#like. i didnt even finish my book one replay in time

[blushouyo]

the heartless prince of ravens - heartless no more

#playchoices #the cursed heart #tch #kieran #my aart #BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING. #YES I CHOSE GHOUL KIERAN #ITS ENDEARING #anyways.. #the sequel release snuck up on me #like. i didnt even finish my book one replay in time #so this is late! #but better late than never #kierannnnn #im hoping so hard that this sequel isnt gonna turn out to be awful #*makes the im watching you hand motion* #chapter one was eh past my inital joy of it being back #chaper two was better. but we shall see

[satankilledmyghost]

I NEED MORE WOLFIE😭😭😭😭😭

(Love you tho. Even if you don’t write anything, because hello it’s me, I’m proud to read the finished products heahaehehe)

OR GIMME (or us*) HEAD CANNONS OF THEM AT A FUNERAL. that would be something I would PAY to see.

For some reason, I kinda want to just be in the mind of one of them. Just for a day. Yknow? And I’m also debating starting the series over, and I could be texting you this, but hey, I’m bored and too lazy to switch tabs rn. If you do post this, I wanna say hi to everyone. Hit me up. Please. I need more people to appreciate the wolf without thinking I’m into some wattpad werewolf books.

BITCHHHHH I THOUGHT U WERE A RANDOM ASS DUCKLING SO I WAS CONFUSED ABOUT THE TEXTING PART ABBSJSNA. I DIDNT KNOW YOU CHANGED YOUR USERNAME😭

y’all, say hi to my bestie. she’s a fucking nutcase but we love her nonetheless <3

okay, one, fucking reread weak hero. or imma go to your house and find you. two, here’s your request, but go see your therapist. three, don’t hate on the wattpad- yeah, i- i can't justify those.

WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF DEATH, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, AND FUNERALS, HEARTBREAK, ANGST?

weak hero characters reaction to your death/at your funeral

donald na

you know that one time where kingsley went into donald’s office and trailed off mid sentence because he noticed donald was eating a loaf of bread and zoning out??

that’s his reaction you dying

no emotions, no crying, just an empty, numb feeling in his chest and he can only think of you and not really focus on anything else

he'll be doing something and thoughts like “they would really like this” or “they would fucking hate this” or just picturing your reactions to something that donald’s doing in the current moment will cross his mind

he'll replay past conversations and interactions with you an unhealthy amount of times, suffering through tears. whether he wants to admit it or not, you had an affect on donald.

if you die tragically(say, beaten to death over union bs or jumped or whatever), he’ll punish those mother fuckers. no mercy.

donald'll be more salty and short-tempered to everyone around him. even kingsley isn’t safe.

donald misses you, and he longs to be in your presence one last time, even if it means listening to you complain about how cruel he runs his union.

jake ji

will bawl his eyes out and will probably have a psychotic break down.

he’ll be mental, how dare the universe take you from him?!

the one thing in his life that isn’t tied to the union, you were his little slice of life

a tiny piece of this world that isn’t cruel, someone he can go to.

sure, jake’s got dean and the guys, but they can be assholes sometimes. the one person that would always be there, arms open wide and endless love just for him, you, is gone. and it won't ever change.

all of those late, spontaneous nights at the parks, you pestering him to get him to study, pulling all-nighters watching anime, walking with you to and from school, your bright smile, your laugh, all of those times that you and jake cuddled close and fell asleep. these things will never happen again and jake can't handle that reality.

jake will call you, desperate and foolishly hoping that you'll pick up your phone. but all he ever gets is your voicemail. if you had access to your phone, it'd be voicemail after voicemail of jake violently sobbing into his phone, begging, pleading for you to come back.

wolf keum

his body will have a reaction to your death, but his mind won’t catch up.

with news of your death, wolf will start to tremble, his voice will be useless, and his body is super tense. he might even start crying.

but while all of this is happening, wolf won’t be feeling anything internally. his mind will run blank as he tries to process the fact that you’re dead.

wolf's emotionally numb and the only coherent thought he has is “oh, they’re dead. is this how someone’s supposed to react? what i’m doing now? why is there tears? i don’t feel sad? okay. they're gone. you're gone.”

he saw you this morning. wolf walked you to school. what happened? is this a sick joke?? cause if it is, wolf will beat your ass to death's doorstep himself.

but it’s not a joke and that slams him when he attends your funeral. wolf will be in the back of the room, hands stuffed into his pockets and eyeing your sobbing family and friends warily.

wolf doesn’t participate, hell, he can’t even bring himself to witness you getting buried, but he stays for the eulogy.

just hearing what your friends and family have to say about you kills him.

but it’s also almost like a peace offering at the same time. in what wolf hears about you via everyone else, he realizes that the you that you were around him was only for him. you showed him sides of you that none of these people knew about.

if wolf walked out of your funeral with anything that day, it was a minuscule glimmer of bitter sweet pride that he was the only one that got to love that version of you.

forrest lee

he’s just pissed off. permanently.

cries himself to sleep over you, is sweet to your family at your funeral, and stays through the whole thing

he doesn't know how to process these emotions. grape might lecture him about the 5 stages of grief, but forrest wouldn't be listening.

he'd dig himself a grave, drown himself in whatever he could get his hands on to escape reality.

forrest would pull the dumbest shit and end up driving Hyeongshin into the ground with his carelessness and get beaten a millimeter from death by donald's hands.

but as grape and robin watch on in complete horror and shame, forrest would be on the ground oddly content because maybe, just maybe, donald will deal that final blow and he'll get to see you again.

jimmy bae

he’s a giant softie, he’ll cry until he’s a human raisin as soon as he gets the news.

he won’t say anything to anyone, especially at your funeral. sure, he’ll talk to your family, but it’s short and quiet.

jimmy would definitely stand at your headstone hours after your burial ends. he won’t say anything, but he’s there. and he desperately wants to know if you’re there, too, sitting on your headstone or standing next to him, leaning into his side like you always did when you were alive.

jimmy always complained about you wanting physical affection, but he’d do just about anything now to hear you pout until he let you hold his hand on the walk to school just one more time.

big ben

you broke him. i don't know how else to explain it. ben's screams still haunt whoever was in earshot to this day.

ben's typical optimism and emotional maturity in tough situations will be thrown out the window.

he can't even take care of himself. ben will be too busy laying, numb, in his bed to attend your funeral, but gogo and the others would force him.

bens eyes are dead and he scarily resembles a corpse as he just exists while your funeral commences.

he's a husk of the person he used to be, though it'll take a long while before he's able to start living again.

though, ben will never be the same.

alex go

he disappears. no one knows where he went or if he’ll come back.

ben will try the ocean to see if alex is there, and the first few times he might be, but alex quickly gets sick of being brought back home to where you weren’t there.

alex thinks that if he isn’t in your neighborhood, walking by your school, your favorite store, that cafe you love, you aren’t dead.

it’s easier to process your death if alex is away from all the things that reminds him of you.

alex would drag himself to your funeral and would comfort your mother as your father holds his shoulder and talks about all the things you’d say about alex to them. your dads voice would be wobbly and your mother would laugh through rivers of tears and say how giddy you were after a date with him you’d be skipping through the rest of the week.

if, one day, he does come back, alex won’t say anything. he’ll focus on bettering himself because if he couldn’t protect you from death, what use does he have?

teddy jin

teddy spends his days inside with co. he’s quiet about your death, but not the concerning type of quiet.

it’s almost like teddys pondering why you died, though the cause of your death is public knowledge.

oddly, teddy processes and gets through his grief healthy. he does become more quiet than he was before.

like jimmy, teddy would stand for hours at your burial site. he just can’t nail the reality that you’re gone, even though he sat through and talked at your funeral.

gerard jin

gerard would be suicidal. if he can’t bear the idea that his friend couldn’t perform in his band for one year over burned hands, gerard wouldn’t survive news of your death.

he wouldn’t touch his guitar, and his voice is too weak without you to sing.

he attends your funeral, though, and he tries his hardest to gain the strength to talk to your family.

his mom would hand him your journal/note that you wrote, adamant that this is something he needs to read.

and he does, but he wishes to god that he didn’t.

you wrote to him and about him. every little thing that you two did together, gerard’s quirks that you loved. hell, you even poked fun at him one time or another.

he clings to your words and there’s months of grief in store for him.

when gerard finally starts to get over your death, he’ll write the most beautifully grim song about you.

gray yeon

we’ve all experienced what stephan ann has done to gray, so his reaction to you dying will be almost the exact same.

but this time, gray has friends. ben and alex would help gray start to get back into living again. those two would take him out, starting small and hopefully working back up to what he usually would do before your death.

eugene and gerard would be the silent supporters, eugene being more apt to confront gray and directly asking him what he needs.

rowan and teddy are the two idiots in the corner trying to be serious, but rowan fucks it up and gets smacked by teddy. they’re a distraction for gray, even if for a moment, but a welcomed one.

gray would write to you, telling you about his day and what’s been going on that you’ve missed.

once he’s finished writing to you, he’d walk to your grave and set it down, a small part of him hopeful that somehow you’ll be able to read it.

once he’s more comfortable around your tombstone, gray will take time to sit down and talk to you instead of letters.

eugene gale

poor baby doesn’t know what to do :(

eugene would close up and shun everyone around him.

he’d be mute and refuse to open up to anyone, deciding that suffering in silence is the best way to go instead of bothering everyone else with his grief.

eugene might go as far as to be hostile to ben and everyone else, and that’s when they know something is wrong wrong.

eugene is in desperate silence at your funeral, grasping at air to try and stop himself from crying.

he takes notice of the flowers at your eulogy, oddly. you had never stated what you like regarding flowers, if you liked them at all, so eugene found it odd that there were extravagant bouquets for you.

but when he visits your grave, he’ll bring different types of flowers and, depending on how well the grass above your casket is growing, find out which ones you like.

there’s no logic to this, eugene is aware of that, but it’s something that reassure eugene that you aren’t totally gone.

after months, eugene would sit at your grave and rattle off facts and stories to your head stone just like he did when you were alive.

rowan im

rowan could barely survive through your funeral, having to leave multiple times from sobbing, and visiting your grave is unbearable right now.

he would force himself to stay bright and cheery. he’s the type to make sure that nothing that bothers him will show.

he needs to stay that one friend that can make everyone laugh, ya know?

but more and more, rowan’s grief would seep onto his mask and the group would definitely notice.

it’d start with one quiet day, and then the jokes are less and less, and then for a whole week rowan just gives up.

how’s he supposed to function when you’re gone? you’re his number two, the one person who would go along with his shit and have fun.

how’s he supposed to find fun in mundane things now if you’re not around??

#weak hero #weak hero webtoon #weak hero x reader

[fcknstar]

Will you do dating Harry Osborn includes for the amazing Spider-Man harry?

hihi! i wasnt quite sure what you meant by harryosborn includes.. so i just did like a headcanon and a snippet abt how itd be like! so apologies if it was wrong..

,, love me "

harryosborn x reader

a.n : i wanna apologize for the inactivity, i started sch on 3rd jan and had alot of admin work to do and didnt have enough time to fully sit down and type away.. i really enjoy doing request so please feel free loves! btw i have alot more ideas so yea. im still learning french, so sorry if i got some mistakes!

warnings : none. some use of french!

**lowercase intended**

he would cook for you

walking into your shared penthouse, you were met with a mouthwatering smell. you knew harry enjoyed cooking, for you at least and would cook all types of cuisine. entering the kitchen, it seems like hes cooking grilled steak. your favourite. you had told him on your first few dates that you loved grilled steak and there he is, preparing you some. " baby, i didnt know you were back home " he greeted you with a hug. " and i didnt know you knew how to cook grilled steak. " you teased him after releasing him from your grasp. " well i had to learn for my love. " he pulled you closer as he kissed your temple.

harry knows your schedule so hed prepare a surprise date for you both every now and then.

“ where are we going? “ you questioned. harry had picked you up from your shift, youd usually walk home in your own comfort since the place you worked at is merely a short walk to your shared penthouse. '' somewhere i know you'd like " he replied simply, giving you a lopsided smile.

when you first meet him, you wouldn't think that hes into affection, but he is big into it. he loves loves loves hugs so so much. due to the height difference, hed place his chin on your head.

he loves dressing you up.

" when i was younger, i wanted to be a princess. funny right? " you laughed, flashes of your kiddly past replayed in your mind. harry just smiled. the next day, he brought you shopping and you were able to heal your inner child all thanks to him.

he would bring you shopping at least once a week for any necessities or wants that youve been eyeing.

hed play with your hair whenever youre concentrated on something.

he loves spending time just looking at you.

if you were to make gifts and just love hands on craft, hed appreciate every piece you make him. he even has a shelf just to display your gifts. hed try to make some stuff for you, even if it looks bad in his eyes, you love it.

" i uh, tried to make a clay figurine for you.. but it looks horrible, i know " harry whispered, preparing for the nasty comments he knew you wouldn't share. handing it to you, he is met with a kiss on the cheek and a sequel. " oh harry! i love it so so much. " seeing you run off to your shared bedroom confused him so he followed your trail. you kneeled infront of your cupboard, you took out a box. ' i didnt know you had that.. " harry thought. what he saw next warmed his heart dearly. over the years of you both dating, youd each would gift each other often. he hadnt realize he had made a clay figurine in the first years of dating after seeing how much you value homemade stuff. you pulled out a clay figurine and paired it with the one he recently gifted you. " harry! look how cute it is! " you giggled. harry appreciated these moments he had with you. kneeling next to you, he peeked into the box. he saw those love letters he wrote to you years ago, kept in its pristine condition which made him smile.

he likes to read, you like to read = perfect match. he would share with you a book he had recently finished reading at the dining table and would chat about it, you doing the same thing. you both love poetry and what warmed your heart was that he wrote his own poems to you. when harry confessed his feelings for you, it wasnt just a simple " i like you, wanna go on a date ". he was better.

he secretly loves when you shower him with love, extra extra love. well because growing up, he craved it. you are his safe haven. you are his best friend, girlfriend. basically his everything.

if you want to continue studying, he would fund your trip. he would want to call you everyday, every second of the day.

" have you eaten? " harrys voiced displayed concern, even if you couldn't see his face. " yea.. i have. " harry picked on how solemn your voice were. " whats wrong baby? you know you can talk to me right? " harrys question made you laugh. " yea well, i just uhm. miss you alot that is.. you know.. your hugs, you. " you whispered, trying not to let your voice break. " me too sweetheart. but hey! youre coming back in a week or so right? just keep that in mind darling. " harry tried to keep his tone cheerful, despite how bad his heart is hurting. once your calle ended, he booked a flight there, wanting to give you as much support you needed while studying abroad. france was a scary place. but very romantic. as you were about to walk past an alleyway, a person blocked your view. " désolée(sorry) " . looking up, you saw harry. " hi baby " you beemed with joy, jumping up and hugging him so tightly it could choke him to death. " right right, i need to breathe if not i cannot function properly. " he chuckled. " god, i missed you. " you whispered into his neck, kissing it gently. " well i missed you more.. mon amour " harry replied, lifting you up slightly and spining you both around.

#harry osborn #harry osborn x reader #dane dehaan #dane dehaan imagine #imagines #oneshots #answered #tasm!harry osborn #tasm!harry osborn x reader #tasm fic #tasm 2 #valerianxreader #valerian and the city of a thousand planets #headcanon #headcanons

[draggingthedregs]

suffocating | grisha kaz

A/N: ah! its finally finished! it took me awhile to settle on a plot that i liked and that i felt did the au idea justice but, once i did, i was really happy with how it came along. i also had way too much fun finding ways to incorporate little bits of ravkan language and nods to the actual books in her as well. i will say, it is a bit longer then i originally anticipated. i wanted to give proper background and information and when i considered cutting it or shortening it, it just didnt feel right! and there is a bit of kanej because i am incapable of writing anything soc without it.

PS: thank you to the lovely @kingnikolaiofravka for the original idea! and thank you for being so cool about me falling in love with your idea and running with it!

