#that scene in ​nope was the most validated I’ve ever felt in my life

[lesbianfakir]

You’re placed in a room with an animal. The door is closed and you cannot leave. The animal is completely calm and has no intent of harming you. You are in no danger unless you provoke the animal in some way.

#having a conversation about pathological fears of animal #if you put me in a room with the worlds chillest nicest chimpanzee I would be in hysteric #it’s been that way ever since age 12 #that scene in ​nope was the most validated I’ve ever felt in my life #lea off topic tag #I just want to gauge if people have specific phobias of certain animals

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

The Red Hood (Part 1)

Summary: While on a job, the reader runs into The Red Hood. She discovers his true identity to be Dean Winchester from one of the wealthiest families in the city. She knows he’s made a few enemies and tries to take advantage of that fact to get something she needs in return...

Masterlist

Pairing: Vigilante!Dean x criminal!reader

Word Count: 1,500ish

Warnings: language, fighting

A/N: Enjoy!

________

“Oh, crap,” you said, feeling the binding around your torso. You thought you’d made it out clean. But if it was someone using a gadget like that, it wasn’t any security guard. You grunted as you saw a figure emerge from the shadows, a hood up and a mask covering his eyes. “Let me walk and you can have the money.”

“Not my style,” he said. He walked over carefully, tilting his head at you. His cautious approach stopped when he suddenly stepped over and ripped the mask covering your face off. You scowled at him but he simply stared. “I’m taking you in.”

He bent down and you used the opportunity to swing your legs up and wrap around his neck. He went wide eyed and glared at you but you smirked.

“Goodnight Mr. Vigilante,” you said. He tried pulling you off but he lost consciousness quickly. You let him drop to the ground and moved your leg back, managing to grab the knife in your boot. You sliced through the lower bindings and eventually got the ropes off. You almost left when you saw the unconscious Red Hood on the ground. It wouldn’t hurt to have a little blackmail after all. You pulled out your phone and pushed down his hood, ripping off the mask over his eyes. You took a few pictures of the man, something familiar about him.

You grinned when you recognized him as the ward of the biggest tech company in the city. 

If you played your cards right, a week from now you’d be loaded and sipping mai tais on the beach, never having to worry about pulling a job ever again.

“Shit!” you shouted the next evening, jumping straight back into your counter. The Red Hood was standing silently at the edge of your kitchen, narrowing his eyes at you. He threw down a manila envelope on the counter and stalked over to you.

“I don’t negotiate with criminals,” he said.

“I don’t think it’d look too good if Dean Winchester were to be found out as The Red Hood. With all the crimes you’ve committed yourself. I bet that’d ruin a few of your family’s contracts,” you said. You reached up to grab his hood when he caught your wrist. “I felt I was very generous with my offer.”

“Fifty million is generous?” he scoffed. He shoved your wrist away and put his back to you, tugging his hood back. He slipped his eye mask down around his neck and glanced over his shoulder. “I should throw you in prison.”

“For stealing from rich people? They can afford it just like you can afford this. Take it out of your trust fund. I bet no one would even notice,” you said.

“What do you need that much money for?”

“What do you need it for? None of your business.”

“The answer is no.”

“Then I guess your photo of you out cold at a crime scene in your little costume will be on the news very, very shortly.”

“It’s an excessive amount,” he said.

“Your family is billionaires. You got the cash.”

“I can’t move that much without red flags.”

“Figure it out.”

“I could just make you disappear,” he said, stepping in front of you. “You couldn’t stop me.”

“You only murder the bad guys and unfortunately for you, I just steal things and knock people out. It’s not justified. Your old partner, that bat guy, even he didn’t kill people,” you said.

“He let me down, more than once. I do things the way they need to be done,” he said. “Don’t think because you’re a woman you get special treatment.”

“Wouldn’t expect it,” you said. “Give me my money and you will never hear from me again.”

“Five million.”

“No way.”

“Five million a month for the next ten months,” he said. “It won’t raise too many eyes. I can justify a cost for that.”

“Fifty. One payment,” you said, crossing your arms.

“What the hell do you need with that much money?”

“Maybe I want to donate to charity. It’s not your concern. You have three days to get my money into that bank account. If you don’t, you and your entire family’s business are going down. Have I made myself clear?”

“I will find all copies and when I do, you’re gonna have a big problem. Count on it.”

He went out your back door and you rolled your eyes, already making plans to have extra copies out there just in case.

Three Days Later

“You’re good,” said Marcus. You stared at him and he smiled. “You’re clean kid. Debt repaid with interest. Your family is safe again. Any interest in working for me again? You’ll get to keep some of the profits now.”

“I’m not meant for this line of work,” you said. “Lose my number?”

“You’re not as bad as you think. Just got a pesky conscious. Enjoy retirement,” he said. You hummed and quickly left, taking a deep breath. 

Half an hour later you were heading to the airport with five million dollars in your bank account and ready to go start over.

Two Days Later

“Nice view,” said a voice behind you. You sat up from your chair by the pool, staring up at Dean as he smiled. “Nice house. A little smaller than I was expecting for fifty million dollars in the bank. If you had fifty million that was. More like five now, hm?”

“I still have copies,” you said as he sat in the chair beside you.

“Oh, I know,” he said, stealing your drink. “Whoa, fruity and a lot of rum.”

“What do you want?”

“My plan was to hunt you down and get my money back and get you to give up the copies and get you thrown in prison. But I’ve had a change of heart.”

“Really. Just like that.”

“If you told me innocent lives were in danger, I could have been a lot nicer. Marcus is an unforgiving criminal. But even he could let a mistake go for forty five million, right?”

“I owed him ten. The thirty five was interest. I screwed up a job when I wouldn’t kill a guard. He lost the pay. I started working for him most every night to pay it off. If I didn’t, he’d deal with my family over on the other coast. He’s connected enough to have them watched. For forty five million, they are safe.”

“Sounds like you owe me five million dollars,” he said, holding out his hand. “Fork it over.”

“I can’t live there anymore. I need to be out of that city,” you said.

“You’ll come back eventually. But you owe me five million dollars,” he said. You dropped your head and sighed, resting your head in your hands. “Or you can give me every single copy of the photos and agree to never steal another thing in your life and in exchange, I will pretend you didn’t take five million for yourself.”

“Are you serious?” you said, snapping your head up. He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes behind his sunglasses. “Why would you do that?”

“Why didn’t you tell Marcus who I was? That would have cleared whatever you owed and then some,” he said. You shrugged and he smiled. “I have a sneaking suspicion you’re a good person. Don’t worry, I won’t tell the other criminals.”

You reached to your left and grabbed your phone, deleting the picture and then permanently deleting it again.

“You never had copies,” he said.

“Nope. You could have taken my phone and that would have been that.”

“Then I guess that settles that,” he said. “Nice place to retire to.”

“Yup,” you said.

“Mind if I crash here? Considering I bought this place and all.”

“Why are you staying here?”

“I did something yesterday. My old partner called me up, told me I ought to take a break for a bit. He had some valid points,” he said. “No one’s ever knocked me out before.”

“I have many skills,” you said. He chuckled and stretched out his body.

“I bet you do. So am I staying?”

“You can stay if you get me a refill,” you said, taking the glass from him and drinking the rest of the liquid. You held it out to him and he sat up.

“Alright. Don’t go running off on me again.”

“I think this time I’ll stay put.”

“Glad to hear it, sweetheart.”

“For now.”

“Oh really? Where you thinking of going?”

“Home to Gotham. Eventually,” you said. He stared at you and glanced down, nodding to himself.

“How about a nice vacation in the meantime?” he asked.

“After you. Sweetheart.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 2 here!

#spn #supernatural #au #au!dean x reader #dean x reader #red hood!dean #dean winchester x reader #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: June 6th, 2021

I’m back with more ask responses! You can also check our Frequently Asked Question sheet if there’s something you’re wondering that’s not answered here.

FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

Thank you for the patience with these questions  ♡

Hey in very beginning of step 3 in the scene where Mr.Holden had a thought dancing on the tip of his tongue but he kept it to himself after MC and Cove were being cute (idk if it makes a difference but this is when they're dating)... Can we know what he was thinking/ wanted to say? It's been bugging me lol 

He would’ve gone into a “look how much you’ve grown”, “your dad is so proud of you”, “I’m so glad things worked out with the MC”, and etc spiel, haha. But he resisted the urge to fawn on his baby boy, at least for that scene.

If we planned to move away for college/future plans in step 3, is it implied that MC and Cove would have a long distance relationship for sure? Could MC have convinced Cove to come with them? How is the dynamic of their relationship going to be addressed in Step 4, if that makes sense? 

Cove is willing to follow the MC where they went after everything is settled for them there, and if they’re sure they want him to come! You’ll get to decide how things shook out during those transitional years just by making choices about it during the opening prologue of Step 4.

Hi! First off, how does it feel to have created one of the best games when it comes to inclusion for lbtq+ peeps? I've never felt as validated with my identity and sexuality when playing a game and I'm seemingly not alone ♥ Second, and this might be a little too specific, but what kinds of drinks does Cove like as well as dislike? Thank you, you're the best ♥

Thank you for very much! It’s really nice to hear the game felt inclusive. Cove likes regular water and fruit juices/smoothies most! He dislikes coffee and cola, and he’s not super into most teas either.

Hi, may i ask what gb patch stands for? Specifically the gb part lol

It stands for my old, silly username I used in places like Neopets as a kid, aha. The company name wasn’t super thought out since it was originally just me making VNs as a hobby. Luckily, “GB Patch” kind of seems like it could mean something reasonable, so I didn’t have to rebrand when it did become a more serious, commercial group.

If we chose to not propose to cove in the step 3 dlc would he propose or would the mc propose in step 4 or the wedding dlc? 

Yeah, you or Cove can propose in Step 4 if you’re not already engaged! The Wedding DLC takes place after the engagement so the proposal scenes aren’t there.

will you guys announce if the early access for the new game is out on patreon ? 

When beta builds of Step 4 or whatever start coming out on the Patreon we will mention it here on social media too.

Heyy I just had a quick question about Baxter if that’s okay :)?

I saw in an ask+answer that it’s possible to casually date Baxter In step 3, but what leads up to that? I have the step 3 dlc and I’ve tried playing them In a different orders and ways but it doesn’t seem to get anywhere ^^;

The Step 3 DLC is Cove-based because he’s the default guy. There’s a separate Baxter romance DLC that’s not out yet. That’s where you can get him to date you. I’m sorry for the confusion!

Will we ever get any LI's or side characters with physical disabilities or deformities? I think your games would be a great place to have them in since they're always so accepting and safe! 

Yeah, we do hope to have representation for that in future projects ^^. Thank you for the confidence in us.

Is it possible to get Cove to take the bed and MC to sleep on the floor? 

Not in Step 3, I’m afraid.

So, I have played the prologue of Our Life countless times and I haven't gotten the [Your Life] achievement, why is that? 

Steam sometimes isn’t connected properly when an achievement unlocks and so it remains locked on your account. If that happens, unfortunately getting the scene again won’t unlock it. The achievement becomes inaccessible because the game thinks you already have it. Playing with the same Steam account on a different device or fully deleting your game data (more than the only the save files) are the only work arounds we’ve found.

Since when you talk with Jeremy in step 3 it's mentioned he goes on dates with someone (which assume is JB because who else would take this boy on dates) that makes him happy, does that sort of make JB and Jeremy the canon relationship in the first game?

The default for XOXO Droplets is that JB casually goes on dates with each of the jerks! Shiloh would’ve been harsher if Jeremy was the only guy getting her attention, haha. But the player can change that default by dating just one person the whole game for their own story and who she ends up with for real has no default.

Hi, hello! Huge OL fan, thank you so much for the wholesome content, it was very much needed during these times. Managed to get several people to join team Cove, so that's very exciting, I always have people to fawn over him with. I have a little question and I'm sorry if it was asked before, but does it ever come up in the game what Cove has told his mom about us? (who knows, with so many options, one can miss it) Or, alternatively, will it come up in the Step 4 DLC? 

Thank you very much for sharing the game with people <3. It’s really great to hear people are liking it. Right now that doesn’t come up in game. Kyra is willing to keep her mouth shut and Cove isn’t gonna have that conversation either. At least not when he’s younger, but yes, perhaps when he’s a fully grown big boy in Step 4 you can ask him about it.

I’ve been thinking about this ever since it has been confirmed that there would be two love interests for OL2, would there be the possibility of forming a polyamorous relationship with both love interests? I’m sorry if you answered this previously, I’m just curious. 

We are considering it, but it’s not a guarantee yet. It’d be really great to have but it’d add so many extra alterations that’d need to made, aha.

Hello! You mentioned how Cove would be uncomfortable with kids at 23, but how old would he be when he’s comfortable with having/adopting kids? (Same goes for the other LI’s.) btw, love your game!! 

He’d want to be at least 25, but even older would be good. Derek would want to have kids when he and his partner could reasonably support them, the age itself wouldn’t matter. If they were doing good at 22 and wanted kids, he’d be up for it. Or they could wait until their 30s or whatever. Baxter is also more of a “when it feels right” guy rather than having a specific age requirement. Cove is just especially wary of being a young parent because of his own parents. I’m happy you like the game!

does step 4 immediately play after you press "end summer" in step 3? or is there another button/transition (like the story text thingy) before the epilogue begins? what happens after the epilogue? roll credits? 😂 

Step 4 will have transition section always and there will be an extra button, if you own the Derek or Baxter DLC. By default the Cove-based version of Step 4 just plays once Step 3 is over. However, having the other guys’ storylines will mean you get to pick which version of Step 4 plays; Cove Step 4 (the basic one), Derek Step 4, or Baxter Step 4.

Happy pride, thank you for all you do for us🥰

I have a quick question though, I recently got a MacBook after my old windows computer broke, and now steam says I cannot download it, but it has no issues with other games, what can I do to download it?? I’m sorry if my English is bad

Happy pride month! Unfortunately, Our Life isn’t available for Mac on Steam right now. To be an approval application Apple requires having special notarization and we as a small group haven’t gotten that. Itch doesn’t care and lets us release the game for Mac there anyway, Steam does care so we’re locked out of putting the Mac build up on their storefront. Feel free to email us and we can try to help the situation out further!

[email protected]

Hello! I was jus wondering if the Baxter and Derek DLCs are still happening? I haven’t heard anything about them on here or patreon in a while so I just wanted to make sure ^^

They’re still coming and we just released a new sprite sketch on the Patreon for the Derek DLC c:. But right now Step 4 is still much more of a priority. Once that’s closer to being done we’ll focus way more on sharing previews for the other guys.

is it possible to tell cove you love him (platonically) at step 3 fondness/selecting him as basically family? i just love the mc and liz sibling interactions and it got me wondering about it (especially if you've selected that option)

You and Cove can be as close as family, but there’s not a specific scene in Step 3 where you say “I love you” in a family context. But there’s always Step 4~

do you intend on ever adding a collectors mode to Our Life? Like a way to collect achievements and CGs for the gallery without it effecting any save files? 

We weren’t considering it before. But if a lot of players would find that helpful, we could start thinking on that!

Sorry if it's a silly question haha, but (in crush/love) is Cove really aware of how cute and cuddly he seems to MC? If so, what does he think or do about it? Or does he just ignore it? 

He isn’t particular aware. Cove never truly stops being surprised that the MC is interested in/attracted to him, haha.

Would you say that the alone ending of xoxo droplets is worth playing again to get? 

Nope, haha. The goal is to make friends/get a boyfriend and so the alone ending is kind of the bad ending for the game. Though there is a consolation prize if you get it by accident.

Is there any possible situation which would ever prompt Pran to bake for his girlfriend? Like I know it's unlikely I mean even if JB broke her leg somehow I'm pretty sure he'd still be like "I considered baking you a cake and doing the frosting the way I think looks interesting but you don't deserve a cake, no one does." right but also ahhh it would be super nice if some day he just surprised her with baked goods one day out of nowhere. JB would be so shocked it would be cute. So is there any possible situation where that could/would be a thing that he would do? 

He might bake out of spite, like if he felt he had to prove her wrong on something. Or if JB used some good reverse psychology on him. Or he might do it in a relatively nice way if he could make his GF so shocked by the kind gesture that his amusement with that overrode his insistence on not being sweet. Pran is very difficult in high school, aha.

Is the "one route (where) it can be seen that Everett will drop his seemingly eternal waging with Jeremy pretty easily and can start getting along without thinking much on it" the Lucas route? I'm curious! 

Yep! Everett will side with Jeremy if it’s between him and Lucas.

Hi I hope you guys are having a great day :) I just had to ask how Cliff would feel about Cove's partner/fiancé Mc calling them dad whether it be accidental or otherwise and secondly I also wanted to ask how he would feel about being asked to be the one to give the mc away at their wedding. 

He would be very touched and excited! I hope you have a good day too :D

Hello! I saw an ask relating to whether Cliff "moves on" after Cove's grown up and stuff (and he stays single), but what about Kyra? Will she be with anyone else or will she stay single? 

She does start dating again, but she takes it slow.

Hi! I absolutely love the art for characters in OL and I wonder is this fine to draw my MC in same drawing style and upload online later? Is this something artists would be okay with? Thank you! 

Yeah, you can certainly do that C:

Hey there!

I wonder if I'm just being stupid here.. Is Step 4 a DLC? And if so, where can I find it? I can't seem to find it on Steam :< Thank you!

Step 4 is a free epilogue! It’s not done yet, but once it is finished you’ll just update your game file and Step 4 will be there after Step 3 ends.

hi! are step 4 and the wedding dlc two different things?

They are. Step 4 is a free epilogue that’ll be a default part of the game once it’s done, the wedding DLC is an optional paid expansion that takes place after Step 4.

Why did Baxter not receive a step 2 sprite seeing how he shows up later

Sprites are time consuming to draw and take money out of the budget that could’ve gone to other things. His tiny appearance in Step 2 wasn’t worth all the effort to make a sprite, aha.

I just realized, what happens if if you get the patreon exclusive moment but at a later date, when you don't have the membership anymore, it's updated (like a bugs fix update for example)? Would you have to get the membership again? 

You would have to get the membership again to redownload the build. But there’s very little chance there’s going to be an update once it’s been out for over a month. If a build gets released with errors, players catch/report them within the first few days. So by the time the first subscription period ends, any problems that were noticeable would already have been fixed. And we’re certainly not gonna be adding new content to it once it’s been released for a long time. There’s no need to worry about missing out on something worthwhile in the future if you cancel your membership. It’s being made with the idea in mind that many players are gonna be getting it and then going.

Hello! Wanted to ask about gaming choice in step 3? Once upon a playthorugh I got the option to buy Cove a bracelet for his graduation present. I played the same basic character again and that option wasn't there anymore. I'm not sure where I went wrong. My Cove wears a bracelet on each hand and my MC is into fashion and jewelry. Do I need to put an earring on him or? Sorry, love your game so much. 

He also needs to have liked bracelets in Step 2 for that to be considered a good gift option for him. Sorry for the confusion! I’m happy you love the game :)

Is Step 4 being released at the same time as the Wedding DLC or will the first come before the latter? Thank you! 

I’m not sure. Ideally they’ll come out at the same time, but the wedding DLC has a lot of art to get done and we may have to release it after Step 4.

Can mc still get confession from Cove at the end of step 3 even if mc casually dates Baxter in step 3? Such as in crush mode? 

