xandrei

[xandrei]

So what I’ve learned from the past couple months of being really loud about being a bi woman on Tumblr is: A lot of young/new LGBT+ people on this site do not understand that some of the stuff they’re saying comes across to other LGBT+ people as offensive, aggressive, or threatening. And when they actually find out the history and context, a lot of them go, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I never meant to say that.”

Like, “queer is a slur”: I get the impression that people saying this are like… oh, how I might react if I heard someone refer to all gay men as “f*gs”. Like, “Oh wow, that’s a super loaded word with a bunch of negative freight behind it, are you really sure you want to put that word on people who are still very raw and would be alarmed, upset, or offended if they heard you call them it, no matter what you intended?”

So they’re really surprised when self-described queers respond with a LOT of hostility to what feels like a well-intentioned reminder that some people might not like it. 

That’s because there’s a history of “political lesbians”, like Sheila Jeffreys, who believe that no matter their sexual orientation, women should cut off all social contact with men, who are fundamentally evil, and only date the “correct” sex, which is other women. Political lesbians claim that relationships between women, especially ones that don’t contain lust, are fundamentally pure, good, and  unproblematic. They therefore regard most of the LGBT community with deep suspicion, because its members are either way too into sex, into the wrong kind of sex, into sex with men, are men themselves, or somehow challenge the very definitions of sex and gender. 

When “queer theory” arrived in the 1980s and 1990s as an organized attempt by many diverse LGBT+ people in academia to sit down and talk about the social oppressions they face, political lesbians like Jeffreys attacked it harshly, publishing articles like “The Queer Disappearance of Lesbians”, arguing that because queer theory said it was okay to be a man or stop being a man or want to have sex with a man, it was fundamentally evil and destructive. And this attitude has echoed through the years; many LGBT+ people have experience being harshly criticized by radical feminists because being anything but a cis “gold star lesbian” (another phrase that gives me war flashbacks) was considered patriarchal, oppressive, and basically evil.

And when those arguments happened, “queer” was a good umbrella to shelter under, even when people didn’t know the intricacies of academic queer theory; people who identified as “queer” were more likely to be accepting and understanding, and “queer” was often the only label or community bisexual and nonbinary people didn’t get chased out of. If someone didn’t disagree that people got to call themselves queer, but didn’t want to be called queer themselves, they could just say “I don’t like being called queer” and that was that. Being “queer” was to being LGBT as being a “feminist” was to being a woman; it was opt-in.

But this history isn’t evident when these interactions happen. We don’t sit down and say, “Okay, so forty years ago there was this woman named Sheila, and…” Instead we queers go POP! like pufferfish, instantly on the defensive, a red haze descending over our vision, and bellow, “DO NOT TELL ME WHAT WORDS I CANNOT USE,” because we cannot find a way to say, “This word is so vital and precious to me, I wouldn’t be alive in the same way if I lost it.” And then the people who just pointed out that this word has a history, JEEZ, way to overreact, go away very confused and off-put, because they were just trying to say.

But I’ve found that once this is explained, a lot of people go, “Oh wow, okay, I did NOT mean to insinuate that, I didn’t realize that I was also saying something with a lot of painful freight to it.”

And that? That gives me hope for the future.

#lgbt discourse #lgbtqia #lgbt history #this is for the queers

[xandrei]

the euphoria of elliot page (esquire)

[xandrei]

The strange thing about growing up in conservative Christianity and then leaving it behind is that there are a lot of secular/progressive spaces that engage in similar thinking while sincerely believing their ideas are counter to conservative ones. So I thought I would just make a list of things I was taught within conservative Christianity, the stuff that was either the core of our beliefs, or the social dynamics that we created. Some of the language I use is specifically either scriptural, or Christian-speak.

This list isn’t to say “stop thinking this way.” This is actually intended to simply be informative because sometimes social justice spaces assume, “we are crafting our ideals in opposition to conservative ideals therefore whatever we think surely must be the opposite of whatever they think,” without ever seeming to know that their language and ideals look and sound the same.

So, let’s begin:

Sin-leveling: x is bad, and y is bad, and all bad things deserve an equal reaction

Sin-leveling part 2: because all things are equally bad, there’s nothing wrong with inverting the consequences. Hurting others becomes acceptable (because it’s no different than doing something distasteful), doing something distasteful is unforgivable (because it’s no different than doing something harmful)

Avoid all appearance of evil: if I assume that your behavior looks wrong, then you are wrong, even if further context would say otherwise. You should avoid doing anything that others would see as wrong because you are not allowed the benefit of the doubt or to defend yourself.