Word Count: 4373

~~~

When he was a boy, Kaz was told stories of Grisha. 

Depending on who you heard them from, you received different tellings. Though, all stories were, by nature, the same. They told of men and women who could heal any wound, who could bend wind and water to their will, could reshape metals with a simple wave of their hand. Some stories were darker; the Grisha could kill with a single blink, could set your body ablaze and simply watch you burn, could render you helpless with nothing but gasses and powder. 

Like most children, he was afraid of the unknown and the magic they seemed to possess was foreign and strange. It wasn’t until he saw one of them work that he truly understood. 

The man was an Inferni, working in the fields near the Rietveld family farm, burning the soil to help improve the harvest. Kaz had been running through the fields before supper and gotten turned around in the expanse of golden stalks. He had just begun to panic when he heard the sound of footsteps, a soft warmth emanated from his left. 

Kaz walked closer, peeking through to see a man in the clearing up ahead. He was tall and thin, wearing clothes about as clean as Kaz’s. Fire flicked around his wrists and hands, the flint never far out of reach, as long streams licked at the ground, burning away the remnants of dried crops. Without even realizing, Kaz had started walking closer and the man took notice. His arms fell and the fire ceased, as he spoke, his accent was odd and difficult to understand. Kaz was ceratin he wasn’t from Kerch. “Who are you? Where did you come from?”

“I-I-” Kaz stuttered, feeling as though he had been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. 

“Well, Otkazat’sya?” The mans tone was short and though he couldn’t understand the word he had used, Kaz didn’t think he heard anger. 

“I got lost. I was just trying to get back home- I didn’t mean to-” 

“What is your name?”

He was tentative but was certainly not trying to anger the man who could create fire. “Kaz.”

“I am Alik.” Alik tucked his flint into the pouch worn around his belt and crouched in front of him. “Where do you live, Kaz?” 

“On a farm near here. The Rietveld’s.” 

“Da, da. Come with me.” Alik patted Kaz’s shoulder as he stood and began walking back through the way he had come in. Kaz scrambled after him, keeping a short distance between them as they walked. To him, it felt as though he had been gone for hours. The sun was orange on the horizon and the last bits of the summer day were fading quickly. Kaz was glad to have Alik with him. 

With a sudden rush of confidence, Kaz felt a question bubble up . “How do you do it? The magic?”

“The fire?”

Kaz simply nodded, quickening his pace to walk beside Alik. 

“It’s just there. But it isn’t magic, it is a science.”

For some odd reason, Kaz understood what he meant. It wasn’t learned or taught, it just was. It helped make the shapes of him, like blood and bone. Kaz had always felt as though he was the problem, never fitting in, never making friends, but maybe it was just who he was. It was just there all along. 

When they approached the Rietveld farm from behind, Kaz breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Alik.”

The man waved with his thin hand, dismissing the thanks. “Just be sure to know where you’re going next time, da? It might not be me who finds you.”

Kaz tilted his head a bit, going to speak, but Alik had already walked through the high stalks, disappearing into the moonlit darkness. 

As he walked back toward to house, Kaz felt a new sense of surety settle in his chest. He glanced over his shoulder at the backdoor, then spun to see in every direction, ensuring no one was around to see him. He stuck his arms out and focused all his energy on them, calling toward something, anything, to respond. His cheeks grew hot and he realized he had been holding his breath. Kaz let out a huff and dropped his arms to his sides, clearly disappointed. 

“What’re you doing out here?” Jordie’s voice sneered from behind. 

Immediately, his cheeks flamed. “Nothing!”

His brother laughed. “It was obviously something.” “Leave me alone, Jordie.”

“Oh come on. Don’t be a baby!”

Kaz spun on him, his eyes narrowed. “I’m not a baby.”

“You sure are acting like one.”

“I said leave me alone.” The sense of surety from before remained, now flowing through his arms and legs, bouncing back and forth in his ribcage. As he clenched his fists at his sides, he seemed to grab hold of it. It was no longer ebbing and flowing, it was constant. 

Jordie’s eyes went wide, with what could only be fear, and his hands scrambled to his throat; he coughed and sputtered, never breaking Kaz’s gaze. 

“Jordie?” 

His brother gave no response, only gasped for air. 

“Y-you’re just playing, right?”

Jordie’s eyes began to roll and his legs buckled. He fell hard to the ground, landing straight on his knees, still clawing at his neck. 

“Da!” Kaz shouted, finally breaking his gaze and uncurling the fists at his side. He ran to the backdoor, throwing it open, and racing to find their father. 

“Da, please! Hurry!” He tugged hard on his arm, pulling to where his brother lay outside. Jordie’s chest now rose and fell in short, rapid pulses. He had turned to lay on his back, gulping down air in a panicked manner, like he was afraid it would leave him again. There were red marks on his neck from where he had been desperately scratching, as if trying to force the air through a new way. 

“What happened?” Their father commanded. He crouched down beside Jordie, helping him sit up before examining him further. 

“He couldn’t breathe!” Kaz replied. “We were talking, and then- and then he started coughing!” 

Jordie turned to Kaz, correcting his description of the events. “We were arguing,” his voice was ragged and thin, he had to stop to take long breaths. “And then Kaz got angry, and I felt like someone was squeezing my throat…”

Kaz began to defend himself. “It isn’t my fault, Da! I didn’t do anything! I couldn’t have!” And it was true. He hadn’t even laid a hand on Jordie, only thought about how angry he was. He hated when Jordie called him a baby, and it happened often. Whenever Kaz cried, wouldn’t share his toy, begged to play with Jordie and his friends in town… Kaz had heard it one too many times. 

His father said nothing more on the subject then. Only lifted Jordie up and helped him inside, telling Kaz to come in for dinner as well. 

Kaz stood there alone for a few moments more, staring at where Jordie had just been. He replayed everything in his mind, trying to remember what had happened. Had he missed something in his memory? Had he seen it all differently?

As he thought, he realized the feeling in his limbs remained. It was a pleasant hum through every inch of him and he found it oddly familiar, like it had always been there. He didn’t need to reach for it anymore, it was simply there; but he wasn’t sure what to do with it. An unpleasant idea crossed his mind. Maybe it was me. Maybe I did hurt him. Maybe the feeling hurt him… 

Quickly, Kaz scurried inside, pushing down those thoughts, trying to force himself to forget them entirely. As they sat down for dinner that night, there seemed to be a cloud hovering over top of them all. His father kept looking between the boys, as if he knew something they didn’t. 

***

In Ketterdam, Grisha were closer to property than people. 

They were bought and sold, like they were nothing more than a piece of machinery or an ornament in a merchers collection of treasures. The indentures were common, as they were a pretty way to make slavery sound more appetizing, to both the government and incoming, desperate Grisha. 

Even as a boy, Kaz had been instructed to keep hidden; his ability was to be used only when most necessary, for everyone's safety. When they moved to the city, there were times when he’d go weeks without it. His skin would go pale, shadows formed under his eyes and cheekbones, and his clothes hung off him more so than before. Jordie would worry when he wouldn’t eat, would say he looked more and more like a ghost everyday, but Kaz didn’t care. All he could think of was the hum he felt beneath his skin that wanted more, he wanted more. After Jordie was gone, Kaz quickly learned that it was the best weapon he could have ever asked for. 

When the alleyways of Ketterdam were swallowed by shadow, Kaz would strike. He waited for an unsuspecting victim to walk by, so long as they looked promising, and dropped them unconscious with a wave of his hand. He’d then scurry out of the dark, picking away at their persons, leaving nothing on them but their clothes. With a quick run back to the comfort of his hiding spot, he’d bring them to and let them ponder on what possibly could have happened. 

After Kaz joined the Dregs, he grew more careful. He saw the same people everyday, walked the same routes, did the same jobs; he couldn’t risk anyone finding out he had been harboring such an profitable secret. Still, to keep himself well and, quite frankly, entertained, he found ways to use his power that raised little attention. It started with a few girls. 

Kaz would catch them staring across the busy streets, curling their hair around their fingers and batting their lashes at him. The glance he gave in return was always small, just to keep their attention long enough to do his little trick. He’d ball his fist at his side, raising their heart rate and pushing a rosy blush up their cheeks. He could always tell by the looks on their faces how they’d responded. Some felt betrayed by their own emotions, others felt lovesick, their goofy grins constantly comical to him. 

That grew into something different, a similar trick that proved more efficient with the Barrel’s uglier inhabitants. Whenever Kaz came up against a rival gang or the occasional lone thief who fancied themselves quite the criminal, he would spike their heart rates. His fingers now tapping once against the cane to trigger the change. He urged their hearts faster than the girls; they needed to be afraid, not in love. Sweat would bead upon their brow, sometimes with his help and sometimes without; their speech would stutter to a slur or even a stop, and Kaz would know that he had them. 

All of these people had something in common; they were easy to fool, maybe even wanted to be. They all came for a show, for the preceding reputation Ketterdam carried. Kaz was only ensuring they all got what they came for, and in return he got what he wanted as well. They would remember the unexplainable sense of panic Dirtyhands had caused and he reveled in the reputation that began to build itself. The stories they told of Kaz Brekker, who made your heart pound with simply his gaze, reverberated through the city and beyond. 

Good, he thought, let them talk. 

His habit of wooing women dwindled as the years went on, realizing he preferred the look of fear in a mans eyes rather then the look of lust. But, after one chance encounter at the Menagerie of all places, he began to feel it for himself. 

The way she sat in his windowsill and fed her crows, the way she watched the stars when she thought it was too dark for anyone to see her, the way she never shied away from telling him exactly what she thought… It all made his heart thump and, had he allowed it, he probably could have conjured a goofy grin himself.  

The thoughts of her made him sick, though not because of the icy cold nightmares, but because then he’d have to admit that he cared for her, admit to himself that he wanted more than the Wraith simply sitting in his window. He couldn’t stop seeing her in his sheets, her inky hair swirling against his pillows, her hands running up his arms… Yet even still, he promised himself that his trick was never for her. She deserved better then him and certainly better then a cheap guise of affection. 

Kaz had hidden his ability from even her. After so many years of secrecy, he found it impossible to even consider uttering the words aloud to anyone. Until, one night he was left without a choice. 

It had only been the two of them on the canal that night. Inej was settled on top of a rickety apartment building, watching as Kaz waited for their target on the cobbled streets below. The man they were looking for was Harold Kerjach, an employee of Halleen with shifting loyalties. He had offered Kaz information, requesting a specific sum of kruge for his troubles. Though it was suspected that Kerjach wouldn’t come alone, neither of them felt too worried about needing more power then Dirtyhands and his Wraith could provide. 

Inej caught sight of him coming in from the right. She nudged a pebble over the edge of the roof with her toe to alert Kaz of the man’s presence. With a little nod, he turned, looking both ways like a child crossing a bustling street before making his way forward. Inej carefully shimmied down the brick siding, clinging to a drainpipe. The next row of apartments couldn’t simply be leaped to as she would have liked, crawling down left her vulnerable. As she prepared herself for scaling the next building, eager to follow alongside Kaz, she felt the point of a blade jab the side of her throat. 

A husky voice with hot breath crooned in her ear. “Look what I’ve caught. Brekker’s little spider.”

Her mind raced and with barely any time to think, she reached for the knife in her sleeve. The hilt had just graced her fingertips when another set of hands grabbed her arm. Inej nudged the blade back into place before it could slip free and clatter to the ground. Suddenly, she became keenly aware of the fact that she was surrounded. Three men stood around her, her front still snuggly against the brick wall of the second building. She was trapped. 

A different voice spoke now, this time, coming from her left. “Come with us, pretty girl, and you won’t hurt too much tomorrow.”

Inej snarled, his words forcing memories of a gilded cage and blue silk into her head. She shoved her elbow toward him, praying the jab would land, and thanking her saints when it connected with his gut. Quickly, her other elbow did the same, freeing both of her arms. One leg kicked backward as she spun towards them, hitting the man across the knees, causing him to stumble back. Finally, she allowed for the comfort of her blades to slide into her palms. 

Inej heard the cock of a gun from the dark. 

Kaz had been given useless leads before but this was almost too pointless. Harold Kerjach may have worked for Halleen but he didn’t even seem to know the combination code for the building lock. It had only taken one look for Kaz to realize something was wrong, but he couldn’t pick out a plan, couldn’t see where the hole was. Not until he heard the scrape of boots against pavement and the muffled struggle coming from the alley behind him. 

Kaz cocked and raised his pistol in one motion, pointing it straight between Kerjach’s eyes. “You chose the wrong man to pull one over on.” 

He needed the attention off of him and onto the barrel of the gun pointed at the mans head. Kaz gripped his cane tighter and the breath left Kerjach’s body in one swift gulp. He collapsed onto the pavement and, with a definitive tap of Kaz’s thumb against the crow’s eye, his lungs closed in his chest. Kaz held his gaze only until he was sure Kerjach lost his last breaths of life. 

Kaz ran quickly in the direction he had come, turning the corner to a small alley, where he saw Inej struggling against three men. She had been pressed against a wall, lifted off her feet by the collar of her shirt. The other two pressed her wrists flush against the brick, leaving only her legs free. She kicked and scrambled, struggling for any blade she could grab and bucking her legs in an attempt to kick the man holding onto her collar. The one pinning her right wrist, the shock of his white hair nearly glowing in the moonlight, seemed to grow tired of her thrashing and pulled out a knife, slicing a thick line down the side of her neck.

Inej let out a hiss that nearly bordered on a whimper.

It felt as though time slowed for Kaz as he walked forward and grabbed ahold of a heart with his free fist. The man holding Inej’s throat froze, his eyes widening. Kaz squeezed again, this time harder. The man dropped her as he stumbled back, allowing Inej to catch a second wave of strength. She drove her knee upward, connecting with one of the men’s groin. It was this frantic moment that she finally looked toward Kaz. Her gaze was wild and, if he had to venture a guess, frightened.

Kaz lifted his hand in the air, slowly clenching his fingers as the man with the blade seized in his grip. The bloody blade fell to the ground with a clang, ringing through the alley. He walked around, making sure he would be the last thing this man saw. His arm twisted, left and right, slowing his heart with every turn. Then, with a quick shove, he sped it back up. 

The stress the irregularity was causing was apparent. The blond coughed and sputtered, breathing heavily. Kaz’s vision tunneled, the world went quiet, and his fist closed tightly. He felt the mans heart burst, like a balloon with too much air; the sensation reverberated through him. Blood trickled out of his mouth, a crimson trail falling down the side of his chin before he slumped forward, hitting the ground with a thick thud. 

As Kaz lowered his hand and remembered his place, he realized the eerie silence in his head had blanketed the entire alleyway. Inej stood a few feet away, staring at him with an unreadable expression. The other two men lay dead at her feet, one with his throat slashed and the other with blood pouring from his eyes and ears. Kaz wasn’t entirely sure what he had done and what she had, his panicked memory blurring most of it together. His gaze fell to the thick covering of blood down the side of Inej’s neck. It flowed down past the collar of her shirt, now torn and stretched, staining the fabric.

His voice was rough as he spoke. “Your throat.”

She didn’t respond, only stared, looking up at him with gentle eyes and stepping closer.

“Inej -”

“You’re a Heartrender.”

Kaz let out a breath and nodded. His response was matter-of-fact, knowing there was no way out of this now. “I am.”

Inej considered him for a moment longer. The confusion and curiosity in her eyes was crystal clear, like this was the first time she was truly seeing him. “Can you do what Nina can? Can you heal too?”

“Not as well.”

She gently unstuck a few strands of hair from the blood coating her throat, scraping the messy braid over  her other shoulder. Inej knew that Kaz normally would have suggested that they go find Nina, make her deal with the slash in a quick and orderly manor, but she didn’t want anyone else to see her like this, she wanted him. “What about this?”

Kaz had watched Nina work on different members of the Dregs on multiple occasions. He payed careful attention to the way her hands moved, the way she held their limbs, the look on her face… Late at night, well after everyone else had gone to sleep or left the Slat entirely, he’d sit alone in his room and dwell on his own body. Scratches, cuts, gunshot wounds, whatever the ailment, he’d sit by the dim lighting at his desk and try to piece himself back together. The scars were always thick and ugly, the cuts sometimes looking worse than when he’d first began. He had never truly gotten the hang of it; never felt as though healing suited the Bastard of the Barrel. 

He considered her wound before carefully peeling the glove from his hand. Kaz forced a deep breath. Had the person in front of him been anyone else, he would have laughed in their face at the ask. Would’ve told them to find a medik before they lost too much blood to walk themselves home. But not with Inej. He would have done anything she liked, anything she asked. 

His fingers were nimble and pale, shaking as they gently brushed against her. The nausea arose, like it always did, but this was different; it was a manageable feeling. He focused on the long cut, focused on her beneath his touch. This was the closest they had ever been. Kaz could feel her heart beat beneath his fingertips, the warmth of her shoulder that was nearly pressed against his chest; he listened to her deep breaths against the silence of the alley, hearing the hitch in her throat as he began working away at the thickest part of the cut. 

After a few moments, Kaz had closed the edges of the wound. He wouldn’t be able to prevent a scar but it didn’t matter. He was fairly certain that Inej wouldn’t care about looks, she had only wanted to remain upright and conscious. He lingered a second longer, despite having finished, he couldn’t help but revel in having her this near. Eventually, he forced himself back from her warmth, swallowing down the image of his bare hand trailing up to her cheek, his lips gently meeting hers. 

Inej hadn’t taken her eyes off him and even now, she remained determined. Kaz could see  a question pulling at the edge of her lips, one dark brow raised high on her forehead. Her way of making silence palpable and, quite frankly, loud, irked him. He quickly grew impatient. “What is it, Wraith?”

Inej didn’t jump at his snap, she never did, if anything she moved closer, studying his face. “Do you do it on purpose?” 

“What?”

She looked down at the concrete, in deep thought, then she looked back up, meeting his gaze once more. He saw the conflict in her eyes, the regret creeping in as she asked what she had been thinking. “Do you steal my breath everytime I see you on purpose?”

Kaz felt the world spin, his lungs seemed to give out all on their own. He couldn’t have heard her right. His trick wasn’t for her, it never had been but- had he done it without realizing? Had the feeling creeped into his hands without him letting it? A quick vision of Jordie clutching his throat flashed through Kaz’s mind. 

Inej waited for his answer, appearing as still as always, though her eyes were stormy and filled with apprehension. 

“No,” He began and, before he could think better of it, his next thought fell out of his mouth, hanging in the air between them. “But I feel as though I could ask you the same.” 

She stood a bit straighter, a drop of hope running down her spine. Inej didn’t respond to his remark, simply stared at the boy in front of her. Somewhere, deep down, she knew that he wouldn’t have played a game such as that, not with her. Yet hearing the words come from his lips, made her heart thump even more. Kaz had not changed from earlier in the night, walking in along the canal to now standing among bodies in the alley, but Inej couldn’t fight the feeling that right now, she was seeing something new. 

With a nod of his head, Kaz gestured toward the way they had come. “We should be going. Before someone sees us here.” 

Inej followed alongside him quietly. 

The moon, high in the air, reflected pretty ripples in the canal beside them. Kaz fought the urge to watch her as they walked, glancing down once, then twice, before giving in. 

The light touched the bridge of her nose, the soft curve of her forehead and lips, her eyes shimmering with sparkles. Despite the blood now dried on her throat, she looked picturesque, like an oil painting that seemed a little too good to be true. It didn’t take long for her to feel his gaze, glancing upward with the gentle turn of her head. Kaz felt his heart thumping quickly in his chest. Once again, he felt like one of the girls he’d met on the street, his own grin bubbling under the surface. 

He couldn’t stop hearing her voice in his head, asking if he had dug around in her chest like so many others. Without even realizing it, Kaz had once again given her the choice. She would always get to decide for herself, whether she stayed or went, loved or hated, touched or didn’t. Inej would always receive the best from him, the best of him, because she hadn’t given him the same choice. 

Kaz would always be bound to lose his breath and feel his heart pound at her mercy, and as much as he hated to say it, he enjoyed it. 

fin.

#grisha kaz #grisha!kaz #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #kaz x inej #kanej #corporalki #grishaverse #leigh bardugo #shadow and bone #six of crows #crooked kingdom #six of crows au #soc au #soc fanfic #six of crows fanfic #fanfiction #grishaverse au #grishaverse fanfic #writing #fanfic #soc #ck #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar

[elisaphoenix13]

Spiderman And Rescue

Peter smacks against the side of the tower and groans from the excruciating pain in his side before reaching up and starting his slow trek up toward the family floor. It was a long way up and he wasn't even sure if he would make it, he barely managed to swing back to the tower after all. Normally in a situation when he was as wounded as he was, he would ask Karen to call one of his parents and wait for them to come help, but after being impaled and knocked around, his suit went offline. Which meant Karen was offline. Peter knew he couldn't sit still and hope that help would come, he already lost too much blood. So he applied a compression web and swung home. It hurt like hell and he almost passed out from the shots of pain that coursed through his body, but he managed. Now he just needed to finish climbing the tower.

