#hello widower dean you are everything to me

[hauntedpearl]

Tin Man, Sarah Winman// 07x02 // 13x01 // 15x18

#I'M SICK AND BORED AND I DON'T WANNA DO THE WORK IM SUPPOSED TO BE DOING SO #hello widower dean you are everything to me #doe's edits #spn edit #destiel #dean in mourning #tinman #quotes!! quotes!! quotes!!

[pink-sparkly-witch]

The Widow - Chapter One

Chapter One

Summary: Sam and Y/N are happily married, but everything changes after a fatal car accident leaves her a widow. The Winchester motto: “Family Don’t End with Blood,” takes on a whole new meaning for Y/N as she navigates her new normal with the help of her brother-in-law, Dean. But what no one can tell her is what happens when she falls in love again.

Pairing: Sam Winchester x F!Reader | Dean Winchester x F!Reader (eventual)

Warnings: Major character death, angst, description of injuries, grief, catatonic state

Words: 2,147

A/N: Well, here we go! This is the first part of this story that started as a tiny seedling months ago and just kept growing and growing until I just had to get it out of my head and onto the page. I hope you enjoy this emotional rollercoaster! 

My Masterlist     AO3    Ko-Fi

“Hey baby,” Sam greeted when you answered the phone. You could hear the grin in his voice, and it made you smile. “How’s your day been?”

“Well, hello there, my sexy husband!” You grinned as you heard Sam quietly chuckle down the phone. It was the kind of chuckle that always came out when he was embarrassed, and you smiled wider knowing you could have such an effect on him. “My day was good. You know that project that I wanted to be lead on?” you asked him.

“Yeah?” Sam responded patiently. You knew that he knew you’d got it, but you had to build the suspense just a little bit.

“Well… I got it!”

“Baby, that’s fantastic! I knew you could do it. There was never a doubt in my mind it’d go to anyone else!” Sam was always your biggest champion. He was always there cheering you on from the sidelines and always had your back, no matter what. “I’m so proud of you, Y/N.”

“If I do good, I’ll be promoted to Senior Project Manager. I’d be running my own team, Sam! Free reign to pick my own projects to run with! Can you imagine?”

“Yeah actually, I can,” he announced matter-of-factly. “You have always worked hard for what you want, and always get it. I have no doubt you’ll nail this project, get your promotion, and be running the company before long!”

“Aw, Sammy, thank you for always encouraging me to chase my dreams. It’s one of the many, many reasons I love you!”

“Oh, so there are many, many reasons you love me, huh?” His voice was low and teasing, and you smirked as you waited for him to continue. “And would another of those many, many reasons be because of the sounds I made you make last night and again this morning?”

“Samuel William Winchester! You are at work! Behave yourself!” You tried to keep your voice firm, but the man was right, and you laughed despite yourself.

“Speaking of work…” Sam sighed.

“I know, Sam. And it’s okay. You need to prepare for the most important case of your career. The case that’ll make you partner, and…”

“If I win.”

“You will win. Then you’ll be the youngest partner the firm has ever seen. I get it, babe. Go! Work. And bring home partner, alright?” You smiled at your husband’s quiet chuckle.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” Sam praised.

“So I’ve heard,” you teased.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I love you. And once I make partner…”

“I know,” you cut him off before he beat himself up even more about the late nights and weekends at the office. “It’s okay. Now go! The sooner you get back to work, the sooner you can come home and get some rest.”

“Alright, baby. It’ll be after midnight when I’m done, so don’t wait up. I love you, Y/N/N.”

“I love you too, Sammy.”

The weather was perfect. Not too hot for this time of year, but warm enough that you could wear a sundress on the picnic date Sam insisted he takes you on once the trial was over and he’d made partner. Everything he’d worked so hard for was now a reality, and, as he kept insisting, it was your time now.

He really didn’t need to. You knew he loved you and would do anything for you, even give up on his dreams if you’d asked him to, but for some reason that you couldn’t fathom (and wouldn’t complain about), he insisted you needed to be treated like a princess and reminded of how much he loved you.

“Sam, this is beautiful,” you gasped in awe as he unpacked the basket full of fresh and vibrant fruits, miniature cakes and pastries, and sandwiches that wouldn’t look out of place in the afternoon teas of the Ritz-Carlton in New York City. “You did all this for me?”

“I may have had some help from Jody,” he chuckled, “but I am fully responsible for this…” he smirked over at you as he pulled a bottle of champagne from the hamper. “It’s the same one you picked out for our wedding,” he added, and you smiled at the blush that crept up his neck and across his cheeks. He cleared his throat in that adorable nervous habit of his as he looked at you with lowered eyes and waited for your reaction. God, those puppy eyes were gonna be the death of you one day.

“Sam…” you cleared your throat trying to rid yourself of the overwhelming love you had for this man, the love that continued to grow with each day that passed. “It’s perfect. You didn’t need to do any of this.”

“I know,” Sam stated, gazing so intently into your eyes it felt like he was looking into the deepest parts of your soul. “But I wanted to. I have missed too many home-cooked meals and weekends with you, and I can never get that time back. This…” he gestured to the spread in front of him, “is the least I can do.”

Ding.

The clock from the town hall began to chime the new hour. “Sam,” you smiled, fighting back happy tears, “I love you, and I know everything you’ve done is for us and for our future. You should never apologise for that, ever.”

Ding.

“Baby, I know you don’t need grand gestures and over-the-top declarations of my love. It’s one of the many, many reasons I love you,” Sam smirked. “I want to take my wife on surprise, and hopefully, romantic dates. I want to spoil you as much as I can. Please, let me?”

Ding.

“Sam, I…” 

Knock knock.

You jerk awake, suddenly aware that you aren’t in the park having a romantic picnic with your husband. Instead, you’re having a very vivid dream and the town hall clock isn't chiming the new hour; someone is knocking on your door. Confused, your sleep-heavy eyes seek out the alarm clock on the bedside table and panic as you take in the time.

2:14am

You scramble from the bed, your foot trapped in the duvet, causing you to trip and lose your balance, managing to catch yourself just before you fall. Cursing softly and grabbing the robe that lies at the bottom of the bed, you quickly put it on and run down the stairs.

Opening the door, your stomach drops as your eyes scan over the sombre faces of two uniformed officers. “Mrs Winchester?” The taller of the two asks with a tone you’ve only heard from police officers in TV shows and movies.

“Yes?” You answered, the heavy feeling of dread settling deep in your stomach.

“I’m Sergeant Graham and this is my colleague, Officer Diaz. May we come in?”

“Uh, sure,” you take a step back and open the door further, inviting the officers in.

“Please take a seat, Mrs Winchester,” the sergeant requests, using a soft but firm voice, and you find yourself obeying quickly. “Your husband, Sam Winchester, was in a car accident.” He continues calmly, and your heart begins to hammer against your rib cage. “He was travelling down East 15th at its junction with Park, and he had the green light, but he was struck by a drunk driver who ran the red.”

Tears begin to pool in your eyes, and you will yourself not to think the worst, but you know it’s pointless. Two officers don’t come to your door in the middle of the night to tell you that your husband was in an accident and has been lucky enough to only sustain minor cuts and bruises.

“The truck hit the driver’s side of your husband’s car at high speed, and I’m sorry to tell you he was killed on impact…” Whatever else the sergeant says is drowned out by a deafening ringing in your ears. Your chest tightens and you can feel nausea rising in your gut.

A noise much louder than the ringing starts to make itself known. It’s the sound of a wounded animal. An anguished howl that will forever be ingrained in your memories, and the thing that will startle you awake from the nightmares you’ll surely have.

It’s only when the fog begins to clear, and the ringing stops completely, do you finally realise the howling is coming from you.

You had sat in the waiting room exhausted emotionally and physically. Once you’d calmed down enough for the officers to talk to you again, you changed from your sleep shirt and shorts into yoga pants and one of Sam’s t-shirts, before they drove you to the hospital. You’ve been here for hours now. The countless forms you’d filled out and endless sheets of paper that now contained your signature, however, were nothing compared to seeing your husband.

Someone had cleaned him up and sutured various cuts – the deepest on his forehead – but the other injuries he’d suffered were still all too obvious. All the skin you could see had turned purple with bruising. There were scrapes and grazes all over his chest and arms, and you knew from the doctor’s report that he had multiple broken bones and severe internal bleeding.

Time seemed to have stopped as you sat in that cold, sterile room with him, running your hand through his hair and sobbing quietly. You were grateful the nurse let you take your time with him and no one was rushing to get you out of there.

When you return to the reception desk an hour later, you’re handed another form, this one – you’re assured – is the last. The one that releases the belongings he had on his person at the time of the accident to you. His wedding ring, the watch you’d given him for Christmas, his wallet, cell phone, – which was surprisingly undamaged – and his battered briefcase.

His cell comes to life when you lift it from the plastic tray, showing you he has an unread message from Dean.

Dean 2:26am

You really need to stop working so late, dude. Drive safe and get home to that girl of yours!

Knowing that Sam had likely responded to a text Dean had sent much earlier in the day just before he set off on that fatal car journey hits you like a freight train. And knowing Dean’s reply, telling his brother to come home to you had come through when the police were telling you he’d died, was gut-wrenching. Fighting back more tears, you unlock your own cell phone and call the number you’d been dreading for hours now.

“Y/N, darlin’? It’s early… is everything alright?” The gravelly voice on the other end of the phone sounds tired, scared and confused. You figure getting a call at 6am will do that to a person.

“John–” You’d fought hard to keep your voice steady and strong, but what came out was shaky and meek. “It’s Sam…”

“Y/N?” Dean’s voice startles you out of your daze and you blink up at him from the uncomfortable plastic chair in the waiting room. Unsteadily, you rise to your feet and make your way over to him, throwing yourself into his outstretched arms.

“Dean,” you cry as more tears fall from your sore and swollen eyes. Dean is on you in an instant, wrapping you in his arms and holding on tight.

“C’mere. You shoulda called us, sweetheart. We’d have been here with you,” Dean’s voice is strong, but it still cracks with emotion. “You didn’t need to do this alone.” You sob into his chest until your legs give way, and he lowers you both to the ground, keeping his arms around you the whole time and settling you onto the floor.

You cling to him with every ounce of strength you have, knuckles going white, afraid that another person you love might leave you. But Dean holds you tighter, shushing you and stroking your back in a desperate bid to calm you down. The sobs only ease and your body stops trembling when he begins to rock you and hum Nothing Else Matters by Metallica in your ear.

John looks on from the doorway, seeming utterly devastated. Not only has he lost his youngest child today, but it's like he knows he’s also lost a part of his daughter-in-law that might not ever come back.

“Come on, darlin’. Let’s get you out of here, huh?” His soft voice floats from somewhere in the distance, but your vision is too blurry from tears and swollen from puffiness to see exactly where. 

Dean places a gentle kiss on your temple and helps you stand on shaky legs.

“Come on, Y/N. Let’s get you home. There’s nothing more we can do here.”

You nod at Dean and let him guide you to his car. 

Next Chapter>>

@deans-spinster-witch @muchamusedaboutnothing @kazsrm67 @twinkleinadiamondsky @waters-2567 @leigh70 @waynes-multiverse @jesllianaquilesrolonsworld

#the widow #dean winchester x reader #au dean winchester x reader #angst #tw: grief #tw: grieving

[fanfictionalraven]

Dream Warriors Chapter 3

Title: Dream Warriors Chapter 3

Summary: The reader struggles with how to handle the recent news about her husband.

Characters: Reader, Dean Winchester, other canon Supernatural characters, other original characters

Word Count: 5,438

Warnings: Mentions of infidelity, mentions of a miscarriage

Read Chapter 2 here.

You’re sitting at the dining room table. Jackson had left early again for “work” and you hadn’t had the courage to face him yet over what you’d found the night before. Ella’s in the high chair next to you, eating the cheerios you’d given her. Absentmindedly, you run your finger around the rim of the coffee mug in front of you, trying to figure out what to do. So much was running through your mind. The affair. The dream. So many questions. You jump when your phone buzzes on the table next to you and look over.

Mornin’ Gorgeous.

The usual good morning text you got from Dean. Same time, every morning. You halfheartedly smile as you reach for the phone and open the message. You’re typing out your reply before you even realize it.

You have lunch plans?

You almost regret the message the moment you’ve sent it. Telling Dean would most likely end up with him in prison and you a widow. But you needed your best friend.

Hot date with a cold sandwich. You got a better offer?

Buy you a burger at our favorite place?

Counteroffer. I buy you a burger at our favorite place.

Deal. I’ll ask Mom to keep Ella. Meet you there at 12:30?

No El? So this is serious. Better make it 11:30 then.

11:30. See you then.

You set the phone aside and run your hands over your face. You could already guess what Dean was going to say but you still wanted to talk it out with someone and he was your favorite option. A cheerio hits your cheek and you look at a giggling Ella.

“Mama!!” She says, reaching out for you. You can’t help but smile at her despite your miserable mood. You pull her from the chair and bring her into your lap, hugging her tight.

“We’re gonna get through this, Baby Girl. Me and you. Somehow,” you whisper before kissing her hair.

After spending a moment just holding your daughter, you pick your phone up again. You find your mother’s name in your contact list and put it to your ear. It rings twice before she picks up.

“Hello,” she says, her voice bright and chipper. You squeeze your eyes closed, trying to put up your best act.

“Hey, Mom. You busy today?” You ask before biting your lip. She laughs lightly.

“Not at all. What do you need?” She asks.

“Could you keep Ella for a few hours? I’m meeting Dean for lunch,” you tell her. There’s a moment’s silence on the line before she speaks again.

“Everything okay?” She asks. You let out a breath of a laugh, trying to keep from breaking down on the phone.

“Yes, Mom. Just needing some adult time,” you say, shaking your head. You hated lying to her and you were going to talk to her about it. You just wanted to talk to Dean first.

“Of course, I’ll keep her. You never have to ask, Sweetie,” she tells you. You thank her before hanging up and going up to the nursery. After throwing together a bag for Ella, you take her into your room while you get dressed for the day. You slip into a pair of jeans and a Stanford sweatshirt Dean had bought you on one of the occasions he’d visited his brother, Sam. There was still time to kill so you give Ella a bath before getting her dressed as well.

Around 10:45, you pull into your parents’ driveway and shut the car off. By the time you get Ella out of her car seat, your mother is waiting on the front porch.

“Gaga!!” Ella squeals, seeing her grandmother. Your mother kisses your cheek before taking Ella into her arms.

“Thanks, Mom,” you tell her. She smiles and nods before looking down at Ella.

“Of course,” she says, tickling her granddaughter. Ella giggles and pushes at her hands. “Your father called. Said Dean was taking a long lunch cause you needed to talk to him.” You sigh and look down at your feet for a moment before meeting her eyes again.

“Don’t worry. I’ll talk to you when I come pick her up after while,” you assure her. She watches you, trying to read your face, before nodding.

“Okay. Be careful,” she says. You give her your best smile and a kiss on the cheek. You run a hand over Ella’s hair and kiss her forehead before going back to the car.

You arrive at the small diner in the next town over around 11:15 and go in to your usual table. This was the place you and Dean had made every important decision you’d faced in your life; college, careers, relationships. It was a place both of your parents had brought you as children and when you were allowed to drive the two of you met up once a week in the same corner booth.

“Hey, Y/N. Long time, no see,” Ellen, the owner of the diner, says as she looks up from the register. You smile at her as she comes around the counter.

“Hey, Ellen. Yea, I’m sorry. Marriage and Ella…I haven’t really had a chance,” you tell her. She smiles and shrugs.

“I understand. Dean coming?” She asks. You manage a small laugh and nod.

“He is. Shouldn’t be far behind,” you tell her. She nods and goes back to the kitchen to turn in your usual order.

It’s only a moment later that the bell on the door rings and Dean steps into the diner. He glances around before quickly making his way over to you. A lump rises in your throat as you take in the evident concern on his face. He slides into the booth across from you and folds his hands together on top of the table. He stares at his hands for a moment then closes his eyes.

“Did he hit you?” He asks, his voice restrained. Of course, that was going to be his first thought. You reach across the table and place your hands over his.

“No, Dean,” you assure him. His hands relax under yours instantly before opening up and clasping yours. He meets your eyes finally.

“What did he do?” He asks. You swallow thickly as you look down at your hands, held tightly in his. “Y/N.”

“He’s having an affair,” you tell him in a hushed tone. Dean goes completely rigid. You look up to find him stone-faced.

“He’s cheating on you?” He asks, unbelieving. You nod your head once. “On you?” You shush him quickly.

“Yes, Dean,” you say, glancing around. You pull your hands away when you spot Ellen coming back over with your drinks.

“Hey there,” she says, setting the two glasses down between you. “How you been, Dean?” She asks, patting his shoulder. He tears his eyes away from you and gives her a forced smile.

“Been better. You?” He asks. She shrugs her shoulders, more customers at the door catching her attention.

“Not bad. Your order’s in. Shouldn’t be too long,” she says before moving to greet the new customers. You watch her go then look back at Dean.

“How do you know?” He asks. You sigh and pull your glass closer to you.

“He’s been acting weird. Going in early and staying late. Claimed it was for work. Left his phone yesterday and I had to know. Found their texts,” you explain. You can feel his eyes on you as you take a sip from your water.

“Who?” He asks plainly. You frown at the table, fighting back tears again.

“One of his students. A size two blonde with breasts most women have to pay for,” you mumble. Dean’s hands tighten into fists on the table.

