feralboo-the-weirdo

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

My cat when I'm actively trying to give her pets and love*running away, chaos is ensuing, one child is crying*: mother is evil! I shall never love again! Get away from me stranger!!! I despise touch!!!

My cat when I'm working on something I can't set down, or when I need to use my hands: MOTHER. LOVE ME. No one loves me :( I shall perish, unloved and unwanted. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!!

#Cats #why are cats like this #kitty cat #angry cat #Funny #Funny post #relateable #humor #cat #cats of tumblr #pets #my cat is adorable #my cat is such a drama queen

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

Me: I feel like writing! that sounds fun!

My brain: .... Do you? well, I uh, don't. so. Sorry. :/

Me: BUT--

My brain: I don't and will therefore not allow it. Have a nice day.

#writer problems #writers block #writer #writers on tumblr #writing #writerscommunity #writeblr #angry #im so annoyed #like sir? #please?? #relateable #probably relatable #funny #funny post

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

Watched the netflix avatar, and I haven't seen anyone talk about this:

WHY DOESN'T AANG LEARN WATERBENDING?????

The show gives no reason (bad or not) for him not to learn water bending!!!

Like when is he going to learn waterbending??? Is he just not going to? He's just going to defeat Ozai with friendship??? Or he'll learn them all all at once???? Or even worse, is he just going to suddenly learn it off screen???

book 1 WATER

Overall, better than the movie, but still pretty bad. Right vibe, too much exposition.

#nalta #alta #zhao still the only character to remain in character -regardless of the adaption- the entire time. #avatar the last airbender #netflix avatar #aang #avatar aang #waterbending #book 1 #vent #also katara #just #what #did they #do #to #my #angry #blorbo???? #sokka and zuko were pretty good #azula was cool but she had nothing to do #like all her scenes kinda felt the same?? #just her being angry #mai and ty lee being like “azula chill” #sooo much exposition #annoyed #loved episode six though #somehow Ozai sucks even more #don't get me started on iroh #love zuko's crew though

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

*The gang's thoughts on stabbing* Aang: Would never stab anyone. Katara: Would stab someone in retaliation. Toph: Yells "I won't hesitate, dunderhead!" first.

Sokka: Would stab without warning.

Zuko: Would stab as a warning.

#prince zuko #aang #alta aang #avatar aang #alta #incorrect quotes alta #incorrect quotes #avatar katara #avatar toph #toph #toph beifong #sokka #atla sokka #sokka avatar the last airbender #the gaang

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

Toph: Am I in trouble?

Katara: Take a guess.

Toph: No?

Katara: Take another guess.

#katara #toph #toph beifong #the gaang #avatar the last airbender #alta #incorrect quotes alta #incorrect quotes

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

Aang: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this? Zuko, sighing: Fine. We're cowabunga.

#Aang #avatar the last airbender #zuko #prince zuko #fire lord zuko #avatar aang #funny #funny content #incorrect quotes Alta #alta

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

Dr. Smith: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer. Judy: Will: Penny: ...Please, go back to bed.

#Dr smith #judy robinson #will robinson #penny robinson #incorrect lost in space quotes #inccorect quotes #lost in space 2018 #lost in space netflix

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

I'm no longer angry. I'm just tired.

Brain numbingly tired.

it's hard to focus because I'm just so tired and I just don't care anymore. I should have empathy, but I just can't anymore. I'm exhausted at the idea of caring.

So so tired of eggshells.

so tired of waiting.

I just want out.

But I'm scared I'll do this with everything else too. I'll tire of that eventually, like I have with my life here.

But most people don't even know this is happening. They don't see how scared I am of my family. They don't understand why, because it's "not that bad" but they haven't seen it when it is that bad. People seem so angry when you talk about going no contact, but they don't understand that speaking with those members of your family is like ingesting poison.

Parents aren't supposed to feel like school counselors.

They chose one child to protect and it wasn't me.

And I'm tired of them pretending that sibling "isn't that bad"

Even though I feel sick at the thought of interacting with them because I never know if today is the day I get murdered.