I don’t think so. Maybe that’ll change, but generally there’s differences to the Step 3 ending if you were dating Baxter and those differences likely will conflict with getting the Cove confession.

For the patreon moments/dlcs, will it be available for all tiers? 

It’ll be available for tier 2 (Fans) and up!

#our life #xoxo droplets #gb patch #ask #gb patch games #Our Life Beginnings & Always

[softyoongiionly]

Fear and Dumplings: Chapter Sixteen Point Five

Confronting your fears for a final grade sounds unappealing but, with Yoongi as your partner, things might not be so bad.

Summary: You’re in your final semester at University when your Abnormal Psychology professor assigns you a partnered project surrounding your greatest fears. Lucky for you, your partner just so happens to be a cute boy named Min Yoongi.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Underground Rapper! Yoongi, Soft!!! Yoongi, Fluff!!!, College! Yoongi, Sub! Yoongi

Word Count: 6.5k

A/N: this is nothing but pure fluff and smut because, LISTEN I NEED SOME EMOTIONAL SUPPORT FND YOONGI IN MY LIFE. I hope you do too! This chapter takes place after the ending scene of chapter 16 :)

NOTE: ALL BOLDED WORDS INDICATE WHEN CHARACTERS ARE SPEAKING KOREAN

Warnings for this Chapter: language, slight slight slight angst,  LOVE, like an excessive love, smut, mentions of a spider

Chapter Sixteen Point Five: More and More

“Yah-” You hear Yoongi call from the other room, the sound of his voice bringing a smile to your lips, “I’m getting cold.”

The latter part comes out as a whine and it broadens your smile as you sprits a bit of perfume onto your wrists.  

“I’m sorrryyyy. This is the first time I’ve been able to do my bedtime routine at your house.” You point out, giggling as zip up your toiletries bag. “I’m coming right now.”

Quickly, you pad across the bit of tile between Yoongi’s bedroom and the bathroom before rounding the corner to peek at your boyfriend.  

He’s cozied up beneath the covers, his arms tucked behind his head, brows furrowed as he focuses on the tv.  He’s drowning in the excess fabric of his hoodie and although he isn’t yet aware of your presence, he is still wearing the remnants of the smile that your laughter caused.  

“You look cute.”

Yoongi jumps, his fingers tensing against the duvet as your presence alarms him.

“Aish- you scared me.” He pouts but as soon as he gets a look at what you’re wearing, his expression shifts, “Are you wearing pants?”

Giggling, you shake your head and turn slightly, lifting up your oversized t-shirt, “Nope.” And as you respond, you show off your ass to him.

He arches a brow, a smirk playing on his lips, “Oh ok- yeah that’s a good idea you know, pants are really restricting. You’ll be a lot more comfortable...”

“Oh you think so?” Tilting your head, you slowly make your way towards the bed whilst your fingers toy with the ends of your shirt, “Should I not wear the shirt then either? You know- if were talking about comfort here, I may as well just sleep naked.”

His smirk fully develops, his eyes following your every move, “You m-might get cold but, I mean I could just like- yah! Why do you insist on saying shit that you know is going to fluster me? Get your ass in bed.” He smacks the space beside him, brown eyes widening with incredulity.

At the end of his mini out burst, your head falls back against your shoulders with the much louder bit of laughter that leaves your lips.

Yoongi laughs along with you, his heart singing at the sound of your amusement, “Now!” He pushes out the command through his laughter, yanking the duvet back and jerking his chin towards the empty space.  

Rather than tease him further, you scamper over to the bed and shimmy your way beneath the covers, immediately cuddling up into his side.

His warm and he smells like amber and the bonfire from earlier.

A hum comes from his chest as he pulls you close, kissing the top of your head.

“Thank you...be nice to me...”

His voice rumbles at the base of his throat; it shouldn’t have a taste but it lingers in the air and it suddenly makes you want to turn off all the lights and listen to him speak forever.

“I’m always nice...” You retort, peeking up at him in time to see his brow arch, “I am!”

His teeth peek out as he smiles, his arms tightening around you, “I wouldn’t necessarily say that you’re ALWAYS nice. You can be mean if you want to be.”

“Meeeaaan????? How am I mean?”  

He flops against the pillow, kitten fangs on full display, his laughter dancing above the bed.

“You know exactly how you are mean, c’mon jagi, let’s be honest with each other.”  

Pushing your fingers against his cheeks, you use his face as leverage to hoist yourself up over top of him, “Ohhhh are you talking about the edging and the pain play? The kinks my boyfriend most definitely possesses that I, being the loving girlfriend that I am, willingly fulfill?”

He blushes, “Yeah exactly...those things.”  

You smush his cheeks together again, pecking the rounded tip of his nose, “Ok fine, we don’t have to do those things anymore, I’ve actually heard celibacy has it’s benefits.”

His face wrinkles in disgust as he jerks his head up to smush his lips against yours, “You’re so fucking funny you know that? You should do stand up.” He mumbles against your lips and although it’s a bit off topic, you can actually feel the difference between you and Yoongi.

He’s different now.

You don’t sense any hesitation anymore.

He is completely vulnerable and you love it.  

The trust has increased tenfold.  

“I’ll let my advisor know.” You retort, brows raising playfully, pecking against his lips

“AIYAAAAA....” He groans, smiling brightly, “Throwback.”

You feel butterflies in your stomach as you think of all the events leading up this particular moment.  

Falling in love has been really fun.

“I still can’t believe I left your house like that, that night. I felt like such an idiot.”

You giggle, “I told Jimin about that the next day, I thought you hated me- I would have never guessed it was because I made you hard.”

He smirks, his cheeks reddening slightly, “I definitely didn’t hate you. I was just annoyed because, I was three months away from graduation and, I really wasn’t expecting to be bombarded with- you.”

“Bombarded?” You raise your brows, a smile lingering on your lips, “Is that how you remember falling in love?”

You feel his hands slide up the backs of your thighs before they settle on your hips as he shrugs, his expression unchanging, “Honestly yeah. I was very annoyed with it all for a long time. I knew I liked you but, I had already resigned to the fact that you wouldn’t like me back. I was also uninterested in getting into a relationship with anyone. Plus, I had to accept that I would have to keep seeing you because, we were paired up. To me, it just felt like another disappointment waiting to happen.”

At his admission, you pout and brush your thumb over his rosy cheek, “I’m sorry that you felt that way. I can understand why you did but, you and I definitely had different experiences...”

The slight disappointment in your tone isn’t intentional but, Yoongi’s keen observation skills pick up on it anyway. His beautiful features twitch slightly as he returns your pout, “I’m not saying that I didn’t enjoy it, I was just stubborn...” His eyes flit over you, a flurry of emotions swirling within them, “What was it like for you?”

Rolling off of him, you position yourself comfortably at his side, feeling a bit of apprehension coming over you, “It was great- for me at least, I don’t know. It’s kind of silly honestly.”

Yoongi pushes himself up, tugging you with him so that both of you are propped up against the headboard. He uses his free hand to tilt your chin up towards him, “It’s not silly at all. I want to know.”

Suddenly, you feel very small underneath his gaze. It’s not in an uncomfortable way but, it’s certainly not something you’re used to. Thus far, you were used to being Yoongi’s safe space, his protector, his rock but, you were no stranger to insecurity either. Yoongi may view you as a confident woman, with a steady head on her shoulders and, he was right to do so.  

You’ve overcome a lot.  

The woman you are today has always been within you but her emergence is recent and, you’re fairly confident that Yoongi doesn’t know that.

“I didn’t think you liked me either. You are easily the hottest man I have ever seen in my entire life and, given the fact that I’ve been rejected so many times throughout my life, I kind of assumed that we would just be friends.  Most of the guys I’ve liked have only ever saw me that way. It became a running scenario in my head that I would grow old with a bunch of cats and, a bunch of really great friends but, I never really believed that I was the type of person someone would fall in love with. So when we had that conversation on the Ferris Wheel, I felt validated in a way. Here was this super attractive, interesting man who just admitted that he wanted to ‘kiss me everywhere’...I was elated. Even though I didn’t think things would go anywhere between us, I was still on cloud nine. Then we ended up kissing and then the night in your car- I guess this was a little more fairytale-like for me. I understand things were different for you though, especially after everything you’ve told me today.”

You’re not sure why this is suddenly making you so emotional but, you don’t force it away.

Yoongi did say he wanted to know everything about you and, conversations like these aren’t exactly something you plan.

He has been watching you intently during your explanation and during certain parts, you could feel his grip tightening on you slightly.

By the time you’re done, he sighs and shakes his head, “I’m sorry.”

“Why?” You cock your head, draping an arm across his stomach

“I’m sorry you ever had to face rejection or that you ever had to feel like you wouldn’t receive the type of love you deserve.” He runs a hand through his hair, “I’m also realizing that the way I described falling in love with you was fucking stupid and, I made it sound like it was this painful and frustrating process. Why do you even put up with me when I’m literally an idiot??”

The tension in your face starts to melt away and you start giggling by the end of his sentence, burrowing your face against his chest.  

He throws an incredulous look your way, tilting his head in different directions to try and shove his face towards yours, “Hm?? Tell me huh? Why do you put up with me???” He demands, tickling at your sides, his own smiling appearing at the sound of your laughter, “Yah! Laughter tells me nothing! How did someone so intelligent and beautiful settle down with me???”

His tickling should force you away from him but, you curl into him more, still giggling as you try and grab at his hand.

“You’re not an idiot!”

He stops his motions, tilting your chin up towards him again, his eyes still playful but sincere, “I am though. I just described the best months of my life as annoying. I used the words uninterested and disappointed, that’s something only an idiot would do.”

“Don’t forget ‘bombarded’...” You point out, smirking slightly as you rest your chin on his finger.

“Yahhh see?” He shakes his head, leaning down towards your lips, “Pabo...”

You kiss him, letting yourself linger there for a moment before pulling away, “Have they really been the best months of your life?”

At your question, Yoongi smiles softly, “Of course they have. I didn’t mean that falling in love with you hasn't been magical. It has. I just meant that initially, I was so resistant because I was afraid of getting hurt. I should have said it like that, instead of being an asshole about it.”

“You weren’t being an asshole.” You counter

“I was though.  You are the most important in the world to me and, I need to stop coating all of my emotions for you in 50 layers of irony just because, I have a fear of being vulnerable. You’re my everything- the love of my life and, I’m so grateful for you. I know that you don’t need me, I know you are complete without me and that you’ve overcome so much on your own but, I need you to know  that you can always count on me and that I feel everything you feel. I’m sorry if I ever made you think any different, even if it’s unintentional or even if you like my sarcasm or whatever, it’s still no excuse to continuously avoid telling you how I truly feel. Especially not after everything you’ve done for me.”

You’re a little captivated by his words and, you don’t speak just yet but you allow a smile to say what words cannot as he speaks again.

“I want to take care of you too. I want you to feel safe with me. Sometimes I feel like our relationship has been very one-sided in terms of you always making time for my feelings and, I don’t want that. I’ve just spent so much time admiring your outlook on life that I didn’t take enough time to consider where it came from. You are always working so hard to take care of everyone around you and, I feel like it’s because you might not have always felt taken care of yourself. I hope you know that you never have to feel that way with me, I’m here for you and- sorry I’m not even making sense anymore.” His rickety laughter makes an appearance as your smile widens, “I just really love you like- fuck...”

You burst out into a fit of giggles and practically tackle him as you hop on his lap again, pulling him in for a kiss, “You’re literally the sweetest man alive and the only thing ironic about you as the fact that you constantly wonder whether or not you are in fact, a good person or a good boyfriend. You are both and I really really really really love you too.”

His gums peek. out at your sudden outburst, his smile adding 10 years to your life whilst his hands grip your hips, “I love you...” He repeats again, “I’m sorry we’ve had several conversations like this, there’s just a lot to work through I guess and, I feel like I don’t ever say enough or say the right things...”

“Don’t apologize. You’re completely right. We are both trying to navigate through some pretty intense shit. I’m glad we can have these conversations; it means that we are continuing to learn how to communicate with one another.” You assure him, kissing the tip of his nose.

“That’s a good point. You make a lot of good points.” He notes playfully, kissing your cheek this time, nibbling there, relishing in the sound of your laughter once again. “I know we’ve said it a dozen times now but, I love you...”

“I love you too.” You murmur before wrapping your arms around him.

After a rather sporadic and emotional conversation, you and Yoongi decide to put on a comedy special to lift the bit of heaviness from the atmosphere. You really wanted to enjoy each other’s company before the stressful few days ahead.

You knew it wasn’t going to be easy for him to go back to his hometown and, you also knew that it would be nerve wracking for you for a myriad of reasons.  

Either way, you’d endure it together and meet the conflicts as they came.

Right now however, your mind is occupied with a completely different objective.  

You’d been laying on Yoongi’s chest for the last hour or so whilst he rubbed tenderly along your back.

He traced your spine, gently pinched at the base of your neck and occasionally massaged at your scalp.

Altogether, you felt content, fuzzy, on the edge of arousal but not quite that there yet.  

You’re touching him too now, your hand was resting on his stomach but you’ve started rubbing at his side, slowing and softly dragging your nails over his hoodie.

The thing is, you had been getting to each other for some time now but, there was no reason to rush into anything more.

You just wanted to touch each other, simple as that.  

Your hand moves to the bottom of his hoodie, tracing the stitching before slipping underneath it.

As soon as you do, Yoongi’s hand stalls on your back as he sighs.

“Why do you have to go there?”

His tone is playful and accusatory and it causes you to giggle.

“I’m not going anywhereeeee.” You insist, tickling your fingers over his lower abdomen

“Y-yah jagiyaaa- you know what that does to me.”  

His voice stutters a bit whilst you continue your motions, tickling back and forth above the band of his boxers, admiring how soft his skin is.  

“Do you want me to stop?”

He smirks to himself, resuming his touch against your back, “No- but if you plan on getting me hard, you should probably come up here and start kissing me.”

You smirk too now, pushing up his hoodie to allow you better access to the rest of his stomach, admiring the goosebumps that start appearing on his skin.

“Maybe I wanna watch you get hard...”

You hear him sigh again, his chest heaving with the sound.

“Fuck, ok.” He chuckles to himself, “Fair enough.”

Sure enough, you get to watch the show you desperately wanted to see because, as you trace over the band of his boxers, his dick jumps to life beneath the cotton.

A satisfied grin plays on your lips and you take the opportunity tickle just beneath his belly button, prompting another bout of twitching from his dick.  

“You know...” You murmur casually, continuing your teasing, “You’ve still never came in my mouth before.”

You feel the bluntness of his nails press into the skin of your back at your comment, another unstable sigh coming from him once again, “I haven’t.”

Slowly you sit up, finally turning to face him, resting your hand on his stomach.

You smirk down at him, his head pushed back into the pillow, a smile playing on his lips.

“Can we change that?”

He’s going all shy at the thought of being in your mouth again and he can’t figure out why.

You notice the blush on his cheeks and the timid gummy smile on his lips and, you decide to call him out on it.

“Why do you look so nervous??” You giggle, pinching his cheek

A bout of laughter bubbles past his lips like a bottle of soda that’s been shaken too much as he attempts to answer you.

“I don’t know!” He buries his face into the side of your arm, “It’s embarrassing...”

Fondness blooms in your chest and you immediately lay back down with him, pulling the covers over the two of you.

You wrestle around a bit, tucking yourself against him once more, the two of you giggling like two kids at a sleepover.

Yoongi kisses the side of your face, his own hot with arousal and embarrassment.

“Baby, you’ve literally let me tie you to the headboard...”

“Mm, I sure have...that was a good night.” His voice is deeper now as he starts kissing down your neck, “a really good night.”

“Do you not like it?”

He smirks against your neck, sucking lightly at the spot below your earlobe, sending a wave of arousal between your legs, “Are you really asking me whether or not I like getting my dick sucked?”

“WEeellll.” You laugh, relishing in the way his attention feels, slowly getting distracted by his lips on your skin, “You never let me do it for you. I’m just trying to understand why.”  

Before he can answer, a screeching voice comes from the other room, “HYUNG-AHHH!!”

Yoongi’s eyes widen in alarm as he immediately maneuvers his way out of the covers and rushes out the door, tugging his hoodie down in an attempt to conceal his hardened length beneath his boxers.

“What, What’s wrong?! Where are you?”

You’re following after him frantically, your heart pounding wildly in your chest. Yoongi’s shouting in Korean and you’re trying your best to follow him up the stairs without tripping over your own feet.

“Here! Oh god, please hurry!”

Yoongi’s playing a thousand horrible scenarios in his head, trying desperately to locate Hoseok before he spots the light on in the hallway bathroom, “What’s wrong? Did you fall? Are you hurt???”

You can’t understand Yoongi but, his tone tells you everything you need to know: he’s terrified.

“There! Hyung oh my god, do you see it? It’s so big and hairy! Kill it please, I’m gonna throw up!”

Hoseok is rushing out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel around his hips and pure panic on his face.

Yoongi’s expression shifts from terrified to utterly disgusted in record time as he backhands Hoseok across the bicep, “YAH! What is wrong with you huh?! You made me think you snapped your neck up here or something! Are you seriously screaming over a spider right now? You’re 26 years old.”

Hoseok seems unphased by Yoongi’s words and points frantically at the bathroom, “Hyung I don’t care, just please kill it. You know how much I hate bugs, I almost had a heart attack.”

Yoongi is actively trying to conceal whatever seems to be transpiring but, the curiosity gets the better of you and you rush over to look in the direction Hoseok is pointing only to be met with the grossest, hairiest, BIGGEST spider you’ve ever seen.

“Yoongiiiii.” You whine, hiding behind him, your heartrate doing the impossible and increasing in your chest, “Oh my god, please get rid of it...”

Yoongi groans audibly, shaking his head at Hoseok, “You idiot, she’s terrified of spiders. We were literally about to- fuck nevermind just stay right here, I’ll go get a jar.”

He turns around, chuckling slightly at the almost childlike expression on your face, “I’m gonna get don’t worry. Do you want to come downstairs with me while I get a jar for it?”

Wide eyed, you grab his hands haphazardly, “Mhm...”

“Ok...” He leans down to peck your cheek, smirking fondly “Let’s go.”

“Yah what about me huh? What am I supposed to do?!” Hoseok returns to English now, eyeballing the bathroom in horror

Yoongi rolls his eyes, “Just stay there and try and summon some dignity. I’ll be right back.”

Hoseok scoffs and leans against the wall, “I have enough already thanks-” He insists before his eyes widen again, “Hyung please hurry it’s moving!!!!!”

Yoongi chuckles and shakes his head, interlocking his fingers with yours as he leads the two of you downstairs.

The two of you are back in a flash and you quickly take your place behind Hoseok as your boyfriend completes the task of scooping the spider into the jar and rushing it outside.

As he trudges back up the stairs he extends his hand out to you, which you eagerly accept.

Hoseok had already calmed down by this point and was attempting to make smooth small talk with you as if his (justified) outburst had never happened.

“Well uh” Hoseok laughs, throwing finger guns towards the bathroom, “Thanks hyung, so sorry to interrupt the lovemaking, I’m just gonnnnaaa head into the shower now-”

“Ah- no you aren’t. You’re going to apologize to my girlfriend for scaring the shit out of her and then you’re going to promise me that you’ll never scream for me like that again unless you are in mortal danger.” Yoongi shoots him a pointed look but there is still a bit of softness in his eyes and a smile threatening his lips.