“Is…” He pauses and you look up at him. His eyes are squeezed closed. “Is this something you can work through?” You can tell he’s mad as hell but trying to control himself. Looking back at your glass, you shrug.

“I’ve been trying to figure out how I can make it work again. I mean, I never managed to get all the baby weight off after Ella. And getting pregnant right before the wedding really killed the whole honeymoon phase,” you start.

“The hell are you talking about?!” He asks a bit too loudly. You jump and look up at him quickly to find his eyes wide with rage. “You think this is your fault?!”

“Dean,” you urge, glancing around. The two of you have managed to earn a few concerned looks from the other patrons. You can tell Ellen’s watching you from the corner of her eye. “Keep it down.” He runs a hand across his forehead before leaning over the table slightly.

“Is that what you’re saying? That this is your fault?” He asks, his voice softer now. You frown and look away.

“Kinda seems like karma,” you admit. Dean sits back in the booth slowly, shaking his head.

“No, no, no. That’s not…Y/N. This has nothing to do with us or what we did. You’d called the whole thing off before you came to my place,” he says. You wipe at your cheek furiously and look back at him.

“Fine. Say it isn’t karma. What is it then?” You ask. His shoulders bob up and down once.

“I don’t know. Maybe you married a douche who can’t keep it in his pants,” he says. You roll your eyes and look down at your hands. The rings on your left hand catch the light as you begin to spin them around your finger. Dean’s hand reaches over, catching your own. “He’s obviously insane.”

“Dean,” you chastise, trying to pull your hand away. He tightens his grip, pulling your hand closer to him across the table and forcing you to look up at him again.

“I’m serious. No man in their right mind would cheat on you. I don’t care how amazing you think this other woman looks, nobody holds a candle to you, Sweetheart,” he says, his voice soft. You feel a stray tear slide down your cheek and Dean reaches up, wiping it away. “I mean, if I had you…”

“Two burgers with everything, one with extra bacon,” a familiar voice says, quickly approaching the table. You pull your hands free from Dean’s grip and look down, trying to discreetly wipe at your eyes.

“Hey, Jo,” Dean says, smiling at her. She sets the two plates down and you manage a smile of your own.

“Thanks,” you tell her. She smiles and nods before looking at Dean.

“Heard about you and Lisa. That’s too bad,” she says. He laughs a little and shakes his head.

“Not really. It was never gonna work out,” he tells her. She bites her lip and nods before glancing at you.

“Well, I’ll let you two eat in peace,” she says before running off. You force a small smile as you pick up a fry.

“She still has that crush on you,” you say, glancing up at him. He’s watching you as he shrugs. “I had that dream again.”

“Again?” He asks. You nod slightly, biting into the fry.

“Sorta. It wasn’t the exact same. It was so strange. In the dream, I told you that this world, the real world, was a dream,” you explain. He nods slightly, still watching you. “Found out what was wrong between us…I’d lost Ella. Had a miscarriage.”

“Ella?” He asks, raising an eyebrow. “Thought you were with me in this dream and not him.”

“Right. I mean, it obviously wasn’t Ella. A baby that was ours. Anyways, a demon stabbed me in the stomach and I’d lost her – ugh, the baby,” you tell him. You pick up your burger and frown at him. “Are you going to eat?”

“Don’t go back to him,” he says suddenly. You sigh and set the burger back down without having taken a bite. “I don’t mean permanently. Just…for tonight. Take some time to think about what you really want to do. Stay with your parents or – or – or with me.”

“Mom and Dad know something’s wrong. I told Mom I’d tell her when I pick up Ella but…” You trail off with a sigh and run your hands over your face.

“Pick her up tomorrow. Stay with me tonight. Talk to Katherine tomorrow once you know what you want to do,” he says, reaching across the table for your hand again. You bite your lip and link your fingers with his.

“He won’t like me staying with you,” you tell him. Dean laughs and squeezes your hand.

“So?” He asks. “Even more reason to do it if you ask me.” That draws a small laugh from you and Dean smiles a little more. “What do you say? I’ll stay in the guestroom and you can have my bed.”

“Your bed is nice,” you say. Dean smiles widely and picks your hand up, kissing the back of it.

“Then it’s settled. You’re staying with me tonight,” he says before finally picking his burger up and taking a bite. You watch him and smile, shaking your head.

After Dean pays for the meal, the two of you go out into the parking lot. He gives you the key to his house and tells you to go over whenever you want. You hug him tight and thank him before getting into your car. A quick stop at your own house to pack a bag for yourself and Ella then you’re driving back to your parents’ house. You take a deep breath before starting for the door, Ella’s overnight bag slung over your shoulder. Forgoing a knock, you open the door.

“Mom?” You call out.

“Mama!!!” You can hear Ella squeal from the living room. You smile and step into the house as the sound of her wobbly footsteps starts towards you. She waddles into the front hall, your mother right behind her, and over to you where you lift her up into the air. You hug her tight and press a kiss to her hair.

“More bags?” Your mother asks, eyeing the one on your shoulder. You glance at her and bite your lip. “One house guest or two?”

“Just Ella. And just for tonight. I think,” you tell her. She eyes you curiously and nods slightly.

“Will you be at home?” She asks. You shake your head. “Dean’s?”

“Bean!!!” Ella giggles, looking over your shoulder for him. You smile a little and pat her back.

“Bean isn’t here,” you tell her before looking back at your mother. “Yes.”

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” She asks, reaching for Ella. You bite your lip and hand her back over.

“I am. I just need some time to think,” you say. She frowns and you can see the assumptions in her eyes. “Jackson hasn’t abused me or Ella. That’s not it, I swear. You know as well as I do that he’d already be dead if that’s what I had told Dean.” Your mother smiles a little, relief flooding her face, and nods.

“I know. But it’s a mother’s job to worry. You know that,” she says, running a hand over Ella’s hair. You smile and take the bag off your shoulder, handing it over to your mother.

“I do. If you need anything, just call. I’m only up the road a bit,” you tell her. She rolls her eyes as she takes the bag.

“If I can survive raising you and your brother, I can survive my granddaughter for one night,” she says. You laugh a little and kiss her cheek quickly before going back out to your waiting car. You make the short drive over to Dean’s house and let yourself in.

It had been a while since you’d actually been in his house. You knew exactly when the last time you had been here was. Almost two years ago, you’d shown up at his door with a bottle of whiskey after breaking off your engagement with Jackson a month before the wedding. It was a night you’d never forget. It seemed like there was suddenly a memory attached to every wall and piece of furniture.

You run a hand over the back of the couch. That’s where it had all started. You’d both thrown back a few shots and moved a little too close together before your lips managed to find his. Shirts were the first thing to go before you’d pulled away from Dean and started down the hall.

You throw your bag over your shoulder and start down that same hall now, noticing the still empty nail about halfway down. There had been a picture there earlier that night, one of Dean and Sam when they were younger you think. But when Dean had caught you, pushing you up against the wall, it jumped from its nail and landed on the floor, breaking.

You push the door to his bedroom open slowly and take in the sight of the bed. The same bed he’d gently laid you down on before removing the rest of your clothes. The same bed where he’d worshiped every inch of your body. The same bed where…

You shake your head abruptly, ridding yourself of the memories as quickly as you can. You toss your bag onto the bed, suddenly unsure if you’ll actually be able to sleep in it tonight, then go back into the living room and fall into the recliner in the corner.

You occupy yourself for as long as you can with mind-numbing TV shows before finally deciding to start cooking dinner. If you were staying here for nothing, you could at least cook him a decent meal. You’re staring into the barely stocked fridge trying to figure out what you can cook when the front door opens.

“Y/N?” A woman’s voice calls. You smile at the familiar voice and make your way into the front hall where you find Dean’s mother, Mary, standing just inside the door. She smiles widely when she sees you.

“Hi, Mary. Dean isn’t home yet,” you tell her. She laughs lightly and nods, moving to hug you. You return the embrace immediately.

“I know. He called and said you were having a hard time at home. You’re staying with him tonight?” She asks, letting you go to look at you. You bite your lip and nod. “Well he was certain you’d try to cook and wanted to save you the trouble.”

“What?? Mary, you didn’t have to do that,” you tell her quickly. She smiles and shrugs, turning back for the door.

“Come help me,” she says. You follow her out to her running car where she opens the back door. She hands you a pot that could only be filled with her famous chili before she picks up a fresh pie as well. The two of you go back into the house together quietly and take the food into the kitchen. You place the pot on the stove and turn it on low just to keep it warm until Dean gets home.

“Thank you, Mary,” you tell her as she places the pie in the oven, allowing it to finish cooking. She smiles over at you and nods slightly.

“Nothing to thank,” she says. “How’s Ella?”

“She’s great. Growing like crazy. Trying to run before she’s got a full grasp on walking,” you say, laughing lightly. Mary smiles and nods.

“Dean was the same way,” she says. You smile a little and nod, looking down. “Y/N. Dean didn’t tell me what was going on but I assume it’s marital.” Your smile falls as you look back up at her. “I’m not trying to pry. I’m not even asking you to tell me what’s going on. But if I could offer some general advice?” You bite your lip before nodding slightly. “John and I had our issues. I don’t know if you remember Dean ever talking about it but there were some pretty dark times for us.” You nod your head once more. You had been quite young but you could recall a time when things were rough at the Winchester house. “We managed to get through that. We fought like hell and he left God-only-knows how many times. But we came out on the other side.”

“Mary,” you start but she holds up a hand.

“That being said, the only reason John and I were able to make it through was because we loved each other. I knew there was no one else who could handle me on my worst days and he knew there was no one else who was going to put up with him on a daily basis,” she explains. You frown and look away from her now. “If you think or feel that there’s someone else that you can love or do love, then it isn’t worth the fight. And can I be brutally honest with you?” You continue to look away but don’t stop her. “As much as you may love Jackson, I’ve never seen him really love you in return. There is someone out there who will love you and Ella like you deserve.”

You wipe at your cheek as you choke back a sob. Mary rushes over and wraps you up in a tight hug. She rubs your back soothingly as you cry into her shoulder. The front door opens and you pull away from her quickly, attempting to wipe your eyes dry. Dean steps into the kitchen, smiling widely.

“Hey, Mom,” he says before looking at you. His face falls instantly. “I asked you to make dinner, not make her cry again.” You shake your head quickly, giving him your best smile.

“It’s not her fault. It’s just been one of those days,” you tell him as he wraps an arm around your waist. He nods slightly, then presses a kiss to your temple.

“Well, Y/N, has Dean told you about Saturday yet?” Mary asks. You look between them in confusion and shake your head. “Sam and Jessica are coming out and we’re gonna have an engagement party/cook-out for them at the house.” You can’t help the wide smile that spreads across your face.

“No. Dean didn’t mention that my favorite Winchester brother was coming home,” you say, looking up at him. He rolls his eyes but smiles despite himself.

“You and Ella have to be there. Sam hasn’t seen either of you since Christmas and it’s killing him,” she says. Dean nods in agreement.

“Jess too. She keeps asking about seeing her niece,” he adds. You laugh lightly and nod.

“We’ll be there,” you tell them both. Mary smiles widely.

“Good. They’ll be so excited,” she says. “Well, I’ll get out of your way.” Dean lets you go and Mary gives you another hug. “Think about what I said,” she whispers. You nod as you let her go. Dean wraps her up in a tight embrace and kisses her cheek.

“Thanks, Mom,” he tells her. She smiles and nods before leaving the kitchen. The front door opens then closes again and you’re left alone with Dean. You glance at him before moving to the stove.

Normally, being alone with Dean was as easy as breathing. But at this moment, you felt like you were trying to breathe underwater. Maybe it was Mary’s advice lingering in your ear or maybe it was the memories of the last time you were here alone together. Either way, something felt different.

“Cas is gonna be there too,” Dean says, trying to ease the palpable tension. You look over at him as you stir the pot of chili.

“Is he? I don’t think I’ve seen him since the wedding,” you say. Cas was Dean’s college roommate and he’d quickly assimilated into your group of friends.

“He’ll be glad to hear you’re coming. Get to meet Ella finally,” he says. You nod slightly as a frown slowly spreads across your face. “Y/N?”

“I’ve been a terrible friend since I got married, haven’t I?” You ask, looking over at him again. He shakes his head quickly, walking over to you.

“No. Of course not. You just had other things you had to focus on,” he says, running his hands over your forearms slowly.

“I have. You’re the only friend I’ve really kept up with. I only know what’s going on with anyone because of you,” you tell him, fresh tears beginning to form. He sighs and wraps you up in his arms quickly. You bury your face in his chest, allowing the sobs to take over once again. He runs a hand over your hair, pressing his lips against your temple.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he says, his voice soft and comforting. You shake your head slightly as you lean away from him.

“I think I’m gonna go take a bath,” you say, wiping at your eyes. He nods, watching you closely.

“Okay. Take your time,” he says. You nod before leaving the kitchen and going down to Dean’s room. You move into his attached bathroom and sit on the edge of the tub, turning the water on.

Once you’ve got the water set to a warmer temperature, you move back into the bedroom, beginning to undress. You slip out of your jeans and toss them onto the bed before pulling your shirt off. Something catches your eye in the mirror as you pass by. You drop the shirt at your feet as you stare at the scar on your stomach. With a trembling hand, you run your fingers across the unfamiliar patch of skin.

“D-Dean!!” You call out, panic rising up quickly. It was the same scar from your dream. A scar you shouldn’t have. The door swings open and Dean steps into the room quickly.

“What’s wrong??” He asks, worried. He stops short at the sight of you in only your bra and underwear, his eyes widening. You look back at him quickly.

“This scar!! It’s from my dream!! It shouldn’t be there, Dean!!” You tell him, pointing to the place on your stomach. Dean looks to where you’re pointing and frowns.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” He asks, looking back at your face. You stare at him.

“Dean, I shouldn’t have a scar on my stomach like this!!” You nearly shout, your voice trembling. He takes a cautious step forward.

“There isn’t a scar, Y/N,” he says. You look back at the mirror quickly and freeze. He was right. There wasn’t anything there. A few stray stretch marks from your pregnancy but not the scar you’d just seen.

“That’s not…I saw it. I felt it,” you say, running your fingers over the now smooth skin. You catch sight of Dean in the mirror, his gaze averted.

“Maybe you should put some clothes on,” he says. You roll your eyes before examining the skin again.

“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” you mumble. He sighs and runs a hand over his face before walking over and standing behind you in the mirror. “It was there, Dean,” you tell him. He reaches around you carefully and takes your hands in his, linking your fingers together, as he wraps both arms around your midsection.

“You don’t have a scar on your stomach, Y/N. You never have,” he says, his eyes meeting yours in the mirror. You give him a skeptical look and he just barely smiles in response. “I’ve seen everything. I memorized every inch of this body. I can tell you everything about it.”

“Dean –”

“There’s a half moon shaped scar on your left knee from when we were kids, racing our bikes in Bobby’s scrapyard. There’s a group of chicken pox scars on your inner right thigh that look like a smiley face. The stretch marks are newer but Ella gave you those so I love them.” His voice is soft against your ear as his fingers graze over the marks on your stomach, his eyes never leaving your face. “My favorite scar is probably this one,” he says as he lifts your right hand.

“Wasn’t your favorite when it happened,” you tell him with a slight smirk. He lets out a laugh before brushing his lips across the back of your hand.

“You shattered your knuckles punching a guy who got a little too handsy at a party in college. If Cas hadn’t been there, I would be in prison right now. At the time, I was mad as hell. Now…it’s kinda sexy,” he says. You laugh lightly and he presses a quick kiss to your cheek.

“Can’t forget your tattoo. The little butterfly on your right side at the top of your ribs. Usually hidden by your bra. I took you to get it on your 18th birthday and had to hold your hand the whole time,” he says. You smile a little more at the memory. “Then there’s your birthmark. Each freckle and mole. I know where every single one is. I know where every ticklish spot is,” he adds, his fingers brushing against your sides, earning a soft giggle from you. “I know where every sensitive spot is.” He lips graze your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. “I know every inch of this body and there has never been a scar on your stomach.”

His eyes meet yours once again. You pull your hands from his before turning in his arms to face him. Reaching up slowly, you run your fingers into his hair. His eyes close as he leans down, resting his forehead against yours. You take a shaky breath as your noses barely brush against each other. You’re just starting to raise up to meet his lips when a smell drifts into the room.

“Something’s burning,” you mumble before your eyes shoot wide open. “The pie!!” You exclaim before rushing from Dean’s arms and out of the room.

You run into the kitchen and pull the door to the oven open quickly. Without thinking, you reach in with your bare hands and grab the dish, pulling the slightly blackened pie out. Pain shoots through your hands and you let out a scream before dropping the pie onto the floor. Dean’s running into the room in the next second, pulling you to the sink. He runs your hands under cold water briefly before leading you back to the bathroom quietly. As carefully as he can, he applies some burn cream to the already forming blisters before wrapping them up.

“Sorry about the pie,” you tell him as he finishes up. He laughs lightly and shakes his head.

“I’m more worried about your hands,” he says. You bite your lip then smile a little.

“Just a few more scars,” you say. He smiles a little more and nods before moving across the bathroom. He turns off the bath water you’d forgotten was even running then walks over to you.

“Take your bath, Sweetheart. I’ll clean up the pie then we can eat,” he says before pressing a kiss to your forehead and leaving you alone.

The rest of the night passes uneventfully. You soak in your warm bath for about 30 minutes before getting out. After dressing in an old T-shirt and some pajama pants, you meet Dean in the kitchen for dinner. The two of you eat in silence then you help Dean put the leftovers away. A brief goodnight is exchanged and you kiss his cheek before going to bed. Sleep overwhelms you quickly as soon as you hit the pillow.

