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pretty-face-breaker · 3 years

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Maybe Not Now

During Pavel’s daily torment of him, Emir sees something in him that he hadn’t seen before.

c.w. military whump, sadistic whumper, forced exercise as punishment, insults, degrading language, captivity, alluding to death as an alternative to torture

—

“That’s all for now, soldaty. Back to your dorms and make it neat,” General Levkin called.

With a raise of his palm, collective relief could be heard above the fading grunts. Men rose from the field and dusted their palms on their trousers, snatching up their rifles. Twenty of them clicked sharply as they swung over various shoulders. Some grabbed a drink of water they had been meaning to get for hours as clouds swept over the barren training grounds.

The drills of the day were over.

As the soldiers filed after one another, murmuring too fast and foreign to be kept up with, Emir followed behind with a dry throat. His arms ached. He could hardly remember making that many mistakes in his basic training or what were supposedly called mistakes by Stanislav Levkin’s eye. He always seemed to catch him doing something wrong. Inaccurate aim. Sloppy position. Poor posture.

But he had taken the admonitions, the hits and laps, nodded obediently, straightened his back or concentrated harder on his aim. He didn’t feel like fighting the corrections in front of fifty others and with the amount of sleep hardly managed each night, he didn’t doubt some were his fault. That, and for other reasons. Emir winced as a now clear head focussed on the burning in his bicep.

The place Pavel had rubbed the salt earlier that week.

Maybe yes, sir-ing his way through the drills had been also to spare his throat from overexerting itself more than he had torn in, wailing wordlessly among laughter and pleading in broken Russian to a man who likely hadn’t heard the word in his life. Emir grimaced and, feeling a bump of a body behind him, sped up to climb the stairs. Until he felt a hand pulling him aside.

“Not so fast. Hey, you.” Pavel grinned as he pulled him from formation and back down the steps.

Emir froze and his hand shot to his collar, trying to keep his balance. “Podozhdite—” But Pavel wasn’t one to wait and pulled him fiercely until he tripped on the rocks, barely catching himself on the stone railing. Humiliated, he straightened up glaring. Pavel’s leer was ever present with that same colour of resentment, his eyes cold and devising.

The taller man chuckled. “Did you even complete your recruit training? With how today went, I thought Stas was going to pin you to that target.”

Emir swallowed, trying not to dignify that with a response.

Pavel’s face darkened in silence. “Follow me then get on the fucking ground. I’m not done with you.”

His heart slammed in his throat as he followed without a word, feeling his fingertips grow cold as the group’s noises faded. With each moment, he pushed his feet further to the edges of the terrain where voices ended and the forest began and each step felt harder to take, the closer those trees got. He sucked in a quiet breath when Pavel stopped.

“Drop. Feet together.”

Emir obeyed, falling tense to the pushup form, and dug his nails into the earth for a brief moment, just to feel the cool of the grass, to ground himself. Once, he let his lungs expand with a breath and plunged. Pavel didn’t have to say a word for him to begin and he figured he could save him the trouble. Save it for himself too so he wouldn’t have to pay for it later again.

He bent his elbows, breathing evenly and keeping them tracking alongside his body, until his chest dipped just below the angle of each elbow, then pushed back up, expelling the air. Slow, controlled so his throat wouldn’t burn like it had last time. His eyes were fixed on the trees across from him, the endless stretch of wood and darkness that he watched from his bed sometimes.

It reminded him of the trip he had taken years ago, camping with his cousins after having convinced his mother that he would bring a gun and that everything would go well. Even now, he remembered the distaste in her head shake and the veiled worry in her tone as she had thrown up a hand in defeat.

Fine, abni, but if you get mauled by a bear, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

A smile graced his mouth. It was like he was hardly there anymore. Though a few reps more and he felt a shift in breathing as Pavel sunk down onto the log next to him.

“Feel like this has gotten easier for you. A hundred and fifty reps, nothing, eh?” He chuckled and patted him on the shoulder with enough force that Emir briefly swayed. “Fast learner. You don’t piss me off as much.”

“Then why do you keep hurting me?” Emir asked coolly. His jaw tightened a bit, hearing the huff. As if the question was a challenge.

“Because you’re fun to hurt. You make fun noises, give me—all of us—a good time.”

Pavel’s eye caught a nearby stone and he tapped on his knee thoughtfully as Emir plunged into another graceful pushup. The leer he wore quickly grew crooked and he revelled in the tiny spark of fear that stuttered Emir’s breathing. Hearing it was always wonderful because it meant the little shit was listening to him and on his toes more often than he had been.

“I noticed your back was all fucked up,” Pavel admitted, reaching for the rock which could have easily been five pounds, “when we changed.”

Emir’s eyes stayed frozen on the hollow of a nearby tree. His chest was beginning to burn with the onset of faint panic but he was surprised as it wasn’t his fiftieth repetition yet where the burning usually started. “Is that new?”

The pressure of the rock came fully and at once into the small of his back and he jerked and tightened into a plank. He couldn’t move for a few seconds, realizing Pavel’s intention.

“You haven’t finished. Keep going or the next one goes into your head.”

Admittedly, the next few repetitions of the pushup were only slightly less comfortable, just a tinge less familiar with the weight on his spine and he felt his elbows wobble only the slightest amount. Still, Emir persisted. He had gone no more than ten before the next rock, larger this time, sat in front of the first. Hearing Pavel’s snicker, a silent rage caved in his chest.

“You just had to fall into my hands, huh?” he laughed, patting the ground for another. “Unlucky bastard.”

Emir was beginning to feel the onset of exhaustion seeping into an already worn body. He knew if he collapsed, Pavel would have something to say about it, presumably with his shoe. He winced and exhaled on the wrong motion, had to pause for a moment and focus his breathing before the next plunge and all while ignoring the wry laughter of the man next to him.

“At least I’m not dead,” he muttered.

Pavel stirred before he was about to lay the third rock on the next few ridges of his spine. At first, he scoffed off the response but didn’t resume the motion. He stayed silent for a few moments, letting Emir dip into the next less-than-graceful pushup and watched a bead of sweat roll down his dark temple. Something akin to cynical admiration passed across his eyes.

“You’d rather be alive, here?”

This time, Emir stopped too. He kept his eyes forward, trained as usual, but too long had passed for it to feel like Pavel’s routine. His gaze gradually flickered over to the green eyes and tan skin beside him that so typically fixed him like prey, now staring at him in annoyed curiosity. “Yeah,” he admitted.

The trees rustled softly in the background, dampening the mechanics from the camp as if they were unpleasant, fading memories.

“You’re an idiot.” Pavel let the stone go and smirked to himself at the wince but it was less self-satisfied. “For getting caught and for thinking this is going to be better.”

“My pilot got shot and we crashed directly in front of you,” Emir grumbled, feeling a pulling need to defend his honour and that of his late pilot’s. “Didn’t get caught.” He glanced at Pavel warily and breathed out, seeing no brimming violence under his expression. “Besides, I-I have a family at home to think about.”

The green eyes narrowed suspiciously. “You’re not going home.”

He swallowed, not quite yielding. “Maybe not now.”

“Maybe not ever.”

Emir waited in silence for a minute more, saying little besides the soft, stuttering breaths that whistled in unison with the pines, gull calls, and the dirt twisting under Pavel’s shoe. He sensed it was an exercise to relieve boredom with how often he did it. He didn’t want to think about what Pavel had just said.

He thought about it too often, already.

Slowly, he exhaled and pushed down again under the weight of three rocks, elbows bending alongside his body, and inhaled like it would be his last breath on his—shit, he had lost count. He mechanically continued, hoping that at a certain point, Pavel would stop him and let him go when he had fulfilled the day’s quota of entertainment but then, froze completely upon realizing that it had always been his responsibility to count.

Pavel noticed his uncertainness. “What? You lost count or something?”

Emir did nothing for a minute before lapsing into silent despair and nodding. What was the worst he could do, really? Kick him in the ribs? Big fucking whoop. He waited for the blow anyways, feeling that it would be a welcome relief to the incessant burning in his arms that threatened to have his entire body give out at that moment and crash to the ground onto that asshole’s boot.

But in the meantime, Pavel had been quiet and uncharacteristically thoughtful.

“Get up,” he ordered. “That’s enough.” He pushed himself up from the log and stretched to the clouds, wincing himself at the unwise angle he had been slouching in since Emir had begun the exercise. “Go back to your dorm and don’t let me see you again today.”

Too stunned to move, Emir fixed him with a fearful look until he realized it was a serious order. He could have let himself fall to the ground and really, it was tempting. To lay there and let the exhaustion seep into the dirt but Pavel’s patience already seemed stick-thin and he didn’t want to push today’s generosity. He rolled to let the rocks fall off and bolted to standing, starting his journey back to the camp. When he turned for Pavel’s approval, the man wasn’t moving.

His eyebrows pricked up. “Maybe not now,” he muttered. “Idiot.”

Tagging: @straight-to-the-pain @heathenville

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#whump #whump writing #military whump #ussr #wartime whump #sadistic whumper #threats #captivity #captive whumpee #forced exercise #overexertion

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wiypt-writes · 3 years

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Too Loose And You’ll Lose It

Ch7: Old Habits Die Hard

Part 2

Co-written with @icanfeelastormbrewing

Summary: It’s the day of Pooch’s wedding, emotions are running high and it all comes to a dramatic conclusion.

Pairing: Jake Jensen x OFC Stella Stevenson

Warnings: Bad language and a whole heap of angst. Smut (NSFW, 18+)

A/N: So here is part 2 of Chapter 7…and it’s explosive! Translation: Chinga tu madre, Cabrón = Go fuck your mother, asshole.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. We do not own any characters in this series bar Stella Stevenson and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

TLAYLI Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 7 Part 1

Lay your demons at the door, this is what we're fighting for, trying to clear the air but nobody's talking. We've been breathing this disease, trying to find a way to see, but the end is in your eyes, let's finish this tonight.

“What I don’t get,” Jensen looked at the bridesmaid who watched him with rapt attention, twisting a strand of hair round her finger, “is why come to Mexico and not get married on the beach?”

“Well they thought about it, but then Jolene decided she didn’t want to get covered in sand.” The red-head shot back. “So they chose this terrace, it’s kinda on the beach, I mean, you can see the ocean.”

“But if you don’t want to get sandy, why come here in the first place?”

“Because it’s cheaper.” She shrugged.

“So you’re saying Pooch is a cheapskate.” Jensen raised his eyebrow and she hesitated before she shook her head.

“No, that’s…” she began to talk, protesting that wasn’t what she was saying when he heard Roque shout out Stella’s nickname.

“Hey, Arty!”

Jake instantly glanced over his shoulder to look for her, and when he saw her, the air was completely knocked from his lungs.

Her dress was a gorgeous watercolor-like ombre blue. The deepest of sky blue shade covering her shoulders with wide straps and a deep v-neck line that wrapped at her breasts and it lightened just at the lower ribs to a cotton blue, before trailing down at the hemline in a pale blue almost white shade. The cut exposed her leg to mid-thigh, giving just a peek of the petunia inked into her skin. Her hair was pulled back off her face in an elegant, sleek pony tail and her lips popped a deep, burnt red. Her blue eyes stood out under thick lashes and perfectly lined eyebrows, the rest of her make up remaining neutral. She'd only been in the sun a day, but just as it always did, it had kissed her body in a way that made each little freckle pop and her entire frame glow.

The salty sea air and sunshine always looked good on Stella Stevenson and today, the overall effect made Jensen's mouth water.

“Holy shit.” He muttered, turning away from the girl and conversation without so much as a goodbye, leaving her stood there shooting daggers at his back.

Stella smiled as Roque kissed her cheek, then Cougs and finally Clay before she stepped back and smiled as their Colonel’s arm curled around the slim, petite brunette to his right.

“Stel, this is Emma, Emma this is Stella.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Emma smiled, “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Why doesn’t that fill me full of confidence?” Stella laughed and Emma shook her head, smiling.

“Oh, no, I assure you, it’s all been good!”

As the two women continued to chat and laugh, Jake stood there, waiting for his turn, hands jammed into the pockets of his dress slacks. Eventually, Stella nodded and turned to him and he flashed her a smile.

“You know, that’s the second day in a row I’ve seen you looking like a grown up!” She quickly scanned him up and down, taking in his well-fitted, steel grey suit. The top button of his jacket fastened, nipping in at his slim waist and spanning over his broad chest and shoulders. The crisp white dress shirt underneath stood out against the suit, and matched his white pocket swatch, the entire ensemble pulled together by the steel grey tie which matched his jacket and slacks.

As she was looking, Jake leaned forward, her perfume sending him lightheaded as always. He placed a gentle peck to her cheek, his chin brushing her ear slightly. “You look stunning.” He whispered, and he didn’t miss the goose-bumps that appeared on her skin as she swallowed and pulled away.

“Thanks.” She stood still, simply looking at him, and the two of them were locked in a gaze before Stella cleared her throat, breaking the spell. “You guys know where we’re supposed to be seated?”

“Yeah, we’re on the right,” Clay gestured, “Grooms side or whatever.”

The gang moved to find their seats, Jensen stepping forward ready to offer Stel his arm but Roque beat him to it.

“Always the gentleman, huh?” She smiled at him and he chuckled, a deep, low timbre rumbling from his chest.

“You know me, Arty.”

Jake watched them go, before he gave a yelp and clutched at his side, glaring at Cougar.

“Stop drooling, Jensen.” Cougar peered at him from underneath his hat, smirking as Jake rubbed at the place on his ribs where he had dug him with his elbow.

“I’m not drooling, shut up Cougs.”

Thankfully, Cougar left it there and they moved to take their seats along the row that Clay, Emma, Roque and Stella had already occupied. Cougar, whether on purpose or not, reached the end of the row first and slid in next to Stella, separating her from Jensen. Jensen rolled his eyes, but before he could get too pissed about it, Pooch arrived, in a simple black pinstripe three piece with an ivory and red striped tie, and made his way down the aisle, greeting everyone. He stopped at the row that contained the Losers and smiled, Jensen pulling him into a hug, clapping his shoulder as he pulled away.

The thing with weddings, is that no one can actually tell you were the day goes. They seem to pass in a whirl and Pooch’s was no exception. What felt like mere seconds after The Groom had arrived, but was in fact more near to twenty minutes, the music started and Jolene appeared at the large arch at the back of the terrace, walking slowly with her dad down the aisle, in a gorgeous knee-length fitted lace dress, which set off her curves and legs perfectly, her curly ebony hair pinned up elegantly at the back of her head. As she reached Pooch, she reached up and straightened his tie and Stella heard a “Pay up, Captain” to her right. She turned to see Roque reaching over Emma, handing Clay a twenty, not even looking at him, and she let out a soft snort, shaking her head.

The Bride and Groom exchanged simple vows and Pooch head tears in his eyes as he made his declaration. At that point, Jake couldn’t help but take a glance at Stel to find her looking down at her hands, the fingers of her left twisting the white gold and ruby solitaire ring that sat on her right ring finger, a gift from him for her twenty-first. He swallowed a little, as he hadn’t seen her wear it in a while before she glanced up, and he took the opportunity to study her pretty profile for a second before he turned his attention back to the front for the ring exchange. Before long the new Mr and Mrs Pooch headed down the red carpet in the middle of the aisle to cheers and the guests filed their way back inside for drinks whilst the staff set up the outside terraced area for the reception.

To Jake’s delight, there was no huge stuffy sit down meal, it was just a large buffet which meant he could eat what he wanted and how much he wanted, which suited him perfectly. What didn’t suit him, however, was that he didn’t see that much of Stella, at all. Post eating and listening to the speeches, whether intentionally or not, she avoided him, spending most of the time sipping champagne and cocktails chatting to Emma and few of Jolene’s friends. Jake was left to mooch around, mainly with Cougar who was absolutely trying to get into the blonde bridesmaid’s panties. Unfortunately, she was stuck like glue to the red headed one that Jake wasn’t interested in.

“You make a shit wingman.” Cougar gave a jab to Jensen’s rib with his elbow as the two girls wandered off.

“Good job I’m not a pilot then.” Jensen shrugged, taking a pull from his beer as his eyes scanned the room for Stella.

At that point they both got strong slaps on their shoulders as Pooch drew up behind them both, leaning between them a little.

“Your momma was a pilot.”

Cougar and Jensen both looked at one another before they slowly turned to glance at Pooch.

“Did you just drop a momma joke on your wedding day?” Jensen snorted

“A shit one at that.” Cougar added, tipping his hat slightly with the neck of his bottle.

“Come on guys! As you have just said it’s my wedding day so let’s have a drink together before Jolene’s, sorry my wife’s,” at that he grinned, “bridesmaids hunt you down again.”

“What if I want to be hunted?” Cougar shrugged

“Hence why I said before. Pay attention Cougs.”

“Chinga tu madre, Cabrón.” Cougar smirked, causing both Pooch and Jensen to snort as they knew that insult very well having heard it a few times.

“I dare you to say it to her face.” Pooch looked at him as Cougar merely smirked, giving him a wink.

Pooch rolled his eyes, “what about you, Jensen?”

“I don’t wanna fuck Momma Pooch!”

“Why? What’s wrong with her?” Pooch looked at him.

“What? Nothing, that’s just gross!” Jensen pulled a face.

“He’s considering a trip down memory lane instead.” Cougar teased and Pooch groaned.

“Dude! Seriously, you need to get over it!”

At that Jake turned to look at Cougar. “No I’m not, stop making shit up!” Cougar shrugged, smirking slightly and simply held his gaze as Jensen groaned. “Whatever, man.”

Cougar merely shrugged, as chilled as ever whilst Pooch laughed and handed them a drink from a passing tray. “Well, I think that deserves a toast. To the first married Loser…oh, wait, that would be me! And to Jensen who seriously needs to stop flogging a dead horse!”

Jensen took a deep breath, once upon a time he’d fully expected to be married by now, full disclosure, to Stella. Maybe a kid on the way if there wasn’t one around already. And that thought gave him a perfect way out of this current train of conversation.

“How long till Baby Pooch comes along?”

“Dude, if it was up to me he’d be on the way already!” Pooch grinned.

“He?” Jensen shook his head. “Nah man, you want a girl.”

“What? No! I want a little Pooch. Why would I want a girl?”

“A girl always loves her daddy.” Jensen shrugged. “Like Gracie, man, she’s awesome. There’s just something about seeing her with Robert. It’s cute.” He paused and grinned. “I want a girl. Imma call her Daisy.”

At that Cougar let out a snort as Pooch began to howl with laughter.

“Who’s Daisy?” Clay asked as he appeared with Roque, the pair of them smirking at something.

“Jensen’s first born. Apparently.” Pooch wiped his eyes.

“Wait, what?” Roque frowned and turned to Jensen. “You have a kid?”

“No, it’s a hypothetical one.” Jensen shook his head.

“Good.” Roque blew out a breath. “Do me a favour and never reproduce, Jensen.”

“Fuck you Roque,” Jake snapped back. “I’d make a great dad.”

“Yeah, well, you might wanna start ‘daddying’ that chick in the red dress over there, because she’s eye-fucking you shamelessly.” Roque nodded over his shoulder and Jake turned around. He gave the girl a once over, she was pretty but…his trail of thought died as he spotted Stella was stood alone at the bar. He necked his drink and holding up his glass he stated, “need a refill.” before he turned and headed over the room.

“Yeah, sure.” Pooch rolled his eyes as Cougar gave a low chuckle.

“Told ya.”

“Man he just can’t help himself, can he?” Roque shook his head as the three of them watched Jensen who approached Stella, his hand dropping to the small of her back as he leaned over to talk to her.

“Nope” Clay let out a sigh as Stell laughed at something Jake said. “Ahh, leave him to it, we can always do damage control, as usual where he is concerned.”

“How do you damage control a suicide bomb?” Pooch looked at Clay and Roque snorted.

“Pooch is right, dude is basically a hand grenade right now.”

“Don’t get involved guys.” Clay shook his head and Cougar nodded.

“I agree with boss. If Jensen’s gonna pull the pin, he can dive on it.”

“The problem will come when he tries to ‘pull her pin’ and she kicks his ass. But, fortunately I will be enjoying my wedding night.” Pooch shrugged. “See ya, Losers. Don’t have too much fun!”

The three of them watched him wander off over the room, shouting to someone, and Clay’s eyes fell on his date, Emma, who was smiling at him and waving from her spot at a table.

“I will also be enjoying Pooch’s wedding evening.” Clay winked and walked off.

Roque turned to look at Cougar. “Don’t even think of it…”

Cougar merely chuckled, tipped his hat and also wandered off, hands in his pockets as he sauntered over to a group of girls.

“That’s okay, just leave me here, I’m good!” Roque called after them before he let out a sigh. “Assholes.”

****

As the hours passed they drank, a lot. And naturally, where alcohol is involved inhibitions start to lower. There was a lot of fun being had, a lot of jokes being shared and other stupid activities being partaken in, such as a raucous drinking game Stella and Jake played against Pooch’s uncle and his brother.

Which they lost, spectacularly.

Stella was feeling fairly light headed thanks to the mix of champagne, beer and cocktails running through her system, along with a few shots of tequila and somehow, she had no idea how, the two of them ended up on the dance floor, dancing to some really random shit when ‘La Bamba’ started playing. Jake grabbed Stella’s hand with a whoop of joy and started twirling her round, her face creasing in laughter as they let loose, Jake showing off his pretty neat footwork

“I thought you said he wasn’t taken?” The red headed bridesmaid gestured to Jake as she stood next to Pooch and he snorted.

“He’s not”

“Could have fooled me.”

“It’s complicated.” Pooch shrugged. “Long story short, she’s taken, he’s not. He wishes she wasn’t as it’s his fault she is.” He turned to the woman besides him. “If that makes any sense.”

From the look on her face, it made no sense at all, which wasn’t surprising to Pooch as he struggled to make sense of Jensen and Stella’s fucked up dynamic, but before she could reply there was a slap on his shoulder.

“Ten bucks says they end up in bed together,” Roque slurred.

“No way man.” Pooch shook his head, “she won’t cheat on Evan.”

“Fuck that guy,” Roque snorted. “Look, she’s hammered, here alone, I’m calling it.”

Pooch was about to tell Roque that Evan present or not, Stella would cut Jensen’s balls off if he tried anything when the familiar opening bars of ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ cut across the dance floor.

Both Stella and Jake paused a little, Jake running his hand through his hair as he gestured to the tables, clearly asking Stella if she wanted to quit dancing when she shook her head, giving him a smile, which Jensen returned as she took his hand, the pair of them beginning to sing and dance along.

“Twenty bucks,” Roque hiccupped, upping his stake.

“You’re on.” Pooch shook his hand as the bridesmaid snorted.

“And you’re losing.”

Pooch watched her go and then turned back to the dancefloor to see Jake and Stella now dancing pretty close...

This had always been their song. That was why Jensen had asked if she wanted to sit it out when it had come on, but she’d refused, and as such he’d been twirling her round to the music just like he always had. After one spin, they end up facing one another, singing very loudly as Jake threw his arms up and around, Stella snorting and laughing at his antics.

“Do you remember dancing to this at prom?” Jensen grinned as he continued to throw his arms around wildly, Stella shaking her head. He smiled, his mind straying back to that night, how amazing the entire evening had been, not least for the fact it had been the first time they’d fully given themselves to one another. He remembered laying there, after, as they both giggled and kissed and cuddled, thinking there and then that was it for him, there’d never be another girl who came close.

And then he’d pulled a Jensen, and ruined it.

“Of course I do.” Stella smiled. “Life was simpler back then, huh?”

“Isn’t it always?” Jensen asked as he spun her back round, pulling her in so her back was to his chest, hands dropping to her hips as the electric guitar solo struck up signalling the song was almost at and end. He felt Stella take a deep breath.

“Well we were kids.”

“But it was easy.” Jensen dropped his chin to her shoulder, his cheek brushing hers. “It was just you and me and the rest of our lives ahead.”

Stella tilted her head to look at him as the song faded into ‘I’ve Had The Time Of My Life’ and she pulled away, turning to face him with a shrug.

“Didn’t quite work out the way we thought though did it.” She asked, her hands sliding round his neck.

Jensen sighed, his fingers flexing against her hips. “I know. I fucked up.” He swallowed, the lump thick in his throat and Stella shook her head.

“Don’t.” She warned. “Not now.”

But Jensen wasn’t listening. He had to get it off his chest, he couldn’t stand the sick, hot feeling he got every time he thought about her and Evan. He needed to tell her, even if she told him there was no chance for them ever again, at least he’d know.

“No, just listen to me, Stelly, please.” His eyes locked onto hers. “There’s not a day goes by I don’t regret it. You know that, right? And no matter what happens I’ll always-“

He was cut off as Stella landed a harsh, stinging slap to his left cheek, his head whipping to the right. He took a deep breath, stunned, before he turned his head to face her, shocked splashed across his handsome features.

A few people around them stopped dancing, and Stella could hear a few hushed whispers, along with a louder shout of ouch, from who she had no idea. She opened her mouth to say something, the tears spilling from her eyes before she realised she needed to get out of there, and fast. So she did.

She hurried out of the room towards the hotel lobby and elevator, wiping the tears that were falling down her face. She knew she shouldn’t have done that, and maybe it was a little harsh, but the anger she felt towards Jake at that moment in time was insurmountable. He had left her, twice basically, and continued to fuck with her head, and then had the audacity to try and ...well, she didn't even know what he was trying to do. Her head was a mess, a fuckery of conflicting feelings, and she was as drunk as she could remember being in a long time, which wasn't helping.

She was also well aware that she'd just made a complete scene at Pooch's wedding, potentially seen by his entire family and friends, and that not only embarrassed her, it also made her feel like crap for being that asshole guest that everyone would be talking about for months to come.

*****

Jensen ignored both Roque and Clay who had crowded round to ask him what the hell he'd done to deserve a slap, but he simply pushed them out of the way, only one thing on his mind, getting to Stella and making her listen. He hurried out of the room, skidding to a slightly unsteady halt in the corridor before he jogged down the hallway and into the lobby where he spotted her at the elevator.

