about certain things we saw in NPMD.
1) Nibbly - Honey Queen (season 2 episode 1)
If you're curious to learn more about the Lords in Black each of them (bar Wiggly) have an episode of Nightmare Time devoted to them.
For Nibbly, Wiggly's hungriest and pinkest brother that episode is 'Honey Queen' in Season 2 Episode 1.
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It explores a very entertaining rivalry between Linda Monroe (from Black Friday) and Zoey (the annoying barista from Beanie's in TGWDLM) that naturally turns very very dark. We also get to meet Linda's husband Gerald who she spends most of Black Friday on the phone to.
As a heads up Nibbly doesn't appear until, shall we say, the end of the episode (with Hatchetfield there's always a twist) and he's not in the super sexy form from NPMD but it's a very strong episode and does give a bit of background to Nibbly's deal.
2) Tinky - Time Bastard (season 1 episode 2 part 2)
If you're curious to learn more about this yellow motherfucker played by Curt then you're in luck because he's in my personal favourite episode and one with a lot of interesting lore surrounding it.
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If you're curious about what he means when in NPMD he says 'I could add another Spankoffski to my set', Time Bastard is focused around Pete's brother Ted (from TGWDLM) and the dodgy dealings of CCRP.
It's an extremely clever episode, with lots of really fun twists. It's unfortunately season 1 so has slightly lower production quality, but in terms of raw scripting is just outstanding and has some really interesting reveals about people in the Hatchetfield universe who may not be who we think they are...
Also worth noting that this is in the same episode (Youtube video) as a different Nightmare Time episode 'Forever and Always'. Most episodes work like this where you have two different stories per episode, they absolutely can be watched independently but usually have some sort of thematic link (in this case it's the things we do for love and how they will inevitably be thwarted by CCRP being sketch).
3) Blinky - Watcher World (season 1 episode 1 part 2)
And if you're curious about the one who's always watching you, he's actually the first Lord in Black we meet through Nightmare Time, in the very first episode when Bill and Alice Woodward (TGWDLM) go on an ill fated trip to a spooky theme park.
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Again this is from the first episode so production quality is low but it's a really solid episode and a very interesting look into these characters.
While this is our first meeting of a lord in black in Nightmare Time, I don't believe he's actually referred to as such, and the concept of the Lords in Blacks being introduced as Wiggly's brothers comes in at point 5 on this list.
4) Pokey - Yellow Jacket (season 2 episode 4)
You've already met Pokey through TGWDLM (yep that was his blue shit that destroyed the world!), but you won't truly realise how fucking scary he is until you meet his incarnation 'Otho' in Yellow Jacket.
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A solid episode exploring Lex, Hannah and Ethan in a lot more detail, and in a world and lives where (at least at the start of the episode) things seem to be a lot more stable for them than in Black Friday.
And yeh as I've already mentioned Pokey is fucking s c a r y in it. Also you remember James Tolbert's character, Charles that gets a little cameo in Hatchetown? Well he's the main human antagonist of this episode!
We also learn a lot of lore about 'the gift', the thing that makes Hannah able to do magic.
5) The concept of the Lords in Black generally - The Witch in the Web (season 2 episode 3 part 2)
If you're curious about why everyone's been posting pictures of those evil teddy bears and now even more confused that you've met them all as fucked up high school students, the Witch in the Web is the episode where we're first introduced to the 'they don't care bears' as a set.
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This is a really cool episode, again about Lex and Hannah, but it also exploring Uncle Wiley (from Black Friday) in a lot more detail.
We also first meet two characters called Duke and Miss Holloway who together form the ship Holloduke that if you were following any of Starkid tumblr during lockdown you will definitely have heard of. They're really cool!
Here we also meet Webby, Hannah's imaginary friend in Black Friday, who turns out to be the lord in black's sister: a queen in white. And she's dope.
6) Pete Spankoffski, Stephanie Lauter and Grace Chasity - Abstinence Camp (season 2 episode 2 part 2)
We first meet the now beloved characters of Pete and Steph and the slightly less beloved character of Grace in an evangelical abstinence only camp. The episode centers entirely around these characters and plays excellently with tropes of the horror genre.
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It also has the best song in all of Nightmare Time and it's up to you to decide if I'm talking about 'oh my god it's the axe-man' or 'virginity rocks' (it's both, the answer is both).
