#oh and to the anon who sent the ask about a certain ship | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ab4eva · 2 months

Text

‘The Three of Us’

Fully co-authored with: @precious-little-scoundrel

Thanks to: My incomparable co-author & sweetheart Marina, for being willing to follow this rabbit hole with me and explore this little trio! And for the gorgeous mood board and vibes, I’m obsessed. And to Ashley, for being the best damn cheerleader we could ask for. ♥️

Warnings: All the sex, 18+ only

Word count: 8k

Sometimes in Hollywood, magic happens behind the scenes - in a dark corner of Bar Lubitsch or a little poolside bungalow at the Chateau Marmont. Things that are only whispered about in certain circles or sent to Deuxmoi with the stipulation of “anon please.” The blurry flash of a hand, littered with telltale rings, on her Instagram story. The paparazzi photos of a drunken night out before the three of them disappeared into the balmy Los Angeles evening. The fandom set ablaze by rumors as they combed over every sign, every possibility, every look that they took for god’s honest truth. A myth in the making, never confirmed, never denied.

When a ballsy journalist had the gumption to ask Callum about the rumors some months down the road, he just grinned his Cheshire smile and shook his head, the slightest blush hinting at the corners of his already ruddy cheeks.

“Nah, mate, can’t believe everyfing you read in Hollywood, can ya.” A statement, no trace of question in his ice blue eyes as he licked his cherry lips and stared the journalist down, daring them to dig deeper. His heart may have started pounding a little too hard but only he knew that. Nothing belied the steely gaze he turned on the journalist - not a flex in his jaw or a slight blink or the whisper of a breath. Needless to say, that journalist had no desire to go toe-to-toe with all six feet two inches of Chelsea’s finest lad. They let the subject drop, though the air had already been sucked out of the tiny interview room. Callum noted with suppressed glee the way the journalist shifted in their seat uncomfortably, trying to regain the upper hand.

Serves ya right, ya wanker, floated through Cal’s head and it took all his energy to focus his thoughts on the next question being asked of him. Now that the taboo subject had been brought up, he couldn’t keep his mind from drifting back towards that fateful night, like the breach in a ship’s hull the memories flooded in. The soft give of her flesh beneath his fingers as he dug them into her hips, needing her closer, closer. The salty taste of Austin’s skin on his tongue as he dragged it slowly across his friend’s collarbone, the streak of wetness left behind shimmering in the moonlight. The mingled sighs and shared breaths, overpowering and heady in that dark little bungalow. That was the night he couldn’t get out of his head, no matter how hard he tried. It didn’t matter how many books he read or women he kissed or bloody hikes he took in Runyon Canyon, he was always going back to the night when everything changed.

“Didn’t I see you at the Luchino Visconti retrospective a couple nights ago? At the Academy?” The very definition of tall, dark and handsome has just walked in the room, smiling down at you and waiting expectantly for your answer. This is Callum Turner, the new client you’re working with for Masters of the Air press (alongside Austin Butler, your regular client and current boyfriend-adjacent…guy. It’s casual, you’re both keeping it casual. For now.).

“Oh! Were you there? Wasn’t it amazing?” you gush, a little flustered.

“It’s kind of rare to meet another Visconti fan. You must be one of the good ones.” He grins at you, all warmth and puppy dog eagerness. A kindred spirit, an instant connection. You would be very charmed by him, if you weren’t already attached to someone else. Who are you kidding, you’re charmed by him anyway. Talking with him comes easily, and the time flies by as you style his hair, moisturize his skin, add a bit of concealer here and there. He’s funny, sweet, intelligent. Austin has told you a bit about him, about his friend who helped him during one of the most confusing times of his life. But this - this is more than you were expecting. He’s more than you were expecting. And you’re pretty sure he’s flirting with you. When he asks you out for a drink later, you’re absolutely certain. It is with no small amount of regret that you turn him down.

The first time you noticed something akin to a spark between the man you’d casually been dating and his co-star was during press interviews for their new television series, Masters of the Air. As Austin and Callum’s groomer and makeup artist, you were allowed a seat at the back of the room, near the video monitors, ready to jump into action if one of Austin’s curls needed to be twisted back into place or if Callum’s nose got too shiny and needed a bit of powder. You glanced up from your phone to see the two of them leaned so close together their shoulders touched, just barely. You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but Callum’s mouth looked as if it might graze the shell of Austin’s ear, a smirk playing at the edges, as his dark, curly head bent conspiratorially towards his friend’s blonde one. Silly boys, you thought, smiling to yourself as you watched them. You’d seen that look on Austin’s face before…it was almost one of… adoration.

Without warning your mind flashed back to last night, Austin gazing up at you through your thighs, a look of devotion on his face, his sandy hair ruffled and his eyes slightly dazed. The very same look that he’s now turned on Callum… Nah… You laughed at yourself quietly and shook your head to clear your thoughts, silently scolding yourself. You’d been reading too many spicy novels recently and clearly your imagination was running wild. It made sense that he and Callum were close. Austin had been lost as a newborn calf without a mother after Elvis had wrapped and Masters of the Air had started filming. A brotherhood, that’s what Austin had called it. And Callum had been his right hand man. And that’s all, you were sure. Pretty sure.

Bar Lubitsch is dim and noisy, crowded with cast and crew of Masters for an impromptu celebration while so many of them are in town. Austin hasn’t been here in years, always remembered it being a good time. He wants to show you and Callum a good time, after all the hard work you three have been putting in for press the past couple of weeks. That was two hours and three drinks ago, and you watch them now from your perch at the bar and how much they feed each other’s souls, like displaced brothers, reunited after years apart. The evening is starting to shift and blur, so many drinks and people and noise and singing. You never knew Callum loved to sing so much, until he was singing karaoke at the top of his lungs and the whole bar was gathered around the little stage in the back room, jumping to the beat while he sang the most risqué lyrics right to Austin, like they were the only two people in the room:

Even when the cold comes crashing through

I'm putting all my bets on you

I hope they never understand us

I put my heart inside your palms

My home in your arms

Now we know nothing matters

Nothing matters

And you can hold me like he held her

And I will fuck you like nothing matters

You’re not sure you’ll ever be over Callum pinching Austin’s cheeks, channeling his inner Egan, and singing right at him with drunken gusto while Austin is too tipsy to remember not to bask in it and it’s probably the cutest, and hottest, thing you’ve ever seen. It’s only afterwards that you start to feel a tiny flicker of jealousy. There’s something between them, a connection that time and distance hasn’t untethered. Later, you drag Austin into one of the faded velvet booths, snuggling up to him as he pulls you into a one-armed embrace, kissing your temple with glassy eyes and a crooked smile. His heady mix of sweat and cologne mingle, along with the alcohol, and suddenly you’re lightheaded. Not to mention the fact that his soft lips have seemed to have move, with lightning speed, from your temple to your neck. You gently push him away, and he gives you a questioning look but you need to see his face when you ask him this.

“Hey…what’s going on with Callum? Because, it’s clearly something? And whatever it is, it’s ok, really it is…but…I do have eyes, Austin,” you blurt out, biting your lip. You see a dozen different emotions cross his features, like a movie playing out in real time - surprise, guilt, defensiveness, longing, acceptance. His face goes all red and he leans his head back, his tan throat open and inviting, his Adam's Apple bobbing up and down as he swallows thickly. It takes everything in you not to kiss him right this second.

“It’s…complicated. Kind of,” he sighs as he stares up at the ceiling and you can tell he doesn’t want to talk about it and that’s answer enough for you. You don’t push him further as you quietly turn his mouth to yours and make him forget anything and everyone but you.

“Come on Aus, it’ll be just like old times,” Cal goads drunkenly, placing a proprietary hand on Austin’s belly, his words laden with meaning and a hint of pleading. It’s not like he’s missed Austin or anything…not like that. Not that he’d admit anyway, hell no. Couldn’t two dudes have a consensual thing and not be weird about it? It must be liquid courage that made him suggest it aloud. That and the fact Austin keeps looking at him like he hung the damn moon.

“Swear you’ll shut up? If I say yes, will you just…chill?” Austin’s eyes are trained on you and it takes everything in him to play it cool, keep a calm head. Cal’s hand is still on Austin’s stomach and he starts to pet him, just above the belt and it makes Austin lurch in sudden need. He licks his lips, they’re suddenly parched, and swallows hard. He hears Cal snicker softly in his ear.

“Now, see, as I recall, you wouldn’t stop asking me to keep sayin’ shit last time.” Callum’s voice floats above the music, scratchy from gin and karaoke, hot breath tickling the shell of Austin’s ear. His hand moves to squeeze Austin’s neck, and if Austin didn’t know any better he’d swear it was a subconscious power move, Callum trying to literally bend Austin to his will. There’s an all too familiar twitch down Austin’s pant leg, and oh god he wishes- he thought, he was so sure, he was past that phase of responding like one of Pavlov’s dogs to Callum’s adoration and teasing.

Maybe it’s just the notion, his suggestion. That’s what’s suddenly making Austin’s blood feel hot and his eyes hazy, it’s the idea of her…and him! But mostly her, just her, and sharing her and- None of that explains the way he wants to bend to that firm hand squeezing in drunken cajoling at the base of his neck, makes him want to knock noses and yank at the stupid collar of Callum’s sweater until there’s collarbones to see and a draft under the wool. This is winter in Los Angeles, heating inside is state of the art, there’s no reason for such coziness and it’s making the man sweat and all Austin can think of from the smell is memories of an English summer, worn out and floating in his own body, biting down on Callum’s upper arm, tangy, sweaty flesh to keep an awfully strange escapade quiet.

That does it. What is he even thinking? He must’ve drank more than he realized but then, oh god, there Cal goes, throwing his hands up in defeat, shrugging his shoulders like a kid caught trying to push his luck. The arm around his shoulder is suddenly gone, and he’d give anything to have it back again. He shakes his head - he really must’ve had too much to drink. It was making him melancholy and sobering him up fast. Funny how alcohol will do that to you.

“Scouts honor, Butler, I’ll-I’ll-I’ll,” he seems to search the ceiling in drunken concentration for the correct wording most likely to open the doors to the kingdom, “I’ll be- it’ll be: HER, YOU and a um, uh mannequin. How ‘bout that, mate? Good enough for ya? You’d probably like that, wouldn’t ya? Ya little freak!” He lands a playful right hook to Austin’s jaw, hard knuckles digging into soft cheeks.

The usually inflammatory epithet of ‘freak’, coming as it does from a man begging for a threesome with himself and his girl, is nothing short of rabidly complementary. Callum’s shit-eating, triumphant grin could light up the whole damn room in this moment. He knows he’s got Austin right where he wants him and starts to count down silently in his head - three…two…

Austin finds himself grinning, a warning, measured thing but a condoning of the sentiment all the same.

“One,” Cal says out loud, his arm going back around Austin’s shoulders, squeezing so hard Austin winces a little. It’s a reflective motion then, done almost without thinking, when Austin slaps Callum’s thigh, not realizing there’s a boner bent down that trouser leg. A wounded hiss leaves Callum’s lips as he caves in on himself a little bit and Austin freezes, his face turning crimson and he feels another twitch down his own trousers.

“Steady on mate,” Callum coughs, shaking a leg, trying to discreetly readjust. “And I thought I was the eager beaver here.” Austin wants to wipe that smirk right off Callum’s smug little face but the moment their eyes meet they can’t help but start to laugh. Giggles, really, which turn into loud guffaws that has the whole bar turning to see what the commotion is about.

Your head whips around at the sound you’ve grown to know well over the past few weeks, the loud and boisterous laughter of two friends who seem forget that anyone else exists when they’re together. You spot them, huddled close as they always seem to be, and shake your head. A grin tugs at your lips and threatens to spill out the feelings fluttering around in your chest, no your stomach, no…somewhere else, lower. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t think about the two of them…together. Sometimes you’re with them, sometimes you’re not, in these little fantasies of yours. You catch yourself biting your lip and staring at them a little too longingly. You wonder what they’re saying now, both of them look flustered and awkward, just slightly. You can actually feel the tension rolling off of them in waves from where you stand across the bar.

Austin chooses that moment to look up and catch your eye. There’s a fire in his gaze that wasn’t there earlier and what is that look on his face? You’ve never seen it before…shy and almost…guilty? He looks just like a little boy who’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Your eyes question him across the dim bar, an unspoken tether ties you together wherever you are, and uncertainty about the deal he’s just struck with Callum comes creeping in. What has gotten into him? He’s just agreed to share you, with another man. And not just any man, one he has a rather interesting history with. The thought of Callum touching you, kissing you, fucking you…suddenly he’s stone cold sober and beginning to regret letting Cal sway his decision. Because there sure as hell won’t be any take backs, not with Callum. He’s like a dog with a bone once he gets what he wants.