A bright light fills the room and you open your eyes slowly, blinking. Sitting up, you look around the room. Sam’s sitting at the table in the corner, his laptop open in front of him. The morning sunlight is streaming in through the pale yellow curtains of the motel window. You let out a groan and put your face in your hands before gasping in pain. Pulling your hands away immediately, you stare down at them.

The burns are still there.

“Sam, get over here!!” You call to your friend without taking your eyes off the blisters. Sam jumps up and rushes to your side. His eyes widen as he takes in the wounds.

“Oh my, God, Y/N. What did you do?” He asks. You shake your head slightly as you continue to stare down at your hands. “I think we’ve got some cream somewhere,” he says, turning to find his bag.

“Sam!!” You practically yell as your eyes widen. He looks back at you then down at your hands again. His stares in disbelief as the wounds heal right before both of your eyes.

Read Chapter 4 here.

Forever Tags: @roseblue373

Jensen Tags: @lostin-jensenseyes

Dream Warriors: @aylacavebear @winharry @djs8891 @suckitands33 @rickgrimeswifeu @deans-spinster-witch @jackles010378 @foxyjwls007 @cutiesarah @urinternetmom @justrealizedimmascifygurl l @kr804573 @thej2report @just-levyy

#fanfic #fanfiction #supernatural #spn #dean winchester #reader insert #dean x y/n #dean x you #dean x reader

[stingstrikes]

Hi ely, I've been following you for a long time, and I know before the finale you were pro dabb and now you don't like him, and like I was pretty much on the same page so I thought you would be the right person to ask. So I saw this post today that had an excerpt of an interview with dabb from like early 2020, and he talks about how the ending won't be a full circle thing and that he thinks that would be invaliding for the the story.

I just don't know what to think anymore, everything is so conflicted. Like what do you make of this? I've been pissed at Dabb and I get that there was also probably some network stuff going on but that's not stopped me from being pissed. This just sort of turned the tables on me and I don't know what Dabb did and didn't do

ohhh here's the thing. (also sorry for just now seeing this??) dabb wrote. like. a Lot of destiel episodes/content. let me just...dig up the hope vibes masterpost real quick...

here are some deancas eps he wrote (and a list of all the eps he wrote) in addition to 15x01 and 15x10 which were...you know... eps that drove forward the destiel plot for the season. he gave cas generally good plots, (like he literally wrote hunteri heroici and would make sam and dean allude to cas or speak on his behalf if he wasn’t in an episode) he wrote the widower arc prayer scene in 13x01 which i (and many others) thought would mean that he would like. show dean’s grief a lot more post-15x18. 

so really, honestly, the cards all lined up for dabb to not let us down in 15x20. you could argue that his mention of cas was fulfilled by the stupid scene with sam and dean and the pie (wherein dean basically goes “yeah, whatever” at the mention of cas and jack) or bobby’s “cas helped” but...this is the guy who. this is the guy who wrote “you’re gonna bring back cas, you’re gonna bring back mom” (HELLO?) and “he’s in love........with humanity” AND, like i mentioned before, 15x01 which was the beginning of the season’s deancas arc and last but not least,,

15x10 the heroes journey. which i have talked about quite a bit but oh my god. garth’s story was the example, the standard to live up to. he was breaking the cycle, and in this episode sam and dean learned this from him. dean admitted he could be capable of having a happy life/relationship. not to mention that the episode is called. The Heroes Journey. sam and dean are literally established (ALONG NEXT TO GARTH) as the heroes in this story. like point blank that is what is stated in this episode. then they tell you that hunter heroes like garth can get happy endings. (and might i remind you this is also the episode with “why lamp.”) so anyways, if dabb wrote this episode it would seem obvious that he didn’t want sam and dean’s story to go full circle and that he wanted them to ..like...complete the heroes’ journey. duh. obviously.

and yet, according to multiple sources and jensen’s overall dislike of the finale, dean’s death was always going to happen. so. personally, i think it might come down to the omitted scenes (which, okay, have not yet been verified but. think about how short that episode was. especially for the season finale of a fifteen year long show. then wipe that covid excuse straight from your mind as i point you to the bridge scene. yeah, covid my ass. anyways,) and what was pointedly left out of them. especially that mention of “if cas was here...” “he’s not.” like. if that shit is REAL? i think it might have been--on a meta level--dabb’s/the writer’s commentary on the fact that cas was not there if he was actually intended to be. 

i mean. if dean dying was always the ending, and dabb wrote 15x10 the heroes journey and all the very obvious parallels between dean and garth, then why lamp, AND “this baby keeps looking at me weird” “so kind of like the real cas?,” and ALSO stated he didn’t want their story to go full circle...well. then my thoughts lead me to believe that yeah, cas was at the very least supposed to be in dean’s heaven ending. 

misha confirmed the draft with jimmy novak was Legit (in a recent m&g iirc), but i feel like even this would have been a last ditch effort as a response to not being able to have cas in dean’s heaven bc homophobia that would have then been played off as a tragedy when dean doesn’t have cas there (this also opens up a whole ‘nother can of worms of like. “if dean’s heaven doesn’t have cas...then is it really Heaven at all?” but alas), if that makes sense. because the other puzzle pieces are matching up except for one and it’s infuriating to not just Know everything that went on because i’m sure there are lots of layers to it but all in all my opinion is that i’m Frustrated and Confused. 

signs point to cas being in the finale. then he wasn’t. the fanfiction gap lies in the in-between of those two sentences, and i wish i had the answers, but i don’t ...which also means i don’t know who to blame. i wanna blame everyone <3 but i do think the network had a bigger role in the caslessness of 15x19 and the finale

#need u to know that finding the ffic meta post again was borderline traumatic for me do not click it its just for shits n giggles god bles #WOW this was so long im so fucking sorry #ely answers #anonymous #rambleoncas meta #i fucking GUESS lmao #my post #long post for ts #ALSO I GOT CARRIED A AY BUT OMG 🥺 og follower?? my beloved???

[ambiguousdisorderken]

in your expert opinion what are some of the most destiel-heavy episodes of spn? i stopped watching around season 7 and have no interest in engaging w the plot of the show at all but i’m in the mood for some gay yearning ykwim

Hi anon! Thank you for reaching out to me about this, I’m, no-joke, very flattered. I’d seen a couple posts on this same question, very thorough and detailed lists on Destiel-centric episodes, but at the moment I cannot find any of them, that would’ve answered your request much faster. So, in advance, sorry, my reply is probably coming in extremely late, but I did write this from scratch, so yeah.

Even though storylines in SPN can be very shitty and hollow, I do feel that to get the full Destiel experience -that long-drawn yearning- one would have to watch the entirety of the show, even if Cas isn’t in the episode or if there’s no explicit mention of their relationship/bond because it gives you a better understanding of them as characters and of how their relationship affects the narrative.

Now, you mentioned you stopped around S7, which is completely understandable and justified given the Dick plot game was very weak and, in my opinion, annoying (so little Cas!). I’m going to start listing from S7 in case you want to refresh your SPN before jumping straight into unseen episodes. Also, since you mentioned no interest in the plot and are specifically craving those sweet crumbs of gay yearning, I’ll skip most one-sided / too subtle episodes and cut to the chase.

Lastly, I hate spoiling things, but you’ve probably seen it all on Tumblr. I tried to keep the episodes’ descriptions short, as it might come in useful. Stuck to key words, quotes and/or little comments.

 Season 7

7x01 – Meet the New Boss: Godstiel, sincere apology. Cas: “I'm gonna find some way to redeem myself to you.”

7x02 – Hello, Cruel World: Mourning. Trench coat melancholy. The heart-wrenching eulogy: “Dumb son of a bitch.”

7x17 – The Born-Again Identity: Emmanuel!Cas, reunion, longing, hurt.

7x21 – Reading is Fundamental: Honey!Cas, hug, hurt, reunion, that painful SORRY (board game) scene.

7x23 – Survival of the Fittest: Honey!Cas, forgiveness, adorable, wified Cas. Dean hits us with: “Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas!" but also “I'd rather have you, cursed or not.”

Season 8 (this season is so good and Destiel is the driving motor of it, I swear. If you can, watch it complete.)

8x01 – We Need to Talk About Kevin: Dean in Purgatory looking for the angel.  Cas is referred to as “your [Dean’s] angel.”

8x02 – What’s Up, Tiger Mommy?: HUG!!!, Purgatory reunion, face touch, very romantic. Monster: “ You'll find your angel there.” //  Dean: “Let me bottom-line it for you. I'm not leaving here without you.”

8x05 – Blood Brother: Cas vs. Benny cat fight lol. Dean: “Cas... we're gonna shove your ass back through the eye of that needle if it kills all three of us.”

8x07 – A Little Slice of Kevin: Cas comes back from Purgatory, but before that Dean starts seeing him in places. Very tragic; hallucinating your dead significant other trope. Has That boner scene. Dean: “I did everything I could to get you out! EVERYTHING!” Cas helps Dean see what truly happened in Purgatory and not his self-altered memories. PACKED!

8x08 – Hunteri Heroici: Hilarious, romantic, intimate. Dean and Cas have an heart to heart. They actually communicate. Cas “I’ll watch over you.”

8x10 Torn and Frayed: They work a case together, and when I say heart eyes…

8x17 – Goodbye Stranger: THIS. EPISODE. Dean “I need you.”

8x19 – Taxi Driver: Separation. Naomi to Dean: "You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty; I only wish he felt the same way."

8x22 – Clip Show: Lack of trust, hurt, tense interactions. Romantic too (basically, Cas gets Dean an apology basket).

8x23 – Sacrifice: Meaningful conversation and a gay couple hit by Cupid parallel. Dean “So this is it? E.T goes home?"

 Season 9

9x01 – I think I’m Gonna Like it Here: Dean prays to Cas IN.A.CHAPEL. Worry, longing, separation. Dean “Please, man, I need you here.”

9x03 – I’m No Angel: Human!Cas and jealous!Dean.

9x06 – Heaven Can’t Wait: Human!Cas TEXT-BOOK LONGING. GAY AS FUCK. Gazing, touching, they even TALK (for real).

9x09 – Holy Terror: Adorable Cas, flirty vibes, happyish, funny. Cas: “Cas is back in town!”

9x10 – Road Trip: Cas comforts Dean, Cas and Crowley bitching at each other, overall protective!Cas.

9x18 – Metafiction. Cas finds out about the Mark of Cain.

9x21 – King of the Damned: Hug, strong boyfriends vibes.

9x22 – Stairway to Heaven: Cas gives up an entire army, for Dean. Metatron about Cas “He's in love………………………. with humanity.”

9x23  – Do You Believe in Miracles?: At this point, it’s canon stated that Cas will do anything and lose everything if that means saving Dean. Metatron to Cas “You draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right?”

 Season 10

10x01 – Black: Demon!Dean and sick/brokenhearted Cas in a slutty robe missing his man.

10x03 – Soul Survivor: ICONIC. Angel on Demon action! Cas turns down Hannah because he’s too gay and in love. Intimate Deancas talk.

10x05 – Fan Fiction: No Cas, but Destiel references. 

10x09 – The Things We Left Behind: That.Lunch.Date. Deancas introduction to co-parenting.

10x14 – The Executioner’s Song: We get Daddy Murder aka Cain. This is a Pivotal episode to understand Dean’s character development. Plus, it has Deancas interactions.

10x16 – Paint It Black: No Cas, but Dean opens up in confessionary; repressed BISEXUAL AS FUCK.

10x18 – Book of the Damned: Charlie meets Cas. Gay energies everywhere. Cute domestic little scene.

10x20 – Angel Heart: PARENTING! Essential to understand Cas from this point forward.

10x22 – The Prisoner: Just… just watch it. One of THEE Destiel episodes.

10x23 – Brother’s Keeper: No Deancas interactions but it’s the finale, and I recommend watching it because next season takes off literally right from here. No time jumps.

 Season 11

11x02 – Form and Void: Could skip to the very end which is when Cas comes back.

11x03 – The Bad Seed: Cursed!Cas. Dean takes care of him, even wraps him in a blanket. He also cradles his face. Extreme Hurt/Comfort. Jacting joices rejoice.

11x10 – The Devil in the Details: Could skip but has Casifer in it. Interesting to see his dynamic with Dean.

11x18 – Hell’s Angel: Casifer. Dean "It? It's not an it, Sam, it's Cas!"

11x23 – Alpha and Omega: Huggg! Cas willing to go on a guaranteed suicide mission with Dean. Very tender and sad.

 Season 12

12x02 – Keep Calm and Carry On: ANOTHER HUG! Dean presents his boyfriend to his mom<3 Soft and romantic.

12x09 – First Blood: Reunion hug<3, Cas pining… as in he counts his every minute without Dean.

12x10 – Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets: Direct parallel with canon couple. Crystal-clear mutual affection. One of the best. Angel Ishim to Cas about Dean “I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna cure you of your human weakness same way I cured my own… by cutting it out.”

12x12 – Stuck in the Middle with You: A dying Cas confesses his love. “I love you. I love all of you.”

12x19 – The Future: We find out Dean gave Cas a MIXTAPE!!! Very romantic and full of yearning, also worry and what could be seen as a betrayal (ish…).

12x23 – All Along the Watch Tower: Hands down, one of the most distressing Destiel episodes. Cas dies.

 Season 13

13x01 – Lost and Found: This is the worst because you have Dean trying to assimilate Cas’ death. Core of Dean’s widow’s arc. Jack introduction, that’s their new kid.

13x02 – The Rising Son: Widow’s arc (you could skip it, but why would you?).

13x03 – Patience: Widow’s arc (you could skip it, but why would you?). Dean to Sam “He manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!”

13x04 – The Big Empty: Continuation of widow’s arc and Cas wakes up in the Empty. The Empty to Cas: "I know who you love. There's nothing for you back there." // Dean to Sam “I need you to keep the faith, for both of us. ‘Cause right now, I… Right now, I don’t believe in a damn thing.”

13x05 – Advanced Thanatology: Suicidal and hopeless Dean gets his win. Cas comes back. Gives me the chills.

13x06 – Tombstone: COWBOY BOYFRIENDS!

13x14 – Good Intentions: Happy and fun Destiel scene. So Very Married.

13x23 – Let The Good Times Roll: Season finale, Dean talks about retiring (plans include Cas of course) and just very nice to see them interact.

Season 14

14x03 – The Scar: Reunion.

14x08 – Byzantium: Deanand Cas dealing with their child’s death, then bringing him back by Cas making a deal with the Empty. IMPORTANT EPISODE.

14x09 – The Spear: Cas uses the royal We – married behavior.

14x10 – Nihilism: Dean is stuck in his own mind, and Cas and Sam try to bring him back. Cas “Please, you have to -- you have to try to remember, because the people in your life -- in your real life, out there -- we need you to come back.”

14x12 – Prophet and Loss: Dean gets his very own Dr. Sexy, aka Dr. Cas.

14x14 – Ouroboros: Basically another date (their kid tags along) and They TALK. Very intimate and established marriage vibes.

14x18 – Absence: Shits starts to go south. [ Dean: “Who cares what Jack said? We don't know what happened! But I swear, if he did something to her, if she is -- (points to Castiel) Then you're dead to me. (Castiel looks crushed after Dean says that).]

14x20 – Moriah: Tense and very upsetting. Relationship very damaged.

 Season 15 (I would advise watching the entire season because it relies heavily on Destiel. They’re the heart and the emotional motor leading the plot onwards.)

15x01 – Back and To The Future: Deancas’ in the aftermath of their kid’s death. Tension gets worse.

15x02 – Raising Hell: Tension rises, this is very intense. Cas “Dean. You asked, "What about all of this is real?" We are.”

15x03 – The Rupture: Breaking point ends in divorce.

15x06 – Golden Time: Painful phone call which speaks volumes about the current state of their relationship at the time. Also, good to see where they’re standing and how they’re coping.

15x08 – Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven: Strained relationship so obvious they’re offered couples’ therapy.

15x09 – The Trap: MASTERPIECE. Back to Purgatory. Can (and is) taken as Dean’s love confession (because it is). 

15x12 – Galaxy Brain: So married. Little domestic date, you can see LOVE written in their faces.

15x13 – Destiny’s Child: AU!Dean and Sam. Not a yearning episode per se, but AU!Dean? SO GAY.

15x17 – Unity: God reveals that the only act of free will in any universe he ever created has been Cas choosing Dean.

15x18 – Despair: Cas confesses his love to Dean.

#Anonymous #thanks for coming to my ted talk #im posting this at 2:30 am so i'll most likely reblog it at a more reasonable hour ..in case anon is closer to my time zone #why am i even saying this..im sleepy #destiel #answered #destiel episode guide #there might be number/name mistakes because again sleepish.forgive me #long post

[according-to-the-laura]

StackedNatural Day 11: 7x02

StackedNatural Masterpost: [x]

September 30, 2021

7x02: Hello, Cruel World

Written by: Ben Edlund

Directed by: Guy Bee

Original air date: September 30, 2011

Plot Synopsis:

The leviathans destroy Castiel's body and break loose. Now Sam, Dean, and Bobby have to track them all down. Meanwhile, Sam is beginning to struggle with what is real and what is a hallucination.

Features:

Cas walks into the reservoir, Dean holding the trenchcoat like a war widow, more Lucifer hallucinations, finally an episode for the Samgirls, Bobby is a good dad and also capable of performing an autopsy, the indestructibility of leviathans.