“Stel!" He yelled her name in an attempt to stop her, drawing intrigued and surprised looks from the guests and staff alike in the atrium. "Stella, wait!"

She didn't turn around, but he could tell she'd heard him, well, everyone in the lobby had heard him, but if that wasn't evidence enough to show that his calls across the foyer had reached her, the fact that she began angrily slamming her hand against the elevator call button certainly was. Jensen hurried across the shiny tiled surface, the heels of his dress shoes clicking as he went, expertly side stepping a couple who were walking through with cases, cursing as he saw Stella stepping into the elevator. He continued running, but just as he skidded to a halt he caught a glimpse of her angry tear stained face as the doors shut.

"Fuck!" He shouted, banging his hand on the wall just above the call panel. Spinning, he almost collided with a young couple who were looking at him, and the man shot him a filthy glare as he pushed between them, running to the stairs. He took them two, sometimes three at a time as he raced to the fourth floor in an attempt to catch her, and he burst into the corridor in time to see her stalking to her room.

He paused to take a breath, relief flooding his system at the fact he'd manage to catch her before she got to her room, before he realised he still had to stop her.

“Stel!” His shout was a desperate plea, and she spun to face him, her face surprised clearly at how he'd managed to get there so quick, and whilst she was still he took his chance. “Look, I’m sorry I made you upset but-“

With that she gave an angry growl almost as she turned around and carried on, the heel of her shoe catching a little as she did, causing her to stumble and Jensen felt his anger boiling over, this was fucking ridiculous, and here he was shouting down a hotel corridor, to her fucking back.

"For fucks sake, Estella, will you a stop being a bitch and just listen to me?"

At that she stopped dead and wheeled round, sheer venomous disdain etched across her face. "I am SICK of listening to you Jacob." She spat his full name back at him, in response to him using hers. "It’s always the fucking same. You know if anything I should have listened to you years ago when you dumped me and stayed the fuck away from you and your stupid-"

"You just slapped me, Stella!" Jensen exclaimed "In front of everyone in the fucking room! The least you can do is hear me out, I deserve that surely?"

"You don’t deserve shit." She snorted. "Now take a hint and leave me the fuck alone!"

"What, like your boyfriend?"

The words flew out of Jensen's mouth before he had even registered them, and from the look on Stella’s face she was as shocked as he was that he'd gone there. She took a deep breath, looked at the floor before she raised her head and stared at him, fresh tears in her eyes and Jensen sighed in frustration at himself.

"You know, just when I think you can’t go any lower." Her voice was soft and sad now, and Jensen stayed silent as he knew that had been a low blow. She took another shaky breath, shaking her head. "I’ve never come so close to hating you as I have right now. You are an asshole."

"Stell, look, I’m sorry. I shouldn't have said that..."

"Go to hell." She stated, her voice flat as she turned and carried on walking towards her room.

"Cougar told me what Evan said." Jensen blurted out, more words he hadn't planned on saying, and once more she stopped dead.

"Fucking-"

"Did you say it back?"

There was no answer.

"You didn't, did you?" Jensen continued to press as she started walking towards her again. "That's why he isn't here, aint it? Because you couldn't say it, and you fell out, and-"

"You tell me," she stopped at the door to her room, foraging in her purse for her key, "I mean, clearly you have all the answers and know everything about how I feel and-"

"Damnit Stella, just-"

"You know what?" She spun to face him as he stopped besides her. "Evan might not be perfect but he’s never dumped me for no fucking reason, then used me as and when he wanted. But, I suppose that’s on me because I was never strong enough to tell you to fuck off and now that I am, you don’t like it." She raised her hand and jabbed him in the chest. "You don’t like the fact I’m not there when you want to fuck something because I’ve got someone else in my life-" another jab "-someone who… who loves me and I-."

"And you what Stel?" Jensen interrupted her rant with a snort and she fell silent, her eyes flashing. "See you can’t even say it, can you?"

Stella glared at him, a look that would make anyone else quiver in their shoes but not him, not now. He was too far gone trying to make his point, trying to make her see his point, to care how angry he was making her.

“Just admit it Stella," he arched his eyebrow, stepping forward. He planted one hand by her head, palm flat on the surface of the door as he leaned closer to her, his voice level and even as he stated, “you don’t love him, you never will.”

“Fuck you.” Stella stumbled over her words a little, before her hands planted on his chest and she shoved him. Jake stepped back, slightly off balance more to the alcohol in his system than the force of her push, but he steadied himself, moving forwards again. She made to shove him once more but this time he was ready, and his hands caught her wrists, fingers curling round them as her room key fell to the floor.

“Fuck me yourself.” He shot. At that she shook her head and scoffed. “What’s the matter, Stel?” Jake’s voice dropped a little as his grip around her wrists tightened, and he pressed her further into the door, his head dropping, face inches from hers. “Scared you might like it, still?”

“Asshole.” Her voice was nothing more than a whisper and she pulled her arms violently to the side, Jake letting go. Once more she pushed him, this time he stepped away so she could bend and retrieve her room key from the floor, which took her a few attempts, her hand and eye coordination impaired from the drink. Eventually, she grabbed it and stood, a little unsteadily, turning her back to him.

As she slid the card into the slot, Jake was once more in her space behind her, his hands softly on her waist and he leaned towards her, his breath hot on her ear.

“Don’t be a chicken, Stel.” His voice was gravelly and he braced, waiting for another blow, but it never came. She swallowed a little, her chest heaving, and she made no attempt to stop his advances. She'd let go of what she had to say, and now she was physically proving him right in his assumptions and her denials

Emboldened by this, Jensen placed a soft kiss to her neck as she pushed the door to her room open, causing her breath to catch in her throat. She turned to him, her eyes locking into his and Jensen could see the conflict behind them. There was a war going on between her head and her heart and, had he been sober, Jensen probably would have walked away, knowing what he was doing was pretty shitty and unfair. But he wasn’t sober. He was drunk, and not just on alcohol but sheer desire for the woman stood in front of him. His Stelly. The girl he still loved.

As her large, clear blue eyes bounced across each of his whilst she grappled with her internal turmoil, Jake stood stock still waiting for her to make her move. He took a deep breath, expecting her to shove him away for that final time, and he would have taken it then, having already proven his point to both her and him, but then he saw it, that familiar darkening of her eyes.

The spark Stell still carried for him, that small flicker of a flame that for so long had been starved of oxygen, suddenly exploded and she reached out, grabbing his loose tie, bringing his lips crashing down to hers. Jake surged forward, pushing her backwards as he continued to kiss her, kicking the door to her room shut with his foot before he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, pouring every single bit of emotion and frustration he’d felt over the past few months into the kiss.

It was urgent, it was desperate, and the pair of them stumbled around the hotel room, Stella pushing his jacket off and tossing it to the floor somewhere before she yanked off his tie, her fingers moving to undo his shirt. Jake's hands fumbled with the floaty tulle skirt of her dress as he pulled it up around her waist, trailing hot kisses down the side of her neck whilst Stella pushed his shirt down his arms where he shrugged it off. Her hands planted on his chest as she smoothed her delicate palms over the solid planes of muscle, sliding them down over his defined abs and he gave a soft hiss as he felt her nimble fingers undoing the buckle of his belt. In a quick move that made her squeak slightly, he reached down and grabbed her ass, hauling her off the floor, her legs wrapping around his waist as he backed her up against the large sliding doors which led out to the balcony. His lips pressed back to hers whilst her back hit the thick glass a little harder than he had intended, drawing a soft grunt from her mouth as it rattled in the frame.

“Ow.” she mumbled against his mouth, grabbing a fist full of his hair and tugging harshly so he looked at her. He gave an apologetic grin she looked at him for a moment before her hands moved and plucked off his glasses, in a movement that really shouldn’t be hot but for some reason it always was. He took them from her, depositing them in his pocket as his lips gently latched onto her neck, sucking at the pulse point. A barely there whimper sounded in his ear as he nipped at her skin and his attention moved downwards, hot, open mouthed kisses traced down her sternum which was exposed between the deep V neckline of her dress. A low moan left her mouth and her hips pushed down against the bulge in his trousers and he pressed into her, giving her the friction she was asking for. Her hands skimmed down his spine, her fingers making his skin burn and prickle as they danced over his back, coming to rest on his broad shoulders , digging into his muscles as Jake pushed his hips up again, grinding against her.

Neither of them were thinking straight, it was way past that point. This was a pure, carnal desire between two, once-upon-a-time long term lovers, both desperate to scratch that deep itch that they still had for one another. But still Jake paused, pulling back so he could take a moment to look at her. She was slightly dishevelled, strands of her hair had fallen loose from her up-do, framing her heart shaped face. Her cheeks were flushed, lips swollen from his kisses, but it was her eyes which caught him. He'd always loved her eyes and now they were staring at him with a wild, lust filled look that he knew so well. He swallowed a little, before she moved her hands to his cheeks, pulling his face back to hers. Jake moaned into this kiss and his hands moved round her back, her feet landed on the floor as her back slipped slightly against the smooth surface she had been pressed against. Their mouths remained open, pressed together, sharing air as Jensen slid the zipper of her dress down, causing it to gape a little at the front and he reached up, thumbs gently running on the underside of the straps before he slid them down her arms, placing a soft kiss to each of her shoulders in turn. As he pushed the soft, blue chiffon of her dress down to her waist he couldn’t help the carnal growl that rumbled in his throat as he saw she wasn't wearing a bra.

"Fuck, Stel. You're beautiful. You’ve always been beautiful." He muttered, his lips back on hers as his hands cradled her face. She stepped out of her dress, his hands moving down to grip her hips, fingers curling over the softness of her flesh as he pushed her back against the cold surface of the window. His lips claimed hers again before he moved his mouth, nibbling his way down the column of her throat, tongue dipping into the hollow at the base of her neck, teeth grazing her collar bone as he mapped his way down her body in a way he had done so many times before.

Stella felt Jensen's hands sliding down her bare thighs as he sunk to the floor and her brain had barely registered the fact he was on his knees, when he hooked one leg over his shoulder, shifting her soaked panties to one side. At the first touch his mouth made to her inner thigh she sighed in pleasure, the raw scratch of his short beard a contrast to the warm, softness of his mouth as he moved upwards before he finally gave one long lick over her sex, dipping his tongue into her a little, causing her to cry out in pleasure, one hand falling to his head, the other palm slapping against the glass surface behind her. He repeated his action, his tongue flicking up through her sensitive outer lips and this time he sucked on her clit, causing her back to arch, her had dropping back in sheer pleasure as her shoulders pressed further onto the glass in an attempt to keep herself up-right, all the time writhing at his actions.

His tongue and lips worked in tandem, un-doing her lap by lap, all the time she was vaguely aware of the fact she was begging him not to stop, her words punctuated by gasps and pants, manicured nails digging into his scalp as her hand curled over his head, fingers tangling into his short hair. It wasn’t long before Stella felt that familiar tightening across her stomach and her leg trembled slightly as she fought to keep herself upright.

“Fuck, JJ,” she stuttered, as he let out a groan, the vibration so pleasurable it was almost painful as his tongue dipped in and out of her entrance, continuing to fuck her the way he had always been able to do. The burning in her stomach suddenly took over her entire body and she gave a loud cry as she came, her head falling forward before it rolled back again against the window with a hard thud as the world around her went silent. She grasped Jensen’s shoulder as her leg gave way and he quickly stood up, catching her easily, a grin on his face as she opened her eyes and looked at him, her pupils blown with lust, her thighs once more locked round his waist. He kissed her again, the kiss absolutely filthy as he stepped back and turned them, crossing the room where he dropped her gently onto the bed.

She knelt up on the soft mattress, her now almost completely loose hair falling over her face as she hooked her fingers into the belt loops of his dress slacks and pulled him to her. In one smooth, fluid movement of her hands she’d undone his flies before she slid his pants and boxers down in one swoop. She dropped her head and took him in her mouth without so much as a warning, her eyes locked onto his.

“Shit, Stel” he mumbled, his hands tangling into her hair, guiding her softly as she moved, her head bobbing back and forth before she pulled away to lick along the base of his shaft, tracing the vein in the underneath, and Jensen knew then if she carried on he was going to blow his load before he’d even gotten to the main event.

“Get up here.” His voice was low as he cupped her face and guided her back up, kissing her again. With a gentle shove, Jensen pushed her back on the bed, stepping out of his remaining clothes before he crawled over her, sliding her lace underwear down her long, smooth legs. He didn’t give her a chance to say anything before he gave her ankles a soft tug, pulling her down further on the bed, crawling between her thighs, his mouth tracing its way up from her belly to her breasts which were heaving, nipples pebbled in excitement. Knowing exactly what would leave her nothing short of a wreck underneath him, he turned his attention to her right breast, lapping and sucking, grazing with his teeth whilst his hand palmed at her left. She let out a soft, breathy moan, which was music to Jensen's ears as his mouth and hand traded places. He worked her over, till she was begging to feel him where she needed him, her knees clenching around his slim waist, desperate for something to help the burning that was between her legs. He shifted his position a little, propping himself up so he could kiss her deeply again, hands on either side of her face as he buried himself inside of her, with a loud groan.

“God you feel so good, Stel.” His mouth moved over her jaw to her ear as he praised her, nipping at the lobe. At his words Stella gave a loud groan as he thrust up into her again, deeply, burying himself to the hilt before he rotated his hips in a dirty grind, a move he knew drove her wild. She cried out, clawing at his back and he groaned as she tipped her hips up to meet his.

"You know,” another thrust, "he’ll never be able,” another thrust, “to fuck you the way I can," he rotated his hips for another grind which caused her once more to cry out, nails biting at his back as he drove a little deeper, "because he doesn’t know you like I do."

To prove his point, one hand moved and gently wrapped round the front of her throat, giving the gentlest of squeezes but he knew that would send her feral. It was something he had discovered a long time ago, being so in control the rest of the time, Stella loved when he would take over like this, dominate her a touch and whisper cheeky, dirty little things into ear. It had always driven her crazy and tonight was no exception. He’d succeeded in throwing fuel onto the fire that was already raging, and a sharp, strangled wail of his name stuttered from her lips as he felt her fluttering around him.

"You were made for me, Baby Girl." Jensen’s own voice was a low growl as his hips picked up their pace, Stella's head falling back onto the pillows as Jake's mouth claimed hers again, the kiss sloppy and desperate matching the rhythm of his thrusts.

Because he was. He was desperate for this woman. Desperate like he’d never been desperate before.

“Jakey.” She keened underneath him, hands still clawing the muscles of his back which were flexing under her touch, equally as needy for him as he was her. He reached down to hook a leg over his shoulder causing her to mewl loudly at the change of angle and depth as he continued to drive into her like his life depended on it. He bent over, mouth swallowing another loud moan as he did, feeling her sweat soaked skin slick against his.

“Fuck, baby I’m close,” he stuttered, his hips snapping back and forth, “see what you do to me?”

Her beautiful eyes were wide, her mouth pressed to his as she let out a broken lament as her walls fluttered around him again, causing him to almost purr in delight as she did. She was close, so fucking close. And it felt good. As his cock dragged in and out of her, the feel of him sliding up against her spot had her worked into a complete frenzy, and she was teetering right on that edge.

“Don’t stop,” she panted, her head falling back further onto the pillow as she grasped his arms whilst he continued to fuck her into the mattress. And then, her stomach tightened and she felt the rush of pleasure that she knew was the end, beginning to wash over her. "Oh, God, Jake...I'm..."

"Come on, Stel." Jake growled, his hips still pumping in and out of her "Cum for me, Baby, just like you always do."

At his words, she gave a low, sultry whimper and her eyes fluttered shut, nails digging into his biceps as she shuddered underneath him, her back arching as her walls clamped down on him, milking his cock and that was it. He was done for, just like he always was when it came to this woman.

“Shit, Stel," he groaned as he felt his abs tighten as he came with a force he hadn't felt in a long time. His hips faltered as he cried out, shooting his load straight into her, before after one final, deep thrust he collapsed on top of her, his face buried into her neck.

The room was silent bar the sounds of their deep, heavy breathing as they both came down, fighting for control. Jake felt her hands gently move round to tangle in his hair, nails scratching his scalp and he raised his head, eyes still closed, enjoying her touch.

“Jake,” she finally whispered, still slightly out of breath but he didn't miss the tremble in her voice and he raised his head, opening his eyes to see her looking back at him. Her cheeks were flushed, hair all over the place and fuck, he’d never see anything so damned beautiful in his life as her undone underneath him. But her eyes, they were misting over with tears and he swallowed, shaking his head.

"Stel… " he began, and she turned her head away from his, screwing her eyes shut as her face crumpled.

"Fuck, what did we just do?" She whispered, opening her eyes and she looked at the wall to her right for a moment before Jensen tipped her face back round to him.

"Don't." He shook his head, pressing a kiss to the bridge of her nose. "Don't do this, not now." He pressed their foreheads together, his nose bumping hers and she gave a quiet sniff as he pressed his lips to hers softly.

“Do you want me to go?” He didn’t really want to ask the question, for fear of her answer but she shook her head, her eyes a little lost as she looked at him.

“No, I don’t. And that’s the problem.” She whispered.

He wanted to try and assure her that it was all okay and that they hadn’t done anything wrong but his words died in his throat, because he knew technically they had. Whatever was going on with her and Agent Shitname, she was still with him, meaning she’d cheated and he knew that would be cutting her up inside.

And now Jensen felt like shit for putting her in that position.

He gently pecked her lips again and with a soft movement he pulled out from her and lay on his back, his hand rubbing his chest. After a little pause he felt Stella turn into him and her head lay on his chest, his arm curling round her shoulder as she sniffed a little, turning her face into his sternum.

“It’s gonna be okay, Stelly.” He pressed a kiss to her head.

It was lame, but it was all he could thing to say. He wasn’t surprised when she didn’t reply, and there wasn’t another word spoken between the two of them before they both fell into a deep, exhausted sleep.

****

Stella woke the next morning, her bare back pressed into a hard, muscled chest and didn't even need to turn round to know whose arm was thrown round her waist. As the memories of what had happened the night before flooded her brain she squeezed her eyes closed, taking a deep, shuddering breath, fighting the urge to snuggle further back into the arms of the man she knew so well. Instead, she gently untangled herself from Jensen and without a glance back headed quietly into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She glanced in the mirror and grimaced as she saw the previous day’s make up was streaked all over her face. Grabbing her cleanser from her toiletries bag she wiped it away, tossing the cotton pads into the trash before she turned on the shower and stepped into the stream. She stood there for a while, her face titled to meet the water as it beat down on her, washing away the silent tears that were pouring down her cheeks.

Ten minutes or so later she stepped out, almost working on auto pilot and dried herself off, before grabbing one of the hotel provided towel robes. Once wrapped in it, she squeezed the water out of her hair, dragged a brush through it and then opened the door.

Just as expected, Jensen was still flat out in the bed, although he'd now turned onto his back. It had always been a joke between the two of them that he could sleep through a damned earthquake after a heavy drinking session, yet never failed to hear his alarm. Stella took a moment to study his face, a face she knew by heart, every freckle and line, the curve of his nose and angle of his jaw. Biting her lip, she moved towards the back of the room, made herself a coffee as quietly as she could before she retrieved her phone from her purse that had been tossed down carelessly the night before and headed out onto the balcony, closing the doors behind her.

She sank into one of the chairs, tucking her legs under her and glanced at the screen. There wasn't much battery left but she had a couple of missed calls. One from Clay and another form Cougar, both probably wondering where she had bailed to, and one from Evan. She swallowed as she also spotted she had a message from him too.

Ev- Hey, Pumpkin. Look, I'm so sorry about how things went down the other night. I overreacted, and that's on me. I really hope you're having a good time. Please call me when you can, and we can talk when you're home xx

Stella felt the guilt twist in her gut even more and she gave a sigh, tossing her phone onto the table.

"He’ll never be able to fuck you the way I can, because he doesn’t know you like I do."

Jakes voice rattled around her head and she took a dep breath, looking over the balcony down at the pool area below. Try as she might, she couldn't even deny he was right. The sex with Evan wasn't bad, in fact she would go as far as saying it was pretty damned good, likely to be earth shattering to most women. But, to her, there had always been something that held her back.

And now she was forced to admit head on what she'd been trying to deny for months. It was because he wasn't Jake.

Jake Jensen had worked her way into his heart from the day they had met when they were merely eleven years old, and try as she might she couldn't shake him. That year they had been apart, she'd tried so hard, and had been sure she'd managed, and then she'd seen him and they'd fucked, and fallen back into that awful cycle of being together but not being together.

She couldn't stay with Evan. She'd known that even before last night had happened but the fact she'd basically opened her legs so easily for Jensen went to prove that she didn't love Evan, and she wasn't sure she ever would.

She took a shuddering breath and then her attention jerked upwards as Jake opened the balcony door, his hair mussed, top half bare as he rubbed his eyes, his glasses in his hand.

"Hey." he offered, almost shyly and Stella gave him a nod.

"Hi."

There was an awkward silence as he sat down on the chair opposite her, slipping his glasses onto his nose. He watched as she avoided his gaze, glancing over the balcony, occasionally looking at her hands which were worrying one another. Eventually, he could stand it no more and he reached over to take her hands in his.

"Stel, look, last night..."

"Last night was a mistake." She spoke, her eyes locking onto his. Jensen felt his gut churn, her words an icy blade digging into his heart.

"So, you’re just gonna pretend like it didn't happen and go back to that prick?" Jensen looked at her, his voice measured and Stella shook her head.

"No, I can't do that. Not now. Me and Evan are over, I'm gonna tell him when we get back. I don't love him, you're right. Because if I did I would never have given in and slept with you." She licked her lips.

Jake swallowed and looked down at his hands which were clasped around hers before he raised his head to stare her straight in the eye. "I'm sorry." he said eventually. "I'm sorry if you felt like, well, like I pushed you..."

"No, that's not what I'm saying." She squeezed his fingers. "I just, me and you, we can't keep doing this. We go round and round in circles and…" She took a shuddering breath as she trailed off, unable to articulate what she was trying to say.

"No, I get it." Jake gave her a small smile. He let go of her hands and stood up. "I should probably erm, go,” he gestured to the door, “I need to shower before breakfast and the taxi to the airport arrives."

"Okay." She nodded.

She watched him open the door to head inside, before he paused and turned to face her.

"I know you said what happened last night was a mistake, but I just want you to know that I wouldn’t change it for the world."

With that he gave her a final smile and headed back into the hotel room. Stella could see him through the glass doors as he hastily dressed, before without so much as another word he left, and as she heard the door to her room close, the tears once more began to fall.

**** Chapter 7 Part 3

#too loose and you'll lose it #jake jensen #jake jensen x ofc #jake jensen x original female character #the losers #the losers fan fiction #chris evans #chris evans characters

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fific7 · 3 years

Text

Dangerous and Divine - Part 9

Billy Russo x Reader

Summary: Billy Russo is an itch you don’t want to scratch. But he’s all over you like a rash.

A/N: This does not follow canon, it’s mainly fluff & lemon zest 🍋 The GIF is from Exposed, unreleased pilot show in case you’re wondering 😌... Billy vibes.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content including oral and unprotected* sex between consenting adults. Someone loses the plot and makes a bad decision. Some drinking & swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My GIF)

You FaceTimed him, but it rang out unanswered. Shrugging, you sent him a text, just asking him to call you as soon as he could. Then you shoved your phone onto the coffee table, turned your attention to the TV and continued sipping your wine.

Billy could hear his phone buzzing, and then the ting of a text arriving. But he wasn’t anywhere near his desk right at that moment.

He was currently pinned up against the glass wall in his office by Dinah Madani, who seemed to have shape-shifted into an octopus, complete with all the tentacles. She’d almost managed to wrap herself around him, pushing her body against his. He was trying to grab her hands but she kept managing to pull them out of his grip. He was starting to get angry, yelling her name and “What the fuck!” in her face, but she was totally ignoring him - it was like she’d gone feral. He was trying his best not to use his full strength against her, but he was about two seconds away from completely losing his temper.

She managed to get her mouth onto his at one point while he was busy trying to grab her hands, but he twisted his head away. His shirt was hanging half-open, mostly untucked from his trousers, tie loose and pulled askew round his neck, then he felt her hand against his stomach, fumbling for his trouser button. A moment later, she’d managed to get it undone and began pulling his zip down, trying to slip her fingers inside the top of his boxer briefs. That was it for Billy, he was seriously not into this. He bared his teeth in a snarl and grabbed her wrist, twisting it up and around quite viciously into an armlock.

Grasping her other hand, which had been inside his shirt stroking his chest, he shoved her away from him and she lost her balance, tumbling onto her ass on the floor. Billy still stood against the window, getting his breath back and his temper in check, then he walked round her and into his en-suite.

He stripped off his wrecked shirt and dumped it on the floor, grabbing an Anvil hoodie from a drawer in the unit next to the sink and pulling it on over his head. He exchanged his trousers and shoes for tracksuit bottoms and trainers, took a deep breath and walked back out into the main office.

Madani was sitting on one of the chairs, head in hands, her fingers carding through her hair. She looked up and glared at him as she heard him walk through, but didn’t say anything. Billy had something to say though.

“I can’t believe what you just did, Dinah!!! What the fuck is wrong with you? If it was the other way round, you’d slap me with a sexual harassment charge so fast I’d get a nosebleed!”

Her eyes teared up, but she blinked them back fiercely. “What is wrong with me? Ask yourself the same question! You lead me on, make me think it was going somewhere, then drop me like a hot potato the minute you meet your little coffee queen? And now you’ve humiliated me. You’re such a bastard, Russo!”

He perched on the edge of his desk, looking over at her, “I humiliated you? How? - cos I wouldn’t fuck you when you just threw yourself at me?” He folded his arms over his chest.