“I’m so sorry Y/N, I had no idea you had a phobia of spiders.  That was definitely my bad. And hyung,” He shoots a brilliant smile in his direction, throwing up a finger heart, “I love youuuuuuu. Thanks for saving my life.”

“Don't be sorry; I literally would have done the same thing.” You vow, giggling nervously, furthering retreating into Yoongi’s side.

Yoongi snorts, wrapping an arm around you and sending Hoseok on his way before he gently pinches your side, “Are you ok?”

“Absolutely not.” You affirm, “But, I will heal as time goes on...”

He snickers, shaking his head whilst he leads you back downstairs.

“I swear he almost gave me a heart attack.” He shakes his head, placing his free hand on his chest, “Feel- it’s still beating so fast...”

You push your head against his chest, causing him to laugh again, not expecting the method you chose but he allows it none the less.

His chest is thrumming with the evidence of commotion still and you turn your head quickly to press a kiss to his chest.

“Me too- look...”  

As the two of you come back into his room, you guide his hand to your chest in order to demonstrate your fast paced heartbeat.

Yoongi shakes his head, “I’m sorry about him, he’s ridiculous.”

You nod, glancing down at Yoongi’s boxers which no longer display the evidence of his arousal and, you whine, keeping his hand in place on your chest.

“You’re not hard anymoreeeee.” You complain, slumping against the wall near the bathroom. Yoongi laughs, his gums peeking out whilst you guide his hand over your breast, “Squeeze-” You giggle, indulging in your immaturity for a moment, “We’ll bring it back...”

He laughs harder, his beautiful face wrinkling in amusement as he obliges, squeezing your breast.

“Are you hard yet???” You ask through your laughter, tugging him closer to you, tilting your head towards his lips.

“Oh yeah-” He nods to his dick, still laughing, “Rock solid...”

He kisses you then, keeping his hand in place as he smiles into your lips.

The giggling between the two of you slowly fades as Yoongi tucks his mouth betwixt your own. He kisses you tenderly, his free hand curving around your waist and securing you to him. The hand on your breast massages you gently for a moment before he feels around for your nipple. Once he locates it, he begins teasing it between his thumb and his forefinger, smirking into your mouth when you sigh at the sensation. The two of you press further into one another, getting lost in the moment before you decide to resume your earlier mission.

“Can I pleaaaase make you cum in my mouth now?” You murmur against his lips, giggling when he blushes again, attempting to hide his face in your neck. “Babyyyyy what is it? Why are you hiding?”

His arms wrap around your waist now, sandwiched between your body and the wall. He shakes his head, pressing kisses into the crook of your neck whilst he tries to figure out the best way to answer your question.

“Nervous.” He mumbles and you can feel him smirk into your skin.

Your heart is exploding with adoration at how fucking cute your boyfriend can be literally out of nowhere.

His duality gives you whiplash sometimes.

“Why are you nervous?”

His grip tightens on you as you attempt to coax his face out of your neck, snickering when you try to pinch his cheek.

“I’m gonna cum too fast.” He confesses, finally pulling away to make eye contact with you, his black hair disheveled atop his head.

You giggle, smoothing out his messy onyx tendrils before bringing his lips down to yours.

“So what?” You murmur against them, “It doesn’t matter how quickly you cum, I just want to make you feel good...”

Yoongi feels a sharp pang of arousal in the pit of his stomach at the sultry tone of your voice, his dick twitching to life between his legs.

“I just feel like you don’t get anything out of it though...I want you to feel good too.” He protests, sighing out through his nose when you slip your hand beneath his hoodie.

You smirk, tickling over his sensitive skin, “Do you really think I don’t get anything out of having you in my mouth?”

Peppering kisses down his neck, you continue to gently roam your hands over his hips and stomach, ensuring that your motions are slow and deliberate.

“I’m really second guessing getting head right now aren’t I? I’m actually overthinking getting a blowjob, I’m fucking ridiculous...” He laughs now, hugging you to his body, his smile widening when you giggle along with him.

Pulling back away from his neck, you nudge his nose, delighting in the sparkle within his eyes before pecking at his lips, “Do you want it? If you’re feeling weird about it, it’s ok. We don’t have to do it.”

He smirks, his hands sliding down your back to rest against your ass, “No, no I want it. I really do, I’m just being...myself.”

His honesty makes you laugh again.

You’re so grateful for it though.

The comfort level between the two of you is off the charts and, it makes you so incredibly happy.  

From the lecture hall to the bedroom; the two of you really have come so far.

“Go lay down then...” You urge him, still smiling as he eagerly rushes towards the bed.

He flops back against the pillows, folding his arms behind his head and immediately tucking a lip between his teeth. His breathing is already unstable due to all the kissing but, he knows he’ll have to actively calm himself in order to last.

You place your knees on the bed between his legs and maneuver yourself closer to the seam of his boxers. You don’t feel the need to try and be sexy or dramatic, the intimacy floating between the two of you is more than enough to turn you both on.  

However, in the spirit of making your boyfriend feel good, you still want to put on a little bit of a show for him.

“Comfy?” You grin and he immediately rolls his eyes, his lip still tucked between his teeth

“Sure.” He throws a half smirk your way and although it’s not his intention to do so, it spurs you on further.

There’s never a bad time to fluster your boyfriend...

Wordlessly, you grasp the hem of your oversized t-shirt before tugging it over your head, leaving you in nothing but a pair of black boy shorts.

Yoongi’s eyes widen ever so slightly and his chest expands to fit the deep breath he just took, the breath he lets out slowly and shakily.

“So am I.” You smirk, sitting back on your knees to give him the full view of your body. The air of Yoongi’s bedroom is crisp and slightly cooler than you’d like it to be and it causes your nipples to harden, aching for the warmth of his touch. With your hand lingering on your inner thigh, you sigh, “My panties are ruined already-” You pout, “That’s really annoying...they’re going to be drenched by the time you cum.”

Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut whilst he lets out an audible groan, “Ok- what the fuck? You’re not even giving me a chance to last at this point...” He laughs humorlessly, his eyes opening and going straight between your thighs, “Let me see.”  

You smirk at his bout of laughter, delighting in how flustered he looks before honoring his request.

Dipping your hand beneath the band of your underwear you slide your fingers over your clit, which is honestly a terrible idea because now it’s throbbing with the need to be played with and,  swipe your fingers over viscous arousal collecting at your entrance.

Yoongi watches you like a hawk, eagerly awaiting the evidence supporting your previous statement.

He isn’t disappointed when you remove your fingers from your panties to show him the stringy, slippery arousal connecting your digits together. The amount of wetness actually surprises you and the way Yoongi looks at you, only worsens the situation between your legs.

Yoongi sits up suddenly, grasping your wrist with both of his hands, eyeing the moisture on your fingers like a man deprived before sucking both of them into his mouth. You feel his tongue lick between them, collecting you, the sensation quickly mirroring itself in your panties. Eyes fluttering close, you allow him to suck on you for longer than necessary, your heartrate quickening as he groans softly against your skin.

He pulls off of you, allowing his lips to linger on the tips of your fingers, his cat-like eyes flitting up to yours. Wordlessly, he brings his hand off the bed and quickly slips it into your underwear. Before you even register what’s occurring, the pads of his fingers are brushing past your clit and tucking themselves inside of you. Your lips part in shock, your hands coming out to brace against his shoulders as he curls them up against your g-spot.

Wide eyed, you meet your boyfriends smug expression as he starts rocking his fingers upwards inside of you.  

“Yo-Yoongi...” You grunt, as the pleasure latches on to the pit of your stomach, the sensation unlike anything you’ve ever felt before.

“Mhm, I know- it's good huh?” He chuckles, using his free hand to brace itself against your back, pushing your body against his hand working between your thighs, “You thought I’d just have a little taste and that was it? That’s all I would want?”

“Fuck...” You whimper, your head slumping against his shoulder, leaving his lips at your ear to say whatever filthy things come to mind.

He quickens his pace and the pleasure is so intense that you have a half a mind to tell him to stop because you kind of feel like you’re going to pee yourself but, the next wave of sensations quickly sends that thought to the trash.

“Have you ever squirted before baby?” He croons into your ear, holding you tightly

Your head shakes rapidly, your eyes squeezing shut as you bury your face into his neck, “N-Not with anybody...”

You’ve certainly made yourself squirt before but it was unintentional and definitely didn’t compare to the way Yoongi was making you feel.

He grins, nibbling on the shell of your ear, his breath sending a shiver down your spine, “I think you’re about to, I can feel how tight you are around my fingers. Do you want to cum all over my hand jagiya?”

“Mhm-” You whimper, tucking both of your lips between your teeth as you try your hardest not to moan, “Yoongi...”

Yoongi can feel how hard he is now, his swollen dick nearing the edges of pain from neglect but, his focus is entirely on you and making sure you get yours before he thinks of himself.

“Are you gonna say my name when you cum beautiful?” He whispers, quickening his pace once again, his grin broadening when you nod rapidly in his neck, your legs spreading further to the point where he’s having to fight against the mattress to keep at it.

“On your dick- please? Please can I cum on your dick?” You plead, sucking on his neck now, not fully coherent because all you can think about is cumming.

“Oh my fucking god.” He groans, shaking his head

He’s never heard you ask for his dick like that before and, who is he to deny his perfect girlfriend the throne she so aptly deserves?

“Come get it baby.” He pleads, pulling back to look into your eyes, “Come take it, it’s yours, use it...”

You’re on him seconds later and his fucking up into you with everything he has, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood so he doesn’t wake his roommates.

With your hand over your mouth, you whine into your palm as your orgasm approaches. Yoongi smirks proudly at you, saying everything you need to hear to push you over the edge.

“Beautiful...you’re so beautiful.”

“Please cum for me...”

“Cum all over me.”

“I love you...”

Yoongi’s successful in his plan to make you squirt and by the time he finishes inside of you, you’re a proper mess.

The orgasm he’s given you is intense and for once, you’re the one shaking in his arms, trying to get your wits about you. Lovingly, Yoongi places kisses all over your face and the side of your head, his big hands massaging gently into your back as he helps you come down, even though he’s attempting to relax after his own orgasm.

“D-damn you, that was not the plan.” You mutter, playfully nibbling on his shoulder

He chuckles warmly, still kissing on you, “It wasn’t a part of your plan but, let’s just assume that my plan will forever involve making you cum like that, that was- shit that was really hot.”

“Yoongiiiiii....” You whine, feeling very needy and slightly embarrassed, “You made me ruin the sheets though, I feel bad.”

You hear him scoff incredulously, “Yoongiiiiiii I’m so sorry my beautiful body just had a powerful orgasm all over your sheets, how rude of me, I’m so disrespectful.” He imitates your voice playfully, chuckling louder as you wack him against the shoulder, still hiding away in his neck.

“Shut uppppppp.”

“You are always the one making me cum so hard that I question my sanity. After everything you’ve been through with me today, I wanted to return the favor. You did exactly what you deserved to do; if we didn’t have a flight to catch tomorrow, I’d have my hand in your panties all over again.”

Yoongi's bedroom is dark now as the TV has turned itself off due to lack of activity but, despite the absence of light, you can still feel how wet the sheets are beneath your bodies.

It has you all shy for some reason, reminding you that although you usually take the dominant role in the bedroom, you still have a desire to be small, to be held, to be taken care of...

It felt good to let him do that.

“Thank you.” You murmur, wrapping your arms around his back, pecking the side of his neck, “It was amazing, you’re amazing.”

He smiles in the darkness, “You deserve it.” He thumbs across the cheek that isn't hidden away in his neck, “Are you going to let me take care of you more often? Have I proven myself worthy mistress?”

The nickname isn’t something he’s used before and it both amuses you and intrigues you all at once. You laugh, nodding in agreement, kissing his skin again, “Mhm, more than worthy.”

Yoongi knows he has to change the sheets.

He knows the two of you need to get some sleep.

But for the moment, he wants to stay still.

He wants to love on you and make you feel all the things you make him feel.  

He wants to do everything you’ve done for him.

He’s in this for the long haul and he knows it.  

This is that forever kind of love.

That I want to marry you kind of love.

That I adore every inch of you kind of love.

He’s found it, it’s all his and he wants to spend the rest of life proving to you how grateful he is.

...how in love he is.

….how lucky he is.

“I love you.” He whispers

“I love you too.”

#yoongi #fear and dumplings #yoongi fluff #yoongi smut #agust d #agust d smut #agust d fluff #yoongi fics #yoongi fic recs #yoongi college au #agust d fics #agust d fic recs #agust d x reader #yoongi x reader #yoongi cute #yoongi angst #yoongi sexy #yoongi hot #bts #bts smut #boyfriend! yoongi #bts fanfics #bts fics #bts fic recs #bangtan #bts cute #bts hot #bts sexy #bts fanfiction #hoseok

[kexing]

Venji has always been endgame: Benji’s attraction to Victor

the first thing I really need people to understand is that Benji is not watching the show, he’s not seeing things through Victor’s point of view, and for the most part of the season he has no idea Victor is struggling with his sexuality. from Benji’s point of view, Victor is straight and into Mia. that’s how I’m going to be analyzing his thoughts and actions (well, guessing mostly because he does lack screen time and insight moments. hopefully we’ll get more of him in season two!!)

btw I’m gonna break it down episode by episode because I’m insane (and I also feel strangely connected to Benji so don’t @ me)

Episode 1 - Welcome to Creekwood

as I’ve mentioned before, you can interpret Benji’s “nice shoes!” line as interest. but even if you’re not willing to do that, I still think it’s valid to consider that he might’ve felt some kind of immediate connection to Victor (if episodes 2 and 3 are any indication of that. and the Call Me Maybe lyrics).

Episode 2 - Stoplight Party

the “Benji attempts to teach Victor how to make a espresso” scene is very much about Victor’s attraction to Benji so I don’t wanna look too much into it. also Benji comes off as (at least for me!) a very attentive and loving person, so his dedication to teaching Victor felt very genuine. but still like...... he did get lost in Victor’s eyes for a moment before the milk spilled akdjksdjjs

then at the end of the episode Benji calls Victor late at night (he even apologizes for that) when he could’ve called Victor at any other time or could’ve just told him at school. and well, (I may be reaching here but headcanons are always good!!) I like to believe Benji couldn’t stop thinking about Victor, which is why he decided to call. for some unknown reason he already feels connected to Victor and wanted to hear his voice and—

let me stop here before I write a whole fanfic because that’s not the purpose of this post.

Episode 3 - Battle of the Bands

oh boy, I’m gonna try to unpack this episode, hopefully I’ll make some sense. I’m very sorry if I fail!

so, Victor and Benji have the Call Me Maybe (cutest) moment, in which Victor tells Benji that he’s going on a date with Mia the next day.

Now. I need you to remember that Victor explicitly told Benji that he and Mia wouldn’t go to the Battle of the Bands and that Benji had already performed when Victor got there and only performed again because his band won the battle (so I’m pretty sure Victor wasn’t supposed to hear the Call Me Maybe cover). therefore this wasn’t Benji confessing his feelings to Victor. if anything, I believe it was his way of dealing with the intense and ever-growing feelings that he has for Victor through his biggest passion (music), pretty much like making a reference to something that you know no one else will understand (since for everyone else it’s just a Carly Rae Jepsen bop).

but then Victor eventually shows up and hears Benji singing Call Me Maybe and for him it’s definitely not just a Carly Rae Jepsen bop anymore. it’s their song

after the performance, it looks like Benji is going to talk to him about it, maybe to try and make it seem like it’s no big deal (since he thinks Victor is into Mia, and he himself is in a long term relationship) but Derek appears and we’re all left heartbroken (Simon & his friends included).

what I’m trying to say is: they are two halves of the same idiot. while Victor is in denial of his sexuality and attraction to Benji, Benji is in denial of his growing feelings for Victor. we love this denial duo

Episode 4 - The Truth Hurts

not much to say about this one BUT. at the beginning of the episode you can see how Victor and Benji are working totally in sync, to the point where they barely need words like the freaking soulmates that they are. honestly, I’m done pretending they aren’t soulmates because this show just kept shoving that into our faces over and over and if you failed to see it then it’s not my problem (or maybe it is since I’m literally spending my time trying to explain exactly that. but I just care too much about these two and I want people to understand why).

then Derek calls and Benji picks up lovingly because he’s a loving person and a caring boyfriend and even though he might be struggling with his feelings for Victor, he’s not about to neglect his boyfriend (shame we can’t say the same thing about Derek) (no I will not stop throwing shade at him).

Episode 5 - Sweet Sixteen

I could try and say several things about this one but for real, BENJI DREW VICTOR AND GAVE HIM THE DRAWING AS A BIRTHDAY GIFT. like! this stupidly artistic boy!!!!!!!!! this stupidly caring boy!!!!!!!!! he could’ve bought Victor literally anything or not even bothered to think of a gift At All, but he took the time to DRAW VICTOR LIKE ONE OF HIS FRENCH BOYS!!!!! what am I supposed to do with this knowledge!!!!

now I’m imagining Benji observing Victor. the way the light hits his face, how his shoulders move, the shape of his hands....... all the while telling himself it’s just to draw Victor!!!!! but that’s still beautiful and frankly thirsty nonetheless.

p.s I was robbed of a scene like that.

Episode 6 - Creekwood Nights

not much to say about this one except the show blatantly telling us that Derek can be real shitty sometimes. also, I wanna talk about Venji’s dynamics throughout the show so bad but it deserves a post of its own so I’m gonna hold my tongue.

Episode 7 - What Happens In Willacoochee

(stays in Willacoochee or maybe it will haunt your gay ass all the way to New York).

oh boy, this is where shit starts going down for real.

so Victor kisses Benji. I’m not going to defend Victor because what he did was reckless and dumb and frankly disrespectful. but I need to say that it was going to happen sooner or later because when you repress something too hard and for too long, it’s bound to come back with full force and explode in your face. I really wish it was in a different circumstance, of course, but also life isn’t always made of perfect situations and shit happens. (and nope, that does not excuse Victor’s actions).

now think about Benji. he’s been struggling with his feelings for Victor, who as far as he knows is straight and in a relationship, and then suddenly Victor kisses him. my best guess (due to his reaction to Victor’s speech in episode 10) is that he thinks Victor isn’t being serious about it, that in no moment that kiss meant anything but curiosity and recklessness, when they both have people to lose (again, he doesn’t know that Victor struggles with his sexuality, much less that Victor has feelings for him).

so yeah, I believe Benji was upset, not only with Victor though, but with himself.

(I’ll come back to this in a second)

no Benji in episode 8 so.......

Episode 9 - Who The Hell Is B

Benji decides to leave the coffee shop. Victor tells him that the kiss wasn’t his fault and Benji says that being around Victor makes him feel guilty, now why is that?

firstly because he’s not a psychopath and the fact that he cheated on Derek makes him feel guilty. but I do believe that that’s not the only thing that makes him feel guilty. deep down he liked kissing Victor. he likes Victor, he’s been doing his best to keep that buried but Victor had to go and complicate things, so now the only way to avoid making a bigger mess is staying as far away as possible from each other. so he runs back to the safety of his relationship with Derek.

