#the last time i did one of these i somehow used ms paint in the process and its a fucking miracle it became anything coherant

[sea-buns]

captioners you are so valid

#dimension 20 #d20 #mentopolis #brennan lee mulligan #i curse d20 for making me realize idk how the fuck ppl edit without paying for editing software #the last time i did one of these i somehow used ms paint in the process and its a fucking miracle it became anything coherant #this was created via google photos on my phone so maybe we're getting somewhere idfk someone send help #this took so long I COULD HAVE FINISHED THE EP BY NOW. ashamed to be the age i am but so inept at technology #lowkey hate that my phone has more photo editing features than my laptop smh

[aurumacadicus]

I finished binging Miss Fisher again:

"So why did you fall out with Howard, anyway?" Steve asked, slouching down in his seat as the car inched up the driveway. He hadn't asked before, and as he'd watched Peggy's hands tighten on the steering wheel as they passed through the gates to the Stark mansion, it finally occurred to him to wonder why he wasn't still involved with SHIELD after being one of the founders of SSR.

Peggy worked her jaw delicately. "We had a disagreement about values," she finally said.

"I can't imagine why," Steve muttered, and relaxed a little when the corner of Peggy's mouth curled up.

"Well, he'll surely enjoy me coming to him for help," Peggy added with a sigh, pulling to a stop. She took a moment to take a deep, fortifying breath, then let it back out slowly, giving Steve a glance out of the side of her eye. "And that I'm bringing you."

"I can thank him for looking for me so long," Steve agreed, and turned to unfold himself out of the car as Peggy did the same. Even though she was in her sixties, she was still sprier than he was; cars had gotten smaller while he was in the ice, somehow.

The door opened before they could knock or ring the bell, and Peggy brightened a little, greeting, "Mr. Jarvis."

"Ms. Carter," Mr. Jarvis answered, voice clipped, and her smile faltered as quickly as it had arrived. He bowed slightly, motioning toward the sitting room on the left. "Mr. Stark will be down to see you presently."

Steve took it as the dismissal it was, wondering at Peggy's reaction. There was so much about her that he didn't know. So much about the world he didn't know. His years in the ocean had done him no favors. He stared at a painting of peaches and tried not to think about how much he'd lost. Then his ears caught the sound of footsteps on the stairs, and he turned, clasping his hands behind his back as he instinctively fell into parade rest.

The man coming down the stairs was not Howard, Steve realized, even though he looked a lot like him. Anthony, he remembered the file saying. Howard's son. Steve hadn't believed Howard would ever settle down, but here was proof, walking casually down the stairs as if they had all the time in the world. To their surprise, he used the post at the bottom of the stairs to swivel directly to face the sitting room they'd been directed toward, walking over like he was meant to be there.

"Tony," Peggy said, and she was unable to keep the surprise out of her voice.

"Aunt Peggy," Tony answered, voice measured. He crossed his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow. "Or should I be calling you that?"

Peggy sucked in a sharp breath and closed her eyes, looking vaguely annoyed, then opened them again. "Tony, I'm here to see your father."

"I'm the only Mr. Stark here," Tony told her flatly, scowling. "You'd know that if you ever called. Mom said she wanted to take a trip around the world while they still had their health, and they left three months ago. You'd know that if you read the society papers." He waved his hand dismissively. "And just so you know? I'm not really inclined to help. You didn't make it to a single one of my dissertations even though I invited you. You stopped coming to my birthday parties. You didn't even come to my coming out party," he added, and that last part was where Steve finally heard perhaps the first real emotion Tony had shown since he appeared on the stairs--hurt.

Omega, Steve remembered suddenly, at the mention of a coming out party. Tony didn't carry himself like the typical omega, he thought, tilting his head a little. But then, high society always carried themselves a little differently, he remembered. Howard had never carried himself like any of the alphas Steve had grown up with. It stood to reason that Tony would be much the same.

"Tony," Peggy began gently. "I'm sorry that my falling out with Howard affected you, too. I should have tried harder to stay in touch. But you were a child when that happened."

"And I was just as much of a pain in the ass then," Tony scoffed, rolling his eyes. "If they made a fuss about me talking to you, I would have just screamed the house down. I was good at it," he added with a huff.

Steve figured with the way Peggy winced, he was telling the truth.

"Whatever. I don't want to hash this out. What does SHIELD need from my dad? I'll pass the message on when they call next week," Tony continued before she could say anything else. "Maybe. If I feel like it."

Peggy looked like she was considering pressing him, but whatever she saw in his face, it made her back down. "It's about your mother's gala, Tony."

At that, Tony's gaze sharpened, shoulders straightening as his posture changed from dismissive to alert. "I'm in charge of the the foundation while Mom's on vacation," he said, sharp-edged and stern. "What would Dad have to do with that?"

"Hydra is trying to reestablish a foothold in New York," Steve finally answered, taking a step forward. "They intend to slither in through charities, because they believe it's easier to launder money that way. We believe several members will be trying to infiltrate the Maria Stark Foundation, and the gala will be where they make their move."

Tony swiveled to him, eyes calculating. "And who the fuck is this?"

Peggy glanced at him sharply, silencing Steve from answering. "This is the lead agent on the case, Agent Roger Stevens."

Tony pursed his lips, and the look he gave Steve wasn't entirely disgust, but it wasn't... not entirely disgust, either. Steve found himself sweating a little, and he couldn't quite figure out why.

"I suppose if I tell you that I'll take care of it, you'll poke your nose in anyway. Omega can't handle it," Tony said, lifting his chin at him aggressively.

Oh, Steve thought, wondering if this was how Bucky felt when Steve had raised his chin at him and asked, 'You wanna fight, too?' Tony thought that Steve believed he was incapable. "I'm sure you can handle it," he answered carefully when Peggy simply raised an eyebrow at him. He cleared his throat when Tony rocked back on his heels, clearly skeptical. "I just wonder. How you're going to arrest anyone. You need... authority from a governing body to do that."

Tony stared at him, unimpressed. Steve let the moment hang there, waiting. Adding anything else would be too risky, too likely to offend him. Steve had, unfortunately, not gotten any better at interacting with omegas. The only tried and true way to stay on their good sides, he'd found, was to shut the fuck up.

"So citizen's arrest doesn't count?" Tony finally asked.

"You have to hand the person you arrested over to a judge or police officer. I can detain them at SHIELD," Steve answered, and he thought he sounded pretty reasonable.

Tony scoffed. "Why? What can you do that the police can't?"

"Waterboard them, obviously," Steve deadpanned, then winced when Peggy's elbow rammed into his kidney.

"We do not waterboard our prisoners. We are not the CIA," Peggy told Tony sternly.

Tony's mouth dropped open into a surprised little 'o.' Then he threw his head back and laughed, loud, and Steve saw Peggy's shoulders relax, just a little. Maybe this would work out, Steve thought, allowing himself a small smile.

#ideas #stony #omegaverse

[weemssapphic]

Hi lovely! Got so excited when I saw your requests was open again, your writing is so addicting 😍

I’ve had this idea since I saw a post with a gif of Larissa holding a teaching pen and I can’t stop thinking about it.

What if Larissa was actually teaching anatomy one day at the school you being the assistant teacher for that specific class and at the same time you being secretly in a relationship with her. So as she teaches the class you become more and more turned on, while she talks about the body not being able to control yourself. Ending up having to take Larissa to her private rooms, saying “teach me anatomy” and Larissa be like “didn’t you pay any attention to me earlier” while getting you to “learn anatomy” on her body. Larissa receiving/reader giving, real smutty and hot! Kinks are more than welcome too, hope it makes sense! x if you won’t, it’s totally okay ❤️

Hello ❤️ thank you so much for the compliment and for the request - I'm so sorry that it took me so long to write this (I wasn't very happy with my first draft and I'm super against posting something I hate). But I hope you enjoy it 🫶🏼

Teach Me

Larissa Weems x f!reader

Words: ~3.3k

Content/warnings: nsfw (smut) - choking, authority kink, praise kink, hair pulling, cunnilingus, vaginal fingering, strap-on use

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“Good morning, class! I’ll be taking over this week’s lessons until Ms. Hanson is back from her sick leave. Today we’ll be going over last week’s exam, and then if we have time we’ll start chapter 8. Any questions?” Met with a brief silence, Larissa continued. “Excellent. Let’s start, shall we?”

Larissa nodded over at you, a small sign for you as the assistant teacher to make your way down the rows of desks and hand the students back their graded tests. Some of them groaned, some squealed in delight - once you’d finished your task, you made your way back to the front of the room, making eye contact with Larissa as you did so. You found her watching you with a faint smirk and a quirked eyebrow.

God, she was so hot when she did that. The smirk painted on those luscious red lips started a small flame in your abdomen - the blue eyes that bore into your own held just a smidge of teasing amusement as you visibly shivered. Larissa knew just what she was doing to you, she always did - her eyes briefly flicked down your body, drinking in your form, and you felt yourself flush.

The two of you had been in a relationship for several months now, choosing to keep it a secret from your students and most of your coworkers for the sake of professionalism. It was normally an easy secret to keep as, apart from staff meetings, your professional interactions were limited to none - especially in front of the students. Today, however, Larissa was taking over the class you normally assisted for, which was equally delightful and a little nerve-wracking.

Larissa was a force to be reckoned with. You’d seen her address the entire school plenty of times as principal, but there was something about seeing her take control of a classroom that was unbelievably arousing. She spoke with such passion, making sure to involve the students and encourage them - somehow, she managed to create a collaborative environment where even the shyest of students felt comfortable enough to speak up.

You couldn’t help but think that, if you’d had a teacher like her when you were younger, maybe you’d have learned a thing or two in anatomy class - perhaps even enjoyed the subject.

Or maybe not, you reasoned, as your eyes fell to Larissa’s backside, perfectly displayed in her form-fitting dress, when she leaned over her desk to rifle through a stack of papers. Maybe you wouldn’t have been able to focus on a single damned word.

And as anticipated, as the lesson progressed, you found it harder and harder to concentrate. You tried, you really did - keeping your eyes mostly on the students or on your notes, rather than on Larissa, trying to soak up every word that was being said in case your assistance was needed. This proved more difficult than you thought it would, as even Larissa’s voice, authoritative yet soft, served to get you worked up. But you were almost successful - until Larissa found that she had just enough time left in the lesson to start chapter 8 and reached into the drawer of her desk to pull out a pointer.

You watched, mesmerized, as she extended it and walked up to the blackboard. If anyone were to ask you what was drawn up there, you wouldn’t have been able to say, even though you’d prepared the lesson yourself due to Ms. Hanson’s absence - your mind went blank as your eyes were glued to Larissa’s hands. Long, red-tipped fingers gripped the pointer firmly, flexing around the little stick. Her other hand waved around animatedly as she spoke.

You squeezed your thighs together, growing more uncomfortable by the second as the dampness between your legs grew. You’d always loved how she spoke with her hands - right now, you couldn’t help but ponder what else she could be doing with them. How those long fingers could reach deep inside of you, curling against your-

The shrill sound of the bell ripped you from your trance, signaling the end of the lesson. Students began to rise, gathering at the door to shuffle out of the classroom and to the cafeteria for lunch. You swallowed hard, your eyes finding Larissa at her desk as she packed away her laptop and some papers.

You were on your feet the second the last student had closed the door behind themselves, taking long strides towards Larissa’s desk. She raised her head and smiled at you.

“Darling, I-”

Your lips met hers in a desperate, sloppy kiss, a needy moan clawing its way out of your throat. Larissa let out a chuckle as you deepened the kiss, her hands coming up to cup your cheeks as she pulled back.

“What was that for?” she asked playfully, humor dancing in her eyes. “Not that I’m complaining…” Her lips curled up into a smirk.

“That was for how hot you look teaching.” Your breaths came out in ragged puffs as you captured her lips once again. This time, Larissa let out a soft moan, fisting the front of your shirt and pulling you closer.

“We have a few hours until the next class… Everyone else is at lunch,” you mumbled against her lips.

“And what would you like to do with all that free time?” Larissa’s voice was low and raspy - it only served to turn you on further.

“You could teach me anatomy?”

“Were you not paying attention earlier?” Larissa teased.

“Nope,” you murmured. “I think I need a private tutor.”

“And you’re certain I’m not too distracting?” she purred.

“Rissa…” It came out whinier than you intended, but that didn’t appear to matter much: Larissa grinned against your lips, pressing one final kiss to them before allowing you to drag her through empty corridors all the way to her private quarters.

Larissa had you pinned against the door the second it closed behind you. Her hips pushed into yours as she clicked the lock, and then her hands were on either side of your head, trapping you against the oak as her lips found your neck. She sucked at your pulse point, her teeth grazing over the sensitive skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake.

“Tell me, darling,” she purred, her voice dropping an octave, her warm breath washing over your ear. “What do you remember from today’s lesson?”

Your breathing stuttered in your chest - if it had been hard to think before, well, now it was simply impossible. All you could focus on was how Larissa loomed over you, her body pressed against yours, her lips on your ear. The heat at the apex of your thighs was becoming unbearable.

“I-I don’t know… just- your hands,” you stuttered out sheepishly - that really was all you remembered, Larissa’s fingers flexing as she spoke, how they-

“Funny,” she whispered into your ear, nibbling at your earlobe. You felt your knees begin to give out - if Larissa hadn’t been pressing you to the door, you might’ve collapsed on the spot. “I don’t remember that being a topic in today’s lesson. Perhaps it’s better we start with the basics then, hmm?”

Before you could come up with a suitable reply, you felt Larissa’s hand close around your throat, her fingers applying gentle but firm pressure, flexing against your sensitive skin. You met her gaze to see blown pupils gazing hungrily down at you, painted lips pulled into a seductive smirk.

“Think you can be a good girl for me?” Larissa’s eyes were hooded as she looked down at you, applying just a little more pressure to the sides of your neck. You nodded fervently, not trusting yourself to speak, and Larissa grinned.

She let go of your throat, ignoring your whimper of disappointment, and turned to stroll nonchalantly towards the bedroom. “Give me 2 minutes, then you can come,” she called airily as she disappeared into the hallway.

They felt like the longest two minutes of your life. When they were over, you headed after her, your spine tingling with excitement. You walked into the room to find her sitting on the edge of the bed in her bra and panties, legs parted - her heels had been kicked off, her dress discarded.

“Larissa…”

“Now, is that how you think you should address a teacher?” Larissa raised an eyebrow, lips turned into a disapproving frown.

“Uh… Principal Weems?” Your face felt hot with embarrassment, but then Larissa grinned and let out a pleased hum and you found yourself growing hot for an entirely different reason.

She spread her legs and your eyes fell to the damp spot at the center of her panties. You felt your mouth go dry and you took a few steps forward, until you were standing between her legs. She made no move to touch you - she simply watched you with an amused grin plastered on her face.

“Why don’t you show me what you know, darling? My body is at your disposal…”

You didn’t need to be told twice - you lunged forward, planting a sloppy kiss to Larissa’s lips as your hands began to trail down her body, finding the clasp of her bra and quickly undoing it. You slid the straps down her arms and dropped the garment onto the floor, focusing your attention on her now exposed chest. Your lips trailed down her skin until they found one of her breasts, and you began to litter the soft mound of flesh in little kisses and bites.

“Take my nipple into your mouth and suck,” Larissa instructed, her voice slightly breathy but still firm and commanding. You did as you were told, sucking on the small, rosy bud and feeling it harden under your tongue. “You may bite - gently.” You grazed your teeth over her nipple before biting down, feeling Larissa arch into you and hearing her sharp intake of breath.

“Good girl, now the other one.” The heat between your legs grew as Larissa commanded you, and you mirrored your actions on her other breast.

You left a trail of kisses down Larissa’s stomach - the soft swell of which was so tantalizing that, with a cautious glance up at the blonde, you sunk your teeth into her flesh, biting down gently. A strangled gasp escaped Larissa’s throat and she looked down at you in amusement.

“Getting a bit bolder now, are we?” she teased, clearly enjoying the way your cheeks went pink. “I’m not stopping you, darling.” With her permission, you spent a few more minutes loving on her stomach and hips, biting and sucking, then soothing the little marks you left with a gentle lick of your tongue.

Soon, Larissa began to squirm beneath you, giving your head a gentle push. You settled between her plush thighs then, taking a moment to give them the same reverent treatment as Larissa let out quiet sounds of pleasure.

You pressed a soft kiss to Larissa’s cunt through her underwear, before pulling the garment down her legs to reveal her dripping sex.

The scent of Larissa’s arousal hung heavy in the air, she was already so wet for you - you licked your way up her slit, taking a second to worship her folds before finally circling your tongue around her swollen clit. 

“Fuck, Riss, you taste amazing,” you groaned. You felt Larissa’s hand on the back of your head, then a sharp tug at your hair. Larissa looked down at you with a raised eyebrow.

“I-I’m sorry, Principal Weems,” you breathed out. 

“Good girl,” Larissa purred. The hand holding your hair loosened its grip and you resumed your ministrations against her clit, flicking your tongue over it in little kitten licks.

Larissa arched her back off the bed and rolled her hips against your face. Ironically, considering the lesson, you knew her body well by now - you knew she wanted you inside of her. Happy to comply, you began to tease her entrance with your fingertip, earning yourself a breathy whine from the blonde.

“Enough teasing,” she murmured, and you slipped one digit into her hole, slowly pumping it in and out, before adding a second. Her walls stretched around your fingers and she let out a soft hum. 

“Such a good student,” she teased, her voice breathy. “Quick learner.” You could almost hear the smirk in her voice, and it only served to turn you on further - you were certain your underwear was ruined.

Your fingers found a steady rhythm inside of her, curling into the soft, spongy spot that had her writhing beneath you. Using your other hand to hold Larissa’s thigh and steady yourself, you wrapped your lips around her clit and sucked, letting out a wanton groan as you felt her begin to tremble.

Larissa came undone beneath you, letting out a drawn-out moan as her hips bucked erratically against your face. You continued to fuck her through her orgasm, until she stilled beneath you and allowed herself to sink into the mattress. 

You crawled up Larissa’s body, settling on top of her and pressing a bruising kiss to her lips which she immediately deepend with a low groan as she licked her arousal off your tongue. 

“Principal Weems?” you mumbled against her lips. She hummed in response. “You said I could do anything, right?”

Larissa grabbed a fistful of your hair and gave it a sharp yank, the pain sending a shiver all the way down to your toes. Her painted lips were pulled into a devilish smirk and her eyes sparkled with curiosity. 

“And what exactly are you proposing, darling?”

You bit your lower lip, blushing as you reached for the drawer of Larissa’s beside table - her smirk widened and she rested her head back against the pillow, watching you intently. 

You pulled out the harness and dildo that rested in the drawer, your blush deepening as Larissa hummed her approval. She never took your eyes off you as you tugged the harness over your hips, tightening the straps and securing the fake cock in place.

Larissa squirmed impatiently on the bed, already spreading her legs for you. You could see how wet she was and your own clit ached at the sight. Larissa reached out for your hips and you caught her wrists, pushing forward and pinning her arms over her head.

Larissa’s pupils widened at the action, a gasp escaping her lips, her hips squirming.

You reached back into the drawer with the hand that wasn’t holding Larissa’s arms in place and pulled out a burgundy silk tie, dangling it in front of her face. She grinned up at you, giving you her best, innocent doe eyes.

“Go ahead, darling, I’m waiting,” she teased. You tied Larissa’s wrists to the headboard, making sure it was tight enough to hold her but loose enough so it wouldn’t hurt.

“That okay?”

After giving her wrists an experimental tug, Larissa nodded in confirmation. You pressed a searing kiss to her lips, before trailing kisses down her body, caressing her bare hips with your hands. You stopped at her inner thighs, taking a few moments to worship them with kitten licks and litter them in little bruises until you felt Larissa squirm desperately beneath you. The low whine that she let out was so delicious that you groaned into her pussy, and she bucked her hips up impatiently.

You placed a hand on either one of her thighs, spreading her legs open for you. She bent them at the knee and titled her hips up eagerly.

“So pretty,” you groaned as you zeroed in on her dripping cunt, taking the fake cock in your hand and teasing her hole before sliding easily inside of her. Larissa’s lips parted to let out a gasp and she squeezed her eyes shut as she got used to the sensation of being stretched out. 

When she opened her eyes again, she gave you a nod and gently bucked her hips. You began to thrust the cock in and out of her, finding a slow and steady pace at which to fuck her.

Leaning over her, you continued your rhythmic thrusting as you wrapped your mouth around her nipple, flicking your tongue over it as your other hand began to fondle the soft swell of her breast.

Each flick of your tongue and thrust of your hips drew an even filthier moan from Larissa’s lips as she rolled her hips against you. Looking up at her through your lashes as you sucked on her breast, you could see her wiggling her arms against the restraints. She gazed hungrily down at you, eyes heavy-lidded, lips parted sensually. 

“Kiss me,” Larissa demanded, and though you didn’t think she was in a position to be making demands, you couldn’t resist - you wanted to kiss her so bad, so you did. Your mouth left her nipple in favor of pressing a bruising kiss to her mouth, which she immediately deepened with a breathy sigh. 

Your tongues danced around each other, Larissa’s breathing hot and heavy. You swallowed her soft moans and low grunts as you reached deeper and deeper inside of her, tilting your hips in the way you knew would bring her the most pleasure.

Her thighs began to tremble against your hips and she arched her back off the bed, her front pressing insistently into you - her skin was warm and slick with sweat.

One orgasm turned into two, turned into three, until Larissa wrapped her legs around your hips to pull you flush against her.

“I-I c-can’t…” she murmured breathlessly. “P-please…”

“Shh, it’s okay.” You caressed her cheek lovingly before pushing yourself up and carefully sliding the dildo out of her. Before removing the harness and tossing it to the ground, you undid the tie around Larissa’s wrists, placing a gentle kiss to each wrist before allowing her to drop her hands to her sides.

You crawled up the bed next to Larissa and snuggled against her, your own breathing almost as labored as hers. 

“Was that okay, love?” you asked, pressing a kiss to her flushed cheek. You could feel her nod against you, a small smile playing upon her lips.

“Mmmh, thank you, darling,” she murmured.

You reached over her to check your phone - you still had an hour before your next class.

“Close your eyes and rest,” you whispered. “I’ll be right back.” Larissa hummed in response and you went to fetch a warm, damp washcloth and a glass of water, which Larissa drank as you cleaned up traces of her arousal from between her legs. Then you snuggled up next to her and allowed yourself to fall into a light sleep, her arm slung loosely around your waist.

The sound of your phone’s alarm 40 minutes later had you groaning and burrowing your head deeper into the crook of Larissa’s neck.

“Do we have to teach today? Can’t we just cancel the classes and stay here?” You gave Larissa your best puppy-dog eyes and biggest pout, but you knew as soon as she chuckled and kissed your forehead that your pleading wouldn’t work.

“After how much work you put in to prepare everything?” Larissa teased, and you rolled your eyes and huffed. “Tell you what.” Her voice dropped an octave and she moved her mouth to your ear - you had to clench your thighs together in response. “If you’re a good girl this afternoon, then I’ll show you what I know tonight.” You had to bite your lip to keep from moaning as Larissa’s breath washed over the shell of your ear, raising goosebumps on your neck. With that motivation, you allowed yourself to be ushered out of bed and dressed yourself for your afternoon classes - only now, the ache between your thighs was even worse than it had been that morning. How you were going to survive the rest of your classes and be a good girl, you had no idea.

x

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[ijuststareatstuffhereok89]

Nights at the Circus: Part XXXIII

The trial goes exactly as you expected, in spite of yours' and the the Avengers' testimonies. Now, the last hope you have to saving Loki from death lies in perfecting the last bit of power that has been stirring within you. After you find an unexpected source of wisdom and strength, can you obtain the strength you need to save the day?

SERIES MASTERLIST

Content Warning: the system is fucking unfair Word Count: 3.3k

Who’d have thought that you and Steve Rogers teaming up in a courtroom would be so effective? For the following several hours, you’d traded off every hour, using the time to speak, answer questions from the council, and present your cases on behalf of Loki, who was forced to sit on the stand, his mouth gagged and hands chained in front of him. 

In a different place and time, the sight of him like that would’ve been enough to make you shed your clothes instantly. In fact, even in the present, you occasionally caught Loki winking at you. 

Steve took the angle of justice, law, and human (and Asgardian/Jotun) rights. Every time he monologued, he did so with the upright grace of a seasoned politician, serious and steadfast. Every question he was given by the council was answered slowly and completely. 

“Mr. Rogers, what is your relationship to the accused?” “I am a co-worker and colleague, sir.”

“Why do you vouch for him today when he has such a violent history against Earth?” “Because not only do I believe him to be reformed, ma’am, but I also believe the actions that caused him to be here this morning were done in good faith and protection of his loved one.”

“Who is this ‘loved one’ you are referring to, Mr. Rogers?” “She’s there,” he replied, indicating you. “Y/N.”

The poise and clarity of his performance stunned you. Damn, Steve, you thought, if you weren’t such a moral person, I’d suggest you run for President. 

When Steve wasn’t speaking, you were bringing your impassioned testimony, attempting to appeal to the romantic side of humanity, hoping to invoke a small morsel of mercy. 

“And who are you?” asked the Head Councilman.

You stood tall. “I am Y/N, and I am Loki’s fiancee.” 

Murmurs rippled across the room, not only from the few spectators, but also the council themselves. 

“You mean to tell me that you are lovers with Loki Laufeyson?”

“Yes. We began an affair when I moved into the Tower. I love him dearly.” 

“Ms Y/N, you aren’t in our records,” said the head councilman. “For the benefit of the council, would you mind introducing yourself?”

You sighed. “Yes. I’m Y/N, but I guess after becoming an Avenger I became the Firebird.”

“When was this?”

“About three months ago.”

“And your abilities that qualified you for the Avengers team?”

“General pyrokinesis,” you replied. “Inherited after-effects of human experimentations on my grandmother at the hands of Hydra.”

The council whispered for a moment. “Please regale us with the story of how you met and subsequently pursued a romance with Mr. Laufeyson, Y/N.”

You looked over at Loki, taking in the sad-but-still-somehow-pleasurable view of him bound and subdued. 

“Fury’s team pulled me from employment as a circus performer, where I was working to hide my true nature from the world,” you began. “Your rules for keeping new friends sequestered and suppressed are a bit, shall we say, draconian, so I was feeling alone. Turns out, so was he.” 

“Is that all?” The question came from a toad-faced crone sitting on the edge of the long bench, looking at you with a special glare of disgust that you didn’t like. 

“Oh, and he also has a massive cock. You may want to make sure the records show that.”

“That is enough, Ms. Y/N!”

“I’m sorry,” you said, casting your eye down submissively, if only for a moment while you collected yourself. “It seems Loki has had more of an influence on me than I suspected.”

Steve raised an eyebrow, a smirk painted across his perfect jaw. 

“Anyway,” you continued. “In the months since, all I have come to know is that Loki is a prisoner under your accords. He has long since ceased to be a threat to this planet or us, its people. In fact, when he gave me this,” you held up the heart stone and went on, “he said he wished to run away with me to some remote place away from the City and away from power, where we could do what he always really wanted.”

“Which is?”

“Live in peace, with a family, without bloats like you commanding every aspect of his life,” you answered. “He wants nothing to do with the man who committed those violent atrocities years ago. I’d stake my life on this.”

“Ms Firebird,” the head councilman said after a moment. “Perhaps you aren’t aware of the reason behind our terms and why we are so keen to stand by them even now…”

“..perhaps you aren’t aware of what humanity is? About reform? The purpose of punishment?” you spat back. “I know what this all is for,” you added. “Its about keeping the world under your control as more of us appear.”

“Us?”

“People like me with fancy-ass powers that can change history,” you responded. “Its the same as S.H.I.E.L.D.: by any means necessary, right?”

“Ms. Firebird--”

“--It must be!” you carried on. “After all, why else would you condemn a man to death for saving all of our lives if not to keep us under your thumbs?”

“Loki Laufeyson was well aware that there were no exceptions or special cases in our treaty,” said the head councilman. “He has to take full responsibility for his actions.”

“And so he has! By BEING here! And as for public opinion and keeping the peace, why would tearing someone apart from the woman he loves for the crime of saving her life make the people of this planet favor you?” you asked. “Why would that paint you in their eyes as anything other than a villain?”

The room was quiet. 

“I was the result of a lost soul being refused the help she needed to control her powers and thrive in our society,” you explained. “My father abandoned my grandmother when she needed a kind heart on her side. Now it’s on the UN and Humanity itself to be that kind heart for Loki now, because when it comes down to it: he risked everything to save our lives. Why won’t you take a risk for him now?”

The room went quiet again. You looked back over to your love, who clearly wasn;t able to tear his eyes away from you. You cocked your hip and tossed your hair over your shoulder in a brief attempt to show off. 

“Ms. Firebird,” the head councilman finally broke the unnerving stillness in the air. “Your argument is compelling, but even true love cannot stop the unbreakable accord the UN has with Asgard.”

Your heart dropped. “Mr. Councilman--”

“--the treaty was signed not only to calm the nerves of the people of Earth, it was to assure Asgard that we were strong enough to withstand the possibility of an invasion from the skies,” he explained. “It was to show the strength of humanity against the strength of aliens and other visitors who may tear our cities apart. We cannot know the motivations of Asgard or other worlds out there, and therefore, we have no other choice than to be stone in the face of moral ambiguity such as we are presented with now.”

Your shoulders dropped, and it felt like a big ball of frozen rock fell into your stomach. “You can’t be serious. You’ll be rewarding a savior with execution for the sake of how a bunch of aliens feel about us?”

“Security, not image,” said the councilman. “If we let Loki off without repercussions, they will see us as weak and defenseless.”

You looked to Steve, desperate for help. He stepped forward. “Mr. Councilman, I really do think you should reconsider. There are other ways to maintain our reputation of strength in other worlds.”

“Regardless,” the head councilman responded negatively, “Our ruling is final, and in accordance with our arrangement with Asgard: Loki Laufeyson of Asgard and Jotunheim, you are hereby sentenced to extradition to your home realm to face the mercy of their judgment, to be carried out post haste.”

Your skin froze. “No…”

“...this is extreme and unreasonable!” Steve yelled. “This isn’t diplomacy OR humanity!” 

“This hearing is now officially and legally concluded,” the councilman barked quickly, gesturing for the council at the bench to dismiss themselves, while you could already see Loki being taken away, Thor running in his direction. 

“No! Loki!” you shouted desperately, exploding into flame and vaulting over the stand in an effort to make a beeline for him. Gasps rang throughout the room as you attempted to run through the quickly-crowding room, but Loki was already being dragged away by guards. Despite being able to claw the gag off of his mouth, the rest of his bonds were besting him. 

“Hold her before she kills someone!” a guard screeched.

“Holy fuck!” hollered another.

“Take him out!”

“Let me see him!” you shouted, feeling a heavy hand grab your arm, jerking your body back into Steve’s solid chest, who was restraining you to prevent you from harming anyone else. Despite your instant attempt to make your skin hot enough to roast a chicken in ten minutes, he was able to hold on to you as your thrashes became more desperate, although he shouted in pain. 

You swore you could hear Loki shouting “hold on to her, Rogers!” amid the chaos. “Take care of her!”

“THOR!!” you screamed in a panic as you saw Loki being quickly taken out of your sight before you could even get close. “Thor, do something!!”

“I’m going with him! It’ll be alright! I’ll stop it!” Thor called out from elsewhere in the room, though as Steve dragged you to the floor, still resisting your heated body, you stopped seeing individual people and instead, the world became a blur as even your body couldn’t take the heat any more. 

Your energy slipped out of your body too quickly for you to prepare for it, and it was all Steve could do to sink to the floor with your limp form as you passed out from the rage in the middle of the council room. 

Loki and Thor were already out of sight. 

------------------

“ARGH!!! AGAIN!” you called. 

You couldn’t possibly wait for Thor to return with news, but it was all you could do. As the minutes became hours, and the hours became a full night, you spent it all contained in your gym, Steve and the Maximoffs watching over you as you desperately tried to crack the code to your smoke power. 

It was the last thing you could do. Thor had promised nothing would happen to Loki until he returned to give you any news, and that he would do his best to beg an audience with Odin as quickly as possible. 