“And I already apologised for maybe sending mixed messages. But you also carry some of the blame, Dinah, you assumed things based on a couple of lunches and a drink one night in a bar.” “And a kiss after that drink!” she bit back at him. He scoffed, “Fuck! Are you in junior high or somethin’?” Putting on a high-pitched voice, “He kissed me, mommy, so now we’re gettin’ married!”

He continued, back to his normal voice, “You’re being ridiculous and you know it. Listen, I’ll forget this whole thing ever happened if you get your damn head back on straight and focus your attention back onto the fucking case, instead of what I got inside my trousers!”

She stood up, “Fuck you, Russo! You know what, yes! Let’s get this case closed, then I won’t have to see your sorry ass ever again!” Looking around for her bag, she grabbed it off the floor and headed to the door. Billy, meanwhile, chuckled, “Now, Dinah... you’ve never seen my ass.”

She flipped him the finger with real feeling, and left.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy was driving over to her place, and he dropped her a text saying he was nearly there. He hadn’t called her back, because he wanted to tell her face-to-face about what happened earlier with Dinah. It wasn’t something you talked about on the phone. He still couldn’t quite get his head round how desperate Madani had been, clawing at his clothes and her hands and mouth all over him. Now he guessed he knew what it felt like to be treated like a piece of meat, and at least had the decency to feel some personal guilt.

It was pretty much how he’d treated women all his life, if he was being honest. He wondered if not having a mother around, someone who would’ve loved and nurtured and cared for him, had contributed to his “fuck ‘em and leave ‘em” attitude to women. Who knew?

He sighed, knowing his girl was going to be really fucked off when he told her about it, and he only hoped that - coming so soon after the lunch date thing - she believed him when he said he’d shut her down as quickly as he could. Should he stop and buy her some flowers or something? Nah. That might just make him look guilty.

As he drove, the thought came unbidden into his mind that the Dinah thing was something that Previous Billy Russo would’ve just sat back and let happen. And enjoyed it. He started quietly laughing at himself, shit... he was screwed.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d just poured yourself another glass of wine when your phone chimed.

Picking it up, you saw it was a text from Billy... “Nearly at your place, angel. Any food going? ;) 😘”

You laughed, he really was a cheeky big devil. But, nah, no home cooking tonight Russo, you thought, I’m too frazzled after today. So you grabbed a menu from your local Thai and called them with an order of two portions of green curry, fragrant rice and some sides to be delivered in about twenty minutes.

Opening the door to Billy a few minutes later, you grabbed him into a bear hug and just rested your head on his chest. Not that he wasn’t enjoying it, but Billy knew this wasn’t ‘you’. You’d told him you didn’t ever want to be seen as ‘too clingy’ with your men. He’d told you at the time that you could cling to any part of his body you wanted to, for as long as you wanted to.

Taking hold of your arms, he gently moved you back so he could see you properly, “Hey, hey... you OK, angel?” You gulped a bit and nodded, then headed away to get a wine glass for him. Now he was here, you actually felt quite weepy, but you weren’t about to start blubbering like a big adult baby in front of him.

Billy closed your apartment door behind him, and followed you to the kitchen area. You saw him looking past you at the cooker and you laughed, instantly cheered up. “Sorry, Billy. No food, couldn’t be bothered.” His ‘disappointed puppy’ face was something to see. You poured him some wine, “Don’t worry darling, some Thai is on its way to us, should be here in about 15.” “Thank fuck for that, sweetheart, I’m absolutely starvin’!” he smiled down at you. Handing him the glass, you moved back to the sofa, collapsing onto it with a sigh.

Billy joined you, putting his glass on the coffee table and reaching down to take his trainers and socks off. He swung his legs up and his bare feet landed in your lap. You started tugging at his toes a little, and he picked his wine glass back up and took a sip. “Mmhm, that is a good red wine. And that,” he wiggled his toes against your fingers as you stroked them, “...is heavenly.” “It’s all the nerve endings. There’s so many of them in your feet.” He nodded, smirking, “But not as many as in another part of me.”

You laughed, untangling your fingers from his toes and reaching over to run them through his hair, “Food first, tiger.” He laid his hand over yours as you rested it on the back of his neck, sighing, “Yeah, okayyy... I won’t argue with you about it this time.”

Your buzzer sounded just then, and you collected the food from the delivery guy, then took it all over to the coffee table. Picking up cutlery and napkins from the kitchen, you and Billy proceeded to demolish the delicious Thai meal and then both collapsed back against the sofa. “That was...” Billy groaned and stretched, “...wonderful.” He reached for you, pulling you against him, kissing you lazily, softly. “Mmm. You know you didn’t kiss me when I got here? But I’ll let you off,” he smiled at you, but the smile faded almost immediately . He suddenly sat up, as if he was going to make a break for the door.

You felt a bit spooked by this - you’d just decided that second you were going to tell him about your ‘stalker’ - and it was almost as if he’d guessed you had something uncomfortable to say.

Looking across at him, you cleared your throat, feeling nervous for some reason. You noticed Billy had the same nervous look on his face you were sure you had on yours.

“Billy...” he was staring at you, “Madani came to the café today. Twice in fact.” His mouth dropped. You carried on quickly, “The first time she just had a coffee and left. In fact I wasn’t even 100% sure it was her. It was though, she came back later under the pretence of interviewing me to find out how us knowing each other would ‘impact’ her case.” You reached over and took his hand, he was still staring at you, amazed look on his face. “Then she just couldn’t help herself, she told me you two were seeing each other - dating, she said!”

He was shaking his head, “Nuh-uh, no! We were never....” You interrupted him, “I know. Look, Billy, I set her straight. Told her that was before you met me, and... and all that stuff with her was in the past.” A small grin appeared on his face, and you continued, “I hope I wasn’t out of line saying that.” He stroked your hand, “You definitely weren’t.” “But I didn’t tell her why you’d been... so friendly... with her. She wasn’t happy, Billy, like really not happy. Stormed off without saying another word.”

Billy was nodding to himself, “All makes sense now.” He looked over at you, eyes wide, “Got a visit from her too, must’ve been after she’d been to see you.” He took a deep breath, “Look, you’re not gonna like this, but please just hear me out.”

Your stomach dropped, you really didn’t like where this was heading. What had that crazy woman got up to with Billy?

“She came to Anvil, and... and, well she basically jumped me. Just walked in, didn’t say a word, tryin’ to get my clothes off, hands everywhere. I tried to grab her hands but didn’t wanna go over the top.” You were still holding hands, and he intertwined his fingers with yours, gazing deep into your eyes. “She went for my zip and that was it, got her in an armlock and threw her off me. She fell over on her ass.”

He was surprised when you burst out laughing. That was a much better reaction than he’d been expecting. “Oh I’d’ve paid good money to see that,” you said, trying to catch your breath, “Billy, I think she’s lost it. Gone a bit nuts with jealousy over you. Your male ego must be totally preening right now.” He smirked, but then got serious again. “No, actually it’s not... it’s just made me feel guilty. About how I had a “one and done” approach with women up till now. Got a dose of my own medicine, angel.”

“Treating people like sex objects, you mean? I’m sure most of us have done that at some point. Maybe you more than most,” you shrugged. “But have you turned over a new leaf, Billy Russo?” you asked, hand going to his bristly cheek. He nodded slowly, “ Yes I have, ma’am. Ever since I met you,” leaning in and kissing you. Your arms went round his neck, and you kissed him back hard. He whispered, “I was really afraid to tell you about it. Thought you wouldn’t believe me.”

You whispered back, “I don’t really know why, but I trust you, Billy. Don’t make me regret it.” “I promise you I won’t.”

You slid your hands under the hem of his hoodie, “Moving right along, Russo... I hope you don’t mind if I treat you like a sex object for the rest of the night.” His eyes twinkled at you as he said, “Oh, well, gee I might need to get my union rep involved.”

You slid your hands further up his chest, and reached up to kiss that sensual mouth of his. Then you sat up and took your bra off from under your t-shirt, dropping it on the floor before climbing onto him. You shimmied your leggings down your thighs slightly, and rubbed your body along his. Bill’s eyes were as wide as the moon, watching to see what you were going to do to him.

One of your hands went to the waistband of his tracksuit but then you paused, “D’you want me to stop, Billy?” Despite your earlier joke, you were aware that Madani had just invaded his personal space and not in a good way. His dark chocolate eyes were gazing into yours, and shaking his head he stuttered, “N-no.”

So your hand continued its journey southward underneath his boxer briefs, and soon it was happily wrapped around his velvety length. He gave a deep groan, one hand going to your hip, the other to your clit. You really weren’t in the mood for foreplay. After the events of the day you just wanted to feel Billy inside you, making you feel good and driving away any remaining thoughts or insecurities you might have about Madani.

The fact that you both still had your clothes on was exciting you as it made it seem like you two were having an illicit encounter. You pushed Billy’s tracksuit and briefs down to mid-thigh, revealing him in all his glory. Knowing you were more than ready for him, you gave him a couple of firm strokes and then guided his cock between your legs and put his tip straight inside you.

Billy gave a surprised gasp, but then thrust up into you as you rode him. “Uhh...” he groaned, then managed to say, “...no condom.” “Fuck it,” you whispered back, “...it’s fine, don’t worry.” You loved the view you had of him, hair in disarray where you’d been running one hand through it and those dark eyes of his on you, always on you. You felt him deep inside you and clenched around him, making his eyes close in pleasure and a long low groan escape his lips. His hand gripped your hip, his other hand massaging your breast and palming your nipple, making you gasp.

You stepped up your pace, riding him like you were about to ride off into the sunset. He was making a lot of noise you noticed, crying out and groaning, almost whimpering, so you leant over and whispered “Puppy” into his ear. As expected he laughed but then smacked your behind, quite hard, making you yell “Ow!!!” You gripped him extra firmly in retaliation and he howled, “Okay, okay, I surrender! I can’t last much longer anyhow....” and he did come shortly after that, huffing out a big breath, fingers digging into your hips and his own thrusting up to meet yours. He then made sure you climaxed, staying inside you, stroking your pussy before moving his thumb to your clit and pleasuring you until you came.

You lay in each other’s arms, in that post-sex blissful state. Billy’s nose was buried in your hair as it lay against your shoulder, and you could feel him rubbing it back and forward, tangling up in your hair and gliding across your skin too.

You heard a massive sigh, his chest rising and falling. “Billy?” you murmured, “You OK?” He sat up a bit and propped his head up on his elbow, gazing at you. He gave a quiet laugh, “No, I’m not. In fact, I’m really fucked.” You sat up too. “Well, yes so am I, if you recall!” you laughed. Reaching out, you stroked the hair on his chest, between his pecs.

“But, seriously, what d’you mean, Billy?”

His eyes looked huge as he gazed at you, “I, uh... think I’ve fallen in love with you.” He stroked your cheek, “And it scares the shit out of me.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Additional A/N: In case you hadn’t guessed, this my imaginary ‘Real Love for Russo’ AU ☺️

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane

#ben barnes #billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo fanfiction #billy russo imagine

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achliegh · 3 years

Text

Golden

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THANK :)

Yeehaw Leo… it's all because this song came on one day (I don’t even really listen to country anymore so it really is fate). Leo is based off that song, each chapter is going to be based off a yeehaw song too.

Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Beta: @the-most-slyterin-hufflepuff & @punkkkboi

TW/CW: Smut, terrible yeehaw sayings and jokes, injuries, mentions of past death/suicide, minor character death, underage drinking, mentions of past arrests, cringe

Chapter Songs (listening in order is recommended):

Chapter 13:

Anchors Away

Clay was bored, wandering around the mall with nothing to do. Thomas was at practice, Noelle was at work at the aquarium. He was alone again and he really didn’t like it. Leo was busy cleaning the apartment for his mom who is showing up later tonight and Reg was hanging out at the rink.

Clay thought about going to the rink but everytime he goes for longer than 20 minutes he gets a head cold. He was walking past a recently closed store and heard faint music coming from inside. He walked in and noticed a small table set up with two men who were jokingly singing along to the song.

Clay took note of all the posters around the small store.

‘Feeling like you need a purpose in life?’ Yeah, he does. Everyone around him is doing actual things with their lives. Reg has started going to art school for errotic photography and portraits. Leo has been selling horses over video calls with rich clients and helping his mother set up times for the clients to go down and visit the horses at the ranch. Obviously, the hockey boys are playing hockey. Noelle is a year away from graduating and was recently promoted, and Clay just kind of existed…

Leo jokingly called him a houseboy when he mentioned how he just stays at home and cleans, now that's all he is ever called by Leo and Reg and it really makes Clay feel worthless. He knows they don’t mean anything by it but…. It still stings.

He moves on to the next poster. “Want financial benefits, healthcare, and more?”

That would be nice, to make his own money for once instead of his parents randomly filling his account with too much money. Something he knows he shouldn’t complain about but he wants to make a name for himself.

‘Join the U.S Navy.’ He paused, he doesn’t know a lot about his birth family, but he does know they were in the military. He has no clue which branch and he knows if he asked his parents they would help him in a heartbeat. But maybe this was a way to find out on his own.

He left the mall feeling lighter, a pep in his step.

He just enlisted in the navy. He was going to make something of himself and maybe even feel like he isn’t just watching his friends and partners pass him by.

Then it hit him, the one thing Leo and him promised each other they would never do is join the military. Because they both know how it fucks people up. Leo lost his uncle, and Clay’s dad lost his own father to PTSD from not having proper care after. Maybe he just screwed up…. But there was no going back now. He wouldn’t.

Walking in the house, Noelle was looking beautiful. She was wearing a pair of sweats rolled up twice at the waist and one of Clay’s old ratty t-shirts. Her curly hair was in her normal ponytail and she was putting on her sneakers. She looked tired from work.

Earlier in the week when Clay and Leo announced Eloise was coming to visit for a few days Noelle started stressing immediately. She has always worried about meeting parents because they always seem to dislike her when they first lay eyes on her, she blames it on her chronic RBF. Clay reassured her that Eloise would love her and actually already loves her from all the stories Clay has told her on her weekly calls.

Eloise was coming tonight, fuck! It was his birthday today and he forgot to mention it! Oops...

Thomas was sitting next to her, freshly showered in his own sweats and t-shirt looking relaxed, he was wearing some socks with little hamsters on them that Clay found for him a while ago. It made his heart jump and he felt his face stretch into a smile. He was scrolling through his phone and Thomas’ whole face opened up in a bright smile as soon as he saw Clay. He made Clay feel so special in a specific way, a way that is so different from how Noelle does and he loves them both.

He needs to tell them that.

“I have something to tell you guys… honestly, I don’t know how you will react but what's done is done.” He puts his hands in his jean pockets and taps the hell of his boots to the toe of his other boot. He was fidgeting and knew the other two noticed. It made him even more nervous.

“That doesn’t sound like good news.” Thomas looks at him a bit worried. His smile was still there but it fell slightly and Clay just wanted to fix it. He noticed Noelle had paused stomping on her shoes, oddly similar to Logan, it made him want to stop what he was going to say but… communication is important!

“Well, I first need you guys to promise me something, then I will make Finn and Logan promise the same thing when we see them because I know I will have to tell them.” He has to tell them, so they are ready for Leo just, not being okay.

And it was all gonna be Clay’s fault.

“What's the promise?” Noelle finishes putting on her shoe and looks up at him. She is trying her best to keep her face neutral but he could tell the wheels were turning in her brain.

“Do not tell Leo, I need to be the one to tell him… and I know he isn’t going to react well. Same goes for Reg but I will probably tell him a lot sooner than Leo.” He keeps on switching his feet that he is tapping and finally looks at them.

It’s now or never.

“I enlisted in the navy today.”

“Okay, Reg and I are going to pick up Ma and then we will be right back!” Leo has been all smiles all day. Finn knew he was close to his mom but this is just adorable.

“Drive safe!” Leo and Reg wave as they leave the apartment and as soon as the door closes Clay is standing in front of Finn and Logan who are snuggled together on the couch. Logan was wrapped up in Leo’s favorite blanket that his grandpa made for him before he passed away. It was a woven blanket with an image of Peanut on it. That blanket has seen Leo and Clay in their worst moments.

He was surprised Logan wasn’t scared of it given his fear of horses.

“Alright you two, I need to tell you something and it needs to be kept secret from Leo and Reg, if you so much as tell them a peep I will never forgive you. That will make family reunions super awkward.” Finn looks up from his phone where he and Logan were reading the comments on their latest tiktok on their joined account.

“Don’t look at me.” Finn raises his hand on surrender and looks at Logan who rolls his eyes annoyed and snatches Finn’s phone away to keep reading the comments.

“I enlisted in the navy-” Clay didn’t even get the full sentence out before Logan had thrown the phone down on the cushion next to him and Finn covered his mouth with his hand looking shocked.

“YOU DID WHAT?”

“Mama!” Leo hugs Eloise tightly as she drops her bags to hug him back. “How was the flight?” He squeezes her tightly before noticing her new hearing aid is flashing is three blinks then a pause and three more blinks. “I think your hearing aid is dying. Make sure to charge them when we get home.” She either ignores him or doesn’t hear him even though she can normally hear him this close.

“Rick was a great pilot as always, even let me bring y’all some moonshine he made. It's watermelon and raspberry!.” Eloise pulls away after one last squeeze and sees Reg and her smile widens. “Reg! I’m so happy you’re here!” She waits for him to open his arms as an invitation to hug him so she knows he is comfortable with her touching him and she does as soon as he opens his arms. Tighter than she did Leo. “Have you been eating well? How about sleeping? Did you ever enroll in college?”

“Yes, yes and yes.” Reg can’t help but laugh when she picks him up still hugging him and sways him around. He isn’t used to this much affection from a mother figure but… they love it.

“I’m so proud of you for following your dream.” She pulls away and smiles at him with a sincere smile and brushes his hair back. “Your hair looks nice by the way.”

“Thank you.” Reg and Leo help her with her bags and pack them into the truck and drive the short way back to the apartment. Talking about everything and anything. The door man sends a wink Eloise’s way and she holds up her left hand where her wedding ring is. Letting him know she is taken. Walking up to the apartment they smell an odd smell through the door and everyone shares a look.

“I promise it doesn't normally smell this way unless… oh no.”

“What does that mean!?” She leans over to Reg to whisper as Leo fiddles with his key in the lock.

“It means Finn and Logan tried to cook something.” Reg whispers to Eloise as Leo opens the door, Clay was the first to greet them, smiling his million dollar smile he hugs Elosie so tight it surprises her.

“Hello Bluebell! I was surprised I didn’t see you at the airport. How are you doing sweetheart! Twenty years old today! You’re all growing up so fast.” She kisses his forehead and they pull apart. “You look good. Your mother wants you to call her later tonight so she can sing happy birthday.”

“It's your birthday!” Noelle pipes up and looks at Clay offended. “And you didn’t tell us!” He cringes before turning to her.

“Oh, I guess I forgot.” He walks over to her and kisses her cheek while Eloise puts her hand on her chest from just how cute they are.

“Seems like that should have been the first thing you told us this morning instead of, ‘ I feel like a jellyfish’.” Thomas laughs a little and kisses both Noelle and Clay’s cheeks. “So cute.”

“It slipped my mind!”

“Okay, what is that smell?” Leo leads Eloise towards the kitchen after she is done fawning over how cute those three are. Finn and Logan are suspiciously standing in the way of the countertop right next to the stove. “What are you hiding?”

Finn turns bright red and Logan looks anywhere but Leo. Eloise sets her purse on the counter and walks over to them, giving them both kisses on the cheek.

“What did you make us?”

“Well… we tried to make a cake from your cookbook-”

“It didn’t go very well.” They both move to the side to reveal a lopsided cake with some diluted frosting dripping off and random coconut flakes floating around on it. “Can you at least tell what it is?” Logan casually turned the plate so the ‘good side’ was facing Leo and Eloise.

“Umm… not really. Do you mind just telling us?” Eliose was examining the cake, trying to figure out what cinnamon cake she had in her cookbook. None that she can remember.

“Something called,” Finn walks over to the book and notices Clay and Reg standing to the side with their phones up and probably recording. “Divinity Cake.” The room was suddenly really still and quiet. Eloise looked like she was about to cry and Leo was just staring at the cake in shock.

Then Eloise brokedown in laughter, to the point where she was laughing so hard she was on the ground holding her stomach and crying. Finn and Logan were visibly confused and looked to Leo for an explanation, only to find him trying to conceal his laughter in the crooks of his arm.

“Oh my god! What is so funny?” Logan looks at the cookbook and then back at the cake. It looked terrible but they tried their best! They didn’t burn the house down at least.

“Oh my lovely lovely boys.” Leo wraps an arm around both their shoulders and pulls them in close so they are all cheek to cheek for a moment. “Divinity cake is usually cooked for your in-laws in the south.. To prove you are worthy of being a good wife.” explains through his laughing breaks. “This is amazing.”

Eloise eventually stands up and dabs her eyes so she doesn’t smear her makeup. Pulling the two embarrassed boys into a tight hug. “Y’all are so sweet. Thank you for the cake.” She gives them both sloppy kisses on the cheeks and then pats where she just kissed. “Alright I’m going to put my things in the guest room and then we can cook something up for y’all to eat.” She smiles and takes most of her bags to the guest room but forgets her purse. “Finn, would you be a dear and grab my purse for me?” She calls out and Finn being the sweetheart he is, grabs the bag and tries to take it with him as he walks past.

The bag won’t budge, Leo is watching with a smile on his face and his arms crossed. Finn tugs at the bag again and eventually gets it off the counter, it nearly knocks him over with how heavy it is. He scurried to Eloise’s room and gave it to her. She holds it like it’s nothing.

He makes his way back over to Leo and sinks into his chest, his face buried in his neck. Logan is still poking the cake, showing off just how gelatinous it is. Clay and Reg are comparing videos that they took and laughing at how they zoomed in on different faces. Sending them to each other.

“I’m sorry we messed up the cake.” Finn looks up at Leo and sees the sweetest little smile, showing his dimples off. Finn has noticed Leo’s tan from the summer is fading and it is making the small scar across his nose more prominent. It was cute.

“Honestly, it’s better than anything else y’all have made. Plus, now Mama can teach you how to make it the right way for the next time she visits.” Leo kisses his eyebrow and wraps his arms around him as Finn pouts even more. Logan eventually makes his way over and rests his head on Leo’s shoulder.

“Maybe it still tastes good?” He closes his eyes and rubs his cheek on Leo’s soft shirt and tough shoulder, massaging his jaw muscles. His arms are crossed.

“We can try it afte Mama and I make some food, how about y’all pick out what you want so she can put on her mini cooking show.” Leo feels the boys lean off of him and smiles as he watches them pour over each page of the book looking for a meal they want.

“Alright, I’m ready to cook.” Eloise comes back into the room and gathers everyone so they are sitting on the other side of the counter, unless they are Reg or Leo because they are allowed to help cook. Finn and Noelle have taken the two seats while Clay and Thomas are on either side of them watching and Logan is in between them.

They all watch as Eloise explains what she is doing in hopes it helps them understand and make them want to try and make this on their own. Logan gets in trouble for focusing on Leo instead of what she is teaching and she gives him a smirk.

“You remind me a lot of Wyatt, you know that? Around the same height too.” She smiles as she fiddles with her ring after she washed her hands to get the rest of the flour off her hands. Leo is watching the food in the oven as he leans against the counter and nods in agreement with her.

“I do?” Logan looks at her a little confused, he sadly never got the chance to meet Wyatt but he always pictured him as more of the strong and silent type who was also tall, giving Leo his extra few inches of height.

“He was 5’10 and the sweetest man I have ever met, he was goofy and carefree like Finn and always had this hard look in his eyes like you do. Unless he was looking at Leo or I, or in your case Leo. Please don’t look at me like that.” Leo snorts and smiles.

“That would be kinda weird.” He turns his head over his shoulder and smiles at his boys. “Why don’t we tell them some stories about dad? I never really talk about him because… well, it still hurts.” Eloise smiles a little sad at her son and gives his arm a comforting squeeze. Her love language.

“Well, he was in the air force.” She notices Clay looking away, Noelle suddenly looks uncomfortable and Thomas looks a little sad. Something was off. “He and his twin brother Wess joined at the same time, and flew fighter jets together. His brother was shot down and Wyatt made Leo promise to never join. After he came back he vowed to never leave again. He kept his promise.” She smiles at the image of him coming home still fresh in her mind. “He was in love with music, sometimes I think he loved music more than us. He tried to get Leo to learn how to play instruments but the poor boy is so tone deaf he couldn’t figure anything out.” She laughs a little as Leo smiles. “I remember when Leo was being taught the guitar Wyatt would be thrown into laughing fits when Leo would play the wrong chords and smile up at him like he just did something.”

“I thought I did!” Leo laughs a little and turns around to face everyone else. “Look It took me forever to learn rhythm, and now I can dance like there is no tomorrow… still can’t sing though.”

“Ahmen!” Clay pipes up and ducks as Leo throws a spoon at him.

“Shut up!”

“Wyatt did manage to teach Clay how to play fiddle somehow, do you still play?” Eloise checks the food in the oven and determines it's not done.

“I haven’t played since… yeah I haven’t played in a while.”

“He was so proud of you. Wyatt was also a sportsman. He loved sports, especially baseball. So when Leo came home and told Wyatt he joined the team, they went out back and played catch for, I don’t know, hours.”

“My arm was sore the next day.”

“He came to every single game of Leo’s besides one, and was his biggest fan. He made shirts with Leo’s player picture on them and wore them to every game. No matter how many times Leo begged him not to!” The timer goes off and Reg gets the food out of the oven.

“Is this done?” He asks, Eloise comes over to check and nods.

“Looks good! How about we eat?” She smiles and has everyone line up so she can dish it out for them.

Thomas and Noelle are getting ready to leave when Eloise asks Clay to join her outside. He gives them a worried look but follows her. Outside is cold, and there is a bit of snow on the railing of the balcony.

“Talk to me Clayton, something is wrong, I noticed it earlier.” She looks at him and taps her foot as he pulls out a cigarette and lights it. “Clayton.”