(listen, I know the show makes it seem like Benji is super angry and wants nothing to do with Victor but I don’t believe that’s the case. he’s upset and feeling guilty for liking someone else, denial does make you act very hostile sometimes).

Episode 10 - Spring Fling

Benji’s denial continues but (thankfully) it won’t last much longer.

he goes to the bathroom and tells Victor that he’s read his letter and that he does forgive him for kissing him but that that doesn’t change anything, that it’s best for them to stay away from each other.

that’s until he hears Victor’s speech to Derek (which was more to Benji than Derek so). that’s the moment he realizes that Victor actually likes him, that the kiss as cursed as it was had meant something, that they both feel exactly the same thing. that’s what gives him courage to finally accept that he can’t be with Derek anymore because his heart belongs to someone else. (has belonged to Victor from the moment they met) akdjskdjsj someone please tell me to shut up

which leads us to the bench kiss(es) scene. now, these boys are a whole mess because Victor was still technically dating Mia (he did try to come out to her before, couldn’t do it so he decided to come out after the Spring Fling) (good intention, poor execution).

But I also believe this was just lazy writing and they wanted to have a scene where Mia catches Victor and Benji together. it could’ve been done better, they could’ve been just touching foreheads or something but they wanted the full drama so the kiss(es) happened. I’m taking 50 points away from the writers for this. (also does not excuse Victor or Benji since they literally met halfway. these idiots are so in love wtf!)

(I still love them though, and hope they do better in the future, for themselves and for each other).

anyway, I think that’s it! if you read up until this point: thank you so much!!!! I tried my best to understand and explain Benji since the show said fuck Benji stans. hope this helps!

— love, MJ

#lost all my brain cells writing this #love victor #venji #victor x benji #victor salazar #benji campbell #mj talks

[chofitia]

Fic Review

Tagged by the incomparable @jukeboxhound​

(This got very long. See you all under the cut.)

How many works do you have on ao3? 29

What’s your total ao3 word count? 54,129

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Compilation of FFVII / FFVII Remake

G.I. Joe (cartoon) (the outlier that was because of a request)

Final Fantasy XV

Juuni Kokki / Twelve Kingdoms

Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika / Puella Magi Madoka Magica (does this count if it’s just a crossover?)

Taishou Yakyuu Musume

人渣反派自救系统 / The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System

Are there any new fandoms you want to write for? I have something that I kind of want to do for MDZS? There’s also some work I’d like to do with TGCF, but it’s a visual thing. Honestly, I’d just like to be freer to write for myself and to write more regularly. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

To Say Nothing of the Cat

What We Do Behind the Scenes

Upgrade(s)

Fleet-Footed Lion

Acquisition

I’m honestly surprised that the Explicit-rated fic (”What We Do...”) wasn’t first. Mainly because I remember more kudos alerts for it than “To Say Nothing...” Then again, I wrote in FFXV while it was the New Hotness and “What We Do...” was written several years into the Remake drought. Which of your fics do you want more attention for? All of them because I’m dependent on the validation of other people.

But seriously, “Honor Among..” because I want people to get into Mercverse.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Yes. Most of my comments come in ones or twos, and I tend to have a set format for them:

Thank you for reading! [Anecdote(s) on the writing/creation of item(s) mentioned in the comment.] Thanks again for reading!

What sorts of things do you normally write? Slow burn? Humor? Angst with a happy ending? Some adventure? Emotionally loaded conversations? AUs and slice of life in which the main conflicts of the canon are ignored in favor of more mundane problems.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? “Source“, I guess? (Being Meguka is suffering. Being Cloud is also suffering.) I did write some cynical edgelord shit back at the turn of the century that was basically “things suck and I know that they suck because I am better than everyone else and I’m not going to do anything about it because I can’t change anything.”

What’s a fic that pushed you out of your comfort zone?

Pretty much any fic that I’ve written for an exchange, for various reasons. My top two are:

“What We Do Behind the Scenes” - It’s explicit. I don’t have a lot of experience writing explicit fic.  

“Honor Among...” - I want to write something with a plot! And it has to be a scholarly critique of social stratification and well-intentioned people with privilege. And a mystery with foreshadowing and red herrings and reread bonuses. And it has to be the best thing I’ve ever written in my life. I should get a beta. Oh, so you think I should make some adjustments, beta? My rejection hyper sensitivity says that means that I should never write anything again.   

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

The only crossover I have is “Source”. I’ve thrown some ideas around for some fusions, but nothing I’ve completed.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. I’m not holding my breath, to be honest.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Sort of? They’ve all failed at different points of the planning:

1. I RP with someone and I promise to write a story based on the RP. I never write it.

2. I RP with someone and I promise to write a story based on the RP. I write it, but keep it under friends-lock because I felt uncomfortable centering my OCs in anything set for public consumption.

3. Someone includes a cameo of one of my OCs in their fic. I write fic of the fic from the OC’s POV. (This incident happened before situations 1 and 2.) The author previews my work for continuity and general cheerleading. I never finish the (multi-chaper) fic.

4. Someone asks me to work on a fic together with them. I accept. We brainstorm. I show my complete ass and get called out on it. The person decides that it wouldn’t be a good idea to work together. I never bring it up again because I don’t want to remind them of how ignorant I am.

5. Someone asks me to work on a fic together with them. I accept. We get to work. However, what happens is that I write one scene and they write another. The work was basically taking a Shakespeare play and find-replacing bits of it. We never finish it.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Probably “Special Delivery”. I gave up on it because everything felt too contrived and I knew I couldn’t stick the landing. I feel like it would be best for me to tear it all down and rewrite it from scratch.

What are you currently working on?

A Luo Binghe- and Meng Mo-centered fic about the time during the Abyss. Basically an excuse for me to process my need for external validation and my expectations of the love/approval of others. That said, since it is a fic about processing my need for external validation and my expectations of the love/approval of others, I don’t think it would make sense for me to actually publish it.

The Heir and the Spare. A series of connected one-shots in which a recently resurrected Sephiroth and a permanently fifteen Chadley figure out how to human and bond through the respective traumas of their experiences with Hojo. This is still a bunch of scenes in my head, and I feel like I need to learn how to human and process my parent-derived traumas before even attempting it.

What are your writing strengths?

Remembering that idiolects are a thing, and using that in narration.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Plots are non-existent. If I manage to have a plot, they’re trite and simplistic. I don’t write conflict. My pacing is terrible. I can’t write battles. I can’t provide tension. Everyone sounds the same in dialogue. I can’t write long-fic. I don’t write consistently. I don’t write for myself anymore. I’m afraid of writing things that excite or interest me because I believe that no one will like it and external validation is what matters. I don’t write for improvement. I don’t use a beta regularly and when I do use a beta I take their critique too personally. I don’t explore challenging themes. I don’t have themes in my work. I don’t use my work to explore or problematize themes and topics from the canon. I don’t understand the canon. I don’t critique the canon in a scholarly and nuanced way. I don’t reflect on my writing for improvement or for personal enlightenment. I don’t refine my work. I don’t have “galaxy brain” takes or ideas. I procrastinate on my assignments. I put too much pressure on myself. I expect certain amounts of interaction/validation and when it doesn’t materialize, I take it as proof that my work is terrible. I don’t push. I don’t fight. I give up too easily. I can’t find positives in my work easily.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Most recent?

Same answer for both, actually: Final Fantasy VII.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

If we’re talking about how I felt while writing it, then the Mary Sue fic that I first started working on back in 1998. I wrote that for myself, mostly. (I did ask for critique and I did take the critique personally, but once I reworked what I had, I honestly had fun with it.) It’s Old Shame now.

If we’re talking about me reading everything I’ve ever written in the present, I hate “Honor Among...” the least. There are parts from each chapter that I really like, but because the work as it is doesn’t match the first grand idea/expectation I had in my head, it feels like I compromised/cut corners/didn’t work as hard as I should have in order to get it done. 

What fic are you most proud of?

“The Traveling Companions” and “Honor Among” because they had plots and they’re complete.

#long post #long post is long

[thesunnyshow]

Name: Emmy

Writing Blog URL(s): @pastelsicheng​

What fandom(s) do you write for?: NCT

Age: 19

Nationality: Canadian

Languages: fluent-ish in English, French, Urdu, Hindi, Pujarati, Punjabi, Arabic (listed in order from languages I can speak/read/write in, to languages I can't write/read/speak but can understand)

Star Sign: Aries

MBTI: INFP-T

Favorite color: I like most colours but I always just say purple 

Favorite food: Khow Suey. Idk how to describe it in English but it’s like noodles that you mix with like thick yellow curry and chicken tarkari, and you can put fried onions on top and what I call samosa crumbs (basically the crunchy dough you use for samosas, it’s like the dough fried alone and you just crush it and put it on top), and I add a bit of ketchup too cause its noodles and it's so good

Favorite ice cream flavor: Cookies and cream, or just basic french vanilla

Favorite animal: I love most of them hahah but I will say elephants

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?: Coffee most likely but I love tea more

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): Open my own cafe

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose?: Control time

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?: No thank you I don't want to live through this again

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken?: 100 chicken-sized horses because I heard chickens eat people so uhhh no thanks 

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been?: The overachieving nerd/student council president. That’s literally what I was

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures?: Yes. Aliens and ghosts and demons, they’re all real. Not fairies and vampires and werewolves tho. 

Do you have a role model? If so, who?: There’s definitely people I look up to and try to learn from for various things, but I don’t think I have like one solid role model

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?: I used to be a tomboy when I was a kid, and probably still am deep inside

When did you post your first piece? 

January 2020

Why did you start writing on Tumblr? 

I found it easier to gain feedback and find an audience of readers on Tumblr, plus the site was just easier for me to navigate compared to like Wattpad

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? 

I write anything I feel like writing, and am open to trying new stuff. I just won’t write smut. I don’t feel comfortable writing or reading it

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc?

I write x readers

Who is your favorite person to write about?

I don’t have a favourite person, mainly because I pick people based on who I think would fit a certain concept best. I guess my favourite would be y/n LOL because y/n is in every fic and I put myself into their character.

What inspires you to write?

I just like writing. I get a lot of ideas of stuff I want to write, and as a kid I wanted to be an author, but that obviously isn’t happening anytime soon so I just write fanfics. They’re easier to write because characters are already developed for you, and they don’t have a word limit to how long and short they need to be compared to actual OC fics

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?

Anything that relates to normal people, I enjoy writing. I like to insert my own experiences and thoughts in my stories so I write scenarios that I can imagine myself in or things I’ve experienced already, stuff like that

What do you hope your readers take away from your work?

I just want them to enjoy what I write. I’d like for my fics to be memorable, but idk if they are lol

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?

I just don’t write. It’s bad but I don’t want to write something that I don’t like so I don’t force myself to write when I don’t feel like it. If it takes me months to get out of that rough spot, then oh well. I don’t want to force myself to do anything that would make me hate writing, since it's one of the only few hobbies of mine.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?

Most successful is murder replay. My favourite is an unreleased fic that I’m still working on. It’s pretty self-indulgent, and I talk about internal conflict with sexuality and not knowing what you really want, alongside being insecure and having mental illnesses. It’s angsty but it’s one of my favourites because of how much of myself I’ve poured into it

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? 

It’s the same. Aside from the character being a real life person, fanfiction is the exact same as prose because it’s completely original ideas and thoughts, completely original sentences, and in general just the exact same as original prose. There’s like no difference.

What do you think makes a good story?

A writer who enjoys what they’re doing. It doesn’t matter your skill level or your language skills, or whatever. If you are passionate about what you write, then it will be evident in the story, and it will be a great story. There’s other things like the story idea and genre, but that’s all dependent on the reader. What I think makes a good story is different from what someone else thinks makes a good story. But in general, it’s the author that makes it good. You can tell if the writer really liked what they were doing, or if they were just writing for the sake of throwing words on a document and then calling it a day.

What is your writing process like?

Get an idea. Make a doc with that idea. Either immediately try and develop details, or leave the idea as is for months, maybe years. After developing the details, write the beginning of the fic, a few scenes I really liked, and then call it a day and never open the document for a few months again lol. Then I wait until I’m in the mood to write for that specific fic, and then I will write as much as I can. Finishing fics is a struggle, I’ve yet to finish my longer ones lol. I have a terrible writing process. The only way I really finish is if I already told my followers i will post it and theyre all waiting for it. Then I feel bad leaving people hanging and so it motivates me to finish. But yeah once I actually finish it, I throw it into grammarly and some other editors, fix stuff up, and publish.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?

Doubt it. Once I’m done with a fic, I’m done. I don’t really want to go back and change anything. Even the longer fics that I love, I get sick of them and so I just dont want to touch them once they're done.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?

I’m a huge sucker for childhood best friends to lovers lol. I have gushed about this on my blog a few times. Just the fact that you know someone for that long, and even been through arguments and times of not talking to each other, just to still come back to each other, thats real love even if its platonic. I’m just a sucker for that stuff. I also really enjoy anything that I, as a normal person, can relate to so high school AUs, college AUs, platonic AUs, anything real life based. There’s no tropes that I can’t stand, just tropes I don’t find interest in or don’t read much.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? 

Depends on how long i took to write the fic. If it’s a short piece ranging between a few hundred words to maybe a couple thousand words then I don’t really care much because chances are I didn’t take long to write it. My pieces that are longer than 5k, I care about because those are usually the ones more close to my heart, and the ones I spent way more time than necessary working on. Even just one reader telling me they enjoyed my story makes my day 

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)?

I know murder replay which is my current biggest story blew up, and I feel like part of it was because of the frequent updating I did. I kept a schedule and made sure to stick with it, even changing parts of the story to fit feedback from readers. Consistency was definitely key, and also engaging with readers. Replying to all their reblogs even if it was just tags they added, constantly expressing how grateful I am, stuff like that because it makes people feel that they’re validated as well. And I guess the general idea/trope of the fic was interesting to people too

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?

Yeah lol. It’s definitely something I hide from everyone I know in real life because I dont want to be looked down on. 

Do you think art can be a medium for change?

Yes!! Art defies boundaries set by language, especially visual art. Stories are a good way to express things to people who don’t understand why something is the way it is, it’s literally what has been done by humans since the start of time. We pass down stories explaining things. 

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?

Yeah, sometimes when I felt really burnt out, I felt I had to post an update or something just so that my followers got what they kinda signed up for when they followed me. It was partially just the pressure I put onto myself I guess because my followers are always supportive and understanding when I say I cant post an update. I’d also say in general there’s a part of me that wants to write for others too. I would be lying if I said I only write for myself because that’s not true. The whole reason I write and post is because I want some reader interaction and feedback, and if I truly did only write for myself I wouldn’t be posting.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times? 

Not yet! And I hope I don’t have to experience that lol

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?

Nope. No one does. It’s something I wanna keep to myself. Even some of my other internet friends don’t know.

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?

I purposely send a bunch of messages because I feel bad leaving people on read so I just keep sending hearts and stuff to express my love but also just so that you can end the convo when you feel like.

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?

Go for it! It might be scary to get criticism, but I promise there are way more nice people on Tumblr than there are mean people. In fact I haven’t even interacted or met with a mean anon or person on here yet. Also the only way to really start is to go for it. I get anxious too every time I post something, even now, and honestly its just a feeling ya know. Its just chemicals in your body. So don’t stress, and if you always need someone to boost your ego and promote your work you have me! 

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? 

Nope

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? 

The memorable ones are Mimu, Nini, Gwen, Philo, and Krystal who were supportive of murder replay. Also sunflower anon and peace sign anon, and recently Jo has been really supportive.

Pick a quote to end your interview with

“...the universe is basically like a machine. I don’t know who made it, if it was the Fates, or the gods, or capital-G God, or whatever. But it chugs along the way it’s supposed to most of the time. Sure, little pieces break and stuff goes haywire once in a while, but mostly . . . things happen for a reason.” Leo Valdez in The House of Hades (so technically Riordan lol)

BONUS: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL

Interested in your very own episode of The Sunny Show? Find out how to apply here.

#@pastelsicheng #thesunnyshow #featuredauthor #episode 19 #nct

[elixir448]

Good Girls 3x06 Thoughts (Will I ever get these up after the episode? Nope)

Good Girls 3x04 and 3x05 Thoughts Here

So lemme tell you.This post was basically finished and then I accidentally deleted it and have spent the last few hours typing it all out again. I’m just...yeah.

Dean and Au Jus

I know that a lot of people feel that Dean talking about cancer and chemotherapy costs would have been the perfect moment for Beth to scathingly bring up his lie about having cancer. While I acknowledge that it could have worked and all of us have been wanting to see this since he blurted out that he had cancer in season 1, there are a few reasons why I wouldn’t have wanted the issue raised in this scene:

1. I think it would have trivialised the depth of such a betrayal.

2. This scene was about Beth’s reaction to Lucy’s death and having to dig up her body, clean her face with baby wipes and then take a photo of it in order to unlock her phone and convince her kind-hearted boyfriend, who she loved, that she is still alive and wants nothing to do with him. This has nothing to do with Dean or his lies and it has everything to do with Lucy and the weight of her death on Beth’s shoulders. Why should it be about Dean? Despite the fact that he is in the scene, it actually has nothing to do with him.

3. I do wonder if the cancer lie will ever be addressed, mainly because I think Beth felt so guilty over Dean being shot by Rio that she essentially let it slide. Even in 2x05, when she finds out that Dean had multiple affairs rather than just one, she pointedly does not raise it. Perhaps it’s because she only found out about it in the lead up to her confrontation with Rio and Dean in 1x10, so bringing it up would essentially force her to think about Dean being shot before she even had a chance to confront him about it personally. I do think that Beth and Dean are going to go their separate ways this season, romantically I mean. There was some unconfirmed information floating about that the show was looking to cast an actor as young Dean and I think, if that’s true, any flashbacks probably would have been as a prelude to these two ending their romantic relationship for good. If it is true, I’m even more annoyed that the last few episodes couldn’t be filmed. Anyway, the way I see it, when Beth and Dean’s romantic relationship ends as a storyline, I think it will be a decision borne of weariness rather than resentment.

Also, I just need to say that I kind of love that Dean is getting so many scenes with Au Jus and kind of love seeing him with the bird. He seems like such a proud father. I’m more invested in this storyline than I am in the four star hot tubs storyline and Gayle tbh. For now anyway.

The Hills

I’m really starting to understand what Manny meant when he said that he was most interested in what the writers are doing with Stan in this season.

As soon as Stan told Ruby that he might be able to become a cop again, I knew that he wouldn’t return. At least not immediately. There are probably two main reasons that will stop Stan from returning to the police force:

1. Disillusionment with law enforcement. In season 2, we saw Stan being confronted by a federal agent (Turner) who was threatening and absolutely willing to use underhanded tactics, such as false testimonies, to get Stan to do what he wanted.

2. Stan views himself as morally compromised and unfit to protect and serve. He knows that he’ll abuse his position and help Ruby if she needs it again.

Beth actually says to Ruby in this episode that Stan can’t be a cop again. Even though he obviously doesn’t know about this, I can really see the entire situation, and everything that has happened since they robbed Fine and Frugal, lead to a pretty tense conversation between Beth and Stan in the next episode:

Lemme tell you, I gasped when I saw this promo image for 3x07, especially given the fact that Reno has said that we’ll get to see a little of Beth and Stan interacting in this season. It’s actually one of my hiatus wishes and I feel like we’re all anticipating their scenes together. I mean, Beth and Ruby have been best friends since they were teens. Stan and Beth have probably known each other for ages and we saw some tension in the last season, stemming from Ruby’s betrayal of Beth to save Stan. Correct me if I’m wrong but I think the last time we saw these two interact was in season 1, so it’s about time we see them talk face to face.