“I thought this was a defense thing? Well, I need to defend something, already!” While you waited, you decided that you had to perfect your new ability to dissipate.  Loki had said it was for defense, so it had to be triggered by anger or fear…yet you were only able to get one arm to dissolve into soot up to your shoulder. Once Thor returned, if he did not have Loki with him, all in one piece, you knew you were going to have to find a way to return with the God of Thunder to Asgard without being detected. This was the last hope Loki had. 

“Y/N, you will kill yourself if you do not slow down!” said Wanda, shaking her head. “At least eat something!”

You ignored her and positioned yourself tall and steady, closing your eyes and trying to focus on what lay before you. “This is the last hope, YOU are the last hope,” you whispered. “Failure isn’t on the table.”

You let the image of the head councilman’s face sear through your soul like the very image of pain, hoping it would trigger your smoke reaction. It occasionally caused your fingernails to turn to soot, but no such luck after that. 

“Y/N,” Steve said. “If Thor needs you, you won’t be ready if you keep doing…whatever you’re doing.”

“And what do you suggest?” you groaned. “You know how to work these things?”

Steve shrunk back in his seat and threw up his hands in surrender. “Fair enough. I don't.” 

“Firebird, maybe you should relax more?” suggested Pietro between bites of a sandwich he was demolishing. 

“And how do you suggest I do that, when this is literally the last thing I can do to rescue Loki?” you said, giving Pietro an angry look. “If I fail, his blood is on my hands!”

“No, you cannot say that,” Steve reasoned. “Think about everything you’ve done so far.”

“But he did it for ME!” you cried, suddenly losing your tough exterior and falling to the floor in a heap of sobs. Steve, Wanda, and Pietro all ran over and sat with you. “If it weren’t for me, he’d be safe.”

“Don’t say that,” said Wanda. “You brought new meaning to his life.” 

“He doesn’t regret anything,” said Steve. “You shouldn’t either.” 

“Not like it matters,” you sighed woefully. “I’ve lost him. He put his trust in me and I failed him. If he haunts me forever and torments me in my sleep, I don't blame him.”

Wanda looked to Pietro, pointing down to where her ankle suppressor had usually been, but had never been replaced after the chaos of the battle against Hydra, as well as the dramatic fallout concerning Loki.  She smiled. Pietro nodded subtly, but you didn’t notice any of this through your tears as you got to your feet in a hurry, your panic returning and forcing you to frantically pace the room, as if a solution would chase you down. 

Wanda moved her fingers, a small red glow emitting from them. The world around you morphed and darkened, the familiarity of your gym space leaving you behind as Wanda took your mind somewhere else…

------------

You were in the center ring of your circus. The room was empty and silent, save for someone with their back to you, standing on the trapeze platform, wearing a stunning red-spangled gown. 

“Oh my god…grandmother?” you asked. 

Svetlana smiled and nodded, hopping onto the trapeze and doing a skillful flip landing about five feet from where you stood in the center of the room. You immediately reached out a hand to touch her, but she shrunk back and shook her head. 

“I am only the echoes of what your heart already knows, but perhaps what your eyes need to see, and your ears need to hear,” she explained. “You may try to touch me, but you will feel nothing.”

“Oh my god,” you felt yourself weeping quietly, hot tears burning your face. “Meeting you…I can’t believe…”

“It is good to see you too. My, you look like me,” Svetlana said softly. 

“I wish I could have known you!” you exclaimed. “All of the things about our magic you could have taught me…”

“When you were born, and I heard of you, I knew you’d be the one to be like me, and I knew you’d be the strongest one in the family. I always wanted to meet you, but I was comforted until my death by my belief that you are my granddaughter in every way, and that would be enough to see you through.”

You gritted your teeth, looking at the soft kind lady in front of you, suddenly wishing you could punch your father in the face for what he did. “How could you let dad do those things to you?”

“I was weary of the world, I had nothing left in me to fight. But please know that I chose to stay away. I could have fought my son. I was at peace in Hoboken, you know. Away from the memories of my life. Someone held my hand as I passed, a nurse and close confidante of mine, so I was not alone. Your fight, however, is just beginning.”

You looked down. “And how do I turn myself into smoke?”

Svetlana looked you in the eye for the first time, a knowing smile on her face. “Oh my dear, just will it. Just want it.”

“That sure got me far,” you spat. “The man I love is about to die for me, and I can’t even figure out this power to help him in time. I am so not worthy of speaking to you…and I was a fucking fool to ever think I was worthy of Loki!”

Svetlana gave you a reassuring smile while gently shaking her head. “I think that’s something he determined to be false a long time ago.”

“I failed him,” you said weakly. “He probably feels betrayed and resentful of me anyway. Everyone in his world has always turned their backs on him, and I was no better in the end. I tried, grandmother, I really did--”

“--and you have NOT failed,” said Svetlana. “And I promise you, my child, that he is only sitting and waiting for you to burst in to save the day. He knows you are coming, and he trusts you yet.”

You grunted. “His trust is misplaced.”

“Only if you say it is!” said your grandmother, her voice rising in authority. “And for as long as you tell yourself this, he may as well lay his head down right now! My god, girl, you are my granddaughter! I walked through miles of snowy forest until I encountered travelers, burned within an inch of my life and teeming with new, inexplicable heat! Strength lies in our blood more than any flame or flicker.”

She turned to leave. 

“But--”

“--if you are truly my child, then Loki is already saved.”

“Grandmother, don't go!”

Svetlana paused, but did not turn around. “Carry the fire, my daughter. Shine.”

You blinked, and suddenly you were back in your gym, hovering about fifteen feet off the ground, a vague feeling of being in another state of matter, yet still whole. Wanda was underneath you, smiling and nodding quietly. 

“There it is,” she mumbled. 

You quickly willed yourself back into corporeal form, and so you were within moments. You let out a pleasant chuckle of surprise. 

“Well, I guess--”

Suddenly, the sound of the bifrost opening on the roof of the tower sent all of you dashing up the stairs, where you met Thor as he came bounding in, hammer in hand, out of breath (odd for a god). 

You immediately knew what had transpired on Asgard. “Oh no…”

Thor nodded and held out a hand to you. “I told Heimdall to stand by. I am the only one allowed back, and its going to happen any time…”

You swallowed nervously, your hair glowing white hot. “It?”

Thor nodded. “The execution. Odin was not moved. We need to go. NOW.” 

---------------

@lokisgoodgirl @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @xorpsbane @mochie85 @mischief2sarawr @michelleleewise @toozmanykids @fictive-sl0th @lokiprompts @goblingirlsarah @el-zef @thedistractedagglomeration @itsybitchylittlewitchy

#loki #mcu #mcu loki #fanfiction #loki fanfiction #loki laufeyson #mcu fanfiction #loki x reader #loki/reader #loki x y/n #reader has powers #loki laufesyon x reader #reader insert

[lackadaisydreamer]

Midnight City Pt5

A slickpaint au

---------

((it's late bur happy belated 413. I had it in me to write a longer part this time, next update is gonna be a bit more on the romantic side. I'm a sucker for a good slow burn.))

Droog hated pain, it reminded him of his inevitable mortality. Curses streamed under his breath, the last thing he remembered was hitting the floor. The events of the night blurred together, swirling gowns and the echo of poker chips melding into explosions and the smell of gasoline that still soaked the hem of his dress pants. Throbbing, he woke to a throbbing headache.

Boxcars was finishing up fixing his wound. His mind drifted back to the war times, and all the hours spent just like this. Chaos, the blood soaked ground, and this lumbering buffoon that somehow had qualified as a medic.

Droog was so accustomed to the feeling of the sharp needle by now that he hardly felt it. "You should have told us you were shot." Hearts grunted. "This could have been bad, you're lucky there's no fractures...it didn't hit the bones." Droog looked over to the bedside table reaching for a cigarette. In one swift click of his lighter it glowed in his hand. Droog inhaled deeply, the burn itself was addictive.

"What can I say I've always had excellent calves..." He muttered, looking at his bandaged leg. "Where's Slick?" He asked as Hearts washed his hands in the basin.

"His room is across the hall." He shrugged, drying them off with a fluffy pink towel. Just about everything in Ms. Paint's mansion was some shade of pink.

The bed was softest thing he had ever lain on. Slick looked up at the ceiling, staring at the embossed patterns swirling overhhead. His eyes followed them as his own thoughts stretched and buzzed in his skull. Trying everything he could to organize them, take them apart then piece them together over and over. Was there something he missed? some small detail? Nothing. Absolutely nothing came to mind and that part was the worst. He tossed his hat in frustration, sitting up on the edge of the bed.

The Felt for some reason was working for Biggs, and he was after Ms. Paint...what was he planning? "I need to ask her so many questions but she's in no condition to speak to me..." Slick grumbled. "Droog will kill me if I go check on him, and I can't sleep a wink..." His thoughts fell back on that moment in the hallway, hearing the fear in her voice. "I can't let Jackpot find her again..." With a growl of frustration he got up from bed, pulling his dress shirt back on. Bustling in the hallway was Clyde, making sure everyone else was comfortable.

"Excuse me Clyde?" Slick called over, immediately getting his full attention. He had a kind smile.

"Yes master Spades?" Clyde asked, leaning politely over a basket of the now soiled disguises from the nights events. "I was just on my way to ask if you would like me to wash and press your suit?" Slick scratched his head.

"I'm afraid I'm gonna be burning the night oil Clyde, could I get a copy of yesterday's paper, a pen, and a notepad?"

She was shaking, every inch of her aching. Clyde had insisted on a relaxing bath which did help, and the doctor would be coming in tomorrow morning. Ms. Paint squeezed her eyes shut, quiet sobs making her shudder. She could feel his hands, and hear Itchy's terrible scratchy laugh that made chills run down her spine.

It felt like hours had passed before she could finally breathe evenly. Her head was throbbing as she slowly sat up. Water, yes some water would help. Ms. Paint got up from her bed, leaning agaisnt the post as a small dizzy spell overtook her. Eyes closed, deep breaths before she took a step. She sighed, wrapping herself in a luxurious pink robe and stepping into a pair of elegant slippers.

She made her way down the stairs to the kitchen, and from the livingroom she noticed a soft glow of light. "Certainly Clyde is not up at this hour?" Ms. Paint thought to herself that if it were the case she would send him off to bed at once.

To her surprise, it was Slick. He was leaning over Newspaper clippings and writing down notes at a rapid pace. She couldn't see the papers but he was scribbling down everything he had heard Itchy and Die say. A list of questions for Ms. Paint of course, as well as all information he knew about Biggs He sighed, rubbing his tired face. He was running out of things to take note of. He was so tired he could barely keep his eyes open.

Ms. Paint slowly backed away, the last thing she wanted was to bother him. "He's certainly thorough." He looked just as tired as she felt, perhaps some tea or something would help. "I think I would prefer a tea myself actually..." she mused, making her way to the kitchen.

Slick stretched his neck, the small clicks and cracks of his joints made him wince as he finally sat up straight. He could almost hear Hearts griping about his posture. "I was right..." He had every copy of the paper from the week on hand, his deck style modus had them all outstretched before him. "The Felt haven't been on the move for the last month..." They would sometimes have periods where they would lay low but this had been an especially long down time even for them. They hadn't even been mentioned in the papers, and over and over there was Jackpot.

"Biggs joins the board! The Paint Foundation celebrates their gratitude." He had been cozying up to their little socialite for some time now, and this explained the Felt's absence. "Dammit..." He muttered. Standing up to stretch his back. "Still too many questions." He suddenly stood completely upright, he heard something. The sound of shattered glass...the opening of a cupboard? A door perhaps...yes, and those were definitely footsteps following it. Slick turned over and shut off the light, with a small flick of a card his hands met the familiar handle of one of his many blades. One of his personal favorites, an ornate black switchblade. The blade was so dark he wouldn't have to worry about pesky reflections that was for sure.

He made his way through the halls, confused at a single small light that seemed to be coming from the kitchen. "Clyde already went to bed...The crew would have to come through here from that hallway...Ms. Paint has been asleep for hours and I'm sure I'd hear her..." He approached carefully. "If Biggs has the nerve to show up here..." Slick grit his teeth, where would he take her and on that note Why did he care? Slick clenched his fist in frustration. Why on earth was he sticking his neck out for her like this anyway?

"He's interfering with my business...that's all there is to it, and she's got something to do with it." With a deep breath. "It's business, nothing else..." He heard someone inside, only person. Yeah, he could take them no problem. "Alright show yourself!" He demanded, leaping inside and his blade hovered at the neck of not a checker nor did his gaze meet a green tailored idiot.

There she was, Ms. Paint dumping the pieces of a broken tea cup in the bin. Her soft porcelain complexion sickly, her eyes dark and exhausted but nevertheless beautiful. She hadn't even screamed, she just stood there shocked, and he looked just as surprised as she did. "M-mr. Spades! I....oh dear I..." She felt so dizzy, she could barely piece together a sentence. "Did...I startle you?..." Her voice was already trailing off. It had been hard enough for her to stand. Ms. Paint's mind went completely blank.

Without a moment of hesitation that not even he could have anticipated, Spades immediately dropped his blade. His arms scooping her up. "You're supposed to be resting..." he grumbled. "I thought the noise might have been an intruder, I wasn't expecting to see you there I'm sorry, it looks like I was the one that scared you..." Spades made his way back to the livingroom. Ms. Paint felt like she was about to pass out, she could feel his heart racing as he held her close. Trying not to knock over any of the decor in the halls.

Ms. Paint felt her face burn, all this carrying and all this fuss. It was hardly dignified. "I am perfectly fine thank you...please, I can walk..." Slick raised his brow.

"You were practically using that broom as a damn cane." She lowered her face, the embarrassment making her cheeks go pink. "If you...don't mind me asking why were you up? If Clyde had found you he would have thrown a fit." Ms. Paint sighed, rubbing her face as they came to the livingroom.

"Oh nevermind...thank you either way...I saw you working, you looked exhausted and I couldn't sleep a wink either so I thought perhaps some a tea and a chat would clear both our minds." She explained. Spades shook his head.

"No, you can barely keep your eyes open...I think you need your rest, and we can discuss everything later like you said..." He turned from his work and to the staircase, still holding her. "I don't want anything happening to you.. believe me as to why that is that's one of the too many questions I have right now but..." Slick allowed himself a look, just one look before once more turning his gaze forward. She was looking up at him, her gentle eyes tired and her soft cheeks rosy. "Why is she looking at me like that...I'm just some sewer rat...why the hell is she even trusting me that's a terrible decision." He took a deep breath. Yeah, too many questions. Spades cleared his throat, returning to his thought.

"one thing's for sure...even I have to admit that this city wouldn't do well to lose you."

She quietly directed him to a set of large white double doors, his touch so gentle as he placed her on the floor. Why did he care? Why was he here...the same questions made her feel like her skull was going to split in half. Ms. Paint looked back to the doors, hesitant to open them. Dreading the memory of cigar smoke and rope burns. Surprisingly, he reached over and opened it for her. "Since I already can't sleep, would you feel better if kept watch outside?" A question that seemed to make even more questions. Questions they were both too tired to ask and too tired to answer. Yet, there was a comfort in his words and a solution to his directionless puzzling with her answer.

"Yes...thank you mr. Spades." He chuckled, the first time she saw him smile.

"I'm not one of your ambassadors or representatives, you can just call me Spades or Slick that's up to you." He waved her inside. "Goodnight Miss. Paint."

#homestuck #homestuck fanfic #midnight crew #slickpaint #spades slick #wholesome #spades slick x ms paint

[lubdubsworld]

物の哀れ ( ‘the sadness of things’.)

Alpha Jungkook x Omega Oc!

Genre : Angst , Hurt/ Comfort.

    Chapter 1  ⋆  Chapter 2  ⋆  Chapter 3     Chapter 4  ⋆  Chapter 5   ⋆   

    Chapter 6   Chapter 7     Chapter 8

Summary : Nine months after her marriage ends, Kim Heejin is a reclusive artist, who works out of a renovated warehouse in Busan, her days and nights spent with canvas and paint. Its exactly what she’s ever wanted, to be left alone. And yet, that nagging feeling of incompletion keeps her on her toes. And perhaps, it is that longing for something substantial, something real that pushes her to give her flawed but lovable ex-husband another chance.

Chapter 9

 “I… No. Just… please tell him I’ll be down…I’ll come down to the lobby to meet him.” I said quickly, panicking at the idea of having him here. I’d barely been here a day but this was still my space. And if I had him here then his scent would just seep into every nook and corner. 

The room would smell like him then… And what would I do after he left?

God, what was I even thinking? Head swimming, I crawled to the edge of the bed and breathed shakily. 

It felt surreal, climbing out of the bed and moving to the vanity . I stared at myself in the mirror as I grabbed the makeup bag I kept with me all the time. Wide eyes and parted lips, creamy gold skin turning lily white because of how the blood had just drained after that phone call. 

I looked petrified .

Jungkook… I thought numbly. Jungkook’s waiting downstairs and I’m going to see him. 

What is he thinking.... What is he feeling... why is he even here? 

You’re not responsible for his emotions, Taehyung’s soothing voice in my head helped a bit but not a whole lot. What about my emotions, I though desperately, grabbing the tube of gloss and slowly uncapping it. I ran the end of it over my lips and felt my fingers tremble because I didn’t know why I felt this need …to look beautiful.

I didn’t need to, I though miserably. Everyone knew omegas were beautiful. Beta supermodels were beautiful yes but they couldn’t hold a candle to me, at least for someone like  Jungkook. He was an alpha, his brain was built to find me attractive. I had evolutionary genetics on my side, which mean that if I ever actually wanted to seduce Jungkook , he wouldn’t really stand a chance .

But I didn’t want that.

I had had enough of that. Enough of seeing handsome, rich alphas being reluctantly attracted to me. They made it obvious too. Most of the hate mail I got stemmed from angry wives or girlfriends accusing me of seducing their men , even though  I’d never so much as laid my eyes on them. It was so unfair. 

I didn’t enjoy watching them lose their minds at the sight and scent of me, because i knew that deep down,  they thought that all omegas were scum. 

Manipulative, sex driven , greedy and selfish . Those were the labels I got plastered with , on the media and on the streets. 

And Jungkook wasn’t different, I reminded myself firmly, pulling away from the mirror and grabbing the loose powder and dusting down some of it on the apple of my cheeks and down the length of my nose. 

He didn’t think any different than the others. Jungkook’s views on omegas were just as archaic and bigoted as everyone else’s .

He just didn’t act on them .

Sighing, I dropped the lipgloss back in the back and brushed my hair off my face. On a whim , I pulled off the hair tie holding the thick strands together, letting the wavy tresses fall over my shoulder. I hadn’t cut my hair in a long time and it felt to my hips now. My stylist was adamant that it added to my aesthetic.

  A primal siren, she had said staring at me in awe, like something eternal and beautifully dangerous. We’re lucky you seem incapable of hate, Heejin ...because I think you could bring grown men to their knees with that body and that face. 

I felt nauseous at the thought of it.   

Walking to the elevator felt like walking the plank and I had stop a couple of times, just to breathe deeply. I had to be smart about this. I was in therapy. Taehyung had taught me how to handle situations like this and while my heart was pounding too hard and my brain was too scrambled to use any of his therapy techniques, I still had some of my cognitive abilities intact. 

He came here, i thought desperately. 

He came looking for you and that means he isn’t nervous or worried or overthinking this because he doesn’t have feelings for you. If you want to come out of this  unscathed, you need to get your head on straight. You need to pretend that you didn’t just have a minor mental breakdown at the thought of him dating someone else. 

I took a deep breath, exhaling sharply before stepping into the elevator. The ride down to the lobby was barely a few seconds and when I stepped out, I realized the place was way too crowded for such an exclusive Hotel. And then I remembered that people were here for the Art Festival. I glanced at the reception desk, covertly, noting a conspicuous lack of Jeon Jungkook. The lady behind the desk held her hand up when she spotted me .

“Ms. Kim? Mr. Jeon just went to get you a drink...He’s over by the breakfast counter over there.” She pointed out the dining space where people were walking about getting breakfast and I swallowed, feeling hot and cold as I cautiously stepped into the crowd, trying to find a that familiar head of thick dark hair. 

I felt the apprehension build as I tugged on my bottom lip between my teeth, trying to reign in the chaos in my mind but it was impossible, everything too loud and too messy. I looked around and then, it hit me. 

His scent. 

I felt my lips part in surprise, and it felt like someone had turned the volume down , noises fading into a dull hum at the back of my mind as I stared at him. He hadn’t spotted me yet and I took a second to just....look.

He looked incredible.

There was really no other word for it. Incredibly handsome, Incredibly beautiful and so incredibly perfect as the late morning sun lit up the room, picking out the shine on his white silk shirt. I breathed in deep, my mindeasily picking out the musky pine scent of him and I stepped closer, moving straight towards him and I caught the exact moment my scent his senses.

He jerked a bit, nostrils flaring and eyes going wide before he turned, lips parted and gaze a bit unfocused as he looked around.

When he caught sight of me, he just blinked. 

I smiled weakly, body going limp with relief because.... because this was Jungkook. Not some monster I had to run from. This was Jungkook....even at his worst he had been better than some of the other people I’d met in life. 

I looked down at the drink in his hand and smiled a bit as he made his way over. 

“ This isn’t the same as buying me a coffee.” I said shakily as he finally stepped upto me.

His eyes danced with warmth. 

“What makes you think I can afford one? Besides, aren’t you the hotshot artist? Shouldn’t you be the one buying me stuff?” He said softly. 

“Just saw you on the front cover of a magazine. We both know you’re far from destitute..” Even through the smile, I felt the tug of emotion as I stared at him, felt the difference in him like night and day, the light and joy and ...contentment that seemed to radiate off him .

He smiled and held the drink out to me gently.

“ Heejin-ah.” He whispered. 

And somehow it was the sound of his voice, wrapping around the syllables of my name that finally did it. 

I felt the tears brim over, my lips parting in choked laughter as I stepped close and wrapped both my arms around him, burying my face in his neck and breathing him in. I felt him hold me, infinitely gentle and I exhaled sharply.

“I didn’t miss you,  at all.” I said shakily. He laughed lightly. 

“I missed you , too.” He stroked the back of my head gently and I sighed, fingers curling on the silk of his shirt. The fabric felt like liquid in my fingers and I played with it for a second, intensely aware that people were starting to stare. That this embrace had gone on for longer than social norms dictated but I couldn’t bring myself to care, letting my chin rest against his shoulder blades. 

And it was almost frightening.....how easy it was to pretend we weren’t broken at all. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“She was so small when I last held her... I can’t believe she’s running around.” I said, awed, listening to Jungkook tell me about how Mina liked to climb everywhere. He laughed, shaking his head. 

"She’s growing bigger everyday. I can barely keep up.” Jungkook smiled, holding a hand out for me to step over the wooden slats that lined the tiny archway that led to the door to his building. I hesitated before lightly gripping his hand in mine, the gesture somehow feeling more intimate that it was. 

“You’re not staying at the Firenze?” I asked curiously, resisting the urge to reach for his hand again when he let go.

it was such a ridiculous thing but I’d never held hands with him. And It felt ridiculously nice, to slot my fingers with his, feel them in between mine. His palm against mine, calloused but somehow so comforting. 

 I’d forgotten how warm he was.

 Don’t. Don’t fall down this rabbit hole again, Heejin. We talked about this. He doesn’t think of you that way. He doesn’t. And neither should you. its unfair to him. He doesn’t deserve that. 

“No... As you can see my apartment is barely ten minutes away and Soeun has her exams so its easier for her to watch over Mina here at the apartment.

“Soeun?” I asked curiously.

“Park Soeun? She’s a University student who lives with me. She’s doing a correspondence course in fashion . So she’s home all the time and she helps out with Mina. And she speaks Italian so that’s a huge plus... ” He smiled. “ you’ll like her. She’s a good kid.” 

 Don’t make that face. Don’t fucking make that face, Heejin.

I struggled to keep my face straight , like I wasn’t feeling the weight of a dozen bricks at the base of my stomach. 

“A roommate...then..?” I asked quietly and he shrugged.

“Something like that. But mostly she helps take care of Mina when I’m out on an assignment.” He smiled and led me past two flight of stairs up to the studio apartment. 

I wrapped my arms around myself as he stopped in front of a wrought iron grill, gripping one end and sliding it open with ease. And then he rang the small bell n the side. I shuffled back and forth on my foot, heart racing. 

The door opened and I blinked because of how young the girl who opened the door was. A second later she was beaming, moving forward and wrapping both her arms around me.

“Unnie!” She squealed, hugging me so close that I almost choked. Completely thrown I could only gape at Jungkook who was laughing . 

“Oh, I forgot to mention..she’s a bit of a fan. “ He teased lightly and I smiled awkwardly, watching as she pulled back to stare at me, her gaze trained on my face unblinkingly. 

“Whoa...” She reached out and lightly touched my cheek with her forefinger making me jump. She flinched as well, flushing red.

“Shit..sorry...I just... I’ve never... I’ve never met an omega before.” She said softly. “ You’re absolutely breathtaking.”

I felt my heart pound, steeping back instinctively, an overwhelming urge to hide , anxiety pooling in my stomach as she continued to stare at me. I hated the attention and I wrapped my arms around myself. 

“Soeun, enough. Don’t make it weird.” Jungkook said sternly, voice hard and the girl immediately flushed, bowing apologetically. 

“Sorry...I.. sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable ... You’re pretty.” She said again before turning to Jungkook.

“I have to get some stuff for my exhibit, Jungkook oppa... Mina’s asleep. i’ll be staying over at Vince’s place for the night though. Is that okay?”

“Sure..have fun.” Jungkook smiled, “ Vince is her boyfriend.” He explained and Soeun nodded happily. 

“Italian men are absolutely amazing unnie...you should try some.” She winked and I laughed despite myself.

“I just might...” I said with a grin, watching as she walked over to slip on a pair of sneakers from the small shoe closet near the door. She waved enthusiastically all but bouncing away and I blinked at him , shaking my head.

“I feel a hundred years old right now.” I said softly, still stunned by the girl’s exorbitant energy. Jungkook laughed at that

“She definitely has that effect on people... Come on, I’ll show you around.” He held his hand out and I smiled , taking his fingers mine and letting him tug me further into the studio apartment. 

I looked around, taking in the full blown prints of Mina and Jungkook , caught in adorable poses in front of different tourist spots in Florence. I saw how much she looked like Jungkook now, and how openly affectionate they looked together, the love evident even in the still photos. 

And then my eyes fell on a familiar painting , my stomach lurching. 

“You... “ i turned to him in a rush and he was staring at me with a small smile.

“I had to bring that. It pretty much saved me, that painting.” He said casually, stepping close and running his fingers all over the print. 

“When you told me this is how Sooah saw me...” He traced the picture carefully before glancing at me,” it made me realize that Sooah didn’t just want a baby.....she wanted a baby with  me. She saw me as a father. As someone who could raise and nurture a tiny human  and that... that’s amazing isn’t it?” He sighed, staring at me.  

He looked beautiful, I thought with an ache deep inside me. The most beautiful man I’d ever seen in my life and it seemed almost too good to be true. That he was here, at reach. So close. I wondered if this was it. This had to be a sign. A sign that we’d come full circle. That it was over. That we could finally break free from all that we’d been through, and look back at Jungkook’s past with fondness instead of pain.

And perhaps, just perhaps I could reach out and touch him with something more than just the love you have for a friend. . Perhaps I could reach out and touch him, without feeling guilt and foreboding.

I exhaled shakily stepping up and running my fingers over the canvas. It was nothing fancy... Just a painting a painting of Jungkook holding Mina up by her waist, high over his head, staring up into her face with all the love and adoration in the world, The child in the painting doesn’t look exactly like Mina, of course, but I’d had no idea , seeing as Sooah had commissioned the painting when she was pregnant. But Jungkook.... Jungkook looked exactly like he did now : Happy and at peace. 

“You’re alright, then?” I asked quietly , a wealth of meaning behind the words and he smiled , nodding gently. 

“I’m fine…” He whispered , “ And I’m so glad I can tell you that, like this. Thank you for coming , Heejin-ah . I know you owe me nothing but.. I wanted to show you that… it wasn’t all bad you know. What we went through… Something good did come out of it.” He whispered.

I choked out a sob.

“I lied.” I whispered. “ I did miss you. Even when I knew I shouldn’t.”

Jungkook’s gaze softened.

“I have a lot to be sorry for. But I don’t want to remind you of those things. I just want you to know that… I understand what you went through…those six months. I understand that it was difficult and painful and i… I’m grateful that you didn’t give up on me. And I’m grateful that you stayed in my life.  Because I know I didn’t deserve that.”

“You deserve to be loved Jungkook.” I said quietly. “ Its not wrong to move on. You deserve to… find happiness again.”

He stared at me, his gaze soft and gentle.

“I can almost believe it, when you say it that way.” He laughed. “ And… you know… I’m not sure if its love. But there’s someone I’ve been…. Well, I can sort of see myself with her. .” He grinned a little, smile boyish as he ran his fingers through his hair. He glanced at me and I felt my heart skip a beat.

Wait… was he going to?....

“ I met her at Taehyung’s practice, a year ago. Her name is Lee Hyorin.” Jungkook looked at me, doe eyes shining with excitement.

And just like that the world ended.

Or so it felt.

It was like being dipped in icy cold water, the shock of it rendering me speechless, lips parted and breath catching in lungs.

Blood rushed through my ears, so fast that I felt lightheaded, my legs nearly giving out. White noise filled my skull, pain lancing sharp through my heart like a thousand paper cuts, and I couldn’t really breathe. It took a few seconds…. For my heart to catch up with what my mind had just processed. And when it finally did, the pain was so excruciating, I had to clench my fists, nails digging into the flesh of my palm to ground myself.

“She’s an alpha…and she lost her husband around the same time Sooah passed..” Jungkook gave me a soft smile. “ She’s actually a curator at one of the museums here. She’s the one who made all the arrangements for me to move here to Florence. ”

“Wow… That’s…” devastating,. “ That’s good news. Jungkook.. I.. How long…” My voice cracked, and I had to swallow. “ How long have you guys been dating?”

“About three months now. We’re taking it very slow, because we aren’t really ready. She has a son too. He’s three years old. Mina loves him so that’s a plus.” He laughed.

My lungs constricted, breathing difficult and my head swam because ….. what. Realization set in so quickly, I was left reeling. I was in love with this bastard, I thought miserably. So in love with him that it felt like he was shredding my heart into ribbons. Every word of his mouth felt like a sharp deep stab, straight through the center of my heart and the pulsing, beating organ was on the verge of giving out.

“She’s going to be there at the dinner tonight at the Festival. She’s one of the organizers by the way. She’s kind of the reason I got in, I think.” He laughed , looking abashed and what a load of bull that was. Jungkook was successful and well known. Superbly talented at his chosen field. She was lucky to have him.

How can she have him when I’m the one who fixed him? How is that fucking fair?

“She really understands the things I’ve been going through, the past few months and because we both still attend therapy with Taehyung, we’re able to talk about a lot of stuff. Stuff I can’t share with others…” Jungkook was saying and I tuned him out, not wanting to hear another word.

I swallowed, choking on bile. I could feel sweat gathering on my scalp, my skin clammy and damp , the air between us shifting into something poisonous and filled with so much dismay, it was a miracle he hadn’t picked up on it.

Couldn’t he sense how distressed I was? Couldn’t he see how his words were hurting? Couldn’t he fucking see that I couldn’t live without him? Why on earth couldn’t he see me the way he apparently saw every other woman on the damn planet…..

Because he’s a shitty Alpha, I thought miserably, willing myself not to burst into tears. He was a shitty excuse for an alpha back then and he’s the same now.

A low, distressed cry began somewhere behind him and he jumped.

“Oh, shit she’s up… come on, Heejin.” He said with a bright smile, turning around and rushing down a small hallway and I willed myself to breathe in deeply, reminding myself that this wasn’t the end of the world. I could get through this. Besides, it was Mina.

Beautiful, perfect Mina who had been there for me. She would see me and she would give me that sweet gummy smile of hers, does eyes twinkling and I would get through this. Because her smile was what was important. Her smile and her joy and her happiness.

