#then again all of these chapters are really short so i should’ve gotten more done than this… ughhhhhhhh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

midnight-dreamerness · 3 years

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Savior

Chapter 2: Finding Strength

(This is NOT my gif. Credit to the creator <3)

series summary: when your protector returns, he finds you broken and abused and helps you climb out of the darkness

chapter summary: you finally have had enough and you find the strength to escape

pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

warning: mentions of death, acts.mentions of abuse, mentions of self harm

word count: 2.1k

Quitting the job you love was really hard. After your brother died you got back together with Kade after a short break in the relationship, you moved in with him. You didn’t have the best relationship with your parents, and it only got worse when Danny, your brother, died while overseas.

You walked into the apartment, your head bowed trying to hide the tears threatened to spill down your cheeks. He’s already home, you saw his car in his usual spot in the parking garage when you pulled in. You could also make out the sound of the tv playing in the living room.

You headed towards the bedroom until he called your name, making you turn and slowly make your way into the living room.

“Did you do it?”

There are empty beer bottles everywhere along with a half empty bottle of whiskey sitting on the coffee table. You sighed but nodded nonetheless, playing with the hem of your blouse.

“Good. Start cleaning. This place is a mess.”

And you did what he said, all day. He made you scrub the floor down with a scrubbing brush. You had to clean every inch of the apartment, while picking up the trash he left behind him all day. When night came, you had officially cleaned everything and cooked him dinner. You sat down at the table, ready to eat after not having breakfast or lunch all day.

“What are you doing? You think you deserve to eat? No. You're going to sit there and think about what you did.”

With sad eyes and an ache in your stomach, you didn’t fuss. You didn’t even say a word. You didn’t want him to see you cry so you held it in as much as you could. You hold back sobs, it creates a burning feeling in your chest and throat.

After you got home yesterday, Kade had been enraged. Accused you of cheating, he didn’t even mention you telling Jay about the abuse. It was worse because it was Jay. He knew your background, and how you fell in love with him when you were younger. Last night's memories were fuzzy after that. All you can remember was the agonizing pain and the god awful headache you had after he slammed your head against the kitchen counter. Kade has made you quit your job, you weren’t sure why.

Kade wipes his mouth with a cloth once he’s finished eating. “I try to be nice to you. But you test me. Every single day, you test me.” He stands from his seat at the table, coming closer and closer to you. You look up at him pleading with your eyes.

“Worthless. Pathetic. Get up.”

You do as you're told and stand up. He roughly grabs your arms, dragging you down the hall. You think he’s heading towards the bedroom but he stops at the hallway bathroom. He opens it and tosses me inside.

“This is your new room now. You should get comfortable,” he snarls. You're on the ground now, groaning. He takes the chance and shoves his foot into your chest.

When will it stop! When is enough, enough for him? Why am I not good enough? What did I do that made him so violent?

These things run through your head as he continues his abuse. Pain and suffering, blood and tears are things you have gotten used to.

It’s an hour later when he stops, wiping the sweat from his forehead as he stares down at you in disgust. You look at him weakly and in pain. You're almost positive you need medical attention, but you say nothing.

“Cheating whore,” he spits. With one final look, he’s gone. The sound of the kick in the bathroom door clicking, only making more tears pool in your eyes.

What has my life come to? When did it get this bad? How did I let it get this bad?

The bathroom floor was ice cold, even with a towel laid underneath you, you were still freezing. You know he bumped the temperature down, torturing you even when he wasn’t at home. You twirled the card between your fingers. His name sticking out along with his number.

Deceive Hay Halstead.

You remember fourteen year old you, rushing into your brothers room where he and Jay were playing video games. You remember how excited you were when you told the both of them you got the lead role in your dance group.

“I’m so proud of you,” Jay had exclaimed.

You wondered if he would be proud of you now.

Would he?

There’s so much history between you and Jay, a lot of things your brother never knew about, and now he never will.

It’s been days since you saw him. You can still see his smile and his perfect white teeth as he spoke to you. You can still feel his body against yours from that day he had you against the wall.

You should’ve told him. You're filled with regret. He could’ve helped you get out.

I wouldn’t be in this stupid bathroom if I had agreed to let him help me.

You could’ve called him the day he made you quit your job. You could’ve driven off, anywhere. Somewhere, where Kade couldn’t find you.

Yet, here you are. You have a few - a lot - new bruises that have replaced the old ones. There’s still a harsh pain in your chest and your stomach from not having eaten in days. You know it’s been at least a week.

He comes and goes. Sometimes you can hear giggles pass down the hallway to your shared bedroom. Then…you can hear him pleasing other women in your bed. The ones he would love you on, on good days.

But no…he is with other women while the woman he should be with is withering away down the hall.

You didn’t scream, you should’ve. You know that now. You were scared he would kill you or those girls. You wouldn’t have been able to live with yourself if something happened to them because of you and your stupidity.

So you sucked it up.

It’s been two weeks. Yesterday had to be one of the worst days. You recall the rage burning like fire in his eyes. He was angry, more than usual. Something must’ve happened. Either way, there’s no excuse for what he did.

The cuts along your back sting like hell. You begged him to stop, and it was a mistake. You should’ve let him beat you till it was out of his system for the night. If it’s even possible, he got angrier. He threw you into the bathroom counter, your back crashing into the mirror, causing it to shatter agains you. Your thigh had hit the faucet, creating a huge bruise on the back of it, but nothing hurt worse than the pain in your heart.

“Pathetic slut,” he snapped before walking out, locking the door behind him.

You sit on the floor only a day later, staring at yourself through the glossy flooring. A large shard of glass sat next to you, your eyes wander to it ever so often. It tempts you. Taunts you like a clear voice in your head.

“Do it.” It would say.

Then you would hear the sound of his voice. Familiar, warm, and inviting. Your heart aches. You miss him.

You can see him at the elevator, waiting for it to open while he looks at you.

“You’re strong. Remember that.”

You wonder why you pushed him away. Why you don’t let yourself trust the one man, that still lives, that would never hurt you.

A sob racks through your body as you pick up the large piece of the mirror and throw it across the room. An aggravated scream leaves you as you stand up with trembling legs.

How could I let this happen? Why didn’t I ask for help? The abuse has gone on for three years.

Your throughts were only “why” and “what if’s.”

He’s taken everything from you. Ripped you from your friends, your old life. You didn’t even notice at the time. You just needed someone. You followed him blindly. He told you you only needed him. Nothing - no one else.

I lost myself trying to please him.

You decided you're done letting him win. You're done letting him control your life. Your choices were dying here in this bathroom helplessly, or die trying to get out. You chose the latter.

You searched around the room in a haste, looking for anything to break the doorknob off. Your eyes trained on the top of the toilet. You take it off, arms falling at the weight. You are weak from the two weeks with no food, but you still find it in yourself to raise it over your head and lm it down in the knob.

You weren’t sure the exact time, but Kade would be home soon. So you knew you had to hurry

One hit didn’t seem to do it, so you raise it again and with a grunt, you use all your strength to slam it back down again. Your mouth falls open in surprise when the knob falls to the floor with a loud clanking noise.

It took you a moment, but you dropped the lid and rushed out of the bathroom. You made your way to the home phone, picking it up with shaky hands.

You're hit with a wave of dizziness, but you still dial the number you now know by heart. You were filled with hope when he answered after a couple of rings.

“Halstead.”

“JJ?”

There was a silence on the other end of the phone for a second, but soon he repeats your name.

“I want out. P-Please help me,” you beg, tears streaming down your face as you pathetically spike.

“Address. I need an address.”

The sound of the front door unlocking catches your attention. Your body goes ridged, frozen in place.

Jay repeats your name a couple of times.

“No. No,” you mutter as you begin to back away.

“Hey! What’s going on? I need an address, sweetheart.”

You somehow manage to tell him the address with a, “please hurry,” at the end. You hang up, throwing the phone to the side. You're filled with dread as Kade stumbles into the room, pulling at his tie. You're starting to regret what you just did.

Kade narrows his eyes, ripping his tie from his neck.

“How the hell did you get out?”

He stalks towards you, and although your first instinct is to run, you stay put. You're done taking the abuse.

“I’m done, Kade. We’re done.” You stand your ground, head held high and a new found confidence in your words. He laughs. It’s evil and sickening.

“We’re done? I say when we’re done!” He exclaims, his hand rising and connecting with your face before you had the chance to move. You fall to the floor from the power of the slap. Although you act confident and strong, you're weak. Two weeks without food would be the cause. It didn’t help that you were still in pain from the most recent beating.

You let out a cry as he pulls your hair back with a huff. “When will you learn?” He asked, pulling your head back so you were facing him.

“You look pathetic,” he laughs. You're slapped in the face once more before being dragged towards the kitchen by your throat. You grabbed at him, your instincts kicking in.

“God, your stupid,” he spat, shoving you into the table. Your eyes widen as you feel your skirt, the same one you’ve worn for two weeks now, being pulled around your hips. You felt hopeless now. You only hoped Jay would be here soon.

“At least you're good for something.” You heard him mutter before the sound of his zipper being undone filled your ears. You clamped your legs together and attempted to move, but it was no use. He overpowered you easily. You cried softly as he moved closer and held you down with a deadly grip on your bruised and cut back.

There’s a knock on the door that paused Kade’s actions. He hissed and pulled away, fixing himself.

“Who the hell did you call? Did you call someone?”

The look of fury in his eyes was enough to have you cowering in fear. A scream rips from your throat as he grabs you by your hair again.

“CPD! Open up!” You heard his familiar voice. The same voice you heard as you laid on the bathroom floor.

Kade’s grip on you tightens. “I’m going to kill you, you little bitch.”

A/N: Small cliffhanger? Yep. Chapter 3 should be out Tusedsy! If you want added to the Saviors taglist let me know!

@miranada0102 @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @kelelas-life

(Not sure why some of these didn’t work.)

#chicago pd #chicago pd imagines #jay halstead #jay halstead imagines #jay halstead x reader #one chicago #detective jay halstead #jay halstead one shots #chicago pd x reader #dom jay halstead

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sunmoonandeddie · 3 years

Text

feelings are fatal (17/24)

pairing: bucky barnes x reader, past steve rogers x reader

word count: 3,346

summary: After the events of Endgame, you struggle to come to terms with what you’ve lost, though you’re learning that you still have something to gain.

chapter warnings: swearing, violence, creepy men

masterlist

a/n: HEYYYYY HAPPY TWO YEAR BLOG BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!

Bucky’s heart was pounding as he finally shook the last of the Hydra goons that had been chasing him, glancing every which way just to double check.

He didn’t feel good about this.

It hadn’t even been ten minutes since the two of you had gotten separated, and he hated it. Granted, he always hated being away from you, had since you were fifteen.

Back then it was because he didn’t trust the Red Room instructors. Now it was because he was in love with you and being away from you made him feel like a part of his heart was missing.

Speed walking towards the entrance of Coney Island, he dug his phone out of his pocket and dialed Pepper’s number.

“Oh, my god, thank god. What the hell is wrong with you?” Pepper demanded angrily of him. “Do neither of you know how to answer your phones? Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” he said. He could hear his blood pumping in his ears. “We had to separate so I could try to lead the bad guys away, but they just… disappeared. I’m heading for our meeting spot now.”

Morgan and a few other kids were babbling in the background about how their day had gotten cut short, but he knew that the littlest Stark would understand better than anyone else once they explained to her.

Pepper was suspiciously quiet for… a long time. A long, long time.

“Pepper?” Bucky whispered, his voice cracking.

There was an unspoken question between them.

What if he’d fucked up?

Should he have stayed with her?

What if they’d gotten to her?

And one that was looming over his head, heavier than ever.

What if he never got to tell you how he felt?

“I’m here,” she said reassuringly.

“What if…” Bucky’s heart cracked inside of his chest. His throat was closing up with each passing second, his flesh palm sweaty. Keeping his grip on his cell phone was becoming a challenge. “What if I n-never g-get to tell her h-how I feel?”

“Don’t think like that.”

“God, I’m so fucking stupid,” he cursed as he made his way to the aquarium. His eyes flickered around the crowd, almost hoping he’d see the two women from earlier. They would’ve recognized you and might’ve seen you.

But there was no sign of them.

“Those fucking special skills or whatever would really come in fucking handy right now,” he cursed. With the way people were parting like the Red Sea in front of him, he knew he probably had his less-than-friendly expression on.

His Murder Face, as you called it.

Or his Resting Bitch Face, according to Sam.

Bucky ran his vibranium hand over his face as he tried not to panic. For one, he hadn’t even gotten to the meeting spot yet. Most likely, you were there waiting for him and he was worrying over nothing. “Tony and Natasha will haunt me forever if I let something happen to her.”

A sigh resounded over the phone. “You didn’t let something happen to her, Bucky. Hell, we don’t even know if something is wrong with her yet. But they both know that you have… you have literally devoted your entire being to taking care of her, protecting her. You did what you thought was the best option in the moment. And maybe… Maybe there was no getting out of that ambush without something happening to one of you.”

Rounding the corner to the tunnel, his heart stopped inside his chest.

You weren’t there.

“Bucky? Bucky? What’s going on? You there? What’s happening?”

It was like the world around him had gone fuzzy, and all he could hear was a ringing in his ears.

You weren’t there.

You weren’t there, and it was all his fault.

He told you to go to the tunnel.

How fucking stupid was he? The tunnel was possibly the worst place he could’ve told you to go to. It’s closed off, a literal tube with water all around you except two very small exits that were easily blocked.

What had he done?

Slumber had come easy for you for once. You were so exhausted, even your bones weary, from dancing all day. And by all day, that meant for over twelve hours because of your sadistic new instructor.

The last one had been… disposed of.

You’d woken at sunrise as usual and gone straight to ballet, only for the instructor to not let you go after the normal three hour class.

The rest of the girls filed out of the dance studio, some glancing back at you in curiosity.

There was no worry in their eyes. It was every girl for themselves these days.

If you thought real hard, you could remember a time when you all looked out for each other. You would braid each other’s hair, give a warning if any of the instructors or Madame B were near. If someone didn’t wake up when they were supposed to, the girls would shake her awake and help her get ready on time.

But that time was no more.

Those that ran the infamous Red Room didn’t like when their… students banded together. Things were better for them when you all hated each other and sought ways to sabotage the others.

It made you more likely to kill during a sparring session, and they only wanted girls who were willing to go all the way.

“Is there something you needed from me, madam?” You asked, your hands folded behind your back, spine straight, your chin high.

Good posture had been beaten into you within a week of arrival.

You didn’t forget a lesson like that anytime soon.

The instructor was new to you girls, though you had been told she wasn’t new to the Red Room. She’d been one of you, once upon a time.

One of the few who had survived to graduation, and then lived long enough after to be brought back as an instructor.

“I’m told you’re a prodigy,” she drawled as she slowly walked towards you, her platinum blonde hair pulled into a tight ballerina bun much like your own. While all of you girls wore black leotards, hers was a pale lilac, a shimmering rehearsal skirt tied around her waist that swished around her thighs. “That you are Madame B’s new pride and joy… Though, just based on your dancing, there is absolutely nothing to be prideful of. It is a surprise to me that you haven’t been… taken care of.”

The implication was clear.

Just based on that morning’s class, she thought you were bad enough at ballet to be killed.

Was it possible she just wanted you executed now? Was she about to do so?

Even though Madame B would be pissed, there were more girls that they could train. She’d only be upset for so long before she’d have a new prodigy, a new pride and joy.

Before the Soldat would have a new trainee.

Before your Soldat would have a new trainee. All the other Soldats could have all the trainees they wanted, but your Soldat, your Seven… The thought of him training another girl made bile rise up in your throat.

“Do you have pointers for things I could work on, madame?” You asked, shoulders tensing as she circled you. Like a vulture ready to scavenge a dying animal.

“I simply thought I could lend you some extra practice time,” she said, a sickly sweet smile spreading over her lips as she looked you up and down. “And don’t worry about Madame B and your other instructors. I already let them know that I wanted extra time with you today.”

The way she was speaking was setting off alarms in your mind.

“Perfect,” you said clearly, not letting your fear show. The instructors could smell fear and would use it against you until your heart stopped beating.

“Do you know the role of Aurora in the Sleeping Beauty ballet?” She asked, eyes cold. When you nodded, she chuckled. “Good. You’ll be dancing it on pointe, start to finish. Now.”

You were shocked when she then turned and started the music, but you did as she said.

Now, Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s Sleeping Beauty is his longest ballet ever, at almost four hours long.

And you danced all of it.

“Below average,” the instructor said, glaring daggers at you. “Again.”

You needed water desperately, your lungs fighting for air as you pretended to be unbothered by having done that by taking slow, even breaths.

But you had to do it again.

And again.

Every time you finished, she gave some comment about how your dancing was shit, how you’d never be good enough.

At this point, you wished she would simply kill you and get it over with. You were exhausted and your muscles felt like they were going to give out at any moment.

“MALEN’KAYA!”

You fell out of your pirouette in your shock, gasping as your ankle twisted and you fell to the ground. “Fuck!”

Your Soldat stormed into the dance studio as you looked up, eyes wide.

When had he gotten back? He’d been on a mission for the past few days, and fuck, you’d missed him something fierce.

“Soldat,” the instructor breathed out as she stopped moving, staring up at him with blue eyes. “Remember me?”

“Yes,” he said, glaring at her like she was a pile of dog shit he’d stepped in.

She moved towards him, her hand coming to rest on his chest. “I was hoping to see—” She was cut off as he raised his hands to hold her face. The harsh woman looked so… soft for him. “I missed you. Did you miss me?”

“No,” he snarled, his voice dropping almost an octave. “You should’ve thought twice before touching my malen’kaya.”

The light that had been in her eyes when she first saw him quickly disappeared as she realized she was totally, and utterly, fucked.

Your heart caught in your throat as he so easily twisted her head, a loud snap ringing through the air. He let her limp, lifeless body fall to the ground with a thump before turning and rushing to you. The darkness that had been in his face was long gone as he pulled you close, his hands running over you to try to find sources of injuries.

It took you a moment to realize he was speaking, your ears ringing as you stared at the dead woman on the ground.

“—you okay? What the hell happened? Who allowed this?” He asked, talking a mile a minute as he checked over you. Once he finally got to your pointe shoes, he took in a shaky breath. “I have to check,” he said as he reached for the pink ribbons tied around your ankles.

In the two years since you’d known him, you’d never seen his hands shake like they were.

Your eyes locked in on his face, his brows furrowed and his cheeks flushed, as he tentatively untied one of your pointe shoes. He slowly slipped it off, his breath catching in his throat as he looked at your foot. It was only when the second one came off that you finally looked at the damage.

Well… You were sure your feet could have looked much worse after dancing for over twelve hours, but… It still wasn’t pretty.

“I’m okay. It doesn’t hurt that bad,” you lied, trying to soothe him.

He was usually much more composed than this, his face harder.

Even when he was feeling a bit nicer, a bit softer, it was nothing like this.

The Soldat shook his head, looking absolutely pissed. “You don’t have to lie. Never lie to me.”

“I’m not lying,” you insisted. “But that might be because right now, they’re numb, so I can’t feel anything at all from about my ankles down. But that does mean I didn’t lie.”

You were attempting to joke with him, lighten up the mood a bit. However, he definitely didn’t seem to be taking the bait.

When you glanced over at the windows, for some reason you were surprised to see how late it was. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” he drawled as he scooped you up, leaving your pointe shoes behind as he carried you to the locker room. The man was somehow almost completely silent as he set you on a bench and grabbed a first aid kit out of what seemed to be thin air, before gently cleaning away the blood.

Water was dripping somewhere in the locker room, the droplets hitting the tiled floor with soft clinks.

“You were gone,” you whispered, eyes trained on his face. He was still so handsome, even with the frown lines that were starting to appear. Not that you could blame him, everything he’d been through would more than warrant a few wrinkles. “You were gone so long…”

The Soldat’s eyes were soft, despite being the color of the ice that coated the windows. “I know… I can’t stand being away from you, but if I didn’t go… They’d find some way to punish me.” His rough flesh hand cupped your cheek. “And I think they’re starting to catch on that the best way to punish me would be through you, malen’kaya.”

For a second, you thought he was gonna kiss you. From the way his eyes flicked down to your lips and back up again, you could’ve sworn on your life.

But then he took in a deep breath.

And his hand left your cheek.

You tried to push down the disappointment that welled up in your throat, biting your lip.

“Come on, malen’kaya,” he said as he finished wrapping up your poor feet. “Let’s get you to bed.”

The other girls were already sleeping when he carried you into your room, each one of them with a single wrist handcuffed to the bed frame.

“Hate knowing that you’re locked here all night,” Soldat said, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear as he approached the only empty bed in the room. “It’s like… putting a lark in a cage. I don’t like it.”

“I know,” you said. “But… It’s just how it is.” You looked up at him with bright eyes as he laid you down and tucked the blanket in around you, making sure you were nice and cozy before he took your left wrist and cuffed it to the metal frame.

“Get some sleep,” he murmured, brushing his metal fingers along your cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Oh, God…

Everything hurt…

Why did everything hurt?

It was like your head had been shoved under water, but your eyes were too heavy to open.

“—gotta take the video and send it.”

“How do we know he’ll come?”

“Oh, he’ll come. He’ll always come for her.”

Who was that? The voices sounded vaguely familiar, but not quite.

“His precious malen’kaya.”

You slipped back into unconsciousness even as you fought the darkness coming over you, slumping down again.

The clock ticked obnoxiously loud as you sat in the diner booth, your knee pulled up to your chest. A cold cup of half-drank coffee was sitting on the table in front of you.

You’d been waiting over an hour for him to show.

The lunch rush had come and gone, and the waitresses—in their rockabilly uniforms and roller skates—were shooting you pitying looks.

“This is fucking ridiculous,” you huffed as you got to your feet and slammed a crisp twenty dollar bill on the vinyl table top. “He asks me on a fucking date and then doesn’t fucking show. How fucking typical.”

It had only been two days since the mission where he’d asked you out on a date. Your ankle was wrapped, and you were under strict orders to rest.

So, of course, you’d dragged yourself out to this diner that he insisted on taking you to.

Well, meeting you at since you really, really didn’t want to deal with the awkwardness of riding in the same car.

If you were being honest, it hurt. A lot. You’d gotten your hopes up over the past two days, tossing and turning at night as you dreamed of what would happen on your date. Would it go anywhere? Would he end up being the love of your life?

You hadn’t had a crush on anyone since…

Well… Since your Soldat.

You missed him so fucking much.

And he wouldn’t have stood you up.

“Fuck Steve Rogers.”

Your face was flushed as you headed home, storming through the streets of Manhattan to the Avengers Tower. You needed time to stew, and the subway would be too fast.

“I should’ve just stayed home and taken that fucking bubble bath,” you huffed as you got in the elevator and rode up to the residential floors. Even if it had been meant to be a casual first date, you’d done your hair and stressed over your makeup, wearing your nicest pair of leggings and sneakers that didn’t have mud on the bottoms.

And even if the plan had been for it to be casual, you’d been looking forward to flowers and a kiss on the cheek, stealing a fry from his plate and maybe playing footsie under the table.

Just a little.

Like other girls got to do.

The elevator music was getting into your head, and there was no doubt it’d be haunting your dreams. But when the doors opened onto the common area floor, you were just about ready to burst into tears.

Because Steven Grant Rogers was sitting at the kitchen island and eating a sandwich as he laughed at some joke Rhodey made.

You couldn’t believe him. Was this his plan all along?

Steeling yourself, you straightened your spine and walked with purpose, planning on walking right by without even acknowledging him.

But of course, that wouldn’t be your luck.

As soon as Steve caught sight of you, he froze, his blue eyes going wide. Breathing out your name, he quickly scrambled to his feet. “Wait! Wait! Please! I’m so fucking sorry, I completely forgot!”

“It’s fucking fine, Rogers. It’s clearly a sign that this is was a bad idea in the first place,” you said, your voice cold enough to freeze him again.

“What?! No! Please, I’m just…” He groaned as he followed you onto the elevator that would take you up to the other residential floors. “I just had three meetings before noon and completely forgot! That doesn’t mean I don’t want this date with you!”

Taking a breath, you turned on him, glaring at him like he was a piece of dog shit on your shoe. “You know what the cherry on top of this is?” You asked with a laugh. “My first fucking date of my entire fucking life, and I get stood up. Fuck you, Rogers. Fuck. You.”

You’d successfully shocked him, and left him looking like a guppy, his mouth hanging open as he watched you leave him standing there.

When you came to again, you actually found the strength to open your eyes.

The room around you was like every stereotypical hostage room you’d ever seen in real life, and in movies.

Almost like the one Olivia Pope had been in on Scandal.

Though, you had a feeling that this one was real and wasn’t just a fancy set in a warehouse.

“Where am I?” You asked yourself, trying to take stock of everything. “Okay. Head hurts. Expected that. Don’t feel any sharp pains… so he probably shot me with a tranquilizer and not a bullet… Which is probably better for my chances of escape.” It was so fucking cold, your entire body was trembling. “No phone, so no way for the others to track me. Same clothing I was in… so at least there’s that.”

Your voice died as you heard movement beyond the black steel door in front of you, watching as it slowly opened. Your heart sank as you realized who was standing in front of you.

“It’s been too long, malen’kaya.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n

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morganayenneferburnham · 3 years

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Have I Known You 20 Seconds or 20 Years? – Nikolai Lantsov Series

Chapter 1: Devils Roll the Dice, Angel Roll their Eyes

Chapter 2: You Did a Number on Me

Chapter 3: You Could Call Me Babe for the Weekend

Chapter 4: The Best of Times, The Worst of Crimes

Chapter 5: All I Know Since Yesterday Is Everything Has Changed

Chapter 6: That Night We Couldn't Quite Forget

A very short summary: Y/N has been working with the crows for a few years. Her life feels complete until she meets the insufferable Nikolai Lantsov. She finds herself forced to work with the King of Ravka on one of Kaz Brekker’s crazy schemes.

Word count: 2k

A/N: Coming back at you with an update!

I introduced Kaz's POV to make it a bit more interesting. Keep in mind that this is taking place a few years after the events of SOC and CK so Kaz has gotten a bit of time to heal. This chapter explores how the events of the night of the party affect Nikolai, Y/N, and Kaz.

Enjoy! :)

Chapter 6: That Night We Couldn't Quite Forget

It had been decided they would stay at the Hendriks’ mansion to prepare for the next part of the job. It would be easier to keep their plans secret that way and the mansion was much more accommodating for their group than the slat.

A few days had passed since Y/N’s troubling confession. It was true that Brekker seemed to be in a particularly sour mood every time Nikolai had tried to talk to him, but the king still couldn’t believe he’d send the Grisha back to the pleasure house.

Even if Dirtyhands truly was as ruthless as rumored, she was simply too valuable... and Nikolai didn’t believe Kaz was everything the rumors made him out to be. He hadn’t missed the hint of pride in Kaz’s voice when he talked about the many talents of his Grisha. Kaz even seemed quite possessive of the girl. Nikolai knew something else had to be going on. Y/N had to be mistaken. Kaz wouldn’t send her back to the pleasure house, Nikolai was sure of it. So why was she convinced he would? What had given her that impression?

Y/N had avoided him since that fateful conversation, but her distance had done little to clear Nikolai’s mind. Had he really imagined the hurt in her eyes when he had told her he shouldn’t have kissed her? Of course. He had to have imagined it. Surely, she couldn’t believe he didn’t want her. She was intriguing, brilliant, and absolutely gorgeous. How could he not want her? How could anyone not want her?

Nikolai couldn’t stop thinking about her. When his mind wasn’t trying to understand what had happened between her and Brekker, it wandered back to that night. The look on her face when he had pulled back from the kiss had been breathtaking. He had wanted to ignore the guard, ignore the job they had to do. He had wanted to stay in the moment, but that had been impossible.

Maybe he should go see her. He should apologize to her. For what? For kissing her? Or for saying he shouldn’t have? Maybe for asking Brekker about her? It baffled him to find himself so helpless when it came to her. He was usually so charming. Why was it so hard with Y/N? He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to know why she thought Kaz wanted to send her back to the Blue Iris. He wanted to be the one to comfort her. That was his problem. He had always wanted things he couldn’t have. He had always wanted too much. Nikolai Nothing. Nikolai, who has no right to his name. Bastard. Nikolai, who has no right to his crown. Pretender. Nikolai, who has no right to her heart.

“Nikolai! Are you even listening?” He flinched. Zoya sounded particularly annoyed.

“Of course, dear. You were going on about the report we’ve received from Tamar.”

“And what exactly does the report say, moi Tsar?” her raised eyebrow and amused smirk made it clear she knew he wouldn’t be able to answer her. Damn it, why does she have to know me so well?

A knock on the door saved him the embarrassment of having to come up with a poorly concocted excuse.

Wylan’s head popped in from the doorway. “Kaz wants to see everyone. He’s made progress with the plan.”

---

Nikolai and Zoya had made their way to the music room, following Wylan through the corridors. Nikolai took place on the back of the small couch facing the table Kaz was using as a makeshift desk. He was right behind the Grisha who occupied most of his thoughts. The chairs had already been occupied by the other members of their little group of misfits, and he figured he was better off leaving the last available one to Zoya. Though he would never admit it; his choice had been influenced as much by his desire to appease Zoya as his desire to be close to Y/N.