That's pretty much it in terms of Nightmare Time episodes that cover things from NPMD, but in case you're curious here's a quick run down of what the rest are about:
The Hatchetfield Ape Man - season 1 episode 1 part 1. Hidgens makes Ted pretend to be a Tarzan style half monkey, half man thing to con Angela Giarratanna out of her inheretence.
Watcher World - season 1 episode 1 part 2. See bullet 3 above. Alice and Bill Woodward go to a theme park and shit hits the fan.
Forever and Always - season 2 episode 2 part 1. Paul and Emma get married. Things are not as they seem (there are robots). One of my personal favourites.
Time Bastard - season 2 episode 2 part 2. See bullet 2 above. Ted fucks with time travel and things end very badly for him. Best episode imo.
Jane's a Car - season 2 episode 3 part 1. Turns out the soul of Tom Houston's ex-wife Jane, who died in a car crash, transferred into the car. This somewhat complicates his budding relationship with Becky Barnes.
The Witch in the Web - season 2 episode 3 part 2. See bullet 5 above. Hannah Foster's having nightmares and somehow a witch and Uncle Wiley are involved. Luckily a good witch (Miss Holloway) is there to try and help.
Honey Queen - season 2 episode 1. See bullet 1 above. Linda Monroe and Zoey Chambers compete to win the Hatchetfield honey queen beauty pageant and things spiral wildly out of control. My personal favourite episode from season 2.
Perky's Buds - season 2 episode 2 part 1. Emma's finally achieved her dream of owning her own pot farm. Just her, her non-binary farm hand Ziggs and some very evil birds.
Abstinence Camp - season 2 episode 2 part 2. See bullet 6 above. Pete, Steph and Grace go to a retreat in the very creepy woods to learn one way or another about the perils of pre-marital sex.
Daddy - season 2 episode 3 part 1. Remember Sherman Young (Jamie's weird creepy guy from Black Friday)? Turns out there's something very weird going on with his mum. We also learn a lot about Frank Pricely (owner of toyzone from Black Friday) in this episode, who turns out to be a very interesting character.
Killer Track - season 2 episode 3 part 2. Miss Holloway must take extreme action to save a young girl and then the whole world against an evil song that kills anyone who listens to it. We learn a lot more about Holloway as a character and she is soooo cool. Another favourite episode of mine.
Yellow Jacket - season 2 episode 4. See bullet point 4. Hannah seeing her sister struggling to provide for them financially decides to find a way of using her power to earn some spare cash.
Hey Melissa - episode aired only on a livestream, type it into youtube and it'll come up. If you've ever found yourself asking 'what if Mariah's secretary character from the start of TGWDLM was really into dom pup play and Paul Matthews was her little pup bitch and she was also a horrific out of control serial killer?' then a) are you Matt Lang because if not I'm concerned? and b) by god this is the episode for you!. I personally really enjoy it I think it's super funny, but obviously heavy trigger warnings for abuse and sexual content warnings (there's a reason they didn't put this in the real series). Fucking excellent tho.
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cameronspecial · 5 months
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Hi, so I have a scenario in mind; where Zach loses his memories and instead of fixating on a relationship, he can't even remember having, he instead finds himself falling for his best friend, and conveniently, the only person he does remember. And it's just Y/n trying to convince him of all the good times he and his girlfriend had (because she's a "good friend that wants him to be happy even if it's not with her") but he couldn't care less, because none of the superficial shit she tells him, compares to the memories he has of her.
She'd be like, "Oh, you two are so cute, omg 🙄 you take walks together, you eat together, everyone thinks you look cute together. Blah blah blah..."
And he's basically like, "and what? A dog and his owner could do that. But us? That's the real shit, baby." Sorry, this got long xx
That Shit Has Nothing On Us
Pairing: Zach MacLaren x Reader
Warnings: Swearing
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 0.5K
Masterlist
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When Zach got hit by the car, the only person he could remember was Y/N. Even though they were best friends and attached by the hip before the accident, he, now, clings to her like Winnie the Pooh to a honey pot and not in the same way he did before he got hit. He becomes more affectionate and touchy. He always wants to have skin-to-skin contact with her in some way. He always wants to be around her. She’s tried to tell him that he has Zoey Wallace. That she is his girlfriend, he just doesn’t care. Sure, she has had a crush on them since they were five, but she knows he is Zoey’s and she doesn’t want to do anything to jeopardize his relationship. 