My Thoughts:

Half of the effects in this episode are really cool and the other half are incredibly, atrociously bad. I love the black goo dripping off Cas’ fingers and down his face, it is so gross and so ominous and so good. The reveal of the Leviathan mouths though….. Just the worst cgi I’ve ever seen on this show, and there’s a fair amount of bad cgi on Supernatural.

The disappointing thing is that even without enough lead up on the leviathans as a monster (see my thoughts on what would happen this season in the secret good supernatural here), they’re a really cool monster until you see the bad mouths. The ability to infect people via dark clouds in the local water supply (hello, Dead in the Water parallel) and to blend in based on the knowledge of their host body (vessel?) is really cool! The blood splatter was a bit overdone, but it was in a fun way and definitely showed how lethal they are. And then the mouths appear and I completely lose the ability to take them seriously. Also, what a bummer that the one leviathan didn’t stay in the little girl. I love when the monsters are creepy little kids.

This episode gets a bump in my rating because I love watching Dean pick Cas’ coat out of the water and fold it up like a war widow with a flag while he says “dumb son of a bitch” in the shakiest little voice. Makes me sad in a way that is also somehow over the moon.

The Lucifer hallucinations ramp up in this episode and I love them, personally. Unreality plot lines are so fun and I think this one is really well done, even though I wish it ramped up a bit slower. This is my complaint for basically this entire season, can you tell that I love a slow burn? Anyways, I think the scene where Sam is talking to Dean and Bobby about his hallucinations and Lucifer is chiming in rules. It’s just good storytelling! Also very much enjoyed one of the later Lucifer hallucination scenes when Sam is in the kitchen and Lucifer is in the living room, and has red rim lighting along one side of his body the same way Sam does in the season 4 premiere. Good shit.

Do we ever get an explanation about what happens to the original hosts of the leviathans? Like once they’re in a human body they can shapeshift (but NOT in a cool way by ripping off their skin like the original shifters), so when does the soul of the host leave the body? This will never be answered.

If anyone else was curious, I looked up what “5150’d” means (Sam says, “Look, Bobby’s running the hub, I’m – I’m 5150’d, which leaves you to follow this thing up”), and it’s the number of the section of the Welfare and Institutions Code, which allows a person with a mental illness to be involuntarily detained for a 72-hour psychiatric hospitalization.

I do like that Sam and Dean get a chance to talk about their respective Hell-trauma finally, but if I’m remembering right it doesn’t really go much deeper than what we see in this episode, which does bum me out in a big way. Unpack your mental issues! Try and get better! These boys need a therapist (and medication probably wouldn’t hurt, Sam).

Notable/Kickass Lines:

“You think this fruit-bat fever dream is reality? You come back, I'm sorry, with no soul like some peppy American Psycho, till Saint Dean glues you back together again by buying you some magic amnesia. You’re real. I’m very real. Everything between is what we call set dressing.”

“It had to be a mess, Sam, or you wouldn’t believe it was your life.”

“You just lost one of the best friends you ever had, your brother’s in the bell jar, and Purgatory’s most wanted are surfing the sewer lines, but yeah, yeah, I get it. You’re – you're fine.”

“Now we’re getting there. Pinocchio’s seeing his strings.”

“Hey, so maybe I’m not real. Nobody’s perfect. And I’m not going anywhere, Sam.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 7.5

IMdB rating: 8.5

In Conclusion: Tomorrow is The End, one of my all-time favourite episodes! Get excited!

Also, if you’re in Canada, happy first ever National Day for Truth and Reconciliation. My trash province won’t recognize it but my not-trash employer thankfully will.

<< Previous Day | Next Day >>

#Stackednatural #supernatural #spn #7x02 #Hello Cruel World #any spn episode with a comma in the title is targeting me personally

[wormstacheangel]

What are the best episodes with Castiel to watch?

Hello! Sorry, this took me a while to answer but here you go! If I miss some it’s cause I don’t remember anything or I was just Bleh about it.

Castiel Epiosdes

4x01 ICONIC 

4x16 ICONIC

4x20 Jimmy is important to Cas and I love him. 

4x22 ICONIC Greenroom. Cas picks a side aka Dean.

5x03 Cas and Dean being friends! Gay panic is real my friends. 

5x04 THE END. “It's the end, baby. “

5x13 “Sam is my friend.” 

5x14 Cupid (He made a cameo video it was cute) and Cas eating raw meat off the floor.

5x16 “You son of a bitch! I believed in-” OWW

5x17 Drunk Cas.

5x18 At this point he’s just done with everything. So he just carves, YES CARVES, an angel banishing sigil into his own chest. He does not hesitate.

Season 6 is good for Cas because the whole time he’s apart of a civil war and is just a terrible liar.

6x06 I am trying not to make this list about Destiel but the scene where Cas pours Dean’s drink. 

6x10 Pizza Man.

6x19 Baby in a trenchcoat aka leader of the heaven rebellion but sure Dean. He’s just cute. 

6x20 ICONIC 

6x21& 22 Both show that Cas is slowly realizing that he is not in control. 

7x01 The whole episode is wild but Cas just going to heaven and saying I’m Daddy now really takes the cake. (not the actual words he used.)

7x02 Cas’s death #3?

7x17 MISHA -- OH um, I mean CAS to the rescue lol

7x21 His cute little laugh! Honey!Cas has my heart and soul. Bonus Destiel: “ When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!” RIP Hester Queen

7x23 “Cursed or not.” Also his little smile when he asks for the plan ahh!

aka all episodes in s7 with Cas in it is worth watching.

Okay, I’ll try to control myself now but watch all of s8 cause its beautiful.

8x02 We see Dean’s POV to the purgatory portal scene. Also, hear Cas’s reason for leaving Dean.

8x07 We see Cas’s POV of the purgatory pov scene. Also, learn how Cas escapes purgatory. 

8x08 “I’m gonna be a hunter.” He’s so CUTE!

8x10 Cas needs a hug. Please.

8x17 ICONIC. “what broke the connection?” AHH

8x21 Badass Castiel

8x22 & 23 Castiel wants to do good. He wants to help but he just puts his trust in the wrong people. It hurts me so much. Look he’s just a small child and he is dealing with a lot right now. 

Season 9 Cas looks good. Like fanservice time father of two!

9x01 First look at human Cas!

9x03 I can’t watch this ending again. It’ll make me spiral. But it’s a good human Cas and destiel episode. Also, fuck April. She gross. 

9x06 ICONIC BLESSED jilted lover. 

9x09 He looks good.

9x10 “I prefer the word trusting. Less dumb. Less ass.” They are both dumbasses.

9x11 Sam & Cas chaotic vibes

9x14 Cas storyline with the angels starts or at least makes it more clear idk

9x18 Gabriel! Also, “Damn it, Dean!” and Cas accepts his role as a leader. The angels are dumb. 

9x22 Sam & Cas dream team lol Also, Cas picks Dean over heaven again.

9x23  “--and for what again? Oh, that's right -- to save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right? Well, guess what. He's dead, too.”

10x01 Cas draped across the bed like a victorian lady waiting for her husband to come back from the war

10x03 You know that scene where he’s lying on the floor bloody and dying and the Crowley saves him. And then Cas glows and heals with grace and he’s glaring up at Crowley? You know that scene. Yeah. Bonus: I’m gay and bloody Hannah is also hot. Small tip: Ignore the creepy/gross Hannah and Cas set up the writers are trying to do. They are siblings. 

10x09 Claire! That’s his daughter!

10x10 Claire and Cas make me cry.

10x14 Deleted scene of “Maybe he’s your boyfriend.” 

10x17 Sam & Cas! They are best friends, you guys!

10x18 Charlie and Cas meet! AND THEY ARE ALL HAPPY AND I CRY

10x20 Claire! Cas get’s her a birthday present, grumpy cat stuffy, and she keeps it! And I cry. And she saves him. And she cares about him. 

okay 10x21 cause of Charlie and Cas but also fuck this episode. Charlie deserved better. 

10x22 ICONIC gosh damn it. I-

10x23 Just for backstory for Cas in s11. Our poor boy can't catch a break. 

I worked on this for two hours now Nonny and I don’t even care. I miss Cas.

Season 11 hurts my damn soul because of Cas. I won’t include Casifer, though it was A LOT of fun to watch him.

11x01 “Dean, did it work?” I wanna hold this poor sad madly in love man. 

11x02 I can’t handle the torture. He looks so sad.

11x03 Bless you director, Jensen Ross Ackles.

11x04 Okay, not a lot of Cas but I love this episode. 

11x06 They don’t talk about his trauma but they show us a little when he tries to leave the bunker. And I cried. Once again. Let. Me. Hold. Him. 

11x10 Ambriel glad you are dead cause you were SO rude. Also, Amara girly, queen, I love you but apologize. Stop being mean to Castiel.

11x22 Cas get’s to talk and that’s nice

11x23 “I can go with you.” Sir, you just came back from being possessed by THEE satan and now you are ready to die by your future husband's side. You need therapy. 

Okay, I stopped watching live after season 11 because of the way they treated Cas so these next seasons I binged watched ( a couple of times) but wasn’t apart of the fandom so it feels like I didn’t fully grasp them. But here we go!

12x01 Cas meets his mother-in-law. Also the little, “Dean!” when he hugs him. 

12x02 Cas and Mick :)

12x03 Agent Beyonce and Zee lol Cas and Crowley and should have had a sitcom 

12x08 Cas gets a text (angel radio) that he’s gonna be a Dad and it looks like when Alice had a vision of the Volturi in Breaking Dawn Part 2 lol

12x09 Let me hug Cas! He’s sad over his family being gone. Also, Mary, I love you but I don’t forgive anybody for being mean to Cas. All the Winchesters are on thin fucking ice with me. 

12x10 ICONIC destiel. Cas in a female vessel. 

12x12 ICONIC “I love you. I love all of you.” 

12x19 Worried husband Dean. Excited soon-to-be father Cas.

12x23 Cas dies (again) from child birth.

Watch the first few episodes of season 13 for the famous widower arc cause wtf they gave us THAT. Also, I don’t care for the other world storyline so I pushed that out of my head. 

13x04 Cas annoying a cosmic entity. Fun fact! I dislike the trenchcoat cause it looked so stiff and the color was off idk didn’t look great but Cas looked beautiful when he looks up at the sun! Ah!

13x05 IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN

13x06 ICONIC BROKEBACKNATURAL Also, Jack and Cas meet and I cried damn it. “I missed you.” That’s his son!

13x07 Cas doesn’t put anybody or anything above his baby boy

13x12 Cas has the dumbest husband but at least Cas stabs lucifer. Bet Misha felt good

13x14 Badass Cas. He’s a top. lol 

13x16 ICONIC Cas looks...great. Like, watch it. I would do anything for cartoon!cas

13x19Just cause Cas faced someone who tortured him and it’s made to seem like he should get over it and it pisses me off. But Naomi is so cool so idk I like her but would fight her

13x22 Otherworld Cas is there and Cas just kills himself. He needs therapy. 

13x23 Cas’s face when Dean says yes. Also, family hunting trip yay

14x01 Dadstiel! Also, Cas looks good. 

14x03 Dadstiel.

14x07 Dadstiel. “Losing a son feels different.” And I cry. 

14x08 “because I love you Jack. And Sam and Dean--they love you.” THEY DO LOVE HIM AHHHH! Also, Empty deal is made as an excuse for the writers to do something with Cas later. 

I just realized season 14 is just Cas trying desperately to keep his family together. He’s trying to take care of them and he has the right words to say to everyone but not much happens besides him wanting to be a family man. 

14x14 gay on gay violence lol Also another family hunting trip! 

14x15 Fav episode! I just love Sam & Cas’s dumb chaotic energy in this ahaha! They are best friends damn it!

14x18 Cas is trying desperately to keep his family together and he feels responsible for Mary

14x19 Cas should have been allowed to kick Sam and Dean’s dumb flat asses for locking his baby boy in a box. 

14x20 AHHH

Divorce arc! All of s15 is great! Except you know...19&20 but we ignore that in this house. 

15x03 ICONIC but I will never watch it again

15x06 dude, they really be broken up. Cas kicks ass by himself and he’s fishing and he’s so cute. 

15x09 ICONIC Let him talk, Castiel!

15x11 Cas is THEE best Dad and let’s Jack eat hearts

15x13 Just for the family.

15x15 :(

15x17 Cas working to keep his baby boy

15x18 :( I mean at least he’s out but :(

Okay, this took me all day and I had fun! Nobody is gonna read it but who cares cause I just spent my day thinking of Cas when I had a pretty shit day so thanks, Nonnie! 

#answering the q's #castiel #cas #episode rec #? idk #but here you go! #Anonymous

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XCV

It was a love story from the very beginning.

And You Are Not Here... (Part. III)

(13x04)

Hello my friends! This is another meta from season 13. We are still mourning with Dean...

I'm gonna focus in just one episode, because I have a lot of things to say about this one. Obviously, the majority of the things have been already analyzed by the meta community.

But, let's see what we find...

Move on

Remember how the last episode ended, with Dean blowing out his feelings and pain to his brother, so, this episode starts with Sam trying to talk with his brother about that. And by that I mean: Cas.

SAM: Hey. How you feelin’?

[DEAN is working on his laptop. He looks up at SAM, but doesn’t reply.]

Sam understands now that fact he had always suspect, what really means to Dean losing Castiel. But Dean sees it coming and doesn't answer, because he knows he let his pain and mourn talking by themselves, and now he wants to come back to hide behind his walls. But Sam won't let that goes so easy. Another heated discussion about Jack brings the topic back.

SAM: Dean, we can’t hide him forever. And, you know, just keeping him cooped up here isn’t working.

DEAN: Yeah, it is, actually. You wanna know why? Because as long as he’s here, he’s not out there doing God knows what. So what, does this mean that your plan for bringing Mom back isn’t working? ‘Cause I’ll say it again—Mom’s dead, Sam. Lucifer ripped out her freakin’ heart. Now, the sooner you can wrap your head around that, the sooner we can all move on.

(Gif set credit @demondetoxmanual )

Look at this, Sam takes Dean's words and immediately repeats the ask but with another different meaning, aeaning his brother gets immediately. Sam tilts his head, and his eyes are searching for the answer in Dean's face, because he knows he won't have the answer in words from him.

These exchange of gazes is so so important, because Dean is saying "Are you really asking me if I can move on... From CAS?" Because is obvious Sam was implying that, for Dean, losing Cas was more painful and unbearable than losing Mary. "You want to move on, from mom?"

The pause, the coma, is pointing Sam is referring Castiel, not mom. Is not mom the one you want to move on, right?

Dean's silence is priceless, both men talks without talking, and both know what they're talking about. Of course Dean can't move on from Castiel. And Sam knows it. Because he experienced the same with Jess.

And Dean changing the subject after that is saying HE WON'T TALK ABOUT IT.

Lies and Toxicity

We have a beautiful scene between Jack and Sam, in which Jack snaps all the bad things he heard last night. But Sam explains to him, they need his help to bring Mary back, and Jack can connect again with S through the pain of losing their moms. And he gives the kid a tip to conquer Dean's sympathy.

SAM: (...) Listen, if there’s one thing that Dean respects, it’s effort. So come along. Help us out. Let’s go be the good guys.

So we'll see the kid really giving everything in this mission.

Another quote that caught my attention was Jack saying this:

JACK: I thought lying was wrong.

Just came to my mind episode 14x19, when Jack is sick of so much lies and turn the world into 'just truth's real madness!

And another foreshadow in the same episode we will have Cas coming back, they're talking about this ...

DEAN: (...) why’d she come back from the dead and knife his ass?

JACK: People come back?

SAM: When a person dies and their soul can’t move on…

Talking about this in this specific episode has a meaning: the wife, the woman that man loved coming back from the death, is a reflection of Castiel coming back at the end of this episode. Souls that can't move on, is talking about Dean and Castiel's decease.

Another thing that is pointed in this episode is Sam seeing the bad things of John Winchester in his brother.

Castiel in the Empty

As the preamble to Castiel in the Empty, we had this dialogue here...

JACK: My mother… could she be a ghost?

SAM: No, we, um… we burned the body.

DEAN: That’s right, and what gets burned… stays dead.

Dean is saying this to himself because they burnt Cas' body too, but this scene is cut and we jump into the next one: Castiel walking around the Empty.

Then, again, Dean goes with this quote here...

DEAN: So, aside from getting dead, what do Gloria and Wes have in common?

And the scene cuts to Castiel again, emphasis in loved people that was dead, and now comes back from it.

Another interesting scene is Dean finding Gloria's diary of mourning.

SAM: More of the same. Um, he really was into the whole catharsis thing.

DEAN: Yeah, sure. Who wouldn’t be? I mean, it’s like another word for “happy ending”.

Dean shows here he knows exactly what that is, and how you can feel when you lose the love of your life. The "happy ending" is a reference of a suicidal thoughts as another way out from the pain. And as we will see in the next episode, was a way out Dean was considering for himself. Also, the journal was made by John after Mary died, and was made by this widow, after his wife died. Is important because in the interview with MIA (the ship shifter therapist) she will ask Dean if he has a diary.

Sam talks about catharsis, as an important way to process the pain, and he really tried to make his brother to do that at the beginning of the episode. Failing.

MIA: Mm. Most of the people I see are in the same boat. No warning, no goodbye, no closure.

These words play an important role for Sam, Jack and Dean, in loosing their mothers and loosing Castiel.