The sobbing had slowed down to small hiccups and I stepped past the threshold cautiously, watching as Jungkook bent over the large crib, carefully lifting her out and into his arms. She looked breathtaking, an absolutely gorgeous little girl . I stared, mesmerized as I stepped closer. My arms ached, and my chest tightened. Lips wobbling, I exhaled sharply, moving to reach for her.

She turned to glance at me and just as my fingers brushed her cheek, she recoiled.

Hard.

A loud wail tore through her tiny body and I felt my eyes go wide. Her casual little cry had turned into a sobbing , loud wail and I could smell the distress in her , the fear and distrust as she curled away from me.  Jungkook looked stunned as well, instinctively drawing her close and embracing her, moving away from me because….

Because I was the reason, she was distressed.  

My skin went ice cold at the revelation and I stumbled back, stunned.

“I… I’m sorry.” I choked out, confused and disoriented. Jungkook looked stricken, gently rocking her back and forth and she clung to him, gripping his shirt and I bit my lips, moving further back and I glanced at him, my heart shattering.

“She’s …She’s still sleepy… She doesn’t do well with strangers…” He said softly, looking upset, “ Maybe you could…wait outside…”

Stranger…. Was that what I was?

“I… I’ll go. I’ll just go.” I turned on my heel, rushing out of the door and struggling to breathe in air, my heart clenching so hard I was sure I was going to pass out. I felt my knees give out when I reached the couch, dropping down and drawing my knees up , wrapping my arms around my legs . I didn’t know how long I sat there, fighting sobs and choking on air…and when I finally came to myself, the sobs from the room had died out.

“She’s fallen asleep again.” Jungkook’s voice cut through the silence and I couldn’t bring myself to look up. I felt him move closer, felt his scent hit me as he stepped right up to me, kneeling on the floor in front of me.

I looked up at him, lips wobbling as I took in his handsome face.  A face that was so deeply carved into my heart and my soul, I couldn’t imagine living without it. Without him. The tears came then, helpless and endless and so painful.

He pressed in closer, cupping my face in his palms, thumb brushing the tears that spilled over so relentlessly.

“Heejin…” He whispered and I let my fingers curl around his wrist as his thumb kept brushing the curve of my cheeks. I took a deep , shaky breath .

“She doesn’t remember me….  “ I whispered, “ She doesn’t recognize me at all…She hates me……” I choked out , despair filling every last crevice of my insides, gut twisting as I remembered how Mina had twisted away from me, how her scent had soured in distress at the sight of me, at the touch of my fingers.

 And I wondered if it was different with this other woman..Hyorin, wasn’t it? Did Mina climb into her arms with ease? Did she curl into her chest and sleep? The way she used to with me,  when she was a month old and missing the warmth of a mother.. ….

All those nights spent in that tiny nursery, lying on the cold unforgiving floor, watching the rise and fall of Mina’s chest through the dark room…telling myself it was worth it… it was worth being touched against my will, worth being treated like filth by a man driven mad with grief and anger….all because of this baby…this tiny little baby who had needed me….

And now…she didn’t even know who I was…..worse…she was repulsed by the very sight of me… I couldn’t cope.

“Look at me…” Jungkook rasped, voice raw and cracking. “she doesn’t hate you, Heejin… she just … you feel new to her… different…” 

I shook my head, unable to think about anything beyond the sheer devastation that filled me, the way his daughter had pulled away and run, had refused to come anywhere near me. I realized with lancing pain that I’d wanted to see her, way more than I’d wanted to see Jungkook .

Because she was the reason I’d hung on for so long in that marriage which had been the biggest fucking mistake of my life…. the only reason I’d stuck around . Mina …Having her in my arms, her scent against my face, that had been the only genuine happiness I’d experienced  in a marriage filled with sheer , unending misery. 

“I… she… Why doesn’t she remember? “ I breathed, sagging into his arms, tears soaking his shoulders and his palm ran up and down my back.

“Because she was a baby. Heejin…. I left when she was a baby…”

“Why did you?” I snapped. “ Did it hurt you so much? The thought of living under the same sky as me ? Why you did you go?” I demanded.

Jungkook pulled back, hands coming up to grip my shoulder, holding me at arms length.

“Look at me.” He whispered. “ I had to … You know I had to go….I was hurting you. I was… I was draining you of life. Destroying you… “

Jungkook’s words reminded me of who he was. Of who I was… Of who I was to him.

I choked out, sobbing.

“I hate you. You treated me like scum. Like a crutch….. Like some sort of tool to get better and you just left… you…”

You found someone better. You broke me down and now you’ve gone and found someone better….because I was never good enough for you… I was never someone you could love….

“I had to let you go. I had to end that relationship because it was tainted with so much grief and anger and selfishness and greed. I knew that anything I did afterwards would be tainted by my actions… I… I had to make amends, Heejin. And do you think for a second, that it wasn’t the hardest thing I ever did? That walking out on you wasn’t one of the most devastating things I’ve ever experienced? But I did it for us… for this…” 

I stared at him.

“And what is this?” I asked brokenly.

“This is me, being able to touch you like this.” Jungkook pressed a palm to my cheek, “ And not feeling guilt or sadness or grief or loss.  I did it so we could have this…this… This thing where I can look at you and hold you and see that you’re healing. That you’re doing better… That you’re living the life you want…. That you’re happy. This is me standing here , in front of you and smiling because I’m happy too. Happy that you’re here.  ” He exhaled, “ I’m happy that despite all the hurt we’ve been through for and because of each other, I can look at you now and tell you, honestly, that I’m glad to see you.” 

What a joke.. What a fucking joke.

I smiled shakily.

“Well… “ I said softly, my stomach churning because I was done. Done with him and mostly with myself. “ Isn’t that absolutely wonderful.”

His gaze softened and he smiled.

“I want us to be friends, Heejinah. Even though we don’t see or talk to each other, I think of you often. And when Mina’s old enough to understand , I’ll tell her all about you… I want you in our lives. You’re a friend. ”

I stared at him , feeling the words echo in my skull . It left an acrid taste on my senses, the way he put me into this neat little box, friend. So ….insignificant. Everyone had hundreds of friends. There was nothing even remotely special about being someone’s friend.

Friend just meant replaceable and forgettable. And just like Mina didn’t remember me…. Someday Jungkook wouldn’t either. The knowledge filled my veins spreading all over my body and leaving a fierce, heavy ache in my chest.

It was my fault, I thought despondently. My fault because I had been an idiot.

Jungkook was the sane one here , I thought miserably. These nine months, while I’d been dwelling on him and worrying for him…he had done the healthy thing , by moving on with someone he could actually envision a future with….

What had I done, these past nine months? Dreamt up a fantasy world where somehow we found our way back to each other and built a life together… It seemed so foolish now, in the light of Jungkook’s words and his confession….

Jungkook had done all of this, not for me…but for himself. For his daughter whom he loved and for his wife , whose memory he wanted to honor. And perhaps it was my own delusion that made me think that I’d played some stellar role in his healing…. Maybe if I hadn’t been there, he would have gotten better just the same…. Maybe I hadn’t been a tool …as much as a hindrance …to his healing.

I shook my head, bitterness coating my tongue.

“I should get going.” I whispered , voice shaking.

This is it, I told myself. This is the last time you look at him with that heaviness in your heart. You deserve better. You deserve… a lot of things. And just because people don’t give it to you doesn’t mean you have to settle for less……

“So soon? Hyorin will be back in a couple of hours… I could show you some of my work, and we could get lunch ….”

I shook my head quickly. I didn’t want to meet her in his home. Didn’t want to see him being domestic and affectionate and …normal with her when all I’d ever seen was Jungkook in his anger and grief, either yelling abuses or gripping me with a lust that was tainted with violence and rage. I stared at his hands, the ones I’d liked holding….

How did I forget? That those were the same hands that had held me down and done things that should, rightfully have landed him in prison?

I shook my head, to clear the images out of my head. Looking at him now,  Jungkook looked eager, happy and healed. And I realized that he’d just pushed all of his own actions out of his mind. Forgotten all about it. And that was fair. He probably didn’t even remember any of it. He had been drunk out of his mind, lost in his head and surely, forgetting must’ve been easy… A relief.

I didn’t begrudge him that.

But…

I hadn’t been drunk. I’d been stone cold sober under him on that bed and so, maybe forgetting didn’t come that easily for me. And I was glad that Jungkook could move on and be happy but….

But I couldn’t stay here and pretend that it was the same for me. I wasn’t happy or healed, I thought miserably. And maybe , maybe the sight of him moving on was a sign that I had to stop thinking that healing meant going back to him and his daughter.

“Heejin… What’s wrong? Is it because of Mina.. she’s just not used to…” He began but I quickly pressed a palm to his chest, smiling.

“Strangers.” I said softly. “ I know. That’s not it… You know I have to introduce my exhibit at dinner tonight. I don’t know what the itinerary is or what I’m supposed to say…. None of it.. I need to meet my agent and prep myself a bit. Its alright…I’ll see you tonight.” I said softly.

“I’m sorry… I can’t walk you back because Mina-“

“Of course. Don’t worry about it…. I’ll just…”

The doorbell rang, startling me.

“Jungkook!” A strong voice called out and I went still.

“Hyorin?” Jungkook’s face lit up and I felt my stomach churn. God, the universe really was against me wasn’t it? Sighing in defeat, I wrapped my arms around myself, sitting back down on the couch and waiting.

Behind me , I could hear hushed whispers, soft laughter and shuffling feet. My mouth went dry.

“Ms. Kim….”

I turned around, greeted by the sight of a tall, strapping young woman, pretty by any standards. She was dressed in a pant suit , her hair long and straight, hitting the top of her shoulders. She looked smart… Important.

“Ms. Lee… Its nice to meet you.”

She held her hand out and I shook it gently.  Jungkook smiled at her fondly and his phone rang from somewhere inside the studio.

“Hang on that’s probably Soeun…” He smiled at me and moved away and I watched him leave before shifting my gaze to Hyorin, who was staring down at me with a small smile.

“Are you here in Italy by yourself? Or with one of your many …uh… patrons ?” She smirked.

I blinked.

“Patrons?” I asked softly. “ Excuse me?”

“Jungkook and I’ve been following all the stories about you, back in Korea. You get around quite a lot… don’t you? Every alpha within a 100 mile radius wants a piece of the lovely Kim Heejin… And honestly, could anyone blame them? You look exquisite.”

I stared at her, stunned. The implication was so obvious that I would be an idiot not to realize what she was hinting at. So this was the woman , Jungkook chose? Yet another prejudiced bigot?

I laughed a bit, feeling my heart sink.

“I’m not seeing anyone. If that’s what you’re asking.” I said quietly.

Hyorin smirked at that.

“Of course you aren’t… We all know that isn’t really something your kind does… monogamy, right?”

“Do you have a problem with me Hyorin ssi?” I asked roughly and she laughed.

“Oh come on.. we’re all adults, here. And Heejin, you  agreed to be a part of this festival, knowing full well, that’s what we think . Its because deep down you know I’m right….. Omegas can’t stay with one alpha. They need sex to survive and they are usually open to it with anyone. Not that I’m blaming you or judging you for it. It’s just how you’re built.”

I smiled wide, ignoring the urge to claw at her face. .

“Well, you’ve definitely got me all figured out haven’t you? “ I shook my head, glancing at Jungkook who was making his way over.

“What are you talking about?” He asked curiously and I smiled, glancing at her.

“ Hyorin ssi was just telling me how my sub gender makes it impossible for me to not go around whoring with every alpha I see…….” I glanced at him and Jungkook straightened, looking stunned, “ Well, I hope you two enjoy your beautiful monogamous relationship with each other something an omega like me can only fantasize about…. Right Jungkook?” I smiled and he looked completely lost.

“Wait…What? Hyorin what did you say?” He demanded and she was glaring at me now.

“Please don’t take it personally, I was only talking about omegas in general. “ Hyorin frowned, before bowing and moving away to stalk off in the direction of the bedrooms and I watched her, feeling dirty and terrible.

“Heejin, ignore her.. she’s just old fashioned and-“

“Is that what you’re going to call it?” I snapped and Jungkook froze.

“Heejin…”

I shook my head in disbelief.

“I’m not upset about what she said. I’m upset that she feels comfortable enough, spouting that bullshit to me , in your house. Makes me wonder what else she’s told you about omegas, and how much of it you probably agreed with.”

Jungkook stared at me , lips parted.

“I… I don’t feel that way. You know that.” He said stiltedly.

“Do I? All I know is that she knows about me, about who I am and apparently, she can call me a slut…. In front of you, without worrying about it upsetting you. And that tells me you’re as much of a bigot as she is.”

“Heejin… You know that’s not it. We all grow up being fed certain things and –“

“But you did grow up right?” I snapped. “ you grew up and you can think and act for yourself. As can she. Once you’re an adult, you don’t have a single fucking excuse for being racist or homophobic or bigoted because being an adult means having the ability to unlearn the toxic things you’ve been taught and relearn how to be a decent fucking human.”

I shook my head as he stared at me.

“And you know what…please just… just don’t call me or consider me as a friend.” I laughed. “ Because I don’t think I can consider you one. Not anymore. You can’t…...You can’t just love certain parts of me and be disgusted by others you know? I don’t need a friend who can care about me and love me and help me as long as he can forget that I’m an omega….. I need a friend who can love every jagged, broken , part of me. Who can call out people who talk bullshit at me , who can look someone in the eye and tell them they’re wrong when they’re calling me names  and that’s not who you are……. You’re not it.” I snapped.

Jungkook looked stricken, reaching out to hold me and I stepped away, annoyed.

“I’m sorry, Heejin, you’re right … I’ll talk to her… I’ll…” He began but I shook my head.

“Whatever.  Just don’t call me a friend. We can’t be friends. Let’s just be what we always were , yeah? A big fucking mistake that never should have happened.”

I stormed out of the door, shaking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you mean, there are no flights available for today?” I snapped. “Tell them money isn’t an issue. I need to get out of this place right now.”

Minho looked incredibly stricken, hair messy from how often he’d run his fingers through.

“ We just arrived seven hours ago, Hee. Of course there’s no flight yet…. We can stay another day…attend the dinner and-“

“No.” I snapped. “ Absolutely not. I’m not here because they find my art good  or worth putting up. I’m here because they know the alphas around here will want to pay more , to pour in more cash for a chance with me.” I held the embossed booklet up, waving it in his face.

“Heejin…” He protested but I shook my head.

“ Did you see the cost to get into my pane ?. Extra ….for alphas? And yet…apparently they had to pre book it and its filled? You think any of the lecherous bastards who paid money to see me , gives a shit about my art?  And apparently, there’s a meet and greet, for alphas only if they purchase seven or more paintings worth over 10000 Euros. Do you think, that’s what I’m worth?”

Minho looked down at his shoes, ashamed.

“I .. I’m sorry, Hee. You’re right. Its offensive . And an insult to your art and talent. We shouldn’t have come here, you’re right. And I regret it… But just… give me a few hours, yeah? I’ll find a way to get us out of here….”

I exhaled sharply, exhaustion weighing heavy on my head. I felt like I’d taken a pounding, physically and mentally and I wondered how a day that had started so well, could go so wrong, so fast…

Shaking my head, I trudged wearily to the elevator, knocking on the buttons before sagging against the wall, letting my eyes flutter shut.

Jungkook was dating.

Jungkook was dating. His girlfriend thought I was a slut and here I was about to prove her right.

I wanted to slit someone’s throat.

Sighing, I watched the door slide open, grabbing my keys out of my bag,  and moving to the suite. I opened the door before making a beeline for the bed. I collapsed on the soft duvet, groaning. I was torn between wanting to call Taehyung to yell at him about Jungkook and calling Minho to demand an update on the flights.

I was spared the dilemma when the phone in the room rang. Groaning, I moved to swat at the phone, turning on the speaker.

“Ms. Kim? There’s a Mr. Jeon here to see you?”

I blinked, feeling disbelief swell inside me. Did he not get the hint?

Annoyed, I sat up.

“Send him up.” I said, in no mood to go all the way down to see him.

“Up?” She sounded surprised, “ To your room?”

“Yes. To my room. Is that a fucking problem?” I growled, annoyed.

“Not at all Ms. Kim. He’ll be right up.”

I got out of bed, shrugging off my jacket and taking off my dress as well. It was a little damp because I’d sweated through the fabric. I grabbed one of my oversized t shirts , slipping it on and moving to open the door before retreating back to the inner room. Feeling annoyed, I walked up to the vanity and grabbed the hair brush, running the bristles through my locks. I heard his footsteps outside and stiffened.

“If you’re here to defend your shitty girlfriend, you can just leave Jungkook. I swear to God, I’ve had enough of this.” I shouted. He didn’t reply and my hackles rose.

“Listen, I’m sorry if I said something harsh-“ I froze when I reached the doorway, staring at the man in front of me. He had a large , almost humongous bouquet of wild orchids and roses in his hand and I stared at his face.  

This was definitely not Jungkook.

“Umm… hi.” The man bowed awkwardly, his gaze going straight to my legs, where my t shirt ended, just a couple of inches past my waist. I felt the blood rush to my face.

“Who are you…Get out !!!” I shouted, horrified, diving for my jacket and holding it up against my bare thighs. The man held both his hands up, eyes wide..

“I’m sorry… I… you said I could come up to your room….” He protested and I scowled, confused.

“What? “ I stared, stunned… “ Who…what?”

“I’m Wonwoo. Jeon Wonwoo. I’m uh….one of the sponsors for this festival. And a fan. Huge fan.” He was staring at me beseechingly and I felt my head begin to throb.

The sheer relentlessness of this day…..

“I… Mr. Jeon…” So weird, God, “ There’s been a misunderstanding. I’m not…. I thought you were someone else.”

“Jungkook yes…your ex husband, right? You were married to him for six months after he lost his wife….. He’s also one of the artists exhibiting their work here.” He nodded quickly, running long fingers through thick glossy hair, lips parting in a hesitant smile and I stared at him.

“How do you know all that? ” I demanded, heart pounding. He immediately held his hands up again.

“I’m sorry… I sound like a stalker, shit. But Trust me I’m not. I just am a huge fan.. I looked up some stuff about you….before.” He shuffled a bit awkwardly, finally looking up at me.

I tried to catch his scent. No scent to speak of. A beta then. Relaxing just a bit, I swallowed. At least I wasn’t in any immediate danger. But still, I had no intention of letting him see me in nothing but a t shirt. Embarrassed, I gripped the jacket tighter.

“Why are you here?” I demanded angrily, taking in his appearance. He didn’t look like a hoodlum or someone dangerous. He was good looking, dressed in a white t shirt and black Jacket over plain black slacks. His shoes looked expensive and I didn’t miss the shiny Rolex on his wrist either,.

“Well, for one thing I own the Hotel.” He chuckled and that made my stomach turn. “And also like I said, I’m one of the main sponsors for the Festival itself.”

“Right.” I was too disoriented to process this, head throbbing. “Of course. Is there a reason why you wanted to see me?”

“I was downstairs…just now… I couldn’t help but overhear you with your agent. You wanted to leave as soon as possible. To pull out of the event and I’m just here to try and change your mind, Ms. Kim.” He smiled earnestly and I realized he was really quite young.

I sighed.

“Could you… Could you wait outside? I want to put some clothes on before we talk any further.” I said tiredly and he bowed quickly.

“Uh… These…I’ll just leave these here.” He placed the large bunch of flowers on the table before quickly leaving the room and I swore, racing to the suitcase in the corner. I quickly grabbed a pair of jeans, slipping them on hastily and zipping myself up before glancing at the mirror again. This would have to do.

I moved to the door and opened it, finding him right there, looking lost.

“I… come in, please.” I said hesitantly and he bowed again, moving in and waiting for me to close the door and take a seat on the couch, before sinking into an arm chair across from me.

“Did you see the itinerary? It doesn’t get more sexualized than this.” I waved the booklet and he flushed.

“I understand you’re upset about … certain things. I’m sorry that you feel objectified , in the festival. It wasn’t the intention I had when I first told Hyorin and the others that I wanted them to invite you. But , I’ve been busy the past month, and I didn’t go over the complete agenda. If I did, I definitely would have made sure that you were treated with just as much respect as the others. Unfortunately, there’s not much I can do now, but I’ve had a word with all of the panelists and also the hosts. We won’t entertain any question or comments of a sexual nature and if anyone tries to insinuate anything , I’ll have them removed from the panel myself. “ He said firmly.

“I’m only here because you told me you would exhibit my mother’s works too.” I said sharply and he bowed.

“ Your mother’s works are just as exquisite and I’ve arranged for them to be displayed right at the center of the arena, with a running slide show of her childhood , her art technique and the great love she had for her daughter.” He said firmly.

I could only stare. He sounded incredibly sincere and there was no mistaking the earnestness in his tone.

“I’m….” I bit my lips, “  Listen, Mr. Jeon, I’m flattered but honestly, I never wanted to be here. I… there was … something else that made me want to come and well, that turned out to be a huge mistake. To be honest, I’m not sure if I have it in me to suffer through days of people treating me like I’m some kind of sex crazed bimbo.” I shook my head.

“how about this.? You let me be your date for tonight and you let me display your work, today at the dinner itself. I’ll be right by your side. And then, I’ll have my private jet on standby and we can fly back to Korea. You deserve the spotlight, Heejin and I want people to see how good you are at what you do. I don’t care if I lose money over this… As long as you’re comfortable. ”

I gawked at him, stunned.

“Private Jet?” I choked out. “ Okay, now I’m genuinely concerned.”

He laughed.

“I’m a Hotelier, and I have properties all over the world and I like to inspect them personally most of the time. Its more practical to have a private jet than to try and align my schedules with everyone else.” He smiled.

“Right. Convenient.” I shook my head. “ I’m no stranger to excessive wealth, Mr. Jeon and trust me, it’s always left a  sour taste in my mouth.”

“I don’t flaunt my wealth, Ms. Kim. These clothes? Got them on the streets of Florence. I drive a Mazda. Wealth has no meaning to me. People do. People like you, who bring beauty into the world with their craft. You’ve made my world beautiful and I just want to repay , in some way.” He smiled,  “ Also,  You’re very  beautiful.” He added and then immediately looked away. “ I’m sorry. That was… dumb . I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”

Endeared against my own wishes, I found myself fighting a small smile.

“Just tonight’s dinner?” I asked quietly.

“Just the dinner party.” He assured me quickly.

“Alright. But I’m not getting into any private Jet. My agent will book me tickets and I’ll find my way back to Korea.”

“As you wish. I’ll pick you up at seven. What color is your dress?” He asked casually and I blinked.

“Uh… Wine red? I guess? Why?”

He grinned, looking boyishly handsome.

“I’ll see you at seven, Ms. Kim.”

He bowed, before pausing by the bouquet. He grabbed a couple of  flowers, holding them up for me to see.  

“Daffodils and Lilacs.” He grinned, “ To finding something new to love. And to new beginnings.”

Wow.

Subtle.

I shook my head, momentarily forgetting all about Jungkook as I grinned all the way back to the bedroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I told you… coming with me will earn you major points.” Wonwoo smirked as he pulled me in by my waist , holding my dress up for me as I stared at the sleek black limousine at the Hotel entrance. I watched as he held my wrist gently, latching a string of sterling silver and red rubies around the delicate curve of it.

“This is too lavish…I don’t want this…Who are you?” I demanded, flushing because of the way the flashes went off in every direction, reporters scrambling when they caught sight of him. He was clearly popular, if the number of photos being clicked were any indication. I regretted everything.

Wonwoo pressed a kiss to my wrists, right near the bracelet and gently placed my palm on the curve of his elbow, leading me over to the car and I watched the chauffeur open the door for us.  

“ Someone who can get anyone here fired. Be careful , sweetheart.” I watched in mute horror as he bent low, picking up the hem of my skirt so I wouldn’t trip, while climbing into the limousine. The reporters began whispering excitedly and more flashes went off . My face completely red, I hastened to climb in.

“These people look at you like you’re some kind of King.” I stared out of the tinted windows seeing the sheer multitude of people and Wonwoo chuckled.

“ That’s because I am. At least for tonight. And that’s why I’m the perfect guy to protect you Heejin. They’re all terrified of me.” He winked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook found me, fifteen minutes into the event. I hung by the large archway, near an alcove, sipping champagne and nibbling on some hors d’oeuvre as people threw glances at me. I noticed the conspicuous lack of a date on his arm and straightened, sighing and bracing myself for more unpleasantness as he picked his way through the crowd, eyes trained on me.

“Can we talk?” He said, the minute he was at hearing distance and I exhaled.

“No.” I said casually and he made a noise of impatience.

“Fucking, hell Heejin..just…” He swore again, looking upset. “ Why are you doing this to me? What do you want from me huh?”

I stared at him in disbelief.

“What do I want from you? Oh, fuck off Jungkook. I want nothing from you.” I snapped, turning on my heel, ready to leave but his hand shot out, gripping me right above my elbow, fingers curling in hard.

“Fuck.. listen. I don’t know what she said to you. I .. I’m sorry if she offended you…. Alright? She’s an alpha… I can’t change the way she thinks…”

“I didn’t ask you to. I merely said that if you associate yourself with people who think I’m scum, I won’t let you into my life. Because I respect myself too much for that.” I said firmly.

“She doesn’t think you’re scum, Heejin come on. She just has some misconceptions about certain things.”

“God, Jungkook…just stop. Alright? Stop. Because I’m not asking you do anything. I’m leaving on a flight tomorrow morning and you’ll never see me again. That’s all there is to it.”

He froze at that, fingers curling harder around my arm and it hurt, the skin turning red. Stupid fucker, never knew his own strength.

“Ow, Jungkook let go.” I whispered, and he did, albeit reluctantly.

I rubbed at the bruised skin, furious. I watched as the redness healed over, the pain fading to a throb and then into a pleasant heat and I hated it. Hated that being an omega meant that Jungkook’s rough touch turned to pleasure on my skin.

“What do you mean you’re leaving tomorrow? The Festival is for two weeks.”

I sighed.

“I didn’t come here for the festival. I came here to see you. To see if you were as hung up on me as I was on you…but apparently not.” I snapped.

Jungkook went perfectly still at that.

“What the fuck does that mean?” He said softly and I laughed, shaking my head.

“Wow. You really never even considered it huh? Us? Together.?” It wasn’t funny at all, but I could only laugh. Probably because I’d been so sure.. So certain that there was something there.

He opened his mouth to answer but I felt a warm solidness behind me, an arm wrapping around my waist and a second later, Wonwoo was there pressing up against me.

“Jungkook-ssi… Such a pleasure to meet you.” He held his hand out, and Jungkook frowned, his eyes trained on where wonwoo’s fingers curled around my waist.

“Get your hands off her.” He said shortly and Wonwoo blinked, pulling away from me and stepping back .

“What the-? No. Fuck you.” I snapped, glaring at Jungkook before grabbing Wonwoo’s hand and bringing it back around me. “Don’t you fucking dare take your hands off.” I held my finger up at his face and Wonwoo looked momentarily stunned.

“Really, Heejin? You’re doing this?” Jungkook glared at me. “ We need to talk.”

“So talk.” I snapped. “ Tell me why you think a bigoted bitch is the best you can do in terms of dating. Tell me why she’s the only one who can ‘ understand’ “ I made air quotes, shaking my head, “ You think you and your shitty have monopoly on grief Jungkook? I’ve lost people too. Just because I haven’t screwed other people over because of it, doesn’t make my grief invalid….yeah.”

Ringing silence followed and I regretted everything.

“Fuck.” I whispered, shaking my head. “ I .. Shit. I need to get out of here.”

I pulled away from Wonwoo, moving out of the huge ballroom and Jungkook was right behind me, of course he was.

“Heejin…fuck. Wait. You’re right. I didn’t mean to imply that you didn’t understand me. Of course you did. Its why you stuck around… I know that. And you’re right, she had no business talking about you like that. I’ll have a word with her… But…”

I sped up, wanting to get away but he grabbed me again, tugging me closer out of the hall way and into a darkened alcove and I flinched when he pushed me up against the wall, caging me in, as he pressed in closer.

“What did you mean by that?” He demanded, hands coming up to grip my waist, curling gently and my chest heaved at the touch of him, the enclosed space making his scent turn potent, strong and impossible to avoid. My nostril flared as I breathed him in, familiar and yet so foreign, comforting and yet so fucking dangerous.

“By what?” I snapped and his hands moved up, shaping the curves of my body , thumb grazing the tip of my breast and making me jump, before moving up, gripping my face, gently. He pressed his thumb into my lower lip, rubbing back and forth, face impossibly close and I swallowed, throat sandpaper dry.

“About us? Together….” He breathed and I exhaled shakily.

“You know what I meant.” I whispered. “ If you don’t then I can’t explain it.” I whispered and he swore, head dropping against mine, forehead resting against mine, and lips less than a hairsbreadth away.

We’ve never kissed, I thought suddenly. I licked my lips, turning my face away but his fingers gripped my chin at once, yanking me around to stare at him again.

“Look at me, baby. Tell me… You thought about us together?” He whispered .

I breathed shakily.

“Of course I did…. “ I snapped.

“Then clearly therapy isn’t working for you.” He snapped right back and I flinched.

“What-“

Jungkook pulled away staring at me.

“ Do you even remember all the shit I did to you?” He asked quietly. My stomach dropped.

“Jungkook.”

“I broke your ribs.” He said calmly. I swallowed.

“That.. That was an accident. You didn’t mean to.” I protested. “ And we’re past all that… I don’t… I don’t blame you for it.” I said, which was honest enough.

“And what about the nights I got drunk, Heejin….” He said softly and my skin went cold.

“That… That was just… It was just an outlet for your grief… “ I looked away and he scoffed.

“You’re calling it an outlet for grief. I believe the world calls it rape.”

I felt my entire body shiver at the word , moving up to wrap my arms around his neck, trying to pull him close but he was stiff as a board.

“ Don’t” I snapped. “ Don’t …. Its over…it’s in the past.”

“It was still me. I was the one who did it and I can’t… I can’t pretend it didn’t happen.”

I pulled away to glare at him.

“So , what? You won’t give us a chance because of something I’ve already forgiven you for?”

“Yes.” He said shortly. “ Because you may have forgiven me, but I haven’t forgiven myself.”

I felt my body sag in disbelief.

“Jungkook that’s-“

“You deserve better. You always have. I’m not… I don’t deserve someone like you Heejin. You’re kind and breathtaking and I’m just… a broken mess of a man who’s barely getting by.”

“Oh, right… So broken.” I scoffed. “ You’re on the front page of magazines, you have a successful career and a beautiful girlfriend,,,,forgive me if I’m not breaking my heart over your failures.”

Jungkook exhaled shakily before looking up at me.

“  You wanna know the truth about me, Heejin-ah?” He swallowed. “ I just got out of rehab last week.”

I went still.

“What?” I was sure I’d misheard.

“I… I came here and about a month or so in…I started drinking again…” He glanced away and my heart turned over inside me.

“Jungkook, what?” I demanded, horrified.

“I got drunk and got into an argument with a cop. I hit him. They found out I was a single father and-“ He shook his head, “ I got arrested for disorderly conduct , Public intoxication and assault.”

I stared at him in disbelief, unable to keep the disappointment out of my tone.

“ Arrested for assault... Jungkook why?” I breathed and he flushed.

“I know…. It was stupid.. I… I was stupid.” He said softly.  “Soeun isn’t a baby sitter. She’s a social worker. She’s here to keep an eye on me because they want to make sure I’m not a threat to Mina. If I slip up, they’ll deport me back home and then the state will likely take her away from me. Soeun likes me….so she agreed to lie to you ……And as for the girlfriend…” He laughed, shaking his head, “ Hyorin broke up with me after I got arrested. We’re not… We’re not dating. She was only there to get some prints for the panel tomorrow.” He finished shakily.

I stared at him.

“Why?” I demanded . “ Why would you lie to me… Jungkook ….”

“Because I didn’t want you to think I was a screw up.” He said shakily. “ I know I’m supposed to be getting better and I have but… But sometimes I just…I miss…. I miss home. “ He shuddered. “ And you.”  He looked up at me. “ I miss you a lot, Heejin and it hurts and I feel like the only way I can forget about you…about us together is if I drink. And I’m sorry. I know I don’t have the right to miss you, not after everything I put you through but I… it’s how I feel. ” He glanced away, trembling a little.