They are watching the Scream franchise and he knows they don’t scare her, yet he insists on wrapping his arm around her. “I don’t know why you wanted to have a marathon. They aren’t scary and are so predictable,” she complains, groaning at the not-surprising death of another character. Zach shrugs, “Come on. Don’t tell me you aren’t a little scared.” His arm brings her closer to his side. “Zach, they literally do the oh no the killer isn’t actually killed bit in every movie,” she points out. He grins at her, “Well, if you don’t want to watch the movies, then we can always make out.” “You have a girlfriend, Zach. You guys used to be so in love. You would go on walks to practice together. Kick the ball around. Eat with each other,” she argues, moving out of his hold. He gets up and looks into her eyes, “Everything I’ve done and talked about with her is all surface-level shit. It’s like I’m a dog and she’s my owner. But us? That’s the real shit, Baby. Everything I remember about us has always been so much deeper than anything I have with her.” “You can’t compare the present with the past. You just don’t know the deeper stuff you’ve had with her,” Y/N disagrees with a shake of her head. 
“I’m comparing the present with the present Y/N. She’s always on the move with life and stuff and never takes the time to just stop. She never lets us get to know each other again.” 
“I don’t know what you want me to do, Zach?”
“I want you to say that you’ll let me kiss you.”
“You have a girlfriend.”
“Not anymore.”
Y/N freezes at his words. “W-what? What do you mean you not anymore?” He gives her a smile, “We broke up. I didn’t feel it was right to keep dating her when I’m in love with you.” “Y-you’re in love with me?” she asks with hope in her eyes. He steps closer to her, “Since we were five years old.” Her arms wrap around his neck and their lips meet in a fiery kiss. Who knew amnesia could be the start of a beautiful thing? 
Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia
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convolutedblasphemy · 2 months
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I wasn't shitting you guys btw I actually made the one-sided radiostatic playlists
here is my lyrical masterpiece. both the vox version and the alastor one. done my best to make it as lyrically accurate as possible. @styrofauxm @onesidedradiostatic i hope you enjoy this (go check out the full lyrics for the songs on google if you can't listen to it but i recommend it because all of these are bangers) feat. my stupid commentary and vox's pathetic wet cat energy
Click to listen to the Vox one on YouTube
1. the hearse — matt maeson
thought this one fit so well lyrically. the "what was it like to feel in love" part i interpreted as vox asking himself that rather than alastor
❞ i am the man we both couldn't stand, i can't wash off the dirt from my hands, what was it like to feel in love? [...] i will never go backwards, i will never be free, i will never run faster; will you sink down to me? ❝
2. i'm just ken — ryan gosling
i'm not even adding lyrics to this one, everyone should have seen the barbie movie and this song at this point. this just HAD to be in there. can you feel the kenergy?
3. too many friends — placebo
less about alastor, more about vox's existential crisis
❞ my computer thinks I'm gay, i threw that piece of junk away on the champs-elysées as I was walking home. this is my last communique, down the superhighway. all that I have left to say in a single tome... ❝
4. creep — radiohead
i mean isn't this literally his theme song?
❞ when you were here before... couldn't look you in the eye. you're just like an angel. your skin makes me cry. you float like a feather in a beautiful world. i wish I was special. you're so fuckin' special. but I'm a creep, i'm a weirdo, what the hell am I doin' here? ❝
5. where evil grows — the poppy family
y'all seen the sonic movie? we need to see vox do that dance.
❞ i like the way you smile at me, i felt the heat that enveloped me and what i saw i liked to see. i never knew where evil grew. i should have steered away from you, my friend told me to keep clear of you but something drew me near to you ❝
6. one of us — ava max
i had to edit this one a bit in the video and cut out the part about the kissing because that for sure didn't happen
❞ one of us would die for love; one of us would give it up. one of us would risk it all; one of us won't even call. one of us could say goodbye, never even bat an eye... ❝
7. colorblind — amber riley
more pathetic wet cat energy brought to you by yours truly
❞ i don't think that i'll ever find that silver lining or reason to smile. you know i used to paint such vibrant dreams, now I'm colorblind, colorblind. when did my heart get so full of never mind, never mind? did you know that you stole the only thing I needed? ❝
8. arcade — duncan lawrence
more pathetic wet cat energy brought to you by yours truly
❞ a broken heart is all that's left. i'm still fixing all the cracks. lost a couple of pieces when i carried it, carried it, carried it home. i've spent all of the love I saved. we were always a losing game; small town boy in a big arcade, i got addicted to a losing game... all i know, all i know: loving you is a losing game. ❝
9. if i can't have you — skylar astin
i picked the version from zoey's extraordinary playlist on purpose because the context of this scene is that the dude who sings it hires a bunch of singers and dancers to confess in a public space as you, the viewer, sit there and cringe at him as he gets rejected. if that doesn't have vox energy, i don't know what does.
