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lacroixwh0r3 · 10 months

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The First Taste

DBF!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: You meet Joel, your dad's best friend, for the first time after your dad begged you to join them at the lake to keep Sarah company. Both you and Joel become fascinated by each other the moment the two of you met.

Warnings: SMUT!!! DUB CON, heavy sexual tension, drug usage (weed only), petnames, age gap (Joel is 36 and reader is 21), masturbation (F and M), fingering, voyerism, daddy kink, dom!Joel, Joel is a perv and an asshole, cursing, swimming??, no outbreak

Song inspo (feel free to read if you want): The First Taste by Fiona Apple

PART 2 PART 3

A/N: This takes place four years before Blow My Load, but can be read as a standalone.

Please share, comment, like, and reblog...enjoy lovies! <33

"Dad, I thought it was supposed to be a "boy's trip," and the last time I checked, I am not a boy." You point at your body as you tell your dad. For some reason, he is begging you to come to the lake with him and his friends the day before they leave. "Why won't you just tell me why you want me to go? And maybe I'll give you an answer."

You finally got him to crack.

Your dad let out a defeated sigh as he scratched the back of his head and avoided eye contact. You mentally prepared yourself for whatever bullshit your dad was about to say. "Well, you see, honey, one of the guys couldn't get a babysitter for his kid, and I offered you to keep her company." He winced.

And there it is. The thing he was holding back from you

You let out a sarcastic chuckle. You really couldn't believe this shit. "Are you serious, dad? I refuse to babysit some random kid because you offered me up without even asking me first!" You exclaimed at him. "I don't even know a damn thing about this kid."

"Look, I know it was wrong for me to do that, sweetheart, but I swear Sarah is a good kid. Most of the time she has her headphones in and minds her business." He tries to reason with you, almost pleading with you. You began to feel bad for blowing up on him like that, but it really did piss you off that you had to watch someone else's kid. "I'll even pay you."

This weekend, you planned on doing nothing but self-care. You wanted to do nothing but stay home, watch movies, get a mani and pedi, go get a massage, drink, and maybe even play with the new toy you just bought yourself at Spencers.

You feel yourself giving into your dad; it wasn't the money that made you say yes, but the fact that he always found a way to make you feel bad, even if he didn't mean to do it. "Ugh, fine!" You scoff as you turn to look away from him. From the corner of your eye, you can see his body perk up.

Your dad lets out a sigh of relief, saying, "Thank you so much, sweetheart! You're such a lifesaver; you know that, right?" He slaps your shoulder playfully, causing you to shrug it off and narrow your eyes at him playfully as well.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. How old is your friend's daughter, anyway?" You asked him, unfazed by it all.

"I think she's around 14?" Your dad said cluelessly. "Not too bad, right? I'm sure that you can find something to talk about with her."

It wasn't that bad, but what the fuck would you, a 21-year-old, have in common with a 14–15-year-old girl?

"I guess. I'm gonna start getting my stuff all packed up," You tell him as you turn around to go up to your room.

"Alright, sweetheart, and thanks again!" He exclaims to you as you make your way farther up the steps.

"Yup!" You yell it out dismissively.

As much as you hated the circumstances, you were happy you were finally able to get away for a little bit.

...

It was the next day, and you were tired as hell after only getting four hours of sleep. You had spent all night packing and stressing about what you were going to wear. It wasn't like you were trying to impress anyone, but this was your first time meeting your dad's friends, and you wanted to look decent.

You had left it up to your dad to pack your things into the car as you were too tired to do anything besides shower, put your clothes on, and lay back down for a little until it was time to go. As you lay face down on the bed, knocked out, you heard your dad knock on the door. "Hey, kiddo, are you ready to head out?" He asked you as he stood at the door.

You slowly sit up on your bed as you yawn and stretch your arms over your head. "Yeah, let me just get up and grab my purse and stuff."

"Got it." Your dad says this before turning around and making his way downstairs.

After moments of sitting on your bed, stairing into space, you got up, grabbed your purse, and began to leave your room. However, on your way to the door, you see the pouch that contained your weed and weed paraphernalia. You hesitantly swiped it from your dresser, dropped it into your bag, and went downstairs.

If the men got to have their fun, why couldn't you?

Once you get to the last step, you hear your dad saying bye to someone on the phone before turning to you. "My buddy, Joel, just got to the lake house, so we should start headin' out." He says this as he grabs his keys and motions for you to follow him to the door.

After making sure the security alarm was set and locking the door, the two of you were finally on your two-hour journey to the lake house.

...

You and your dad finally made it to the lake house. It was a three story house that sat on top of a hill, surrounded by nothing but trees.

You and your dad hop out of the car and start bringing your bags to the front door. All of a sudden, the moment you sat the last bag down and brought your fist up to knock at the door, it swung open, revealing a man who looked to be in his early 30s with short, dark, curly hair.

Beside him was a woman with long locs, smiling warmly at you. Meanwhile, the man looked at you with confusion, trying to piece together who you were. You looked familiar to him, but he couldn't put a name to your face.

"Tommy!" Your dad said loudly behind you. You could hear the excitement in his voice as he greeted him. Tommy's eyes moved to look behind you at your dad, and his eyes lit up.

"Oh man, y'all come on in!" He opened the door wider as he and the unnamed woman moved out of the way to allow you to walk in first, followed by your dad. "I'll grab the rest of the bags out there." Tommy says.

Tommy brought the bags in as your dad greeted the lady. "Hey, Maria!" He asked her as he gave her a side hug. "I didn't know you were gonna be joining us this weekend as well."

So that was her name.

"I didn't think I was going to be joining either. Tommy invited me last minute, so I just decided to take some time off of work," She replies back.

They stood near the entrance as they began to get deeper into the conversation, talking about God knows what, leaving you standing there awkwardly as you watched them. You decided to take that moment to observe the room. Even though the house was spacious, it still had a cozy feel to it.

As you were in your own world, your dad gently slapped his hand on your shoulder unexpectedly. "And this young lady right here is my daughter." He smiles at the two as Maria and Tommy turn their attention to you.

"Nice to meet you, kid," He says as he offers his hand to shake yours, which you accept. You shake hands with him before dropping them to your side. Tommy then points to Maria. "This is my wife, Maria."

You shake hands with her as well while you tell them your name. "It's so great to meet you two!" You beam at the couple.

They begin to ask you a series of questions about yourself, such as what university you attended, what your major was, and so on, to which you gladly answer.

However, in the midst of your conversation, your words are abruptly interrupted by the sound of the sliding door opening, followed by heavy footsteps. "And here comes my asshole brother, Joel, and my niece, Sarah," Tommy says to you, prompting both you and your dad to look behind you. You can hear Maria let out a loud laugh at Tommy's words.

Your eyes immediately focused on him as he got closer to you, not even paying attention to the fact that his daughter was right behind him as well.

The man named Joel had short, dark, curly hair like Tommy’s; the only difference is that he is a lot shorter, and the roots of his hair were slightly gray at his temples. Joel also had a patchy beard with a thick mustache. He has this rugged and mysterious look to him that completely enraptures you.

He and your dad greet each other, giving a quick bro hug and pulling away. Joel then turns to you, and you feel your hands quiver. His dark, dominant eyes intensify the intimidating aura that surrounds him, yet it still makes him even more interesting to you.

Holy hell, you think to yourself. This man is so fucking fine.

You continued to stare at Joel, saying absolutely nothing, until you realized that he was giving you a confused look as if he were waiting for something. Your eyes darted down, and you realized that he had his hand out, waiting for you to shake it. You felt your face heat up with embarrassment as you went to shake his hand.

"Joel," was all he said as the two of you shook hands before he let go and discreetly rubbed his hands into his shirt. You could feel yourself shrink with embarrassment as he did this. Not only did he not even give you a chance to introduce yourself, but he wiped his hands after shaking yours.

What a fucking jerk! Tommy was right; he is an asshole.

You quickly snapped out of your feelings when you realized that Sarah was now in front of you. She wore a pink crop top and jean shorts, while her curly hair was placed in a low ponytail.

She suddenly brings you in for a hug with a massive smile on her face, catching you off guard. Nonetheless, you still happily return the hug.

"I'm Sarah. It's nice to meet you!" Unlike Joel, Sarah was a lot more friendly with you. She had this radiant energy to her that made you wonder where she got it from because it definitely wasn't from Joel's grumpy ass. You tell her your name.

"It's nice to meet you as well, Sarah!" I return a smile back to her. She seems like the sweetest 14-year-old you've ever met. "I think we're gonna get along just fine this weekend."

"We sure are!"" She agrees.

"Sarah, sweetheart, how've you been?" Your dad asked her.

As your dad began to talk to Sarah, you decided to check Joel out while he listened to the conversation, occasionally putting in his two cents. Unlike the rest of the group, Joel wore a dark gray shirt, jeans, and some boots.

How is he not hot?

I mean, he is hot, but I meant temperature-wise, you think, causing yourself to let out a low chuckle.

You guess you said that out loud because Joel’s head, along with Maria's, Sarah's, and Tommy's, suddenly snapped over to you with eyes wide and eyebrows raised. Your dad's voice slowly began to fade when he saw the mortified expression on Sarah's face.

"Wait, what happened?" Your dad asked cluelessly as he looked around the group. He was so in his own world that he didn't hear what you said. Thank-fucking-goodness. "Everyone just stopped talking all of a sudden."

"Nothing!" You quickly tell him as you give him a disengenious smile before looking at everyone else. Sarah looked embarrassed for you, as Tommy and Maria still looked shocked. You get a glimpse of Joel as you wince in embarrassment and close your eyes; he had this smug look on his face.

You gathered that Tommy obviously loves to fuck around with people because he let out a stifled laugh, causing his wife to slap his arm and tell him to shut up.

You just wanted to die right then and there. This is now the second time today you've embarrassed yourself in front of this sexy ass man.

Your dad, being the clueless person he is, continues on with whatever he is talking about, not even realizing that no one is paying attention to him. Maria interrupts your dad as she clears her throat to catch your attention. She had a sympathetic look on her face. "Sweetie, your room is on the second floor next to, uh, Joel's, if you wanna get settled in," She offered to you. "We're going to head out to the lake and start putting some things on the grill around 2 or so." You just nodded your head because you were too afraid to speak.

"Hey, Joel?" Tommy looked at his brother with a teasing look on his face. "Why don't you go show her to her room, yeah?" He nods his head in the direction of the staircase.

You wished that you could just punch Tommy across the face at this very moment.

"Umm yeah..." Joel agrees slowly as he gives Tommy a dirty look before glancing at you. "Follow me," You nodded your head and grabbed your purse and other bags. As you followed Joel, the group quietly picked up their conversation again.

Without saying a word to each other, you and Joel arrive in the room. He steps aside, allowing you to enter, and turns around to make his way down the hallway to go back downstairs, but you quickly stopped him before he could get any further. "Hey, I'm sorry about what happened down there." You apologized to him. "I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable or anything."

Joel just turns around and gives you a small smirk. "Oh, darlin', I'm far from uncomfortable. I'm actually flattered...more than flattered as a matter of fact." He winks at you before departing down the hallway, leaving you shocked.

You were somewhat relieved that Joel wasn't disgusted by you, but it still didn't help with your embarrassment as much as you hoped it would.

You scanned the room, taking in the room that you were going to be spending your weekend sleeping in. The walls were painted a light gray. There was a queen-sized bed that looked really comfortable and had bedside tables on each side as well as a TV, which was mounted onto the wall opposite the bed. There was a door that led to a balcony. You could see an overview of the calm lake and the tall trees. It was a beautiful view.

...

It's been a while since you went downstairs with everyone. You were still so embarrassed by the incident this morning that you decided to spend most of your time scrolling through social media and catching up with your college friends. The only time you came out of the room was to go to the bathroom.

You eventually rolled out of bed and worked up the courage to join everyone.

After changing your clothes that you had on earlier and putting on your swim suit, you slipped on your oversized shirt, put on some waterproof mascara, and put on some lip gloss.

You made sure to grab your sunglasses, put on your flip-flops, and jogged down the steps.

Once you got down there, you realized that Maria was in the kitchen. You headed towards her, quickly greeting her. "Hi, Maria," You say while positioning yourself behind the chairs on the island. She was gathering something that she needed to put outside.

"Hey, sweetheart!" Maria happily greets you back with a smile as she turns her attention to you. "How're you feeling?" She asked you gingerly as she looked at you with sympathy. Her goal wasn't to embarrass you; she truly wanted to know if you were okay after earlier.

You felt yourself begin to get flustered. "I'm fine. Thanks for asking." You sheepishly replied. You avoided her eyes, beginning to feel awkward.

"Of course. They're out in the back; you should join them." She points to the sliding door. You just nodded your head and made your way to the door. Before you went out there, you stood there looking outside. You could see Joel's tall figure standing over the grill as he flipped the meat and sipped on his beer.

You felt yourself getting nervous just looking at him.

You then looked and saw your dad helping Joel take the food off the grill and start to place it on the table. Meanwhile, Sarah and Tommy sat at the table, talking to each other. Whatever Tommy had said made them let out loud laughs, causing Joel quickly turned around, let out a chuckle, and shook his head. He then went back to putting things on the rest of the food on the serving platter.

His smile is so gorgeous, it almost takes your breath away.

"Are you going out, sweetheart?" Maria asked behind you, startling you. You had forgotten that she was still here.

You turned to her as you began to stammer over your words and realized that her hands were full with plasticware and plates. "Do you need me to help you take those?" You asked her without even answering her question.

"I do actually," She just looked at you with a questionable look before speaking up again. "Can you just grab the forks and spoons from the top and place them on the table out there, please?" She asked. You grabbed the utensils before turning back around and opening the door.

They didn't notice you at first until Sarah caught sight of you and loudly called out your name as you got closer, causing Joel to look over at you as he closed the grill's top.

"Sarah!" You exclaimed dramatically. Once you reached the table, you sat the plasticware down and went over to sit next to her.

You noticed that her hair was wet and that she was wrapped in a towel. "What've you been up to, girlfriend?" You asked her as you sat down in the seat.

"Nothing much; I just took a quick dip in the lake, and now I am starving," Sarah whined out as she looked over at her dad, who was coming over with the food.

You can hear the sound of Joel's heavy feet approaching behind you and stopping at the free seat at the end of the table, which was next to you. He first put the food in the middle of the table, then plopped himself down. We all began to put things on our plates and begin eating.

Tommy grumbled something about starving, causing Sarah to make a joke about how he was always starving. In reply, Tommy stuck his tongue out at the young girl in a teasing manner.

As Joel ate, he was manspreading under the table. You could feel his hairy, bare leg graze against yours, making you move your leg away. Joel wiped his mouth with the napkin, took a sip of his beer, and looked at you with a blank stare, not saying anything.

You decided to speak up and compliment him on the food. "Joel, this is really good," You smile. Everyone hummed in agreement as they ate.

"Why thank you, darlin'?" Joel says, going back to eating.

...

After eating, we all sat there with our tummies full as we sat around talking about whatever came to mind. That was until Sarah ran into the house without saying a word.

"Oh goodness, that girl." He sat back as he watched his daughter running around the house through the sliding door before running back outside with a box of Uno cards.

"Who wants to play?" She asked the whole table as she ran to her seat and plopped down.

We all agreed. She began to shuffle the cards, dealt them out to everyone, and then set up the game. It first started with you, Joel, Maria, Tommy, then your dad, and lastly Sarah.

Sarah was the first one to get Uno, even though she had the most cards at one point. We all accused her of cheating, which she was quick to deny. No one at the table believed her, especially Tommy and Maria. She just rolled her eyes and helped your dad while he was stuck figuring out which cards to play next.

While the two silently argued about which card was the best, you looked over at Joel and saw that all his cards were showing. You looked around and noticed that no one was paying attention to his cards. Tommy and Maria were sitting there watching your dad and Sarah.

"You're bleedin', Joel," you whisper to him as you point to his card. His face scrunched up with confusion as to what you meant. He looked down at himself and saw no blood.

"What, sugar? I ain't bleedin' anywhere," He said as he tried to recall if he had maybe scraped himself anywhere, but it wasn't coming to him. You couldn't help, but laugh at his confusion.

"It means your cards are showing, Joel." You giggled at him as he chuckled a bit and put his cards up so that he wasn't "bleeding" anymore.

"That's so stupid, who taught you that?" You just shrugged your shoulders at his question and looked back over to see if your dad had finally picked up his card yet.

"Oh my gosh, this isn't rocket science, dad! Just pick a card already!" You exclaimed it, causing everyone to laugh.

"I'm tryin', I'm tryin'!" Your dad waved you off as he went back to silently arguing with Sarah about which card to choose.

The game got drawn out longer than it was supposed to because every other minute someone (usually Tommy) would start arguing about another person cheating. And in the end, Tommy lost the game.

We put the cards away as everyone except for Maria decided to hang out by the dock and take a swim. She said something about having to get on the phone with a client of hers, but she would come join us when she was done and would bring popsicles.

You and Sarah walked in front of your dad, Joel, and Tommy until you yelled out, "Beat you there!" to Sarah as you both haphazardly ran down the steps to get to the dock.

"You girls, be careful down those stairs now! Don't want y'all gettin' hurt," Joel yells out from behind. The two of you don't respond or slow down; you just keep giggling and running. Joel had to suppress a smile from appearing on his face. It brought him joy to hear how much fun Sarah was having with you.

Once you make it to the dock, Sarah flings off her towel and jumps into the lake with a squiel before she goes under water and floates back up. You quickly kick off your flip flops, throw your sunglasses down, and take off your shirt. Unlike Sarah, you didn't jump into the water, you sat down on the dock and scooched into the water.

Oh, come on! You should've jumped in!" She says this to you as she splashes you with water. You splashed her back.

"I'm too afraid, Sar-bear!" You yelled out to her, and she gasped. The men appeared from the concrete steps just as she did so. Joel dropped the towels in his arms before walking over in front of us, while your dad and Tommy moved to the other side of the dock with their beers and their folding chairs.

"Dad, can you believe that she's too afraid to jump into the water?" Sarah yells out to her dad.

He looked down at you from the dock with his hands on his hips and cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Really? It's not that scary, sweetheart," He tells you.

"Then how about you get in, Joel?" You say to him without even thinking.

"Yeah, come on, dad. Get in and show her how it's done!" Sarah yells out as she encourages her dad to get in.

You watched Joel as he took off his shoes and shirt, all while keeping his eyes on you. You couldn't help but suck in a breath and bite your bottom lip when he pulled off his shirt. You got a glimpse of his shirtless chest. Joel wasn't the most muscular man, but whatever his job was, it kept him fit, and you loved it. Your eyes quickly scanned over his neck, then his broad shoulders.

Those damn shoulders of his. You wished you could hold onto them as you rode on his co-

Your thoughts were abruptly shattered when Joel took a big leap into the lake, causing a splash of water to hit your face and go up your nose. You tried to make an attempt at turning your head, but it was too late. You coughed as you tried to clear the water from your lungs. As you do so, Joel comes up from beneath the water.

He gasped as he allowed the air back into his lungs and used his big hands to wipe his face. Once he noticed that you were coughing, he quickly swam over to you with a look of concern.

"You okay, sweetheart?" He asked you as you let out one last cough and nodded your head. He brought his hand up to stroke the side of your head and gave you this tender look before pulling away when he noticed that Sarah was coming over.

If it were just you and Joel on the lake, he would've probably pulled you into his body and placed a soft kiss on your lips.

Even though he had just gotten into the lake, Joel decided to get out before he did something that he would regret.

"Alright, girls. I'm gonna get out now." He says more to Sarah than to you. Once again, you just nodded your head at him. You knew that if you spoke, you'd embarrass yourself again.

"Wha-Dad! You literally just got in." She tries to convince him, but he just shook his head and grabbed onto the rails. He pulls himself up with a grunt and walks onto the dock.

"I'll get back in in a little bit." He dismissed her as he went to get a towel.

Sarah began to say something to you as she swam around you, but you were too focused on Joel to listen to what she was saying. She was too busy talking to notice that you weren't listening. Your attention was stuck on Joel, and his wet shorts stuck to his surprisingly nice ass. He then turns around as he dries off. Your eyes drifted down and widening when you saw his bulge. You were taken aback by the sight.

Oh my god, you thought to yourself.

You looked back up at his face to realize that Joel was already staring at you and smirking while he wrapped the towl around his waist.

Oh fuck!

He obviously saw you staring at his cock because he was fucking smirking.

Joel walked over to have a seat with his brother and your dad. You diverted your attention back to Sarah, acting as if you knew what she was talking about. You just nodded your head a couple of times, and she believed it, but again, your mind drifted.

You were thinking about her dad; snap out of it for Christ's sake.

For the rest of your time at the lake, you refused to look at Joel. And just as promised, Maria finally joined you all about an hour later with the popsicles she said she would bring. Once we ate them, Maria convinced the other adults to have a swim in the lake, to which they all agreed after some groans and pressure from her and Sarah.

...

After spending most of the afternoon outside, everyone went off to do their own thing. Sarah decided to take a shower and then go to sleep while your dad, Tommy, and Maria opted to go out to a bar that a local had told them about, and Joel refused to go out tonight because he said that he was beat from the lake. As for you, you took a quick shower and decided to watch the sunset on the balcony that was connected to your room and smoke.

Before slipping onto the balcony, you grabbed a preroll and a lighter from the pouch, your headphones, and a water bottle from the bed.

When you first got here, you didn't notice that there was a door connected to the balcony that led to Joel's room. However, the sheer curtains were closed, so you could only assume that he was asleep, meaning it was safe for you to smoke without him seeing you. You sat down on the lounge chair, put your headphones on, turned on some music, and began your session.

After two hits of the preroll, you felt the effects of the weed. Your body began to relax, and your eyelids felt slightly heavy. As you continued smoking, you couldn't escape the thought of Joel. You know that he is your dad's friend, and you would never think to go after him, but you have to admit that he is an attractive older man. Just your type.

You barely spoke to him throughout the couple of hours you had been there, yet you could tell the type of man he was. He is very reserved, doesn't speak unless spoken to, and likes to observe. Joel is respectful, but he didn't take shit from anyone. It was very visible that he was protective of not only Sarah but also Tommy.

Everything about him drew you in more and more.

With a few more hits of your preroll, you see a figure standing in the corner of your eye just a few feet away from you, causing you to quickly pull off your headphones and flick the preroll from your fingers and off the balcony. You look over to see Joel watching you with his eyebrows frowned and his hands on his hips. Your eyes widen with shock.

"Shit! I mean, hey, Joel..." You smile up at him awkwardly, trying to seem as sober as possible. "What are you doing out here?" You asked him in a sickly sweet voice. He continues to stare at you before answering.

"I just came out here to check on you. Heard you out here, so I decided to see what you were up to." Joel grumbles as he switches his weight to his other foot.

You prayed that Joel didn't know you were out here smoking weed; your dad would kill you if he heard about you doing this. Little did you know that your attempt would be a complete failure. As soon as Joel walked outside, he could smell the smoke and aroma of weed. He could also see your bloodshot eyes.

"Oh, yknow, nothing much really, just out here enjoying the view and listening to music!" You say this while waving your hand, gesturing to the view in front of both of you. You visibly cringe after this sentence because, even though it was the truth, it wasn't the full truth. He seemed to buy it, so you relaxed a bit.