Of course, it’s been a few episodes since we saw Stan as a security guard in the strip club, so I’m really excited to see what happens there, the introduction of Onyx and more scenes with Krystal. I think Onyx may be introduced in the upcoming episode?

It was also so good to see more of Harry again. Danny Boyd Jr is such a talented and cute little actor. Like, he’s so small!

I LOVED the scene where Ruby points out the reasons why Stan is a cop (protect and serve) at his core. He doesn’t want to be involved with their shady stuff but he always gets dragged in. I would give anything to see a scene where Stan defends Ruby so staunchly to someone because I have no doubt that he would and I need it. Grabby hands.

Mick

Give the guy a hot tub!!!!!!!

I’m telling you. I screamed when Beth blurted out “I have herpes!” Oh my god. I died. Yeah, your husband won’t be happy about it. Nor will your crime husband.

I’m also just going to reiterate that I don’t view any of what Mick’s doing as a betrayal of Rio. What Beth was trying to do in this episode was in an attempt to get the cops off their collective backs and, if he gets a free hot tub out of it, good for him.

I guess we’ll have to see where it all goes but I’m not convinced that Mick is going to betray Rio in some profound way. Hell, I’m not even convinved that Rio doesn’t know about all this.

Beth’s character progression

God, Beth did so much in this episode. She really got down in the dirt herself and dug the dirt away from the Lucy’s body, asked for some wet wipes to clean her face, while trying her best not to be sick, and then took a picture of Lucy’s face. Even thought she has gotten her hands dirty, with regards to her role in the crime world, this is the first scene where she physically gets her hand dirty when she’s not gardening.

@captainallthingspurpleme​ wrote a great short post summarising the girls’ actions in this scene and absolutely nailed it! I don’t want to reiterate because I think it’s worded a thousand times better than I could articulate it.

I think Beth’s breakdown in this episode was so earned. We so rarely see her emotionally lose it, especially not in front of other people. The fact that she’s breaking down in front of Dean of all people, from whom she has been repeatedly proven to be emotionally and intimately removed from, shows how torn up she is over everything that has happened.

Despite this, she somehow manages to process it and file it away and is back to business in her next scene with the girls, where she texts Max, takes charge and tells him to come over in a moment of decisiveness and then deals with him. In the Good Girls 3x02 thoughts post I wrote, I talked a little bit about how ruthlessly pragmatic Beth can be, her ability to process horrible things and compartmentalise and how we see this happen with everyone in her life except for Rio. We’ve seen it after she processed that Dean had cheated on her, when she processed that fact that Mary Pat was extorting them and accepting how similar they were, when she found out about Dean faking cancer and when she processes Turner’s death. She always gets back to business. I think we’ve seen it again in this episode, with regards to Lucy’s death. While I don’t think she’s dealt Lucy’s death mentally, not even a little bit, I do think she has compartmentalised it which is just so Beth, as I point it in that previous post, but it’s underscored as being even more chilling in this episode, particularly with the last shot where she appears to blend into the pitch black behind her:

I’m sure everyone has read it already but @foxmagpie​ wrote a fab post about the lighting of Beth and Rio throughout the episode and how it relates to Beth’s character development so, instead of reiterating her analysis, I’ll just leave a link to it here.

Beth and Rio

I’ve seen that people are displeased with the screentime that Rio has had, which is a totally valid opinion. I’m personally really happy with what’s been happening with his screentime. @pynkhues​ wrote an amazing post during hiatus about why she thought Rio would become a POV character and have more scenes in season 3. She hit the nail on the head! I think the writers have really delivered on this front because Rio does have his own POV now, we’ve seen him interact with his family, we’ve seen him operate outwith the girls, his boys have returned and we’ve had a glimpse into how many people he seems to ‘employ’ and, if Manny is to be believed, we are also going to find out more about the people to whome Rio answers / owes debts to. I’ve been wondering who these people are since he mentioned it. Are they larger scale crime bosses or are they corrupt big wigs in political or federal circles? Does he owe them a debt of money, potentially due to his absence while he was under Turner’s thumb, or have people in the crime world put two and two together and realised who was feeding names to the FBI? I don’t imagine that giving such information to law enforcement goes over well amongst criminals.

I’m going to start by discussing the first scene between these two, which is really weighted. It reminded me so much of 2x07, where Beth and Rio’s feelings, both generally and for each other, bubbled to the surface in a rare moment of emotional honesty.

This scene starts with Rio’s car drawing up and Mick approaching Beth. It’s hilarious to me that Rio decided to wait in the car instead of dealing with her drama (petty AF) but also really emphasises the fact that Rio’s doing his best not to give Beth an inch. He’s trying to maintain the faux gulf that has developed between them. He’s also failing because, let’s be honest, Rio didn’t have to come at all; he could have sent Mick or one of his guys just like he did in the last episode but he didn’t and there are potentially a few reasons for this:

1. It’s possible that Rio anticipated that there might be problems and that he would have to step in to handle it because...well, Beth is his problem to deal with. His rotten egg. Not Mick’s.

2. He definitely knew that Beth would be feeling the weight of Lucy’s death on her shoulders, which I’ll discuss later in this section.

3. Maybe he just wanted to see her, even if he didn’t want to / couldn’t justify speaking with her. There’s something so tragic about the fact that, even if the drop had gone smoothly, Rio would have sat in his car and just taken her in because he can’t help himself.

Also, side note here, but I honestly love that Rio was watching from his car as Beth mouthed off to Mick. It’s so funny!

It was only upon rewatching the episode that I realised it’s actually raining in this scene. When Rio approaches Beth to sit down, at the picnic bench and under the tree, they are both protected from the rain and it kind of makes it seem as though they exist in their own personal bubble, even though Mick is stanidng less than a few feet away from them. Rio clearly brought Mick in an attempt to exert a level of control over his interaction with Beth and also to non-verbally remind her, and himself, that this is just business.

I’d also like to take a minute to discuss the significance of the setting, which is a picnic bench that is not Beth’s backyard but in a separate, meaningless location.

This is the last time Beth and Rio were at a picnic bench:

Compared to this:

God, these two messes are such a mess.

The difference between the two scenes is so stark, including the obvious differences in lighting and their comfort levels with one another. Not to mention the fact that in the image from 2x08, Rio sits on the tabletop in a higher position (which makes sense because Rio retained much of the power throughout season 2, even after Beth took the pills and strong-armed him into a 50/50 deal) but they look at each other directly, unafraid, comfortable and happy. In this scene, Beth and Rio sit on more equal footing but look away from one another in opposite directions, sobered, worn and quiet.

It really highlights the fact that, in season 2, the distance between these two was being abolished but now they’re back to trying to hold one another at arm’s length. It’s clear that they’ve been through too much at each other’s hands.

When Rio sits down, there is a long, weighted silence. Rio adjusts himself on the bench and stares at his lap and waits. This is so important. When Beth eventually breaks the silence by saying (about Lucy) “She was a good person” and sniffling quietly, Rio seems completely unsurprised. He knew she was going to bring up Lucy and her death. He knew and he still let her take the lead. He repeatedly says in this scene that it’s just business and yet his actons suggest otherwise. Why sit next to her, why let her bring up Lucy when you knew she was going to? And perhaps more importantly, why not immediately discuss business? He responds by saying “she seemed like a really sweet girl”. Even though he views ordering Mick to shoot Lucy as business, he doesn’t invalidate how Beth feels about it. In fact, he’s almost gentle with her. He’s been gentle with her in this season but always as a manipulation tactic, always to make her more fearful. But in this scene, he’s honestly gentle and patient with her.

He knows she’s crying in this scene. Her voice breaks, she sniffles, she wipes at her face and he can’t look at her. I think, despite everything, Rio struggles and doesn’t know what to do when Beth is in pain.

In fact, he doesn’t look at her at all until he says “I got my own debts to pay aight” and then “Oh, you still think you get a say in this huh? Nah, see that ship sailed when you put three slugs in me”. It’s so clear that, in this scene, Rio has to summon enough anger to be able to look at the tear tracks on Beth’s face. This is followed by Rio saying “You, me, we”  while still looking at her but then his eyes deviate downwards before he says “It’s just business” because it’s dishonest. It’s such a callback to the scene in Rio’s car in 2x12. This statement also seems pretty out of place in this scene, almost as though Rio’s been thinking too long and hard about it and had to say it in order to convince himself.

Beth seems genuinely hurt (I need to write a separate post all about this) and her eyes flicker over to Mick, absorbing Rio’s non-verbal reminder of their relationship being a business one. She then looks at Rio again and we have a shot of him looking away from her again, rocking his jaw and he almost seems angrier than when he was raising his voice, probably because he knows that he slipped again, despite everything he was saying.

When the sneak peek came out before the episode aired and Rio said, “so who’s the boyfriend?”, I was really confused. I was momentarily transported to fanfic land where Beth meets someone new and Rio is jealous haha. Seriously though, the word sounds so foreign coming out of Rio’s mouth, as the words boyfriend/girlfriend have never been thrown around in conversations between these two. It made me think, and probably made a lot of other people think, about how these two compare to a conventional romantic relationship.

The music is also incredibly weighted in this scene. Loving all the piano they’re using!

Moving on to their final scene in the episode, I love that Beth knows that Rio’s going to be his usual pissy self and want an invoive and then the way he scrutinises it. Omg, it was so cute.

Also excuse me sir but did you just compare your relationship with Beth to that of a boyfriend and a girlfriend? Again, the word boyfriend sounds so foreign and new coming out of Rio’s mouth. When Beth replied  by saying, in a very feminine tone might I add, “he got over it”, I just about died. God, these two messes are using another couple’s relationship to address their own relationship. You bloody messes. I’m shaking my head. And the fact that Rio replies “they always do”, I am shaking my head again. Hahaha. Lol. Imagine these two ever being over each other. They really can’t be compared to other romantic relationships because they’re too stupid.

Also, Beth and Rio are dressed so similarly, all black, in their scenes together but particularly in this last scene.

I think that the way they are positioned is, again, so significant and obviously different to their first scene in the episode. In this final scene, Rio is once again positioned above Beth, standing while she is sitting. In the first scene, he sat down next to her, waited for her to speak and listened but he also lost control, even though Mick was there, and seemed to internally berate himself afterwards for it. Now, Mick is still there but Rio is taking extra precautions by avoiding even sitting down and keeping the interaction as short as possible.  

They are also finally facing one another and Beth has regained the power and confidence she didn’t seem to have in the first scene, even thought she isn’t delivering the full amount of money. Like I said, I think she has processed and compartmentalised Lucy’s death and that possibly has something to do with it, as well as the fact that she probably feels powerful knowing that she’s deceiving Rio.

By having Beth and Rio face one another in this scene, while wearing such similar clothing, it really depicts them as two sides of the same coin, as almost but not quite mirror images of each other, as counterparts.

#nbc good girls #beth x rio #gg season 3 #annie marks #ruby hill #stan hill #ruby x stan #dean boland #au jus

[lovemesomesurveys]

When was the last time you let someone know you truly love him/her? Today.

Do you complain when you are bored, or look for something to do? Sometimes, but usually I just still do the things I normally do. Sometimes those things just don’t cut it, though, and I end up lying around watching mindless TV or sleeping. That’s usually when I’m just extra moody or feeling extra sad and down and don’t feel like doing anything.

Do other people’s complaints ever get on your nerves? Yes. If someone is constantly complaining about everything that gets real annoying real fast. I try not to complain a lot. I keep a lot to myself or save it for a survey, ha.

Generally, what is your favorite ride at an amusement park? I used to like the water rides, you know like the Splash Mountain type rides or the ones that are like white water rafting. I like the swing ride, too. I’m not into the water rides anymore, though. That doesn’t leave much for me at most amusement parks. I love Disneyland because there’s so many rides and I can enjoy a lot of them. There’s so much for me to do. 

Who is your favorite 90’s musical artist? I love a lot of music from the 90s.

Do you think that music was better when your parents were young, or now? I enjoy various genres and songs across the decades.

How did you develop your specific taste in music? My parents, grandparents, what was popular, and discovering stuff on my own.

If you drink coffee, how do you like it (with cream, black, etc)? Flavored creamer or cream and sugar.

Did your parents sign you up for things like piano lessons and ballet? I did some piano lessons. 

What is your favorite children’s song? Nursery rhymes and songs from what I watched as a kid. I was a hardcore Barney fan haha. 

Are you good at telling jokes? I’m the worst haha.

Are you uptight, or are you easy going? I think I come off easy going to people that don’t know me well. And I can be with certain things. Like while on vacation or deciding on what to do, I’m a go with the flow kind of person and just go along for the ride so to speak. However, I’m a moody person that gets irritable, frustrated, and overwhelmed. My family wouldn’t say I’m easy going ha.

Other than gas, what do you frequently purchase at a gas station? I don’t purchase gas cause I don’t drive, but I like getting coffee or a Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink sometimes.

What is one concern you have about the present state of the world? The corona virus. Even though it’s like the flu, which is also a serious concern every year and we need to take the same precautions. I guess cause it’s like the newest thing and it’s being talked about constantly, so it’s become a big issue. 

Ten years ago, did you think that this was how the world would turn out? I’m not sure how I thought it would turn out. I don’t think I gave it much thought.

Ever think you might be better off living in a different time period? No.

Do you drink regular or diet soda? I’d go for the regular if I’m going to drink one. 

What CDs would you take with you on a road trip? I wouldn’t. I have Spotify.

Think of your favorite band? What album by them is your LEAST favorite? I don’t have just one favorite band.

Have you seen your favorite band in concert? If so, how was it? I’ve seen some of them.

Do you walk regularly? No. Or at all.

Did you take a Health class in high school? How was it? Yeah, freshman year. I liked parts of it because we talked about psychology and stuff.

If you could have the answer to one question, what question would that be? Hmm.

Do you like any bands from other countries? Yeah.

When was the last time you mailed a handwritten letter? I have no idea.

Do you still receive Christmas cards? Yeah, a couple.

Do you know anyone who is really hard to please? Yes.

What gets you through the day? I just...do. 

Do you have a Before Bed routine? I like to listen to ASMR and do surveys. Describe your stance on religion in general? I’m a Christian. 

If you found out your bf/gf was homosexual, how would you react? Well, we’d obviously have to break up. That would be hard of course. I’m assuming I was in love with them. I would be supportive and be there for him, though. 

If you are homosexual, and you find out your bf/gf is straight, then what?

Have you ever sung karaoke? What songs? Was it fun? Yeah, just for fun with friends at one of our houses. I’ve never done it in public. There’s no way in hell.

Do you study for big tests? I studied for every test.

What makes you nervous? A lot of things. Ha, that reminds me of the cute shirt I got at Disneyland with Rex from Toy Story on it that says, “I’m a nervous rex.”

Have you called anyone today? What did you talk about? No.

When was the last time you went bowling? Yearssss ago.

Do you drive around the neighborhood to look at lights around Xmas? Aww, we used to do that every year when I was a kid. We drove all over town.

Why are so many single people bitter on Valentine’s Day? They become painfully aware of how single they are because of all the lovey dovey stuff and couples everywhere and feel sad and lonely, I guess.

What holiday is a big deal for you? Christmas.

What is one tradition you hate participating in? I like the ones my family and I have.

Have you ever been sledding? No.

Do you have acne? I get a couple pimples now and then. I had it worse in high school and my early 20s.

Have you made a fool of yourself today? Not yet. The day is young, though.

Is there someone you wish you could talk to, but you’re too afraid? Not anyone currently.

Do you have a favorite cookie? Sugar.

When was the last time you did something for someone else? I helped my dad with something.

Do you let other people choose the radio stations in your car? We play Spotify in the car.

Would you say that you are an accepting and openminded person? Yeah, I think I’m pretty openminded. 

Have you ever been convinced to try something you didn’t want to do? Yes.

What happened? How did you feel about your choice? I wasn’t happy about it.

When was the last time you cheated–at anything? Uhhh. I don’t know. I’m not a cheater.

Do you play any online computer games? If so, what? Nope.

What food can you not seem to get enough of? Wingstop’s boneless garlic parm and lemon pepper wings.

When you are mad at someone, how do you show them? I become distant. If we interact and talk, I’m very short. 

Do you like to think that you are better than other people? Absolutely not. I know I’m not.

When was the last time you felt you had a reality check? Hmm.

Have you ever felt out of touch with reality? Yes.

Have you ever been sick to the point of possibly dying? No, but it definitely felt that way at times.

Have you ever had a tooth pulled? Yes, my wisdom teeth and one other.

How long do you you usually chew a stick of gum? Until the flavor runs out, which doesn’t take long.

Did you chew gum in school, even if it was against the rules? I don’t think so. I was a goody-goody.

Did you take a foreign language in school? I took Spanish all 4 years in high school.

Did you attempt to make Honor Roll? Did you make it? I was always on honor roll.

What was your favorite school project? Hmmm. There were a few I enjoyed throughout my school years.

Did you attend any school dances? Yeah, a few.

Were you in any after school clubs? Yes. Was there any teacher that made life living hell for you? No.

How about any student(s)? No.

When was the last time you felt overwhelmed? I feel that way quite often.

Which parent are you more apt to go to if you’re upset? My mom.

Do you have any coffee mugs with funny pictures/sayings? No.

Describe your favorite t-shirt? I have a pretty big collection of graphic tees, all of which are my favorite.

Describe something strange that you own? Uhhh.

What do you like to do on a friday night? I don’t do anything different.

What do you like to do on a sunday night? ^^^^

Are monday’s a drag for you? Most days feel that way.

Do you think graffiti is a valid form of artistic expression? I don’t approve of it when it vandalizes property. If it’s a mural or something like that, then yes.t 

Do you ever worry about where the world will be in 20 years? I just take things day by day, man.

Do you know what you want your funeral to be like? Well, this took a turn.

How often do you think dirty thoughts? Not often, honestly.

Can mere images turn you on? How about words? Photos, sure. And I guess words, too, in the sense that I’ve read books with sex scenes that were hot haha.

Do you give a good back massage? I’ve never given one.

Do you think that feet are disgusting? Ew yes lol.

When was the last time you screamed? I honestly have no idea.

What is your political affiliation? We’re not getting into that.

Are you registered to vote? Yes.

Are you GOING to vote? Gahhh. Everything is so bad right now. Like it’s really a big joke.

Do you think you would enjoy living in college dorms? Nooooo. 

Have you ever been to the YMCA? It’s fun to be at the YMCA. haaa. Anyway, no I haven’t.

If you ditched school, where did you go? I stayed home, ha.

Have you ever been offered drugs? What, and by who? Yeah.

Are you afraid to walk places at night if you are alone? I definitely would be. I never go anywhere alone, though. I certainly wouldn’t at night.

What’s in your school backpack? I don’t have a school backpack, I’m done with school.