They exchanged heated words again in front of Mia, Sam accusing Dean because he is not carrying well with the deaths, and we'll have again an indirect question, with second meaning. Sam will be talking about Castiel again. But then, and just like Dean did at the end of the previous episode, Sam will have his blow out about losing Mary. Is a blatant comparison between Romantic Love (CAS/Dean) and Family Love (Sam/Mary).

Sam leaves, and Mia points at Dean. Dean drinks from his flask. He was doing that and eating a lot, as he always does when he loses Cas.

MIA: (...) You’re angry, Dean.

DEAN: And?

MIA: And if you don’t want to do anything about it, that’s your business. But you’re aiming it at everyone in your life.

Dean will take these words and do something about it, at the end of the episode. But, I want to talk a little about visual Narrative here, because while Mia was talking with Dean, there was a picture behind her, with BLUE/GREEN AND RED COLORS (Destiel).

The scene between CAS talking with the empty that had taken his shape is intertwined with the shape shifter that took Dean's shape. This is very meaningful bc both creatures decided to take the protagonists of this love story shapes.

So, the Empty explains where Castiel is, and also, is baffled by the angel that woke him up. Is the first time someone wakes up in the Empty, and the entity is really mad at it.

But Castiel doesn't know why he woke up, so, he went with the first idea: Maybe the Winchesters did some deal or spell. But they didn't.

The Empty represents all the darkness inside of Castiel: his doubts, his depression, his fears, his weakness. So, the only way to keep him there SLEEPING (as the image of depression) is to point at the lack of faith in coming back, or in feeling himself loved or needed.

The following dialogue shows us how smart is our angel.

CASTIEL: Having me awake causes you pain.

COSMIC ENTITY: If you can’t sleep, I can’t sleep. Yeah? And I like sleep. I need sleep.

CASTIEL: Then get rid of me.

COSMIC ENTITY: Oh, should I, should I?

CASTIEL: Send me back to Earth.

Castiel immediately detect the point of it, and tries to give a resolution for both of them.

COSMIC ENTITY: Or I throw you so deep into the Empty that you can’t bother me anymore, hmm?

CASTIEL: Except you know that won’t work, or you would’ve done it already.

COSMIC ENTITY: Pretty smart. Pretty smart, dummy.

CASTIEL: Send… Me… Back.

The first conclusion CAS arrives is by his side. The only way the Empty can get some peace is sending him back to Earth. What Cas doesn't know is, the empty won't come back to sleep, ever again after this.

COSMIC ENTITY: That’s not part of the deal. No, no. Besides, you don’t want to go back.

CASTIEL: Yes, I do. Sam and Dean need me.

COSMIC ENTITY: Oh, save it.

When the Empty says SAVE IT, is because he knows the excuse is making CAS to come back, is not the real one he has in his heart. Oh, save it is not because of that, is because ONE MAN NAMED DEAN WINCHESTER.

Because immediately after this, the Empty mocks him about it...

(Gif set credit @petercapaldi )

Look at Castiel's face when the Empty refers to his feelings as TULIPS, because the tulips represents the perfect lover, passion and romanticism. The tulip is a symbol of sincere love. It is an incredibly romantic flower that when giving it you express infatuation, passion, unconditional love, pure love.

So, the Empty is saying here: save it, you are in love, you want to come back because you are in love.

To the Empty, is very disgusting, aberrant, and it annoys him. He qualifies it as "little feelings"

Because he's trying to erase the hopes in Castiel. So, he shows him he knows everything about him, and if he didn't understand at first with the tulips reference, he makes it clear now I KNOW WHO YOU LOVE.

And seeding again the depression, because he needs CAS sleeping or defeated, he continues...

Unrequited Love. The Empty exposes right in front of Cas' eyes the fear of being unrequited. With this, he is trying to show him WHY WOULD YOU COME BACK IF DEAN DOESN'T LOVE YOU BACK? He needs to cut any hopes in the angel.

And after this, he shows CAS l his mistakes, and fears, and regrets, and guilts. All the bad things, all his darkness, to put him back to sleep.

But then, Castiel gets it, he is already saved. And with more energy and hopes inside his heart, he faces the empty again:

CASTIEL You can prance and you can preen and you can scream and yell and remind me of my failings but somehow, I’m awake. And I will stay awake and I will keep you awake until we both go insane. I will fight you. Fight you and fight you for…ever. For eternity.

COSMIC ENTITY No. No.

CASTIEL Release me. Release… me.

Symbolism again! Castiel asking his own darkness and depression, and regrets to release him in that moment, he release himself from all of that and he returns stronger than never.

Lack of Faith

Back to Dean, Jack and Sam with the shape-shifters we can see another interesting visual element, next to Dean: Sunflower.

The sunflower is the symbol of the Sun and symbolizes love and admiration. But also happiness, vitality, positivity and energy. ... For some religions it is a symbol of the one who permanently seeks God, the divine, since the star king symbolizes God.

This could be linked to what Dean means to Cas, but I think is mostly what Cas means to Dean.

But jumping into the dialogues and the symbolism and parallel of having two Deans as we had two Cas, there's a little clue for a foreshadow...

Look at this, the scene is pretty blatant, we have Buddy, Mia's ex, obssesed with her, jealouse of her life, intertwined with the dialogue between Dean and Jack, showing how important Jack is.

So, Buddy is the Empty, Mia is Castiel. And the most important thing in there, is Jack... These are the ingredients and this is the dialogue...

BUDDY: I never stopped looking for you.

JACK: I can’t.

BUDDY: And when I found this place, when I saw all that…

DEAN: Yes, you can.

BUDDY: …warm, fuzzy good you were doing. I couldn’t let you have that.

Buddy is the Empty saying to Mia, CAS, that he will search for him in a future, and he will see his happiness, one of the most important persons to CAS is JACK, that's why the dialogues are mixed here.

DEAN: Sammy believes in you, and when he believes, he’ll go Hell for leather…

BUDDY:

So I took it all away, and it was fun.

DEAN …but you gotta try.

Again, the Empty mirror talking about taking all away from Mia, Castiel's mirror, and we have Dean talking to Jack. This is the foreshadow of 14x08, when the Empty will come for Jack in Heaven.

MIA You’re… you’re a…

BUDDY: What? A monster? Well, so are you. And it’s about time you embraced that. So I’m not gonna kill those boys. You are. You end them, or you die, courtesy of Tweedledee’s silver bullets. So what’s it gonna be, princess?

MIA: Shoot me. Shoot me!

And now we have Castiel's mirror giving her life in exchange for Dean and Jack. Just like CAS will do with his deal with the Empty in 14x08 and his ultimate Sacrifice in 15x18.

Now, the last scene. Sam is ready to move on from having faith but Dean will take the advice that Mia gave him. But in this attempt of stopping Sam from being like him, he will show again one of his deepest feelings...

(Gif set credit @aborddelimpala)

Dean had lost faith, hopes, because he lost Castiel. And Castiel represented all of that to him.

Sam is worried, and Dean just realized he said it. He had just showed his brother part of his depressive thoughts. And the sadness in his face is all over.

Miscellaneous: The address in Mia's office door was 219, this is a very interesting visual element, is a reference to episode 2x19, "Folsom Prison Blues", in which Sam and Dean were two prisoners, trying to show their innocence. Finally breaking free. As a foreshadow of the emotional prison we will see in Dean's possesion in episode 14x09.

To Conclude:

This episode is full of symbolism and is centered on Castiel and his storyline with the Empty.

The episode shows us too the pain carried by Dean, Jack and Sam in loosing the people they love and how each one of them walks through it in different ways.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from this season here you have the links:

Vol. XCIII, XCIV.

Buenos Aires, January 3rd 2021 6:46 PM

#destiel #destiel chronicles #destiel meta #Supernatural meta #season 13 meta #13x04 meta #Castiel #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #Jack Kline

[clairenatural]

i'm not trying to be negative but i wish i could be as happy as everyone else about cas confessing to dean. i am a deancas shipper and i thought the monologue was great and misha did a fantastic job with it. but it's not really surprising that cas is canonically in love with dean. yes, it's incredibly important that it's recognized as canon but to me it's more important to have dean admit his feelings for cas and have it be canon that dean winchester is in love with castiel. pt 1

for me, that would be a more satisfying validation. i keep seeing people say that it's enough that cas' feelings are canon and they don't care if dean reciprocates and i could not disagree more. dean needs to also admit his feelings to cas and say all the things he has never allowed himself to say. cas deserves that so much. pt 2

hello!

I hear you and I think your feelings are absolutely understandable, and I’m not here to shove positivity down your throat. I also agree with you that I do really care that Dean reciprocates. Cas has never been told “I love you” and he absolutely deserves it!! I actually get kinda mad if I think about that too long, how this last episode was filled with him saying beautiful things to both Jack and Dean that nobody has ever told him but this is a positive post so I won’t start that. I really don’t think we’re going to get a 3-minute long love confession from Dean because that’s just....truly not in character, at least at this point in time, but I still do think we’ll get some sort of confirmation of Dean’s feelings.

What I will also say, though, and where I’ve personally landed with all this, is that before 15x18 Dean’s feelings for Cas were just as obvious and textual as Cas’ for Dean (I say before 15x18 because we don’t have anything that compares to that from Dean yet--although honestly, the purgatory prayer might be close). And 15x18 didn’t actually give us any new info, it just said “what you’ve been seeing all along was real.” So, logically, what we’ve been seeing from Dean all along is also real, even if they don’t ever say it. I can think of just as many scenes/lines/parallels that suggest Dean is in love with Cas off the top of my head as the other way around (potentially even more....like the Cas/Colette parallel???? The widower arc??? absolutely unmatched).

So yeah, I agree with you that it’s super important that Dean reciprocates, but for me it’s pretty already clear he does. Would I love to hear him say it, knowing that’s how Jensen’s playing it, knowing it was written into the script as romantic? Yes, of course, and I still have hope we’re gonna get it. But even if Dean doesn’t tell Cas he loves him romantically, I’d urge you to not discount everything you’ve already been seeing for the past 12 years!!! they’re in love and Dean loves him back :)

#answered #destiel #spn spoilers #spn spec #Anonymous

[thegeminisage]

top 13 spn episodes rated by me

because i like the number 13 better than i like the number 10. i feel like i’ve done this list before but i’m doing it again bc i want to ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

5.18 Point of No Return - this ep has a little bit of everything. suicidal dean, desperate sam, zach dying, michael drama, surly bobby, ANGRY castiel, and even a little adam cameo, and i like adam. also, this is the episode in which i finally, after months of struggling with it, decided to go ahead and stan cas. i have never looked back. he is just...so...done. god bless.

14.10 Nihilism - the ULTIMATE michael!dean episode where dean turns HIS OWN BODY into a cage. i have never been so hyped in my LIFE. i waited a DECADE for this!!! this actually ties with 5.18, god bless

11.04 Baby - THEEE impala episode how could this NOT make anyones list. come on. this episode ALSO has everything, even castiel!! the music, the late night talks, the daddy issues...mwah. chefs kiss. season 11 good actually

4.01 Lazarus Rising - what’s better than an episode-long intro to your favorite character? nothing. in addition: that good brotherly content, the samulet, AND the full 5 minutes of nonverbal Jacting in the opener. i could watch that section over and over

13.04 The Big Empty - castiel looked his metaphorical demons right in the eye and said FUCK YOU. the b-plot for this one isn’t bad, either - if i could list the entire widow arc as an episode i definitely would, but this has a lot of the best parts. the hopelessness, the grief, the slow struggle to overcome despair, and jack coming into himself as a real player on the board, the incredible transitions (“what’s burned stays dead!” and then we cut to cas in the empty i’m INSANE). but since i’m a cas girl and this is the ep in the arc with the most cas content i’m picking this one.

12.22 Who We Are - never in my life did i expect to live long enough to see mary winchester of all people unfridged and developed into a real, flawed human being. this is THEEE mary episode, and i love her so fucking much. i love her so FUCKING MUCH

7.02 Hello Cruel World - for a very very very VERY long time, i regarded this as the last truly good episode of supernatural. it’s certainly the last episode where lucifer is scary for a very long time, and the last time sam and dean get along for the last time. there’s even a cas cameo :(

11.09 O Brother Where Art Thou? - SEASON 5 AND 6 CALLBACKS EVERYWHERE! this is like 7.02 except it’s real. we love a good scary lucifer. i shouted about this for weeks nonstop after it aired

6.20 The Man Who Would Be King - i have mixed feelings about cas’s whole thing in season 6, but this is the only episode we ever get with him as the narrator, so there’s no way i’m leaving it off this list. i can do his little speech on the opening cold.

2.01 In My Time of Dying - LMAO I’M PRETTY SURE THIS IS THE FIRST TIME SPN MADE ME CRY. what a good john & dean episode. !dean lives in my head rent free.

14.07 Unhuman Nature - i can’t get through this episode without losing it lol. supernatural said we’re gonna cover grief and the inevitability of death with such tenderness you will never recover! and then i didn’t.

3.03 Bad Day at Black Rock - this was my favorite episode until 5.18 aired. it’s still a comfort episode; i can just put it on whenever. it’s like a perfect bottle episode, it’s funny without being too wild or too dramatic, the comedic timing IS perfect. forever in my heart as one of the only episodes in s3 i can stand <3

1.22 Devil’s Trap - do i even need to explain this. the JOHN AND DEAN. the DEMON. the MUSIC. the CAR ACCIDENT. MEGGGGG

[spn masterpost]

#personal #liz watches spn #i'm not 100% solid on this order but these are def the top 13

[fanfic-corner]

Darling, So It Goes

Happy holidays, @slothbaby424! I may not have had as much time as I would like to have had to work on your @destielsecretsanta2020 fic, but I hope you enjoy it anyway (so sorry but it has not been proofread. At all). And a big thank you to @exmintha for the idea when I was struggling!

Again, here’s the playlist. It’s not necessary, but I like listening to music while writing and it’s got a load of Christmas bops on as well!

And, here’s the fic! It is 4639 words, and here’s the link on AO3 if you prefer.

{o0o}

“Pretty please?”

Dean huffed in annoyance, shifting from foot to foot. He really didn’t want to spend a day being pestered by demanding young children and their parents, but when Donna asked like that… well, he wasn’t a monster. “Fine. But if anyone gets any kind of bodily fluid on me, I am out.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine, sweetheart,” she replied, grinning wildly, and Dean had to smile back. And so, that was how Dean Winchester found himself decked out in the full Santa outfit - beard and hat included - for the Wayward Sister’s Christmas party. 

Ever since they had set up the girl’s home, Jody and Donna had insisted on a big Christmas party. The first year, it was just a way to entertain the kids for the day, but since then it had evolved into an affair of epic standards. Practically the whole of Sioux Falls would show up at one point or another, usually with presents in tow. One year, Jody had confessed to Dean that they probably wouldn’t have been able to keep going without the support they got at Christmas.

To start with, Dean was not a good Santa. There were so many children that he had to keep track of, and who all wanted something and asked awkward questions that he didn’t have the answer to, and the hat was itchy and he could hardly see past the beard. By the time lunch rolled around, however, he had gotten into the swing of things, and was actually starting to enjoy himself.

That was when a stranger dumped a litre of chocolate milk over a guest’s head.

{o0o}

Castiel had been very grateful to get an invitation to a Christmas party, especially one from the people who had helped him adopt his son. He had learnt the hard way that society really doesn’t like gay people adopting kids, even if they were single.

Two hours after arriving, however, he was starting to have second thoughts. There were way more people than he expected and he had never been what someone might call a ‘social butterfly’. More like an ‘anti-social slug’, as Gabriel had once called him. The food was nice, but as it turned out, not all the people were.

“So, where’s your wife? Leave you with the kids, did she?” a man - Zachariah, Castiel thought his name was - said, punching him in the arm slightly harder than necessary.

“Oh, no, I enjoy doing things with Jack. And I’m not married.” 

Zachariah looked Castiel up and down, and let out an interesting noise. He supposed it was probably meant to resemble disbelief, but to him, it sounded like an elephant stomping on a whoopee cushion. “Divorced, are you?”

Castiel raised his eyebrows. Did this man realise he was asking wildly inappropriate questions? He had half a mind to say ‘widowed’ just to see his reaction, but he didn’t dare. “No, I’m not.”

Zachariah seemed mildly uneasy at that, as if he wasn’t sure what other options there were left. “Well, I’m sure a nice lady will come along soon.”

“Actually, I’m gay,” Castiel corrected. So what if it wasn’t 100% true? In his opinion, this idiot deserved to be made as uncomfortable as possible.

Zachariah’s reaction was a little more… extreme than he was expecting. And, by extreme, what Castiel meant was that the man seemed to go through several stages - disbelief, at first, then confusion, and then his posture turned rigid and his face started turning a deeper and deeper shade of tomato red - before completely exploding into some kind of homophobic rage.

Castiel wasn’t even listening to the man ranting, just picking up words like ‘Jesus’ and ‘disgusting’ and more slurs than he could count. He was more concerned by all the children nearby who could hear the garbage this man was spouting, and he needed a way to quickly shut him up.

So, he took the obvious route, and poured the entire carton of chocolate milk that he had got for Jack over his bald head.

{o0o}

Dean felt, as Santa, he should probably go and sort out whatever argument the two morons were having that led to the waste of a perfectly good drink. He had been concerned about kids getting some kind of gunk on him, but apparently adults were equally messy.

“Hey, hey, what’s going on?” Dean asked, standing slightly in between them even though he couldn’t imagine either of them starting a fist fight. The guy covered in milk looked furious, but he was the kind of jerk who wouldn’t want his suit to get any messier than it already was, and the other dude looked like he was in some kind of shock.