"Mm, you enjoyed yourself today?" he asked.

"Yeah, I had a lot of fun today. Sarah definitely made it fun for me, she's amazing." You admitted to him, and it was true. His daughter was truly a joy to be around.

"Yeah," He laughs out as he looks out at the sunset, his handsome smile threatening to appear on his face. "She's amazing, for sure." He whispers. You can't help but smile at his words. It was refreshing to see that there was someone who was able to crack his hard exterior.

A silence falls over the two of you before he speaks up again. "Y'know, when we were walking back to the car after the lake, she talked about you the whole time. I couldn't shut up about how much cooler you are than Tommy and me." He scoffs as he rolls his eyes playfully and folds his arms to his chest. His confession made you laugh so hard that you couldn't stop, which caused him to laugh as well.

"I mean, she isn't wrong." You teasingly say it to him, causing him to shake his head.

"Yeah-fuckin'-right, darlin'. I can be cool, too."

"Mmhmm.." You reply back to him as you turn your head to look back at the view. However, Joel's eyes remained on you, but you didn't mind too much.

Once again, silence fell over you two. You wanted to look back at Joel, but you knew that if you looked at him in the eyes, your heart would beat out of your chest.

"Did you enjoy yourself, Joel?" You asked him without looking at him.

"What?" Joel asked.

Was he that engrossed in my face that he wasn't even paying attention, or were you not loud enough?

You suppress your laugh as you turn your head to look at him again. "I asked if you enjoyed yourself today." He quickly snaps out of his trance and looks away.

"Oh, yeah, it was enjoyable for the most part, sweetie," Joel sighs out. You said nothing else after this.

You didn't realize it until now, but you were starting to grow tired from the weed. You also wanted a snack.

"Well, I'm going to head back in, maybe fall asleep to a movie or something." You tell him as you grab your belongings, get up from the chair, and walk to the door.

"Alright," He says as he watches every step you take. "And one last thing, darlin'," You stop with your hand on the doorknob and look up at Joel as you wait to hear what he has to say. With a mix of your high and the nervousness you were feeling because of Joel, your heart was pounding out of your chest at this point.

"You don't gotta lie to me, sweet girl. You know that, right?" He says lowly as he motioned to his eyes.

Fuck!

Your body tenses up, and you freeze. You decided to play dumb, even though you were caught. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Joel," You say as you let out a nervous laugh. Your eyes shifted to the ground, avoiding eye contact with Joel like a guilty puppy.

"Oh, no need to play stupid with me, sweet girl; I won't tell your daddy." Something about the way he said these words made you want him so bad; it was almost like he was teasing you.

You felt your walls crumbling, no longer feeling the need to lie to him. "You swear, Joel?" You asked him as you looked at him with pleading eyes.

Joel wished that you would look at him with those pretty eyes while you were on your knees, pleading and begging for him to feed you his cock. In all honesty, he'd give you the world if you asked for it with that look. You made Joel feel something he hasn't felt for a woman in years, and he was willing to do just about anything to have you. However, he could tell you weren't ready for that yet, but he knew in due time he'd have you.

"You have my word, darlin'," He nods his head. "Just don't lie to me again," Joel tells you as he points a finger.

You frantically nod your head in agreement as you bite your lip. "I won't do it again, Joel."

All Joel could think about was how obedient you are, so eager to please him and do as he says. He could feel his cock getting hard in his shorts as he looked at your bare thighs and had these thoughts. Not once did you realize that Joel was checking you out.

Oh, how badly Joel wanted to grab your chin and kiss those lips of yours. He kept reminding himself that he needed to be patient.

"Good." He says before speaking up again. "You should go inside, darlin', maybe get some rest." Joel insisted as he made his way to the door and gave you one last look before walking inside, leaving you outside by yourself.

You stand there dumbfounded for a moment as you think about your interaction with Joel. You weren't sure if it was just you thinking too much into the interaction, but you felt like there was some sexual tension between you and Joel.

Any time you're around him, nervousness takes over, and a sense of yearning aches deep in your bones.

You needed him badly.

"Don't," You say to yourself. "Don't fucking think about it." You say it lowly as you try to shake the thoughts out of your head.

Joel is off limits; he's your dad's best friend.

You realized how crazy you must look standing at the door thinking about Joel, so you went inside.

Once you entered the room, you noticed that it was a little too warm in there for your liking, so you decided to leave the balcony door cracked to get some fresh air.

You put your things away, got into bed, and watched a movie on the TV across the room.

...

You weren't sure when you fell asleep, but you did during the movie without even realizing it. You felt very discombobulated, so you sat in the dark for a few minutes. Your clothes felt disgusting on your body as you sweated through them, and your throat was dry.

You quickly got out of bed, slipped off your clothes, got back into bed, and took a sip of the water bottle that lay next to you. During this, you got a glimpse of the digital clock that sat on the bedside table. It read 12:48.

The house was quiet. You were sure that Maria, Tommy, and your dad were back from the bar by now and asleep. Sarah and Joel were probably sleeping as well.

You laid back down on the bed, pushing away the uncomfortable blanket, leaving your body bare. You should have gotten up to close the door because if Joel were to come to your balcony door, he'd surely get a glimpse of your naked body. However, you were still sleepy and a little high, so you lacked the motivation to get up.

It really didn't matter anyway; he's probably still sleeping.

You had laid restless in the bed, constantly flipping the pillows to get the cool side and changing positions, but you still couldn't sleep. You decided to lay on your stomach; it helped you fall asleep sometimes.

You knew one thing that would definitely make you fall asleep, but with a particular someone lingering in your thoughts, it felt wrong. It is completely wrong to have these thoughts about him.

He's way too old for you, and he's your dad's best friend.

Though you tried your best to resist these thoughts, you couldn't help yourself.

Fuck it, it's not like I'm gonna actually fuck him, you think to yourself.

You were suddenly taken back to earlier, when you first laid eyes on him. Those eyes and the curve of his nose. You wanted nothing more than to feel his beautiful nose rub against your clit while he ate you out.

Or when he shook your hands and you felt those thick, rough fingers against your smooth hands.

You were sure that Joel knew how to use them very well.

Subconsciously, your hips had bucked into the bed, trying to get friction onto your clit causing the headboard to hit against the wall ever-so-slightly.

"Shit!" You cursed out loud, hoping that Joel didn't hear. Your heart was pounding at the thought of being caught by him, but your pussy dripped with your wetness.

You waited a couple seconds until you took your hand from underneath the pillow and slowly moved it between the bed and your body, allowing your finger tips to graze against your pussy. You couldn't help but whimper at the feeling. Your arousal ran down your fingers, to your knuckles, and onto the bed.

What you didn't know was that Joel wasn't even in his room; he was sitting out on the balcony. He had been sitting out there for about an hour or so because he couldn't sleep, not with you on his mind, so he decided to sit out there and bore himself to death until he got some sleep. When he first came outside, he checked on you and saw that you were knocked out. The room was dark, and the only thing that brought some light to the room was the bright moonlight reflecting over the lake.

As Joel got up to check on you one last time before he went back to his room, he heard you let out a whimper. He slowly walked to your balcony door so that he wouldn't scare you in case you were having a nightmare, but that wasn't the case at all. Again, Joel heard you let out another noise.

First, you sharply gasped, then moaned out, "Oh, Fuck!"

Joel became more intrigued with whatever was going on in your room because it became very apparent that you weren't having a nightmare. In fact, it didn't even sound like you were sleeping anymore.

Like a thief in the night, Joel peered through the door that was half open. What he saw before him could've brought him to his knees.

You were lying down on your stomach, fully naked on the bed. He noticed that with your right hand, you were touching yourself. Joel wasn't hard before, but he's definitely hard now. He felt as his cock strained against the fabric of his shorts.

Joel knew it was wrong to watch you masturbate without knowing, but he couldn't take his eyes off of you. It had been nearly two years since the last time he had been sexually active, and quite honestly, it was catching up to him at that very moment. He had been so busy with everything in his life that sex was the last thing on his mind until now.

As Joel watched you hump your hips into your fingers, you were imagining a shirtless Joel sat up on the bed, with you sitting in between his legs. Your legs would be wide open, propped up over his, as you allowed his calloused middle and ring finger to collect your arousal from between your folder and rub it into your clit. With his deep Texas accent, he would be whispering into your ear about how much of a good girl you are and how wet you were for him. Your head would be laid on his sexy, broad shoulders as your eyes rolled with pleasure. You imagined that as he played with your clit, his other hand would touch your breast and quickly tweak your nipples as they continued going up and firmly wrapping around your neck.

You were so caught up in your thoughts and pleasure that you hadn't realized that you were moaning out Joel's name.

"J-Joel, please," You quivered out quietly enough so that you weren't too loud, but loud enough for Joel to hear. "I'll be good, p-please, daddy." You followed up.

Even though you thought that Joel was in the next room over (which he wasn't) and there were other people in the house, you still continued to touch yourself as the headboard faintly knocked against the wall.

Yet you were so blissfully unaware of it all. So unaware of the fact that Joel was standing right outside the door, watching you rubbing yourself completely nude, and unaware that Joel had pulled his cock out while he watched and listened to you.

Joel didn't care that what he was doing was wrong. He didn't care that watching you, this freshly 21-year-old, masturbate without your knowledge was bad.

The sounds of your panting, moans, and dirty talk made him want to walk right into the room and give you the pleasure you needed.

Joel has always been a selfish lover when it came to the bedroom; he liked to be the one who was dominant and always took control. He could tell you needed someone like him to fulfill your desires—not some foolish 20-something year old, but a real man.

As you continued to grind against your fingers, Joel saw how your ass moved back and forth. He wanted to spank you for being such a naughty girl. Touching yourself without asking for his permission. He would remind you that only slutty, bad girls did that.

He jerked his cock at the same speed as your hips moved. "Oh my god, daddy!" You moaned into the pillow, causing it to be muffled. The thrusting of your hips had sped up. You were on the cusp of cumming, but that changed when you suddenly pulled your hands from between your legs and got up to change positions.

You were now lying on your back with your legs bent up to your chest as far as they could go. Using the hand you just used to grind up against, you bring your middle and ring fingers to your mouth. You began to suckle on them intensely, pretending they were Joel's fingers. You could taste yourself as you did so.

A minute later, you pop your fingers out of your mouth and bring them down to your pussy. As you sink your fingers inside yourself, you can feel the wetness, allowing you to slip deeper into your tight hole. You squirmed as you felt a little discomfort due to your fingers. You decided to slowly thrust your fingers in and out, allowing yourself to get used to the feeling. With your free hand, you brought it up to your mouth to muffle your soft whines.

Oh, my baby, she can barely take her own fingers, Joel thought as he watched you.

To Joel's surprise, you still didn't see him standing by the door, hastily jerking himself off at the sight of you. It wasn't like he was being discreet about it either. He was almost fully through the door at that point. Your eyes were closed as you fingered yourself.

Finally, you were able to adjust to your fingers. As you picked up the speed, Joel could hear the wet, slick sounds coming from your pussy all the way across the room. Hearing this only heightens the pleasure for him.

"Joel, I'm-oh my god-I'm gonna cum!" You moaned lowly.

Joel wanted to be the one to make you cry, but he knew he couldn't at that moment.

Your messy wetness had allowed your fingers to go deeper inside, causing you a certain spot. Your legs shuddered as your finger tips grazed the spot. In a 'come here' motion, you continued to hit the spot over and over again. "Fuck! That's it, baby. Keep going just like that." You purred out.

Joel convulsed at the way you said these words. He was ready to cum at any moment, but he wanted to cum with you.

With his hand still rapidly moving up and down his length, he finally heard your release.

"Yes! I'm cumming all over your fingers, Joel!" You moaned a little louder this time. Joel could hear you breathing hard as you continued to ramble about how good it felt.

Instantly, Joel was cumming. He withheld his groans and grunts as the hot cum hit the palm of his other hand. Instead, he was breathing hard through his nose, hoping to God that you couldn't hear him.

Finally, your orgasm began to die down. "Oh my god," You sighed out blissfully, as you pulled your finger from your pussy. Your legs moved from your chest and you dropped down on the bed. You were still trying to catch your breath. With his mind still cloudy from cumming so hard, when Joel saw you move your legs, he thought that you were going to get off the bed, causing him to panic and move away from the door so that you couldn't see him.

You could feel the cum webbing between your two fingers. You decided that you wanted a look, so you opened your eyes and brought your hand close to your face. You could see the bright moonlight illuminate your cum. You'd never come so hard. Not with any of your hookups, let alone when you masturbated.

You felt spent after that, but you needed to get up to clean yourself off. You decided to rest your eyes a bit before getting up, but without even realizing it, you had dozed off into a dreamless sleep.

Less than five minutes later, Joel heard light snores coming from your room, so he decided that it was safe to look again. You were dead to the world. Joel saw your limp hand hanging off the bed—the same one you had used to fuck yourself with. He could see the wetness gleaming on your fingers. He wanted to come over them and suck your cum off of your fingers, but he stopped himself.

The post-nut clarity had hit Joel, and he realized that he must've looked like a creep with his cock out while he watched you sleep. So he closed your balcony door and headed back into the house to wash the cum from his hands.

Joel knew that he would have you one day; it didn't matter how long it took for him to get you. He would get you right where he wanted you eventually.

...

You woke up feeling like a brand new person that morning. Your limbs felt loose, and you felt like you could conquer the world.

You could feel the sun on your naked body as you rose out of bed to stretch. The sounds of people moving around let you know that everyone was awake.

You suddenly realized that the balcony door was now closed. You don't remember getting up to clean yourself, and you definitely don't remember ever getting up to close the door.

Realization had hit you hard, and your heart dropped.

Shit! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

There was no way anyone could have come into your room because you had locked the bedroom door. However, Joel had access to the shared balcony.

He was the only one who could've closed that door.

Whatever, you were going to enjoy yourself this weekend and act like nothing happened.

=============================================

A/N: I had a lot of trouble writing this for some reason, but next one is going to be a lot better. I got so much planned already hehe

#smut #the last of us #joel x reader #joel miller #joel the last of us #joel miller smut #tlou fanfiction #joel miller x reader #neighbor!joel #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #dads best friend #dbf!joel #dbf!joel miller #dbf!joel miller x reader #dbf!joel x you

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lalal-99 · 3 months

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of timeless love {h.j.} | track 1

©March 2023, February 2024 by lalal-99

Han Jisung x afab!reader | trope: slice of life, coming of age | word count: 2.6k

Synopsis: You and your annoyingly adorable boyfriend Jisung move off to university, to make new friends, find a calling and learn how to live on your own for the very first time in your lives.

Check Chapter Overview for complete list of warnings

Note: I first thought of this story about a year and a half ago. I didn't feel ready at the time, but as I got better over the years, I picked this story up again. Updates might be slow, so bear with me please

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Please don't flag as mature or repost this story - Thank You!

You, 6 years ago, wouldn’t have bought this romantic af, straight out of a fairy-tale storyline.

You going to University? With the love of your life? Like the picture-perfect couple, smiles glued to your face? Nuh-uh. Not you. Not in this lifetime and most likely not in the next dozen—if you ever were so unlucky.

Family, love, college. All of it was bullshit. Temporary.

Nothing good ever lasted. If anything, a dark twist was already lurking around the next corner at any given moment. You couldn’t imagine a dimension in which you were ever happy. Let alone content.

Your 14-year-old emo self would never grow out of the jet-black hair. Or the countless piercings decorating your face. Or those cole-coloured ripped skinny jeans you wore like a second skin. So much you knew. Past-you only ever wanted to gloom through life in a hazy blur. Depressed about My Chemical Romance breaking up and all the other hardships life had already put you through.

That girl would have despised who you had become. Hair grown back to its natural colour. Wearing shirts without some underground metal band’s logo printed on the front. That girl would have likely made fun of you for even thinking about grades. And your future? If you ever had one, your 14-year-old self knew it would include nothing but darkness and despair.

Every teenager around you went through that phase, though you were sure it was more than that. A phase. A short and survivable part of your story. You fully and whole-heartedly believed nothing would ever change about your attitude towards life. It couldn’t, not after everything that had happened.

Overcoming that horrible chapter of your life seemed unimaginable. That you even got the chance to reach out and grab your future by its horns only had one reason. One person who was to become the most meaningful part of your life. Of the same future, he was the reason you even considered having.

Han Jisung.

A boy of innocence and noisy introversion. A boy who, despite having lived through similar trauma as yourself, had a will for life toxic enough to capture you. A boy who you became sure was the closest thing to a soulmate you would ever find.

No one could have prepared you for how hard you’d fall for Jisung. You loved him at his best, worst, and everything between. And you had fallen in love with him despite his lousy sense of humour and silly persona. Or maybe, you had fallen for him because of it. Because he had a similar story to yours but an opposite look at it.

Your 14-year-old, always-depressed, doom-certain-self could have never imagined being with someone like him. Let alone being head-over.heels. All while doing what? Watching him do something so mediocre and none-life changing as buying toothbrushes?

“I don’t know. Which ones do you think?”

Jisung presented you two indistinguishable packs of toothbrushes, waking you from your daydream. Thus, the blurriness faded and your eyes focused on the tiny words on each cover.

“These,” you decided on the left option. “Those bristles are too hard for your gums.”

“Oh, we definitely can’t have that.” With a dramatically disgusted expression, he returned the wrong set to its place on the shelf. “I want to keep at least some of my teeth.”

“Thankfully,” you agreed with a snicker. His words cracked you up more than they should have.

No doubt, your 14-year-old self would have hated yourself six years later.

“Okay. What else is on that magic list of yours?”

“Microwave popcorn and some instant ramen. And we should get some notebooks and highlighters for tomorrow. That’s it.” You listed the remaining articles off the slip of paper while crossing out the products you had retrieved from the hygiene section. “Should we split up?”

“Nah. That’s how they die in horror movies. And I’m not going out in the food court of a 7/11.”

“Fair. How about the Back-to-School aisle then?”

Jisung pondered his reply as he wandered past toothpaste and mouthwash. “Too many pens for people to draw penises on my face. The cleaning section, however? That’s a whole other conversation.”

“How come?”

“Well, there’s bleach and mops already. Also, buckets. So they can simply wheel my corpse away.”

As you walked by the pasta and other canned foods, you picked up a tray of ramen each. For convenience, if anything. Had it not been for the thinness of your wallet, you would have gone for fresher produce. So much for independent living.

With an intensive focus on your absurd conversation—Jisung listing places he would most likely die in if he were a character in a horror movie—you didn’t notice a tray of stacked goods blocking the path. It wasn’t until you bumped your shin on the square-edged tower that you finally took notice.

As a wave of pain swallowed your leg, you left out a shriek. “Gosh freakin’ dang it!”

“You good, baby?” His concern was genuine, though he couldn’t help smiling at your desperate attempt not to swear. “Let me see.”

Jisung kneeled in front of you, noticing a reddening wound once he had dragged the jean fabric up your leg.

“Just a bruise.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one feeling like your skin is being dragged off your flesh.”

“No. But I can make it better.”

He rose to his feet, arms hugging your frame as he picked you up without any effort. You giggled as he heaved you into the cart, careful not to squish the food.

“What are you doing?”

“No girlfriend of mine should have to walk when she’s in pain,” Jisung explained, helping you get settled. Pushing the crushable goods out of the way, you sat on the cans. Not the most comfortable seating, but it worked, nevertheless.

“Damn, those other girls are lu-cky.”

Jisung was pleased at how casually you had joined in on his joke. A smile formed on his lips as he pushed you along the shelves of seasonal produce.

You soon reached the Back-to-School aisle. There you took your sweet time deciding on notebook formats and highlighter colours. It kept surprising you how much fun it was to go grocery shopping when done with the right people. Everything was about 50 percent less boring because of Jisung. Jisung and his ability to find something ridiculous in anything and everything.

After you had made some other critical decisions—like which folders would make organising the year easiest, the ones with dogs or flowers in front—you finished up your school-supply-run.

When you reached the cash register, you noticed the strange looks the other customers gave you. Two young adults strolling through a supermarket, pushing each other in grocery carts? Definitely side-eye-worthy.

Maybe you would have cared more had you not been so enticed by Jisung’s mindless humming of Can’t Take My Eyes Off You.

“What?” Jisung questioned your glances as he started unloading the items from the cart.

“Nothing.” You joined him, unloading all the trays of food you had picked minutes earlier. “This feels weird. Going grocery shopping together. Feels grown-up somehow.”

“We go grocery shopping once a week,” he declared with a thoughtful pout.

“But that’s different.”

After you had emptied out your purchase, he wheeled you further down the band. The woman behind the cash register seemed equally interested in you as all the customers. Soon enough, she continued doing her job.

“You mean because we didn’t have to pay for it ourselves?” He held his hand to his heart as if heartbroken. “I miss your dad, too. Always so kind, paying for all our stuff.”

You chuckled at his playful sincerity.

“No, idiot.” As Jisung reloaded the cart, you payed for this week’s necessities. “Because we’re grocery shopping on our own, living off at uni. We have officially moved out of our home, living in the big city. It’s— new. That’s it.”

As soon as you had reached the exit, you picked reached for the strawberries, unable to abstain any longer. Strolling towards his car, you handed one over to your boyfriend while sucking on your own. Like the gentleman he was, Jisung helped you jump from the car and you packed everything into the trunk.

Once you had placed the cart back by the others, you finally headed home. Or rather, the dorm room you would be living in for the next four years.

You weren’t at that point of calling it your home yet.

A comfortable silence surrounded you throughout your drive. It remained while you stacked away your half of the food back at your place and lasted until you finished. This sort of silence wasn’t uncommon these many years into your relationship—you hardly noticed it anymore.

“Man, all this talk about horror movies makes me want to watch one.” That you hadn’t mentioned this topic for over 30 minutes seemed irrelevant.

“But you’re horrible with horror movies,” you pointed out.

“Not when you’re there to protect me.”

An hour later you were sprawled out on your bed, the last sweet strawberry long gone.

With your legs entangled, Jisung’s face rested on your chest as you massaged his scalp. After minutes of fruitless discussion, Spiderman was now webbing his way through your laptop screen. In the end, it really didn’t matter what movie was playing. It never did as long as you were with each other.

Not even 20 minutes into the movie, Jisung had fallen asleep on top of you. His faint snoring was now mere background noise as you followed the plot, ehich wasn’t as simple as it sounded. Your energy was more than drained from running around all day.

Only three days ago, you had still been back home. Packing for your upcoming move to a new city, two hours from every place you had grown up in. The one thing keeping you calm throughout the stress was your sweetheart-boyfriend. To no one’s surprise. He was the only person able to keep you sane when all you wanted was to scream and cry. Had you not had him by your side, you would have drowned in all the noise your brain usually produced.

His ability to calm your nerves when you needed him to—know when to make you laugh or when to distract you from your everyday stresses—surprised you to this day. You couldn’t begin to explain how you had been lucky enough to find someone like him. Someone you loved as much as you had seen your parents do when you were younger. Let alone how he loved you the same way, almost self-destructively so.

Your 14-year-old self would have called bs. But that girl was someone else—you, but in another lifetime. You but pre-Jisung.

When the door to your room rushed open, it pulled you from your quiet slumber. You had turned off the lights earlier to set the mood but still knew the intruder was your roommate. Besides you two, only Jisung knew the code to your dorm—a decision you had previously discussed with your new roomie, of course. Seeing as he was knocked out on top of you, you could cross him off your list of possible visitors at 8 pm on a Monday.