Are you put off by overly social people? >> No. I’m easily exhausted by very extroverted, exuberant people, is all. Doesn’t mean I don’t like them as people. <<<< 

What do you think of people who are shy? Well, I’m very much one of those people so I can understand.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

[uncommon-etc]

5 Ways in which bad writing was the real villain of GOT 8x05

I know tempers are running high right now but after lying awake for hours being angry about the way this season is going I’ve decided to try and rationalize just what it was about this episode that left such a bitter taste in everyone’s mouths. Did I think there were obvious elements of misogyny and racism at play? Definitely. But pointing that out without concrete proof isn’t going to win any arguments and none of it would have happened if it weren’t for a total disregard for the basic principles of good storytelling so let’s dig in: 

1. Hitchcock’s Law of Suspense? What’s that? 

In creating his high-intensity thrillers (on very limited budgets and with minimal special effects compared to today’s media) Alfred Hitchcock often referenced a scene in which a bomb goes off under a table while two characters are talking. He said it was better to get 15 minutes of suspense rather than 15 seconds of surprise so rather than simply let the bomb explode for shock value why not show the bomb being planted, allow the characters to carry on with their conversation as the audience is literally yelling at them that a bomb is about to go off then you could have someone defuse it at the last minute. 

8x05 threw this out of the window in multiple ways but if you want an example of a time when Game of thrones used it to amazing effect look no further than season 6 and the blowing up of the great sept of Baelor. The music was textbook suspense building, the reactions of the characters to Cersei not being present at her trial are a genius way of building tension, the futility of lancel’s attempt to stop the wildfire exploding and then the actual climax of the scene make it one of the most memorable uses of suspense in modern television. Did we get that in this episode? Nope, we got lots of people being burned alive needlessly, several huge anti-climaxes and an over-use if CGI. 

On a lesser not Jaime’s decision to return to King’s Landing was a major wasted opportunity in the suspense stakes, had he made his motives less clear and allowed the audience to wonder whether he was returning to King’s Landing to kill Cersei or save her his final scenes would have been much more compelling. 

2. Show, don’t tell.  

Part of the reason everyone seemed so out-of-character this episode was because the writers seem to have forgotten the basic principle that instead of going round telling everyone that a character has certain qualities/motivations you should demonstrate said qualities to the viewer to win them around to to that character’s perspective here are a few examples:

When Tyrion is initially named hand of the king the writers want you to think he’s the cleverest character so rather than have other characters be like “he’s the cleverest character” they have him outsmart the likes of varys, littlefinger and maester pycelle to find out which one of them was informing on him to Cersei, it was a brilliantly well-executed scene and set him up as one of the smartest characters on the show. A+ 

When Tyrion is named hand of the queen he makes a lot of stupid decisions, we’re told that a lot of this stems from underestimating his own family yet previous seasons establish he and Cersei as having one of the most intriguing complex sibling relationships on the show by allowing the events of the plot to foster constant mistrust between them. We’re constantly told Tyrion is still one of the cleverest characters but without a hidden agenda none of his current actions make any sense in relation to those qualities. D- 

3. Proper Characterization is a marathon, not  a sprint. 

The last thing viewers/readers who have spent years with a character, understanding their motivations, qualities and back-story should feel is that the writer’s weren’t sure what to do with that character half way through the episode but that’s exactly how many viewers felt upon watching Jon and Danaerys’ arcs unfold in 8x05. Neither were given any build-up or foreshadowing to the decisions they made and it  Simultaneously ruined the 7-season character arcs of two fan-favorites. 

Jon’s been stripped of many of his more interesting qualities as a leader this season and in attempts to make him look like a loyal, brave hero all the writers have done is make him look weak. If they were setting him up to have to kill Danaerys and save the realm next episode they did an extremely poor job of it, mainly because the one scene they shared together this episode was such a confused mess. 

If the writers’ wanted Jon to be a cold and calculating political leader he occasionally appears in the books they could have made him work a lot harder at convincing Danaerys that he loves her and would do anything for her, probably going a lot further than one kind of awkward kiss.  

And if they wanted to show him genuinely being in love with her and retaining some semblance of humanity his response should have been more like “Yes I love you but we’re related and it’s weird and I’m still coming to terms with the fact my entire identity for 7 seasons has been a lie so could you maybe give me some space to process that.”

Somehow the destruction of Danaerys entire arc managed to be even worse as they’ve spent all this time building her up as a protector of the innocent and a fair ruler. They abandoned the kind of nuanced and considered writing that found her struggling to rule in Mereen (which happened to be one of her most interesting story-lines) in favor of pure shock-tactics. 

There were many better ways in which the destruction of king’s landing could have played out with very similar consequences. The bell-ringing could have been a ploy to put her armies at ease before more Lannister soldiers appeared from out of nowhere and start slaughtering them so she has no choice but to attack, the wildfire could have been a major plot-device rather than an afterthought and the burning of the red-keep could have triggered much larger explosions all over the city. So it wasn’t only out-of-character, it was badly timed and made no actual sense in relation to the plot.  

4. Don’t invalidate your own work

As a writer the last thing you should to is completely go back on your own plot developments but when a lot of viewers are asking “So why didn’t Danaerys just take Olenna’s advice and burn King’s Landing in season 7, then she’d still have three dragons and most of her army” then you’ve messed up big-time. 

Killing off fan-favorites, sending characters down dark paths, regressing on certain aspects of character-development and reminding people of the horrors of being a civilian caught up in a conflict are all valid means of storytelling and can be used very effectively given the proper time and foreshadowing to see it through but when writing one scene badly makes almost everything else you’ve written seem futile and pointless not only are you failing as a writer your failing those who have invested considerable time and energy into those characters and their story-lines/redemption arcs/perspectives.   

Which brings us onto my final point

5. Look at your story in a wider context 

Like it or not, no narrative exists in isolation and no matter how fantastical a setting it will always be the characters, their emotions and the way they relate to each other that viewers and readers are captivated by. Many of a character’s actions may become horribly dated as times (and attitudes) change, one need only watch any film about a young working class man made between 1960 and 1987 to see that treating female characters like crap used to be the norm even for well-liked protagonists but with this in mind writers still need to be conscious of the way their story will be received.

If Game of Thrones was ever supposed to be about disrupting an oppressive feudal order, giving voice to those who were robbed of it and dismantling the power structures that allowed might and ruthlessness to triumph over intelligence and common decency then it failed miserably. 

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t read a lot into these things but it seemed pretty obvious that the message was one of utter futility; never try to escape a toxic relationship, you’ll just end up going back and it’ll be the death of you, never try to be better than your insane family, you’ll just end up turning into them and if you’re born a slave don’t try to be anything else because you’ll probably still die in chains. And that’s before you even dig into how much the show is wrecking Sansa’s character arc by implying that she should be grateful for all the horrible things which happened to her rather having her consciously decide to do things differently to those who tormented her. 

So those were the biggies. There were countless other examples of sloppy writing (Qyburns scorpions being able to take down a dragon from behind and island on a boat but not being able to hit one and point blank range, yara being robbed of the chance to kill her uncle, Varys not even knowing Jon but being determined that even though all Targaryans have the potential to be nuts he’d be the better ruler) but I digress, if I’ve missed anything major message me or leave me a comment, I’m sorry that this has been such a long post but I’ve invested too much of my life into both the show and the books to allow this mess to pass for acceptable writing.   

#game of thrones #got #got spoilers #got 8x05 #got s8 #ugh #why did i even bother #asoiaf

[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

Into the Depths

The part where Hades takes Persephone to the underworld. Again. This is only an interpretation.

Part 4: Descent

Like Kiani’s mom, Erik had a lot of land but it was varying shades of grey and a tad foggy.. a little depressing and eerie even. Kiani felt the small dip in her spirit. There were no flowers, but a few spindly trees gasping for life’s sustaining breath. He had three other eye-catching cars, yet he lived alone. That one needed an explanation. Why did he need so many if it was only him?

“I like variety. It’s like having tulips, irises, and roses,” he explained stepping to the side to let her explore the vehicles at her own curious pace. She was interesting to observe. Every move she made was deliberate and intentional yet unpredictable. She peered into the window of the white McClaren 570, trying the door. With the push of a button from Erik’s keyring it unlocked and the horn beeped. She jumped, looking back to him quickly and he snorted lightly, containing his laugh. He nodded for her to continue her exploration. Opening the car door to slide into the driver’s seat, she looked like a giant child behind the wheel. He walked around to watch her step on the pedals and turn the wheel making “vroom verrrrrrrr skrrr” noises and that’s when he lost it. His eyes scrunched shut, his knees buckled and he almost hit the ground. She didn’t get the joke, but he was laughing so hard it made her laugh because he was laughing.

“I’m a teach you how to drive one of these days,” he sighed trying to calm himself, his hand on his stomach imagining her speeding in a sportscar with her fluffy baby doll dress and sandals. She clapped in excitement. “I’ve always wanted to learn to drive a car!”

“You’ll need what’s called a license to drive legally, which is a card with your face on it that you get from what’s called a DMV, but once you get it you can drive anywhere and as far as you want. I just hope you’ll take me with you.”

“I want you and mom to come with me on a drive,” she tugged lightly on his shirt.

“I’m not sure if that’s realistic,” he murmured sadly, “But I’m up for it. I’ll do whatever you want. Where are we going?”

She paused shyly as if she had no clue and was mildly ashamed. He wondered how much she knew about geography. He’d teach her that too eventually. “Race you inside,” he whispered gesturing to the large home.

Kiani had never seen so many gadgets and gizmos in her life. Her upbringing had consisted of playtime in nature and with friends, music and dancing, baking cakes and cookies, learning about the flowers she grew, old movies, puppet shows, and reading. Erik’s home was different. There were boxes called game systems in a room he called his game room along with a pool table. She’d never played pool, but she recognized the green felt and the balls from her old black and white movies.

“I know these balls,” she grinned completely unaware of the double meaning. He bit his tongue, swallowing his lips to keep from making a cheeky comment. The distance between the two of them mentally and sexually was astronomical, but also brilliant. She saw life differently through a pure and clean lens. He could spend the rest of his life wrapped up in her beautiful mind. “Your dimples are so deep!” She moved around the table to push her index fingers into them and his laugh stuttered free again. He gave her the tour of the grounds, leaving no room secret.

“Is this the bedroom you sleep in,” she asked bouncing into the room and drawing the curtains to look out through the windows. Everywhere she went in his mansion, she brought light and made herself at home. Her sandals had been left downstairs at the front door. She was barefoot, running around his house like a kid in a candy store, picking up and touching everything and asking questions. So many questions. When she went in a drawer and pulled out a bag of a white substance, he hadn’t noticed until she stuck her finger in it. She was being too still. He approached, peeping over her shoulder to catch her playing in a bag of white powder.

“Not that one,” he admonished gently, wiping her fingers off with a t-shirt. He sealed the bag and put it back. “That’s not good to play with, that’s cocaine and you definitely shouldn’t sniff or eat that.”

“Then what do you do with it,” she asked. It was a valid question. He didn’t expect the subject to breech so soon or in this manner, but he couldn’t lie to her and he couldn’t treat her like a child and shield her from the truth of life. She was twenty-four fuckin years old, it was time for her to know some real shit. She deserved to be given the chance to form her own opinions about the world and him without her mind being warped by the people she trusts.. Including him. Even if he hated it, he had to tell the truth or risk losing her trust down the road. He knew too well that trust was hard to get back once lost.

“I sell it.. It’s worth a lot of money, that’s how I paid for this house and everything in it. It’s how I met your father some years ago and he took me under his wing.”

“You know my father?! Does he ever mention me,” she asked with bright eyes and right then he wanted to find Franklin and drag him to face the eyes of Kiani for himself. He couldn’t lie to her and say yeah, he talks about you all the time. The only time Franklin ever mentioned Kiani was to remind Erik to drop off her card every year. Before Erik, it had been some other guy. He wouldn’t just do it himself. Erik didn’t understand why a father wouldn’t actively fight to see his child. Especially one as bright, loving, and kind as Kiani. The way he saw it, any child he helped to make he’d stay to raise. He could picture a future with flowers, fatass babies, and a world of pure joy with Kiani. If would hurt like fuck when she left.. If she left. But he couldn’t tell her any of this.

“He never forgets your birthday that’s for sure,” he said simply and Kiani chuckled.

In the meantime, back on Yvette's property, Ms. Smith paced in the kitchen for she knew she was in great trouble. Meron called Yvette and she was on her way. Ms. Smith accepted that she'd most likely be fired. The most precious flower in the garden had been snatched into foul hands under her watch. She grabbed the housephone and called the store again for the umpteenth time. "No, she's not back! I told you to watch her," Meron yelled angrily. "She slipped away," Ms. Smith cried. The rain began to fall and thunder roared shaking the ground. The flower shop door swung open and Yvette stormed in like a woman enraged.

"Where is my child," she cried causing a scene. She didn't care about customers or business at that point, she only cared about finding her child. She knocked over a vase, her frustration making her angry enough to hit. "I trusted you all with my precious Kiani and you lost her! Find her! NOW! Why are you standing here! MOVE!"

"I know who she's with," Meron groaned shaking her head. "Then let's go get her quickly," Yvette yelled.

"We can't. She's with Erik Stevens. We wouldn't be able to get close to him. We have no choice but to wait for her return and hope it's soon."

"Erik Ste.. You let one of Franklin's cronies take my child? You let that disgusting..." She shrieked furiously and threw another vase. "Shut it down," she yelled. "Shut it all down. Everyone out! Business is closed until I get my child back. No one gets paid. Get out!"

Meron slowly approached Yvette. Being a mother herself, she understood. With her hands up, she tried approaching Yvette.

"DON'T," Yvette yelled. They'd lost her child and she was pissed. Her innocent baby was abducted by a criminal and who knew what was happening to her! Men were disgusting, she knew it from first hand experience. She didn't want to imagine Erik putting his dirty hands on her pure Kiani. The thought made her skin crawl. She called Franklin and when he picked up, she went off in his ear.

"Listen, you deadbeat trifflin negro! Did you know your goon kidnapped my child?! Did you know? What if he touches her?!"

"Yvette. Calm down, Erik isn't a bad guy."

"So you knew! You sold my child to a known criminal!"

"Yvette. He's not like me..... But even if he did decide to get his rocks off, so what?! He's a good kid. They're both overdue. She'll be fine."

"Good kid my ass! He's a criminal! But you don't care. Of course you don't," she chuckled humorlessly, "Nope, you don't care. Well how about this. Until she gets back, this business is closed. No plant will grow. AND I'm going to make the ground around you cave. You won't be able to leave home without falling into quicksand or a mud pit! I hope you fall in! All of the places where you deal? Earthquakes. I'll split the ground if I have to. I'll kill everyone. I don't care." Thunder cracked and Meron shivered nervously.

"What? Yvette.. Come on now! You can't just-"

"It's already done. Bring me my daughter," she growled hanging up the phone. As she said, the ground changed. Franklin was indeed trapped. His business would have to be postponed indefinitely.

“Kiani… what do you know about drugs,” Erik asked anticipating Kiani's confusion. If they were going to have a chance of being together, he had to tell it all. He opened his mouth, but the words got stuck. He decided to start with geography. He talked about where they were in relation to other continents and where they were in the country. He told her about all the places he’d gone as she soaked up every detail asking questions.. So many questions. He showed her pictures on his phone, talking up a country called Wakanda in particular. She clapped when he said he’d take her there and that all she needed was a passport that he’d help her to get. Finally, he brought the conversation full circle. “Okay, drugs.. “ he said with her full attention. He pulled baggies from the drawer, setting them on the table between them. If she was gonna know, then she was gonna understand the truth. He pointed to each individual bag. “This is called cocaine. This is marijuana. This is crack which is a less refined version of the cocaine. This is heroin. All of these alter the human mind and are capable of causing hallucinations. They provide a high, which is a very good feeling. All these except the weed are dangerous to consume but highly addictive. That’s what makes your father and I able to sell so much. They get addicted and they come back. It’s against the law to have these things too. The police could put a person in jail for having just one of these bags. Only reason I'm not there is because they're afraid of me.”

“Why do you do it?”

“At first it was for the money. I bought this house and this land with the money I made from selling this stuff. Then I guess, I never stopped.”

“But you profit at the expense of others..”

“I don’t sell to nig- um, black people.. I just do business with black people…” Her expression alone cut him down.

”You have so many things here. Things I’ve certainly never seen or heard of. Could you stop now?”

He wanted badly to say no, but he couldn’t lie. Not to her. He scratched at his beard. Technically, he could very well stop. Other than rich all the drug game had ever made him was lonely. “…..I could,” he said hesitantly. Her expression told him that was exactly what she wanted him to do. Stop selling drugs. He bit his lip thinking of the hold she had on him. She was folding him so effortlessly. He’d give her anything. “Can I sell the rest of my product before I get out the game? It basically sells itself, I just need to get rid of it.”

“How much do you have left to sell?”

Suddenly his cell rang. Fonzo. He answered it and immediately felt as though fate was punching him in the dick with a brick. Kiani was working her magic somehow.  He excused himself stepping out of the room yelling in a hushed tone, “The fuck you want? I’ll call you later…. Now?… Of all fuckin days, damn… Shit! I’ll be there… I said I’d be there muhfucka.”

His boy wanted him to drop off fourty kilos of cocaíne immediately. Apparently, there was a big dog around town who was ready to cash out. Sounded hella weird, but if it was so, it was a big deal. Collecting himself, he took a deep breath. “You shut the fuck up,” he whispered to a soul who’d been taunting him ever since he’d met Kiani. She was a woman with large hoop earrings and an airbrushed tank who’d died in a domestic violence dispute. “You gone ruin that poor girl with your bullshit. Just leave her alone, please. It’s not too late,” she’d say. He’d been doing well to tune it all out, but his outburst opened the gate. The souls began to bombard him with requests. It was too much, he was completely overwhelmed. “ALL OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP,” he yelled holding his temples. The door creaked opened behind him.

“Erik, what’s wrong? Who are you talking to?” Kiani murmured softly. She looked very concerned and he instantly egretted yelling like he did. He didn’t want to scare her, but the spirits were still so LOUD and they wouldn’t stop talking or trying to get his attention. He was watching fifty two people literally crowd his space and cramp his style. There were hundreds more scattered amongst his home, roaming. He wanted to scream… again. He was close to sending them to their second death never to be heard from again. Kiani held his face in her hands, her thumbs rhythmically stroking the whiskers of the dark beard on his jaw. He lowered his head until his forehead touched hers.

“They won’t.. Leave. Me. Alone,” he muttered trying not to curse and then it all poured out of him. He told her all about his dark ability. The souls, the voices. How all he needs to do is wish it and a person will die. How he’d killed countless people in his career and could still see most of them. He even told her about the second death and how many times he’d sent hoards of people to that dark black empty plane never to be heard again. He exposed it all while she listened thoughtfully and took it in.

She looked around then, and though she didn’t see souls, she felt them. When she really focused and honed in, she felt sorrow, pain, fear, anger, regret. The sensations gripped her like a stronghold and intensified. The feeling became incredibly overwhelming. She felt nauseous and her heart began to ache. She couldn’t shake it off. She understood Erik’s frustration and his panic because she was close to screaming and it had only been a minute.

“Sunflowers. Tell me about sunflowers,” Erik said noticing her distress. She was confused at first, but the longer she rattled on about sunflowers and their seeds, the more absorbed she became in her words. Soon it was as though she was back to herself.

“Ohhh,” she sighed, “I know what you did. That was clever. How did you figure out that little trick?”