“Dude no, there’s chemical flavoring in there, that shit’s bad for you and it’ll give her irritation!” Austin looks slightly perturbed, not for the first time this evening. He sways slightly under the florecent lights of the drugstore, the constant buzzing adding to the pounding in his head.

“What if it’s not intended to go on her? Hmm? Thought of that Butler?” Callum murmurs under his breath, his eyes focused solely on the lube he’s holding, a pink blush creeping up his neck to his ears. Has a blush under drugstore fluorescents ever looked so lovely? And Austin hasn’t stopped biting that lower lip since you walked into this place. It hasn’t stopped him from grinning, though, his excitement bubbling through in little ticks and tells, the nervous turning over of the vaseline jar in his large hands.

“You haven’t even bought me dinner Cal, just straight to the flavored lube,” Austin bemoans, faking offense. “’Sides, she’s already sweet enough, aren’t you baby? I’ve had my fair share of licks,” Austin’s shoulder bumps yours as he sends you a smoldering look, his eyes flickering down your body briefly before his cheeks turn a slight rosy color you can see blooming up from his chest through his open shirt collar.

“Austin!” you hiss, slapping his arm playfully and hiding your face in his neck, embarrassed.

“Leave it to you two twig Bettie’s and we’d be down to nothin’ but socks and coconut oil,” Cal snarks, not at all inaccurately.

“I don’t remember you minding coconut oil last time,” Austin says under his breath, clearly meant for Callum’s ears only, but you manage to catch it, and your heart starts to pound at the implied meaning.

“Mmm, and it was bitter so - mojito,” Callum says decidedly, leaving no room for argument. Austin smiles at you, lifting his shoulder in a shrug and rolling his eyes heavenward. You giggle nervously, wondering for the first time just what you’re getting yourself into.

“I saw that! Listen mate, feel free to shut me up at any time. This would do nicely, ya reckon?” Callum lifts a silk sleeping mask with one, long finger and swings it around seductively, waggling his eyebrows up and down comically. You laugh and the butterflies making a home in your ribcage start to settle down again.

The whimpers emanating from between your parted lips take you by surprise and you promptly shut your mouth, unexpectedly embarrassed to be mewling so wantonly. You bite your lip as it becomes harder and harder to hold them in with every slow thrust of Austin’s velvety cock filling you, his swollen tip hitting just the right spot, and every flick of Callum’s tongue as he laves at your tender little clit with vigor. You feel Austin tense slightly beneath you as Cal swirls his tongue down to your opening to lap at where you and Austin join, sloppy and wet. A soft moan floats past your left ear, Austin’s hot breath sending a shiver through you, and it seems to invigorate Callum as he doubles down on his efforts to have his tongue cover as much surface area as possible. He chuckles and it jolts through you as your back arches, your fingers finding his dark curls and yanking him closer, demanding something you aren’t even aware of. He understands what you need even if you don’t and as his lips close around your sensitive bud you can no longer keep quiet, keening softly. You practically buck off of Austin’s lap and his arm tightens around your waist to keep you in place. The harder Callum sucks, the more Austin starts to whine - you’ve gotten so tight around him he can hardly thrust.

“Oh fuck, what’re you doing? Cal…what…” you slur as you pull at his hair, trying to dislodge him from your clit. You feel him grin against your heat as he slowly slips two fingers in you, resting them alongside Austin’s length. You hiss at the stretch and Austin starts to pick up his pace again. Your head is too hazy with pleasure to register fully what is happening as Callum gently slides another finger in next to the first two. His mouth works your clit, sucking and pulling, harder then soft again.

“More…more more more,” you beg hoarsely. You feel as if you might fly away and the only thing anchoring you to earth are these two men and their hands and their mouths on your body. Callum cocks an eyebrow at you and his eyes shift to Austin. You feel him nod, barely, and then another burning stretch as Cal slips his pinkie in next to his other fingers. It drives you insane and you feel yourself clenching and coming, harder than you can ever remember. You stop breathing for a moment, your mind going numb with rapture as you come apart at the seams.

“Oh fuck,” Austin whispers, biting your shoulder, his hand absentmindedly palming your breasts, pinching your hardened nipple. “Come on baby, I know you’ve got more, give us another one. Cal, can’t thrust with you in there…give me some room, huh?”

Callum let’s go of your clit with a wet pop and gently slides his fingers out. His nose and chin are shiny with your juices, even his eyebrows look a little damp and he’s grinning from ear to ear.

“Go on then, Butler, show us what you got.” He stands, knees popping as he does. From up here he can see your faces clearly, yours and Austin’s. He watches, rapt, as Austin nuzzles your neck, nipping at your earlobe as he speeds up his thrusts, toying with your nipples mercilessly. Your eyes flutter closed and your head drops back onto his shoulder. Callum shakes his head, dazed and pussy drunk - why was he on his knees so long?? He coulda been watching this the whole time? But he knows why- fresh, homegrown pussy. And he means to have his fill. He can’t take being on the sidelines, watching Austin move in and out of you at a punishing pace, having all the fun. One of Callum’s massive palms descends onto your clit, slapping and rubbing cruelly, back and forth, faster and faster. And then you’re gushing everywhere, all over Callum’s hand and Austin’s cock and the bed, soaking everything.

“Come on then girl, give us all you’ve got,” Cal encourages, his raspy voice driven to the point of hoarseness. He grabs his painfully hard, throbbing cock and roughly starts to slap your clit. You gasp, jerking in Austin’s arms as you fall apart again. And then Callum gets a thought, because his dick is doing most of the thinking just now, and it’s been sadly neglected thus far. He’s just had four fingers in you and now you’re literally flinging droplets with each swipe, it’s a goddamn swamp down there it’s so wet. He slows his slaps and starts to rub soft circles against your clit, stopping every once in a while to try your entrance gently, just to see. You moan breathlessly and his heart speeds up as he looks at Austin questioningly.

“I recognize that gleam in your eye, Turner…spit it out,” Austin says in a slightly strangled voice.

“Think you can take us both, angel? At the same time?” Callum directs his question to you, ignoring Austin.

You can’t take your poor abused clit getting ground on anymore, it’s just too intense, anything to give it a break. You nod your head so fast he thinks it might fly off. Your trembling little hand reaches down with disjointed begs of “Put it in baby, put it, please Cal, it’s burning.”

Your sloppy wet pussy hole visibly clenches with a tiny space of room left each time Austin digs in. Callum drunkenly wonders if they should have a medical professional on standby for this sorta shit, like it’s gotta be a crime to wedge two boys into a girl, especially when Butler’s packing like that. But your whine suggests you need it and he’d really like to not be left out. FOMO -that’s what he’ll blame when he’s driving the ambulance or else coming down from the craziest high he’s ever had with a pool of cum drying on his belly.

Austin goes still as a statue under you and drags your sweaty hair across to the other shoulder so he can really see your face and ask, “You sure? Baby, talk to me, you really wanna try?” His hand gently grips your chin, forcing you to focus on his eyes, his question.

“I’ll die if I don’t have you both,” you plead, your voice barely above a whisper, but Austin still looks concerned and slightly perturbed. Is the girl he knows even in there? But you want something, you want this and he’ll be dammed if he doesn’t give you anything you want that’s within his power to give. And if there’s one thing he loves about you it’s your love of a challenge. He bites his cheek, trying not to blow his load over your sweet determination.

“Ok ok.” Austin takes a deep, steadying breath, kissing your wet temple and gives Callum a very familiar look of admonishment and also trust in his good intentions. “Careful, man, really careful,” he instructs as Callum nods his silent assent.

“No safe words, just if somebody says stop we stop, ok?” Austin’s starting to pant, as he can feel the poofy mushroom head of Cal’s cock brushing his sack at your entrance. “Anybody who says stop,” he clarifies, half thinking he might be the first to wimp out and do it.

“Yeah, yeah, ‘course.” Cal actually looks sober as fuck except for the sheen of sweat that always seems to come with his pints and somehow the eye contact he makes lights a fire in Austin’s belly.

“I might say no,” you squeak, “I won’t mean it though, just a heads up. I’ll say stop- if I need to stop.”

“No?” Cal laughs nervously. “That might make me feel a little…bad,” he admits, still rubbing maddening circles around where Austin’s been practically cockwarming you for ages.

“Stop getting all existential and give her what she wants, man,” Austin rebuts.

“It’ll make me feel bad if she says no,” Cal blurts, running a hand through his already messy hair.

“Then I’ll do it.” Austin’s voice is rough in your ear and your nipples harden into peaks as he gently pulls out of you and pats the bed. “Tell Cal to lay his big ass self down.”

You giggle as Callum dives onto the bed, bouncing for a moment until he settles, turning over onto his back, head propped on a lazy forearm. He pats his meaty thighs and you roll your eyes but can’t deny the flip flop your stomach does at the thought of those thighs and what a nice cradle they’ll make while you’re railed within an inch of you’re life. And then you’re hovering over him, Cal kneading your hip encouragingly while running an admiring hand up and down your spine, like you’re a skittish horse in need of calming. You hesitate, momentarily unsure, but Austin nods at you reassuringly from the foot of the bed and ever the gentleman, gives you his hands to hold as you sink slowly down on Callum. Though his gentlemanly hands are gripping yours tightly, his eyes are glued to your pussy taking every inch of uncut Brit cock that he’s maybe gagged on once.

“Earth to Butler!” comes from behind you because Austin’s zoned out a little and it’s been a hot minute and you’re somewhat situated now.

“Oh, yeah, yeah, uh, ok, ok…”

Cal snickers before crunching up behind you, his chest hot against your back as he wraps his arms around you. “You feel lovely, darlin’, wanna lay back wif’ me? Don’t mind him, he’s lost it. Always goes a bit soft in the head around a pretty pussy or my cock.”

It’s a lot from this position and laying back against Callum’s chest is intense. You feel like he’s fully in your belly and it stretches your womb over him. He feels different…his isn’t as wet as Austin’s little water fountain but it throbs more noticeably, sending little shocks of pleasure through you. Cal pets your belly soothingly and spreads your pussy lips for Austin to really get a look at. You whine and squirm, realizing again the want for more. Those fingers dabbling at your entrance, threatening to push inside you once more and that’s when Austin breaks, recalling that’s what he and his cock are here for.

“Yeah, ok, ok, present and accounted for. Move your hand,” he murmurs, swiping Cal’s hand away. He thumbs at you himself for a bit, just to be sure and to watch as Cal loses his cool facade for a second when you clench tightly around him.

“Still sure about this, baby?” He asks one more time as he’s pressing at the ring and the burn has you bracing. You feel Cal’s hand move from your waist to your thigh, behind your knee, cupping it and dragging it wide, spreading you apart before you’ve even said your piece. The vote of confidence does you good and you take a deep breath, nodding once, decisively.

“Then put me in, angel,” Austin tells you, fat cockhead already snagged in but there’s a little ripple in his hard cock from the resistance of the tight space. Steeling yourself, you reach down and wrap your fingers around him, tugging him closer and slowly feeding his thickness into you alongside Cal’s, who starts thrashing his head and moaning at the drag like he’s the one getting breached.

“Good girl, good girl, please more…know you can take more.” Cal’s begging for cock by proxy and it alters your brain somehow. Austin’s too, he puts his hips into the effort and soon he’s gotten past the muscles at your command and into the threshold where you can’t manage to push him out if you tried. It makes you panic a little, but Cal is softly shushing in your ear, a distracting thumb stroking behind your knee, other freckled hand mauling a tit and begging you to take more cock so he can get friction.

“She can take it, come on, Austin,” he vouches for you, a little self promotion as you can’t even form words right now. Somewhere about six inches in your vocabulary consists of yelped little “fuck’s”and whimpering “I cant’s”.

Austin caresses your cheek, commanding you to look at him, his blue eyes focused in on yours, “That’s it baby, just a little more. You’re doing so good for us… such a good girl.”

Callum grab’s Austin’s shoulder and brings him fully deeper, which is all well and good when Austin kisses your forehead and insists raggedly, “You are doing it, baby.”

When he finally pushes in that last little bit, you lose any control you thought you had, instantly coming from the stretch and threatening to push Austin out. But he presses nothing less than his full weight on you, keeping you in place and himself snug inside next to Callum. You gasp for air and wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, clinging to him. Austin tries to remember to breathe and promptly forgets how when he makes eye contact with Callum for the first time since being balls deep.

“Are you -is that you…twitching?”

“Woulda thought you’d remember that,” Callum smirks. “Coulda sworn I recall you saying something about it jumping like a live wire in your hand?”

“Christ, well it feels different all…snuggled up next to mine,” Austin grits out, coloring slightly.

After a moment or two, when breath has been regained and a few laughs shared and some semblance of sanity restored in right spaces, Cal starts to pepper every inch of your neck and cheeks in kisses. Now that he’s not so desperate he’s become utterly grateful for you, for this. The kisses turn into sloppy, wet groans in your ear as Austin begins to move and Cal’s hand is gripping your jaw, his eyes locked on Austin, your legs thrown wide over his thighs, spread to the max and he’s a perfect recliner. He throws his other arm across your chest in a loving armbar, holding you still on top of him, “So Butler can get a rhythm, baby.”