❞ i'm good at keepin' my distance (lie), i know that you're the feelin' I'm missing. you know that I hate to admit it but everything means nothin' if I can't have you. i can't write one song that's not about you, can't drink without thinkin' about you. is it too late to tell you that everything means nothing if I can't have you? ❝
10. do you want me (dead)? — all time low
when vox asks himself whether alastor wants him or wants him dead it's definitely the second option.
❞ i let it ride on a bet, i doubled down on a sinking ship; need a second to catch my breath: do you want me? or do you want me dead? oh, give it up for at least a second; i'm getting sick of your bullshit attitude and how you walk around like you shine brighter, it's killing me, so what do you say? do you want me? or do you want me dead? ❝
11. push — ryan gosling
i can't just put one musical number from the barbie movie in and not include the other one that fits equally as well.
❞ said, i don't know if I've ever been good enough. i'm a little bit rusty and I think my head is cavin' in. and I don't know if I've ever been really loved by a hand that's touched me, and I feel like something's got to give and I'm a little bit angry, well, this ain't over, no, not here, no; not while I still need you around. ❝
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Ice-cold rejection & vicious mockery: Alastor's version
the contrast of this is the best part.
Click here to listen to the Alastor one on YouTube
1. little big boy — madds buckley
he doesn't go easy on him. this is 0 compassion and 100% roast.
❞ brimstone fire and eyes aglow, little big boy's making the whole world know his name. raised on pillars and shining lights, breathing smoke for the right to keep his place. never satisfied 'till they all see how big this little boy can be. well the water's rising; tide's comin' in. does little big boy know how to swim in a pond filled with fish bigger than him? ❝
2. i help you hate me — sunrise avenue
he's so helpful fr but it's not working unfortunately
❞ i broke many hearts throughout my days. yours was the hardest one to face. though, I've never been a saint, i still love you every day, just not the lover kind of way. i know you wanna see me falling out, falling out the window. i know you wanna see me crashing down, crashing with my plane. baby, i'm way too young to die but I'll help you get over me. ❝
3. no surprise — daughtry
this is one of my favorite bands, i'm glad i got to include this.
❞ it came out like a river once i let it out when i thought that i wouldn't know how. held onto it forever just pushing it down, felt so good to let go of it now. not wrapping this in ribbons, shouldn't have to give a reason why: it's no surprise i won't be here tomorrow, i can't believe that I stayed 'til today. there's nothing here in this heart left to borrow. there's nothing here in this soul left to save. don't be surprised when we hate us tomorrow. ❝
4. go screw yourself — avery
i can picture him 1:1 delivering a swing version of this when vox confesses to him
❞ i know i've been holding it in, the way i feel about you. something i've been dying to say but I don't know how you'll take it; oh please don't go; you should know these three words i've been holding back; trying to fight, i'mma let 'em out... these three words, gotta let you know, here I go: go screw yourself. i've had enough, yeah, now we're done. ❝
5. the audacity — emelyn
this one's such a bop honestly. had to cut it in the video because i can't picture alastor realistically crying over anything vox-related.
❞ think your opinions should be broadcast... even though no one's subscribing, listening or liking but by all means, keep whining. must be tough if life's so rough. you should buy a mic, start a podcast, even though, wait, nobody asked. [...] where do all these men find the audacity? no actually, i'm stunned by your stupidity. ❝
6. friends — halocene
this one had to be on here.