I wrapped my arms around myself, stepping away, feeling myself go cold.

We stayed quiet for a few seconds, both of us staring at the floor lost in our own thoughts. I felt drained. Miserably so. Like someone had sucked all the strength out of me. I realized how badly I had wanted Jungkook to be okay. To heal and be himself again. And I’d spent the last nine months, fully convinced that he was. That he was doing what he loved, bonding with his daughter building a life for himself.

But apparently, he was also spiraling back into addiction as well.

It was like we were back in that apartment, both of us miserable  but desperate to be something we clearly were not : Okay.

“Does Taehyung know?” I asked finally and Jungkook hesitated before nodding.

“He was at my court hearing three weeks ago. He’s the reason I haven’t already lost her.” Jungkook whispered.

“What did he say?”

“He thinks I should come back to Korea.” Jungkook said quietly. “ He wants me to start therapy again with him. Every week. “

I nodded.

“Fair enough. And what do you think?”

“I think I will. My probation ends in three days. I’ll… I’ll start making arrangements afterwards. I’ll probably be back in a few weeks time. ”

I stared at him, finally seeing the things I hadn’t noticed this morning. The shadows beneath his eyes, the worry lines on his brow. I wondered if he would have ever told me the truth, if not for this little confrontation between us.

Silence descended again and I bit my lips, a million thoughts running through my head. I felt the pull of his scent through it all, an instinctive urge to reach out and touch and draw him close and I wondered if this was it. That for the rest of our lives we would just be drawn to each other, reluctant and hurt but unable to stay away.

“You’re leaving tomorrow then?” He asked quietly breaking through the fog in my head.  

“Well obviously not.” I snapped. “ I’m not leaving you. I’ll tell Minho, we’ll be staying here for a few weeks. Do you actually have a possible job back home? If you don’t I can ask my agent to find one for you….”

Jungkook was staring at me like I’d grown an extra head.

“ What?” I asked roughly.

He swallowed.

“No.. I .. I don’t have a job there.”

“We’ll get you one. And my apartment is big enough so you can stay with me till we find you a place of your own. And I think it’ll actually be good for you, because there’s a Fine Art photographer, pretty well know guy who stays just a few blocks away and e can probably- “

“You haven’t really changed have you?” Jungkook cut me off in the middle of my rambling .

I flushed, looking away.

“What do you mean?”

“Back when we were married… it was just like this.. I’d fuck up and do something awful and you’d just take it all in stride, get ready to help me out of it….”

“I don’t know what you mean…” I said quickly, “ Let’s go back to the party we’ll talk later-“

He grabbed both my arms, pulling me back to face him when I tried to get past him and I yelped, staring up at him in surprise.

“What?” I demanded. “ What is it now?”

“How do you do this thing, Heejin ?” He asked roughly. “ How do you just get ready to clean up every fucking mess I make like it doesn’t hurt you? Like I don’t hurt you?”

“What are you talking about?” I tried to wriggle out of his hold but he tugged me closer.

“How do you just…” He shook his head, “ accept me so unconditionally? Like… Its like no matter what I do, you’re just willing to look past it and I don’t fucking understand Heejin… why do you put up with me, damn it?”

I stared right at him. Caught his gaze and held it, refusing to look away.

“You know why.” I whispered, licking my lips, throat dry,  “ And if you don’t…. I’m not going to tell you.”

His eyes widened , lips parting and he exhaled sharply, before letting me go and stepping away.

He looked away, shaking a little and I sighed.

“Let’s just get this night over with, yeah?” I said quietly. “ and then we’ll talk.”

He didn’t reply, merely standing aside and motioning for me to leave first.

I shook my head, moving to grip his arm instead.

“Together.” I said firmly. “ We’ll get this night over with, together.”

 Author’s Note : i love these two. i’ve never wanted two people to be together so much. 

@taeshuworld  .@girlinthemikrokosmos  @xius-exos  @sugainfireslex  @yunkichiee@kpopstudybee @ephyraaaa  @peachoney9795 @ggukkieland  @veronawrites  @blr1004   @tinyhoagiepartylover @btsis7okay @squishyjk  @itsdingdong @emmmui  @honeeybunneey  @yeonkiminnie @just-me-and-myselfs  @delicate-snow-flake  @kpop-lore  @beautifulvirgobutterfly @sumzysworld  @btsmylife21  @teresaisla .@melrosaeparker @taestannie @dchimminie  @ meraki–life  @somewhereinthestates  @mawwnsterr  @kookiesbreaky  @chimchoom  

@namjooningelsewhere  @itsdingdong  @ungodlyjoon  @caratarmy131  

@ladyartemesia  @hardggukk @iliveforjin  @loveemariee

@unicornbabylover  @dchimminie  @nope2214   @landl7xoxo

@mrcleanheichou  @kayteekat @wassup-haeyadwae   @natgba   @nikkiordonez12    @neverthefirstchoice  @btsssssfiction  

@mylittlestrangeandsweetworld   @kookiesxbananamilk     @lovra974   @supernoonanyc  @kokoandkookie​  

#bts smut #bts smut fic #bts fics #bts fanfic #friends to lovers bts au #jungkook abo #jungkook smut

[kelieah]

Tom taking care of a tired and frustrated you, like him cuddling u or showering u with kisses or practically babying you n eventually u fall asleep in his lap with your head in his neck n he carries u to bed, just very fluffy fluffy!! 💙

just us (tom holland x reader)

word count: 1.3k

warnings: fluuffff, mentions of sex, language, tom being a div

edited: kind of a shitty ending, and kinda rushed agh, sorry 

a/n: love this ideaaa, just going to somehow tie in the reader’s birthday into this hehe

tom holland masterlist

Last year, Tom planned a big birthday party for you, inviting your friends, his friends, coworkers, and family. It was crazy. Personally, you hated being in the spotlight so although you appreciated his efforts, you didn’t enjoy yourself as much as you wanted to. So this year, you’ve been trying hard to avoid the topic of plans for your birthday. You also really hoped no one would plan a surprise birthday party.

You wake up to the sight of Tom walking into your bedroom, with a stack of pancakes and a candle in the middle. His face is painted with excitement and warmth, and you couldn’t help but smile at the sight. “Happy birthday, sleepyhead,” he whispers and sits down next to you, leaning in to kiss your cheek.

You smile tiredly and look at the plate of food, tearing up at how cutely decorated it is. “Tommy,” you sniffle and pout at him.

“Oh, baby,” he laughs and places the plate aside, pulling you into his arms.

After he picked you up and brought you to the kitchen to eat breakfast, the two of you began to get ready for the day. You let out a quiet sigh as you smoothed down your dress against your body, your mind swirling with thoughts about whether or not you should be honest to Tom about the big parties and all.

“I heard that sigh,” you hear Tom come up from behind you and snake his arms around your waist. He rests his chin on your shoulder and glances at you in the mirror, “Are you okay?”

You nod and place your hands on top of his, swaying with him as he hugs you close. “Perfectly okay.”

“I’ve known you for how many years?” he asks rhetorically and raises an eyebrow for dramatic effect. Accepting your silence as an answer, he nods and confirms it himself, “Right, five years and you think I don’t know you well? I’m honestly offended love.”

“Shut up,” you groan and tilt your head back, looking up at him as he gazes down at you. “I’m just tired, that’s all.”

“I have a feeling I know what’s upsetting you,” he brings his hands down to your waist and squeezes it.

“Well, then what is it?” you huff.

“I actually didn’t know I was just bluffing to see if you’re really upset,” he admits sheepishly as you gape at him. “Now I know! Babe, what’s wrong?” he holds up his hands in defeat and lets go of you.

You grumble quietly at the loss of his touch and shrug, turning to face him. “I was joking. I’m just tired.”

“You slept for ten hours,” he points out.

You send him a glare, “Because you fucked me all day yesterday.”

“Valid point,” he nods and purses his lips, laughing as you groan loudly with frustration. He follows you as you rush off to your bedroom, “Darling, you know I’m only teasing. Come on, it’s your birthday. I want you to be able to do whatever you want to do. If you want to sleep all day, so be it.”

“Oh really?” you amuse and turn back around while plopping down onto your mattress.

“Yes, really,” he stands in front of you, holding out his hands for you to grasp.

Reluctantly, you hold his hands and look into his eyes, noticing how he is desperately trying to read you. “I’m sorry,” you bring your lips to the back of his hand. “I really am tired, but it’s no excuse to be a bitch.”

“You’re not being a bit—”

“In all honesty, I just really am not looking forward to having a big party.”

“Who said we’re doing that?” he interrupts causing you to give him a deadpanned stare.

“I know you well too. It’s not much of a surprise when I can hear you planning in the closet. You’re not that sly, Holland,” you feel a smirk grow onto your lips.

He scoffs, still trying to dismiss your accusations. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Honey, if you don’t wanna have a big party or a party at all, we don’t have to. Like I said, we can do whatever you want. Even if you just want the entire to yourself, just let me know,” he lifts you up and pulls you close to him.

You eye him suspiciously and drape your arms over his shoulders, “So, you’re basically telling me now that there’s no big surprise party being prepared this minute?”

“Nope,” he smiles at you confidently and tucks a hair behind your ear. “Your day is free.”

You feel all the weights lift off your shoulder and you let out a quiet satisfied sigh. You lean your forehead against his chest and press your lips together. “I just want to spend the day with you and you only. Well, maybe a bunch of food too, but you know. Just us.”

“Yeah, I know,” he chuckles lightly and presses a long, tender kiss on the top of your head. “That sounds perfect, how about we go for lunch or order in. Watch some movies, maybe go to the park and when the sun settles, we could cook a meal together? Then maybe take a bath together, drink some wine, have some fun, and then sleep?” he plans out the rest of the day in one sentence and you tear up at the thought.

“That sounds absolutely perfect. Thank you,” you bring your head back up to meet his face and peck his lips.

“Always, I’ll go grab the keys?” he smiles and kisses you a bit longer, cupping the side of your face.

“Mhm, lemme go grab my coat and stuff.”

And you two did exactly what he planned, all the way to have some fun that results in the both of you not sleeping, yet.

“So much for a bath,” you stifle a laugh, sitting down on the side of the tub as your legs tremble from the previous activities.

He grins and goes down on his knees, wiping you dry. “Hey, nothing wrong with having the fun a little bit earlier.”

“Mm, true. But now I’m really tired,” you slip on the pajamas he hands you.

He puts on his boxers and laughs in response, “I bet. Wanna be carried to bed?” 

You nod eagerly and hold out your arms, “Yes, please.”

He kisses your forehead and swoops you up easily, bringing you towards the bed you both share. He places you down and slides in next to you, wrapping his arms around you to hold you close.

You shift around to get comfortable and soon drape your leg over his, your hand also resting on his bare chest. “Thank you, for today,” you murmur lazily, drawing gentle shapes into his skin. He hums quietly and caresses your skin as well, dragging his hand along your shoulders to your jaw.

“Always, just talk to me next time. Okay? Don’t want you wallowing in self-doubt and stuff,” he whispers and cups your face to kiss you all over repeatedly. 

You giggle and nod in agreement, then turning around to become the smaller spoon. He smiles and inhales your addicting scent, feeling himself becoming drowsy and tired. He eventually falls asleep and before you could, you hear his phone go off on your bedside, the light brightening up the room a bit. You sit up slightly to glance over and make sure it’s nothing important, but your jaw drops once you see the messages from Harrison.

‘How was your day mate?’

‘We were able to cancel the reservation and tell everyone who was invited about the last minute change of plans’

‘All of her gifts are at my place though.... so figure that out too lol’

‘Pretty sure your busy ;)’

‘But seriously text or call me back when you can div, the caterers just dropped off all the food that was ordered at my place’

‘It’s like a bloody mall in here’ 

You let out a quiet gasp as you read the messages and eventually slide back into Tom’s embrace, knowing damn well you were right from the very beginning.

inbox link under the cut! thanks for reading ツ

leave a comment, give me some feedback pls! it’s greatly appreciated mwah

tagging some mutuals! @sunsetholland @peterssweetpea @ptersmj @evermoreholland @marvelouspeterparker @supremethunda @emmastarz @parkerpeter2469-blog @felicityparkers @spideyspeaches @hollandcrush @ms-misery @msmarvelsmain @heavenlyholland @veryholland @greenorangevioletgrass @spidey-sophie

#kelly's long reads #kelly's inbox #ms-misery #marvel #tom holland one shot #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fic #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland request

[cherryatiny]

𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲! 𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳: 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭

GIFs are not mine, credit goes to their respective owner

❁ 𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠

It was no secret that your sugar daddy Hongjoong is a born aristocrat, as his rich taste in everything showed up a lot. Ever since a young age, he was taught to love art in all its forms. When his grandparents passed away sadly, he was the chosen one to inherit the prestigious art gallery their family ran for more than 7 decades.

Although he wasn't an artist of the top level, his love to express himself through art never died. So the very first day he took over the gallery, the first thing he ordered his subordinates to do, was to clear out the smaller room in the back of the director's office.

Soon after, he designed the space to an art studio of his liking, where he could freely spend his free time painting, reconstructing clothes, or just rest while stimulating his brain to function more creatively.

Soon after he met you and you two got into the sugar daddy relationship, he found his muse in you. At first, it started by him just taking pics of you at the moments he deemed to be artsy, not long after that he however started calling you to his little studio in the gallery he ran. Always making you sit or lay down on the old valuable settee, that looked like the ones from Renaissance paintings.

Taking you by your hand, he showed you the paintings of the new exhibition he was preparing. The paintings harmonized well, all of them tuned in a dark abstract setting. Loosening your hand out of his grip, you grasped his wrist the same he did with your often, dragging him to the office. He was slightly taken by surprise as he did not expect you to drag him there since you haven't agreed on him painting you today. „Lay down, for today, you'll be my muse Joongie.“

He was laying on the settee, looking up at the ceiling, so his side-profile was fully visible to you, as you painted him on the canvas. Mixing colours to your liking, you made the portrait of your Hongjoong look abstract, as it matched the art style he often used.

After hours of painting, when you did the last line with your paintbrush, you sighed out tiredly, wiping the sweat off your forehead as you observed your creation. „My muse, you can come here and admire yourself on the canvas.“ Standing up swiftly, he came over to you, leaning forward, his arm wrapping around the shoulder of your sitting self as he was all eyes on the painting.

„It's... spectacular. I- I'm at a loss of words, why did you never tell me you had a talent for painting my darling? If I added this painting to the exhibition there, I can guarantee you, that this will be the most favoured painting in my gallery.“

❁ 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐰𝐚

You don't even know why you applied to become Seonghwa's secretary a few months ago, considering you've never worked in this type of branch. But it was probably the best decision of your life because if you wouldn't have applied for the secretary position, you wouldn't have met your sugar daddy Seonghwa.

At first, the work was a disaster as your relationship with your boss didn't start off very well. He was giving you tons of work to do, the stupidest arrangements that were completely unnecessary to make, or the most boring workshops and meetings to take you to with him.

But after the one night at a business conference in Milan when you two got closer than one would expect you to and got into the sugar daddy relationship, his attitude to you drastically changed.

Your secret relationship also made him give you easier and different tasks to do, he as well deemed you to be more reliable than before, which resulted in him giving you free hand in literally everything. He was actually taken aback by how competent you were at your tasks. Doing everything you were told to do, ten times better than he would have probably done.

One night, as you two were cuddling on the couch in his place while looking out of the large glass wall with the sighting of the whole town, he spoke out, „Y/N why didn't you tell me you had such talent for scheduling, strategic planning and business stuff? I should have made you the director of strategic planning or something like that. But then... I get to be closer to you when you're my secretary, my beautiful baby.“

❁ 𝐉𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐮𝐧𝐡𝐨

„Ah, shit! The actress who was supposed to play the walk-on in the hospital scene with Yunho, can't get here as something happened to her. What do we do now?“ yelled the director out of frustration as the actress announced she can't arrive just a few minutes before they were supposed to shoot.

You were just finishing your sugar daddy Yunho's outfit for the shoot as you were the main costumer for this k-drama. Yunho stood up from his seat as you finished his stylist, bending down to plant a kiss on your lips, before going over to the director with a worried look on his usually joyful face.

You were clearing off the stuff you used on him back to where it belonged to. Eyeing Yunho talk with the director from distance, the two of them occasionally flashing looks at you. When they stopped talking, Yunho jogged to you with the beaming smile you knew that well on his face. His puppy-like features always flashed out when he had any good news, giving him the look that was asking him what he wanted to say.

„Get changed. You've got the role of the girl who's missing.“ you raised your eyebrows at what he just said, taken aback as you did not really understand what he was talking about. You and acting? „Come on, get dressed, we don't have much time. Here's the script.“ handing you the bunch of papers and the outfit the girl was supposed to wear, he motioned for you to go to the changing room.

You wiped the sweat off your forehead as you went away from the shooting site. „Wow, ms. Y/N, are you sure you didn't study acting? Although it was supposedly your first time acting, it was so natural. Wow, I'm glad Yunho showed you to me, you are for real like a hidden gem. Would you... maybe be interested in any more acting in future?“ asked the director with a glance of hope in his eyes after you finished shooting the small part in the k-drama your sugar daddy was starred in. Looking at him, wondering what Yunho's opinion was, the proud and encouraging smile on his face hinting that he really wanted you to accept the offer made by his boss.

„I'm so proud of you princess. My little talented actress, I love you.“

❁ 𝐊𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐞𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐠

Groaning softly, you rubbed your eyes as you sat up, looking at the empty spot beside you. You were sleeping at Yeosang's home, but as you could see, he didn't seem to be sleeping. Slipping your feet into the fluffy slippers with rabbit eyes, you wrapped your body tighter in Yeosang's shirt you were sleeping in, as the air was rather cool.

Opening the door of his bedroom, you went down the stairs of his apartment, down to the living room where a small table lamp was lit. Your sleepy sugar daddy sitting by the desk covered in many papers that seemed to be related to his prosecutor work.

Approaching him, you caressed his shoulder, which woke him up from his quick nap, „Mhm, Y/N. You can go back to sleep, I'll be there soon, I just have to finish this.“ You knew well that that wasn't the case and he won't be there soon. Sighing, you wrapped your arms around his neck, sitting down on his lap, his hand caressing your exposed thighs. „What are you working on, Yeo?“

„I'm treading through the case files, but I just can't take the next step. The police want me to indict him of murder, but the defendant is justifying himself saying that it was an accident and that he should be only indicted of manslaughter.“ Taking the case files from his hand, you read through them since your unbiased opinion might be of help to him.

Taking a pen from his desk, you underlined the facts you thought were important in your lay opinion. Handing it to him, he read focused on the underlined sentences, his eyes lighting up in hope. „Oh my god, Y/N. You're the saviour of my life, this is the core issue but it hasn't even struck up to me. I love you so much, my little prosecutor.“

❁ 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐧

„Sannie, could you please tie my swimsuit?“ you held your hair in a ponytail so it did not get into the way as San tied the ribbon on the back of your swimsuit. You smiled at him as a way to say thank you, leaving the hotel suite your sugar daddy San reserved for you two to enjoy your vacation to the fullest.

San took your hand in his, your fingers intertwining as you walked down the hotel's luxurious corridors to the private beach. „Now, what does my beautiful baby plan on doing today?“ questioned san as he pulled you to him as close as possible. „Hm, I don't know, I'll probably do nothing all day long, just lay on the beach and sunbathe.“

„Then I'll keep you company while you do your nothing.“ giggles were leaving you two as you talked more while on the way to the sea. But as you started nearing the beach, loud dance music coming from the speakers. „What's that...?“ As you got to the beach, a group of people was doing dance work-outs there to the rhythm of the music.

„I have no idea what they are doing, but let's try Y/N“ and without giving you a chance to protest, San tugged you there by your wrist, right to the centre of the imaginary dance floor. He started dancing just as the instructor did, gesturing you to do the same.

Soon after you submitted to his nagging, doing the same as him to the rhythm of the energetic music. „Y/N, you're doing so well. Would I have known about your talent to dance, I would have taken you to some studio a long ago.“

❁ 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐢

After that one ball, you two met together at, you got invited to countless more balls to keep your boss company. Over that many times you two spent together, you get to know each other more and more until eventually, he somehow became your sugar daddy and boyfriend in one.

Tonight was very special, Mingi as the chairman of one of the biggest conglomerates in the country, got invited to the ball held by the president for the most influential people in the country. And when he stopped by your apartment with a beautiful night-robe, a pair of brand-new heels and a golden envelope with the letter of invitation in it, you almost fainted from the delight you felt.

Sometimes he couldn’t help but watch you like a movie on nights like this. Because you seemed so interested in these events, that it truly amazed him how you could act so interested in the talk of the attendants when it bore him to death. You just seemed so natural at attending events like this, you could dance, you knew all the protocol rules, you could pretend interest or know how to answer to the business talk others often held with you. He just couldn’t help but admire the talent you had for the formal events.

Excusing you from their speech, Mingi wrapped his arms around your waist, taking you to the middle of the dance floor as your favourite dance song was playing. Moving slowly, you melted into his touch as you enjoyed each other’s presence dancing the slow dances. „I'm amazed my dear Y/N, I can't bring myself to be interested in talking to these egoistic geezers for more than 5 minutes. Thank god I have you, my talented princess.“

❁ 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠

When you spent the night at your sugar daddy Wooyoung’s place, you usually weren’t allowed to even be near the kitchen as he insisted “he treats his princess food and she shouldn’t cook, because what if she cuts herself?” so today, as he had to rush to the work early in the morning because of some urgent, leaving you in his immense mansion alone.

And that meant you had a free pass to cook something in his kitchen. But seeing how emptied his fridge was, you opted for something more simple in a form of stir-fried tofu with vegetables. Washing the fresh vegetables thoroughly, you dried them, placing them on the breadboard, to cut them. All of his knives were sharp as Wooyoung was doing his best to keep his kitchen in the best state.

Throwing the tofu cubes onto the pan with a heated droplet of olive oil, you stirred them until they roasted into golden colour, adding the cut vegetables and cooking rice in the meanwhile. Not at all realizing that there was a pair of eyes watching you from the doorframe.

Leaving you like that, Wooyoung in the meanwhile went to change into some sweatpants and a t-shirt, maybe a quick shower. And so when he came back, you were already turning off the stove. „Well, well, well, what do I see? Looks like someone used my kitchen behind my back.“

You jumped in your place lightly, your breathing heavy at how startled you were upon Wooyoung talking to you out of nowhere. „Jung Wooyoung, for how long have you been there?“ he put on a grimace, pretending to be pondering over it. „Probably ever since you added the veggies to eat and started singing to those annoying songs.“

„They’re not annoying, you’re just too old to understand them. Anyway, if you want to nag at me for using your kitchen, do it after you taste my delicious meal. Seems like you were in rush this morning, so you probably haven’t eaten anything“ Placing the plate in front of him, you sat opposite of him, waiting to see what his reaction would be as he had never tasted your cookings before.

„Mhmm, are you sure you’ve cooked it yourself? If so... why have I never let you in my kitchen, when this is so delicious? Gosh, my princess is such a good cook.“ Your smile was full of delight at his compliment as you watched him stuff his mouth full of your food.

❁ 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨

„Y/N, I’m going to the restroom, you’ll wait for me, right?“ you nodded, watching your sugar daddy Jongho leave the studio. Standing up, you sat down on the now-emptied armchair in front of the PC screens, your eyes scanning the colourful music segments on the screen.

You picked up the sheaf of papers with the notes to his newest song, along with the lyrics he’s written himself. Your eyes ran over the notes and the lyrics and as you were re-reading the text for the 3rd time, you started humming to it, trying to get the right melody Jongho was intending on having in the song.

Opening the door to the studio, Jongho noticed you sitting on the chair, your back turned to him and that resulted in you still being oblivious to his presence. And he didn’t dare to make a move, standing in the door-frame and watching you humming to the song in amazement that you weren’t tone-deaf like most non-musical people were, as you hit all the tones.

„Woah Y/N, are you a trained singer or something? Why didn’t you tell me you were good at music? I would have taken you here long time ago...“

❁ taglist : @galaxteez @gyubaby @bobateastay @tinytinyblogs @ateezinmymind @chososchaos @cvtiehoon @a-soft-hornytiny

#IT'S SHITTY I'M SORRY #I PLANNED IT BEFORE HAND BUT I STILL HAD WRITERS BLOCK #ateez #sugar daddy!ateez #ateez sugar daddy au #ateez fluff #ateez reactions #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez headcanons

[supremeinlilac]

Three’s not a crowd, especially when it’s us (4)

Pairing: Cordelia Goode x Reader x Wilhelmina Venable

Word count: 3175

Warnings:  slapping, choking, idk arguing? Brief sexual thoughts.

A/n: I don’t know if this is in character for either of them, but it’s what I felt fit the story so we’re going with it. Also I’ve plotted out the rest of this series and it should be about 10-12 parts long, depending on how much I ramble. Also, I used a line from Apocalypse because I felt like it fit. Anyway enjoy :)

PART ONE | PART 2 | PART 3

“Are you fucking her?”

Cordelia’s questioning was blunt, arms crossed as her gaze flickered between the two of you. You almost laughed at her, but the reflex of defensiveness acted first, and had both Mina and you scoffing at her accusation.

“What?! No” You reacted simultaneously, responses tripping over the other in their haste to deny the claim. Your sincerity doing nothing to quell the fire that seemed to be flickering in the Supreme’s eyes, as if in silent warning. She also was completely disregarding you, directing her question only to her girlfriend.

“Well what is it then? I’m not stupid, I know that something is going on between the two of you.” Her foot tapped impatiently against wood as she waited, an unconscious mirroring of the taps of Wilhemina’s cane.

An uncomfortable silence hung in the air like fog, thick and poisonous and determined to seep into your pores. You could feel it, stinging and burning at your eyes and forcing you to blink away tears. But there was not fog, and the tears were of guilt; overwhelming guilt that had built like rain in a river, threatening to break flood defences and drown you.

You stood rooted, mouth gaping as you tried to stutter out a response, only babbled incoherence falling from your lips. They were too dry, and you noticed so suddenly, supposing your brain was trying to focus on anything but how Cordelia was looking at you. Your tongue darted out to wet them. Wilhemina looked guiltily at the cracked paint at the base of the wall, knuckles white against her cane and you worried the skin might split.

“I lied. I didn’t tell you what my real power was when I came.” Your words died on your lips as you admitted them, until you were barely whispering. You couldn’t meet their eyes. You noticed that on a part of the flooring the planks didn’t fully meet each other, you’d never seen that before.

Wilhemina’s cane cracked against the floor, her head shaking softly at the ground and you wondered why she seemed annoyed. Surely she knew when the game was up, it made no sense to lie further and risk all the relationships you’d built up in your time here. At least it made no sense to you, you already thought that you might love Wilhemina, but it was not justification enough for you to keep up this charade.

Cordelia looked shocked, as if whatever she’d been anticipating you to say had not been that. It wasn’t as if you expected that she knew your secret. You’d been quite careful with your lies throughout your time at the academy. No one could have known.

“You knew?” She turned on Mina, red anger back in her tone and you felt a swell of protectiveness surge within you like a tide. You scurried between them, a barrier, hands up towards Cordelia in mock surrender. You didn’t want Wilhemina to take the fall for your actions. “No, please don’t be upset at her, Cordelia, she only found out last night.”

Your eyes were silent and pleading at the Supreme, who’s gaze was unreadable as she blinked at you. A soft hand fell onto your shoulder from behind and pulled you sideways slightly, out of the middle of the two, so you all were stood equal. A broken sigh left the lips of the woman in lilac, but her hand stayed on your shoulder as she started.

“You don’t need to lie Y/n, it’s okay. Yes Delia, I knew. I found out about 6 weeks ago when-”

While she had been speaking, you’d turned to her, brows furrowed as if to ask what she was doing. Interrupting her when she was about to reveal your power, you both fell into a hushed argument, speaking in words that you both knew would wash over the Supremes head. It was less of an argument per say, more that neither of you wanted the other to burn in the inevitable fire.

Cordelia simply watched your interaction, her own insecurities bubbling to the forefront of her mind. She looked as if she would have preferred that Wilhemina had actually been fucking you, rather than this lie that had spanned over weeks.

Why hadn’t you felt comfortable; safe enough to come to her about it? Why had Wilhemina kept it from her, were they growing apart? She pushed the growing intrusive thoughts down and quashed them like a cigarette under the sole of a boot, as well as the looming voice of her mother, who’d seemed to be making more frequent appearances as of late.

Cordelia cleared her throat.

You were the first to break the silence, holding a hand up when Wilhemina made to protest, silencing the words on lips. “I-urgh-” your hand came to nervously scratch at the nape of your neck, “I used my powers on Ms Venable.”

As annoyed as she was at her girlfriend for her lies, your confession was quick to make Cordelia’s face fall from one of annoyance into worry. A small breathy “what” fell from her mouth as she frowned, turning to Mina, hands coming up to cup her face as she examined her diligently for injury and signs of pain.

Your heart seized painfully when Cordelia paused her examination of Mina to through you a glare over her shoulder. Her eyes were dark. She’d never looked at you like that before. You’d never seen her look at anyone like that. You assumed she thought you were trying to hurt Wilhemina, and maybe part of her would have been right, you hadn’t done it out of kindness.

The law echoed firmly in the back of your head. The punishment for harming a sister witch was to be burnt. You shivered. Technically, Wilhemina was your sister witch now. Stories had told you that in the coven, there was lots of people hurting each other without consequence, but that did nothing to quell the unease that grew in your stomach.

“Darling, I’m fin- I’m fine! Delia, please.”

When Cordelia didn’t cease to stop in her efforts of checking for injury, eyes hardened with the thought of someone hurting the people she loved, Mina brought her fingers slowly to wrap around hers, stilling the frantic movement. She coaxed Delia’s fingers to open before pressing them against her heart.

“See, I’m alright. Y/n didn’t hurt me I promise. Look I’ll show you.” Wilhemina’s voice was soft, thumb brushing over the Supremes’ knuckles.

She stepped away from Cordelia, and you both watched as she extended one of her arms towards the table. You, knowing what was going to happen, swallowed loudly and let your eyes travel to Cordelia.

As the candle lifted from the table, she gasped, looking to you as if she thought you were the one using your powers. Upon finding your eyes already on her, her head whipped back to Mina, who was now ushers it to come to her through the air. “Impossible” Cordelia gasped quietly, on the cusp of her breath, stare locked on the candle.

The candlestick reached Wilhemina’s waiting outstretched hand, and the woman turned back to the both of you, a proud look on her face. If the situation had of been different, you would have given her a thumbs up or expressed verbal praise, but Cordelia’s face was pale and confused so you pursed your lips.

“You’re not a Salem descendant, I’ve never seen anything like this,” Cordelia tried to reason, head shaking as if her logic would somehow reverse the fact that Wilhemina had just telekinetically brought a candle to an awaiting palm.

You stepped towards Cordelia warily, unsure of how to approach telling her without just blurting it out. Wilhemina stepped behind you to replace the candle, she looked smug. You didn’t know how she was handling this admission so well. You were a mess and Cordelia was perplexed. God how you wished you’d never kept it a secret.

“It’s my power,” you tried to explain, voice low. Cordelia looked confused, narrowing her eyes and looking to Wilhemina for an explanation. You started up again before she could answer for you. For some reason you felt the need to be the person telling her.

“I gave Ms Venable magical abilities, and I’m sorry, I just wasn’t thinking because I was mad and I’ve been teaching her and she’s actually really really gifted which I was surprised at, you know seen as it wasn’t by birth. The magic I mean.” You rambled, nervousness making you talkative, trying to defend yourself and Mina before the Supreme had a chance to interject.

It was her hand against your cheek that silenced you, and you heard Wilhemina gasp in shock behind you. Cordelia was trembling, from what you assumed was anger. Why was she so angry, you understood her to an extent, but you weren’t hurting anyone, were you? You tried to keep your eyes locked on hers, but they were too piercing, too extreme; and you had to look away.

Had she always been that tall, or was it her anger that made her seem twice the height, looming and dangerous. The slap had made your head spin, stepping backwards but yet she kept advancing. Your cheek stung but the knowledge that you’d gone enough for her to strike you hurt worse. Cordelia never really even got angry at anyone, she was usually very coolheaded.