Austin looms above you both, finding his pace, measured and steady. His beautiful face is flushed full of awe and there’s a heat in his gaze you’ve never seen before. He puts his hand on Callum’s shoulder for leverage, long fingers digging into freckled flesh and Cal promptly lays a little smooch on Austin’s forearm with a cheeky grin. Austin’s eyes shift and change, become a deeper blue and an expression you can’t read flits across his face as he jabs a particularly hard thrust into you. Callum starts to whimper and squirm when he realizes Austin’s thrusts are rubbing him too well, and it's not just you who’s getting their spot hit - that spot being his foreskin being drug back and forth in maddening little drags.

“Y’all like that? Feel good?” Austin growls lowly, rhythmic thrusts pushing you and Callum deeper into the fluffy white sheets, both of your whimpers combining until you can’t tell who they belong to. Austin groans and drives in harder, his white knuckles gripping Callum’s shoulder hard, while he reserves his tenderest touch for you, rubbing his thumb back and forth across your cheek.

“You’re…enjoying this…” you manage to moan between thrusts. His face splits into a grin as he pushes all the way in, pausing for a moment to kiss you hard, all tongues and teeth and desperation.

“Oh, fuck mate, that’s so good. Oh my god,” Callum babbles. “Right there, fuck, right there. You feel so good.”

“Which one, baby girl? Me or her?” Austin smirks.

For once, Callum has no witty response except the heavy panting in your ear. He squeezes your waist harder and his fingernails indent your hip and it gives you something else to focus on while you catch your breath, a tiny escape from the mind-blowing ecstasy you feel and the slight alarm bells ringing in your head. You can feel Callum somehow expanding and growing inside of you, even bigger than he was before. Austin’s eyes go wide and a look of panic crosses his face - his perfect pink mouth forms a perfect “o”.

“Oh shit, what…why is everything so fucking tight again…what is happening,” Austin groans breathlessly, his mouth set in a determined line, teeth ground together so hard you worry momentarily he might break a tooth. He tightens his grip on Callum’s shoulder and Cal’s massive hand encircles Austin’s delicate wrist, knuckles white as he holds on for dear life.

“Faster…faster,” Cal begs, again and again. “Sorry no, mate it’s, it’s fuckin’ happenin’…oh fuck.” His head cranes forward and you can feel his belly and hips flexing beneath you as he tenses over and over, letting out a hoarse sort of howl as he comes. His warmth fills you and it shakes something loose in your head, your own stomach starting to clench as you grab a handful of Austin’s golden hair, urging him on. Callum’s hands are all over you, petting you everywhere as he starts to come down.

“S’ok I came in ya? Yeah? Good, ‘cause I did,” he whispers hoarsely with a remorseful little laugh, back to babbling to you now that Austin’s got him there. He wipes the sweaty hair from your forehead, tucking a piece of it behind your ear and kisses your neck, whispering encouraging words, “That’s it, babe, give us another one.”

Cal’s bitten off little whimpers spur you on, as his soft cock is trapped in there too, getting pummeled. He’s trying to focus on you, with little pets and murmurs of encouragement but you feel his jaw clench as he grits his teeth, taking the pounding Austin is giving the both of you.

“Got me feelin’ like a proper woman, squealin’ n’ shit, Aus.”

You feel another orgasm build and shake through you, one of the many countless times you’ve fallen apart tonight, but this one stands out. It would bring you to your knees if you were unlucky enough to be standing at this moment. You’re sure it has something to do with knowing you’re satisfying two men at once, Callum having found his release and Austin being close to his. You can tell he’s on the verge by the little signs you’ve grown to recognize over the course of your relationship. The way his forehead creases in between his brows - you’ve kissed it away a dozen times in the heat of the moment. The way his pulse beats on the side of his neck, his vein there popping out and becoming more prominent. The short little huffs of breath he inhales, in quick succession - one, two, three, bam, bam, bam, like three shots straight to your heart. It’s your turn to take care of him, the last one standing after he made sure you and Cal got yours.

“Your turn, baby,” you whisper, pulling his forehead down to meet yours, thumbing at the hollows of his cheeks as he begins to tremble and his thrusts turn sloppy. He kisses you again, sucking on your tongue before moving to latch onto your neck. Cal wraps a hand around Austin’s throat, pushing his head back and squeezing just enough for his eyes to widen and his mouth to pop open. His blue eyes darken and you think he’s going to put his mouth on you again, but he bypasses you and goes straight for Callum’s collarbone, his perfect, white teeth sinking into Callum’s lovely English skin and biting down, hard. Cal yelps but doesn’t let go of Austin’s neck, and that’s when you feel it, your belly filled with warmth again as Austin pulses and twitches inside you, a stuttered moan muffled into the crook of Callum’s shoulder. He collapses on top of you and Callum, completely and utterly spent, the three of you breathing heavily and unable to move for a few moments. You squirm a tiny bit, trying to take a deep breath with one man plastered to your front and another to your back.

Austin gets the hint and lifts himself back up on shaky arms, slipping out of you with a squelch. You gasp one final time, at the sudden loss of him, and a cold emptiness is left where he once filled you to the brim, almost to breaking. The coldness is replaced quickly by a gushing warmth spilling out of you. You feel Callum suck in a breath, his broad chest expanding beneath you, his right arm still wrapped tightly around your chest.

“Christ, it’s running down my balls,” he wheezes out, taking another shuddering breath.

Austin braces himself against the headboard and slowly disentangles himself, flopping limply beside you on the bed. He looks at you and Cal still entwined, his eyes moving from both of your faces flushed with heat, down to Callum’s arm still tightly wrapped around you, one large, meaty hand gripping your breast, his middle finger absentmindedly pressing the sensitive bud of your nipple down. Austin sucks in breath after breath, and his eyes travel lower, to your legs still splayed wide over Callum’s sturdy thighs, his softening cock still nestled deep inside you, the spend of both men slowly dripping out of you. A sudden flash of possessiveness roars through him - for you, for Callum. For the sacred thing he has with both of you. His face goes numb and his ears start to ring. But it’s gone as quickly as it appeared.

“What is it, Aus?” you whisper, stretching out a hand to him. He looks forlorn, alone on the other side of the bed, his vulnerable face a mix of emotions crashing together all at once, lost and unsure, the gravity of everything settling on his shoulders like a blanket.

“Come back to us.” Your fingertips barely reach to brush his bronzed chest, the little blonde hairs soft against your skin. “Please.”

He lets out a breath you didn’t realize he was holding and crawls back over, wrapping his arms around you both and collapsing on top of you again. You’re hilariously squished in the middle of a bear hug now, both men squeezing with all their might, a strange show of masculinity to mask true feelings.

“I can’t breathe….” you manage between giggles. Callum lets out a soft chuckle in your ear, his breath warm against your cheek as his arm shifts beneath you. He digs his fingers into Austin’s armpit and wiggles them around none too gently. Austin bucks against you and squeaks out an uncharacteristically high laugh, trying to squirm out of Cal’s grasp, but it’s too strong and Austin’s body feels like jelly just now.

“Hey! Hey hey, no fair…you know I hate… being… tickled…” Austin grunts out, trying desperately to writhe out of this strange embrace.

Bright, cheerful sunshine spills onto the hotel room floor and across the bed, where it has no right to be at this ungodly hour. It shines in unabashedly, through drapes you forgot to close properly in all of your horny desperation. A little sliver of verdant green Hollywood hills is the only signal from the outside world. In here, somewhere between sleeping and waking, in that hazy early morning dreamland, you register Austin tucked up close behind you, his knees pushing the backs of yours and his warm, heavy arm slung over your waist. This is how you wake up every morning and you scoot your bottom back, into the cradle of his hips, momentarily unaware of the pulverization of your insides. But scenes from last night play out like a clip reel inside your head almost as soon as you’re conscious. You squeeze your eyes tight, refusing to give the sun its due. You stretch your legs gingerly, wiggling your toes against Austin’s, and take stock of things. There’s the obvious ache between your legs - more of a throbbing fire, if the truth is to be told. Your nipples seem to remember the previous evening’s activities as well because they immediately harden and stand at attention. And you can’t feel them yet but you’re pretty sure you have a few bruises, too. Ah well, you think as you yawn lazily, that’s what makeup is for.

You blink one eye open (it’s so bright in here!) and the first thing you encounter is a massive arm right next to your nose, tiny, golden hairs glinting in the sunlight. The second thing you see is Cal, on his belly and sans sheets or clothes, his lush and muscular bottom swelling above the white duvet beneath him. His adorable face is pressed into the pillow next to yours, dark curls swirling across his forehead and day’s worth of stubble dots his jaw. He feels your eyes on him, he’s only been snoozing for a bit, waiting for you two to wake up. He cracks one bright, blue eye open and stares back at you a moment. He senses a rush of what he feels everytime he sees you but this time it’s magnified by endearment and gratitude. Then, his face lights up, still smushed into the pillow and a massive, squinty grin splits his face. Your heart gives a funny little leap inside your chest and you find that your fingers are caressing his cheek softly, of their own volition and you resist the urge to kiss the little freckle under his mouth. He grabs your hand and kisses your fingertips, holding them to his warm lips as he smiles. And suddenly, any worry about things being weird has evaporated, as has any possibility of him being a third wheel. He just belongs.

“Hey! Quit making goo-goo eyes at my girl.” Austin’s gravelly morning voice rumbles from behind you playfully, and quick as lightning the arm still draped around your waist reaches over and smacks Callum’s ass, hard. The slap echoes around the room and you see the pale flesh of his bottom bounce and reverberate with the force of it. Cal, and his red, pillow creased face, jolts forward, yelling and jerking in the sheets, which in turn rubs his raw cock. This causes a chain reaction of events which results in him immediately pulling a sore muscle and flopping back down on the bed, moaning and rubbing his reddening backside.

“No fair, bruv,” he groans into the pillow. “That was too fuckin’ close to my balls.”

Austin chuckles and swats your ass gently for good measure. Slowly, everyone starts to shift and stir. First there are whines about soreness and muscles. Then about how sticky it all is. Then about who’s gonna order room service - but more pressingly, who’s gonna walk to the mini bar and grab a water. And then there’s an argument about who’s voice is less hoarse to call for the food - this ends up being you, hilariously. Then there’s moaning arguments about who is intact enough to wobble to the door and tip the server. In between massive amounts of doting and fretting over you, obviously. The boys are ever attentive, fluffing your pillows and making sure you’re comfortable while they feed you omelets and sausage and pancakes until your energy is restored. Over breakfast in bed, the arguments continue about who’s more bruised up - there’s a nasty bite mark on Cal’s collarbone but the fingerprints around Austin’s neck are a fair rival. There’s a panicked and very male discussion about emergency rooms when you admit you can barely move. But you manage to convince them that a nice, hot soak in the tub would do you wonders right about now. So Austin goes to draw you a bath while Callum helps you out of bed, wrapping a protective arm around your waist, and guiding you to the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later you’re starting to feel somewhat restored and a little more like yourself. The boys take turns showering, getting ready for the screening event later today. They go about it quietly though, almost reverently, leaving you to relax in peace. You turn the hot water on again, you’ve soaked so long it’s turning tepid but you’re not ready to relinquish this luxury. You ask Austin to bring you your makeup kit, eying the marks on both of them that need covering up. First Austin, then Callum, one after the other they kneel beside the tub in only their dress pants, chest and feet still bare. There are bruises and hickies and bite marks on clavicles and necks and wrists. Poor Callum, with his delicate, reactionary British skin has what looks like beard burn over half his chest and up the side of his throat. You turn sideways in the fancy clawfoot bathtub, gingerly dabbing concealer here and there, doing the best you can to cover up any evidence of last night's revels. Austin sits patiently, a towel underneath his knees to buffer the hard tile floor, and watches you with his kind, enigmatic ocean eyes. They’re distracting, those eyes, as they watch your face, every blink and every smile.

“What is it, Aus? Something on your mind?” you finally murmur, unable to take such naked contemplation any longer.

“You’re incredible, you know that?” He smooths the hair back from your forehead, rubbing a silky piece between his fingers. “I’m so lucky.”

Callum slouches against the doorway and lets out a quiet hum. “I think you mean we’re lucky, mate. The three of us.”