❞ have you got no shame? you're looking insane turning up at my door. it's two in the morning, the rain is pouring, haven't we been here before? [...] so don't go look at me with that look in your eye, you really ain't going away without a fight. you can't be reasoned with, i'm done being polite. i've told you one, two, three, four, five, six thousand times. haven't I made it obvious? haven't I made it clear? want me to spell it out for you? f-r-i-e-n-d-s ❝
7. can't catch me now — olivia rodrigo
he likes the attention def especially after his return
❞ bet you thought i'd never do it, thought it'd go over my head. i bet you figured i'd pass with the winter, be somethin' easy to forget. oh, you think i'm gone 'cause i left but i'm in the trees, i'm in the breeze, my footsteps on the ground. you'll see my face in every place but you can't catch me now. through wading grass, the months will pass, you'll feel it all around. i'm here, i'm there, i'm everywhere but you can't catch me now ❝
8. take a hint — victoria justice & elizabeth gillies
this is on every rejection playlist and it's gonna be on mine too. a bop even after all these years.
❞ ask me for my number, yeah, you put me on the spot. you think that we should hook up, but I think that we should not. you had me at "hello", then you opened up your mouth and that is when it started going south. [...] what about "no" don't you get? so go and tell your friends i'm not really interested. it's about time that you're leavin', i'm gonna count to three and open my eyes and you'll be gone ❝
9. no — madilyn bailey & megan nicole
more rejection for y'all. the world needs more mean aroaces and this playlist is my contribution.
❞ first you gonna say you ain't runnin' game, thinking i'm believing every word; call me beautiful, so original, telling me I'm not like other girls, i was in my zone before you came along, now i'm thinking maybe you should go ❝
10. oh no — marina and the diamonds
a classic.
❞ don′t do love, don't do friends; i′m only after success. don't need a relationship, i'll never soften my grip [...] i know exactly what i want and who i want to be. i know exactly why i walk and talk like a machine. i'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy. ❝
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Reblogs are appreciated!
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unmellowyellowfellow · 6 months
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NOBODY MOVE
the writer is writing
no sudden movements or you might --
*writer scurries away*
WELL NOW LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE YOU SCARED IT OFF
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averagecygnet-blog · 1 month
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one thing I absolutely adore about tgwdlm is how completely and irrevocably a stage musical it is. it HAS to be a stage musical - the medium is so deeply baked into the story that it truly would not translate to another medium.
some reasons why:
the musical style is old-fashioned in a way that screams classic broadway. you can't get away from it, especially in songs like "lah dee dah dah day" and "show stoppin number". and it's not just the music, it's the dancing too - have you ever seen a kickline in a movie musical, once, ever? or jazz hands? gimme a break
along similar lines - all the broadway references! hamilton of course, but also wicked and mamma mia and jekyll & hyde
all the attention deliberately brought to the lighting and set! the performers in "la dee dah dah day" loudly saying "lights down!" when it's over; ted, paul, and emma striking the stage after "show stoppin number"; the lighting panels used as sirens, TVs, showcasing hudgins' alexa, and more; ted wheeling the big meteor prop off the stage after "let it out". they don't let you forget that we're in a theater.
all the hokey ass miming and special effects???? charlotte and hudgins having their guts ripped out is flashy and fun onstage because of the intestine props. emma and ted having blood capsules in their mouths. paul, emma, and zoey violently shaking when pantomiming being in a helicopter. ted running in place, moving forward or back to suggest movement across the road. it's all so fun and consistently reminds you that this is a stage
double-casting as intentional obstruction of the truth. we're used to seeing one actor play several roles in a musical, so when a familiar face shows up in a new costume we assume it's a new character. but it was zoey flying the helicopter to clivesdale, and I think it was zoey in the hospital at the end as well. you couldn't pull that shit in a movie because movies don't double-cast.