“HOW COULD YOU KEEP THIS FROM ME” her voice was sharp, and too loud, and it made your head ache uncomfortably. You were worried the girls may hear. “WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SECRETS? I NEED TO KNOW WHAT PEOPLES ABILITIES ARE TO KEEP YOU SAFE.”

She was so close you could feel the warmth of her breath on your skin and smell the tang of her perfume, and yet you didn’t think you’ve ever felt further from her. Her chest rose and fell heavily and you slowly looked up at her, stopping at her nose because you couldn’t bare to meet her eyes.

Cordelia’s lip twitched as if she were about to say something else before she quickly turned and stormed out of the room. The door slammed and you flinched, shoulder dropping as you pulled a lip between your teeth.

When you look, Wilhemina’s eyes are on the door. Her head turned and your eyes meet, and she looks, sad? You can’t remember the last time you’d seen Mina look sad and the thought makes your chest ache painfully.

She makes for the door before pausing, hand on the handle. Glancing back at you, it looks as if she’s contemplating staying to comfort you, fighting with her brain about who needed her most in that moment, who she needed more. The glance must have only been momentary, but it felt like minutes, time stretched out and bare before you in your pain. But then the glance was gone, and so was she, the door swinging in her wake.

You were alone. Your shoulders dropped again, although you didn’t remember raising them. Perhaps you subconsciously did at the prospect of Wilhemina staying.

You didn’t feel like raising them again.

***

Wilhemina thought it best to leave Cordelia to allow her anger to thaw, since she’d retreated to the greenhouse. She always liked to be left alone to think when there in the day. She’d listen to Fleetwood mac in the absence of Misty, and let the plants and potions calm her. Maybe she’d smash a couple to defuse, not that she’d ever let anyone know that.

Wilhemina made herself busy in her office, needing anyway to complete the stack of paperwork that she’d allowed to build up in her eagerness to practise and perfect her new magic. It would serve as the distraction she needed to stop herself from seeking out her girlfriend, although it did nothing to clear the image in her head of the hurt on your face when she’d left the room earlier.

She worked until the ink ran out in her pen and the paperwork had been reduced to a minimum. Pushing back from the chair, she gathered the completed paper into an arm, cane in the other. When once she would have struggled to open and close the door without dropping anything, having to rely on Cordelia to get up for her, now the door swung open freely.

Making sure the filing was correct, Wilhemina took the stairs slowly up to her shared room, slowly because the events of the day had taken their toll. She now felt heavy with impending sleep. All she wanted was to have her love in her arms again as they slept.

Thoughts of her girlfriend swirled like mist in her mind, a welcomed distraction as her back started to twinge with pain. Reaching for the handle to their bedroom, she jumped back, clutching at her palm with the other as her cane fell against the dresser. Sucking in a deep breath as her hand began to smart, throbbing in her fingers with a heightened heartbeat.

The door handle had burnt her, it felt like, and now that she bowed slightly to inspect it, she saw how it glowed a warm orange. In fact, the whole door was tinted slightly, not enough for anyone without focused to see, but enough for Mina to know it had a protection spell over it. She’d seen the lesson Cordelia had given in the types of protective spells one could use.

Cordelia had cast a protective spell, the third type from her lesson, she remembered, to stop anyone from getting in, even Mina. Even though she was upset, Wilhemina sighed affectionately. It was so Cordelia to put the least harmful protective spell on the door. Even in her anger, the supreme hadn’t wanted to hurt Wilhemina as she tried to enter, like the other two spells would have.

Wilhemina brought her hands to meet on her stomach, unsure of what to do now she was locked out of her bedroom; all the other witches had returned to theirs, and the house was quiet. She assumed Cordelia would let her in when she went to sleep, wanting to be alone for as long as possible.

After finding her pyjamas and a set of new clothes folded neatly on the chest at the foot of the bed in the spare room, anger flickered in her chest. Surely Cordelia wasn’t expecting she actually slept here. Alone. Turning on her heels, she strode determinedly towards your bedroom.

***

You’d heard stories form the girls when you’d arrived, about when Wilhemina had first arrived in the house years ago. None of them had been there to see it, so the words were mere rumours passed from ear to ear and morphing like the muttered sentences of a child’s game of Chinese whispers.

Some days they seemed ridiculous, the notion that she could have been so carelessly cruel. Today, you believed them. You’d been struck yourself by the unforgiving blade of her tongue.

By the realisation that perhaps you’d been wrong, and that magic wasn’t a thing everyone deserved. Or could be trusted with.

Wilhemina could barely control the fire of her own emotions, never mind the magic you’d trapped her with. She let anger and fear steer her actions and didn’t seem to have the capacity to actually regret them after.

You’d managed to poke a hole through the fragile calm that Cordelia had managed to envelope her in over the years, and you were allowed to see the flickering glimpses of her former self. You let yourself mourn for the person you thought she was.

Perhaps now you knew her, the real her, you may never truly love who she has become. Could you let yourself love someone born from so much spite?

She’d come to your room, eyes hard and angry and hands shaking against her cane. Hissing through bared teeth that you’d ruined everything, among other things that you missed because you couldn’t stop watching how she was shaking.

She’d looked at your blank expression, and how your cheek was still slightly pink, and snapped. Lurching forwards and choking your neck between strong hands. She almost smirked at how your expression changed so suddenly, finger coming to claw at her own, a desperate attempt to get free.

Anger and hurt clouded her mind, just as the thought of Delia earlier, yet this was a thick fog, opaque and suffocating, and stopping her from truly registering what she was doing.

Yesterday you would have become instantly wet and squirmy with the thought of having Wilhemina’s slender fingers wrapped around the delicate skin of your throat. But now, with the black of her eyes holding no kindness as she squeezed harder, making your vision almost blur, you weren’t aroused, All you knew was fear.

In that second, you’d been scared of her. You’d felt it, and so had she.

She’d obviously heard your fear, your pain, because a second later she was stumbling back, cane cracking as it fell to the ground. Her eyes were wide and frightened, as if she couldn’t recognise herself, watching how you held your neck protectively.

You’d watched as she tried to compose herself, smoothing down her skirt with hands that still shook, fingers slightly curling into the fabric. As she stooped to pick up her cane, cracked it twice against the floor and left as if nothing had happened.

You’d seen in her eyes, a silent apology that she always refused to voice, as if breaking some unspoken law she’d set herself. Wilhemina was never in the wrong. Even if she was.

Later, when the moon seemed to be the only witness to your sleeplessness, you let your wind wander, staring at the ceiling. Your covers were drawn up to your chin protectively, as if it would somehow stop the monsters. A childish belief.

In the past 6 hours, you’d been struck by both of the women you’d believed would never raise a hand to you. You wanted to laugh, and cry. Everything was so quick to crumble beneath you, the soil dry and unstable.

This is what Cordelia had meant. Secrets are dangerous. The ground fell away and left you teetering on the edge, so much uncertainty hanging above you. Regret and guilt too.

You supposed it was your own fault, always setting yourself goals that were highly unrealistic and then being surprised when they didn’t work out. You strove for things unattainable and out of reach.

Wilhemina was the moon, dark and cold and misunderstood. She never let anyone see her true self, she was guarded and everyone could only see her through a lens. Everyone except Cordelia.

Cordelia was the sun, she was warm and familiar and the source of things to flourish and grow. Her smile was bright. They were so opposite, but they needed one another, moving in harmony and in sync.

They were both so unreachable but yet, weren’t we told as children to reach for the stars?

PART 5

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[moldisgoodforyou]

home again

wordcount: 7.9k

warnings: brief smut moment, mentions of sexual content

________

Rafe double, triple-checked their plane tickets when they went back home from Rome. They’d bought them separately but somehow he was convinced he’d screwed it up again - when he reached for his phone a fourth time on the train to the airport, Sophie reached over and took it with a shake of her head.

After making it through security and buying two breakfast sandwiches for them, Rafe tucked his backpack under her feet. “Can you watch this for a second?”

“Yeah, where are you going?” Sophie asked curiously.

“I’ll be right back.” He answered vaguely, kissing her forehead. When he returned, he had an entire bag full of Italian snacks and candies, all indecipherable except for a small bag of dark chocolate M&Ms that he tossed at Sophie. Her face lit up as she caught it and realized. “Oh my god, I missed these.”

He grinned and slid into the seat next to her, dumping the snacks into his backpack. “I know you did. I figured we could try these on the plane, for some entertainment.”

“I’m not gonna be able to sleep.” She tore open the packet and poured some into her hand before offering it to him.

He accepted a few, but not too much more. “Good, you said we weren’t supposed to sleep. We’ll be all jetlagged.”

“But I’m tired.” She whined, dropping her head to his shoulder.

Rafe pressed a kiss to the top of her head, lowering his voice. “Maybe you shouldn’t have convinced me to sleep with you last night then. Until 3am.”

She blushed and shot him an indignant glare. “You started it in the shower.”

“You dropped to your knees in the shower first.” He smirked. “This is your fault.”

“Nothing is ever my fault.” She declared. “You’re just too hot, that’s all.”

“Uh huh.” The airport called for boarding over the speakers and he hauled her up, pulling out their passports and walked with her to the line. He paused when she moved forward. “Wait, Sophie, aren’t we sitting together?”

“No, I’m 23A.”

“And I’m 23B - wait, no, shit, I’m not.” He frowned and glanced down at his ticket. “I’ll fix this.”

“Rafe, you don’t have to -”

Her argument fell on deaf ears as he went forward, glancing at people’s tickets. She held back a smile as he put on his best southern drawl and his most charming grin as he talked with the woman in 23B, convincing her eventually - with twenty dollars - to trade seats once they were on the plane. Once they boarded, he gave her a smug smile as he sat next to her, putting up the arm rest so she could lean into him.

“How much did you bribe her with?”

“Bribe? I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never bribed anyone in my life.”

_____

The entire ride home, he didn’t sleep at all. Sophie fell asleep on him within minutes, curled into him comfortably, and he didn’t dare move and wake her up. When they made it back to Columbus and James and Colin picked them up - with a ‘welcome back from federal prison’ sign. Sophie just grinned and greeted them both with a big hug, giggling when James kissed her cheek and Rafe socked him in the arm. The whole drive back, she chattered excitedly, filling the boys in on all her adventures while Rafe barely stayed awake, his head slumped onto her shoulder.

They went straight to Rafe’s senior house to relax and she gave herself a tour right away, impressed by the clean house and lack of lewd decor. (It was going up next week, anyways.)

She wasn’t tired at all as she strolled into his room, making a big deal of the newly painted walls and a few plants scattered around on shelves. “Check it out! This looks so good, Rafe!”

He yawned - again - and flopped onto his bed. “Shh.”

“Didn’t you sleep?” She did the same, sprawling out on his bed. “I can’t believe you have a king-sized bed, I’m never staying at my place.”

“No. Couldn’t sleep.” He stretched his neck uncomfortably, groaning. She nudged him over, tugging at the hem of his shirt, and he shook his head. “Nooo. I’m too tired for sex.”

She giggled and tugged again. “It’s not that. Sit up, I’ll rub your back.”

He sat up just enough to tug his shirt over his head and flopped back down to the mattress on his stomach. She crawled onto him and straddled him to massage his shoulders, digging her thumbs into the base of his neck. He groaned, twisting a little. “Lotion. In my nightstand drawer.”

“Ew, is that for -”

“My hands get dry, dummy, get your head out of the gutter.”

She flicked his neck. “Be nice or I’ll leave you alone.”

“No, baby, stay.” He whined, flexing his back a little as she stretched. She smiled to herself, appreciating his muscles and traced a finger down his spine. “Okay. I’ll stay.”

“Watch your hands.”

“I’m just touching your back.” She dug in a little harder into his shoulders, grinning when he groaned in appreciation.

“Yeah, and I know how touchy you can get.” He quipped, closing his eyes and letting her continue the massage. “Handsy.”

She teased his fingertips under the waistband of his shorts. “You’re gonna have to shower anyways.”

It took about two seconds for him to change his mind. “Hmm….fine. But I’m not gonna do any work if you start something.” He yawned. “And you’re not done on my back.”

She rolled her eyes and got back to work, pleased by his little satisfied noises. She was just about to roll him back over and tug down his shorts when James slammed his palm on the door. “Shut the fuck up, Rafe, we don’t want to hear you jacking off!”

“Jesus Christ, James, come in!” Rafe yelled back with annoyance lacing his tone. James came in to see their (mainly) innocent position. “Oh. It sounded like you were doing something else. Hi Sophie, I didn’t know you were still here.”

She giggled, crawling off of Rafe. “Hey. We weren’t -”

“Yeah, I can see that. My bad.” He went to leave and paused, sticking his head back in the door. “You should know, though, my room’s right below his. And we all share that bathroom, so I’d prefer things to be cleaned. Regularly.”

“Get out, James.” Rafe pointed with a glare. James nodded with a grin and left, the door clicking shut behind him. Sophie gave him an apologetic smile. “He’s really just below us?”

“Yeah. I don’t fucking care, I told him I’d buy him a white noise machine. C’mere.” He flipped over and pulled her up to his hips, groaning obnoxiously loud when his hard cock brushed against her core.

She giggled, rocking back and forth on him. “Now you’re just being annoying.”

“Good. He’s been worse, bringing home a different girl every weekend for a straight month before I left. Colin says he’s going through his hoe phase.” He yawned, tugging at her shirt. “You have about ten minutes to fuck me before I pass out in this bed.”

Sophie rolled her eyes, pulling off her shirt. “That’s it? Sure it’s worth it?”

“Angel, please.” He nearly begged, pulling her down to kiss her desperately, grinding his hips against hers.

“Okay, okay, you’re so needy.” She teased. “Let me just take care of you.”

“No, I want -” He started, cutting himself off when she pulled out his hard cock from his shorts and stroked down his length, making him hiss. “Okay. That’s fine.”

She rolled her eyes and ducked down to take him into her mouth, not giving any warning. He nearly groaned again until she reached up and slapped her free hand over his mouth. “Shh. Stay quiet or I’ll stop.”

He let his head fall back so she couldn’t see him and fisted the sheets, bucking up into her mouth. “So good. So fucking good, baby.” He mumbled against her hand, just loud enough that Sophie could hardly hear.

It didn’t take long for him to come, especially with the way she sucked on him and twisted her wrist at the same time. When he did, her hand still clapped against his mouth, he let out a satisfied sigh and grinned down at her. “You’re incredible.”

She removed her hand and gave him a quick kiss. “You’re too easy. I think that was four minutes.”

“Can’t help it. You were all touchy, you know what that does to me.” He tried pulling her close, all sleepy, and she gently swatted her hands away.

“No, baby. I gotta go home and shower, then unpack. And I want to get dinner with Allie and Jules.”

He frowned. “What about me?”

“I’ve been with you nonstop for three whole weeks.” She grinned and gave him another short kiss. “You’ll be okay. We’re gonna have to go back to sleeping apart sometimes.”

“Noooo.” He grumbled, reaching for her as she stood and tugged her shoes back on.

“Welcome back to reality, Cameron.”

“But you - you need your turn -” He tried arguing helplessly and she just grinned.

“I own a vibrator, remember?”

“Fuck. That thing.”

“Don’t worry.” She leaned against the wall with a smirk, arms crossed. “I’ll let you borrow it sometime. Can you drive me?”

Rafe sighed but ambled out of bed, tugging his shorts back up and pulling his shirt on. “This is not how I expected the night to go.”

“We both know you’re gonna pass out in bed the second you get back. Hopefully after a shower.”

“Yeah, probably.” He yawned, stretching. “If I’m not texting you by one in the afternoon tomorrow please check on me.”

She nodded seriously and shook his hand, making him laugh. “You have a deal. Don’t forget you have to pack though, we’re going home in two days.”

“We are home…?”

“Home home. Remember? We booked the flights yesterday in Rome?”

He nodded in recognition, casting a glance at his stuffed suitcase on the ground. “Right. Remind me why I couldn’t just ask for the plane?”

She scowled before she could catch herself. “I thought you didn’t want to see your dad when you were home.”

“Touché.” Rafe noticed her scowl but didn’t mention it, not having the energy to persist. He grabbed his keys and took her hand, bringing her out to the car. “C’mon, my chariot awaits.”

____

The two of them spent their two days before going home very differently - Rafe slept nearly the entire time, woke up at night to go get tacos with the boys, then went back to bed. Sophie decorated her entire room within four hours, set up her senior architecture studio, and had meetings with a professor, an advisor, and the co-president of the alumni mentorship program. (Rafe was exhausted just from seeing her texts about her schedule.)

The girls dropped them off at the airport only forty five minutes before their flight, despite Rafe’s protests that it wasn’t nearly enough time and Sophie’s argument that she’d made a flight with less time on a tiny airline in Spain. Their flight was inconvenient, as always - they had to fly into Virginia and take a 2.5 hour ferry to get back home. When they finally arrived, greeted by the familiar summer humidity and the smell of the sea, her brother picked them up to bring them to Sophie’s.

“Soph!” He yelled out the window from the pickup line. Rafe noticed immediately and straightened up, grabbing her bag as well as his to walk to the car.

She beamed, waving as they came closer, and slid into the front seat while Rafe put their suitcases in the back. “Carter! Hi! I thought you were moving this weekend?”

“I pushed it back a couple weeks, wanted to see you before I left. How was Barcelona?” He glanced back and nodded at Rafe briefly in the backseat. “Rafe.”

“Hey. Thanks for picking us up.” Rafe smiled politely, nearly crammed into the backseat because of how far back Sophie’s seat was. He assumed Carter had moved it before he came to pick them up, but didn’t dare say a word.

“Yeah, no problem.” The rest of the ride was just the two siblings talking, mainly Sophie telling him about her study abroad and the trips she’d taken with Rafe. Carter kept his eye on Rafe in the backseat at a few parties of her story, especially when she stuttered over talking about swimming in Nice and Rafe’s birthday. (Rafe very pointedly looked out the window to avoid his eyes.)

They were greeted by Sophie’s dad when Carter pulled the car up in the driveway. He wrapped Sophie in a tight, smothering hug when she jumped out of the car, the two of them sharing matching grins. “Hey, Sophie girl.”

“Hi Dad.” She mumbled against his shirt, hugging him tight. “Missed you.”

“Missed you too.” He finally let her go and welcomed Rafe in for a hug too, ignoring his handshake. “Nice to see you too, kiddo.”

“You too, Mr. Flint.” He beamed and excused himself from the hug quickly to get both his and Sophie’s suitcases, ever the gentleman in his presence. “Thank you so much for letting me stay here, I really appreciate it.”

Her dad nodded with a smile, taking Sophie’s bag from him. “Of course. Come on, I’ll show you to your spot in the guest room. Soph, your mom’s out running errands, I thought we could all head out to the course for a round if you’re not too tired?”

“Sure, that sounds fine. Dad, did you forward that study I emailed you about using filtered stormwater for the course to the groundskeeper? So it’s more eco-friendly?” Sophie asked over her shoulder, leading the way inside and upstairs.

Jeff sent Rafe a knowing smile behind her back, shaking his head. Ever since Sophie really got into eco conservation in high school, she’d been pushing more and more for the entire family to make small changes. Her efforts got more and more involved as she learned more in college, and she’d had meetings with the groundskeeper at the country club no less than five times - he listened politely as a favor to her dad, but that was all. “I sent it, yes. I’m not sure how well it was received.”

“Oh, well, I can send you some more resources. It’s good to at least provide the options, you know?” She turned back and took her bag into her room, automatically going for Rafe’s as well.

Rafe smiled, subtly pulling it away and tried to redirect her dad’s attention. “Um, which one’s the guest room?”

“Other end of the hallway, just opposite Carter’s room.” Jeff gave him a pointed look and he nodded quickly. “Great, thank you.”

“Dad, you’re not seriously making him stay in there.” Sophie argued, giving her dad a pleading look.

“No, it’s fine! I’m sure it’s perfect, I’ll go make myself at home.” Rafe quickly excused himself, heading down the hall and just barely stayed in earshot of the two.

Her dad regarded her carefully. “Sophie, you can’t really expect me to believe you two had been in separate dorms that entire trip like you’ve been telling your mother, can you?”

She grew embarrassed, leaning against her doorway. “Dad...”

“I’m not oblivious, honey, I just hope you’re being safe -”

“Dad! Please. I don’t want to talk about this with you. Ever.” She told him with wide eyes and red cheeks, backing into her room slowly.

“Alright, just. Be careful. Both of you.” He warned her, patting her shoulder before heading back down the stairs, calling out loudly over his shoulder. “Be ready in fifteen!”

She just groaned and flopped back onto her bed.

“Ready, kids?” Jeff called up the stairs, exactly fifteen minutes later. Sophie was in the guest room with Rafe, sporting a golf tank from high school and a matching skort. The tank was a little tight across the chest and she’d flaunted into his room with it unbuttoned to completely show off her boobs, showing him exactly what was underneath.

“Yes sir!” Rafe called back, a little higher pitched than normal, and shoved Sophie’s shoulder lightly. “Button that up,” he hissed.

“You’re a prude.” She rolled her eyes, buttoning it back up to her neck but adjusted her skort to sit a little higher. (Nothing too inappropriate, but it was just enough to drive Rafe crazy.)

“I’m not - we are going golfing with your father, baby, and you look like several dreams I’ve had in high school. Do not pull something. Fix your skirt.”

She perked up, taking a step closer. “You dreamed about me in high school? What kind of dreams?”

“No. We’re not doing this.” He told her, but she didn’t miss the way he reached in his pocket and grimaced for a moment. “Behave.”

She grinned and practically skipped downstairs, with Rafe following close behind. “We’re ready! Dad, can we just play 9 today? I wanted to go hang out on the beach with Rafe later.”

“Our reservation’s for the full 18. What, you don’t want to play a full round with your old man?” Her dad teased, but she could hear the tiny tone of hurt underneath.

“We can go to the beach another time, the full 18’s perfect.” Rafe interjected. “I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep up with you though, Mr. Flint, I haven’t really played since last year.”

“Oh, you’ll be fine, I saw your form earlier this summer.” Her dad replied cheerfully, not noticing as Sophie mouthed “suck up” to Rafe behind his back.

They all drove to the course and split into carts, her dad in one and Rafe and Sophie in the other. As they rode to the second hole, Sophie kicked her feet up on the dash, ignoring the golf etiquette standard. “Hey, Rafe.”

He instantly reached over and shoved her feet off, casting a glance toward her dad to make sure he didn’t see. “Yes ma’am.”

“You think we could pull off a quickie tonight?”

He fixed her with a glare, unamused. “Sophie. Do not.”

She just smirked as she skipped off the cart to the hole, club in hand. She didn’t quit the entire rest of the game, murmuring little dirty things into his ear on the cart or pretending like she was going to flash him, bursting into giggles as he nearly wrecked the cart trying to lunge across the seat to keep her shirt down. Rafe was entirely distracted the whole game, trying to stay as civil as possible around her dad while also keeping Sophie in check.

Her competitive streak kicked in around the sixth hole, when she was losing by just enough. Jeff kept pointing out little imperfections in her form - her arms were bent too far, her hips didn’t rotate enough, her head wasn’t down for long enough - and Rafe winced nearly every time. Sophie took it all in stride though, and he had to remind himself that criticism from a parent was fine when it was paired with constant encouragement after she improved.

Her dad was a little more sensitive to how Rafe responded to criticism, starting everything with a compliment first and then phrasing the critique as a suggestion. At the end of the game - despite Rafe barely losing to Sophie, Jeff coming in first - he nudged Rafe and gave him an encouraging grin. “You’re looking good, kid. Might beat this one if she wasn’t so annoying.”

“Dad!” Sophie exclaimed. “I didn’t do a thing -”

“I raised you better than to whistle on the golf course, Soph.” Her dad pointed out as he poked her in the leg with his club. “Breaking every single etiquette rule out there.”

“It’s a simple distraction technique.” She protested with a sheepish grin. She had whistled at Rafe when he bent over to place his ball on the tee - twice - and thought her dad hadn’t noticed either time.

“If you’re using distraction to win the game, maybe you aren’t good enough.” Her dad retorted, laughing as Rafe’s eyebrows shot up at the same time as Sophie’s. “Go drive the carts back, I’ll meet you two at the car.” As Sophie grinned and started toward her dad’s cart, he called after her again. “No racing! Not again!”

She just ignored him and Jeff turned to Rafe with an exasperated grin. “I’m not sure how you kept up with her for that long in Europe.”

“I’m not entirely sure either, sir.” Rafe told him with a smile.

____

When they came back to the house, all a little sweaty, her mom had a tray of lemonade and snacks set out for all of them. “Mrs. Flint, hi. Thank you for this.” Rafe thanked her immediately, wiping the sweat off his brow.

“Rafe, it’s good to see you, thank you for keeping an eye on my child the past few weeks.” Her mom greeted with a teasing grin. “Sophie, Angie is coming over with the twins any second now, can you two watch them for a couple hours?”

Sophie scowled, flopping back into her chair and only straightened up instinctively when her mom tapped her shoulders. “Rafe and I were going to -”

“No, that’s fine, we don’t have plans.” Rafe cut her off quickly, nudging Sophie’s foot with his. “Who’s Angie?”

“Angie’s my older cousin, she just had her babies around February.” Sophie informed him. “They’re kind of cute, I guess.”

“They’re very cute, and it’s just so Angie and your aunt and I can go shopping for more baby clothes. You haven’t met them yet, you should be excited to see them.” Her mom chastised with a shake of her head. “You’ll have your own soon enough, so this’ll be a learning experience.”

Sophie nearly spat out her lemonade, affronted. “Mom!”

“Don’t be dramatic, Sophie.” She tutted and went back inside.

Sophie gaped after her, shaking her head. “Ignore her. Go shower, I’ll shower when you’re done.”

He wasn’t entirely sure what to make of that exchange, always a little confused by her mom’s well-intentioned insults. “I thought the kids were coming…?”

“Yeah, I can handle them and then we’ll swap.” She grinned, lowering her voice. “Or we could shower together and it’ll be faster.”

Rafe practically scrambled out of his chair to go shower, pointing accusingly at her. “Stop that.”

“Stop what.”

“You know - that.” He gestured wildly at the way she’d leaned forward, undone a button and bit her bottom lip. “You’re teasing. Just wait until we’re back in Ohio, please.”

She just smirked and leaned forward to kick his ass lightly. “Go.”

____

When she came back down after her slightly-too-long shower with damp hair, she stopped in her tracks at the base of the stairs. Rafe had one of the babies napping in the play crib and the other asleep on his chest, tiny fingers curled around his pinky as he carefully rubbed her back. Sophie took a quick photo before he could notice and approached quietly, combing her fingers through his hair affectionately.

He lifted his head to smile at her, whispering. “She fell asleep like this, isn’t she sweet? I think this one is baby Ava.”

She laughed quietly, shaking her head. “That’s Amelia. Ava’s in the crib, she has more hair.”

“Oh. Look at her tiny fingers, Sophie.” He murmured, so proud that he was able to get them to stay asleep. When Angie had arrived, she’d brought in both car seats and set up the crib, then handed off both still-sleeping babies to him with only a short introduction. She’d nestled Amelia on his chest, telling him she slept better that way, and thanked him profusely before leaving with Sophie’s mom.

“Babies are so weird.” Sophie replied, a little too loud. “At least they’re starting to get cute.”

He shushed her immediately with a glare. “They’re not weird.”

“How are you so good at this?” She cocked her head, considering picking up Ava from the crib but not trusting her skills.

“Dunno. I like kids.” He traced small circles on Amelia’s back, quietly shushing her when she cooed a little. After a few moments, he glanced up at Sophie with a smile. “How many do you want?”

“I’m not giving you a baby any time soon.” She told him pointedly, leaning into him a little. “But I guess if you really want, I could start calling you daddy…”

He shuddered, his whole face scrunching up into a scowl. “I hope that’s not a kink of yours because I’m really not sure I could entertain it.”

She giggled, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “I’m just kidding. Um, I don’t know that I’ve thought about it. I’ve only ever thought as far as my job.”

“Wait, really? Never?”

She shrugged. “Nah. I liked having Carter growing up though. You’ve thought about it?”

He nodded confidently. “Yeah. Two or three’s perfect, I think. Not too much of an age gap in between. A good mix of girls and boys. I want to...yeah.”

Sophie furrowed her brow, turning to face him. “You want what?”

“I want to be a good dad. To do it right.” He told her, a little shy. “I’m not sure I could, but -”

“You will.” She interrupted him, firmly. “I know you will.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do, baby. You’re going to love our kids so well -”

“Our kids?” He interjected with a small grin, making her blush as a matching blush crept up on his cheeks.

“Sorry, did you plan on having kids with someone else?” She raised her eyebrows.

“No. ‘Course not. Just didn’t know you planned on having them with me.” His grin grew to split across his cheeks, beaming.

She shook her head, feeling herself grow bright red. “Well, yeah. Later, but yeah. You’re it for me, Rafe.” She told him, her voice going a little soft.

He nodded, reaching out to grab her hand and kiss the back of it, the most movement he could make without disturbing the baby. “Good. My favorite.”

“My favorite.” She echoed softly, leaning back into him. As the garage door opened and both babies startled, Ava starting to wail, she scowled and stood to pick her up, holding her out at arm’s length as she began to scream. Amelia began to wake but stayed quiet, her little fist tightening around Rafe’s finger.

“Actually hold her, Soph.” He told her with a skeptical glance at the way she was clearly uncomfortable around the baby. She moved her grip to be able to rock the baby but Ava kept screaming, sensing Sophie’s lack of experience.

Just as Sophie was about to place her hand over Ava’s mouth, Angie came in with an exasperated sigh. “Oh, baby, it’s okay, did the garage wake you?” She cooed, immediately soothing her daughter.

Sophie’s mom followed, smiling at the sight of Rafe completely comfortable with Amelia quietly on his chest still. “Look at that, you’ve got the natural instinct.”

“Oh my god, can I take you home with me? Sophie, I’m stealing your boyfriend.” Angie joked, winking at Rafe.

He laughed, getting up carefully so he didn’t shift Amelia too much and carefully placed her back into the crib. “I wouldn’t mind a little babysitting, but I’ve got to go back to Ohio for our senior year at the end of the weekend.”

“Right, of course.” Angie nodded, giving him a grateful smile.

Sophie rolled her eyes at Rafe behind Angie’s back. “Thanks for letting us watch them for a bit, Ang, they’re adorable, but we kind of have plans…”

“But you'll be back after dinner?” Her mom asked. Sophie resisted a scowl while Rafe just gave her an eager smile. “We’ll be back for dinner, no worries.”

“Okay, see you later!” Sophie practically dragged him upstairs, pulling him into her room and shutting the door before he could protest. He immediately reached for the doorknob, but she grabbed his hand and leaned up to kiss him, hard.

Rafe kissed her back for a few moments before he was reminded where he was and pulled back quickly. “Soph, we can’t.”

“I just want to kiss you.” She argued with a pleading tone, pouting a little.

“I thought we were leaving? Going to the beach?” He dodged another attempted kiss from her, easily slipping out from where she had him pinned against the door and stepped away from her.

“Right. I have to change.” She pulled off her shirt and bralette in one fell swoop, then kicked off her shorts too before he could blink.

He gaped for a moment when he realized she was completely naked, his voice lowering a little. “Baby.”

“Yeah?” She strolled over to her dresser, pretending to rifle through her drawer of old swimsuits, and settled on a hot pink string bikini. She’d bought it in high school and kept it in her car to change into for pool parties, because if her mom ever caught her in it she was sure she’d be transferred to a Catholic boarding school immediately. She knew for a fact Rafe had seen it before, even complimented her in it back in high school, and was hoping he’d recognize it.

He did.

Right away.

“Soph, not - not that one.” He implored, voice cracking. He could feel his throat going dry as he fought every urge in his body telling him to go over to her and have his way with her right that instant, trying to remind himself that her parents were literally right downstairs.

She held back a grin as she shimmied into the bikini, tying it up behind her neck. “What’s wrong with this one?”

“I’m getting you back for this. All this teasing today. I swear. I - I -” He couldn’t even come up with a decent half-hearted threat as she strode closer, letting her hair down from her claw clip, and a big whiff of her shampoo overloaded his senses.

“You’ll what.”

“You’re going to regret this.” He told her, and she swore she could hear the way his voice was shaking.