Easier said then done. Not only was his blood making it hard to keep a grip on the glass, but the sky decided that it was the opportune moment to take a royal piss. The small silver lining the rain provided was that it would wash away the blood trail that Peter was leaving behind. He climbed little by little, his vision slowly filling with black spots as he made his way to the balcony, but as he reached up to finally grab the railing, his body gave out on him. As the rest of his vision darkened, he felt himself fall away from the tower and free fall toward the ground. The last thing he saw before falling unconscious was a blue and silver suit diving for him.

________________________

Harley barely caught Peter in time. He was further down the tower when he caught a glimpse of his brother climbing the side of the tower through the windows, and he raced upstairs to the floor with the balcony when he caught sight of red. Of blood. He made it to the railing just as Peter did and reached down for the younger's questing hand, but then Peter fell back before Harley could grab his hand.

"PETER!" He screams through the downpour.

His next reaction was to dive over the railing after he activated his nanotech bracelet, the Rescue suit covering his body. The moment he caught Peter, he flew back up to the balcony as quickly but carefully as possible. Peter's blood was already spreading across his armor, the rain washing it away as quickly as it appears.

"SARA! FRIDAY! Somebody, I don't care! Get Mom and Bruce up here! It's really fucking bad!"

He drags Peter inside and out of the rain, and when he reaches over to disengage Peter's Spiderman suit, Harley's AI stops him.

"Don't! It's his only chance of surviving at this point!" She says just as a gateway fizzles next to them and Stephen steps through with Bruce.

Harley was pretty sure he would have been shoved aside if he didn't back away by himself with the way Stephen and Bruce knelt next to his dying brother. Bruce checked his pulse and then Stephen used his magic to carry Peter through the gateway that led back to the med-bay. It closed directly behind the two doctors before Harley could follow, so the teen had to race down on the elevator and arrive just in time to watch them place Peter in the Cradle.

It was worse than Harley thought and he already knew it was bad. The Cradle was only used strictly for regeneration purposes. Peter had his healing factor, but his injury must have been bad enough to need extra help. Harley watches as Stephen raises the palm of his hand to his forehead as Bruce says something he can't hear, and the sorcerer responds with a single sob. It was enough to have Harley leave the med-bay and take the elevator down to the lab.

"SARA, bring up the video feed of Peter's last fight." He demands and a video starts playing on one of the screens. He watches from Peter's point of view as he jumps around some guy in a large rhino looking suit until the Rhino chucks something at him. Peter was obviously stunned long enough for the Rhino to charge at him and impale his horn into his side and then the screen blacks out. "Where's the rest of it?"

"That attack shut down Spiderman's suit. Karen is still offline."

"Upload any data on that guy to my suit. I'm going after this asshole."

"You will do no such thing." Stephen says from the door and Harley whips around to stare at him incredulously.

"WHAT?! I won't just sit around-"

"Harley, please!" The sorcerer snaps. "I already have one child in intensive care...please don't make yourself a second." He says quietly.

Stephen walks over to the couch and sits on it heavily as he leans forward to place his head in trembling hands. They were shaking more so than usual and that only meant that the sorcerer was scared. Harley clenches his fists in frustration and inhales deeply before releasing both his breath and his hands.

"Will Peter be okay?"

"...we don't know." Stephen admits quietly.

"Is anyone going to do something about the guy that did this?"

"Show me the video."

Stephen stands up and joins Harley at the screens as the teen asks SARA to replay the recording, and cringes the moment Peter gets impaled. When the screen blacks out again, the sorcerer sighs and rubs his eyes. It was then that he declared that he would send Steve, Bucky, and Quill out to track down the Rhino to take care of. Harley didn't care who as long as the job was done.

And boy was it done. Quill could have easily taken care of Rhino himself, but Steve and Bucky were there to try and keep him from going berserk. After Rhino was taken care of, the Avengers took shifts sitting in the med-bay with Peter. Tony shut himself in the lab when he wasn't with Peter to repair his suit and Stephen had to be forced out of the med bay on multiple occasions and be told to rest. Harley was between helping Tony, sitting with Peter as he recovered in the Cradle, and keeping Diana busy when Cassie spent some time of her own in the med-bay. Diana wanted to visit as well, but Stephen didn't want her to see Peter the way he was now.

It took three days for the Cradle to repair Peter's body enough for him to be safely taken out of it, and that was when everyone sighed with a little bit of relief. The teen wasn't quite out of the woods yet, but he definitely had better chances now. He wasn't breathing by himself yet, but at least he didnt have a gaping hole in his abdomen. His healing factor could take care of the rest.

Diana was finally allowed to see Peter when he was taken out of the Cradle and placed in a bed. She of course cried a little bit when she saw them, but then she wiped her eyes and sat on the bed with a book and read to him. She was convinced Peter could hear them and didn't want him to be bored. Everyone else followed her lead and either talked directly to him, or to each other if anyone shared a shift just so he didn't feel alone. Assuming Dia was right and he could hear them.

Peter woke up three days after they took him off the machines that had been helping him breathe, and it was during Bucky's shift. Harley was with him keeping him company while they watched a movie, and since it was a movie they had both seen before, they were pointing out unrealistic things and other nonsense. They didn't even notice when Peter woke up at first since he didn't make a single sound, but Bucky happened to look back at him a couple minutes later and jumped up when he found the boy's eyes open and a little glazed over.

"Bambi!"

He and Harley rush to separate sides of the bed and Peter barely manages a grunt when Harley grabs a glass of water with a straw and holds it up for Peter. The younger teen drinks slowly until he weakly pushes his brother's arm away, and Harley puts the cup back down on the nearby table as Bucky asks FRIDAY to tell Bruce, Stephen, and Tony that Peter woke up. It didn't take more than a couple of minutes for all three of them to rush into the room and for Bruce to check his vitals and his injury while Tony and Stephen asked him simple questions. Did he know where he was? What was two plus two?

What was the last thing he remembered?

Peter furrows his brows. "The Rescue suit." He clears his throat when his voice comes out raspy and Stephen grabs the cup of water to hold out for the teen to drink.

"Yeah, well, your brother was in the Rescue suit. He technically saved your life twice. Once from becoming a stain on my doorstep, and the second time being the general fact that he saw you and called for help." Tony says. "Mom said he was about ready to go after Rhino."

Harley sniffs with disdain. "Thanks for talking about me like I'm not here...and no I didn't confront him." The teen says when Peter releases the straw from his mouth and opens it to say something. "I didn't even make it out of the lab. Mom sent Quill, Steve, and Bucky."

"He gave us a bit of trouble." Bucky says from the wall he settled against when the parents first came in. "Let me just say that Quill is a lot stronger than I thought. As in, he grabbed the guy, and threw him over his shoulder and down the street."

Peter's eyes widen and a long moment of silence passes. Everyone in the room had either fought the guy or at least saw the video of Peter's fight, so it was a well known fact that the Rhino was not something one threw around. The only other person who could probably do what Quill did was Thor.

Tony then asked the question that some of the team had been wondering. "How is Thumbelina not dead?"

"Self control." Both Stephen and Bucky answer.

"He has that?" Tony asks dramatically and Bucky laughs.

"Anyway, do you feel up to seeing Diana?" Stephen asks Peter.

"...sure. For a little bit."

"Before I forget, I'm fixing your suit. The guy somehow managed to damage the part that sends a distress signal to either FRIDAY or Victor. Mom and I never got pinged when Karen went offline." Tony says with a frown.

"I guess it's a good thing I didn't sit still then." Peter says quietly.

"The one time I'm glad you didn't."

Bruce finishes looking Peter over while Stephen leaves to gather Diana, and Bucky leaves to make dinner for everyone. Then Tony leaves to go grab some fresh clothes for Peter when the teen complains about feeling gross, and when Harley turns to follow, Peter calls out for him to wait. Harley turns and walks back over to his brother's bedside and Peter holds up a fist.

"Thanks."

Harley smirks and the two do their special handshake. Thankfully this one not as elaborate as the one Peter and Ned had. "It's like I said, someone's gotta look after you."

Peter returns the smiles albeit weakly. "That's what parents are for."

"And older brothers."

"You know, I vaguely recall this conversation."

"Well that's a good sign." Bruce says from across the room.

#ironstrange #stephen strange #tony stark #supremefamily #mama bear stephen strange #peter parker #harley keener #diana stark strange (oc) #bucky barnes

[justoneday-namjoonii]

Midnight Circus  pt.6

☾pairing: Jungkook(?)♡→  reader ☾genre: Angst. Fluff. Mature content. bad boy summer fling au ☾summary: “You’re ten times hotter this summer, you know that?” ☾Series status statement: “I don’t know how this happened...” a/n: ok so its a little scattered and I know I took forever but I hope the finish product makes up for the lateness^^

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | coming soon

“Can anyone tell me how many paintings by Claude Monet titled Water Lilies?”

Art appreciation. It seemed interesting enough so you went ahead and signed up for it. The professor had the class study, Claude Monet, this week, you knew the answer but decided to give the other students a chance. Speaking of the other students, Taehyung, Beah, and Namjoon attended this class as well. You sat somewhere near the front of the class, resting your head on your propped up forearm—your mind was elsewhere.

“Yes?” You glanced to the right to see Taehyung raising his hand.

“250 oil paintings.” 

“Correct. Can anyone tell me why?” He gave the class the opportunity to answer the easy question and you took it upon yourself to answer—you slowly raised your hand.

“Yes, Mr. Kim?” Namjoon must’ve raised his hand faster than you because now the class was curious about what he had to say.

He cleared his throat. “Monet was fond of his flower garden at his home in Giverny, it was the inspiration for a lot of his work, it was the center of his focus in last thirty years of his artistic life.” The information flowed off of his tongue like a poem made to mesmerize all who overhear.

“That is correct. Now class. . .”

He trailed off into something else but you were more interested in the buzz of your phone, it was a message.

[1:40] Namjoon: You knew the answer to that, we were just talking about it earlier.

You slowly eased out your phone so that it wasn’t in full view of the professor and typed slowly.

[1:40] You: yes but u raised your hand first and didnt give me time [1:41] Namjoon: ill make sure to give it to you next time then

When you felt the teacher was observing your way, you tucked your phone away, not to be answered until the class is dismissed. The clock was on your side today because before you knew it, the professor released you all early c=for a change. Students fleed the class like ants run to sugary spilled soda, they all had somewhere to be but you preferred to take your sweet time. You easily slid the notebook in your backpack and grabbed your bottle as you slung the bag over your shoulders.

“Miss L/n,” Your professor called out to you as he was exiting the classroom.

“Yes, professor?”

“I didn’t get to respond to your email but I thoroughly enjoyed your research paper, it was well organized and you presented your information eloquently.”

“Oh, thank you.”

“Keep up the good work.” The middle-aged man smiled as he cleaned off the dry erase board. You smiled, walking out of the classroom with less weight on your shoulders.

“Hey,” A familiar voice came from somewhere behind you and you looked back to see Namjoon, walking a bit faster so he could stroll beside you. “are you and Jen, Taehyung, and Beah still on for studying for this evening? If so, I can still help you guys out.”

“Uh, yeah,” You did have a pretty big test coming up, “I probably should.”

“Good. I have a paper to finish so I’ll head over there now.” 

“Alright, tell everyone I’ll be there soon, I need to get a book from the library.” You bid him farewell as he walked out through the exit.

You walked through the campus, passing by the library because apparently both of you needed to pick up a book for your classes. The sun shined through the campus, the warmth cascaded within the building and created a tranquil atmosphere for the busy students that scattered throughout the school. Since the book you were looking for had nothing to do with the one he was looking for, you went to different corners of the library.

Namjoon peeked through the bookshelves, searching for the book. He found it easily but he waited around, recognizing that you were still searching for yours. 

“Where is it?” You mumbled, still not finding the book.

“Y/n,” You felt hands on your shoulders and you turned to see who it was, “I haven’t seen you in a good minute.” Hoseok. You completely forgot that he used to work in the bookstore, you didn’t know he still hung out here.

“Oh my gosh, Hoseok.” You beamed, embracing him. “Hi, it’s so nice to see you again, how have been?” 

“Good, my schedule is pretty busy this semester. I haven’t had a lot of free time lately.” He spoke but you were distracted by his unfailing beauty. He was glowing, a sweet smile and a kind expression resting on his face. “Are you looking for anything in particular? I used to work here so I might as well help you out.”

“Thanks, do you know where- What’s the name of it again...” You reached into your pocket for the piece of paper that you wrote the book title on. “That’s what I’m looking for.” He inspected the paper.

“Ah, I know where this is. It’s over here.” He began to walk off somewhere and you followed him. Hoseok had always been so sweet and kind, he and Jimin went to the same dance studio you went to. He worked as a part-time instructor there until he could get transferred to the school he really wanted to study dance at.

“Here you are.” He gestured to the bookcase.

“Thanks, Hobi.” 

“No problem, I’ll see you later.” 

He waved goodbye. You went to the counter to purchase the book, it took a minute or so and you were out of the store and going to your car so you could get to the cafe where everyone was probably waiting on you.

“Hey...” She nudged his bare shoulder, the heat of his skin sent a nauseating spiral of guilt, shame, and discomfort to the pit of her stomach. “My mom will be home in an hour, you have to go...” She pulled the duvet up to cover her chest, he was slowly coming to. She nudged his warm arm again, this time with a little more force. “Jungkook, get your clothes on...” 

His eyes fluttered open upon the call of his name. Typical—he was waking up in another unfamiliar bed, wearing nothing but boxers and a sinful scent. “What?” He seethed, already annoyed by her nagging voice and visible attitude. 

“You have to go, my mom will be home soon...” She stammered, fumbling through her drawer for some clothes to throw on to cover herself. Jungkook narrowed his brow as he sat up to gather himself, he replayed what took place between them and sighed. What is this, the fifth or sixth person this week? He decided to stop counting after this one. He went to the floor to gather his discarded clothes from last night and slipped them on without a word. The brunette, on the other hand, was your classic suburban-nonconformist-chick who won’t show gratitude to the parents who provide for her. He’s not the first guys she’s had over, she knew the drill too well. She wasn’t his ideal pick either. She was a bit too common for his taste, a little obnoxious, but the night was ending quickly and he didn’t have time to be picky. Her clothes were easy off and that’s all he required at the time.

When he glanced at the girl, she was getting situated to go to the shower and for the life of him, he couldn’t remember her name. He stared at her as he tied his shoes, trying to remember, Shelby, Shannon, Sarah, Stephanie? Something with an S...

”Do you have any Tylenol?” He massaged his temples as he was on his out of her bedroom, he had a little bit of a hangover.

“Yeah,” She ran to her purse, searching for the little bottle, “here.”

He took the bottle and shook it lightly to get on little pill out. He gave it back and nonchalantly made his way towards to the front door, her heart began to plummet into her stomach—what had she done?

“Wait,” She voiced shyly, “will I see you again?”

He laughed, cracking the door to stand in the doorway. “Maybe.” He left her with that.

That meant she wouldn’t see him again, not here, not with her.

He drove, not really biased on where to but he didn’t want to go home. The rumbling of his stomach indicated that he needed something to eat. He went to the nearest fast food place to get a burger and fries, y’know, something healthy. He was supposed to be in class but he assumed that but by the time he gets there, it’ll already be over.

Oddly enough, he went home.

To his surprise, his mom was home and she had a lot of questions.

”Where were you?” She was at the kitchen island with a mug of coffee in hand, the demeanor of a brute criminal interrogator.

“A friends.” He shrugged, casually walking off to his bedroom.

“Get back over here.” She hissed—that was the,’if you know what’s good for you, you better get back over here’ voice, he willed himself to tread lightly now. “I come home, working hard to provide for our family and when I get back you’re not even here. And I’m not stupid Jungkook, don’t think for a second that I’m buying that ‘I was at a friends house crap.’”

“Does it matter where I was? You and dad are never here anyway, so why should I be?” He frowned. “Why do you suddenly care?”

“Because you’re my son and I love you.” She sighed when his jaw clenched with the darkening of his eyes. “I know it’s not easy, and I wish I hadn’t brought you into this but there’s nothing I can do. You said you didn’t want to live with your dad, why are you giving me such a hard time?”

“I’m giving you a hard time?” He had to refrain from going off on her and the only way he could do that was if he left this house. Without a word, he ran upstairs to gather a few things in a backpack and when he came back downstairs she just stared at him. He had always been like this, bad at expressing his negative emotions without hurting someone, so his solution was to leave. “I’ll be back in a few days.” He stated.

“Jungkook there is no reason for you to-”

“I need my own space right now and I’m not in the mood for a lecture, mom.” He left the house, his mother not really even knowing what to say or how to get her son to change his mind. And it was just that, she didn’t know Jungkook anymore, she was unaware of his daily life. She always said, ‘as long as you get good grades and don’t get anyone pregnant, you can stay under this roof.’ She felt as if he needed a bit more structure than that, but there’s nothing she can do about it now. He’s going through a rebellious phase and she’s taking the brunt of it.

Jungkook went to Yoongi’s apartment.

He let him in without hesitation and went back to his room to study.

Jungkook found refuge in that worn out couch, he had more to stress about than finals and sleep seemed to be his temporary solution. He was called into work suddenly and he grudgingly drove to the bowling alley. He spent hours fitting antsy kids and adults for worn out old rental bowling shoes.

“Over here!” Namjoon raised a hand to get your attention when you entered the cafe full of stressed students studying for finals. You walked over to your group of friends and sat beside Jennie.

“Hey, guys.” You began unloading your books on the cramped table.

“Y/n, hey, sorry to ask but do you have the notes from the professor Welsh? I couldn’t make it to class and no one had the notes from the lecture on pdf.” Jennie pushed her glasses up on her face, pencil tight in her hand.

“Yeah, I’ll send it to you.” You pulled out your computer and began going through your files, searching for the notes you worked so hard to get. When you sent it, she showed the utmost gratitude by buying you a matcha latte. You sat across from Namjoon and he was completely enveloped in his paper—being head of the class must be burdensome, having to keep your grades up to maintain the honorable title. School was always something constant in your life, without it you felt like you were a void, an empty with no purpose. You only felt like that sometimes—other times you craved freedom, to dream under the stars with smoke tainting your breath from loving on a dangerous spirit. You sort of experienced that, maybe not to its full effect but you know what it’s like to get close to boys like Jungkook and you didn’t like it—not anymore at least. 

You brought your mind back to the task at hand, your math and final project. The job they gave you was to collect the data and write the slides for the 19th-century economy. A few hours went by and the cafe was still heavy with customers, even at this hour. Suddenly, you felt something graze your ankle, someone's foot?

You looked from side to side, then right in front of you to see Namjoon grinning at his laptop. You looked at him with the sole purpose of catching his attention, but he didn’t look up, that’s when you received a message on your computer.

Namjoon: I meant to talk to you about the other night, r u okay

You furrowed your brows at the message, not immediately understanding what he was referring to. When you looked up at him he glanced at you but then he began typing something.

Namjoon: Jungkook was trying to follow you, I managed to stop him. Are you ok? 

You: Yeah I’m ok 

He titled his head, he knew that you weren’t ‘ok’ but now wasn’t the time to talk about it, your face pretty much said that it wasn’t the place or time.

“I need a break.” Beah sat her book down with a pout. “Anybody up for pizza?”

“If we go get pizza, we’ll never finish.” You tried to dismiss the idea but they weren’t in the mood to be focused and responsible anymore.

“How about we order food here?” Namjoon suggested.

“I know! Yoongi hyung is home, why don’t we take some pizza over to his place?” Taehyung proposed.

“Sounds like a plan to me.” Jennie went in on this crusade and you gave up trying to keep the studying here. Everyone began packing up their stuff and before you knew it, you were still packing up and Namjoon lingered behind.

“I wanted to ask, what did he do that made you so upset? He didn’t hit you or anything, did he?” If so, he was prepared to kill the kid. You slung your bag over your shoulder and walked out to the parking lot with Namjoon by your side. He came with Taehyung but you assumed he could ride with you to Yoongi’s.

“No, he didn’t hit me.” You reassured him, plopping down into the driver's seat. “He was mad that I was there, he just didn’t want to see me I guess...” Your words were but a mumble, not wishing to reminisce about that mistake of yours. “He also kissed me.” Namjoon made a perplexed expression. “Can you believe him? One minute he’s yelling the next he’s trying to kiss me. I slapped him and went home.“

“That’s my girl.” Namjoon giggled. “Now I know why he was so mad, you probably bruised his pride. He needed a wake-up call like that, not everyone is going to take his crap, he needs to learn that.” That fact made you smirk a bit, you felt like you had the upper hand as of now. 