Sin by association: x company contracted with y company. Y company engages in something sinful, which means x company approves of said sinful thing which means if you purchase from x company, you are condoning, supporting, and have actually committed the sin.

Think only on what is good: or as the pastor of my old church liked to call it, “garbage in, garbage out.” Whatever ideas, thoughts, words, arguments, stories, pictures, books, movies, songs, friends, love you put in your head will create the desire to become that. If you want to be good, you must avoid any bad thought because you will “slip” into wanting it and then be unable to stop yourself from being it. (For example, type into google “is secular music” and click on the autocomplete of “a sin”)

Language as an in-group test: if you do not describe your life, experiences, and beliefs with the exact same vocabulary and in-group speak, you are either not really one of us, or you’re someone who hasn’t thought through their ideas as deeply as I have.

By any means necessary: Also known in the ex-Evangelical world as “lying for Jesus.” If my words create the necessary beliefs and actions in others, then it doesn’t matter if I am exaggerating, saying half-truths, or using manipulative language, because I’m saving others and helping them do what’s right.

Touch not God’s anointed: any critiques of those our community trusts, critiques of those we’ve deemed “the good ones,” are actually people trying to sow discord and disunity to destroy our community and their voice should be silenced because they must be lying.

Judge not lest ye be judged: A scripture that we throw at people when someone says our leadership is abusive, a scripture we cry is being taken out of context when we want to harshly critique someone ourselves. 

There’s more, lots more, but this post is already fairly long. Once again, though, this isn’t intended to be combative. I just want people to know the actual social dynamics that a lot of us grew up with in conservative Christianity communities, so they know when sometimes they’re sharing those social dynamics, not countering them.

#conservative christianity #social justice

[xandrei]

"it catches every time, like he's never seen you before."

an older kanej, enjoying some time together 💕 for @bastetsbard for the winter festival exchange; happy holidays my friend 🥰

#six of crows #grishaverse #crooked kingdom #kanej #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #xan!art #shadow and bone

[xandrei]

Pirates of the Caribbean but make it Kanej 🏴‍☠️ commissioned by another amazing client 💕

#please look at this most perfect addition #Cleo doing the lords work #six of crows #kanej #shadow and bone #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #soc fanfic

[xandrei]

Inej likes to make him blush like a Victorian maiden sometimes 🥰

#six of crows #grishaverse #kanej #shadow and bone #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #crooked kingdom #leigh bardugo #xan!art

[xandrei]

Pirates of the Caribbean but make it Kanej 🏴‍☠️ commissioned by another amazing client 💕

#six of crows #grishaverse #kanej #shadow and bone #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #crooked kingdom #leigh bardugo #xan!art

[xandrei]

Holiday commission slots are OPEN!

I'll be taking a few (3-5) and then likely closing until the end of the year. So if you're looking for your very own kanej comm or a dnd OC, this is your chance 💕

Pricing info, commission form, and current queue can all be found over here on my site.

#six of crows #xan!art #tooxt #art commissions

[xandrei]

"Shall I tell you the secret of true love? [...] Many boys will bring you flowers. But someday you'll meet a boy who will learn your favourite flower, your favorite song, your favourite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart."

An older kanej portrait, commissioned by a fantastic client 🥰

#six of crows #kanej #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #grishaverse #shadow and bone #crooked kingdom #leigh bardugo #xan!art

[xandrei]

A brief summary of how user engagement is tracked on Tumblr, for the newcomer:

When you like or reblog a post, that counts as user engagement for the person you liked or reblogged from, and shows up in their notifications.  

If the person you liked or reblogged a post from wasn’t the original poster (i.e., you’re liking or reblogging a reblog), it also counts as user engagement for the original poster, and shows up in their notifications as well.  

This means that user engagement from your likes and reblogs can potential accrue to two different people, the original poster and the person you liked or reblogged from.  

Consequently, you cannot “steal” user engagement from someone by reblogging their post.  

This is one of the very few areas where Tumblr is actually functions more reasonably than other social media platforms.  

Note that this is only true if you use Tumblr’s built-in reblogging function. If you save someone else’s content to your local device and append it to a new post, you effectively become the original poster from that point on.  

This means that on Tumblr, “reblogging” and “reposting” are two different things; if you see someone complaining about “reposting”, this is not the same as reblogging.  

Commenting when reblogging does not affect any of this – unlike, say, Twitter, where quote-retweeting causes user engagement to accrue to the quote-retweet and not to the original tweet – and you can and should do so freely.  

However, every Tumblr user can see who exactly you reblogged a post from, which functions as a soft disincentive against making inane comments; if you make a dumb comment on a reblog, people who see your reblog may “back up” one step in the reblog chain to reblog a version of the post without your comment.  