Adapting her eyes to the darkness, she checked her surroundings before tiptoeing into the room. The light remained off as she expected you to be asleep.

“Hey,” you greeted the dark-haired beauty, making her jump in surprise at the sudden noise.

“Fu—God! You scared me.” With one hand over her heart, your roomie calmed herself from your unexpected jump-scare. Once her heart rate had settled, she slipped out of her heels and left them by the end of her bed. “Is he asleep?”

“Yeah,” you confirmed, letting your finger run along his jaw to check. He didn’t move, so you knew he was most likely out for the night. “Long night?”

She gagged with an eye roll, pulling her jeans off her legs and exchanging them for grey sweatpants. “Don’t get me started. I haven’t even started writing my thesis, and it’s already kicking my ass.”

You watched her as she also changed out of her dress shirt and into an off-the-shoulder crop top. She slipped into a pair of sneakers while making her way to her dresser where she sprayed herself in a cloud of perfume.

“You’re leaving again?”

“Yup. I spent so much time at the library today, I apparently neglected,” she air-quoted with an eye roll, “my girlfriend. At least that’s what she said.”

“The things we do to keep our loved ones happy.”

“Exactly.” Unleashing her long curls from a tight ponytail, she ran her fingers through them for a few seconds. Her beach-waves veiled her face, so she pushed them behind her ears to instead frame her near-perfect features. “Anyway, I’m staying at hers tonight, so don’t wait up for me.”

“Okay,” you agreed with a yawn, your roommate replying with a deep chuckle.

The past few days, you had mainly spent in your new room, settling in and getting ready for the start of the semester. You liked planning ahead, knowing your life was organised to a T, so you could focus on the important stuff. Your studies, and your boyfriend.

Your roommate seemed to have most of the same priorities. She had gone out every night since you moved in, be it to study at the library or spend some time with her better half. However she managed to squeeze in all the partying? You had no clue. You could only hope some of her togetherness rubbed off on you. But then again, never judge a book.

“I’m going to take you out one of these days. You are not going to be sitting inside all year. Not on my watch.”

Spending the first two days inside, you must have looked like the biggest couch potato ever.

“Sounds good.”

As she waltzed towards the door, you grabbed her attention one last time. The hallway lights blinded you with their brightness, framing her curves in a halo.

“Oh, and Hwasa?” She turned to face you, looking like she had jumped straight off a Vogue cover. How she did that without trying was a mystery to you. “Can you not tell Wheein he’s sleeping over? I wouldn’t want my first warning on the third day already.”

“Babe, as long as you’re my roommate, my dorm-supervisor-girlfriend won’t dare write you up. Just don’t set anything on fire, and you’re solid.”

With that, she waved goodbye, leaving you and your boyfriend alone. Well, apart from the ever-so-handsome Tom Holland, who somehow made full-body suits look like a reasonable choice of clothing.

Not soon after, your eyes fell close, sending you off into a deep rest.

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lightlycareless · 10 months

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Chapter 36 - thoughts.

Hello everyone!

Back at it again with chapter 36’s notes! Of course, if you want to avoid spoilers I recommend reading the chapter (found right over here) first. Also, I skipped chapter 35’s notes because I didn’t think there was much to say… or if there was, it would be too short for me to make a post. However, if there’s something you’d like for me to expand on that chapter I’ll gladly oblige! My ask box is always open ❤️

As always, major spoilers underneath the cut, as well as no proofreading, or very minimal. All candid you know lol.

Now, without further ado, here are the notes!

This chapter was meant to clarify or deepen the motivations behind some of the characters :> uncover the continuous mystery surrounding Minako’s and Tomoko’s absence, their relationship with their family, and one thing I’ve been wanting to explore about jujutsu (which I’m not done with hehe) however, I did face some difficulties, mainly because of the timeline and if the stories were tragic enough HAHAHA.

But anyways, let’s start with the hardships.

The timeline, a.k.a how old were Y/N and Naoya when their respective mothers died. Now, I don’t like setting down dates because I feel like once you take that commitment, there’s no going back 😂. And there’s too many things I want to explore to reduce them into dates, so I tend to leave them open-ended.

However, with Y/N I did have some guidelines. It was important for me to keep Minako’s death occurring after ’98, and all because I said she was very supporting of Ren when Ginger Spice left the Spice Girls 😭 not them influencing my fic once again 😂 that, and because I didn't envision her being present in the high school era of their kids.

Taking all of this into consideration, her death would've to occur inbetween 99-01. The latest would make Y/N roughly 10 years old, Hinata 12, Ren 14. Very young to lose a mother, indeed.

As for Naoya, I just needed him to be old enough to remember Tomoko, but not that old for Mariya and the gang to remember her. Out of the two, she would have to be the most mysterious one, considering nobody wants to talk about, (I wouldn't be surprised if the members of the estate didn't know when she was last seen) one could even say she’s more of a legend at this point, impossible to prove or disprove.

I think the one that knows/remembers most of her had to be Junko, considering how she was trained to be Ogi’s wife or whatever bullshit by her. Naobito can’t be bothered to remember his own wife, not even after the 6 kids she gave him, although he is the kind of person to compare “his ex” with his partners, saying how she was prettier or some other bs, or even look for said partners who kind of resemble her. At least her memories live on with him like that jfc what am I even saying.

Anywayssssss

I think that out of the two, Tomoko’s story was the most tragic. In the way that she was essentially doomed from the very moment Naobito set eyes on her. I don’t think she ever imagined the things she would have to go through. Maybe the kid part she had an idea, but the rest? Nah, no amount of indoctrination could ever prepare her for that.

The more depth I give her, the more realize how truly alone she is, like it physically pained me to have to write how Tomoko could only trust her children (and not even all of them); she probably couldn’t even rely on Junko for anything. Now that it’s been brought up, Tomoko probably asked Junko’s favorite flowers to be planted as a way to show sorority, reach out to her, but it flew past her. I don’t doubt she desperately tried to reach out to her family too, only to be told to “suck it up” and that this is the best thing to happen in their life, so she better not ruin it.

Once again, the Zen’in dynamic is heavily inspired by the Todoroki fam lol Tomoko must be Rei around the time she burnt Shoto. I’m glad to say that it didn’t go to those extremes but had Naoya not said anything… who knows what might’ve happened. Even as disgusting as he’d become, I’m glad his child-self didn’t get attacked like that.

Another point I wanted to explore about her was her dynamic with the rest of her kids. If I had to put like a list of her most to least liked kids, Naoaki would be the first, from there Naofumi, Naohiko, Naosuke, Naohito, and finally, Naoya.

Naoaki is mainly because he was her first child, back then when she was still… “ok”, and even with the environment she had to raise him, she still cared for him and was very involved in his upbringing, as much as she could anyways.

Because he was the oldest one, the most “mature one” thanks to his crude childhood, Tomoko felt she could confide in him, but that relationship didn’t flourish until he was replaced by Naoya.

I swear, Tomoko must’ve been the kind of mother that unintentionally pitted her children against each other and spoke badly of their father to them by saying things (mainly to Naoaki) like “I don’t know what your father is thinking about, you’re clearly much better than Naoya” and “You were never as impolite as him” and so on and so forth. She might’ve also been blunt about how Naobito doesn’t seem to like them, but that “didn't matter” because she does. (OK Tomoko, not sure they wanted to hear the first part but aight)

She tried being a good mother, she really did. But her environment, alongside the critical pregnancies she had finally took a toll on her mental health, and it led her to take it out on Naoya—I believe the best way to describe what she was feeling was postpartum depression, but considering how grave it was and the problems she had with her previous pregnancies, it was more likely postpartum psychosis.

The Zen’in strike me as the kind of family that doesn’t believe in mental health—less if it comes from women, I shouldn’t be surprised they thought Tomoko as simply “emotional” instead of having an actual condition that needed treatment. Oh no, the Zen’in shooting themselves on the foot once again? Who could've seen this coming?!

Naoya unfortunately became the outlet of Tomoko’s suffering, which started as soon as she gave birth to him and held him—she looked at that poor baby and something inside her snapped. Something like “you’re the child these bastards were looking for, you’re the reason why I had to suffer so much.”

Also, I don’t know if anyone remembers one post a long time ago, where I said I was watching the movie Hereditary and was like “Huh, inspiring.”

I meant this scene. Except that Tomoko (or at least that’s what I understood from the mom’s “disdain” for the kid—of course, that was just one issue of the many they had lol) didn’t feel sorry for Naoya and the life he was going to be put through, but rather all that she had to endure to conceive him. Can’t blame her, it was tough… I just wished none of them had to become her victims too.

That, and essentially Azula from Avatar, that one scene where she’s like “my own mother thought I was a monster” goddamn if that isn’t painful—it made you feel bad for her, even with her craziness, she just wanted a mother 😭 unnghhhh not me trying to redeem Naoya!!!! (more like make him… human)

Her absence was definitely the major point as to why Naoya turned out to be the way he did. With her gone, the last “happy” (let’s put it that way) thing inside the Zen’in was completely eradicated. Even if Naoya didn’t get to interact much with her, just by seeing her by afar he probably would’ve been like, wait…. What is… that—get a reference on how not to be an absolute, indisputable piece of shit.

He would’ve still turned to be a jackass, but maybe not that bad? Idk, people can have two parents and still turn batshit crazy.

Now, this also served to justify his womanizing ways lol. I don’t know why the fandom decided that was to be one of his traits (which I don’t mind I guess), considering he’s insufferable, but after watching one of my favorite youtuber’s expand on someone who behaved a similar way, I was like DAMN is that Naoya.

People tend to seek attention through various ways, and for Naoya that would be in countless women. It’s peak mommy issues, I know, but in his defense… don’t we all have parent issues 😭? Anyways, Naoya tried to search for that one person that would cherish/love him unconditionally, someone that made him truly special, saw for who he was and not for what he had… (can you believe I based that “you’re my favorite child because you’re the most talented one” line FROM A GODDAM DOUJINSHI? I won’t go into details, but it’s a certain obnoxious, irritating heir from a prestigious clan and his renegade cousin HAHAHAHAHH)

I mean, I get it, but what was Naoya expecting to find by flaunting his wealth in order to meet people? Not to say that everyone is like that but come on lol. And he wasn’t even selective about them either? He would just go with the one he considered attractive/convincing enough and hoped for the best, I guess? He became pickier further down the road (aw, Naoya eventually learned to be choosy lol) stopping only, of course, when he eventually met his beloved Y/N :> Just another tease for their first meeting (I feel like I’m hyping this too much, I hope it ain’t disappointing when it finally appears on the story)

Well, even if he cares for Y/N, he still takes a lot from Naobito. He’s lucky Y/N is essentially trapped with him because she would’ve left the moment she could—she’s not like Tomoko, she still has someone to support her so… the clock is ticking Naoya.

Now onto the other BS family, the L/N.

This is the part I liked the most, because it’s more inclined to the whole “expanding how jujutsu can be used” kind of thing.

I already knew that Minako was going to… die like that and was looking forward to expanding on it when it finally came to it. (I just know that Ren, Hinata, and Y/N would hate this one vine with a burning passion—Gojo is the one to show it to them and they will beat his ass) doubling down when the whole culling games arc thingy happened on the manga, I was like DAMN so that’s what Kenjaku was doing? What was going to happen with Tsumiki? oohoHOHOHO, although I don’t think both things could relate considering the timeline and the requirements to mark them… or who knows? I don’t remember if it was specified when Kenjaku started marking people, or if Tsumiki and the rest of the victims were the first ones. (there’s allot of things that don’t make sense to me 😭 and I haven’t kept up with the manga tbh)

Well, it didn’t stop me from going on with my plan, and thus I began to torture Y/N and her family.

The reason why Minako got cursed… was easy: because some sorcerers were jealous/desperate to get to her. After seeing how strong her kids were, they thought “well maybe we can kidnap her and use her” but after that proved to be a failure, they decided “if we can’t have her, no one can.”

It’s really sick to know that, but with a crazy-ass community as the one the jujutsu world has… I really couldn’t think of anything else. I mean, the Kamo’s…

Anyways, I always wondered what it meant to be haunted in this universe. Once again, I don’t remember if it was ever mentioned/shown (outside of haunting places) so I had to exploit that to my advantage.

I know curses are seen by sorcerers, but I like to think that those powerful enough, maybe having a set goal/victim/target manage to become invisible to everyone but them—either by sheer determination or something lol. No, but really, that must depend on the level/power/talent of the sorcerer that begins the haunting as well as the curse, and if they’re really powerful they might be able to zero-in on their victim completely untraceable, God help if the person isn’t a sorcerer. Like, no one will be able to feel a curse is nearby.

Because it takes great skill (to pass undetected), only a handful can perform the ritual it takes to haunt someone, making it a dangerous practice. I’d like to believe it was eventually forbidden at one point, thus destroying all records showing how to do so.

And because I want to, there are levels of haunts too hehehe, here are the ones I can think of right now:

Those to harass. Self-explanatory, they’re just there to bother, and depending on the intention, they might hurt too.

Those to influence. Do someone else’s bidding, an additional voice for your conscience. The victim might think it’s them thinking such thoughts and enact them on their own within time. They’re fully conscious of what’s happening, might question if they truly want to do that, but they go through with it anyways.

Those to control. Take full control of their body and conscience. It’s the harsher one of the three to do (as well as difficult to trace), because its success greatly depends on the will of the victim. If the victim is strong-willed the haunt might take some time to work, if at all, and depending on the curse, it might find ways to debilitate them to ease their entrance. Once controlled, the victim will not remember anything that happened until after, rarely are they conscious during the act.

Minako was affected by the last one—however, it didn’t go as successfully as the perpetrator wanted because I like to imagine that since the OG rituals were wiped out, the only thing that managed to survive (if anything) were pieces here and there of information, leaving the rest to the imagination haha.

It’s why Minako was still able to fight it off a bit, and remember some things. But yeah, someone was intending to take control of her—and she was fighting that person (as shown by those allegedly senseless conversations) to stay away from her, but in the end she succumbed.

Omg I just thought… what if Minako, upon noticing the curse user’s intentions, decided to sabotage her body??????????????? Stop eating so they wouldn’t control her? Omg………………………………………………………………………………………………

But of course, the notes are here to give closure on some things, so… even with Minakos’ strong will, the curse managed to inflict enough damage on her, the result of those actions being the marks on across her body, setting her up to be controlled.

I gotta say, even though the L/N are absolute, always-wrong, pieces of poop, they did the right thing by “killing” Minako during this stage, because the next thing would’ve been the curse controlling her.

The rumor of them being the ones responsible of her death is nasty. But not so crazy, considering the elders really did not like Minako for something that wasn’t even her responsibility, but try convincing these “old-style” bastards out of it…

Writing this made me think of a question idk if anyone wondered lol considering these rituals were “banned” it would make sense someone would try to report them to HQ right? or if it’s something new, never-seen before… right?

Well, Eiichi tried, but without solid evidence, it could easily just be a rumor—and a waste of time/money to pursue. He was very angry with that, believe me, and scolded the elders for wasting an opportunity to prevent another family from suffering the same.

However, if they had been responsible of that… they obviously wouldn’t rat out the person that helped them.

Omg…. What if in the au where Toji takes Naoaki’s role or so, he was taking jobs on the side, shady ones, and he was actually involved in Minako’s death (to not say he was the one responsible)?????????????????????????????????????????????????? that might be the point where she starts to look at Naoya under a different light lol.

But yeah, going back to the actual story, gee, what an entanglement, truly. F the jujutsu community.

The following point is the deepening of the relationship of the main branch, a.k.a Eiichi, Minako, and all them kids.

I always envisioned all of the kids being super close to Minako, and not because they disliked Eiichi (he was a good dad—just… awkward lol. Uncool, and just how Posh Spice would say... yeah, poor Eiichi 😂. He’s definitely an avid practitioner of dad-jokes) but because his duties often kept them apart; he tried his best to be present, but it’s hard sometimes.

They all loved them kids tho, but because of particular reasons I will disclose later, that being now, Y/N was the favorite one. After Hinata and Ren filled the L/N clan’s expectations, it essentially allowed Y/N to have allot of free time with her parents, so they were able to dote on her more frequently.

It just made me wonder how much Y/N had to train in order to keep up with them (specially Hinata) since she wasn’t a priority when it came to her jujutsu education—I’m sure they all did what they could so she wouldn’t be left behind, but more likely than not she did lots of self-learning.

I really liked the opportunity this chapter gave me to deepen Ren’s, Hinata’s, and Eiichi’s motivations. I swear to God their subconscious took Y/N’s abducting as “yet again, another sorcerer (clan) trying to hurt our family”

Of course this was enough for them to snap, but they all reacted differently.

Because Eiichi felt completely alone without Minako, it was easier for him to be manipulated by the Zen’in (allegedly AHAHAH) and because they were so aggressive about it, he genuinely thought Y/N would be much better with them than him continuing to resist, so there’s that—but if it’s worth anything, he’s deeply regretful for having succumbed and there’s not a day where he doesn’t believe Minako is cursing him from heaven. Of course, those thoughts come more to him while he’s drunk, another consequence of having lost her. He was an occasional drinker, mostly social, but his grief certainly took him to that point.

Ren was probably the most aware one when his mom got sick, and thus, the one that probably felt the most responsible. Going on and on about how he was supposed to be a sorcerer, just a few years away from entering jujutsu high, and yet didn’t figure out his mother was being haunted/cursed. The guilt inside him was so big, he had to get out of the house as quickly as possible—one of the many reasons why he decided to study in Kyoto at first, only coming back later when he grew disappointed by the environment there (which just made him remember of the elders of his clan he hates so much) and missed his family, so he eventually returned. It was kind of a “well, if I’m going to be angry all the time, I’d rather be angry with my family around.”

Hinata also felt very, very guilty for what happened to Minako, mainly because of her cursed technique. She went through a phase of constantly demeaning herself, calling herself “inept” or “stupid” because her technique is supposed to protect the user/target from those kinds of attacks—this led her to become far more… involved/creative with her technique, trying to exploit her limits as much as she could to prevent something like this ever escaping her attention.

Y/N felt the most isolated, because she heavily relied on being with someone, (thanks to the elders being nasty with her ugh) you know? Someone to support her. The rest tend to deal with their own things by themselves, and while they still supported each other, it wasn’t the same. I guess that’s the reason why she was so excited to attend jujutsu high, only to be left virtually alone when the whole crisis thing happened and no new students were enrolling, worsening when Naoya decided to further isolate her from the rest of the world when marrying her. Her getting heavily attached to Naoaki, Mariya and the gang, Mai and Maki, shouldn’t be a surprise at this point. Specially Naoaki nnnhhhhggghhhhhh.

I know there were different expectations for this chapter, mainly because we’ve been desperately hoping for the moment Naoya and Y/N will finally talk lol. And I gotta say I might’ve disappointed some by how she essentially ran away… but I promise it will be worth it in the end lol Y/N running out on him like that is good I believe, cause she’s shocked that Naoya is actually capable of feeling anything else, but you know, pure evil.

These two chapters were mostly intended to show the human side of Naoya, Y/N’s reaction to it and just how similar their backgrounds were when it came to their mother's.... but with outcomes so different.

To give him emotions (and show how he handles them—terribly. I mean, he got sick!! HAHAH it’s like that one episode in atla where Zuko is good for the first time in his life and gets sick) and maybe deepen their relationship. It helps that Y/N is very empathetic to those around her… but it’ll be up to her and how he decides to act during this time if something happens between the two.

I gotta say, if I play my cards right, I think we’re like 3 chapters away from that one chapter I’VE BEEN WAITING TO WRITE FOR FOREVER I SWEAR ALL THIS SLOW BURN WILL BE WORTH IT. :> But until then…

Thank you so much for coming for a new update!!!! I know I’ve been taking quite the hiatus here and there, but it does not mean I don’t find importance in this fic, and the support you’ve given me 🥺❤️ Thank you so much for being patient with me! Can’t wait to show what’s coming next!!

As always, these are just important parts I remember as highly influential for the chapter, but if there's something you'd like to know more about don't hesitate to let me know!! I'll do my best to respond ❤️

Now, take care, have a wonderful week, and hope to see all of you soon!!

#thought series: first it hurts—#naoya zenin #naoya zen'in #naoya x reader #naoya zenin x reader #naoya zenin x your #jjk naoya #naoya zen'in x reader

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sailorwritesstuff · 2 years

Note

could you do hcs or a short story for like meeting erica during s3 abd being part of the scoops troop then being like her older friend/ sister figure? (platonic)

Jesus Christ. I wrote this entire thing and it got fucking deleted when I got a phone call.

Edit: NO ONE WAS GOING TO CORRECT ME WHEN I SAID PLANT INSTEAD OF PLANNED?!?!

Platonic Erica Sinclair x older friend!reader.

Warning: brief mention of death, Russian, reader faking submission??

Translation: ОСТАНОВКА - STOP | кто ты? -who are you? | не русский (ne russkiy) - not Russian.

Let's start this off by saying Erica likes you the most because you were definitely the most prepared to go do some Russian fuck shit.

You were dragged into the whole thing by Robin

You had been planning on staying in for the day because it was hot and you knew that the new mall would be packed

Until you get a phone call from your best friend on a public phone.

Robin ask you plain and simple if you wanted to go do some "spy shit"

Of course like a normal 16 year old you've got shy shit with like spying on her Crush or sneaking into a restricted area of the mall.

Definitely not speaking into a Russian secret operation.

So you had some good things on you water enough snacks for two people and flashlights

Of course Erica likes you immediately more than everyone else.

"it's not my fault the only two and a half of us have brains" "Erica!" "what? it's just the facts!"

You take to Erica almost immediately maybe it was because she was a small child who seemed to need to be protected and whatever bullshit was going on

Or maybe it was just one of those friendships

"Erica don't drink that." "Come here I have something granola."

She also thinks you're pretty badass after she watched you pepper spray a Russian guard.

"you know for what it's worth I actually think My Little pony makes you super cool and not a nerd"

"THANK YOU."

"Now that math thing? That's total nerd."

"I take it back fuck you. "

To be honest after it was all over and neither of you really expected to see each other again. You weren't exactly in the same social circles

And then 3 days after "the fire" you get a phone call while you're home.

"hello?" "Erica?" "Do you still want to go get that cheese burger?"

She tells you about these nightmares she's been having about everything. Constant what ifs of if she could have died, the image of Steve bloody, the look of horror on Lucas's friend Max's face after it was all over. She tells you she had a dream about you getting hurt. And that she got your number from talking it out of problem to talk to you.

And soon you became a fixture in her life

Like Dustin and Steve 2.0

"Erica! Y/n is here!!"

"ready to roll?"

"Yep!"

This was not how you planned on spending your weekend. Stuck in a secret Russian tunnel with a 10 and 14-year-old? Nah ah.

"ОСТАНОВКА!" The phase made all three of you stopped in your tracks. "кто ты?"

Now was not a good time to not speak Russian, you conclude in your head slowly you lean forward low enough for Dustin and Erica to hear your whispers.

"I'm going to do something really fucking stupid and when it happens I need you too to run as fast as your little legs can go....do you...understand?"

"wha-" Dustin starts but you turn around and raise your hands up your side slowly digging a container from your back pocket and sliding it up the sleeve of your jacket as you raise your hands so that the guard can see can see you as no threat you slowly walk forward and say "uh...I'm so sorry sir." As you look at the man much bigger than you standing with an iron inside face.