“Why is he like this?...” You sounded tired like you’ve asked yourself this question before. “I don’t understand why he treats me like that...”

Namjoon had to think before giving you his answer, did Jungkook even have a reason? He assumed that the kid just acted like that because of childhood habits; he was selfish, greedy, aggressive even. “I-...I really don’t know, he’s only ever treated you this way, I think it’s just apart of his growing up process.” He scratched the back of his head in thought. “Even though he is an adult...He-”

“He saw me in the pool with Jimin, that was it!” Your abrupt outburst had Namjoon curious onto what else you had to say. 

“I don’t know what I was doing, I liked Jimin, I really did...” Your lips were turned down in a quivering frown. “I had a crush on him since forever and I never thought in a million years that he would give me the time of day, but he did, he told me that he liked me too and I was happy....” Your fingers were tight on the steering wheel, still trying to remain in control of the vehicle despite your frustration. “Jungkook kept sending these mean messages, I don’t even want to repeat the things he said, he was livid, over nothing Joon, absolutely nothing...” You stopped at the red light, holding back any signs of tears—this was nothing to cry about.

“I know you liked him. I wish it could’ve happened another way for you two but it just didn’t work out. I’m sorry I can’t help more...” This was the first time he heard how Jungkook found out about you and Jimin, now he understood a bit better. Jungkook went out there, looking for you and you were necking with one of his bestfriends—there’s the big picture. Jungkook was hurt, jealous—insecure. Something he wanted didn’t want him back, it wanted someone else. Can you imagine how it must’ve felt when he saw you, genuinely showering Jimin with affection after what you two had been doing? He was overwhelmed, he felt betrayed and used for the first time in a long long time, and that was the problem. He didn’t have the right to respond that way, you weren’t his; a few unchaste kisses and touching of bodies does not a relationship make. And Jungkook knew that. He knew that he didn’t want a bond from this and neither did you, so you and Jimin shouldn’t have been a problem. 

“I can understand why he was so angry now.” Namjoon gazed out of the window, a dispirited expression on his face. “I think for the first time in his life, his heart was vulnerable and he was no longer in control. You were tugging his heartstrings in every which direction and you didn’t even know it.” The mental picture brought a fond grin to his lips.

You blinked, attempting to process what he meant by that. “Me? I thought you were on my side here. I shouldn’t be penalized for his feeling-”

“No, no, no, I don’t mean it like that, of course, you shouldn’t. IIt’s just- Jungkook really hates feeling he’s not wanted, just like everybody else, he wants to feel desired. When he saw you- You I’m saying he felt like you were cheating on him, using him.” How were you supposed to use Jungkook? What could you possibly gain from that?

“You can’t cheat when there’s no relationship- And if it were him, he’d tell the unlucky girl to get over it because it’s not a relationship anyway. And if anything, he’s been using me. He doesn’t have the right to catch feelings but not punish me for it.” 

 “Yes, I agree, but I know Jungkook well enough to know this, his head, heart, and body are all in different spheres. He just doesn’t know how to make those three parts of himself work in unison and the result of that is situations like this.” Namjoon sighed, seeing that you two had arrived at the apartment already. “But that’s no excuse, he has to grow out of that and face the music like the rest of us.”

You two got out of the car and you ran over to help Taehyung with the pizza and Namjoon took it upon himself to knock on the door. Yoongi lazily opened the door, not phased by the sudden arrival. You helped bring the food inside and before you knew it you were plopped on the couch, forgetting everything related to finals and indulging in the cheesy, salty goodness of the pizza.

 “Hi Jungkook.” Irene. “A 7 1/2 please.” She came to the counter, looking at him like a hyena would a raw steak—he looked good to her. Jungkook knew her from around and she knew him but rarely did they interact.

“Okay.” He turned to look for the women's 7 1/2 box but it was empty. He searched around, dreading having to go to the overstock room to get them, he peeked up at her with doe eyes. “We’re out of 7 1/2′s can you do a 7 or an 8?” He raised his brows, seeing that she was smiling at him. “Well, I’m about to clock out so I’ll ask my manager to-”

“No, that’s okay.” She leaned against the counter, a grin still present on her lips. “You said you’re about to clock out, yeah? Are you busy?” Her eyes raking up and down his body, the slight bulging of his biceps under the work polo intrigued her in every way possible.

“No, why?” He countered with the crook of his brow, she followed him as he walked along the lengthy counter to go punch in his hours.

“Just curious...” Pearly whites digging into her bottom lip as he walked passed her, she followed him without clear intent. She put a hand on his chest, stopping him from walking away from her, she brought her face close to his, the proximity of closeness made him laugh—that’s what she wanted.

In a matter of minutes, they were in the alleyway between two unsuspecting buildings, classy.

“J-jungkook.” She manages to choke out through his relentless assault on her clavicle, it was more painful than anything and she wondered why he was being so forceful. When he lead her out here her stomach lurched in excitement and they were in the little corner where she was sure no one could see. “Y-you okay?” He was aggressive.

He responded with a rough nip to her neck followed by a tantalizing lick to soothe the pinch; she figured he was just in a feisty mood so she went with the flow. His hands found her bare waist and chest, not deciding on which one to seek comfort in. He was all over her, not providing her the leeway to control much but her hands. At this point, his shirt was wrinkled up and her lipstick was smeared into an abstract of lecherous hunger on her lips.

Jungkook snarled when her hand wandered up to his stomach to his chest but not close to where he wanted it. She gripped his collar to take his mouth away from her neck and have a nice long look at his deep, almost opaque orbs—he looked so intense and focused. “Are you trying to make look like I’ve been mauled? Damn.” She was referring to the love bites on her once cream-colored flesh. His cheeks were glowing a light pink when he left the heat of her neck, he was already feeling cold. 

“Why’re you in such a rush?-” He shoved his mouth against hers, swallowing her protests until they were nothing but moans—he didn’t come here to chitchat. They kissed for a little while, he easily battled her tongue into submission with his own, he would go so far as to say he was being a little nasty with it. But right now, he didn’t care what it looked like, as long as he could overstimulate himself with the feeling.

He pulled back, chest heaving lightly with a wetness coating his chin and strawberry colored lips. “Isn’t this what you wanted? Hm?” He smirked, their clothes were in shambles when he stopped to ask her. “You like this, don’t you? Shit, I know you do,” He smirked to himself, “I can see it on your face...” His hands doing their own thing to bring her to her metaphorical knees.

“Mhm.” She nodded, getting into character when his tone became authoritative and stern.

“Yeah?...” He nibbled on the cherry flavor that lingered on his lips, that’s why her lips were so bright red and plush. In the height of the moment, he clutched her jaw and slipped an index finger in the disturbingly warm cavern, because in hindsight, that’s all he was looking for out of this—warmth, he wanted to feel warm again. She bit him lightly, just applying enough pressure to grin. “Mm.” He scoffed, slipping the finger out and wiping her saliva on her clothes. “What do you want? Tell me what you want.” He demanded, wanting to hear her articulate it word by word.

“You, please.” She cooed. “I want you Jungkook, I don’t care how.” Now she sounded too desperate—but weren’t they both?

“Yeah?” He taunted with a throaty voice. “Let me hear you say it again...” He mumbled, more to himself than her. “Say it again, I want to hear you say it...” She obliged to his request, repeating over and over that he was all she wanted, craved to hear that. It triggered an influx of dopamine to his brain, it was like he was floating when he heard that one simple, yet, significant phrase, ‘I want you.’ “Fuck, turn around...” 

Warmth. 

For a moment, he felt a warmth, soft skin mangled together and he was in euphoria.

He got to feel wanted, even if it was only physical desire, and even if it only lasted for so long, he got to feel it and that had to mean something. It was satisfaction he was looking for but He hadn’t found it. When they finished, Irene clutched onto nothing when he pushed her further with an arm snaked around her stomach like a restraint. He felt a dirty, disgusting feeling—the high was over and it was time to say goodnight.

Night after night, girl after easy girl, in an attempt to fill that hollow space. Those girls would fill him to the brim for a short second just to drain him dry in seconds, and he’d do the same to them. He could have it his way, not have to lift a finger and they would swoon over him, fight each other if it meant spending their night with the midnight’s offspring. When it was all said and done, he cleaned up, fumbling to zip his pants up as Irene walked off in a hurry, saying she was supposed to be somewhere an hour ago or something like that. 

He went to his car in the back of the building and sat there dejected -- he regrets it, he felt remorse that made him want to cry and so he did. Tears escape his eyes and trickled down his cheeks. Sitting in the dark of the parking lot, sobbing into the steering wheel with trembling fingers—he felt cold again, it chilled down to his bones.

“Well, I should head home, my parents don’t want me out too late.” It was just you and Namjoon left while Yoongi was still in his room, Taehyung and Beah had gone home but you were pretty invested in this book when they left. Namjoon looked up at you from his computer. “Are you done with chapter 13?”

“Yeah, I finished it.” You began to pack up your stuff, tired and ready to go to get in your soft, cozy bed.

“Y/n, can you throw those towels in the dryer.” You heard Yoongi voice from his bedroom. “And throw those pizza boxes out.”

“This is your house Yoongi, I’m not your maid.” You grudgingly stood to your feet and went to do it anyway, it was the least you could do since he invited everyone into his place. Well, more like, let everyone invite themselves. You went to the little laundry area near the kitchen and did as he asked, Namjoon watched you with his glasses teetering at the tip of his nose.

“I guess I’ll head out too.” He announced, slinging his packed bag over your shoulder. 

“Wait, I’ll walk you to your car.” You stopped what he was doing and walked with him outside.

“Remember when you told me you’d look after me?” You spoke suddenly standing at the car door with a dreamy look on your face.

“How could I forget?” He smiled, his dimples looking as deep as the craters on the moon.

“Well, I’ve been thinking about that, a lot actually...” You twiddled your fingers absentmindedly. “You’re a really good friend, like, you care a lot about me, more so than most people.” 

“What are friends for, right? If I can’t help you in some way then what am I here for? That’s just how I think.” He crossed his arms, leaning against the car to look at you with a sweet smile. 

“Well, thank you.” You stood up on your tippy toes and pecked his cheek—he blushed immediately.

“Y-y/n?” He laughed nervously. “What was that for?”

“I don’t know, just for being you...” You were suddenly shy as he got into his car, bidding you farewell. You went back to the apartment to fold those towels for Yoongi.

Jungkook found somewhere to park and watch the lights for a little while, the tears had dried and he was calm again. He got himself together and drove back to Yoongi’s place. When he made it there, he pulled out the spare key and jiggled it in the lock before it popped open. “Hey, I’m back hyung.” Yoongi made a sound of acknowledgment. He sighed, throwing his heavy body on the couch. He noticed that there were a bunch of folded towels on the couch so he sat them on the center table. He laughed a little, he’s never seen Yoongi as the type to do laundry publicly. He was tired, even with the tv on he started to get droopy-eyed.

Someone was in the house. You had to use the bathroom before you left and you weren’t expecting anyone else to come over. Too anxious to walk out to see who it was, you slowly turned off the light and peeked out. There he was, watching tv the couch, curled up like a kid.

Why is he here? You wanted to be angry but you were more curious than anything. For a while you just watched him; he’d take a sip of water, weave his hand through his hair, habitual little things. It’s been weeks since you last saw him and you were happy about that, you were mad at him. He yelled at you and kissed you without permission, in front of a bunch of people and even tried to chase you.

After a little while, he was out cold and you took that opportunity to sneak out. You crawled out of the bathroom and into the living to get your bag, he was silent, not moving an inch as he slept peacefully. You managed to make it to the front door and you were just about to twist the mob when you felt a presence behind you, a heat. You couldn’t move, you were perfectly capable of walking out—why are you just standing here?

“You-...You left your sweater.” When you looked back he had wiped at his eyes in an attempt to hide any signs of sleep. “This is yours, isn’t it?” He stared at you, why were you over Yoongi’s, alone. “I remember you had it at the cabins.” You nodded and took the sweater, twisting the nob but not opening it yet, tear a started to well at your eyes. He’s always treated you differently, poked fun at you and made you feel out of place. He’d taunt you and try to annoy you whenever he got the chance, he wasn’t good and you didn’t want him, you didn’t want to want someone like him. You hand to chant in your mind, Ignore him, leave him, don’t say anything-

“You hurt me...” You looked back at him, he was surprised you even spoke. “I shouldn’t give you the time of day, you know that don’t you?” He scratched the back of his neck, pressing his lips together and making his dimples appear lightly, he was nervous. “You got mad at me for being around you and then you kissed me.” You frowned. “What is wrong with you!?” You shouted, probably disturbing Yoongi’s silence

He blinked and began to feel a tremendous amount of guilt weigh down on him.

“You tried to follow me, you called me a backstabbing slut, a whore...You act like I cheated on you! Like I violated something sacred when you really had no right to be jealous, we aren’t together. I am not yours, I have never been close to being yours and you know that. All we did was fool around and it didn’t mean anything to you. It shouldn’t have meant anything to me, you played with me and for some reason I let you...You don’t care about me Jungkook, you said it yourself, you just want my body, remember? You just come back for ‘the physical shit’ as you put it...you don’t even feel guilty either-”

“I screwed up.” He breathed heavily, anxious to start speaking “But just hear me out. I’m sorry, I’m sorry for everything, I was a douchebag.” His teeth sunk into his bottom lip. “I do some bad things y/n, really bad and dirty things, and when it’s done I feel sick to my stomach- I don’t know what it is, I just never get full enough, so, I do it over and over to fill myself up but I still feel empty...” You could only imagine what he meant as ‘bad things.’ “And cold...” He paused. “Even with all the bodies I’ve sunk myself in to get that warm feeling I can never get it to last, I can’t be satisfied and it’s killing me. I told you that I can’t stop thinking about you, the way you kiss, your laugh, the way you talk, it’s always in my mind-” He was just rambling now. “I’m just trying to forget you.”

“That’s really touching Jungkook.” You retorted in sarcasm.

He swallowed. “But it’s not working and I don’t know what to do. I even hooked up with a girl that once bullied you, a few girls actually...” He suddenly confessed. “When I realized it, I wanted to die. I knew you would hate me for it, you should hate me for a lot of things...”

“You’re right, I should hate you.” That physically stung him, your words were like daggers to his soul. “But I don’t, and that’s what I hate about you, Jungkook. Not that you emotionally scar me for life but because here I am, talking to you like it never happened.” And that was the truth. “We’re not lovers, we’re not in a friendship let alone a relationship, I won’t put this much emotional energy into something that’ll hurt me.”

He choked back a sob, was it really nothing to you? “I-...I don’t want to hurt you. I know I was mean but I was just upset. When I saw you and Jimin in that pool- I don’t know,” He exhaled shakily. “I felt hurt...”

“Well, I felt the same way when you yelled at me but I didn’t publicly humiliate you. Where is the connection between your emotions and your reactions? You’re not a child, you know better than to lash out the way that you do.” You were starting to sound like a mom the way you scolded him.

“I’m just asking for you to forgive me, that’s all...”

“Would that soothe your guilty conscious or something? If you get my forgiveness, what do I get, hm? I’ll be like you now, I don’t want to do anything that won’t benefit me...Doesn’t feel so good, does it?”

That was harsher than you intended.

“You get my vulnerability.” He replied timidly. “My weakness, my pain, you get to see me at my lowest...” Out of the blue, he started to cry, silently. The sight took your breath away—you had never seen him like this, absolutely vulnerable. A few tears escaped his eyes and you’re heart lurched, you were witnessing such a personal moment and you almost felt guilty. “I’m begging you...”

You started to feel terrible, he was really sincere about this. “Jungkook,” You sighed, “look, I forgive you okay? But that doesn’t mean-”

The melodic buzz of your phone interrupted the moment, it was your mom. “Hello? Sorry, I lost track of time studying, I’m on my way now.” Jungkook could hear your mom over the phone. “Love you too, bye.” You hung and tucked the phone back in your pocket. “I have to go...” 

Jungkook wiped away his tears and nodded, accepting the fact that you had to leave. You suddenly reached into your bag, searching for something until he pulled it out, his earbuds. “I uh, I never gave them back, so, here.” He extended his hand and you dropped them into his palm, was this a peace offering he thought.

“Thanks.” He looked down at his hand and slowly, out of sheer faith, he brought his face close to yours, noses getting too close for comfort. You stared him in the eye, his lips parted in desperation but you refused to quit their whine for attention. You felt your self almost meet his lips by instinct, knowing they remembered the dance they’ve done so many times at the campground. You placed a hand on his chest to deny his request though. He mentally winced at the rejection but it didn’t change a thing because, in a matter of seconds, you were out the door and he stood there alone—cold.

“Don’t forget to turn the TV off, I can’t sleep with it on.” Yoongi peeked out of his room nonchalantly to see Jungkook walking back from the front door, he figured he’d ask later. Jungkookk went to sleep on the couch, the silence lulling him into a state of peace.

You are the sun that rose again in my life The return of my childhood dreams

I don't know what this feeling is. Perhaps, I'm in a dream, are you there too? My surroundings become more and more transparent, but I still see you.

#bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #bts scenarios #bts imagines #Bts summer fling #bts summer au #bts fanfic #BTS au #jungkook #taehyung #yoongi #namjoon #seokjin #jimin #hoseok #midnight circus #its been a while #this is a bit more emotional than I intended #but eh oh well #euphoria #jungkook euphoria

[lovehelpmewrite]

The People Who Love You [1]

A/N: This is very angsty, there's a lot of abuse!triggers, rape!triggers and the like. I was really in the mood to angst so yeah. Please enjoy at your own risk, triggers and angst ahead. Also, I didn't originally intend for it but its going to be 2 parts because tumblr only allows 100 blocks I guess... I don't know the word count because I'm on mobile, and I'm hoping my keep reading works but sorry if it doesn't. Its un-beta-d, and unedited and un-spell-checked, so all mistakes are mine. Anyways, read on.

"Yeah? Seriously? That's insane. Yeah. Yeah of course! Yeah I'll let him know. Thanks Sam. Yeah, you too. See you in a bit." I hung up the phone feeling happier than i'd been in a long while. Sam had called, asking for help on a werewolf out in Nevada. When he'd asked if I was still with Tyler I assumed thats who he really wanted on the case but I was excited to see them either way.

I walked out into the living room, seeing Tyler on the couch with a beer in hand. Out of reflex I grabbed another and set it next to his feet on the coffee table. He smiled in return.

"You're too good to me," he said, giving me he full attention for a few seconds before turning back to the TV.

"So, uh, Sam Winchester called. He and Dean have a case out in Nevada they wanted our help on. Werewolves. I told them we'd check it out, what do you think?" I asked quietly.

Tyler let out a deep sigh and I turned my eyes to the corner of the coffee table.

"I think," he paused, taking a drink of his beer, "that you should have asked before you went saying yes. And that I don't like those Winchesters, too fucking uptight, and Dean always stares at you." He threw an annoyed look my way before letting out another deep breath and finishing off his beer, getting ready to open the second.

"When do they want me?" He asked, tossing the metal cap onto the table. I watched as it skidded and slid of the edge onto the floor.

"ASAP. I told them we could be out there in a few days," I answered timidly.

Tyler let out another sigh of annoyance.

"Well, go back a bag, we'll leave tomorrow and I don't want to have to wait for your sorry ass to finish up."

I nodded and stood quickly, walking into the back bedroom and shutting the door softly. I let myself smile as I packed, enjoying the thought of seeing old friends again.

- - -

"Tyler, Y/N, good to see you," greeted Dean, pulling me in for a hug that made Tyler frown. Even so, I hugged Sam as well, enjoying their familiar embraces.

"So, where are you guys staying?" Sam asked, hands shoved in his jeans pockets.

"The Historian, on Gibson by the diner," I answered, unable to stop the smile on my face as I spoke.

This only seemed to annoy Tyler further. Quickly he drew an arm around my waist and pulled me to him.

"Yeah, she wanted to make sure we had a good view," he joked, Sam and Dean laughing as I cringed, remembering how upset Tyler was that the neon sign from the diner was visible through our window.

"You know me, only the best," I added.

Everyone laughed but I could feel Tyler's fingers on my ribs like knives.

- - -

"To a hunt well done," Dean toasted, plinking his beer bottle against mine and Sam's. We all drank and shared a small smile, me ignoring the fact that Tyler was dancing with some girl on the dance floor.

"I gotta ask," Sam said suddenly, after several tense moments. "What's with your boyfriend?"

I flicked my eyes momentarily at the girl grinding on him before turning on my stool to face solidly at the bar.

"He's just dancing, its fine," I said monotonely.

Sam and Dean shared a look.

I absent mindedly pulled my flannel sleeves down to cover the hand mark Tyler left from this morning, when I had taken too long to get ready so he gripped me by the elbow and shoved me at the door. My shoulder still stung but I could blame that on the werewolf at least.

"What thhe fuck?" Dean said suddenly. I looked at him oddly until he pointed out a still healing bruise on my sternum, visible with my shirt unbottoned. "What is that, Y/N?"

Nervously I shoved my shirt to the side so it wasnt visible anymore.

"Haven't you ever heard of a hickey, Dean?" I laughed anxiously, sipping my beer and hoping he'd let it go. He didnt.

"That's no hickey. Did he hurt you?" Dean asked seriously, his voice low.

"What?! No! He wouldn't! It... it was my fault. I was carrying the laundry basket and not watching where I was going and he accidentally bumped it into me a little hard. Its nothing," I shrugged it off.