Nobody understands tags, and there’s a fair amount of evidence that how tags work changes periodically and without warning.  

Tags are a divine mystery.

#tumblr 101 #social media #I get asked if people are allowed to reblog my stuff quite often #because they mistake it for reposting #which is a whole other mess

[xandrei]

“I don’t know if those fields are still there. But tulips, they die each year, and they always come back. Frozen in the ground maybe, but they return, year after year. They’re supposed to symbolize rebirth.” – Treading Water by @rietveldbrothers

What if Jordie lived? If you’ve ever wondered the same thing, then get yourself over to Katya’s ( @rietveldbrothers ) fic, which was done for the @grishaversebigbang <3 Also DEFINITELY check out the jaw-dropping work done by the rest of the crew: @iri-lynx (x), @discountscoobyart (x), @buckagain (x), and @kayadraws (x). An enormous thanks to @reapersbarge for beta’ing *blows kisses at*

#jordie rietveld #six of crows #soc spoilers #gvbbcreation21 #gvbb21 #shadow and bone #grishaverse #crooked kingdom #xan!art

[xandrei]

what do you mean this scene wasn't in Rule of Wolves

(based off of this comic by Kate Beaton)

#row spoilers #grishaverse #nikolai lantsov #kaz brekker #shadow and bone #IRL lol #wrap this in a bow and send it to the sab writer's room

[xandrei]

#fyi #long post #informative

[xandrei]

Late night settling the books at the Crow Club.

#six of crows #kaz brekker #shadow and bone #grishaverse #not my art #love the detail #the pose is so good and very kaz in concentration #nice touch with the coffee cup and the bottle of alcohol lol #depending on how his day goes maybe he needs both

[xandrei]

“The boy with a thousand hurts, who wanted to reach out a hand to the one girl that could feel them.” – my pain shouldn’t be yours by @dregstrash​

my (belated) piece for elisha’s amazing and heartwrenching fic done for the @grishaversebigbang, which features kanej soulmates (if that doesn’t get you to read idk what will!!!) i had the immense pleasure of working with these lovely artists, who created some amazing work: @cla-oh (x), @cassecorrea (x), @crownofnight (x), and @phy-be (x). definitely go check out their pieces!

#kanej #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #gvbb21 #gvbbcreation21 #six of crows #grishaverse #leigh bardugo #shadow and bone #xan!art

[xandrei]

“I can offer you a trade. A single life, one that causes more discord, with its single death, than any monster you’d want to make.” – open seas, open skies by @disarminglys

my piece for dai’s amazing sinbad x grishaverse AU, done for the @grishaversebigbang <3 i got to work with the STORM HOUNDS which is still one of the best group names, lbr!!! please check out the other pieces done by @punchsomeoneforme-willyou (x), @neon--diamonds (x), and @drawfulneutral (x) because they rule

#nikolai lantsov #grishaverse #shadow and bone #gvbb21 #gvbbcreation21 #open seas open skies #leigh bardugo #eris #goddess of chaos #sinbad au #xan!art

[xandrei]

It’s DOOOOONE! It’s finally finished! Oh my gosh, what a journey this has been! I started concept on this last July (2020) and have been working in chunks via Instagram Lives to complete this sequel papercraft of the Six of Crows for over a year! I’m so excited to present Hook And Crook, inspired by a specific scene that happens in Crooked Kingdom. I’ve been stating this over and over again during the lives, but there were specific mirrors happening here between the two papercrafts that wholly define the dynamics of the characters and the two books.  

We talked about how the symbols in the facade of the Slat in Featherdark (Six of Crows papercraft) represented the strengths of each character (cane, knife, guns, bombs etc). The crow is standing proud and upright, above the city, to symbolize the upper-hand that the dregs had during SOC.

Now, the tables have turned in Hook And Crook. The symbols on the facade of the hotel show the character’s weaknesses (gloves, a red bird, gambling wheel, Dunyasha’s stars, paintbrush & laurels etc). The crow is defensively crouching with its hackles raised, the city above and oppressing - all representing the dregs having to turn and fight under dire circumstances. And bonus! When you put the two side-by-side, a little nod to a certain Ravkan symbol takes form! What a stupidly fun project this was! I’m so happy it’s finally finished and I thank you all for those who joined me in the lives to watch the process! (so sorry for the low quality on this; Featherdark is my most pilfered artwork for unsanctioned merch 💔)

#six of crows #crooked kingdom #grishaverse #shadow and bone #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #nina zenik #jesper fahey #matthias helvar #wylan van eck #not my art #absolutely incredible #thank you for sharing this with us #how do I acquire a side by side print