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thinkingisadangerouspastime · 4 years

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banished

“Oh, Mai.” Azula took a step towards her, reaching out with her index finger to trace a solitary tear as it fell down Mai’s face, following its path with a sharp, scarlet nail. “What could I possibly have to gain from lying to you? Here? Now?”

Zuko has been banished. Mai finds out.

(tw: blood and emotional breakdown. this fic is based off the idea that Mai was originally going to give Zuko a heart-shaped rock and he’d hold on to it during his banishment. that detail didn’t make it into canon, so i said - what if she just didn’t get it to him in time?)

Read here on ao3.

“Banished?”

Her voice sounded hollow even to her own ears, echoing quietly in Zuko’s emptied - desolate, abandoned - bedroom. Her mouth had gone completely dry. Mai didn’t - no, she couldn’t believe what she’d heard. It wasn’t true. A lie. It had to be -

“Banished,” Azula repeated coolly, examining her newly-painted fingernails. “Not only did he speak out of turn, but he then refused to fight for his honor! As expected, Father decided he must rightfully suffer the consequences.” She laughed wickedly. Mai could feel her own knives being dragged through her stomach at the sound, and she had to bite back bile rising in her throat. “You won’t believe this, Mai. Father sent him off on an impossible mission to find the Avatar. Uncle’s gone with him.” Azula’s upper lip curled in disgust. “A far more merciful task than he deserves, if you ask me. But sad as it is to say” - she shrugged calmly, without a hint of grief in her eyes - “I don’t think poor Zuzu will ever return.”

Mai inhaled sharply, her heart seizing in her chest as her grip on the stone - the gift, the love - in her left hand tightened to the point where the sharp edges dug into her skin. “You’re lying.”

Banished.

Mai jerked away from her touch, ignoring how Azula’s nail dug across the skin atop her cheekbone. There was a long pause before she managed to find her voice. “Will that be all, Princess Azula?” Her tone was low, her eyes trained on the floor.

“Hm… Yes, I suppose it is.” Azula adjusted the crimson, flame-shaped headpiece tucked in her hair. “I just figured you’d want to know why Zuko won’t be… available anymore.” Her gaze drifted down to Mai’s hand, still tightly gripping the stone. “A pity you weren’t able to give him that in time, isn’t it? You were only a day too late.”

A day.

Banished.

Mai nodded stiffly in response, a quiet, “Thank you for informing me,” barely escaping her lips before her voice disappeared once more. The emptiness of her tone made her sick to her stomach.

Azula laughed. “My, my. Gratitude is a pretty look on you, Mai.” She twisted one of the ribbons in Mai’s hair around her fingers twice before pulling away. “I’ll have to remember that.” She then took a step back, offering Mai a smile. A smile that didn’t reach her golden eyes. “But I’m sure this is… a lot for you to process right now. So I’ll give you some space. Let you…” She chuckled. “Well, say your goodbyes. To what’s left of him, at least.” With that, Azula left Zuko’s bedroom, the door quietly clicking shut behind her.

Mai didn’t move at first, her friend’s - friends didn’t treat each other like that - words keeping her frozen in place. It wasn’t until she felt a warm wetness in her left hand that she realized she’d been clutching the heart-shaped rock so tightly the edges had cut into her palm.

Mai’s first motion was to drop the stone. Her second was barely managing to grab the post of Zuko’s bed as her knees buckled beneath her and she collapsed, only just able to stop herself from falling all the way to the floor.

Banished.

Through the tears clouding her vision, Mai could see that the heart-shaped stone - her heart - was now coated with crimson. Blood. Her own blood. The plan had been to paint it following Ty Lee’s advice, a foolish - “No, Mai, it’s sweet!” - gesture of giving her heart to Zuko.

It seemed the paint job had been done for her. Smeared. Incomplete. But red. Bleeding red.

Banished.

A sob escaped her lips, and Mai bit her tongue so hard she tasted metal. She would not cry. She would not show weakness, or vulnerability. She would be silent. Still. Invisible. Perfect.

Perfect. That was all she ever needed to be, wasn’t it?

Mai slowly released the bedpost to stare down at the palms of her hands. The stark contrast of crimson blood against her pale skin was as fascinating as it was nauseating, and for a long time, she found herself unable to look away.

Banished.

Mai forced her gaze upwards, eyes widening in horror as she came face-to-face with her own reflection. Bloodied palms, a dripping scratch that darted across her left cheek, red-rimmed and fearful eyes, maroon ribbons imbalanced and askew - disgraceful. Shameful. Humiliating. Imperfect.

Imperfect. That was all she would ever be, wasn’t it?

(Too late. She’d been a day too late.)

Hands shaking, Mai weakly reached up to untie the two ribbons adoring her face, not caring about the blood trickling off her palms as she did so. She winced, jerking the ribbons out one after the other. Her hair tumbled down, falling just below her shoulders.

She levelled her gaze with that of her reflection. Empty eyes, hard eyes, unblinking eyes. Sad girl, lonely girl. Pity the girl. Zuko gone, Ty Lee gone, Azula never there. The poor rich girl all alone once again.

Banished.

A single tear trickled down her nose and into her mouth, the taste of blood and salt a vile combination.

Banished.

Her chest heaved as she battled back a second sob, hands clenching at her sides.

Banished.

“Shut up!” Mai screamed, grabbing her heart, her heart oozing crimson, Mai grabbed her bleeding heart from the floor and threw it at the mirror, shattering the smooth, perfect glass into a dozen jagged, imperfect fragments. Broken. Bloodied. Beyond repair.

Now it matched.

(She hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye.)

Banished.

#adding link after i post as per usual!#mai #maiko #azula #zuko #maizula if you squint but not really #mai angst #atla #avatar the last airbender #atla angst #amy writes #atla fanfic #maiko angst #read this and feel my pain :)#it hurts more when you remember she's only 12 or 13 #alternative title: mai has an azula-esque breakdown #and by that i mean there's a mirror involved

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bellatrixobsessed1 · 4 years

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Azula Week 2020; Day 1 - Take Back Your Stones

Prompt: Love Pair: Jet/Azula Song: Blink182 - I Really Wish I Hated You

Summary: Azula is banished to the Earth Kingdom, its citizens don’t take kindly to her being there. Only one person seems to sympathize. One person who doesn’t particularly like firebenders.

He knows what it is like to have his reality so fragmented. So shattered, his worldviews broken. He supposes that there is irony in that she has contributed to that shattering world view.

The fire princess peers up at him through strands of tangled hair. He wonders how it is that she got to be like this; semi-incoherent and wandering Earth Kingdom streets in the middle of the night.

He wants to hate her, he is supposed to hate her. She is exactly what he hates, a human embodiment of the Fire Nation and all of its ideals and war crimes. And yet she looks so small and so thoroughly exhausted like the ruins of a once grand empire.

In this girl he sees hatred and ruthlessness. He sees soldiers marching and razing homes and crops. In this girl he sees lives being uprooted. In this girl he sees a life uprooted.

He thinks that she is every bit as broken as anyone else touched by the war. He rubs his hand over his face, trying to remind himself that she stands for everything he despises. That she is everything that he despises.

He’d heard tell that she had been tried for her war crimes and was ultimately sentenced to have her titled revoked and to be sentenced to exile. That the other nations wouldn’t accept any further negotiations nor peace offerings until she was either executed or stripped out power and banished. Jet wonders if the Fire Lord is remorseful that his hand had been forced in such a way. Or if he is thrilled to have shown his sister out. Jet decides to himself that Zuko is happy, firebenders have no sense of loyalty nor family value. There is no room for it when honor, power, and formality are valued above all else.