“Stumbled on it,” he shrugged. “If I didn’t turn them off somehow, I’d go crazy.” She nodded in agreement. The second death made sense to her all of a sudden. It was extreme, but it was for his sanity.

In the car, Erik flew down the road through suburbs to the congested city. In that city, there was a rough neighborhood with high crime rates and suspicious activities. It reminded him of home back during his childhood. He parked at an apartment building where there was a group of young men standing out front smoking, Hennessy in hand. “Stay here and keep the doors locked. Don’t speak to anyone and don’t leave. I’ll be right back.”

“Can I go with you? Please,” she begged. Her sparkling eyes were his kryptonite. He didn’t have a chance to deny her, it was impossible. She’d begged to come along for the ride though he’d asserted that it was dangerous. She was afraid to be in the mansion alone after what she’d felt. Plus, she didn’t want to leave him. In her words, if he was in danger, then he shouldn’t be alone either. She opened her door and stepped out following him to the trunk where he pulled the large box. She attempted to help lift it and he let her think her strength was doing something, though he held 98% of the weight easily. “Wow, thank you Kiani,” he said warmly, taking the box. She glowed, proud of her contribution. The way the sun hit her skin made him pause to take it in. He couldn’t find one thing about her that he didn’t adore.. maybe the dress, but that wasn’t her fault.

“Erik,” she waved in front of his face snapping him back into the moment, “We have to drop off the box!”

With a raise of his brows, his mind cleared and he turned to walk into the building, nodding casually at the group of young men. They nodded back, “Aight Erik.” When she turned her head, he locked the car doors with one hand on his keyring and the other hand holding the box effortlessly. He didn’t want to ruin the illusion that she’d helped. She’d looked so proud. The elevator went up to the third floor and they stepped out into a hall where someone’s loud music was dominating the airspace and Erik smelt weed. He knocked on the last door on the right and after a quiet few seconds, it swung open. Red flags went off in Erik’s mind. Typically there would be a long series of unlocks and the man inside, Fonzo, would look through the keyhole before cautiously peeping out.

“Oh wassup, E,” the man said nervously, his eyes confirming to Erik that something was very wrong. Erik put his hand on Kiani silently begging her to stay put and she reached for him, but he was firm. “Please,” he mouthed. It was obvious she’d never grown up with anything to fear. That alone was dangerous for her. Thankfully, she nodded. Stepping pass Fonzo, he drew his gun that was well hidden in his waistband and strolled into the apartment. Immediately a bullet whizzed past his head and he returned fire, not killing but disarming. The shooter wore a black ski mask and Erik aimed his gun threatening to shoot as he approached the man, snatching off his mask. “Terrence,” he groaned recognizing the skinny black man. “Damn. You too?! Didn’t I make sure you and your family was good and you got the nerve..” Erik knocked him to the ground and kicked him hard, betrayal forcing him to see scarlet red. Kiani’s fearful squeak made him turn around and Terrance climbed from the floor aiming his gun to the back of Erik’s head as Fonzo held Kiani at gunpoint. “Sorry brother,” Terrence winced holding his bruised ribs, “It’s money, it’s not personal.” Fonzo shrugged, “For me, it’s a little personal.” His finger flinched on the trigger and Kiani squeezed her eyes shut, her tears flowing. But then Fonzo’s hand began to shake and he dropped gun, falling backward to the ground, still convulsing. He seized until white froth filled his mouth while Erik mouthed to Kiani to duck. She dipped and he quickly moved his head. A bullet soared to where Kiani’s head would’ve been and Erik kneed and elbowed Terrence, taking the gun and tackling him down again. “The only reason I’m not killing you is because I know your kids and they don’t deserve that,” he whispered, “But if you ever pull this shit again.. you gone look just like him,” he said pointing the gun at Fonzo.

“Erik,” Kiani called. She looked terrified. She was still sitting in front of the dead body. He knew it was time to go. Things had already gone as bad as they could go. He’d shown his true colors and he could feel his own heart breaking. The only thing he feared was losing her in his life. She was his light and he was dimming it.

Leaving the man on the ground, he arranged the three guns in his waistband and helped Kiani to her feet, escorting her to the elevator and from the building, back into the car. He’d left the box that was full of drugs behind without a second thought.

He didn't want to take her back to her home, but he wasn't sure if she was okay with going back to his home. She was uncomfortably silent and it made him nervous. "I'm sorry," he said. She looked at him, her posture relaxing, and put her hand on his knee. "It's not your fault, Erik."

"It is my fault," he asserted. "I took you there and put you in that dangerous situation and though I would never let anything bad happen to you, you were afraid and that's not okay. You saw some things you should've never seen. That was all my fault and I'm sorry."

The car was silent for a moment before she spoke, her hand still on his knee. "Erik. You're my friend and you still need me, so I'm going to help you. But after that.. I want you to take me home."

His heart broke with those last three words and he faced his window fighting the tear that threatened to slip. He'd fucked it up, his only chance. It was his own fault. He nodded.

They ended up back at his place and Kiani led the way back into the mansion. "Hello, souls," she called uncertainly waiting to hear or feel something. She stood still and felt a slight stirring of energy, but it took Erik standing beside her and slowly touching her hand, stroking it with his thumb to feel what she felt before, the discomfort. "Let's find out what they want to tell you. I'll help you to listen," she said. Erik sighed before closing his eyes. He didn't care to listen. He didn't care about the souls, he just wanted them gone. "Try," Kiana said squeezing his hand. He opened his eyes then.

"Okay.. Fine, let's start with you. other than telling me what I need to do, what do you want," he asked the domestic violence victim. She stepped forward. "To move on, asshole! We've all been stuck here waiting. Do your fucking job."

"Ohhh you going for death number twooo," he threatened effectively shutting her up.

"Erik, what did they want," Kiani asked. He relayed the message in less crass terms. "How do they move on," she asked. He shrugged. "Well an you create a realm that isn't a deep dark pit or empty plane? One that's pretty and full of good things? Maybe instead of sending everyone to the dark place for eternity, you could send some people, the good ones, to the good place?"

He stared at her for a moment trying to think of a way to tell her no. He'd have to create a new place in his mind and then screen each soul to determine where it should go. It sounded like more work than it was worth. He then he looked at her and imagined her playing in her field of flowers. Grassy hills, bright colors, sun, woodland animals.. he packaged it all into a beautiful world within his mind and then he opened it up to the domestic violence victim. Excitedly, she ran into it and disappeared. One down. Kiani smiled and he immediately knew that she felt it when someone entered that dream world. It was like she was linked to it. She called this new beautiful world Elysium. One by one, Erik looked at the souls and compartmentalized them. Selfish, evil betrayers and bad people he'd send to the second death. Kind victims and good hearted people went into the paradise. With Kiani's help with the judgments the room dwindled from hundreds to approximately forty souls. Erik felt so much lighter. He was so happy and appreciative.

“Erik, it's time," she said, her face serious. "I wanna go home. I miss it already. I'm not sure if I'm cut out for all of this," she gestured all around. The death she witnessed up close was what did it, he knew it, but it would be insensitive to argue and say it wasn't a common occurrence. He was death incarnate afterall. He had to accept that she was ready to go. Possibly forever. ”Erik, it's not you. You're great. It's everything else. I just need to be home and think," she said grabbing both of his hands. It was true. She valued him. He was the only one in her life who didn't treat her like a child. She craved that and she really did like him. He nodded and before good sense could stop him, he kissed her. Her lips were soft like the flowers she grew and her eyelids floated shut. He kept his eyes open not wanting to miss a moment. It was gentle yet fervent, light yet needy, short yet lasting.

Immediately, Kiani knew that what she'd experienced, she wanted more of. There was no going back now, she'd tasted the forbidden fruit and it was sweet. Was this what her mother and Ms. Smith had been hiding from her? When he pulled away, she grabbed his face planting her lips firmly back onto his. His eyes widened in shock, but he quickly wrapped his strong arms around her and lifted her, carrying her carefully back up the stairs and into his bedroom. The light still poured in. He laid her on her back and quickly found the dried flower from his father's grave that he kept pressed into his father's old journal.

"Touch this."

Kiani's touch brought it to life and he dove onto the bed kissing her neck. The more he kissed her, the brighter the rose became. A single white rose. It multiplied into two. He sucked her neck and two turned to four, eight, sixteen. He killed a few by landing on them as he crawled to lift her dress and pull down her panties. She was very confused by his actions, watching him strangely, but he knew exactly what he was doing. As he lowered his head to kiss, suck, and lick on her lower lips, he was giving her something she could never forget or go backwards from. She would never be the same again. She felt that deep within. The flowers began to cover the bed and overflow as she gasped, her moans forming the notes of his favorite song. When she came, she wore a face of confusion mixed with pleasure and concern.

"How do you feel? Did you like that," he asked watching her emotions swirl and finally land on pure pleasure. She smiled.

@inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @bidibidibombaclaat  @priya212

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Previous Parts

#erik killmonger #erik killmonger imagine #erik killmonger imagines #original #erik stevens #erik stevens au #killmonger #erik killmonger fanfiction #erik killmonger smut #killmonger smut #killmonger imagine #hades #hades and persephone

[insomnia-productions]

For the fanfiction ask! 1, 2, 4, 11, 12, 17, 18, 24, 28, 29, 30, 38, 44, and one question of your choice. I wrote a lot because personally I love receiving these, but feel free to answer as many as you like!

SO MANY AHHHH

Thank you for these! I’ve literally been waiting all week to answer. 

1: How old were you when you started writing fan fiction? 

I think I must have been 13, nearly 14, when I wrote my first actual fic. It was a pair of fics, actually, halfway-shippy drabbles about Matt and Mello from Death Note, and they were published on DeviantART. This ask brought back a lot of cringe. 

2: What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favorite?

This has kind of changed over the years. First I wrote nothing but mikayuu (Owari no Seraph), then nothing but sarumi (K-Project), and then I was super into Bungou Stray Dogs. I’ve written a few things for Harry Potter and Mo Dao Zu Shi that I’m quite proud of. Other stuff, too, here and there. 

But, if I had to pick a favorite... I always come back to soukoku and Bungou Stray Dogs. Dazai and Chuuya are my air. 

4: What is your favorite genre to write for? 

Fluff and comedy! Well, for fanfiction, at least - these characters have already been through so much, you know? But for my own stories... it varies. I do love to write humorous stories, but I do also write a healthy amount of sad stuff. It’s pretty much Pure Angst or Pure Comedy, there’s no in between. 

11: Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you received after posting it? 

Nope. I’ve edited tags a few times, but never the story itself. That said, I haven't received a lot of criticism - at least, not genuine or constructive criticism. Just people hating on characters and ships. And one person vaguely commenting that I had fucked one thing up, but then refusing to tell me. If that person is somehow out there reading this... you fucked me up, man. You fucked me up. 

12: Who is your favorite character to write for? Why? 

I really love writing Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling, mostly because I’m so attached to them. And I like writing Chuuya, because one of my best friends is like Dazai in terms of annoyingness (her name is even Dazai in my phone and sometimes I forget her real name), so I like to offload my frustrations with her through Chuuya’s pain. 

17: Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on. 

This is actually the first line of the novella I’m writing! 

It’s unusual for a Villain to pen a memoir, not in the least because most of them die before they can.

It’s a quest story about two twin brothers - one a Hero, one an aspiring Villain - who try to rebuild their frayed relationship when they are pushed together to face an old enemy. 

24: How do you feel about writing smut? 

Yeah, nope. I don’t do smut. I don't even read smut. Listen, the first time I wrote a kiss, I was 14 or 15, and it took me 15 minutes. I’m not even exaggerating. I was so embarrassed. All I wrote was “their lips met”. That was it. That was the whole scene. I just couldn't handle it. Even now, I feel embarrassed. And smut is just a big no for me. 

29: Do you have a story you wish got more love?

Yes! Yes!!! I’m just gonna link them here, so if anyone is scrolling,,, please,,, read them,,, 

Life Is Too Short For So Much Sorrow -- Jiang Cheng & Jin Ling drabbles (Mo Dao Zu Shi)

14 Years, 5 Months, 19 Days -- five times Nicaise felt empty, and one time he was whole (Captive Prince)

Veni Vidi Vici -- in the summer before 5th year, a runaway Draco and temporary runaway Harry embark on a quest to find a magic well that can change lives

Also MY ORIGINAL WORKS PLEASE GUYS I NEED VALIDATION

30: Do you have a story that receives a lot of love that you roll your eyes at?

Yep. ‘How To Fall In Love With Your Enemy’ is my most popular fic, a soulmate au for Katsudeku (BNHA). I worked hard on it and I’m proud of it, but like... it’s not my best one, compared to others. 

38: If you could collaborate with another person on here for a fic, who would it be? 

@fandompandabear we never finished that mikayuu Hunger Games AU, did we? 

44: What is the last line you wrote? 

The last thing I wrote was a poem, actually, so I’m just gonna put the last stanza, which is technically one sentence. 

This is how I pretend

Not to love you, and when you smile back

I can’t work out if I adore

You or if I just want you

To walk away, so I can tell myself

That you could never love me

Too.

Fun story, I wrote this about my crush (of 3 years, mind you) while sitting next to and chatting with him. I like to live dangerously. 

Again, thank you so so much for these!! 

[fanfictionlive]

When Effort Pays Off

To preface this, I've struggled with self-esteem and the whole Impostor Syndrome shenanigans for a while. Still do, to an extent, depending on situations. Writing is one of those situations.

I've been writing/writing fanfic for over half of my life, and I've always felt self-conscious of my writing since I'm a perfectionist, but always wanting to share them since I enjoy entertaining people. Might seem contradictory since I'm also introverted and shy, but idk, there's always something about making other people happy with things I do that gives me that dopamine rush lol. Don't mind me, just a walking pile of contradictions ambling through life like everyone else lol

Anyway, I want to say that my current WIP is probably one of my most ambitious projects I've ever done in my writing hobby (I probably should've just used that brainpower for an original novel, but ehhhhh, eventually). On the writer's side of things, it's testing and pushing all my capabilities for storytelling.

Alternating third-person POVs, actually following a general outline from beginning to end, writing in a genre I've never written before, characterizing characters that have broken my brain trying to get into their shoes to figure out how to write their intents, balancing character arcs with plot arcs with foreshadowing, etc.

Well, it wasn't so bad until I got to writing and posting the most recent chapter. And MAN, did the insecurity and Impostor Syndrome hit me like a ton of bricks. Want to know what my biggest concerns were? Probably not, but I'm going to tell you anyway lol.

I felt like no matter how much I tried, the emotional beats I wanted out of the chapter weren't hitting with the effects that I intended. I didn't feel like my writing style was working or interesting or even made sense. I didn't feel like the underlying themes and questions I wanted to provoke out of the readers that try to read between the lines were coming across. To top it all off, this chapter was one of those big "I'm writing this fic because of THIS scene right here." I wanted it to be special, but I had to face the possibility that people wouldn't like it.

If that were the end, I would've just labelled this as venting, but nope.

Those very things that I am stressed about? Every single one of them was touched on by different commenters. Someone quoting the dialogue that I agonized over and loved/hated so much it lived rent-free in my brain for TOO LONG. Someone pointing out how I write descriptions (which I feel like is my greatest downfall in my writing) and that they like how I go about it. Someone actually asking all the thematic questions that I wanted to explore with this story.

I'm shocked. Overjoyed. My writing was working and readers liked it. All that effort trying to write the stupid chapter paid off, and I honestly can't express how relieved and validated I feel about my writing skills. I don't feel like I'm that spectacular still, but if I'm able to still entertain while also test myself to the extreme on my writing ability...

It's... hard to express what emotion I'm feeling. Only thing I'm sure about is that they're all positive ones.

TL;DR - Did a thing to write the best chapter I could despite the struggle. Feared that I lost readers. Instead, struggle paid off and had some readers comment in ways I hoped they would.

submitted by /u/titaniumPsychologist [link] [comments] from FanFiction: Where Magical Ponies battle Imperial Titans https://ift.tt/Yq5oLDI

#fan fiction #writing #fanfiction #tv show #series #movie #fan #write

[runningwitches]

A Comforting Hug (Tim Drake x Platonic!Reader)

Summary: The reader’s father returns after years of abuse and abandoning her family. Instead of dealing with their shit, she turns to her best friend Tim for comfort. 

Request?: Nope

Word Count: 1495

A/N: This was definitely based off of a true story and I definitely wrote it in an hour while sobbing my eyes out and wishing I had someone that cared about me because my emotionally abusive father returned and my mom is too self-invested and naive to realize that my brothers and I don’t want him in our lives. 

Warnings: Mentions of emotional abuse, deadbeat dad?, its completely unedited, super self-insert-y. It’s just really bad just fyi

I’m so tired of this. He can’t keep getting away with stuff like that. It’s not fair to me and it’s not fair to my brothers. We spent years living with his crazy ass but when he left, it still hurt. Now he comes back, back into our lives, after we finally thought we got rid of him. And mom? She just lets him! It’s like he never cheated on her, it’s like he never left her behind, it’s like he didn’t spend years emotionally abusing her children. It’s so god damn frustrating. But this, This was the last straw.

I’m the youngest of three kids. My two older brothers are 10 and 6 years older than me, and I’m currently 16 years old. The middle brother, Alex, turned 22 three days ago. Five days ago our father popped back into our life for a ‘visit.’ As if any of us wanted to see him. The only ones in this family that still like him are my mom and my oldest brother, and both of them can only barely handle his crap. It was bad enough when my father threw a temper tantrum (Yes, my adult father threw a temper tantrum). My oldest brother, John, didn’t let my father use his pass to the zoo when my mother wanted to go, because he already had plans to go to the zoo that same day. It wasn’t my father’s pass, and he had never paid for it, yet here he was, throwing a fit -in public may I add- about it. It was completely unreasonable.

But now? Now he’s crossed the line. My mother had planned a birthday dinner for Alex. It was supposed to be a nice family gathering. Me, my mom, John, Alex, and Alex’s girlfriend, Sophia. But she decided that it wouldn’t be complete without our father (despite the fact that out of the three of us, Alex was the one with the most issues with him and that he has made it completely clear that he will not see him). Then she straight up lied to his face saying that our father wasn’t coming. When I confirmed that he was, indeed, planning on joining us to our brother’s birthday dinner, Alex understandably said he wasn’t planning on coming anymore. My mother decided that his feelings weren’t valid. She decided the only feelings that mattered in the family were those of the parents. So she went off on him (via text) about how ungrateful he is and that he should be more considerate of the feelings of others. Needless to say, Alex and I were mad. John was a bit more lenient with our father, though I suppose that’s because his personality is more similar, so he went to pick up our mom (who was trying to escape from our father who was throwing another temper tantrum). Alex and I both knew what was going to come once she got home. An onslaught of the most aggressive passive aggression you would ever see.

So we did the only thing we could do. We left. We got changed and he drove me to my best friend’s house before heading to Sophia’s.