"кто ты?" He repeats and slowly you start to remember helping Robin learn Russian small phrases that don't really make any sense to you come to mind as faked here spring to your eyes and you pout.

"n-ne... rus-skiy" you stare at him with wide eyes dropping you hands to your hang in front of you in hopes of it making you look smaller and getting small tube of pepper spray fall into your hand.

"how do you get here?" He asked in broken English and you began wiping over your fake tears for catching him off guard with pepper spray straight to the eyes.

Before bolting down the hall towards the kids. "GO. GO. GO. NOW!" You grab Erica's small hands pulling her quicker down the hall. "THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED TO SPEND MY SATURDAY."

"YOU ARE SO AWESOME!" Erica whisper shouts at you as you run away from your problem.

"thanks kid." You say ducking down a empty hallway. "After this is all over remind me to buy you a good old fashioned American cheeseburger for the compliment. Now let's find Robin and Steve and get the FUCK out of here."

#sailor writes stuff #scoop troop #scoops ahoy #stranger things x reader #platonic x reader #erica sinclair #platonic erica Sinclair x reader #erica sinclair x reader #erica sinclair angst #Erica Sinclair fluff #Platonic Henderson x reader #Steve Harrington #robin buckley #Dustin Henderson

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goatpaste · 2 years

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It's WILD how the impression of Stephen Steel goes from "get away from Lucy right now I am going to MURDER you" to "OH so he's actually the only motherfucker out here that's actually protecting her in a meaningful and non-creepy way, ok, wish we'd cleared that up earlier" in about .25 seconds

i GUESS

i still wish he would get away from her tbh

im really not into that narrative. its some of the biggest bullshit iv ever heard araki try and pull

and there is still the fact that he sees her and is reminded of his childhood love. and then they call each other pet names and kiss and im like

it just didnt need to be like that? im still uncomfortable about it

steel had money?? WHY not just buy her off the mafia?? why have to make this whole fucking story up to fit this angle? why could lucy have just been a bit older

i also dont think Lucy's being sold to the mafia backstory is even fucking necessary. it doesn't feel like brings ANYTHING to the table except for araki to built some nonsense narrative for why he decided lucy and steel should be married with a fuckin HUGE age gap.

why couldnt they just been normal buddies. like lucy even just a fwe years older working for steel after giving him the idea for the race and finding out her family was in money troubles. So he helps them out and gives lucy a steady job working for him while he prepares for this huge competition! them being goofy friends woulda been sweet!

but im still just uncomftorable about the whole thing

and the narrative skewing it as, he isnt even the father of her and shit but their connection is deeper their friendship and also this 14 year old is like a mother to this 50 year old man, doesnt sit right with me either

i KNOW this is this parts excuse to make it not as gross or whatever. i GET that but i really hate it. im sorry but its bad writing that brought nothing but another uncomfortable asset to Lucy's story.

#steel ball run spoilers

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slashertempo · 2 years

Video

youtube

I remember one of the last concerts I went to, and probably why I haven't gone to any since. It was November 14, 1992, and it was at Angel Stadium in Anaheim to see U2. My best friend and his girl... Myself and my girlfriend, one of my favorite nights hanging out with her, ever. Say what you want about U2, I don't care... but going to one of their shows, could be an overwhelming experience if you're not ready. I had seen them a couple of times before, this was her first, Seeing U2 live can be a powerful moment, teetering on the verge of something spiritual. If not because of the band and the music, more so because of the crowd. We both enjoyed the entire night, the music, the production, and it was at the moment when the entire crowd bursts into singalong, and every light in the stadium came up, and you realize you're singing along with almost 50,000 of your neighbors... Grand moments like that can fill you with joy, elation, and even fall in love. Maybe with the person next to you, or someone you miss, life in general, maybe all those people in the crowd. I remember her hanging on my shoulder, desperately, overwhelmed, in tears, taken by the moment, squeezing my arm, as if one of us were leaving. We were silly about each other, and back then we wanted it to go on forever. I still hear Bono telling everyone goodbye, just like in this video, no one wanted him to go...

I lost her years later. She fell into a dark place and the drug became more important than the light we shared. I had kicked it all before and stuck to being strong, she caved and left everything to be what she wanted, and it was gone. I've never felt that kind of love, since losing her when I did. Since then, I kind of fell apart, for a long time. I let so may other things take over and destroy me. Tried to trust someone later, and had that crushed. Deeper I fell.

I have spent the last 15 years going up and down in my emotions, and let them get the best of me. I work on trying to find a better way, sifting through it all and moving on. It's working out, and going great! I'm finding peace with a lot of what has hurt me in my past and with my family. And instead of feeling hurt missing old moments like this, I've found a way to smile at them, and wanting more of them to happen. Maybe that night is one of the many seeds planted, that put me in this place today. And perhaps learning about my own fears and desires, is helping me get back to wanting more. Everyone has some version of help they think they can give, and they're all wrong. They have no clue and their pain isn't yours. We all have to figure our bullshit out in our own ways, and I'm doing that. I'm changing, I'm going forward, and allowing myself to do things I pushed out a long time ago. I'm excited about many things again, preparing myself to experience more joy and happiness, instead of finding reasons to feel undeserving and avoid them.

This song has a lot in common with 'Love Will Tear Us Apart' by Joy Division (Bono likes to sing LWTUA in the middle of this song, sometimes), they're both about throwing yourself into a love despite everything else around you suggesting otherwise. About banking on yourself that everything is going to go your way, even at the odds of the other person not feeling the same. When everything around you feels like it's coming apart, maybe sometimes throwing yourself into your heart fully, could be the best way out, even if you have to keep trying. Right now, I'm just trying to find my new directions, and see where I want to throw my heart. And I'm excited about that.

A lot of this writing is usually just me thinking out loud and not stopping. I just type to see where I'm going in my head. A psychiatrist suggested it, and my therapist encourages more. It does me some good to look back on a lot of it. And I do it here in hopes that maybe someone could use the perspective, or so friends know what I'm up to. Maybe some of this will fit into something larger someday that I can look back on. Today, I heard the song and had some thoughts I wanted to work on...

#youtube #u2 #with or without you #love #mental health #spiritual #music

0 notes

nomenomens · 2 years

Text

Nomen

Chapter VI - Lost It All

CW: none for now, but please, consult 'About Nomen' for more informations.

WC: around 2200 words

Previous Chapter: V - First Love/Late Spring

Next Chapter: VII - Be My Mistake (No. 1 Party Anthem)

Masterlist

************************************************************************************************************************************************

July 19, almost eight years ago

It has been 10 days since I came back and there was no sign of him. My London stalker. Or my brother. That encounter distressed me a lot and not only because of how he hugged me or his gentle behaviour or his confused speech. What I found astounding was my reaction. I wasn’t able to react as I should’ve and, on top of that, I believed him. I wanted to see him and talk with him because the look in his eyes suggested me he was being sincere, even if what he told me sounded like bullshit. That day I was home alone until late afternoon so I wanted to make some research in my family’s photo album. He said he knew me and we even played together when I was four and I had a lot of photos of my infancy: if he was sincere, I would’ve probably found out. I wasn’t a chatty child, so my parents made sure to photograph almost every friend of mine, like it was a milestone to celebrate. Like photos could confirm that I wasn’t weird, I was selective but still able to make friends. I was leafing through the pages, remembering some of my happiest memories when I suddenly stopped. I closed the album. It couldn’t be.

Actually, I realized I wanted it to be true, just so I could tell myself that my instincts were right, that me believing him wasn’t wrong, that my blood had immediately recognized him as my brother. At the same time, I sensed fear getting the best of me, flowing all over my body. I opened the album again, to confirm that I wasn’t seeing things. Here I was, four years old, sitting in a white plastic chair, short black hair and my favourite magenta dress without sleeves and with little flowers embroidered on the top. It was one of rare photos were I wasn’t really smiling, seemed more like I was embarrassed and my puffy eyes suggested I had just stopped crying. Next to me, in a similar white plastic chair there was a boy, probably around 14 years old, chestnut hair bleached by the summers’ sun, blue eyes. Those blu eyes. There was no doubt. The only thing that seemed out of place was the missing smile on his face: clearly he didn’t want to have his picture taken. I focused on the way his right hand was leaning on the armrest of the chair: he had a noble bearing, a particular kind of firmness that matched the serious look in his eyes and that was in stark contrast with how his left slender arm was tenderly posed around my little and chubby figure. I took the photo from the album without a particular reason but later that day this revealed to be a good decision. I went out with my dog for his usual afternoon walk in the park and there I found him.

My London stalker. My brother.

Later he would explain to me that in the photo I was embarrassed because he had just gave me a kiss on the cheek to making me stop crying after I fell trying to climb on the chair that was too high for me to seat on without help. That day though we just remained silent, seating in a wooden bench, looking at my dog running through the park for about an hour. Then I stood up and he talked.

“I’m sorry, there’s so much I want to tell you but I thought you had questions, so I didn’t prepare a proper speech an-“

“I’ll be here, every day at 15:30, for half an hour with my dog. I don’t know who you are but for some reason beyond my comprehension, I want to hear what you have to say. I can’t trust you, but I feel that you won’t hurt me. If you really wanted to, you had plenty of occasion to do so, at the airport and even now, and yet you didn’t. If you want to tell me something, I’ll listen. I think I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Lucrezia.”

“While we’re at it…how should I call you?”

“Cesare. To you I’ll always be Cesare.”

Later I noticed that at the back of our photo, in my mum’s handwriting there was a brief description that said “Roni and Cesare, Agosto, Marilleva.”

He was right. He had lots of names, but to me he had always been simply Cesare.

***********************************************************************************************

February 26, Saturday, 15:33 (present time)

“Have you finally caught up?”

“Yes. Sorry but this will have to be a brief meeting.”

“I know, I know. I’ll just hear what you have to say and answer to your question before you accept the role I’m giving you.”

“The role of Kingmaker is not as easy as you may think, go ask Warwick.”

“Who?”

“Doesn’t matter now. First of all I would like to apologize for my behaviour of two weeks ago. I’ve read all the files, past, present and possible future and I think I get some of your feelings. You will die by the hand of the woman you love to put an end to this madness about titans, you have a right to be angry and resentful, but maybe you could avoid to wipe out humanity with the Rumbling.”

“It’s the only possible way.”

“It’s a shitty plan.”

“A Queen shouldn’t talk like that.”

“This Queen will when she thinks it fits the situation.”

“So, you’ll accept your role like I said.”

“No.”

“What do you mean? You just called yoursel-“

“Let me speak. I’m considering my options, I don’t even know if I really have Reiss blood-“

“Me being here and knowing almost everything about you isn’t enough? You know I can see the future, and you’re in it and you’ll do what I ask.”

“I get that, but my experience says that the future can be changed. The files show a possible future but nothing is written in stone. You can still think about this and find a better plan to end Eldians’ suffering and titans’ wars. From what I’ve learned, Armin seems to be a good strategist and you should talk to him and think together with the others of other wa-“

“I won’t tell him shit. Nor him, nor anyone else. I’m telling you ‘cause I need someone who will give them the means to survive. Whatever choice they make, I need for them to live.”

“They will try to stop you and hurt themselves in the process, you know it well. Hell, Mikasa will probably have kill you, the love of her life, do you think she could just live a normal life after that? You’ll be gone, but she will have to go on knowing she was the one to end you ‘cause she had no real choice. How can you do that to her?”

“Do you really think I want to do that? Do you really think I want to hurt her, Armin, all of humanity? What kind of person do you think I am?”

“A very complex and stubborn one. But no, I think you wouldn’t do any of that if you were sure to have another, safer and better way to obtain what you wish. But maybe we can discuss-“

“No. I’m tired of this. There’s no other way and I’ll do what I have to do, I won’t change my mind, whatever you, or anyone else will say. For three years I’ve done nothing but torment myself and never found a better solution than this. I will be gone and I’ll have to witness everyone going on with their lives without me and it’s the last thing I wish to see even though I know it’s wrong. But I don’t wanna talk about all of this shit with you now, I just need you to put a crown on your damn little head, listen to what the Commander says, provide my friends with what they need whatever will be their choice and to not reveal to anyone about my intentions until I act. Will you do it?”

I’ve never seen someone so desperate as I saw Eren that day. He was just a child, a little younger than me, and yet the whole weight of the world was on his shoulders. He had the power to destroy the world and he would have done that to erase the titans from this world, as he swore when he was a kid. His stubbornness was his own ruin and his greatest gift: he refused any other plan, or even discussion about another plan, because he was confident that no other option presented by someone else could be valid. At the same time, with his sacrifice, humanity would be free from titans, he would sacrifice himself even for people that ignored what Eldia was and had been. In that moment, I suddenly remembered a song:

“Then I lost it all, dead and broken,

my back’s against the wall, cut me open,

I’m just trying to breathe, just trying to figure it out,

because I built these walls to watch them crumbling down.

I said: “Then I’ve lost it all”.

Who can save me now?”

It wasn’t the first time a song popped into my head at the most unusual moments, and that day, those verse helped me realize what was the best thing to do. All of his suffering and loneliness hit my face like a punch, because when I looked into his eyes I saw a reflection of my grief. Frustrations had accumulated under my skin for so long but I had decided to shut my anger in order to keep on going. In order to fulfill the promise I made to Cesare. All that time, I decided to keep my anger inside since there was no one I felt free to expose myself with, not even in my Roni-life, and in Eren I saw the same kind of loneliness. Anger, hate, vengeance can corrupt and consume and I tried my best to run away from those feelings while Eren embraced them: the results were the same though, we were both lonely and consumed. And so, my decision was made: I wanted to help him, but I had conditions. Eren was shouting so much that my dog started to bark at him and that alerted Sebastian, who was watching from a distance as per my request. I sensed Sebastian rushing at my side but I lifted my free hand, signaling him to stop his advancing, while the other hand tightened the grip on my dog’s leash, making him stop his barking. Eren had finished his monologue and the following awkward silence was broken by my words.

“Sebastian, there’s no need to intervene, Mr. Jaeger won’t touch me so recklessly since he believes I have royal blood. And Mr. Jaeger, Eren, now you’ll listen carefully to what I have to say. I don’t like the way you speak to me and I don’t like your shitty plan, and I like even less the fact that you want me to lie to everyone about your intentions. I don’t personally know your colleagues, your friends, but I’ve learned to care for them through the many files I’ve read. I don’t agree with your opinion that there’s no other way to do this but I can understand your pain in having to bear this fate by yourself. I won’t agree to be your Queen, I’m sorry. The first Historia has already taken her rightful place and she made her choice, she will be even more miserable if I take that from her. Wait, before you start yelling again, let me finish. I won’t take the title, but I will help, as an ally. From what I saw in the files, you’re about to leave Paradis and take a look at the world before you act on your fake plan with Zeke. If your Commander wishes to, she can meet me and we can make an agreement based on the kind of help she needs. I can find armies, arms, technology, I’ll do what I can. When the time of your Rumbling comes, I’ll do my best to help them survive: whatever their choice will be, Sebastian and other allies of mine will protect them at the best of their possibilities. But I won’t lie to them. I’ll them about the files, that I can predict how things will go thanks to them but that I’m bound to secrecy, which is actually true. I’m talking about the Rumbling with you because you also know that future, otherwise I couldn’t have done this, I’ve learned my lesson about breaking this rule. I will help humanity and your friends, but these are my conditions, no crown, no lies. Take it or leave it.”

He left.

When spring came, I learned his answer.

************************************************************************************************************************************************

Author's note: First of all, thank you for reading! So, we have here another flashback of Roni/Lucrezia and Cesare's second encounter, even if they knew each other since a long time ago, as we've discovered. To be precise, Marilleva is a beautiful place lost in the Dolomites, in Trentino, an italian region I really love. The song here mentioned reminded me of Eren since waaaay before I started writing this story, so I wanted to include it. As always, I'll link the song here below. Thank you for the attention! Hope you'll stick for another chapter, when...well, some things will change.

#nomen #fanfic #ff #sebastian michaelis #kuroshitsuji #eren jaeger #aot #the borgias #cesare #cesare x lucrezia #original character #Spotify #aot x oc

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rogerscupboard · 5 years

Text

y’all ever let yourselves fall too hard for someone u can’t have? me the fuck too

#this is literally about deacy #prepare yourself for some 14 year old sounding bullshit #im like so sad that i cant even cry #my heart just hurts #ive gone way too deep into this crush and its put me in this weird emotional mood #it’s like i miss him but that’s impossible because i don’t even know him #i look at pictures of him from the 70s and my heart aches because that deacy doesnt even exist anymore #too good to be true #i somehow miss him and my heart hurts too much to write anything #:(#shut up li

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adhd-disaster-willie · 3 years

Text

you're the one that brings the sun; chapter 1/6

Summary: Alex is prepared for every single variable except, apparently, the one in which his roommate is drop dead gorgeous and Alex is an absolute clusterfuck of a human being who falls for the first pretty boy on he sees on campus.

Willex roommate au!

Warnings: Swearing

Notes: The title is from the song “I Dare You” by the Regrettes. I’ve actually planned this fic out so here’s to hoping I don’t get burned out halfway through. It might end up having 6 or 7 chapters, 5 is kind of just an estimate.

---

When Alex was 11, his mother proudly plastered his report card to the fridge and exclaimed that one day, her little boy would go to Harvard. His father gripped his shoulder with pride and Alex beamed up at his parents like they’d just told him he had superpowers. 3 years later, he was 14 and teetering on the edge of failure in the majority of his classes. He wasn’t stupid by any means, just preoccupied. He’d started a band with his best friends and that felt like the most important thing in the whole world, and high school was new and scary, so it was easier to not pour all his focus into school. His parents’ smiles faltered but they kept up hope, Alex could tell. 2 years later, he stood shaking and crying outside of the Molina’s garage and suddenly, the concept of going to college begun to feel distant and fake. But he’s 18 now, and somehow, miraculously, gazing at the piles of boxes in the back of Ray’s car and swallowing down a lump in his throat.

It sure isn’t Harvard, but a part of Alex feels giddy at the fact that he’s attending a public college that was relatively easy to get into; oh his parents would be rolling in their proverbial graves. What didn’t make him quite so happy though, was the looming fact that he’d be living with some random person, because for some godforsaken reason, the college wouldn’t allow freshmen to choose their roomates. Some bullshit about meeting new people and socializing.

“Hey, ‘Lex. Dude, you’ll be fine.” Luke shakes his shoulders, before swinging one arm around him and the other around Reggie.

“Says the one who isn’t even going to college,” Alex grumbles, slipping from Luke’s grip and into the front seat of the car.

“Yea cause I don’t need it. Not my fault you’re both nerds,” Luke retorts.

“I’m not a nerd, I just like to have insurance-”

“Yea, back-up plan, safety net, heard it a million times. Reggie’s a nerd though.”

“Old news, dude,” Alex says.

“I am not a nerd!” Reggie protests indignantly.

“Tell that to your 2 years of college credit in math.”

Luke nods in agreement. “Nerd.”

“Math is fun!”

“You’re horrible.” Alex makes a mock gagging noise.

Julie comes bounding out of the house, her arms decked with various baked goods. She tosses herself in the backseat beside Reggie and Luke, looking quite pleased with herself at being able to force Luke to sit in the middle. “Tía was apparently up all night baking,” she explains, passing the sweets up to Alex. “Don’t be surprised if she shows up at your dorm with food every day.”

Alex snorts. “I would not object to that.”

Julie sighs, leaning back in her seat. “You guys are so lucky, I’m tired of high school. Damn September birthday,” Julie grumbles. Her birthday is just after the cut off date, so she would be 18 for the majority of senior year, but is just barely too young to be in the same grade as the boys.

Reggie leans over and pats her arm sympathetically, earning an offended squeak from Luke, who’s only pushed further into the back of the seat.

“Don’t worry!” Alex chirps sarcastically. “You get to spend more time with Luke, since he’ll be squatting in your garage!”

“Oh, joy,” Julie deadpans.

“I am not a squatter!” Luke protests, kicking the back of Alex’s seat.

“No kicking! I’m holding food!”

“Y’know Alex, you’ve been staying in the studio for 2 years, you’re not one to talk!” Luke argues.

“I have a job.”

“A stupid job.”

“A stupid job that gets you free coffee.”

Reggie nodds to that, chewing on a cookie. “Can’t risk losing your coffee privileges.”

Julie groans loudly and stuck her head out the window. “DAAAAD! Let’s goooo!” She cries.

“Wow, I didn’t know you wanted to get rid of me so badly,” Alex says, clutching his chest dramatically.

“Oh shut up Lexi, I just wanna meet your’s and Reggie’s new best friends!” Julie says, laughing.

“I’m not gonna be best friends with my roommate.”

“Yea, Alex forgot how to do that!”

“Luke I will smother you in your sleep!”

At this, Ray approaches the car with a raised eyebrow. “No one’s planning a murder, I hope?” He asks, chuckling as he slides into the drivers seat.

“No sir!” Reggie replies, grinning.

“Not yet,” Alex mumbles under his breath.

“Alright boys, who’s ready for college!” Ray says, starting the car.

“I’m gonna be sick.”

---

“And that’s the last of it!” Ray claps a hand over Alex’s shoulder and smiles encouragingly.

Alex nods tensely, gripping the strap of his fannypack tighter.

The dorm’s probably as good as he’s gonna get. One reasonably sized bedroom complete with two horribly uncomfortable beds, a kitchen with a fridge that was in no way large enough to fit even a weeks worth of meals, a tiny living room that would probably fit a couch and a TV at the most, and a bathroom that smelled suspiciously of mustard. Really it isn’t terrible, but Alex has a habit of noticing every little detail, especially the ones that could be a problem at some point. His roommate hasn’t arrived yet, so he’s standing amongst his various boxes, anxiety pulsing in his chest.

Julie grips his hand tightly and smiles, tears pricking the edges of her eyes. “Hey, Alex, you’re gonna be okay.” She squeezes his hand briefly.

Alex nods, exhaling shakily. “Yea, yea I know. It’s just…”

“A change, I know. But this is a good change. And-” she hauls Reggie and Luke over to them. “-we’re all here if you need to call someone and talk. And dad, and Tía, and I bet your roommate will be super cool.”

“Or a serial killer.”

“Just pray he’s not a football player,” Reggie stage-whispers, shuddering.

“God, don’t even suggest that!” Alex whines.

Encouragements and teary hugs are passed along, as well as a promise to meet at the Olive Garden nearby for dinner in a few hours, and then Alex’s posse is off to get Reggie settled, and Alex is left alone in the dorm. Alright.

Alex takes a deep breath, steeling himself, before beginning to wander the dorm. He’s anxious to start unpacking without his roommate and risk doing something that they wouldn’t like. Even choosing a bed feels wrong, he really doesn’t want to get off on the wrong foot with this person. But leaving the dorm meant people everywhere so that was a definite no. He sighs, lowering himself to the wooden floor and pulling out his phone.

“Yea… uh huh. Yes Caleb, I got here fine. No the Uber driver did not try and kidnap me. The boxes- the boxes are not too heavy. Okay. Okay. Yea, bye. Mhm.”

Alex looks up hesitantly upon hearing the voice nearing his dorm. The person standing in the doorway is well… less of a person and more of a large stack of boxes threatening to fall over any second. “Hello?” Alex stands up and makes his way to the boy stood in the entrance.