Evidently, Jet doesn’t understand the logic of the former princess’ exil, even if he thinks that she has earned it. All it has done is put her in their streets to terrorize them rather than her own people.

He glances over at the princess again, she isn’t exactly doing much terrorizing. She is slumped against the wall. From what he can tell, she is cold. Or maybe it is stress that makes her shiver. His heart clenches. He grits he teeth, trying to will compassion and sympathy away. He doesn’t even want to spare her pity. But then she meets his eyes. It can only be him that she is staring at because he is the only other person out so late.

She looks away just as fast and he hustles away from her.

.oOo.

He doesn’t see her again for some weeks and when he does, she is noticeably thinner and dirtier. Her hair is even more scraggly. Her eyes are vacant. He notices that her arms and legs are bruised and have a helping of openly bleeding cuts.

A few hours of observing from afar and he knows why. Throwing rocks at the fallen princess is a source of entertainment for kids and adults alike. It is a game for both the wealthy and the impoverished, because both classes are above her. They know it. She knows it. She doesn’t fight back. She either lacks the will or is too malnourished to stand a chance.

He tries to smile and relish in such a powerful symbol for the Fire Nation being tormented. But he finds that it just...hurts? The smile never comes and he feels sick for having wanted to do it.

The next day, out of morbid curiosity, he finds himself back at the same restaurant, looking across the same street. He finishes a helping of ostrich-horse meat and pushes his chair in. She is still on that corner and a gaggle of men and women at least two years her senior are casting stones again.

Absently, he finds himself walking towards the scene. “Oh, hi Jet.” Greets the smallest woman. He doesn’t know them. He doesn’t know a good many of the people who know his name. Who have heard about his time as a Freedom Fighter and the day he’d nearly died saving the Avatar. They talk to him with respect and yet they keep him outcast. He is too rough and unpredictable for their liking.

“Hey.” He gives a small wave.

“Here, have a go.” The oldest looking boy presses a sizable rock into his palm. “You at their kind more than us.”

They step aside and let him through. He hasn’t ever been this close to the former princess. His stomach sinks at the site. It is one thing to glance her haggard state from afar and another to observe it up close. The welts on her arm have the appearance of a blooming infection, she smells of sickness too. Her hair is matted in places and might be infested with lice.

“What are you waiting for?” Asks the second girl.

He waits for her lips to part and inquire, “yes, what are you waiting for.” But the firebender sits silent and waiting. And those eyes, there is nothing in them. He supposes that, that made it easier to let the stone fly. It nails her on the forehead and she flinches. His stomach lurches unpleasantly, he hadn’t expected her to flinch. He hadn’t expected her to make a sound, especially not one so feeble.

She recovers rather quickly, retreating back into whatever numbness she’d been in before.

He doesn’t return to that restaurant. He doesn’t want to see her again. She’s a firebender, he hates her. And yet he doesn’t want to see that kind of suffering again. But he does.

He sees it nearly a month later. He lingers by a food cart, snacking on an apple, three copper pieces well spent. He doesn’t see her at first. He hears her before he sees her. And it is not her that he hears first. He takes the final bite of his apple and is about to discard it when he hears a slap. He watches an apple fall from her grasp.

“That’s not for you!” The merchant scowls.

She holds up three copper pieces. The merchant swats them away and she scrambles to pick them up before someone else can. “Not. For. You.” The man repeats.

A Freedom Fighter, that’s what he’d called himself. He’d prided himself on fighting on behalf of people who could use the help. Earthbenders and waterbenders, he reminds himself. He watches her slink away before returning to the stall and offering the man three more copper pieces.

.oOo.

Azula’s stomach rumbles. She had been holding back for quite some time now. Partly due to a lack of funding--she’d spent everything she’d managed to save on healing her infected cuts--and partly due to her reluctance to talk to anyone. But her body couldn’t afford another day without food…

She holds her right hand in her left and rubs the stinging red patch.The weight of the three copper pieces is heavy in the hand that she holds. That stall had been the only one in her price range and its owner has refused her service. Maybe it is a sign that she should just let go.

Something thuds onto her lap and she gives a reflexive cringe. Yet it doesn’t hurt like a rock and it hasn’t been thrown with any real force. She picks up the apple and stares at the boy. “You wanted it, eat it.”

She narrows her eyes, it can’t be… And it isn’t. When he takes a seat next to her, she realizes that his face is not scarred.

Though she does recognize the face. She has no name for it, but she has caught him several times observing her as though she is some sort of feral animal. She has to admit that she does feel like one. Everyone treats her like one. And he had too. She wants to reject the apple, but her body’s cravings get the better of her and she eats it almost with a degree of greed. It is wholly undignified.

“So…” The boy starts.

“What?” She asks.

“I just bought you food.” He grumbles. “I didn’t have to do that.”

She points at her forehead. “No, you didn’t.”

He sighs. “You’re right. I didn’t.”

Her breath catches.

“Then why did you do it?”

He hesitates. “I don’t know. It’s just a habit to hate firebenders.”

“What do you want?”

“I’m not sure.” He replies. “I guess to see if you want a place to stay. The war is over and I’m trying to leave the past in the past.”

A place to stay… “where is this place?”

“I have a small house.”

Azula fends off a ray of hope. Hope is a dangerous thing for her, she spares a glance at the copper pieces glinting in the palm of her hand. But a house, a real shelter… “I’ll come with you.”

.oOo.

For the first time in ages she is relatively clean. She can finally see the true color of her skin without a cover of dirt. It is a shade or two darker than she is used to having been out in the sun longer than usual. She is no longer mortified by the scent of her body. She isn’t shrouded in lavish perfumes, but an odor of filth also doesn’t cling to her. It is refreshing, she almost feels human again. She rubs her arms, for once her fingers don’t come back caked with dirt. Her fingernails, though cracked and unpampered, no longer have dirt beneath them.

Her hair is a lost cause though, it is matted and muddy beyond repair. She nearly drives herself to tears yanking at it and fussing with it. And even if she could work all of the knots and tangles from it, it is infested with lice. Her stomach sinks. It used to be so silky and lush. She is dirty and disgusting and she decides that she can’t stand the sight of herself.

The boy, Jet, finds her in the bathroom fighting her hair and nearly weeping in frustration. “Do you want me to give it a try?”

She doesn’t want him to know that she is filthy enough for lice. So she shakes her head. He watches her struggle before speaking out loud what she has silently acknowledged, “We’re probably going to have to cut it.”

Her stomach pluments further. “But...I…” She grips the comb tighter and squeezes her eyes shut. There is no sense in being a child about it. “Go ahead.” The sooner she has it hacked off, the sooner it will grow back.

Azula wonders if he gets a thrill out of cutting her hair, knowing exactly how much it means to a firebender, how much it means to her personally. He must get a kick out of stripping her of the last of her dignity. She watches locks drift down towards her feet. Clump after clump until there is nothing left to cut. He gives her the privacy to wash her head again. The privacy to mourn the loss of her hair.

She must have taken too long because there is a knock on the door. “Give me a moment.” She musters. She dresses herself; for a moment she forgets about the loss of her hair. Though it is a size or two too big, she savors the cleanliness of the garments. It is free of stains and tears. It is comfortable.

She opens the door. And almost meekly steps out. She makes a point of avoiding the mirror. She doesn’t want to see what she looks like with no hair and protruding ribs. She has grown so skinny, she looks as hollow as she feels on the inside.

“You’re probably still hungry.” He states.

At the mention of food her stomach cramps, reflexively she holds her hand to it. “I am.” She confirms.

He motions to the table. “Help yourself.”