Maybe he should’ve thought about the consequences this particular sitting arrangement would have before taking place. He knew Kaz had started explaining something about the security of the base, but he just couldn’t focus on the criminal’s words. Y/N’s head was practically resting on the outside of his thigh and some of her hair was splayed across the fabric of his trousers. The flowery scent of her hair was hypnotizing. Nikolai couldn’t think straight. He wondered if it was as soft as it looked. Saints he wanted to feel it between his scarred fingers. He wanted to touch her. He wanted her.

He had wanted her since the moment they’d kiss. Since the moment he had felt her relax in his arms. If he was truly honest with himself, he had wanted her since the moment they’d met. He knew fairytales were just that, but he could’ve sworn the beautiful Grisha had cast a spell on him, just like in the stories his mother had read to him all those years ago.

---

Kaz had realized Nikolai wasn’t paying attention to anything he was saying. The King’s entire focus was on the corporalnik sitting in front of him. Kaz felt his anger bubbling inside of him. It was becoming a very familiar feeling when it came to the Ravkan King. Losing Jordie wasn’t enough? Losing Matthias and Nina wasn’t enough? Do I really have to watch her leave me too?

Inej had taken over, explaining what she and Zoya had discovered about the guards.

For a long time after Jordie’s death, Kaz had thought he didn’t really need anyone. He thought he hadn’t needed any human connection, but his crows had shown him otherwise. They had made him realize he wasn’t alone. He could rely on people. He could trust them. Losing Matthias had been hard on everyone and much harder on Nina than on any of them. Kaz had understood why Nina had left Ketterdam to go back to Ravka, but understanding hadn’t softened the blow of her departure. Kaz struggled every time he had to watch Inej leave on the ship he had given her even though he knew she always came back to him. He didn’t think he could bear watching Y/N leave their family to follow Nikolai back to Ravka.

It was funny, really. A former Drüskelle, wrongfully convicted of slavery. A Ravkan heartrender with a ridiculous appetite. A Zemeni sharpshooter with a gambling problem. A merchling runaway with a terrible father. A Suli indenture turned spy. A Kaelish corporalnik with a gift for getting on his nerves. This unlikely bunch of people had become his family. They had found their way into his cold heart. He rarely showed it, but he truly loved them.

He had already lost so much. He couldn’t bear losing anyone else. If that meant crossing a king, he wouldn’t hesitate to do it. He’d get Nikolai the plans and the prototypes he wanted, but that would be the last time he’d work with him.

Inej had stopped speaking. She was looking at him expectantly.

“Thank you Darling Inej.” The corners of his mouth quirked up, barely noticeable to anyone but her. “According to the blueprints, the antechamber to the vault functions as a scale. If any weight is added it triggers a defense mechanism. We’ll have to temper with the mechanics of it. I haven’t quite figured that part out yet. I’m hoping Wylan will come up with something.”

“On it, boss! I’ll take a look at the plans after this.” Wylan had really grown into his role with the dregs. Kaz still remembered the insecure boy he had first met for the Ice Court job.

Kaz nodded. “If triggered, the doors to the antechamber close and it becomes sealed before it fills up with water, drowning anyone inside it.”

“No pressure then.” Jesper piped up, his tone was way too jovial for the grim reality they were facing.

---

Y/N knew this meeting was important, but she couldn’t get her mind under wraps. She could feel Nikolai’s every movement behind her, and it was driving her crazy. She felt her hair move with his thigh as he shifted his position repeatedly. She had avoided him as much as she possibly could. She was trying and failing, to appease Kaz. Avoiding Nikolai had seemed to help keep her mind off him a bit during the day but at night her mind kept bringing up that Saints forsaken night.

The previous night she’d dreamt of him, again. However, it hadn’t only been the memories of their kiss. In her dream, they had been back in her room at the Hendriks’ mansion and, this time, the kiss hadn’t been part of an act. It hadn’t been Ainsley and Eoin Ó Ceallaigh. It had been Y/N Y/L/N and Nikolai Lantsov. That was ridiculous. Nikolai couldn’t possibly think of her that way. He obviously didn’t want her. Why would he? He was King of Ravka. He could have anyone he wanted. She was a Grisha indenture working for a barrel boss. She was no one.

That knowledge didn’t help her right now. Nikolai kept shifting his weight behind her. He was distracting her from the meeting, from her job. She couldn’t keep thinking of him. She needed to pay attention to Kaz. She needed to prove to him she could do the job. She needed to show Kaz she deserved her place with the crows. She had to stop thinking about Nikolai.

Kaz kept explaining the information they had already collected and what else needed to be done before the heist. She willed her mind back to the matter at hand. She managed to ignore Nikolai for the rest of the meeting. Keeping a strong hand on her mind’s reins. Kaz ended the meeting sending everyone on their way. There was still a lot to do before they would be ready to break into the military base.

-----

Kaz knew Y/N was lurking behind him. She had waited for everyone to file out before approaching him. He waited for her to speak, knowing she had something on her mind.

“You are going to send me back, aren’t you?” He heard the tremble in her voice. She sounded resigned.

He was surprised by her question. He had been expecting her to lose it on him for being in such a sour mood. He had been expecting a lecture not… whatever this was. “Send you back? Send you back where, Y/N?”

“The house of the Blue Iris, Kaz. I know you think I screwed up on the job. I know how much you hate people screwing up.” That surprised him. Of course, he’d rather have every job go perfectly according to the plan but that was improbable in their line of work. Why would he blame her for something out of her control?

A bitter laugh left his throat. “Is that really what you think of me?” Wasn’t he helping Inej go after slavers? Why would he send anyone to a pleasure house? Let alone a member of his family?

“I would never send you back there! You’re not people, Y/N. You are important to the crew… You’re important to me.” He knew he should leave it at that. “You’re a valuable investment.”

“But… You’ve been so… angry with me?” He could tell she was unsure, scared to make his anger flare up again.

“I’m not mad that a guard came back earlier than you thought, and that you had to improvise. It was the right move.”

“Then why are you mad, Kaz? What did I do?” He could hear the plea in her voice.

“You did nothing wrong.” That was true. He wasn’t mad at her. He was scared to lose her. Not that he’d ever tell her that. “I’m not angry with you, Y/N. My problem is with the king.” She looked at him, her eyes full of questions. He didn’t want to get into it right now. “You should help Wylan with the plan,” he said, dismissing her.

Kaz listened to her footsteps as she left. He still couldn’t believe she doubted him. He hoped he had succeeded in convincing her he never wanted to see her go. If he wasn’t more careful, he was going to push her right into Nikolai’s awaiting arms.

-----

tagged: @power-of-words23

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai Lantsov fanfic #nikolai lantsov fic #kaz brekker #the crows #six of crows #nikolai duology #leigh bardugo #grishaverse #nikolai series #my fic #ari's fic #chapter 6 #have i known you 20 seconds or 20 years #fic update #that night we couldn't quite forget #crooked kingdom

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tharros-auris-black-asimi · 3 years

Text

Lay All Your Love on Me (Chapter 4)

Pairing: Soft!Dark!Lee Bodecker x Female Reader

Summary: After moving to Knockemstiff, Ohio with your troubled parents, you find solace in the local Seven-Eleven. There, you bump into the Alpha sheriff, Lee Bodecker.

And then you keep bumping into him. There’s just something about that chubby Alpha that keeps drawing you in. Now there’s something going on with the new preacher of the church that you attend. Everything’s a mess.

But you’re an unbonded Omega. Life can turn to shit anyway.

Chapter Warnings: ABO dynamics, dysfunctional families, mentions of cheating, age gap (Reader is nineteen while Lee is in his late twenties/early thirties), religious themes, scenting, explicit language. There is a physical fight in this chapter, as well as some mild slut-shaming words being used.

As the months flew by and the springtime slowly turned warmer, hotter, your mother had been pondering. Looking. Sitting in the car in front of the police’s office, as she had been for the past few hours now. Since her husband had been off doing his gambling again. It was nighttime.

The sheriff’s light was still on. She could see it still lit from where she was in the car.

Sometimes, your mother wondered, how she had allowed it to come to this.

She always thought about leaving. About skipping town with you and never coming back.

It would’ve been so easy. She should've done it sooner.

But she didn’t.

She couldn’t.

Divorce would’ve been okay for her. Betas had so much leeway with the laws, that no one would've batted an eyelash with a pair of Betas divorcing.

But if a Beta couple had an unbonded Omega?

Forget it.

She knew after the Civil Rights movement that Omegas were slowly getting more and more rights now. Especially in the workplace. Just a bit. Not enough to change everyone’s view of Omegas working in the workplace, however. But it was a start.

The car door opened. She let out a sigh. Her chest heavy. She closed the door behind her as she made sure to lock it, slipping her car keys into her purse. Clutching her purse tightly to her chest, she made her way into the police station.

Lee had been working.

He had been working all night.

He wasn’t able to have a date with you tonight. You had gotten the cold and had stayed home. Your mother had been taking care of you for the past couple of days. Lee had felt so empty without seeing you sitting in the chair across from his desk, smiling at him. Sipping at your slushie as you watched him work. He never felt so lonely. It was almost like his mood had soured.

A knock on the door made him pause his work. The chair squeaked as he got up to walk out of his office, to the front entrance.

What he saw made him pause.

Your mother stood on the other side, looking at him with the same exact look she had given him the same day he was there at church. Looking at him up and down, as if she was studying him. Like he was something to be studied. It didn’t make him uneasy. He had faced hell and back. His Alpha was not scared of this Beta. But Lee could smell your mother’s citrus scent. She had notes that smelled like you. Your familiar smell of chocolate chip cookies. It was a slightly sweeter undertone that made him feel safe. Made him feel at home. Warmed him from head to toe. It reminded him of home.

“Evenin’ ma’am.” Lee greeted your mother. Your mother gave him a nod.

“Sheriff Bodecker. Are ya the only one on duty?” She asked. Nodding came from Lee as he escorted her inside. He might’ve been an Alpha, had a position of power that was above you and your mother, but Lee Bodecker was still a gentleman. When the two of them had walked back to Lee’s office, he told her to make herself comfortable before he sat down behind his desk and looked at the last bits of paperwork that he had. The things he did to be where he was now.

“I need ta ask ya, Sheriff. What are your intentions with my pup?”

Lee looked up at your mother. Completely and utterly caught by surprise for the first time in his life.

“Ma’am?”

She only leaned closer. Looked at him straight into the eyes, like she was trying to pick him apart. Or rip him limb by limb. Whichever seemed palatable at the moment.

“You heard me, sir. What are your intentions with my pup?” She said again.

He blinked.

“Um…”

“Do you want her bite? Are you going to give her pups? A warm home? Are you going to take care of her and your pack?” she demanded him.

And she waited.

For a few seconds, she looked at him, her gaze seemingly burning into his soul like she was his Judge.

It was at that moment that Lee made up his mind.

Like it clicked.

The puzzle pieces going right into the place where they should be.

“Yes.”

Now it was just easy.

Flowing through him like drinking water on a cool day.

He knew exactly what he wanted.

His Alpha was in total agreement. For once, they were on the same page. Totally and completely.

No more fooling around.

He needed to get straight to the point and just do it.

“Yes, what?”

Your mother was just the slightest bit unconvinced. Because she needed to know. Right from the source. She needed to make sure that you would be okay. That you would be taken care of. That if she were to pass away suddenly, that you had a roof over your head, someone to support you, and a family that you would have with your future Alpha.

You needed to be secure.

“Yes. I want it. I want all of it. I want to be with her. I want my mark on her gland.”

And how badly he wanted it too.

He wanted to see it.

He wanted to see his mark on your gland. He wanted you to smell like him.

He wanted you to carry his pups.

Be his Omega.

His Bondmate.

His wife.

Everything and anything. All of it. The entire package.

“… I want her to have my pups too. My ring. My name. All of it.”

Your mother listened.

There might have been a part of her. A part of her that was preening because it had been exactly what she wanted to hear. Her hands put themselves on Lee’s desk. She continued to look at the dark-haired, much older Alpha and pondered.

“And you’re sure? You’re sure can take care of her, be the Bondmate, be the Alpha, be the father to her children, her pups? Be the one she needs?”

Lee leaned close. So close your mother could see the storminess in them.

“I’m not sure. I know I’m the one she needs. Are you going to doubt me anymore, ma’am? Any more questions?”

Your mother’s lips curled. Stretched into what looked to be the beginnings of a smile.

“No. No more questions, Sheriff Bodecker. Thank you. Have a good night. I’ll go and tell my daughter that you said hello.”

She stood up, beginning to head to the door.

“Wait.”

She was just about to turn the doorknob when the tone of his voice made her turn her head back.

“Tell her I love her too.”

Your mother smiled.

“I will.”

And then the door opened and closed.

A few weeks later… in Coal Creek, West Virginia…

It was sticky.

Hot.

Humid.

You felt like you could drink the air as if it were water.

Such weather you were not surprised with, nor not used to, due to living in Michigan before you had moved to Ohio.

So the sticky hot, humid air didn’t quite make you suffer as much.

Emma and your mother were out. They had gone into town to grab some supplies with Arvin.

There was going to be a new preacher that was going to fill in the position after the old one had retired. At least, that was what Lenora had told you. The two of you were back at the church graveyard. Visiting her mother, as she usually did. Or tried to. She had told you that she hadn’t grown up with her mother. That her dad was nonexistent. She had been a baby when her mother died, and when her father had basically vanished off of the face of the earth. But Lenora was convinced her dad was still out there. Somewhere.

You came for emotional support.

Because you didn’t know if you could be helpful for anything else, really.

Hand clutching, holding her Bible close to her chest, Lenora got up from her crouched position. She looked at her mother’s grave, a solemn look in her eyes.

“You know… I think he’s still out there. My daddy.”

You looked at her.

“That’s good, Lenora. Maybe… maybe one day you’ll find him. You’ll see him.” You assured her. Lenora didn’t smile though. She just gave you another solemn look and only gave you a short nod.

You hugged her. Gently rubbing your wrist against hers, softly enveloping her in your scent.

“It’s okay,” your whisper was gentle.

“It’s okay.”

“Did you get the stuff?” You asked Arvin later that day when the two of you finally had some alone time. The two of you were now outside, on the porch, while Arvin was standing up and you were sitting on the old rocking chair that Emma never truly wanted to donate, or give away. She loved that old thing. It held a special place in her heart. She had a point though, every morning you tried to get some sun, and you’d just come out there and sit on the chair. Just gazing out. Seeing the sun slowly rise.

Arvin looked at you.

“Yeah, we got the stuff. Some liver,” Arvin replied back to you. A thoughtful hum came from you.

“Liver, huh?”

He nodded.

“Yeah,” he said, “it was all we could really afford. We ain’t as rich as the other people who go ta church with us.”

That you understood. You could understand that.

“Your grandma’s a hell of a good cook though. Anything she makes, I’ll eat it.”

Arvin chuckled. You could smell the wafting smells of a bonfire. It made you feel warm and safe. Cozy.

But you could still feel her. Your Omega. She was slithering around, waiting on the sidelines.

Now. Your Omega didn’t mind Arvin.

Not at all.

But he wasn’t Lee. He did not smell like her Alpha. He did not smell like chocolate and bourbon. He smelled like a damn bonfire and it made her want to choke sometimes. It wasn’t that she hated him. She was very fond of the other Alpha. Arvin was only a year younger than you. Around your age. So it was okay.

“Even if it got burnt?” Arvin questioned you.

You let out a snort.

“Puh-lease. As if ya Auntie could burn anything. Hell, she could burn it and I would still eat it. Put enough salt n’ pepper on it, and I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.”

Arvin laughed again.

Later that week...

You were pulling at the sleeves of the dress that you were currently wearing.

Itchy.

Your skin was itchy.

And it was still hot. And humid.

You hated this.

Your Omega was looming in you. Being depressed, as usual.

She missed her Alpha. Dearly.

Because as people were crowding into the church, she loomed. Watched as people walked around you.

Preston Teagardin was standing in front of the room.

Watching.

His blue eyes looking around.

Watching all of these people as Emma put her dish down on the table, before walking back to where you, Arvin, Lenora, and your mother were.

And then he saw you.

Standing there. In your black dress, looking around like this place was the last place where you’d rather be. Your kitten heels on. Your hair was tied up, due to the hot and humid weather.

And you were looking back.

A chill creeping up your spine as you looked into those blue eyes.

Your Omega stirred.

She was up and alert now.

Narrowing her eyes at him from where she was seated in her cage.

This Alpha.

She did not trust this Alpha.

A few days later…

The worst day in your life happened in the afternoon.

Your father had come home early. Your mother was still at one of her friend’s houses from down the block. Doing as housewives did. Catching up. Gossiping. Discussing their book club. Stuff like that.

When he stepped through the front door, nothing had been out of the ordinary. There were no noises coming from the house and he suspected that maybe, just maybe, you weren’t home.

And you weren’t. You had secretly gone out to go and get some air, go to the local library to catch up on the latest book that you were reading, and then later after you came home and got some time by yourself, you were going to go to the Seven-Eleven and meet up with Lee as you usually did. Your usual schedule.

So when he walked into the hallway and peered into your room, because your bedroom door was open, he saw something strange.

A leather jacket had been nestled into your nest. Your room smelled like you. Chocolate chip cookies. Sweet. Making your father remember the happier moments in your childhood.

But there was something lurking on the surface. If your father had been drunk, he might’ve not noticed it.

However, he was not drunk now. Now, he was fully and completely sober. Having been off of the alcohol for a few days. Three, at the least. It was a well-known and memorized routine that you knew by heart. Your father would drink, wait three days, and then drink again. Not like Lee, who was kept off of the damn beverage.

The slight smell of bourbon and chocolate was filling the air. Almost like it was possessing the space. Like it was sinking its way in.

His footsteps carried him into your room as he opened your bedroom door with a small creaking noise.

He came closer to your nest. In your space.

When you and your family had fully moved in, you had told your parents up and down, side to side, that they were not welcome in your room unless you allowed them in. Your room was your space. It was the only room in the house that you could have all to yourself. Needless to say, you were a bit territorial with your room. And who could blame you?

The familiar thought went through your father’s mind as he walked into your room, towards your bed. As he got closer, he realized what he was looking at.

A leather jacket had been nestled into your nest. When your father took a whiff, it was nearly rubbed out completely of its scent.

Chocolate and bourbon came up to his nose.

There was only one person he knew that smelled like that. Had that particular scent.

Sheriff Lee Bodecker.

You were messing around with the sheriff.

His eyes were narrowing. His scent, his woodsy scent became more pronounced, changing, shifting to someone more woodsy. He could almost imagine himself in the woods.

Your father would wait. He was patient.

When you got home from the library, it was too late.

As soon as you had come through the door, made sure you had even locked it behind you, a hand came, gripping your hair so tight you were sure it was going to be pulled from your scalp. You let out a shout. It had happened so quickly that your brain hadn’t even registered it.

Pulled. You were getting pulled somewhere into the house. Deeper into your family home. You were beginning to shout now. Shout and scream in protest. If it weren’t for the overwhelming, overbearing smell of a tantalizing woody forest, you would’ve never figured it was your father dragging you by your hair. Your feet kicked from underneath you. Not good enough to trip your father by his own two feet. He had been a doctor after all. He had been trained in situations like these. He worked in the damn ER, for fuck’s sake.

From the familiar clicking of your kitten heels on the floor, you managed to look down.

The kitchen. You were being yanked into the kitchen. Then you were shoved headfirst towards the wooden cabinets. Being shoved so hard that you nearly broke your nose due to the hard impact. There was a loud thud noise when your face smacked up against it. You must’ve heard a cracking noise.

Your nose was broken. It had begun to bleed. You were gasping, frantically gripping the countertops of the sink to keep you steady. A sharp kick to your back made you cry out in pain. Not that you weren’t in pain already. You could feel your Omega within you, screeching. Having begun the starting points of throwing a fit. Screaming at the audacity of your Beta father for treating you this way.

Your head had begun to ring. A white noise buzzing.

You had been so focused on getting your wits back, and your Omega was far too busy throwing her fit that the two of you had blocked out your father’s yelling.

“… and then I see this! Have you decided on being a fucking harlot now?”

You turned your head.

Your eyes had gone wide.

In your father’s grip, in your father’s hand, was Lee’s leather jacket. The one he wore so often. The one he had given to you because you had gotten cold one day. It had been a slightly chilly night and he had given it to you. You had protested the entire way home, saying that you would be fine. Even though you were visibly shivering. But Lee had shrugged it off of him, his jacket pouring pure Alpha pheromones, and had put it on you.

You had been so certain. So sure that you had put it away from sight.

But then you had remembered that you had put it in your nest.

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You were so fucking stupid. How could you have done that? Put Lee’s jacket in your nest like a fool? Those types of behaviors, those types of things were for bonded pairs! Like your parents. Not like people such as Lee and you. You didn’t have his mark. He didn’t have yours. What the hell were you thinking, entertaining this charade?

As your father continued to shout at you, his words were slowly sinking in.

He was right.

Why had you been entertaining this goddamn charade? Why?

How could you let this go on?

You couldn’t do it.

You couldn’t keep doing this.

“… I raised you in this house-”

No, you didn’t, your Omega thought snidely. You’ve been sleeping with other women. What’s your excuse?

Was your father hearing himself?

“… after all the damn hard work I did, raising you-”

Please, your Omega was butting in again. If anything, I saw my mother more than you. All you did was work. I barely saw your ass.

Stupid Beta.

When your father had opened his mouth to speak again, your Omega lashed out.

Your foot came from your front. Shooting out and kicking him as hard as she could. Your Omega had been aiming for his groin, but apparently, she had reached just a bit higher. Good on her. She saw your father shout something as she kicked him again, sending him back a bit.

Yanking the cabinet door open. Your hand grabbed the first thing it could find a grip on.

A handle.

This felt familiar.

Oh.

It was a skillet. When you managed to pull it out and whack it in your father’s face, you then realized, you had grabbed a cast-iron skillet. The one that your mother had used yesterday to make dinner. It was a little rusty. But it would do. Scrambling to get to your feet, your Omega snarled.

She was done.

Finished.

Her temper had sky rocked out of the roof.

She was done with a capital D.O.N.E. and this Beta, this lousy excuse of a Beta who had given you his sperm was going to pay for the words that he had spoken against your Alpha.

Another whacking noise had sent him back. The further he crawled back, yelling at you, the more she stepped forward.

How dare he.

When she raised the skillet down and rained blow after blow down on his body, she might’ve heard something crack. Or snap. She was sure she had gotten his shoulder. Maybe cracked one of his ribs. She knew his face was bleeding. Blood coming down from his nose.

How dare he talk bad about her Alpha?

How dare he?

“How fucking dare you!”

Pissed.

Oh, she was so fucking pissed off.

And it was around that time that she began to hear sirens. Shouts were filling the house and your Omega screeched, screamed, and shouted as someone was trying to pull her off.

“Get off of me!” You were howling. Clawing at someone’s shirt.

This was not your Alpha. A young Alpha deputy was pulling you away as you howled in dismay. Your Omega being pushed back again, kicking and screaming.

Alpha.

She needed her Alpha.

Taglist: @greeneyedblondie44, @bxnnywriting

#lee bodecker #the devil all the time #lee bodecker x reader #lee bodecker smut #sebastian stan fanfiction

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pastelwitchling · 3 years

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Malex Happily Ever After chapter 114 sequel

Part One.

“Yeah,” Alex said into his phone, rubbing his eyes with his other hand. It was noon, but he hadn’t slept all night, consumed instead with his work at the base, his work in dismantling Project Shepherd, his breakup with Forrest, and his desire to talk to Michael about it all.

He had no idea why. It wasn’t like Michael was usually the epitome of comfort, but . . . Alex always thought, stupidly, that once Michael and Maria had ended things, and he and Forrest ended things, and they were both single again, that they would find their way back to each other. But Michael was keeping distance between them and smirking at Alex’s words every now and then, and it just felt a lot like being back where they started.

He plopped down on his couch and hung his head back to stare at the ceiling as Liz kept talking in his ear. She was saying a lot about the lab and bloodwork and finally finding Mr. Jones. Alex was tired, but he kept up fine. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw the duffel bag lying halfway under the couch. The duffel bag he’d packed so many months ago when leaving and never coming back had felt like running away. He’d thrown in a few more things over the past year, and constantly found himself looking to it, just barely having forgotten that it was there.

He stopped listening to Liz, thinking about taking that duffel bag now, throwing it in his car, and just driving. It didn’t feel like running away anymore. He’d tried as hard as he could to be with Michael, and now he found himself along again, feeling worse than ever. Because now he knew Michael had loved somebody else. He knew Michael had tried, but not for him.

Alex pinched the bridge of his nose as Liz went on, ending with the question, “So you think you can come by and check it out?”

Alex shook his head. “Er – sorry, come where?”

“Michael’s bunker,” she said. “That’s where we’re testing the serum. No one’s studied the Project Shepherd reports like you have, I’m thinking if anyone can look at the side-effects of the serum and tell us whether or not they match what was done to the prisoners, then –”

“Right,” Alex shut his eyes, not wanting to hear any more about Project Shepherd and the horrible things they’d done. All the things that Michael was still punishing him for by keeping a distance. “I’m on my way.”

Alex did not move for several long minutes, staring instead at the duffel bag. He probably should’ve taken it and left, but hope was annoying that way, and even though a part of him still clung to the idea that he and Michael would end up together, the bigger part growled that if it was going to take this long, and force Alex to endure seeing Michael with anybody else for even a second, then maybe eventually ending up together just wasn’t worth it.

When he finally got to Michael’s bunker, he couldn’t help but remember when Michael had locked that door behind Alex the last time they’d argued in there. Michael never chased after him, and he was just so sick of waiting for him to do it.

He groaned inwardly and rubbed his eyes. Seriously, he thought. What was wrong with him today? He should just be glad the airstream was back in the junkyard. It had gotten really difficult avoiding the Wild Pony for a while.

He made it down the ladder easily enough, and tossed his backpack on the table next to where Michael was working. Michael looked up at him through his glasses and tilted his chin up in silent greeting. Alex was too tired to pretend like that was remotely satisfying, and without responding turned to Liz.

“Hey,” Liz said happily.

“Hi,” Alex crossed his arms. “What’d you want me to take a look at?”

“Well,” Liz handed him some reports, “we wrote down all of the results of the serum.”

“On whom, may I ask?” Alex raised his brow as he took them. “Who was your test subject this time? Max again?”

Instead of answering, Liz’s eyes traveled over to Michael who, until Alex turned to look at him, had been staring at Alex with a pinch in his brows. Alex’s shoulders sagged.

“Tell me you didn’t.”

He shrugged, his smirk humorless. His mask was up again. “We had to get results quick and I was already here.”

“I told you I didn’t want you being experimented on,” Alex argued.

“Mom did it,” he said. “Guess I wanted to see what the big deal was.”

Alex tensed, and Michael’s smirk fell away.

“Yeah, okay.” He took the last of the files and turned to leave.

“Alex, w-wait –”

“Do whatever you want, Guerin,” Alex said. “I’m done trying to talk you down.”

“Alex, come on!” But it was too late. Alex had made it up the ladder and patted his clothes down, heading over to his car. His jaw was clenched and his eyes burned and a suffocating weight sat on his chest, but he walked ahead.

Of course. Of course, Michael would ignore his concerns, of course he’d want to show Alex just how little value his words carried. You’re not her, so I don’t care what you ask me to do. You don’t matter as much as she did, so I don’t care if you worry. You’re not worth trying for, why would you be worth listening to?

“Stop, Private!” Michael caught his arm and turned him around. He still had his glasses on, but he was panting. Eager to ease his guilt, Alex knew, nothing more. When he saw Alex’s face, his own fell. “Are you – are you crying?”

“No,” Alex turned away, wiping his face furiously. Michael stood there, eyes wide, like he never expected to see Alex cry. Oh screw it. “Yes!” Another tear fell, and he didn’t bother wiping it away. “Okay? Yes, I’m crying.”

“B-Because I took a needle?”

“Oh, Guerin, no, it’s not just because of that!” He paced to the end of the airstream and back, then again. He looked up at Michael’s house, and couldn’t help but remember the way it sat so close to the Wild Pony. Because Michael just had to be close to Maria. Alex couldn’t remember Michael ever so much as following him two feet, but he followed Maria?

He came back to stand in front of Michael, his breaths short and painful. “I’ve had a bag ready since I found your damn airstream at the Wild Pony parking lot. I was going to go, and I wasn’t going to come back. I’ve had it ready since you started dating Maria, since Forrest and I broke up, and I still can’t bring myself to just take it and go. I was terrified something would happen to you if you put that damn crap in your veins, and I didn’t want you to end up like the prisoners in Caulfield. You ignored the one thing I asked you to do with a smile on your face like you think it’s funny that I’m scared, and I still can’t just pick up that stupid bag. It’s unfair, Guerin!”

His lower lip trembled, and he looked away, covering his eyes with his hand. “You can move on and love someone else so freaking easily, and I can’t, and it’s so unfair.”

They stood there for a long time, nothing but the wind whistling in their ears and Alex’s quiet cries. Liz seemed to have the good sense to stay in the bunker. Then Michael suddenly came up behind Alex, and wrapped his arms around him tightly.