Said boy pokes his head out from behind his boxes and grins crookedly. “Hi, uh, I’m Willie!” And well, Alex is a goner. He swallows thickly, breath catching in the back of his throat. Willie attempts to adjust the boxes but ultimately fails, sending them tumbling to the ground amongst several muttered curses. “Well… nothing fragile in there,” he falters slightly. “I think.”

“Um…”

“Right! Sorry, uh.” Willie holds his hand out and Alex shakes it tentatively.

“Alex.”

“Alex, cool.” Willie smiles again, his dark eyes twinkling as he does so, smile lines popping out. He brushes his hair -which looks so soft and pretty- behind his ear to reveal a small golden hoop on his right lobe. Alex is dead, actually 100% dead. Because he’d been prepared for every single variable except, apparently, the one in which his roommate is drop dead gorgeous and Alex is an absolute clusterfuck of a human being who falls for the first pretty boy on he sees on campus.

Alex forces out a smile, all too aware that he’s still standing stiff and awkward in front of Willie, his grip on his fannypack tight enough to make his knuckles glow white. Then Willie coughs as some sort of attempt to fill the silence. “Sorry!” Alex squeaks. “Do you need help with the… the uh, boxes?”

“Oh yea, that’d be great!” Willie replies, beaming. “I don’t think there’s anything fragile in there, but y’know, my memory is absolute shit so if I broke some fancy china dishes I didn’t even know I owned, don’t be too shocked.”

Alex laughs anxiously. “Yea uh… I didn’t start unpacking cause I um… I didn’t want to claim a bed and stuff with-without your input?” His voice cracks at the end and he winces because Jesus fucking christ Alex.

Willie chuckles and Alex notes that he has the kind of laugh that echoes through your whole body and settles right in your heart. “ ‘S cool, man, I don’t mind.”

“Right, cool. Do you uh… are you okay if I take the bed farthest from the window? I’m not- not much of a morning person, and the window is… it’s east facing” Alex mutters, his gaze focused on his feet which are rocking back and forth at a rapid pace.

“Yea, of course,” Willie replies. “I don’t think I’ve woken up later than 8 in 5 years.”

“That’s horrific!” Alex cries, momentarily forgetting his anxiety. He steps back and blushes an even deeper red upon realizing how stupid he’s being. “I mean- I just… sorry, I just meant that-”

“You’re good, dude. I don’t bite.”

Alex cracks a tentative smile. “So uh… I’ll just start unpacking then.”

Willie shoots him a thumbs up and smiles once again, which is a thing he apparently does a lot.

An hour later, Alex’s belongings are unpacked and organized and the room feels a bit more his. He feels slightly lighter, exhaling and closing his eyes briefly. This isn’t so bad. Fiddling with the hem of his hoodie, he shuffles out into the living room where Willie is presumably unpacking. Except that he’s not.

Willie is laying upside down on a couch that somehow appeared while Alex was gone and he’s flipping through a tattered magazine while his belongings remain mostly unpacked.

“This quiz says that I should try roller skating,” Willie sniffs. “Some personality test this is- oh hey Alex!” He scrambles up so that he can look Alex in the eyes properly, and points to the magazine in his hand. “Found this in a box, not sure how it got there since I’ve never even subscribed to one of these, but there’s a chocolate chip cookie recipe in here.” He stops for a moment, pondering. “Personally I prefer peanut butter cookies, ooh especially fresh out of the oven. There’s this bakery near my house that-”

“Did you get… any unpacking done?” Alex asks, raising an eyebrow.

Willie looks around at his boxes and laughs sheepishly. “Well I unpacked one and opened 3 so… some, yes.”

“Where’d the couch come from?” Alex pokes the cushion warily, as if afraid that it’s full of bugs.

“Room across the hall,” Willie says, pointing. “They both brought couches and didn’t have room for two we got the one with more stains.”

“Right.” Alex’s reply is forced and tense, and he winces upon realizing. Truthfully, he hadn’t expected his roommate to become so comfortable so fast and he felt like he was several steps behind. Damn extroverts. Drumming his hands against his thighs, Alex slowly sits down on the other side of the couch, pointedly looking ahead instead of at Willie.

“So.” Willie scoots closer, sitting cross legged with his elbows on his thighs and chin resting in his palms. “What’s your major?”

Small talk, god Alex hates small talk. “Um, music,” he answers.

“Ah, that’s cool dude.” Willie nods.

“Uh, what about you?” Alex asks.

“Art,” Willie replies, grinning. “Be prepared for paint stains, like, everywhere.” He chuckles and nudges Alex’s shoulder playfully. Alex is going to implode, he’s sure of it.

Alex laughs awkwardly. “So uh… what’s wrong with rollerskating?”

Willie shoves his shoulder again. “Everything, dude! Well-” he cuts himself off, thinking. “-I just kinda suck at it, definitely better at my skateboard.” He jerks his head in the direction of a skateboard leaned against the wall and Alex wonders how he didn’t notice that.

“Oh, that’s- that’s cool. I rollerblade but I uh, I can’t skateboard to save my life.”

Somehow, they slip into a comfortable rhythm, and Alex notes that his anxiety no longer has him in a chokehold. Willie seems to have that affect; he’s just so… open. Alex doesn’t realize it yet, but he’s subconsciously created a folder in the back of his mind labelled “Willie,” and he doesn’t think he’s capable of forgetting anything Willie will ever say to him.

“- that’s why airplane food is just, horrible. Cause you basically lose like 30% of your tastebuds because of the elevation.” Willie smiles at Alex, gaging his response.

Alex would rather die than admit that he’s still trying to figure out how the topic of airplane food came up, so he just nods enthusiastically, actively stopping his eyes from dancing across Willie’s face, which is practically glowing in the evening sun. Evening. Shit. Alex pulls out his phone frantically. “Shit.” He says it out loud this time.

Willie’s brow furrows in confusion. “You good, dude?”

“Uh yea I’m just, I’m supposed to be meeting my fam- uh my friends for dinner and I have to be there in like 5 minutes.” He ignores the way Willie’s expression falls, convinced he’s just seeing things.

“Yea um, of course. I won’t keep you.” Willie stands up, his posture the stiffest that Alex has seen it in the whole 3 hours they’ve been acquainted for. “I’ll just… order a pizza.”

Alex hesitates in the doorway, weighing his options, which has never been his strong suit. “Do you want to join me?” He blurts impulsively. Willie looks at him in surprise. “I mean only- only if you want of course, we’ve only really uh, known each other for a few hours and you- you probably don’t want to, it was stupid. I’ll just- I’ll just go-”

“No! I’d… I’d like to, eating pizza alone in the dark sounds a little pathetic,” Willie responds.

Alex smiles genuinely. “Ok, ok that’s uh. Cool. That’s cool.”

---

Alex is already regretting this. The restaurant isn’t too crowded, he notices with a relieved breath. But it’s loud. It’s loud and yet only one group of people is talking. Alex doesn’t even need to guess who.

“Ok but- no- no- the whole song would be better!”

“Say banjo one more time, I dare you!”

“Banjo.”

“Julie, what the hell?! This is betrayal!”

“You stole my breadstick, it’s only fair.”

Alex coughs, quieting the table to a dull roar.

“Alex!” Julie pulls him down to sit next to her. “Oh? Who’s this?” Reggie is grinning wickedly and Luke waggles his eyebrows in a way that makes Alex want to shave them off.

“This is uh, my roommate Willie,” Alex responds, his voice raising an octave. “He didn’t have plans so I uh… I invited him, I hope that’s ok.”

“Of course it’s ok!” Julie pats the space on the other side of Alex and Willie sits down, appearing… oddly nervous.

“Congrats! Your Alex’s first new friend since,” Luke taps his chin, pretending to think. “7th grade.”

Alex’s face promptly falls into his hands. He’s seriously considering the whole, shaving Luke’s eyebrows in his sleep thing.

Reggie leans forward conspiratorially. “What’s your opinion on banjos?” He asks, making a point to ignore Luke’s dramatic complaining.

Willie raises his eyebrows, clearly confused. “Um. No comment?”

“I’m… sorry about them,” Alex says apolegetically. “Uh, this is Luke, Reggie, and Julie-” he gestures to each of them; Reggie waves, beaming happily. “-and Julie’s dad should be…” He trails off, looking around.

“He had to take a phone call, something about Carlos refusing to eat dinner until he proves the house is haunted,” Julie explains, clearly biting back a laugh.

“I… okay.” Alex shakes his head. “Are we waiting for more food or did Reggie eat it all?”

“Ha ha,” Reggie punctuates his statement by sticking out his tongue. “We’re waiting for the actual meals-”

“Yea Luke already ate the entire bread basket.” Julie shoots a glare in Luke’s direction.

“Well… you suggested we get hotdogs,” Luke grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. “Payback.”

“Okay,” Julie laughs.

Willie leans over to whisper loudly to Alex, “What’s the story with the hotdogs?”

“Don’t tell him!” Luke cries, leaning across the table and slamming his palms down.

“We don’t talk of the hot-dogs,” Reggie mutters miserably.

“Food poisoning.” Alex shudders slightly. “Very bad food poisoning.”

“We almost died,” Reggie says, eyes widening. “Like, for real death. I’m pretty sure I was a ghost for a few seconds.”

“Reg, you were not a ghost,” Alex says, speaking like Reggie’s a 10 year old talking about monsters under his bed.

“I was!”

“You were not!”

“So,” Luke smiles mischievously, taking Reggie and Alex’s bickering as an opportunity to apparently torture the latter. Despite Alex’s warning glares, he turns to Willie with an innocent expression. “What kind of music do you like?”

“Luke,” Alex hisses, all too familiar with Luke’s antics.

“Hmmm.” Willie is painfully oblivious to Alex’s panicked expression as he mulls over his answer. “A lot of stuff really.” He shrugs. “Rock, pop, I like those lo-fi playlists when I’m trying to study.”

Luke nods, clearly pleased with the answer, but he isn’t done and Alex wants to hide under the table. He knows what’s coming next. “Thoughts on… drummers?”

“Luke.” Alex is seconds from lunging across the table.

“Drummers?” Willie asks, tilting his head confusedly.

“Yup,” Luke says, popping the p and still smiling like he’s some sort of innocent puppy-dog and not an absolute bastard.

“Hot,” Willie jokes. Alex can’t even hide the way he manages to choke on his own spit, and Luke and Reggie have never been great at subtlety, turning to Alex with matching shit-eating grins. Willie either doesn’t notice or is kind enough not to comment on it. “Yea, pretty sure young Roger Taylor was my gay awakening.”

Reggie is full on giggling now, and Alex’s entire face is gleaming a bright red. Willie glances around the table, puzzled.

“Mhm.” Luke nods before swiftly turning to Alex. “Hey Alex, by the way, you left your drumsticks in the car, do you need them back?” His voice is sickeningly sweet, coated in some sort of poisoned honey. It’s Willie’s turn to choke on nothing, failing to disguise it as a spontaneous coughing fit.

“Fine,” Alex squeaks as he sinks further down in his seat. If he pulls out his phone and messages Luke a flurry of threats, that’s no one’s business. He dares a glance at Willie, who has become quite fascinated with his hands, which are tapping out a mindless rhythm on the table, his cheeks and the tips of his ears dusted red.

Needless to say, Alex makes sure Luke doesn’t even get to look at the next bread basket.

---

I hope you liked it! Tell me if you want to be added to the taglist :)

I’m hoping to update at least once a week, but who knows. Ok thats all.

chapter 2

Chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 5

chapter 6

#willex #jatp #willex fic #jatp fic #julie and the phantoms #alex mercer #willie jatp #willie nolastname #julie molina #luke patterson #reggie peters #ray molina #willow writes #ytotbts #you’re the one that brings the sun

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mrstaeminlee · 3 years

Text

Mission Complete Ch. 1

You had two goals in life. One: Complete your squad training without dying. Two: Fuck Levi Ackerman

Pairings: Levi/f!reader

Warnings: Swearing, eventual smut, lmk if I need to add anything~

You really had no idea what the fuck prompted you to join the military. Maybe it was to find some redeeming grace in the eyes of your dying mother, maybe it was because you wanted a life with as much stability as one could muster, maybe it was because you just fucking hated farming.

Whatever it was, you wished to any God that would listen that you would have buried it in the ground along with the countless friends and family members you had lost to the Titans.

The first week of the cadet corps was everything you knew you would hate and more. Between the foul smelling breath of the commandant threatening to make you puke up the bread you had managed to steal, to working your body to the point of sneaking away from one on one combat to puke behind the bushes, after seven days you had almost decided that maybe digging in the dirt for the rest of your miserable life wasn't so bad.

There was only one thing stopping you from making your own walk of shame to the wagon of regret.

Levi Ackerman.

AKA the man you fantasized about every night when you managed to find enough strength to finger yourself below the covers.

He was a couple of inches shorter, true, but you were willing to break your rule of not fucking anyone shorter than you for him.

You had only see him twice in your life by complete chance, the first had been when you happened to be by the gates in time to see the Scouts returning from what was undoubtably another failed mission, and you decided that what the hell, might as well have a look at Humanity's Strongest in the flesh. Granted, it hadn't been his best day; his green cloak was splattered with what could only have been the blood of his comrades as it didn't look as if he had a single scratch on him, but he looked like a god, albeit one that had just gotten his ass kicked out of heaven. His eyes seemed to be sunken in, and even from how far away you were you found yourself shivering from the intensity of his dead gaze. You weren't sure what possessed you to lift your hand as he eyes moved through the crowd, looking for whom, you didn't know, or what possessed him to raise those eyes to you, but you found yourself lost in haunted silver as you gave a soft wave. The way he seemed to look straight through you, not even seeing you even as you stared at each other, was enough to convince you that you needed to do whatever it took to see this man again.

You enlisted the start of the next week.

The second time was completely by chance.

Everyone was desperate for military recruits, and desperate times called for desperate calls to important people to make appearances in front of people that were well, not very important.

Erwin Smith, Dot Pixis, Nile Dawk, Levi Ackerman, Hange Zoe, Rico Brzenska, and even Darius Zackly graced the entrance ceremony of the new Cadets, and you thanked whatever bone in your body made you a teacher's pet because you had a front row seat to the man that had plagued your thoughts every single day in the past week. His appearance was brief and he didn't speak, just stared at the fresh faces, some cocky, some blank, but mostly terrified new recruits, and you could have sworn that you saw a tinge of sadness hidden in the silver, as if he could already foresee the deaths of everyone in front of him. He followed after Erwin immediately after the blond gave his speech about thanking you all for making the decision to serve humanity and you fought the urge to roll your eyes. 'I'm not doing this for humanity, I'm doing this for dick,' you thought as you signed your life away to this shit camp for the next two years.

How one man who was fucking shorter than you managed to convince you to trade the next 728 days, 14 hours, 37 minutes, and 15 seconds of your life for physical and emotional hell was beyond you, and yet here you were, standing proud and slightly hungover from the pre-graduation celebrating you did with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin the night before. They hadn't initially been your first choice in friends, but Armin was nice to you from the start and once you very quickly learned that flirting with Eren in front of Mikasa was not in your best interest, you had decided that they were alright; especially when Eren's Titan form had been revealed. If anyone was going to have to get close enough to keep an eye on Eren, it would be Captain Levi.

The very man you were thinking of walked on the stage along with Nile Dawk, Dot Pixis, and Erwin Smith as the three took turns giving their pitch. You hadn't made the top 10 but were happy for your friends that were, you were content with your place as 13th. In a class of over 500, you still considered it a win, and if your parents were still alive you knew they'd be proud. As the remaining members of the top 10 who had opted to join the elitest MP's went off to talk to Nile and the other scared fucks ran off to sign themselves to the Garrison regiment, you and around a hundred other members stayed where you were and you licked your lips, forcing your heart rate to calm itself. 'Calm down, you can't work your way up to fucking the strongest man in the world if you die of heart attack before-'

"Listen up you little shits."

Oh my God he was speaking you've never heard his voice before it's so fucking-

"Most of you are going to die. Are you prepared for that?"

Ah, so Humanity's Strongest was a sweet talker.

"Erwin is making me come up here and talk, so we're all going to pretend that I'm saying some meaningful bullshit. But here's the truth: If you aren't strong, you will die, and it will be painful. Imagine the thought of seeing your childhood friend's entrails being slurped up like spaghetti by a Titan, while the entire time he's conscious enough to reach his hand out for you, and you are able to do nothing for him because you spent exactly one second hesitating, or you were a moment too late to draw your blades, or react to the threat. If that scares you, then do us all a favor and put down that half assed salute and sell your soul to the Garrison where you'll spend your days fucking the best whores for a discount if you're in uniform and getting drunk on the clock."

After his touching speech you and your now dripping panties decided that you had indeed made the right decision in selling yourself to the Scouts.

One month later

It was moments like these, where you weren't quite trashed but definitely more than tipsy, that you had never been happier to be part of the survey corps. I mean, you were in peak physical shape (you still couldn't believe you had abs. Abs!), you were hot, you were fit, and you knew Sasha Braus, who had managed to steal a few bottles of top shelf liquor from the higher ups.

You were also horny as fuck. It had been over a year since you'd gotten laid, and you were using the dildo you'd bought on your first trip back into town as often as you brushed your teeth (twice a day, you didn't fuck with cavities). You briefly thought about enlisting the help of one of your current drinking buddies but after seeing your choices you decided to leave it to old faithful hidden in your pillowcase. There was Jean, who albeit was pretty hot even with the long face but was so in love with Mikasa it made you want to vomit. Marco, who you were almost one hundred percent sure was gay; Connie, who held the sexual appeal of a pile of horse shit, although he was super nice. Reiner almost looked promising but you knew underneath those stocky muscles was a shitload of emotional baggage you didn't want, and Bertholt was head over heels for Annie of all people. That left Armin and Eren. Eren you already knew was out, while your slut senses told you he'd be a great lay, you weren't quite ready for your life to end at the hands of Mikasa. That left Armin. You tilted your head, staring at him as you sipped on your god forsaken concoction and debated fucking him or not. He wasn't outright sexy, but he'd filled in well during the two years of training and you had seen glimpses of his surprisingly impressive muscles under his white shirt. He might actually do. He'd be shy as hell and you would have to lead everything, not to mention he'd probably cum in less than a minute, but it just might-

“Did you guys know that Captain Levi is a virgin?"

You spit the mix of vodka, rum, and whatever mixer Reiner had put in all over the face of the person you had just considered fucking.

"I'm sorry, what?" You turned your attention to Christa, apologetically handing Armin a napkin and patting his cheek.

Christa blushed at the attention and scooted closer to Ymir, who threw an arm around her shoulders and gave Reiner her customary 'If you even look at her weird, I will gut you' look. "W-Well, recently I started helping out in the infirmary because they've been short handed. You all know, it's that time of year where everyone has to get looked at and they give us that sheet of paper to fill out with all of our personal information to keep track of potential diseases. I was in charge of filing the paperwork the day they brought all of the officers in, and on the paper they ask you how many sexual partners you've had and Captain Levi wrote 0. But you guys, you have to promise not to tell anyone! This is private information, if it somehow gets out that I told you this I'll get into a lot of trouble!"

Ymir chuckled, placing a sloppy kiss at the top of the blonde's head. "Don't worry about a thing sweet cheeks, if any of these miscreants here says a word I'll kill them for ya. But we don't have to worry about that at all, now do we?" She glared at each person in the room, who all looked as if Christa were a ghost, and slowly shook their heads.

Your life was changed.

Captain Levi Ackerman.

The strongest man in the world.

Rumored former thug of the Underground.

The person responsible for killing as many Titans as a hundred soldiers.

The person whose squad every scout dreamed of being on, was a virgin.

You screeched out a laugh before you could help it, the alcohol doing nothing to try and make you quiet yourself as you fell onto your back laughing, cup long forgotten as it rolled across the floor. The person who initiated your drive to join the military in the first place, the person you literally dreamed of fucking, had never gotten his dick wet.

Clearly, you had your work cut out for you.

If you managed to live through the sight of Ymir reaching over to punch you in the face to shut you up.

#lmk if y'all like it plssssss #we're just gonna age everyone up here lol #I've been thirsting after Armin as a 30 yr old college professor who blushes when he sees you in your bra but chokes you out during sex #aot x reader #snk x reader #Levi ackerman #Levi Ackerman x reader #Levi x reader #Levi x reader smut #Levi smut #captain levi

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frobin · 2 years

Text

I posted 222 times in 2021

46 posts created (21%)

176 posts reblogged (79%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 3.8 posts.

I added 662 tags in 2021

#kon - 191 posts

#frobin - 187 posts

#text - 67 posts

#headcanon - 38 posts

#canon - 34 posts

#not frobin - 31 posts

#anime - 31 posts

#official - 28 posts

#ask - 28 posts

#humor - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 108 characters

#the last one is franky realising that he can look under robins skirt trying his best to not make it awkward.

My Top Posts in 2021

Franky has bi wife energy

68 notes • Posted 2021-04-14 16:02:00 GMT

Is it me or does it feel like the anime ships Frobin? They keep adding small scenes involving the both of them.

I don’t watch the anime actively but I see a lot of screenshots and... yeah.

I remember watching episode 597 (to show someone how to do real research and not bullshitting stuff so it’s fitting in the wished narrative) and it basically shows us how it came to be that Robin is suddenly lying on Franky (Chapter 671 - 672):

See the full post

103 notes • Posted 2021-04-26 16:01:58 GMT

Someone complain about size difference between Franky and Nico Robin? Not at all, ladies and gentlemen! As Robin can create bigger copies of her body, this is not an issue anymore, maybe she can become bigger than him! 😂

Hey Sorry, took me a while to answer bc I had to read the newest chapter first.

And first of all, I‘m so happy. Robin and Brook being badass, bonding over Trauma :‘D

Holy Fuck, Oda!!

Anyway your comment, dear anon is especially funny because of this recent interaction I had on twitter:

OP: JSJDHDHDB THE PEOPLE SHIPPING FROBIN MUST ACC BE ROBIN ANTIS DO YOU WANT HER TO BE TORN APART?

FRobin Twitter: I mean you‘ve seen the size difference between Oden and Toki? Like… shipping completely aside Oda does not care for size differences in couples. For example it‘s canon that Big Mom has a child that was conceived with a Tontatta as a father.

because of this weird animation in the anime:

See the full post

131 notes • Posted 2021-08-02 14:13:14 GMT

(X)

See the full post

190 notes • Posted 2021-09-01 10:01:12 GMT

Franky: Happy mothers day, Robin!

Robin: I am not a mother, Franky. But thank you for the flower.

Franky: Sure... sure...

---

Chopper: Robin, I found this old medical book but it's written in a different language. Can you help me translating it?

Robin: Of course, doctor.

Chopper: Yay! Thank you Robin! I'll bring snacks! I still have some cookies from the last island!

Robin: I look forward to it.

---

Nami: Rooobin! We need to get shopping on the next island. I can't find anything that looks good.

Robin: I think your clothes show your amazing taste and you look gorgeous in them but if you feel like they aren't and you want to go shopping, then I'm very happy to accompany you, Nami. It will be a girls day.

Nami: You just get it Robin! Thank you!

Robin: But would you do me a favour and try not to steal this time?

Nami: Robin, for you... I'll try.