It was from the laundry basket, from when he shoved it at me hard enough to leave a mark. "To remind me of my place," he said.

Sam and Dean just eyed me cautiously as Tyler came back from the dance floor.

"Hey babe, lets go, I'm beat," Tyler said.

I went to argue that i wanted to stay with Sam and Dean but I knew better than to speak out in public.

"Okay. See you guys later," I said, Tyler pulling me quickly away and out of the bar.

He yanked me out into the alley and shoved me against yhe grime covered bricks, pressing kisses to my neck and chest.

"Come on baby, lets do it right here," Tyler said, unbuttoning my flannel quickly.

"Ty, no, lets just go back to the motel," I said, gently pushing at his hands on my body.

"Come on, it'll be hot. You can scream for all the bar to hear," he continued, going for my jeans.

"Ty, I said no, stop it," I said more forcefully, shoving him off me.

He stood a foot away, bewildered for a moment while blood rushed in my ears. Suddenly his hand came fast and heavy against my cheek, knocking my head to the side. I held it in shock as it heated up. Tyler seemed to be gauging my reaction to it which was fear.

He sprung forward again and spun me around, pressing my shoulders against the cold brick as he undid my jeans.

"When I say I want to fuck you, I mean it you dumb prude bitch," he growled against my hair.

I stood, helplessly pressed against the bricks as he yanked my jeans and underwear down and pulled my hips back.

The only indication I gave that I felt him was the shutter as he slid into me. My whole body was numb, the slight rocking the only thing keeping me grounded.

When he was done, he came onto the ground and pushed my hips forward in disgust, making me stumble into the wall.

"Come back when you're ready to be an obedient whore," he spat, pulling up his jeans and walking away.

I felt the shake in my hands as I slowly pulled up my underwear and struggled to button my jeans. I let myself lean against the wall a moment, pressing cold hands over my eyes and smearing tears I didn't know I was making.

I sucked in a deep breath, cleared my face and stared dead ahead. Just another day.

- - -

I realized quickly I didn't want to go back to him so soon. I didn't want to seem that desperate for him. In a spur of the moment I walked to Sam and Dean's motel room, knocking on the door before I remember deciding to. Sam answered.

"Y/N? Whats up?" He asked, voice gentle and slightly tired.

"Hey, sorry to bother you guys, me and Tyler had a little fight so I just wanted to shower here for tonight if thats okay?" I asked timidly.

"Yeah! Yeah sure, whatever you need," Sam replied, letting me in immediately.

Dean was sat up on the bed reading something when he looked up and smiled at me.

"Hey, what're you doing here?" He asked, closing the book to give me his full attention.

"Just need a shower, me and Tyler had a fight," I explained. Dean grinned.

"Finally. You should really dump that douche bag," he commented, standing and walking over to his duffle bag.

"No... we just need ti work some stuff out. I dont know where i'd be without him, he's such a better hunter than me," I said absently, not thinking twice about the words coming out of my mouth.

Sam snorted behind me, Dean sniggered.

"Sure, okay Y/N," Dean said sarcastically.

"Really, I would have died on half my hunts if he hadn't been there," I tried, more to convince myself than them.

"You're ten times the hunter he is, he can barely shoot a sawed-off. But whatever you say, sweetheart. Enjoy your shower," Dean grinned, handing me one of his shirts and a pair of boxers.

As I stood under the steaming hot water and scrubbed my skin raw, I replayed what the boys had said. How could I possibly be a better hunter than him? All he talks about is how much easier it would be for him to do his job if I wasnt around.

I shook off the thought and went back to scrubbing at my thighs viciously.

- - -

I walked out in Dean's oversize Metallica shirt, picking at one of my cuticles, mulling over my options very carefully.

"He hits me sometimes," I mumble, watching Sam and Dean scrunch up their eyebrows before looking at me.

"Huh?"

"Did you say something, sweetheart?"

I turned my eyes up, forcing myself to back eye contact.

"He hits me sometimes," I said again.

I watched as Dean's jaw set and Sam's face turned to stone.

"Not often. I mean, not really anyways. Sometimes its worse than others, especially if he's been drinking," I said, finishing the sentance looking at the ratty carpeting as the nights memories came back.

"Its usually my fault anyways, I take too long, or I forget the laundry, or I get him the wrong beer," I added, trying to justify it in my head again. My face scrunched up as his words came at me as they always do.

"You'd be nothing without me. A dead whore in a ditch somewhere. You're lucky I'm here to teach you."

"He's dead," Dean said simply.

I jumped forward quickly.

"No, dont!" I said, gripping his arm tightly as he stood. "Its fine, I can handle it," I added.

Dean's hand came slowly up to my face and I winced as his fingers ran over the spot where Tyler had slapped me.

"You dont have to," Dean said quietly.

"I love him," I replied, eyes closed. Dean let out a slow breath and stepped back from me.

"Then you better get back to him," he said sharply.

"Dean," Sam interjected, eyebrows creased in disapproval.

"No, if she loves him she can head back to his room, and when he hits her again we'll come pick her up because thats what people who love you do," Dean spoke, eyes sharp and jaw set.

I stared at him a moment longer, my throat tight before I slowly grabbed my things and opened the door. I gave one last glance to Sam whose eyes were wet with unshed tears.

I shut the door behind me and let a few tears of my own fall before I made my way back to Tyler.

- - -

I woke up to the sound of beeping next to my head and throbbing in my ribs. I groaned as I turned my head, my neck stiff and sore as well.

As I looked around at the pale green walls and the bright florescent lights, I recognized the beeping as an EKG.

I panicked, trying desperately to sit up and pull out my IV's until a nurse came in.

"Sweetie, you need to relax, you're pretty banged up," she spoke, gently pushing my shoulder back and readjusting the IV tube on my arm.

I tried to relax, looking up to the ceiling and taking deep breaths to try and stop the tears burning in my eyes.

"Good news is your boyfriend's here, said he was worried when he found out you fell down those stairs. I'll send him up," the nurse spoke kindly, patting my hand before walking out and closing the door behind her.

My throat closed up painfully, tears falling back into my hairline as I thought about Tyler seeing me after what he'd done last night.

#tw: abuse #tw: negativity #tw: rape #please dont read if you're triggered by these #sam x reader #angst #abuse #rape #read at your own risk

[inifitywar]

she is perfection //james march

pairing: james march x mute!reader 

word count: 2324

warnings: self-deprecation, low self-esteem, mention of cheating, sexual assault, swearing, mention of alcohol, light choking, physical violence, angst. 

a/n: this is a collab with the lovely @ahswitchy. our parts are separated by a simple insert line, starting with her. we hope you enjoy! x

i took one last place in the mirror before nodding my head to myself and spinning on my heels to leave mine and james’ shared room.

the dress i was wearing was pretty simple. plain, black fabric with long sleeves, the skirt resting by knees length. on my feet, just flats. even though my friends liz and elizabeth would try their best to persuade me into wearing more fancy and revealing outfits, i simply couldn't. catching people attention had always made me feel anxious, and the thought of so many eyes staring right at me made me feel sick to my stomach. 

that would be my first time joining devils night. at first i didnt want to go. but, still, james insisted so much that i ended up just accepting it. he’d always done everything for me, so why couldn't i? 

knowing i stil had 20 minutes or so left until devil’s night actually began, i decided to make my way to the bar, knowing liz would hound me later if she didn’t get to see me all dressed up. anytime i wear anything dressier than jeans and a sweatshirt liz practically coos over me because, “sweetie, with just a little lipstick and some heels, you could just about sweep any man off his feet.”

making my way through the halls, i turn a corner to find james and elizabeth. quickly, i duck behind one of the walls, hoping i wasn’t seen.

you see, despite james loving me no matter what i wear, he especially adores when i get dressed up, even if it is just with a simple dress. knowing this, i informed him that we would meet at the dinner instead of just going together, wanting to surprise him so i could see him get all flustered. unsurprisingly, he refused, insisting that we greet the guests together, with me by his side. but he also knew that he was already walking on thin ice, considering that i had barely agreed to attend in the first place, so he reluctantly complied. 

although james would never admit to getting flustered around me, i still see it. when his voice gets caught in his throat and his eyes drag up my body to meet mine. but of course, he never lets his composure fall for more than a moment before he’s already gathered himself and greeted me with a compliment that would make any woman blush. although those moments are quick, the look we share says that we both know it won’t be long before my dress and his trousers are tossed upon the carpet. 

dragging my attention back to the two, i let out a sigh relief, praising whatever higher power there is that they hadn’t spotted me. more importantly, that james hadn’t spotted me. elizabeth seeing me wasn’t really a concern. given, she’s wasn't exactly the lover i was trying to woo. 

watching them quietly, which is a routine i seem to have mastered. no doubt, owing it all to the time i’ve spent toward perfecting my body language and movement, as they are the focal points to my communication. 

seeing james and elizabeth together had never bothered me much, for elizabeth has always been one of my closest friends in the hotel and i knew she wasn’t interested in james. and don’t get me wrong, i wasn’t second guessing her intentions now, but i couldn’t help but feel something in the pit of my stomach as i watched them. 

i wasn’t close enough to hear the two but i could see them just fine. james was already dressed for devil’s night, he switched out his usual formal attire for something a bit darker and more crisp. he looked utterly handsome, even more so than usual, which is saying a lot. 

elizabeth was adorned in one of her many stunning gowns. i couldn’t help but glance back down at my dress and compare the two. sure, my dress was simple, but i had thought it was elegant. but looking at elizabeth’s gown was starting to make me second guess my choice of attire. i mean hell, she wasn’t even trying. she wore prada on her lazy days and here i was, thinking i went all out, wearing a plain black dress and flats to james’ most important event of the year. even james was taken with her gown, or rather, what was underneath. 

an unfaithful man was something james would never be, i knew this as a fact. but that didn’t stop his eyes from roaming about her figure. i could see elizabeth roll her eyes at him, clearly uninterested, confirming what i already knew to be true. 

they continued to talk and although i couldn’t hear them, i had no doubt her voice sounded like honey. i mean, the woman could quote a book about politics and still make it sound sexy. how is that even possible? 

taking a deep breath, i leaned back against the wall, letting myself slide down until i was finally just sitting. thoughts filled my mind, some were of betrayal, but mostly just insecurity. my thoughts of betrayal were immediately followed by thoughts of guilt. after all, it wasn’t like he actually cheated on me or did anything wrong. all he did was look at her, and how could he not? she was alluring in every aspect, the way she looked, the way she smelled, the way she moved, the way she felt, the way she talked. she was, in theory, his perfect match. 

“dearest? what are you doing on the floor in a dress?” 

suddenly, my thoughts froze as i noticed james’ black dress shoes planted in front of me. 

i could feel my cheeks burning at the awkward sensation of getting caught in such a...humiliating position.

“darling, how come you are not ready yet? the guests are about to arrive, and you are still not dressed properly!” james mumbled as he reached a hand out to me.

i felt my heart drop as his words roamed about my mind, replaying over and over again in a cruel, twisted form.

how come you are not ready yet?  

i thought i looked better than usual, but my temporary self-love had been crushed into pieces and now everything was scattered all over the floor. my feelings. my heart.

my gaze remained locked on his shoes as the unshed tears started to fill my (y/e/c) eyes.

“dearest?” james called again and gently touched my arms, frowning when i flinched away from his touch. “what is this nonsense!?”

he sunk his fingers in my skin and forcefully pulled me up so i was properly standing in front of him with my back pressed against the wall.

“now now, head right back to our suite and change into some lavishing, elegant dress.” he smiled and pointed his chin towards the countess. “perhaps, you might wish to use elizabeth as a reference.”

i felt my breath hitching, as if i was drowning myself in a damned mix of feelings. bitterness, hatred, sadness, jealousy…my body reacted as soon as my husband had finished his sentence.

my muscles tensed under his touch and the tears drifted down my cheeks like an overflowing sink. james’ eyes got wide as he tried to understand the situation, for he seemed lost. and that's probably what had hurt the most.

he just didn't know he'd said something hurtful…

james leaned forward and hugged me tightly, resting his chin on top of my head. my lips contorted in anger, and almost instantly, i brought my fists to his chest, frantically shoving him away from me, my hands colliding with his aimed wall of muscles.

he backed off, startled, his head slightly cracked to the side.

“my de-” as he tried to approach me again, i lifted one hand to stop him, which worked.

“fuck you.” my hands trembled in emotion as i signed.

james furrowed his eyebrows and straightened his broad shoulders. before he could say anything to protest, i started to sign again.

“take your queen with you, then.” i pointed my index finger at the countess, who held her chest as she witnessed our fight. “i am not good enough for you, anyway.”

i pushed him out of the way and scrambled out of the lobby with my face hid behind my hand. i quickly got into the elevator, instantly pressing the button to my floor.

before the golden doors were closed, i could hear the conversation between james and elizabeth…

“you fucked up, james. you really did. she was actually already ready. she just wanted to hear a compliment from you. you should hear yourself...what you said to lovely (y/n) was mean.”

“oh my goodness...what have I done?”

---

i stumbled out of the elevator into the dimly-lit hallways of the sixth floor, the tears staining my eyes turning my vision blurry, as my body shook with the cry emerging from my soul.

i brought my small arms to wrap around my pathetic frame out of instinct, as i suddenly felt the cold hitting me.

suddenly, i felt a large hand grasping my bicep and pulling me into a big wall of muscles. i gasped out of shock, my eyes unconsciously shooting up to meet bright blue orbs.

john lowe.

i could tell he was drunk by the way his eyelids were hanging slightly, and a little smirk was plastered across his lips. unconsciously, i tried to pull my arm away, but his grip was too tight.

“why are you crying, [Y/N]? has someone hurt you?” john reached his free hand to hold my other arm.  

i hung my head and shut my eyes. he shook me slightly to get my attention, making my heart race.

“it's nothing.” I sheepishly signed, hoping it'd convince him.

john shook his head and pulled me into his arms, tightly wrapping his arms around my waist. i tried to squirm away, but he simply put more strength into the embrace.

“shhh, don't waste your energy, [Y/N]. i gotcha, and i won't be letting you go…” john’s voice had gained an incredibly dark tone all of the sudden, which caused the hairs on the back of my neck to raise. “you are upset because james keeps chasing after his former slut.” i gulped, trying my best to hold back the tears, that i am positive he knew i was holding. “hmm?” he tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear. “you're hot, [Y/N]. you being mute...it kinda turns me on, you know?” a single tear had slipped down my cheek. “it means I can do whatever I want with you…”

right after he finished his sentence, he turned on his heels and shoved me, causing me to trip and hit my back against the hallway red wall, ripping a gasp out of me. john was quick to pin me there by grabbing my throat.

“you squeak, huh?” he whispered in my ear, seeming unfazed by my countless attempts at kicking him or shoving him off. “it’s not beautiful when they squeak, [Y/N]...”

when i tried to kick him again, he looped his arms underneath my thighs and lifted me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. the tears were now dropping freely from my [y/e/c] as he forcefully grinded his clothed bulge against me, placing disgusting sloppy kisses on my neck.

his hands were everywhere...

and i knew, that no matter how many showers i took after that, they'd never be enough to wash away all of the remnants of john lowe’s putrid.

“fuck…” he grunted as he dug his filthy nails in my breasts.

he was implacable. he was like a wild animal, yielding to the profane and animalistic carnal desire, which was only being increased by the absinthe running through his veins, intoxicating his system.

though john was not the most ferocious predator…

i gasped in surprise when he was suddenly yanked away from me. i wrapped my arms around myself as i stared at my savior.

it was james…

“ja-” john started, but he was cut off by my husband’s fist colliding with his jaw. john instantly brought his hand to hold the spot.

“what was this nonsense!?” james practically howled, his shoulders tense, his jaw clenched, his face red...john was in a lot of trouble. before he could answer, james grabbed the collar of his jacket and slammed him against the wall.

“you. shall. never. put. your. disgusting. hands. on. my. wife. ever. again.” with each bitter word, james gave john a punch on the face. by the time he was done, the detective was lying unconscious on the floor.  

james punched the wall in front of him, still completely outraged, causing me to flinch. i forced myself to walk towards him, because suddenly all of the rage i held towards him had melted. hesitantly, i placed my hand on his broad shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze to catch his attention.

as he let his gaze wander down my baffled frame, his eyes softened.

“darling, forgive m-”

i pressed my index finger against his lips before he could finish his sentence. i wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek against his chest. james didn't hesitate to hug me back. i cling to him, digging my nails into the black fabric of his suit.

“dearest, i am taking you back to our suite,” he whispered as he stroked my hair.

to his surprise, i shook my head and pulled away. heading towards john’s limp body, my lips trembled as i took in his defeated form. i shot james a quick glance over my shoulder. my eyes had acquired a sinister darker shade.

i turned on my heels so i was facing my husband.

“i need rope.” i coldly signed. “and a sledgehammer, please.”  

as his brain processed what was roaming my mind, a devious smirk broke through his face. clearing his throat, james bounced on his heels with his head slightly cracked to the side.

“splendid, darling! splendid!”

#american horror story imagine #james patrick march #evan peters #american horror story hotel #james march x reader #ahs imagine #american horror story #ahs hotel #james march imagine #james march #american horror story fanfic #ahs one shot #ahs fx #james march one shot #evan peters imagine #james fluff #james angst

[mandaloriangf]

reasons why detroit become human makes no goddamn fucking sense beyond just the shitty allegory (aka i nitpick the fuck out of this game)

captain allen refuses to give connor any information about daniel despite this being a hostage situation and connor is there to diffuse it

also allen says that if connor doesnt take care of it he will and if he could why didnt he??

connor can reconstruct crime scenes with so little information that theres no way he could come to his deduction. for example in the first chapter he figures out that the father was holding something when daniel shot him despite there being NO WAY he could know this

theres segregation despite the fact that androids are servants to humans??? how are androids supposed to work for humans if they’re barred from entering certain places??

TEMPORARY PARKING????????????

unemployment is at 35% yet the economy is booming????

unemployed people blame androids for stealing their jobs despite the fact that androids did not get a choice and were made to do certain jobs. their anger should be directed toward cyberlife

markus shows emotion and has a distinct personality before becoming deviant like why does he even need to become deviant when he clearly already is??

carl’s on the nose monologuing. 

carl says lets see where we left off and when markus takes down the tarp theres a finished painting. carl makes like five strokes lol. 

he also makes the same “oh my god” no matter what markus paints

PRESS X TO SADNESS

how does todd afford kara and alice when he doesnt have a job

and why does he live on ethan mars’ street 

and the biggest issue - ALICE IS AN ANDROID??????????

seriously how do android children work? whats the point???? if people hate androids why would they pay money to take care of one????????????????????

honestly how do they work? because alice can sleep but she doesnt eat????? and shes not gonna age so what happens to child androids? do they just have their memories wiped and get bought by another parent????

and if alice is an android, why does todd say kara needs to help with alice’s homework? she doesnt go to school! its addressed in the same fucking chapter!

and why doesnt alice saying anything to kara like hey stop trying to ask me if i want food i dont eat because im a fucking android

also kara figures out that alice is an android at the very beginning yet just ignores it?? i guess??????

and alice has a picture in her keepsake box of todd, his wife, and his biological daughter?? why???????? kill me

todd leaves his drugs in the laundry detergent, makes kara do the laundry, and then gets mad when she finds the drugs

HE MAKES HIS ROBOT TURN ON HIS ROOMBA LSAKDJFLKSJDFLKJSDF

no one does anything when connor enters a bar that doesnt allow androids

also its never explained in game (i think) why connor does the coin trick. i suppose it can be up to the player (i see it as a nervous habit/fidget device but you could also argue its for recalibration)

no one checks the attic of carlos’ house??? and his android hid up there for THREE WEEKS????????????

connor is designed to work “harmoniously with humans” but they gave him a forensics lab on his tongue so he literally just puts blood in his mouth in a crime scene alsdjflsjflajsdlfjdlj

kara serves alice dinner and alice actually sits there but she wont eat BECAUSE SHES AN ANDROID

the guy that comes on the bus doesnt bat an eye when he sees an android in the human section of the bus (i almost threw up typing that)

leo can survive that????????

carl doesnt try to reason with the cops before they shoot markus

why do deviants self destruct in stressful situations? we dont know. we dont fucking know. 

connor can show genuine compassion to carlos’ android but doesnt seem bothered by it????

why is there such an extensive android scrapyard? first of all theres android resale shops (yuck) and parts are probably expensive, plus androids have existed for what? ten years at the most? theres no way cyberlife would just allow perfectly good android parts to be thrown away this makes no fucking sense

MARKUS CAN JUST PULL OFF HIS LED LIKE ITS A STICKER

A STICKER

seriously if its that easy whats the point? they already dress androids a certain way, why have the led except to know what androids are thinking? and if theyre thinking dont they have some level of free will?? (for example kara’s turns red when todd threatens her)