Tagging some Austin & Callum lovers I know: @jelliedonut @crazymadpassionatelove @elvisabutler @slowsweetlove @stylespresleyhearted @steph-speaks @blurredcolour @pearlparty

#austin butler #callum turner #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler smut #austin butler fic #austin butler imagine #callum turner fanfiction #callum turner smut #Callum Turner fic #callum turner imagine #the three of us #marina does it again #written by ab4eva

832 notes · View notes

queermania · 4 months

Note

I don't want to start drama and I don't expect you to respond to this but I think you deserve to know what's being said about you. tumblr. com/transfagbenny/738678589192552448/and-id-appreciate-if-we-stopped-using-the-terms

i actually am going to address this because this person has been lying about what's been going on for months and they've apparently been harassing other people for months if not years, so. it's time to put an end to this.

before i start though i want to make it abundantly clear that if you take this as an opportunity to do anything other than block this person, then you are trash. do not send him messages. do not tag him in things. do not harass him in any way. leave him alone. if you need to block, do so and then move on. hate mail and harassment is disgusting behavior and i don't want to be surrounded by anybody who engages in it. and if you do it on my behalf, i think you are worthless and i want nothing to do with you.

so, this is what happened: back in february of 2023, an anon asked me if i had any opinions that would get me canceled with the dean girlies. i replied, "oh now we’re talking!! hmmmm let’s see. i don’t care about benny at all. deanbenny does nothing for me. deanbenny is dust. it is dust. drowley rights forever" and i did not tag it because i'm not an asshole. bear then sent me a message that at the time i thought was funny/cute because his url reflected that he was obviously a huge benny fan. we had a very cordial exchange. everything was good. we chatted a little bit about how neat it would've been if benny had been played by a black actor and how the racism problem with gordon would've been fixed if gordon had been played by a white actor. not all of our conversation is visible anymore (and i also don't think all of it was on this post anyway) because i've since blocked him so his replies no longer show up on my posts. the point is: everything was fine. it was a good tumblr exchange. he continued to follow me. i did not follow him then or at any point.

the problem is that he kept coming onto my posts and into my inbox to try to make things about benny. that is not okay. i had already said that benny was a character (and deanbenny a ship) that i was not interested in. to me, this is an obvious boundary i've established that he repeatedly crossed. it's not an egregious violation, obviously. more than anything it's annoying. what he should've done, if benny was that important to him, was unfollow me and move on. but he didn't and i indulged him for awhile but at a certain point i thought, "okay maybe if i stop indulging him, he'll take the hint." so i stopped responding. he did not take the hint. he got worse and he even started commenting on things that he couldn't make about benny, just to willfully misinterpret things i said and taking them completely out of context. unfortunately, i don't have receipts for any of this because at the time i didn't know it was going to become an actual problem (however I have since learned that this is an established pattern of behavior he engages in, so you can probably find examples on other people's blogs).

it got so annoying, though, that i very carefully broached the subject in a private server with people i trusted. without naming any names or using any incriminating language (i.e. not specifically referencing benny), i basically said that there was someone being annoying about a specific character on my posts and i wasn't sure what to do about it. immediately, a handful of people replied with some variation of "the benny stan? he's been doing that to me too." i do have receipts of this (and an entire server to back me up) but i hope you can all understand why i'm not going to provide those or name names (or ask anyone to get involved publicly). the point is, it became apparent that i wasn't the only one and this was a pattern of behavior. i also learned during that conversation that bear has a history of harassing people and calling someone racist or a transphobe if they block him.

at that point, i decided not to rock the boat. i would just continue to ignore him and maybe he would get bored and move on. well that obviously didn't happen. he kept doing it and as a fun added bonus, he started to make vague posts about me. the thing is i don't actually care if he vagueblogs about me. it's his blog. he can do whatever he wants. it's none of my business. i mean i personally think he should've just unfollowed but, again, his blog, his choice. it is annoying that every single time he would do it, someone would send me a link or a screenshot of him doing it, but that's not really his fault. so, again, i just ignored it.

this is where we get to the incident in question. after a private discussion among a small group of friends, i posted this obviously joke poll at the insistence of @letterstothedevil, a tumblr user who has given me permission to include her in this.

the original message about the poll:

the permission:

now EYE think it's abundantly clear that the poll was a joke amongst friends, but maybe it wasn't, and i'm not going to fault anyone for not magically knowing that. i am, however, totally willing to fault someone for being a gigantic asshole. bear commented on the post and i, admittedly, gave a somewhat dismissive response because at that point i was so tired of him being willfully obtuse and twisting every little thing i said that i just didn't want to bother. he then went and made a series of not-at-all-vague posts calling me racist and claiming that i simply do not care about the racism in the show and it's obvious because i've never ever discussed it on my blog (which is a hilarious lie given that i'd specifically discussed it on my blog with him). at that point, there was no reason not to block him. he was already doing the thing that i didn't want to deal with. so i did. and i thought that would be the end of it.

again, i was wrong.

i then started to get anon messages daily about benny and deanbenny and how i'm racist for not liking benny, etc. this was harassment that EYE was on the receiving end of. nobody else was a victim of the messages i was being sent. they were sent to me and it is not my job to make sure other people are protected from the harassment that i am experiencing. i'm pointing this out for two reasons: 1. because i did try to protect bear from it for awhile anyway. i knew that people would assume it was him and at the time i was still giving him the benefit of the doubt, if for no other reason than the fact that i didn't think he could send me messages since i blocked him. and 2. because when i did finally start to respond to some of the messages, bear acted like he was somehow the victim in all of this (and continues to act that way to this day).

i don't know if bear had (or currently has) anything to do with any of the messages i get (which, thankfully, have slowed considerably). what i do know is that at no point during any of this happening did he stop looking at my blog and vagueblogging about me.

when i finally did answer a few of the messages, bear had a bit of a meltdown about it. i know this because he used a separate account that i hadn't know existed to message me and because he talked to one of my friends about it. (i'm not going to name that person but if they want to get involved publicly of their own accord, that's up to them lol). i'm also not going to share screenshots of what bear said to me because he explicitly asked me not to (it's also the reason i'm not sharing screenshots of the numerous receipts i have of the things he's said and lied about on his blog but, unless he's deleted any of them, you can go and find the posts yourselves.) what i am going to share is that in the message he sent to me, he flat out lied about his behavior. he told me he hadn't been vague-blogging about me, that he would never ever do that about anyone, and that he would certainly never harass someone (all things that i have receipts of him doing).

it took me awhile to respond to this message because i was still trying to be gracious about the whole situation. i recognize that he is much younger than i am and i think it's important for me, as a full blown adult, to take that into account. i had a private discussion with a few trusted friends about how to handle this because it was important to me to not let him off the hook for his behavior and for lying just because he's young. this is what i ended up saying:

his response was to double-down on his lies (while, hilariously, vague-blogging about me and the whole thing) and then go into victim mode about something so completely unrelated and far-fetched that i decided i simply wanted nothing to do with him ever. (this is when he asked me not to share screenshots, so i won't, but this is me saying that i have ALL of the receipts, bear, so if you continue to lie, you will not like what happens.) i blocked his alternate account and tried to ignore him.

the harassment continued. again, i have no idea if he was actually part of it. the vagueblogging continued. he started to do it to other people he associated with me. many of them blocked him because of his behavior. i continued to answer some of the hate i received, continued to ignore and/or block most of it. it got so bad that i was sent seizure bait on more than one occasion, one time bad enough that i actually ended up going to the ER. there are receipts of all of this, too. you can see on my blog the messages i've been sent. i think at one point i even shared a snapshot of what my inbox looked like. i've shared privately with friends (who can confirm if they want to, but no pressure) screenshots of the kinds of messages i get that i don't respond to. the point is, that for a period of months, i was relentlessly harassed. and at no point during this time did i say anything to or about bear (or anyone else). the most i've done is respond to messages that have been sent to me. i've largely sat quietly while this thing happened to me and bear continued to make posts about me and act like he is somehow a victim in this. he's assumed things about me and my identity. he's violated boundaries i've set. he will not let this go. and i'm not the only one he's doing it to.

i'm so fucking tired of it. leave me alone. leave my blog alone. leave my friends alone. leave any and all of the people who have blocked you for your own inappropriate and obnoxious behavior alone. that's it. that's the end. none of this would be happening if you would just respect other people's boundaries. i don't want you on my blog. i do not want to interact with you. i don't want anything to do with you. that's it. the end.

#replies #anonymous #wank for ts

222 notes · View notes

acescorazon · 6 months

Note

Buggy x Mihawk x Crocodile prompt: Mihawk and Crocodile's bullying and beatings start taking a toll on Buggy, especially since he's somehow fallen irrevocably in love with both his "business partners". After a incident where Crocodile goes too far and Mihawk actually intervenes to stop him, Buggy falls fully into despair and decides to fully fall into the ocean to certain death. He waits until late at night and sneaks off to the docks. He falls in and expects the end but just as everything goes dark he sees a pair of golden eyes and hands reaching for him. When Buggy opens his eyes again he's very much alive, with Mihawk and Crocodile keeping vigil over him. Mihawk is mighty pissed and Crocodile is uncomfortable in his guilt. They figure things out eventually, messily and all.

Bestie if you didn't read this post, this is for you (as well as some of my other anons/ ppl who sent in requests ) LOL (it explains my shenanigans.)

ANYWAYS!!! Bby your idea...she's giving slow burn...she's giving...make it hurt...She's giving multi-chapter series realness. She deserves so much more than a one shot. She's a star who deserves to shine brightly...and i'm giving her what she deserves LOL. i don't have a title, so fuck it we ball, but consider this a prologue since it just really goes over Cross Guild's past briefly. So for anyone about to read,i'm not telling you how to live your life, but i'm juuuust saying you might want to have read up to like Ch 1082?

The sounds of canons being fired and screaming can be heard all over the island, and Buggy swears that he’s moments away from having a full blown panic attack. Why now? Why did they suddenly decide to abolish the warlord system? Buggy was just starting to enjoy his newfound power and, more importantly, protection. His men keep screaming at him, begging for him to do something because Buggy’s so strong and powerful, and mighty after all. He sailed the sea with Gol. D Rogers, Dark King Rayleigh, and a young Red Haired Shanks after all. He ‘led’ a prison escape after all. He ‘fought’ in the war after all… He’s the one who’s a former warlord of the sea after all… Buggy must be a formidable foe, right? Buggy must be able to bring him and his men to victory, right? Buggy can take on some marines…right…?

Buggy watches in horror as a fleet of marines attack his battle ships, sinking them, as they gradually begin to encircle the entire island. Oh, they’re doomed. His men are still yelling at him, asking him questions that he can barely process at the moment because he can’t breathe let alone talk.

“Chairman Buggy, what are your orders, sir?!”

”Chairman Buggy, the marines just sank another one of our ships.”

“Captain Buggy, why are you just standing there?!”

“Chairman Buggy, do something!!”

“Captain!!!”

Buggy’s…Buggy’s got to go, like, right now. He can’t handle this. He doesn’t know what to do, this attack happened so fast… He swears the world government abolished the warlord system just this morning, and they already have marines on their ass. He needs off this island before it burns down and he turns to ash with it. He hopes and prays that he still has at least one good ship that he can escape on, and as for his men…

God, Buggy can’t do this. He can’t do this. The amount of men he controls has grown considerably after the war, and he can’t’ confidently say he can evacuate everyone on the island, not that he thinks anyone wants to leave in the first place. His kids are all dedicated and always willing to fight…(Buggy wishes he can say the same.)

Screw it, he’s calling for that evacuation order.

“Chairman Buggy, someone’s attacking the marines!” Someone’s attacking the marines…? Did Buggy have men out at sea that are now returning home and diligently attacking the marines now that they see the island is under attack? Does he have any allies who were conveniently on their way to visit, when they noticed the marines were attacking them? Is this just another group of pirates who noticed the marines and wanted to make a name for themselves, so they decided to attack them while they just so happened to be attacking Emptee Bluffs Island? Who are the heroes saving Buggy and his children?!

“Hey! It’s Crocodile!”

“Chairman Buggy, Crocodile is here to save us!!”

As soon as Buggy hears that name, his stomach drops. No, why? Why now? Why is this all happening to him now? There’s only one reason why Crocodile would be coming to Emptee Bluffs island, and Buggy…Buggy needs to leave. Forget his men, they’ll be fine, Buggy’s the one whose life is in grave danger. In all honesty, he’d rather be facing the Marines than have to deal with Crocodile’s wrath.

Buggy leaves the tent where he makes all his official announcements to his men, and his men watch him, confused, as he tries to make his escape. Some of them even mindlessly try to follow him, and Buggy doesn’t have the heart to tell the men following him to leave him alone because they’ll just bring unneeded attention to Buggy while he tries to flee. He makes it two, no, three steps out of the tent before he sees him, heading his way. “AHHH!” Buggy screams at the top of his lungs, instantly, spinning back around on his heels and trying to push through a crowd of men, “Let me through! Let me through!!!” He orders them, trying to get back inside his tent and hide.

“Chairman…What’s wrong…it’s just Crocodile?”

It is not just Crocodile. Do his men not realize how scary this man is? Do they not realize that their beloved Chairman and Captain is moments away from getting his ass beaten? Buggy forces himself through all the bodies in front of him and rushes back into the tent, but it’s too late.