---

Luffy: Robin! Can we have story time reading tonight?

Robin: Of course, captain.

Luffy: Sanji! Prepare story time snacks!

Robin: Luffy, do you want to choose a story?

Luffy: No, you can do it better. But one that is about adventure! And freedom! And fighting! And meat!

Robin: Naturally.

---

Sanji: Robin, do you have a wish for todays meal? I'm not sure what to make

Robin: Sanji, everything you prepare is delicious and I'm sure you know exactly what to make that everyone likes.

Sanji: I'll do sandwiches with different toppings! Thank you so much for your help.

---

Brook: Do you mind if I play a song while you read?

Robin: Of course not. Your music is a welcome background noise.

Brook: Ah, such a nice compliment from such a nice woman! Don't make me blush. Even though I have no skin! Skulljoke! Yohohoho!

Robin: Kindly shut up and start playing, Brook.

See the full post

467 notes • Posted 2021-05-09 13:42:08 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #thankyou for sticking with me #not frobin #2021 #what a year #kon

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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cheesybadgers · 3 years

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Narcos Fic: Old Habits Die Hard (Chap. 2)

Chapter 1, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Pairing: Javier Peña x Horacio Carrillo

Words: 3,519

Summary: Following the events of chapter 1 and some confessions from both men, things come to a head. Smut and all the feelings ensue.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY. Frotting/frottage, mutual masturbation (sort of), power dynamics, biting, slight hint of an authority kink, swearing, smoking, brief discussion of canon-typical violence, mild angst.

Notes: Thank you to everyone who has interacted with chapter 1 so far, either on Tumblr or AO3! It’s greatly appreciated ❤️ I currently intend to carry the story on beyond the events of Explosivos, but as I’ve said before, I’m not the quickest of writers and don’t want to get burnt out, so please bear with me if there are bigger gaps between chapters!

Whilst obviously I do not own Narcos or its characters, please do not copy, re-post, or plagiarize this fic in any capacity on this or other platforms. If you wish to create any fan works inspired by it, please provide a credit or send me a message if in doubt.

Chapter 2: Point Of No Return

“I did what I had to do to...to...protect you, okay?” Javier eventually blurted out.

Shit. He couldn’t believe how quickly his defences had buckled under Horacio’s questioning. Such a rookie mistake for someone who had conducted his fair share of interrogations over the years. But there was no taking it back now.

“You’ll lose your visa if you carry on like this,” Horacio warned, although his voice much softer now.

His default inquisitorial tone had shifted into something else he wasn’t altogether comfortable with, but somehow couldn’t help but inhabit when he was around Javier, especially when he was quietly confessing these words to him in the dead of night. Words that couldn’t be spoken in their everyday lives, but somehow felt permitted – and needed – in their current circumstances.

“Maybe, maybe not. But you’re a good leader. You’re what Colombia needs right now…a damn sight more than it needs the likes of me and Murphy. Plus, you’re one of the only cops I can trust round here.” He paused, almost preparing himself for the next sentence he knew was on the tip of his tongue and couldn’t be suppressed now even if he tried. “And I – I don’t fucking know what I’d do without you.”

There it was, the truth laid out more plainly than he’d ever dared to express before now. He wasn’t even sure why he was saying it after all this time, but he meant every word.

Javier’s feelings for Horacio were an unfathomable anomaly, a contradiction, a paradox. He couldn’t pretend he wasn’t envious of the way that Horacio was almost unanswerable to anyone. Of course, he had his superiors, but they couldn’t control him, not really. He was a loose cannon whose bloodlust for Escobar couldn’t be reasoned with or contained and woe betide anyone who got in his way. Javier had learnt that one many a time.

Being in close proximity to the eye of such a volatile storm was dizzying and not entirely without irony. After years of being boxed in by bullshit DEA bureaucracy, he had found Horacio liberating and yet, he couldn’t escape the fact he was completely in thrall to him. It was disarming and infuriating, but also thrilling and intriguing in equal measures. He couldn’t stay away from him even if he wanted to. The truth was, Horacio had become such an unshakeable pillar of strength and courage to Javier, he couldn’t imagine surviving Colombia without him.

“I trust you too. More than anyone. But I don’t want you risking your job and your life for me. I can’t speak for Colombia, but...I know I need you here.”

Horacio’s voice was laced with a rare vulnerability that was so far removed from the stern, intimidating Colonel he had to be to the rest of the world, he hardly recognised it as his own.

It wasn’t often he allowed himself to open up like this, couldn’t risk becoming attached when he was on the brutal and bloody frontline of this never-ending war. But Javier had been the exception. He understood what this job entailed and what it did to a person. They’d both crossed lines they never thought they’d have to cross and they didn’t judge each other for it. He’d somehow broken through Horacio’s armour in the process and it was pointless to attempt to deny it anymore.

“You risk your life every fucking day, Horacio. Earlier—you could have—and I wasn’t even—” Javier stumbled and cut himself off, attempting to swallow down any further revelations that threatened to spill out when he’d already said far too much.

“Hey come on, I’m fine. It’s just a few stitches. I got off lightly,” Horacio soothed, as much to convince himself as Javier. It had been a close call. Too close. But now wasn’t the time to dwell. “Although, I am due more painkillers,” he admitted with a vague scoff.

“Here, let me help you,” Javier swiftly offered.

He moved off his cot, reluctantly switching on the small lamp that stood between them. He held his breath in case the sudden influx of light broke the spell and snatched away the sacred moment they’d just shared.

Thankfully, the light was dim, barely illuminating objects beyond the nightstand it sat on, but providing just enough coverage for Javier to fetch a fresh glass of water and the box of pain medication from the shelf in the bathroom.

He carried the items over to Horacio’s cot, taking advantage of the extra space made available next to him since he’d sat up.

He passed the water to Horacio, followed by the painkillers. Horacio swallowed them down before handing the empty tumbler back.

They remained suspended in animation holding the glass between them, as their fingers fleetingly touched; the tips gently dancing over each other for a moment, before Javier placed the glass on the nightstand beside him. But he didn’t move from the cot and he didn’t move his hand away from Horacio’s.

Instead, he took his hand and lay it flat before delicately tracing the pad of his thumb in circles over Horacio’s palm. Unsurprisingly, he encountered callouses no doubt left over from years of conflict and the burden of his job, but in between the rough skin were hidden smooth, soft patches that Javier’s thumb caressed and cherished like a closely guarded secret only he had uncovered.

Javier’s hand slowly slid up and across Horacio’s wrist, before pausing on his pulse point. He let out a grounding sigh he’d unknowingly been holding on to as he felt the steady beat beneath his fingertips. He gradually moved up to Horacio’s arm, mapping the prominent veins and taut muscles as he journeyed up to his broad shoulder, before coming to rest at the nape of his neck.

The low light from the lamp reflected in the whites of their searching eyes, as they precariously hovered somewhere between acting on whatever this was and withdrawing from it whilst they still could.

Javier finally risked movement, leaning forwards to close the gap between them and softly pressing his forehead against Horacio’s. Both men remained still for several seconds, their chests rising and falling and their uneven breaths cutting through the silence.

“What are we doing?” Horacio whispered, his lips ghosting over Javier’s as he spoke; as though the time for that question had already passed, yet he asked it anyway. Perhaps as a final potential out for either of them before they reached the point of no return.

“I don’t know,” Javier answered honestly. “Do you want to stop?” he asked as he nuzzled his nose against Horacio’s and allowed the fingers still resting at the back of his neck to run further up into his hair.

“No. Please don’t.”

Javier gingerly pressed his lips to Horacio’s, unsure how to navigate these uncharted waters and not wanting to be too rough with him given his current state.

Horacio moved his mouth cautiously against Javier’s at first, allowing himself to become accustomed to the unfamiliar scratch of Javier’s moustache as it brushed over his skin. A low groan rumbling deep in his chest told him he was enjoying it, so much so he soon grew impatient and responded more firmly and deeply, taking control of the kiss and catching Javier off guard. He’d waited too long for this and he couldn’t wait any longer, injured or not.

Javier matched his pace, as their mouths hungrily crashed together and their tongues explored and probed. Licking, tasting and grunting as their teeth made harsh contact with each other’s bottom lip.

Their bodies became a tangled, heated mess of limbs as they fell down on the cot; initially facing each other, but it wasn’t long before Horacio used his upper body strength to roll on top of Javier, with his arms pinned either side of his head. They paused for a moment, breathing hard and fixing each other with a dark, hungry gaze.

“What about your head?” Javier couldn’t help but check in, even in such a compromising position.

“I think I’m feeling better,” Horacio murmured as he dipped down to meet Javier’s exposed throat and swiped his flattened tongue along the length of it. The sudden quivering sensation from underneath him only spurred Horacio on to begin roughly mouthing his way up and down the expanse of Javier’s neck, ensuring he sunk his teeth into the skin deep enough for bruises to bloom.

Javier gasped and leaned into it, his hands sliding across the solid wall of Horacio’s back and pulling at the fabric of his t-shirt wherever he could gain purchase.

Horacio took the hint and momentarily sat up to pull it over his head, before reaching down to tug at the hem of Javier’s shirt. He was thankful that they’d already shed most of their layers when they had settled down on their respective cots, only t-shirts and underwear remaining at this point.

Javier followed his lead and propped himself up to remove his shirt. He attempted to resume kissing Horacio, but Horacio had other ideas and firmly placed the palm of his hand on Javier’s chest, pushing him back down against the cot.

He eyed Javier for a moment, his focus drifting from the way his abdomen spasmed as he panted beneath him; to the way his Adam’s Apple prominently bobbed as he swallowed loudly in anticipation. All the while, only one word ran through his head. Mine.

Horacio leaned forwards and planted his hands back on the pillow on either side of Javier, before he captured his mouth in another searing kiss. He gave an experimental roll of his hips, pressing their groins together and grinding down. Slow, yet deep and emphatic thrusts, ensuring Javier felt every movement through the thin fabric of their underwear.

Javier let out a broken moan, trying but failing to keep the volume low as Horacio immediately brought his finger to Javier’s lips and hushed against his ear, his hot breath fanning over his skin and instantly raising goosebumps. He dragged the pad of his index finger across Javier’s bottom lip before pushing it into his mouth.

Javier willingly took it between his lips, hollowing his cheeks as he eagerly sucked, before swirling his tongue around it and licking his way up and down.

Horacio hissed through gritted teeth, before withdrawing his finger again. He needed more.

He reached for the waistband of Javier’s underwear and unceremoniously yanked them down his narrow hips, roughly dragging the material over his legs and off, before discarding them somewhere in the darkness below. He sat up and speedily wriggled out of his own, before resuming his position over Javier.

Horacio wasted no time in grinding himself against Javier; this time their cocks slickly gliding directly over each other and their kisses now little more than shallow gasps into the other’s mouth.

Javier’s hands roamed the breadth of Horacio’s shoulders, scraping his fingernails down the contours of his upper back muscles and wrapping his legs around his waist, unable to stop his hips from lifting off the cot to fuck himself harder against the weight above him.

Horacio groaned at the increased pressure and retaliated by grabbing Javier’s hands and pinning them above his head with one of his own; his grip firm and steady, whilst his other slid down between their trembling bodies.

He held their cocks in his palm for a moment, allowing them to throb and twitch against each other and sending shockwaves through both of them in turn; each man’s stuttered hip movements and strangled moans spurring the other on.

Horacio began sliding his hand up and down both of their lengths simultaneously, encasing them in his fist as he jerked them off together. He set a brutal pace from the start; the wet, slapping sound of skin meeting skin joining the crescendo of muffled grunts and sighs that were already filling the room.

He couldn’t resist thrusting his hips downwards into his own fist as Javier rapidly bucked upwards to meet him, causing their cocks to rut deliciously against each other, as well as Horacio’s hand.

Their rhythm soon became sloppy and uncoordinated, sweat now glistening on their clammy skin as they drove each other towards the inevitable.

Javier folded first, his hips jerking and thighs clamping tighter around Horacio as he forcefully spurted over himself and into Horacio’s hand. His mouth fell open in a silent cry as he climaxed, his fingers clasping at those still holding him in place, desperately trying to ground himself as intense pleasure flooded his senses.

Horacio continued pumping with his hand and using Javier’s release to aid the motion, coating his length from tip to base as he felt himself on the precipice.

With a few more vigorous strokes, his thrusting ceased and his body tensed as he came all over them both, his own seed mixing with Javier’s. His vision blurred and his grip on Javier’s hands tightened as he fell forwards, their fingers locking together as he bit down on the other man’s shoulder to stifle the ragged growl that slipped from his throat.

Horacio finally released Javier’s hands as he flopped his head down on to the welcoming warmth below, a wave of exhaustion suddenly crashing over him.

Before he realised what he was doing, Javier slid one of his newly freed hands up into the dark, sweaty strands of Horacio’s hair now resting on his chest and carded his fingers through them, as they wordlessly recovered and let the events of the night sink in.

Eventually, Horacio rolled over and Javier reached for a fresh cigarette, which the two men passed back and forth in between languid kisses and light, tender strokes along each other’s spent limbs; a stark contrast to the frenzied explosion they were still recuperating from.

Once they’d finished their smoke, they reluctantly moved off the cot to clean themselves up. After Javier exited the bathroom, he paused in the middle of the two cots, looking from one to the other as if he was being presented with an incomprehensible equation to solve.

“You not joining me, then? I won’t bite...although you seemed to enjoy it when I did,” Horacio teased, his demeanour more relaxed now as he basked in his afterglow.

“You’re pushing your luck, y’know that?” Javier retorted. He made a half-hearted attempt at a scowl, before resuming his place on Horacio’s cot and trying not to let him see the beginnings of a smile tugging at the edges of his mouth.

This time, he allowed himself to be spooned, their bodies pressed up tightly and their legs tangled together as Horacio’s arms slotted around Javier’s waist. This specific situation wasn’t something Javier had much experience of, but part of him wondered if he could get used to it. If he could get used to all of this. Now there was a dangerous thought he never normally allowed himself to indulge.

They lay in a drowsy haze, their fingers entwined over Javier’s stomach as they drifted closer towards sleep; making the most of the last remnants of the darkness that surrounded them, neither keen for the harsh reality of daylight to come too soon.

------------------------------------------------------

Javier woke up alone, squinting as his eyes gradually adjusted to the early morning rays now streaming through the window shutters. He heard movement in the bathroom and the door opened several minutes later to reveal Horacio dressed in his full uniform; his business face firmly back on, even if it was carrying the scars from the previous day’s events. He looked tired and as though he should still be taking it easy, but Javier of all people knew there was no point telling him that.

“Morning,” Javier offered instead, his throat still dry and groggy from sleep.

“Morning. Sorry to rush off, but duty calls. I’ve got to lead a debriefing in half an hour before we head back to Medellín. See you then?”

“Yeah, sure. Of course, I’ll join you shortly,” Javier replied, trying to remain as neutral as possible and pushing down something that felt like pangs of disappointment that he wasn’t entirely prepared for. Of course, he understood, though. They were here to work, after all. “You feeling any better?”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Horacio confirmed, before pausing briefly. “Good, actually,” he added quietly as he made the decision to crouch down next to his cot, his hand coming up to lightly cup Javier’s face.

He ran his thumb along the trail of patchy stubble at his jawline, causing Javier’s eyes to flutter shut at the contact.

Javier’s fingers instinctively curled around Horacio’s wrist, as he nuzzled his cheek against Horacio’s hand before dragging his lips across his knuckles.

Horacio’s breath caught in his throat, as the sensation of soft lips on his fingers again quickly fused together with vivid memories from the night before.

“Fuck, I really have to go,” Horacio half-whispered and half-groaned, as he grudgingly pulled away and stood back up again. “See you soon.”

And with that, Horacio exited their room, leaving Javier to his own thoughts and a growing pool of arousal in his groin that he absolutely didn’t have time to deal with right now. He sighed and reached for a cigarette instead.

------------------------------------------------------

Once Javier was up and dressed, he joined the rest of the Search Bloc for Horacio’s debriefing, not that he could focus on much of it. Instead, he found his gaze involuntarily roaming up and down Carrillo’s form. A mere flex of his bicep triggering a flashback to being pinned to the cot with those very same muscles. His jeans tightened embarrassingly fast as it registered just how much he liked being held down like that. How he was willing to submit to him. How he’d let him do things to him he’d never let anyone else do. How, that now he thought about it, the authoritative tone of his voice stirred something deep inside him that he wasn’t even aware had been resting dormant in his psyche until now. Fuck. He was even more screwed than he’d realised.

He briefly closed his eyes, willing away the thoughts now threatening to run wild. It was so very wrong to be thinking about all of this now, given the reason they were all gathered here in the first place. A cloud of shame descended over him, as he tuned back in to what Horacio was saying. He wasn’t sure if it was a coincidence, or if he’d been thinking too loudly, but the moment he regained focus, he accidentally caught Horacio’s eye.

A dark glint momentarily flashed across Horacio’s pupils, almost as though he knew what Javier had been thinking about, because of course he’d been thinking about it too.

Javier gulped a little too loudly and swiftly bowed his head, suddenly becoming fixated on his own arms folded across his chest. He didn’t look up again until the debriefing was over and Carrillo’s men had begun preparing their transport back to Medellín.

Some members of the Search Bloc had drawn the short straw and were driving back, but Javier and Horacio found themselves in the same helicopter Javier had flown in the previous day. The noise of the chopper made conversation impossible, which suited them both fine in the circumstances. However, the lack of personal space causing their legs to bump against each other, particularly on take-off, did nothing to help their predicament. The friction combined with the vibrations from the engine and their own mental slideshows from the night before was testing their composure to the absolute limit.

Javier could feel his fingers tightly gripping the edge of his seat as he hid behind his aviators, whilst Horacio’s other leg had begun to bounce restlessly as he clenched his fists at his side, his eyes glued firmly on the view out of the window.

After what felt like the longest flight in history, they finally touched down back at base, much to both men’s relief. Although, for now there was no time to dwell further on it, as Horacio was swept along with his men and retreated back to his office to update his superiors on their successful mission. Meanwhile, Javier was due to fly back to Bogotá to catch up with Steve and report to the Ambassador.

Despite their best efforts, they both struggled to concentrate for the rest of their working days. If it wasn’t the memory of how they tasted on each other’s lips and tongues, it was how the other’s scent had lingered on their skin hours later; or how exquisite the sensation of rutting together had been as they made each other fall apart. Not to mention the way they’d held on to each other until dawn with a soothing tenderness that felt increasingly like an imagined dreamscape when contrasted with the jarring reality of their day-to-day lives.

For all of their apparent intentions of keeping whatever they’d started hidden in the dark, the light of day seemingly had other ideas and it was surely only a matter of time before they converged.

#Narcos fic #Narcos #Javier Peña #Horacio Carrillo #Carrillo #Javier Peña x Horacio Carrillo #Javier Peña x Carrillo #Pedro Pascal #Maurice Compte #My Narcos fic #My Fan Fic #Fan Fiction #Fan Fic #Narcos fanfic #Narcos fan fic #Narcos fanfiction #Narcos fan fiction

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fiveisnumber1 · 4 years

Text

Timeless - Five Hargreeves x Reader

Word Count: 3828

Warnings: None

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23

_________________________

Pt 11 - Lost In The Past

You didn't know how long it had been since you started crying but there came a point where you could cry no more. The tears no longer fell and your screams were nothing more than gasps of air. You felt empty like every last bit of emotion inside you was just released into the hollow house. Wiping the tears from your eyes you felt a gentle hand stroke your hair.

"There there, why don't we go get you some food to eat? You must be hungry after all that crying." Grace says

You turn your head to look at her and give her a small nod. Grace extends her hand to help you stand from the floor and when you stand she wraps an arm around you, guiding you to the kitchen. Sitting you down at the kitchen table, Grace starts to cook while you try to come to terms with your new reality. You had so many questions and yet you weren't sure if you had the words to vocalize them.

"Grace?" You call

"Hm?" She replies

"What happened since I've been gone?" You question softly

"Well George W. Bush served as president until 2008 when Barack Obama was elected to the presidency. The company Apple invented the iPhone in 2007 which revolutionized technology by giving phones touch screens. Youtube, Facebook, and other social media platforms grew to international success during the time you were gone. The-" Grace replies but you cut her off

"No, I mean...what happened here?" You say

Grace stops cooking for a second and turns to you.

"Oh. Well, you and Five went missing on the same day eleven years ago and things were never quite the same. Your disappearances took a toll on both your family and ours. I remember that about three years after you left, your parents packed up and moved to wherever they went. They were so distraught and I don't blame them it's very difficult to lose a child. I recall that back then Diego really tried his best to track them down in case you ever came back."

"What happened to Diego? And the others?"

"Diego left the house right when he turned eighteen, and Vanya, Klaus, and Allison left shortly thereafter which happened about six or so years ago. Luther stayed but now he's up on the moon doing some important research for Mr. Hargreeves!"

"You forgot about Ben." You state

"Oh right...Ben. Ben died on a mission in 2006. I don't know if you saw in the courtyard but there's a memorial statue for him there."

"He died?" You reply shocked

Grace nods.

"Yes and that was the straw that broke the camel's back, after you and Five went missing, and Ben's death, the rest of the children had no desire to stay in the house. It's difficult having to lose all your children one by one..." Grace states before putting on a chipper voice "Anyway here's a grilled cheese sandwich!"

"Oh." You say surprised at her quick shift of emotion "Uh, thank you."

"No problem (Y/N). Feel free to walk around the house and if you need anything else just ask! I'll be in the laundry room." Grace says before leaving

As she exits the kitchen and heads upstairs to the laundry room, you stare at the grilled cheese before pushing the plate away and putting your face in your hands. Everything felt like it was moving at a million miles per hour and you couldn't make it stop. You needed to get your mind off of things. Lifting you head out of your hands you stand up and grab your sandwich off the plate and walk towards a calendar on the kitchen wall. It read November 22nd, 2013. You shook your head and decided to leave the room. Strolling out of the kitchen and around the Umbrella Academy, you look at paintings of the former academy members. With each painting, the number of kids grew less and less as if time was making them disappear. You continue to walk around as you eat your sandwich taking in the empty sights. Passing different rooms, memories replayed in your mind so strongly that it was like you were right there in them again. You could practically see and hear the Hargreeves kids running down the halls and fighting with each other in those dumb uniforms they used to wear but you knew those experiences were just in your mind. This building had become a haunted house filled with the ghosts of past memories that would never come back. Looking outside at the snowy scene you decide to brave the elements and head out to the courtyard. This time instead of frantically looking for signs of life you take in the sight of death. You make your way over to the statue of what looks to be an older version of Ben. The statue has a solemn look on its face as it looks down on you.

"I guess you're the only one left here." You comment to the statue

You got no response. You didn't expect one but it was worth a shot. You looked down at the pedestal the statue was on and read the epitaph.

May the darkness within you find peace in the light

You wrote that to him in the journal you gave him for all of your 13th birthdays. Things really had changed while you were gone. With the cold starting to set in, you head back inside and go stand in the parlor next to the fireplace. Looking up at the painting of Five once more, a mix of emotions started churning inside you. Anger, grief, confusion, hurt. All of them overwhelmed you.

"You know this is all your fault Five." You start to rant to the painting "If you hadn't gotten mad about whatever it was you were mad about neither of us would be in this situation."