Azula wishes she could say that she had the decency and self control to hesitate. But she is at the table before she realizes that she had moved at all. Having seen no food at all for quite some time, the three dishes laid out on the table look like a feast. It has been so long. She takes the bowl of noodles first. Months ago she might have called them bland and criticized their lack of seasoning. But Agni, are they tasty now. “This is wonderful.” She comments between mouthfuls. She is practically inhaling noodles and the bowl is empty before she realizes it. She sets that empty bowl aside and takes a plate of...she isn’t sure what kind of meat it is but it doesn’t matter. It looks succulent and it smells divine. When she puts it on her tongue is is fantastically sizzling and cooked very well. Halfway through her meal she realizes that she has completely forgotten her manners. She only recalls them when Jet remarks, “slow down, you’ll make yourself sick.” She goes rigid and her face flushes.

“You’re going to have to get used to eating or…”

He doesn’t need to tell her, she is already feeling queasy. She thinks that the nausea shows on her face as she wraps her arms around her middle. She doesn’t expect him to spare her any sympathy, but he puts a rather tender hand on her back and says, “maybe we should start with softer foods.”

At least she won’t have to hold her hair back as her meal comes back up.

.oOo.

He has been living with her for several months now, for a firebender she is very slow to warm up to a person. Getting her body used to food again had been a nightmarish endeavor. If he gave her too much too soon or the wrong type of meal he’d find himself caring for a sick and nauseous exiled princess. If he didn’t give her enough food, she’d get cranky and unbearable to be around.

He often found himself cursing the hot temperament of firebenders. And just as often he’d find himself wondering if he’d be able to better himself with her making it so difficult to see firebenders more positively.

But eventually she’d given him just enough of an opening. He’d gone out to buy more food and come back soon enough to find her curled up in his bed crying quietly to herself. He recalls having thought that it was funny to see someone who’d been so high and mighty now so low. He recalls how fast that thought had fled when she’d sat up and looked at her with hurt and hopelessness in her eyes.

Despite all of his instincts and habits, he’d sat down next to her and let her lean on him. She was surprisingly not unpleasant to be close to. He had absently rubbed circles on her back as she’d fought to compose herself.

She had begun treating him differently after that.

Presently, Azula sits atop the window sill, one leg stretched out and the other pulled up to her chest with her arm resting upon it as she lets the sun warm her skin. It is healthier now, significantly cleaner. Her figure has a more healthy fullness now, but it is still too slight for his liking, for him to rest assured that she is in good health.

Though her hair, what has grown back of it, has regained some of it’s glossiness. That it is growing so fast, is a reassuring sign. It still only reaches above her ears, something that she constantly complains of. He thinks that it looks kind of cute though, especially when she lets him ruffle it up.

She turns away from the windowpane, swinging her legs over the sill, as he draws nearer to her. It is hard to tell what she is thinking as she kicks her feet at the air. So he inquires.

“Home.” She mumbles so quietly that he almost doesn’t catch it. This is the first time that she has tried to open up to him. “I’d like to go back there.”

He stops himself from chuckling. Only she could make an, “I wanna go home,” sound so poised and elegant.

“Honestly, the Fire Nation isn’t that great.” He leans back against the wall. “Just a bunch of hot-headed people doing hot-headed things and wearing these ridiculously large headpieces…”

“Have you seen the nobility here?” Azula scoffs. “I think that I’d break my neck wearing one of their hair ornaments.”

This time he does laugh. “The food is too spicy there.”

Again her face bunches up. “This food is so bland that my tongue can’t tell jerky apart from cabbage stew.”

He tries not to laugh at the jab at his own culture. But her humor is so dry and blunt that he has to appreciate it. It’s not unlike his own. “You can’t even eat spices right now.” He lightly jabs her tummy. It is a risky move but it only elicits a cross look of both annoyance and acceptance.

She folds her arms across her chest and clears her throat, “so you are admitting that Earth Kingdom cuisine is so weak that and bland that…”

He nudges her. “Earth Kingdom food is not weak. Firebenders are just masochists. You guys like to act all tough…” he puffs out his chest and deepens his voice. “Look how many peppers I put into my ice cream. My face is red and I’m crying. I am superior.”

“What kind of deviant puts peppers in their ice cream?” She asks.

“Firebenders.” He declares. “You guys put pepper in everything.”

She shrugs, “most things.”

It is strange to joke and jest with her. Everyone who he’d talked to had made it sound like she was some sort of demon sent to terrorize the masses. Like she was this twisted and wholly evil beast. Yet he finds that, most often, she is polite and eloquent. Frank and rather abrasive, but not particularly unpleasant.

Granted he hasn’t seen her speak to anyone else. She mostly keeps to herself and makes conversation with him. He wonders if he should try to open her up to more conversation. But she has only just begun to start talking to him like this.

.oOo.

In another month she bears no signs of having been starved. She can eat normally, without having to fret over portion size and levels of spice. Her energy is bold and vibrant in the way that a firebender’s ought to be.

He thinks that he is fully comfortable with her now. He has begun to pick up on her habits, waking up and sitting on that window sill for a while, picking the ends off of her bread, and checking her bed for bugs before laying in it.

He is almost certain that she is aware of his habits too; in the most dramatic way she uses a stick to move the socks he leaves laying around. Every so often he’ll find a blade of straw on his dress which he promptly plucks into his mouth.

A part of him still fights to cling onto his hatred of the Fire Nation and its people, but the more time he spends with her, the harder this becomes. It is one thing to simply talk to and coexist with a firebender and another matter entirely to live with one. She has been their for a while now and his house still remains upright and unscorched. The only fires within it are ones that dance upon candle wicks. He has never been fond of candles--fire in general makes him squeamish. But they are a comfort to the former princess, they remind her of home.

He compromises with her and lets her keep them around, so long as she doesn’t light them while he is around to stress over them.

.oOo.

Azula watches the candle burn down to its last bit of wax before extinguishing it. The smoke drifting up towards the ceiling makes her ache for home. And the chill wafting through the open windows, more so.

Despite it, she feels much better. She has at least some dignity and security now. She isn’t lonely. She hadn’t expected to find friendship with an Earth Kingdom man, but he had saved her life, even if she loathes to admit it.

She slips herself into the bathtub, its wood isn’t exactly friendly on her back as she leans into it and the water is lukewarm at best but the soaps and shampoos are sublime. Having gone without them for so long, she still isn’t through savoring that she still has them.

She scrubs herself clean again and dries herself. She isn’t sure how Jet makes his money, but the man has surprised her with new clothing in her size. Almost her size anyhow, it isn’t exactly fitted as all of her old clothing was, but it serves its purpose. She must admit that the garments are quite cozy for peasant wears. At the very least they are warm.

Azula wanders out of the bathroom with her dirty clothes in hand. The table is already set and he actually has a candle burning in the center. Just one very small tea light but a candle no less. She recalls that she had mentioned her birthday approaching. She hadn’t mentioned the day, so she chalks it up to a very lucky guess.

She sits down. “Why are you doing all of this? You hate firebenders.”

“I used to.” Jet replies. “Trust me, I’m trying. I was kind of hoping that if I took you in you’d keep providing me with reasons…”

“You’re hilarious.” She keeps her expression deadpan.

“Unfortunately for me you’ve kind of been doing the opposite.”

She quirks a brow. “I didn’t realize that you were a fan of being belittled and…”

He takes her hands, suddenly the conversation veers into seriousness. “You don’t do that unless we’re joking...right?”

She nods, “that’s correct.”

“I guess that this whole time I’ve just only seen firebenders as one image. As a memory of my burning village and parents. I never really saw people.” He pauses. “Until now I haven't gotten to see hurt and happiness. I didn’t really see humanity.”

“I think that you might be looking in the wrong place if you’re trying to see humanity…”

“I think that you like to repress your humanity. But you don’t have to, I’ve already seen it.” He runs his fingers over the small pockmarks left by thrown stones. She looks away from them.