“I joined the navy, and I haven’t told Leo, and I ask that you don’t tell him either because he needs to hear this from me.” He is looking out at the traffic below so he doesn’t have to watch her face. He knows she is upset with him.

“Is that what you really want to do?” She walks up next to him and joins him in looking at the traffic. Clay has always admired how strong Eloise is, she has been through a hell of a lot and still has this calm and stable energy.

“Yes.”

“Then you made the right choice.” She turns and looks at him, smiling in a way that he knows is trying to hide her sadness. She ruffles his hair as he finishes his cig and puts it out on the bottom of his boot. “Have you told Noelle and Thomas?”

“Yeah.” He knows his short answers sound hostile but he wants to be away from this conversation.

“They support you?” She always makes sure he has support, it hurts sometimes. Like he can’t just get support himself and he always needs help.

“Yes.” She nods and walks back towards the door.

“Then you better spend as much time with them as you can.” She goes inside, leaving Clay to think about everything by himself.

It was dangerous.

He walks back inside and they leave. Noelle turns around from the passenger seat and smirks at Clay. He was in for a fun night.

“I’m off to bed boys, we have a busy day tomorrow!” Elosie kisses her boy's cheeks and walks to her room.

“I like you mom.” Logan says as he tackles Leo to the ground straddling his back with his scented markets in hand. He tugs at Leo’s shirt, he complies and takes it off. Logan has been dying to do this all day.

“I hope not too much!” Leo crosses his arms under his head until Finn sits down next to him and he pulls his thigh so it's underneath Leo’s head. Leo shivers as the cold marker hits his skin and Logan begins coloring.

“What other stories do you have about Wyatt?” Finn rubs his fingers over Leo’s short hair that has really grown out over the past month, it was starting to curl at the ends making Leo look sweet.

“He used to read to me when I was little, then when I was able to read I would read to him until he fell asleep and started snoring.” Leo smiles and Finn can feel it on his leg. “He was also my coach for little league baseball for a bit and he was great but not everyone liked that he was my dad. Other parents thought I was getting special treatment. Also he would argue with the umpires and get in trouble!” Leo bursts out laughing and Logan gorans.

“Leoooooooooo! Be still!” Leo calms down and lets Logan keep coloring the flowers of his back piece.

“Sorry sorry, I just remembered when he got kicked out of a game because an umpire called Clay out when he was safe. It was hilarious. He called the umpire a muppet.” Smiling Leo yawns and blinks a few times.

“You can fall asleep, we will wake you up and go to bed when Logan finishes.” Finn is scrolling on his phone and is petting Leo’s head as he feels it get heavier with sleep. Finn looks up at Logan after making sure Leo is asleep.

“We need to tell him we love him.”

“Yeah, we do.” They smile at each other and share a peck before going back to what they were doing.

The next morning Finn and Logan wake up with a Leo sized dent in the bed and not Leo. They wander out to the kitchen and get smacked in the face with the smell of blueberry pancakes. They float into the kitchen and smile at the sight. Eloise has her hair in curlers and is in a thick grey robe and Leo’s sweatpants because she doesn’t own a pair. Her face is free of makeup and it shows how well she has taken care of her skin over the years. She is flipping a couple of pancakes while Leo sips on some apple juice. Just chatting away about the plan for today.

“Okay so after family skate is the party at Pascal and Celeste’s.”

“I won’t be at family skate dear, I have some work to do today.” She puts the last pancake on a plate, making sure that each plate has two, she takes two plates over to the table while Leo carries the other two.

“Ma, you promised me you wouldn’t work while you were here.” He sighs and sets the plates down. He sighs and sits down, not noticing the other two people in the room, he starts poking at his pancakes with his cheek on his hand and elbow on the table. Sulking.

“I know sweetheart but these people are someone who your Daddy tried to sell to for years. They plan to get two mares and then I will be at the party. On time. I promise.” She puts the dishes from cooking in the sink and fills the pancake batter bowl with hot water before grabbing her cup of coffee and walking over to sit next to Leo.

Logan and Finn share a look. They shouldn’t be listening to this.

“Okay but, just please be there towards the beginning of the party. I want to introduce you to my-... the team.” Leo furrows his brow not understanding why he about called the lions his team, when he doesn’t even play hockey.

“I will try my best, Merigold.” She pats his hand and Logan and Finn make their entrance, yawning and stretching as they walk over to the table. “Morning boys.”

“Morning!” Finn smacks a kiss on Leo’s temple as he walks past and Logan does the same, taking their seats and chowing down.

Later that day Eloise was putting her hair in a ponytail as she checked to make sure there were no creases in her uniform. Well, it's not a uniform but what she likes her and Leo to wear when they go to sell.

A black tall-neck turtle neck with long sleeves and tight to the body. Some khaki colored riding pants with tall back socks and brown riding boots. Professional yet comfortable. She was selling to the Malfoy family today, the father is buying these mares for his sons wedding coming up. She is still convinced that they only want their mares because Wyatt is gone, making Knut horses more desirable.

They were in contact with Wyatt for years and were not very nice. She knows she needs to make this sale though. Walking out to the living room to grab her purse she sees Leo moping on the couch by himself. She sighs out of her nose, walking over to him and petting the top of his head.

“I promise I will be there tonight, with moonshine.” She smiles as Leo rolls his eyes.

“I trust you.” Then he stood and gave her good luck and a hug before walking back to his bedroom… not the master bedroom. She takes a deep breath and leaves the apartment.

The rink was cold, Leo was bundled up in his new coat, hat and gloves while rocking his normal jeans and boots. His brand new skates were in hand, not broken in so he was wearing two pairs of tall socks just to help against blisters. Clay actually owned a pair of skates and has been skating since he was younger because he has family in Montana that he would visit for the holidays.

Jerk.

Leo was sitting in Finn's stall just trying to stay warm while he watched Noelle tie one of Clay’s skates and Thomas tie the other. Leo had to admit, he was so happy for Clay, seeing him with that sappy smile makes Leo know that he’s okay. He never smiled like that with Ashley.

Logan walks over to him, completely ready to skate and looking good. He was wearing his favorite well worn sweats and Leo’s new thrifted sweater that was dark green, showing off his eyes. He was wearing his normal cap backwards and Leo has always found it funny that Logan will never wear a hat forwards.

“Ready to get laced up?” Leo nods and holds out a skate to Logan. “You’re very quiet right now, are you that cold?” Leo just narrows his eyes and gives a short nod. Logan shows him how to lace up and once his other skate is on he stands up and nearly falls over.

“This is going to be terrible… is there a dentist nearby? I have a tendency to fall teeth first into the ground.” Licking over his chipped tooth absentmindedly he looks around. There were kids running around in skates and jumping into other players arms. He smiles a bit and rests his elbow on Logan’s head who is wear much more worn down skates so Leo is a fucking giant to him. “You’re the perfect height.”

“Yeah yeah, lets watch you try and walk. Then we can find Finn who I’m guessing is talking to Syd.” Logan helps Leo take a few steps knowing Leo has no balance at all. In skates or not. He has witnessed this name trip over nothing.

“Whose Syd?” Leo starts walking on his own and feels like this isn’t so bad.

“My oldest sister. Aubry is here too. They also play professional hockey. So… don’t get on their bad sides.” Leo stops walking.

“You never mentioned your sisters will be here! I thought I was meeting them when we go to visit your parents in a week! Oh boy… Do they know about you and Finn?” Leo continues walking after Logan grabs his hand and leads him out of the tunnel.

“Yes they know about me and Finn, I told my family first because… well my parents love him and my sisters all had a bet so… yeah. But they don’t know about you because I didn’t know if you were ready for that.” Leo stops him before they completely exit the tunnel and presses him up against the wall, kissing him softly.

“Thank you.” Leo smiles when Logan does and they pull apart to see they are the last out of the tunnel. Walking out Leo stops in front of the ice. “Yo, I don’t know if I have enough ego to let me fall face first onto the ice in front of a whole hockey team yet.”

“What, you aren’t up for the challenge?” Clay skates right up to him, not as seamless as everyone else but still pretty well. He has this challenging look in his eyes and Leo knows exactly what is going to happen. “I knew you weren’t good at everything.” Leo launches himself at LCay who skates out of the way just in time for Leo to miss and barely holds himself up as he glides across the ice.

“Clay! When I get my hands on you, I swear!” Then he falls flat on his ass and gorans laying down, staring at the ceiling annoyed. This sucks.

Clay is having an absolute field day, Laughing his ass off as he skates up to Leo and helps him stand. Patting his back for a moment and letting Leo get his balance he then pushes him over and skates away.

“CLAYTON!” Leo falls basically into a middle split and it distracts Finn from his conversation with Logan and his sisters, hitting Logan’s chest until he looks over at Leo who is still being taunted by Clay and now Reg.

“I didn’t know he could do that.” They share a look and both seem to get ideas around the same time because their faces get all reg and they high five.

“Who is that?” Sydney is readjusting her hat as she looks at Leo. “He’s a cutie, I wouldn’t mind getting a piece of that.”

“Agreed. He is really handsome.” Aubry nods in agreement and Logan is suddenly possessive. He glares at them.

“Back off, he’s mine!” He crosses his arms and turns his attention back to Leo who is now talking to Katie who has made herself at home on his leg. Leo looks like he is trying his best not to shake from how cold he is.

“You have Finn, let us have our fun.” Aubrey hits his shoulder and skates over to Leo and Katie. “Need some help?” Katie smiles at her. Leo looks up at her and gives a shy smile because he is embarrassed. Nodding she holds out her hand, Katie grabs his other hand and helps him up. With Katie on one side and Aubry on the other, Leo starts more skating and less falling over.

“Awww they are so cuteeeee.” Sydney smiles at them and hears Logan grumble, looking at them annoyed and Finn is still snorting everytime Leo stumbles. But Finn has this look in his eyes that Sydney has only ever seen him give Logan. She hopes there isn’t anything shady going on between those three.

Eventually, Aubry and Leo stake back over to Finn, Logan and Sydeny who are all still chatting on the ice and sipping their hot chocolate that Celeste brought.

“Can I have a sip?” Logan holds up his cup over his shoulder to Leo’s lips, because Leo is behind him, and holds it as he takes a sip. “Mm, so yummy. I’ve never really had this before. Hot chocolate?” Leo doesn’t really drink warm drinks at all, even the coffee is normally cooled down to where it isn’t hot, sometimes iced.

“You should have Finn make you some, he is really good at it.” Finn kisses Logan's forehead and smiles.

“It’s like the one thing I learned how to make properly. Alex taught me! He is coming to the party later tonight if you want to meet him.”

“I’d love to meet him! Now, I’ve met Aubry. I’m guessing you are Sydney? Logan talks about you guys sometimes but I don’t know a lot.” Leo smiles at her and reaches his hand out to shake hers.

“You have a southern accent…” Aubry and her share a look.

Logan is definitely not keeping him from them.

#leo knut #logan tremblay #finn o'hara #james potter #thomas walker #Clayton Bruss #o'knutzy #o’knutzy #lumosinlove #sweater weather #coast to coast

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walkerwords · 3 years

Text

“The Savior Sessions” Part 23 of 33 - Negan x GN!Reader

IMAGE CREDIT: AMC

SERIES MASTERLIST

Summary: You were right in Alpha seeking revenge for crossing into their lands and now swarms of Walkers are arriving at the gates of Alexandria. Still trying to deal with the emotions in your own mind, you are tasked with supervising Aaron and Negan who are to work together. What happens when the three of you get stuck over night in a cabin together and what is Carol thinking?

Word Count: 6061

Warning: Swearing

Song I Wrote To: “My Blood” by twenty one pilots

Note: This one takes place in ep 3 of season 10 called “Ghosts”. In this chapter, we get a better look at the reader’s life before the end of the Savior war and especially what they knew about Carl and the letter he left for Negan.

-------

A cataclysmic event.

That was what you witnessed when they dropped fire on Atlanta. Everything was burning and the air was thick with the smell of hot metal and melting tar. You could still remember the way your skin felt as you ran through the street, trying to flee from the destruction.

That was the first night you finally saw a Walker up close. You had seen them on the TV and images that flashed on public monitors in the heart of the city, but never had one been mere feet away. It moved towards you as if you were the only thing in the world that mattered. You wanted to run, to scream, but you just stood there, watching.

You could hear the commotion behind you as people ran for their lives, but nothing could distract you from the Dead man in front of you. Fresh blood dripped from its mouth as it reached for you. Stumbling back, you couldn’t think to do anything else but examine how something as beautiful as a human being had become...this.

A shot came from a nearby convoy as the military tore through the rubble-filled streets, ending the Walker once and for all. They didn’t stop to ask if you were okay and they didn’t yell at you to run, they just kept going and you were alone again.

As you stared down at the man that once was, you couldn’t stop the thoughts that ran through your head that said, “Perhaps this is next for all of us. Perhaps this is what is meant to happen.”

That thought followed you all the way from the city and into the hills where you eventually met Carl Grimes and it had never truly left you.

Even now as you watched Walkers approach your home in waves, those two little sentences were buzzing in the back of your mind, trying to make themselves known. However, just as you had for about a decade now, you shoved them away and picked up your weapon.

The number of Walkers that fell upon Alexandria was something that you hadn’t seen in years. Being so far from the cities, it was rare to find massive hordes right near the communities or even groups of more than ten or fifteen. However, now there were groups of ten or twenty every time you turned around and you knew why.

Alpha was pissed.

You had tried to warn them when they went over her borders, but of course, nobody batted an eye when you spoke up.

You couldn’t understand how one day your thoughts mattered and the next, they went clear over everyone’s heads. You knew you weren’t in charge, that didn’t both you. What did bother you was that your people had begun to question you, rather than relying on your council. You started to notice it after the blizzard and then even more so as your relationship with Negan furthered.

While you still held a position of respect within Alexandria, you knew that you were looked at differently because of Negan, but you didn’t hold an ounce of resentment towards the man that you loved. Negan was the most important part of your life now and if that meant that nobody looked to you anymore, that was something that would have to get used to.

Especially in moments when you were the only one dealing with the Dead.

Aaron and the others had arrived home in the early hours of the morning, desperate to get their children home safely and when they saw you on watch, they had avoided your eyes immediately. You knew why they crossed over, but if you had had it your way, you would have been glad to watch the world burn.

There had been a discussion, well rather an argument, earlier as more waves of Walkers approached. Lydia had been present in the meeting hall when Daryl had begun questioning her.

You had stayed in the back, ready to jump in to defend her if necessary, but she was handling it well. Lydia had explained that she didn’t think the Walkers were from her mother and that Alpha would have sent a horde. You weren’t so sure about that.

You knew fear tactics and this was textbook.

Then there was the fact that Alpha now wanted to speak to Michonne and Daryl. You hadn’t even volunteered to go with them to the South border because you knew they would shut you down. However, you didn’t mention that bringing Carol was just as much of a risk. While you were pissed and wanting blood, Carol’s vendetta was even more personal.

Once some of the Highwaymen began throwing insults at Lydia, you took her out of the room and let Daryl deal with them. The last thing she needed was more venom thrown at her and you weren’t going to have her stand by and be spit on.

Instead, you began to help clear out the Walkers again while you thought about what to do about her mother. While you didn’t agree with accepting Alpha’s terms and her borders, antagonizing her was the last thing you wanted to do.

If you were going to take her out, you wanted to do it when she didn’t expect it. You didn’t want a firefight or a clashing of swords, you just wanted her and Beta dead. It was that simple. Though, like most things in the fucked up world known as the apocalypse, nothing was ever truly simple.

Negan was not too far away from you, helping to load the corpses into the wagons. You were keeping an eye on him as he worked, but you kept finding yourself distracted as the day wore on. Especially by one memory in particular…

--------

Months Earlier…

“This is either a trick or you pulled some huge strings on the puppet masters of Alexandria,” Negan said as he closed the door to your house behind you. Lydia who was sitting on the couch glanced up from the art book in her hands, something you had found in the garage a few days before and gave to her.

“If you keep questioning Michonne’s decision, she’s gonna send your ass back out into the cold to sleep in the snow,” you warned, taking off your heavy coat.

“I’m not complaining,” Negan said with a grin and a wink. With a sigh, you gestured for him to make himself at home.

“Lydia, did you eat?” you asked as you entered the living room to turn on your newly fixed fireplace.

“Siddiq brought me something,” she said quietly as she stared at Negan who looking at her with curiosity. You gestured between them.

“Lydia, this is Negan. Negan, meet Lydia,” you introduced.

“Nice to meet ya, kid,” he said with a neutral face, trying to gauge her reaction.

“Hi,” she said shyly, folding her legs underneath her on the couch.

“Jailbird here is gonna be staying with us when it’s below zero,” you explained as Negan leaned against the wall near the fire. “So just watch where you step so you don’t step in his ego while he’s here.” Negan scoffed.

“Wow, (Y/N), that hurts,” he said.

“Yeah? Well, so does this,” you said, as you gestured to the fresh wound on your side. “I’m gonna go change the dressing, try not to corrupt her, yeah?”

“I would never!” he called as you climbed the stairs towards your room. However, instead of searching for gauze, you remained on the landing and listened in on Negan and Lydia. “What are you reading?” Negan asked after a moment and you could hear the flipping of pages in the quiet of the room.

“(Y/N) found it in the garage,” Lydia said.

“Ah, Dalí,” Negan said. “I like his stuff.”

“The clocks are cool,” Lydia admitted and you smiled to yourself.

“That they are,” Negan agreed. “How are you doing? I heard life is sort of kicking you in the teeth at the moment.”

“I’m better than I was yesterday,” Lydia said. “At least a little bit.”

“And tomorrow you’ll be a bit better than you were today. Takes time,” he said.

“Nobody wants me here,” she whispered, almost too quiet for you to hear.

“(Y/N) does,” Negan said, “and trust me, coming from them, that means a lot.”

“Why are you locked up?” Lydia suddenly asked and Negan remained quiet. It was only after about a minute that he sighed.

“Do you really want to know? It’s not a pretty story,” he said.

“Neither is mine,” Lydia admitted and then you heard her shifting on the couch, settling in to listen to him.

“Alright,” Negan said, almost reluctantly. “It all started when a man named Rick visited Hilltop for the first time…”

-------

You were knocked out of your memory as arguing reached your ears.

Still reeling from your thoughts, you searched for the cause only to see Gabriel stepping in between Aaron and Negan. Aaron’s morning star prosthetic was already attached and you could almost see the smoke coming out of his ears as you rushed over to find out what the damn issue was.

“You need fighters,” Gabriel was saying. “He can fight, you’re taking him.”

“What now?” you asked, already regretting the question.

“Your buddy doesn’t trust me to help him take out Walkers,” Negan explained. “Though, I’ve already expressed my desire to stay here and bury corpses instead of hanging out with Captain Hook here.” Aaron glared at Negan and you were already getting a migraine.

“Seriously?” you asked Gabriel who was already on the verge of giving up. “Fine, I guess I will play babysitter.”

“Fucking perfect,” Aaron swore.

“Hey,” you said, pointing at him, “don’t break the asshole pact,” you said, reminding him of the conversation the two of you had on his porch before you left for the fair. You had finally repaired your relationship with Aaron and you weren’t going to blow it now.

“I know, I know,” Aaron said, getting where you were coming from, “but it doesn’t extend to him.”

“I never said it did,” you defended.

“You want to referee these two?” Gabriel asked, throwing his hands up in defeat. “Fine, be my guest!” Gabriel stormed away and you turned to both of the men before you with your arms crossed.

“Great, now you’ve pissed off the Priest.”

————

The three of you walked through the thick forest in silence.

Normally, you would have been chatting or joking with Negan about being outside the walls for the first time together, but your romantic getaway was nowhere near as special as you thought it would be.

Aaron dragged his feet alongside both of you. You could hear his feet digging in the mud and you knew he was doing it on purpose to annoy Negan. Jesus had taught him how to move through the woods in silence just as Lydia was teaching you.

This only made you even more annoyed.

“You’re quiet today,” Negan observed, poking at your side. You looked over at him and took his hand, squeezing it a few times before letting go.

“Sorry,” you said, returning your hand to rest on your sword.

“What’s gotten into you?” Aaron asked.

“I’m pissed off, Aaron,” you explained with a huff.

“Well, I can see that,” Aaron said.

“Not helping,” Negan shot back. Aaron just rolled his eyes at Negan’s comment. You pushed on, ignoring both of them. It had only been a couple of days since the satellite fell and while Eugene felt that harvesting the tech from the machine was necessary, you still thought it was foolish.

Your mood wasn’t getting any better no matter what Lydia or Negan tried. If you were being honest with yourself, you just needed a break. All you wanted to do was go away for a while and not think about communities arguing or masked menaces tracking your every mood.

You just needed a moment.

Now with the meeting happening at the Southern border, you didn’t know what to expect. Just as long as Daryl came back in one piece, you would be okay.

For now.

The three of you ended up in a clearing not too far from Alexandria, but far enough to see where the Walkers would be crossing towards the main road that led home.

Aaron gave Negan an old broomstick to handle the Walkers and he wouldn’t give in to your request of giving Negan your knife. It was ridiculous, but you figured it was better than Aaron yelling and Negan making ridiculous comments.

“You have that look on your face,” Aaron observed as he took a swig of his water after taking out another Walker.

“What look?” you asked, unbothered by the blood stuck to your blade. Negan was nearby, always twirling his stick around to amuse himself.

“It’s the same look you had the day Rick and Daryl brought Jesus to Alexandria,” he explained.

“Annoyed?” you asked, staring off into the trees.

“More suspicious,” he said. “Though, I would throw in just a dash of pessimism, too.”

“Is that so?” you asked.

“You know, when I met you, I really didn’t like you,” Aaron said and you scoffed.

“Ouch,” Negan muttered.

“There was just something about you that I didn’t get,” he went on. “Rick acted as if you were some kind of boogeyman.”

“This isn’t sounding any better, Aaron,” you said, leaning on your sword.

“What I’m trying to say is that you always seemed like the black sheep of the family and I think we need that kind of thinking right about now,” he said, surprising you.

“I thought you would be on team, ‘cross the border’,” you said.

“So did I,” Aaron said.

“But?” you prompted.

“I don’t know anything at this point. At least, I feel as if I don’t,” he admitted. “All I do know is that we can’t treat these...people like we have in the past with other enemies,” Aaron said and you didn’t miss the glance he threw at Negan. Negan ignored him, but he was still listening.

“Right, and now with Daryl agreeing to meet with these psychos...” you sighed.

“Daryl knows what he’s doing,” Aaron tried.

“Well, out of the three of us here, I’ve known him the longest. I know how blind he can be when it comes to his family and with Carol hurting the way she is, he ain’t gonna stop until Alpha is dead,” you said.

“I remember how he used to be,” Aaron said, but you shook your head.

“You didn’t know him before Alexandria, before the Prison,” you said. “Daryl used to be loud and sharp. After his brother went missing he became standoffish and reckless. Nobody could work with him, not even Rick. The crazy son of a bitch once impaled himself on his crossbow bolt when his horse threw him off. Then, he got shot in the same afternoon on Maggie’s farm cause Andrea thought he was damn Walker. The man doesn’t know when to slow down.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Aaron asked.

“It was when nobody knew him. Nobody knew what to expect. The only people he was even decent to were Carol and Carl.”

“Not you?” Negan asked, hauling another body over to the pile.

“Definitely not,” you said, thinking about all the arguments the two of you would get into. “We were civil, but I think we saw too much of each other in another. I remember Merle, Daryl’s big brother seeing us work together against the Governor. He used to make some really ridiculous comments, but one always stuck with me. Merle would say that we were ‘just two screwed up kids who ended up at the end of the world,’ and hell, he was right.”

------

The three of you worked into the late afternoon, early evening as sweat bloomed on your brows and blood stuck to your boots.

Negan did his best to take out the Walkers with his stick, but he was itching for a blade. If Aaron wasn’t around then he knew that you would give him one without question.

As he watched you, he could see how anxious you were getting. You had mentioned that Daryl never slowed down, but you never did either. You became distant and restless when you didn’t have a target in your sights. It was one of the many things he loved about you.

After taking down another three Walkers, you wicked the blood from the sword that had become a part of you.

“I’m going to get some more water,” you announced. “Try not to kill each other.”

“I’ll do my best,” Negan said with a wink. You ignored him as you grabbed the canteens and headed into the trees.

Negan and Aaron were silent as they continued to kill the Walkers that broke off from the main horde that the others were handling. Without you to be there as a buffer, Aaron began to bite his tongue so he didn’t blow up at the man next to him.

Negan however, could feel the heat coming off him.

“Are you just gonna keep staring at me or are you going to man up and tell me what’s on your mind?” Negan said, turning to face his adversary.

“I have nothing to say to you,” Aaron said.

“Ah, we both know that’s not true,” Negan said. “You’ve been just dying to give me a piece of that mind buried under all those curls. So, come on, lay it on me.” Aaron was quiet for a moment before he let his anger win over his decision to remain somewhat civil.

“You’re not good enough for them,” Aaron said and Negan raised his brows, taking in the words.

“If you think that pisses me off,” Negan began, “then I hate to break it to you, but you’re not the first to disapprove.”

“I won’t be the last either,” Aaron threatened and Negan caught onto what he was saying.

“If this is about Maggie,” said Negan, “then I think you need to take a step back. She can want me dead all she damn well pleases, but the fact is, she had her chance to kill me and she didn’t take it.”

“She’d do it now,” Aaron said.

“Why, because I’m in love with one of her friends? Are they friends? Because last time I checked, (Y/N) never talks about her.”

“You don’t get to dissect every relationship they’ve had. You are the reason that (Y/N) lost two people they really cared about, three if you count Sasha,” Aaron said.

“I had nothing to do with Sasha’s death,” Negan said. “I didn’t kill her.”

“No, you didn’t,” Aaron agreed, “but you are the reason she’s dead.” Negan glared at Aaron, trying to control his breathing.