“Baby,” Michael breathed against the shell of his ear. “I – I didn’t know, Alex,” he whispered, his voice full of pain. “I thought you didn’t care, I thought you wanted me to stay away. I – I was just holding onto easy, no one ever came close to you. I swear, I thought you didn’t want me anymore . . .”

Alex tried to process all of that. Michael sounded sincere, though maybe that was only because Maria had been the one to end things. That’s right, a bitter voice sounded. She ended things. Not him. After he told her he loved her. Then she ended it.

It occurred to Alex then that maybe Michael was holding onto him for a completely different reason.

A disbelieving, miserable chuckle left his lips, and Michael faltered. Alex brought Michael’s hands down. “Just stop it, Guerin,” he said hoarsely, his throat raw. “I already gave you my word that I’d help, I’m not going to stop just because I’m frustrated.” He shook his head, already walking back to his car. He had to get out of here. “You don’t have to pretend to care about me anymore. You’ll still get what you want.”

Before Alex could take in Michael’s shattered expression or read into it, he got in his car, turned it on, and drove away, needing to put as much distance between the man he loved and himself.

Alex woke slowly to the sun just rising. He was surprised he’d made it up so late, but after working through the files last night, he’d passed out just at sunset. He supposed misery, anguish, and a couple of nights of no sleep in a row really put a person out.

He spotted the files on his desk and laid sideways on his bed for a while. He didn’t think he could get back into the nightmares of his family’s past before a good cup of coffee. He stuffed half his face into his pillow and thought of his conversation yesterday with Michael, how unwilling he’d been to eat or drink or do much of anything besides get to work and be useful afterwards. The memory robbed him of even his comfort in bed.

He forced himself up, and when he was washing up in the bathroom, he thought he heard a rustling somewhere outside, but when he turned the faucet off and listened, he didn’t hear anything. Deciding his exhaustion might be making him imagine things that weren’t there, Alex finished up, grabbed his crutches, and made himself a steaming cup of coffee.

He sat down on his couch and rested back, staring at the ceiling. Once again, his eyes fell to the duffel bag halfway hidden. He imagined, yet again, grabbing it now, getting in his car, and driving away without ever coming back. The thought did not make any part of him any happier than he felt now.

There was nothing but the tree branches rustling in the wind, the birds chirping to one another at the morning sun, wheels on gravel in his backyard –

Alex faltered in his thoughts and picked his head up, his brows pinched. He listened closely, and this time, there was no mistaking it; there was someone in his backyard.

“What the hell?” he murmured and set his coffee cup down before grabbing his crutches. He stepped into his backyard, not knowing what he would find (after all, Roswell was a small town, and people were usually good about not bothering military around here), and stopped.

There, behind his circular tables and chairs, was Michael’s airstream. Michael stepped out, wiping his hands on a towel, and smiled at Alex.

He came to stand a foot away from him, his hands twitching at his sides as if eager to reach out and touch. “Can I kiss you good morning?”

Instead of answering, Alex asked, “Guerin, what is this?”

Michael’s smile widened, and he took that as the permission he needed before he closed the distance between them, taking Alex’s face in his hands and kissing his lips both deeply and softly at the same time. He pulled away with a deep sigh, pressing their foreheads together, his eyes closed, as if he could finally breathe.

“I love you,” he whispered, letting his hands fall down Alex’s neck, his shoulders, his arms, and staying on his waist, gripping tightly. “I missed you so much.”

Alex’s eyes started to flutter, but before he could fall into whatever wonderland being around Michael pulled him into, he swallowed and took a step back.

“Why’s your trailer here?” he asked. “What’s going on?”

Michael looked like he hated the distance between them just as much as Alex did, the mask of humor and indifference he usually wore completely gone.

“After Forrest,” he said, “I thought . . . I thought you were better off without me. I thought you wouldn’t want me when you’d already had someone . . . better.” He came closer to Alex, pleading with him to understand. “Alex, I thought you wanted me to stay away. And I was so terrified that I would get too close, and you would hate me, and tell me to leave and not come back. So I stayed a safe distance, and I hated every second of it.”

Alex shook his head. “Why?” he said, his voice breaking despite himself. “Why’d you try so hard for her?”

“It wasn’t for her,” Michael urged. “It was for me. I needed . . . easy. I needed not that bad. I had no idea what I was doing, I acted like Max, I . . .” he shook his head. “Private, I don’t even know who that person was. The only time I felt like myself, like I could actually be myself and still be loved was when I was with you.”

Michael huffed a shaky chuckle, and roughly wiped his face with one hand. “Besides,” he said, “I left that parking lot the next day.” He looked over his shoulder at his airstream as it sat beside Alex’s things, and smiled with such sincerity that Alex hadn’t seen on his face in too long. He looked back at Alex with bright eyes. “But I think this looks good here. Don’t you?”

Alex looked from the airstream to Michael, and he huffed a chuckle. A tear rolled down his cheek, and he sniffed and wiped it away. “I just needed you to show up at my front door.”

Michael laughed, pulling Alex in against him and hugging him tightly. As he buried his face in the crook of Alex’s neck, Alex took his chance to press his face to Michael’s shoulder and inhale his scent.

“I want to do more than show up,” Michael said against his skin. “I want to stay, Alex. I want to stay, please let me stay.”

Alex hugged Michael so closely that nothing could’ve fit between their bodies. He felt Michael’s heart race, Michael’s lips against his neck, Michael whimpering under his breath as he desperately pulled them closer and closer together.

Alex whispered, “Stay, Guerin. I want you to stay.”

***

If you enjoyed reading, even just a little bit, please comment and share/reblog, it always makes the world of a difference ❤

#alex manes #michael guerin #malex #malex fic #malex fanfic #malex fanfiction #roswell new mexico #roswell nm #malex angst #malex fluff #tyler blackburn #michael vlamis

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the-goddess-of-mischief-writing · 3 years

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Buxom beauty

Oneshot summary; You struggle, as an overweight and taller than average woman, to find the beauty in yourself. However, Loki there to make you understood just how worthy and magnificent you truly are.

Pairing: Loki x reader

Rating: Mature

CHAPTER NO/ONESHOT: Oneshot

Word; 2.900

Warnings; will say triggering themes ( e.x serious self-doubt) even if it may not be the case, maybe som angst

Author; @the-goddess-of-mischief-writing

A/N: So a little mid-week surprise everyone! This fic is per request from a user on my AO3 account following their lines of: “Could you possibly do one where reader is tall for a woman but also overweight? She struggles with seeing herself as worthy or beautiful but Loki is tryna make her see herself the way he sees her in his own special way?? Please can you do this?” It started out as a drabble and an hour later it was all of a sudden a whole ass fic. Tbh I’m not even gonna apologise this time.

Your eyes were levelled with the upper edge of the mirror. Although you didn't concentrate on how the top of your head didn't really fit into the reflected image unless you took a few steps back. Instead, your eyes followed the soft curves running along the sharp edges of the mirror.

It was soft. No, you were soft in places which the majority of women perhaps not were. Rather than resemble the figure of the mirror before you, which was slim and narrow. Your body was an even curve all the way from your busts to thighs. Though depending on how you shifted your weight, it could also become uneven. Despite how it looked, some places were more generous than others in exceeding the public image of how you should look.

When you turned to the side, your head stayed twisted towards your figure. Your outline wasn't straight. Nor descending into a slender point of which your feet was the tip. It was like a wave, rising in places and lowering in others. And much like that movement of water, your body didn't have any sharp edges. It was simply soft and natural-looking.

You closed your eyes, turning back to fully face the mirror. However, as you started to walk backwards, you didn't re-open them. Purely because you didn't need to look to know there was no gap between your thighs. Neither how no trained illusion of abs existed as an outline under the shirt you wore. Nor how the fabric covering you followed the curve of your chest rather than fell in drapes.

Not until you had shuffled about a foot and a half backwards, enough so that you knew all of you fit in the length of the mirror, did you open your eyes.

You saw the tiredness in the eyes staring back at you. It was a tiredness of trying to make yourself look another way, tiredness to view yourself as enough. Only if you realised and found yourself in the fact that you wouldn't look any other way and that you didn't always need to be enough, maybe that exhaustion would disappear.

A sigh left you while you closed the dresser door to hide the cursed mirror. It was with the same force as you'd done earlier today when you had shut the locker door in the gym without even putting anything in there, choosing to just head back home instead.

You'd wanted to be there at first. But, discouraged by the little mirror in the changing room and the glances received from the already remarkably trained people working out, you suddenly didn't.

You still contemplated the choice. Because you shouldn't have chickened out so quickly. However, home meant that you only were aware of your own intrusive thought, rather than everyone else's judgement too.

Since this morning, your head had felt heavy with thoughts. Throughout the day, though, it had only gotten worse.

It felt like even though you rested, the little voice telling you you should do something was there. Yet, every time you did something, the other voice, the one telling you to stop trying, also whispered in your ear. This was a day you listened to the second, exemplified by your action of fleeing the gym.

So, ever since returning from the short trip outside, you hadn't done much more than lounge around in the apartment you shared with Loki.

The raven god was, for the moment, on yet another mission with the team. Though he'd told you that he wouldn't be gone for more than three days, you hadn't gotten to know much else of the mission. And despite you felt worried every now or then about the lack of information, it was fine. Because early on in your relationship, Loki said he never would hide anything from you if you asked, but he preferred to keep his work and private life as separate as possible.

You respected and understood that. So most times, you settled with the little pieces of information he willingly gave you. Primarily because you could sense his nerves anyway and know how serious the mission was from that. This time around, however, Loki hadn't been worried about the mission, so neither did you feel like you had a reason you should.

Although now, worried or not, you wished he wasn't away on a mission at all. Instead, at home with you.

You would've made the most out of the day, despite how you felt, if Loki was here. Maybe you would've watched some movies, gone out on a walk, or perhaps cook together. It was mundane activities but still things both of you enjoyed. Now though, the only representation of your mischievous partner was his shirt.

You'd nabbed it from Loki's side of the closet in an attempt to calm yourself down from the scent still lingering in the fabric. Only that it resulted in a critical try.

Because not only did it remind you too much of the warmth and presence of him, which made you miss him even more. It had also become the cause of you suddenly staring in the dresser mirror and becoming ever more conscious about yourself.

You hadn't only thought back on the day while standing there, but also the way his shirt fits you. It didn't hang down to your knees, not even the middle of your thighs. It ended halfway over your bottom, like your own shirt with an inch or two added. Thus, if you hadn't worn any tights, you would've walked around just as exposed as if you had worn one of your own shirts.

Even now, when heading from the living room to the kitchen, you looked down at where the shirt ended. The edge brushed along the very top of your thighs. You tried pulling it down a bit, but the fabric simply inched upwards again, making your brows furrow and lips purse.

That was until you heard something.

Your expression changed so that your eyebrows raised and eyes sought out the front-door from which the sound of a lock opening came from. You hadn't made plans with any friends today. Even if you had, they should've knocked, seeing how none of them had a key to your place.

The second you started to worry that it was a break-in, you saw a silhouette you recognised all too well. It was clad in green and gold. The raven hair that touched the tops of his shoulders, nearly blended in with the darker details of the clothing. You started to move before even registering anything more of Loki.

It was with mere moments to spare you noticed the emerald shimmer surround him and remove the armoured parts of his attire before you crashed into his chest.

A little ouf left the god, as he didn't expect the welcoming he got. But that didn't matter, as your arms encircled his neck instinctively. Unable to do anything else than simply stay put a few steps into the foyer, Loki encircled your waist with his arms, face boring into your neck as yours already had done in his.

"You said you wouldn't be home until tomorrow", you mumbled. Knowing he'd heard what you said from the little kiss he gave the side of your neck.

"Well, you know how my brother is, ever as impatient. Sometimes for the better and other times worse, thankfully this time was not the latter", Loki pulled his head out of the crook in your neck to look at you, consequently making you do the same. "Hopefully, you do not mind?"

"Definitely not", you thought you'd said it casually, but the way the raven-haired god tipped his head inclined you hadn't.

"Something wrong, darling?" You gave him a smile and shook your head as you said 'no' while stepping out of his arms. If you would've guessed, you supposed it was the way you retracted from Loki's touch that gave him more than a feeling that you'd lied.

"If there's something wrong, you can tell me", that he even said this made you understand he was aware that you weren't ok. Nevertheless, you saw the exhaustion in his eyes by being away on a mission with the team. He may have been recruited to the Avengers by his brother, rather unwillingly one may add, on the basis that the god of thunder could keep a watchful eye over his brother that way, though he by now had accepted the fact he wouldn't leave.

Yet simply because of this, or that he was a god, didn't mean Loki didn't get tired from the countless missions he was assigned. And it was because of this, you didn't want to burden him with what had weighed you down this whole day.

"I know, Loki", you turned then, starting to head towards your shared bedroom and the bathroom that connected to it to run a bath. However, you weren't even able to suggest that before a hand shot out and wrapped itself around your wrist.

It was enough to make you glance over your shoulder with a raised brow, but not enough to hurt.

"I can see something isn't right and that you feel like you can't tell me", your lip caught between your teeth at the pleading way the raven-haired god looked at you. Still, you didn't say anything, now concerned he would find your worry silly. "Darling, please".

"I-I... why do you want to know? You must be exhausted, go take a shower, or I can tap up a bath for us", you tried smiling to convince him he should think about himself before considering you. Yet, it seemed Loki was as persistent as you at the moment.

"Not until you tell me what's on your mind", he took a step closer, now tugging lightly at where he held your arm so you would turn to him.

"It's n...".

"Do not tell me it is nothing. If not because I am the god of lies, then because I am your lover", he cut off the half-ass excuse you'd tried to use and continued to look at you with the intent of not letting you escape with anything but the truth said. Despite he didn't know you knew you wouldn't have tried anything again, the last part of his sentence striking a nerve that made you sigh.

"This day has just been bad", you finally said. "I-I... it feels like I just need a break from my thoughts. And I know you probably need one too, regarding how messy those missions can get", the god of mischief's lip tugged upwards slightly at this.

"You, my dear, are a break from everything that ever could weigh me down".

"How can I be that", you snapped, hand tearing away from Loki's grip. You didn't know why you reacted like that all of a sudden, probably because what he said rubbed so wrong against everything you thought about yourself today. But it got even worse when you saw the slightly shocked look painting Loki's features. "There's so many more that could fulfil that", you mumbled under your breath, feeling the burn of embarrassment in your chest as you turned to head down the hall and not face him after your little outburst.

Yet you were stopped, once again, by the god when he spun you around to face him. The previous shock had now turned into a furrow between his brows.

"But I do not want more, darling, I simply want you", on good days, you may have smiled and kissed him for those words. Now you just cringed at them while trying to escape the grasp he still had on your hips.

"How could you?" You finally said when realising he wouldn't let go of you, head falling forwards to look down on the floor. "Just...just look at me compared to every other woman you meet. What do I have that they don't?"

There was a silence then, one that made you shut your eyes. You prepared to feel Loki's hands leave you where they still rested on your body, hot and anchoring, though that was not what happened. He did move, but not to take his hands off of you, nor away from you. Instead, his finger hooked under your chin.

Even though you followed his gentle encouragement to tip your head upwards, you didn't open your eyes despite feeling his gaze on you.

"Please darling, open your eyes", he didn't need to coax you any further. "There those pretty gems are", you hadn't even opened them entirely before Loki said this, instantly making you smile. Nevertheless, as if your thoughts today really didn't want you to feel happy, worthy, of his love, the corners of your mouth tipped downwards when remembering he still hadn't answered your question.

As if sensing, if not plainly seeing, the change, Loki's brows furrowed. You tried holding his gaze but felt you were unable to do so, which in the end, made you avert your eyes.

What you couldn't know was that your display had made Loki realise something did really bother you today and that the topic of the conversation held moments earlier, maybe a reflection of that.

Suddenly you felt how the touch at your left hip disappeared, to be sensed once more when it rested against your cheek. You were unable not turn towards the god of mischief with wide eyes at his gesture. However, as you once more looked at him, you saw nothing of the playfulness that often accompanied him, just a seriousness as he looked at you.

"You asked what you have compared to what others don't", he began, thumb stroking the apple of your cheek. "You have the ability to calm me like no other. You have a beauty incomparable to anyone else. You have my hearth", you felt a flutter in your chest as Loki's hand trailed from your face down to your waist, only to there pull you close to him, simply waiting for your answer.

Yet, for the moment, you were at a loss of words. Not only by what the god of mischief said. But what you realised and was constantly reminded of when being pressed against him. You'd never needed to crane your neck, nor did Loki need to bend down for the matter, to look each other in the eye.

"B-but how can I have all that?" Your voice was small as the question nearly trembled from your lips.

"Midgard is so harsh and stale that it does not care about anything more than looks. One needs to find softness and in order to do that, one needs to look further than the surface. If people simply choose to do that, they would find so many more like you", the flutter travelled further and further from your chest. Slowly like molasses, the doubt dripped off of your bones for butterflies to instead settle on them. But the dark and sticky liquid stubbornly didn't want to withdraw completely.

"Earth may be like that, Loki, but you aren't from here", you began, fingers twitching against the Asgardian attire, his signum, that he still wore. "You've told me how beautiful the eternal world is, so I know your standard of beauty, like so many other things, are so much higher than mine and everyone else's".

"Asgard is filled with beauty", the raven-haired god nodded, a smirk tugging the side of his mouth. For some reason, it made those butterflies feel like they drowned in the molasses. Because what else than far greater memories than what he's created with you could accompany such a gesture? Apparently, something entirely else, you realised as he continued. "Yet you, my darling, wouldn't fit there because your beauty out-shines all of what already exists. And do you know why none can see this? Because no-one can watch the sun for too long before getting burned".

"But you still do you", you stated incredulously. Thus why, if using Loki's own words, would he do something that hurt him. However, being ever the observant person he was, he caught your doubt. Which made him shake his head and chuckle.

"You seem to forget I am a god, no mere human or simple Asgardian", directly after he stated thus, Loki did something that made you squeal, in both surprise and worry.

His arms tightened around your waist and lifted you, high enough your feet dangled off the floor and your face was a few inches above his. You almost panicked, imagining you were too heavy for him, but you didn't find anything that displayed such strain in his face. And then any caution disappeared as he twirled you around.

A giggle fell from your lips as you felt the air around you shift with Loki's action. You felt light when nearly all thoughts from earlier seemingly were flung out of your mind and even stayed away when he gently set you down again. His firm chest still pressed into your soft one.

"Just think about it, darling, you need a god to love you for someone to find your true beauty. Does not that show how worthy of love you are if no other person can stand beside you and call you theirs", your smile didn't die down this time as you gazed at him.

"I suppose I must agree with said god", you didn't get more time to witness his smirk turn into a smile before his head tilted forward and his forehead came to rest against yours.

"You never must, but oh how honoured I would be if you did".

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thisisarcanereverie · 3 years

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Should’ve Known Chapter 4.

Hey, so originally I was planning on skipping this episode in WandaVision and get straight into the 70′s, however, after re-watching the episode I thought to myself, maybe this episode would be useful in what I have planned for that chapter. Also again, thank you for all the love and support you show when I post. It really helps me write, especially when you leave a reply one what you liked or suspect from this chapter or other chapters. It really makes my day and it makes it easier to write knowing others are willing to read it.

I’m trying my best to write as much as I can while i’m still motivated, updates really could be anywhere from a day or a few hours apart at this point. Honestly I only started writing fanfiction again to help me start writing in general since I’ve been writing a book for the past few months and I’ve hit a road block. Writing this helps and plus it’s fun for me to write fanfiction like this.

Also I did write this based loosely on what I imagined the residents of Westview must have felt like living day upon day. Also a little on Doctor Who, specifically the “Silence in the Library” and “Forest of the Dead” When Donna was trapped and sort of lived like she was in a show.

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own Wanda or Steve they are owned by Marvel, I don’t own the gif either I just got it from Pinterest, also I’m really tired so any mistakes or stuff that doesn’t make sense that’s on me.

WARNINGS:Angst, Swearing, the stages of grief, loss, dark themes, 18 + from here on out.

WORDS : 2,040

SUMMARY: Feelings of unease continue to rise as you begin to know Wanda and start to be wary of Agnes....and of Steve.

You could have sworn you and Steve were just having dinner, the thought of food caused your stomach to turn. You wished for the life of you to know what was ailing you so you could take some medicine. You would have to make an appointment with the doctor but for now you had to continue the day. You gently rose from the bed so as to not disturb your sleeping husband.

Husband.

Something about that felt wrong to you.

You shook off the feeling before finally getting ready for the day.

When the thought of what to wear came to mind you suddenly found yourself all ready dressed with your hair and makeup done.

You wore a cardigan sweater over your short sleeved blouse and plain skirt. Your hair was neatly done, curling slightly around the edges with a flower barrette in your hair. You looked good, however, how good you looked was the last thing on your mind. You instantly became confused and your head began to ache. How did you get dressed so quickly? Where did the clothes come from?

As soon as all those thoughts appeared, they vanished upon hearing your husband's voice calling your name. Suddenly you wondered what you were even thinking about.

“Doll are you ready to rehearse?” Steve’s voice carried out, seemingly echoing off the walls.

“What are we rehearsing for again honey?” you asked, your heels clicked against the wooden stairs as you made your way down.

It was only when you saw Steve did you realize something was seriously off.

It looked as though someone had renovated your house as you had slept, there was new furniture and wallpaper. The kitchen was now at the opposite side of the house. Even the stairs were new, from bannister to the steps themselves. You don’t know why you hadn’t noticed before.

“Doll don’t tell me you forgot,” he teased you, you rolled your eyes refusing to admit that you may or may not have forgotten something.

“Of course I haven’t forgotten,” you lied, “I’m making sure you remember.”

“So you remember then, is that correct.”

“Yes.”

“So tell me what we’re rehearsing for then.”

“No.”

You could feel his eye roll as you made your way to the kitchen, you were suddenly starving. Steve had followed you to the kitchen where you quickly made yourself a sandwich.

“It’s the Annual Talent Show Fundraiser for the local school,” Steve said “it’s your favorite event in the season.” His eyes searched you in concern. You don’t remember there ever being an Annual Talent Show Fundraiser in Westview. Thinking about it you don’t really remember anything abou-

“Of course it is honey,” you smiled at him, “I was just keeping you on your toes.” you brought your pointer finger to his nose and bopped him lightly, you and him smiling all the while you both leaned on opposite sides of the kitchen counters.

“Are we still going for that strength test this year?”

You nodded excitedly, you were never one for muscles, however, when your husband lifts hundreds of pounds over his head (or yourself for that matter) it had you all giddy with excitement.

“Anything for me to bring out the big guns huh.” Steve teased face leaning closer to yours, you leaned in closer noses touching. “Naturally.” you replied, finally closing the gap and kissing him.

You suddenly find yourself with Dottie and the rest of her Ladies in Hating sitting by the pool. When you realized you were seated next to Agnes you stiffened. You barely heard a word Bev was saying, it took most of your control not to switch seats with someone, anyone, so long as it got you away from Agnes. You pretended to listen to Bev talk about her store when you noticed Agnes looking at you through the side of her eye. It nearly made you jump out of your skin.

You quickly tore your gaze from Agnes and to the person on her right, Wanda.

You were greeted with Wanda looking at Dotty instantly, seemingly trying to mimic Dotty in how she presented herself, which you thought silly.

Wanda was far more charming than Dotty anyways.

Why were you so sure about that?

You switched back and forth between watching Dotty and watching Wanda who seemed to have made a new friend with Geraldine next to her.

There was something off about her as well.

You find yourself helping Dotty and Wanda with cleaning up after the meeting. Wanda was picking up the trays of the barely eaten cookies and desserts that Dotty had ordered, while you were busy stacking plates and cups. The radio was playing something light, which was more than you could say for Dotty. She was just “supervising” to make sure things went accordingly.

Both you and Wanda made faces behind her back and tried your best to keep your laughter among yourselves. Although you have only known Wanda for a few months (although it feels like you met her only yesterday but it also feels like you’ve known her for longer.) you immediately became fast friends.

“Thank you Dotty for choosing (Y/n) and I to help you clean up today we feel so lucky.” Wanda thanked Dotty, a kind smile adorned on her face.

“You are.”

As you and Wanda turned your backs to Dotty you both stuck out your tongues at each other. Playfulness in each other's eyes. You both turned back to Dotty you had adjusted herself in her seat.

“I can’t help but wonder if you and I haven’t gotten off on the wrong foot Dotty and I would like to correct that if I can.” Wanda said, her smile a little forced but still pretty.

“And how would you do that.” Dotty stated, her eyes glaring holes into Wanda. It was almost like you weren’t there. Wanda fidgeted with her hands and brushed away a stray hair that had fallen out of place.

Dotty stood up from her chair and made her way to where you and her stood.

“I’ve heard things about you,” she stated her eyes then darted your way, “and about you too, don’t think I’ve forgotten that you’re here.”

Dotty’s heels clicked as she advanced, almost like a tiger stalking their prey, and you had the feeling you and Wanda were two very unfortunate monkeys.

“You and your husbands.”

That word still felt wrong to you.

You weren’t even focusing on Wanda or Dotty anymore as you began to notice how the radio had stopped it’s tune, the crackling of the device overcoming the music and then you hear it.

“Wanda, (Y/n) do you read me over.” it was a male voice, crackling, breaking in and out.

Why was he calling for you and Wanda?

“Who is that?” You heard Dotty’s voice shake, you tore your eyes away from the gray radio and to the light haired lady in front of you. Her eyes were wide with confusion, all tiger energy faded and what was left was a frightened woman.

She was trembling.

Her eyes went from the radio to look at you and Wanda, her eyes widened.

“Who are you?” her voice shakes.

The man speaks again and you immediately tear your focus away from Dotty and to the radio again.

“Wanda....(Y/n).....Who’s doing this to you Wanda....(Y/n).....Wanda....(Y/n).....Wanda” then as if a spell had been broken the radio blew up, shocking Wanda and Dotty, Dotty shattering the glass in her hand.

Red

You had forgotten what other colors had looked like so seeing red was a change that left you speechless. After stuttering for a few seconds Wanda went to grab Dotty a washcloth.

You kinda block the rest of it out, instead you stare off into the distance.

Where Agnes stood watching.

You paced backstage with Wanda, frantically waiting for your husbands to arrive. You and Steve were to go after Wanda and Vision. You tried your best to calm your erratic heart. Wanda looked breathtaking in her magician's assistant outfit and your eyes kept wandering back to her...Now wasn’t the time to question any of the thoughts running through your mind.

Steve and Vision were late, Steve was a part of the neighborhood watch and went to the meeting today, apparently Wanda’s husband had done the same. Geraldine was backstage with you trying her best to keep the both of you calm, which even on a good day was nearly impossible.

Finally you spotted your husbands together, one of Visions arms around Steve’s shoulders seemingly leaning on him for support while your husband seemed to be helping him walk.

“Steve honey what happened,” you ask immediately, upon dashing to your husband Wanda instantly went to check on Vision.

“I don’t know doll but I don’t think Vision is able to perform.” He answered, gesturing to the flampent behavior of the otherwise reserved man. Wanda looked at Steve and it broke your heart to see her eyes well up with a disappointed expression.

You had a feeling you were going to regret what you were about to do.

You immediately turned to Wanda, grabbing her hands out of what felt like instinct and grabbed her attention.

“Wanda how do you feel about doing the Talent Show with me?” You asked, hopeful. You could tell she wanted to, her eyes lighting up at the mention of doing the Talent Show afterall, but immediately looked at Vision with concern.

“Who would take care of Vision?”

‘I would,” Steve answered, Wanda looked at him with apprehension,

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely you girls kick ass out there.”

You and her immediately looked at each other in excitement. You two immediately went to figure out whose routine you were going to perform, quickly settling on Wanda and Vision magic act.

Instead of the magicians assistant she would take place as the magician while you took her place. Next was to figure out your stage name, once again Wanda quickly settling on her keeping Glamour and you sticking with Mirage. Finally she ran the whole act with you and by the time you were done planning the previous act was up and now it was your turn.

“And now for our final act I give you, Wanda and (Y/n)” After Dotty’s introduction your performance ran overall smoothly, Wanda being shockingly good at close up magic and illusions.

That was until suddenly Senior Scratchy decided to turn the magic act into an escape act. A powerful gust had knocked Wanda’s magicians hat off her head and you felt the terrible pit in your gut worsen. Looking to the crowd you thought you had seen something colorful, like the red you saw before.

Before what?

Wait....how could you forget that?

Your eyes immediately darted to Dotty and saw her seemingly unfazed of what happened prior to the Talent Show. How could she be fine? She didn’t know who you were, how could she not have known who you were?

You turn to Agnes, her eyes narrowing on your figure.

You and Wanda won the best magic show award at the Talent Show, you insisted Wanda keep it since it was her act, you had merely assisted her. You and Wanda immediately made plans for you to host that dinner you were talking about months ago, tomorrow.

Steve congratulated you on a show well done and that if you ever felt the need to get magical in the bedroom he wouldn’t mind being your assistant there either.

Upon returning home Steve immediately booked it for the shower, claiming that taking care of Vision was no easy feat. You laughed him off and went upstairs to your shared bedroom to get ready for the night. There was no need to cook dinner since you and him ate out.

You were so tired that you almost didn’t notice the world around you changing colors.