You pace back and forth in front of the fireplace, your feelings of hurt and anger growing stronger like the flames before you. You continue to yell louder at the painting in front of you,

"Oh leave me alone (Y/N) you wouldn't get it. Bullshit! Do you see what you've done? Look at me! I have no family, no home, no friends, nothing because of you and your stupid superiority complex! All of it is gone! Do you hear me?"

By this point, you were actively staring down the painting, pointing and screaming at it,

"I HAVE NOTHING! NOTHING BECAUSE OF YOU! I LOST EVERYTHING AND THAT INCLUDES MY BEST FRIEND! HOW DARE YOU FIVE! HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Child, yelling at the painting is not going to console your grief." You hear a voice say from behind you

Turning around you find Mr. Hargreeves to be standing there.

"Why do you keep the painting up then?" You retort crossing your arms

"I keep it up to remember the boy." he answers, "I told him not to mess with time travel but he refused to listen."

"He thought he was better than everyone." You comment

"He thought he was better than most people, not all, but most." Reginald replies "Now if you're going to be staying here there are going to be rules that you need to follow."

"Who said I was staying here?" You remark

"You have other accommodations?" He questions

You let out a huff.

"No." you reply annoyed

It was true, you had nowhere else to go and this was probably your only chance of having a home of sorts. You heard the stories of what it was like to live with Reginald and although you didn't want to, you knew that you had no other choice.

"Very well. I will have Pogo inform you of the daily schedule of eating, training, and studying."

"Slow your roll old man, training?" you question raising an eyebrow

"Of course. To develop your powers." He responds blankly

"Listen, if I'm going to live here and have to deal with your rules then I have some conditions. First, I will train my powers and let you research them but do NOT expect me to put on a little uniform and become the only member of the second class of the Umbrella Academy. That's not happening. Second, if you want me to learn something it will wait until the weekend because during the week I want to go to school. Third, I have autonomy of where I go both inside and outside this house. I am not going to live my life solely in one bedroom. Do I make myself clear?" You demand

"I see time hasn't dulled that sharp tongue and insolent attitude of yours." Reginald remarks

"Well what eleven years is to you has been like two hours to me." you retort

"Fine. I agree with your conditions and the schedule will be adjusted accordingly but you MUST stick to it and the house rules or I will not tolerate your requests further." Reginald replies

"Deal." You state curtly

"I'll have Grace deal with your living accommodations. Now keep quiet."

"One more thing. You got his eyes wrong, they're a brighter blue." You say gesturing to the painting of Five

Reginald turns to walk away and you flop down on the couch. This is not what you expected when you woke up that morning...eleven years ago. All of it was still so surreal and you didn't know what to do. So you did nothing, you just laid on the couch staring at the ceiling silently and let the world pass by as it had done already. You didn't notice how much time had gone by until you heard Grace call out,

"(Y/N)!"

"I'm here." You reply sitting up from the couch

"Mr. Hargreeves told me that you're going to be staying with us. I'm so happy to hear that! Now I have the pleasure of being able to take care of you too!" She says happily "Let's get you situated!"

Grace and you walk upstairs and into the hall that housed the former rooms of the children.

"You can pick whichever room you want!" Grace explains "Allison's room is all set up in terms of having girlier items, and Vanya's room is smaller but it's barren so you can decorate it however you want! Luther and Ben's rooms are super organized! We can always redo Klaus or Diego's rooms and there's always Fi-"

"I'll take a look at the rooms and let you know." You quickly shoot out

Grace gives you a slightly shocked look before smiling and saying,

"Oh alright, I'm going to make dinner then. Just let me know before bedtime so I can get some clean sheets for you."

You didn't mean to cut off Grace but Five's room was the only room you didn't check earlier. Going in there wasn't something you were prepared to do right now and it definitely wasn't the one you were going to stay in. It would hurt too much, not only because of all the memories made in there but because it looked right across at your old room which was now frozen in time. Passing the closed door of Five's room you walk down the hall and carefully examine all the other options. You saw that Allison and Luther had two of the largest rooms, and you were surprised you couldn't find a hole cut in their shared wall to secretly enter each others. Nevertheless, Luther had only left recently so you didn't want his room and Allison's room had too much of her stuff in it and you knew even with rearranging you couldn't make it feel like your own. Making your way down the hall you saw Vanya's barren room but decided against it because it was too small. Klaus' room was too messy even though he hadn't been there for years and you felt weird about staying in Ben's room since it was still his when he passed away. All that was left was Diego's room. It wasn't as large as Luther or Allison's but it wasn't as small as Vanya's. You still felt a little awkward about taking it but out of all the options it was the best choice. Hearing a bell ring you went down to the dining room for dinner. Mr. Hargreeves was already there standing behind his seat at the head of the table. You stood behind the seat at the opposite head.

"Sit." He commanded

You sat down and Grace dished out food for both you and Mr. Hargreeves. The dinner was silent, the only sounds were that of the silverware clanking against your plates. When finished you excused yourself from the table. As you were walking away Grace asked,

"Did you pick a room?"

"Ah yes, I'll be staying in Diego's room." You answer

"Well it's not Diego's room anymore silly, it's yours! I'll go get some fresh sheets for the bed."

As you head to Diego's room you quickly get an idea to try and make the room more of your own. Transporting yourself to your old room you grab three items before transporting yourself back to the academy. As you approach Diego's room with the items in your arms you see that Grace had finished making the bed. Entering, you place the items on the desk. The diary replica that your parents gave you, the music box, and the teddy bear that Five gave you. It wasn't much but the items comforted you. Putting on a pair of pajamas you got ready for bed. As you pulled the bedsheets down Grace appeared behind you in the doorway and said,

"Goodnight (Y/N), sleep well."

She started to walk away when you called out,

"Grace?"

"Yes (Y/N)?" she replies

"Do you- do you think you could tuck me in?"

You saw as her expression was both happy and sad in a way. Like there was a piece missing that you somehow filled with that question.

"Of course," She replied a smile coming on to her face

You got into the bed and Grace happily tucked you in. Pulling the covers a top of she couldn't help but feel a sense of completeness that she lost years ago. The house had been so empty since all the kids left, but now she had someone to take care of and although the circumstances were less than great for you she wanted to make sure that she could give you the best. Quietly, she turned the light off and closed the door so you could fall asleep.

After that day the Hargreeves house had become your home. Over the next month, you moved most of your stuff from your old room to your new one. Having your stuff helped to make the transition easier although it also made you miss your past. To pass the time, you religiously wrote in the replica diary about each day but instead of writing dear diary for each entry, you wrote Dear Five. You hoped that if he came back one day you could give him the diary to read about what you were up to so it was like he was always there with you. With some help, you got enrolled in school but wouldn't start until after winter break. Even as you settled into the routine of training and living, you still felt all the emotions that you had that first day. You knew you wouldn't get over them immediately but you wished you had a better outlet. Going to Grace one day you asked her,

"Grace, do you have any ideas on how to get these negative feelings out in a healthy way? I know they won't go away but I'm hoping I can make them less strong."

"Hmm. Well if you put the energy that you spend on those feelings into different activities it might help. You could play the piano again or you can take up a physical sport. I heard boxing is really good for taking negative energy out." Grace responds "Actually I think there is a boxing club in the area. How about you check it out tomorrow?"

"Alright, I can try that. Do you think they're open though, it is Christmas Eve." You reply

"If my knowledge is correct, this one is open 365 days a year." Grace replies

You nodded and once you had figured out where it was you put on exercise clothes. Grace bundled you up in a warm jacket and with that, you walked your way over to the boxing club. Entering you approached a desk where an old man sat.

"Hi, I'd like to learn to box." You say

"You're a little small to learn, don't you think?" He replies

"I have a hundred dollars that say I'm not too small." You state holding up the bill

"Can't argue with that." The old man says taking the cash

He escorts you over to a punching bag.

"Wait here, I'll get you someone to teach you." He says before turning his attention "Hey Kraken, get your ass over here. I need you to teach this kid."

Slowly a man steps out of the boxing ring where he was practicing and walks over to where you and the old man are. The old man walks away as the younger man takes off his gear. He says,

"Hey, I'm-"

But he stops abruptly. The man just stares at you blankly.

"Are you okay?" You ask

"Sorry, you look like someone I used to know." He says

Something about this man felt familiar but you couldn't place it. The man sticks out his hand to shake yours. You go to shake it but when you look down at his wrist he has an all too familiar marking there, a tattoo of an umbrella in a circle. You look at the tattoo before looking up again at the man and start to recognize the features of the boy you used to know, now all grown up.

"Diego?" you question softly

"H-h-how did you know my name?" He stutters

"I knew it because you do know me. It's me, (Y/N)," you reply softly

You can see the confusion on his face turn into a softer expression. Although it might not have been evident to his other siblings, Diego was a deeply emotional person and you saw that exact look you were seeing in his eyes many times before when you two were younger.

"No. It can't be. You look exactly the same, you should be my age" He questions, the emotion on his face becoming more evident

"Accidentally traveling through time will do that to you. Please you have to believe me Eggo." You begged

He was having doubts that it was truly you but that all went away when you called him that name. It was a dumb nickname you gave him when one time Luther refused to let go of him. You kept exclaiming "let go my eggo" as you tried to use your powers to get Luther off. No one else but you ever knew of that. Tears formed in Diego's eyes but quickly after he wrapped his arms around you and picked you up.

"Hey everyone! My sister is back! We thought she went missing but she's back!" Diego exclaims to the people in the boxing club

There are some cheers and congratulations shouted from across the gym as Diego puts you back down. For so long he hoped that you would come back and now here you were like a Christmas miracle. You were more like a sibling to him in the short amount of time he knew you than his own siblings were. Instead of learning to box the two of you talked. You explained everything that you had gone through and your current living situation. He didn't like that you were living in that house with his father but he knew that he didn't have the means to house you nor properly take care of you. One thing he did know is that he was going to make sure that after all this misery you could have a better life. Even though time had gone on and he was older now you were still like a sister to him but now you were his little sister and he was determined to protect you from any harm the world might throw your way. He was going to be the best older brother he could be to you and make sure that you would not have to face the life he did.

And so for the next five years, Diego was there for every important moment in your life, always trying to support you and make it better. He dropped you off on your first day of school when spring semester rolled around and every first day after. He went to every piano recital you had and sat front row. When there was a father-daughter dance fundraiser he went to make sure you weren't alone. He trained you and coached you in boxing and was there for every single match. He planned a huge sweet 16 birthday party using what money he had. He was the one who took you on your first college visits when you were 17. He took time out of his days to practice working on your powers. For everything, he was there and on top of that, he regularly took you out of the house to spend time with you. You were his little sister, his true sister and he wanted you to know it.

Along with everything Diego did for you, you were grateful for some of the things you had gotten in the Hargreeves house. After about a year or so you stopped calling Grace by her name and started to call her mom. If androids could cry tears of joy Grace would have the first time that word left your mouth. Pogo had convinced Reginald to get you a piano play and in an odd act of kindness, he did. Along with that, your powers developed greatly under the supervision of Reginald and Pogo. You were able to do more in terms of manipulating the molecules in the world around you and were able to start seeing disturbances in them as well. Life wasn't perfect but through the years it got easier. But although you were growing up and trying to move on with your life, even after all those years Five never left your mind for a second. You missed him greatly and hated that the last words the two of you shared were ones of anger. You wondered if he was still mad at you. Each moment of every day Five still consumed your mind and you hoped that wherever he was, in another time and place, that he was doing okay and that one day he would come back to you.

Check out the side story here:

The Missing Five Years - “Lost In The Past” Side story

Taglist: @xplrreylo @joebob15274 @insatiable-ivy @fruitsaladtree @angelpeachamber @academy-umbrella @lizziel1410 @ir3neeee @faith-quake @aliens-with-colas @eddiomyspaghettio @lady-celeste25 @im-dead-and-hurting @nerdypinupcrystal @cherry-ki-d @anapocalypseinmymind @vicassa @2cuteforyourlies @taylorsmakingfuckingmacandcheese @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @cheshire-salvatore-mikaelson @shadowycreationcupcake @macaroni-mads @metor-showers1994 @fivehargreevesforthewin @rinko-san @supernovavision @cicilisthebest @flickbix @hi-v-juice @magykal-777 @zosiaduda

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stxvercgersslut · 4 years

Text

Apologise

Description: Jake’s been ignoring Y/n for weeks and only spending time with his friends over his own girlfriend. But after while she had finally had enough. One day she decides to confront him.

A/n: I just had to write this😂 after rewatching the film a few days ago how could I resist? It just needed to be written 😂 (I also made it modern time btw just so it was easier to write for 😂) yeah I know that this is extremely angsty but I promise that there’s a whole lot a fluff at the end so the angsty part is definitely worth it 🥺💞 Jake is one of my ultimate loves that definitely needs some more loving then he got 🥺I didn’t plan on making this a fucking novel but here we are 😂

A/n: and okay yeah this is once again another submission for @stargazingfangirl18 and @navybrat817 writing challenge how could I not? 😂

Prompts: 2. “Can you just not right now?”and 14. “Did I...fall asleep on you??”

Warnings: Mentions of smut (nothing too descriptive), argument, being ignored, language, mentions of parents dying, mentions of weight loss, just a whole lot of angst, mentions of being poor and small bit of fluff at the end.

Temporary tag list: @jtargaryen18 & @et-lesailes

For weeks Jake has been neglecting you. Much rathering to play football with Reggie Ray and Austin then even hang out with you, his girlfriend of literally almost 1 year. How the hell did that even make sense? You were his girlfriend! Surely you were more important then some football game right? Well wrong! Apparently football was his only love. You’d always come in second to all of that.

Over the course of those insanely long 8 weeks that he’d been pushing you aside you had managed to keep your calm, just ignoring it. Thinking maybe he’d just been having a tough time studying for finals and training for football season. But as time continued to pass, still no texts, calls or even a FaceTime, you began to fear that your once loving relationship with Jake was steadily coming to a almighty close. Something that really did scare the life out of you. You loved Jake with all your heart and to lose him over the fact that he’d rather play football with his friends then hangout with you would send your heart into meltdown. No way could you let this happen to the both of you.

The pair of you were pretty much inseparable during the early stages of your relationship, always opting to spend time over at his house in the warmth then be at home where not even your heater worked. Obviously his sister still trying to fuck him was a huge problem for you, usually making you uncomfortable whenever you were ther but Jake had assured you that nothing was going on between them. Besides, he was just as uncomfortable (if more so) as you were with the immeture and disgusting way Catherin was acting around her BROTHER!

You came from a much poorer family then Jake did. But, surprisingly to you, Jake hadn’t actually seemed to care that you didn’t have any money. In fact he actually much preferred it sometimes since he had gotten to spoil you rotten with peculiar gifts and meals at fancy restaurants that almost 100% of the time just weren’t your style. Yeah he was a asshole sometimes but that didn’t mean that you didn’t love him. Most days you even struggled to pay your rent in your lonely one bedroom apartment that you’d moved into once your parents had past away last year. But no matter how many times Jake had attempted to lend you some of his inheritance in order to help pay rent, you never wanted to take it. Too afraid you’d have to pay it back somehow. There was even a time where Jake had offered for you to move in with him, not that his parents would have agreed with that, yet he didn’t seem to care. Food was hard to come by when you were at home, so whenever Jake had been able to, He’d make sure that you ate or at least tried to eat since he knew that you struggled a lost due to the fact that before you’d started dating him it was hard to get food. You mattered way more to him at the beginning. But right now it didn’t seem like he really seemed to care even a little. No more being at his house for warmth, no daily check ups, no food payed for and no offers to help pay for rent. It was like he’d retracted back to his old self. This wasn’t the Jake you had fallen in love him. He’d changed.

But nonetheless, the tenderness between the pair of you was irreplaceable. So of course you couldn’t just let this come between what the two of you had. But this was going to be a tough one to crack! Especially since you literally hadn’t talked to Jake for 8 WHOLE WEEKS!!! That’s right two months with barely any contact apart from when you were sitting at lunch listening to him blabber on about football or some damn movie he’s watching with his mates. Come on y/n think! It can’t be that hard to figure something out can it?

❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅

There it was again! That unnecessary tension rearing it’s ugly head once again at your usual table in the cafeteria. Jake, being the popular dick he was right now, had made himself comfortable next to you. Slowly taking one quick glance at you before once again completely ignoring you without a second thought. 8 weeks of this bullshit! It was a Miracle that you hadn’t murdered him already for neglecting you the way that he had been doing for 2 whole fucking months! So of course it was understandable that you snapped. Just listening to his smug laugh as he laughed and joked with Austin about the new hot chic was enough to set your entire body on fire.

With a stern look on your face you finally began to talk. Worth a shot right? “So I was won—“ you began as you attempted begin a normal conversation with you boyfriend, not really giving two shits about the fact that you were interrupting his dirty minded talk with Austin since you didn’t really care for the blonde. But before you could even get 10 words out Jake had already stopped you “y/n I’m in the middle of talking with my friend.” He cockily spoke with a shit eating grub appearing on his face for a millisecond before he turned back to his mates in hopes of continuing his ‘innocent’ conversation. Oh but that was not at all what happened. “Oh my bad! Didn’t realise that me literally about to invite you over for sex was me interrupting you. Silly me. I’m only your girlfriend!” You bit back, your glare completely fixed on Jake, not even caring that Austin, Reggie Ray and Malik all now has their mouths wide open in shock like they were having a fly collecting contest. You were half expecting Jake to nervously laugh it off and practically beg for you to forgive him, resulting in a quickie in the janitors closest. But that wasn’t what happened at all. In fact no amount of overthinking could prepare you for Jakes next choice of words.

“Can you just not right now?” The raven haired boy pressed with a insanely serious look on his face now. All thoughts that he might have just been joking had left your head completely. Hearing those words coming from Jakes mouth were like daggers pressing into your head and twisting Infinitely. Not only had it been a shock to you but it had also been a shock to everyone on the table. Jake Wyler, the most popular jock, refusing sex? Most importantly refusing you? What the hell was wrong with him? Oh you intended to find out. But for now you just stood up, shooting one more hurt glare towards your boyfriend before turning on your feet and leaving your spot at the table. Instead seating yourself on a table further away from them so that you didn’t risk another hurtful comment. Now this really was getting out of control.

❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅

Currently, for some unknown reason, YOU were sitting on the large length couch at some unknown douchbags house as you sipped from your red cup. Eyes scanning the room eagerly in an attempt to spot your dick head of a boyfriend. Even if you hadn’t Necessarily been accomanied by Jake to the party you knew for sure that he was a party animal. So why on earth would he miss this? Especially since the place was filled with doubly intoxicated high school students who most certainly were underage drinking. But then again so were you.

However, as you say there waiting for your raven haired beauty of a boyfriend to walk through those doors and unintentionally avoid you once again, you continued to run over your incredibly thought out plan in your head. Knowing with every bone in your body that this plan was most certainly going to get his attention, if not make him throw you over his shoulder, take you back to his place and fuck you until you can’t walk for at least a week. Yeah maybe you were secretly hoping for that second one.

6 drinks in Jake finally arrived at the party, accompanied by Reggie Ray and that stupid smug looking blonde ashole who you had conveniently forgotten the name of at this point. Only this time your raven haired boyfriend actually acknowledged that you were even there by letting his eyes scan over your perfectly curvy body. Which tonight was barely even covered by that incredibly revealing outfit that consisted of: a risky white vest like short with a very thin material that let your light pink bra peak out underneath the fabric, paired with a nude coloured leather skirt that barely covered your ass and some beautiful black boots to accompany the rest of your outfit. Of course this particular get up just so happened to be the only sexy outfit that you owned due to the fact that Jake had bought this for your birthday when you had only just started dating. You could definitely still remember him insisting that you wore this exact outfit to any party he took you to. So why waste it? After all it was just hanging up in your closet.

Even from 5 feet away from him you could still hear the cogs working away in his brain as your outfit caught his attention instantly. And in a matter of moments he was already sauntering over to you. Step one: Grab his attention complete. Oh but he wasn’t going to win that easy. No way was that going to happen! You hadn’t just come to this party wearing such a risky choice of clothing that was so out of your comfort zone to just let him win so easily.

“Hey baby, you wanna dance?” Jake asked with a slight smirk on his face, almost as if he was pretending like all of that god awful neglect hadn’t happened. Which you weren’t going to forget about. But this was operation get Jake jealous after all so you really did have to forget about what he’d been doing, at least for a few hours so that you could continue on with your plan.

Step two: dance with another hot jock who wasn’t Jake. After careful consideration you finally picked your target. Austin. Why? Because you knew for a fact that you dancing with Jakes asshole teenage playboy of a best friend was definitely going to make him jealous. “Sure” you teased, pausing for just the perfect amount of time for Jake to walk closer to you and almost grab your hand before you continued on “just not with you” there it was! Almost a millisecond after the last syllable had left your mouth! That gorgeous face of Jakes contorting into a look of pure jealousy just from those four simple words. “Not with me huh? If I’m not mistake I’m your boyfriend, so why won’t you dance with me?” Jake questioned whilst he still continued to attempt to grab at your waist, failing miserably every single time since you dodged him.

Those words in themselves were enough to light the fire in the pit of your stomach. Reminding you exactly why you had come up with this devious plan in the first place. Jake needed to learn a lesson and he needed to learn it now! Or else you’d most likely end up breaking up with him. “Because I don’t want to dance with my neglectful boyfriend.” You spat back before sauntering over to where Austin was standing, grabbing onto his hand and with no word of warning pulling him onto the makeshift dance floor.

Fiftheen minuets had dragged on by as Jakes eyes remained glued to your figure. Red hot anger coursing through him every time he watched your ass grind up against his friends crotch. Was this pay back for him treating you like your were worthless for 2 months? Because if it was then this was some carefully planned out payback that was not going to be working out in your favour later. “What the fuck!” Jake seethed. The sight of you now grinding against Austin’s very noticeable buldge was the fine straw! Causing him to leap out of his chair, rush over to the dance floor, throw you over his shoulder and walked out of the room with you kicking and screaming for him to put you down. Finally putting an end to your hideous plan all together. This most certainly hadn’t been how you had expected this to go but boy oh boy were you excited to see what happened next.

It wasn’t until Jake practically threw you onto a king sized bed and began yelling at you that you realised that this wasn’t going to end in sex. Or at least for the time being it wasn’t “Austin?? Of all fucking people you could have grinded up against you chose that bastard? What the fuck y/n?!” Jake spoke, anger clear in his tone as he fists clenched together in the dark room. “Do you really think that was the greatest of ideas huh? Embarrassing me infront of almost everyone? You really are a fucking bitch sometimes!” Oh how he wished he could turn back time and retract those words. Jake regretted those words as soon as they had left his mouth.

But unfortunately it was too late, he’d already hit a nerve inside of you that had been so desperate to appear this entire time! “You’re really asking me what the fuck all of that was about? Seriously Jake you don’t know? You don’t know that you’ve been ignoring me for the past 2 months for no fucking reason and doing god knows what?” Oh you were beyond finished at this point. “Embarrassing you? I embarrassed you? Really? That’s rich coming from the man who embarrassed me infront of our entire high school in the cafetière by practically telling me to shut up infront of everyone when I was actually going to invite you over for sex? You don’t need to know why I did what I did. But I deserve a ducking explanation as to why you’ve been neglecting me for two months and ignoring me any chance that you get! I’m the one that should be asking what the fuck! Have you fallen out of love with me Jake? Are you cheating on me? What is it? Why are you ignoring me whenever I try to talk to you? I’m your girlfriend don’t you think I deserve a explanation?” And with that the tears began to fall from your eyes. Oh no you’d released a damn. This definitely wasn’t going away anytime soon. Shit. Every single word that has been said was unfortunately true. Now all that was left to do was wait for Jakes reaction.