“It was war, Aaron, or are you forgetting your merry bunch of survivors killed my men as they fucking slept? You pulled the trigger first. You can be pissed at me all you want, but do not look at me and see a monster when you’ve shed just as much blood.”

“You wanna know what I see?” Aaron asked. “I see someone that's pretending.”

“Come on, man, just let it go,” Negan said as he moved past Aaron, going to follow you. However, Aaron was faster, throwing out his leg and blocking Negan’s step, sending him to the ground. “Jesus!” Negan swore. “Did you just trip me? What, are you? Twelve?” Aaron sneered at him, but Negan wasn’t having it. Getting to his feet, he towered over Aaron. “What the hell is wrong with you? I've been puttin' my neck on a block for you people all goddamn day!”

“You don't give a damn about us,” Aaron said, not believing it for a second. “If you gave a shit, you'd leave. That's what everyone needs.”

“I can’t do that and you know it,” Negan said.

“Because you love them?” Aaron asked with a scoff.

“Is that so hard to believe?”

“Coming from you? Absolutely! They may have forgiven you for all the death and torture, but the rest of us haven’t!”

“Nobody has forgiven anyone!” Negan said. “You think (Y/N) forgives me for murdering their friends right in front of them? They don’t and I haven’t asked them to! Look, I did what I had to do back then.” Aaron was silent then as Negan’s words cascaded over him.

Aaron then tilted his head just as a predator would when watching its prey. “What did you say?” he asked, but Negan remained silent. “No, no, no. Open that up. Tell me why the love of my life had to die,” he ordered.

Negan shook his head, but he took the bait. “Okay. One simple fact. One truth kept my people going... if you don't protect what belongs to you, then sooner or later, it belongs to someone else. That goes for your land, your wallet, your home, your country... everything. It is your job as a man to protect it. That's the story of America, the story of the whole goddamn world. And ain't nothing changing it... not you, not me, nobody,” Negan said, getting into Aaron’s face, but the latter wasn’t backing down.

“Are you saying that Eric's death was my fault?” he asked but Negan remained still. Aaron then shook his head, stepping into Negan’s space even more. “Well, if I failed Eric,” he whispered. “Then you failed your wife.” Negan went still, looking down at Aaron with fury in his eyes.

“Careful,” Negan warned, trying to remain calm, but Aaron wasn’t done.

“Yeah. She died hating you, right? Gabriel told us the story and I know that (Y/N) has heard it, too. Hate to break it to you, but you will never see her again.” Negan’s mouth turned into a smirk as light entered his eyes.

“What? You wanna say something?” Aaron challenged.

“Yeah,” Negan said and then with a quirked brow pointed over Aaron’s shoulder. “Behind you,” he whispered as Walkers converged on Aaron. Aaron took out one in a hurry as another, which was covered in vegetation, fell on Aaron, taking him to the ground. Aaron yelled as the Walker reached for his face, but he was able to hit it over the head with his morning star, killing it easily.

However, something was wrong. Negan was gone and Aaron couldn’t see.

------

By the time you got back to the clearing, it was night.

Of course, this was the time for you to get turned around and have to double back. You pushed into the clearing, ready to get the boys back on track when you were met with an empty space.

“Seriously!” you yelled, throwing your hands up. “I say not to kill each other and they leave me,” you muttered. “No, no, (Y/N) they’ll be just fine, just two people who hate each other. Why should it matter if they both care about you? It’s not like that fucking matters.”

You continued to talk to yourself as you shone your light on the ground and managed to find Negan’s footprints. “It’s a good thing you’re practically bigfoot,” you whispered as you headed into the trees. You were then very happy that Daryl had taken all that time to teach you how to track or you’d be out there stumbling over Walkers and roots.

The tracks were accompanied by another set. You figured they were Aaron’s considering how precise they were. Walker tracks were more random and uneven. They led away from Alexandria which only made you even more annoyed. “Right, let’s go away from the walls and the warm food. Assholes,” you swore as you climbed over a fallen tree and kept moving.

Eventually, you saw a flickering light in the distance. Stepping over what was either a dead Walker or a half-eaten deer, you arrived at a cabin. Noises of alarm echoed from the cabin and you ran towards it, kicking open the door. You slid into the main room just as Negan finished killing the last Walker with a crowbar. You would have to ask where he got that later.

“What the hell?” you asked, alarming Negan.

“(Y/N)?” Aaron’s voice came in the dark. “Negan?”

Negan looked at you and in the dark of the room with only the moon to illuminate his features, he looked incredibly intimidating. “You alright?” Negan asked Aaron who was looking around the room rapidly. You took a step closer to him, confused.

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “How did you…?”

“Your light switched on,” Negan explained, reaching down to turn off the flashlight that was on Aaron’s belt.

“What’s wrong, Aaron?” you asked.

“I can’t see,” he said, looking around the room, trying to focus on anything, but couldn’t. Negan kneeled in front of Aaron who stiffened as Negan got close.

“Flowers growin’ out of the Walkers is hogweed,” Negan explained, looking at Aaron’s eyes.

“Hogweed?”

“Nasty shit,” Negan said with a glance over at you. “Causes rashes, blindness…”

“Is it permanent?” Aaron asked as you leaned against the wall.

“Sometimes,” Negan admitted. “You wash your eyes out?”

“Yeah, in a stream, but I… I didn’t have,” Aaron tried and then you realized you still had the water.

“Here,” you said tossing the full canteen to Negan who gave it to Aaron. Aaron drank half of it in one go, desperate to quench his thirst.

“Alright, come on,” Negan said as he helped Aaron off the floor and you were surprised to see that Aaron let him. Negan got him settled in the old chair before joining you next to the window.

“What are you doing?” Aaron asked.

“We’ll take watch and leave first thing in the morning. That good with you?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said softly. “Yeah, that’s good.”

“You two are both idiots,” you said, crossing your arms.

“We know,” Negan and Aaron said at once and you couldn’t help but smirk at that. Aaron settled into the chair, the reaction to the hogweed taking its hold, but he didn’t sleep.

Instead, he listened.

“Maybe don’t run off in the middle of the night when a lot of Walkers are around, okay?” you said.

“Sorry,” Negan said sheepishly. You nodded to him, peering out the windows, letting your mind wander. “What are you thinking?” he asked.

“What?”

“You look lost in thought, have all day,” he said with a shrug.

“Uh, I was thinking about Rick,” you said.

“Anything in particular?” he asked. You were quiet for a moment before turning to fully face him.

“I lied to you before,” you said.

“When?”

“When you asked me what the vote was on what to do with you. I told you that Rick just decided. He and Michonne had the final say, but that wasn’t the whole truth,” you admitted. “Rick asked me what I thought he should do.” Negan was quiet for a moment.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing at first,” you said. “I didn’t have an opinion right away. I was angry with you and I wanted you to pay for what you did, but I… I didn’t know if death was the answer. I was conflicted.”

“Why?” he asked and you looked at him with glossy eyes.

“Because of Carl,” you admitted and you saw something shift behind his eyes at the mention of the late teen. “I read the letter that he wrote to you. Michonne let me after she had given me the one Carl left to me. I knew what Carl wanted. He wanted the fighting to stop, he wanted the hate to stop, and he wanted you to be a better man. How was I supposed to deny him that?”

“Did you tell Rick this?”

“Sort of,” you said with a sigh. “I told him that Carl had written to me asking me to take care of him and Judith. Carl trusted me to be the protector of his family because he couldn’t anymore, but he never needed to ask. I would have died for Rick and I will die for RJ and Judith if it came down to it.”

“I know,” Negan whispered.

“I thought about it for hours, the question Rick asked me, and then I told him that it wasn’t up to me and it wasn’t really up to him either. Carl had already made the decision. Rick had already made promises to the people he loved. He promised his best friend, Shane, that he would protect his family because Shane did it first; He promised Lori that he would protect Carl and he did.

“What happened to Carl wasn’t Rick’s fault no matter what he thought. Most of all, Rick promised Michonne that he would build a good life for their daughter, and I had to remind him that he wasn’t allowed to break that promise. Carl had an idea, and if we had killed you, we would have been dishonoring him and everything he wanted to fight for but couldn’t. I had to make a choice and for once it wasn’t for my survival, but for securing Carl’s legacy. You once asked me why I stayed in Alexandria when I felt as if I never quite fit.”

“And you said it was because Carl was buried there,” he remembered.

“Alexandria is strong and still standing because of Carl. It’s not just because his grave is there. It’s because everywhere I turn, I see that kid’s influence. I made a promise when I read the letter he wrote to me. I can’t break it now and I never will.”

“Where is all this coming from?” Negan asked. You wiped at the tears that formed in the corner of your eyes.

“I feel as if I’m starting to lose sight of him, Negan,” you said. “I look around and I don’t see Carl, I see Alpha’s face or Jesus’ blood on my hands. I can’t see the good anymore.”

“There is still good in this world, (Y/N),” Negan promised. “You just gotta search a little harder.”

“I’m tired of searching,” you said. “I try to be there for Lydia, but most days I have no idea what I’m doing. What the hell does she see when she looks at me? I don’t even know what I see when I look at her.”

“Do you wanna know what I see when I look at Lydia?” he asked.

“What?”

“I see a scared kid who’s had a shit life and who needs you to look out for her,” Negan said.

“Right,” you said, but Negan wasn’t convinced you were getting it. You then looked up at him. “What do you see when you look at me?” Negan didn’t even hesitate.

“Possibilities,” he said and it threw you for a loop. Looking at him in the dark of the cabin, you could only see the truth pouring from him.

“What do you see when you look at yourself?” you whispered.

“Not much,” he answered.

“Negan…”

“It’s alright,” he said. “I’ve accepted it. You know, when I went back to the Sanctuary and saw what everything had become, I finally got it.”

“Got what?” you asked. Negan reached out and dragged his knuckles along the back of your arm, savoring the feeling as if you were going to fade away.

“That my number was up the second Rick told me he was going to kill me in that clearing,” Negan said, avoiding your eyes. “I just didn’t know this would be how he’d do it, condemning me to a life of self-hatred,” he said with a self-deprecating laugh.

“Why are you saying this to me?” you asked.

“I’m just trying to let you know that it’s okay if I don’t get the happy ending. I was more of a fan of horror films than fairytales anyway,” he admitted.

“What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Just…” Negan trailed off and then pulled you towards him, wrapping his arms around you. “Just be still with me right now. Just, be still.”

-------

Negan eventually fell asleep after you convinced him to get some rest.

You were too wired to even think about sleeping. You sat on the floor between Negan and Aaron, your sword reflecting moonlight across the dark room. The next time you heard a voice, it was Aaron’s and not Negan’s.

“I’m sorry,” Aaron whispered. “I didn’t mean to run off.”

“It’s okay,” you said, reaching up to squeeze his hand. Aaron went to say something else then when Negan began talking in his sleep. You were used to it from all the times you spent by his side in bed, but Aaron froze as he listened to the nonsense.

It wasn’t until actual words were formed that Aaron sat up. “Simon,” Negan muttered. “Si…,” he said again and then went back to mumbling before growing silent again. It had been a while since he dreamed about Simon, you realized.

“What the hell was that?” Aaron whispered.

“Negan, he talks in his sleep. He says the names of his victims sometimes.”

“Simon?” Aaron asked, surprised.

“Negan strangled him when he tried to overthrow him. Simon was the one who ordered all the men and boys to be killed at Oceanside. He killed the boy at Hilltop and was the one who massacred Jadis’ people. Negan never knew any of it,” you whispered.

“Makes sense,” Aaron said and you furrowed your brow.

“How so?”

“Negan doesn’t hurt kids,” Aaron said simply.

“No, no he doesn’t,” you said, glad that Aaron understood that.

“He still grinds my gears,” Aaron said.

“I know.”

“And since when is he a fucking botanist? Hogweed, really?” Aaron scoffed.

“He’s been out in the world for a long time,” you said.

“Yeah, I know,” he said and then, “I never knew about Rick.” You sighed, but you figured he had been listening.

“Nobody knew, that was the point.”

“I guess I never realized just how much he put on you,” Aaron said.

“I didn’t mind,” you said, leaning your head against the chair.

“Maybe you should’ve.”

-------

The next morning, Aaron was still struggling with his eyesight, but it was getting better.

Negan slung one of Aaron’s arms around his shoulders to help him walk as you carried the weapons. Rosita pulled open the gate when you got home and yelled for Siddiq as you explained what happened. The doctor came running down the street with worry. Once he saw that Aaron was in one piece more or less, he took him from Negan.

You knew that Siddiq and the new doctor, Dante, would get him fixed up in no time. After making sure Aaron was okay, you began to lead Negan back to his cell. As you approached the Grimes’ house, you noticed Michonne, Daryl, and a very pissed of Carol standing on the stoop.

“Uh oh,” Negan said as he stuck close to you. As you got closer, Carol shoved past both of them and into the house. The look on Daryl’s face made you incredibly nervous considering he had just returned from the meeting with Alpha.

You and Negan stopped next to them and Michonne seemed to relax at the sight of you, knowing that at least you were okay.

“What happened?” you asked.

“Carol shot at Alpha,” Michonne divulged and you sighed, trying to contain your anger.

“Fucking fantastic,” you swore. “How much shit are we in now?”

“She knew we crossed,” Daryl said. “She knew about all of it. The fire, the blizzard, and even when Michonne and Aaron crossed by the river. She’s got people everywhere.”

“So Carol felt the need to light the fire further?”

“You’re telling me you wouldn’t have?” Daryl challenged but you remained quiet. Daryl shook his head as he walked away. “I need to find Lydia,” he said before heading across the street.

“This is only going to get worse now,” you said to Michonne who nodded.

“I know,” she said. “Get ready for a fight.” Michonne turned and followed Carol back into the house, still rigid from the night before. You sighed, gripping the sides of your head as every fear was coming back.

“Are you actually pissed Carol tried to kill Alpha?” Negan asked.

“No,” you said, removing the keys from your belt, “I’m pissed that she missed.”

AN: Next Chapter is going to be an important one. Hint: Carol becomes desperate and turns to an unlikely ally.

TAGS:

@lucillethings @cameronsails @stark-dreams @amaroho @thanossexual @yes-sir-hotchner @boom-bunny @delusionalteenagewhispers @scootankle @ritajammer21 @writteriguess @tea-atfive @jennydehavilland @waspyyy @yespleasejayhalstead @hoemadegrace @writingdeadangel @huffledor-able541 @pulplorrd @felicisimor

#the walking dead #walkerwords #savior sessions #negan imagine #twd #twd imagine #negan x reader #negan x gn reader #negan fanfiction

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julyarchives · 3 years

Text

Take Me Higher || (M)

You're assigned for a different flight than you were used to, but once you saw Hui there you knew it was going to be a fun trip.

→ Pairing: Hui x Female Reader

→ Genre: Smut;

→ Words: 2.6K

→ Contains: Mile High Club; Semi-Public Sex; Dirty Talking; CEO!Hui; Fligh Attendant!Reader

→ A/n: We think we might have gone a little overboard on this one, but it was so much fun to write, we hope you guys enjoy 👁👄👁

Hui was not a bad boss. In fact, he was the best one you remember having. He was kind and nice even though he was loud and sometimes clumsy. You admired him even if you barely saw him. You worked for the company of the private jet he usually located - at least twice a month and he had a favorite airship, so you were always the same one - and mostly saw him on work travels. He was almost always on his phone or laptop, working nonstop even as he flew from city to city. It was refreshing to see him whenever you did because your company made sure to sell the idea that you worked for the locator of the airship and they were very rude sometimes but Hui treated you nicely, talking to you whenever he wasn't focused and made sure to tip you even if you told him there was no need.

This time was slightly different. You were assigned to a bigger plane, one that could take up twenty people up the sky and still be marked as a private plane. Usually, you were assigned to smaller ones so that got you confused. Once ready to welcome the locator and their guests you were startled by Hui coming in, looking a bit done and tired. He smiled when he looked at you but it quickly faded as he heard the sounds behind him.

"I'm glad the company actually listens to the customers' demands". He said in a playful voice as he stood next to you to clear the path for a bunch of middle-aged men and some young ones who looked just as done as Hui. You smiled politely at the men passing by and just then you turned to smile at him. "You did select an amazing airship, sir".

"I supposed it's alright", he was still with that playful expression staring at you and your insides turned to mush, "I was talking about the staff, though". The pieces finally clicked for you then. "I'd be pretty bothered if they didn't send you to accompany my trip this time, Y/N". Your face hated up at his wink and smirk, leaving you speechless. You did always work for Hui's trip - gladly - but that was why you were suddenly assigned a big trip and ship. The flight was supposed to last at least 12 hours and you were not sure if the heat in your face would go away for that long. Hui smirked again, seeing you gape like a fish trying to answer him. He left you to stand in the middle of the corridor and sat in the back of the seats.

You shook your head, staring at him for a bit longer, and tried to pretend that all you felt was thankfulness for his nice way as a "boss". But honestly, you knew it was so much more. How could it not be? He was nice, hot, charming, and had a way with words that made you bow to anything he said even if it was not your job to do so. You watched him from afar as you checked if everything was in place, waiting for your coworkers to separate the food and drinks for you to serve. Hui seemed tired and done, the men speaking nonstop and complaining about business seemed to make it worse. He'd sigh and rub his forehead from time to time, not even bothering to work on his phone nor laptop this time. You could see he was stressed and honestly felt the urge to at least try to make him feel a bit better. Not only did you have a crush, but he also seemed like he needed help.

You walked over to him with a few individual bottles of wine and a bigger champagne one with a few glasses. That was the perks of being rich and renting a plane, right? You served everyone first, going a bit nervous yourself with how they looked judgy at you. When you reached Hui, he was already looking at you, having been watching your movements since you walked past him with the trolley.

"Wine or champagne, sir?", you smiled politely, fully aware of your extra proximity to him. It was as if your body was pulled to his even as you tried not to.

"None, thank you, darling". Hui smiled sweetly at you and just that made you shiver. Damn him for being so handsome. "Although there is an issue I have to attend. You're in charge of the crew, right?", you nodded, curious to where this was going, "all alright, then if you can take the trolley back and help me, I'd be grateful". You nodded and uttered a rushed "right away, sir", almost running with the trolley back to the attendant cabin. After a few quick directions to the other, you walked hurriedly back to his seat. Hui wasn't looking like he was much patient and the men's voices were only getting louder. When you stopped in front of him, he eyed you up and down and smirked, getting up abruptly and walking to a frame door behind his seat. You felt nervous then, a good kind of nervous, anxious to his instructions and followed quickly, hoping the men were not paying attention.

The airplane bathroom was kind of spacious but not by much, leaving a space to fit two people in front of the sink comfortably but that was about it. You locked the door behind you and turned to meet Hui's form, watching as he bit his lip and instantly put one hand on your waist. "Sir", you let out, nervous about the men outside. "Come on, princess. We can drop the act here", he was still so smug, his confidence making him even more attractive. "Hui…", you whined as he placed his other hand near your bottom, squeezing. "That's it, princess", he stepped up, face now hiding in your neck, leaving small kisses all over it. "The plane is full of people today, Hui!", you said worriedly but even then, you did nothing to pull him away from you, in fact moving your head to give him more space.

"I need you so bad today… they're making me go fucking crazy with their bad talking, treating me as if I can't lead my own company", he half whined half scoffed. "If you're uncomfortable, you can leave now and I'll deal alone. It's up to you, darling". You knew he was being genuine, he'd never force you into anything you didn't want. You have been fooling around since the second time you worked on one of his trips, nervous as he called you beautiful and somehow managed to be dirty and still respect your boundaries. It was a current occasion now, every flight you were there, feeling his touches and touching him back. But it was always in his seat, with no one else in the plane with you besides the pilot that couldn't see nor hear anything. This was very different. You still got nervous around him and acted like you never got to be with him only to respond instinctively to his advances. It made you feel wanted and you loved it.

"It's always fun to try something new, right?", you whispered, fingers now on his soft hair, getting lost in the feel of his body pressed against yours. He all but moaned at that, kind of loud, and that weirdly made you feel hotter in the uniform, the idea of one of them listening and knowing exactly what you were doing made you want to get him to be louder even if you were worried. "If you're worried about them hearing and telling the company, don't. I'm sure they won't say a thing", Hui said as if reading your mind. You nodded, watching him move his head to kiss you. His kisses were the best, intense and strong, matching his playful persona so well. His hands now explored your back and your ass, squeezing whatever part he could. You knew he was in a hurry, worked up about everything and so were you, so you moved to grind against him as the kiss got heated, Hui turning to back you up against the sink.

Your skirt rolled up your thighs and he smirked into the kiss, opening your legs with his knees and grinding harder against you, already hard for you. He pulled back, quickly opening your button-up shirt and you laughed half-heartedly. "You're getting good with these buttons''. He joined in and said something that seemed like "practice" but you couldn't be sure because he was already putting your bra down and sucking on any skin that was exposed, only to trail down to your nipples, licking and nibbling hungrily. You moaned at that, too distracted with his mouth to think about the men outside. You knew how much he liked your body as he always took his time with kissing and licking all over you, but today he was hurrying, showing a desperate hunger for you. With his mouth busy, making you whimper at his ministrations, you felt him fuming with his belt and fly, following his lead and hiking up your skirt, even more, pushing him away lightly to get rid of your panties, chuckling at his pout that was quickly replaced with a soundless moan, his mouth closing with his eyes as he pumped himself now that his pants were down on the floor.

You pulled Hui closer by the waist, replacing his fingers around his member and moving fast, him going back to kissing and biting your chest and neck. His fingers went down to your folds, moaning at the wetness he felt, your own moan matching his. He rubbed your clit perfectly and you kissed him to not be too loud, agreeing in the back of your head that, yeah, he practiced a lot. His hands were making you see stars already and he noticed, so he pulled back, his hands now grasping your breasts and massaging them. He spoke then, voice rough and seductive. "Can you turn around for me, princess?". You nodded, moving on your own. Your hands now gripped the sink, bottom-up to show off to him, at which Hui grunted and squeezed it, his hands seeming like they couldn't help it. You heard him fumbling with his pants on the floor and then the noticeable sound of a condom packing being open. He moved after putting it on and placed himself at your opening, caressing your waist with his free hand. He was so gentle as he entered you, going slow and giving time to adjust, your mouth falling open at the feeling of him inside of you. When he was fully inside of you, he waited, hips spasming from holding back, and you thanked him internally for this.

"Hui, please… move". He answered with a grunt, hips starting slow with the thrusts, one hand ghosting on your perfectly made hair bun. "You can grab it. Please just go for it, make it so good, like only you do", you were speaking nonstop, needing him to be rough and fast for the sake of the situation. You weren't even that much aware of your babbling but it was enough to him, who grabbed your hair and undid your bun, using the perfectly combed hair to pull it into a make-up ponytail, using it as leverage to go move harder and faster, his noises going louder as the sound of skin on skin grew louder as well. You moaned, hands turning white from gripping the sink too hard but you needed to, his position making you move with him, backing it up against him just as hard and fast. You knew that at this rhythm neither of you would last and you couldn't wait.

"Shit, you're so hot like this, princess", Hui said between grunts, "wish they could see how good you are to me", maybe he was just as high as you in pleasure and you were loving it. "Wanna make you cum so bad, come on, princess wanna see it". Part of you thought he was doing it so everyone could hear it and suddenly you were aware of a new kink of yours. His hand moved to rub your clit once more, rougher this time and you moaned loudly, earning a sharp thrust in return, his hips now even faster. You knew he was close and so were you and he almost made you cum with his words alone, so maybe two could play that game. "Fuck, that's so good", you whispered, only to take a deep breath and speak a bit louder, "you're so good, you feel so good inside of me, love it when you fill me up", he fully moaned, hand moving faster on your clit. He whispered a "shit, baby", under his breath and that spurred you on. You moved with him with new vigor, you felt your head spin and you hoped it wasn't just you but as you tried to focus on his reactions, your orgasm hit you with a harsh bite of his on your shoulder, your body trembling against Hui, who seemed just as gone as you, his hips were stirring as he emptied himself inside the condom, hand gripping your hip to balance himself.

As you both came down from your high, breathing still out of control, he nudged your neck with his nose gently before stepping away and carefully tying the condom and throwing it away. Hui moved you carefully, hands now on your cheeks, and kissed you sweetly. Your own hands were hurting from gripping the sink and you noticed when you grabbed his waist and felt a sting on them. He noticed you flinching and you flexed your hands in front of him to show, only to be surprised by him taking them and leaving a sweet kiss on both of them. "You know, I didn't think you'd be up for it", he chuckled. "I didn't think I'd be up for it either", you hid your face on his neck. He laughed sweetly and gently pried you away from him, only to close your shirt and pull down your skirt. "I'd help with the hair but I can barely tame mine, so…", he motioned for your hair and you smiled, shrugging. "I'm used to it, don't worry. Plus, the amount of hairspray they make us use will hold it back in place in no time", you laughed, turning to watch yourself in the mirror you didn't notice before. You put your hair back into the mandatory bun and Hui pulled his outfit back into place. As you were smoothing your clothes to look more presentable, you saw him watching you.

"You know, I used to think this uniform was hot but all these buttons just became annoying now", you laughed, hands behind your back to support you in the sink again. "Maybe we should meet somewhere where you don't have to wear the uniform…". Oh. You shyly nodded, which seemed contradictory, but emotions were never your forte. "I'd love that, Hui". He tilted your chin up with his fingers gently and kissed you once more. "We should go, right?", you said. "Yeah", he smirked, raising his eyebrow, "you gotta go back to work and I gotta go brag", he winked and unlocked the door, going out with the smuggest face you have ever seen on him. You shook your head and followed him out, meeting the gaze of every other person in the plane. But as you saw Hui's face you couldn't help but smirk as well.

Yeah, going out outside a plane would be nice as well...