“It’s different here in the Earth Kingdom. You can express yourself. You can dance, you can sing, you can even get away with talking back to your parents sometimes.”

At this she recoils, “I could never…”

He flinches, seeming to remember who he is talking to. “My point is that you don’t always have to be so well mannered here. You can have fun.”

She looks at his collection of scattered socks.

“Look, you see things in me that aren’t there.”

“I see things in you that can be if you let them in.”

She bites the inside of her lip.

“Are you telling me that your perspective hasn’t changed at all?”

“Depends, which topic are we discussing?”

“Your views on the Earth Kingdom, on its people. On the lower class.”

Azula winces, her stomach beginning to flutter. She isn’t sure exactly what she is ashamed of. “Perhaps a little.” She has trouble seeing herself as a member of the peasant class, has trouble resigning herself to that she has lost her title. But she also has trouble clinging to the view that all of them are horrible. Jet isn’t completely unbearable.

“Why don’t we have this conversation later?’ He offers. “I think that you have a birthday to enjoy.”

“I haven’t done that in years.”

“Well, maybe this one will be a good one.” He says.

.oOo.

Getting her to socialize is the hardest task still. Somehow it is more tedious than it had been to make her safe meals. The former princess is terribly reluctant to speak with anyone. He can’t particularly hold it against her knowing how much resentment the people here seem to have for her. With any luck they might not recognize her now that she is clean and short-haired. He doesn’t count on it, she is the only firebender he has seen in this town, the public will be able to put two and two together.

Though he has a few people who will accept her or at least give her a chance. As promised he wakes her up early when the rest of the village has yet to arise. They have a quick breakfast and then they head out. Other than his yard, Azula hasn’t really been out much, occasionally she stops to gander at the landscape or point out some animal that isn’t common to the Fire Nation. He can’t get her to admit it but he knows, no matter how many times she calls them annoying, that she enjoys the singing prairie dogs.

“Smellerbee has a pet prairie dog!” He notes.

“My condolences.”

He nudges her.

They meet in the forest like old times. He watches The Duke chuck a rock into the pond. Azula goes somewhat tense.

“Hey everyone, I told you that I had someone for you to meet.”

The Duke throws a final rock before turning around.

Jet doesn’t realize that he is holding Azula’s hand until Smellerbee remarks, “is she your girlfriend.”

He puts her hand down and sputters, “no!”

“Right, because you don’t date firebenders.” Pipsqueak pipes up.

“That’s not it.” He says quickly. “I told you that I’m trying to be more open minded. That’s why Azula is here.”

“The princess?” Smellerbee asks.

“She’s not so imposing after you get to know her.” He pauses for her to fill in. When she doesn’t he adds, “she isn’t very good with small talk.”

“Don’t worry,” she mutters. “Jet already told me that war stories aren’t the best kind to open with. But I don’t really have any others to tell.”

“What about that one about you and your brother on Ember Island, the one where you got chased by a wild hog-monkey.” He suggests. “Or you can tell them about your hobbies.”

“They don’t want to hear about firebending.”

“I wouldn’t mind that.” Pipsqueak says.

Long Shot nods in agreement.

He gives her space, perhaps much more than she needs, to run through her katas. He is still getting used to controlled fires and fires used for the sake of entertainment and sport. He must admit that she is elegant and after some time he usually finds that watching her is relaxing.

She finishes with a small burst of lightning, presumably the kind that won’t draw unwanted attention.

“It’s almost like a dance!’ The Duke pipes up.

Azula nods. “I’ve been working on something like that. Dancing was outlawed in my homeland some time back. I’ve decided to try it now that I...have the freedom to do so.”

“I like dancing.” Smellerbee notes.

Jet begins to relax.This is going much smoother than he had expected. He thinks that he owes it to them just being thankful that he is letting go of some of his prejudices.

.oOo.

By the time word gets around that her exile has been lifted, Azula isn’t quite sure that she is ready to go home. She is rather enjoying traveling around with Jet and his Freedom Fighters. It isn’t exactly the life she had imagined for herself, but it is free. She is free.

She still has no love for the town that had bloodied her body with their stones and marred her dignity by spitting upon her. But she has found towns that have taken more kindly and more sympathetically to her.

She also hadn’t imagined that she’d find a romantic partner, let alone one of Earth Kingdom descent. She’d always imagined that her marriage would be strictly political. Yet she lays next to Jet, holding him close. It is her turn to do the holding. After much bickering they decided to take turns with that. She much prefers to do the holding, apparently he is the same.

Smellerbee groans every time she happens upon them in a more tender moment. But there isn’t much privacy traveling in a group with only a few tents and sleeping bags. But she doesn’t have too many complaints, all things considered.

She has seen much and done much. She has found knowledge, that she hadn’t expected to acquire. She finds herself observing earthbending techniques and weaving them into her firebending stances. In turn she finds herself teaching firebending stances to earthbenders that they meet on the road.

It is the sort of knowledge that Azula has been deprived of. She didn’t realize that she had been craving it until her hunger for it has been satiated. It is only after her wanderlust subsides that she finds her way to the docks.

.oOo.

Jet is terribly nervous to venture into the Fire Nation, but he had promised the soon to be re-crowned princess that he would. Fair is fair, she’d given the Earth Kingdom a real chance, now he will give the Fire Nation one.

He wonders if she is going to bring any Earth Kingdom culture home with her. Even if she won’t say it, he thinks that she had enjoyed a good portion of her time there. He looks at the singing prairie dog squirming in her arms, she is certainly bringing something home.

He comes to stand by her. The ocean breeze rustles her hair. It still isn’t as long as it had been, but it has grown to reach her shoulders.

“You nervous to go back?”

Azula shakes her head, “I am ready. I have been ready. I miss home.”

“Well, at least you know that you’ll receive a warm welcome.”

“I am going to push you overboard.”

He wraps his hands around her middle and kisses the top of her head. “Then who will accompany you back to the palace.”

“Pipsqueak.” She remarks without missing a beat.

“Alright, fair enough.” He laughs. With it their conversation meets its natural conclusion. For quite some time they simply watch the sea roll by. It’s waters dyed orange by the sunset. Its rays throw sparkles across the water.

“I suppose I should thank you.” Azula speaks up at last.

“For what?”

“For letting me live with you and giving me a chance.” She paues. “For helping me realize what family values aren’t so valuable.”

He pulls her closer. “It isn’t such a big deal…”

“It is.” She insists. “I would have died; either of starvation of someone in that town would have gotten sick of me…” she trails off. “It isn’t easy to...reshape someone’s views.”

“You’re right about that.” Jet agrees, heaven knows that he wouldn’t have been able to do so if she didn’t stick around.

“I know.” She replies.

“You think that your brother is going to be surprised?”

She gives him a devious smirk. “He better be. I want to see the look on his face when…”

“When what?”

She turns him to face her and pulls him into a rather aggressive kiss. “If we can make Smellerbee cringe, imagine what Zuzu will do.”

“You’re a still so devious.”

“He allowed me to be exiled.” She shrugs. “Making out in front of him is the least harmful payback I can think up.”

“I guess.” He replies. He supposes that he doesn’t want to pass up an opportunity for a lengthier kiss. “We’ll add a little more steam to the Fire Nation.”

“If I don’t make good on my threat to throw you overboard.” She rolls her eyes.

As the conversation fades out again, he finds himself staring dead ahead. Somewhere on the horizon the Fire Nation looms. Somewhere on the horizon is his chance to shed past hatred completely.