“What are you gonna do? Punish me? Tie me up?” She teased, and the hint of a laugh in her voice was enough to break his spell.

“Sophie, please. No more. I’ll do whatever you want the second we’re back in Ohio, but I am really trying to make a good impression on your family.” He pleaded, eyes trained intensely on hers - though she was pretty sure it was just so he wouldn’t be able to look down at her tits.

“Okay, okay.” She grabbed her shirt from the bed and pulled it on over the swimsuit, her shorts following. “You don’t have to try so hard though, you know?”

“I know, I just. I want to do this right.” He relaxed a little once she got dressed, but was still mainly tense. “Can I, uh, use your bathroom?”

Sophie sat back on the bed, sending him a confused glance. “No one uses the one out in the hall by the guest room, just use that.”

“That one doesn’t have a shower.”

“You just showered - oh.” She realized as soon as Rafe’s slightly pained expression set in and she noticed the bulge in his shorts. Sophie grinned, satisfied. “I could take care of that faster, y’know.”

“I think I’d still be hard after.” He confessed with a shake of his head, quickly letting himself into the bathroom and ignoring her giggles as he locked the door.

____

They were only out at the beach for a couple hours before they had to return home, but it was like she could see the tension literally unraveling from Rafe’s body when he wasn’t under the pressure of impressing her parents. They laid out their towels with a little overlap and she had her head on Rafe’s arm as they sprawled out on the beach, uninterrupted. When his phone chimed, he nudged her a little. “Can you grab that?”

Sophie sat up to get his phone from her bag at their feet. “Your dad texted.”

“What does it say?”

“I don’t know your password.”

“You did the Face ID thing for it in France, remember?” He didn’t move a muscle, halfway to falling asleep out in the sun.

She cocked her head, surprised when the phone unlocked. “I thought you would have taken it off, thought it was just for traveling.”

“Nope. I have nothing to hide.” He nudged his sunglasses down and squinted up at her. “What does it say?”

“Oh, right.” She opened his text, frowning a little. “Um, he said he saw you leaving the country club the other day and wants you over for lunch tomorrow.”

“Fuck.” He muttered, sitting up with a sigh and took the phone from her to read over the text to see if there were any undertones of him being in trouble. “Okay. You’ll come, right?”

“What - me? I don’t know if that’s really necessary -”

“I’ve been with your family all weekend.”

She frowned more, tucking her knees up to her chest. “I thought you wanted to stay with my family.”

“I do, I do!” He backtracked quickly, reaching out and skimming his hand over her arm. “But I want you to come with me.”

“Rafe…” She started, hesitant, but gave in once she saw his pleading look. “Alright. I’ll go, but I doubt he’ll want me there.”

“He’ll be fine.” Rafe shot off a quick reply to his dad, satisfied when Ward liked the message in response. “It’ll be fine. It’s just lunch.”

“Mmhmm.” She didn’t bring up how he sounded like he was reassuring himself more than anything. She stood, offering her hand. “Come on, swim with me.”

He kissed the back of it before taking it and hauling himself up. “I love you. You know that?”

“I know, baby. I always know.”

_____

Later that night, Sophie sat across from her dad as they got dinner ready. She’d informed him she and Rafe were going to Ward’s house tomorrow for lunch and her dad had merely replied with a noncommittal hum, asked her how she felt, and nodded again when she replied with a wary shrug.

“I never liked the idea of you dating.” Jeff told her as he sliced up watermelon for their dinner that night. Rafe paused around the corner, sent to the garage to grab charcoal for the grill, not wanting to interrupt.

“Dad.” She whined a little, embarrassed, but didn’t move from her spot across the kitchen counter.

“I didn’t, you’re my little girl. But I like Rafe, a lot. He’s a good kid, Sophie, keep him around.”

“I’m planning on it.” She murmured.

“You love him?” Jeff inquired, pausing his cutting of the watermelon for a moment. She merely nodded to respond with a blush and a smile and Rafe nearly walked out then just so he could see the look on her face, desperately craving the confirmation.

“He makes me...I just…” Sophie tripped over her words a little, tugging at the loose threads on her jean shorts. “I feel safe with him. With Luke, or Peter, you know, I -”

“I try not to remember them.” Her dad quipped with a smile, making her roll her eyes. “Go on.”

“Just, with them I didn’t really see much past what we had. But with Rafe, it’s different. Like, I know he’ll stick by my side. For...a while.” She decided, giving her dad a shy but eager smile.

“Well, when that time comes, I’ll be happy to have him in the family.” Jeff told her decisively.

“Me too.” She murmured, then hopped up from her chair. “I’m gonna go find him, he’s probably still rooting around the garage for the charcoal.”

Rafe carefully stepped back a few steps, just enough to quickly shut the door to the garage loudly and stroll in with a sense of purpose like he hadn’t just overheard the whole conversation. “Found it! Sorry, took me a second.”

“I thought you got lost.” She beamed at him, seeming to regard him in a different light for a moment.

He stood taller under her adoring gaze, smiling back. “Nope. Where do you want this, Mr. Flint?”

“Backyard’s fine. Know how to work the grill, Rafe?” Jeff set down the knife and pushed the watermelon toward Sophie so she could take over.

“Uh, not sure, I’ve only ever used electric.”

“C’mon then, let me show you how it’s done.” He clapped a hand on Rafe’s shoulder as he passed to lead the way out to the backyard.

____

Sophie was hardly able to sleep all night, so she crept into Rafe’s room around 1am, careful to only open the door just enough so it wouldn’t creak. “Rafe?”

He was awake too, just barely, and rolled over to greet her, whispering. “Hey. Why are you still up?”

“Can’t sleep.” She mumbled and crawled into his bed without invitation, laying on top of him and placed her head over his heart. He hesitated for a moment but eventually wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. “Me either.”

“Are you nervous?” She asked.

“For lunch? A little, yeah. But I don’t sleep well without you anyways.” He confessed, playing with the ends of her hair.

“That’s no good.” She traced little patterns on his chest. “Your dad hates me. Right?”

“I don’t think so.” He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head, not bothering to add that he wasn’t sure she was even enough on his radar for Ward to consider hating her. “You need to sleep, sweet girl.”

“So do you.”

“You’re not supposed to be in here.”

She raised her arm with her watch aimlessly. “I set an alarm for six. I’ll go back to my room then.”

“Okay. Sweet dreams, angel.” He kept playing with her hair until he heard her breathing slow and deepen, and only let himself fall asleep an hour after, once he was sure they wouldn’t be caught.

_______

Later that day, after anxiously pacing the house all morning, Sophie was squeezing the life out of his hand as they walked up to his front door. He pressed a kiss to her temple before letting them in. “Soph. It’s okay.”

“Your dad hates me.” She told him with a straight face.

“He - I don’t think that’s true.” He faltered, punching in the code to the front door and toed it open when it unlocked. “This isn’t fun for me either, can you please help me out and not break my hand?”

“Right! Right, sorry.” She let go of him right away, letting him shake out his hand. “Here, let me -” She reached up to fix his hair and he jerked away, startled.

“He says it looks better gelled, don’t -”

“I’m not, I’m just fixing -” She carefully pushed a stray strand back into place and he gave her a grateful smile when he felt it. “Okay. We’re okay?”

“We’re good. Go ahead.” She nodded and followed him in, taking his hand when he reached out for hers.

Ward spotted them first, coming in from the kitchen with two wine glasses in his hands. “Rafe! Do you want wine? Um...Savannah…?”

Rafe’s face fell and his shoulders dropped as he clutched her hand a little tighter. “Her name is Sophie, Dad. I’ve only told you that at least ten times.”

“It’s okay.” She excused quickly with an overly polite smile. “We’ve only met once, at your Christmas party.”

“Right, right, I remember.” Ward nodded and set the glasses down at the table. “I’ll get you both a glass, hold on. Rose!” He called out, going back into the kitchen.

Rafe gave her an apologetic glance and she shook her head quickly. “It’s fine. Doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter.”

“Yes, well, it’s fine. Are Sarah and Wheezie here?”

“I already asked, Sarah’s back at school and Wheezie got out of this to hang out with some friends.” He had texted them the night before for support, but had no luck.

“Okay.” She reached up and stroked her thumb over his cheek, whispering. “Relax your shoulders for me, baby.”

“Right.” He nodded, but stayed tense. Rose returned with Ward a few moments later, with the whole bottle in hand and two empty glasses. “Rafe, you’re here. Sophie, hello, are you still jetlagged from your trip?”

“Um, no.” Sophie replied curtly. “We’ve been back for a few days now.”

“Oh, you just looked a little tired. Maybe it’s the lighting.” Rose gave her a sweet smile and gestured around, although the entire dining room was filled with natural light.

“Maybe.” Sophie forced herself to agree, sitting after Rafe pulled out her chair for her. All their plates were already set out with individual portions, and she noticed there was more salad on her plate than anyone else’s, but didn’t dare say a thing.

“Tell me about your internship, Rafe. You didn’t leave early for the trip, did you?” Ward asked, starting to eat and Sophie took that as an invitation to start as well. When she reached for the wrong fork, Rafe tried to subtly reach out and push the other one toward her.

“No, I finished it then went out to Spain. The internship was good, I learned a lot. I have a job offer from them.”

“You’re not accepting, of course.” Rose replied, then raised her eyebrows at his pause to answer. “Right? Aren’t you coming home after graduation to work with your father?”

“I have a couple options.” Rafe replied vaguely, taking a larger sip of wine than what was considered polite.

To his surprise, Ward nodded in agreement. “You can explore a few things before you come home, it’ll give you more experience for joining the board. A year or so after graduation, that’s fine.”

“You’ll let him swan around instead of doing his job?”

“A couple years won’t hurt anything. He’s in supply chain, Rose, it’s relevant work.”

Rafe had a small smile as he picked at his food with the fork, then lifted his head. “What if I didn’t get a job in supply chain? To start?”

Ward fixed him with a stern gaze. “If this is about your minor, I don’t want to hear it.”

His smile dropped as quickly as he’d found it. “No, yeah, supply chain is smart.”

Rose glanced between the two of them, then cocked her head at Sophie. “What are you studying?”

“I’m in architecture.” Sophie replied, tensing a little.

“Oh. That’s cute. I’ve been looking to hire someone to help decorate our parlor, actually -”

“It’s, um, designing buildings, not interior decorating. It requires a master’s.” Sophie cut her off, with a little more edge to her voice than necessary.

Rose nodded. “Right. What’s the starting salary, around 30k? It’s a good thing you’re with Rafe, you won’t have to sacrifice for a tiny apartment once you graduate.”

Sophie flinched, stabbing her fork into the salad harder than necessary. “It depends on the firm.”

Rafe stayed silent, staring at his wine glass. They all sat there quietly as the clinks of their forks and their glasses echoed in the room for a few moments as they all ate, or pushed around the food on their plates.

“Rafe.”

His head snapped up at Ward. “Yes sir.”

“Are you still wanting the plane and the house for your fall break?”

Sophie didn’t dare look up to show the surprise flash across her face.

“Yes, sir, if that’s alright. It’s just a small group.” Rafe replied, nodding quickly. “I’ll do that remote work like you asked, call into the meetings if you need me to.”

“That’ll work.” Ward nodded. “You haven’t taken Sophie down there, just Brooklyn, right?”

“Mm. Yeah. That was a while ago.” Rafe sighed. “I haven’t dated her in over a year.”

“You’ll love it, Sophie,” Rose smiled at her. “It’s the best, so luxurious. You’re probably not used to it so it’ll be a treat.”

She bit the inside of her cheek, hard. “Right.”

Rafe glanced down at his watch as he briefly squeezed her knee under the table. “Thank you for having us over for lunch, Dad, Rose, but we have to catch our flight tonight and haven’t packed up yet. Sophie’s dad is driving us to the airport.”

“Alright.” Ward rose from his chair at the same time as his son, nodding. “Call me, okay? Check in once in a while?”

“Yeah, Dad, of course.” Rafe relaxed into the hug with his dad, pulling away with a broad smile. “Maybe you could come up for parent’s weekend this year.”

“I’ll check the calendar. Sophie, it was nice to see you again.” Ward walked them both out and she was unbelievably stiff as she shook his hand, her jaw set. When they walked out hand in hand again to her dad’s car, parked at the very end of the drive, she stayed quiet.

Rafe slid into the car with her and gave her a grin, like the weight had been lifted from his shoulders. “That wasn’t bad, right? I expected much worse!”

“Yeah.” She nodded weakly, staring ahead at his house out the window. “Can we go?”

He started the car with a frown, reaching out to place his hand on her thigh but she shifted away. “Sophie. What’s up?”

“Let’s just get home.” She offered a fake smile that he saw through right away, but he didn’t press it.

The rest of the drive was quiet as Rafe turned the radio up and tried to ignore her leg jittering anxiously and how she kept switching her ring from finger to finger, a constant nervous habit of hers. When he pulled into the driveway at her house, he reached out again and stilled her leg. “Sophie.”

“You didn’t say a thing.” She murmured to herself, not looking at him.

“What do you mean?” He frowned and reached out to take her hand.

Sophie pulled back a little, but turned to look at him. “Nothing, it’s fine. I’m glad it went well with your dad.”

“But…”

She leaned forward and gave him a short kiss and a smile to match, shaking her head. “You said it yourself, we have to go pack. Come on.” She got out of the car and didn’t give him a second glance backward as she strode into the house.

Rafe sat there and watched, dumbfounded and unsure of what he’d done.

taglist: @whoeveniskendall @kkmaybank @karsinner @outerbanksbro @outerbankspreferences @randomficsandshit @jailcalledlife @tovvaa @moniamaybank @illbesafeforyou @dontjinx-it @freddymaybank @jjmaybankzz @g4bster @oopsiedoopsie23 @babygal-babygal @thecuthoney @babeyglo

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron fanfic #obx fanfic #outer banks fanfic #rafe x sophie #college rafe #frat rafe #mine #ok rlly needed to get this out but i need to concentrate more on the big conversation so cliffhanger sry!!!! #actually no i'm giving you almost eight thousand words i'm not sorry. i take it back

[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

It's been a long time comiiiing down this rooaaddd. I haven't updated this foreverrr, but I'm doing it nooooooowww! 🎤🎵🎶

Part 23: Movement

"I hope I don't have to jump up here," you sigh gripping the pole to test its sturdiness. It seems strong enough, but then so does the hardwood floor. "I don't have the upper body strength to hold myself up and I definitely don't need to bust my ass in these slippery socks--what," you smile watching Toni bite her lip at your skepticism from Ava's other side.

"Nothing. You have a lot of cushion, you'll bounce back," she gestures eyeing your rear. She's joking but you're serious.

"I'm just saying socks on hardwood with jumping if you're uncoordinated seems like a recipe for disaster."

"You get used to it, stick with us," Ava comforts. Stick with us.. It echoes in your mind. They actually want you there.. continuously.

A small group of women in variety of shapes and sizes, mostly black, gradually takes the remaining poles as the mingling conversations rise. It's a comfortable environment. The sun streams in through the windows bringing in nice natural light. Adjusting the band on your sports bra, you hop but neglect to wrap the pole with your legs. Toni chuckles in good humor.

"Ugh.. I don't know about this you guys."

"It's just a workout, girl, you'll be fine," she waves. "Besides, your NOT sugar daddy will love it when you show him all that assss in motion."

"Oh my God, he's NOT a sugar daddy," you whisper as she mocks you. "Y'all are so aggravating."

"That smile says different.. Just remember to tell me all the nasty gritty details when you throw it back with these moves. Yo' ass got handled before," her nude nails clink against the pole judgingly. They'd lost their minds when you told them about that night in the hotel. You had to tell the story twice because they wanted to visualize it. "He did whatever he wanted to do to that kitty, beat it to high hell. Now YOU are gonna have the power to put it on him. That fatass bunda gone kill him, just wait on it."

Watching your wagon in the full length studio wall mirror you grip the pole to make it wiggle watching it move on your reflection. "I don't know, see, I can move it I just can't move it seductively. I'm kinda stiff."

"She ain't ready for all that yet, Toni, let her take it slow. She can't just jump out there, class ain't even start yet," Ava laughs. "She need the basics."

"I need to learn how to dance," you interject. "Like lap dance and all that jazz.."

"That's simple," a woman's voice cuts in demanding the focus of the room of women who seem to recognize her on entry. Casually, you spin to meet a pair of long toned legs like a gazelle building up to a slender curved shape to be envied.. covered in glowing rich brown skin..

This can't be real, you blink as your mind whisks you back to the fateful day of your meeting each other. The memory is fresh as if it were yesterday.

“What’s your name,” she murmurs, voice as addictive as Erik's. You glance at him and he shrugs leaving the decision of how to respond up to you. When you answer, she recites your name like a poem and you smile. She has a calming effect that puts you at ease and she’s so, so beautiful. She tells you you’re the beautiful one and it makes your face heat. Her fingers lightly brush the warmth of your cheek before moving to her own erect nipples tweaking the silver bars.

“You wanna touch them?” She asks while stepping closer and she reaches out for your hand to pull it to her breast. Your eyes nervously flit to Erik’s and he doesn’t intervene. Not knowing quite what to do you tweak the silver bar and she sighs in pleasure. She moves your other hand to her other breast encouraging you to do the same. Her fingers find your chin again and then she’s close, lips coming in hot. You close your eyes.

Those eyes..

Her black lined cat eyes lock onto yours echoing your shock with a thick and strange energy. She's just as shook seeing you yet she never loses the graceful glide in her step to her teaching pole, glancing evenly from you and squaring her gaze to cover the class.

"Well damn," Ava blurts reading the thoughts of the room as the instructor flips her long high pony of burgundy locs. An exhale is all you muster as your brain thinks of several ways this could end badly.

"Hello my SugarDoll Fitness family," Shay waves to the group in a motion ending with her hand perched cutely nder her chin. It gains an equal positive return from the class.

Smiling just to fit in you look around and nod politely wondering what excuse you could make to Toni and Ava if you leave, especially after Ava just invited you to 'stick with' them. Would the truth suffice or would it bring more unnecessary drama and questions?

Toni and Ava would have a field day if they knew the real nature of your relationship with Erik and Ms. Shay. Last you remember, Shay's pierced nipples were in your between your fingertips. She wanted to devour you whole according to Erik. You haven't even told them you were in the BDSM life yet. They don't even know about the submission thing between you and Erik, they're still stuck on sugar daddy.. It's not something you wanted to share.

That's not something to bring up in this setting..

The way Shay looked at you back then made you feel like she was a starved tigress and you were the live prey, but somehow you were comfortable. She was intense but not intimidating... unlike Erik who initially made you so nervous you couldn't relax. No, she wasn't like that.. It felt more like she was wise beyond her years, but very playful and mischievous.. You'd liked her energy.

Then Erik went and cut her off because of his insane jealousy which was great in the sense that it was one step closer to being his only partner, but dumb in the way that it came about. It's one of his flaws. Erik needs to put his jealousy in check before he does something too impulsive to reverse or gets his feelings hurt.

If he'd never taken you to her home, they'd still have their BDSM dynamic, which brings up the issue of blame. Was it your fault? Does she blame you? Does she even care or miss the man?They seemed to pair well despite his gripes that she was troublesome.

Funny... You'd think he'd love a troublesome woman. He say he like spice and Shay had that with the experience to match, so then why choose you? Why not her over you or her and you? He could've made it work. Something about her being too dominant seems like a copout for him, looking back..

"I see some familiar faces. Faith.. Nicki.. Lynn.. Janell.." Her ruby red lips part in a smile and there's something about the simplest of her motions. Everything is a subtle demand for power.. "I see a lot of new faces too," her eyes roll down the line to yours, lingering briefly like she wants to say much more. Her eyes lower for the briefest of moments and where you anticipated malice, there seems to be none. There's something on her mind instead. 

"You good," Ava nudges your side in question. You flinch slightly but nod. There's something Shay wants to get out but she can't with everyone else present.

"I want us to get to know each other in here as women. We all have our reasons for being here.. Let's go around the room. I'll start," Shay announces with a slow walk to her right, a natural sway to her hips. "As some of you may know, my name is Shayla Berry, Shay for short aka SugarDoll. Yes, I am an exotic dancer. Yes, I am a dominatrix," her eyes roll playfully. "I also paint by trade and teach pole fitness. I am a multifaceted business woman with a flare for the artistic," her black painted fingers flare. "I meditated on having my own successful studio and then I manifested it to reality when I rented this place a few months ago and baby when I tell you the law of attraction works, I am flourishing."

She gestures to her right and the introductions begin from the repeat students as well as the new. There's a teacher and a nurse present. Everyone's common goal seems to boil down to exploring their sensuality while having fun with dance and getting in a good workout.  Then there's Toni. She's a traveler, which you knew. She likes to shop and eat. What you didn't know was that she is also a pilot and works 100 hours a week max. As for Ava, you knew she was originally from the ATL and lived a sugar baby life, but you did not know that she was raised amongst strippers and that she's also an audiologist. She had to explain to the class what an audiologist was.

"And you?" Shay's fiery eyes focus in as she takes a half step towards you.

"Y/N," you say as if she doesn't already know. She knows more than Toni and Ava, she saw your whole coochie for the sake of giving you a biology lesson. Embarrassing.. "I'm from Cali.. born and raised. I don't travel that often, but I'd love to go to Europe.. I love movies, it's really all I do.. watch movies, sleep, and work.. I work in cybersecurity."

"You prevent hackers?" Ava's neck cranes and you nod as she gives a look of approval.

"This is probably messed up," you pause as she and Toni both look up, "But I don't know why I assumed you two were spending men's money in the mall when we met," you whisper feeling superficial. Just because they're universally gorgeous like celebrities doesn't mean they aren't successful outside of that and able to afford the finer things on their own accord. You can do both.

"..We were," Ava shrugs simply. "My money stay in my savings.. I haven't paid a bill with my own money in two years."

"Work smarter not harder babe," Toni smirks. "You oughtta know."

"That's just it, I don't know because that's not something I've experienced because Erik and I are friends with benefits..," you sigh. "A lot of benefits..."

When introductions wrap up, the lesson starts and Shay jumps right into it with terminology foreign to you.

"This is a mixed pole fitness class.. So go ahead and face your poles, we're going to start with some body rolls. Hands low on the pole like so," she demonstrates. "Roll it out." Her body waves in a fluid S motion. "Chest, abs, hips... Chest, abs, hips.. Let it roll, smoothly down to the floor and up. Y/N, get on your tiptoes, baby. Lexi, get your arms involved. Stick that ass out, don't be scared.. Perfect. I'm watching all of y'all," she says pointedly. "..Again."

You watch and try your best to duplicate, your S moreso a stiff Z and she switches her hand position to the top of her pole.

"Now we're gonna walk around and this helps loosen the joints. Think tight and tall as you stride around the pole on those toes. I don't want any flat feet. Keep on your imaginary heels, Y/N," he blinks your way. "Now stop on the side and circle those hips." Her hips rotate as though they're on a swivel.

When you look to Toni and Ava, they're already moving like pros which tells you they do this often. They travel together, shop together, share life, and take classes like this together. They're already extremely close. It's surprising they'd think to invite you into their circle..

"Outside arm and leg sweeps back, across the floor, sweep out and back."

"Like you're swimming," someone adds.

"Exactly, like you're swimming. Next move, grab that knee, pull it up and out, soft hands, open that chest, roll it back... same leg flick the toe and kick forward."

"I can't go that high," the same woman from before says."

"That's fine, go to where you're comfortable. Lunge back same leg.. and we're going to repeat the process with the other leg."

The routine goes on minutes more until she gets to a pirouette which is a more familiar term. Unfortunately, that's followed by slow pushups which, of course, doesn't happen. Toni uses her knees, but Ava does the full set of pushups. She's the only one.

"Showoff," Toni mutters.

The next moves require a lot of knee pivoting and borderline twerking in slow motion. You feel the workout in your thighs, your knees, your abs, and your back. It's only been fifteen minutes out of the hour and you're stopping for water. Some of the motions have been easy to grasp, but some have been frustrating. It's only my first time, you remind yourself.

Thirty minutes in, you've developed an idea of how to move and what to incorporate into your sex life.. when it revives. Putting the moves together into a routine is the current issue.

"I could do some of this," you say to Ava. "I just wish I could borrow some of your core strength."

"You'll get it with time, stay consistent. I'm holding you to it."

"Y/N," Shay calls out as she body rolls and raises her leg high. "What's this about you not knowing how to dance, mama?"

"Huh," I pause standing straight. She remembered. "Well I can dance. I can do the nae nae and the little tiktok dances, but this..," I gesture to the pole. "This is a different story. I guess I'm not the seductive type."

"Have you ever had sex?"

The question cuts and you feel all eyes glued on you. She must know that you and Erik have already.. on multiple occasions...

"....Of course."

"Then... you're the seductive type," she says simply. "Dance is a style of communication. It's about movement and seduction." She comes close and her finger gently snakes your collarbone as she circles you, standing directly behind, her slim hands on your waist.

"We really need to talk.. later," she whispers quietly in your ear. Her hips line up with yours, her center against your ass, and she winds. "If you can walk, you can dance, Y/N. If you can dance, the seduction is that much easier.." This time her words are addressed to the class. Her hips guide yours against the pole as she grinds against it through you. "Follow my rhythm."

You move exactly as you feel her move, in a groove, and after a few moments when you've perfected the body roll she backs up. When you do it on your own in the mirror, you have the S shape down pact.

"That's it, I'm coming back," you smile at the pole. At the end of class you're sore and tired but excited to have picked up some tricks. Meeting Shay's eye, you excuse yourself briefly from Ava and Tony with the excuse of asking about her paintings. "Shay," you whisper once you're close and she leads you out of the space.. far.. all the way outside before she looks around. There's no one standing out nearby, only well groomed trees and sidewalk with some grass and a parking lot.

"How have you been," is the first thing she asks as if she's truly concerned. Her eyes convey a lot.

"Why?.. I'm good," you stare echoing her strange expression. She's having a tough time saying what she wants to say.. she's pausing a lot, hesitating.

"Shay, what's wrong.. I get the feeling you want to tell me something but you're conflicted. I swear I won't run tell Erik.. whatever it is.."

"You're still with him," her brows rise in shock. "Okay so he was serious.. Did he ever mention.. anything about, um.. our last meeting together?"

"You guys had sex one last time, I know about it."

She takes a deep unsteady breath and instantly I know there's more to the story than what he said. She looks around again as if she's nervous.

"He didn't mention anything about.. himself?... As far as what he does...?"

"Hm? Well, yeah, he told me he does the video game thing. We just went to Texas-"

"That's-," she pauses with her mouth wide as if she's deeply confused. "Um.. you know what. Just... be careful okay? Take care of yourself."

"What?" Of all the random things to say. "What are you talking about? Wait," you grab her shoulder as she's walking off. "I feel like you're trying to tell me something about him and I wish you'd just spit it out.."

"Well look at you, definitely got bolder," her eyes flick up and down you. "Actually, it's nothing.. I just wanted to check on you.. make sure you were doing alright, that's all," she smiles, but it doesn't touch her eyes. "I'm going back inside to make sure no one has any further questions for me."

Letting her go, you watch her and something doesn't sit right. She wasn't telling you something and you don't know what that something is, but it's making your mind spin. Ava and Toni come out and walk toward you.

"She showed me one of the paintings in her car," you lie though you're not sure why, it just comes out and they accept it moving on. They have plans to get massages and you're invited there too. The three of you get the full body massage and it's relaxing after all that exercise. When you finally leave them and get to Erik's you OD on water, eat, shower, and watch TV upstairs until you pass out sleep.

The next day, they contact you on your lunch break and actually meet you for brunch, happy to see where you work. You have to apologize to Tanner for canceling lunch plans with him. He's so used to eating with you and vice versa. You've gotten used to looking into his pretty blue eyes. At least he gets to meet Toni and Ava briefly and they call him white chocolate which he eats up. You throw subliminals that maybe he and Toni should hook up but neither seem truly interested outside of surface good- natured flirting.

The following day after work is the beach. The three of you sunbathe while sharing stories about family and teen years. "This is the life," you jest laid back on your towel with your sunglasses on feeling warm and toasty. "I've been missing this. I need to meet more people to do things like this with, I get tired of sitting home alone."

"Aww. I don't wanna leave you here by yourself. I wish we didn't have to leave Cali or maybe you could come south with us," Toni says, but it's not realistic. They can afford to travel all the time but you have to work. When they do leave, you see them off.

-----

"I asked for chocolate," Erik grumbled laid out in his hospital bed six weeks into bed rest. They'd given him vanilla snack pack and he hated vanilla.

"Here you go," his nurse teased, used to his temper. "Stubborn ass.. I will personally bring you your chocolate pudding."

"Two.. and take this nasty one with you," he hudged it toward her. She laughed. 

"Baby you can eat all the chocolate pudding you want when you up outta here. You finally got the go ahead as long as you stay the fuck off that damn leg.. Don't kiss your teeth, you've been doing everything short of p90x up in here."

"I wasn't on my leg though, those were upper body workouts.."

"You still need to relax."

"Hell yeah.. soon as I get my pudding.."

She shook her head, amused. Erik knew that once he left she'd think of him still. She was pretty nice though, so maybe he'd think of her too.. just maybe. He thought of telling her the truth before leaving... Perhaps he'd be there if she ever needed someone permanently removed from her life at a discounted rate..

@soufcakmistress @itsiesha @ju5tp34chy @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @blackpantherimagines @blackpinup22 @muse-of-mbaku @goddessofthundathighs @panthergoddessbast @thadelightfulone @misspooh @marvelmaree @youreadthatright @forbeautyandlife @theunsweetenedtruth @bidibidibombaclaat @myboyfriendgiriboy @dameshaemonique @hidden-treasures21 @mysidefanting @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @syndrlla97 @winteroflife @thotyana-in-this-hoe   @texasbama @gingerylimonte @princessstevens   @magic-madness-heavensin @wawakanda-btch @wakanda-inspired @blackgirloneshots @thegucciwaffle @thiccdaddy-mbaku @purplehairgawdess @indigoxsummers @cccccx1   @dynastylnoire @iamrheaspeaks @blowmymbackout @they-call-me-le @theblulife @raysunshine78 @sheisexcellent-blog

#original #erik killmonger #killmonger #erik stevens #erik killmonger fanfiction #erik stevens au #black panther killmonger #black panther fanfiction #house rules

[sodone-withlife]

icarus fell, and blood stained the ground

i'm back!! (but not really—the new school year literally starts in an hour and it will be back to my pathological dependence on academic validation. at least i can say i've technically published another fic before summer break ends)

anyway, here's the fic in response to part 1 of sumayyah's post. i published a companion poem for this some time ago. as per usual, i gave up on proofreading so hopefully any mistakes don't detract from the story. also, i hope the formatting and jumping back and forth between italics makes sense—let me know if it doesn't, though it might be easier to read on ao3 (it should go up on there by 4pm PST because school)

warnings: murder, major character death (may potentially be classified as suicide-by-proxy, depending on your interpretation), guns, canon typical violence, slight gore at the end, mentioned substances

word count: 1.9k words

The damned man thought of everything, Jessica thought as she scowled at the damned folder that sat innocuously on the large mahogany desk.

The desk that would soon be cleared, all traces of the previous owner gone.

She lifted a shaky hand and brushed it through her hair, shuddering at its greasy and unkempt state that hinted at the state she had been in recently. Weary to the bone, she forced herself to sit back up and grab her phone, dialing the number that was written on the sticky note placed on the inside cover of the folder. It didn’t surprise her to hear an unfamiliar female voice answer the phone with a “Ms. Brooks?”

He had thought of everything, after all.

Really, the only thing she was surprised at was the sheer extent of his connections—but thinking back to her phone calls with Haley back when he was still practicing law, the talks about extravagant offers from top corporations and firms, she really wasn’t surprised. Thus, it made sense that her call to the top law firm in the state would be answered within two dial tones and by someone who already knew who she was.

And within minutes of talking with the woman who introduced herself as Ms. Stevens, Jessica became even more aware of just how prepared her brother-in-law had been before he walked to his dea—

Not an in-law anymore—her brother. He had long since earned that designation, that spot in her broken family, no matter how much self-flagellation he put himself through in regards to her sister’s murder and no matter how much abuse her father hurled at him in the years before the man who once viewed him as a son succumbed to dementia.