no one recognizes kara despite being a relatively common model like yeah she eventually changes her hair and clothes but she’s still got the same face lkadjfalsjdfljsdlfj

connor is unfazed when he’s shot but looks like he’s in pain when gavin punches him??? 

connor is able to get a confession from carlos’ android but can’t make small talk asdjflskjdfljdf

the whole chapter where markus finds jericho doesnt like have a lot wrong its just REALLY tedious

though the jump scares are stupid

ra9 is constantly referenced (particuarly in connor’s story) but doesnt go anywhere. at all. unless i missed something. but as far as i know its never explained who ra9 is. 

(i think its markus)

the deviant in the pigeon filled apartment is just chilling in the attic? why do androids always stay in the same place instead of escaping????

the androids in jericho are really just hanging out in an abandoned, rusting ship doing nothing. like theyre shutting down bc they dont have blue blood and incompetents but no one thinks to go get any until markus rallies them. 

also what is up with lucy? why does she talk like she can see the future

THE ENTIRE ZLATKO CHAPTER HAPPENS AT ALL

no seriously!!!!! you expect me to believe kara would just go to the address given to her by some random garbage collector android in the middle of the night which leads to a creepy house with a creepy guy with BLUE BLOOD ON HIS FINGERS who wants to take kara into the basement alone to remove a tracker she clearly doesnt have??????????????????????? she would’ve just booked it

KARA ACTUALLY GETS IN THE MACHINE AND IS SURPRISED ZLATKO IS GOING TO ERASE HER MEMORY

that android that says “whos the real monster” PLEASE MR CAGE MY NOSE IS SORE

connor just fucking breaks the window and jumps in alflskdjflskjfljsdljfkdsfljldsafskdf

putting hank under cold water sobers him up somehow

the game thinks it needs to spell out for me in actual letters on the screen that hank is suicidal despite the fact that you find him unconscious on the floor with alcohol and a gun AND he says he was playing russian roulette. 

connor petting sumo is cute but sumo looks like he’s from a ps2 game

markus magically develops the ability to “convert” androids so to speak. 

im telling you, he’s ra9

the whole eden club thing is very...icky

like the androids are literally put in tubes like wtf

the tracis have a relationship despite club policy of wiping memories every two hours

also im pretty sure they have the same face...?? why is this not addressed more 

hank hates androids but likes it when connor spares them?

kara, luther, and alice dont just stay in the car for the night

luther brings up that theres something off about alice but gets interrupted. this is not the first time it happens. it happens THREE TIMES in total before the reveal she’s an android

the jerrys break the windows like zombies and then are like “dont shoot we come in peace”

the carousel scene is cute but where did the power come from???

connor starts showing signs of deviancy but doesnt notice it??? and amandas just like “stop it” and does nothing about it saljdflsjdflsjkdf

markus does the fake phone call right in front of the person he’s calling

who brought the box up to the bathroom? was it the deviant that connor can interrogate???? explain pls

pick up the bag. carry the bag. put down the bag. open the bag. kill me. 

THEY GET OUT ONTO A WINDOW WASHING LIFT BUT THEN RAPPEL UP?????????????????

a giant screen that says rise as markus and north are going up the building

markus removes his skin for the broadcast (ew) to conceal his identity BUT IT REVEALS HIS SERIAL NUMBER THAT CONNOR LATER SCANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

north straight up wants to murder other androids for android freedom

no one finds simon on the roof unless connor goes up there

no one hears connor and the deviant fighting in the kitchen and no one hears connor calling out for help

rose is literally just 2038 harriet tubman

she compares what is happening to androids to what happened to black people in the past yet david cage expects me to believe this game isn’t about racism

kara believes that they will find refuge in canada because there are no android laws there, however the reason they dont have android laws is because CANADA HATES ANDROIDS JUST AS MUCH AS THE US

she has literally no reason to believe they’ll be able to survive in canada. theyd have to act like the cullens and move around all the time. 

ntm if androids and their parts aren’t being manufactured, if anything happens to kara, alice, or luther theyre fucked!

markus had to choose between two very black and white options: violence or pacifism. i have a HUGE problem with how this is done bc being peaceful results in the “good” ending while being violent results in the bad “ending 

(and for the record, going with a violent revolution can still result in freedom for androids. its just a LOT harder to keep everyone alive)

basically it completely misunderstands how real life oppression works and assumes that if a marginalized group is peaceful, public opinion will go up

thats not how it fucking works dipshit cage

kamski is literally just a weird combination of oscar isaac in ex machina and jared leto in blade runner 2049

like he’s left so ambiguous that you can’t even come to your own conclusion

connor can remark that chloe is pretty and seems sincere but doesnt question himself????

if you choose not to shoot chloe, you get nothing. you either have to replay the chapter and shoot her or look it up yourself. and im not fucking shooting her.

markus and north become “lovers” during a normal conversation 

seriously. when it happened my mom and i were like ???????????????

yet markus can’t romance simon despite having more chemistry

and on that topic why can’t kara romance luther???? they have a lot of chemistry too.

the freedom march. just. ugh.

like markus really leads a bunch of androids down a street shouting “EQUAL RIGHTS” lkjasldfjlakjfjldf

markus evolves to the point where he can just look at androids and convert them like what

north and josh clearly both have a death wish

if i have to hear “we were going to crack the case” one more time i will kill david cage myself. do cops even talk like that?

gavin just straight up tries to murder connor????

THEY START PUTTING ANDROIDS IN CAMPS?????????????????? AS IF THE REST OF THE GAME WASN’T BAD ENOUGH????????????????????????

kara finds out alice is an android and luther has to spell out all her feelings for her??? like why would she stop loving alice skalfsjdlfkjdlfj theyre both androids

the fact that connor even has a machine story line

carl just straight up dies while markus is venting about his oppression asdjfsjflskjflkejiofjeijfoejflkjsflsj

we dont get any kind of resolution to connor going deviant. he just suddenly is. how does he feel about it? who cares!

“ask us something only the real connor would know”

why is that human couple with the baby so upset about not getting out of detroit? theyre human. they’ll be fine. i feel no guilt in taking their tickets.

alice can arguably forgive todd as he explains he just wanted to prove he’s a good dad. boo hoo. he’s still a dick. 

connor can suddenly wake up androids too???? 

markus can really save the androids by kissing north or singing. 

like

that actually

happens

KILL ME

the president looks like hillary clinton but has a “was a celebrity with no political experience” trump like background

#theres probably a lot more but this took forever and i just want to move on ldaskjflsjflskjf

[pinkwatchblueshoes]

Garvez Fluff

Just a little quick fluff that I desperately need to see but wont. Margaritas and Mix Ups Penelope Garcia told herself not again. After an intense but platonic relationship with her best friend Derek Morgan, she knew she couldnt care so deeply for another person when they could, and eventually would, just up leave her. Penelope often beat herself up for feeling this way because she loved Savannah and little Hank but her heart could only take so much after all the losses the team had gone through. She already had enough worry for her family and team as is. Newbie was trying his hardest to chip away at her "fluffy armor" as he called it. What killed Garcia was that she found everything he tried so endearing but she always stopped herself before she got in over her head. On top of everything SSA Luke Alvez was another gorgeous strong superhero, just like Derek, yet totally different. His smile knocked her off kilter, but a man like that would never look at a woman like her she lamented. After a particularly hard case Garcia was staying late to finish paperwork so she could spend the entire weekend focused on de-stressing and relaxing, NOT thinking about the young women of this case. She was pulled away from her computer screen with a knock on her lair door. "Still here?" A familiar deep voice asked. "Obviously." She snarked back but Luke only smirked at the feisty blonde. "I would ask if I could join you but you'd just say no so I'll just take a seat anyway." Penelope only snorted knowing he was just as stubborn as she was. When she finally finished up and shut down her computer and its many screens she found him intensely studying one side of her office that held pictures of friends and family, even hand drawn pictures from Henry. Garcia could see the sadness behind his dark eyes. Was this case just as bad for him? Or was he missing someone, his family? The offer flew out of her mouth before she could stop herself. "Do you want to go get a drink?" Luke turned to her surprised. "Really? I-I would love that." "Good lets go." Penelope grabbed her purse and Luke followed closely to the elevators. As they descended to the garage level in the elevator Luke's stomach growled loudly. "I'm sorry about that." He said embarrassed. "Do you think we could go somewhere with food also?" "Soo needy Newbie." Penelope groaned but smiled letting him know she was kidding. Little did he know she was starving as well. "Well lucky for you I know a little Mexican joint with the best margaritas and they serve dinner late." When they arrived the hostess recognized Penelope right away. "Oh Miss Penny!! So good to see you. Your table is available." Penelope blushed. "Come here often?" Luke chuckled quietly. Once seated the server arrived right away. "Your usual Miss Penny? Peach Margarita and the veggie fajitas?" Penelope's face got even redder but nodded yes anyway. The server turned to Luke expectantly. "You know what? That sounds delicious. I'll have the same." Luke turned to see Penelope's shocked face. "Hey it must be good if you come here often and have a usual. I trust you." Penelope couldnt stop the warmth that the statement "I trust you" put through her, even if it was just a food choice. Plus she knew Luke ate meat and drank beer so he was going outside his comfort zone for her. "So how is miss Roxy?" Penelope started with a subject she loved. "She's good. I'm leaving her at the sitter's tonight since its so late. She misses you though. I swear she knows who the dog cookies are from when I give them to her." "Well as long as she enjoys them I'll keep making them." Penelope said with a smile. There was a silence but Luke was just smiling at her, then the food arrived breaking the moment. The conversation was surprisingly easy and comfortable for Penelope. She laughed hard when Luke told her about helping out a older neighbor with some chores who then came on to him. Being the nice guy Luke was he was stuck dodging her advances until all the chores were done. "I think I like Mrs. Corgin." "Of course you would. You'd love anyone who gave me a hard time." "True." The teasing was light and fun. Penelope appreciated his sense of humor. But what really touched her was when they accidentally got on the topic of work and this last case, he listened patiently as she described having to go through the victim's lives intimately to only see them dead in the crime scene photos feeling like a failure for not saving them. Luke reached over and held her hand as she wiped her tears with her other hand. "Its never easy when we lose victims but I know those women will be remembered because of you Garcia. You are the most caring person I know and the heart of the team. You keep us going time and time again." Penelope just stared at him with awe. After a few minutes she realized they were still holding hands and oddly she didnt want to let go. As it got later the pair reluctantly parted ways. She left him with a quick hug because if she held on longer she might not let go. Penelope spent the rest of the weekend replaying the night and actually looking forward to Monday morning. When she arrived at work she put down her purse and coat in her office and headed to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. She saw Luke talking to JJ and Spencer but as she approached with a smile Luke's eyes grew wide. Even before Penelope could say good morning Luke mumbled gotta go and quickly left. Penelope visibly deflated but quickly recovered so JJ and Spencer wouldnt ask. The snuff hurt her more than she cared to admit. "How was your guys' weekend?" JJ told her about Henry's soccer game and Spencer rambled on about a new book he read and wrote a paper on for fun. Later that morning JJ visited Penelope in her office, she leaned against Penelope's desk and asked how she was. "Fine." "Uh huh." JJ wasnt convinced. "And how was your weekend? You left before I could ask." "Fine." "Okay spill." "Its nothing." "Its not nothing." "Oh yes it is. Clearly from Luke's reaction this morning, the completely meaningless dinner we had together was nothing." "Oh sweetheart." "Please dont oh sweetheart me JJ. I know. I know that I got my hopes up and I knew it was stupid to do so yet here I am again. A guy like that would never be interested in a girl like me. Dont worry JJ, I'll be fine." "You need to talk to Luke." Before Penelope could respond her computers and her phone chimed indicating a case. Penelope gave the team the details of the case. Prominent local figures were being kidnapped, killed, and left in public areas in Phoenix, Arizona. Penelope managed to ignore Luke, even when he asked a question she answered addressing the group rather than him. Prentiss closed the meeting with the traditional order of 'Wheels up in 30'. Penelope quickly headed back to her lair but with the high heels she was wearing Luke easily tracked her down. "Hey can I talk to you real quick?" "You're on limited time Newbie." She replied not looking him. "Garcia stop. Stop please." Luke gently put his hand on her elbow halting her. "Please listen. I want to apologize for this morning." "Why? Nothing happened." "Penelope look at me." Penelope did but showed no emotion except annoyance. "I, uh, well I just wanted to say." Luke stumbled over his words and rubbed the back of his neck. "Damnit I wanted to do this better." Penelope was now confused. "Luke its fine. You better get to the jet." "No its not fine. Let me explain. I ducked out this morning because you walked in on me talking to JJ and Spencer about our date." "Our date?" "Yeah well, no I mean it wasnt a date per se but I was wondering if we could go on one? Together I mean. A date." Penelope's confusion faded away to giddiness. She'd never seen Luke Alvez so inarticulate and it was because of her! "Are you asking me out, Newbie?" "Yes." Prentiss appeared down the hall. "Alvez, let's go." Luke looked bummed but moved towards the elevators. "Dont answer yet, just think about it." Penelope was sure she looked like a fish with her mouth gaping open. Later in the day after the team landed in Phoenix she got a text from JJ. -Told you. What are you going to say? -I'm so confused. -Why? Dont you like him? -Well yes but what was going on this morning? -Penelope you're a smart girl. He was embarrassed, nervous to talk to you. Now call him and tell him you'll go out with him when we get back. Even though Penelope had trouble believing that Luke Alvez was nervous around her she took JJ's advice, well sort of. She didnt call him, but he called her pertaining to the case. After she finished answering his questions about the victims' backgrounds she stopped him from hanging up. "Wait Luke." "What no newbie?" Luke chuckled nervously. "Were you serious?" "Very serious Penelope. Why do you think I've been trying so hard to get you to like me? I loved spending time with you just us Friday night. I have to admit I wish I wouldve been much more smoother with it all." Penelope finally let out a breath and laughed. "Well that was pretty bad." She teased. "Yes it was, but I'm glad you know now. Anyway I better get back to the team." "Hey Luke." "Yeah?" "I can't wait till you get back." Penelope couldnt contain her smile. "Is that a yes?" "See you soon Luke Alvez." "See you soon Penelope Garcia."

#garvez #criminal minds #penelope garcia #luke alvez #garcia x alvez #penelope garcia x luke alvez #fluff

[lofitojii]

Toxic [VI]

Summary: “We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of man; but this would be nothing if you really liked him.” -Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice. His dark demeanor is nothing more than a mystery to you. His dark past explains the reasoning of his desired passion to completely destroy every inch of your innocence.

Warning: Angst [M]

Word Count: 4k

Toxic Masterlist

The way his lips felt against your skin, sweet and sensitive yet igniting the fire you had yet to grow familiar with. It was a welcoming feeling, having his presence near you, with you, touching you. The way his lips would graze across your collarbone, knowing it was a ticklish spot for you, or when his hands would grip your upper thigh, causing a small squeal to escape your lips every time. He did things that he knew he would get a reaction out of, not because he was trying to bother you, but because he loved the reactions he got from it.

Chanyeol had lived up to his word, saying he wouldn’t see anyone else if you had promised not to either. In all reality, it wasn’t hard for you. You knew you had fallen for Chanyeol so it was easy to focus on him but you could tell Chanyeol had an issue. He had told you over and over that he liked you more than he wanted to. He had grown frustrated, not knowing how to handle his emotions, which you anticipated when he confessed to you the night of his party. As you thought of it, Chanyeol and you had been seeing each other for little over a month, after his birthday coming and going, not really doing much since it was over the small break you had.

Finals were around the corner, you could feel the tension grow throughout campus as study rooms were booked, classes being held at weird hours to catch up on work you didn’t understand. You weren’t too worried about your finals, knowing that you really had worked hard to get where you were. You found yourself slipping in one of your classes, but if it wasn’t for Chanyeol pointing it out, you don’t think you would have been able to get back up to an A.

That’s the thing about Chanyeol, he’s quiet, reserved, standoffish. He doesn’t like to confront things that are difficult for him nor does he like talking about his feelings or aspirations, but he does care about his friends. He looks out for them, making sure they’re doing their best. You didn’t need to ask Chanyeol about that, it was just obvious in his actions. The way he dragged you to the library rather than you dragging him, or when he told Jongin he would tutor him in economics if he needed the help. It was all about the little things with Chanyeol.

He would do the smallest of things to show you he was trying. The way he would slip his hand into yours, letting you knew he was there. It took some time to get him to hold your hand in public but you never pushed him to do it. Eventually, you would just have to wait for him to make the move. This was his game you were playing, you had to play by his rules or not at all.

You let your hair fall over your paper as you studied the small section of notes you had written for your science exam that following day, trying your best to cram in a few extra hours of studying before you took your finals. Chanyeol sat across from you, tapping away at his calculator for his math final he had the same day as your science final. He had been a great study partner, motivating you more than you wished, but really helping you along the way.

You looked up, seeing Chanyeol’s reading glasses slowly slip from the bridge of his nose only to be pushed back as Chanyeol noticed them falling. He let out a small sniff, bringing his sweater to his nose to rub it clean from being uncomfortable. “Are you going to study or just stare at me all night?” He smirked, looking up from his paper, catching your eyes. You just laughed, taking off your own reading glasses, setting them down to the side of you.

“I just like how you look is all,” you shrugged, causing his smile to grow as he leaned back in his seat. He motioned you over towards him, signaling for you to get up out of your seat. You stood up, letting Chanyeol guide you so you were now sitting in his lap, his head buried into your shoulder as he placed small kisses along your shoulder blade. It was a small gesture, but it was a moment you wanted to hold on to. The way his hands lazily draped around your waist, his head hiding away into your body. You loved his touch, craved it even. Every time his touch left your skin, a feeling you needed more of, more of not only his touch, but him.

“What are we doing for dinner?” he asked, finally bringing his head up and looking up at you as you sat there on his lap, legs hanging through the armrest on either side of him.

“Well, Sehun texted earlier and said he cooked dinner if we wanted some.” You could feel Chanyeol tense under your touch, his jaw clenching as he looked away. “What?”

“Why are still talking to him?” You looked down at him, raising an eyebrow only to have a smirk play across your lips.

“Is someone jealous?” He shook his head, shaking as he let it hang low before looking back up at you.

“Oh honey no. I know you’re mine, I just want to keep it that way.” The way the words escaped his lips, dancing around in your head, replaying the way his raspy voice let it slip. You felt your insides shiver as you heard it over and over again, replaying like a broken record.

Chanyeol let out a sigh, sliding your body off his lap so he could stand up and stretch out. “If you want to, you can run off and hang with your little boyfriend Sehun.”

“Chanyeol,” you frowned, leaning against the table, crossing your arms over your chest. He chuckled, mimicking your actions as he towered over you.

“What? How would you feel if I went and hung out with a girl I made out with and knew they liked me? I’m just saying, you’d be just as uncomfortable.” He had a point, you knew you’d be upset if he did that, there was no doubt. After what went down that night, you knew you had hurt Sehun. The following morning, you had left Chanyeol to sleep since you knew he was going to be hungover no matter what you did, so you let him be. Sehun was already awake when you entered the kitchen, seeing him scrolling on his phone as he had a cup of coffee in front of him.

“Morning,” you awkwardly tucked your hair behind your ear, approaching Sehun who gave you a weak smile.

“Morning,” he replied, placing his phone down on the counter. You didn’t know where to start. You didn’t know whether you should start apologizing or just cut straight to the point at how you liked him, but not in that way. You enjoyed having Sehun as a friend and there was no doubt you felt bad that part of you had used him to make Chanyeol jealous. “Sehun, I-”

“Hey,” he stopped you. “Before you say anything, it’s okay. I know.” You didn’t know if it was relief or fear that had taken over your body as he cut you off. “I know how it is. But no hard feelings. You’re still one of my best friends.” You had been glad that Sehun didn’t take it as harshly as you were playing it out to be in your head. You did care for Sehun, more than most of your friends you have had in your life, but it was the fact you had used him.

You placed your hands on the counter, twiddling your thumbs, trying to form some sort of sentence. “I’m still sorry.” Sehun just smiled, getting up from his spot and coming over towards you. He pressed his lips to your forehead, reaching behind you and grabbing a cup from the cupboard from above you. He placed it in your hands and backed up.

“He’s going to need water. He gets sick the morning after he drinks a lot. Just a heads up.” And with that, he went about his day, and you went about yours. Regardless of his words of kindness and understanding, you still felt bad. You didn’t want to and no matter how many times he told you not to feel bad, you couldn’t help it.