#ksmutclub #hui smut #mile high club #hui x reader #pentagon smut #pentagon hui #hui #lee hwitaek #pentagon scenario #pentagon fanfic #pentagon imagine #pentagon #kpop #smut #kpop imagine #kpop scenario #kpop fanfic

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thefloorisbalaclava · 4 years

Text

pragma - part twenty one

Pairing: Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales x F!Reader

Warnings: drug mention

A/N: Sorry this took so long for me to get up. But I hope this makes up for the long wait! There’s fort building!

Summary: You get an unexpected invite and Frankie comes along. Things don’t go as smoothly as you’d like but Frankie stands up for himself and for you.

pragma masterlist

You sat on the kitchen counter eating cold pizza as Frankie stood between your legs enjoying his own slice.

“This can’t be healthy,” he said between bites.

“It’s not, but who cares?” You shrugged before taking another bite. You were in one of his shirts since you didn’t feel like putting your own clothes back on just yet.

“Want a beer?” he asked, moving to the refrigerator to grab himself one.

“Sure.” Just then, your phone rang and you hopped down from the counter to go answer. You closed your eyes and sighed before answer. “Hey…mom.”

Frankie stood up straight and looked at you, making a face.

“Yeah, I heard him. Hey dad,” you said, shaking your head. “Is something wrong?”

“Does something have to be wrong in order for me to call you?” your mom asked.

“No. What’s going on?”

“We miss you and wanted to know if you can come see us this weekend.”

“Oh, um…” you hesitated.

“If you can’t make it here, we’ll come to you,” she said happily.

“No!” you shouted. “I mean…I can make it. Uh…may I bring someone?” You looked at Frankie who had helped himself to another slice of pizza and froze in the middle of taking a bite.

“A boyfriend?” your mom asked excitedly. You could hear your dad saying ‘what boyfriend’ in the background.

“Yes, my boyfriend.” You winked at Frankie who still seemed to be frozen in place.

“Please bring him,” your mother chirped.

“What boyfriend? What’s his name?” your dad asked in the background. You shook your head.

“Try to get here early so we can have the whole day with you!” she suggested.

“Okay, I’ll try. Love you, mom. Love you, dad. Bye.” You hung up before anything else could be said. “So…”

“We’re going to see your parents, huh?” Frankie asked nervously. “You think they’ll remember me? Probably not. That was a long time ago.” He rambled when he was nervous sometimes.

“It’s okay. We’ll be together. You’re free this weekend, right?”

He nodded. “Yeah, new job doesn’t start till next week.” You could see the gears turning in his head. “Your parents…” he repeated as you walked over to him.

“It’ll be fine, babe. Come here.” You hugged him and he stood there stiffly before wrapping his arms around you. “My mom likes you already. We’ll work on my dad.”

“But won’t they wonder what happened with your husband?”

“Ex-husband. And they already know what happened with him.”

“What…what if I’m not good enough?” he asked.

“But you are.”

“I mean for them?” He was truly concerned.

“They’re not the ones dating you, Francisco.” You rubbed his back hoping to calm his nerves.

“Maybe I shouldn’t go…”

You took a deep breath. “If you really don’t want to you don’t have to. I’m not gonna force you to.”

“But you already told them I was coming.”

“Things change. They’ll get over it.” You let go of him and grabbed the beer he got for you off the table.

“Okay. They’ll get over it, but how about you? I can already see how disappointed you are.” He followed your movements around the kitchen before you hopped back up on the counter.

“I’m not disappointed.” You sipped your beer as he approached and slotted himself between your legs again, hands rubbing your bare thighs. “I’ll call them when I get home today and tell them you can’t make it.”

“Wait what? Home? You’re not staying? Now I know you’re mad.” He pouted and walked away.

“I’m not mad. I just thought you’d want your own space. You moved back here for a reason.”

“I moved back here to figure things out on my own not to…get away from you or anything.” He stood in the middle of the kitchen, exasperated. “Shit, I just can’t get it right today, can I?”

“You’re fine. Like I said, I’m not upset.” You finished your beer then stood up to walk to the living room and get your clothes.

He watched you change into your clothes and fold the shirt he let you borrow nicely. “You don’t have to leave.”

“I don’t have to but I should.”

“I miss you,” he confessed. “So much. I hate sleeping alone.”

You stopped what you were doing and looked at him. “I miss you, too. You know, I cried the other day when I found your beer in the fridge.”

“Yeah? Well, I hold one of my pillows every night and pretend it’s you. It’s not the same. I don’t sleep half as good as I did with you.”

“Frankie…”

“Stay. Just for tonight. Please?”

“Okay.” Like you could ever say no to that face. He sighed in relief and let himself breathe again, putting a hand on his tummy.

“Take your clothes back off then,” he said and you threw one of the couch pillows at him. “Hey…I got an idea.” He ran to the bedroom then came back out carrying pillows and a blanket.

“What are you-"

He held his finger up then ran to the bedroom again and returned with another blanket. “So…you wanna…make a fort?” he asked seductively.

“Are you kidding…duh!”

“God, I love you,” he said as you grabbed a blanket. He took the other end and pulled you to him then kissed you.

“I love you too.”

“This is awesome,” you said. Frankie’s head was in your lap and he played with your fingers. You believed this type of fort was considered a ‘cave’.

“You keep me feeling young,” he told you, giving you the most charming smile you had ever seen.

“I have a feeling we’ll be building forts until we’re seventy,” you joked.

He sat up slightly. “Really?”

“Yup. Is something wrong with that?” you asked.

“No…it’s just that, well, that’s a long time and I never really pictured anyone wanting to be with me that long.” He shrugged dismissively.

“Well, I wanna be with you for that long. Forever even.”

He sat up, looking into your eyes. In your own little private world, your fort, there were no secrets, nothing you or he were too afraid to say. “You mean it?”

“I do.”

“You have no idea how happy you make me.”

“I hope as happy as you make me. My Frankie.” You saw the tears swimming in his eyes as he moved in for a kiss.

He laughed shyly when he pulled away, sniffling quietly. “I’d never hear the end of it if anyone else found out I cry so much.”

“What happens in our fort, stays in our fort.” You winked at him. “And it’s okay to cry. I’d rather you show emotion than to hold it all in.”

“No one is ever gonna get me the way you do. I’m so lucky.”

“I’m the lucky one,” you argued. “I got me the hottest pilot in the world…and he also works with dogs. What a dream!” You put your hand on your head. “I’m fawning.”

“Stop,” he said, smiling brightly with color rising to his cheeks.

“Aw, you’re blushing. Come here.” You grabbed him started kissing all over his face.

Through laughter and you smushing his face he spoke. “I’ve been thinking. I wanna go with you to your parent’s place this weekend.”

“Really?” You were still holding his face in your hands as he nodded. He scrunched up his face as you kissed his nose. “Thank you, baby.”

“I just hope they like me.”

“They’ll love you. Not as much as I do though. Now, how about we, uh, christen this fort.”

“You mean like give it a name or…”

“You know exactly what I mean, soldier.” You move onto his lap.

“No. I don’t think I do.”

“Francisco…” you scold.

“Ah, that’s a good one. Fuerte Francisco. Rolls off the tongue.”

“Hey, how come it gets named after you? We built it together.”

“Yeah, but it was my idea.” He squeezed your thighs and pulled you closer. “So…what were you saying about christening this fort…”

You looked over at Frankie who sat in the passenger seat fiddling with his fingers and mumbling to himself.

“Calm down. You’re making me nervous.”

“I can’t help it. Do you really think this outfit is okay?” He looked down at himself. You helped him pick out the flannel shirt and the henley under it to make it pop a little more.

“I think you look sexy,” you said.

“I’m not trying to look sexy…not for your parents.” He covered his face and groaned. “I can’t do this.”

“Are you gonna jump out the car while I’m driving or something?” you asked but then he got quiet and you prayed he wasn’t actually considering it. You grabbed his hand while you were stopped at the light. “Everything is gonna be okay. If you need to hold my hand the whole time, you can.”

“In front of your parents?”

“Uh…the last time I checked we were two fully grown adults. And it’s holding hands not fuc--"

“Don’t finish that.” He actually chuckled and it made you feel better. “You kiss your mother with that mouth?”

“I mean…she doesn’t have to know everything I do with it,” you said before letting go of his hand to drive again.

“My God…do I have to make you pull over and put you over my knee?” He shook his head but smiled.

“That’s tempting actually.”

He eyed you for a moment. “No! No…we’re going to see your parents and we’re talking like this.”

“What…do you think they can hear what we’re saying right now? Are they gonna read our minds?” you teased.

“Hell, I used to swear my mom could.”

“You got this, babe. Everything is gonna be fine.” You turned down the road your parents lived on and Frankie looked as though he was going to be sick. “Breathe.”

You pulled up to the house and before you could even get out of the car properly, your mom came running up to hug you. “It’s been too long,” she said, squeezing you too tightly.

Frankie got out of the car and waved awkwardly. “Mom, this is Francisco. My boyfriend.”

“Francisco. What a lovely name. And he’s handsome too.” She shook his hand as you rolled your eyes.

“Nice to meet you, ma’am.”

“Would you listen to that…ma’am. I like him already,” she chirped and Frankie smiled. “Come on inside.” She walked ahead of you two and you grabbed Frankie’s hand.

“See? You’re doing great,” you whispered.

“Still gotta get through dad,” he responded. And as soon as you walked through the door, your dad was standing there stern as ever only smiling when he greeted you. He looked at Frankie, surveying him then stuck his hand out.

“This is Francisco, dad.” They shook hands and your father grunted.

“Tell me, what do you do, Francisco?”

“I’m…uh…I work at a doggy daycare. Used to be a pilot in the army,” he added for good measure.

“Hm…I see. You look familiar,” you father said. “Honey, doesn’t he look familiar?” he asked your mom.

“Now that you mention it, yes.”

“Wait…Francisco as in Frankie Morales? Gabriel Morales' boy?” Your father’s face finally got some life in it.

“That’s me.”

“You didn’t tell us we knew him, sweetheart,” your mother said to you.

“Surprise.”

“Well, let’s have lunch.” She led you all into the dining room where Frankie pulled a chair out for you.

“Thanks babe,” you said quietly as he sat beside you.

Everything was going great, perfect even, until your dad started piecing things together. You tried turning the conversation away from Frankie, but your father is a determined man.

“Didn’t something happen with you a few years ago?” Your dad had stopped eating to look at Frankie.

Frankie was getting uncomfortable; you could tell by the way he fidgeted in his chair.

“Dad, if you can’t remember then obviously it wasn’t that big a deal…” But that still wasn’t enough to stop him.

Suddenly, your dad frowned and you knew what was coming. “You told us something,” he said, pointing at you.

“I—”

Frankie looked at you and you had to look away.

“Drugs,” your father bit out and you closed your eyes. Now he was pointing at Frankie. “Is this who you decide to bring home to us?” He was glaring at Frankie but talking to you.

“That was a long time ago,” you mumbled. “He’s fine now.”

“You get divorced from an asshole just to start dating a drug addict?”

Frankie stood and you grabbed his arm which he pulled away. “With all due respect, sir, I’m not and have never been an addict. Yeah, I did drugs. Yes, I hurt your daughter and she had to leave, but you know what, we’re together now and nothing’s gonna change that. She’s forgiven me and she loves me and that’s all that matters.”

“But—” your dad started.

“No, that’s enough.” You stood up next to Frankie. “You heard him. I love him,” your voice cracked. “And I don’t care what you say, I’ll never stop loving him.” Frankie looked at you as you spoke. “We all make mistakes. None of us are perfect, but Frankie makes me feel as close to perfect as I’m gonna get.”

“I love your daughter, sir.” Frankie turned to your mom. “Ma’am…I’d never do anything to hurt her ever again. She healed me. She saved me and the only way I can think of repaying her for that is living as a better version of myself—I'm the best version of myself with her.”

Your mother grabbed Frankie’s hand. “I believe you. I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen my little girl so passionate.”

You looked at your dad who was still frowning. “That’s all we’re gonna say about it, okay?” You sat back down and started eating again as if nothing happened. Frankie sat, took your hand, and kissed it.

“I love you,” he said as your parents looked on.

“I love you too.”

Getting through that meal wasn’t easy, but Frankie held your hand the entire time and when he did that, you could do anything.

Now you were sitting outside on the patio talking, your father still uncomfortably quiet, but the rest of you enjoyed yourselves. You weren’t expecting him to speak to Frankie for the rest of the time you two were there, but he did and you were shocked by the question.

“What are your intentions with my daughter?” he asked, finally looking at Frankie again.

“We’re just…enjoying being with each other right now. I can’t say what the future holds but I’m hoping she’ll be in it.” Frankie smiled over at you and you nodded.

“If you hurt her, I’ll have to kill you,” your father said.

“Dad!”

“I expect nothing less, sir. I broke her ex's nose for what he did to her.”

“Frankie…oh my god…”

“Bastard got what he deserved,” the older man mumbled. You looked between the two men and noticed them both starting to smirk. So, they decided to bond over the hatred of you ex? You shrugged. Whatever worked.

After a few beers and talk of fishing, they were almost inseparable. You and your mother sat there making fun of them.

“You two are happy,” she said. First, you thought it was a question, but no, she was making an observation. “I meant what I said to him, you were never this passionate with…what was his name? John?”

You giggled and looked at Frankie who was, of course, looking at you. He always was. He winked and lifted his beer bottle towards you. “We’re very happy.”

“Do you think you’ll remarry?” she asked and your head whipped around to her.

“Mom, I’m really not thinking about that right now. We’re just…going where life takes us.” You smiled over at the man who had become your life. “Whether we get married or not, I know he’s the one.”

“I can see that in the way you two look at each other like you’re the only people in the world. That’s how it’s supposed to be.” Your mom had just finished her sentence as the men made their way over.

“I think they’re talking about us,” your dad said and Frankie sat beside you, kissing your shoulder then pressing his head against it.

“Maybe we were.” You pinched Frankie’s cheek and he chuckled.

“Good stuff I hope,” he said.

“Always,” you said and he gave you that look. “We should head home.” You were lost in his eyes but pulled away long enough to look at your parents. “We’re both tired.”

Your parents stood and you both did the same, following them around to the front of the house. Frankie had his arm around you and made a face, making you laugh. Your dad looked back at you two and you think he smiled.

After your goodbyes, you got into the car and sighed in relief. “That was…something,” you said, starting the car.

“That’s an understatement, babe.”

Back at home, you two were under your fort again, which Frankie had convinced you to call Fuerte Francisco.

“I still can’t believe it gets to be named after you.” You looked down at the chessboard between the two of you and made your move.

“You got a better name?” he asked, studying the board.

“Hm…nope.”

“Exactly.” He finally made a move then waited for you.

“Check,” you said happily, sticking your tongue out at him.

“Every time,” he groaned.

“So…if the fort is named after you does that mean you’re like…a king?” you asked, waving the king chess piece around.

“Maybe so but you wanna know something?” He picked up the queen and held it in his hand. “A king is nothing without his queen.”

You get on your hands and knees over the chessboard to kiss him. “Are you always this sweet?”

“I was actually just hoping you’d let me win next time,” he joked, laughing harder when you shoved him.

“You’ve won enough,” you said. “You won my heart.”

He leaned in to kiss you again but stopped. “Is that just a nice way of saying you won’t let me win a game of chess?”

“Yup.”

“I’ll take it.”

[twenty-two]

pragma taglist: @cable-kenobi @saltywintersoldat @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @pedrosdoll @psychobillybunny @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @keeper0fthestars @mrsparknuts @thinemineours @huliabitch @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @mrscrain-x7 @fioccodineveautunnale @gooddaykate @themilkface @ms-dont-care @mus1caln0tes @awesomefandomsunited @seawhisperer @virtualxjournality @badassbaker @lokiaddicted @forever-rogue @sloantravels @javier-djarin @longitud-de-onda

permanent taglist: @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol @tiffdawg @smartsexycalmreflective @cryptkeepersoul @heresathreebee @jawabear

#Frankie Morales #Frankie Morales x Reader #Francisco 'Catfish' Morales #Triple Frontier #Pedro Pascal #headcanon

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brandyllyn · 3 years

Text

In our own image... (09)

Chapter 09

(Poe Dameron x OFC)

Other chapters... My Masterlist

Word count: 2700 words. (Read it on AO3)

Rating: Teen & Up (PG) sexual thoughts.

Poe had a spring in his step when he finally rolled out of his hammock. The sun was shining, the weather was clear, and it was his day off. Not even the cold, watery caf that the kitchen was serving was enough to dampen his mood.

He had chores to take care of. Laundry was a big one. And he would need to find some glue to see if he could get the sole of his left boot put back together. It was probably time to see about scrounging up a new set, but he still felt like he had only just broken this pair in. He whistled to himself while he worked, trying different tones and words back and forth with BB-8 who seemed to find the exercise amusing.

"What did I say?" he asked as the droid rocked from side to side.

"Friend Poe said 'Hi I am sandwich'," BB-8 trilled back. "But Friend Poe is not sandwich."

Poe grinned, re-lacing his boot, "Okay, then, say pilot for me once again buddy."

BB-8 whistled and Poe whistled back, but judging from the little spin the droid did he was no closer on the second try than he had been the first. It was probably a futile effort. He wasn’t even sure he could hear the full range of noises that Kina made when she was talking - and she understood him perfectly fine when he spoke Basic.

Kina. She was the reason he was in such a good mood. After the sabacc game they had stayed up together for a while. Not talking, there was no one there to translate, but it hadn’t stopped them from communicating.

Poe leaned his head back for a moment, closing his eyes and remembering the feel of her against him. The way she had licked and then bit his collarbone and he’d thought he was going to embarrass himself right then. He knew she had a talented mouth, had heard what she could do with it, but having it on him had been a new and delightful experience he looked forward to repeating.

He’d been a gentleman of course. Hands on her hips or cradling her back, her neck, her head. And yeah, maybe his mouth had drifted away from hers a few times as well, licking against the shell of her ear or wandering across her jaw. He liked the little gasps she made, and she didn’t seem to mind making them for him.

That had been two nights ago, and he hadn’t seen her in more than passing since then. Kept too busy by flight schedules and supply runs. Last night had been the first time he’d slept on base since then too. He’d arrived back late, not wanting to disturb her.

But today he had the day off. A full day to do whatever he wanted. And he wanted to do her.

He coughed, stumbling a step and tried to pass it off as tripping over a root. Even in his own head that sounded a little too much. He wanted to spend time with her. Just the two of them. As much as he enjoyed Finn and Rey and Rose and Chewie and Snap and and and and… it wasn’t privacy. It wasn’t a chance to really get to know someone.

Or to kiss them.

He hummed to himself when he got to lunch, dropping into a chair across from Finn. "Good morning!" he chirped, unable to stop the wide smile on his face. Next to Finn, Rey hid a raised eyebrow and a smile, turning down to her plate of food like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

To his right, Kaydel coughed pointedly.

"What," he turned to her. "What’s going on KoKo?"

Kaydel rolled her eyes. "You know I hate that."

"I do actually," he told her, reaching over her to pluck a piece of fruit off of Rey’s plate.

"Hey," Rey frowned at him. "Go get your own."

"You stole someone’s seat," Finn pointed out, tapping BB-8 with his foot in greeting.

"Yeah?" Poe looked around for a moment, "Whose?"

"Mine," BB-8 whistled and Poe gave him a confused look before his brain clicked. He turned and sure enough, there was Kina - holding a mug of something, one eyebrow raised. She whistled again, BB-8 repeating. "I was sitting there. Get your own."

Poe looked up at her, debated moving for a moment. The next available seat was at least four away. Much too far from her. "Nah," he shook his head. He opened his mouth to offer to get another chair but she moved before he could get the words out.

"Fine." The next thing Poe knew she was sliding into his lap, leaning her elbows on the table as she whistled at Finn. "Tell me more about the Imperial connection plates. Common knowledge seems to be they’re AX+, but it sounds like you’re saying they’re BX+. How do they get around the frequency issues?"

Poe’s eyes darted around the Commons. Thankfully, he was mistaken in his gut instinct that everyone was looking at them. It was no more than half of the lunchgoers, two third tops. What they were doing was incredibly inappropriate. Incredibly. But then again, he’d seen worse in the Commons before. Snap and Karé had practically been sucking each other’s tongues off in a corner just two days ago. Kina shifted slightly against him, shooting him a concerned look over her shoulder and he realized he’d been keeping himself stiffly from her.

Screw it. Poe slid a hand around her waist, pressing his nose to her shoulder for a moment before whispering into her ear, "This is nice."

She noticeably relaxed, dropping one of her hands to thread her fingers through his. Poe rested his chin on her shoulder, half listening to her and Finn talk back and forth about Imperial standards. Next to them, he saw Rey and Kaydel share a look and then both women got up, taking their plates with them.

Finn paused in his explanation to watch them leave, then looked at Kina. "There’s a chair free," he said pointedly.

"Yes, and?" she replied.

Rolling his eyes Finn grabbed his bowl, muttering something to himself too low for Poe to catch. When he was gone, Kina turned to Poe, sliding her arms around his neck. "Was it something I said?"

He snorted, leaning forward and giving her a light kiss. "Oh don’t mind them, they’re just jealous." She smiled and he kissed her again.

"I have the day free," he told her after a minute, "would you like to spend it together? Chewie told me about a stream and pool not too far from here."

"I should really work on the DZ unit," she grumbled. Poe had never heard a grumbling whistle before.

"Come on," he kissed her again, "have you taken time off since you got here?"

She seemed to think about it before shaking her head. "Okay, let me grab a bag?"

"I’ll meet you at the shop in ten."

It took several more kisses before he let her go, returning to his own quarters to grab his towel, a canteen, and a bag to stuff both into. He stopped by Ops on his way to the workshop and picked up an emergency beacon, just in case. He wasn’t expecting trouble but you never knew. It would also let him know if something happened and they needed to come back to base.

Kina was waiting for him when he showed up at the workshop, her own bag slung over her shoulder and K-0 darting little circles around her feet.

"Hi Kina," he said, kissing her cheek. "Hi K-0."

"Bad man," K-0 greeted back.

"We still on that?" Poe sighed.

He could see Kina’s shoulders shaking, hear small puffs of air leaving her nose. It occurred to him he’d never really heard her laugh. He reached a hand out to her and she took it, twining her fingers into his as they set out.

The pool wasn’t far, maybe a twenty minute walk to the nearby foothills. BB-8 and K-0 took turns darting ahead of them, calling back differing accounts of where the trail led. When they finally got there, Poe whistled softly to himself. It was better than Chewie had described.

The pool itself was maybe twenty feet across, and at least half that wide. It was fed by a small waterfall just above it, and had its own waterfall going to a stream just below that snaked off into the jungle. The water was crystal clear, but Poe still tested it with a few rocks and leaves, watching to see if anything came out to investigate while Kina laid down their things on the sunny flat rocks that edged the pool.

"It looks safe," he said after a minute, standing up with his hands on his hips. "I don’t think that there’s anything here that will eat…"

He trailed off when he turned to look at her. While he had been checking the water she had pulled off her boots and her shirt, leaving her in some kind of chest binding and her pants - which she shed as he was staring at her in stupifacation.

She hadn’t lied. Her spots really did go all the way down. Framing her stomach and hips, continuing down the outside of her thighs and calves and covering the tops of her feet. He was still trying to get over that when he saw her arms lift, her breasts doing interesting things in her chest wrap as she pulled her hair up on top of her head and secured it there with Maker only knew what.

"Are you done staring?" BB-8 asked him and Poe shot him a look. He hadn’t even heard her talk - wasn’t one hundred percent certain that the comment had come from her and not the droid himself. Regardless, he pulled his shirt over his head quickly, jerking his boots and pants off until he was wearing nothing but his briefs and the necklace he never parted from.

She was already sitting on the edge of a rock, her legs dipped into the water nearly to her knees. She sighed, tilting her head up to the sun and he just stared at her. Flummoxed. The way the sun glinted off her golden skin, her dark hair - his hands itched to touch her everywhere. His body reacted to the thought with enthusiasm and he groaned to himself and quickly slid into the pool, perching his feet on an underwater rock so he was covered to his chest.

"Are you getting in?"

She looked down at him, smiling, and he held his arms up to her. Catching her when she slipped down into the water with him. He lowered her slowly, feeling her body move down his and capturing her mouth as soon as it was within reach. He felt her toes sliding along his legs, her feet coming to rest on the rock. But the logistics didn’t matter because she was half naked in his arms and her tongue was sliding along him too and for some reason that fact was taking up all of his brain space.

He moaned into her mouth, hands clasped around her back. They kissed for hours, days maybe even. The heat death of the universe came and went while he had her wrapped up in his arms. Yet when he pulled back to look into her eyes the shadows had barely moved along the ground.

Poe leaned away from her, holding his hand out as he let himself drift into the deeper water at the center of the pool. She hesitated, hand coming up to the leather at her neck.

"Take it off," he prompted, "it’ll be safe here. And it’ll chafe if it gets wet." He waggled his eyebrows at her as he said the last part, grinning when she rolled her eyes back at him. When she turned away, he saw her fingers struggling with the clasp on the back and he pushed himself forward, his own hands coming up to cover hers. "Let me."

She shivered in his arms and he placed a kiss right on the nape of her neck, reaching past her to drop the thick band onto the rocks. He didn’t give her time to do anything else, just wrapped his arms around her waist and pushed himself back, hearing the shrill whistle she gave off as he pulled her into the deeper water.

Vaguely, he heard BB-8’s confused beeps, apparently that whistle wasn’t in binary. But Poe was looking down Kina’s body. At the way the cloth was molding to her breasts. The hard nubs of her nipples rising in sharp contrast to the smooth arc of the flesh around them. He swallowed, resisting the urge to touch. Holding her up instead as she floated with her head back on his shoulder, water lapping along her body. From this angle he could see what her necklace had hid.

On each side of her throat were two identical scars, perhaps two inches long each. They were stark white against her otherwise dark gold skin, surgical in their precision. He wanted to ask, could feel the question burning behind his teeth, but they were scars she kept covered, hidden away. So he bit the words back and pressed his cheek to her temple instead.