the role of the audience, the laughter and gasps and reactions and applause, especially the applause at the end when emma is begging the audience members to let her use their phone and demanding to know why they're clapping; sure movies have audiences too but the presence of the audience as part of the story makes a point about societal ideals as something we all have a part in that a movie just couldn't make in the same way
on a related note - emma's sudden awareness of the stage and the audience as the horror trope where the person realizes they're trapped and will imminently die. she knows she can't escape because it's just a fuckin loop. she knows no one will save her because they're all clapping. you couldn't do that in a movie because in a movie there is a fourth wall, whereas on a stage there's nowhere for the characters to run away. on a stage the characters can look you, the audience, directly in the eye, with no camera or screen between you
I will literally never shut up about that curtain call
god damn what I wouldn't give to watch this show performed live
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mysillytdsideblog · 7 months
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My headcanons for mike & co
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Vito
Co-host w/ Mike from ages 14-16
Mentally 18-19 ish
System big brother
Handles a lot of the family issues
The one who steps up fr
Sexual Protector Alter
Trauma Holder, but doesnt have a full picture of their trauma
Sexualizes self for attention
Just a cool guy if u get to know him
Wishes he was more built irl lol
He was the one dating their first girlfriend
She didnt know about their DID, both Mike and Vito would rather keep that private
Wants a normal life
Also held down their first job (semi-canon)
He gives a shit but can be emotionally reserved
He doesn’t hate Mal, he just finds him frustrating
A bit of a troublemaker but not out of wanting bad for the system, it’s just the way he is
Creeped out by Mal, thats why he doesn’t like him
Secretly holds grudges but doesn’t tell them unless he’s picking a fight
Kinda a pothead
Chester
Mentally 60s-70s
No specific trauma memories, but he was split from trauma
Has never been the host but he switches in quite often
One of the first alters to have been discovered by their psych
At first the psych thought they were faking just cause of how theatrical Chester was, and how much it annoyed Mal
The psych thought they were faking to get out of juvie
Not to help, Mal said it was a “voice in his head” and would talk to him out loud, not caring who heard
He’s not an introject, but they don’t know why he’s old
He just is who he is
They don’t know why he has a scar over his eye, they presume there’s a trauma reason for it but nobody has any memory of something bad happening to their eye
He feels like he’s a grandfather to Mike, but the feeling’s not reciprocated
Not yet at least
Mike learns to love him
He gets annoyed by Chester still but he finds him more endearing
He likes his hot beverages and pastries
And yelling at the tv
He finds commenting on everything so entertaining
He’s co-con 80% of the time
He finds fronting to be physically exhausting, like it makes him physically feel his age
Has chronic pain in his hips and joints, his psych says it’s phantom pain
He loves his psych, he could go on for hours
He loves little kitty cats! There has never been a cat he couldn’t pet
He wishes he was more welcome when visiting nursing homes, he feels lonely but they don’t like his “portrayal” of an old man
He had gotten kicked out before
Actually, he gets kicked out of places quite often
He has health anxiety and constantly thinks he’s going to fall ill and die
His doctor is so fed up
He believes so many wives tales and basically you can tell him anything and he will believe you (unless he’s in a mood, then he’s just going to shout at you)
Mal
Ambigious early childhood to age 13 host
Mentally shifts between 13 to 17
Persecutor/Protector
Mainly a physical protector, kind of the mind’s back up plan for when things get rough and he needs to protect himself or take action
Holds most of the memory of the physical abuse
Split directly for that reason
He was one of the first
Hates his parents and tries to cause problems as a revenge for all the abuse he endured
Sadistic for this reason
He knew from a very young age that nobody was coming to save him, and they never did
Telling all the trauma he knew about in a court ordered psychiatric evaluation was the main reason he got diagnosed, but he was hoping it was going to put his parents in prison
It didnt
He was originally going to be diagnosed with ASPD before they scrapped that for just a DID diagnosis, mainly because his symptoms were too mixed and inconsistent due to the other alters existing
He still agrees ASPD fits him though and after TDAS he does more specific treatments for it in therapy
They do get diagnosed with ODD though
Basically everyone but Svetlana shows symptoms for it
Mal has it the worst because he has so much pent up hatred from everyone who hurt or failed him
And he only gets the bare minimum when he takes it into his own hands, but its better than nothing
Really clashed with Zoey at first but he was the one to make her understand them more, in his own roundabout way
Actually became close friends with Zoey even if they have their conflicts
Mike
Same age as body
Kinda bigender tbh but he’s not ready for that
Thinks he should be the one to call all the shots because he thinks hes the original
Hes not, there is none
Doesn’t have a lot of childhood memories
Nobody tells him about their trauma
Besides Mal when he’s trying to prove a point
He hates Mal because Mal threatens his sense of control
He overcompensates, being a system scares him so if he’s in charge he will be able to make sure everything’s ok
Just finally coming out of denial, still half in it
He hates being a system
Rude to his alters!!!