Or a familiar leather bound notebook on the bed.

Almost.

After getting used to the newly found colors around you, you immediately opened the notebook noticing how old it was, and in semi faded ink on the first page read.

“Property of Captain Steven G. Rodgers (Captain America).”

#i need sleep #fanfiction #x reader #steve rodgers x you #steve rodgers #steve rodgers imagine #wanda marvel #wanda maximoff #wandavision #vision #I am really tired #probably going to regret posting this tomorrow #marvel x reader #marvel #infinity war #end game #disney

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chrwrites · 3 years

Text

Bad Ideas - Chapter 2: “The first round is free for a lovely couple like you!”

For @astronavigatrix. Sorry I’m so late with the update, hope you like it!

Ch 1

read on ao3

Luka sighed a breath of relief as he found his seat on the train, and smile settled on his face as he watched the city fade into the distance. He closed his eyes, finally allowing himself to relax.

He was going home.

Exam season was over, and now that he was done with the first year of university, Luka felt like he could breathe again. He still had to wait to get the results, but he could let the nightmare the last weeks had been behind and focus on the familiar warmth that being back in Paris brought instead.

He had been looking forward to staying in the city for more than two days and finally see his friends in a better setting than a rushed meeting, especially Marinette. They did keep in touch while he was away, but it wasn’t the same as seeing each other in person and hanging out like they used to do, not to mention that they barely managed to meet during the short periods of time Luka was back because of Marinette’s busy schedule.

It was rare for them to spend a whole afternoon together, still, Marinette always made sure to be at the train station to say goodbye to him in person. Even when he had to leave early in the morning, she would be there to send him off with a tight hug and fresh out of the oven croissants, “In case you get hungry,” she’d say.

He knew he wouldn't find Marinette welcoming him at Gare de Lyon when he arrived, but he would see her the next day. For now, he was content with seeing his Ma and Juleka waiting for him when he stepped off the train. How long had it been since he last was home? Two months? Juleka didn’t even grumble as he hugged her.

The first thing Luka heard as he got off the car with his sister and Rose was a familiar, happy gasp whose owner he'd have recognised everywhere. He couldn’t hold back the smile curling his lips as he turned to the source of the sound, Marinette’s figure was running towards him in the half empty parking lot and he opened his arms to welcome her.

"I missed you so much!" Marinette’s cheery tone was muffled on his chest, and in answer Luka held her tighter, "I missed you, too," he whispered, his voice thick with an emotion he didn't dare to define.

After Marinette let go of his embrace, Luka tried his best to ignore the sudden cold lingering on his skin and greeted the rest of his and Juleka’s friends before they all headed inside the Jardins de Tuileries.

It didn't take long for the group to split up, everyone eager to try different attractions of the carnival fair first, and Luka and Marinette ended up wandering around the park by themselves.

He listened intently to Marinette rambling about this new fashion course she was taking during the summer, smiling at the enthusiasm clear in her voice and indulging in staring at her for longer than he should have. He couldn’t help but feel drawn to her sweet features despite knowing he shouldn’t have thought about her that way. That was part of the reason he decided to leave Paris after all, to clear his mind and come back not thinking about wanting his friend (and his sister’s friend, for goodness sake) to be something more than that.

"I don't understand why you didn't stay in Paris," Marinette said suddenly, interrupting Luka’s stream of thoughts. He sighed, taking some time to think about the answer.

"I figured it was time for Jules to have the room to herself," he shrugged, his hands sliding into the pockets of his jeans.

Marinette let out a quiet giggle, "Right, but Montpellier is pretty far!" she pouted.

"It takes only three hours to get there with a TGV. Plus, it's unbelievably quiet for a city, and it's only one train stop away from the seaside," Luka said.

Marinette frowned, "Wait— are you telling me that you picked Montpellier because it's close to the sea?”

"... maybe?" Luka shrugged, "I mean, there's also a pretty good university, but you're right. That definitely comes second."

Marinette laughed and shook her head in disbelief, “I don’t even know why I’m surprised, I wouldn’t expect anything less from you!”

There was a moment of silence after that, and Luka's unashamed smile faded as they walked further into the park.

“Do you like it there?” Marinette’s question was unexpected, and Luka hesitated for a second. You're not there.

He shook the thought out of his mind and let out a deep breath before speaking, "Yes, I really like it there. You should come visit me sometime,” he said.

"I’d love to, but I’ll have to find the time for that.”

When Luka nodded in understanding, Marinette added, “See, that’s why you should’ve picked somewhere closer. We could see each other more often!” she teased, bumping her shoulder against his. Luka sighed and before he could answer, Marinette spoke again, suddenly looking serious.

"You know…”, she paused and started fiddling with her bracelet. Only then Luka noticed that she was playing with a small cherry blossom charm, the one he’d gotten for her birthday. He had it delivered since he couldn’t be in Paris that day and he had never seen her wearing it until now. Marinette let go of the bracelet, her arm stilling by her side as she turned to face him.

“It's weird not seeing you on board of the Liberty when I come over," she admitted.

Luka looked down at his feet, one hand going to rub the back of his neck in an attempt to ease the sudden change of pace of his heart, and offered Marinette a bashful smile only when he was sure that his heart wasn't going to jump out of his chest because of the way she was looking at him.

What was happening to him? It's not like he didn't know that Marinette missed him. He knew that, and he missed her too, as much as he missed the blissful afternoons she stayed at the Liberty after band practice, when he would provide a soundtrack to her sketching and she’d end up spending more time talking to him than actually getting her work done. That was probably what he missed the most. But how was he supposed to tell her that when his stomach had started twisting and his hands were sweating?

Maybe he just wasn't used to seeing her that often anymore, things would get back to normal for him now that they could see each other without longing for the next time they would meet again. It’s not like Marinette saying that she was his girlfriend that one time still lingered on him sometimes and he couldn't shake that off.

He took a deep breath, finally facing Marinette and ready to tell her how cute it was that she missed him and how he wished to–

“Do you want to have a go with the Balloon Pop game?” a woman was waving in their direction, a happy welcoming smile on her face as she gestured at the small balloons behind her.

Luka let out a sigh of relief and felt his shoulders relax, thankful for that woman saving him from saying stuff he would have probably regretted.

“The first round is free for a lovely couple like you!” the woman continued.

Actually, forget that.

Marinette giggled at the comment and wrapped her hand around his wrist to pull him towards the stand, and Luka’s feet shuffled against his will, “Marinette…” he protested weakly when he found himself in front of the stand.

“You have to pop at least four balloons to get one prize for your girlfriend”, the woman said.

Luka felt his throat go dry, his brain struggled to get his mouth to move, “I–I'm not– She's–”

“Aw, Lu, come on! We haven’t tried anything yet!” Marinette said cheerfully, her hand wrapping around his arm as she looked at the exposed prizes. She pointed at a teal stuffed snake with huge pink eyes that was standing on the top shelf, “I want that one!”

Luka’s mouth twisted, and Marinette blinked at the confused frown forming on his face. She raised her index to smooth the crease between his eyebrows before pouting, "Please?"

Luka sighed, shaking his head before giving in, "Alright," he said, leaning to the counter.

The woman handed him five darts and winked at him. Luka focused on the target and held his breath until he heard the sound of the first balloon popping and Marinette's happy cheer. He couldn't help the grin spreading on his face, his stomach twisting in an unusually pleasant way. He was happy that she was cheering on him, and that made him only more determined.

He threw the other two darts without much effort and, incredibly enough, both times he managed to make the balloons pop. But when Marinette brushed his arm to soothe his tense muscles, he got distracted and the dart landed right next to the balloon it was supposed to hit.

"Not fair, you've distracted me", he teased, making Marinette roll her eyes and take a step away from him, raising her hands in defeat.

Luka steadied himself, he couldn’t miss his target now. Not when he was almost there, not when that would make Marinette happy. He threw the dart, and heard the last balloon popping instead of watching it. Marinette gasped, but soon enough she was squealing by his side, "I know you could do it!"

The woman at the stand applauded, surprise clear on her face, "Congratulations!" she said, handing the small snake to Marinette, who squeezed it closer to her as she leaned on her tiptoes to give Luka a quick kiss on the cheek, “Thank you!”

That had him smiling like a fool for the rest of the day. Soon after they left the stand and walked further into the park, Marinette sighed, “I can't believe that woman thought we were dating.”

Luka shook his head, “I can't believe that you went on with that anyway.”

“Excuse me?” Marinette asked, raising her head to better look at him, “She said it was free for couples, and this – she proudly held the snake up to his face – was too cute to be left there.”

“I’m just impressed that you can’t lie to save your life but apparently you don’t have any problem when it comes to cute stuffed animals."

“Well, cute animals are worth it," Marinette said, "Besides, these stands are overpriced and rigged. I’m surprised you actually managed to win this without needing a second chance."

Luka giggled, "What can I say, I'm a man of many talents."

They basked in the sun, casually strolling around the park and trying the different attractions. When they got tired of wandering around, they stopped to get some ice cream and rested in the shade of a tree.

The sun flickered on Marinette's midnight hair as she gesticulated about something that had happened at the bakery the previous morning, and Luka tried really hard to focus on what she was saying instead of the way her lips moved or how her hands floated in the air, but no matter how hard he tried, he ended up getting lost in her sweet features, her voice was dimmed down by the sound his heart thundering in his chest.

Stupid, Luka.

Wasn’t that the reason he decided to get away from Paris? That way, he would be able to keep her friendship and not be tempted to blurt out his feelings or worse, tell her that he wanted her to be his girlfriend for real. He tried so hard to stop thinking about that time she came to his rescue the month before lycée was over, but that exact moment flooded his mind when he was around her and there was nothing he could do about it.

He still cared too much for her to let his stupid feelings ruin their friendship, so he did what he could and took the first chance to step back before he could do something he could regret. It was working, kind of.

The sun was low in the sky when Luka and Marinette met with the rest of their friends, the carnival attractions lit up the place in an explosion of colours and the group went on the different rides together. For the first time in a while, Luka’s mind felt light.

When Ivan suggested to go on the bumper cars and split in teams, Marinette and Luka ended up together again.

The perks of being the only singles in the group.

Marinette insisted on driving her and Luka's vehicle. She put her stuffed snake in her bag before giving it to him so he could keep it safe, its head peeking out. “Take care of it,” she said before the ride began and she steered the wheel in the direction of their friends.

She laughed when she hit Ivan and Mylene's car, and Luka felt drawn by the sound ringing in his left ear. Turning to look at her was a mistake, for the surprised gasps and the silly faces she made when someone hit their car unexpectedly made her look even cuter.

It was beautiful, seeing her happy and relaxed like that. His hands twitched on his knees, but when he found himself under the stern glare of his sister after another hit from the bumper car she was sharing with Rose, Luka gathered himself and tried his best not to focus that much on Marinette or on the way the lights of the games flickered on her pretty face.

“Ah, that was fun!” Marinette sighed happily when she sat on the passenger seat of Luka’s car, and she smiled when he asked her to pick the music as they left the parking lot. Luka ignored Juleka's inquisitive gaze coming from the backseat, engaging in a conversation with Rose about Jagged Stone’s newest single to distract himself instead.

He gave Marinette a small smile when they reached her house, and she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before saying goodnight to him, Juleka and Rose and closing the door behind her. Luka's hand tightened on the steering wheel in an useless attempt to recompose himself.

He started the car again, his eyes on the road as he steered away from the bakery, and Rose called for his attention, “Sooo… what’s going on between you and Marinette?” she asked, he could see her eyebrows rising from the rearview mirror.

“There’s nothing going on,” Luka said absently.

Juleka huffed, and Rose leaned as much as the seat belt allowed her to look at him, “I wouldn't call that nothing,” she tutted.

“What do you mean?”

“Aw, come on Lu, don’t play dumb with me! Are you two dating? Or maybe you’re just testing the waters since you can’t see each other that much and that’s fine, too. I mean, you two would be so cute together and…

“Rose…” Luka said a little breathlessly, pondering the idea of stopping the car in the middle of the road to interrupt Rose’s excited rambling, “We’ve already been through this. No.”

She didn’t seem to hear him, “… you were so cute today, I’m sure she likes you a lot, just as much as you do. Who wouldn’t like you? You’re such a gentleman, and Marinette is incredible, isn’t she? You guys are the perfect m—

“Rose!” Luka’s voice came out louder than he intended, but at least it stopped Rose from finishing the sentence. The girl blinked at him.

“Sorry,” he said, clearing his throat, “I don’t like her. Not in that way, at least.” Luka lied, hoping to sound as convinced as he wished to be.

“But… you won a stuffed animal for her!” Rose protested, “It's like one of the most romantic things ever! You don’t have to hide this from us, Lu.”

“It's not what it looks like…” Luka warned, but, again, Rose didn't seem to be interested in what he had to say, “... and then we could have double dates and we'd have so much fun!!!”

“Rose, please…” Luka sighed, but it wasn't until Juleka called her attention that the girl stopped babbling about him and Marinette together with dreamy eyes.

“Am I wrong, Jule?” Rose whined, and Juleka shook her head, “He’s just being stupid as always.”

Great, Juleka. Thank you.

“Guys,” he groaned, “I'll tell you again, Marinette and I are just friends. It's not what it looks like.”

Except he kind of wished it was.

#lukanette #endgme lukanette #pro lukamari #lbsc exchange 2021 #fic: bad ideas

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staynoonaz9290 · 3 years

Text

Chores

**I hope you like this!!**

Where Natalie injured her ankle on the beach but doesn't want to listen to Hyunjae when he tells her to stay put...

Group: The Boyz

Pairing: Hyunjae/Fem! Reader (Third Person-Natalie)

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Honestly just language - this is pretty fluffy hehe 🥰

Word Count: 1,665

Main Masterlist | The Boyz Masterlist

COMPLETE

Natalie’s fingers were intertwined with Hyunjae’s, a small smile pulling on the corners of her lips as she looked at him. He was handsome as always- staring straight ahead, hair a little windswept, skin beautiful in the glow of the setting sun…

He’d taken her to the beach today; a surprise date she hadn’t expected, giggling when he’d pulled their car into the parking lot, the grin on Hyunjae’s face telling her he was just as excited as she was.

They’d spent the day with their toes in the sand, sipping ice-cold drinks and grabbing snacks from restaurants just a few blocks away. The two of them had spent hours just talking and it reminded her how much she loved him; that they didn’t need anything but each other.

As time passed, they’d grown restless, gathering up their towels and walking just as the sun was starting to set. Many of the beachgoers surrounding them were packing their things- taking down tents, locking up coolers- and the quiet they left behind was relaxing as Natalie walked side by side with Hyunjae.

It’d been an amazing day, full of love and quality time spent together, and Natalie was feeling pretty content.

But she should’ve known things couldn’t stay romantic with her boyfriend forever.

“Hyunjae!”

Natalie was yelping, trying and failing to reach for her hat as Hyunjae plucked it from her head, a shit-eating grin on his face.

“What-?”

He shoved the pink ball-cap roughly onto his head, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I’m borrowing it.”

“Give it back!” she giggled, Hyunjae walking backwards, just out of arm’s reach. ��I need it for my hair!”

Natalie knew her hair would be a disaster in these beach winds without it.

“But I want it-”

He was still grinning, obviously enjoying himself, and when Natalie dove for him again, he hopped backward, turning on his heel in the sand.

And then he was running.

She squealed, calling his name as she tried to keep up, cursing herself for liking someone so athletic and playful- why did she like that again?- tripping too many times on the uneven sand.

“Hyunjae!” she cried again, out of breath with laughter, his own chuckles carrying to her across the beach. “You’re too fas-!”

But then Natalie was stumbling just a little too hard, her arms flying out in front of her, swirling in desperate circles as she tried to regain her balance. Her right foot was slamming hard into the sand to catch her, but she didn’t land right, feeling her ankle roll a little awkwardly, a hiss slipping from her lips at the pain.

And then she was falling to her knees, unable to find her footing, folding her leg in front of her as she inspected her right ankle. It looked fine- not broken- but she tried rotating her foot, immediately squeaking at the aching pain that shot all the way up her leg.

“Crap,” she muttered.

Natalie knew better than to run in the sand- she’d always had weak ankles, and was prone to injuring them- and should’ve been more careful.

Hyunjae realized she’d fallen behind, turning around, eyes widening in surprise when he saw her on the ground. Quickly, he headed back over, crouching down as he glanced at her ankle.

“What did you do?” he asked playfully.

But she could see the slight concern in his eyes- watched him reach out, delicately running his fingers along the injured area.

“I rolled it,” she said, a slight whine in her voice. “I landed on the sand wrong.”

Hyunjae glanced up at her before sighing in exasperation, playfully rolling his eyes.

“I can’t take you anywhere.”

But she could see the ghost of a smile on his lips.

Hyunjae helped her stand, putting her arm across his shoulders before maneuvering their bodies so she was standing behind him.

“Come on,” he was smiling at her over his shoulder. “Let’s go home.”

And as he pulled the pink hat from his head, placing it back on her own, Natalie giggled again, letting Hyunjae hoist her onto his back as she wrapped her arms gently around his neck.

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The next morning, Natalie was sitting on the couch, her leg propped on a pillow as she sipped her morning tea.

“Make sure you keep it elevated,” Hyunjae had said the night before, grabbing a pillow from the couch and tucking it beneath her foot. “The faster you heal, the faster I don’t have to take care of you.”

He was kidding of course, and Natalie rolled her eyes at the memory, remembering how sweet Hyunjae had been, bringing her a few of her favorite cookies from the cabinet before they’d settled in for a movie.

She was awake now, Hyunjae still fast asleep, and even with a book laying open on her thighs as she attempted to read, Natalie’s eyes were wandering to the kitchen. She could see the dishes in the sink- the ones Hyunjae had promised her he’d do sometime today- and spotted the laundry basket in the corner of the living room, a load she’d been meaning to run the past couple of days but hadn’t.

Natalie couldn’t help thinking about the bathroom, and how it really needed a good wipe down, and the floors that needed swept, especially near the front door with all the outside debri they were bringing in-

She sat up, closing her book and pulling her leg from the pillow, placing it gingerly on the ground.

No pain.

Natalie smiled, putting down her cup of tea and standing slowly, gently putting weight on the injured ankle.

Only a slight pinch.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” she whispered to herself, glancing nervously at the closed door of her and Hyunjae’s bedroom.

She really needed to clean, and besides…

Natalie enjoyed it.

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For the next hour, Natalie got to work, headphones in her ears, jamming to a new album she’d been meaning to listen to all week, lost in her own world with the monotony of cleaning.

As time passed, the pain in her ankle grew, going from a small pinch to a light ache, ignorable, but not all the way comfortable.

But she did her best to pretend she couldn’t feel it, enjoying herself too much, just wanting everything done.

She was in the kitchen now, her hands a little raw under the stinging hot water as she ran a sponge along the dirty pot in the sink.

“No No breathin-” she sang under her breath, dancing a little to the beat. “Nae nuni sumi-”

But the music cut short as she felt one of her headphones being pulled from her ears, yelping in surprise.

“What are you doing?”

It was Hyunjae, hair sticking up in the back, his wrinkled white shirt and pajama pants telling her he’d just gotten out of bed.

His eyebrows were raised as he held her earbud between them, staring at her.

“I was just…” she laughed nervously. “Doing some cleaning.”

“What?” he immediately motioned to her ankle. “I thought you were injured?”

“I’m fine-” she insisted, stepping back from the sink in demonstration. “See?”

But it was the wrong move- she’d been leaning mostly on the counter, and putting so much sudden weight on her ankle had Natalie wincing in pain before she could stop it.

“Go sit down.”

Hyunjae was already taking the sponge from her fingers and throwing it in the sink before placing his hands on her shoulders, guiding her gently forward.

“Hyunjae, I’m fine-” she argued, even though she knew she’d already given herself away, limping a little as she let him lead her to the couch. “I was just-”

“I will clean,” he told her, pushing on her shoulders so she was sinking into the cushions of the couch, looking down at her. “You stay sitting.”

“Hyunjae-”

“I carried you on my back all the way across the beach and now you won’t sit down-”

She giggled, watching her boyfriend sigh in dramatic annoyance as he plucked her book from the coffee table.

“Read this.”

He thrust it into her hands, eyes meeting hers.

“Don’t move.”

“What if I have to pee?” she asked playfully, unable to resist.

“Pft-”

Hyunjae was rolling his eyes with a shake of his head, already getting up and making his way to the kitchen.

“Don’t get up, Natalie.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And she didn’t.

Natalie was good, reading her book as she listened to Hyunjae flutter around the house.

She could hear him muttering under his breath sometimes about how no one picks up after themselves- making her giggle- and at one point, thought she heard broken glass from the kitchen, in which Hyunjae had yelled a quick “It’s fine!”, making her laugh once again.

Another hour had passed, and she was finishing the next chapter in her book when Hyunjae came shuffling into the room, looking a little tired.

Natalie smiled, closing her book and setting it to the side. Hyunjae came to sit beside her, absentmindedly adjusting the pillow beneath her leg so her ankle would be more elevated.

“Does it feel better?” he asked, his eyes slipping closed as his head fell back on the cushions.

“Yes,” she replied, feeling amused. “Are you okay?”

He pried an eye open, rolling his neck to look at her.

“I can’t believe you like cleaning,” he teased. “That took forever without you.”

Normally they teamed up to get the chores done, and she felt a little bad.

“I find it relaxing,” she admitted with a shrug.

“Relaxing?” Hyunjae repeated, looking offended.

Natalie giggled, swiping some hair out of his face, watching Hyunjae’s eyes flutter closed again at her touch.

“Thank you,” she said softly, fingers coming down to caress his cheek. “You didn’t have to do all this for me.”

And Hyunjae was opening his eyes once more, a smile on his handsome face- a soft one, the kind he saved just for her- before he was speaking softly.

“It was no problem.”

19 notes · View notes

meltwonu · 4 years

Text

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 | [CHAPTER 3]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, anal play, panty stuffing, toys that have fake cum, a bit of drunk ‘n dom!seungcheol, masturbation, daddy!kink 😳😏 yall! and we are back! I’m sorry we had to take a pause from last week but hopefully we won’t have anymore issues! 😭😭 this chapter is about 6.5k so strap in for the ride yall! and as always, thank you all soooo much for the support and love on my fics T_T it means so much to me! 💕 I hope yall have a good weekend bbys!! 🍒

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - ?

dom.cheol has donated $250

angelhan: :( i still cant believe i missed ur morning show…

chwenon: me too, i wouldn’t have stayed up til 6am had i known lol

sleepy_wonu: tbf, i couldve gotten kicked out of lab if i got caught watching… worth it tho

dom.cheol: i was at work but anything for u, baby.

You can’t help but pout at the camera reading the comments; knowing that some of your viewers were working or in class when you had done your surprise show. “Aww, m’sorry… I know it was so out of place for me but… You guys probably get it too, right?” You pause, sliding off of the pillow you were sitting on top of. You’d done a short show tonight; doing a strip tease for the camera before mounting a pillow and grinding against it until you came; fingertips gripping onto the silk as breathy moans spilled from your lips.

“Y’know? When you wake up and you’re just so needy.”

hoshi_tiger_xx: all the time, baby!

gentleman_josh95: literally me this morning ;(

“Right? See you guys get me!” You giggle. The sound of donations and comments sound off in the background as you zone out for a second.

It had already been a couple days since then and this was your first show back. You and Seungcheol had texted sporadically; a little bit of awkwardness on both ends if you were completely honest. He seemed genuinely shy which was not what you expected at first but you also knew it must’ve been weird for him to suddenly have unrestricted access to you. Seungcheol seemed to be unsure of what he was able to ask you or talk to you about, even though you had assured him that you wanted to get to know him just like regular friends.

In your case, Seungcheol was undeniably hot and seemed to really like you which sent the butterflies in your stomach soaring each and every time your phone pinged.

kitty_junjun: hey can i ask a weird question

You tilt your head, eyes blinking cutely at the camera. “Of course!”

kitty_junjun: do u think you’ll ever have a show with someone else? Like a guest or sth? I know we’ve asked before but i’m just curious since your anniversary is comin up again...

Biting your lip, you watch as the others chime in, asking the same question. In truth, you had considered it maybe once or twice. But that came with risks. Not only would you have to find someone who was okay with being on camera with you, but you also ran the risk of losing viewers if they weren’t happy with who it was or how it turned out.

Seungcheol bites his lip reading the comments; he’d thought about it too.

He thought about if he’d be jealous, which he convinced himself he wouldn’t be. He would.

And whether or not he would pay to be the person to join you on cam and fuck you in front of all your viewers.

He definitely would.

“Mmm… I mean, I definitely thought about it before? But wouldn’t it be weird to see someone else on my shows? And, like, an actual… guy?” You watch the comments fly past, donations getting lost in the flurry of comments saying that you should do it.

universe_WZ: and miss the chance of seeing u getting fucked and put in ur place like a good girl?

universe_WZ: i will pay top dollar

alphagyu97: same

artist8hao: also same

dom.cheol: you already know how much we’d all love to see your cute lil cunt getting filled up with a real cock, sweetheart.

You bite your lip in thought, glancing at the camera with a coy expression. “Hmm, okay! I’ll keep thinking about it… I really want to but it’s gonna take some time to find the right person and make sure they’re okay with being on cam with me too~”

j__min: u should ask me, i cam sometimes too… we should collab ;)

Trying to hide the awkwardness, you laugh it off, tucking a few stray hairs behind your ear. “Oh? A camboy that watches me? That’s interesting~”

There were usually only 13 of your viewers who you considered to be your ‘regulars’ and you knew them all by their usernames. Of course, there were others who seemed to comment here and there and lots of anonymous donations and comments as well. But the newcomer seemed to be very interested in you and you weren’t sure how to take it just yet.

“Hmm~ Okay! I think I’m gonna end the show here! It’s getting kinda late now, huh? I ended up staying and chatting too long again~”

dom.cheol has donated $300

universe_WZ has donated $100

dom.cheol: it’s okay baby we like talking to u :)

sleepy_wonu: agreed

You stick your tongue out, winking at the camera before you say your goodbyes and last few thank you’s.

“I’ll see you guys next time~ Sleep well and dream of me!”

Seungcheol takes a deep breath, rolling his computer chair away from his desk as soon as you go offline. You’d been as cute as you normally were, but this time he felt like your lust filled eyes pierced the screen a little harder than usual.

He reaches for his phone, opening your text window before typing a quick response. ‘Great show tonight, baby. ;)’ Pausing, he wonders if it’s a little too weird to text right after you’d finished a show; but instead hits send. The read receipt shows up immediately after which alerts Seungcheol you already had your text window up when he messaged you.

babygirl 🍒 : i was just about to message u!! hehe, how are u?

Seungcheol bites his lip. Would it be too much to call? He ponders.

‘Hey, is it okay to call? If ur busy, it’s okay. Just figured it’d be quicker than typing.’ He hits send before he can regret it, watching as the read receipt shows up under his message again.

In a few seconds, it’s his phone that rings, your display name at the top as he accepts your call.

“Cheollie!” Seungcheol’s heart threatens to beat out of his chest at your nickname for him, hand clutching the phone tightly as he tries to calm himself down. “Hey, sweetheart. Sorry, you must be tired? I just thought this would’ve been quicker.” He chuckles, standing from his computer chair as he makes his way towards his bed.

“Oh, not at all! I’m just tidying up so I have you on speaker right now~ If that’s okay?”

“Mm, of course, baby.”

Seungcheol takes the time to lay in his bed, a deep sigh escaping him as he relaxes into the sheets. “Everything okay, ‘Cheol?” Your voice is soft and gentle; music to his ears as he stares at the ceiling.

“Yeah! Just… the comments have been weird, huh?” He ends it with an awkward laugh, hoping you knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Oh, are you talking about people asking me to invite someone or the new guy in the comments?” Seungcheol doesn’t know which he wants to talk about first. “I guess both?” He inquires, hoping that it’s not too prying.

You make a humming noise on the other end, deciding which one to address first. “Mm, I mean… I would love to have someone else on the show with me but I don’t know… Don’t you think it’d be weird? I feel like I’ve been doing my show for so long by myself but maybe I should start trying other stuff…” You trail off, leaving it open-ended for Seungcheol’s opinion.

“It’s ultimately up to you, sweetheart. But---But if you do, just promise me you’ll make sure everything with this person checks out, okay? I mean--I just want you to be safe, don’t let it just be some weirdo off the internet.” Seungcheol blushes, words leaving his lips in a hurried mess. Sometimes he hated how overprotective he was of you. “And--and make sure they take a STD test and stuff, y’know?” Your giggles pour out of the phone receiver as Seungcheol hides his face in one of his pillows.

“Is this in reference to the ‘j__min’ person offering their services?” Yes.

“No…” Seungcheol mutters, somehow already knowing that you didn’t believe it.

“‘Cheol~ don’t worry. I’m not gonna get into cahoots with someone I don’t know. And honestly, it kinda weirds me out how he came out of nowhere… Makes me wonder if he was some anonymous viewer or donator this entire time and then decided to have a name.” There’s a pause on your end; Seungcheol hearing the washing machine going off.

“And anyway, if I were to do a cam show with someone else, I think I’d want to know them really well, don’cha think? Like a friend, maybe?”

Seungcheol lets you go to sleep after 15 more minutes of chatting; making sure you down a glass of water and get some food delivered before he lets you go for the night.