Chanyeol sat back down, gathering his things into his backpack as you sat there, lost in thought. It wasn’t until he finally zipped his bag up, slinging it over his shoulder. “We’re not dating so I really can’t tell you what to do. Call me later though.”

“Where are you going?” You finally asked, a worried expression obviously plastered across your face. Chanyeol just laughed, coming over and placing a small kiss on your forehead before pulling you into a hug.

“I’m just going to go home, finish up a paper for my English class. Plus, I still have some unpacking to do. Come by later or something.” He pulled you closer to his face by lifting your chin, pressing his soft lips into yours. “That was basically me asking you to come over later.”

“I will,” you tried to smile as his hand squished your cheeks, making it hard for you to really talk. He just laughed, pushing your lips out further as he squished your cheeks closer together. He kissed you once more before taking off, leaving you alone in the small study room. You exhaled before finally regaining your train of thought, packing your things up so you could go meet your friends for dinner.

When you arrived at Sehun’s, it seemed empty. Everyone was moving out, moving into new places as they were about to enter their last year of college the following semester. Jongin greeted you with a hug, letting you walk in past all the boxes stacking in the living room. The kitchen still smelled of the food Sehun had said he made a little earlier, making your stomach make an inhuman noise. “Someone’s hungry.” Jongin joked, moving past you into the kitchen.

“Where’s Chanyeol?” Sehun asked as you approached him, dishing you up a plate of food. You exhaled, sitting down on a bar stool, running your hands through your already messy hair as you stressed over the simplest question.

“Home. He had some unpacking to do. Plus, that math exam tomorrow,” you replied, stress laced in your response. Sehun frowned, placing the plate of stir fry in front of you. He didn’t reply, instead dishing up a plate for Jongin instead who was overly excited about the food.

You didn’t really like how Chanyeol had been neglecting to see his friends since he moved out. You didn’t know if it was because you had gone on a date with Sehun or just because of his weird mood wings he tends to get. It was not only frustrating for you, but for his friends as well. Sehun had mentioned he hadn’t seen Chanyeol since he moved out when they got back from their small break, heartbreak prominent in his words. You wanted to step up and say something to Chanyeol but didn’t want to overstep any boundaries.

“How’s he doing?” Sehun collected you from your thoughts. “Chanyeol.”

“He’s good,” you shrugged, not really knowing how to answer that question. There wasn’t much you could say. Even now, Chanyeol was a bit secretive about his personal life. You had come to learn that you can’t just ask Chanyeol how he is, he has to come to you.

“He really does like you,” Sehun spoke, shoving food into his mouth as he nodded. You waited for him to let it pass, wanting him to continue with his statement. “I haven’t seen him like this in a while. Be careful though, he’s known to be a bit…”

“Rude? Asshole? Flakey?” Jongin joked, causing Sehun to glare in his direction. You couldn’t help but laugh at his small comment.

“He’s just not good at commitment. Be careful, okay?” Sehun was only looking out for you, you knew he had a good heart behind it. Despite the messy situation you had gotten yourself into, you were glad you could still have a friend like Sehun around. The only problem was that Chanyeol was overprotective, didn’t want you around him. You respected it, making sure you weren’t alone with Sehun, but in the end, it came down to trust. You wanted Chanyeol to trust you, not having a reason to say otherwise.

Did you trust Chanyeol?

It was a question that bounced around in your thoughts more often than usual. With the way Chanyeol liked to keep to himself, it was hard to say whether or not you could trust him. Every time you would sit down in a class next to a group of girls, you would hear things like how they hadn’t seen or heard from Chanyeol in over a month, the same time he had promised you. It was situations like that where you felt like you could trust him. Where you felt like he was serious about being someone you wanted to be with.

You said your goodbyes to Jongin and Sehun, leaving so you could go meet Chanyeol at his place. He had moved to the other side of town, closer to where he worked. It was a nice place, being a townhouse that was bigger than your average. You pulled into his driveway, right next to his car, like you had been doing for the past two weeks. You walked into the living room, placing your things down by the front door to see the place was rather empty. “Chanyeol?” You called out, hoping that he would pop out of the kitchen but there was no response. You walked up the steps, making your way down the rather long hallway, coming to his room. “Chanyeol?” You asked, tapping on the door. When you opened it, you saw Chanyeol sitting on the end of his bed, Lisa resting closer to the headboard. They both saw you come in, smiles wide as you entered. “Oh, I didn’t know you were here.”

“Was in the neighborhood, thought I’d stop by,” Lisa replied, lifting her body so she was looking at you. Seeing Lisa and Chanyeol together brought you back to the day Sehun had told you about their little fling they had back during their freshman year. Yes, Lisa was seeing Yuna and wasn’t exactly into boys anymore but it still made you feel sick. “I should get going though. Yuna should be here soon. It was good seeing you Yeol. And I’ll see you at home later, I hope?” She smiled, squeezing your arm before leaving the room.

“Surprise visit?” you asked as Chanyeol got up from his spot at the end of the bed and came over towards you. He pressed his lips to your forehead before moving past you, going out of his room and making his way towards the downstairs.

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “Wanted to come say hi. I wasn’t doing anything so we caught up.” You followed him downstairs, into the kitchen. You didn’t want to confront the situation but you were tired of this game of avoiding confrontation.

“Why didn’t you tell me about you and Lisa?” You blurted out, causing Chanyeol to raise an eyebrow.

“It was so long ago. It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter,” you crossed your arms. “You dated. For a long time too.” You could tell Chanyeol was getting angry with you, but you didn’t care at this point. You hated that everything was on his terms, you had to defend yourself every once in a while.

“So I can’t hang out with one of my friends alone but you can go and hang out with someone I’ve told you I don’t like you hanging out with?” He crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the counter as he waited for your response.

“It’s different. I didn’t date Sehun. I went on a date with him.” Chanyeol laughed, shaking his head as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth.

“What? Do you not trust me or something?” Your silence was enough for him to know that you weren’t quite sure where you stood with him. You wanted to trust him, more than anything you wanted that, but it was hard. “You don’t trust me.”

“Chanyeol,” you started. He quickly stopped you, raising a hand.

“I don’t need to hear it. I know I’m not an expert on these kinds of things but I thought being in a relationship meant you trusted one another.” You were taken back by his comment, not really knowing how to react. You couldn’t help but feel the butterflies form in your stomach. “What?”

“You said relationship,” you pointed out, feeling the smile creep across your face. Chanyeol just looked at you, knowing exactly what he had said. He let out a sigh, finally walking over towards you, reaching out, pulling at your sweater. He rested his body against yours, letting his head fall to your shoulder.

“You know what I mean,” he finally spoke, his voice soft. You did understand what he was saying, knowing that he was being sincere with his words. You didn’t want to push him any more than you had but you also couldn’t keep pretending like everything was okay either. You lifted your hands, giving Chanyeol’s arms a small squeeze to reassure him that you had heard what he said. “I’m trying here.”

You were both pulled from the small moment you shared by your phone ringing. You let out a sigh, reaching into your back pocket and sliding to unlock the call. “Hello sweetie. How are you?” It was your mother calling to check up like she did every week. You pushed Chanyeol away from you, walking into the living room area and taking a seat on the couch.

“I’m good. How are you?” You asked, playing with the ring you had gotten from her not too long ago.

“Good. I’m calling about Christmas? You’re coming home right?” You could hear Chanyeol shuffle around in the back, trying his best not to listen in on your phone call but you knew he couldn’t help it.

“Umm yeah. I’ll be home.”

“Good. I miss you honey! Good luck on your final tomorrow! I’ll talk to you soon!” Your mother hung up, leaving a dead line to ring through your ear before you finally pulled your phone away. You sighed, resting your head against your hand as you propped your elbow up on the armrest.

“Who was that?” Chanyeol finally asked, coming over and sitting down next to you, beer in hand. He lifted it to his lips, wrapping an arm around you in the same swift movement.

“My mom asking about Christmas.” It wasn’t that far away. Maybe two weeks tops? It had come faster than you had thought it would. Chanyeol nodded, not giving you an answer. “What are you doing for Christmas?”

“Probably staying here.”

“You can’t do that. What about your family? They must miss you.” His face fell, enough for you to notice the mood change. “Yeol?”

“I just don’t want to go home.” The way his mood had changed from calm and collected to frustrated and upset really made you worry about what was going on in his mind. He got up from his spot, making his way back into the kitchen. You followed, trying to stop him from being so angry.

“Chanyeol please,” you finally stopped him. “What the hell is going on? Every time I mention your family, you freak out.” He didn’t reply. He wasn’t even looking at you. “You’re going to have to talk to me at some point. I’m not trying to be mean, I’m just-”

“I don’t have a family to go back to,” he finally spoke, his fist clenched as he stood there, almost lifeless if it wasn’t for his stiff jaw. You didn’t know what to say, once again speechless and taken back.

“What about when you leave town?”

“I go see my foster brother and his family,” he sighed, still not making eye contact. You felt your heart ache, not because of the news, but the way he sounded when he spoke. He was just as broken as his voice was. “I can’t keep showing up to his place like that though. He has his own family now.” He didn’t look at you, not once. Instead, you finally saw something you thought you would never see. Chanyeol broke down, leaning against the kitchen counter as he hid his face away into the palm of his hands.

Chanyeol wasn’t some kind of cold hearted man who didn’t care what people thought of him. He wasn’t the person he presumed to be. Instead, he was a man who was lost, scared, didn’t know where to turn when he needed help. He was someone who had been on his own for so long, not having anyone to look after him.

You walked over, gently placing your hand on his shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. He looked up at you from his hunched over position. His eyes were red, not like he’d been crying, more that he had been trying to hold it back. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” He got up, keeping his eye contact with you as he regained his tall position.

“I don’t like talking about it. It’s something I just found to be more personal, something I’d rather keep to myself. I’ve worked so hard to get here, getting into college, having a stable job, being able to buy my own place like this. It’s not that I don’t want someone else in my life, someone I can trust and come to when I need it, it’s just that I’m scared. I’m fucking terrified, Y/n. I don’t know how to function like a normal human. I’m so fucked up.” This time, Chanyeol let himself break, letting the salt water tears fall down his red cheeks. It was the first time Chanyeol seemed to show any sort of emotion rather than pissed off.

Things made sense, just about everything. His attitude, his constant secrets, his need for reassurance from you. He was scared, just like you, only for a different reason. He wasn’t scared that you were going to leave him for someone else, it was more a fear that you were going to leave him for someone or something better. His abandonment issues were present every time you would leave to go home or if you left upset with him. You didn’t notice until he finally came forward, explaining his fears.

You wrapped your arms around Chanyeol’s waist, letting him rest his body against yours. His grip was shakier, the way you could hear his sobs muffled into your shoulder. It broke your heart, every little broken sound that came from his lips. You wanted to just sit there, hold him until he was better, try to glue his broken pieces back together.

You lifted your body so you could look at him in the eyes as you spoke to him. “Why don’t you come home with me this Christmas?”

“Y/n I-”

“Not as my boyfriend. But as my guest. Just come and spend it with my family.” Chanyeol lifted his sleeve, wiping away his fallen tears. He smiled, looking down at his feet before finally pulling you into his chest.

“What if I did come as your boyfriend?”

#chanyeol #chanyeol fan fic #park chanyeol #chanyeol fan fiction #exo #exo fan fiction #chanyeol angst #exo angst #chanyeol x reader #chanyeol au #exo au

[ladykiaras]

another choices tag game that youll probably skip over anyway :-)

so i’ll uh put it under the cut

BUT THANK YOU @beccas-awful-bangs FOR TAGGING ME ILU!!

Favourite book(s): trr and ilitw!!

Your MC’s LI for each story you’re playing:

The freshman/the sophomore: chris 

The Royal Romance: liam

Home for the Holidays: real talk does anyone play this

Red Carpet Diaries: the one book where all lis are so good atm that i genuinely cant pick.... aka pb let me hoe it up with all of them

High School Story: o shit i forgot

Rules of Engagement: im replaying roe as a joke n i havent decided if i wanna romance conchobar (bartender), big time rush (sloan), or liam (leo)

Endless Summer: sean

Hero: eva (i should finish this bc i can finally buy that diamond scene in the last chapter o wow!)

Ilitw: andy

Tc&Tf: raydan

LoveHacks: i didnt finish this either and i never made it official w anyone or whatever it is u do

what about thobm?? my ghost gf eleanor didnt die like twice for you to exclude her!!!!! 

Favourite MC ship: mc x sean!! mayb?

Least favourite MC ship: due to recent dash activity we gonna say mc x caleb from hero

Favourite non-MC ship:  idk man... diego x varyyn 

Least favourite non-MC ship: tyler x abbie just let it die pb

Favourite character and why: andy kang bc he is andy kang

Least favourite character and why: i think im pretty chill and dont hate a lot of characters ya kno? but characters like natasha (tf) or cody (ilitw) really get my goats

Character you like that most people don’t: see i dunno... maybe grayson? well its not like people dont like him but nobody talks abt him

Character you don’t like that most people do: lissen i dont hate or even dislike her but ava was written terribly at times like they were rly trying to make her edgy™ (whenever she hissed?? so unnecessary and i cringed all the time) n it was just too much sometimes. ava deserves beter

Which character are you most like in real life: DEFINITELY LUCAS like me and that kid are almost the same (apart from being student body president i was class rep once so its similar enough) and we both wanna make differences through policy change in the future. and the pressure from parents to do well all the time?? a forever mood :-( and other things i dont remember but ya girl is tired

If you could be in any Choices story, which one? yall know im a slut for trr like imagine living mc’s life. sis u were fine in nyc thats my dream (apart from waitressing i gues?s) and then some rando takes her to go try and become royalt?? travelling?? fancy balls and gowns?? sign me tf up bich!!

#thank u again for tagging me!! #yall pls tag me in more things i love these!!! #im hypocritical as fck because i aint tagging anyone tho #i feel like everyone has done these]\ #and i dont wanna bother everyone whoops #about me #? #tag games #not choices

[duyxjpg]

Paper Hearts~ [JK FF/ pt.2]

aHeyyy my cotton candieeees~ ♥ Here I am with part 2~ I hope you are enjoying the story as much as I enjoy writing it~ ♥

pt. 1

SECRET AGENTS? AGENTS MY ASS!

“I think Ho Seok is hiding something from me Y/N.” Yerin busted out, out of nowhere. 

I furrowed my eyebrows. “Why do you think so? Did something happen last night?” I asked her. She looked into my eyes for a second and than looked back out of the window. Something was definitely going on. She started talking. 

“I am not sure, I just..It’s just a feeling. He was different yesterday. Like he tried to escape my questions. So I didn’t ask him further but I know he is hiding something.” she explained. 

“You think he is cheating on you?” I asked carefully. I swear if this is the case I am going to bulge his eyes out. Rub his face on a wall till a flame starts. I am going to cut his body parts and give his bones to street dogs.  Okay enough said. And no I am not psycho. 

“NO, not something like that. Y/N I just realized I never met his friends before, he never talks about them. It’s strange. I think something is going on with his friends.” she said thoughtfully. 

I smirked. I had a great idea. Yerin looked at me suspiciously. 

“NO.” she said and stood up from her seat. Since yesterdays incident we didn’t leave the house yet. Hye-Jin aunti asked as too many questions, we lied to her and little we both know that she didn’t believe us not even for a second but she didn’t say anything either, I felt bad but done is done. Than Yerin literally made me to tell the story over and over again till we both fell asleep. 

“But you don’t even know what I was going to say YERIN!” I protested. 

“I know that smirk Y/N, it means trouble, so no.!” she shrug off and sat down on our bed. 

“Just listen to me okay, it’s a good idea and nothing will happen to you okay?” I made sure to sound convincingly as possible. She nodded. I smiled. 

“Okay basically you are going to call Ho Seok oppa tonight and ask him if he has any plans. If than we are going to follow him and see where he is going.” I explained. 

“See the plan is harmless.” I smiled and rub my hands.

“Okay but what if he sees us, he will kill me.” Yerin whispered. 

“He won’t catch us don’t worry okay?” I promised one more time. I gave too many promises i thought. I hope it ends well I thought. 

“What kind of place is this damn?” Yerin whispered standing behind me. The phone call went very well, Ho Seok oppa said that he was having a guys night with his mysterious friends. We told him we would stay home and babysit our neighbors kid. In fact he couldn’t believe first than the neighbor kid was a literal monster, but we told him we were forced to. And now we were going after Ho Seok oppa.   

“Pshhhh don’t be so noisy daamn, I think it’s a hidden bar.” I guessed. I once read a thriller book and the detective had to figure out a murder and he needed to enter this hidden bar. And the description in the book and our situation fitted perfectly, and yes maybe it was crazy to go after a thriller roman theory but it made sense.  

“And how would you know that Agent?” she said sarcastically.

“I read about it a lot. I am sure Ho Seok oppa went inside this building.” I said. “There is no other way to go nor is there any sign of a cafe /bar whatever, you name it.” I finished my sentence. We lost him when he went into this weird dark back street. I mean we needed to make sure he wouldn’t see us, I guess we were a bit too far away. But somehow I knew he would be inside this building. The building looked abandoned but still there was lights in the halls. And it was the only building with lights in this area, it wasn’t that hard to figure out that much. 

“What are we doing next?” Yerin questioned, she looked scared. 

“We are going to find Ho Seok oppa.” I whispered and glimpsed at my surrounding before entering the old building, Yerin just followed me without saying a word. 

“I can still not believe. How did you know there was a hidden bar?” Yerin asked me shocked, I shrug. 

“Intuition.” I basically said, I didn’t have the time to explain the whole book plot. Now we where inside the bar and damn it was beautiful inside. The design and the smell everything was perfect. Too perfect I thought. Ho Seok oppa was dressed normal, not fancy. 

“I can’t see Ho Seok.” Yerin whined. I couldn't find him as well. I looked a bit closer to the tables but no sign from our lovely Ho Seok. 

“It’s because he is not here. I mean he is here but not here. Ugh I mean I think there is another hidden place in this place.” I tried to explain. The book theory went very well. I couldn’t believe myself that this was happening right now, I was really feeling like I was in that book. I didn’t know why but my instinct said I was right. And I am trusting my instinct more than anything. 

“WOW, I am going to start reading as well, Y/N how can you know so much stuff about this kind of places.” she fangirled. I just laughed. It wasn’t that difficult to guess right. 

“Ho Seok wasn’t wearing fancy clothes Yerin, look at this place. Everyone is wearing expensive fancy clothes. And the guy outside let us in because we knew about this hidden place. I think, not everyone knows about this place.” I smirked. We tried to figure out where he could be. 

“Look here Y/N, I think I found the hidden place. Look at this door.” Yerin said. I looked where she was pointing. I smiled. She was right. It has to be this door. We started going towards the door. A man appeared in front of us.   

“Where are you going ladies?” he asked. He tried to scare us. Well he was good but he didn’t scare me. No one would scare me unless you were my mom but that’s another story. I stepped forward. 

“We want to find a friend.” I said causally. He raised an eyebrow. And suddenly Jungkook fell into my thoughts. It looked much better on him. He looked handsome raising an eyebrow, but why would I think about him and compare him to others. Because you are stupid, my inner voice talked to me. I shushed her. 

“We are looking for Ho Seok if you don’t mind.” I challenged him, I didn’t know if he would believe us or if he knows who Ho Seok is but in movies it is always like this and I gave it a shot.

“Go ahead.” he whispered and let us enter. For a second I was surprised but Yerin took my arm and we went inside quickly. Finally we found the right place. This place was a disaster. I wish I could stay outside. It smelled bad and WOW is this a couple having sex there? I always read about this stuff but never saw it live. It’s disgusting I can say that much. I looked at Yerin she was looking shocked as well my poor friend I thought. 

“Okay lets split you go and look this way and I go this way.” I pointed with my finger. Yerin wasn’t sure, I could read her face but she nodded anyway. Alone we could find him much faster and we could figure out more.

I sighed. I knew Ho Seok oppa but why would he end up in such a place like this? He had a bubbly personality. It didn’t suit him to hang out here. Maybe he is a serial killer at night, my inner voice guessed. I rolled my eyes at her. And yes I was talking always with my inner voice when I was alone. 

Suddenly someone hold my upper arm. I turned around and saw a waiter in front of me. I tried to raise an eyebrow but I sucked at it. “What do you want?” I asked him and escaped from his grip. He looked at me suspiciously. Than he started talking. “Aren’t you looking for Ho Seok? I will bring you to him.” he explained. 

“Yes but No. I mean yes I am looking for him but sure I an find him on my own.” I panicked. If he would bring me to him he would kill me. I needed to figure out stuff before facing Ho Seok oppa. The waiter laughed a bit, I wasn’t sure why he was laughing. 

“I don’t think so, I will bring you to him. You are quite innocent to do this kind of things.” he said. But it was like he was talking to himself. I didn’t even know what he was talking about. Something felt utterly wrong. He hold my arm again and stared going towards a table. I was trying to escape. 

“Wait no let me go.” I hissed. He was ignoring me. “I said let me go.” this time I almost screamed. He was still ignoring me. We were walking pass dancing people or more like the waiter was walking pass and I tried to escape his grip and tried not to fall over drunk people. 