“Running away, Buggy?” He hears a deep, intimidating voice call out from behind him. Ah, so it looks like this is the end of the road for Buggy, huh…? What does he do now, he doesn’t think he can out run Crocodile…

Beg for mercy?

Buggy slowly turns around, waving nervously at Crocodile, “Uh, hey!” He greets him, voice already shaking as he speaks. He’s going to scream, cry, and vomit, and all in that order. “I wasn’t running away… I was just, uh…” he trails off, unsure of what excuse he could possibly use in this situation because Crocodile saw him make a run for it with his own eyes. He notices belatedly that Crocodile has that other tall, slightly less intimidating but still extremely scary, fellow with him…Daz…? They all escaped prison together, didn’t they? And…There’s also…Mihawk? Why is Mihawk with him?

Crocodile’s cold voice brings Buggy crashing back down to reality, “Whatever. Where’s my money, clown?” Where’s his money…right…Right…the money that Buggy borrowed after the war, and most definitely has right now… That money…

(He’s lucky if he even has money for lunch.)

Buggy forces a bright smile onto his face, “Y-your money?!” he repeats, trying to buy himself some more time while he figures out an excuse that’ll save his ass. “Well.. You see.. about that…” he’s just about to start babbling bullshit when Crocodile narrows his eyes at him, giving him the nastiest look. Oh! Okay! “Crocodile, please.” Buggy whines, “Look around, I have so many kids to feed…and… and It’s not exactly like business has been booming…and, and…I just lost my biggest money makers…and…”

Buggy’s never been one to admit his failures, but this is a matter of life or death, and truth be told, Buggy’s delivery service hasn’t been doing too hot lately, but he just needs a little bit more time! He… He can fix everything, and get Crocodile his money back. “Please, just...Give me a month…” He begs, and Crocodile gives him that look again. Oh, okay! That’s obviously way too much time! “Three weeks, give me three weeks and I’ll have all your money… plus interest…”

Truth be told there’s no way in hell he’d ever be able to repay Crocodile the amount of money he owes him in that amount of time, and he sure wouldn’t be able to pay him interest on top of everything, but he… he just needs an excuse. If Crocodile believes him, then… Then as soon as he gets the chance, he’ll pack up and leave. He’ll dye his hair and change his name, and…

Crocodile scowls at him, “You’re saying you don’t have my money?” Well, no…but, yes… but, no he’s definitely not saying anything like that…what… what he is saying is that he’s broke right now, and just needs a little bit more time… “That’s fine.” Crocodile tells him, despite still having a terrifying look on his face, and there’s a moment where Buggy’s filled with hope. Is...is his life saved? “I can just sell you.” Crocodile says the words, ‘I can just sell you.’ nonchalantly, and like Buggy isn't human, like…like he’s nothing more but an object, and like his life has no meaning to it. God, what did Buggy get himself into?

“Hey…Hey…Croccy, baby…Hey!” Buggy raises his hands up. Is it hot in here? Is Buggy the only one sweating right now? “We’re friends…remember? We escaped Impel down together remember?!” he stammers, trying to remind Crocodile of all the good times they shared together like….when they… well, uh, there was that one time where they… and then there was that other time when they… Oof.

Buggy is the one using his powers to make himself look ten times bigger than he should actually be right now, but for some reason, he still feels so small especially as he picks up the not so subtle shifts in Crocodile’s expression. He goes from slightly irked, to fully annoyed, to looking like he’s moments away from ripping Buggy to shreds. “Oh, I remember, but I need my money now. I’m starting a new company and I need that money, clown.” Crocodile announces, and Buggy’s not sure how much longer he has before Crocodile snaps and beats him within an inch of his life. “If you can’t pay me back now, you need to make up for the money you’ve borrowed in other ways. Understand?”

Buggy swallows hard. God, what now? What does he say now? He considers making a run for it again, when all of a sudden an idea forms in his gigantic brain, “Oh!” He exclaims, “I know! I know! I can be your errand boy, or something,” he suggests, “I can work off my debt to you!” Crocodile’s cold, harden expression remains on his face, until Buggy casually stammers out:

“I…I have men who can give your new company the flashiest debut possible! My men can do it all: printing, design, advertisement, you name it…Just please don’t kill me!”

…

Somehow Buggy survives his encounter with both The Marines and Crocodile…Don’t ask him how, he’s always had the stupidest of luck. It doesn’t matter though, as soon as Buggy gets the okay from Crocodile, he’s looking for the best choice among all his men to design a flyer for their, well, Crocodile and Mihawk’s new company; Cross guild, hm, it’s got sort of a ring to it.

Buggy finds a few of his men and orders them to design and distribute a flyer for Cross Guild, and tells them to make it look flashy…because if it’s not, Buggy can kiss his life and or freedom goodbye.

Okay, that should keep Crocodile off his ass for a couple of days, right…? It’ll take his men a few days to design a breath taking flyer and then distribute it, and then Crocodile will see that Buggy’s actually a really useful guy after all!

That’s how Buggy thought things would go at least.

Buggy’s most devoted followers make a flyer for Cross Guild in a day and a half, taking pride in the fact that they didn’t stop for a break even once during the process, and the results are: Terrifying. As soon as he sees the poster, Buggy knows that he’s doomed and that what little chance he had at surviving and living a somewhat decent life was gone. It’s not like the flyer is poorly designed…it’s just… Buggy’s face is sort of… for lack of better terms... his men made it so that Buggy was in the center of attention while the other two look like an after thought, and that’s…that’s not what he wanted.

Buggy’s just an errand boy!

As soon as he sees Cross Guild’s debut flyer, Buggy feels violently ill again, like he’s going to throw up his breakfast, and he quickly orders his men to redesign the flyer so that Buggy doesn’t get killed, but they...

“Oh, we already distributed it.”

Okay, don’t panic. Don’t panic, maybe there’s time to fix this..or at least run away before Crocodile and Mihawk see the flyer. Buggy exhales a shaky breath, trying to figure out what he’s going to do about this whole flyer situation. Is...is there any way to just…just, make all the flyers go away? No? It doesn’t work like that?

Fuck.

[Next Part]

#one piece #cross guild #asks #my writing #i aint tagging shit #cw: crocodile #LMAO #Also ily pookie this whole series will be on tumblr for you #and if nobody likes it but us at least we have each other #changes

81 notes · View notes

ronanceisintheair · 1 year

Note

I sent that ask about the Ronance/Steddie parallels in good faith bc I actually ship both. But now met with such incredible hostility on the topic, I'm curious. Why would you prefer heaps of character deaths over a Steddie endgame? What about it is so off-putting that you'd rather see good characters die? It can't be just the fact that it's an mlm ship, or at least I hope that's not your reasoning. So what about it angers you so?

(you might call me a bitch for answering truthfully, but I'm just going to be real. And you might call me a bitch for preferring a full on all character death than st*ddie but yea, maybe so what. Some things just need to be fanon. I can be cool with st*ddie shippers as I am actually cool with some of them. But you're on anon trying to put me on trial because I don't ship them? Like get over it... truthfully. )

Anyway, you shipping both does not mean I ship both, so using the reasoning of "in good faith" is subjective. (And this got long winded...so sorry I guess?)

As a ronance blogger and enjoyer who is tired of st*ddie infiltrating our tags and little nooks of fandom, what you think is in good faith was actually not.(I didn't receive it well so you play it off like it was in good faith-also is the eneregy that is being given).

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say you're new here to my blog and that's fine. That's okay.

But the ruse of it being in good faith reads almost satirical...if only. I'm talking about and was talking about Ronance in my posts so why would you bring up st*ddie anyways to me unprovoked?

I do not ship both I do not have to ship both.(also trying to pull the reverse card on the *just because it's mlm* is not a thing. Mlm media and ships are received so well, and when yall find someone who doesn't like or care for a ship yall expect a whole analysis and thesis why. Well no its not simply because it's mlm-but if it was why couldn't it be? Genuinely? Why do people expect sapphic women to consume mlm content that doesn't relate to them or tell their story but don't put the same energy for gay men?)

it's because st*ddie has been shoveled down my throat too much. Infiltrated every part of st fandom because people don't know how to tag things, don't know how to separate keep it within its own bubble.

Not all, but alot of the fandom are women hating; specifically Nancy and Chrissy hating. And if you believe fandom doesn't influence the way you view media/ships/or anything in general that would be deluded to say. Fan base definitely has a hand in how people receive things at a certain point.

Also as much as I hate this statement it's true here, i saw absolutely nothing between St*ve and E*die interactions beyond two people on forced proximity interacting. So no its not simply because it's mlm. It's because the pair did nothing for me. And didn't give me an *oh* moment.

You shipping both doesn't make you mightier then me just like me shipping only ronance doesn't make me better than you. I'm not sitting here asking you why you ship st*ddie so why must people who only ship Ronance always qualify themselves??

#im not going to tag it as anything because its all under the cut ig #but yea...#you in my inbox asking me why i dont like a ship that i didnt bring up but YOU brought up is weirdt #then getting upset is also weirdt

16 notes · View notes

nalyra-dreaming · 1 year

Note

Hi, to the previous anon who was talking about Loumand shippers and how shocked they will be when season 2 comes around: how about we let show fans experience the story at their own pace just like book readers did.

The story is structured that way on purpose (but mostly because Annie decided to retcon a lot of IWTV when she wrote TVL nine years later).

It makes sense to ship Loumand given where the show is at currently. When revelations happen next season, fans will probably readjust their takes, but all in due time.

What you are doing is akin to me going up to someone watching season 1 of Game of Thrones and being like, hey by the way, all the Starks die so you shouldn't root for them, oh, and Sansa's new crush Joffrey turns out to be an evil prick and he also dies, poisoned at his own wedding and Jon snow is a Targaryen.

Why??

I understand that the books have been out for decades and spoiler warnings are no longer in order, but why don't we just let new fans experience the story the way it was meant to be experienced, without jumping in to rain on their parade and hounding them about how their opinions on certain characters are wrong based on what happens in later books.

Sorry for the long rant mod, but I'm so tired of these silly shipping wars that people keep trying to start over nothing.

Ranting is fine, but I have had anons on this blog, yelling at me about Loumand... and this blog is clearly labeled as based on the books, my personal one, and not spoiler free.

Do not get me wrong, I get your point but...

That anon coming here and theorizing about how shocked the Loumand shippers will be... is not that.

They are not out there souring the experience for the shippers that think that. They are not out there, trying to convert them. They sent an anon ask to MY blog, which is labeled as pointed out above in my bio.

If someone comes to my blog and asks me things I will not lie to them just because the show has not laid out all the cards yet. I have had asks of Loumand shippers (polite, inquisitive asks) and I gently explained what they asked about, and if I notice they know not even the basics? I try to not spoil too much. Just had one of those earlier. But will I twist the story to their (at this point of course flawed) expectations? No.

All the first time watchers can experience the show as they want - but going to a book-based watcher, and in a way demanding that they pay into the tale that is spoon fed? That's something else.

When I was watching GoT (since you brought this up), I watched the first season, and then, in the hiatus, got the books. When I got to the red wedding I literally threw that book into a corner and told my partner I am pissed, I couldn't tell them why, and told them not to ask.

And they didn't.

Because they knew that asking me would spoil them. They also knew by my reaction that there was shit incoming :)

My blog is not spoiler free. It's in my bio.

It's not me going to them.

It's them coming to me.

Big, big difference.

You can mute me, block the tags, block me if you need to.

But I will not take blame for someone getting spoilered on 40 year old book content on my blog when I clearly point it out in my bio.

#Anonymous #asks #amc iwtv #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire amc #iwtv amc #iwtv 2022 #interview with the vampire #ask nalyra

14 notes · View notes

galvanizedfriend · 2 years

Note

What makes you think Klaus and Caroline are soulmates? At least one thing that makes you look at them and say… “yess,this is the ship!”

Soulmates is a big word, anon. 🤣 I wouldn't go as far as to say that, I don't think that's a thing in the TVDu. I personally don't see any of them as soulmates. Love soulmates Aus, but thats not something I consider in terms of canon. But I still think they're the ship!

I think they bring out the best in each other. Literally, and in a very honest, non-romanticized way. People around Klaus either treats him like he's the beast of the apocalypse or like he's a manchild who needs to be handled with care, poor him. Caroline is one of very few people around him (Marcel being the other one, maybe) who seems to get that he's neither. She's extremely honest with him, holds him accountable for his BS, doesn't just excuse his behavior because his father was a monster, or his mother didn't love him, or he has too much man-pain to act rationally. And I think in doing so, she genuinely gets Klaus to act in a more conscious way. Which is not the same as thinking deep down he's a good person, or expecting him to change. It's just genuinely making him more aware of consequences.