He places his phone down onto the nightstand, tugging his shirt off as he stands. But his phone pings not a second later, confusion crossing his features as he picks it up.

‘Hey hyung, don’t forget we’re going to that new diner across town tomorrow after work!!! I’m gettin me some disco fries baby!!!! - ggukie’

Seungcheol ends work 30 minutes later than he should the next day and Jeongguk watches from the concession stand as Seungcheol trudges over, fingertips running through his silvery-blue hair as he sighs.

“Some kid fuckin’ puked in the restroom and nobody wanted to clean it up so guess who did.” He complains, leaning his head onto the cool countertop as Jeongguk pats his head comfortingly. “Not my job but you should’ve called someone else. Where was Yoongi-hyung?”

“Gone, as per usual. We both know he clocks out 30 minutes early.”

The two laugh half-heartedly, making sure they have their things before they leave for the night. The night shift crew had already checked in just a few minutes prior; Taehyung and Hoseok waving them off as they leave.

They hop into Seungcheol’s car; Jeongguk already fiddling with the radio controls as Seungcheol puts in the address for the new diner that had opened up. “I hope this place is good. It seems to get a lot of good reviews for a place that just opened up, like, two weeks ago.” Jeongguk nods, settling into his seat as Seungcheol pulls out of the parking lot.

“We live in a city that’s straight out of an episode of Riverdale. I mean, we work at a roller rink? And there’s diners all over? But we’re in the present day with present day technology? Soon we’ll be Archie and Jughead. Except I want to be Jughead since I have the tattoos so you can be Archie. Or we can both be, like, from the Serpents but I still want to be Jughead.”

Seungcheol raises a brow at Jeongguk’s references.

“I don’t know that show so all of that just went over my head.”

It takes approximately 30 minutes to get across town; the huge neon lights from the diner welcoming them into the parking lot as Seungcheol parks the car somewhere near the entrance.

“God, was it just me or did that take a long time? I’m fuckin’ starving.” Seungcheol mutters; hopping out of the driver’s seat. “I think you’re just hungry, hyung.” Jeongguk offers, jogging up to the other male as they make their way to the doors.

Thankfully, the place seemed relatively empty for a Thursday night, a lone male standing at the front of the diner in a pastel coloured uniform.

“Hey! Welcome to Dynamite, my name’s Jun! Table for two?” Seungcheol nods slowly, eyes narrowing at the male who, for whatever reason, seemed familiar.

Jun picks up two menus, guiding them to a booth in the far corner of the diner. “We’re just a little understaffed tonight so I’ll also be your server tonight! Can I get you guys some water to start?” The two nod as they sit in the multi-coloured booth. “Hey, can I ask you something?” Jun blinks, nodding slowly as Seungcheol peers up at him from where he’s seated.

“I feel like I’ve met you? It’s weird. I’m pretty sure we’ve never met though…?” Seungcheol trails off, confused eyes meeting Jun’s. Jun wracks his brain, unsure, but feeling the same way. “I dunno, I feel the same but I’m pretty sure we never met. Maybe a past life thing?”

Jeongguk laughs, eyes too focused on the menu in front of him. “Oh, that’d be weird as fuck.”

“Anyway, I’ll come back with your water!” Jun walks away, leaving Seungcheol and Jeongguk to go through the menu.

“Hey, Seungcheol-hyung?”

“Mm?”

“I know you said you’re usually busy on the weekends but I’m doing a PUBG stream on Saturday and was wondering if you wanted to hang? I asked Yoongi-hyung too and he’s coming over to drink and hang out.” Seungcheol’s lips press into a firm line, eyes burning holes into the menu in front of him.

Jeongguk was a video game streamer sometimes and his streaming schedule lined up with yours which is why Seungcheol almost never had a chance to watch or be a part of Jeongguk’s. “Um, what time is it at?”

“I’m thinking of streaming from like 6PM to midnight or somethin’. But you don’t have to be there the entire time! Just thought it’d be cool to hang out on the weekends for once.”

Seungcheol nods slowly, glancing up at Jeongguk who’s already staring back at him. “I can probably show up for a bit? I need to leave by 10 though, I, uh, sleep early sometimes.” He knows Jeongguk doesn’t buy it, but a smile paints itself onto the younger male’s face in an instant.

“Cool! Wow, didn’t think you’d say yes actually.”

The older male nods, a tight smile on his lips. Your cam schedule was almost always on time; Fridays, Saturdays, every other Monday, and every other Wednesday at 11PM. Sometimes you’d have surprise shows, like before, but you often kept to your schedule unless something important came up. “I know, I get so busy on the weekends, y’know?”

Jun comes back with their waters, setting them down on the table before fishing out a pad and paper to take their orders. “What are you doing on the weekends anyway? I feel like I’ve never asked directly but you never return my calls on Fridays and Saturdays.” Seungcheol freezes mid-order, hands gripping the laminated menu. “Um, and a cherry coke, please, thank you. And I told you ‘Guk, I… I just like to unwind on the weekends, I like to enjoy my quiet time so--so sometimes I just turn my phone off, y’know?.”

Jeongguk puts his order in with Jun who runs their order back before he walks off again. “Is working at the roller rink that bad? I know it can get wild sometimes but… are you thinking about quitting?”

In truth, Seungcheol had thought about it before when he was first starting out at the roller rink. But he also knew it paid too well for him to leave just yet. “Nah, just… it gets loud, y’know? I end up doing jobs around the place that I’m not qualified to do. And with Namjoon-hyung gone still, we’re shorthanded. I thought about picking up another job for some extra cash, but with what time?” Seungcheol grabs his glass of water, lips puckered around the plastic straw as he takes a sip.

“You should cam!”

Water sprays all over the table as Seungcheol sputters, choking on the liquid. “The---what!?” Jun runs over with a stack of pink tissues, helping to wipe up the water as Jeongguk stares from across the table with a wide grin. He waits until Jun leaves again; eyes fixated on Seungcheol and the crimson blush that coats his cheeks and ears. “It’d be easy money for you. You’re not exactly ugly, and you can cover your face!”

“Why exactly are you suggesting that!? Why’d you go straight for that!?” Seungcheol screams under his breath.

“Let’s be real, it’s crossed my mind so it’s probably crossed yours too. You can always just game too, but if you need cash quick y’know… And hey, I have some extra equipment so…” Jeongguk trails off, wiggling his eyebrows at Seungcheol suggestively.

Seungcheol had actually thought about that too. Maybe once or twice.

But after he’d spoken to you and found out just how difficult it really was to keep your viewers engaged and how difficult it was trying to find new ideas to bring to your cam show, he knew it wasn’t as easy as most people thought it’d be. You always put in extra effort in your cam shows and it was a whole production with effort and ideas. Sometimes it took you days to even come up with a theme for a show and sometimes it didn’t do as well as you’d hoped.

“Um, if I ever do, I’ll let you know ‘Guk.”

Saturday comes sooner than Seungcheol knows and he’s antsy. He could barely even enjoy your cam show from the night prior knowing that he had to haul ass back home after Jeongguk’s stream. He plots out the drive home; times it just perfectly so he still has some spare time to relax before your show starts.

For a second, he wonders if it was the right decision or if he should’ve just stayed home like he normally did. But he quickly shakes the thoughts out of his head; glad to get out of his apartment and spend time with his friends on the weekends for once.

He makes it to Jeongguk’s place on time, a box of beer tucked under his arm when he knocks on the door. Shockingly, it’s Yoongi on the other end who greets him; a lopsided smile on his face as he ushers Seungcheol inside. “‘Guk was setting up so…”

“I brought more beer! He said you were spending the night on his sofa so drink all you want, hyung.” Yoongi nods, plopping back down onto the sofa as Seungcheol makes his way towards Jeongguk’s PC room.

The entire room is lined with LEDs, posters of anime and various video games lining all the spaces between the soundproofing pads that Jeongguk haphazardly attached to the wall.

“Yooo, how’s the setup coming?”

“I’m almost ready!”

It takes 20 more minutes of Jeongguk fiddling before he sits in his expensive gaming chair; Seungcheol close behind as he watches the younger male pull up the loading screen. “You’re not drinking, hyung?”

Seungcheol shakes his head, legs crossed as he leans back in the spare desk chair. “Nah, I drove here. Gotta be responsible, kid.” Jeongguk shakes his head, placing his headset and mic on before starting his stream.

“Hey guys! Welcome back to Golden Closet Gaming! I’m doing a PUBG stream tonight and one of my closest friends is here so if you hear him on the mic, that’s definitely not a ghost this time!” A concerned look crosses Seungcheol’s features but he laughs lightly. “Hey guys, I’m Seung---I’m, uh… I’m---SCOUPS!” He blurts out in a hurry; using his gaming username instead.

“And I’m your main player, JK!”

Watching Jeongguk game so seriously is interesting for Seungcheol. They take a break an hour and a half into Jeongguk’s streaming session to get food and drinks; immediately going back to the PC room right after.

But it makes Seungcheol wonder what it was like on your end to always be alone filming in your bedroom to thousands of people in such an intimate setting. For a second, it makes him sad, wondering if you ever felt lonely after your shows were over. Or if you were so tired and could barely take care of yourself.

I would’ve gladly been the one to take care of you after your shows, he thinks.

“Fuck you too, asshole! Get the fuck out!”

Jeongguk’s screaming brings him out of his sad thoughts; a brow raised as he peers at the screen. How the younger male had the energy to game for so long was beyond him sometimes.

“Uhhh anyway comments are asking what I should stream next week? I dunno, give me some ideas? Not the SIMS again though...” Jeongguk mutters. “Oh, j__min said I should play The Last of Us?”

The name has Seungcheol perking up in an instant, leaning over Jeongguk’s shoulder as his eyes dance over the comments.

j__min: bro u were supposed to stream that like 4 streams ago, wtf

seokGENIE: its a good game tho, id be interested in seeing how badly u do

j__min: actually yea me too lmao

Seungcheol’s eyes narrow slightly. Surely it couldn’t be? He thinks. The typing style wasn’t the same at all but the username was, which sent Seungcheol’s mind into a frenzy at the possibility.

But unfortunately for Seungcheol, Jeongguk launches into another match which means he had to wait another time to ask about it. He notes it mentally, making sure to get answers as soon as he can.

10PM comes sooner than Seungcheol expects and he lets Jeongguk know when it’s 9:50PM and while they’re in the middle of a break that he needs to go.

“Damn, where did time go? But okay, hyung! Sorry we didn’t really talk and I just gamed the entire time but maybe next time we can actually do something else? Go out for drinks maybe?” He shoots the older male his best puppy eyes until Seungcheol sighs and gives in, nodding as he fishes for his car keys.

“I’ll see you at work, okay?”

Seungcheol waves at Yoongi still glued to the sofa; a tiny wave of his own as he wishes Seungcheol a safe drive home.

He makes it home at exactly 10:32PM, toeing his shoes off before shucking off his jacket and tossing it onto the back of the sofa. He shuffles to the kitchen and grabs a few beers out of the fridge; already downing two entire bottles before he even makes it to his PC.

The buzz feels good when he sits down, taking a swig of his third bottle as he boots up his computer. In the meantime, he checks his phone, scrolling through apps and deleting notifications.

A text pops up at the top of his phone’s screen.

babygirl 🍒 : see u soon :)

Seungcheol smirks; ego inflated knowing that he was the only one getting that text message.

He checks the clock, 10:56PM, and loads up your profile, simultaneously finishing off his third can of beer since he’d gotten home.

For whatever reason, you’re nervous when you finally sit down in front of your camera setup tonight. You adjust your baby pink lace bra that Seungcheol had gotten you; a cherry blush on your cheeks as the giddiness pours over you.

Checking the clock, you notice it’s already 10:59PM, finger hovering over the ‘rec’ button before pressing it.

It takes a second before the comments already start flooding in; the sound of donations and comments flying across the screen in an instant.

“Whoa~ You guys are so eager tonight, huh? Already so many donations! Thank you!” You shift slightly onto your side, biting your lip. “We’re already so close to the minimum donations for me to start… what’s up with you guys?”

tangerine_kwan: I’m so glad to see u, yesterday was not enough

therealchan99: fuckin talk abt it dude, i almost quit my job im stressed i need to see u princess

dom.cheol has donated $500

dom.cheol: fuck, baby i need to see your pretty lil pussy already i’m so fuckin hard

Your eyes go wide with Seungcheol’s massive donation. He usually waited until you were mid-show or towards the end to donate such huge amounts of money and yesterday he seemed relatively quiet during your show. It threw you off slightly, but you just assumed he might’ve just been going through some things at the time. “Seems like you guys had a rough week, huh?”

xcaliburDK: gOD u dont even know, ur literally my stress relief, beautiful

kitty_junjun: yea i just started working at a new place and its… weird, just glad to be off today

Pouting at the camera, you lean in a little closer. “Hmm, guess I should start then, shouldn’t I~? Since you all seem like you need a ‘lil escape~”

gentleman_josh95 has donated $45

sleepy_wonu has donated $70

sleepy_wonu: please put us out of our misery, baby

You can’t help but giggle, sliding the bra straps down your shoulders before you unhook the material and toss it to the other side of the bed. “This cute setup didn’t last very long this time! Should I upload some pics later to my private room?”

alphagyu97: plz

chwenon: yes yes yes lewds plz

“Okay~” You pause, fingertips hooked onto the sides of your panties. “I actually… wanted to try a new toy…” You murmur, shyness taking over as you slowly slide your already wet panties down your thighs. Sitting back down, you slide them off completely before you place them next to you, glancing at the comments as you cross your ankles.

artist8hao: wait was that…

universe_WZ: i think so

hoshi_tiger_xx: plz plz plz let us seeeeee

dom.cheol has donated $200

dom.cheol: spread your legs, sweetheart. Let daddy see.

You clench your teeth at the arousal that pools in your lower abdomen; shaky legs parting towards the camera. Squirming slightly, the plug that you had eased into your ass shifts, making you mewl at the feeling. You’d tried using your fingers in the past, but by far, the toy was the biggest you’d used yet.

“I--I… I bought this toy m-myself ‘cause I wanted to… wa--wanted to… start learning how to t-take cock in my ass too…”

The way you sit on the bed has the toy fully seated inside of you, toes curling against the bed sheets as your hazy eyes flit to the camera. “I dunno how long I’m gonna last, it feels so good~” You moan, grinding against the sheets underneath you.

angelhan has donated $150

angelhan: i’m begging please, panty stuffing

You bite your lip, eyes dancing over to the lace material sitting next to you. “Hmm~ I don’t think I’ve ever done that on my show before… Should I try it?” You ask cutely, flashing the camera a cheeky smile. The donations pour in like rain; the pinging making your stream lag for a second as it tries to keep up.

dom.cheol has donated $400

tangerine_kwan has donated $100

dom.cheol: fuck, sweetheart lets see you get those panties fucking soaked

universe_WZ has donated $200

“Guess we have our answer?” You laugh airily, reading a few of the comments that were basically begging you to.

Spreading your legs as wide as you can, you maneuver yourself against your pillows; grabbing the lacy material. You quickly adjust the camera with a remote, zooming in until it’s focused on your soaking folds. “Ngh, I’m already so fuckin’ wet… this plug is really making me feel so full~”

dom.cheol: i bet your cute lil ass could barely take my fuckin cock huh

“Mmh, is daddy gonna fuck my ass and make me cum nice and hard?”

yes, yes yes, god yes!

Seungcheol could die right now and be happy.

He wraps a hand around his cock, hips shallowly thrusting up into his closed fist as he watches you run your own fingertips through your wet folds before you sink two of them into your tight pussy. His eyes flutter shut, the image of himself fucking your tight ass as you whine and beg for his cum dancing behind his eyelids.

The alcohol in his body has him on edge even quicker; the grip he has on his cock loosening so he doesn’t cum as quickly.

“A-ah… g--guess it’s time to try this…” You whisper, reaching for the lacy panties. You drag the material up your thigh teasingly, swinging it around your wet fingertips before you place it against your entrance.

You take a deep breath, slowly pushing the panties into your pussy.

tangerine_kwan: oh my god oh my god

alphagyu97: fuck thsts so hot fuck

angelhan: spread your legs more, please god

Your lust filled eyes glance towards the comments, shakily spreading your legs as far as they can go. “O-oh god it--it feels suh--so good…” You mewl, pressing the material further and further into your pussy.

“It’s d-different but… but it’s--it’s--mmh!”

You’re cumming before you know it, toes curling against the sheets as you cum around the toy in your ass and your fingers and panties deep inside your pussy.

Your legs threaten to clamp shut in an instant, which you fight off; the sound of donations and coins clinking flooding your eardrums. “I--fuh--fuck, I--I didn’t know I was gonna c-cum from that!” You let out a breathy laugh, moaning as you continue to push the panties inside of you until the fabric is completely gone from the camera’s view.

chwenon: now will u sell those

hoshi_tiger_xx: please once again i am begging I AM BEGGING

“Aww~ I wish I could… but you guys know my rules~” You pout; body warm and fuzzy after your first, unexpected orgasm. “God, I didn’t… I really didn’t know that’d make me cum so easily~”

dom.cheol: fuck sweetheart, your cute lil cunt cums so fuckin easily

“I know~ I have such a greedy pussy… Always want something filling me up…” You wink at the camera, reaching for a toy that was out of view. “I have another toy~ hehe, tonight is just full of new things, huh?”

You show the toy off to the camera, shifting so that you're on your knees instead. “It looks like a regular dildo right? But it’s full of cum! Not real cum anyway, but cum lube… It’s not the same but it’ll have to do for now~”

therealchan99: oh fuck oh god

sleepy_wonu: aww is the princess gonna let it cum in her cute ass?

artist8hao has donated $75

kitty_junjun has donated $50

dom.cheol: lets see that ass fuckin take all that cock baby

dom.cheol: let it cum in ur pretty lil hole

dom.cheol: fuck

You zoom your camera back out, turning to your side enough so that you could still see your monitor but also still be in frame. “Yeah? Does daddy wanna see how a good girl takes cock in her ass?” Moaning, you reach behind you, fingers on the end of the plug as you slowly pull it out. The stretch makes your back arch slightly; legs trembling when the larger part of the toy finally breaches past the puckered muscle.

The sudden emptiness only makes you reach for the dildo faster, covering it with lube before you place it against your ass. “D’you think I can take it?”

tangerine_kwan: i kno u can baby

sleepy_wonu: yes eys yes

dom.cheol: daddy knows u can, sweetheart

You place the toy at your puckered hole, biting your lip and telling yourself to relax before you slowly start easing it into your ass. “O-oh fuck…” You had made sure the toy was on the smaller size since it was your first time but the stretch of it still had your body tensing up almost immediately.

It takes a long and torturous minute until the toy is fully seated in your ass; body buzzing at the sensation. “G-god it--fuck, it feels even better than the plug~” You whine, maneuvering until you were sitting down on the toy completely.

You let your body adjust to the new feeling for a moment before you’re bouncing on the dildo, loud cries and garbled moans spilling from your lips. The new feeling has you chasing your high insanely fast; tuning out the comments and noises as you focus on your own pleasure.

Your mind can’t help but imagine Seungcheol again; his hands roaming your skin and his deep voice growling filthy praises into your ear as he fucks you from behind. You clench around the toy and the panties still in your pussy, wrecked sobs on your lips at the thought.

Before Seungcheol, you always imagined nameless hands on your body or even resorted to thinking about other videos you’d seen to help get you off. Some days it was harder and some days you were cumming in under five minutes. But now that Seungcheol had a name and face to you, it was impossible for you to imagine anyone else fucking you.

“Shi---it, I--I wanna cum!”

dom.cheol: already? Fuckin greedy lil ass

dom.cheol: cum, sweetheart. Let daddy cum in ur tight ass too

universe_WZ has donated $100

alphagyu97 has donated $75

You alternate from bouncing on the dildo to swiveling your hips; reaching a free hand down to rub circles around your swollen clit. “Already? Can I cum?” You whisper, mind already a puddle of goo now that you were so close.

kitty_junjun: cum

xcaliburDK: cum

chwenon: cum

dom.cheol: you heard them, sweetheart. Cum. Now.

Seungcheol’s grip on his cock tightens after he sends the comment; growls spilling from his lips as he watches you bounce on the toy. His cock throbs in his hold, already feeling himself just as close to his orgasm as you were to yours.

“Fu--fuck I’m cumming! D---daddy!” You cry, slamming yourself down onto the toy as you cum hard. Seungcheol bites his lip to keep in his own screams; streaks of cum landing on his shirt and jeans as he works himself through his own orgasm.

He tries to keep his eyes focused on you in the midst of his orgasm, watching as you squeeze the base of the dildo until the cum inside starts to pour into your ass. “O--oh god!” You mewl, still thrusting the toy into your ass.

Seungcheol’s mouth goes dry when you reach a shaky hand between your legs, fingertips dipping into your pussy and pulling the soaked lace until half of it is in view of the camera. His grip on his cock tightens, moans on his lips when you then slowly start pulling the dildo out of your ass; the fake lube immediately spilling out of your ass and onto the bed sheets and sliding down onto the panties.

universe_WZ: oh my god oh ymg f

xcaliburDK: eyeeeeeee

kitty_junjun: i

You push the fake cum out, soft cries on your lips as the last bits of your orgasm roll through your body. The fake cum feels slightly cold which sends a shiver up your spine as it drips down your legs.

“Mmh… god that---that was intense…” You mumble, upper body slumping against the sheets.

You reach a hand between your legs again, making sure you’re in the camera’s view when you tug on the panties again; this time pulling them all the way out as you groan.

alphagyu97: if ur not selling those can it be a giveaway

alphagyu97: make it a raffle

You toss the soiled fabric to the side, mindful of the puddle of fake cum soaking into the sheets as you readjust your tired self in front of the camera. “You guys really want these, huh?” You laugh, responding to a few other stray comments asking for the soaked material. Your entire body is tingling from all the new sensations, mind going a mile a minute with the adrenaline coursing through your veins.

Slumping forward, you thank your viewers again, yawning as you stretch out. “I think I need a bubble bath now~ ‘m so messy!”

hoshi_tiger_xx: we love a messy girl ;)

therealchan99: fuck yea we do

Letting a few more viewers leave donations, you start saying your goodbyes; wishing everyone a good weekend before you blow a kiss to the camera and sign off.

Seungcheol sends one last donation of $550, jaw clenched and cock still throbbing.

He reaches for his phone on instinct, opening your text window. Pausing, he grins. Maybe it was the alcohol in his system but he opens his camera app, flipping it so that it’s on him as he snaps picture after picture of his cum covered torso and his free hand still wrapped around his hard cock.

Smirking, he opens your text window again, thumb dancing across the keyboard with renewed energy.

‘fuck, princess. your fuckin show got me so hard. those panties were fuckin soaking from how much u liked getting ur ass fucked huh? I bet i could get u to cum just from me fuckin your cute lil ass... probably wouldnt even need to touch ur clit or fuck your cunt to get your tight walls cummin for me. but ur a greedy lil thing arent u? probably would still want a toy to keep that pussy nice n sated. fuck, im still hard even tho i already came once.’

He hits send before he thinks twice, quickly attaching a few of his own pictures before he locks his phone and tosses it onto his desk.

Seungcheol’s body is sensitive from his first orgasm still, but his hips thrust up into his closed palm again; head leaning up against the headrest as he lets out harsh breaths. His eyes flutter shut, eyelashes tickling his skin.

This time his imagination runs wild; hands tangled in your hair while he tugs on it, forcing your back straight against his chest as he fucks into you hard and fast. He imagines your sweet voice begging him to let you cum, walls tight around his cock when you fall apart on it.

“Fuck!” He cums hard, body rigid as his free hand digs into the armrest and the air is knocked out of his lungs.

Seungcheol vaguely hears his phone pinging in the background; mind hazy as the waves of his orgasm wash over his body.

When he starts to come down, he slumps against the chair, sleepiness already taking over with his two orgasms and the alcohol still in his system. He mentally makes a note to get rid of his soiled clothes another time, tiredly reaching for his phone.

He stares at it through his blurry vision, barely making out your name before he blinks the tiredness away enough to read your message.

babygirl 🍒: hehe~ does daddy want my panties then? i’ll gladly give them to u if u want them~ 😚

#cherrybomb!cheol #seungcheol smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #scoups smut #seungcheol scenarios #seungcheol imagines #scoups imagines #scoups scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #svt imagines #scoups #seungcheol

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collecting-stories · 3 years

Text

3am Friend - c. 01 - Topper Thornton

Summary: Topper and y/n have been in a “friends with benefits” relationship since September but the line between friendship and something more are already starting to blur.

A/N: This is basically four chapters: Fall, Winter, Spring, and Summer. Also it’s going to be a bit of a practice run at writing more smut for me lol. Also it’s smut like, right under the cut lol.

Sophomore Year Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

What were you doing with your life...

You bit down on your bottom lip to stifle a moan as Topper’s tongue pressed against your clit, the cold tiled wall of the shower stall pressing into your back had your skin erupting in goosebumps, a contrast to the almost burning water that was hitting you. It was futile to bother concealing whatever noises Topper managed to pull out of you, the curtains of the shower stalls did little to shield their occupants from the rest of the communal bathroom, the plastic more often than not creating the perfect outline of whoever decided to use the showers. There would be no mistaking you, pressed against the wall, one leg tossed over Topper’s shoulder, his own figure silhouetted, kneeling in front of you with his hands digging into your hips.

If anyone did find you there was a 90% chance that they weren’t just going to let you off with a ‘sorry for intruding while some guy eats you out in the shower’ but any concern you actually had about the consequences of your hookup had died the minute Topper had joined you in the shower stall. Technically he’d texted you to come over to his dorm, he lived right off the main campus, close to your building, in a still operational fraternity house. He split a room with some guy who liked to stare but never actually talk when you came around. Yours was not a relationship of anything substantial. You’d hooked up with Topper at a party and exchanged numbers and, two days later, responded to a very obvious booty call at one in the morning.

“Holy shit!” You cursed, your voice coming out an octave higher than usual, fingers gripping Topper’s short blond hair. You could feel every muscle in your body tense as you tried to keep yourself upright, your other hand grabbing hold of the dial on the faucet in a desperate attempt to not completely fall apart as Topper sucked on your clit. He had moved one of his hands at some point, middle finger now moving rhythmically in and out of your entrance, working you through an orgasm.

When you came down, your muscles relaxing and you pushing back against the wall to keep yourself steady, leg slipping off Topper’s shoulder, he stood up. He caged you in almost immediately, moving as close as possible in the stall and kissing you, the salty taste of cum still there on his mouth. “That pad really comes in handy,” he teased, referring to the silicone mat you’d bought two weeks earlier to scrub your feet without trying to do a yoga pose in the shower.

You hummed, “I’ll leave that in my review on Amazon. Great for not bruising your knees.” When he kissed you again you smiled, eyes fluttering closed for a split second. This was the worst part. The part when you ran out of things to say and he would untangle himself from your arms and leave, promise to text you later.

It was the thing that your roommate had warned you about in the beginning that you had ignored.

“That’s like, not even friends with benefits though.” She had admonished when you told her for the first time that you had started this bizarre relationship with Topper. “I mean, you’re literally having casual sex with some rando guy that you hooked up with at a party. At a frat party. Do you even fucking know anything about him?”

“I know his name,” you had replied, rummaging through your closet to find something to wear to class, “and his phone number so I can booty call him.”

“Brilliant.” She snapped, “he could be some fucking weirdo axe murderer preying on college girls.”

You rolled your eyes, “he’s the same age as us.” You had never been one for casual sex in your life until this point and you weren’t sure why it seemed enticing now but you wanted to branch out a little. You’d gotten your first boyfriend in ninth and you’d stuck with him until August of this, your sophomore year of college. He broke up with you, claiming the distance between your school and his was too much for him to deal with.

It was your roommate that had dragged you to the party at the fraternity house, claiming that it would get your mood up after the guy you’d been with for the last five years decided he couldn’t do the 2 hour commute between your school and his. Three shots of tequila later and the blond you couldn’t take your eyes off of asking if you wanted to ‘go somewhere quiet’ were all the motivation you needed to put the past behind you and stop groveling over a guy who wasn’t even there.

Still, the fact remained, even now as Topper put his hands on your hips, looking at you through the mirror and kissing the back of your head, you knew that casual sex was not your forte. Not simply because you had never done it before but because you found yourself craving those small, just after when the bubble had broken yet and there was still some lingering affection, moments as much as you craved the sex. But you had both agreed, casual. Something to take your mind off school for a few hours, a stress relief. For you it was more than that. You’d never been the most confident when it came to sex or your body, all that self-love/self-care crap was wasted on you and your gnawing insecurities. Having casual sex was like constantly challenging yourself to be your most exposed and most intimate with someone who was still relatively a stranger to you.

“You know I think it was technically supposed to be my turn,” you mentioned, running the wide-toothed comb through your hair. You should’ve detangled in the shower except that wasn’t really top priority. What would you even say, ‘oh, would you mind not eating me out for a second so I can brush my hair’…you’d live with the awkward waves that dried in.

“I thought we switched.” Topper shrugged, pulling his sweatpants back on. His shirt went over his head and you involuntarily pouted at the mirror, there went the view.