Every single one of your words were like tiny daggers sticking into his chest. But every tear that fell from your eyes was poison strong enough to kill him. How had he let this go on for so long? How had he not seen how disgusting he was being around you? How had he not realised he’d stopped treating you like his girlfriend and more like a slut? He really had destroyed the only perfect girl in his life and what for? Some stupid football game and some boring study sessions with his private tutor that his parents had provided? This wasn’t right! None of this was right. Oh god how could he fix this?

“Baby....I—“ the Raven haired boy began, swallowing thickly as he took large steps towards you. Once again scooping you into his arms. But this time once you were in his arms he laid back down with you. Ignoring your weak struggles to get out of his grin before you finally calmed down and relaxed into his touch. Still sniffling due to all of the tears that had been falling from your eyes.

For the rest of the party Jake made it his mission to give you bet might of your life. Ignoring his friends and instead focusing all of his attention onto you without a doubt trying to make it up to you. Of course every so often he’d whisper a apology in your ear or kiss you deeply in an attempt to mend his guilty conscience once and for all. But nothing seemed to help at all.

❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅

By the time you woke up at exactly 12:04pm the next day, you’d found yourself wrapped up in Jakes arms as he began placing gentle kisses against the back of your neck and shoulder. Something he’d been doing for the last several minutes. “Morning beautiful” he mumbled upon noticing you were awake. “Hmmmm...morning Jake..” you hummed back blissfully as you turned round in his arms. Happily staring him in his beautoful baby blue eyes before kissing him deeply just enjoying the moment.

After a very tired Make out session your eyes seemed to widen in horror as you looked down at your almost completely nude body, a little confused as to why you weren’t completely naked or even wearing Jakes shirt. That just didn’t seem right. “Did....I fall asleep on you?” The words in itself causing you to cringe. But you never did receive a actual answer. Instead you were answered with a loud laugh before your boyfriends lips were back on yours. Instantly getting on top of you to finish what you had started the night before.

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inkweaver22-blr · 3 years

Text

Welcome to chapter 14!

This one has been a long time coming, and I’m not just talking about how long it took me to write.

Fair warning: we see the return of why this fic is marked with an explicit violence tag.

Hope you enjoy!

AO3 Link

Scattered Cicadas - Chapter Fourteen: Monkey Sees, Monkey Silenced

Tang is the Monkie Kid! Or should that be the Monkey Kid?

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Tang wondered why it had taken so long for a cycle like this one to happen. He tightened his grip on the Ruyi Jingu Bang as he solemnly watched the city shrink into the distance.

He and MK were swapped in this cycle. Tang was a young 24 year old delivery boy who lived above Pigsy’s Noodles and had a thirst for knowledge. MK, or Mr. Xiaotian, as Tang referred to him, was a 41 year old art professor at the local university who liked to tell Tang stories about the Monkey King.

That meant Tang was Wukong’s successor in this timeline. Or at least, he would be once he met the Monkey King at Flower Fruit Mountain. They were all currently on Sandy’s ship, sailing for the Flaming Mountains that surrounded the island paradise.

Tang took a breath as he felt the magic of the staff flow through him. He had noticed the transfer of the Monkey King’s powers into him the moment he had picked it up. It was very different to any other magics or powers he had in the past.

It was a raw, wild, and pure strength that dwarfed any of his previous skills in terms of power. Tang could feel it swirling inside him. The numerous different abilities all seemed to flow into each other and filled him to almost bursting with great destructive potential. He would have to learn how to properly control them to avoid causing too much collateral damage.

MK had managed to do so countless times before, and Tang himself had many experiences with learning new powers over the cycles. How hard could it be?

Tang turned his attention to the ring of volcanoes they were approaching. He wasn’t sure how closely he would have to stick to the original timeline, but decided not to push his luck with the more important events. That meant he would have to lose the staff when confronted by Princess Iron Fan.

That shouldn’t be too difficult. He may have trained with a long pole-type weapon, but it had been a long time since he had been able to practice. Not to mention how one wielded a staff was much different from how you would wield a guandao. Tang would have no problem losing this fight.

Now he only hoped he would be blasted in the right direction to land on Flower Fruit Mountain instead of into a pool of lava.

----------

Luckily for Tang, he was indeed launched in the proper direction. Landing on the beach would have hurt a lot more had it not been for his new power of invulnerability.

Tang watched as the waterfall curtain parted at his touch, making sure to appear suitably impressed. That wasn’t too hard considering he had always needed either Wukong or MK to open it for him in the past.

He entered the cave and looked around, calling out for the Monkey King. Tang approached the mural at the back of the cave, and felt magic flow into his eyes unbidden. The world around him turned into shining shades of gold as his True Sight activated.

Tang watched in awe as the figures on the mural seemed to come to life and began reenacting moments from the famous journey. He may have memories of actually living these events, but seeing them now was still something special.

In front of him was Wukong becoming Tripitaka’s disciple. Over there was Zhu Bajie and Sha Wujing fighting with some demons. Off in the corner was MK, Mei, Pigsy, Sandy, and Wukong standing over his unconscious body. Then there was Macaque, the gold and silver twins, and Spider Queen. Bai Long Ma trotted past with Tripitaka on his back.

Wait, what?

Tang whirled back around to the forms of his family and himself.

No, he had not imagined it. Laying on the ground was the sleeping form of his normal 41 year old self. Projections of the five people he considered his closest family were standing nearby. Sandy and Pigsy seemed to be having a conversation, Wukong was lounging on his tail, and Mei and MK, who was in his normal young form, were looking around the cave.

MK’s and Tang’s eyes met.

The young man seemed to explode into motion as he grabbed the attention of the others and began excitedly pointing at the scholar. The five began waving frantically at him, and Tang, at a complete loss as to what was happening, gave a halfhearted wave back.

Their reaction to that was much more extreme.

MK and Mei were jumping in place as they hugged in joy. Sandy was grinning as he waved both arms even harder. Wukong performed a back flip before pumping his fist in the air. Pigsy looked like he was laughing so hard that tears were rolling down his face.

Tang was absolutely baffled.

Wary of some kind of trick, he looked around the cave once more. With his True Sight active, he saw no signs of anything that could potentially be a trap. He did spot one of the projections of Wukong smirk at him before turning to run out of the cave, however.

Squinting in suspicion at the still celebrating group, Tang decided he would deal with it later. Letting the magic fade from his eyes, he chased after the Monkey King. He did his best to push the strange encounter out of his mind so he could focus on the task at hand.

----------

Fighting Demon Bull King using the full strength of the Monkey King’s power had been quite the rush. Tang felt a little bad about all the extra damage he had caused, but most of it had already been dealt by DBK so he supposed it was worth it to take him down.

Sighing in exhaustion, Tang prepared for bed. As he moved around his small apartment, his eyes caught the glow of the street lamps reflecting off his window, making it shine gold.

Oh right. Those projections of his family from earlier.

With a groan, Tang decided sleep would have to wait. He took a seat in his desk chair and took a deep breath. It took a bit of focus, but he was able to push magic into his eyes and activate his True Sight.

The world turned gold and the group appeared to his left near the kitchenette. Tang swiveled his chair around and watched as they noticed him studying them and began to wave excitedly once more. It looked like they were all saying something, yet no sound emanated from them.

Well that complicated a few things. Getting answers from them would be a lot harder without them being able to properly answer.

“You know I can’t hear anything you’re saying, right?”

The group froze at that, before quickly turning to each other and discussing amongst themselves.

“To be honest, I’m not sure if I trust what I’m seeing,” Tang said, catching their attention once more. “You all certainly look like my family, and Wukong’s True Sight can’t be fooled. But I’ve been through quite a bit of cosmic bullshit to know to be wary of what appears to be people I care about standing over what looks like my unresponsive body.”

The group glanced down at said body and began to shuffle around in awkward embarrassment.

“So here’s what we’re going to do.” Tang pointed at the projection of MK. “You, MK, are going to do your best to act out what’s going on. The rest of you,” he turned to the others, “are not to offer any help or instruction in any way, understand?”

They all reluctantly nodded, looking confused.

“Good. Begin whenever you’re ready.”

Tang watched as the young man did his best to act something out. As the performance continued, Tang felt the suspicion slowly ease and a smile grew on his face.

“Well I know for certain now,” he said once MK had finished. “No matter the timeline, you will always be terrible at charades, MK. No one could ever pretend to do that poorly.”

MK exploded with indignity as the others laughed at him. He crossed his arms in a huff and only turned back to the group once Wukong ruffled his hair playfully.

Tang smiled again as he watched the interaction. Being a good actor came with the ability to tell when others were acting as well. The reactions he was seeing were much too genuine to be faked.

“Okay, I believe you aren’t here for any malicious purposes. But now that I know I can trust you all, how can we go about figuring this out?” Tang drummed his fingers on the armrest of his chair. “I could ask you yes or no questions, but without the right ones we could go in circles for hours. Writing out the alphabet and pointing to each letter until we spell out a word would take just as long.”

Tang stood and tried to approach the group. As he did, their projections moved with him, staying a set distance away and phasing through the wall out into the open air. He moved back and turned in place. The group did not move with him this time, remaining in the spot they had appeared.

“Well so much for seeing if we could physically interact,” he said once he sat back down in his chair.

His family seemed just as stumped as he was. They all were talking back and forth before Wukong suddenly jumped up, waving for attention.

“You have an idea, Wukong?”

The monkey nodded before sitting in a meditative pose. After remaining still for a few moments, he took his hands and placed them on his chest. He pulled them away and cupped them before him and began to inspect them closely. It took a couple repetitions before Tang understood what he was trying to say.

“You want me to manifest my soul?”

Wukong nodded as Mei said something to MK, causing him to pout.

“Don’t tease MK, Mei,” Tang said as he got into his own meditative position. “There’s nothing wrong with not being able to act out complex ideas.”

The group all just stared at him in surprise.

“I may not be able to read bad acting, but body language is easy enough to understand,” he said as he began to focus. “Now give me a moment.”

Manifesting his soul while keeping the True Sight active was a bit tricky. He had learned this ability back during the cycle with the copy of Tripitaka sealed into a statue, but never had to use it at the same time as another power. It took him longer than usual, but he was eventually able to bring his soul forward.

It looked the same as it always did. Many strands of light loosely wrapped into the vague shape of a sphere and plenty of empty space in the center. The strand that pointed off into infinity was leading out the window above Tang’s bed. It had taken him a few cycles to realize it always pointed to the West.

“Okay, so what am I looking-” Tang trailed off when he spotted something new.

A second strand was leading off from his soul. It pointed in the exact opposite direction of the first, heading East. It ended at one of the little knots that represented the larger pieces of his soul.

It was positioned directly above the form of his unconscious body.

The others seemed to be able to see the strands as Wukong pointed at the knot floating above his body and began to mouth out a word.

“Start?”

Wukong nodded and pointed towards the strand leading out the window and said another word.

“End.”

Grinning enthusiastically, he finally pointed at the soul in Tang’s hands and said one last word.

“Now.”

Tang’s breath caught.

He knew the strand leading into the West was connected to all the remaining pieces of his soul and would eventually have an end once he reached the last one. He knew his soul looked the way it did to represent how much of it he had managed to gather currently.

That left the start.

Several pieces began to fall into place.

“You’re- You’re the voices I hear calling out my name at the start of each cycle.” Tang absently returned his soul and he stood and stared at the smiling group.

They nodded in affirmation.

Tang’s breath became shallow.

“Are you- Are you from my original timeline?”

The group burst into joyous celebration, nodding and giving each other high fives.

Tang sat back onto his chair in shock.

His family, his first family, were standing only a few feet away.

He didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or cry.

A sharp pain flashed behind his eyes before he could do either, and he grasped his head as it began to throb.

“Gah!”

He glanced up to see the group now watching him with concern. Wukong was gesturing at his own eyes, closing them slowly in exaggeration. Despite the pain, Tang was able to understand the message.

“Turn off the True Sight?”

Wukong nodded.

“But- ack!” The pain grew sharper. “But I have so many questions!”

Pigsy glared sternly at him and pointed to his bed. Sandy gave a comforting smile and pointed at the ground they were standing on.

Go to sleep and we’ll be here when you come back.

“Fine. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Wukong shook his head sadly and held up three figures.

“Three days?!” Tang gasped as the pain continued to build. “Shit! Okay, fine. Three days.” Tang gave them all one last look over. “I’ll see you then.”

They all gave him a thumbs up and Tang released his hold on the True Sight. He sighed in relief as the pain lessened slightly. His apartment looked much darker without the golden light filling everything.

Tang made his way into bed, physically and emotionally tired. He hated that he would have to wait for his answers. None of this made any sense.

His head throbbed painfully as he tried to think about what had just happened. Resigning himself to not being able to come to any sort of conclusion on his own, he settled down to sleep.

At least he had three days to come up with the proper questions he would need to ask. Hopefully the rest of the cycle would continue as normal so he could get some answers.

----------

The Wukong from his own time had been right when he had told him to wait three days before activating the True Sight again. The massive headache Tang had from overusing it lasted the entire time. It had distracted him during the incident with the weather station on the second day, making him quickly lose control of his abilities.

The seal this timeline’s Wukong had placed on his powers so he could control them helped a bit. The sharp pounding had only receded to a dull throb, but Tang found it to be a drastic improvement. He was able to take down Red Son and rescue his family fairly quickly afterwards.

It was currently the evening of the third day and Tang was making his way back to Pigsy’s Noodles after making his final delivery for the night. He drummed the steering wheel impatiently as he waited in traffic. His headache was completely gone so he could finally get some answers tonight once he was alone in his apartment.

The nerves and excitement eventually got to him and Tang began to take shortcuts down less used side streets to get back quicker. A few blocks away from the shop, he turned down one final alley that was shrouded in darkness, not thinking much of it.

He really should have expected being forcibly pulled from the vehicle and slammed up against the wall.

Before Tang could react, something was slapped against his chest and he felt the access to his powers cut off entirely while his body became paralyzed.

“So this is the Golden Boy’s so-called successor,” said a familiar voice. “Can’t say I’m too impressed.”

Tang’s blood ran cold as he stared up into the sneering face of the Six Eared Macaque. He did his best to struggle but whatever the shadow demon had done had left him completely immobilized.

“Don’t know why he would pick a weak little human like you. Your kind has such terrible senses. You didn’t even notice my presence until it was too late.” Macaque eyed Tang up and down, frowning in disapproval.

“He could have at least found another monkey like us. Would have been way more thematic.” Macaque smirked as he held up a small purple gem with a spiked point. “Luckily I have a way to fix that.”

Sweat rolled down the side of Tang’s face as he watched in fear while Macaque positioned the spiked end of the gem against the base of his throat.

“You can thank me for this later,” Macaque said with a manic and sinister grin.

Macaque stabbed the gem into his neck.

The paralyzing effect holding Tang in place broke and he convulsed on the ground as purple electricity raced across his body.

The last thing he was aware of was the sound of Macaque’s laughter mixing with his own screams before he mercifully blacked out.

----------

Tang slowly regained consciousness.

He didn’t have the dream about the cave so that meant it was still the same cycle. Whatever Macaque had done hadn’t killed him this time.

Although Tang wasn’t sure if the full body ache and fire in his throat was a better outcome.

He was in a bed he realized, and there were faint voices he could just pick up.

Not having the energy to move, he did his best to focus on what was being said.

“-managed to remove the second seal blocking his powers, but left the one that allows him to control them,” said a voice Tang didn’t recognize.

“What about the choker? Were you able to remove it?” Tang recognized Wukong’s worried tone right away.

“That is one nasty piece of jewelry,” said the first voice with a sigh. Tang assumed it was a healer of some kind. “One of its effects is that should anyone other than the one who put it on the victim remove it, the victim would immediately die.”

There were several sharp intakes of breath.

“That’s only one of the effects?” Mr. Xiaotian was here as well it seemed. Were they all waiting for him? “What all does this thing do?”

“There’s only three curses I detected,” said the healer. “You’ve seen the physical changes of the first, and know the dangers of the second. The third is perhaps the most cruel however.

“Your young friend is no longer capable of physically communicating complex thoughts or ideas.”

What?

“What does that mean?!” Pigsy sounded angry, but Tang could notice the undercurrent of fear. “Are you saying he’s lost his intelligence?”

“Not at all. His thoughts will just be trapped in his own mind and he will be unable to share them.”

Tang felt fear begin to gnaw at him.

The healer sighed once more, this time sounding saddened.

“It is truly an insidious curse.

“He’s been rendered completely mute, so he can’t talk. If he were to attempt using sign language, he would temporarily lose the coordination of his hands and fingers. Anything he will try to write or type out would end up as incomprehensible gibberish.

“The best he would be able to do is point at things and shake his head yes or no.”

Tang was suddenly cold.

That was…

No.

No no no no!

He couldn’t lose his ability to communicate! Not this cycle!

He finally had a lead to how this had all started! He needed to be able to ask his family from the original timeline questions!

Who knew when he would ever have access to Wukong’s True Sight again? If it ever happened at all?

Tang struggled to open his eyes, hissing in pain as the light filled his vision. He raised his arm to block it out, only to pause at what he saw.

Hadn’t the healer said there had been a curse that caused physical changes?

Bright golden-yellow fur covered his arm, and his hand had been replaced with a paw.

Ignoring his protesting body, Tang sat up and looked around. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, but it appeared he didn’t need them any more.

He wasn’t in a hospital. The room was set up in a traditional style with the typical furniture one would find in a guest room.

Tang found what he was looking for when he spotted the full length mirror on the opposite side of the dresser.

He climbed out of the bed and made his way over, doing his best to move past the pain.

Tang stepped in front of the mirror.

A monkey with golden-yellow fur, cream colored face and chest, and silver face markings that resembled an open book stared back.

Around the monkey’s neck was a black metal choker, the flat side of the purple gem at its center.

“He could have at least found another monkey like us. Luckily I have a way to fix that.”

Ah. So that’s what Macaque had meant.

Tang pressed his trembling fingers against the glass.

He really shouldn’t be so surprised. It had happened to MK so many times that he should have expected it to happen to him as well.

So why did he feel so numb?

Tang opened his mouth to try and say something, to try and prove the healer wrong. To convince himself this wasn’t actually happening.

But the only sound that came out was a raspy breath.

“Hey, bud?” Wukong poked his head through the door, frowning at Tang in worry when he saw him standing at the mirror. “You… You really shouldn’t be out of bed, kid.”

Tang nodded blankly, shuffling back over to the bed and sitting down. Wukong closed the door behind him and made his way over to sit beside him.

“I bet you have a bunch of questions,” Wukong said.

Tang shook his head.

“No?”

Tang pointed at the door and then to his ears.

“You heard us talking?”

Tang nodded.

“Oh.” Wukong shuffled nervously. “Are… Are you okay?”

Tang took a shuddering breath. He turned to his mentor with tears in his eyes and shook his head.

“Oh, bud.” Wukong quickly scooped the younger monkey into his arms as he began to sob silently. “I’m so, so sorry. I should have been keeping a better eye on you. I should have been there to interfere and prevent this from happening. This is all my fault.”

Tang cried into the Monkey King’s chest.

He cried for the pain he felt at the hands of someone he considered a part of his family.

He cried at being forced into a different form unwillingly.

He cried for the loss of his ability to communicate

He cried for losing what may be his only chance to talk to his family from the original timeline.

He cried at the unfairness of the cycles and the universe in general.

Tang cried.

Yet he barely made a sound.

----------

“Hey, bud!”

Tang looked up from his meditation at the approaching Monkey King.

It was a few weeks later. Wukong had practically forced him to move to Flower Fruit Mountain in order to keep a better eye on him.

Tang didn’t mind. Without his ability to communicate, he couldn’t do his job at Pigsy’s Noodles anyway. Pigsy had let him keep the apartment, just in case he wanted to spend the night in the city.

Tang smiled up at Wukong as he stood. It was nice to be the one with multiple father figures for a change.

“So I think I may have a way around the communication curse,” Wukong announced brightly.

Tang’s eyes widened as he tilted his head in curiosity. It hadn’t taken him long to learn how to convey how he felt through body language alone.

“The curse only prevents you from communicating physically, right?”

Tang nodded.

“Well there’s a power I have that lets me speak to someone from a distance. I, uh, actually kind of forgot about it because my astral projections have a longer range so I don’t use it much.”

Tang snickered silently as Wukong rubbed his head in embarrassment.

“Anyway! How would you like to learn telepathy?”

Tang blinked as he processed that. Telepathy certainly wasn’t a normal power the Monkey King usually had.

It also wasn’t a physical form of communication. You instead projected your thoughts psychically to those around you.

Tang pumped his fists in the air and performed a back flip in excitement. Being a monkey had certainly made him much more nimble.

“I thought you’d feel that way,” Wukong said with a laugh. “Want to get started now?”

Tang immediately sat down and stared eagerly at his teacher.

“I’ll take that as a yes!”

----------

Telepathy had been hard to master.

The first weeks of the process had Tang randomly projecting his subconscious thoughts to anyone nearby. There had been some awkward moments when he accidentally projected things from previous cycles, but he was able to wave it off as daydreams.

It had taken some work, but Tang could now pick out a single person within a few hundred miles and send them a specific message. It was a tiring process, so he didn’t actually use it often, but he could do it.

He could communicate again!

Tang stood alone in the apartment above Pigsy’s Noodles and activated his True Sight.

He had done this a few times after the attack, just to be sure that his family would still be there.

Like the previous times, the group of five and his body appeared to the East of him. They all waved in greeting and Tang waved back.

Tang took a breath and looked MK directly in the eye.

‘Can you hear me?’

MK’s smile didn’t change as he eagerly watched on.

‘Hello? MK? Mei? Anyone?’

None of them reacted.

No.

‘Hello? Please! Can any of you hear me?!’

The groups’ smiles began to fade as Tang became visibly upset, his fists clenched and shoulders trembling.

No!

This wasn’t fair!

He had worked so hard!

Tang fell to his knees as tears poured down his face.

This had been his last hope. His last shot at trying to get any answers.

It hadn’t worked.

Frantic waving from the group caught his attention.

The five of them had knelt down to be closer to his eye level. They were all smiling gently, their expressions kind and forgiving.

MK placed his hands together, forming a heart. The others soon followed suit. Even Wukong.

It’s okay. We still love you.

Tang choked as his tears fell harder. He shakily put his hands together and formed his own heart.

I love you too.

Tang decided this was the only answer he needed.

----------

Bet none of you saw that coming!

I’m going to enjoy seeing you all try to come up with an explanation for what’s going on. :3c

Monkey Tang’s design is something I came up with myself. I’ll see if I can draw it out for a better reference.

Look out everyone! The plot is here and it won’t be stopping any time soon!

Until next time!

#Ink Writes #Monkie Kid #Scattered Cicadas #Tang #Sun Wukong #MK #Qi Xiaotian #Mei #Pigsy #Sandy #Macaque #Six Eared Macaque #LEGO Monkie Kid #Tang Monkie Kid

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