It's why the only times he's ever genuinely merciful, forgiving and even selfless, it's for Caroline's sake (and Hope's, but that's kind of basic). When he lets Tyler go (all the 100 million times, even after he shows up in Nola ready to kill Hayley and the baby), when he regrets ("regrets") the way he impulsively murdered Carol, when he jeopardizes his plans to save her while he was in Tyler's body, when he helps Stefan at great personal risk. He's also weirdly respectful of Caroline's decisions in ways no one else is. The ball is constantly in her court, he never pushes further than she's willing to give, waits for her to make every move. For someone like Klaus, as impulsive, controlling and obsessive as him, that's a lot. No one else on that show is ever interested in what Caroline wants, what she needs. Not her friends, or her boyfriends.

And what I think Klaus does for Caroline, is that he brings forward sides of her we had never seen before. He gives Caroline a kind of agency she didn't have in her previous relationships, where she basically just molded herself to her boyfriends' needs (which happens again with Stefan to an extreme length). While everyone rolls their eyes at her and goes 'Oh, Caroline…', never truly taking her seriously, Klaus sees how strong and loyal she is, how capable, how smart. He admires how incredible she is as a vampire, how completely comfortable in her skin she is, while everyone around her is plagued by this stupid self-loathing that makes her feel as though she should be ashamed of being a vampire just because everyone else is. The fact Stefan becomes a human and seh stays a vampire when they marry is just ridiculous tbh. I think Klaus brings forth certain aspects of Caroline's aspects - someone who longs to see the world, who wants more than just a small life in Mystic Falls, who seeks adventure and wants to explore every aspect of her immortality, which I think that Silas moment really spells out - that were just READY to be explored on the show, if only they hadn't decided to push for that stupid relationship with Stefan that sent all of her development down the drain.

And he's just so soft for Caroline it's impossible to resist. He makes no mystery about how he just puts her first, how much he relishes every ounce of attention he gets from her, how he chases her like he didn't chase anyone else. He asks her out on a date, for God's sake. lol I mean, more than once, technically.

So, basically, Klaus valued her in ways no one else did because he genuinely appreciated her exactly as she was, while Caroline's unflinching honesty made Klaus more self-aware and conscientious. Caroline sees the very worst of Klaus, but she also gets to see the very best.

As a viewer, I loved Klaroline right from the start because I liked Caroline and thought she was very unfairly judged by the rest of the characters on the show, so when someone showed up who seemed to see her exactly as I did, I was ready to jump in. There's a lot of denial there, a lit hypocrisy too, but that all gets slowly unraveled, and it adds to how complex their dynamic is, which is something I personally enjoy a lot. It's not just 'and they fell in love because yes, the end' which we get to see repeated over and over on the show, when we're told two characters like each other, but there's really nothing there to back that up. Their chemistry is instantaneous, but it's not just that. There's so much to be explored, and I think the show was very clearly building up to something great (the slow burn was really well done there).

IN CONCLUSION. I love them because they are perfect and no other ship in the TVDu compares. Sorry, I make the rules. Thanks for coming to my ted talk. 🤣

#yokan answers #klaroline my beloved #nonnie asked me for ONE thing #me: 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️#sorry nonnie

47 notes · View notes

gralunaisland · 2 years

Note

Hey, I'm @xanvasofxords! Glad to be talking to you for the first time, until now I only ever saw your posts but never interacted much. But holy shit you speak so true--

Anyways, you know, I don't ship Gray with anyone. Because there's simply nobody I find is a suitable love interest for him in the series. I don't ship Graylu, just as that anon, but I passionately hate Gruvia. Why? Because it's result of a serious character assassination of two characters at once. One of them *cough* Gray *cough* used to be my favorite once before Gruvia brainrot took over Mashima. Sadly, now I don't care about him.

That said, I can't completely ignore his butchered character every time he's onscreen. So I just wanted to elaborate my own thoughts on the topic about Lucy and Erza being Gray's type :

Gray has carried the guilt of being the reason of his master and her daughter's despair. It's pretty normal for him to resist people who express their love towards him. It has to be done slowly, eventually breaking the invisible wall he surrounds himself with. With friendship. There's no other way than friendship.

The friends Gray grew up with mean his world. Why wouldn't they, they've been there since he joined the guild. They've been sharing happiness and sorrows together. Especially team Natsu members are a crucial part of his life. They helped him overcome his past with Ur and Deliora. He needs a person who values the relationships just as much as him if not more.

Gray is mature, but he can be pretty childish too. I think he needs someome to match his energy. She has to keep him in check while also being one with his fun-loving nature at times.

Gray is quite hesitant in terms of being affectionate in public it seems. He needs someone to respect that boundary for him and wait until he's ready. Someone who won't embarass him.

Gray needs someone who isn't dependant on him. Someone who can take care of herself even when he's not present.

I don't think Juvia has even one of these unfortunately. She's completely dependant on him emotionally, will literally drown a town with rain if need be. Doesn't respect Gray's boundaries and embarasses him publicly and even in front of thousand people in a arena. Her only gag is love and love rivals and love rival sensor. She doesn't match his energy except stripping alongside him and picking his clothes. She tries to compare herself with his friends all the time. Can't bear to think about him being alone with anybody, let alone Lucy. She wants him to choose her over everybody. She forces herself onto him with no regards of his discomfort.

I had a conversation with a friend of mine about this who follows you. So here is a piece of my mind! I'd message you off-anon but tumblr would reveal my main blog so sorry for the anon!

Hi, @xanvasofxords! Nice to meet you! I've seen some of your awesome posts around in the anti-tags, and I agree with a lot of what you say! You've got a very refreshing take on certain aspects of FT, so I am delighted that you're stopping by!

Onto your thoughts:

I totally understand where you're coming from, how you don't ship Gray with anyone. In all honesty, as an Anon has sent in an ask before, I would be totally fine if Mashima didn't make any ships canon and kept the focus on friendship and familial love. I think the show had its best moments when it stayed on course with the moral of the story. Not every friendship has to boil down to romantic love, and it's very refreshing to see powerful yet platonic love between friends. I personally think Gray staying by himself would be just as healthy as him being with Lucy, but that's just me, so please do keep doing you in regard to your ships haha.

Oh man, I so agree with you here though, that gr///via simultaneously destroys 2 characters' characters (ha) at once. juvia had all the potential to be a really cool, relatable heroine, who overcame feelings of loneliness and low self-worth with the help of her friends. Gray had the potential to finally put himself first for a change and value his own life so he could live for his friends and for himself and not just throw his life away for them.

But nope.

With the introduction of gr///via, juvia loses all individuality and self-agency. she finds no worth in herself, only in following and slobbering over Gray. she loses all relatability when she begins to act selfishly and creepily and obsessively as soon as someone shows her an ounce of human decency. she doesn't even care about friends, no matter what the once-in-a-blue-moon "i love friends" moments will try to have you think, and she would abandon any semblance of friends at the drop of a hat if it meant she could be with Gray.

With the introduction of gr///via, Gray now is shackled to a woman who doesn't actually love him but wants to possess him, and he's now manipulated into only living for her (not himself nor his friends) and only wanting her to be happy (disregarding himself entirely). There's being selfless, and then there's completely losing your sense of self. You can't help others by neglecting yourself completely, you know. juvia doesn't care that Gray's devolved into this; she just wanted him in her clutches, so she's happy Gray's joined her in her sick, manic, twisted version of love.

Yeah, you put it perfectly: it's a "serious character assassination of two characters at once". Neither of them is the best they could be, and they're no longer recognizable to whom they once were.

I don't blame you for not caring about the current 100yq Gray anymore; for me, I still hold true to the old Gray, the real Gray. The current Gray is definitely not the one we knew and loved.

Onto what you say next, wow.

Just wow.

I'm blown away by your thoughtfulness; you've parsed everything so wonderfully!

I agree with you 100% about your analysis of Gray and how romance would go with him. Wow, you make such good points; I'll give a few thoughts, but I really don't need to, because you've hit the nails on the head, my friend.

There's definitely no way to romance with him outside of friendship. That's the only way he's gotten close to people before, so it wouldn't make sense for him to fall in love with someone he was never friends with. He most definitely was never friends with juvia, considering friendship was never on the table with her, only romantic partners. she doesn't care about what he wants; she just wanted to date him, to own him. That's definitely not friendship. And friends were his whole life, so it makes even less sense that a woman who hates his closest, dearest, female friends just because they're women would become the object of his affection.

As for the rest of the characteristics, all of which I agree with, juvia absolutely doesn't fulfill any of those requirements. she in fact demolishes them by being the exact opposite of what Gray needs in a healthy relationship. I'm not going to reiterate it because you made such a perfect conclusion yourself, but I will say that my gosh, I don't understand how people could like juvia and this pairing when juvia doesn't even exist. she's not her own person; she has no personality or goals or motivations outside of Gray. The only things left to her are her jealousy, her selfishness, and her obsessiveness. Otherwise, she gives Gray nothing, and she herself is nothing, which you can see clearly if you take Gray out of the equation. (I talk more about this in this old post of mine).

I'm happy that we got connected through a follower of mine and a friend of yours! The Anti community is still strong! And don't worry about the anonymous thing, it really doesn't matter to me whether someone uses it or not! Anyway, thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts! This was such a meticulously written ask, I am very impressed!

#im very happy to get more in touch with the anti community #and wow there are some really smart ones out there haha #though all of you are smart to me already!#askgraluna #ask #anti gruvia #anti juvia #fairy tail #anti juvia lockser #anti juvia loxar #defend gray fullbuster #gray fullbuster #fairy tail discourse #fairy tail discussion #romance in anime #gralunaessay #anti gray fullbuster x juvia lockser #anti gray x juvia

17 notes · View notes

limmastyles · 2 years

Note

Don't underestimate publicityanon!

I'm one of the first people who followed her not the same anon and this is so true. She's really funny , kind and everything she said about this hasn't changed a bit since last year , she sticks to her opinion specially when it's about Florence or what happened on set and she admits when she's wrong that's why when i was first shipping this crazy show and started to see it's so crazy, I sent her a dm and she went through a long discussion with me about it early june 2021 before yacht gate and she told me they'll be in Italy or somewhere else with a sea view and they'll show everyone the pda /vacation/kissing pictures they want and she talked publicly about Florence not standing olivia and that shit happened on set and she's certain of it but can't say much on an ask in 2021 and I think i had it saved in case it was a lie.

Oh and I shipped it at first cause i had no clue who Olivia is and I've never heard of her before 🤣

THIS

10 notes · View notes

sixstepsaway · 2 years

Note

I am so sorry someone already sent you rude comments on your fantastic meta on Ao3. I'm also having a day of being super fed up with the fandom, and it sucks cause this is supposed to be fun! And people make it such a battlezone! You may already know, especially if you were around for the 'Sexy Times with Wangxian' ordeal, but there is a way to use site skins on Ao3 to block users from appearing on your page - I use it to block certain user fics, but coincidentally it does remove their comments from showing up as well (proven when I blocked that one who sent you the rude comments - the comments just disappeared <3)

Posting this so people can see how easy it is to do a block on AO3 even without it being built-in yet.

Thanks for the nice message. I was asked to post the meta to AO3 because it's an archive and because people have been getting a lot out of it and a specific nonnie was anxious about the idea of Tumblr nuking fan pages one day (which isn't an unrealistic concern, frankly). I wasn't doing it for comments or kudos or anything like that, I was doing it to archive on archiveofourown, and I dunno. It was four posts. I was going to just put everything up at once, I thought maybe that would be better, but I thought a few at a time would be better than clogging the tag with too much meta at once.

I might go in and make it chaptered, I dunno. The anon who asked said individual works seemed like a better option because then it could be referenced if someone wanted to tag it as "inspired by" more easily, and because to me it made sense because individual titles make finding specific metas much easier. I don't really want to change how I'm doing it just because someone was an ass, though.

Also, nonnie said meta is uncommon on AO3 and they don't really know why, but I bet I know now tbh.

Fandom can be so toxic, and sometimes it feels crushingly so (especially when I'm already having a rough patch with my anxiety), and other times it just feels like people don't... quite realize how fandom works?

Fandom doesn't exist because the show exists. OFMD doesn't just get allocated a specific amount of "fandom" because it passed a bar of diversity or spice or amount of episodes, it gets a fandom because people can't stop talking about it. It's the talking about OFMD that put it so high on rankings that Rhys Darby has already won an award and it was trending #1 on most popular new show for 7 weeks after it finished airing. Fandom isn't made from a piece of media, and fandom doesn't die when that media is killed, fandom is made from the conversations that spring from that thing.

Me posting a frustrating amount of meta into the Izzy Hands tag is actually a good thing, much like it's a good thing that people post their "I had a grilled cheese sandwich today and all I could think was how much Roach would love grilled cheese omg" into the OFMD or Roach OFMD tags and that people post their fanart and fanfictions and all the rest of it. Just because one person doesn't like that brand of fan content because it's 'half-baked bullshit' in their eyes doesn't make it less valid or more important. If we all stopped posting, fandom would die. Simple as that.