“No, I said…this doesn’t technically count.” You replied, referring to the party three nights earlier and the head you’d given to avoid having actual sex on your period. You were at the tail end and you’d contemplated not going to the frat house at all but changed your mind at the last moment.

“Hey, if you’re offering, I’m not gonna turn you down.” He joked.

You turned to look at him, the mirror not sufficing as you stuck your tongue out playfully. “I have a test tomorrow, I have to study.”

“Come over, you can study in my room. We’ll hang out.”

“We are incapable of hanging out Topper.” You replied, grabbing your shower caddy and heading for the door. He walked right out after you, both of you ignoring the rather appreciative stare of one of the other girls on your floor.

“Not true,” he’d suffered a nasty break-up in high school that he gave no more background to other than to say she had cheated on him extensively. Casual seemed to be the best he could allow himself to do though you weren’t sleeping with anyone else and, as far as you knew, neither was he.

Your roommate looked up from her desk, rolling her eyes at the sight of Topper following you into your dorm. In the beginning of September, when this first started, it felt like you only ever disappeared at night. You saw Topper when he texted you and you might smile in the café but you never actively sought each other out. Now it was creeping toward November though, with Halloween right around the corner, and Topper felt like an accessory. He was always right there wherever you were, not that you were complaining. To anyone on the outside you looked like a couple but you both maintained the friends with benefits story.

“Oh look who it is.” Almost two whole months of him and your roommate still greeted Topper with a disdainful glare. She was fervent in her belief that the guy you thought was damn near perfect (if only he’d actually date you) was hiding some deep-seated flaw.

“Hey G,” Topper greeted, taking a seat on your bed as if he couldn’t tell just how annoyed your roommate was.

Geena and you had been thrown together after enduring a freshman year from hell. Her roommate from the year prior had been awful, like caging yourself in with some 00’s mean girl who only found satisfaction in watching you suffer. Your own freshman roommate had been neurotic about the dorm and constantly scrutinized whether your cleaning methods were sufficient. Geena was a blessing, you got along well, hung out all the time, had become fast friends in the short time since the beginning of the semester. Topper was the only thing you didn’t agree on. She thought it was unhealthy, that it would only lead to heartbreak.

“You can’t have casual sex with a guy for three years…people already think you’re dating. Some girl I don’t even know asked me if I could get her into a Phi Sig party next week cause my roomie is dating one of the guys.” There was a new reason almost daily with Geena, like she tore away a new page on the calendar and it offered up cons to your relationship with Topper in lieu of a word for the day.

“I can ask for her.”

“Oh my god, that is not the point.” She snapped.

You sighed, “I don’t really care if people think we’re dating.”

“Why?” She asked the question so smugly you already knew where she was going with this. And you knew why it didn’t bother you that people thought you were dating, why you sometimes even fanned that flame.

“G-“

“No, tell me why? People usually keep that shit quiet so they can hook-up with other people too. So why don’t you care?”

“Because if people think we’re dating…they won’t try to date him.” You shrugged, practically mumbling the last part. You hated that she knew that off the bat, that she could tell that you liked him so much in such a short span of time. And you knew she had a point to all her antagonizing. You had been in too deep since two weeks into September when he told you that you looked pretty in something your ex always said made you look fat.

You held the seam of your towel shut as you rummaged through the set of plastic drawers underneath your bed. Geena had done the bed on risers thing for optimal storage and you had followed along, semi grateful for the added space since both of you seemed inclined to transport your entire bedroom with you. Topper’s foot nudged your side as you got closer to him and you looked up, matching his smile when you caught him staring at you. You were sure Geena was sitting behind you rolling her eyes.

“Guess I’ll go grab something to eat.” She announced, as if your very presence had worn her down.

“I’m just getting changed, I think we’re heading over to Topper’s.” You replied, looking back over your shoulder at her.

Geena scrunched her nose and stood up anyway, “still would rather not be here while you got dressed so I don’t have to pretend like I can’t see this one leering at you.” She shot Topper a look of contempt as she passed. If it was real, if he asked you out and he was really, actually, your boyfriend, Geena was positive she’d have no problems with him. He seemed like alright and he certainly made you happier and more confident than she’d seen you in the beginning of the year. But she hated the thought of you getting hurt and didn’t want to be just sitting on the sidelines watching it happen.

“I don’t leer.” He joked, turning back to you once she was out the door, “I don’t leer.”

You didn’t answer, instead grabbing your underwear out of the top drawer and pulling them on once the door was shut. The first time you had ever gotten dressed with Topper around you’d made sure that you were obscured from view, still too bashful and self-conscious of the way that you looked without clothes on. There was still that split second moment when you doubted yourself, when you thought about maneuvering your towel to hide your body from view, as if after two months Topper might suddenly look at you and decide he didn’t like the softness of your stomach or the width of your hips or any other imperfection you could find.

You pushed through the voice though, dropping your towel and getting dressed. When you reached for the bralette your tossed on the bed beside him you realized he was looking at you. “G might have a point, maybe I should turn around.” You teased, his eyes snapping up to meet yours.

“I’m admiring the view.” Topper replied, not at all embarrassed at being caught.

You rolled your eyes, pulling your bralette on and adjusting your boobs until it sat right. “I don’t even know why I’m putting this on,” you mentioned, grabbing his sweatshirt to pull on over it, “I should just stop wearing underwear to your room and then I won’t ever lose it.”

“You lose stuff? Whose wearing my hoodie right now?” He asked, grabbing the edge of the hood to pull you closer to him.

“Your room has swallowed three of my bras...the nice ones too. Or Will like, took them.” You said.

If there was some kind of formal set of rules that you and Topper had ever thought to draft, kissing outside of actually having sex with each other should have qualified as a major no. But nothing of the sort had ever been discussed and now, Topper leaned over, stealing a quick kiss before he got off your bed. Maybe now didn’t count as a ‘just friends’ moment though since technically you were heading back to his room, presumably to have sex. To finish what he’d started when he showed up seconds before you got a shower.

“What would Will need your bras for?”

“To masturbate over? Who knows...all I’m saying is, I wear bras to your room, I never seem to leave with them.” You replied.

“I promise I will find all your missing bras today, okay?” He grabbed your lanyard off the hook, keys and wallet all in one place, pulling the door open for you. “Wanna grab pizza later?”

You chewed on your bottom lip, waiting a beat to answer him. Grabbing pizza meant, inevitably, hanging out after. Becoming friends was unavoidable, there was no way that either of you could have navigated sleeping together without some sort of relationship forming. So far it was only friendship, or at least that was all either of you were willing to let it be. Anything more than that meant an actual romantic relationship forming, something you wanted but were determined not to let yourself even entertain the idea of.

“Fine but not from that place by Barnaby's.” You replied, pushing the door open and stepping out into the quad with him. The local bar was always teeming with college students and the last thing you wanted was someone recognizing Topper, because everyone always seemed to recognize Topper, and invite the two of you in.

“We’ll just get it delivered.” He shrugged.

The first time you met Topper, enough to tequila to not make you totally embarrassed as you danced with Geena in the main room of the Phi Sig frat house, you had laughed when he told you his name. It was a combination of the heels you borrowed from another girl on your floor and the alcohol that had you losing your footing, catching yourself in time not to smash your whole body into a coffee table, and landing on the couch beside Topper. He was taking a sip of beer and looked relatively startled when some almost drunk girl fell into the spot next to him.

“Sorry!” You’d shouted over the bass as you tried to undo the straps of the heels that you were sure were also guilty of twisting your ankle.

When he introduced himself two sentences later, “I’m Topper” you couldn’t resist a good dad-joke and smiled at him, “but I hardly know her!”

“Amazing.” He had been less amused by the joke than you were though he didn’t really seem bothered by it, at least not bothered enough to move on because he stayed on the couch for three more turns of the conversation before asking if you wanted to talk elsewhere. You were sober enough to know exactly what he meant and obliged because you were still kinda pissed at your ex and you didn’t want this year to pass the same as last year had, with nothing but school work to show as a passing of time.

At least you’d have a good story to tell.

Highschool you had a healthy apprehension of frat houses and the people who lived in them. You’d seen enough episodes of CSI, Law and Order, Veronica Mars, and any other crime show that existed in the early 00’s to know that frat houses were breeding grounds for terrible things. Your parents had even attempted to sway you from going to your first-choice college simply because the greeks still existed on campus. You could only imagine what they’d think now, knowing that you had spent more time in Topper’s room than you had in your own in the last month at least.

Frat houses might’ve been sordid in your mind but so far, your reality of this one was exactly what it looked like on the surface, a bunch of guys living together with limited supervision. You still stuck to Topper whenever you were inside but you’d never had a problem with anyone in there and you rightly assumed that most of them just figured you were his girlfriend.

“Will told me he wants that TA position next year, with Prof Berkley.” You mentioned, flopping back onto Topper’s bed and tilting your head so you could look over to the empty other side of the room that belonged to his roommate. Aside from staring at you too much and possibly stealing your bras, you still had a hunch that Topper was just messing with you and had them stashed away somewhere, Will was alright. You were both in the same area of study, pre-law, and he had told you days earlier that he was gunning for the same TA position with your advisor as you were.

“I don’t know anything about it.” Topper replied, kicking his slides off and climbing onto his bed with you. The countdown in your head started now, hopefully soon you would be naked.

“Yes, you do because I literally told you about it at breakfast.” You pointed out. He’d texted you that morning to get coffee with him and you ignored Geena when she told you that sex-friends don’t get coffee together. “I said I was applying for the TA spot because it’s a massive opportunity.”

“Sounds like something I don’t have an opinion on.” He said, rolling over so that he could kiss you. “Enough chit-chat.”

“You’ve got a one-track mind Thornton.” You joked, moving your arms above your head as he pulled his sweatshirt off of you.

“Well can I interest you in getting on that track with me?” He replied, lips brushing over your neck as he spoke. You hadn’t bothered to put on any makeup before you left your dorm, you hadn’t even bothered to dry your hair all the way. But who were you to worry about things like that when Topper was pushing your bralette up over your head.

You jerked slightly, wriggling around on the bed when the fabric got caught half way up your arms, binding them above your head and covering your face, Topper taking advantage of the moment and sucking one of your nipples into his mouth, tongue swirling around it as you arched your back into him. “Topper!” You whined.

He hummed, pulling away from you to take the bralette the rest of the way off and tossing it off the bed, “sorry, couldn’t resist.” He said, smiling at you as if he truly couldn’t resist. The thought made butterflies erupt in your stomach.

You didn’t let yourself have the moment though, pulling him in for a kiss the moment he had untangled you, hand on the back of his neck as you ran your tongue against his bottom lip, biting gently as you pulled away. Topper held himself up on one elbow, his other hand pushing passed your sweatpants.

“Always right down to business,” you teased.

“What do you want me to take you out first?” He was joking, you knew that, but the way he said almost sounded like he truly would take you out if you wanted him to. But then what would this be, if you had dinner before you hooked up.

“Some foreplay would be nice.” You kept the conversation light, the way you always did, and he laughed.

“I thought the shower was foreplay.”

You would’ve answered, thought of something witty to make him laugh again, but he had pushed your underwear to the side, fingers pushing passed your folds to brush your clit. He made the same satisfied hum that he always did when he realized that you were wet, like a quiet pat on the back. His middle finger circled your clit, a barely there shudder of nerves setting off in your stomach as you moaned.

“I was supposed to,” you managed as he shifted further down the bed and you realized what he was doing.

“We have plenty of time.” He promised, pressing a kiss to your stomach.

Topper hadn’t seriously dated anyone since his break-up with Sarah. Kelce told him constantly that he was putting too much on that relationship, as if it was the holy grail by which to rate every other relationship that he had. And maybe he was allowing himself to be too scorned by something that lasted little more than a summer but he couldn’t help it. Topper was nothing if not a hopeless romantic and that had felt like such an idealistic time in his life until it all inevitably crashed around him.

He tried casual hook-ups before you. A few girls from high school that he knew that made it practically impossible for the casual to still exist alongside the hook-up. College was easier but freshman year had been mostly dedicated to rushing the fraternity that his dad and grandfather and great grandfather had all rushed before him. Then he met you at a party in the beginning of sophomore year and he told himself it was casual but he knew that this was far from it.

You weren’t anything like Sarah and maybe he had done that on purpose. Specifically slept with someone that didn’t remind him of anyone back home as some way to separate himself from that part of his life. To fully embody the frat boy, jock, life he was trying to live through. He figured it would just be a onetime thing and then maybe a sometime thing but now it was most definitely an all the time thing. Kelce told him that he should just ask you out but Topper felt like he was in too deep already.

This was supposed to be strictly friends with benefits, if he crossed that line and you said no he would be crushed.

“Topper,” you moaned, bringing him back to the moment. You shuddered as he pulled his fingers out of you, placing a kiss just below your belly button. When you tugged at the short blond hairs at the back of his head he shifted, letting you lead him back up so that you could kiss him.

You had told him specifically that it was your turn, as if he really cared about taking turns at all. “That’s the whole point, isn’t it? You don’t have some fussy girlfriend bitching about giving you head.” Rafe’s colourful comments about the situation had been largely ignored but Topper knew, less crudely, he was right. The whole reason the two of you had started this was for sex of any kind and you had been the one to suggest taking turns.

“My ex wasn’t very forthcoming with praise. He always told me I was kinda shitty at sucking dick so, maybe it’d be kinda nice to practice.” It’s been a colourful sentiment, one you had felt oddly comfortable sharing with Topper when the two of you first sat in his room discussing the arrangement.

And while he wholeheartedly disagreed with your ex-boyfriend, Topper just liked being the one to give. He liked that moment when everything overwhelmed you enough that you let go and stopped worrying about if you looked attractive in a certain position or if your thighs were too big or if you had any unwanted rolls. That split second between overthinking and not thinking at all was powerful and Topper liked being the one who caused it. He liked the way you looked in his bed, biting your bottom lip to keep quiet so other guys in the house didn’t hear you. The way your hair tangled just from laying on your back. He could list a million things, every one more obscure, less noticeable, than the last because he felt like when you were around all he could do was pay attention.

“Hey, quit daydreaming about Hailey Bieber-“ you teased as Topper’s movements slowed down, his lips brushing languidly against your collar like he was in some lethargic trance.

He squeezed your side, baring his teeth to nip at your neck, scraping them across your skin and making you laugh as you turned your head towards his. That lazy smile you got was there, eyes hooded as you watched him, the moment passed and he leaned in to kiss you again. When he broke away it was only to grab a condom from the box on his dresser.

Topper pushed your legs apart, settling between them. He slipped one hand beneath your back, guiding it into an arch to bring your chest closer to him, mouth finding one of your breasts. His tongue pressed against your nipple, swirling around it as you dug your nails in the sheets beneath you. He looked up at you, eyes hooded, as he pushed you back down against the bed. “God,” he breathed out, “you’re so fucking gorgeous.”

You grabbed the back of Topper’s neck, pulling him into a kiss, slower than the ones before, more tender. Your other hand moved down between your bodies, finding his dick, enjoying the way he moaned against your mouth as you guided him in. Despite the orgasm he’d given you in the shower you still felt that stretch as he pushed in, kissing across your jaw and sucking a bruise into the space just behind your ear.

You would never tell Geena but somewhere between quick hook-ups and longer nights together your ‘just casual sex’ had turned into something else, something far more meaningful though neither of you would acknowledge it.

Instead you just held onto him, nails scratching a trail down his back as he found a rhythm, Instead, you just held onto him, nails scratching a trail down his back as he found a rhythm, hips snapping against yours. The sound of your panting breath and his grunts filled the room; you bit your lip to stop yourself from moaning when Topper’s fingers dipped passed your folds to massage your clit.

“Oh god, Topper,” you whined, turning your face enough to press your cheek into Topper’s pillow, the faint smell of his cologne hitting your nose. You breathed in, always a fan of the subtle musk.

“Does that feel good baby?” His lips brushed your ear as he spoke, words barely registering over the sensation of him. You opened your legs a little further, lifting your knee and hooking your leg over his back. The angle seemed to give more depth and his movements picked up speed. His fingers circled your clit faster as he continued to whisper words of encouragement to you. A quiet “come on baby, I know you’re close”.

“Are you?”

His comment had seemingly brought you just out of the haze enough to ask him if he was close. You knew you were, he knew you were, and you wanted him to be there too, just on that edge with you. As he pulled out you clenched around him and when he pushed back in it felt deeper than before, that all too familiar groan of satisfaction leaving his lips as you guided him back into a kiss. He didn’t answer your question, instead taking the opportunity to kiss you, tongue working it’s way into your mouth and dragging across your teeth. You found your grip on his hair, tugging hard enough that he jerked his hips in retaliation, hitting so deep you felt yourself go off that edge, his motion become erratic as he followed, smoothing your scream with another kiss, biting your bottom lip as he pulled away.

There was always a moment of frenzy in the beginning when you first started hooking up. You would rush to grab your clothes, partially because you felt the need to leave when the act was done and partially because you didn’t want him to linger too long on your body. You were a temporary fix for a problem he didn’t feel like dealing with on his own, he wasn’t responsible for making you feel good about yourself. He wasn’t your boyfriend, he wasn’t obligated to tell you that you were beautiful or lavish any compliment onto you at all, not that your ex had ever been willing to either. You didn’t stay, for the first few weeks you trudged back across the lawn from the frat house, back to the dorms, and snuck in. But things had changed by mid October and what was once a booty call at one in the morning when he couldn’t sleep was now you going over for pizza and a study session that turned into an afternoon spent in his bed.

“What time is Will back?” You asked, sitting up as Topper came back into the room with two water bottles. There was still that awkward moment just after sex, as if neither of you knew how to leave behind the intimacy of the act and return to normal life. Like you were both waiting for the other to admit that maybe just friends wasn’t really what you wanted at all. So he disappeared downstairs to get water and you pulled your underwear and his sweatshirt back on, leaving the bra somewhere on the floor.

The empty other side of the room served as a poignant reminder that time alone was only ever temporary.

“Not sure,” he shrugged, “he’s been talking about some girl on campus that he’s dating. Won’t reveal her name apparently, he’s convinced Fitz will try to fuck with them if he finds out.” His fraternity brothers were not the same as hanging out with Kelce and Rafe every day but they weren’t the worst substitutes for entertainment. Fitz was the head of the house, a senior whose greatest claim to fame was being party to a wildly controversial radio-show that amounted to nothing more than some white guys imitating Rush Limbaugh and the Douche from Parks & Rec. He said dumb shit just to piss people off and had an unappreciated proclivity for trying to ruin any relationship one of his brothers found themselves in.

Will was always an easy target for him though he’d set his sights on you a few times, assuming like others did, that you and Topper were dating. You had never mentioned it to Topper, Fitz was gross and you were looking forward to his inevitable graduation at the end of May.

“Fitz totally would,” you replied. Last year you existed on no one’s radar. You hadn’t so much as gotten an offer to go out on a date with someone and yet this year, all because of Topper, you were sure, it felt like everyone in his circle seemed to pay attention to you in some way. “He told me he prank called Will’s mom two weeks ago pretending to be the on campus nurse for a bit on his radio show.”

Topper looked up from his phone and the pizza he was ordering, frown etched onto his features. “When did you talk to Fitz?”

“His econ class is right down the hall from my 12:30 poly sci class…he always ‘walks with me across campus’ in case I get mugged apparently.” You laughed, “I think he just does it cause he knows we hang out.”

“I didn’t know he was talking to you.”

You shrugged, Fitz had been goading you for weeks but it wasn’t anything that felt harmful. Just some mind-numbingly dumb conversation about parties and girls and his radio show and how hot he apparently thought you were. “It’s not a big deal, if he was bothering me I probably would’ve said something.”

“Right,” Topper still looked miffed despite having no reason to be. You weren’t interested in Fitz and, even if you were, what say did he have over it. That old familiar feeling crept in though, the one he recognised as the same one that the plagued him after Wheezie told him that Sarah had cheated on the boyfriend before him only to find out that she had cheated on him with John B. When he looked over you were pouting at him, “what?”

“Your room is so cold.” You replied, pulling the sleeves of your sweatshirt over your hands as if that was an indication of the frigid temperature. The old house lacked insulation in most of the rooms, Topper’s being one of them.

He rolled his eyes, climbing back into bed with you, the momentary worry subsiding. You weren’t his girlfriend but in that moment, as he pulled the blankets around the two of you, guiding you back down to lay with him under the covers, he could have fooled even himself about the relationship. He held his arm out in front of both of you so that you could see his phone and the menu for the pizza place.

“I’ve been really in the mood for pepperoni.” You mused, not bothering to look at the screen and opting instead to tuck your face into his bare collar. Your hand slipped down from his chest and Topper grabbed your wrist before you could make it to his briefs.

“Pizza first,” he said, “you’re already getting sleepy.”

“It’s cause I’m cold.” You insisted.

He turned to place a kiss on your forehead, “pizza.” He reminded you again.

Halloween weekend creeped up and, before you knew it, Phi Sig was decorated and advertising a Halloween haunted house party for everyone on campus. Geena was going home on the actual night of to trick or treat with her sister but she agreed to go to the party with you that weekend. She loved a good party and any excuse to dress up.

When you weren’t spending time with Topper, and sometimes when you were because he had a tendency to hang out just to hang out (the friends side of the benefit), you and Geena marathoned episodes of Supernatural. And it was at her coaxing that your Halloween costume became an homage to the show and your favorite character. A semi-loosely interpreted Dean Winchester, complete with a flannel over your black tank top and the mark of Cain crafted by Geena using her best fx makeup skills. You wore cut-off jean shorts with your hiking boots, showing off the legs that you were usually self-conscious about. Geena was Cas, sticking a little closer to the actual costume though she made a few alterations.

“I gotta ask…” Fitz said, coming up to the two of you the moment you were in the door, as if he was the greeting committee.

“I’m Dean Winchester.” You explained, “G’s Cas.”

“You dressed like a guy for Halloween?” Fitz clarified. “I was hoping for something that showed a little more…” he made a motion with his hands to indicate that the little more he wanted to see were your boobs.

“I have the obligatory sexy cat costume but that’s…” you looked passed Fitz’s shoulder, eyes landing on Topper down the hall chatting with some friends, a smile instantly lighting up your face, “that’s for his eyes only.”

Fitz looked behind him, catching sight of his frat brother and rolling his eyes before turning back to you, “yeah well, if Thornton’s not appreciative then you know where to find me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you laughed, stepping around him. Geena had broken off already, heading for the keg that had been set up in the corner. When you started down the hall Fitz found someone else to antagonise, leaving you to vie for Topper’s attention, not that it took you much. Just walking up had him breaking his concentration to look at you, the smile automatic. “Hey,” you greeted as he hugged you, keeping his arm around your waist as he brought you into the conversation.

“Hey, you look great.” He praised, offering you some of his beer. Topper’s costume was best described as JFK yachting in Hyannis. He looked like a preppy New England white boy and you suspected it was all clothing he already owned thrown together differently. There was always that slight air of prep to him though college and a growing collection of hoodies were slowly eating away at that.

“Thanks, I feel a little out of place,” you joked, noting a girl down the hall that was wearing a mock up of Amanda Seyfried’s bunny costume from Mean Girls. “Though I do have a costume change saved for later.”

“Oh yeah,” that smile was a full blown mischievous grin and you wondered for a split-second how down he would be to ditch the whole party and take you to his room. “Does it involve these clothes on my floor?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” You teased.

You had been stressing over the purchase of a costume that could’ve been more accurately described as lingerie since it arrived at your dorm a week earlier. Did friends with benefits buy lingerie sets specifically for showing off? You weren’t sure where that one fell on the line but you were positive you were crossing into territory that was reserved for girlfriends. But even with those doubts, just the thought of Topper seeing you in something that was just for him to see you in somehow made you unable to pass up the opportunity.

Topper groaned, pulling you closer to him so that he could press his forehead into your neck, “baby,” his voice sounded almost close to whining and you ran a hand through his hair. He nipped at your exposed collar before lifting his head again to look at you. “How long am I supposed to wait?”

“One track mind, I’ve said it before…I’ll say it again.” You laughed, trying not to think about the way this felt so much like a relationship, pulling away from him but taking his hand, “come on, I wanna get a drink.”

He followed you to the makeshift bar set up by the keg, refilling his beer while you ladled a generous helping of jungle juice into your cup, trying to fish as many sour patch kids as you could to add to it. You were drinking mostly to calm the nerves that were bubbling up. Geena would be gone Halloween night and the whole next day because she didn’t have classes and you were thinking of inviting Topper to stay over. Regardless of the hour or the amount of time you spent together afterward, the post-coital bliss always came to an end and one of you always left the other. Even if you got breakfast the next day there was a stretch of time that existed between the night before and the morning after where you were nothing to each other but bodies.

“So, Geena’s going home on Halloween, I thought maybe you could come over,” you suggested. That part was a given.

Topper looked almost confused that you were asking, “yeah, figured we’d end up hanging out anyway.” He replied.

“Well…” you worried your bottom lip between your teeth for a moment, “I was thinking, she won’t be back til the next day…like, at night, and I thought, maybe you’d wanna stay over.”

No. There was a voice in the back of his head, the logical one who knew that crossing the most obvious line, the one where he stayed and you woke up together, was a turning point that he wouldn’t be able to come back from. It was bad enough that he had let this become something that bordered on being a relationship to anyone looking in on it, but letting himself pretend like it was…he wasn’t sure he could come back from that when this all ended.

“Yeah,” he said, quieting the logical side of his brain, “as long as you wear this ‘something else’ for the duration of my stay.” It might be a bad idea but who was he kidding, he was so far gone he’d accidentally referred to you as his girlfriend when he was on the phone with his mom just the day before.

That smile returned to your face, the one that was so sly yet excitable at the same time, the perfect juxtaposition of innocence and deviousness, “Well, I was gonna wear nothing but-“

“Nothing works for me.” Topper replied, using his free hand to hook his fingers through your front belt loop and pulling you toward him so that he could kiss you. Definitely not friends with benefits, but you’d both keep pretending until one of you cracked.

taglist: @heavenlymama @vindictive-hearts @alexa-playafricabytoto @dontjinx-it @randomficsandshit @niamhobrien @strangerthanfanfiction713 @tovvaa @freckled-and-daydreaming @harleylynn @bibliophilewednesday @dpaccione @bolaurel @poguestyleskye @beautyandthebleh @under-a-canyon-moon @outerbankspreferences @vintageobx @starkeymemories @princess-of-fandoms @phantompogues @khiaraaa-in-spacee @ilovejjmaybank

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sayonarasanity · 3 years

Text

Reverberation

Chapter V

link to AO3

Chapter 1 - 2 - 3 - 4

notes: the song that will be mentioned in this chapter is She's a Rainbow by Lola Marsh and also here is the Spotify link. I highly recommend you to listen to it especially while reading that part. it's truly an incredible song

The first year of high school passed by in the blink of an eye. Between the adjustment of classes, advanced math, and literature, teachers of idiosyncratic character treats and a variety of teens in the class he didn’t even understand the period between September and June. If he was being honest there wasn’t much noteworthy difference between middle school and high school except for the lessons and maybe some physical changes among his peers as well as himself. Save for the height part. Apparently, he wasn’t gifted like that giant Mike or the very sophisticated Erwin Smith.

There was nothing much to do during the summer break. He worked alongside his uncle in the market to at least gain some money and not spend his whole time lying on his bed, sweaty and gasping for a breath while a single leaf on a tree begged for a tiny breeze to make it wiggle. He read some books, watched some TV shows, played soccer with the other boys in class; Mike, Erwin, Oluo, Guther, Eld and even Moblit when or if they were around. Went to the beach with the same squad in addition to girls like Petra, Nifa, Nanaba and Hanji.

Most of his time was spent with Hanji, of course. On the roof, in the attic, in each other’s rooms, sometimes at the library—because the heat didn’t stop Hanji from being a complete nerd—and sometimes she helped him in the market while stuffing his mind with countless mind-blowing topics.

And so came the second year of high school.

And it took Hanji only two weeks to be late for the first class in the morning.

“I can’t believe you actually slept in,” Levi told her after she came inside the class during the break, gasping, her face flushed red possibly from running, hair dishevelled and absolutely not combed, and sat down on her desk in front of him.

She was trying to adjust her breaths as she turned over to face him. The dispersed, brown strands were covering her face, some of them had stuck on her reddened cheek and forehead. After the not so successful haircut, Levi had given her, she had also gotten bangs. Courtesy of her mother. “I was reading a book last night.”

“And?” He raised a brow.

She pushed the glasses up, and leaned in closer, putting an elbow on top of his desk. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“What kind of book could possibly make you stay awake all night?”

“It’s called The Blind Owl.” She shivered as if a chill had gone through her body. “It was the most disturbing thing I’ve ever read. And the thing is I couldn’t stop reading it because it was also ridiculously intriguing,” she sighed and rubbed her eyes under her glasses. “It cost me my sleep though.”

“That bad, huh?” Levi asked, but it was obvious from the dark circles under her eyes.

“I mean, it wasn’t that bad actually. It was masterfully written for sure. It was just—”

“Disturbing.”

“Yes. There is no other word to explain it.” She ran a hand through her dispersed hair, but her fingers got stuck between the knots. Then she looked at her wrist and groaned frustrated. “I forgot my hair tie.”