Hours later, despite having already reached her limit twenty minutes into the call, she finally hung up the phone with only funeral arrangements as an immediate concern. Slowly, she stood up from the chair and mechanically made her way into the tiny bathroom that had once been a familiar sight, when her nephew was still a child—

She forced her mind away from that minefield; she wasn’t willing to spend another sleepless night thinking about what had gone down in the past month, what had happened a week ago in that apartment, what her nephew was doing and thinking in the cell that only seemed to become colder and crueler the more she thought about it.

How many prisons had he visited? How many interrogation rooms, holding cells, general population cells, max security cells, death row cells? Did he ever get used to it? Could he allow himself to get used to it, to forget that these people are also human no matter the crimes they’ve committed?

A careful hand fell onto Jessica’s shoulder, and she shuddered under the warmth that seeped into her body, a warmth that had been lacking from her life for a long time now. She turned to see Morgan staring back at her, concerned.

“You didn’t pick up your phone,” he explained neutrally, flicking his eyes towards her phone—and sure enough, there were ten missed calls, each from a member of the team. She looked back up but avoided his concerned gaze only to latch onto her reflection in the mirror and internally winced at her haggard appearance.

“Did you—“ she coughed, clearing her throat, “have you figured out what happened?” Morgan’s unspoken question about her well-being went unanswered, and she continued to avoid looking at him.

She watched the man shake his head through the mirror, unsurprised and once again cursing her brother for his incessant habit of playing his cards close to his chest, especially when it came to personal issues.

How else is—was—he one of the best at poker in the bureau, often even beating Reid?

“He hasn’t talked, either,” Morgan informed her quietly, saving her the pain of asking the question herself. “Forensics is still struggling to put together a cohesive picture. To be honest, I doubt we’ll ever find out what actually happened in that apartment.” He shook his head, frustrated at the man he considered his brother.

If either of them bothered to ask, they would have found that both were truthfully unsurprised at this outcome, given what they only recently learned about the factors and circumstances that led to it. The few established facts about this case in addition to speculation based on systematically organized notes left in an even more meticulously organized folder painted a clear enough picture of the events preceding the fall.

But it wasn’t really an accidental, flailing fall.

In all truthfulness, he didn’t fight it.

Icarus let himself fall to his death in an attempt to compensate for his hubris, to suffer the consequences of his mistakes, and it was both a cowardly attempt to escape the hellish burns caused by the boiling, melting wax and a selfless attempt to teach posterity to avoid ending up like him.

Jessica remembered the warmth of Morgan’s embrace when he ignored all protocol and took it upon himself to inform her of what had transpired in the past two months, regardless of the still-ongoing investigation. It didn’t do much to soothe the cold that had threatened to swallow her whole as she listened to the details in silent horror.

He had sat her down in her apartment, the one she had taken care of her ailing father in before he finally died and the one she couldn’t bear to move out of for all of the memories that had been formed inside—with her father on his good days, with her brother, with her nephew

“A week ago, we were invited by MPD to consult on a series of killings that happened over the course of a month. We had an eye on the situation since the second murder, and there were two more victims in the span of a week before we were finally called in,” he began quietly.

He had suspicions as to what was happening by the time the team was invited in on the case at the personal request of the MPD chief. It certainly wasn’t the first time he had come across this profile before, but there were simply too many puzzle pieces with matching edges for the connections to be brushed off as a coincidence.

“Based on the rate at which bodies were popping up, we anticipated another one within two days of us being called in, but the killer had gone suspiciously silent. We went through crime scenes, forensic reports, and things weren’t adding up.”

"It’s a local case and we’ve coordinated with MPD multiple times, they know the drill. I’d like to take a personal look as well, the brass has been all up in my business about this case given its proximity to the Hill."

That’s what he said to the team regarding him suddenly taking the initiative to go to the crime scenes despite his responsibilities—it had been a while since he last went out to crime scenes, often taking care of the office politics and coordinating the investigation back at whatever precinct or office the team had taken over.

“There were odd inconsistencies, missing pieces of evidence… There was evidence to show that the killer was an amateur, but ultimately the profile we ended up building was nowhere near as detailed as we hoped it could be—but it ultimately went a long way in helping us figure out what was really happening.”

Old case files going missing from his home office, growing interest in his job, sudden mood swings happening long after the worst of puberty, increased isolation, dropping grades…

Absentee fathers of Georgetown students being stabbed and shot to death as if the killer was unsure about what to do, an innocuous Jack-in-the-Box takeout bag sitting near the last three bodies…

Numerous signs, and yet it was the outwardly irrelevant piece of trash, perhaps a sign of the killer’s gluttony—a sick joke that only he could have recognized—that led him to put all of the horrifying pieces together. It’s been over a decade, and yet the memories of that damned day remained as clear as ever, dogging his every footstep. Nightmares in which the worst happens still often visit him in his sleep, sometimes even combined with the effects of Peter Lewis’s drug concoction, effects lingering even after all these years.

“Somehow, we completely missed the fact that he fit the victimology. Maybe it was because of his efforts to distract us… If we had put it together earlier we might have been able to figure it out much earlier, and maybe everything could have turned out differently.”

Only after intensive counseling and careful editing of his case reports was he allowed to continue in the bureau after Lewis and his targeted attacks, and yet he knew he was still being watched. It was with that thought in mind that he made a decision on how to handle the situation. Either way, his life would be irrevocably changed, and there would be casualties alongside him.

All he had to do was figure out how to minimize them.

“He never came in that morning; Reid was the first to notice the lights off in the office. We were headed towards his apartment complex as soon as we saw a cleared-out office with a retirement letter being the only thing left on the desk. All of the pictures, trinkets, law books, messy stacks of paperwork—gone.”

A retirement letter for formality's sake, one copy emailed directly to the director and one printed on his desk, to simplify some things for the bureau and to ensure that Jessica and his son get his pension should the worst happen. All of his decisions, meticulously recorded and justified, except for this last one to protect the team from the consequences of his choice. All of his notes, all of the claimed evidence, carefully stored in the file box he left next to the retirement letter back in the office. Favors accumulated since law school called in, contacts throughout the local justice system ready to step in and deal with the fallout.

All of this, an attempt to compensate for the mistakes he’s made over the years and his hubris, to protect the remnants of his family and the team.

Morgan couldn’t finish telling Jessica what had happened, voice somehow caught in his throat and refusing to cooperate. He simply shook his head, and she folded in on herself, the weight of the last week too much for her to hold up. Slowly, he pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back but not doing much more to soothe her.

This is a wound that wouldn’t ever heal.

The story ends like this:

Icarus burned, and Aaron Hotchner said nothing as the hand that held the gun against his temple shook with uncertainty. Everything he wanted to say was written—one might call him a coward, but writing had always been so much easier for him—and he knew that he would be the final casualty, that the killings would stop after tonight.

Icarus fell, and Aaron Hotchner was flung sideways, the unyielding bullet from his gun fired by his own son shredding the brain that thought had of everything but the emotional and psychological effects his final decision would have on his family and friends.

Daedalus grieved over his son’s crumpled form, and Jack Hotchner would be found with his father’s dead body in his shaking arms as he stared blankly at sights unseen to the team, who had come hours too late.

Blood stained the ground, seeping into the cracks and crevices of grasping fingers, and nothing would ever be the same.

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #bau #jessica brooks #jack hotchner #tw character death #tw guns #tw violence #tw murder #tw death #just to cover my bases #tw substances #tw drugs #tw gore

[mystistyx]

blue paint

dabi x OC female (first POV)

chapter 1

2.2K+ words

Sighing over the spilt art supplies, I fumbled to pick up my paints, brushes and notebooks. The chattering of acquaintances nearby elevated my heart rate as the last supply finds its way into my bag. I had jitters today for some reason. I couldn't tell if it was the new model coming in or from the fight that happened downtown last night. As soon as I heard crashing and banging, I immediately closed and barricaded my windows. I'm not a fan of the work of both the pro heroes and villains. One side fights for peace, the other, violence. At the end of the day, they both harm each other with strong intent. 

"Hey, Sapphire!" A voice called.

I looked up from above and saw Kayla, perky and cheery as ever. She bounced her way to me, with her ridiculous large bag of supplies. She was always afraid of not being prepared, as if Ms. Claudia's studio wasn't packed to the brim of all the supplies you would need for a lifetime.

"Hey.." I responded. My name wasn't Sapphire, it was Toni. Everyone in my life art class called me Sapphire because all I did was paint and sketch with blues. While the class wasn't for school, only recreation, the teacher in charge of the class, Ms. Claudia, didn't mind my limited color choice. My art spoke for itself and blues gave it the right voice. 

When people think of the color blue, they think of sadness and pits of wallow that come from deep inside. That blue resembles tears and a broken heart that will take forever to heal. But I disagree. Blue is the color of completeness and beauty. It sends a spark of joy into my mind and out on paper comes a masterpiece no one thought could have ever been made. In a way, I guess you could say blue is the warmest color in my eyes. There are enticing azures, precious periwinkles and glorious royal blues. All different hues, all different stories to tell, each with their own personality. I find a deep connection to them and it's difficult to express my love for them if it isn't in a piece of art.

I picked myself up and clutched my bag so nothing would  fall out again and I studied Kayla. She pushed some of her red hair behind her ear and continued to hold her bright smile, still holding onto her huge bag for dear life. She really did have a warehouse of supplies in her bag.

"Are you excited for the new model?" She asked as a few of our art mates walked passed, giggling and so free.

"I'm not sure.." I was honest, "I was just getting used to our last model. I had just gotten their scars right.." The last model was open about their accident. They were involved in a mugging in the outskirts of town and they had stab wounds running up and down their torso and back side from the struggle. The ranges in color from still being relatively fresh were difficult in my colors, but my art was developing in getting them just perfect.

"Oh, come on Sapph.." Another nickname Kayla had for me, "You know you drew them perfectly the first time. Don't beat yourself up.." Kayla chuckled as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder, making the both of us head to the back room for the studio, "This new model will give us a new challenge. And maybe a chance for me to draw circles around you.."

I finally let out a sigh and laugh, "We'll see about that.." Kayla was the only person I considered more than an acquaintance but somehow still less than a friend. I'm not too good with friends. In a way, I have high expectations for people I interact with and even higher for myself. While Kayla did know the basics of me, favorite color, favorite food, favorite movie to cry to, etc, she didn't know what made me.. me. Yet at the end of the day, she knew how to get a little laugh out of me just to make me feel good.

As we both stepped down the hallway, we could hear Ms. Claudia sing with joy, greeting each of the students in the room. We continued to approach the doorway and we could see Ms. Claudia's outrageous blonde hair. She turned around and gave a blinding smile with her hands held out. Her eyeglass holder necklace swung from side to side, shining and sparkling with light green glitter.

"Ah! My two lovelies, Kayla and Toni! How are you two ladies this afternoon?" The best way to describe Ms. Claudia was to think of Ms. Frizzle. The love of science was replaced with the beauty of art and vibrant and wacky clothes were replaced with rustic, chic and fitting outfits. Depending on my mood for the day though, her personality could irritate me, but I know she's always coming from a good place. After all, who could truly be mad at her with her stunning brown eyes staring at you.

"Hello, Ms. Claudia!" Kayla sung back, waving and making her way to her easel. 

"Good afternoon.." I nodded as I made my way past Ms. Claudia.

"Hey.." Ms. Claudia placed a gentle hand onto my shoulder, stopping me, "You feeling not so blue today?"

Normally when people feel blue, they feel down in the dumps. For me, feeling blue is a good thing and that's how Ms. Claudia gauges my emotions for the day. She has similar methods with the other students as well. Ms. Claudia believes art cannot truly be expressed properly if the artist isn't in the right condition to do so. So for me today, not feeling blue is detrimental to my art.

"Not as blue as I can be.." I admitted while looking at her, "But I promise, it won't hold me back.." I gave her a soft and assuring smile to try and move on, I didn't want her to know of my worries. They weren't on the priority list of issues in the world.

Ms. Claudia raised her eyebrow in suspicion but quickly dropped it and returned her sunshine smile, she didn't want to press any further and I was grateful, "All right, dear. I hope your turquoise returns soon. After all, today is reflection day!" She sang out loud again.

Oh dear god.. Out of all the days... I thought to myself.

I lightly huffed as I pushed by the small crowd of familiar faces to my easel. Reflection day was a special day once a month where Ms. Claudia made us put a small mirror on our easel and stare at ourselves for five minutes. Within that five minutes, we have to consider our favorite and our least favorite facial flaw and compare them to last month to see if they changed or remained the same. Either way, we have to incorporate them into the model sketch we're supposed to do for that day. 

I found my easel, easily the best spot in the room. Near the windows in the room, giving the direct light to the model no matter what position they're in. The second best would be Kayla's to the right of me. I glanced over at Kayla and she was deep diving into her bag of chaos, pulling out her assortment of pencils, chalks, oils and pallets. I chuckled to myself and dropped my bag next to my easel. When I lifted myself up, I noticed a new addition to the room. A small TV above my head, the screen was black but the light fuzzy sound was on. It seemed to have been on idle.

"Was this here last time?" I looked at Kayla.

Kayla tossed her bag around and looked up, "Maybe it's to help the new model focus and sit still?" A few erasers plopped and fell out of her bag, bouncing towards the middle of the room, "Ooops!" Kayla set her bag gently down and chased after the erasers. She giggled, along with a few others watching her.

"What kind of model doesn't know how to sit still?" I mumbled. I made my way behind my easel, still pondering the thought, and noticed the mirror already in place. I sat down on my stool, only seeing Kayla's head as she popped back up, grinning from catching erasers. Kayla shimmied her way back to her stool and organized her supplies once more.

My eyes eventually locked on myself through the mirror. I was a semi confident person, I definitely had my off days and the others I felt like no one could ever compare. There was never any consistency and I believed that was my flaw. It wasn't a physical one, but a mental one. I wondered if I could get away with putting that into art this time. Scanning my freckles, my gaze caught the TV behind me. An uneasiness came around again, I just wanted to know why it was here. Just so out of place.

"Okay, my young Picasso's!" Ms. Claudia's voice boomed through her rustic studio, calming the chatter of all of her 11 students, "As you all know or should know now, today is reflection day!" She clapped her hands with glee, "But today, your reflection will be a little different and that's because we also have a new model coming in today.."

Kayla pulled the hair tie off of her wrist and swirled her hair into a messy bun, "Exciting.." She softly said as she turned to me, cheesing her whites at me.

I nodded with little enthusiasm, giving an obvious fake smile. She stuck her tongue out at me and it made the both of us smile.

"For this reflection.." Ms. Claudia started, walking around the model's circle, "You will be considering the different paths humans can take. Yours versus someone you've never met. Comparing your shoes to theirs. Your flaws to theirs. Understanding their energy and molding it into yours.." Ms. Claudia's hands and arms were flayed out, trying to express her words into visuals. 

One of the students raised their hand, abruptly interrupting, "Ms. Claudia, what exactly does that mean?"

Ms. Claudia whipped around and gasped with theatrics, "As an artist, it can mean anything!" I could tell the student didn't understand as his eyebrow still furrowed, "I will cut this short as the model is also excited to be here. But I will ask this from all of you.." Her gentle eyes became stern and almost maternal, "When signing up for this recreation, each and everyone of you agreed to be open and welcoming to any model. No discrimination, no hate and no judgement. You will take them for who they are and show their true beauty through art. Do I make myself clear?"

In unison, every student in the room nodded and said, "Yes.."

"Fabulous!" Ms. Claudia walked back towards the privacy room for the models and whispered something into the curtain and nodded, "Everyone, meet our new model.." 

Ms. Claudia carefully drew back the curtain and the energy in the room turned tense and strangled with fear. Gasps and the sound of people covering their mouth almost echoed in the room. My eyes were wide, not in fear but in retaliation. He followed Ms. Claudia to the model circle. He was wearing a white towel along his cut waist, a bold choice for his body. Most models go with the white robes provided but knowing very little of his background, I assumed he was a fan of making an entrance. My hand clenched against my pants.

His eyes threw daggers into everyone's eyes as he lifted a leg up onto the model stand, a small smirk followed as he lifted his other leg. With his body fully in front of the windows, his maroon scars ate the afternoon light with ease. The modifications of his staples could make anyone sick to their stomach, yet they almost glistened whether he was still or in motion. His untouched skin was soft at the sight, so delicate it would be almost worth it to get near to him just to get a feel.

My eyes glanced at Kayla and she was in swoon, eyeing him up and down, most likely thinking unholy thoughts. I rolled my eyes as my focus went back onto him. He gave Kayla a quick wink before eyeing me. He could tell I wasn't the type to fall for a dark demeanor and attitude, so his response to me was a bigger smirk than before. I slightly gritted my teeth, I was completely over this. I was feeling a true red.

Before I could open my heated mouth, Ms. Claudia finally spoke up again, "Go on, you may introduce yourself.." Ms. Claudia slightly bowed as she gave him the floor.

He shifted his gaze from me to the rest of the small crowd, making sure he had everyone's attention. When he felt the time was right, he opened that dangerous mouth of his.

"I'm sure you all know who I am. Member of The League of Villains. Well, former member.." He snickered to himself, over his twisted and raspy voice, "Name's Dabi.."

master list // dabi’s ashtray

(( taglist form: here ))

#dabi #bnha dabi #mha #mha dabi #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #oc #oc tag #lov #villain #art #artist #fanfic #ongoing #enemies to friends to lovers #fluff #smut #mha smut #dabi smut #bnha touya #mha touya #touya todoroki #dabi x reader #dabi x oc #dabi imagine #dabi x female reader #dabi angst #dabi lemon

[andrei-svech]

today, tomorrow and all of our lives | n. mackinnon

Word Count: 7.3k Warnings: Some smut in the middle, swearing, minor character death. Summary: Leah reflects on her relationship with Nate through a series of memories they’ve shared in the minutes before they say I do.  a/n: Full disclosure this is the first piece I’ve written in almost 10 years. It turned out way longer than expected and I am so terrified to post it but I hope you all love it as much as I do. Any and all feedback is appreciated, happy reading! 

As she looked into the mirror, running her fingers over the white silk lining her frame, all she felt was calm. Peace. She’d surprised herself in that regard. She’d expected nerves, expected anxiousness, but she didn’t feel either. She simply felt calm. Her fingers moved up toward the tulle settled neatly in her hair, then ran down the fabric of what had once been her grandmother’s veil. Her something borrowed. She thought of her grandmother then, of the relationship between her and her grandfather, one that had lasted almost sixty years before they’d left this life together, just months apart and still madly in love. The kind of love she’d hoped for as she watched them as a child, then as a teen, then as an adult. The same kind of love she felt she’d found when she met him. Her eyes closed, thinking back to the day she’d first laid eyes on him.

The excited little voices of the children filing back into her classroom brought a small smile to Leah’s face in an instant. Kindergarten had just finished art, and as she watched them come in and sit back at their tables, she silently thanked Mrs. Claskey for the lack of paint on their clothes and hands. There’d been a small (according to Mrs. Claskey, not so much to Leah) incident last week at the very end of art class that had somehow ended in Jack Ledger’s entire right arm and half of his shirt covered in brown paint. Of course the 5th graders had already been lined up at the door waiting to come in, so Mrs. Claskey hadn’t had time to clean him up. That’d been a fun afternoon at the sink for Jack and Leah. Once all of the children were seated, Leah stood from her rocking chair at the front of the room and raised her hand. Her students followed suit, having been conditioned to quiet down and raise their own hands when she did so. Their hands lowered as she began to speak.

“Alright, my friends. I know we’re excited, today’s a special day for us. We have new friends coming to spend time with us this week! Do we remember who they are?” As soon as she finished, little hands all over the room shot back up. Leah looked around, pointing to the tiny blonde in the far too large and, Leah suspected second hand, Avalanche jersey dead center. “Emory, who are they?” “The Colorado Avalanche, Ms. Brewer! They play hockey here, at the Pepsi Center! My dad says some day they’ll win the… the um…” “The Stanley Cup?” Leah supplied. That and what information Emory had spoken aloud was about all she knew of them as well, not really following the sport herself. “Yes!” Emory continued, “The Stanley Cup!” Leah nodded and clasped her hands together. “Good job Emory that’s right! Some of the players from the Avalanche are coming to meet us this afternoon. They’re just as excited to meet you as you are to meet them. But before we can do that, we need to talk about the rules for when we have guests in our classroom.” A small groan sounded throughout the room and Leah giggled under her breath. “Okay, okay. I know talking about our rules isn’t always fun, but we want to show them how kind and polite we can be, right?” Twenty-two heads nodded, so she continued. “Good! Okay, who can tell me our rules then? Thomas?” Her gaze fixed on the quiet boy in the back corner, smiling slightly at him as he straightened up in his chair. Leah had been subtly attempting to bring Thomas out of his shell throughout his time in her class. As she remembered his silence and lack of eye contact at the beginning of the year, she felt nothing but pride for how far he’d come. “We don’t leave our spot at the carpet unless you or our guest says that we can. We sit criss cross applesauce and don’t touch our friends while we’re listening. When we want to talk or as a question, we raise our hands until someone calls on us. And we always show kindness to our friends, our visitors and our teachers.” Leah felt a swell of pride at the last bit. She had a great group of kids this year, and though she knew she shouldn’t play favorites, if she’d had a list this class would be up at the top for years to come. Teaching at a school in a low income area of Denver wasn’t what she’d expected herself to do after graduation, but she adored it all the same, and the children she’d taught were all incredibly special to her.