After All Stars, he sees his psych again who scolds him
And teaches him to accept his disorder
He does better
He compromises more, he learns that his alters are people too, he adapts to his multiplicity and eventually is the key to achieving functionality between all of them
He struggles to accept Mal, because of his persecutory nature, but he learns why Mal does what he does and with a little work from them both they are able to compromise
Mal has to grow and learn too don’t get me wrong
Svetlana
Same age as body
Transbian
Doesn’t mind being a system tbh
She likes the company
Hosts for short periods but only for upcoming competitions really because its hard for her to pretend to be a singlet
She doesn’t like hiding who she is, she’s way more open about her DID than the others are
She wishes she has more girl friends to talk with but they all know her as mike or mal :(
Total sporty girl she is multi talented in soooo many sports
Gymnastics is her fav obv
Why she has an accent? Who knows? Possibly an introject or maybe shes just like that but as far back as they remember she was there
They are all confused
Has good childhood memories, trauma free
She definitely loved recess and fronted a lot during the school years
Loves making friends, shes very social and kind!!
She’s also the most understanding and gives the best advice
Very emotional and it can be quite theatrical, on par with chester
She’s the one who gets along the most with their parents
Picky eater
She likes to eat clean and hates that the other alters eat meat because she finds it soooo gross
Has her own separate drawer in their dresser for her clothes
Bird lover and has owned pet birds before
Manitoba
Introject, half indiana jones-half steve irwin
Not a fusion he was just made like that
30s-40s
The most recent split
Has a fleshed out part of the interworld including NPCs (like his wife) and spends most of his time there (semi-canon)
He doesn’t prefer to front, he just found total drama fun to compete in
Dreams of traveling the world
Really longs for his innerworld to be real
Tries to keep everyone in line
Wishes they would be less trouble
He doesn’t side with anyone, which makes Mike very angry but he can also see a side to Mal that Mike can’t
He’s the most logical and level headed one
Loves collecting things especially memorabilia from places he’s been
He knows so many animal facts and just general knowledge
It makes Mike feel stupid cause he doesn’t know all that but its in his brain, it confused him how that works still
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manorpunk · 23 days
Text
“I don’t know. Whenever we try to do stuff, me and Zoey, half the time she starts crying and freaking out, and she says it’s not my fault and she says she likes me, but…” Saintjohn Hadouken sighed through pinched lips, hard enough to make his cheeks puff, and shook his head, “...feels like I’m hurting her.”
Johnny Newsroom looked off into the distance and took a pensive pull of his vape. “She said she likes you?”
“Yeah. I just don’t know what’s going on.”
Johnny turned his head to look him in the eye. “Have you ever dated a trans gal before?”
Saintjohn shook his head. “I’m fuckin figuring out some shit about myself, bro.”
“It’s… she’s… let’s put it this way. Imagine if your dick looked like a scary clown.”
Saintjohn flinched. “I don’t wanna do that. I don’t wanna use my brain powers for evil.”
Johnny continued. “Imagine if every time you took off your pants, a fucked-up evil clown was staring back at you. Imagine trying to get close to someone while you’re like that. Imagine trying to have a sex life. Imagine just trying to love when you’ve got an evil clown under your pants.”
Saintjohn’s frown seemed to stretch beyond the limits of his face. “Can I stop imagining it now?”
Johnny took another pull from his vape. “I don’t think Zoey gets to stop. Everyone’s got a different relationship to their own body, I don’t know Zoey personally, but...” he trailed off, letting Saintjohn fill in the blanks for himself.
Saintjohn leaned against the side of the motorhome and sighed again. “So what am I supposed to do?”
“Do you love her?” Johnny asked.
A pause.
“She makes me happy. When she laughs at my dumbass jokes, I feel like I just cured cancer.”
Saintjohn smiled as soon as he started talking about her. Johnny knew that smile, he felt its residual warmth, the second-hand joy. He wanted the two of them to be happy. He wanted one good thing to happen in the middle of this disaster. The Midwest Autonomous Zone could burn to the ground all over again. As long as he helped two people fall in love, he would have no regrets.
“And, y’know, I wanna get all up in there,” Saintjohn said.
“Okay. Well. To answer your question. Be patient. Let her do things at her pace. Let her figure herself out. Give her space when she needs it, even if you never want to be away from her. If you mess up - and you probably will, we’re only human - swallow your pride, apologize, and try not to do it again. Trust that it will all work out.”