“This- This queer just assaulted me!” Suit Man shouted, and Dean suddenly and rather desperately hoped that that chocolate milk was never coming out.

“Excuse me?” he asked, not entirely sure how to respond to that.

“It’s disgusting. They shouldn’t be able to raise a child in that lifestyle. It’s appal-”

“Shut up,” Dean said, rather forcefully and uncomfortably aware of the entire room’s eyes on him.

“What did you just say to me?”

“I said, shut up. What is really disgusting here is your behaviour. You think it is okay to be horrible to another human being just because of who he loves? Now that is bad parenting.” 

If anyone asked him later, Dean would say that he was fuming. That his anger was clouding his judgement. That this dude was being an asshole at Christmas in front of kids. Maybe that’s why his brain spotted the teachable moment - no one argued with fucking Father Christmas - and leaned down, slowly pulling the other man towards him and kissing him gently.

To be honest, Dean was sure that he would pull away. In fact, he gave the stranger plenty of time to do so. But instead, he kissed back. Maybe he was in shock. Maybe he also saw what Dean was doing. But they kissed, and Dean knew, somehow, that it was the beginning.

{o0o}

Castiel went to that stupid party because he thought it would be a good way to entertain Jack for the afternoon, and instead left feeling simultaneously embarrassed, with the bonus of a random man’s number. Who he had kissed. In front of a room full of people.

To his continued surprise (although Castiel thought that perhaps there was a limit on how many surprises he could process in one day), the man - Dean, he said his name was, seemed genuinely interested in going on a date with him.

The Roadhouse didn’t look like a particularly romantic spot, but he was not backing out now.

“You must be Castiel.” A stern-looking woman looks him up and down before nodding in approval. “I’m Ellen. You better not hurt my boy,” she warned with a threatening smile, gesturing towards where Dean was sitting in a booth in the corner. He was clearly not reading the menu, his eyes glassy and unfocused, but he fiddled with it anyway, his leg restlessly bouncing under the table.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel greeted as he sat down, hoping he was hiding his nerves as well as he thought he was. Remember, fake it ‘til you make it, Meg’s voice reminded him. She had been so excited when he called her about his date, threatening him with unspeakable violence if he didn’t show up. Although, Meg could threaten unspeakable violence about anything. She once left the entirety of his cutlery drawer under Castiel’s duvet just because he forgot to feed her cat once.

“Hiya, Cas,” Dean replied, grinning at him. Even though he was clearly nervous, he still seemed sincerely glad to see him, and it warmed his heart. “You don’t mind if I call ya that, right? Oh - before I forget, you should totally get the Elvis burger. It’s absolutely amazing.”

The meal went remarkably well, considering that Cas usually avoided dates like the plague. First dates were the worst - the annoyance of getting to know each other, and the inevitable awkwardness at the end - and he rarely saw anyone more than once. After a particularly bad night, which had ended with Meg having to come and pick him up from a park during a thunderstorm, Cas had sworn off dating. Yet, here he was, and he couldn’t deny he was enjoying himself.

Just as they had finished eating, two girls bounded up to the table. They clearly knew Dean somehow; one was skinny and blonde and Cas could swear that he could see a knife peeking out from her apron, and the other had flaming red hair and a t-shirt which proclaimed ‘the internet is broken, so I’m outside today’.

“Wanna decorate cookies with us?” they exclaimed at the same time, and before he could process what was happening, Cas had been dragged over to the kitchen where there was already a tray of perfect biscuits cooling on the counter.

The next half an hour was spent in a whirlwind of icing and sprinkles and sugar, and Cas loved every minute, although he really hoped that none of the cookies ended up being given to customers, because he had seen Jack make mud cakes more hygienic than this. Charlie sat in a corner on her phone, blasting Christmas music while focused on texting and taking pictures, whereas Jo was thoroughly entertaining herself by drawing inappropriate designs on her biscuits. Dean and Cas’ actually ended up looking okay, but neither of them were artists, so the cookies still looked like they had been decorated by a toddler.

When they were finished, they left Charlie and Jo to clean up and went back into the main area of the now empty restaurant. A new song came over the speakers, slow and enchanting, and Dean offered Cas a hand. “A dance before you go?”

Dancing with Dean, Cas decided, was magical. They swayed together, gradually getting closer and closer until their chests were pressed together and Cas’ head was resting on Dean’s shoulder. For a minute, Cas could forget everything but this moment. He allowed himself to simply be lost in the music and the warmth of Dean’s body, listening to the steady thump of his heartbeat and feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest.

As the song ended, Dean carefully pulled apart just enough to lean down and join their lips in a tender kiss, and Cas thought that he could be in heaven.

But the kiss only got deeper and suddenly Cas’ mind flickered back online just in time to remind him what a ridiculous idea this was. Red flashing lights screamed and wailed and reminded him of what always happened, and the sudden warning jolted his body into action, pulling away from Dean in a panic.

Dean looked down at him with a lazy smile, only frowning when he realised something was wrong. “Cas? Wha- did I do something wrong?”

Cas was shaking his head and reversing all at once, all higher functioning processes having been thrown out of the window. He was babbling, apologising and saying it wasn’t Dean and all the while he knew he was on the edge of some kind of embarrassing meltdown, so in the end, he let his feet do the talking, and fled.

{o0o}

Dean didn’t think the fact he hadn’t left his house in two days had anything to do with the best date he had ever been on ending with the other dude running out on him, but apparently Charlie did. She had been pestering him all day, asking if he wanted to help her decorate for Christmas or go and get milkshakes or watch a film. No matter what she suggested, Dean always declined. He wasn’t feeling it, and if it had anything to do with the trenchcoat staring at him from across the room, he wasn’t going to admit it to anyone.

It wasn’t the first time someone had run out on him, of course, but usually that was on a particularly awkward date or if something bad had happened. He just couldn’t understand what had sent Cas running out of the Roadhouse like that, so panicstricken that he forgot his coat which he came with. Dean didn’t think he had read the situation that badly; in fact, he had been sure that the other man had been enjoying their date.

He sighed and pulled the pillow over his head, trying to ignore his phone as it pinged constantly. Yeah, it was probably Charlie spamming him, but there was always the chance it could be Cas…

Charlie: What about we just go on a really long drive?

Charlie: You can pick the music

Charlie: You shouldn’t be cooped up on Christmas eve eve!

Charlie: Dean Winchester, you better not be ignoring me

Charlie: Dean???

Ellen: You still coming to the party tomorrow?

Oh, shit. Dean had totally forgotten about the Annual Roadhouse Christmas Bash. It was the perfect opportunity to distribute the presents and cards he bought, there was plenty of delicious (and free!) food, and it was generally the highlight of his Christmas. Everyone would be there - Ellen and Jo, Bobby, Charlie, and practically everyone else who lived within a hundred mile radius.

No matter how down Dean was feeling, he wouldn’t miss it for the world. In his opinion, family came before everything.

Dean: course i am

{o0o}

“Come on Clarence, it’s Christmas!” Meg encouraged, nudging Castiel’s shoulder. “I’ll go with you, and Claire can watch Jack. She already agreed.”

Castiel looked down at the napping toddler, one thumb in his mouth and a teddy clutched tight in his tiny hands. It felt like he had barely spent any time with his son in forever, even though he knew it wasn’t true. He knew that if he really didn’t want to go, Meg would let him weasel his way out of this particular social gathering, but he couldn’t help but think that it might be good for him. 

“An hour’s all I’m asking,” Meg begged. He was surprised she hadn’t threatened him with Nair or something yet.

“Fine.” Just one hour, and then a quiet Christmas. What could possibly go wrong?

{o0o}

Dean had busted out his favourite leather jacket, and (at Charlie’s desperate begging) was even wearing just a bit of eyeliner. He was determined to not let his failed date ruin his favourite thing about Christmas, and he would be damned if he spent another minute thinking about Cas.

(So, maybe he had brought the forgotten coat along with him, but that was just so he could give it to Ellen in case Cas came in the Roadhouse again! She was much more likely to see the dude again than him, anyways. It wasn’t Dean’s fault that - because of Charlie’s enthusiasm  to get inside - he had left the thing in the Impala's trunk.)

For the first hour, his plan entirely succeeded. He was distracted by the gift exchanging and the procuring of food and catching up with old friends and avoiding people he didn’t like (namely that one girl who delivered food for Ellen sometimes who he could swear was a demon). It was only after the hour mark when he swore he saw a familiar mop of dark hair, but he immediately dismissed the thought. No way.

He went into the kitchen and chatted to Benny for a while, enjoying catching up on his old friend’s life. Perhaps he got a bit distracted when he heard a familiar gruff voice in the hallway, but other than that, he was sure that his mind was playing tricks on him. Besides, Jo was always up to something. Just because she had a glint in her eye when she came into the kitchen, it didn’t mean anything special. Probably just that some poor fool had a whoopee cushion on their chair somewhere.

It was about halfway through the party when Dean’s plan really started to fail. The music suddenly seemed too loud and the once friendly crowd suddenly made him feel claustrophobic. The smell of burgers and chocolate - no matter how delicious Dean knew they were - was making his stomach roll. The best course of action, he decided, was to step outside for a few minutes, to get some fresh air.

He didn’t expect to find Castiel already out there.

{o0o}

Meg - being Meg - had absolutely insisted, upon their arrival at the Roadhouse, that she didn’t know that it was the location of Castiel’s failed date. Apparently she had been invited (with a plus one) because she occasionally delivered food for them or something, but Castiel smelt a lie in there somewhere.

It would be fine. One hour, free punch and food, and he could go home. He could avoid Dean for one hour. He might not even be there.

An hour in, and Castiel was sure he wasn’t there, in fact. He politely greeted Ellen (who glared daggers at him, which he felt he deserved) and Charlie (who apparently knew Meg). He had a conversation with Jo outside the kitchen (which mostly consisted of him asking where the toilets were and Jo asking if he had called Dean). In fact, he was actually having a fairly pleasant time when he realised that they probably wouldn’t make it home in time to relieve Claire of her babysitting duties, so he quickly rushed outside to call her, but she didn’t pick up.

God only knew where Meg was, but she was - as she put it - a ‘big girl who could handle herself’, so Castiel didn’t bother waiting up. He simply called a taxi, hoping it would get there before he froze to death. He still hadn’t managed to find his favourite coat, and he had deeply mourned his loss.

He was so caught up in hopping from foot to foot and thinking about how much of a tip he was going to give Claire that he nearly didn’t hear the voice coming from the doorway.

“Cas?” Dean Winchester asked.

Fuck, he thought, slowly turning around to be met with the sight of the gorgeous man with a handsome jacket and eyes like a forest. Oh, he was so fucked.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas replied instead, not sure what else to say.

The younger man walked up to him tentatively, as if any quick movement he made might scare Cas off. “Uh… what are you doing here?”

“Meg convinced me to come,” Cas answered, his eyes never quite meeting Dean’s.

“Meg? She- Is she your girlfriend?” Dean looked hurt, but Cas couldn’t help but laugh.

“God, no. She’s my neighbour,” he chuckled.

“Oh, sorry,” Dean mumbled.

It was a lot quieter outside, but even with the background noise - wispy notes of music and the occasional growl of a car’s engine in the distance - their silence seemed deafening. Neither of them was quite sure what to say, and even though Cas knew that it was him who owed Dean the explanation, he did not have the energy to explain himself. In all the twenty two years in which he had understood his sexuality, he had never once been able to describe his experience succinctly, or even in a way that wasn’t babbling nonsense.

Of course the taxi was taking its sweet time to show up.

“I’m sorry,” Cas blurted out, at the same time Dean stammered, “why did you leave?”

They are silent for another moment. “It’s hard to explain,” Cas hesitated.

“Well, I’d kinda like to know,” Dean snapped, wincing as the words came out of his mouth. “Sorry, ignore me. I’m being a dick. You don’t have to explain if you don’t want-”

“I’m asexual,” Cas declared abruptly, cutting Dean off.

Dean opened and closed his mouth for a few seconds, trying to process this. Cas knew, he just knew from the look on his face that this conversation was going to be as horrific as it is every. Single. Time.

“I’ve not heard of that before,” Dean eventually stated.

Cas sighed. He liked Dean, he genuinely did, but it was usually The Talk that scared people off. “I’m not sexually attracted to anyone.”

“Oh,” Dean mumbles, sounding disappointed. “So, the other night…?”

“Romantic and sexual attraction are two different things. I enjoyed our date, but I… panicked, at the end. People tend to, uh… expect things, and I didn’t want to lead you on. Sorry, again. I should have handled it better.”

“S’okay. So you don’t have sex at all?” Dean asked, deadpan. Suddenly, he realised what he said, and he clapped his hands over his mouth. “I am so sorry. That is such a weird question. Don’t answer that.”

Cas huffed out a laugh, watching his breath disappear into the night. Looking up, he watched as the stars winked at him against the inky backdrop, and he took a deep breath. “Would you like to go on another date?”

Cas finally allowed himself to look at Dean, and he was greeted with a warm, sincere smile. “I would love that.”

The moment was broken when Cas’ phone rang, and he fumbled to pick it up with his frozen fingers. “Claire! Sorry I’m late, I’m on my- what’s wrong? Claire, slow down. The hospital? Shit, I’m on my way.”

Cas glanced up at Dean, barely registering his concern, only managing to choke out, “Jack is in the hospital.”

{o0o}

Dean didn’t even hesitate. There was no way in Hell he was gonna let Cas wait for a cab when his son was hurt, and he was bundling the distressed man towards his car before he could even protest. “Which hospital?”

Cas stood by the passenger door completely rigid, his brows furrowed in confusion. “Dean, what are you doing?”

Dean looked at him incredulously, one eyebrow raised. “Giving you a lift, dumbass. Baby is way faster than any taxi.”

“Baby?” Cas asked, but he got in the car anyway.

Luckily, the Roadhouse was only a twenty minute drive away (if you went by the speed limit, and Dean most certainly did not) but even that seemed like an age when he was trying to simultaneously not crash the car and comfort the man in the passenger seat. Dean didn’t have any kids of his own, but he could imagine that this was the worst possible thing that could happen to Cas; to have your own child in danger and not being able to be with them must be torture.

Cas was opening the car door before they had even come to a full stop, and by the time Dean had parked, he was already inside. By the time Dean caught up, he was already deep in conversation with Jody’s daughter, who was distraught. It was almost scary; Dean remembered her as the girl who had thrown a full grown man out of a second story window because he groped her, and every interaction he had ever had with her had made her seem like a badass.

“What’s going on?” he asked, gently shepherding them towards a seat in the waiting room. 

Cas wasn’t listening. He had already stormed off and was in a heated discussion with the receptionist, who kept shaking her head more and more forcefully. 

“A dog attacked him,” Claire hiccuped. “Just came out of nowhere and started tearing at him.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Dean assured her, bringing in a hug. He didn’t even care that she was probably getting snot all over his favourite jacket.

Cas stormed back over, looking like he was ready to level a city. “They won’t let me see him until they’ve operated.”

“Shit,” Dean replied, a plan forming. “Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do. Claire, you go outside and call Jody and ask her to pick you up, ‘kay? I’m gonna call someone at the Roadhouse to bring some supplies so we can camp here overnight if we need to… Cas, do you have a spare key or something? I can get someone to pick up some stuff from your house that you might need?”

“Meg has a key,” he sniffled.

Fifteen minutes later, everything is as sorted out as it can be. Bobby - the only person left who is safe to drive -  was giving Meg a lift to Cas’ place to pick up their things and to bring some food, and Jody was there to pick up Claire. 

“It’s not your fault, kiddo. Go home and get some rest, we’ll keep you updated,” Dean reassured her.

An hour later, the doctors agreed to let Cas in to see Jack, assuring them that he will be absolutely fine. When Cas finally untangled himself from Dean’s side, he seemed reluctant to leave him, but Dean just smiled gently at him and squeezed his hand. “I’ll wait right here,”

In the end, Jack gets discharged the very same night, coincidentally right as Bobby and apparently an entire ensemble from the Roadhouse show up. Jo is there with enough leftovers to feed an army, and Charlie and Meg had enough blankets and bags of clothes with them that Dean winced when he spared a thought for the state Cas’ house was going to be in. 

It was a little awkward when Cas walked out of the hospital with a sleeping Jack in his arms, bundled in one of the many blankets, but Bobby just huffed and offered to give them a lift back home. Charlie clambered into the Impala without a second word - it would not be the first time she had slept over at Dean’s while drunk - leaving Dean to say goodbye.

“Night, Cas. And Merry Christmas,” he said, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly.

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas replied, and they both knew he wasn’t talking about the holiday wishes.

{o0o}

The next time they actually managed to see each other was New Year’s Eve. Dean had shown up on Cas’ doorstep with chocolate, an armful of fireworks, and his usual lopsided smile. Obviously, he was not going to be refused.

They set the fireworks off as soon as it went dark, Cas holding Jack a safe distance away while Dean lit them, his silhouette dancing in the darkness of the garden. The bangs elicited excited squeaks from Jack, his eyes open wide in awe. He had never seen fireworks up close before.

After Jack had been tucked into sleep, Cas returned downstairs to find Dean lounging on the porch, two glasses of champagne poured. They sat outside for hours, watching the explosions of colour mix with the stars until it was impossible to tell them apart. 

Cas couldn’t help but think that Dean was beautiful in this light; mellow and golden, his eyes sparkling underneath a halo of sparks.

Before long, it was a minute to midnight. “I… can I kiss you again?” Dean mumbled, his eyes flicking over to Cas nervously.