#trauma #childhood trauma #tw emotional abuse #emotional neglect #emotional abuse #emotional suppression #numb #emotions #feelings #toxic family #depersonalization #high functioning depression #highly sensitive people #adhd problems #adhd #emotional #whump #angry #tired #mentally tired #actually mentally ill #mentally exhausted #healing journey #self awareness #therapy #burnout #writers block #writer stuff #writer problems #enmeshment

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

:/

i know that "im sorry you feel that way" is a shitty response to anything, but i really am sorry that you were built in an environment where you had to constantly worry about disappointing the people that are supposed to love you unconditionally. i really am sorry that your parents never unlearned what they were taught.

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

They hurt you. You will likely carry that for a long time. It wasn’t fair. You’re allowed to say that.

I get so tired of people who respond with “life’s not fair,” or “you’re letting them win by holding onto the past.”

Yes, it’s important to move on and not let it run your life, but it still wasn’t fair. And sometimes, we need to let that out.

Denying us that or making us feel bad about that is very invalidating. It’s okay to be angry, sad or whatever else and acknowledge the wrong that was done to you.

#childhood trama #trauma #trauma recovery #trauma survivor #abuse #emotional abuse #also so freaking gaslighting that people do this #like let me feel my feelings #thanks

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

Me as a kid: wow all that stuff about disfunctional families really fits my family. huh. probably just coinsidence. every youngest is scared of their parents and the oldest. haha.

Me Now: oh. :(

Me as a teenager: I really relate to victims of child abuse. Weird, given my parents are amazing.

Me now: oh.

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

Haha, reached that part of dealing family crap where you're both terrified of your family and you just want to yell at them. But like none of them have therapists, or if they do they don't talk about problems like that. or they don't like their therapist for "reasons".

Sometimes I wish I had gone to war and got PTSD from that, because people have more pity for that than 'my family sucked because they were super emotionally neglectful and I'm not even sure if half of my memories are real because my family is only evil sometimes'.

I just want to yell at them. So badly. But I don't want to ruin them. But at the same time I do. I just want them to apologize for being ruining my life but that's not likely to happen. I'll probably end up apologizing to them.

Why can't they suck all the time? like I don't want them to, but I want a confirmation I didn't imagine my childhood. But like then they do suck and you're like "today's the day i yell at people" and instead you just fall into old patterns because you don't want to break eggshells and you don't have the means to leave yet so you can't destroy your relationship with your family yet.

But then like they stop being terrible the next day and you're like "wait, why was I mad? you're not that bad." and then it happens again and you're like "Oh, yeah. Okay. That's a good reason to be mad."

The cycles are killers.

#childhood trauma #high functioning depression #trauma #depersonalization #adhd #emotional abuse #toxic family #ugh #ugh ugh ugh #youngest sibling #youngersister #oldest daughter #oldest sibling #middle sibling #youngest child #youngest sibling trauma #homeschool sucks #lonely homeschool kid #angry #it makes me so angry #it makes me sad #I wnat to be angry #I want to yell and scream but I can't #I'm supposed to be the child who doesn't hurt people #I'm supposed to be the good child. #I don't want to be like them #everything just hurts #ptsd #tw ptsd #abuse survivor

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

I think my favorite trope in middle grade books is how firmly the narrator manages to convince themselves they're going to have a "normal" anything. (vacation, walk, school year, etc)

Like it's definitely not healthy in any way, but I admire their total commitment to it. like, bud. did you see the cover of this book? the MC tries so hard to have the major plot point not happen so hard, and they never succeed.

feel free to add if you know of more books/MC's that do this, I made a list in the tags, but it's kinda short.