“That sounds really hard.”
Johnny gave him a wry smile. “That’s love.”
[later]
“I’m sorry,” Zoey sniffed, pulling away from Saintjohn, “I just can’t right now. I don’t know if I’ll ever…”
She buried her head in her hands. Her body shuddered with heavy breaths as she began to cry. Saintjohn looked at her. He considered putting a hand on her shoulder, then lowered his arm and simply sat next to her.
“It’s okay,” Saintjohn said, “I understand. You gotta deal with the evil clown.”
Zoey lifted her head. She was too surprised and confused to keep crying. “What?”
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riptideripley · 5 months
Note
i’ve seen your requests are open so can i ask rhea x reader where readers kinda too naïve and chats with everyone but not in a flirty way, she’s just a very talkative person and rhea doesn’t like it because other women flirts with her gf and so rhea punishes her but not after explain to reader what was going on because reader doesn’t know what she did to be punished? thank you ❤️‍🔥
Hers
gif creds: @smfs
Tumblr media
summary:You were Rhea’s girl and everyone knew that,yet they still wanted a chance with you. Rhea didn’t like that one bit and took matters into her own hands.
kinks involved// slight blood kink
wrd count:626
a/n:i’m backkk😇
You were backstage talking with Zoey Stark,right before your girlfriend’s match. Something was off about Zoey but you didn’t mind it,thinking she was just being kind. She would constantly mention your girlfriend just so she could stare at you while you were distracted rambling about Rhea,but this time Rhea had walked by and noticed.
She walked up behind you,glaring at Zoey. “Well..I’ve got to go now honey but maybe we’ll talk later” she stammered out,walking away leaving you confused. “You know..I don’t really like her being around you” she said in a low tone,making you jump slightly. “Baby! How long have you been standing there?” “Long enough to see her flirting” she whispered,pulling you by your waist to her dressing room. Nobody was in there and she pulled you inside,locking the door behind her. She pointed over to the couch and you sat down,understanding her actions as you watched her walk over to her black duffle bag. She reached down looking for something,pulling out a vibrator and some handcuffs. You sat there confused,but didn’t say a word.
She lifted you up with one swift movement,grabbing your wrists as she handcuffed you. You squirmed trying to adjust to the feeling of the cold cuffs,but were quickly cut off of those action as she pressed the vibrator against your clit setting it on the 3rd highest setting. “R-Rhea!” you yelped out,trying hard to bite back moans. She didn’t say anything,just stood there watching you squirm and moan on the couch with a smirk on her face. She left for a moment,returning with a strap attached to her lower half. She lifted you up,placing you down onto the strap still holding the vibrator against your clit.
“S-Shit!” you yelped out,holding onto her arm as you dug your nails into her skin just enough to draw blood. She chuckled at this,lifting her arm to lick the blood off as she slowly began thrusting. god did she love seeing you overstimulated,tears running down your gorgeous face lips slightly puffy. if only she could take a picture..wait. She searched the couch for her phone and glanced at you,”Honey..do you trust me enough to record hm?” she asked softly in your ear,earning a nod from you. She smiled and leaned forward setting up her phone,pressing record. She was definitely using this later.
You tossed your body around,feeling an orgasm approaching quickly. Rhea instantly dove back into your neck,biting sucking and licking every little spot. She was determined to mark your as hers,all hers. “M-Mami please..” you weakly pleaded,blinking rapidly to clear your teary vision. “Go ahead darling,let everyone hear who you belong to” she whispered as she left soft pampering kisses along your neck,making you giggle which was quickly cut off with a loud breathy moan. This made Rhea smile,watching you come completely undone at her mercy. Her fingers moving at a gently caring pace along your sides,throwing the vibrator off to the side as she continued thrusting helping you ride out your orgasm. “shhh..cmere puppy it’s ok” she whispered softly grabbing the key unlocking the handcuffs. You instantly felt relieved,wincing in pain from the cuffs. She took note of the small bruise around them,gently rubbing them.
“and what was all of this for..?” you asked,looking up at her as she grabbed her phone to stop recording. She looked down at you,smiling as you played with her hair gently to relax. “To prove you’re mine,all mine.”
Let’s just say..everyone got the message from that day forward. including zoey.
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