#Avatar The Last Airbender #azula week 2020 #Azula Week #Azula #Jet #Avatar Jet #Jetzula

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captain-azoren · 5 years

Text

Mothers

Soren sat on a log on the beach, looking out over the surf as it washed away the sands of Ember Island. The moon reflected on the water, and the stars lit up the sky. In the distance, small lanterns were lit and hung outside the beach side cabins. Soren breathed in the salty air, letting the sounds of the crashing waves soothe him as he tried to sort out his feelings.

The sound of sand crunching underfoot alerted Soren, and he turned to see Azula approaching him. She sat down on the log next to him and and stretched her legs out. “You left all of a sudden,” Azula stated. “Don’t want to join us at the campfire?”

Soren sighed and gazed back over the water. “Sorry, all this family stuff got me thinking about my own mom...” Soren seemed lost to thought. Azula frowned and reached over to gently prod his side with her sharp, manicured nail. Soren winced, then glared with annoyance at the princess.

“Everyone else said their piece,” Azula stated. “If you don’t want to share with them, you can share with me, if it will get you to stop moping...”

Soren studied Azula as she nonchalantly examined her nails. She was acting as though she did not really care, and that might have annoyed Soren, but he had come to appreciate it whenever the princess was open to conversation.

“Our mom left our family when Claudia and I were kids,” Soren began to say. “We loved her, but she and our dad fought a lot. Then she decided to leave...” Soren tightened his fists and furrowed his brow as he stared down at the sand, his blood growing hotter. “Our mom asked us to choose between her and dad, but if she really loved us, she would have stayed and tried to make things work. We weren’t that important to her. There’s no way I would’ve betrayed dad by leaving. How could she even ask that...”

As Azula listened to Soren speak, she could not help but feel a twinge of pain in her heart, as much as she tried to erase such feelings. The princess hated showing weakness, and a part of her wanted to chide Soren for getting emotional, but his words hit too close to home. Azula’s expression softened. She looked closely as Soren stared solemnly at the ground, looking so cold and alone. The princess reached out towards the warrior, her heart racing. Azula was afraid of what she was about to do, but some part of her kept pushing her. She needed to do this. Azula placed her hand on Soren’s shoulder, and the blond boy looked to her. For once, she seemed sympathetic, and not annoyed or impatient as he might have expected.

“Our mother left us too,” Azula told him. Soren blinked at her, surprised. Until now he had thought that Azula and Zuko’s mother had died, like Queen Sarai had. He did not think the wife of a king, or a Fire Lord, could just leave.

“Why?” Soren asked. He placed his hand on Azula’s and rubbed it gently. Azula’s frown deepened, and her eyes dropped as she thought back to that fateful night.

“It’s...complicated...” Azula spoke softly. She remembered how she overheard her grandfather, Azulon, her namesake, order her father, then simply Prince Ozai, to kill Zuko as punishment for his insolence and disrespect towards her Uncle Iroh, the Dragon of the West, who gave up Ba Sing Se after his son Lu Ten died in battle. A real general would have honored his son by winning the siege and avenging him at the very least, but instead Lu Ten died in vain because Iroh was weak.

“Something...happened...Zuko got in trouble, and our mother found out,” Azula explained, her eyes narrowing. “She did something terrible, and she couldn’t stay with us anymore. All to protect Zuko...” Azula pursed her lips, trying not to let them tremble. “She didn’t even say goodbye to me. The last time I saw her, she scolded me, like I knew she would...”

“Azula...” Soren frowned sadly. The princess was always so strong and confident, but he could see she was wavering. There was a moment of silence before Azula shook herself out of her thoughts and scoffed.

“Mother never liked me anyway,” Azula declared haughtily. “And you know what? I’m glad she left. All she ever did was scold me when she wasn’t coddling Zuko, because I was just a little monster and he was her little angel.” Azula let out a bitter laugh. “She was afraid of me, afraid of my power, so she tried to hold me back, I might as well be a monster if even my own mother couldn’t love me, if I had been in danger, Mother would ha-”

The princess’s rambling was cut short as a pair of strong, muscular arms wrapped around her. Soren pulled Azula in close to his chest, tucking her head under his chin as he hugged her tightly. Azula was utterly shocked by the display of affection. How dare he presume to even touch her, much less hug her? Did he think she was weak, like Zuko? She was not some crying brat, she was Princess Azula. How dare he pity her. Even with these thought however, the spark of anger within Azula refused to light, as much as she told herself it should.

“It’s okay,” Soren whispered. His body was tense, trying his best to not breakdown, trying not to squeeze Azula too tightly. “We don’t need moms, we’re strong right?” Soren was a stupid boy, but even he could see Azula was in pain, the same kind of pain he felt when his own mother had abandoned him and Claudia. “I like you Azula. You’re not a monster, you’re cool and smart and tough and...pretty...and you’re my friend...”

Azula should have slapped Soren on principle. She should have pushed him to the ground, stepped on him, asserted herself as she always did, shown him that she did not need some boy to coddle her...but she didn’t. Azula could not dredge up any cold anger as her icy heart melted. All the princess could do was lean into Soren, closing her eyes as a few tears began to run down her cheeks.

“That’s right...” Azula whispered back, giving a hard sniffle. She would not allow herself to breakdown into a sobbing mess. Azula had to show some strength, but it felt so good. Soren was not smart enough to put on a performance, or even lie that well. If Mai or Ty Lee or Zuko had felt this kind of sympathy for her, they were too afraid to show it. Soren was too foolish to be afraid, and right now, that was what Azula needed, a trusting fool who did not know better. She didn’t want any shallow, empty praises or false loyalty born of fear, she wanted something real.

Soren pulled back and Azula looked up at him. Both their eyes were wet, and Soren blushed in embarrassment. He had wanted to be strong too, but it seemed neither of them could keep their pain secret. Soren wiped his eyes and coughed, trying to get his own emotions under control.

“I’m not crying,” Soren said. “It’s just all this salty air. Katolis isn’t this salty...” Azula nodded, leaning away from Soren as she fixed her hair back in place, having been mussed by hiss embrace earlier. She was thankful Soren was not not too sentimental.

“Neither am I,” Azula replied. “I’d never cry over Mother, but thanks anyway...” The two of them listened to the waves a moment longer. Soren then realized that Azula had not pulled her hand out of his. She was squeezing it gently. He squeezed back, and the princess showed no reaction save for a blush, almost indistinguishable in the moonlight.

“I guess we should get back,” Soren said. “Claudia’s gonna worry.” Azula nodded, and the two of them stood up from the log, hands still clasped as they walked back to the fire where the rest of their friends were still waiting.

“I know what will cheer us up,” Azula said with a mischievous smirk as she began to run, dragging Soren along with her. “We’ll show Chan exactly what we think of his disgusting party...”

#Azula #Soren #tdp soren #avatar the last airbender #avatar #atla #the dragon prince #tdp #fanfic #happy mother's day!#oneshot #crossover

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tumblunni · 5 years

Text

Ehh i think i finally summed up why all of this steven universe diamonds stuff has been so underwhelming.

YES you can redeem a villain

but you have to

actually

TRY

Yes you can write a story about the world’s most fuckin horrible person being really actually sad at heart

Yes you can write a story about an abusive parent actually being able to change

Yes you can write a story about some wild genocidal alien civilization of asshole space rocks actually only doing it because something something societal pressure DESPITE BEING THE ONES IN CHARGE WHO SET THE DAMN RULES I GUESS

But fucking hell its not gonna be EASY and you shouldn’t treat it that way.

All of this shit was SO fucking quick?? And everything else WASNT!

You spent SO long hyping up these guys you spent SO long convincing us that they WERE evil and that they had entirey different motives for what they were doing and EVEN WITHIN THIS FUCKING EPISODE you spent more time showing us White Diamond being absolutely ridiculously existentially horrifyingly awful and refusing every offer everyone gave her to help and refusing every chance and fucking fucking goddamn violating people’s entire minds and just.. fuck.