Also LMAO the sexytimes with wangxian ordeal. Oh yes, I was there for that. Worse still, I was actively in the CQL fandom for that!

Related to that: the CQL fandom had trolls similar to the ones that go around hating on Izzy. If anyone mentioned the ship Xiyao even in passing in their fic, the Xiyao troll would appear from nowhere to shit all over them. It was quite a time.

(proven when I blocked that one who sent you the rude comments - the comments just disappeared <3)

Anyway, thank you for the kind message. I really appreciate it. I don't think I'll ever understand people who decide their contribution to fandom should be toxicity.

(Speaking of anxiety; I have a couple of other messages in my box I still have to reply to, I just haven't found a moment to do it yet and now I have spicy anxiety simmering away under my skin for a while, I'm not ignoring anyone.)

#ask #lordess-dickery-doof

8 notes · View notes

louise-echoes · 2 years

Note

referring to an ask sent a while ago about how youre triggered by a certain ship: whos the one that literally makes fanart hating on a ship as a means to 'cope' or whatever? not me. must be someone else

Oh slly anon, if you wanted more you could've just asked. You'll be happy to know, more of it is on the way! I'm thankful for such a dedicated fan.

#ramble.lou #I dunno how to impress upon you that ridiculing my trigger has no effect #Other than exposing how desperate you are

2 notes · View notes

stomp-that-ho-regard · 2 years

Text

god fucking damn, that clip you just linked, holy shit. A little while later, Marisha is like "btw matt I barely heard your answer I was just thinkin about who dorian is crushing on" like girl YOU'RE the one that interrupted him. Travis is like "Should we just guess?" no bitch all you had to do was stfu. Who do they think they're fooling? Well they're fooling the entire fandom, apparently, who just gobbled that shit up mindlessly. "Here's how imodna can still win" babes the writing is on the fucking wall, use your brains, it's not gonna happen.

During that whole sequence there's SO MUCH uncomfortable body language, from Marisha especially. Not just the weird lunge thing, but the weird half-jog with fake energy she does to sit down. She's panicking and trying to hide it, you can tell. And you can tell Robbie is genuinely shocked, too. Matt is openly stunned.

But it's the fact that Robbie was potentially going to talk about Orym, a gay character, and tone-deaf-marisha just HAS to swoop in like "how can I kill two gay ships at once? I know, I'll just throw imogen under the bus and simultaneously kill the main mlm ship and main wlw ship for this campaign in one awkward interaction. Oh but don't forget to love each other!"

Honestly makes me fucking nauseous how blatant and corporate it is.

They probably realized how much the fandom analyzes (rightfully so) what they would say on TM and compare it (also rightfully) to what they were doing at the table. So I guess their logic now is to not unintentionally back themselves into a proverbial corner so they won’t have to own up to anything they said and can easily drop something in the future without having to address it.

But that logic falls apart when you wonder: why have a talk show at all? If you got rid of TM, why not just leave it alone?

I had no idea they had a new talk show. Since TM disappeared, I figured we wouldn��t have to deal with these out-of-game convos that may or may not have an impact on what happens in the campaign. I thought maybe (if they did see all the fandom discourse) they would’ve been smart enough to not bring back a slightly different version of this nonsense.

If they’re now so sensitive about what they’re asked, then why even bother putting yourself in a position where you’re forced to answer questions?

Now I haven’t watched any of these things. The first I’ve seen of this show is the clip that the previous anon sent me. I don’t know what Dani’s role is anymore. Is she just off to the side like she always was? Does she take part in the conversations? Since they don’t seem to have a host and pull questions out of a bowl, exactly why is her presence necessary?

I hope she’s not still picking questions for them. Her obvious bias towards certain pairings or events was most people’s main gripe about TM. With this new set-up, were the questions in that bowl ALL of the questions that were asked? Or is she still sifting through them and picking the ones SHE likes the most? If it’s the latter, then they haven’t learned shit.

What even is the point of this show?

#op #ask

5 notes · View notes

semisgroupie · 2 years

Note

hi again! anon that sent that ask about bleach (i.e. orihime, etc) here. i think it's important to note that she really wasn't strong at all at the start (she has the potential, but her disposition doesn't allow her to make use of said potential - further explanation will become a spoiler lol sorry - unless in certain situations), so while there is truth to the the damsel in distress thing (she isnt this OP character with buffs after all) it was amplified in the show especially by the studio's removal of scenes that were pivotal to showing she isn't this dumb klutz (but instead adding non-manga scenes between ichigo + rukia?? the studio personnel were their shippers istg). she does work her way up tho, doing her best haha; unfortunately, the manga author sucks at writing female characters, especially the lead/key ones (not only orihime, but she gets the worst treatment) :< not surprising tho as it was written in a time where female characters were reduced to such roles

once you get deeper into the manga, you'll most likely see how much of her characterization (in terms of development?) was wasted. i want to talk about it more lmao but i dont want to spoil your reading experience.

can you feel how much i love her? i related to her so much as a kid, like "oh shit im the weak link but gotta do what i need to to live" hAHAHA i hope im not coming off as someone forcing you to like her or anything, but i hope you see beyond the show's portrayal (which is really hard btw lmao they literally made it that way) of her character? it pains me everytime someone talks shit about her when talking about bleach (anime) & disregards the manga because "we have more people on our ship anyways" + "even the (then) studio hates her" :<

anyway who's your favorite character?? mine was chad as a kid, i think even until now in uni lolololol

have fuuuun! I'll be looking forward to your ramblings about the series, if ever you'll talk about it (no pressure, pls) on here :> stay well and safe!!

Hiya love! And yeah I think that if the anime did stick closer to including those parts instead of just pushing a rukia and ichigo ship I think there would be more love for orihime. It’s just annoying to see that so far all she seems is like an emotional klutz. And then with all the other female characters they’re just overly sexualized (Matsumoto is the main one I’ve seen sexualized like crazy)

But I can’t to talk to you more about it once I start the manga! Eee I’m so excited to start it

And you’re not forcing me to like her. From the moment I first met her I liked her, I think she’s an angel but I want to see more than just what’s being portrayed.

My favorite character is such a tough question! I love Renji Ishida Chad and Ikkaku. I can’t choose one at all 😂. Oh and I absolutely love Yoruichi she’s so badass

Oh yes I’ll definitely rant about bleach more and since my semester is ending soon there will be tons of rants and ravings

#q&a with the host 🎤#lovely anon #guest visitor 🎟#omg thank you so much for sending all this #it makes me want to read the manga that much more #i shall call you orihime lover bc she deserves love with all the slander I’ve seen

0 notes

thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 3 years

Note

Just read your paranoid Bella post (it was awesome) and what stood out to me is that in these kinds of AUs the Quiletes seem to be kinda left out. If I recall, Billie actively tried to warn Bella that Cullens are bad news and even argued w Charlie about that. How do you think a scenario with Bella who’s not interested in Edward and instead rekindles her childhood friendship w Jacob from the get go (mb befriends Leah too? and is known as ‘the kid w her own company outside of school’) could go?

The post anon is referencing.

I guess I can answer this earlier than I would normally. Sometimes it's good to shuffle the posts around!

Why No Quileute?

Many of the AUs people ask about center around either the Twilight period (something about Bella is significantly different before Twilight begins), the New Moon period (New Moon changes in such a significant manner that Eclipse never happens), or very rarely the post Breaking Dawn period (Bella's off prancing in the woods and Jake is just kind of there).

With the first two especially the circumstances make it unlikely Bella will significantly cross paths with Jake let alone discover the secret of the wolves and meet the rest of the Tribe.

What Do You Mean Bella Might Not Find Out?!

Remember, Jake was not Bella's childhood friend, that was his older sisters. When Bella stops visiting Forks Jake, only a few years younger, seemed like light years younger than Bella Swan. He was not on her radar at all and was that annoying kid brother.

Even as a teenager, Bella's clearly bothered by the age gap between them, seeing it as much larger than it really is.

In the beginning of Twilight she's pleased to see Jake, is willing to flirt with him for information, but she's not at all interested. She only seeks him out in New Moon to work on the motorcycles with him as free labor. From that, the friendship we see through the rest of the series grows.

Before that, though, Billy was more on Bella's radar than Jake ever was. And Billy in canon is Bella's slight enemy as he tries to warn her away from Edward the vampire. Well, Bella certainly knows more than him! So, there, Billy!

As for the wolves themselves, they didn't want to tell Bella, Sam had Jake cut all ties. By happenstance Jake had happened to tell Bella this story and he happens to be able to jog her memory. Had that not happened, she would have assumed he left her just as Edward did and sunk even deeper into depression.

Likely, Charlie would have sent her to live with her mother.

She would never find out the mysteries of the "bears" in the woods, would never meet all the members of the tribe, would never truly develop her deep friendship with Jacob, and she and the Quileute would simply not cross paths.

Bella and the tribe very easily could have been ships passing in the night.

Why No Quileute in Paranoid Bella AU?

Now, this is a Bella who does not want to be with Edward but she's also a paranoid, terrified, wreck. Edward is sneaking into her room every night before Bella gets to First Beach

I imagine she likely does not go to the beach, or if she does, pointedly does not ask anyone about Edward. NOPE, SHE KNOWS NOTHING. Because for all she knows, Edward is hiding somewhere in the bushes watching her.

He, after all, has dropped hints that he knows everything that happens to her.

Bella doesn't know about the treaty at this point and that Edward cannot physically go to La Push.

When Billy gives her cryptic hints, she probably gives him deer in the headlights looks and debates scribbling "SAVE ME" on a sheet of paper, but for all she knows Billy is a human and stands no chance against Edward. In that moment, Edward is right outside her house, in his car, listening to every word.

If Bella tells Billy to get her the fuck out, she might very well be condemning him to be eaten.

"AHAHAHAHAHA BILLY, I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND. SO MUCH."

When Billy sends Jake to Prom, Bella is in Edward's arms, right at that moment. Worse, unlike Billy, Jake does think this is ridiculous and is utterly mortified at interrupting her date like this.

Bella wants to cry.

"AHAHAHAHA, JAKE, I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND. SO MUCH."

Point being though, Edward doesn't tell Bella about the wolves, and she likely doesn't know about them from the beach. So to her, the Quileutes are just humans who seem to know what she knows. Edward likely never expands on this as he never has to in this universe. So he also never explains things like the treaty. This means they are just normal people who stand no better chance against Edward than she does. She can't go running to them for sanctuary, screaming, and potentially have Edward eat the entire tribe as he would have Biology class.

Just as she wouldn't put her mother or Charlie in danger, Paranoid Bella will not knowingly endanger the tribe.

Paranoid Bella Rekindles Her Friendship with Jake (and Leah Comes Along for the Ride)

Let's say Bella does go to First Beach and notes that Edward says he can't make it for whatever reason. Bella's not sure she believes this but he does seem unnaturally disappointed.

Sam drops his "The Cullens aren't welcome here" ominous line and Bella stares at him long and hard. He seems to know something, might even know the same something she knows, in the first timeline she likely decides it's not worth the risk of Edward overhearing them.

In this one though... this may be her only chance to gather information.

Sam is intimidating and scary looking (which is too bad as he's the one who could actually do something in this situation). So she resorts to her "bad flirting with Jake" plan.

Once again, it works, but this time Bella's soul dies inside.

Oh yeah, the Cullens are vampires and eat people (Bella knew it, SHE KNEW IT) but Jake thinks it's all superstitious nonsense. The only way he has heard of to kill them are noble werewolf spirit warriors from the tribe. But they have the treaty with the Cullens because they don't eat people on purpose (Bella cries inside).

No, Jake's never heard of anyone being an actual spirit warrior, don't be stupid, Bella. It's just an old legend.

Bella leaves the beach miserable.

The Quileute Tribe clearly knows but it seems like there's nothing they can do about it either.

BuT EdWArD's StIll In HeR RoOm aT NiGHt!

Bella decides it's worth the risk.

She drives to Billy's, watching for Edward tailgating her at every moment, but sees no sign of him (thank god). Luckily for her, in this early Twilight period, Edward was trying to pretend not to be a lunatic. So he wasn't running down her car yet like he was in Eclipse.

He's very unhappy she's visiting land he cannot go on but will pretend everything's fine. THIS IS FINE. SHE COULD BE EATEN BY BEARS BUT THIS IS FINE.

Bella confesses to Billy that Edward Cullen, the vampire, is sneaking into her bedroom at night to watch her sleep and she is certain he will try to eat her.

This was not what Billy had hoped or expected to hear from Bella Swan.

Those demonic motherfuckers.

Billy likely debates calling Carlisle, the head of the coven (who genuinely would be appalled by all of this), but he doesn't trust any of these people. He assumes Edward is grooming Bella to be Dracula's Bride (he is) and that this is just a thing vampires do (it's not).