My best friend. Tim, Tim Drake. You’ve probably heard of him, the adopted son of Bruce Wayne. I’ve known him forever. I was there for him when his parents never were. When they spent their time travelling, instead of with their son. I was there helping him document pictures of Batman, Robin, and Nightwing. I was the first (and only) to know when he became Robin.  I was there for him when his parents were poisoned, when his mother died. I was there for him when he was banned from being Robin by his father. I was there for him when his father died. And in return he was there for me. He was there for me when my parents forgot to pick me up from school (their lack of money not allowing budget for a nanny). He was there when they emotionally abused me, whether it was telling me I wasn’t good enough, forcing me into situations I wasn’t comfortable in, or turning the situation around and attempting to play the victim. He always reassured me that it wasn’t my fault. He was there for me when my father left. When I felt awful that I was happy he was gone, but also when I was sad that our family wasn’t enough for him. We were two halves of the same whole. So when my life began to fall apart upon my father’s return. When my life began to feel like a shitshow despite the fact that I had been truly happy for the first time ever this past year. I knew I could turn to Tim.

I walked up to the door of Wayne Manor. Though I usually told Tim before came over, I knew most of his family (especially Alfred) would be understanding of me just showing up. So I knocked on the door.

Alfred opened the door with a smile on his face, “Miss (Y/N). What a nice surprise. Are you here to see Master Tim?”

I thought for a second before deciding, “I-I um, I was actually wondering if I would be able to stay over for a day or two. There’s just some-uh-stuff going on at home that I’d rather not be there for right now,” I told him. My voice was shy and it was clear that he noticed I was nervous to ask. Not only was this one of the first times I’ve been over unprompted, it would also be the first time staying over when I wasn’t invited. Maybe they were busy and didn’t have time for me. But it was too late, I couldn’t take it back. 

Alfred’s response was immediate, which was immensely reassuring. “Of course Miss (Y/N)! You’re always welcome in our home,” Alfred told me with a soft smile, avoiding the topic of what happened at my house. He always knew the right thing to say, and so he was right in assuming I didn’t wish to talk about it. “Though I see you don’t have your bag, I’m sure Master Tim or Master Damian wouldn’t mind sharing some clothing with you.”

“Thank you so much Alfred.”

“Here, sit down, I’ll grab you something to eat and then go prepare your room for the night.”

“Really, thank you.”

“It’s truly not a big deal Miss (Y/N). Like I said, you are always welcome here.” He walked away from me into the kitchen and brought out a plate of (Y/F/F). Years of spending time with Tim at the manor means Alfred knows me almost as well as Tim does, so seeing my favorite food on the plate wasn’t a surprise. Especially because Alfred knew I was feeling down. I gave him a small, but genuine, smile and dug in as he went to prepare a room for the night. As he walked up the stairs I heard him say something to someone and soon enough Tim was sitting next to me. He knew something was wrong the instant he saw that I was picking at my food, only taking small bites occasionally. Usually I would be stuffing my face full of Alfred’s amazing cooking, especially when he made (Y/F/F).

I set my fork down, sighing and leaned my head on Tim’s shoulder. He just picked me up, carried me to the living room, placed me on the couch, and then settled comfortably next to me. He wrapped me in a hug and I shoved my face into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent and trying not to cry. I didn’t even have to say anything for Tim to know the whole story. Not only did he already know my father was in town, but he was also already one of the top detectives in Gotham at the age of 17.

We sat there in the living room of the Manor in each other’s embrace for what felt like hours but was probably more accurately a few minutes. A few stray tears rolled down my cheeks as he whispered that everything would be okay and stroked my hair. We had mastered this form over the many years we had known each other, each of us needing comfort from our unfortunate situations more often than a child probably should.

We didn’t even notice as the rest of the family returned from their outing, they knew we were each other’s rocks and it wasn’t the first time any of them had seen us like that. They simply observed for a few moments, taking in the scene before moving on with their day. As it got later he carried me into his room, gave me some clothes to change into, and returned to our comforting position.

Eventually we fell asleep wrapped up in each other.

#tim drake x reader #robin x reader #red robin x reader #reader insert #batfam x reader #dc #batman universe

[thoughtfulpaperback]

Television and White People problems I cant relate to

I might make people mad, but I am just gonna say it. A good half the time I cannot relate to the problems and motivations of white people on TV. But I am going to list some scenarios that I cannot relate to

1. Unaffectionate Parents/parents that arent around much/parents who are strict = bad parents who ruin thier children

Listen purposefully withholding affection from your child as a manipulation tactic does equal bad parent. Never allowing your child to make meaningful connections outside of the home as a way to control them = abusive parent. But like shows like Gilmore Girls have the main character and side characters acting as if she has been horribly scarred by thier parents not letting them listen to rock or run around and dirtying an expensive dress. Or they excuse or justify a characters bad behavior because thier parents aren't around (usually these are rich characters).

I am a working class Latina and I always felt this was total BS. My grandparents were not affectionate people. There were no hugs or I love yous after the age of 5. Both worked long days and I was constantly left in charge of my siblings. I wasnt allowed to wear makeup until after I was 15 (I didnt start wearing it until I was 18) and when I did my grandpa constantly made comments like "what do you have on you face?" "Only ugly women have to wear makeup!" "If God wanted your nails to change color every month he would have made it so they could without that junk (nail polish)!". I wasnt allowed to listen to rap music. If my grandma bought me an outfit I wasnt allowed to do anything to get it dirty

I wasnt allowed to stay the night at a friends house until I was in high school and even then my grandparents preferred people stayed the night at our house versus me going to someone elses.

Guess what...I am fine. I never was rebellious. I knew they loved me. I knew they cared. I wasnt a teen parent. I can tell people I love them. I am affectionate with people I am close to. I graduated college. I was a good, friendly, well adjusted kid. All of my Latina friends were too. But like every other white "bad kid" or "jerk" is that way because of thier parents supposed lack of interest.

Listen I get the validity of loneliness or even anger at feeling as if your parents are not interested in you. I am just saying it is something that is not in my experience, so I have a hard time relating to it even though it is a very common troupe.

2. Cutting out family members/estranged family.

Ok so my Latina self has never, ever understood this movie plotline. Like I have extended family who may not even be related to me that are big idiots, which everyone recognizes, but I still see them at all the family events because it is rude not to invite them when they are family. Like we do not stand physically abusive people in my family. But that is what you have to be in order to be cut off from us. Stupid? A Mooch? Toxic? Prejudiced? A very annoying drunk? All those things are okay warrant toleration because you are family. And again this is extended family. In movies or shows where the child has cut off the parents from thier life or that make snide remarks or talk back to them...OMG not only can I not relate but I cannot even process.

Again I am not saying that people should have to tolerate any behavior which causes them anxiety or makes them uncomfortable. But like the idea of ever cutting out my grandparents or even my mother completely out of my life is unimaginable. Right not agree with the things they do or say, and I may not make an effort to reach out to my mom, but I will never purposefully avoid or talk bad about them to any one. And believe me my mom is pretty toxic but I would never hinder her ability to reach me if she needs me. I will no longer go out of my way to please her, but moving away having children and not letting her be part of thier lives. Nope not doing it.

Most of my latino friends live in multi-generational homes (grandparent, great-parents, parents, self and thier children). So just the idea that your grandparents or parents live in a different home than you was hard enough to wrap my mind around while watching TV. The idea that you moved across the country to get away from your family unimaginable.

Again not condemning any one who does that just explaining why minded just cant relate.

3. 18=Adult and going crazy

I am 25 (I think, I forget) years old. I am a virgin, I didnt have a sip of alcohol until I was 23 or right when I turned 24 (again I forget). I've never had a boyfriend. I have only been on like 3 dates with 1 person. I still ask my grandparents permission to go places, I tell them my plans and who I am with. I do this unprompted. My grandparents dont demand that I do it. I just do.

Dont get the wrong idea, I have had lots of fun. I lived on the dorms as a college freshman, I made lots of friends and was in multiple clubs, played intramural sports, worked as an activities coordinator at the college and hung out with friends. I've gone to concerts, I've traveled to multiple countries and studied abroad. I vacation with friends.

Like I could never relate to teenagers or college kids on television as a teen and I still can't as an adult. Dont get me wrong freshman year of college I met the Wild kids all testing thier boundaries and exploring thier sexuality now that they were out of the house.

But that just wasnt me. I didnt feel the need to. I didnt want to drink (my house wasnt anti alcohol or anything like that). I didnt want to experience getting drunk or trying drugs. I didnt have the need or urge to do anything sexual with anyone. It wasnt because I was ashamed of my body, saving myself for marriage, or emotionally scarred by my grandparents about the subject. I just didnt want to. My grandma always tells people when they ask her how she raised me to be such a good kid (although thinking on it I should resent being called a kid at age 25) that my brother and just came out perfect or the closest thing to perfect. Like I am not saying that to claim that I am, but just to give y'all the idea of how non wild I am.

18 was a wierd age for me. I was exploring mostly myself as an individual seperate from my family. Figuring out what I liked because when you live with so many people you kind of blend interests. Sometimes I dont know if I actually like an activities that I frequently do or if I frequently do it because one of my siblings likes it.

Making friends outside of family. I always had friends growing up but my closest friends were my siblings and cousins. College was the beginning of meeting people from different backgrounds and becoming friends based on common interests rather than out of convenience. A great transition to my next unrelateable troupe.

3. Peer Pressure and letting bullies get away with it.

So like for the longest time, TV made it seem like it was hard to stand up to bullies, like it was Big deal and hard decision to stand up for someone else. Like to an extent some more recent shows still do it (Glee for one). And I just cant relate.

I never cared what other kids thought of me. I was always secure in who I was and happy with myself. While I wanted to please my family, i never felt pressured to please anyone else to to follow the mass consensus on what is cool or not. I also could never stand a bully.

In elementary school I flipped over my shared desk when my desk mate called the new girl (who was on medications that made her fall asleep during class a re***d) and told him that if him and the entire class that if they have a problem with her then they can fight me and I am obviously not kidding. (My very first outburst and threat of violence). In the 7th grade a couple of girls were harassing a girl in the bathroom for telling thier secrets. Even though it wasnt any of my business and these girls were known for actually fighting other girls, I still told them that they were being stupid and to leave her alone. Which earned me a shove against the wall and a "you want to fight me?". To which I stupidly responded "I am not afraid of you" which was a huge lie.

My childhood friends who werent related to me were usually the people who nobody wanted to be friends with. Mostly kids werent considered "able" or were too "annoying". I hated the idea of people being shunned because they werent "able" or because they didnt have a concept of volume control, personal space, or the ability to read a room) or because we were related. I straight up yelled at a guy in the middle school lunch room because he was saying that I was so nice for hanging out with the special kids especialky Bob (not his real name) because everyone hated him for not being able to shut up or go away. Bob has asperger's syndrome or was adhd I honestly dont remember. He had an assigned aid and would get too close to people and once he started talking he wouldnt stop so classes were hard for him and making friends was hard to.

In 9th grade band class I stood up and called out the drum section for laughing and calling the drum majors (a Male and a female) a f*g, ugly crack baby, and other slurs while they were conducting and then told the substitute that I refused to continue playing until they were sent to the principles and dealt with accordingly. I then walked out and put my instrument away very loudly in front of the band and pulled a chair up behind the drum majors so I could glare the entire class down while they played.

In 10th grade a made a huge scene when a guy thought he'd be cute by saying that the only reason my friends and i were doing well in Spanish class was because we were "sucking mr.------ balls". I stood up and shredded into him about how that accusation was basically calling mr.----- a pedophile and that it showed how much of a sexist pig he was that he has to basically accuse successful ladies of having to used sex to be successful because that is easier for his ego than admitting his laziness inattentiveness, and bad attitude are the reason he is failing a class about his first Language.

I also yelled at a girl in the middle of the school grounds for saying there should be a holocaust for gay people.

Apparently I am the queen of making a scene. I list these things not a bragging thing, but because they werent hard for me. Most of were just reactive. I never understood why TV made doing the right thing seem like it was so hard and that you were being a freaking martyr.

I was never bullied. I knew that kids didnt like me but no one every messed with me or harrassed me the way they did other people. Doing the right thing did not make my life harder. Standing up for people wasnt some herculean task that took like two days of thinking and emotional preparation. The "majority" of people allowing mean spirited people to harrassed others never swayed me to let it go. Indifference was never an option in my mind.

So I was always really frustrated by characters who didnt automatically help a person who was being harrased. It is my least favorite TV or movie plotline. And again I can't relate.

Again this isnt to bash on anyone or to suggest that making a scene or putting yourself at risk are the only ways of helping others and standing up for others.

#personal #televison troupes

[thesunnyshow]

Name: hi, i am nyx  Age: 20 years old Writing Blog URL(s): jungcity.tumblr.com | v-asl.tumblr.com 

Nationality: filipino Languages: english, filipino Star Sign: pisces! MBTI: infp-t Favorite color: white accentuated by silver Favorite food: it’s sweet and spicy chicken garlic!! Favorite movie: hmmm, it’s prolly flipped because that movie was so cute :,)  Favorite ice cream flavor: rocky road!! Favorite animal: it’s gonna be cats!! although i love lions so much because of narnia :,( Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? coffee :,) Go-to karaoke song: i don’t sing agskh the world would end if i would 

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? i think it’s me writing about jaehyun??? since he’s the king of fanfiction, especially in ncity nowadays. 

What fandom(s) do you write for?  nct + wayv

When did you post your first piece? three days ago!! that would be august 4 i guess???

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? i don’t really much write fluff since i don’t have any idea how to write a good fluff!! :( this has been an issue every time i write some au’s. so im always ending up writing and focusing more on angst. it’s the genre i know best. well, crack… it’s hard to make the readers laugh when you can’t even make their tooth ache from sweetness with your fluffy writings. :( smut… i don’t write smut explicitly any more. i’m more on the suggestive side rn. 

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc  i write OC’s especially when im writing a series!! to diversify my writing. but i usually am on the x reader side. ships? not that much. 

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? uhm, back in 2017, i was searching for some website where i could publish my works. ive always been a tumblr-girl since i am that wanna-be-aesthetic kinda person :D then i had found that i could write and publish on tumblr so yeah that’s pretty much why i am on this app rn

What inspires you to write?  ooh, music has been a great help for sure!! whenever i don’t feel like writing something, i always listen to music and the idea would flow like a river. classic poems helps, too. :)

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?  supernatural!au’s, fantasy!au, medieval!au. i feel like it’s easier to write something out of pure fantasy. i have a hard time writing modern!au’s since i lack the humor and the knowledge for modern slangs. 

What do you hope your readers take away from your work?  ooh, i always always always am careful with the way that i craft all my works. i try to feel what my characters feel to give them a certain validation. i put my shoes on the scenarios i have in mind even though i haven’t yet experienced everything ive written. and i do love writing strong female characters, whether it’s oc’s or female readers. that’s my main priority whenever i write. and i want them to know that girls could do just as much everything boys could. women are powerful. 

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?  i read a lot to get back on my foot. i also try to re-read my past works so i’d be inspired to better my writing on my current draft.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?  my favorite work is the one i’m still writing rn, which is entitled 505. it’s a hendery fic in which he is a bandit and the female reader is a sacristan. it’s my fave since i relate myself so much to the female reader. :) my most successful one is the childhood best friends!au taeyong x female reader. it’s about to reach 600+ notes i guess? and im so grateful of all the feedbacks i got from it. 

Who is your favorite person to write about?  it’s jaehyun and hendery :) 

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose?  character wise, perhaps. since you already have a face value in fanfiction, but in an original prose, you would have to craft everything from 0. 

What do you think makes a good story?  a good story is something that doesn’t romanticize the bad things going on in the world. a good story is something that is emphatic to the hardships of others. a good story is something that gives comfort to those who are in the dark. a good story is something that boosts the hearts of the readers and makes them feel things!! 

What is your writing process like?  first, i think of a plot! (this happens oftentimes when im washing the dishes) when i have the plot, i think of the ending. when i have the ending, it’s time for me to device a fitting title. and the plot would develop from then on. 

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?  i don’t think so… this is scary. since some people think of fanfics as delusional works from delusional authors. it’s kinda sad. 

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?  i love love love enemies-to-lovers trope!! one that i couldn’t stand and do my best to not read is probably… hmm… no, i love all tropes!! i just love e-t-l most!

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?  it means a ton. since it could really boosts me up. heavy sigh. it’s the best thing when you write something— the feedbacks. even though it’s a simple reblog with the ‘#ATKSHSKSHSKAHAKSGAHGEGSJA’ or ‘#myfave’. i would smile like an idiot whenever i read it.

Dream job (whether you have a job or not)? i want to be a successful writer someday!

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? teleportation!! 

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose?  ancient greek + victorian era

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?  yes!! im so hell deep in indecision right now so i want to restart to make everything right

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken?  100 chicken-sized horses!!

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been?  enemies-to-lovers trope agsksj LOL

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures?  YES!!! perhaps they are lurking somewhere here on earth and we don’t know it yet ;)

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?  oh… i don’t really know what to write. i don’t give much attention to my personal details agsksj

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?  yes!! ugh, there’s this recent issue wherein stan twt called fanfic writers as freaks. and it broke my heart. i mean, most fanfic writers get inspirations from their idols and that shouldn’t be a bad thing. we aren’t delusionals as one might think. we are simply doing our craft. 

Do you think art can be a medium for change?  yes!! our country’s hero ‘jose rizal’ had somehow stirred the nationality of the people back in the old days because of his writings. i do believe that art changes things!! it has the ability to pierce the heart of the people.  

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?  yes. i feel this whenever im writing smut. i mean, let’s be real, your works would do better once you’ve included some steamy smut scenes in it. when i was writing my first fanfic after three years, i didn’t think that i’d ever include smut. but the fear of not getting feedbacks crept up in me, so i forced myself to write some sexy scenes. i know that’s like… weird. but i’m trying not to dwell on feedbacks any longer. and i also have decided not to write explicit smut anymore. honestly, i feel better now that i don’t force myself to do something that i think would please others rather than me.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?  uhm, as far as i can remember, nope— still hasn’t felt that way. :)

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?  yes!! my best friends irl knows about it. my sister knows. my parents are also aware of my passion in writing, and they do know that i write. but where and what, that remains obscured from them :D 

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?  that it’s okay to be vulnerable. it’s okay to make mistakes. it’s okay to fail sometimes. it’s okay to feel things. because like a good book, there is always a character development and you have the pen to write your own version of happy endings. 

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?  i’ve been there: the scared and conscious part. but one thing i would say is, you have to dare yourself!! you won’t know how your writing would have impacted so many lives and touch the hearts of people if you won’t grab your pen or your gadget and start your draft. 

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?  nope, there aren’t. the community has been lovely to me ever since i started writing. :,)

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? yes!! oh my god. i’d like to take this opportunity to thank my mutuals who’s done me nothing but kindness— @legendnct (hannah), whoo!! you know how much i love you, right? thank you for always being there to listen to me. :) @cloudysuh des, since day one you’ve supported me. i couldn’t ask for more. thank you for the never-ending praises, keyboard smashes, for the tags, and for always boosting me up. @bohoes georgie, you know i love you. since 2017 you’ve been with me— praising my works and supporting me. thank you. @cherr-e cherry!! thank you!! for teaching me how to better my writing. i hope endless happiness for u and please take care. @writermoon hello my babe!! thank you so much for reading my works with such vivid imaginations. i love you. @jaeyongf amy!! the bestest person :,) thank you for always leaving me feedbacks!! thank you for being kind to me. thank you for always supporting me. i love you guys so much and let’s be mutuals for a long time!! 

Pick a quote to end your interview with: 

“If the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends.” — Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë

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