After all that you cant just fuckin have steven walk up to blue and yellow and say “hey everything you did was bad” and them go “GEE WE NEVER KNEW!” for some reason this time they’re convinced in a single sentence despite it being the same sentence steven said before in every damn episode and pink said to them years before and every person they abused and enslaved and mutilated and KILLED said while they were DYING

And you can’t fucking have white diamond never redeem herself and never change and never admit she’s wrong and steven SOLVE IT WITH FUCKING FIGHTING WHILE SAYING HE DOESNT WANT TO, WHILE THE ENTIRE SHOW TRIES TO CLAIM THE REASON THEY ARE DOING IT THIS WAY IS BECAUSE OF PACIFISM

because seriously he?? just defeated her?? and this made her?? change???

redeeming a villain shouldn’t be easy. redeeming a villain has to have the villain TRY. white diamond has done nothing to prove she really has a heart, prove that she really did all this for sympathetic reasons, prove that she’s able to change, AND ESPECIALLY NOTHING TO MAKE IT UP TO ANY OF THE PEOPLE SHE’S HURT

she just got defeated and basically admitted she’s wrong cos she has no other choice. and i guess her blushing because steven issued a SICK BURN to her is meant to be enough proof that her entire motivation so far has been because of self confidence issues forcing her to put up a false front aka her entire personality we saw so far. If you wanna tell me she’s entirely different to what we saw so far then please could you please give it more screentime than twelve goddamn seconds.

This is like how yellow and blue just suddenly were accepted as part of the family and steven agreed to go with them to homeworld literally just because they realized he “is really pink diamond”. Like they never fucking repented or actually learned to empathise with humans or ever explained why they dont empathise with humans no nope the only answer we got is that they were sad about their sister/daughter/friend dying even though they were already doing all the same evil stuff before that and its what caused her to leave in the first place. no we’re gonna just completely trust them instantly and not even continue making an effort to convince them? we’re gonna trust them so much we’re gonna trust that white diamond will also change just cos we beat her up? COS SERIOUSLY STEVEN FUCKIN DEFEATED BLUE AND YELLOW IN A FIGHT AND THATS THE END OF THEIR ARC, HOW IS THIS PROVING THE POWER OF PACIFISM!! beating everyone up and then saying the same singular sentence again and somehow now it works!! or saying “my mum was pink diamond” and it doesnt convince them but hey if we say it again with magical proof its true then i guess it works now. wow that sure does argue the power of words i guess

everything EVERYTHING they did was just a fuckin misunderstanding cos they dont UNDERSTAND they were doing bad and thus they dont have to face any form of consequences beyond being mildly embarassed i suppose.

if you wanna make that the ending then you need to work to disprove all the hours you spent implying that.. yknow.. they were doing things because they were evil

and even if theyre sympathetic they still did evil things and they still need to work to prove that theyve changed

and ESPECIALLY if you’re making a show very heavy on subjects like LGBT discrimination it shouldnt be FUCKIN WOW UNEXPECTED that the audience would see this plot as a metaphor for stuff like homophobia and abusive parents and.. yknow.. societal oppression in a law system that forces you to live in the closet in constant fear of being discovered and killed. and all the other apparantly accidental undertones of racism and extermination of indigenous people in stolen land which YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED PEOPLE TO SEE WHEN THE PLOT IS LITERALLY EXTERMINATING PEOPLE TO STEAL THEIR LAND

all of that means you need to do MORE work to prove that that isnt actually what the plot is supposed to be, and more work to redeem villains who are very heavily goddamn triggering to a large part of the vunerable audience YOU SPECIFICALLY MARKETED YOURSELF TOWARDS

this was just so fucking overwhelming and somehow rushed despite being an hour long episode, and i hate it because the show spent so much effort on so much other stuff yet decided to half ass it at the really important part that NEEDED to have thought and time put into it if it was gonna nail the landing

especially after ALL THAT FUCKIN TIME AND EFFORT INTO THINGS THAT ONLY AMPED UP THE VILLAINY AND TENSION OF THESE GUYS AND MADE IT SO MUCH WORSE

like fucking hell how can you be so tone deaf??? this has been in the planning for so damn long and theyve been working on it forever and THIS is what they chose to rush over? this is the priorities they thought were important? even just within this episode if youre struggling to fit it all in then like seriously cut out some of the stuff like the montage of unseen fusion forms that did basiclaly nothing but a few jokes, and the equally as rushed bad lars and sadie romance resolution. Which is another thing that needed a lot of work to fix when the introduction we got to these two was a really unhealthy relationship and a dude who refuses to change despite being given twelve chances but suddenly changes COMPLETELY on the thirteenth one and i guess cos he died that proves he’s all good now. Except he acts all weird and creepy in the very next episode and endangers his new friends by acting all possessive over sadie again and getting angry that she has other friends????

i hate it because ive had to deal with the fandom telling all the people who were rightfully uncomfortable with how these subjects were handled that oh we’re just overreacting and oh wait and see cos they totally have a big plan for the ending or something that’ll make it all make sense. And comparing people being triggered by child abuse and racism to “huhu those dumb su criticals who hate the art style” or whatever...

god, man, its just a deflection of what the issue really is

“oh youre saying NO VILLAINS can EVER be redeemed and NOBODY can EVER talk about dark stuff in shows without being SECRETLY BAD AND SUPPORTING IT IN REAL LIFE?”

no im not saying that im just saying the subjects are fucking depressing to people who’ve suffered from the real life stuff and the villain redemption should be GOOD and should THINK ABOUT THOSE PEOPLE IN THE AUDIENCE if it wants to make up for it

like fucking hell look at how much zuko from avatar went through before his redemption. look at how long he struggled with his morality and how long it took him to realise he was wrong. look at how much detail they showed us on all the people who negatively influenced him into making the bad choices he did. look at how much he went through to make up for what he did and apologise to everyone he hurt. look at how everyone he hurt didnt believe him at first and it took a while for everything to work out. look at how sometimes he messed up and took steps backward before getting to where he needed to be. and look at how he actually changed as a person and continued learning and growing and trying to be a good person even far into the future after the story ended.

hell, fuckin look at PERIDOT! peridot had a full goddamn zuko arc! peridot had more screentime than all of the diamonds combined, and it was way better utilized! she had a full process from being introduced as a scary villain BECAUSE OF MISUNDERSTANDING WHO SHE REALLY WAS, then being revealed as having a fully rounded personality, flaws and redeemable traits while still being a villain. and moments of her proving that she did indeed only become a villain because she didnt understand what she was doing was wrong, and a personality that matched with that reveal rather than having NO INDICATION she was like that until it suddenly happened only after she was defeated. and her redemption came slowly through friendship with steven and it had moments of the other characters not instantly trusting her and also of her making mistakes and struggling with believing steven’s philosophy when it went against everything she knew about life. and speaking of which it was established that she had a very different life which had negative influences pushing these ideas upon her, and tough stuff that made her scared and pressured. Not just being in a high position of ruling over a planet in the lap of luxury and ONLY AFTER BEING DEFEATED do we learn that they feel pressured by the societal expectation to be perfect and they actually would have agreed all along with dismantling the system but they were just too afraid to be honest. Or whatever the fuck that rushed ending was trying to go for! And man even after peridot joins the team she’s NOT redeemed yet, she’s initially only halfway doubting herself and only teaming up with steven because they’re both afraid of the cluster. And she messes up and says horrible shit to her new friends and feels the consequences of her actions and chooses to change. And her ultimate choice to switch sides is REALLY hard, she gets so close to going back to the diamonds and its a great personal sacrifice on her part when she chooses to give it all up and make an enemy of the person she was so scared of!