#cough #emily windsnap #keeper of the lost cities #philippa fisher #middle grade books #I was rereading some of the classics #I was also bored #loved these books as a kid #still do #like bro it's not healthy how they gaslight themselves #especially Emily #girl needs to see a therapist #luckily Sophie was convinced pretty quickly her life would not be normal. she still needs a therapist though... #it's just so funny #because you know #the second they say “this will be a totally normal adventure--I mean vacation/school year” #it won't be #pretty sure Percy Jackson does this? #Percy Jackson #Harry Potter also does this

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

Genuine love is just so wholesome. Like you're cuddling up with someone and feeling the pressure of their body against yours and you can feel them laughing and breathing and it's just so nice knowing you're not alone. Like it's just so wonderful. like going to people for a hug after a long day, dancing in the kitchen, cuddling up with a cat, a cat purring their little heart out because they're just so happy to see you, or people literally carving out time to spend it with you, or reaching for your hand in public to make sure they don't lose you, and just holding it tight, staying up late talking and laughing and being there for each other.

never had a significant other, but all I want is someone I can just fully love and kiss and hold and help and break down my walls around and let them do the same. I want to cuddle after a long day, dance in the kitchen, make food together, laugh together, read together, drive together, go on a train together holding hands, hold them when they cry, be there for them be a safe place where they can know I care, the soft kind of love that reminds you why you fell in love in the first place. in a world so harsh all I want is softness. I don't want to fall hard into love, I want to slowly fall for someone and realize that oh gosh, I'm in love and I love them and I want to be with them every day of my life and read and laugh and live and-- and-- and I don't mind. I don't want big adventures or thousands of surprises, all I want is to wake up beside someone and whisper how much I love them and kiss their forehead, and snuggle closer for them to do the same.

I want to be loved, but more importantly I want to have love.

#couple goals #desire #touch #touchstarved #tenderness #passionate #touch me #cozy #cozy vibes #warm and cozy #cozy aesthetic #warm #cozycore #childhood trauma #depersonalization #daydreaming #adhd problems #siblings #cats #lovers #love #I just want to love someone #I want someone to feel loved #hugs #kisses #cuddles #relationship #relationship goals #soft love #love language

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

Bro, social media is so weird. Like you make posts and blogs and people see them. Like depending on how popular you are people think about them a lot, they see them a lot. You have a presence in the online world. It's so weird. so so weird. like people (most of the time) aren't policing you for stating your thoughts like with your family and you can just keep going and talking about things for a long time. it's so... weird. You can be an entirely different subset of yourself here and no one would know. it's like taking on a persona. Like I can't explain how I feel about it it's just so odd.

#food for thought #childhood trauma #depersonalization #adhd #adhd thought #adhd inattentive #emotional abuse #neurodivergent #exsistential crisis #humans are weird #high functioning depression #adhd problems #space #bizarre #probably relatable #highly sensitive people

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

Woah, woah, wait, hang on, I have something for you: *gives you hug* I'm so proud of you for making it this far. You can go ahead and cry if you want, I won't judge. There's nothing wrong with crying. You don't have to be strong all the time. You did what you could today, don't require more of yourself than you can give. It's okay to disappoint people. You have to disappoint people at some point or you won't be happy. It sucks, but you'll figure it out. You'll find a way to live as well as survive. This moment will pass.

okay, you can go now. <3

#comfort #overstimulation #highly sensitive people #childhood trauma #depersonalization #adhd #emotional abuse #autism #mental health #sensory overload #comfy #warm and comfy #comfycore #cozy #warm #good vibes #positive thoughts #big sister vibes #anxiety #perfectionist #perfectionism #burnout #stress #people pleaser

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

Me finally sitting down to do nothing for the first time all day: ah I can't wait to stay up late :D

My cat with increasingly pitiful meows and looks: But.... but what if... love... snuggs.... I've never loved anyone like you.....homannnn!!! Please I've been deprived of love all day. I NEED LOVE <3

Me: bro you've litterally acted like I was your enemy all day. Leave me alone.

My cat: ... But... :(

Me *two hours later literally holding her in my arms and scratching behind her ears as she purs like a little motor*: I hope you appreciate I give you my free time.

My cat:

#cat #kitty cat #cats of tumblr #cute cats #kitty #cute animals #kitties #cozy #cozy aesthetic #warm and cozy #warm #hug #cuddling #meower #meow #meowmeow #relatable #people pleaser #love so geninue #they love you so much #and then they hate you the next day #like pick one bestie