He smiled reassuringly. “I think I would like that.”

“Oh, uh, awesome.” It was hard to tell, but he was sure that Dean was blushing furiously. “I just wasn’t sure if you were, like, aromantic or something.”

Cas’ eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You know what that is?”

“I googled it all after you told me. Figured I should probably learn all the terms, y’know?”

All of a sudden, Castiel realised that he might be falling in love. No one had ever bothered doing anything like that for him before.

A chant started up in the distance, a thousand voices all counting down at the same time.

Ten

Nine

Eight

Dean gently cupped the back of Cas’ neck, pulling him closer until he could feel the warmth of his face.

Seven

Six

Five

Cas smiled up at him, lost in the forests that he called eyes.

Four

Three

Two

“Happy New Year, Cas,” Dean whispered, and their lips collided, better than any firework.

#i hope you enjoy #destiel #my writing #fanfic #destiel secret santa #christmas

[fruiitycas]

Hello, I would love to know about the dtscu; can you please enlighten me? ❤️️

oh of course i love spreading the good word of our lord taylor swift. the dtscu refers to the “destiel taylor swift cinematic universe” and is a collection of songs that ms swift has written that I think directly apply to destiel (its okay ms swift i saw your lyrics you can come out as a destiel shipper). i also tag destiel edits that use taylor swift songs/lyrics to make a whole collection of works that ppl have made that combine t swift w destiel. 

this is the link to the playlist with all the destiel songs in my dtscu. (more details under the cut)

some notable additions to the playlist: 

dont blame me (Echoes, love your name inside my mind / Halo, hiding my obsession //  baby, for you, I would fall from grace / Just to touch your face //  Don't blame me, love made me crazy / If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right / Lord, save me, my drug is my baby / I’d be usin' for the rest of my life)

peace (And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences / Sit with you in the trenches / Give you my wild, give you a child / Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other / Family that I chose now that I see your brother as my brother / Is it enough? / ‘Cause there's robbers to the east, clowns to the west / I’d give you my sunshine, give you my best / But the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me / But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm / If your cascade ocean wave blues come / All these people think love's for show / But I would die for you in secret / The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me / Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?)

false god (Remember how I said I'd die for you? // They say the road gets hard and you get lost when you're led by blind faith //  But we might just get away with it / Religion's in your lips / Even if it's a false god / We'd still worship / We might just get away with it / The altar is my hips / Even if it's a false god / We'd still worship this love)

sparks fly

safe and sound

ivy (How's one to know? / I’d meet you where the spirit meets the bones In a faith forgotten land / In from the snow / Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow Tarnished but so grand // Oh, goddamn / My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand / Taking mine, but it's been promised to another / Oh, I can't / Stop you putting roots in my dreamland / My house of stone, your ivy grows / And now I'm covered in you // How's one to know? / I’d live and die for moments that we stole / On begged and borrowed time //  it's a war / It's the goddamn fight of my life / And you started it / You started it)

this love (In silent screams / In wildest dreams / I never dreamed of this // This love is good / This love is bad / This love is alive back from the dead / These hands had to let it go free, and This love came back to me / This love left a permanent mark / This love is glowing in the dark / These hands had to let it go free, and This love came back to me)

cowboy like me (You're a bandit like me / Eyes full of stars / Hustling for the good life / Never thought I'd meet you here / It could be love / We could be the way forward / And I know I'll pay for it / And the skeletons in both our closets / Plotted hard to mess this up // Now you hang from my lips Like the Gardens of Babylon / With your boots beneath my bed / Forever is the sweetest con / I’ve had some tricks up my sleeve / Takes one to know one / You're a cowboy like me / And I'm never gonna love again / I’m never gonna love again)

there are also notable subsections: 

The Divorce Arc:

i wish you would (I wish you would come back / Wish I'd never hung up the phone like I did / I wish you knew that / I’d never forget you as long as I'd live / And I wish you were right here, right now It's all good / I wish you would / I wish we could go back / And remember what we were fighting for / Wish you knew that / I miss you too much to be mad anymore)

my tears ricochet (I didn't have it in myself to go with grace / ‘Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave / And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? / Cursing my name, wishing I stayed / Look at how my tears ricochet / And I can go anywhere I want / Anywhere I want, just not home / And you can aim for my heart, go for blood / But you would still miss me in your bones / And I still talk to you when I'm screaming at the sky)

i almost do (And I just wanna tell you / It takes everything in me, not to call you / And I wish I could run to you / And I hope / you know that every time I don't / I almost do)

all you had to do was stay

death by a thousand cuts

story of us (This is looking like a contest / Of who can act like they care less / But I liked it better when you were on my side // Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room / And we're not speaking / And I'm dying to know / Is it killing you like it's killing me? // And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now)

the other side of the door (tell me why you couldn't see That when I left I wanted you to chase after me? / I said leave but all I really want is you / To stand outside my window, throwing pebbles, screaming I'm in love with you / Wait there in the pourin' rain, come back for more / And don't you leave 'cause I know all I need is on The other side of the door)

come back…be here (this is when the feeling sinks in, I dont wanna miss you like this / Come back… be here)

The Widower arc/ Post 15x18:

haunted ( I know, I just know You're not gone, you can't be gone, no // Come on, come on, don't leave me like this / I thought I had you figured out / Can't breathe whenever you're gone / Can't go back, I'm haunted / You and I walk a fragile line / I have known it all this time)

marjorie (What died didn't stay dead / You're alive, you're alive in my head / What died didn't stay dead //  You're alive, so alive //  If I didn't know better / I’d think you were still around / I know better / But I still feel you all around / I know better / But you're still around)

Cas to Dean:

tied together with a smile (no one knows / That you cry; but you don't tell anyone / That you might not be the golden one / And you're tied together with a smile / But you're coming undone // I guess it's true that love was all you wanted / ‘Cause you're givin' it away like it's extra change / Hoping it will end up in his pocket)

innocent (Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything / And everybody believed in you? / It's alright, just wait and see / Your string of lights is still bright to me / Oh, who you are is not where you've been / You're still an innocent //  Did some things you can't speak of / But at night you live it all again)

enchanted (This is me praying that this was the very first page / Not where the story line ends / My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again / These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon/ I was enchanted to meet you)

everything has changed (all ive seen since 18 hrs ago is green eyes and freckles and your smile in the back of my mind making me feel like i just wanna know you better now)

mirrorball(Hush / I know they said the end is near / But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes / Spinning in my highest heels, love / Shining just for you //  I'm still a believer but I don't know why / I've never been a natural / All I do is try, try, try / I’m still on that trapeze / I’m still trying everything / To keep you looking at me )

Dean to Cas:

untouchable (I know you're saying / That you'd be here  / But you're Untouchable / burning Brighter than the sun / Now that you're close / I feel like coming undone)

mine (You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded / You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes // Do you remember, we were sittin' there, by the water? / You put your arm around me, for the first time / You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter / You are the best thing, that's ever been mine )

state of grace (So you were never a saint / And I've loved in shades of wrong / We learn to live with the pain / Mosaic broken hearts / But this love is brave and wild / And I never saw you coming / And I'll never be the same)

this is me trying (This is very specifically The Trap!Dean) (Pulled the car off the road to the lookout / Could've followed my fears all the way down / And maybe I don't quite know what to say / But I'm here in your doorway / I just wanted you to know / That this is me trying / I just wanted you to know / That this is me trying / They told me all of my cages were mental / So I got wasted like all my potential / And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad / I have a lot of regrets about that)

the archer (Combat, I'm ready for combat / I say I don't want that, but what if I do? / ‘Cause cruelty wins in the movies / I’ve got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you  // And all of my heroes die all alone / Help me hold onto you / I've been the archer / I’ve been the prey / Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling? / But who could stay? // Who could stay? / You could stay)

#ask #theirprofoundbond #dtscu #destiel

[supernatural-reacts]

Season 13 episode 1

- hi Jack!

- DEAN JUST STARING AT CAS ON THE GROUND FOR WHAT

- Dean. Why did you shoot the all powerful child.

OH I LIKE THIS ^^

- Dean dreaming about Mary ;-;

- Jack please don’t go into that store without any clothes on

- oh hey it’s the guy who plays Joaquin on Riverdale!

- “Crowley’s dead, Kelly’s dead, Cas is..... Mom’s gone” HE CANT EVEN SAY IT IM

- “almost killed us!” “Yeah because you tried to shoot him.” GOOD POINT SAM

- “what about Cas? Is he... is he really dead?” “You know he is.” AAAAA

- why does Jack look so evil

- “he deserved better.” “He really didn’t” extremely fuck you. Very how dare you

- Jack is so baby!

- so is he looking for Lucifer or is he looking for Cas

- “I remember when the bad woman burned.” JACK YOU CANT JUST 😭

- “what are you on?” “I’m on a chair. On the floor. On planet earth.” I love him!

- “and lit most of her stuff on fire. I got issues!” THIS GIRL IS SO FUNNY

BABY!

- oh no he hurt the sheriff lady

- “will you tell them that I’m sorry?” BABYYYY 🥺

- “my father is Castiel” yeAHHHH

- HE CHOSE CAS TO BE HIS DAD AND CAS IS DEAD IM CRYINGGG

- Sam is being so nice I love him

- Dean I love you but shut up

- oh no the girl is evil

- SAM TRYING TO PROTECT JACK IS ACTUALLY SOMETHING THAT CAN BE SO PERSONAL

- HE SAVED HIM OMG

- “he can do almost anything.” “Anything?” “Aw sweet. Almost anything. Castiel? He’s dead. All the way dead. Because of you.” THIS RANDOM ANGEL KNEW EXACTLY WHAT DEAN WAS THINKING BC ITS ABOUT CAS

- OH NO SHE STABBED JACK

- oh he’s fine cool

- “God did. maybe if we prayed to him-” “you don’t think I’ve tried that?” I’m going insane! Prayer is a sign of faith but Dean obviously doesn’t have faith in Chuck bc this is about his faith in Cas!

- “we’ve lost everything and now you’re going to bring him back.” OWWWW

- that prayer hurt me I’m crying

- DEAN RIPPING THE CURTAINS DOWN TO WRAP CAS’S BODY IM LOSING MY MIND HELLO WIDOWER ARC

- “you say goodbye.” Cas and Sam are best friends and that’s hard to remember sometimes but when it hits oh god

- hi Mary!

- oh no it’s Lucifer

#dean winchester #supernatural #dean and sam #sam winchester #spn #supernatural thoughts #sam and dean #spn thoughts #castiel #destiel #deancas #jack kline #spn season 13 #supernatural season 13

[wayward-mikaelson]

"This just gives me the creeps," I say setting down a ceramic figurine. It looked like it was a combination of a clown, a fairy, and an angel. It was super creepy. I go back to walking the house the boys and I were scoping out. "You guys got anything?" I ask getting back into the living room.

"Nothing but some creepy ass ceramic figurines," Deans yells from another part of the house. "Are we even sure this is a spirit?"

Sams voice came from the garage. "It's a spirit alright." I turned to see Sam holding something that had disgusting black ooze on it. "Ectoplasm."

I make a face. "Awe shit," I say. "I hate really pissed off spirits." I holster my gun and sit down on the wooden rocking chair. "What spirit would be so pissed off to attack a nice little old lady?" I ask.

"Any spirit," Dean says coming into the living room. "Most likely they knew each other at one point if the spirit is that pissed off." Dean holsters his gun and looks at me with a small smile. I can feel every hair on my neck stand up. Dean knew what he was doing to me and he loved to do it.

I realize that I was holding my breath and quickly stood up to only loose my balance and fall right in the direction of Dean Winchester. Dean caught me with that same smiled. "Thanks," I say pushing away from him. I turned to towards the door and saw Sams face. He knew I liked his brother and he knew that Dean liked to tease me. "Shut up." I say making my way to the door. "Lets just go back to the motel and get some research done. The faster we get this done the quicker we can go back home." 

The boys agreed and followed me out to the impala. The drive back to the motel wasn't that long but Dean wanted to stop for food. Very typical of him. Dean could eat a whole cow and later want to another whole cow. When we arrived back at the motel, we all set to work on research on deaths in the city, county, and in that neighborhood. We also looked into the history of the house. Nothing. That was until I came across something that was fishy. 

"Guys," I pick up my laptop and shoved in front of the boys. "Did you guys know that she was widowed about forty years ago. Her husband was killed when someone broke into their home. The case went cold. It says here that she didn't seem to shaken up about his death as she had claimed multiple times that he was abusing her. But no proof that he was. Even family and an exgirlfriend said that he would never do such a thing. Four months later she remarried his best friend. He died a few months ago of a heart attack which she was broken up over." 

Dean and Sam look it over. "Does seem fishy," Sam says. "Maybe the dead husband is stuck to the woman and his punishing her." Dean shook his head as he silenced his phone for the millionth time. 

"Or maybe the wife had an affair with the best friend and because during that time period divorce or leaving a spouse was frowned upon, she took it out on him and had the best friend kill him." Deans phone rang again and he silenced it again. Sam was thinking about the other possibility that the wife and best friend killed the possible ghost.

"Who the heck is calling you over and over again?" I ask. 

"I don't know. The number looks familiar but it can wait until the case is over." Dean says getting up and getting a drink. "We go the house tonight and wait for the ghost to show up and talk with him. See where he's buried and salt and burn him." Deans phone rang again. I grabbed the phone before Dean could silence it again.

"Hello?" I answer the phone. "Dean Winchesters phone. Who am I speaking to?" Before I could get a name Dean took the phone from me. 

"I'm sorry about that," Dean says. I could help but hear a female voice on the other end. Deans face turned white and he fell back into his seat. "Lisa?"

"Who's Lisa?" I ask turning to Sam whose face had surprise written all over it.

"An old flame," Sam says making eye contact with me. "We had Cas erase hers and her sons memories of Dean after a a demon kidnapped them and it went south. Lisa almost died."

I looked back at dean who had made his way out of the motel room. I followed him. "Lisa, calm down," Dean says. "I did what I did to protect you and Ben. It killed me to do that." Dean was quite for a bit then he spoke. "Okay, where do you want to meet? I can be there tomorrow. Then you can tell me how you remember." Dean turns around and sees me standing there. His face looked so pained. Like he was reliving the past. "Okay, wow thats close. I'll be there." he says and hangs up the phone. 

"Are you okay?" I ask as Dean walks passed me. 

"I'll be fine. I just need to meet Lisa. She why she remembers everything." Dean walks into the motel and I follow him in. We see Sam packing a bag.

"I found her dead husband, The one that was murdered." Sam puts a few rounds of rock salt into the bag. 

"Okay well, I'm going to meet Lisa in Saint Louis. Its a few hours from here." Dean began to throw together a bag. "If anything happens call me and I will be there."

I grabbed a bag too and began to fill it. "I'm going with you. Just to make sure you dont do anything stupid." Both the boys stopped and looked at me. "You wont be able to talk me out of it."

Dean closed his eyes and sighed. He knew that I was right and the look on his face looked like relief? Maybe? Who knew. I needed to know if this Lisa person was actually human or something that needs to die. I looked to Sam who saw my face and nodded. He understood why I was going.

"You guys go," Sam says slinging the bag over his shoulder. "I'll get a rental. If I need you guys, I'll call you." As sam walks passed you he leans in to whisper, "Make sure you bring him back. Do whatever you need to." 

*******************************************

The drive to Saint Louis was super quiet. Dean of course has his music on but it was tense in the car. Dean still looked pained over all of it. I asked him he wanted to talk about it but he said no. So we just sat and drove. For four hours. Only stopping for food and the bathroom. I texted Sam a couple of times to tell him that Dean wasn't talking and asked about his time with Lisa. Sam just told me that Dean had spent over a year with them and that erasing their memories tore him apart. He never really spoke about it. I look at Dean and begin to feel super sorry for him.

"I know youre talking about me to Sam," Dean says pulling into a restaurant. A fancy one. This Lisa person was really trying to get him back, I thought. Even Deans face knew he would be out of place here.

"It's not too late to run," I lean over to Dean. 

With that, Dean and I got out and walked into the restaurant. Even the severs dressed super nice. "Not to late," I whisper. Dean fakes laughs but I could tell that he was nervous and wasn't entirely sure about all of this.

"Dean?" a voice from behind makes the both of us turn around. 

There stood a beautiful woman. Long brown hair and dark eyes. How did Dean ever land a woman like that? I ask myself. I could not compare to that beauty that was radiating off her. I look at Dean who was just staring at her. Lisa notices me and instantly I see something change in her eyes. Was it jealously? 

"Lisa," Dean eventually chokes out. "You look amazing."

Lisa smiles a smile so big that I see one reason why Dean loved her. "Thank you, who's your friend?" She asks gesturing to me. I notice her manicured nails and look at my bitten and brittle nails. Still can't compete with her.

Dean is shocked back into reality. He turns to me and touches my shoulder. I look at him and see that he is looking me up and down with a smile on his face. I instantly blush and look at Lisa who clearly seeing the whole thing. Her eyes hardened. "This is YN," Dean says noticing Lisa's face. He slowly drop his hands.

"It's nice to meet you," Lisa says. "Will you be joining us?" She then asks. The tone is hardened too. I could tell that Dean heard it too. 

"Well, sort of," I say smiling. "I'll be at the bar." I begin to slip away when Deans hand grabs my arm. 

"Nope, you are sitting with us," Dean begins to pull me towards the waitress who had been waiting to sit us. In a low voice Dean whispered in my ear, "I need you by me for support." 