"This is exactly the day off I wanted," he whispered, his toes finding a rock where he could gain purchase and turn her. Cradling her in his arms and nuzzling into her hair. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, her mouth finding his skin, and her tongue tracing along the tendons of his neck. It felt so good. It had been so long since he’d been touched like this - months with only his own imagination and hands for company.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t had offers, or that he hadn’t been interested in anyone. But he also knew his rank, knew his duties. And one of those was that he might need to send someone into certain death. It could happen, it had happened. Everyone knew it was a risk when they signed up - and as friendly as he was with his squadron he kept himself carefully apart from them. When the day came, he needed to be able to give the orders, to do what needed to be done.

So no, he hadn’t taken the offers. Or made any himself. They were all in the Resistance with him. All subordinate to him as well which was its own kettle of trouble. It was just too complicated, too dangerous.

But Kina… he groaned when he felt her nip his ear. Kina didn’t report to him. She wasn’t in the Resistance. He couldn’t order her to do anything - although the thought of doing so had an interesting effect on his body he wanted to explore in more detail later. Any danger she was in here was danger she chose, and danger she could walk away from at any time. He needed to know that she could do that.

In the meantime, he could get lost in the heat of her mouth. The press of her fingers. The warm drugging sunlight and the feeling of weightlessness that came from the water. It was almost like flying. He cupped beneath her chin, tilting her face up so he could thrust his tongue into her.

"Bad man, no eat."

Poe couldn’t help it, he laughed directly into her mouth before he turned them both to see K-0, restless at the edge of the pool.

"No eat Kina. Bad man." As K-0 spoke, BB-8 rolled up next to it.

"Friend Poe do not eat Friend Kina. Friend Kina is not sandwich either," his droid whistled.

"I’m not-" Poe started to say but yelped when he felt Kina’s teeth sink into his shoulder before she squirmed away from him. He rounded on her, seeing the amusement in her eyes as she pushed herself backwards through the water. "Oh you’re going to pay for that."

"Friend Kina do not eat Friend Poe!" BB-8 called out in alarm just as Poe launched himself at her.

To his complete lack of surprise, K-0 didn’t seem to have any problem with him getting eaten.

They spent another hour frolicking in the water - there was no other word for it. Sometimes playing chasing games that ended in kisses. Sometimes floating and holding each other which inevitably led to kisses. And sometimes with one of them perched on a rock while the other basked in the sunlight.

Which also led to kisses.

It was exactly the day off Poe had wanted.

Chpt 10

#poe dameron #poe dameron / ofc #poe dameron x ofc #star wars sequels #in out own image #star wars fanfiction #writing

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ash-etherwood · 3 years

Note

Top 5: writing memories, songs, characters that are not blank rune, runes, food

♡

Linda I love you but are you trying to kill me … that’s so many Top 5’s! But alright, I’ll do my best! (Answers will probably switch between German and English RIP to every non-German-speaker who follows me and wants to read this for some reason I swear I’m normal)

WRITING MEMORIES

5.) The entire time I spent finishing my first (second?) longer writing project It was the year 2012 and it was a cyberpunk story about my friends’ and my edgy self inserts riding dinosaurs, fighting aliens and being badass. The plot twist in the end was that my character was secretly evil and wanted to kill everyone. (Things to show your therapist) The final boss fight made zero sense and also everything was incredibly weird and stupid. But sometimes I still think about those times when I sat in my grandma’s living room at night, eating chips and listening to Vocaloid covers while thinking this story was the coolest shit ever. Truly simpler times.

4.) Researching something about universities in Texas for OvF on a rainy Saturday afternoon I have no idea why this memory is still sticking with me to this day (I think it was around 2016 or something?), but I remember that it was just a really nice day and I felt really at peace at that moment?

3.) The entire writing process of Bathroom Blues It was such a spontaneous project and I still have no idea how I managed to power though it in just a little under two months! Also it was just incredibly fun seeing you getting excited over new drafts and I loved coming up with new plot points and Halloween costumes for everyone with you. :-D Truly a summer worth remembering.

2.) FINALLY uploading the prologue and intro chapter of WWBL Not really a writing memory, but that moment was … so sexy and magical. Seriously, you have no idea how long I had been waiting to finally start that story, waiting for the Steckbriefe to roll in and see people react to the prologue and generally the idea … I even made one of those countdown graphic thingies for the designated upload date! 8D At that point I had planned that story for about six months and just … yeah, that felt powerful to me.

1.) Writing the prologue for WWBL When I first started the draft for that prologue I was sitting at the window in my favourite hotel in Winterberg, Sauerland, wore my dark green flannel, had the window wide open breathing in the cool mountain air and allowed myself to listen to my WWBL playlist for the very first time. God, that felt so amazing. I even have a photo of it (which somehow makes it look like I have the biggest football shoulders in the universe) my sister took that night. God I miss Sauerland. )’:

- - - - -

SONGS

My apologies to every favourite song of mine that I forgot about, I have a whole playlist of them, but I think these are some of my oldest faves … (Honorable mentions for Don’t Mess With Me and Not That Big by Temposhark, Goodbye by Apparat, Me And The Devil by Soap&Skin, Heart Heart Head by Meg Myers, Pain and Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace, Beautiful Crime by Tamer, Gravity Of Love by Enigma, In Flames by Digital Daggers [thanks Phi u_u] and Murder Cries by Snow Ghosts AHHH FUCK IT I could’ve just made a playlist,,,)

5.) Vater Unser by E Nomine Starting off with some weird shit, won’t we? I’ve been in love with this song since fifth or sixth grade, when I was just starting to develop an actual music taste and although I have many favourite songs by E Nomine, this one has to be my absolute fave. Every time I can relate it to a character it makes me love said character even more. (Also I think about it every time my mom forces me to go to church for Christmas so … yay? I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t even be able to remember the Vater Unser if it wasn’t for this song. 8D)

4.) Wires by The Neighbourhood I think this is the newest all-time fave on this list, I found it in … 2015? Thank you, Youtube AMVs. Yeah man, this one is just … on so many playlists it’s not even funny anymore.

3.) Heathens by Twenty One Pilots An edgelord classic but like … it’s on EVERY playlist of mine. Every single one. It’s just so good. The first time I heard it was on the radio tho, when I was having breakfast with Jessie and I forced her to shazam it because it immediately stuck with me,,,

2.) Imaginary by Evanescence My first Evanescence song ever and the first step towards becoming who I am today I think. This song has like … such a big history for me, man. It single-handedly turned me goth in 2008 and I have never really thanked it for that.

1.) Eternal by Evanescence Might be my favourite song of all time. The number of dramatic RP scenes I have written with this in the background … man. Oh, also this song is the reason for one of my oldest internet nicknames, ‘eternala’, which subsequently shortened into Etschuh and then Tschuh, my main nickname until 2017, when I came out as trans and finally found an actual name for myself I was comfortable with!

- - - - -

NON BLANK RUNE CHARACTERS

I know this was probably supposed to be about fandom characters but I can literally not come up with a single character right now that I love with a special burning passion and that is not my or one of my friends’ OCs so you’re getting OCs now. u_u And boy do I have a lot of those.

5.) Jackson Tracey from atroCITY (mine) This little piece of shit kept me company for a pretty long time and is still very close to my heart for some reason, although I haven’t drawn him or really thought about him in detail for a while now. My favourite thing is how I only realized what a horrible person he was after I stopped regularly working with him but honestly good for me. 8D His storyline and personality is kinda convoluted and tbh I’m not really sure how much of it is canon anyway (atrc was always a little weird about canon rip) but yeah. He’s an obsessive stalker piece of shit who pities himself way too much and he is also a semi-immortal demigod who likes knives. I hate him but he also helped me a lot with some gender and sexuality stuff so thanks I guess.

4.) Mayoko Imai from Century Riders DXPrototype (Maus’ and mine) Mayoko is a magical girl protagonist with a cool cyborg arm prosthetic and her main character trait was that she was basically a reverse weeaboo, a Japanese girl who was obsessed with American media, culture and comic book heroes! I actually love her concept a lot and she also had a pretty cool character arc in her story (which Maus and I wrote together and actually finished btw!), although it could use a lot more … polishing from today’s point of view. But I love her anyway. She always wanted to do the right thing and be a hero and got broken pretty cruelly and her ending is kinda bittersweet I guess? Ahh there’s just so much nuance to it … anyways, CR3 also stuck with me for a very long time and I enjoyed the time with her a lot. :3 (Her name had a cameo in Another Incident btw heehee)

3.) Tessa *insert extremely long chain of unnecessary first names here* von Lean from Nobody Is Perfect and Infernal Temptation (belongs to one of my old school friends) Tessa is just … a hand full. I love to hate her. She is badly written and developed and just OOZES mentally ill teenage girl’s idealized self-insert power fantasy, but she just … man, she was a big part of one of my most drama-filled high school friendships which I love looking back at so much. Tessa has fucked so many of my characters … good for her tbh! There are actually two versions of her, one is just a ‘normal’ teenage girl and one can shapeshift into a cheetah, but both of them are very close to my heart. I should really adopt and redesign her some day.

2.) Judy Khayat from Original vs. Final (mine) Look, I love all my OvF-characters and every single one of them is special to me in their own way, but Judy is just … the most complex of them all I think? Man, she went through so much … she is actually one of my oldest (semi)-active characters (I created her in 2009) and her latest version is from 2016 but I should really, REALLY revise her again tbh. She has a very complicated backstory that I didn’t handle as carefully as I should have, and anger issues and religious conflict and depression and PTSD and then Vance of all people becomes obsessed with her for no reason and decides to traumatize her even more … yeah. God I really love her but I seriously need to work on her. A LOT. I should also finally rename her tbh … let’s just see where she takes me next.

1.) Okami (I don’t even remember if she has a proper last name rn lol) from Split Realm (mine) Yeah, that bitch is just my favourite OC. She’s also very old, probably from around 2009, and initially was a magical girl with fire powers who I played in an RP with my friend Flauch but boy did she grow up! Holy fuck. Okami is a horrible person but I love her so much. She is so violent and full of anger and pain and sadness and treats everyone around her like shit and she is in love and she is a demon but also apparently the personification of the concept of Chaos but she just wants to be a teenager again and run away with the love of her life and ahhh it’s all so hopeless for her … also she turned out gnc af with time passing and pretty much went through a gender/sexuality crisis in real time with me, her creator, which is always fun. :^D I haven’t drawn her in a while tbh. Should really do that.

- - - - -

RUNES IN BLANK RUNE

I’m just gonna go with the arcs here, okay? Also this entire answer might look completely different if you asked me again tomorrow, you know how indecisive I am with Blank Rune shit ahha,,,

5.) Jera Look. I know I’m boring and stupid. But I just love Tave and Liam having their disgusting little foreshadowing talk, okay? I can read it over and over. I just love my horrible little shit crime boys. Also Rhy and Phillip are there. (’:

4.) Isa This one is here because it was the first arc I witnessed in real time which gives it a very special place in my heart and it also … hit pretty hard at the time. But having read Fehu it’s become even better now! It’s just such a wonderful, tragic romance between two horrible, ruthless boys and I … I’m not immune to Rhy, sadly. :-/ Just like Phillip.

3.) Wunjo We still haven’t seen everything that leads up to Wunjo yet, but we DO know more than we did initially (wow shocker) and it’s just always a fucking blast. Also, it has the first mention of Ash’s real name … the first Rhy POV (which what the fuck!! I always feel like we had one before but we didn’t!! Wild) and it has crazy blood-soaked murder Tave, my beloved. :///3

2.) Eiwaz You guys have heard me fanboy about Eiwaz so many times already. Eiwaz-OT3 (and Kain) my beloved!!! It’s just SUCH an amazing starting point and there are so, so many things that tie back to it and every time we find out about a new one my heart makes a little jump … und es beginnt von Neuem indeed.

1.) Gebo One of the most painful but also the most beautiful arcs yet in my opinion. It’s been hyped up for so long and boy did it deliver. God, my heart still hurts when I think about that last scene. Also all the dialogue … the golden lines we got … and it’s an arc without Rhy! Crazy!! :-D I just love the relationship between Ash, Astrid and Jakob so much. God fuck I want what they have. Just maybe without the murder suicide,,,

- - - - -

FOOD

5.) Diese Sonntagsbrötchen wo die Verpackung so plopp macht, wenn man die Folie abzieht Better than normale Brötchen for some reason. Most of the time. See 2.) Look man, I just really love a good breakfast …

4.) Chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese topping One of the first things from a certain baking book I tried when I was getting into baking back in 2019. God they are so tasty. I don’t make them often so I don’t get used to them too much and eating them still feels special but ahhhh I love them so much!

3.) Grünkohl mit Kartoffelbrei und Mettendchen One of my favourite things about autumn/winter and one of my biggest comfort foods. God I love this shit so much. I just put … mountains of Grünkohl and Kartoffelbrei on my plate every time and I will just warm it up for four days straight until there’s no more left. It turns me into a fucking caveman. I’m not even big on eating meat but … yeah. Everything is different when there’s Grünkohl.

2.) Normales Brötchen mit Butter und Scheibenkäse aber ich bin beim Frühstücksbuffet im Hotel Oddly specific but that’s just how it is. Sorry. Nichts geht über Brötchen mit Käse.

1.) Chilli-Knoblauch-Nudelauflauf My beloved. My comfort food. I eat it literally every second day. At least one hour in the kitchen every time. Fresh ingredients. My only vegetable intake. And I’ve been doing that for three years. I just love it so much, man. I cook it for everyone who visits me. Chilli-Knoblauch-Auflauf cured my depression.

#ask #crimsondaisy #2.4k works of me talking about myself under the cut rip #thank you tho!!!

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geeky-writes · 4 years

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The Phoenix Project Chapter 14 Preview

Behind? Catch up HERE 😊

Incredible cover art created by @crownofstardustandbone @therollingstonys thank you so much! 💖

********

Everything looked the same as Steve and Tony made their way across the base to the hangar. They walked through the same hallways, passed a lot of the same cadets and airmen on their way back from various training exercises and missions. Even the hangar itself seemed the same, with the aircraft all lined up just like they always were, the din of their engines and the shouting back and forth of the various grounds people filling the air.

If it hadn’t been for the four large satellites mounted underneath the rounded wings of Steve’s and Carol’s aircraft, Steve would have almost been convinced that it'd all been some sort of mad dream.

But it wasn’t. It was very, very real.

He and his teammates were going to overthrow their government.

He covered Tony’s hand with his own as he came to a stop near the nose of his X-302, where Carol, James, and the rest of the A-shift pilots—minus Sam—were already assembled. Normally Tony would’ve already headed up to the observation deck to watch as the patrol group took off, but Steve had asked him to stay until he boarded his aircraft, both to show the rest of the team that Tony’s role was just as important as theirs, and so he could keep holding his hand for as long as possible.

“Good morning there, Cap,” Carol said, her helmet tucked under one arm. Her eyes flicked between Steve and Tony, a rather smug smile playing on her lips when she noticed the love bite on Tony’s neck. “You two get any sleep last night?”

“A bit,” answered Steve, frowning as a chorus of snickers erupted from Cam, John, and Evan Lorne. “Why?”

“Oh, just that Kowalski here overheard one of the cadets spouting off his mouth this morning out near the baseball field,” said John. He leaned closer, lowering his voice. “Apparently he was the one who drew the short straw last night and was out there looking for sympathy. Which he didn't get, by the way.”

“Um… I don't think I get what you mean?” Steve asked. A second later Tony let out a loud snort, tipping his forehead against Steve’s arm.

“Oh, honey,” he said, laughing. “He means that we’re famous.”

“Eh, I’d say more like infamous, as it were,” Cam said with a smirk. “Let’s just say that we heard quite a bit about a certain person’s looks, size, stamina—”

“Okay, that's definitely not a visual that I need,” protested James. “Like, at all.”

“And frequency,” said Major Kowalski, raising his bushy eyebrows. “There was quite a bit of chatter about that too.”

“Okay, but I still don't—oohh…” Steve broke off as the pink flames of embarrassment crept up his neck to his cheeks, along with a hefty dose of pride. Stamina, hmm? He glanced over at Tony, clearing his throat when Tony shot him a wink. “Well… what can I say?”

“Absolutely nothing,” stated Carol, earning an eyeroll from James. “I’d personally be more worried if all you two were doing was just going to sleep every night.”

“Oh, not a goddamn chance. I mean, have you seen this guy?” said Tony, prompting peals of laughter that were just enough to help break some of the tension hanging in the air like a lead curtain.

“All right, all right,” Steve said, holding up his hand. He cleared his throat again, his eyes sweeping around his teammates all gathered in a circle, and ending on Tony, who gave him a single nod.

Call it, Captain, his brown eyes stated.

To which Steve’s eyes responded, Whatever it takes.

“Guys, ladies, this is it,” he began. “All our lives have been leading to this single point in time, converging right here, on this very moment. You see, for over twenty-eight years our country, and more importantly its citizens, have been nothing but pawns being moved across a massive chessboard, positioned to protect the king and queen. Only in this game, there’s never a chance to win because the people who’re playing keep changing the rules. Field borders are redrawn, goalposts are moved, and stakes are changed almost constantly as more and more of the pawns, knights, and bishops are sacrificed.” Steve paused, pursing his lips as he glanced around his circle of teammates, all intently listening.

“Well, the time has come for us to say, enough! The time has come for the pawns, bishops, and knights to fight back. To take down the enemy king and queen and win this never-ending game. And today, we are going to do just that.” He tightened his fingers around Tony’s hand, already dreading the moment he’d have to let go.

“This mission is called Phoenix because it represents the mythical bird who dies in a burst of flame, and is then reborn from its own ashes. And that’s exactly what we’re going to do. We, this team of people who I am proud to call my friends, are going to put an end to the tyranny that we’ve suffered under for the last twenty-eight years. We are going to raise this country, no, this planet up from the ashes of its own captivity so it can be reborn. Because I am taking a stand, right here, right now, to say no more! No more being plunged into the darkness every night, only for certain people to stay in the light. No more denying people basic rights, like a life-saving surgery, just because someone sitting in a chair somewhere doesn’t believe that he’s a person worthy to keep alive. And no more divided societies of military vs civilians! We are all in this together, and we must all work together in order to survive.”

Steve drew in a deep breath, his eyes already fuzzy with unshed tears at the looks of awe from his teammates. “No longer am I going to be just another piece in someone else’s game. From this day forward, our world will be going forward! This is the fight of our lives, and we’re gonna win it!”

“Oh, hell yeah!” cried Cam, pumping his fist into the air. “You tell ‘em, Cap!”

“Damn right,” said Evan. “Whatever it takes.”

“Whatever it takes,” said Carol.

He glanced over at Tony, whose look of pure, unadulterated adoration nearly brought Steve to his knees.

“Whatever it takes, babe,” he said. “We’ve all got your back.”

The full chapter will post on Monday, June 29th 😊

#the phoenix project #superfamily #stony #stevetony #iron dad and spider son #superhusbands #superfamily fanfiction #stony fanfiction #iron dad fanfiction #tony stark #steve rogers #peter parker #parent tony stark #parent steve rogers #kid peter #chapter 14 preview #geeky writes

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wickedsingularity · 4 years

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Home [drabble]

Fandom: MCU Pairings/characters: Steve Rogers x reader (but not really), Helen Cho makes an appearance Words: 1564 Warnings: Injuries, mention of physical and verbal abuse, children being locked up, angst, panic attack, unloving parents, so much...

Prompt/summary: For @cevansgirl's 1500 followers writing challenge! I've done the prompt "I found home in your arms". Just a short story of two people with not ideal backgrounds who have found love and comfort in each other.

It had been a rough mission, physically and mentally. Some old wounds had been... maybe not reopened, but the scabs had been scratched at and drops of metaphorical blood were trickling out. Add to that a black eye, cut lip, sore ribs and jaw, a slight limp, nosebleed and aching limbs, the flight home had been quiet.

Finding a room full of enhanced children was not something Steve and I had expected. We had been there because of an anonymous tip, an old seemingly abandoned apartment building that was really a HYDRA nest. After we had cleared the area, collected all the data we could find and thought we had been through it all, Steve had heard noises. And there, in a hidden room deep in the basement were about twenty enhanced children, all from the age of maybe 4 or 5 up until mid-teens. Locked away to be "rehabilitated" for having powers. We called for backup, needing to get them out of there.

I kept my cool until help came. Talking to the children, reassuring them. The evidence of the "rehabilitation" was visible on them, on their skin and in their eyes. The longer I was there with them, the more panicky I felt. When backup finally came, I rushed out in need of air, only to collapse in the tiny lavatory in our Quinjet, dry heaving and hyperventilating, the nosebleed I got from being headbutted starting up again.

Steve took care of everything and when he came back to the jet, I sat in the co-pilot chair, still panicky and struggling to breathe normally, but also feeling shame for not being able to control myself. Not to mention, my uniform was covered in even more blood than before. Steve didn't make anything of it. Instead he kissed the top of my head, got us into the air and activated the autopilot. Then he found a medkit and knelt down in front of me.

As gently as he could, he cleaned the cut on my lip and the worst of the nosebleed, just enough to last until Helen could take care of everything. When he was done, he laid a hand on my cheek and stared up at me, bright blue eyes telling me everything I needed to hear. I leaned into the warmth of his hand, closing my eyes for a moment. Soft lips pressed against mine, and some of my unease lifted.

He pulled back enough to lean his forehead against mine. "They will be fine," he whispered against my lips. I nodded barely noticeable but felt him smile against me. Then he stood up and put away the bloody gauze and the medkit, and came back with an icepack for his bruised eye and sore jaw and took over the control of the Quinjet again.

In the infirmary, Steve was having his ankle checked by a nurse. It was not necessary in the slightest, he didn't even limp anymore and it was feeling a lot better in the couple of hours it had taken to fly back and would be right as rain in the morning. But he knew it was pointless to protest. And it gave him a moment to look over at Doctor Cho treating the cut on his girl's lip, cleaning it better than he had done and then taping it.

The two women were talking quietly about something that brought a smile to her face and a giggle to come from Doctor Cho. Steve's lip pulled at the corner too. That was a good sign.

That room with the enhanced kids... As an enhanced human herself, her parents had sent her away to be rehabilitated when she was 7. She'd spent a couple of years in a place like that, being poked and prodded, been to "counselling", and basically been physically and verbally abused. Eventually, she and a few friends had managed to escape. A couple of them didn't make it far and that was something she didn't like to think about. She had tried to go home, but her parents had spat insults at her, saying she shouldn't exist, she wasn't right, she'd never be anything, they didn't have a daughter, and slammed the door in her face. Trying to stay under the radar, she and a couple of the kids that had escaped had lived on the streets for a while, until they managed to get up on their own feet. But she had never found her place.

That's how she and Steve found each other. The battle of New York opened her eyes to S.H.I.E.L.D. and she'd enlisted hoping it would give her somewhere to belong. Somewhere where she could use her abilities for something useful. Feel worthy. But it wasn't until she got paired with Steve for a mission and got to know him and bond with him over not feeling like they belonged in the world that things changed. Slowly, they found their place together. She showed him that there was something worth living in the now for, and he showed her that she meant the world to someone. Now, Steve knew he didn't – couldn't – belong anywhere without her. If he woke up in a different world, planet, universe tomorrow, as long as she was with him, he was home.

The nurse declared Steve's ankle well enough to not need a supportive brace, his jaw would be fine and his black eye was already colouring as if it had been days, so he was free to go. She was still being checked by Doctor Cho, who was now poking and prodding at her nose. Steve worried it might have been more damaged than it looked after she got headbutted by that HYDRA scumbag, but he trusted Doctor Cho to fix whatever it was. So, he decided he would go find a computer and write the report so she didn't have to.

I felt restless at home waiting for Steve. The best cheeseburger I knew tasted like cardboard with ketchup and pickles. My favourite pyjamas felt scratchy against my skin. Steve's art on the walls was unrecognizable. The couch felt hard and lumpy.

I wanted nothing but sleep, but my heart rate was through the roof and it was like I had ants in my blood. It was impossible to settle down. I tried my best to watch TV, but my legs bounced, my hands were fidgeting, I wanted to get out. And run, run, run, far away. I kept seeing the children in that room, sometimes they changed into the children I had been locked away with. Everything felt just like it did when I was there. Not belonging anywhere, nowhere to go, nothing. Just get away, away, away.

There was the sound of the door being unlocked and I started, nearly spitting out my heart. It opened and I picked up on the sound of familiar footsteps, breathing with relief. Boots were untied and pulled off. Then the padding of feet across the floor.

"Hi, doll," Steve said, leaning over the back of the couch, still looking dirty and bloody.

"Hi." I smiled, face feeling stiff.

"Smells like you showered already?"

"Yeah. I'll just go take one alone then."

"Dinner's in the fridge."

He grinned. "Love you."

"Love you too." I watched him as he walked into the bedroom, and then I heard him undress and head into the bathroom, starting up the shower. I tuned out the TV and just listened to the water running, leaning back in the couch. Imagining the water cascading down his naked body, blood and grime and soap running down the drain. If I hadn't felt exhaustion starting to pull me down, I would have joined him.

By the time he came back out, I had dozed off and didn't notice that he warmed up dinner, sat down next to me, ate and flipped through the channels. It wasn't until he put the empty dishes away and came back and put one arm under my knees and the other behind my back and pulled me gently towards him as he leaned back on the chaise that I woke up.

"Hi," I said sleepily, leaning into his chest.

"Hi. Some mission, huh?"

"They are going to be okay now." I felt that in my heart.

We sat in silence for a bit, letting the TV do the talking and I marvelled at how grateful I was to have Steve. How I had never felt grounded before I met him, and just how calm my soul was with him. I knew he felt the same about me, and that felt even more comforting to me. Being the man out of time and being reminded about it all the time in so many ways, I knew it wasn't easy. But he showed me in so many ways that I was for him the same that he was for me.