and GAHHH that good redemption is one in a million episodes that really set up the diamonds Being Bad and should have been a goddamn tally in the “effort required in the fuckin ending” chart!

could we not have even just had one ten minute episode of blue and yellow going around earth and experiencing human life and realizing there’s things worth protecting? or a few damn scenes foreshadowing white being actually insecure and lying to protect herself, rather than GENUINELY ABUSIVE BECAUSE SHE’S BAD?

and seriously even if you hurt people because you hate yourself YOU STILL HURT THEM

a sympathetic backstory should be a reason why they COULD be redeemed, not proof that they already are redeemed just because the backstory was stated in words and nothing else has fuckin changed.

imagine if zuko just lost one fight to aang and said “yes but my dad abused me” and aang was like “oh no now lets team up with zuko to beat up his dad” and none of the bad things zuko did were ever mentioned again and also he keeps his season 1 personality throughout the entire series

imagine if peridot fuckin.. just changed sides cos she’s funny and we like her. people wantedher to change sides as soon as she acted funny and likeable but they still made the effort to actually prove she had changed! the diamonds didnt act remotely harmless or remotely good until they just suddenly are in the very last episode.

hoo

fucking

ray

also why are we constantly just ignoring all these dark things about homeworld? like the episode with holly blue agate and the famethyst slave caste and all the creepy ways the entire place operated. i totally thought thatd.. yknow.. EVER BE REFERENCED AGAIN?? its never even mentioned that anyone even WANTS to go back and save them?? and the human zoo were outright stated to be like.. unsaveable. “oh theyve never known real human life and theyre happy in their slavery so itd be cruel to take them away from it” One off episode, forgotten about. And the creepy as fuck scenes of gems being BUILT INTO THE WALLS AND DOORS AS SECURITY SYSTEMS and the confirmation that more lapis situations are constantly going on yet somehow that singing hairbrush person doesnt get all the sympathy that she did. And steven going daww at the pebbles instead of being horrified that theyre born to work as servants and forced to live in the walls because the noblewomen dont want to look at them? and he asks them to make him a new outfit?? and theres no plot anything involving them except them puttering around in the background outfitting?? like was none of this meant to be seen as PROOF THAT THE DIAMONDS WERE EVIL and PEOPLE WHO NEEDED TO BE SAVED????

goddddd

please say they were rushed or something please say this is all the faultof being given less time than they expected please say there were other plans for other episodes we didnt see that would have given at least slightly more substance to any of this

also why wasnt this even advertised as the last episode if its the last fuckin episode

hhhh well at least obsidian was a great character design and so were the other fusions and new outfits even if they only appeared for twelve seconds. and white’s whole scary evil mind invasion stuff was really good even if it actually hurt the episode by being good, kinda

man im not even mad or anything i just feel mehh and bored and like im actually glad its over. i never wanted to feel that way about a show that used to be so good. i kinda wish the earliest episodes werent so good if the answers to all those well set up mysteries were gonna have so much less effort than the setup itself

...man i should make a whole post about all the mistaken ways i THOUGHT the show was gonna go that actually would have been way more interesting than the real answer.

i’m just super glad that my last theory was wrong cos wow that would have been the only thing worse than this ending! when white pearl first appeared before we’d actually seen white diamond, and it had all this thing that white diamond hadnt been seen in ages.. well i was worried it was setting up some sort of reverse twist where actually white pearl is bodysnatching white diamond instead of vice versa. So the whole evil empire would actually be run by a member of the slave class that its oppressing, and the diamonds/representative of the upper class would actually be poor victims all along. dear god i am so glad i got that wrong! tho im weirded out by how evil white/pink pearl looked in that first hint that she was originally pink pearl??

anyway basicallly im just so fuckin tired

#su spoilers #su critical #more like su dissappointed from someone who started off so damn su positive #su bored su rushed su i just wanted you to care as much about making this redemption good as you cared about other things #it really felt like in general the crewniverse just lost interest in the story around the third hiatus or so #whyyyy did they take so long to reveal anything if all the reveals were gonna be so fast and so bad #you gotta learn that if you hype up a thing you actually have to deliver #like fuckin hell it took a whole season to even introduce a single other gem at all #and so long to introduce homeworld and so long to introduce the diamonds and then whoops blink and its over i guess #also why was jasper hyped up so much and then shitcanned for practically a decade #and her only narrative purpose in the end was just a brief hint at the pink diamond arc

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seosamhmooney · 7 years

Text

My Top 10 Favorite Musical Movies

I love top 10 lists for no legitimate reason, and I really don’t understand why they’re a thing other than the fact that they’re somewhat pleasing in some inexplicable way. So here’s one of my “Top 10s” lists. Enjoy

10. Into the Woods

Honestly, this one just makes this list because I enjoy shitting on it. Although it was decently cast, I’m still not sure what Johnny Depp was doing as the wolf (or even why the wolf was present? Does he actually serve a purpose to the ultimate story? Didn’t think so). Anna Kendrick is always charming, and frankly, her “On the Steps of the Palace” song was just fabulous. And sure, intertwining fairytales sounds like a cool or innovative idea, but seriously, it’s been done so many times (re: abc’s Once Upon a Time, Cornelia Funke’s Reckless books, etcetera)--and perhaps Sondheim did do it before it became a “thing”--but the movie comes across as tacky, boring, and generally pointless. Next.

9. Sweeney Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Also known as, What Happens When Tim Burton Directs a Musical. It’s almost so gaudy it works, but not quite. Helena Bonham Carter does some good work in this one, but certainly not her best. It’s almost a shame to see someone who has done such beautiful movies as A Room with a View and The Wings of the Dove fall into this constant cycle of playing these borderline goofy characters (see Alice in Wonderland, Cinderella, Dark Shadows, etc.--none of which I did not enjoy, by the way; I absolutely loved all three of these mentioned films, but HBC plays such one-dimensional characters it’s f r u s t r a t i n g. Johnny Depp was actually nominated for a Golden Globe for this movie, which I don’t think was necessarily called for, but did he win? Nope. Wasn’t going to. When the kid and the mostly mute prison girl are the best parts of the cast, something isn’t working right. Plus, the movie was just so gray. I get it, London is no pretty city, but--oh, wait, yes it is. London’s beautiful, shut the fuck up.

8. La La Land

Oh, La La Land. So right, but so, so damn wrong! I adore this movie, although it took me three times to watch the full movie to get to this point of appreciation. When I first left the cinema, I was livid. I had gone with my aunt and uncle for my birthday, and we all left just frustrated. Damien Chazelle had given us such a visually stunning and cinematically innovative film, but he also gave us a shit excuse for a love story. Honestly, Mr. Chazelle, please don’t write another script. Leave that to actual writers. You stick with cinematic brilliance, hun. Thanks, x. Justin Horwitz, however, ABSOLUTELY KILLED IT. The music is astounding. Simply astounding. I had the privilege of seeing La La Land at the Hollywood Bowl with a live orchestra, and damn, it was good. It was so good. Ryan Gosling is nothing special (unfortunately!), and as much of a bitch as Emma Stone’s Mia is, she absolutely deserved that Oscar. Now about the singing: frankly, I didn’t mind it. I have friends who hated it (because they’re trained singers so they have a bit of a superiority complex about these kinds of things), but as someone who cannot particularly sing well myself, I enjoyed seeing two more realistic characters thrown into a musical world and pull it off more than adequately well.