One of the things the almost six years of friendship with Hanji had thought him was to collect the items she had a habit of forgetting, mostly in his room. He had a drawer full of her lost, black hair ties. He kept a few on his pencil case or sometimes, like today, he carried one of them on his wrist. “Here,” he said extending it to her.

“What would do without you?” she whined as she took the tie from him.

“You wouldn’t survive a day,” Levi pointed out. It wasn’t even half-joke.

“Agreed,” she nodded. She had finished tying up her hair. Now her face was more on display, the flush on her cheeks was nearly gone. Levi realized that her nape was not covered with the too-short strands that couldn’t make it into her sloppy, little ponytail.

His hand moved instinctively, naturally even. “Your hair has grown long again,” he told her with a frown. And when his fingers touched her bare nape, she winced quite clearly for his frown to get deeper. He retreated his hand upon her reaction.

Her hand held the place he had barely touched seconds ago and when she noticed his expression she laughed. “God, your fingers are cold.”

Levi folded his hand as a fist, pressing his fingertips on his palm to see if his fingers were indeed cold as she had said. His body temperature was low, it was no news to him but at the moment his fingertips was not that cold for her to give such a reaction. Maybe because she had run here it was her body which was unnaturally hot, he reasoned, not really satisfied but he would accept it for the time being.

“Do you want me to cut it?”

“No,” she objected, avoiding his stare. “I’ll use it like this for a while.”

Her hand went on rubbing her neck, it seemed like an almost unintentional, absent-minded motion at this point.

“I made some research,” Hanji said when the silence got a little awkward for their standards. She then looked through her bag with both hands and slammed a wrinkled piece of paper on his desk.

“What’s this?” He examined her inelaborate handwriting but couldn’t understand the overall concept of what was written. Meanwhile, Hanji brought a pen over the page and underlined two words that were written in capital letters.

ROSE and SINA.

“These two are the best universities of the country,” she started to explain. “Both in terms of education and in terms of different opportunities for students. Student clubs are very much active also the campuses are huge.”

Levi had heard of the universities of course. They were named after the cities they were located in. Sina was almost three hours away from their town and Rose was even further in the opposite direction. But they had to leave the town at some point if they wanted to receive a good education. As Hanji had told the two of them were probably their best options and if they manage to keep their grades high enough there was a chance for both of them to make it into the same university. But, which one?

“But?”

“But” she carried the pen over the word Sina and drew a circle around it. “Since Sina is a technical university, I think it is a far better option for us considering the departments we want to study.”

Levi hummed thoughtfully. She did have a point.

“Also,” she continued, eyes glittering. “Great professors like Keith Shadis, Theo Magath and Darius Zackly are teaching there. Imagine the lectures…” she shrieked with excitement and wiggled in her seat. “It’s gonna be so fun!”

Levi shook his head at her quite early thrill and snatched the pencil out of her hand. He drew an arrow to the word Sina and wrote elegantly above: GOAL. “Sina it is then.”

Hanji took the pencil back and while nodding she scratched the word he had just written and instead, bringing the pencil a little to the crosswise she wrote: DREAM.

She looked at him then as if to confirm, with a bright smile on her lips and eyes full of the glitter of the dream she held so close to her heart. It was contagious. Levi felt his lips curling up, and maybe a tiny bit of that lustre in her eyes had reached out to his own. And he thought that maybe it wasn’t that hard after all.

How naïve, a sly, foreign voice whispered in the back of his mind. Little boy, how naïve.

“So, what’s going on between you two?”

Hanji lifted her eyebrows upon Nifa’s question and moved her stare to whom the question was directed. Nanaba gulped her bite with seemingly a little more force than necessary and blinked innocently at Nifa. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean,” Nifa wiggled her brows, smirking mischievously at their suffering friend. “You and Mike.”

Petra hid a chuckle behind her hand as Hanji bit her cheek inside to stop her smile from shaping so obviously. They were sitting in the backyard of the school on an arbour for lunch. There was still for about half an hour until their next class and from the looks of it, Nifa had decided to use it for some gossip.

“Nothing,” Nanaba answered nonchalantly then she brought the straw of her peach juice to her mouth and took a very long sip. Hanji didn’t miss the faint blush on her cheekbones. “We’re friends.”

“You’re a little too close for being friends, don’t you think?” Nifa asked with a sweet voice, dropping her chin on top of her intertwined fingers, smiling.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about?” Nanaba brushed her off, taking another bite from her sandwich.

“Stop tormenting her, Nifa,” Hanji interrupted just as Nifa was about to say something else. “She can tell us when she feels like it.” Hanji then smirked at a very pissed Nanaba, who was glaring at her so hard Hanji thought she could catch flames just by responding to her stare.

Suddenly, someone dropped something in front of her with a loud “pat” and Hanji looked down, startled, to a packet of chocolate milk, then looked up to a frowning Levi.

“Did you eat?”

“Yep!” Hanji rested her chin on her palm and smiled at him. “Did you?”

He nodded silently and gestured at the milk standing on the wooden table. “You’re gonna pay me back for that later.”

“Stingy,” she murmured as he turned his back to her. Hanji saw the other boys gathered up around a bench a little away from where she and the girls sat. And before Levi went too far away, she shouted behind him, “When shall we meet again?”

He glanced at her above his shoulder. “After school,” he said, flatly.

“Come on, Levi!” She lifted her chin from her palm, disappointed. “You should’ve said “when the hurly-burly is done”, I thought you were better than that!”

He turned his whole body to her this time, walking backwards. A smirk played on one corner of his lips, midday sun caught his eyes, and her heart skipped a beat. “And you should’ve asked, “in thunder, lightning or in rain?” I thought you were better than that , genius.”

Take him and cut him out in the little stars.

Levi was beautiful. Hanji recalled the day she had first realized it, the faint yellow leaves and the crackling sound of fire. The realization had hit hard, and she couldn’t have understood the reason why right away. It was startling that was for sure but after some thorough and logical consideration, she had decided that it was all about being a teenager.

It was that simple. Thinking a boy was beautiful was natural. Besides, it wasn’t just Levi. Erwin, for instance, was attractive. With a sharp chin, bright, blue eyes and that shiny yellow hair that always looked so soft like cotton. He wasn’t necessarily beautiful though but attractive still, handsome even.

And he will make the face of Heaven so fine.

Levi turned his back to her again and Hanji snorted, opening the straw of her chocolate milk. “He got me bad.”

When she put the straw between her lips for a long sip, she realized the silence that has settled on the table and when she took a glance above her glasses, she saw the three other girls looking at her.

“What?” she asked after gulping.

“What’s with you two?”

“Huh?”

It was Nifa again and this time the question was directed at her. “You and Levi?”

Hanji blinked, trying to reason her question. “What about us?”

“You seem close,” Petra added instead of Nifa. Her hazel eyes curious as she observed Hanji. “Like real close.”

Hanji frowned and pushed her glasses back to their proper place. “We are best friends.” They seriously hadn’t understood it for a year?

“I bet everyone thinks you’re dating,” Nifa said laughing.

Oh? “That’s ridiculous,” Hanji said, shaking her head. “Why would I date my best friend?”

Nifa shrugged, and Petra looked thoughtful. “How long have you been friends?”

Hanji didn’t know why but she felt her stomach curl. “Since we were eleven.”

Petra hummed and the conversation seemed to be over like that. Hanji chewed the plastic stick thoughtfully and with distress, she couldn’t find the reason why. The curl stayed solid in her stomach, sharp and insistent. Absently she noticed that Petra was staring somewhere with a strange expression in her eyes and when Hanji followed her stare, she saw Levi standing in front of the bench the other boys were sitting. Mike who was standing next to him had wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and he looked content, his features relaxed, his black hair looked smooth touching his forehead.

That all the world will be in love with the night.

Goddamn Juliet, she thought bitterly, frowning she took her eyes away from him. Goddamn Shakespeare.

“What did you want to talk to me about?”

It was Wednesday afternoon on a nice autumn day. Near them was a tree slowly getting peeled off its leaves, and the clouds were reflecting the orange light the sun created. It was also reflecting on her ginger hair, making it shine almost yellow.

“I, uh…” Petra cleared her throat, squeezed her hair behind her ear as the blush that had appeared on her cheeks gradually became more visible. “This is harder than I expected.”

Levi raised his brows. He had been wondering what Petra wanted to talk to him ever since she asked him if they could meet after school in the backyard this morning. He had found it a little awkward because it had felt like she wanted to talk to him in private and he couldn’t have thought of any reason why she would wish for that.

“You look nervous,” he told her.

“Well, of course, I am,” Petra laughed, not a cheerful one. “I am trying to…”

She let out a sharp breath as if she was angry at herself and she wasn’t looking at him too. Her eyes were scanning their feet, her fingers were fidgeting, brows furrowed.

And Levi was quietly getting an idea about why she wanted to talk to him.

“Just tell me,” He tried to encourage her, feeling his own heartbeat getting faster abruptly.

Finally, she looked up at him, her cheeks painted crimson and she took a long, deep breath before she said, “Would you like to go to the cinema with me?”

“Oh,” he said.

Not the kind of reaction he should’ve given apparently. Petra bit her lower lip anxiously at first, searching his eyes. He must be pretty shocked for she looked a little discouraged upon his reaction. But within seconds she gathered herself up, her shoulders held high.

“I… liked you since the seventh grade,” she said, the blush spread from her cheeks to her neck, but she continued to be resolute without looking anywhere else than him. “And I thought that there is nothing wrong with asking a boy out if that boy doesn’t seem to be doing it anytime close.”

Levi felt his own cheeks heating up. Admittedly, he had never realized Petra had such feelings for him. “Sorry.”

Petra laughed, somewhat forcefully. “It’s okay,” she gulped, and a weak smile vibrated on her lips. “Just don’t be harsh if you’re gonna say no.”

Levi considered her offer quietly. Petra had always been a good friend and she was a nice person too. Kind, tidy and even funny. She loved painting and drawing and was pretty gifted at them as well. And she smelled fresh, Levi guessed it was because of the softener she used on her clothes, her hair was soft, and her eyes were pretty.

“When do you want to go?”

Said pretty eyes glittered as she beamed at him. For a second, in the back of his mind, he saw a very similar image belonging to another girl with auburn hair and hazel-brown eyes who had a smile that reminded him of the rainbow after rain and sun.

“What about this Friday after school?” Petra asked, excitedly.

“Sure,” Levi responded, trying to smile and ignore the weird feeling in his stomach.

When he stepped into the roof, the night was chilly, the sky was full of transparent, quietly moving clouds, the stars were shining behind them, the Wanning Gibbous was hanging low on the horizon, and Hanji was standing on the edge of the roof, her head laid backwards.

Levi didn’t even know if he breathed, his heart jumped to his throat as he threw his schoolbag to the ground and walked closer to her from behind cautiously. “Hanji, what the fuck are you doing?”

“Watching the sky,” she replied, smiling.

Levi felt a muscle move on his jaw; his heart was beating so loud it almost hurt his ears. He focused on adjusting his breaths. In and out. “Don’t be ridiculous. Get back down.”

Hanji shrugged and Levi nearly had a heart attack right then and there. He felt his eyes widen, and his breath hitched. “I feel closer to the clouds like this.”

“Hanji,” he took slow, careful steps towards her. The night breeze was toying with her dispersed hair, her face was tranquil, her eyes never left the sight of the clouds. The smile that was drawn on her lips was unmoving like it was craved there by the hands of a masterful sculptor. And he watched her, his heart still beating fast and loud, his breaths irregular, and his eyes wide, and he thought about—

Stars

how free she looked at that moment like she belonged to the sky, the stars and the moon. As if they shone for her only.

hide your fires.

Brown hair and brown eyes but Hanji was luminous. She kept the colours hidden, had a brush and a palette ready in her hand. The murky night did nothing but to contrast the light, she had a way with the world which made her stood out among the dullest of sounds and faces. Even on top of a derelict building, she was—

Let not light see—

the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

He grabbed her wrist, inhaling hard and thick then he drew her back with a quick move of his arm. Her body turned and crashed against him, and he stumbled backwards a few steps, but he kept his balance, wrapping his arms around her waist securely, without any intention of letting go. He vaguely heard the surprised shriek Hanji made upon his unexpected move. And he half-expected her to push him back, to laugh it off and to say that he was being dramatic again. That nothing was going to happen anyway, it wasn’t like she was going to jump.

Yet instead, her arms circled his neck as she rested her cheek on his head and at that very moment Levi realized that he had never thought of losing her, of what would happen if she were to leave his life. Just like he had never imagined a day without the sun rising. The thought was uninvited and unwelcomed, and it cropped a fear in his heart so profound, he drew a shivering breath in before he buried his face on her neck. Then he pushed that thought deep down to the dungeon in his head never to see daylight again.

“I’m okay, you know,” Hanji spoke after seconds.

“Stupid,” he said, holding her tighter. “Stupid four-eyes.”

“Mm,” she muttered, amused. Then she started to move left and right making him follow her movements as if they were dancing. “I’m going to let all the world know that Levi Ackerman cares for me.”

Levi placed his forehead on her shoulder, pressing hard. “Someone needs to care for your sorry ass, or you’ll drop it down a goddamn building.”

She laughed, and it felt so good to hear it he immediately craved the sound soon as it faded away. Hanji stopped moving afterwards, then put her hands on his shoulder to push him slightly back. He withdrew reluctantly but kept his hands on either side of her waist not ready to let go just yet.

Her eyes were somewhat misty as she watched him, as the sharp peak of a mountain lost behind a grey fog. Levi frowned at her, searching for a sturdy branch to hold and to obtain some kind of a clue about what she was thinking. He came back empty-handed, and Hanji snapped out of it soon after, smiling at him brightly and warm. Her hair was all over her face, her glasses were askew, and he brought a hand up to fix them.

Then he flicked her forehead instead.

“Ouch!” She exclaimed, touching the slightly damaged skin.

“That was for almost giving me a heart attack,” Levi said nonchalantly and walked past her to grab his schoolbag. Then he sat down, bag between his legs as he searched for the snacks he bought after school.

“Geez, I’m sorry,” Hanji muttered as she placed herself next to him. “But you were just being dramatic. I wasn’t going to jump anyway.”

So, here was the thing, he needed to tell Hanji.

But he didn’t know how. Through all those years they had been friends, there had never been a secret among them. He knew everything about her. From the fact that she had fed a frog in her room when she was only seven without telling neither of her parents and how she accidentally killed the poor animal by forgetting to feed it properly. And to the very first crush, she secretly had on a boy who didn’t even know who she was when she was ten. Each and every detail in between had been craved in his head, everything about her was a book he had learnt by heart, and he knew that for her it was the same.

He didn’t understand why he was so unwilling now about telling her about Petra. Frankly, he was going to tell her yesterday but when he saw her standing on the edge of the goddamn roof, he had forgotten all about it in a second. Thursday, which was today, he couldn’t have found a chance to talk to her alone and tomorrow was Friday. And he had no idea what the hell he was supposed to do.

Levi traced the shadows on the ceiling with his eyes, lying on his bed. It was near eleven pm but he didn’t have any sleep. Should he call Hanji? But no. It wasn’t something he could tell on the phone. It would be absurd and out of nowhere—

His phone started to vibrate on the bedside table.

He jumped a little, surprised at hearing a sound other than the voices in his head then stared at the phone for a while until he decided that it was going to ring till he opened it. And so, he did.

“I thought you had fallen asleep,” Hanji spoke before him as he lied back down, eyes fixed on the ceiling.

“I was trying to,” he lied.

“Oh, sorry,” she apologized without sounding a bit sincere. “But this is more important than your sleep so…”

He raised a brow. “What did you learn again?”

“A lot of things. But that is not the reason why I called.” Levi heard some clatter he guessed it was the pressing of the computer keys. “I found a new song.”

He exhaled, wearily. “Seriously?”

“Wait before you judge,” she said. “Do you remember the time when you said, this is going to sound weird but, I was a rainbow?”

“No.”

“I hate you,” she said, darkly. “It was our first time in the attic. I had told you about –”

“I know, Hanji.” He rolled his eyes. “Of course, I remember.”

She grunted and said some things he couldn’t quite pick clearly under her breath. “You don’t really deserve this but since I’m a nice person I’ll let you listen to it.”

He snorted, lips curling on the corners, and he waited for the song to start. And not long after, he heard the first notes, then a soft voice of a woman followed. He also heard Hanji accompanying quietly behind, murmuring the lyrics alongside. Then he closed his eyes to focus on the song properly.

Dearest, I'm broken

My body is unspoken

How could I be loved?

Wake up in the morning

Feeling uncertain

Like a burning old scar

For I remember

The joy I’ve had as a child

Various colours I’m hiding inside

She’s a rainbow

And I am

A difficult man

It was as if the song, the lyrics, the notes, the singer’s voice were each had little hooks, they captured his soul relentlessly. He felt captive, unable to move. The song made him feel way too many things, with an intensity that nearly choke him as he lied there. His throat felt tight, even after the song ended, notes faded, and all he could hear was Hanji’s regular breaths a complete opposite of how his heart pounded at the moment.

“So?” She asked when he was unable to speak. “What do you think?”

Levi cleared his throat, he needed to talk dammit. “It was nice.”

“Just nice?” She didn’t sound pleased at his response. “But you have to listen to it every day Levi so that you wouldn’t forget me.”

“Forget you?” Was she kidding?

“We don’t know where life would take us,” Hanji told him, her voice calm now. “It’s the reality of the world. I’m just guarantying myself.”

Oh, so she didn’t know? That no matter where life carried him, no matter how high and wild the waves would be it would change nothing. The sun would rise from the west, and all the world would crumble, melt and disappear. But he wouldn’t forget her.

“What if you forget me?” Levi redirected the question to her, wondering her answer.

“I wouldn’t,” she said, not hesitating.

“How do you know?”

“If I’m a rainbow then that would make you the sky, remember?” Some distinct shuffling came to his ears, and he imagined her lying on her side, the phone still on speaker resting on top of her pillow. “Whenever I look up at the sky, I will think about you.”

“Sappy,” he whispered, ignoring the aftershock her words caused.

She chuckled in response and yawned loudly. “Only for you, clean-freak.”

Friday after the last class ended Hanji gathered up her things quickly. It had been an incredibly long and tiring week. She couldn’t wait to spend some time with Levi on the roof, just talking about things that didn’t matter, things that were easy to speak of because they were still young and had years ahead to take them seriously.

She waited for Levi outside, leaning against the school building as he went to the bathroom. She busied herself with observing the exhausted students leaving the school borders, chattering between themselves. It was getting chilly and the black denim jacket she was wearing didn’t do a good job at protecting her. She pulled the sleeves of her sweater to her palms to at least cover her hands. She spotted Petra a few inches away from where she was standing. She was walking back and forth, fiddling with a piece of paper she held in her hands. Hanji found it a little strange but shrugged, deciding it wasn’t her business.

Finally, among the rain of students that walked through the school gate, Levi appeared. His face and some parts of his hair damp, indicating that he had just washed his face.

“Feeling refreshed enough?” Hanji asked, smirking.

“Yeah,” Levi murmured, and he looked around briefly.

“Come on,” Hanji pushed herself up from the wall. “Let’s go. We better grab something to eat on the way. I’m starving.”

She had taken only a few steps when she heard Levi calling out to her quietly. “Hanji.”

“Mm?”

He appeared to be uneasy as he looked at her, brows knitted, and lips pressed. Curiosity rose within her swiftly as she expected the words he was about to say.

“I can’t come to the roof with you today.”

Of all the things she thought about that was the least, she had expected to hear. Her stomach started to burn again, and she imagined a cauldron inside. Burning so fiercely and it never promised anything good. “Why?” Hanji asked, sounding just as surprised as she possibly looked.

Levi’s eyes moved to somewhere above her shoulder. She wanted to trace his stare but was too busy observing his expression, a little anxious, tense and what? Embarrassed? But why?

“Levi?”

“I… am going to the cinema,” he blurted eventually, his eyes finding her again. “With Petra.”

Cinema… with Petra?

“As a date?” She sounded bewildered again as if she couldn’t believe her ears. It wasn’t something to be that surprised about considering their age, hormones and everything. But it was Levi. Levi… It had always been the two of them, now imagining him spending time alone with someone else—she hadn’t prepared herself for that.

“I guess,” Levi rubbed his neck. Oh, he was shy about it too? Was he excited, was he looking forward to it? Was he going to hold her hand as he held hers? Did he even like her? When had this thing happened anyway?

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

He seemed guilty, and he should be too. They were best friends for a reason. If she wasn’t going to be the first one to know about his first date, what was the point to it?

“It happened just this Wednesday. I couldn’t find a proper time—”

“This Wednesday?” She tried not to reflect her disappointment in her voice. “It was two days ago, mind you. You had plenty of time.”

“Hanji—”

“Did you ask her out?” Hanji went on, not giving him any chance to speak. “How long have you liked her?”

“It’s not—” He frowned, his jaw tightened, and a blaze came to life in his eyes. “She asked me.”

“Oh? How brave!” She felt like laughing and somewhere deep inside she knew that she was exaggerating, that she should be happy for him instead. Yet the disappointment was much heavier, and it stood out so blatantly, so arrogantly that it didn’t give her any time to think reasonably.

“Hanji, don’t.” He stepped forward but she withdrew in an instant.

“Have a nice date,” she said, and she failed at hiding the sarcasm behind. And she thought she saw a flickering of hurt in his eyes but didn’t stay long enough to acknowledge it. With a final look she gave to a confused Petra, she walked out of school. And the cauldron bubbled, bubbled and it burned, and it hurt. Then Hanji wished it would turn the wildflower to ashes to its roots so that it wouldn’t spring again. Wishful thinking it was because the wildflower was already the reason why the flames come alive in the first place.

Hanji didn’t quite remember when or how but she was sitting on the swing on the park near Levi’s house, the park they had buried the dead bird all those years ago. Strange how the years passed. She felt old for some reason despite the fact that she was only sixteen and life hadn’t even started for her yet. But she yearned for that little girl now, playing snowball fight with a boy who drank a little too much tea and swore a little too much for their age. Then she cursed at herself for being so frail, for letting her emotions draw the road she would walk.

The streetlamp near the park had a weak light. It trembled from time to time, squeaking as if it was at death’s door. She pondered it was a good metaphor as to how she felt now. Exaggerating? Maybe. But Levi had become such a constant in her life, it felt like the time Jack had crashed her glasses. She remembered how blurry everything seemed and how dizzy she had felt.

“Hanji?”

She blinked and following the voice she lifted her eyes up from the ground. It was Erwin, standing in front of her, with a curious expression painted on his face. What was he doing here?

“Are you okay?”

“Huh?” Hanji shook her head, realizing that she had been blinking at Erwin absently. Then nodded, voicing a half-hearted chuckle. “Yeah, I’m fine. What are you doing here?”

He sat down on the swing next to her, dropping his school bag on the ground. It was a funny sight. A boy of Erwin’s age and height sitting on a child swing. His legs were much too long for that, but he used them to move back and forth slowly.

“I was just passing by,” he said, shrugging. “What are you doing here alone? Where’s Levi?”

She didn’t need to be reminded of the fact that whenever someone saw one of them alone, they immediately wondered where the other was. I am acting like a child. Then she started to move back and forth herself, holding the chains on either side. “He is on a date,” she informed Erwin. “With Petra.”

Then the movements of her legs fastened to the point where she had to curl them so that they wouldn’t slow her down. She used her body against the wind, it ruffled her hair, and her hair blocked her vision. And she thought about Levi who was with Petra and Petra who was kind and pretty. Petra who had shiny hair which was always combed and tidy. Petra who was funny and nice and—

“Hanji!”

Ah, her vision was blurry. Had she dropped her glasses again?

“Hey, slow down!”

She couldn’t slow down but someone, Erwin, she remembered, made her. He was holding the sides of the swing, kneeling down in front of her, he looked into her eyes. Hanji noticed his eyes were a different kind of blue not so fierce like the winter ocean, but kind and worried at the moment. Yellow, thick eyebrows knitted, “Are you okay?” Erwin asked.

It was the second time he had asked the same question and it confused her a bit. Did she look that bad? “Yeah,” she confirmed. Her voice came out cracked.

Then Erwin reached out with his hand. Hanji waited silently as he wiped her cheek with his thumb and under her chin with his knuckles. His hand shone under the shrieking light of the streetlamp when he withdrew it, with tears, she realized with a startle. She lifted her hand then, her eyes wide and touched her damp cheek.

“I can walk you home if you’d like,” Erwin offered with a voice so gentle Hanji thought she hated it. Hated because she didn’t want pity when she was the one that had brought this upon herself.

She blinked at her wet fingers, her sight getting blurry again and used her other hand to adjust her glasses. She could walk herself home, and she opened her mouth to say that much to Erwin. But words betrayed her half-way and what came out was, “I’d appreciate that,” instead, as she accepted, silently. “Thank you.”

#levihan #levihan fanfiction

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sasa-gay-yo · 3 years

Text

Just Us (Chapter Twelve: Sleep)

←Chapter Eleven

“You know, you don’t always have to come down here. You can stay upstairs.” I set the refilled teacup of the table looking down at the book he’d taken from my bookcase upstairs. It was a fairytale book Mr. Flynn had bought me when I was fourteen, so it couldn’t have been interesting enough for him to reread. He just flipped the page and picked up the teacup in the way he always does and I sat down in the chair next to him, prolonging the closing cleaning process.

A cold rain washed over Trost today and that made it easy for customers to drag in tons of mud. I’d taken time to clean it at noon, because Levi told me too, but now it was raining again and the last of the customers didn’t stop to wipe their feet on the entry rug. It would take me forever to scrub the dried mud off the floors; probably until after my regularly scheduled dinner time.

“If I don’t come, you won’t ever clean.” I rolled my eyes at him and reached down to take a sip of his tea. Today, I added a little less honey.

“I do clean, just apparently not to your standard. I receive full marks on inspection days.” He took the cup directly from my hand and had another sip. The first day he was here, he told me that the backroom was infested with the plague because he saw a single fly and always made me go back and get something while he worked on kneading tomorrow’s fresh bread.

I stood up and grabbed a wash rag, aiming to get all the tables and chairs done in a swift thirty minutes before dragging the mop out of the back room. Levi grabbed my hand lightly when I turned away and I looked back over my shoulder. He had put down the book and his cup, going to stand up.

“I’ll help you. To make it faster.” He took the wash rag from my hand and turned right away to wash the table he’d been sitting at. I smiled at him leaning against another table to watch him. He fit well with the café. It made me think about the future. It was embarrassing to even think about a future in this world, but when I did, it was always Levi behind the counter helping me serve pastries and coffee, no titans or Scouts in sight. Those thoughts had increased over the past three days he’d been here, helping me knead and portion dough every morning after he’d wake me up. It was a slice of domestic bliss combined with us trying to get at each other with words, me, or a body, him.

Over the last few days with him, I realized what might be his issue. While saying and expressing emotion was hard for him, being too personal and intimate, he didn’t have a problem expressing his physical self. Most of the time, physical meant teasing me with his body or a way he held me. Still, every time I would say something suggestive or comment on how cute he looked with a white bandana holding back his hair, he would become a stuttering mess.

I didn’t want him to confirm it, but it had to be because of what happened in the Underground. He could never be intimate with anyone, never showing his true emotions, but he probably and easily had gotten into physical relationships with others. If that was true, he was more accustomed to using his body to arouse reactions from others then telling them what he was actually thinking or feeling. I’d have to ask him some time, but every time he would do something physical towards me, brush the small of my back when he went behind the counter or come out of the bathroom shirtless, I was too flustered to do anything. Then when it came to actually kissing me (which he hadn’t done yet), being emotionally open, or sleeping in my bed (again, hasn’t done yet), he would shy away because of how intimate it was. It scared him to be open, even with me. I’d have to help him.

“Levi, what do you think about running the shop with me? In the future when there’s no more titans.” He stopped cleaning the tables, freezing up. I should’ve known better than asking him something like this again.

Just staring down at his hands he answered, his voice tough, “Don’t talk about the future right now.” I was taken aback by his tone, but decided not to push him. Perhaps that was another thing that scared him to talk about. I’d have to romanticize myself.

Late in the night, when he was reading another one of my books and I was counting out expenses, I was bold enough to ask again.

“Why can’t we talk about the future?” I saw the same reaction. He froze up, looking at me over the book with a harsh gaze. It also made me shrug away from him.

“I’ll hate myself when it doesn’t happen.” Again, short and terse. This happened a day or two ago too. I asked him about the plans the Scouts had made for next year, thinking if I could plan out when I’d see him next or not. He froze then too, telling me that he didn’t know and there ended that conversation. It made me question what was going on with the Scouts or within Levi. If it was some form of emotional turmoil, if I wasn’t the one getting him to talk, it would just be left up in the air.

“Do you want to sleep with me tonight?” Again he glanced over the book, but you could see that he was back to his flustered self.

“Maybe word it better, Eva?” You smirked at him, leaning back on the couch. The tense aura of a few seconds ago faded away. That’s why you weren’t that worried about it currently. He would snap once or twice throughout the day, but everything else was normal.

“Why? We’ve been dating for almost a year. We could do both.” Again, it was so easy for me to say stuff like this, but my heart was still racing. Every time I asked, I was just waiting for the day he said yes.

“I haven’t seen you in six months.” I laid down on the couch, looking over at him and he pushed the book up all the way so I couldn’t see his face. I huffed and rolled to look at the ceiling.