And today it had been my turn to have the old scabs scratched at.

"I want another cheeseburger."

A rumble sounded in his chest, his whole body shaking with laughter, and I couldn't help but laugh too. "You're incorrigible, doll."

"Duh."

Steve tightened his arms around me, still chuckling. Grinning, I took a deep breath, smelling his clean skin, the detergent on his shirt, a whiff of garlic on his breath. I had found home in his arms.

No tags this time. Probably won’t tag anymore.

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nathancone · 3 years

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Interview: Ricardo Chavira on “Selena: The Series”

Below, an edited transcript of my Texas Public Radio interview with Ricardo Chavira about his role as Abraham Quintanilla on “Selena: The Series,” which is premiering this month on Netflix. To hear an audio version of this interview, listen to the program “Fronteras.”

Nathan Cone: When did you first learn of "Selena: The Series” from Netflix? Or how did you find out that it was even happening?

Ricardo Chavira: You know, I had heard a couple little rumors about it, Nathan, and ... where was I? Pilot season had just happened, and I got close on a couple of things. But, you know, nothing really turned up. And then I was working on, like an independent film out in the Lake Tahoe area. And my agent send me send me an appointment. They give me a call and I look at the you know, I look at the appointment, it's in an email and it says, you know, to read for Selena, the series. And I was like, okay, but who am I reading for? Like, just a. Which character? Because I'm too old to be the the the brother. They don't have me reading for the dad, do they? [laughs] And lo and behold, they did! And so I was like, "I can't do this." This role is not for me.

Why was that?

Well because, I mean, you know, I'm six foot one and a half, you know, and and Abraham Quintanilla is is a much smaller-statured man. We're just, we look completely different. At least I thought, you know? And so I said, "Guys, I you know, I just I just don't see it. I have to pass." I don't want to waste anybody's time. They call me back about 10 minutes later and they're like, "Casting wants to talk to you." The casting director for this project is Carla Hool, and I've been into her office for numerous other projects. And I was like, "Fine, have her give me a call." And so she calls me. She's like, "Ricardo, I think this is your role." And I was like, "OK, why? Because I don't see it." And she goes, "Okay, look, let me allow allow me to explain." And it's, you know, playing Abraham over the course of from the time she was young to the time that when she passed, when he first got the idea to get her singing, you know, and the family, when they were in the Lake Jackson area, to, you know, when she passed away, tragically. And so she's like, "Let me send you some pictures." And she sends me sends me some younger pictures of Abraham and, you know, Abraham through the years. And then I was like, "OK, I get it. I get it now." So and we're going through the aging process and all that stuff. And then she gave me information on the director and then she sent me some-- she couldn't send me a lot of script information-- She was like, "You know, I just can't." I'm like, "Well, you need to send me something and I need to be able to see that this is worthwhile." And I got some sides that they sent me a little bit more in-depth than what they were sending some other people. And I could tell immediately that they had some people that were writing on that staff that were from South Texas. The cadences, the just the back and forth in English to Spanish and everything. It sounded so familiar to me. And then I went, because I've never seen the movie.

Now, even?

Now, even! I probably saw some clips of the movie 20 something years ago when it first came out and it was like....

Wow, how did you escape that? Just as an aside.

As an aside, I wasn't exactly the biggest fan of the of Tejano music! I mean, my dad would blare it in his truck every time he'd pick me up. And I, you know, I wanted to listen to Metallica and Nirvana and all that stuff. I had no interest in this, you know, and then when the movie came about, you know, I I didn't really have an interest in J-Lo. I thought they did us a disservice by casting a Puerto Rican when they should have found somebody who was Mexican-American from South Texas. I mean, that was my own take. Anyway, so I never really watched the movie. Like I said, I might have seen some clips of it on Entertainment Tonight back in 90-something. And I still haven't watched it today! But I went online and I looked at some interviews that Abraham Quintanilla had done talking to different talk shows and outlets and whatnot, and I listened to him and watched him and I was like, “My God, this is like watching any one of my tios or my dad or any….” But I'm like, I know this guy! I grew up with like ten of him, subjecting me to all kinds of male macho torture, you know? And I said, I can do this. I'm pretty sure I can do this. And so I said, OK, I get it. I'll put it on tape. And I did. And that was it. You know, like they loved what I did.

I remember you showed me some photos of yourself [as Abraham], did you kind of make yourself up a little bit as part of those?

So initially what I did was I just put myself on tape, just that's it. And then they said they wanted to see it. So, you know, can you put yourself on tape again? I was like, guys, I already did it, you know, come on. Like, I've got a pretty decent resume, you know? And they're like they just they want to see it. I'm like, OK, that's fine. So I got some pictures of Abraham and I just, you know, used a cheap pair of sunglasses from my son's drawer that probably cost like five bucks. And one of my neighbors had a Tommy Bahama shirt that kind of matched the color of the shirt that Abraham was wearing in the picture. And and I slicked my hair back and I just ate and drank whatever I want to, to have a little bit of weight about me within the picture. And it worked.

So I guess what connects with you with the role immediately of Abraham Quintanilla, what you're saying is that it wasn't so much the music or the legacy of the life of Selena right away that said, you know, maybe you want to do this, but that this is a South Texas story that I and a family story that I can relate to.

Very much so. So, you know, look, it's not that I'm not a fan of Selena's music, it's just at that time when she was popular, that's not what I listen to. But I was surrounded by it all day long. I mean, my dad was listening to KTXN and (???) and all that and "Radio Festival," you know, is blaring out of his truck whenever he'd pick me up from school or drop me off somewhere or whatever, you know. And so it was it was always there in the background, you know. And now it's funny because I actually do listen to a lot of conjunto and Tejano music. (Yeah.) You know, I appreciate it a lot. Even before I, I got cast as Abraham in this movie or in the series, I mean, and so ...

Well, that's how we develop musically anyway. I mean, our lives are such that we're like, oh, we get opened up to so many things.

Well, it becomes you know, for me it's like comfort food, nostalgia, taking me back to when I was, you know, 19, 20, 21, jumping into my dad's truck. Yeah. And it reminds me of those times. So but more importantly, to go back to what you were saying. Yeah. For me, the attraction was this is a South Texas story. Even like even though. I wasn't necessarily a quote unquote, fan of her music, I appreciated it, but more importantly, I appreciated what she meant and what her family meant to us. And so what I mean by us is South Texas, the South Texas community. But also what I mean by us is Mexican Americans that live in South Texas. This story is the ... it's literally the universal story of the American dream, but it's framed in a Mexican-American family. And that is so vital and so important to this community, San Antonio, in every community south of San Antonio, all the way to the border, you know. And we don't…. I mean, who do we have?

That movie came out twenty-something years ago. With Edward James Olmos and Jennifer Lopez, and here we have a series coming out about it again, twenty-something years later. In between those, what other massive story has been out there that has told a story of Mexican Americans from South Texas? None.

So you're telling me this is the only story that exists that we can put, that we can encapsulate on film or in sit in a cinematic setting or in a series setting that tells a story about the people of South Texas? This is the only story we have? So for me, it was important to tell the story again. But it's also important because there are so few opportunities to be able to be somebody who is from South Texas and who's an actor to be able to play somebody where I grew up.

There's a line in the movie that gets repeated often. And I'm wondering if this is touched on in the series at all. Where in the in the picture in the movie version, Edward James Olmos says something and I'm going to paraphrase it because I can't read the exact quote. But he says, you know, we're we're not American enough and we're not Mexican enough.

Oh, we hit on that a lot in the series. And not just once. It comes up often, you know, and the idea that it's like, yes, she's Mexican, but she's an American girl.

Mm hmm.

I mean, you know, Abraham was wanted to be a musician and he was playing doo wop music. You know, he would he loved American music, but he saw the ... what he saw was he saw an opportunity and he saw a young girl. And then when they started, they were they were singing American songs. But and what we do is we show this in the series where it's like all of a sudden he goes to a fair and he sees a Tejano band up there playing music and bam, it clicks. And he realizes if this is going to happen for them and they're going to be successful at this and we can actually make money at this and survive and live as a family off of this music, we've got to be specific about what we're doing. And so he decided to hone in on the specificity that is Tejano music. Yeah, you know, and he made it work. You know, it's the thing is, is that the series is it is about it's Selena, but it's also the story that is the Quintanilla family. And specifically, it's a story that is Abraham Quintanilla making all of this a reality.

Tell me again who else was in the cast and what's it like?

And we've got, let's say, Seidy Lopez, who is actually she played, I think, one of the cousins in the original Selena movie. She's playing Marcella, Abraham's wife, amazing actor, like just ... she's got a great stillness to her man, just it's it's wonderful to work with her because I really feel like I work with her a lot as being, you know, being husband and wife. And it's been an absolute joy. Christian Serratos plays Selena at the older age high school and then in her 20s. Gabe Chavarria plays A.B. Noemi Gonzalez plays Suzette. Let's see Julio Macias, who's on a show on Netflix, called On Our Block, he plays Pete Asudio. And then the young ones, the kids, Maddy and Juan and Daniella. Which it's crazy. Working with the kids was the best thing. Like, I like I just I know them from their names. I know them as their characters. They did such a good job. But that stuff when when I was, you know, playing Abraham at as a younger Abraham when the kids were younger, those are some of my absolute favorite scenes.

And you filmed it where, where was it all filmed?

And we were filming in in Mexico, just south of Tijuana, in Baja California. Sorry, guys. Yeah. So and I it's funny because when I first got cast, I was like, oh, this is great. Like we're going to be shooting here in Texas…. And [then] I was like, [sad trombone noise, laughs]. I was like, oh, OK. But it makes sense because you're talking shooting from Lake Jackson, what, 1979, 1980, and then, you know, at the height of her career, which was when I was, let's see, shortly after graduating high school, so from like, say, ‘89 until like ‘91, ‘92, you know, and a lot of that stuff, I mean, that's 30 years ago.

Yeah, I've been to Lake Jackson in the past year or so, and it's much different than it was.

Even downtown San Antonio is much different, you know. You know the convention center, you can't use that facade. So we had to go find a facade that we thought looked the part. And you can find older structures in in most every part of Mexico. You know, a lot of those buildings are of an older era. You know, a lot of that construction that existed back then and the, you know, mid 80s into the mid 90s. A lot of it's not there anymore. You know, or it's or it's been converted or renovated or whatever. So that that probably is the reason why they chose to shoot down in Mexico.

You talked about, how you could relate to, and you knew guys like Abraham when you were growing up. And so you're like, “oh, I know that guy. I can play that that part.” You're a father yourself, of course, too… So what's your relationship with your kids like compared to, say, this part… your playing and Abraham…. and do you do you ever bring anything from your own experience with children to this part? Or does anything else rub off from Abraham to your kids, especially as they're getting older?

I think I think that's a really good question for my children! What do they think about that? I think when they see it, they're going to be like, "Mm-hmm, yeah, we know, we know that guy!" You know, this is it's very interesting. Like when we when there were a couple of scenes that we were working on, you've got these actors that are in their like, you know, late 20s in the mid-30s that are trying to play down a little bit. You know, there's like, say, 17, 18, 19, like when they're in high school. But they're millennials, you know, and they live in this era and they don't understand what the what parenting and, you know, parent child relationships were like back then. And it's that thing of like, you know, when your dad says, get off the phone, you get off the phone and then go even further where it's like it's one phone and it's attached to a wall and it's cord, you know, and then and then go even further where this is a Mexican-American family with a traditional Mexican American father who's very machismo. Like, you hang up the phone, you know? there's not even a look back, much less talk back, you know, or complaining. So there’s a lot of that in Abraham. I mean, it's like I said, it's very much my dad. It's my my uncles, you know, the way they parented, which I remember very well. You know, it's my way or the highway kid, that's it. This is my house. I pay the bills. You will do X, Y and Z. And there's a bit of that that I do use in my own parenting with my children, you know? Boys are hard. You know, boys are difficult. But also I do try and talk to my [kids]…I'm much more about me, Ricardo, as a parent. I'm much more about trying to sit down with my kids and explain things to them and talk to them and be open with them, not just about things that are happening in the world, but also things that are happening with me where I'm doubtful about the situation, or the situation scares me. And, you know, you have to try to just be as honest and truthful with my children as possible, which parents back then didn't always do, you know? So it's very interesting to be on the set because those sets kind of transport you back, and the clothes transport you back, and all of a sudden you get that, you know, and then I just think about what my dad would be doing and bam, there's Abraham.

You feel like you feel it because the clothes, you know, you put them on and you're like…

I mean, it's. Oh, yeah. Some of this this time period, you know, you're talking especially when we get into when the kids are older teenagers and into their 20s. I mean, you're talking 1989, 91, 92. Fashion was atrocious.

Does the actress who's playing your wife wear those big glasses?

Oh, yeah! Oh, and I know and I've got this, you know, and that's that was part of Abraham's demeanor, like those sunglasses he always had them on. You know, I personally think that he kind of used them as a shield. You know, whenever he was doing business, you know, it was like his coat of arms. And when he had those on, you could not penetrate. You know, and he was and that's the other thing that you learn in the series is how how this family was so just the family always hanging around and so rarely did they let in strangers. And so if you were let in, you know, it was a big deal. You know, the band members that were a part of this, you know, they were a part of that family. And if Abraham didn't like somebody, bam, they were gone.

Well, how closely is the Quintanilla family working with the producers of this this show? But I know that they're very careful about the legacy and the image and everything of their family and their family story. And the reason why I'm asking this, is I'm just curious if they...

I'm sure they're you know, I'm sure they get to read all the scripts and they check it out and they have to. I know that they have to give clearance on ... They had to give clearance on all the casting. So, you know, it's their hands. You know, Suzette, I think is the one that's taking the rein, so to speak, of being in charge of this kind of thing and I think I'm sure she's doing a very good job. I'm almost certain they've got their hands and their voice and everything with regards to this project.

Well, I've been looking forward to this for a long time.

You know a lot of people have, man! It's a huge story. And not just here in South Texas. I mean, but, you know, having spent time in Mexico, you know, our Mexican population, the northern states, you know, huge fans. They just ... it's a beautiful story. It's a tragic story. I mean, it literally is a telenovela. And my connection, you know, that I'm from South Texas. I'm from San Antonio. Corpus Christi is not that far away. Selena and I were only a couple months apart in age. You know, she was born in oh, God, what was it, April to April? She was born in the month of April and I was born in the month of September of 1971. You know, we were both graduating high school the same year. I remember I was at Incarnate Word College, I was doing theater at Incarnate Word College, and I was walking up, was it Broadway to catch my bus back home at like, I don't know, three o'clock in the afternoon or something like that and Selena had that boutique there. Yeah. And I remember walking by the day that she was shot and people were there were flowers out there. There were camera crews out there. People were crying and everything. And I was and, you know, there's no there's no smartphones in your hand. So it's like, let me get home so I can make the news so I can see what happened. And sure enough, I get off my bus. I, you know, kind of quickly make myself get myself back to my house, open the door and my dad's there. And he was like, Selena was shot. And I was like, oh. And he's like, come sit down, let's watch the news, and I was like, OK. We sat down and we watched it, but yeah, it's ... you know ... [trails off]

Um, one last question--you mentioned, of course, and the dearth of stories from this area about South Texas, about people from South Texas, and is that something that you maybe have ever wanted to find a producing partner on and maybe put something like that together?

So that's a beautiful question, Nathan, thank you for asking. As a result of this with Selena, they've actually they made me a co-producer on it.

Congratulations!

Thank you. And I've been able to create a very great relationship with Jaime Davila, who is the head of Campanario Entertainment that is producing Selena and he's our producer, just he's so smart. He's so smart. He's he wants to just focus on telling Latino, Latinx stories. And so he's got several things that he's working on, specific stories to San Antonio, specific stories to South Texas. I'm pretty sure he wants to utilize me and maybe one or two of those, which is great. We'll have to see. I also have a couple of things that I'm working on with a good friend of mine, Tony Plana. Tony Plana and are looking at a couple of things that we're trying to get to secure the rights to. So if that happens, these would be a couple of other stories that are specific to South Texas about some, you know, some really famous Mexican Americans from the area. I think that this retelling of Selena in a series format is going to be really big for not just for her family and for her story and for her legacy, but also for the legacy that is South Texas and San Antonio and Corpus and, you know, all the way down to McAllen and and those areas. And I think you're going to start seeing more stories coming out about our area. I think it's I think it's long overdue.

Well, Ricardo, thank you so much.

Thanks! Thanks for taking the time.

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starstruck-xavier · 4 years

Text

Heard You Say, Not Today (Heard Your Voice, There's No Choice) - Logicality

-- TW for a suicide attempt (described in the past, not too detailed) --

words: 1862 ships: logicality summary: Logan and Patton suffer from the same thing for different reasons. When one of them has a bad day, the other helps them through it. other: inspired by the song Not Today by Twenty One Pilots! i was listening to the song n got this idea gfhdfhd i might also write a fic alongside this one and i’ll link between the two if i do. enjoy the fic and stay safe <3

ao3 || wattpad || fanfic masterpost || main masterpost

Logan can tell, the second he wakes up to the feeling of his boyfriend curled up next to him, the sight of sunbeams streaming through the crack in the curtains and the sound of beautiful song birds, that he’s not going to be able to do much at all today. Despite all these wonderful things to wake up to, he can’t help but feel the figurative weight on his heart pressing down and the feeling of something vaguely bad-feeling filling his entire body. The depression is illogical, he tells himself. He’s physically able to wake up, be productive and take good care of himself, but there’s invisible shackles keeping him in place.

As he listens to his internal monologue miserably, Patton slowly starts to blink awake next to him, giving him a sleepy smile.

"Morning, Lo.” He greets him tiredly and reaches out one arm to rest across Logan’s abdomen. He looks so ethereal, he may as well have a glowing halo over his head, highlighting the faded blue in his hair and the constellations of summer freckles on his nose. Logan focusses on these things, tries to feel anything positive.

"Good morning, darling.” His voice comes out affectionately but weary, like he’s been awake for days, even though he’s only been awake for a couple of minutes. Patton seems to notice this; he shuffles to prop himself up on one elbow and leans over Logan, pressing their lips together. The kiss is gentle, like Patton’s handling something fragile, and Logan attempts once again to feel a spark of affection, but the feeling is subdued, muffled by the static in his head.

After a few seconds, Patton pulls back and sits up fully, still gazing at him through beautifully hazel eyes, his vision obviously obscured by the lack of glasses. "Are you okay?” He asks softly. That soft voice. Logan can never get enough of the way words just breeze past his lips, wistful, excitable but sensible when he needs to be. There’s a moment of silence between the two as Logan registers the question and thinks, wondering if he should say yes or be honest, until at last he shakes his head slowly, almost afraid to admit it. Patton frowns, but then simply wraps his arms around Logan’s waist and snuggles back up to him. "That’s okay. It’s okay.” He whispers.

They remain like that for some time as the post-sleep drowsiness begins to leave them. Eventually the two of them shift so that Patton’s laying on top of Logan, his nose brushing against his cheek, providing some external warmth to counter the drained feeling in Logan’s insides. It’s working just a little. Patton can help him. He’ll feel okay, eventually. He hopes.

"You’re not motivated to do anything today?” The soft words are heard again, closer this time as Patton murmurs against Logan’s skin.

The long answer is that he wants to be motivated, he wants to spend today getting work done and then watching movies and kissing Patton senseless like he does on most days, but he can’t bring himself to feel as excited about it as he wants. However, saying all of that seems like too much of an effort for his brain, so he settles for, "Not today.”

The words seem to elicit a small, strangely excited gasp from Patton as he sits up yet again. "Hey, you’re quoting one of our favourite songs! Y’know how it goes?” He shuffles off of a confused-looking Logan and out of their bed, walking over to the curtains. "Heard you say, ‘not today’, tore the curtains down, windows open, now make a sound.” As he sings the line, he throws the curtains open to allow in the stream of natural sunlight and fresh air from the slightly parted window. He turns to look at Logan with a smile as bright as said sunlight.

Maybe he will manage to get out of his depressed state, just for a while.

Logan sits up to lean his back against the headrest with the subtlest smile on his face at Patton’s antics. "There’s many songs we know called ‘Not Today’, including the one by Alessia Cara and the one by BTS, but the lyrics to that one make sense right now. I appreciate the sentiment.”

Patton giggles airily. "Anything to make you feel better. Hey, what do you always say about the benefits of natural sunlight?”

"That it contains vitamin D which promotes a better sense of wellbeing and strengthens the bones?” Logan blinks, confused, but then connects the dots. A better sense of wellbeing.

"Yeah, that’s right!” Sitting on the bed again, Patton places his hand over Logan’s. “We don’t have to go outside, but let’s try to do something to feel better today, alright? Even if it doesn’t entirely work, it's an effort made that you should be proud of.”

The spark of affection returns, a little stronger this time. "Yes.” Logan locks eyes with Patton. "That would be ideal.”

It only takes a second for Patton to initiate another kiss, sweet and citrusy, smiling against Logan’s lips.

As much as Logan would tell himself when he’s feeling down that the depression is illogical, he’d never apply that logic to someone else, making him somewhat contradictory. Although, he’s acknowledged that his thoughts can become cloudy when he’s in a bout of depression; when he manages to bring himself out of it he can confidently say that his mental health issues are not without reason. It may not be how he grew up, or due to some traumatic incident, it’s just an imbalance of chemicals in his brain. Eventually he’ll be able to get medication for it, Patton always reassures him. Just a few more doctors visits and he’ll have a prescription.

It’s certainly better than it used to be. Occasionally, Logan will look back on his college days and inevitably remember the night he felt he couldn’t do anything right and he wanted to escape all the deadlines, willing away his would-be-last moments looking a mess in the bathtub, water stained slightly pink, before Virgil’s hysterical screaming alerted Patton and Roman. Patton stayed with him that night, tending to his injuries, letting him cry into his shirt. The slashes weren’t actually deep enough to warrant much medical attention - perhaps Logan really was too scared to leave life here - but it looked bad enough to poor Virgil that it took everybody at least a few days to recover from the huge scare. Roman’s singing was just a little softer when he was around him, constantly offering him comfort whenever Virgil was at a class and couldn’t cuddle. A few times after that week, Virgil would either hide away in his room or clamber into Logan’s lap while he was reading and they’d stay that way for hours. Patton, meanwhile, gave gentle hugs and kisses, regularly checked under his bandages, did mental checkups on him.

Logan will always feel bittersweet when he remembers what Patton did for him. While his boyfriend was dealing with depression beforehand, he can’t help but wonder if that night made things even worse for him, which is why Logan will always do what he can whenever Patton has his bad days.

He starts by noticing the subtle tell-tale signs as they make their way through the morning together. Patton’s smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, his laugh has too much of a forced exhalation in it, he doesn’t kiss with the same excitability that he always exhibits. The signs are less subtle, or perhaps Logan isn’t as quick to notice them as Patton is, because it’s usually around mid-morning when Logan gently confronts the issue.

"Are you okay, love?” He secures his arms around Patton’s waist and rests his chin on the top of his head when he catches him looking distracted, zoned out. Patton blinks back into reality with a questioning hum, then sighs and melts into the touch.

“I'm not feeling great.” He says softly. That’s a start, but as soon as he says it the smiles leave him completely; Logan can only guess that that’s him finally letting the raw depression show after admitting that it’s there.

Deciding to take a more therapy-based approach, Logan walks over to the couch with Patton and lets him sit in his lap. "Do you know what could be causing it?”

Patton takes one of Logan’s hands and holds it in both of his. "Just thinking about family stuff.” His voice comes out quiet, like he’s afraid to say it, as if someone’s going to burst through the door as soon as he says it and shout at him for it. Logan understands very quickly why Patton would say it that way, and runs his hands up and down his back comfortingly.

"And how they rejected you?” He pries gently.

"Yeah.” Patton sounds dejected, heartbreakingly so. "I can’t take my mind off it.”

Something that Logan wasn’t expecting to come out of therapy for him was that his therapist asks a lot of questions. He’ll ask Logan why he thinks he’s feeling down, and then as Logan starts to answer, he basically discovers the issue which was previously unbeknownst to him. A therapist doesn’t directly fix his problems, rather, a therapist helps him to fix his own problems. This is how he learns to ask Patton a lot of questions as well as giving him advice, because perhaps he’ll help Patton come to a conclusion one day and begin to feel better. So, he posits another question. “Why?”

It’s so simple, yet Patton takes several seconds to dwell on it. "I don’t know. Sometimes I can just never not think about it. There’s no choice.” The reference seems to go unrealised by Patton, which causes him to look confused when Logan brushes his hair out of his eyes with a fond smile.

"Heard your voice, ‘there’s no choice’,” Logan’s less confident with his singing abilities, but still sings the line to jog Patton’s memory of what he sang just a week ago. "Tore the curtains down, windows open, now make a noise.”

The noise Patton makes is a small laugh that has Logan’s heart racing. He sees that smile return and it’s there in his eyes, even if it’s only short-lived. "You got me there, Lo.” And while Patton’s depression isn’t immediately dissipated, he’s beginning to return to his usual self. Logan can’t help the grin that overtakes his features as he kisses Patton softly on the lips. His hands move to cup his face while Patton circles his arms around his shoulders and the kiss deepens, with Logan tilting his head for a better angle. The two of them would stay like that forever if the need for oxygen wasn’t there to pull them apart.

"Sometimes a distraction can take your mind off of things you don’t want to confront just yet.” Logan gazes lovingly into those hazel eyes and mentally traces the constellations into the summer freckles on his nose. “Want to try some externalisation today?”

Patton leans in again to press a kiss to the tip of Logan’s nose.

“What did I do to deserve you, Logan?”

#tw suicide attempt #suicide tw #suicide attempt #suicide #logicality #logan x patton #patton x logan #sanders sides #xavier's fanfiction #patton sanders #logan sanders #ts patton #ts logan #sanders sides fanfiction #let me know if anything else needs to be tw tagged!

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