“I said le-” I started my sentence but the waiter literally throw me towards the tables. “Shut up you little hoe now you are here where you belong to.” he hissed and started walking off. I blinked a few times, what was he even talking about? 

“So you are the little hoe who will entertain us tonight?” I heard a disgusting drunk voice. I looked at the table, 4 men were sitting and laughing hysterically. I stepped back. 

“What- What are you talking about?” I stuttered. My breath become unsteady and so did my heartbeats. “I am looking for my friend Ho Seok who are you?” I questioned him. I should run probably. 

“I am Ho Seok.” he replayed. I looked at him with wide open eyes. They misunderstood me from the beginning on. The boy in front of the door misunderstood me, the waiter as well and now this disgusting men as well. I was in big trouble. 

“No. There is a misunderstanding. I am not looking for you. I am looking for another Ho Seok.”I said and start going away. As soon as I made a step someone hold my arm again but this time it was much stronger grip. I was forced to face the disgusting Ho Seok. 

“You don’t like what you see? Aren’t we handsome enough for you to please us you little hoe?” he hissed. I was trembling. 

“Let me go you disgusting drunk bastard!” I screamed in his face and after that i felt a sharp pain on my cheek. He hit me. I was shocked, how would he dare. I had tears built up my eyes. 

“You are coming with us, we will teach you a lesson you little hoe.” he hissed again and started  pulling me towards a door. I started screaming but no one was helping me. No one was even listening to me. I couldn’t get off of his grip and his friends were just laughing and following him. I started crying, this was the end I thought. 

“Let her go.” someone literally roared. I looked towards the person who was standing now in front of me. I started crying more when I saw a familiar face finally. It was Jungkook. 

“Go away kid.” the disgusting Ho Seok hissed. Not letting me go. I looked at Jungkook with begging eyes. He can’t leave me here with them I thought. 

“I am sure you don’t want to fight with me.” he smirked. And before someone could react he punched the disgusting Ho Seok in the face so hard that he fell into the ground without even moving anymore. The others looked shocked but run off without taking there friends with them. I couldn’t even move an inch. I felt Jungkooks hands on my shoulders. He as looking directly into my eyes. 

“Are you okay Y/N?” he asked me. Looking for a sign from me. I wasn’t even close to be okay. I just hugged him. I didn’t care at that very moment. I felt his strong arms hugging me back. I start crying hysterically again, without saying a word he lifted me up. I wrapped my arms around his neck and continued to sob. I couldn’t even think clearly anymore.

“Ho Seok is going to kill you Y/N.” he just muttered and carried me outside this disgusting place. I just held him closer.  

#jungkook imagines #bts imagines #jungkook #bts #jungkook scenarios #jungkook au #bts au #bts scenarios

[wizard-in-olympus]

1 - 102 and if you answer them all i'll do the same.. thats the deal

its a deal then

this is gonna be long

                                                         1. Think of the last person who said I love     you, do you think they meant it?                                    

it was mydad so, yeah                           

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age     you are now?

        im 18, so obviously i would

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated     and happy at the same time?

when i left college, 5 months ago. i’ll be back next semester

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

i’ve done it, what’s the big deal?

5. Is there someone mad because you’re     dating/talking to the person you are?

i dont think she knows and i dont think she’d even care

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of     someone today? 

yeah andit was awful

 7. What exactly are you wearing right     now?

i’ve heard that line right there too many times, you sound like a 15 yearold trying to get nudes. anyways, im wearing blue pjs

8. How often do you listen to music?

on long rides, while studying, while doing chores, while reading, whilewasting my time on social media. so, most of the time i guess

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? 

jeans

10. Do you think your life will change     dramatically before 2015?                   

ok its 2017 already but im gonna change it to “...change dramaticallybefore 2018?″. not so much, it has changed a lot in a year already

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

social

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name     begins with the letter ‘A’?

yes, my guy best friend, we were both drunk, shit happens. it kind ofbrought us together as friends hahaha

13. What about ‘R’?

no

14. Can you drive a stick shift? 

thats the only type of vehicle i drive

15. Do you care if people talk badly about     you?

i’d like to say no but yeah, i do. it depends on what people tho

16. Are you going out of town soon?

probably tomorrow. i go “out of town” a lot

17. When was the last time you cried?

i dont remember. about two months ago i think

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

yeah.huge mistake

19. If you could change your eye color, would     you?

maybe i’d change my eyes from hazel to a deeper green

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely     everything for?

i thinkso

21. Name something you dislike about the day     you’re having.

i haven’t finished the essay i was gonna present today, now i’ll have topresent it tomorrow                                                      

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your     forehead?

i loveit, yesss

23. Are you dating the last person you talked     to?

no

24. What are you sitting on right now?

my couch

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family)     tell you they love you?

my bestfriend

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t     have?

i do

27. Who was the last person you talked to     before you went to bed last night?

mybrother

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

no, i get colds once a year, twice a year tops

  29. Where is the shirt you are wearing     from?

idk, idc

 30. Does anyone hate     you?

i thinkso. im sorry

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles     hidden somewhere in your room?

no, im asocial drinker

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

hate them

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

hell no

34. If you had to delete one year of your life     completely, which would it be?

either 2014 or 2015. big parts of 2016 too... maybe a little bit of thisone but its been the best year i’ve ever lived since 2013.

35. Did you have a dream last night?

yeah, the seniors in my old high school were 10x better than last yearseniors -when i was a senior- and teachers loved them (teachers hated mygeneration) and they all graduated from IB and had their diplomas linned up inthe hall (i didnt graduated from IB or get the diploma and everyone hated me bci was the only student in my generation that failed and so no one could say“gen16 was a 100% IB generation! the first one in this high school!” bc of me)

36. When was the last time you told someone     you loved them?

a coupleof weeks ago

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

i hopenot

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

a couple of people, tiny andd small feelings but i now they do

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you     right now?

maybe wondering what happened to me, yeah. but probably no one is

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

yes, areally good one

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a     relationship?

not a serious one but yeah

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out     with a girl?

yeah, lots of girls. but im a girl and i like boys so who cares if ihang out with a girl

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to     ever lose you?

yes and lots of times and they did lose me. i just couldn’t handle themany longer, my patience couldn’t take it anymore, it had been YEARS of dealingwith the same shit and enough was enough. but i couldn’t break theirheart so i just told them i had changed and left. that probably makes me anasshole but idc

44. What’s the best part about school?

meeting new people all the time, learning new amazing things and gettingto test them and the late night bar celebrations when we nailed a test

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

of course, why wouldn’t i?

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in     school?

i used to do that in 7th grade, not anymore

47. Do you replay things that have happened in     your head?

yes i wish i could change so many things, so many situations in which idid the wrong thing

48. Were you single over the last summer?

oh yeah and i had never been so happy of being single

49. Is your life anything like it was two     years ago?

just a little bit but it has changed A LOT and im grateful for it

50. What are you supposed to be doing right     now?

finishingmy essay...

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a     conversation with?

im hating him rn but most of the time i love that guy. stupid guys

52. Are you nice to everyone?

most people. im not nice to one single person but im nice to the rest ofthe human population. fuck that bitch tho

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t     expect to?

i’ve only liked people i didn’t expect to. except one guy probably.

54. Do you think you can last in a     relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

i’ve never cheated, i think i can last a lifetime without cheating.cheating is a horrible thing to do, i don’t wish it on anybody

 55. Are you good at hiding your     feelings?

i used to be very good, lately i suck at it but idc anymore, its ok

56. Do you think you like someone?

kind of

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts     with a ‘J’?

yes and i would do it again

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or     boys?

girls are sketchy, boys are chill. i get along better with guys but theyare also clueless idiots so... some guys

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you     cry?

yes

60. Do you hate anyone?

no

61. How’s your heart?

confused but healthy and happy like it hasn’t been in years

62. Is there something that happened in your past     that you hate talking about?

plenty ofthings

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

no and i dont plan on ever doing it

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap     about you right now?

the same boring bitches that always have, “”friends”“ and also their stupidparents that care too much about what i do with my life. fuck off

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

no

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

i really hope not, not again

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry;     correct?

no, i hate sensitive, dramatic people. if he cries for a good reasonthen ok but i wouldn’t love it, i’d be sad for him too

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in     public?

no

69. Who was the last person you were on the     phone with?

my bestfriend from Peru

70. How do you look right now?

ok, butmessy

71. Do you have someone you can be your     complete self around?

plenty of people (family and friends), im an open book                 

72. Can you commit to one person?

yes, but it looks like however made this questions cant

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex     you can tell everything to?

thought i did, turns out i dont

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

yes, a couple of times. always by friends tho

75. Did you wake up cranky?

not today, i had an amazing night of sleep

76. Are you a jealous person?

no

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

yes yes yes, SO WORTH IT. you just have to find the right person

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

not rn

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

more like craving to see him. fuck my life

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

turn in this stupid essay i’ve mentioned twice already

81. Last person you cried in front of?

bestfriend

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

yeah

83. Do you think the person you have feelings     for is protective of you?

a littlebit

84. If the person you wish to be with were     with you, what would you be doing right now?

probably taking a walk and talking and staring at his beautiful smile

85. Are you over your past?

most of it. the latest “past” is still haunting me but im getting overit slowly

86. Have you ever liked one of your best     friends of the opposite sex?

not morethan physical attraction

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING     to?

three tofour people

88. If your first true love knocked on your     door with apology and presents, would you accept?

if i had one i could answer this. i think i kind of did and i wouldn’taccept it

89. So, the last person you kissed just     happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

what do you want??, what is the matter with you??, what on earth are youdoing here?? FUCK OFF.

90. Have you ever liked someone who your     friends hated?

yes                                                 

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

no

92. Is there anyone you know with the name     Michael?

yeah

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

i live in Costa Rica, im latina. guys here have names like “Jose, JuanPablo, Andres, Gerardo, Alonso”, not “Matthew, James”. so of course i haven’t

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

no and i lived the single life at its finest

95. Were you happy with the person you liked     in March?

no

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you     texted attractive?

he’s a fucking model for fuck’s sakes, he’s a GOD. he’s so hot. why am ifriends with him?? itcomplicates everything

97. Who do you have texts from?

my best friends, my guy friends, my family group chat, my girl friendsgroup chats, my crush

98. If the person you like says they like     someone else, what would you say?

thats great, and do you think she likes you? hey good luck! *pretends idont have feelings and keeps on being a good friends*

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than     you?

the first person i ever kissed was a year older than me

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

ok in my tumblr icon im with my best friend, in my whatsapp, twitter andfacebook profile pictures im alone

101. Ever kissed under     fireworks?

no

  102. Has anybody ever given you     butterflies?

no

done!  that took me like an hour damn... sorry to the people who’s dashboard i interrupted with this post

[nodlefisch]

Holy Moly This is a long tag thing!

tagged by @the-dork-crow-smiles (BRUH....) ((also sorry it took so long I saved it my drafts to finish later and I fuckign forgot it!!)

RULES: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions. 

Whooo BO I

1. coke or pepsi: neither ew cola

2. disney or dreamworks: disney!

3. coffee or tea: do I even need to answer thi s

4. books or movies: Books!

5. windows or mac: mmm. yeah. def windows.

7. xbox or playstation: Im gonna go with playstatio n--it was my first system and the ps4 is my newest...

8. dragon age or mass effect: DRAGON AGE. Tried to play mass effect, but it didnt stick with me as much. dragon age all they way. (esp since I’ve wanted to replay origins!!)

9. night owl or early riser: I would say night owl but really--im sorta both. Depends on if im getting up early for myself or something im being forced to do, though.

10. cards or chess: chess.

11. chocolate or vanilla: ...vanilla.

12. vans or converse: ....all my shoes are vans or converse. But theres more converse than vans...

13. lavellan, trevelyan, cadash, or adaar: LAVELLAN. DALISH FOREVER. Im always gonna choose elves in DA

14.  fluff or angst: why not both?

15. beach or forest: 1000% forest. fuck sand.

16.  dogs or cats: both you fuckerts.

17.  clear skies or rain: I like clear skies--it makes me feel more excited for the day. But I also love rain because its just so easy to get cozy....

18.  cooking or eating out: out.

19. Spicy food or mild food: brin g the heat

20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: halloween. Good spooky stuff and an excuse to shove my face with kitkats.

21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: I am always a little too cold.

22.  if you could have a superpower, what would it be: More time. Let me procrastinate or do whatever for as long as i wan t and not worry.

23.  animation or live action: animation

24.  paragon or renegade: even tho i dont play mass effect I can tell Id do paragon.

25. baths or showers: shower. But i guess baths have their place...

26. team cap or team ironman: Ironman

27.  fantasy or sci-fi: dont. just. DONT. 

28. do you have three or four favourite quotes? if so what are they: none that I can think of on the spot OTZ

29.  youtube or netflix: youtube. 

30.  harry potter or percy jackson: Harry Potter

31.  when do you feel accomplished: When I clean, actually finish projects, dont mess up when I think I have.

32.  star wars or star trek: STAR TREK.

33.  paperback books or hardback books: gonna sound weird but I actually like paperbacks more. 

34. horror or rom-com: Horror.

35.  to live in a world without literature or music: fck of f

36.  pastel colours or dark colours: all my art says I am only allowed to say pastel

37.  tv shows or movies: TV shows. I never get around to actually watching movies, and I like how there can be more development in shows.

38.  city or countryside: not sure...

39.  if any other zodiac sign could describe you, what would it be: Im an aquarius and while it fits okay, I can see myself as a virgo. 

40.  if you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life what would it be: why would you do this? The Flaming Lips - At War With The Mystics (I could really put any flaming lips album bu t)

41.  cinema or theater: is there a difference I dont remember

42.  if you could be any fictional character’s best friend, who’d you be: I would be too shy

43.  smiling or smirking: smiling

44.  are you an ‘all or nothing’ type or are you more consistent: what does this mean

45.  playlists or your whole library on shuffle: whole library

46. traveling or staying at home: home

47.  books or fanfiction: I mean one sorta relies on the other a bit yknow

48.  If you could live in a fantasy world, what world would it be: What th e fuck uhm. When it says fantasy does that mea n the genre or. I’ll just say Elder Scrolls because it fits both.

49. your favorite cartoon: I was going to answer this seriously and say Avatar: TLA but I am tempted to say chowder

50.  name the weirdest five songs on your music, current or past: all of my music is fucking weird but....heres some... next level ones 1  2 3 4 5

51. mountains or plains: mountains

52. favorite anime (or tv show if you don’t watch anime): sto p. nge is one Ill rewatch over and over if that counts but I still wouldnt call it my FAVORITE

53. which social media platform are you most like yourself on: hmm. Hard to say between here and twitter. Twitter, when I actually remember I have one, is a bit less filtered, I guess.

54. What are some of your passions: is this a job resume stoP

55. What are some of your current goals in life?: Finishing school improving art finish up my computer stuff and more genetic etc etc

56. A pet that you would like to have (or already have) that is NOT a cat or dog: I miss my rats ; m ; sweet babies... 

#ask meme #LONG ASS ASK MEME

[sophrosyiiine]

Destiel Angst

What was sad, was that when the ‘cosmic consequences’ finally caught up with them, it wasn’t violent. He popped out of existence. Nothing extra or nothing to mill over in his head for months. He just knew it was over and that he was gone not just disappeared. Gone.

It didn’t happen to Dean like he thought and hoped it would. It was Cas. Cas was gone. All because Dean made a stupid deal with Billie.

Sam and Dean sat for a second in shock when Cas disappeared. Dean automatically felt the recognized emptiness and he knew Cas was as good as gone. That didn’t stop him from prematurely making a plan to get him back. He had to get him back. If he disappeared then it was a cosmic thing and he could be brought back.

He wasn’t losing another member of his family. Never again.

As he came up with nothing in his head, Cas appeared right where he was before. His head was drooping and his eyes were unfocused. He sat for a minute as Sam and Dean cautiously moved towards him.

Cas gasped, the first sound in the room since he had arrived and put his hands on his lower abdomen. Dean knew in that moment. The word came crashing around him. He had been stabbed or shot or something but fuck, he was dying and the Winchesters knew it.

This time as Cas lay in front of them dying, there was nothing they could do and no pull room. Cas couldn’t even talk but Dean wouldn’t let that stop him. He bandaged his wound and muttered “It’s fine. You’ll be fine. I’m going to teach you to flirt. You’re going to be just fine. Aces all around.” Cas just sadly shook his head, exhausted.

Cas died within fifteen minutes. ***

Dean leaned back in the leather seating of his car. He took a swig of beer and started replaying all of the moments since he had met Cas.

Before he got too far into the apocalypse, he heard the car door open. Sam was standing there with a new beer for him and one for himself with a hopeful but pained look on his face. Dean nodded in the most miniscule way that he knew nobody but Sam and-

Dean cringed at the thought of the angel as Sam joined him in the car.

“Are you-?”

Dean shut his eyes for a moment and Sam understood.

“Are you?” Dean said slowly not looking at him but Sam knew it was sincere. He didnt answer.

They sat in empty silence for about fifteen minutes.

“Do you remember when Cas was addicted to burgers when we were hunting Pestilence?"Dean remarked quickly and quietly, breaking the silence.

Sam chuckled lightly, remembering Cas’ face as he ate his burgers. Pure and unadulterated happiness. It was one of the only times Sam had seen that expression on his face.

"Do you remember when Cas showed up drunk when we were hunting the whore of Babylon?” Dean laughed out loud at this, half heartedly at first but he gained strength. Sam laughed along with him.

“Do you remember when Cas showed up and to you I was his favorite? Your face was perfect.” Dean mocked jokingly.

“No, I get it now. You and Cas have a more 'profound bond’. He met you first and you’ve been through more together. I understand. But can you tell me some stories of him, happy stories. I liked him as much as you did,” Sam stopped to cough. “But I don’t know a lot of happy stories about him and I want, like more to remember him by than all the sad memories.”

Dean started the story without looking at Sam, his face contorted in reminiscence. “So you were gone right, I was in a motel and Cas pops up behind me while I’m washing my hands. Tells me I have to help him catch Rafael. I agree because what better do I have to do. We go to this abandoned house and squat and Cas tells me he won’t make it out alive. Then he tells me he’s a virgin. I take him to a strip club. He gets with this girl Chastity and tells her it wasn’t her fault her dad left her mom, he just hated his job at the post office. She screams and we have to book it out of there. Then he calls Rafael his little bitch. It was so badass.”

The stories continued like this and in the end they were both laughing and crying and crying from laughing so hard and all the humor drowned out the sorrow they felt. As Sam finished the story of what Cas had said to him when he was drunk, their laughter had died down and Sam checked the clock. They had compiled an eight year friendship worth of memories into three hours.

They sat in silence again until Dean broke it by letting out a loud sob. “I loved him Sam.” He remarked brokenly. “I was in love with him and now he’s gone.”

“I know.” Sam embraced Dean from across the console and Dean sobbed as Sam cried with him.

#god i hope this doesn't happen in canon #like destiel canon #yay #but like at what cost #at what cost #destiel #spn #angst #destiel angst #dean winchester #dean and cas #castiel #Brianna writes #Bri's destiel trash