But the Tribe cannot go to war with the Cullens.

They have only one wolf at this point, Sam, who is at this point still a teenager and untried in combat. He would be fighting seven vampires alone, they would be condemning him, and the tribe itself to a massacre.

However, that they haven't come after Bella yet is perhaps a good sign. The Cullens may not want to break the treaty either (Billy doesn't realize it's just Edward out there who wants to break it).

So here's what they'll do, Bella will "rekindle" her friendship with Jacob. She'll come over every single day, immediately after school with no exceptions, and will live at their house every weekend.

No exceptions.

The Cullens cannot enter Quileute land and, if they do... Well then, I guess they prepare for war.

Jake is ecstatic, though weirded out, as Bella suddenly practically lives at his house. They get along very well and soon their friendship is formed. Jake keeps trying to date her though and Bella's not very interested.

As for Leah... Sorry anon, but Leah is at the most miserable point in her miserable life. She's been dumped by Sam for her cousin and she has no idea why this has happened and Sam offers no explanations. She's a ball of rage and misery and has no time for Jacob Black's jittery girlfriend from Forks.

Meanwhile Edward is becoming annoyed.

He accepts the explanation that Bella and Jake are childhood friends, that she knew his sisters growing up, and that they've struck up their friendship again but... He doesn't like it.

He goes from imagining Mike Newton's head exploding to Jacob Black's head exploding.

Every day he curses that treaty and thinks it's so damn convenient that Bella keeps running off to the one place he can't follow.

He sits and he seethes.

...

And I stop here.

Wherever this path leads, anon, it is not one we should follow.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #twilight quileute #bella swan #jacob black #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #edward/bella #anti edward/bella #billy black #sam uley #leah clearwater #meta #headcanon #opinion

281 notes · View notes

smallblip · 3 years

Text

You asked, I deliver! Part II of Accidental baby acquisition💖 I lost one of the asks 😩 but anon who asked about baby Udo, I named the baby in your honour! Saddle up cowboys! I’m not good with sequels but here we are-

Babygate:

the scandal that implies that a certain boy band member cheated on his partner (another band member) and had a kid even when the mom was never pregnant.

- urban dictionary

—

Reiner thinks things are alright. Life is definitely picking up. Pieck still sends him excerpts of her dirty fanfiction to proofread, Bertholdt is still doing all he can to “retire at 30”, Annie might have eloped with said boyfriend. But he’s seeing Porco on the regular now, he’s really cute, he’s got a nice ass. Reiner can’t complain.

He’s also recently donated his Levi Ackerman standee. Only because it’s getting increasingly hard to reconcile the fact that he has a life sized cutout of his colleague’s boyfriend in his room.

What he can complain about is said colleague (and friend) dropping bombs on him. He’s one of the moderators of one of the bigger No Name servers. Sometimes he wonders if that’s a conflict of interest because, well, he knows the guy on a first name basis. But today he has other concerns. He sees his notifications blowing up and decides to go on the No Name server. And lo and behold. There’s a paparazzi shot of Levi and Hanji with a stroller taking a walk in a new channel called “MYSTERY FAMILY?”.

He cancels his plans with Porco. “Don’t text me for the next few hours, got a fire to fight.” He clicks send, and feels kinda bad, so he sends Porco really dank meme to appease him. (That doesn’t stop Porco from doing exactly what Reiner told him not to do and demanding an explanation every five minutes).

He forces himself to take a deep breath before texting Hanji-

“Hanji… I don’t mean to be rude but…

WHAT THE FUCK?”

—

So here begins babygate. A conspiracy theory that took the Internet by storm.

“Levi Ackerman had a secret marriage! He was keeping this from us from the start!”

“It’s a publicity stunt to keep No Name relevant during their hiatus!”

“It’s an elaborate scheme by the company to punish Levi for announcing the hiatus without their knowledge!”

“Levi’s mystery partner was sent by the lizard people to take control of his mind and produce half-lizard, half-human hybrid babies to take over the world! What a bitch!” (This is Hanji’s favourite).

And the internet’s favourite- this is all an elaborate scheme to cover up the scandalous love affair between Levi and Eren- the band’s guitarist.

“What the fuck?” Levi had said during dinner once, to which Reiner had to swallow his food and pretend he never read or actively looked up ereri content. Yes. Reiner knows the name of their ship.

Levi hadn’t been too worried before, but when pictures of them shopping for baby stuff leaked online, something snaps. Something snaps and Erwin tells him he needs more time to figure out the biggest PR crisis in No Name history.

It’s Levi. Levi is the PR crisis.

So in the meantime, no shock reveals, no more social media, (if possible) no more leaving the house with pregnant girlfriend in tow. “Don’t do ANYTHING.” Erwin had said, “especially not you!” Erwin had directed that at Eren, who suggested he makes an announcement. Erwin shudders. He remembers all the past scandals they got themselves into just because Eren, bless him, didn’t know when to shut up.

“I’m sorry…” Levi says to Hanji when they’re cuddled up on the couch watching a documentary on whale migration.

“Huh?” Hanji says, voice muffled through her incessant sniffling because “whales are delivered tail first, Levi! They wear their mothers like hats!”

He apologises for putting her through the mess that is him and his job. And Hanji smiles at him. He wonders if their kid will look like her. He’s hoping they would.

“Levi…” Hanji sighs, taking his face in her hands, “that night at the bar I thought to myself ‘this man has a face I would risk it all for’… I think this counts within the realms of ‘all’”

Levi scoffs, but a smile is threatening the corners of his lips. Erwin’s nagging over the phone fades a little and he sinks a little lower into the couch. He sighs one more time for good measure before saying-

“So… you wanna know which my favourite babygate theory is?”

—

“And you’re really not bothered by all this?” Reiner asks, in an emergency meeting that he had scheduled into her calendar. He hates that he’s packing things into her already busy schedule when she’s about to pop but, he figures it’s better now than when the baby’s actually out. He had booked a meeting room and everything, figuring if he projected some of the crazy shit they’re saying on the fan boards up on screen, Hanji would start taking this seriously. Because if Reiner knows anything, it’s that the fans will do anything to keep their ship afloat.

He scrolls past another post on the lizard people and Hanji gets him to pause.

“I mean… A little?” Hanji pinches her fingers together.

“Hanji…” Reiner sighs, “you and Levi discuss and rate babygate conspiracy theories you find online I don’t think you’re taking this seriously at all…”

Hanji looks at Reiner- an absolute state of panic. And she considers panicking for a moment. She’s read articles dissecting babygate and although they’re absolutely batshit, Hanji appreciates how well-researched they are. Which is a little scary. To be fair to Levi, he’s been trying to get her to worry. “I can’t keep you safe all the time, you have to be careful” like he’s going off to war somewhere. But it’s not in Hanji nature to worry about things like this. She’s a researcher at a lab who lived an ordinary life up until the point the universe hit her with a-

Sike! Levi Ackerman is your baby daddy! What are you gonna do about it?

And now she knows what headcanons and lemons are, and she really doesn’t know what to do with that knowledge. So Hanji decides, she’ll do nothing. She’ll go on indulgently long walks Levi in tow, she’ll talk his ear off about work. And like a good girlfriend, she’ll listen to his demos (and enjoy them) and tell him “are you sure anger rhymes with danger?”.

“I don’t really know how to worry about anything beyond our samples getting contaminated…” Hanji says, sheepish. Reiner sighs. He doesn’t want to be a wet blanket on Hanji’s life. He wants to be fun Reiner. Cool as a cucumber. Reiner who manages to make it through dinner at Hanji’s without having to excuse himself to hyperventilate in her bathroom because Levi is right there. And he’s so afraid that he might just be able to read his mind and find out he had looked up Levi Ackerman x y/n fanfiction once in his foolish youth (youth being approximately four months back)

Reiner shudders.

“Yeah okay… That’s um… That’s cool… Right?” He says.

Hanji shrugs.

—

So Levi Ackerman is your baby daddy. Now what?

You go into labour of course, with a matter of fact- “oh. Look Levi. The water broke.” All while refusing to leave the house until you demolish that amazing sandwich he made for you. You go into labour and you yell and grunt like a beast as you squeeze the life out of your baby daddy because he kinda deserves it. You both kinda deserve this pain. Take it as heavenly punishment for being horny and stupid if you will.

And in the middle of it Hanji thinks huh, this feels like a mix of a reality TV show from MTV and a badly written fanfiction. Except Hanji isn’t a teen mom and she’s too old for self-insert fiction that involves a lead singer of a popular band.

But Levi is here, and he doesn’t complain one bit even though he looks like he’s about to pass out. So as far as drunken one night stands go- this is pretty damn aspirational.

The baby enters the world with a huge cry.

“Kid’s got a huge set of lungs…” Levi says, but his own voice is quivering.

“Just like her dad…” Hanji smiles.

As he watches Hanji fall asleep with their baby on her chest, Levi thinks fuck it. Fuck keeping this under wraps. Fuck the fans and them enjoying how Eren gets on his nerves. Fuck Erwin and his “Levi. You’re giving me a headache. You are the cause of this headache.” Because the baby has Hanji’s nose and his eyes and he loves them more than anything in the world.

He snaps a picture of them and tags bigdaddyzoë-

“Welcome to the world, my love.”

—

Reiner can’t help the tears that well in his eyes after seeing the picture Hanji had sent him of the baby-

“He says hi to his favourite uncle!” Was the caption, and Reiner could only reply with a crying cat meme and an incoherent text that Hanji favourites.

He’s on the bus on the way to the hospital when his phone buzzes incessantly. It’s Porco.

“REINER WHAT THE FUCK.”

“LEVI ACKERMAN IS HANJI ZOË’S BABY DADDY?”

“HANJI ZOË MY PHD SUPERVISOR?”

“LEVI ACKERMAN OF NO NAME?”

“REINER WHAT THE FUCK?”

He sends a reply at the entrance of the hospital-

“Welcome to my world”

—

Reiner thinks things are alright. He’s one of the moderator of one of the bigger No Name servers, so he can block and remove people at his discretion. Some days he lets it get to his head. It makes him feel like a king. But today, he’s putting out fires.

Erwin decided their PR strategy was absolutely no strategy, because “they’re zooming in on the pixels Levi. Once they doubt the pixels, they won’t believe anything we’re saying”. With that. Babygate has officially taken on a life of its own. Eren still sends Levi babygate articles to annoy him, and to Hanji because she asked very nicely. Hanji thinks Erwin’s strategy makes sense, Levi thinks it’s just lazy. But Erwin framed a certificate that says “survived a PR crisis (sort of)” that Hanji had insisted be hung up on their wall, so that closes one chapter. Besides, Eren has been spotted going out on dates with a mystery girl. Which has the double effect of diverting attention away from Levi and exacerbating babygate because “see? Told you the company’s doing all they can to prove they’re not together!”

“Can’t you keep it in your pants?” Levi had thrown at Eren, to which he had responded cleverly with a-

“Could’ve said the same for you!”

Touché…

“See? That can’t be Levi! Look at how he’s smiling!”

“That can’t be a baby! Looks like an animatronic to me!”

“Do they even make animatronics that realistic?”

Reiner pins his “no slander” rule- one day they’ll get it. Or at least he would’ve gotten rid of all the people that don’t.

“Who’s this bigdaddyzoë anyway?”

“Maybe she isn’t real? Company probably invented her…”

“Heard she’s a crazy groupie who got knocked up…”

“Heard she’s hot…”

… several people are typing

—

“So… I heard from Reiner you were defending my honour in the server?” Hanji quirks an eyebrow.

Levi shrugs. Whatever goes down in the server stays between Leviackerman173810 (leviackerman and all 173809 permutations of said username had already been taken) and the hundreds of people who haven’t quite figured out he’s the real deal. Besides, Erwin has issued him three warnings so it’s best to lay low for now.

“My hero…” Hanji chuckles, pressing a kiss on Levi’s head. Below them, baby Udo wriggles and yawns against the fabric of Levi’s shirt. Cute.

So Levi Ackerman is your baby daddy. Now what? You look at your son and know he’s going to break hearts like his father of course. And if you’re Levi, you pray to god he never asks about babygate because Hanji has read up enough about it to be considered a connoisseur.

One day the internet will break when they find out the identity of bigdaddyzöe. But for now baby Udo has his parents wrapped around his tiny fingers and he doesn’t quite understand the concept of him being the spawn of every typical band member x y/n fanfiction. Or the centre of a very popular, very absurd, yet strangely believable internet conspiracy theory. Or the canon plot that has sunk one of the biggest No Name ships. And that’s okay.

#babygate was a 1D conspiracy theory #levihan #whoopwhoop!#levi x hange #levi x Hanji #Drabble #inbox #anon #mine #again Pieck is me #un beta-Ed I’m sure it’s full of mistakes #shingeki no kyojin #Levi Ackerman #hange Zoë #celebrity au

136 notes · View notes