“Good, Thomas! But there’s one more rule we forgot, the most important rule. I know we remember, so how about let’s all say it together?” “Have fun!” “Yes! Have fun! I don’t think it’ll be hard with these new friends.” She glanced up at the clock then that read one o’clock on the dot. “Okay friends, time to make our way to the carpet! Please find your spot in our circle.” As her students got up and made their way to their seats in front of the rocking chair, she heard multiple people enter her room and all twenty-three heads, including her own, turned toward the intruders. Leah studied them for a moment as they made their way through the desks toward the group. There were two of them, both in blue and burgundy jerseys graced with the numbers 29 and 92 and an A and a C, respectively. Excited gasps and whispers filled the front of the room. The first to reach them was 92, and probably the most conventionally attractive man Leah had ever seen in person. His perfectly straight, shining white teeth were on full display, a wide grin stretch prominently across his face. His attention was focused solely on the children, so Leah looked past him and settled her eyes on the other, 29. She was surprised to find his attention fixed on her. She was also surprised at the butterflies that filled her stomach when her eyes met his. The bright blue staring back at her was like a shock to her system. She felt herself blush and quickly averted her gaze down to the jeans, white tank top and baggy yellow cardigan she’d pulled from her closet that morning. ‘Probably would have been a good day to dress it up a bit, Leah.’ She quickly shook herself from her thoughts and smiled at 92, still unable to meet the eyes of 29. “Hi there! I’m Ms. Brewer. We’ve all really been looking forward to this, I know they have especially.” Leah gestured to her excited students, some of the visibly trying to stop themselves from squirming in their places. He smiled at her and took her outstretched hand, shaking it and then setting his sights back to the children. “Hi everybody, we’ve been really excited to meet you! I’m Gabe, and this is Nate.” He gestured behind him to number 29. Nate. The name bounced around her head like a stray pinball. Nathan Mackinnon. She remembered seeing his face plastered over billboards downtown, along with that of who she now remembered 92 to be, captain Gabriel Landeskog. The two large hockey players sat in the admittedly too small chairs in front of the group, and Leah quietly made her way to the corner of the room, plopping in her desk chair to watch the interaction between Gabe, Nate and her students. As they excitedly asked and answered questions and talked about school, hockey and life in general (as much as five and six year old children could), Leah found herself unable to look away from Nate. He wasn’t handsome in the way that Gabe was. His nose and teeth were slightly crooked, and his jaw a bit more squared, but she found him incredibly attractive all the same. He smiled brightly at the group of children in front of him and enthusiastically spoke with them, his laugh speeding up the butterflies she still felt. She again found herself shaking her from her own thoughts, looking down at the papers on her desk. Leah hadn’t dated anyone seriously since her disastrous relationship with Scott had ended just before her college graduation. They had met in high school and began dating junior year, when they were both far too young and impulsive to have actually found the kind of love that was meant to last. They were two different people from the start, Scott preferring to get plastered at a large house party, Leah preferring to spend her Friday night on the couch under a blanket watching bad television. They had somehow lasted through their first three and a half years of college together, though they spent large chunks of it arguing or in silence, before Leah had discovered that the last seven months of their relationship he’d spent in bed with a blonde he’d met in one of his classes. She’d been devastated, but deep down she’d known he wasn’t the man she was meant to marry. Following graduation, she’d packed her things, picked up and moved to Denver for a fresh start, and hadn’t looked back since. She blamed her lack of dating for her current thoughts about Nate. She’d been so lost in her thoughts that she was surprised when she heard one of her students saying her name, immediately turning her attention back to the carpet ready to answer, though she found Millie still speaking to Gabe and Nate. “-she’s the best! She’s so much fun, even when she’s making us do our counting worksheets. Ooh, she lets us sing our weather song every morning, that’s my favorite part of the day.” Millie turned towards Leah and spoke directly to her, “Ms. Brewer, can you sing the song for them! It’s so much fun, they’ll love it.” Leah blushed slightly but chuckled as all twenty-two excited smiles and two curious pairs of eyes turned towards her. “Why don’t we all sing it together? Show them how great we are at it.” Leah led the excited group through their morning weather song about the rain, the snow, the wind and the sunshine and as they finished (loudly) she once again looked at the two blonde men and found Gabe smiling widely at the class while Nate looked at her with a small smile of his own. Her face warmed yet again as they all began clapping and laughing at her as she grinned and took a small bow in her chair. Conversation between Gabe and her students continued, but for a long moment Nate’s gaze remained fixed on her. She looked down at the papers on her desk again, trying not to read too much into his glances that were frequently aimed at her. All too quickly the two men stood from the chairs and bid goodbye to the students and after a collective “aww” and a round of high fives, left the room to meet the fifth graders waiting for them in the gym. As Leah focused on getting her students back to their seats at their tables, she didn’t notice Nate casting one last look through the door as they left, his eyes only set on her. By three o’clock all of her students were gone and Leah made her way around the room, cleaning up leftover trash and wiping the crumbs from their end of day snack from the tables. She jumped as she heard the deep voice coming from just outside her door. “Hi, did you need some help?” Her head snapped towards the voice and her eyes again met the bright blue that hadn’t left her mind for the rest of the afternoon. The small smile she’d gotten before was present on Nate’s face as he watched her drop the wad of colored paper in her hands into the trash. “Oh no thank you, I’ll be okay here.” She silently willed the butterflies dancing around her stomach and the blush painting her cheeks to go away as he stepped further into the classroom and waved her off, starting to push the chairs into the tables as he spoke again. “It’s no problem, it’ll go faster if we work together. Besides, Gabe’s somewhere shooting extra footage with our media team and this’ll get me out of that.” They both chuckled at that and she nodded, keeping her eyes averted as she helped push in the chairs. “I’m Nathan. Mackinnon. Nathan Mackinnon. But, um, everybody just sort of calls me Nate.” “Nice to meet you, Nate. I’m Leah, Leah Brewer.” She knew there were nerves in her voice, but she didn’t know if she’d imagined the hint of them in his. They worked in silence for a few minutes before he spoke again. “So, Leah, are you from Denver?” She shook her head. “No, I grew up in Murraysville. It’s in Pennsylvania, just outside of Pittsburgh.” He lit up a bit, turning towards her fully. “One of my best friends lives there, plays for the Penguins. Sidney’s his name, Sidney Crosby.” She shot him a playfully unimpressed glance as she stopped pushing in the chair. “Now Nate. I may not know much about hockey, but I can assure you, even I know who Sidney Crosby is.” She laughed quietly at the blush that tinted his cheeks and he chuckled along with her, shaking his head. “Yeah that was stupid, sorry.” They kept on cleaning up the last of the classroom until he plopped into the last chair. “So, what brought you to Denver all the way from the East Coast?”
 Leah figured that since he’d sat down, he wasn’t planning on leaving right away, so she made her way to her rocking chair. She thought for a moment before she answered. It wasn’t like she could come right out and tell him Scott had emotionally destroyed her, so she settled for the cliche, generic answer she gave most people when they asked her. “I graduated from college and just… needed a fresh start.” He nodded slightly, but by the look he gave her, she knew he was curious for more. He didn’t press her, and the small talk moved onto other things, her job, then his job and then their families and friends. The conversation flowed so easily between them. By the time she realized almost forty-five minutes had passed, they were laughing and sharing stories as if they’d known each other for years, not hours. “Oh, it’s almost four o’clock, you should probably get back to Gabe and the rest of your team.” He sighed as they both looked at the clock, like he knew she was right but also like he didn’t want to leave. “You’re right. It was really nice meeting you though.” He stood from the chair as she returned the sentiment and turned to leave the room. He’d made it almost fully out the door before he stopped and turned around asking her one last question. “Listen, I don’t… this might be a little forward, I- would you maybe want to go out to dinner sometime? With me? Like, as a date?” She stared at him in surprise for a moment and then thought about her answer. Sure, she hadn’t really dated much since Scott, but it had been three years and thousands of miles since then. And there was something about Nate that intrigued her, something that had caused the butterflies to erupt the minute they’d made eye contact. Something that made her answer fairly easy. “Sure, Nate, I’d really like that.” The memory flooded away as she opened her eyes and looked back into the mirror. One dinner date had led to another, which had led to a few more, then spending the night at her place and then his. She’d met Cox then, which she was glad had gone well because, as Nate had told her later, he couldn’t date somebody Cox didn’t like. That had led to her meeting his teammates and their significant others, and him meeting her friends. That summer when his season and her semester had ended, they traveled to Murraysville where he met her family, and Nova Scotia where she met his. Before they knew it a little over a year had flown by and they’d bought their first house together. She chuckled at that memory, instantly thinking back to the mess of hockey players that had filled their home the day they moved in. “Josty come on, man! The box says fragile!” Leah giggled from her place in the kitchen at the sound of JT’s voice echoing down the hallway, and then at Nate’s voice, floating in from his spot in their living room. “Don’t break any more of my shit, Josty, you know I still haven’t forgiven you and Z for the broken lamp from the Christmas party.” Mel snorted across the counter, Jackie shaking her head as Leah placed the last of the bowls in the cabinet. “They’re a fucking mess, the whole group of them.” Jackie and Mel laughed and nodded in agreement before moving to start on loading the cutlery into the drawers. Leah made her way from the kitchen into the living room, passing by Gabe, EJ and Naz walking to the front door to pull more of the heavier pieces of furniture from the truck. “Thank you guys again for helping us with all of this. No way Nate could have done all the heavy lifting himself the softie.” She smirked at the indignant ‘hey!’ that came from their sofa and the boys chuckled before assuring her again it was no problem and heading for the door, EJ jostling her on his way. She rolled her eyes but smiled at the toothless grin she got in return, passing them to plop down next to her boyfriend, leaning heavily into his side and closing her eyes with a yawn as he lightly kissed her forehead. “Tired, baby?” “Mhm.” As she opened her eyes again, she finally took the chance to look around their living room, the large bay windows bathing the room in sunlight. Boxes were scattered around, the television still waiting to be mounted above the fireplace and the shelves empty, save for one photo. Her eyes landed on it and she smiled fondly, one of her favorites of the two of them. It was taken in Cole Harbour on one of their last trips. They sat together on the boat, her leaning against his side with his arms wrapped around her, much like they were now. They’d gone for a sunset cruise with Sid and Kathy and Tyson and Emma who had also come back up north, just chatting and enjoying the company when Kathy told them to pose, that the sunset created the perfect backdrop behind them. As they leaned into each other and smiled at the camera, Tyson said something from just beside Kathy that had drawn her attention as Kathy snapped the photo. She’s laughing in his direction in the photo, still leaning against Nate who’s smile is directed only at her. The love between the two of them is obvious, which is exactly why it’s one of her favorites. Leah is drawn from the memory captured in the photo when she feels Nate’s lips on the top of her head again and the smile on her face grows even wider. She listens to the sounds of a pot clattering to the floor in the kitchen followed by Jackie’s voice scolding EJ and Gabe and Mel laughing, Josty, JT and Burky pushing each other around in the hallway and Nate’s slow, even breathing right beside her on the couch. As her eyes closed once more, she couldn’t remember if she’d ever in her life felt as happy as she did in that moment. Nate’s fingers ran through her hair and she pulled slightly out of his embrace, taking a moment to silently study the man she’d so quickly found herself falling madly in love with. “What’s on your mind?” he asks her, and she finds herself overwhelmed with emotion as she tries to put her thoughts into words. “I love our friends. I love our new house, but I love even more that we get to make it a home. I love this life that I get to build with you. I love you Nate.” The silent exchange that directly followed was just as meaningful, if not more so, than the words she’d just spoken. She could feel it. He’d felt it too. “I love you, too.” He hadn’t said much, but what he had said had told her everything she needed to know. She’s yanked quickly from that memory as the door to the bridal suite opens. Linnea flounced into the room in her white tulle dress, looking every bit the little princess they all considered her to be. Mel shuffled in behind her before the door is closed again. The soft pink of her dress perfectly complimented her blonde hair and pale skin, amplifying her beauty even further. Mel and Gabe were two of the best things to come from her relationship with Nate, quickly becoming some of her very best friends. Through every hardship or struggle she’d faced during her relationship with Nate he’d been right there beside her, but the Landeskogs had been right there on her other side. She still feels a jolt of happiness when she remembers finding out about Linnea for the first time, and the first time she got to hold her. She couldn’t keep the smile off her face as they entered the room, fiddling with the small diamond bracelet Mel had given to her as a gift the night before from both her and Gabe, her something new. Mel snorted, joking “What, already thinking about the honeymoon?” Of course she hadn’t been before, but she started to now, and she quickly tried to ignore the tingle she felt between her legs at the next memory, one from just a few weeks ago.     “Oh fuck, yes.” Leah’s eyes were shut tightly, mouth wide open, one of Nate’s arms thrown across her lower stomach to keep her from squirming as his tongue slowly circled her clit. She was panting, hard, one of her hands wound tightly in his blonde hair while the other held onto their headboard. She’d already come once on his fingers, but he hadn’t shown any signs of slowing down. He groaned as he pulled away slightly, his mouth and chin covered in her wetness and let his eyes roam back up her body, flushed, until they met hers. “Fucking love your pussy, baby.” He dove back into her cunt then like it was a five-course meal as she tightened her grip on him and moaned loudly, her body thrashing and hurtling toward her second climax. She’d found out early on in their relationship that in contrast to how soft he was with her normally, in bed Nate was filthy. And she fucking loved it. They both shared a high sex drive, and when they first started dating, they’d gone at it like rabbits. In the morning in the shower before she left for work, on their couch when he’d gotten home from a game, one particularly exciting afternoon when he’d come home after practice and laid her out on his kitchen table. They constantly got each other off over FaceTime or Skype when he was on the road, and on their first bye week together they spent almost the entire five days of their trip fucking on every surface of the villa they’d rented. She’d been sore for almost a week. And after almost four years of dating, it hadn’t really slowed down at all. When Nate moved his tongue from inside her back to her clit, flattening it and shaking his head from side to side, she felt her orgasm crash over her. “Fuuuuck yes!” Her back arched sharply off the bed as she rode out the waves of her high, Nate continuing to lick and suck at her through it. As she worked to catch her breath, he kissed his way back up her body, biting down softly on her neck when he reached her sweet spot. “So sexy when you cum. Think you can give me one more, baby?” Though she was exhausted from the first two orgasms he’d given her, she still nodded enthusiastically and let her hand snake down his body, taking him in her hand and guiding him toward her center. She let out a sigh which turned into a quiet moan as he entered her. Of all the men she’d been with, which though admittedly wasn’t many, Nate was the biggest. His length was average, but he was thick, spreading her open and filling her better than any man ever had before. Their mouths met as he started to move inside of her, swallowing the noises she made. She knew it wouldn’t take much for either of them, her already sensitive from her first two highs and him keyed up from the reactions he’d gotten while giving them to her. As his thrusts picked up in both pace and in power, their kisses turned more into breathing and moaning into each other’s mouths before he moved back down to her neck then down further, taking one of her nipples into his mouth and biting before rolling it between his teeth. “Ah, daddy please, I need to come, I need to come.” She whined, rolling her hips up to meet his the best she could. He kept his pace and shook his head slightly. “Wait baby, wait for daddy. I’ll give you what you need, be patient.” He stopped for a moment and took her ankles into his hands, placing them up over his shoulders and she cried out as he began thrusting against her harder and faster, hitting a spot deeper in her than before. Her breathing went ragged and she struggled to get out anything but whines, which quickly turned into yells, then sobs. “Please daddy! Please, I’m gonna, I can’t- I need to cum!” she clawed at his back, her head lolling back against the pillows as she felt his hips begin to move more frantically and uncontrolled. “Yeah baby, fucking cum for me. Show daddy who makes you feel like this, who’s pussy this is.” She shrieked and seconds later felt her fluids gush around him, pulling a loud groan from him as he followed her over the edge. “Fuuuuuck yeah baby, your pussy feels so good when you cum around me. Fucking angel.” He grunted, filling her with his seed. They’d stopped using condoms six months in and he maintains it was one of the best decisions they’d made. She couldn’t help but agree with him as she felt his warmth pulsing inside of her.   When they’d both given each other everything they had, he dropped down gently over her and wrapped his arms around her, holding her as she trembled through the aftershocks of her third high of the night. Soft kisses were planted across her neck and jaw and she lightly combed her fingers through the sweaty mess of blonde on the nape of his neck. These were some of her favorite moments with Nate. Just after a round of great sex when they just laid catching their breaths in the silence, still connected and just basking in the warmth of being together. All she was capable of thinking about in those moments was the man laying over her and how much she loved him. “I love you baby.” He whispered quietly to her as he pulled away from his place at her shoulder, leaving her with a languid, toe curling kiss on her lips and feelings of love for him swirling around her body. It was Mel snorting again that brought her back to reality and she turned toward the other blonde, realizing she’d been biting her lip as she got caught up in the memory. “Jesus, I was kidding. My child is in the room.” Mel smirked and Linnea answered perfectly with a giggle from her spot in the corner, making both women laugh. She turned back toward the mirror to readjust her veil for what felt like the twentieth time since it’d been put in her hair. Mel continued. “Anyways, we just came by to tell you we’ve got about 15 minutes to go time. Maid of honor duties and all.” She winked making both of them laugh again before she swept Linnea into her arms, heading for the door “We’ll leave you alone now, see you in a bit.” As she exited the room, another woman entered. “My baby. Look at you, you look beautiful.” Her mother moved to stand by her side in the mirror, placing a hand gently on her shoulder, eyes filling with tears as they met hers in the mirror. “Your dad would be so proud, sweetheart.” Her own eyes filled with tears this time and as she closed them, she could hear the beeping of the heart monitor and smell the sterile scent of the hospital as clear as day. She couldn’t breathe. The only word to describe her in that moment was numb. Her eyes traced the wires to the white linen blanket, up to the machine that measured the slow heartbeat of the first man she’d ever loved. A face eerily similar to her own, her father had never looked thinner and paler than he did laying there in his hospital gown. ‘Brain aneurysm. Ruptured. Hemorrhagic stroke.’ The words the doctor had spoken to them rested like a weight in her head and in her chest as she stared down at their hands, hers clutching tightly and his limp and unmoving. She couldn’t cry. Not yet. She’d been holding onto hope for days now that he would wake up, that they could talk about how terribly their Steelers were doing and laugh about the clumsiness of her mother. That they could drive home together in his car, singing terribly along to the old Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin tunes he’d brought her up on. That one day he could walk her down the aisle (‘Not until you’re 30!’) and hold his first grandchild. No matter how many times she’d heard the words braindead and pull the plug, she held onto that hope, the same hope she was starting to feel slip between her fingers. The beeping was the only sound in the room aside from her mother’s sniffling and Nate’s steady breathing. Her parents had divorced just before her fourth birthday, but they’d remained great friends and worked together to raise her, something she didn’t realize how grateful she was for until she reached adulthood. It was only fitting that she, Leah and Nate were the three present at his bedside as two of them were what he always called ‘the loves of his life’ and the third one of his ‘favorite people out there’ as he’d called Nate just a few months before. The doctor entered the room again and when Leah met his gaze it was somber. She looked away almost immediately, knowing what was coming as he started speaking to them again. “I’m sorry, we’ve done all that we can, but we believe at this point it’s about a five percent chance he’ll wake, and if he does, we can almost guarantee significant brain damage. It’s in my medical opinion that you may want to consider pulling him off of the life support.” She felt it then, the first tear slip down her cheek where she sat in the chair by her father’s side. She locked eyes with her mother and they both knew what they had to do. This isn’t the way he would have wanted to live, and that’s if he did, and she wasn’t going to put him through any pain and suffering simply because it would make her happy. An hour later, after the three of them had all spoken their goodbyes and spent their last minutes with him, the machines were turned off. The beeping stopped, her father’s hand, still clutched in her own smaller, softer one went cold. Leah wept. She laid down on the bed beside her father’s body and held him, weeping as the last signs of life left his body. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t get through this. She didn’t want to live a life without her dad’s obnoxiously loud laughter and world famous bear hugs. She didn’t know how she was going to pull herself from the grief crashing over her in waves. Then a warm hand circled her ankle from its place at the foot of the bed, thumb softly smoothing over the skin there. Nate. Her rock, her stability, the calm to help her weather the storm. He’d be right by her side through it, just as he had been in everything else since the day they’d met three years ago. She knew when she felt the letters he was tracing onto her skin. I love you. It was strange but through all of her grief then, she felt the slightest bit of joy, because she also knew that her father had gotten to know and love the man she was going to marry, the love of her life. Her mother quickly pulled a handkerchief from her clutch, chastising both herself and her daughter for ‘ruining her makeup.’ She giggled as she clutched her mother’s hand and then directed a small smile at the pair of sapphire earrings she wore, a gift from her father on her eighteenth birthday and now her something blue. He was there with her, she knew that he was. Quickly wiping at her eyes, she handed the handkerchief back to her mother and went to gather her bouquet from the small table but stopped when her eyes landed on her engagement ring. One that had belonged to Nate’s grandmother, her something old. She floated away into yet another memory, and by far one of the best of her life. The air was crisp and smelled of the first signs of winter as Leah and Nate walked hand in hand down the lakeside pathway through Confluence Park. This was her favorite time of year, filled with memories of pulling out the Christmas decorations far too early with her mother as her father just smirked and shook his head at them. Memories of home games spent with her girls in the family box cheering on the men they loved. Memories of cold mornings spent curled up on the couch with Nate under the blankets, Cox at their feet as they fell in and out of sleep, watching the snowfall through the bay windows. She smiled as Nate gently tugged at Cox’s leash, willing him to slow down as they strolled lazily behind him. “This is my favorite time of year. I know I always complain about how cold it gets, but nothing beats a winter day like this.” Nate brought their joint hands up to his lips to place a kiss and replied, “I know baby. It’s one of my favorite times of year too, just because you love it.” She laughed at the cheesiness of his statement but leaned into his side, looking up at him as they slowed even more. “I love you, you know.” He didn’t reply immediately so she continued walking, only stopping when he did, turning to gaze at him curiously. It was only then that she felt the trembling of his hand still clasped in hers. “Nate? Why are we stopping, are you okay?” Cox whined behind her, probably wondering the same thing. “Yeah baby I’m fine, I just needed to say something and I wanted your full attention when I did.” This intrigued her even further but she didn’t answer, waiting for him to say whatever it is she could see was stewing in there. He stared at her for a moment longer before he started to speak again. “There’s something that I haven’t told you. I spoke to your dad on the phone a few weeks before he died. Spoke to him for quite a while, actually?” Leah was now incredibly confused, so she waited for him to continue. “You know how much I loved and respected him. I don’t know how but in three years he became another father figure to me and I wanted his opinion on something important so I called him to ask.” “What did you ask him?” her interest was thoroughly peaked as Nate’s hand dropped to his pocket, until he pulled out a small velvet box and both hands came to cover her mouth when she realized what was happening. She went completely still, tears already coming to the surface as he took a step closer to her, one of his hands still holding Cox’s leash and the other the box. “I asked him for his blessing.” He looped the leash around his wrist, but Cox was still then, sitting on the pavement at her feet, tail wagging furiously though she knew he had no idea what was occurring. How much her life was about to change. Then Nate took one of her hands from her mouth, her left hand, and held it tightly in his own. “When I was growing up, I watched my parents all the time when they were together, and you could see it in their faces when they looked at each other. It was this pure, real, genuine kind of love that doesn’t scream at you. The kind of love that’s just there, the kind that looks like making each other breakfast or bringing each other the morning paper, the kind that’s sitting on the couch together doing two completely separate things but somehow still being connected, the kind that looks like smiling through raising two children together. I saw other people find it, Mel and Gabe, Erik and Jackie, Sid and Kath. I always wanted that kind of love, but I never believed that I would have it, that I would somehow be lucky enough to find someone that loved me like that or that I could love like that. I think I realized on our third date that even if it wasn’t there yet, I could see that kind of love with you, and then it happened. There isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not thanking whoever’s up there in the sky or wherever they are,” she giggled slightly through her tears at that bit, “that I got lucky enough to fall in love with you. You are everything. You’re kind, you’re witty, you’re intelligent, you’re incredibly beautiful and you’re so loving to everyone around you. But especially me. You’ve loved me through every bad game, through every hotheaded tantrum, through every argument, through every loss and every heartache. It didn’t matter what I was facing, what we were facing, you’ve loved me through all of it and I can only hope to spend the rest of my life giving that love right back to you.” At this point she was ugly crying, clutching his hand so tightly her knuckles were turning white, but he pressed on. “This kind of love, the love we feel for each other is special, once in a lifetime. It doesn’t come around often and my grandma always told me when you find something like it you have to hold on as tightly as you can and never let go. This was hers, actually.” He opened the velvet box then and Leah gasped as she saw the simple round diamond set on a silver band. “After I called your dad to ask for his blessing and he not only told me yes but that he couldn’t be happier not only that his daughter had found someone she loved so much but someone who loved her the way she deserved,” she wept harder at that “I called grandma and told her I had found it, the kind of love she told me to never let go of, and the next time we were in town visiting her she gave me the ring. This ring is from a marriage full of that love and I thought it might be a good luck charm for us, not that we need it.” She laughed loudly at that and he grinned at her, but his smile softened and she found tears to match hers in his eyes as he dropped to one knee. “You’re it for me, baby. My best friend, my soulmate, the love of my life. I’ll never need to wonder again if I’ll ever find this kind of love because hopefully I’ll get to have it with you and the family we’ll build forever. If you say yes, I promise to fall asleep a little more in love with you today, tomorrow and all of our lives. I love you so much. Leah, will you marry me?” She didn’t even need to think, she knew. She’d known for years, just as she was it for him, he was it for her. “Yes. Yes, Nate. I love you. I love you.” He slid the elegant diamond onto her finger and his lips were immediately on hers, kissing her through their laughter and through their tears, over and over again. If you’d ask her, there weren’t words she could put together to describe the love she felt for him in that moment. Everything, every moment and memory that lead them to this place was worth it for the reward of getting to call him her husband for the rest of her life. They spent what felt like hours but could only have been minutes kissing and laughing in that park, elated at the idea of spending their lives together. As they finally pulled away from each other Nate excitedly pulled her left hand forward, flashing it at their dog proudly, making her laugh once again. “Cox, she said yes! Mom and I are getting married.” The knock on the door shook her from her happiest memory, Gabe standing proudly in it’s frame offering her his arm. When she’d thought about who would walk her down the aisle that day, though they’d never fill the void left in her father’s absence, Gabe was the only choice. The older brother she’d never had but had found in him. “Ready to be Mrs. Mackinnon, kid?” The nerves still didn’t come, the calm and the peace remaining. She grabbed the bouquet and crossed the room to take his arm. “Never been more ready in my life.” (+ bonus:) Their bedroom was still save for her husband’s soft snores and the hum of the ceiling fan. The clock on the bedside table next to her that was illuminated by the soft glow coming from her reading lamp read 3:53 am, but she didn’t feel the sleep gripping her like she probably should. She took the quiet moment to glance at the man sleeping soundly beside her, the man she’d called her husband for the last two years but her best friend for far longer. He was the man of her dreams and though they’d faced challenges, she wouldn’t have wanted to face them with anyone else. She scanned quickly back through all the memories she had of their relationship and smiled when they brought back the feelings of intense love between them. And as she looked down at the tiny baby nestled softly in her arms, his eyes an identical blue to his father’s, she remembered the words he’d said the day he proposed. “I promise to fall asleep a little more in love with you today, tomorrow and all of our lives.”

#n. mackinnon #nathan mackinnon #nathan mackinnon imagine #nathan mackinnon fanfic #hockey imagine #hockey fanfic #nhl imagine #nhl fanfic #nhl writing #hockey writing #hockey smut #nhl smut #colorado avalanche imagine #colorado avalanche fanfic #my writing

[harrypotterandthefandomaccount]

In Your Arms

request:  Hello! I’ve been on your blog for a while and I really adore it, you’re an amazing writer, dearie! ❤️ I have a strange request, like really strange. A year ago I had a stillborn baby boy, and it’s still quite bad with pain. I was depressed, and beyond suicidal. As my journey to heal,  seeing fictional characters go through struggles that I faced make it better. I understand completely if you’d rather not. But perhaps a single reader, Harry’s younger sister when they’re adults of course. Maybe she used a donor, and in her pregnancy at six months she has a stillbirth after buying everything, and getting herself excited. Mainly, showing her struggles and everyone attempting to make her feel better. Perhaps, even a sweet moment of her baby in ‘wizard’ heaven with Sirius, Remus, and her parents. Taking care of him, and eventually the reader is reassured someone is taking care of her baby. Something every mother wishes for when it happens❤️ thank you so much, I send my best regards and love💓💕

warnings: depression, post-partum, stillborn death, anxiety, character death, sad death, suicidal thoughts

note: i really hope i did okay with this. i read this article to get more information about stillborns and the impact it has on mothers and their families. to the requester, i really hope i did okay with this. you are loved.

-

nothing, no feeling, but pain.

you knew something was not right when you started feeling deep pressure on your stomach only five months into your pregnancy. something was off, and as much as you wanted to ignore it, you had to go to St. Mungo’s.

by Merlin, you wish you ignored it.

the doctors scrambled, trying to find a way to rid your body of the contractions, to delay your baby’s delivery but there was nothing they could do. you could feel the tears and sweat running down your face as your twin, harry, gripped your hand, telling you everything would be okay.

you just wanted to hold your son.

harry told you it would all be okay, molly wiping the sweat from your forehead as she whispered encouraging words to you. you cried, not wanting to push as you knew what would happen to your son - you weren’t ready to let go yet.

as the doctors instructed, you pushed and pushed until the doctors told you to stop - your boy had entered the world. molly took him from the doctors, swaddling him in blue cloths and walked over to you, giving you a small smile.

you were tired. everything felt like jelly, but as you saw molly carrying your son, you sat up, ready to hold him. as he was passed into your arms, you smiled and cried.

“what’s wrong, dear?” molly asked, wiping back your damp hair.

you shook your head, “he’s beautiful. he is absolutely breathtaking.”

harry leaned over your side, looking at his nephew, “looks just like his mom.” he smiled, kissing your head as he smoothed your hair. over your head, he looked t molly, wondering what was going to happen.

a doctor stood at the side of your bed as you looked up, “what is going to happen to him?”

she gave a sad smile, “his organs will slowly start to shut down until he stops breathing, but he won’t be in pain. he’ll be okay.”

you looked back at your son, a bright smile on your face as your thumb grazed his cheek, “my beautiful boy. . .”

your bottom lip quivered, “can - can he be a donor?” you heard your son’s breathing, focusing on the rise and fall of his tiny chest and belly.

the doctor nodded, “yes, he can, but it is your decision, ms. potter.”

you swallowed, “can i spend more time with him, please?”

she nodded, “of course.”

molly held your hand under your son, sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, “have you thought of a name, darling?”

you nodded, your lip quivering, “fred.”

molly hummed, kissing your forehead. harry kneeled beside you, “beautiful name.” molly paused, “what do you need?”

“i just, um,” you swallowed a lump in your throat, “can i spend time with him? alone? i’m so-”

harry stood, “don’t apologize. . .we’ll be outside. i love you.”

you gave a sad smile, “i love you, too.” molly left right behind harry, giving you one last glance before leaving.

you knew they were telling everyone about what was happening, your son’s name, the difficult decision you had to make. but it didn’t matter. you were here, with fred, and he was the most beautiful baby you have ever seen in your entire life.

“oh, my sweet darling,” you started, “you have so - so many people waiting for you up there. your grandpa james, grandma lily, uncle sirius, uncle remus, uncle fred - whom you’re named after. they are going to take such good care of you, sweetheart.”

tears began to fall down your cheeks, your breath quickening as you realized he would not make it. you swallowed, “and, you’re going to be a savior, just like uncle harry. you. . .you are so loved, my darling. and,” you grazed his cheek again, “and i am going to miss you so much. you have a special place in my heart, you know that?”

his breathing then became wheezes, and somehow, the doctor knew, carefully walking in and closing the door with multiple nurses and a NICU cart behind them.

“i have to let him go, don’t i?” you asked, memorizing your son’s facial features.

molly opened the door, heading over to your side in a rush, “nobody is forcing you to do anything, darling. you take as much time as you need -”

“but if you wish for your son to be a donor, then yes. i am sorry, ms. potter.”

you leaned in, kissing fred on the forehead before whispering, “i am - i am going to miss you terribly, my love. don’t get in too much trouble.”

the doctor walked over to your bedside, watching your emotions carefully before you turned to her, “please take care of him. i don’t want him in any pain.”

she nodded to you, her red hair bouncing, “of course, ms. potter. your son will be in good care. he’ll be okay.”

with gentle hands, you carefully handed your son over to the doctor, who then put him inside the NICU cart, leaving quickly to preserve his organs. you covered your mouth, ugly sobs escaping you as molly pulled you close.

“i miss him!” you cried, snot and tears running down your face as the others waited outside, holding hands and wiping their own tears.

all you wanted was a baby, your own little baby - with a significant other or by donor - that was all you wanted. but now, it had been taken from you, ripped from your grasp. how were you supposed to live with yourself? how were you supposed to go home and look into the nursery without falling to your knees? how were you supposed to survive?

-

the shades hid the light of the sun entering your room. it was. . .nice, hiding from the world and laying within your plethora of covers. there was warmth, but also cold. you didn’t have a pregnant belly anymore, nor did you have any cravings or odd mood swings.

you wanted to hold fred again. you ached to kiss his cold, little cheeks again, or to smell him once more. you wish you had more time.

you had turned into a cocoon, refusing to leave your safe space unless necessary. no visitors were allowed, but you’d let people know you were breathing - not okay, but alive.

you felt like you failed.

you had done everything right. how did you lose him? what did you do wrong?

everyone had told you that it wasn’t your fault - but why did it feel like it was?

harry knocked on your door every single day. he still has yet to skip a day, but it has only been a week, so who knows. ginny stands beside him, telling you that you are strong, that you’ll get through this.

you scoffed every time.

molly drops off food every day, whether it be some cookies or a whole lasagna. she stands at the door and tells you how her day went, and you knew she was wiping her own tears. she’d stand there for about an hour and once you knew she left, you’d go and grab the food, putting it in the fridge until you had the stomach to eat.

ron and hermione came by twice, shoving cards and your mail under the door, telling you how much they miss you and your smile. you wanted to go out and laugh with them about old times, but you just couldn’t.

then his ashes came.

you remember being so excited when you first found out you were pregnant, rushing to buy all the supplies you needed as your girlfriends took the stress off you, buying the items for you instead.

you remember painting the room with george, harry, and ron. well, they painted and you ate pizza, giving tips as they got each other covered in the baby blue hue.

you remember finding out the sex of the baby, holding harry’s hand as the nurse told you it was a boy. that was when you knew his name was going to be fred, and harry admired you for it, calling you an adirmable sister.

however, you also remembered when you first got home, shuffling over to the couch and wrapping a blanket around yourself. you remember how your breasts ached, producing milk when there was nobody to produce it for. how the bleeding felt as if it went on for ages.

at first, you felt numb at the sight of the urn, but in a good way. he was here, finally, in his home. maybe not in the way you expected, but he was home. fred was home. you placed him on your dresser, perfect line of sight for you to see him. just to make sure your baby was okay.

standing up, you shook your legs and hobbled over to the shower, turning it on and stepping in immediately. the heat felt good, washing away the dirt and grime that had formed over the past week. then, brushing your teeth felt good, felt productive.

then, you called molly, asking if you could come over for dinner, and if harry and ginny, ron and hermione, could come, too.

she cried once she hung up, her answer being a choked, “of course, darling.”

it wasn’t what you planned, but it is what happened. you came to terms with that as you looked off into the field from the burrow. you miss fred terribly, but you knew he was okay. it was odd - sometimes, you’d hear a baby’s laugh and you’d see someone who was the spitting image of remus or sirius, lifting a baby in the air and seeing their smile light up the world. you saw those as signs - signs that fred was being taken care of.

and you were okay with him not being in your arms.

#x reader #reader insert #x reader insert #molly weasley #harry potter #harry potter x reader #harry potter sister #harry potter twin #ginny weasley #hermione granger #ron weasley #fred weasley #george weasley #molly weasley being a mom #y/n #x you #y/n insert #you insert #depression #baby #babies #hospitals #postpartum #stillborn #stillborn baby #sad death #character death #pregnant #pregnant reader #loss

[mypersonmyg]

don’t sweat it | myg

pairing: yoongi x reader

genre: fluff, tiny bit of angst ig??, established relationship

rating: pg15

wc: 1.2k

warnings: some suggestive language, unedited :p

summary: your friends don’t think you spend enough time with them OR yoongi thinks you’re a distraction

a/n: yesterday you got misery chick and today it’s reliably listeless!! i kinds wrote this a while back but never posted it for some reason, so yeah. again,,,you don’t have to read the full fic to get it, but just know it’s in that universe

[drabble masterlist]

[reliably listless]

The fresh breeze gently glides the skin of your exposed arm, the scent of flowers in bloom wafting against your nostrils with imaginings of the petals colorful and swaying in the wind. You inhale with pleasure, nearly gagging when you’re brought from the reverie of the gym door half agape, reminded that you’re not in fact enjoying the beautiful weather of early summer but instead sitting inside watching your boyfriend play a game of pickup. The scent that greeted your inhale was not fresh flowers but the stench clinging to practice jerseys gone too long without a wash. 

You remind yourself to steal Yoongi’s from his bag while he’s showering, well aware that the stinging smell of weeks of buildup doesn’t bother him as much as it assails you and your sensitive senses. 

You draw back to the motion of the court, hands tapping at the caps of your knees not altogether following the score you were meant to be keeping but distracted by the sheen of sweat sticking Yoongi’s overgrown hair to the nape of his neck and the plains of his forehead. Your wrist itches with the neon hair tie that grips the skin, Yoongi’s nimble fingers snatching it from your hands when he caught wind of your intent to sprout his strands before he stepped onto the court. 

“You let me do it last night!” Was your baseless argument, the poke of your lips useless to sway him save for the short peck bestowed as a precursor to words that curled your toes. 

“You were the one that insisted you needed something to hold onto.” 

The words have been playing on your mind since he jogged away, immediately taken with the court, your way only graced with glances often enough to keep you on edge. You barely noticed the placement of a body to one side of you and your ears had graciously tuned out the senseless gossip falling from Seulgi’s lips from the moment her body hit the bleachers. 

“—and Hobi said he agrees you don’t spend enough time with us anymore.” This catches your attention, the smirk aimed in your direction cluing you on the knowledge that your overt ogling would not go unnoticed by the only other person not banking (or bricking) shots. 

“I spend plenty of time with you guys, Hoseok!”  

“Hobi did not say that!” His attention is drawn from where he stands at half-court, jogging his way to your seat with little to no attention being paid to the game at hand. “Seulgi said that she feels like she hasn’t seen you in years and she might throw Yoongi into a ditch soon if he doesn’t back off.” 

“Okay, well first I think you should both relax.” You mutter, eyes falling on your two friends, glaring childishly, Hoseok’s lips pulled into half sneer at being dragged in by no accord of his own. “Second, I’m sorry if I’ve been a little preoccupied but—”

“Hobi!” Jeongguk’s voice draws Hoseok’s attention with enough time for him, and you, to flinch when the ball appears to be hurtling toward the bleachers and too far over any of your heads for a hope to clutch the round menace before is bounces fiercely on the row of bleachers just a few steps higher. 

“Who was going to catch that?!” 

“You, if you were paying attention instead of talking to your girlfriends,” Jeongguk mutters, eyes rolling and hands thrown into the air with palpable annoyance. 

“Girlfriend.” Yoongi mumbles the correction, jogging over to the bleachers, ignoring the gape of betrayal Hoseok aims his way. You hop from your seat and scale the few benches to grab hold of the ball just seconds before Yoongi grabs hold of you, his chin resting against your shoulder. “I’m gonna have to stop inviting you to watch me play.” 

“Wha—I did nothing wrong!” 

“You’re distracting our players…” He hums, hands traveling the length of your arms so soft under his touch, the scent of your body somehow fighting through the stench of the humid gym. “—distracting me.”

“I’m just watching you play.” You hug the ball to your chest, aware of the heat radiating from Yoongi onto you, the sweat that coats his neck now pressed against your own. You would be lying if you said the thick moisture and panted breaths didn’t awaken you just the slightest bit, but you’re determined to prove your point. 

“Watching me play, right. So what’s the score then?” 

He’s got you and you both know it. Rather than submit to the corner pressing to your back and give Yoongi the satisfaction that seems to come naturally, you pull yourself from his hold and push the ball into his chest. 

“Ya know, I think that we—” You step past him, your attention falling on Seulgi who had taken to rummaging through your bag for the snacks that are always meticulously placed in the many pockets throughout. “—are going to go.”

“We are?” Seulgi seems less enthusiastic about spending time with you than she had just moments ago, her mouth filled with the pack of m&ms she scrounged. You wonder how she managed to acquire them still intact, the vivid memory of too long standing in the sun followed by the less than graceful squash of your bag under Jeongguk’s ass earlier in the day concerning to say the least. “But I just found a snack.”

“Well, we can go get a snack if you just…hey! Are you even listening to me?!” You don’t need her to respond when your neck cranes to encapsulate the landscape that has her attention tied and mouth hanging open, half chewed candy all but forgotten between her lips. 

Her sudden eagerness to participate in the remainder of whatever game is left to play is clear in the painting of perfection, shirts flying overhead to combat the sweat soaking tan skin. An ad too picture perfect for any moving picture and too annoying for your wandering eyes to properly enjoy, though the flattening of Yoongi’s half smirk is not forgotten in your periphery.

You snort, the irony of the situation not lost on you as you sling your bag over your shoulder. 

“Come on, I’m kidding.” Yoongi tosses the ball to Jeongguk, tugging you into him once more, his lips pressing to your cheeks despite the impatient mutterings from the court. “I love it when you distract me.” 

“Oh no,” You whirl on him, his lips spread in a goofy grin, unbothered yet entertained by your sudden attitude. “You do not get to do that!” 

“Do what?” 

“Be all cute boyfriend and expect me to just...forgive you.” 

“But I am sorry, what am I supposed to do without my number one cheerleader?” He pouts, eyes reflecting in pale fluorescents. 

“Lucky you, Namjoon is still here so you don’t have to worry about it. Come on!” Your arm hooks the crook of Seulgi’s, tongue shooting in Yoongi’s direction where he stands with his hands perched on his hips.

“Where exactly are you going?” 

“I was thinking that I’d go distract someone else!” The words are spoken loud enough for Yoongi to hear, but your eyes are too zeroed on the exit to note the disappointed look that befalls his features before he rushes back to the court. 

#yoongi x reader #myg x reader #bts scenarios #bts drabble #reliably listless #min yoongi x reader #yoongi drabble #yoongi fanfic #bts fanfction #yoongi scenario #min yoongi drabble #bangtan university #suganetwork #houseofddaeng #bangtanidx