7. The Phantom of the Opera

I want to rank this higher. I really, really, really do. But for obvious reason, I cannot. The singing is mediocre, and the acting is even worse. I don’t know who cast Gerard Butler, but yikes. A lot of the editing is rather shoddy, and as much as I do love Minnie Driver as Carlotta, they should have chosen an actual opera singer instead of choosing a decently known Hollywood name. Also, the deformity is literal horse shit. Just horse shit. But now the good things: 1. Patrick Wilson; yes! I absolutely love his Raoul. He’s tragic and a little girly and a bit of a pussy but so in love that he steps up when he needs to. And his voice is arguably the best in comparison with his coworkers’. 2. The cinematography and set design are stunning, absolutely stunning. I get the chills every time the chandelier is raised during the “Overture”, and although the Phantom’s lair isn’t exactly a house on a lake, I thought it was very reminiscent of the stage production, which I appreciated greatly. 3. The costumes! Jesus! Although Christine’s “Think of Me” dress does not go with the time period of the opera she’s supposed to be performing and the Phantom’s last few costumes are waaaaay too hot, I thought the costume department did a fabulous job creating dazzling costumes that just worked with the whole “pretty” feel of the film. 4. They nail the story. I remember watching Phantom as a child and sobbing every time I finished it. The Phantom doesn’t deserve Christine, but he deserves to know what love is just like any other man, and in telling this, the story succeeds.

6. Grease

I’m not one for teen movies, I’m just not. Clueless is nice, and Heathers has a special place in my heart, but I’ve never been into the whole high school drama film thing. Still, I must admit that I loved Grease. I refused to watch it for the longest time because I had a friend who literally based his entire look on Danny Zuko, and it was so obnoxious I refused to watch the film. Plus John Travolta has always sort of creeped me out. But I gave in, and I was so surprised. Olivia Newton-John is just darling as Sandra Dee, John Travolta isn’t unbearable as Danny Zuko, and Frenchy is such a charming character, but the one person I think gets so overlooked but could be such a show-stealer is Rizzo. Stockard Channing set the bar high for this character, as she does a fantastic job conveying the too-cool-for-school but has-a-heart-of-gold-kinda Rizzo. My favorite player on the Chicago Cubs is Anthony Rizzo because of this movie (Can you tell I’m not a huge sports fan?).

5. Chicago

Many people call this the best musical movie ever made, and really, it’s very, very well done. I mean, it is. A movie doesn’t get six Academy Awards just because. The dancing is actual fire, Richard Gere is one dazzling bastard, and Catherine Zeta-Jones absolutely steals the show as Velma Kelly. Sorry, Renée Zellweger. Zellweger's Roxie is charming, sure, but she comes off as so weak a character and a person that it’s difficult to even enjoy most of her scenes. The set designs are nothing spectacular, but what makes everything come together is the musical numbers (somewhat ironic, because almost every musical number physically departs from the story’s setting). “All That Jazz” is a killer opening, Queen Latifah’s “When You’re Good to Mama” is too much fun, “Cell Block Tango” practically changed the game for musical movie choreography, and where do I even begin with “Roxie”? Spoiler: it was Zellweger’s most convincing scene, but that’s almost completely due to the choreography and set design. Chicago will certainly be studied in film schools in years to come. As much as there is on the surface of the film, there is so much more than meets the eye, and for all these reasons, Chicago is a fabulous, fabulous film.

4. Les Misérables

I actually considered ranking this between Phantom and Chicago but ultimately decided to move it up. Victor Hugo’s novel is a challenge for a number of reasons, but chief among them being the massive span of time his novel covers. So a musical version obviously has to fit this all within three hours, and say what you will, I do believe Les Mis does a good job. The story is obviously cut down tremendously, but it really does not lose much (if any) of the message it has to offer. Now, the film is not perfect. For instance, I absolutely hated Hugh Jackman and Russell Crowe. I really did. A lot of people hated Amanda Seyfried, but I really loved her portrayal of Cosette (but maybe just the acting part, her singing is a bit shaky). Samantha Barks and Eddie Redmayne are class-acts, and HBC does a fine job as Mme. Thenardier. I almost have nothing to say about Anne Hathaway. Her performance speaks for itself. I sob every time Fantine dies. She is so, so, so, so good. And three cheers for Colm Wilkinson. He’s just a great guy and a great performer. The film’s direction is often debated, whether it is good or bad, but I really thought it was quite good and quite different from what others might have done. Tom Hooper took advantage of the screen in ways the stage cannot be taken advantage of, offering the audience a chance to look closely at the faces of the actors, to really appreciate the emotional tolls the characters endure.

3. Cabaret

Liza Minelli embodies Sally Bowles. I mean, never have I ever believed so strongly that an actor was born for a role, but Minelli was born for Sally, and as the soul of the show, she breathes life into the film and somehow manages to carry the story on her shoulders. Joel Grey is a fantastic Emcee, and the supporting characters are great as well. Although I don’t care for several of the subplots, I thought the primary storytelling was borderline flawless (except for the ghastly ending; Lord help me, I have so many qualms with the ending; the level of vague is off the charts and unnecessarily so). But the singing is splendid and the dancing is spectacular. The way the Kit Kat Club fits into the story almost as a character itself is subtle and brilliant, and just about every single set is exactly how I imagine it should be. Again, Liza Minelli was born for this, and she rightly won the Oscar for Best Actress. Go you, Liza. Lots of love, x.

2. Moulin Rouge!

Usually, I would consider Moulin Rouge! my favorite movie of all time, but I’ll explain in the next entry why this is not the case for this list. Like I said, this is my favorite film of all time, and for a plethora of reasons. 1. It is unique and innovative; Moulin Rouge! made the 21st-century musical possible, and everything from Chicago to La La Land owes much to Baz Luhrmann. 2. Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman’s chemistry is everything. They work well together, they sound good together, and they carry Luhrmann’s admittingly wild storytelling techniques with grace and fun. 3. The sets and general production design. This entire movie was filmed in a single room (granted, a very, very large room), but Luhrmann creates a world so vivid and so alive that it hardly feels claustrophobic. 4. The music is different but familiar and well-orchestrated. Luhrmann did something most people wouldn’t even think twice about doing because it’s “tacky” or “unoriginal”, but he instead takes familiar and beloved songs, sets them all to a beautiful story about love and loss, and creates a new musical so vibrant, it changed the face of the musical genre.

1. The Sound of Music

The Sound of Music. Arguably the greatest musical of all time, The Sound of Music is a timeless story of faith, love, war, family, and hope. The only musical on this list based on the actual events of Maria Kutschera and her life as the governess and step-mother of the von Trapp children, The Sound of Music embodies everything a musical (and a good story!) should be. Life is no fairytale--it is full of hard times and beautiful times and times when it seems the whole world will collapse upon itself. Life is no fairytale, and as beautiful as this film is, it relates to its audience real life morals and real life messages that should be taken to heart by anyone in search of a happy life. Julie Andrews is the only person to embody a character more than Liza Minelli embodies Sally Bowles, and her Maria is a sweet, powerful, kind woman, who, though unsure of the direction her life will go, stands for what she believes in and positively changes the lives of so many along the way. Christopher Plummer is the perfect Captain von Trapp, and the children are perfectly cast as well. Actually, fuck it, the whole cast is perfect. Governess Elsa Schräder, Max Detweiler, and the Mother Abbess are flawless secondary characters, who come and go throughout the film flawlessly. I would also like to note how it stayed in cinemas for FOUR YEARS after its release. Now that’s a bloody good film. The sets and cinematography are fabulous, the script is so well done it’s unreal, and the songs--the songs!!!--are as good as they are iconic (and damn, are they iconic).

So here is my first (second, actually) post on Tumblr. Cheers. x

#musicals #film #musical movie #top ten list #the sound of music #moulin rouge #cabaret #les miserables #chicago #grease #the phantom of the opera #la la land #sweeney todd #into the woods

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