Once we were seated and menus handed out. Dean, who is sitting next you, looks over the menu and then leans forward. "So," he  says licking his lips. I notice Dean has a hard time looking at her in the eyes. "How's you get your memories back?" Whoa! To the point. Maybe Dean wouldn't go back to Lisa and her kid. 

"Can't we order and eat and catch up first?" Lisa asks laughing nervously. "I mean, we have so much to talk about."

I look at Dean who is staring at the table. "Lis," he says. "There really isn't nothing to catch up on. I had yours and Bens memories of me and the life I live taken away from you. To protect you after you almost got killed. To protect Ben from ever having to go into this life. Just tell me how you got your memories back."

Lisa sits back and waves the waiter on the moment he arrives at the table. I make a small face because one, I need a strong drink for this and two, I was hungry and wanted a fat and juicy steak. "I guess you haven't changed much," she says. I rose an eyebrow and stare at Lisa. 

"Whoa there," I say putting my hand on the table. "You don't know Dean at all. At least not anymore, so don't make comments like that because that makes you look like a bitch." Lisas eyes widened and I notice from the corner of my eyes Dean is looking at me. He doesn't cut in because he knows that once I start speaking like this, I won't stop until the thought is done. "I have been with the boys for two years. Deans past kills him. He has nightmare after nightmare some nights. He may be a dick at times but he has changed. So excuse him for wanting to know how you got your pathetic memories back. Now if excuse me, I need to splash my face with water or this water will end up in yours." I get up and let Dean know what to order me when the waiter got back. 

Once I was in the bathroom I pull out my phone and call Sam. As the phone rings I sit on floor of the bathroom stall. I have no idea where all that came from. What Lisa said to Dean, set off a spark in me. I didn't appreciate how she spoke to him. 

"Hey," Sam answered. "Hows it going with Lisa?" He asks.

"Lisa is a bitch," I say. "But thats not what I called you about. Hows the hunt? Did you finish it?" I needed a distraction for a bit or I was going to go out and say more things that I might regret.

"Yeah," Sam says. "I was able to talk to the murdered husband and he said that it was the best friend who killed him. While I was talking to him, I got a phone call saying that the wife died of a heart attack. The spirit was then salted and burned." 

"Thats great," I say picking at a loose strand from my shirt. "I'm glad it went well and that the spirit was willing to listen."

"Now tell me why Lisa is a bitch," Sam wasn't going to let me off that easy.

"Let's just say, she looks at me like I'm a threat and tells Dean that he never changed." I rip the strand off and let it fall to the floor.

"Ah," Sam says. 

"Yeah, anyway, I need to go before Deans thinks I ditched him." I hang up the phone and splash my face with water. I walk back to the table to see Dean getting up. 

"We should get going," Dean says pulling out his wallet. 

"Dean," Lisa stands up and blocks me from walking by. "It's never too late. We can still have what we had. I can live that life. Ben can have a father figure in his life." 

Dean looks up and makes eye contact with me. I can tell that he already made his decision. "Lis," he says. "You can't. It almost killed you last time. Now stay here, buy whatever food you want and enjoy a nice dinner on me." Dean threw two 50s on the table. "Let's go," he says to me. 

I squeeze passed Lisa and get a good look at her face. She is watching Dean as he walks away. She catches me watching and she looks away. I see a small tear fall down her face. What the hell happened while I was gone? 

Back on the road, I waited an hour to talk to Dean. "What happened back there?" I ask. "Did you get the answers you wanted?"

Deans hands tightens on the wheel and pulls off to the side of road and put the impala in park. "Yeah." he stares ahead of him. "She started having these dreams about me. Went to an actual psychic who pulled her memories back. But not Bens. She said she wouldn't do that unless I got back with her." Dean looks at me and I watch as he grabs my hand in his. "I told her it was impossible. I told her I didn't feel that way about her anymore and had feelings for some else."

I felt my heart skip a beat. I knew he was talking about me. I used my free hand to grab his shirt collar and pull him to my lips. 

#fanfic #sam and dean #sam winchester #supernatural #dean winchester #jensen ackles #misha collins #sam and reader #spnfandom #spnimagine #jensen and danneel #jensen x you #jared padamoose #jared paladecki #misha on twitter #mishaedit #misha tweets #misha is an angel #misha misha misha #jared and misha #fan fiction #fan fic update #fan fic ideas #fandom #supernatural fanfiction

[leahxx129]

Make It Right (John Winchester x Reader)

I’ll upload the next chapter of The Last Descendant Series soon, but until then here’s a short one-shot with John. I don’t see that many fics dedicated to him, so I decided to put a little John-loving out there. I hope you like it! :)

Summary: John Winchester saved your life once and when he shows up at your doorstep with his sons, asking you to look after them, you do it without hesitation. But his one-time-only inquiry turns into a two-times deal and slowly evolves into a habit. Can you play along even after he breaks your heart?

Warnings: a little angst

Word count: 1.030-ish

It’s past 11 p.m. The loud knock on your door almost makes you spill the glass of wine you’re holding. You lower the TV’s volume to ensure you’re not hallucinating. A couple of seconds later there’s another heavy knock, confirming your sanity. You silently sneak to the door and take the baseball bat you keep by its side. Even though your porch is dimly lit, you instantly recognize the person on the other side of the peep hole – and you are not sure whether you want to put down the bat or not, in spite of the familiarity.  Eventually, you decide on returning it to its place and opening the door.

„Hello, John.” you greet him dryly.

„Hey, darlin’... uhm... I was just in the neighborhood and-„

„Cut the crap, please.” you interject „Just out of curiosity, which part of ‘I don’t want to see you ever again’ did you have trouble comprehending?”

Long minutes pass by without a word being uttered and you can almost hear the cogs working in his brain as he’s thinking of a way to win you over one last time.

„Look, you have every right to hate me, I totally get it...” he starts „… but I got this very important lead on Yellow Eyes in Missouri. I’ve already asked around to see if there’s anyone else who can watch the boys while I’m gone investigating it, but nobody’s available.”

„Tough luck.”

„Please, darlin’. One last time?”

Before you can tell him to stick it where the sun don’t shine, the Impala’s doors open up and Sam and Dean run to you cheering your name.

„Boys, I told you to stay in the car until I say otherwise!” he scolds the four- and the eight-year-old.

You glower at him.

„Don’t sweat it, Winchester. I know exactly that’s not what you told them to do.”

„See dad? I told you she’d figure out. She ain’t stupid.” Dean comments, earning a disapproving look from his father.

A giggle escapes your mouth and you ruffle his hair, then descend on one knee to be at the children’s eye-level.

„Hey there, little titans! My God, you’ve grown a lot since the last time I saw you... Anyways... get inside, I’ll be with you in a minute.” you motion past your shoulder with your head.

They both hug you around the neck, then enter the house. Sam immediately starts jumping on the couch while Dean opens your fridge.

„Sam be careful! And Dean, hey, wash your hands first and then you’re free to eat whatever you’d like!” you yell in an affectionate mom-tone.

„Even apple pie?”

„Even apple pie but strictly after dinner as a dessert.”

„Awesome!”

You can’t help but smile. A part of you missed this, more precisely missed them, and felt guilty for punishing the children for their father’s mistake.

„They love you.” John states as he tries to take your hand, but you pull away, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

„Yeah, I know they do.”

You don’t intend to sound petty but it’s easier said than done.

„Y/N...”

„Just leave, John. I don’t have the time nor the energy for this. I got two kids in my house I need to take care of.”

He takes out a bundle of cash from the inside pocket of his leather jacket and offers it to you.

„Here, take this. It should be more than enough for the time I’m gone, which is gonna be like a week. Two at max.”

“So, you started taking me for a nanny?” you can’t keep your voice from trembling.

“God, no, Y/N...”

But you evade his excuses by taking a step back and closing the door with a thud. The lock makes a blunt sound as you turn the key.

John is unsure if he saw tears in your eyes or it was just your crappy porch lamp playing tricks on him. He’d like to believe it’s the second no matter how unlikely it is. He stands there for some time longer then heads back to the Impala. His hand is on the ignition but before reviving the engine, he sneaks a glance at your house. Through the window he can see you lift Sam up, who’s clinging to you lovingly, and you both laugh throwing your heads back. He hasn’t seen any of his sons laugh like that when they’re with him, not in a long time at least. He thinks back to the beginnings.

John met you a year and a half prior. You’d been a widow for six months by then and decided to sell the house in hopes of a fresh start. When people asked why, you would tell them because the property just stirred up too many memories. In reality, you feared for your life as a series of unimaginable events unfolded in the place day after the other. It was as if the house – or something in it - wished you dead. And it came real close to getting what it wanted but John showed up out of the blue and saved you. Turned out that your husband’s ghost was particularly attached to the house, so he didn’t move on, and your intentions of selling it pissed him off big time. But the Knight in Shining Impala – as you would refer to John - took care of everything. You didn’t hear from him for weeks up until he suddenly showed up at your doorstep with two young children at an ungodly time. It took half a bottle of your finest whisky but he opened up about his past and from then on, he would drop Sam and Dean off at your place whenever he had a hunt he couldn’t bring them to. You fell into this uncanny rhythm and it wasn’t long before he fell into your bed. He was terrified when he realized his heart wasn’t capable of returning the profound love you showered him with. He may not be a great father, or a great man in general, but he has principles, so he told you how he felt. He couldn’t tell who was more broken afterwards – you, because of his words, or him, because he hurt the one person he never intended to. But he made a promise to himself that day...

„After I’m done with Yellow Eyes, I’ll make it right, I swear.” he whispers, shaking off the memories and getting back to present time.

He tears his gaze from you and his sons and starts the car.

#john winchester #SPN #spnfic #supernatural #john winchester x reader #fanfic #john #winchester #jdmorgan

[the-daily-multi-fandom-post]

supernatural/avengers:

part 1 here 

Supernatural/avengers: part 2 

Imagine Sam and Dean being like brothers to you and you always go on cases with them. But in one particular case in upstate New York, you run into someone from your past. You’re not quite sure if you want to leave this case. 

Small series -part 2 of ? 

“Okay so where is this demon at?” Y/n asked as she sat in the backseat of the Impala. “Well, we got a call from a man named: Bruce. He said that there was smell of sulfer in his home. He said he’s tried to figure out where the smell was coming from. but couldn't find it. So he called a friend who pointed him into our direction.” Dean explained looking at Y/n from the rear view mirror. 

Y/n went wide eyed as she looked at the oldest Winchester. “Bruce? As in Doctor Bruce Banner?!” She exclaimed as she looked between the two Winchester brothers. “What, do you know him?” Dean asked with a smug look on his face. “Somewhat. He was dating my sister.” Y/n said looking at dean while he went wide eyed. “So you know what this means. We’ll run into my sister.” She mumbled under her breath. “Hey, but at least we get to meet your family.” Sam said trying to look at the bright side of the problem. 

A couple hours passed and the avenger tower was in view. It was crazy to be back here. To be at a place she used to call home. A place where it was both peaceful and not peaceful. Where she had to fake her death and leave her family. 

“So how are we going about this?” Y/n asked Sam as they pulled on the side of the road. “Well, they know we’re hunters. They said that they had a demon problem. So I guess like a normal case besides the fact they know that we’re hunters.” Sam explained as he looked at Y/n. She nodded then they all got out of the Impala going into the avenger tower front lobby. 

Y/n looked around smiling to herself. Everything was the same. It even had the same smell of leather and the calming smell of mint lavender. They walked around the lobby and went to the front desk. A woman sat there giving them a small smile. “How can I help you?” she asked looking at Sam and Dean. Y/n avoided anyone gaze. She didn't want to be identified by anyone that might’ve known her before she ‘died’. 

“12th floor. I’ll let Mr. Banner and Mr. Stark know you all are on the way.” the woman said with a smile. They went into the elevator and pressed the 12th floor button. “It smells like rich people in here.” Dean said, making both Y/n and Sam snort out a laugh. 

“Well, Tony stark does own the building.” Sam replied as he looked at his older brother. Y/n was about to say something as the silver doors of the elevator opened. 

“Hello?” Dean called as they walked outside of the elevator. “Hey.” dean said as he saw Bruce banner come into the room. “Hello, welcome to the avengers tower.” He spoke softly. Y/n missed hearing the sound of her friends voice. She missed everything about her old life, well almost everything.

 “Hey, Y/n.” Bruce said with a soft smile. “Hey, Bruce.” She said with a warm smile looking him over. “You haven't changed.” He said looking over her. “Well, I have an advantage.” She said as she walked over to her friend giving him a friendly hug and a kiss on his cheek. “How are things?” She asked Bruce concerned. “Everything’ fine, except for a few things. The lights have been flickering. The smell of sulfur. I asked Thor if he had gotten into any sulfur again but he said no. Um, a bunch of things to be honest with you.” 

“Definitely something going on.” Sam said as pointed to the device Dean was holding that was going crazy. “Everyone has been worried about you. You never answered our calls. You just went off grid.” Y/n sighed with a nod. “I know, but everything with Hydra. I had to fake my death to make them stop following me. If they knew I was alive they would go out looking for me. They would kill people without even blinking an eye. I couldn’t put everyone through that.” Bruce nodded understanding what she was saying. 

“So what’s the plan?” Y/n asked Dean as she seen the lights flicker. “We call the demon. Find who ever its  possesses and exercise it.” Sam explained as he heard the elevator ding as it opened. “Y/n?” Y/n turned around looking at Steve rogers, Bucky Barnes, and Thor the god of thunder. She smiled as they walked over to her. Each of them giving her a tight hug. “I missed you guys. Ugh its been so long.” She said as Bucky held her in his arms a little while longer. “I’ve missed you doll. More then you know.” He said as he breathed her in. “We have all missed you lady Y/n.” Thor said as Bucky let go and he gave her a smile. 

She smiled as she looked at Thor. “Where is Jane?” She asked as Steve was about to shake his head ‘no’. “We broke up. Me and Lady jane.” There was a brief pause before Sam cleared his throat. 

“Right, guys this is my friends Sam and Dean Winchester. Sam, Dean this is Captain Steve  Rogers, Sargent James Barnes, You can call him Bucky. And Thor Odinson.” Y/n introduced everyone. “Nice to meet you both.” Thor Bellowed as he gave each of Winchester a friendly hug. “He does that.” Y/n laughed. She was overjoyed to see her friends that she called her family. 

“Where is everyone else?” Y/n asked looking at Steve as Dean and Sam stood beside her. “They are in the meeting room. We got out early thank God.” Steve explained. “what are you guys doing here though. I mean I’m glad your here don't get me wrong. But you faked your death saying you would never come back.” Bucky asked looking at  Y/n and the Winchesters.

 “Bruce called. He said you guys had a demon problem, and well, that's kinda our job.” Dean explained as he tried to sit up straighter. Bucky hid a laugh behind a cough and nodded. He looked at Y/n and then the two brothers. “Since when are you ghost busters?” Steve asked looking at Y/n. “Since when have you watched that movie, old man?” She asked picking at her friend. “I’ve been hunting since I ran into a case. I got in the middle of a case, so I just went along with it. I continued to hunt.” She explained, they all nodded when the lights flickered again. The air around them got freezing cold.

 “We should go find that demon, before  it causes trouble.” Sam said looking at his friend and then to the three superhero’s n front of him. “It was nice to meet you all.” They all gave them a smile. “Nice to meet both of you.” Steve said looking at Sam and Dean. “See you guys later.” Y/n said giving them a smile. 

They nodded watching as she left them. “I miss her.” Thor said looking at Steve and Bucky as they walked into the kitchen. “I know, I wonder what Nat and Clint’s gonna do when they find out she’s here.” Bucky said looking between Steve and Thor. “I mean she’s Natashas’ Sister; and Clint and her were friends almost like brother and sister.” Steve and Thor nodded as they sat on the couch in the room. “I hope that Nat doesn't freak out she’s here.” Thor and Bucky nodded agreeing to what Steve had said. That's when they heard a scream. “Y/n?” 

“Stupid demons. I hate the stupid punk ass demons.” She said as she picked herself up from the floor. The demon had just thrown her across the room. The demon was possessing a security guard, it decided it wanted revenge on the avengers for some reason. 

Y/n picked herself off of the ground grabbing her demon knife and walking around the place trying to find the demon. “You know when I found out that you were Natashas sister I have to say, I was shocked.” The demon spoke through the security guard. She looked at the demon and shook her head. “I was shocked, because I never knew that the black widow had a little sister. It was just all so shocking to me.” 

Y/n shook her head at the demon as she started the exorcism. “Exoricizamus te omnis Immundus spiritus, Omnis satanica Potestas, Omnis incursio Infernalis adversarii, Omnis congregatio et secta diabolica. Ergo, Draco maledicte. Ut ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos.” She did the exorcism, the demon smoked out of the security guard. The man fell to the ground as the demon went back to where it belonged. 

Y/n walked over to check on the man as everyone ran into the room. “The demons gone. The man should be okay. Give him some IVs he needs some fluids. And get me some whiskey.” She said as she looked at Dean and Sam who looked like proud older brothers. 

Part two done! 

Part three here. 

#Dean Winchester x reader #Sam Winchester x reader #Sam winchester #Dean winchester #castiel #castiel x reader #crowley #Crowley x reader #Lucifer x reader #lucifer #Steve rogers #Steve rogers x reader #Captain america #Captain America x reader #Bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #James Buchanan barnes x reader #Bucky barnes x reader #The winter solider x reader #x reader #reader insert #Tony stark #Tony stark x reader #iron man #Iron man x reader #Bruce banner #Bruce banner x reader #Hulk #hulk x reader #thor