“Shouldn’t that be more reason to?” He just shrugged and I closed my eyes, trying to think of something else to talk about. I made him explain everything in our letters and about the work that Erwin had him doing. Besides the obvious confidential stuff, he was just training new cadets and attending meetings about January’s big expedition. When I pushed him about why it was so big, he wouldn’t tell me. It had to involve something important if Levi, Erwin, and Hange all mentioned it.

“Levi, let’s take a walk.” He grunted ‘no’ from behind the book and I turned to look at him again. How long could he just read books and sit here? How many books has he read since he’s been here? It seems like the only thing he wanted to do was finish my bookshelf and terrorize me with his abs for thirty minutes out of the day.

“Why noooooooot?” I sat up again on the couch so that you could see his face over the book. Only his eyes shifted to look at me, a neutral expression painting his face. He didn’t see a need for a walk, so he wasn’t going to go on one. I was going to force him.

“It’s cold.”

“But you can wear a coat! I can lend you a sweater, we’re the same size. Please? It’s something to do,” I begged, putting my hands together so he saw how much I wanted to go on a walk. I stayed in that position for a minute, hoping he would agree because I looked ridiculous like that. When he sighed and put the book down, I smiled, knowing that I won. He saw my smile too, pulling an annoyed face.

“Give me a sweater. And we’re not the same size.” I hopped up, running to my room to grab one and pull another one over me. It was incredibly cold outside and I knew that I was going to freeze, but at least I was doing something with Levi. It was better than sitting inside and staring at him all night.

“If you complain that you’re cold, we’re coming back right away.” He wrapped a green scarf around his neck and I wished I had one like that, pulling only my coat’s hood to cover my ears. Yet, I bounced down the stairs, staring up at him from the bottom as he took his normal pace. It made me giddy inside, going on my first night walk with him. This was something that I would do often, even in the Underground. When I’d came to Mr. Flynn, he still couldn’t get me to stop. I would sneak out and walk around Trost at one in the morning, just letting the time pass by. It was near two now.

Jonas used to walk with me sometimes. When he’d stay at my house, I’d force him up for a walk and would have to hold him up as we walked. Now, I guess it was Levi who was entrapped in my tradition. At least he rarely slept. It would wake me up sometimes, not getting used to his presence in the house. A door opening, a candle lit in the bathroom, or the sound of a teapot hitting the metal of the sink would rouse me at four or five, only to realize it was Levi. I wondered how many books of mine he read at night when I was sleeping.

“The streets are so empty now. Normally, there are people coming in and out of bars still.” He just walked next to me, hands in his pockets. I was the leader, taking him down the main road, having no rhyme or reason in your direction. Wherever I would end up, I’d probably been there before and were able to walk back home.

“Do you always walk at this time?” He raised an eyebrow at me, and I smiled knowing why he was asking that question. I knew if I answered, he’d reprimand me for walking alone at night.

“Not always. I haven’t since Wall Maria fell. It’s just a way to clear my mind.”

“I’m sure this cold would freeze anyone’s brain, yes.” He brought his hands up to his mouth, blowing hot air on them. I did the same as my pockets weren’t really helping in keeping the cold away.

“It’s nice in the summertime, but I do prefer colder nights. That’s how it was when I was younger.” We both turned a corner, now at Trost’s city center. The lanterns were on their last bit of oil for the night, so everything was dark except for the moonlight. It was pretty, but it would be better if the courtyard was taken better care of. After Maria, no one cared for pretty things. The titans would eat us, trimmed flower beds or not. One nice thing to look at was Levi and the way the moonlight reflected off of his hair and skin. Funny how he was the brightest at night.

“Hange once told me that people stay awake late at night because they’re unable to control the day. One doesn’t have to worry about others if they’re the only one up, so they stay up to relish in it.”

“Is that why you stay up so late?” He laughed lowly, shoving his hands back in his pockets as we exited the courtyard and went back to only having the light of the oil lamps lining the street. He went back to being dull.

“Perhaps. It’s not the only reason. I’m asking you if that’s why you go on these walks. You’re able to experience the world you live in without all the annoying ramblings of people.” I looked up at the sky, thinking about why I took these walks. It really wasn’t any philosophical reason like he was mocking it up to be. Whenever I took walks in the Underground, I never got to be away from people, so that probably wasn’t why.

“I… I don’t know why I walk. It seems to be relaxing. Maybe since I spend the day inside a room with people coming in and out, it’s better to end the night out here. I can think clearly without someone asking me for a refill. Besides, I don’t stay up late compared to you. After I get home, I’m going to bed. What will you be doing?” I shivered as a cold wind blew down the alleyway and I saw the way he glanced over at me, waiting for me to complain. I made sure to pull my coat tighter around me, but keep my mouth shut. He would turn back just because he wanted to spite me.

Surprisingly, he lifted his scarf off his head, and shoved it over mine, pulling it tight. He mumbled something about not getting sick under his breath, and I smiled, pulling the scarf above my nose. It was warm, and so were my cheeks after that small display of care. Even if he messed up my hair, it was worth it. I was warm and got to smell him as I walked.

“I usually sleep for an hour and then read a book or think out some maneuvers Erwin has suggested. The small chalkboard you have in the one room is quite convenient. You don’t seem to use that room at all, so I put some of my papers in it. I hope you don’t mind.” Something about Levi setting up shop in my study made me feel warm too. He was making a permanent place in my house. That had to mean something right? If he left his papers there, then he would have to keep coming back to get them. If he needed to work away from the HQ, away from the cadet’s or Hange’s interruptions, he had a place here. I wonder if he realized that yet or if he was subconsciously making permanence.

“That was the boy’s old room and Mr. Flynn’s office. The desk and books are all his, but he bought the chalkboard for Ben a long time ago. I only use the desk sometimes when I’m writing letters to a certain someone.” He took his hands out of his pockets to blow on them again, probably hiding the blush my words caused him.

“Imagine someone looking down and seeing Captain Levi of the Survey Corps blushing.” He threw me a glare and lowered his hands to his sides.

“The only reason I agreed to this walk is because it’s late at night. Don’t think I’ll walk with you during the daytime like this.” You pouted up to him, but it seemed to have no affect. You looked down at his hands, hanging by his side. The vow you made instantly popped in your head as you wanted to reach down and hold his hand. If he was being generous now, then maybe he would let me. I mean, this whole week he’s been nothing but physically suggestive, so if he shies away from holding my hand, I could use that to tease him back. He also gave me the scarf, so I could make something up about my hands being cold. Is holding hands too intimate for the Captain? And it wasn’t like holding him either, it was just hands. Why was I obsessing over this, I’ve held many peoples hands before? But he probably hasn’t.

I decided to go for it.

I got closer to his side so our shoulders were brushing. When he didn’t move or react, that pushed me even more to reach down and grab his hand. I entwined our fingers quickly and his grip tightened to an almost, intolerable tightness. He even stopped walking to hold up our entwined hands to eye level.

“W-what are you doing?” Still, he didn’t pull away from me. That was my fuel.

“I’m holding my boyfriend’s hand at night since I can’t do it during the day. Do you not want to?”

“I-I...uh - um.” He dropped our hands down, turning so I had no direct view to his face. My smile widened as his grip loosened and I faced no resistance.

“Come on,” I pulled him a bit and he started walking again, his face still looking everywhere but at mine. His hand was warm, slim with long fingers that almost covered the complete back of my hand. They were rough too. I could feel the callouses from years and years of wielding knives and the ODM gear swords. It was a weird juxtaposition to my hands that were rough only because of physical ailment and making bread almost everyday. They were softer though, Levi having given me another refill of balm from the capital.

Levi cleared his throat, “I think boyfriend is a bit… childish? I’m thirty.” I snickered, thinking back to our time on the meadow inside Wall Rose. It also made me replay the dream I once had, but I pushed that away. I would have that dream probably once a month, or other variations. Levi is eaten by a titan, Levi is taken away by the Royal Government, so on and so forth. I didn’t know why it kept replaying, but I would wake up in a cold sweat and bile rising to my throat. Since Levi was here, however, I haven’t had it yet.

“We’ve talked about this. Once you give me a better alternative, then I’ll agree. Domestic partner is way too formal, and you’re not calling me your Comrade in Arms either. I think ‘my boyfriend’ is just fine. What do you call me with Erwin and Hange?” He just shrugged.

“Your name. What else would you like? Hange likes to talk about you quite a bit, so I’ll have time to use it.” That made me a bit happy. Levi would talk about me during his normal day, or, rather, he’d probably listen to Hange say things and only answer them in his head. At least he would think about me.

“Do I get a special title since I’m dating you now? Co-Captain? Co-Captain Flynn. That has a nice ring.” Levi huffed once, but I sensed it was him trying to hide a laugh. I was bouncing around him like a child, hands still connected. His face seemed amused at least and I could tell once he saw my smile, he softened up more.

“No, you can’t be Co-Captain. What do you know about the military? You’re not even at cadet ranking.”

“Fly on wires, have big knives, hit titan’s neck.” This time he couldn’t hide his smile as he shook his head, looking down again at our hands.

“It takes the average cadet two years to become proficient with their ODM gear. Even more to master it. You make it sound much easier than it is. Do you want to try ODM gear?” I shook my free hand around wildly, making a face.

“I’m fine on the ground.”

“I could take you into the trees. You could just hold onto me while I flew around.” I shook my head this time and he sighed. It seemed at that point he just wanted to show off to me instead of actually teach. It was cute, but I was never going to get off the ground on that death machine, even if it meant I got to latch onto him.

“I heard that the ODM gear is really heavy. You probably won’t be able to lift me and it.” It was his turn to shake his head at me.

“You’re easily lighter than it. Combined it’s about fifty six kilograms.” My eyes probably were probably the size of the moon and it made me stop walking.

“You mean you did all those flips and stuff with that on?!” He smirked at me, nodding, pulling on my hand to keep walking. This made me blush a little, but I followed, realizing I led us on the way back home. It was probably a few more minutes till we reached the bakery.

“That’s why your shoulders are so broad! You have to carry that around all day.” I could hear his breath catch in his throat. So much for being bold and pulling me along with him.

“Complimenting me won’t get me in your bed, Eva.” I mimicked his voice and turned my face away from him.

“Just take the compliment, hm.” I would’ve crossed my arms if my hand wasn’t in his, but I wasn’t going to unclasp them because then he probably wouldn’t let me hold his hand again. We walked for a bit more in silence as I tried to keep up my act, but I was quickly getting annoyed. Levi was fine if I didn’t talk to him, and ignoring him didn’t do anything.

“Why are you so adamant that I sleep in your bed? I don’t even sleep, it would be annoying for you to wake up when I get up. I know you already wake up because of the noise I make.” I was shocked that he asked me that. It sounded like something he would just keep in his head and try to answer it. It made me feel a bit better that he was making an effort to understand. I could tell by the tone of his voice it was a serious question.

“It’s just nice to fall asleep having someone next to you. Sometimes you can cuddle too, but I don’t think you’d do that, and who knows, maybe when you sleep with me you won’t wake up. I have a calming effect on you, remember?” I was referring to all the times he’s laid his head on my lap. While we haven’t had such close contact like the night before he left, he still would lay his head in my lap to read a book or look over some papers. At first, it would shock me when he initiated, but it also made my heart burst. Soon, even if it was only over the last three days, it became common practice. I would sit down on the couch after dinner or coming back from the bakery if I had nothing to attend to and he would come to lay his head down on my lap, and sometimes he would read the book out loud or ask me for my opinion.

“Have you done it with other people?” Oh. His tone changed when he asked that question. Or maybe he was gauging how comfortable it would be for me.

“Yes, I have.”

“Jonas?” Hearing his name out of Levi’s mouth hurt a bit. It hadn’t even been a week since we fought, and I haven’t seen him since. He’d sent another delivery driver and since there was no festival, there was no way to see him. I asked Ben in passing, but he just shrugged. After he came home from the bakery, Jonas was gone. He does not meddle in his kids' lives enough to keep tabs on them. I sighed before answering.

“Yes, with him. It’s just sleeping though.” He grunted and I noticed he gripped my hand a little tighter.

“Did it happen when I was gone?” Was he… jealous? This was new.

“Yes, it did. I had… Well, I have nightmares sometimes. Don’t worry though, after we started dating, I’d kick him out after he calmed me down. Even when we were little, he would sleep next to me so I wouldn’t wake up scared and alone. It just turned into a habit.” I scratched the back of my head, seeing his point of view as well as Jonas’s. That was another thing I should’ve stopped when I found out he liked me, but I was selfish and needed the emotional support sometimes.

“You haven’t had a nightmare since I’ve been here. I would know.” I could see the bakery up ahead of me, the sign blowing in the wind.

“You’re right, I haven’t.” He nodded.

“If I hear you having a nightmare, I’ll sleep with you then.” I hummed in agreement, knowing that even that was a hard decision for him to make. Finally reaching the stairs, I went up one before Levi pulled me to stop. He just stood at the edge of the stairs, staring up at me while holding on to my hand.

“I apologize for not knowing how to do any of this.” My eyes softened down at him and turned to face him straight on.

“Don’t apologize. I know you haven’t ever had feelings like this before. It makes sense that you don’t know how to interpret them or interpret mine.” He shook his head slowly.

“No, it’s not an excuse. I should learn, I just… I just don’t know about certain things.” I put my hand on his cheek, giving him a reassuring smile.

“Thank you for sharing this emotion with me, though. That’s all I ask for. Don’t hide things you don’t need to from me.” He grumbled, shifting down to look at the stairs. There was no blush, but I could tell what I said had an effect. There was something he wanted to tell me, but he was still uncomfortable saying it outloud. I wondered who made him this way in the Underground. I was the same way when Mr. Flynn found me, but he made me find happiness. He let me trust humans again. I would have to do the same to Levi.

“The reason… well, one of the reasons.” He gripped my hand harder, gritting his teeth. It hurt me to see this physically hurt him.

“You don’t need to explain it to me, Levi. If it’s too hard to-” He took one step up on the same stair as me, making sure he was close as he could be. He took my other hand too, closing his eyes and clenching his jaw.

“I owe you an explanation. Even if I feel so weak telling you things like this, I need to tell you. I promised to tell you.” His eyes opened and the emotion was back again. The one when I gave him the tea set and when I held him that night on the couch. My heart sped up as the atmosphere around us morphed into a cloud of that emotion.

“When I slept in other’s beds, it was only to leave before they could wake up. The few that I’ve ever been in, it was only for a fast physical relief. So when you invite me to sleep in your bed, I think only of those moments. I only think of that connotation. When you ask me to sleep with you, I can only picture the end result of a regretful night in the Underground. I don’t want that with you. I respect you more and I actually feel something for you. I can’t just be so casually physical with you, it holds more weight now. Even when saying that, I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how to not be casually physical with you when that’s all I know. So I’m cautious. I stop myself from doing certain things because I feel I’ll end up with the same result from not knowing better. I beat myself up inside after I do things like that because I don’t want to do that to you.” Those words almost took my breath away. No man I’ve been with has given me such consideration. Has put such value on me. It was like I had previously thought. The only way he knows how to express is physically, so when the line blurs, he doesn’t know what to do.

“Is that why you haven’t kissed me back yet?” This time he did flush a bit, turning his head to the side. Yet, he kept on being vulnerable which made me want to take him in my arms and thank him. I knew how hard this all was for him, but at the same time, I didn’t. How many years has he gone without meaningful interaction with someone else?

“Yes, it is. I’ve never - it’s never been emotionally charged for me. I’m scared that if I kiss you, it will turn out like the rest. I’ve never been kissed the way you kissed me in the café. What if I can’t do it?” I could see true worry in his eyes. He was like a child in front of me, deflating at each word. He was afraid of failing. Afraid of losing. That’s why he would always ask me before he did something. He was afraid of doing something wrong and resulting in the same harsh end he’s faced over and over again. I gripped his hands, moving my head so I could see his face completely. He wanted to hide from me, but I wasn’t going to let him.

“This isn’t going to be like before, Levi. This isn’t the Underground. You’re here with me, someone who’s stuck with you for almost a whole year. I’m not like the others you’ve been with either. You know that. And you’re - you’re not like them, Levi. You’ve held me. You’ve shown me emotion. You’ve been vulnerable with me. This happened to me too. It took me so long to realize that people up here weren’t going to hurt me like they do down there. People love up here. People want to live up here. People won’t leave you here. I won’t leave you like they have.” He grabbed me into a hug, this time without asking. It was how his body was manifesting whatever emotion I was making him feel. Maybe he did this to make me stop talking, who knows. He buried his face in my neck, one hand in my hair, the other still holding my hand.

“You’re not like them either,” he whispered into my neck, “You’re nothing like them. But one day, I might leave you forever.” I knew what he meant. One day, he might die and I’ll be alone. Still, I stand by what I told Erwin. He isn’t going to die. He’s Levi.

“I told you, don’t care.” He stood up, his hands staying where they were. His eyes were wide still, probably at the tone I gave him. I’ve had to tell him at least ten different times that I didn’t care about the possibility of him dying because I knew he wouldn’t. When I told him then, it was a bit harsh, but it’s what he needed to hear. I don’t care if there’s that possibility, I’m going to choose to live without fear. I tried to make sure he saw that in my eyes.

“The titans might come into Trost, and I’ll die. What then?” He gripped me harder shaking his head.

“No, I’ll save you before then. You’ll be the first one I save if that happens.” I huffed once in laughter, just lightly. I knew he was being serious and speaking the truth. If Trost somehow was breached by titans, he would knock down that door and take me up with him. That thought was at least a little comforting.

“I’ll save you, too. Somehow.” He leaned forward, looking up at my eyes as he did. His grip was still hard on my hand and in my hair so I wouldn’t move away. There was no chance of me moving away from him.

“I’m going to kiss you.” His breath wafted over my lips and I didn’t say anything. I just nodded to him, tilting my head the other way to give him some form of consent. He still couldn’t shake the habit of telling me, but I’d let it go for now.

When his lips locked with mine, finally on their own accord, I melted my body forward with his, trying to get as close as possible. The cold air around us seemed nonexistent as we both heated up in the cold. It started as one kiss, then another, then another. His lips were soft and he still tasted like the mint tea he was sipping on before I forced him to take a walk.

My stomach was twisting, I couldn’t think straight, and I had to stop myself from going on my tiptoes with the amount of passion he had put in the kiss. He was so worried about not being about to put in emotion after years of blanks, but here he was, kissing the life out of me. He was the one who would initiate another kiss and then another, pulling me close to his body feeling every curve. He was trying to show me all the emotion I’d given him. It was mind-numbing to think he was holding back this much. I was trying to follow him, not trying to get caught up and even more out of breath, but with no avail. No one had made me feel this way while their lips were on mine. How did I go through life never having kissed Levi? I didn’t want it to end, and I lifted my other hand up to his cheek, holding him there.

When my tongue glanced over his bottom lip, he lost his balance at that action, falling back and catching both of us with one hand on the stair railing. He pulled back and I was lightheaded, trying to catch my breath. He did the same, now not being able to look me in the eyes while his shoulders moved up and down in time with his deep breaths. They were almost gasps. We both had to catch our breath, the cold air coming back to fill our burning lungs. How badly did I want to reach down and do that again? It was going to be so addicting kissing him. Kissing him. I just kissed him. No, he just kissed me. Maybe nine or ten times. Each with blazing emotion that was still making me unable to speak. Just him kissing me was enough to make me dumb. It was dangerous to think about what he could do that would completely ruin me. I would welcome it so easily after experiencing this. It was just the tip of the iceberg.

“I-” I stopped him from saying anything. Was he going to apologize? Say something more self-degrading. I didn’t know and I didn’t care.

“I know, Levi,” I said, sounding almost breathless. Whatever it was, I seemed to satisfy it and he gripped my hand harder.

“L-let’s go up.”

“Goodnight then, yeah?” I stared at him from my doorway as he put the book down on his stomach to look back at me. This had to be the twentieth book he’d read while he was here. Soon, I’d have to buy him more because he’d have read every single one in my bookshelf.

“It’s so early for you to sleep though. The past week you went to bed always after three.” I rolled my eyes as him. He was the reason for that and he knew it. He was probably upset that I was sleeping this early, but I was tired.

“Well, last week someone learned how to kiss with their tongue and wanted to perfect the technique till three each night,” His face went beat red, and he stuttered again, picking up the book to read it so he didn’t have to respond, “Mhm, that’s what I thought.”

“Go to bed.” I crossed your arms over my chest looking at my empty bed.

“Not going to join me?” He scoffed, always being annoyed that I asked him. I’d always pull away from his lips, leaving him annoyed because he “wasn’t done practicing yet” and ask that question. He was probably tired of hearing it even though he made his intentions clear. Only if I need it because of a nightmare; those were his rules. But, with him here, I knew I would never have a nightmare.

“Dream about something scary and I will.” I pouted, but he refused to look at me, knowing I’d say something to further incriminate his actions over the past week. Once he kissed me, it seemed to open a floodgate of need. We’d do the same routine as before, I’d come back from making tomorrow’s loaves, he’d find a book and lay his head on my lap, but then suddenly he’d be pushing me against the couch, one hand next to my head and the other holding my cheek exploring some new technique I’d told him off hand. It was comically methodic, matching the same energy as practicing titan maneuvers. Maybe that’s how he built the courage for himself to do it, aligning it to a common day occurrence. Hey, practice makes perfect, and he was a perfectionist. I didn’t complain.

Yet, he never did anything but kiss me. He’d pull back once he was done practicing or if he decided it was getting too far, ask for a review, make a game plan for tomorrow, and then see it was pretty much the time I’d go to bed. It would make me laugh every time. Tonight was the night before year-end, so I had orders upon orders to fill and no time for Levi to get in some practice. That’s why he commented on how early it was for me to sleep, but he’d have to deal with it. Imagine if anyone saw him like this, he’d be mortified. It made me smug that he was like this just for me.

I turned around to go to bed, making sure the door was cracked only a little bit.

“Goodnight Eva,” he mumbled behind the door and I smiled before getting into bed. Tomorrow was going to be a very long day, but at least I had a guaranteed stress relieving session after… even if it left me with some pent up energy… and even if he was leaving in another day or two. I closed my eyes not thinking about it, falling asleep to Levi turning the pages of his book every so often.

Yet, my sound sleep was interrupted sometime later. I didn’t know what time it was, but I did know that all the candles and lamps in your house were off. That means Levi wasn’t in the study, nor in the kitchen. Maybe I’d only been asleep for an hour and he had yet to wake up from a nap.

I sat up in my bed, looking around the dark room. Why did I wake up? I shrugged and decided to go get some water or bother Levi if he was awake. Perhaps not having a practice session to wear me out before bed caused this. I threw the covers off of me, feet putting on slippers so I didn’t touch the cold floor.

Then I heard it. A whimper. It was low and came from the other side of the door. My eyes widened and I grabbed the edge of the door to open it quickly. It took time for my eyes to adjust to the moonlight filtering through the two windows, but it shined right on Levi’s sleeping figure.

I first saw how deep his eyebrows were creased, and then saw him fisting his shirt. He was asleep, that was for sure, but he was restless. His head was moving every so often and I saw his jaw grit more than once. Then the whimper came again. It made me stop taking steps into the living room to listen closely. I’d never heard that sound come from him ever.

“N-no.” He grabbed his shirt again, hard, and I saw the fabric twist completely. Then, the noises came. They sounded like noises of struggle, of soft screams at something. He was having a nightmare. My eyes widened and I didn’t know what to do. Do I go and wake him up? I had to. He needed to wake up from whatever he was dreaming of. That was what Jonas did to me. Still, I was worried what would happen if I did. Would he be upset that I saw him like this?

I approached him, his body softly flailing around as those noises still kept coming. I had to wake him up, I couldn’t see him like this. Still, I stood a foot away from him, trying not to get hit.

“Levi..? Levi..? Levi!” It didn’t work. He was still thrashing around, sweat falling down his face. It broke my heart to see him like that. Hours previous he was calm, sitting on the couch and reading a book I’d given him about tea. Now, that book was thrown halfway across the room and he looked helpless under this nightmare’s grasp. I had to go in, no matter if he hit me. I couldn’t stand watching him suffer like this.

I knelt down and grabbed the hand that had his shirt in a death grip. Quickly, it grabbed my wrist, thinking it was some type of invader. Ow, ow, ow, it hurt so much. This was his true strength and my hesitations about waking him up came true.

“Levi!” I tried to wave that hand, hoping the movement would wake him up, but I couldn’t even move under his harsh grasp. I hoped that his other hand was too busy grabbing the life out of the couch to attack me too. I’d probably have to hit him to wake him up, but that might just escalate the situation.

“Levi, wake up!” I was yelling at him now, but with no avail. Tears were springing in the corner of my eyes at the pain of being grabbed like that, and soon enough my other hand was hitting his chest in a last resort.

“Levi,” hit, “wake,” hit, “up! Ow, ow, ow, ow!” Why wasn’t he waking up? Oh my gods. I reached up to his face, having to stretch, and slapped him once. It wasn’t hard, but it had to be enough to wake him up. When I pulled back my hand, I gasped feeling the wetness. He was crying. I had to wake him up now. He was in pain. He was hurting.

“Levi, wake up! Please!” Finally, I used my foot to reach up and kick his side. This made him cough hard, interrupting his whines. I said a polite sorry, but I needed to get my hand out of his grip before he broke my wrist.

“Levi! It’s me! Eva!” I said through my teeth, not being able to take the pain anymore. I let out a loud groan when he finally released me, falling back to the floor, nursing my wrist with my other hand. I could tell there would be bruises around it tomorrow. Great, on the day I needed my hands the most, I decided to try and get Humanity’s Strongest up from a nightmare. That wasn’t smart at all.

“Eva,” he mumbled, looking at me withering on the floor. He brought a hand to his face, feeling the remains of tears, and then it all clicked. His eyes widened.

“Oh my fuckin-”

“Ice pack please,” I groaned and he shot up from the coach, running to the icebox to make a bag. Honestly, now that I was sitting here for a few, it didn’t hurt as much, but it was still throbbing. I was more worried about him than my wrist at the moment, but he seemed to completely forget that he was having a night terror seconds previous.

When he came back over, he grabbed me off the floor, lifting me up on the couch. I didn’t move against him and he grabbed my wrist lightly, making me wince. His eyes had changed now. There was horror, but for the situation in front of him. What he had just done when he was sleeping weighted heavy on him, no doubt. I had to reassure him.

“Levi, it’s okay. You were-”

“It’s not okay!” He raised his voice, holding the box of frozen butter to my wrist. I winced more at that than the ice and he noticed. This made him try to calm back down for my own sake.

“Levi, you were having a nightmare. I just tried to wake you up. You didn’t know what you were doing, you were asleep.” Still, he put his head in my lap, hand gripping his leg hard. With every apology, he hit his leg harder.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He whispered it over and over again and it made me want to throw up. He was in so much pain and here he was apologizing for it. I wouldn’t take it. I couldn’t take the fact that he wasn’t only apologizing to me, but still trying to get out of his nightmare. He woke up to a nightmare because of me.

“Levi, stop!” It was harsh, but it got him to stop saying it. When he sat up to look at me, his jaw and hand were still clenched. He was trying to calm down, but his eyes were still wild like before. He was eating himself up inside.

“I. Hurt. You.” My eyes softened and I lifted my good hand up to touch his cheek. He shied away from it, which made me frown even more. I didn’t care about my damn wrist.

“What were you dreaming about?” I made sure my voice was softer than before, trying to redirect him. He shook his head.

“Not important. Your wrist-” I grabbed at his cheek, trying to get him to stop talking. It was the cheek I slapped.

“Levi, you were crying!” It made him look down at your hand laying on the block of butter. I knew he knew he was crying. I’d never seen him cry before, so it was concerning. It hurt too. I was seeing him in so much pain, but now he felt that he had to hide it from me. I couldn’t do anything to help him even thought I wanted to. I wanted so bad for him to cry in front of me and release whatever he was feeling, but that probably would never happen. Levi would never cry in front of anyone.

“I… I d-don’t want to talk - talk about it. Please.” It was a plea and it hit me deep down. I stopped pressing him. He needed to be comforted. I knew that much. I could do that much.

“Let me hold you?” He took the butter, now at room temperature, and stood up to get away from the question and to get another cold thing. I wasn’t going to let him run away from this.

“Levi, you said you would lay with me if I had a nightmare. The same applies to you.” He stared at me from the opening in the kitchen, his eyes having no emotion in them anymore. He hid everything deeper and deeper so I couldn’t point anything out.

“No.” You stood up quickly, but Levi was there to make me sit down again with a bag of corn, “No, sit.”

“If I listen to you, you have to listen to me.” He sighed and pushed me back down to nurse my wrist.

“The difference is I’m not going back to sleep.” The dark circles under his eyes became more evident to me after that. How much sleep had he lost to nightmares?

“Are nightmares the reason you don’t sleep much?” I put two fingers under his chin, directing him to look at me again. He didn’t want to, but he wasn’t going to refuse me.

“Most of the time, yes,” he whispered and that made tears well in my eyes again. Sadly, that seemed to make him feel worse, “Hey, stop. Don’t cry for me. It’s not worth it, okay? They usually aren’t this bad, yeah? Eva, it’s okay. I’m okay.” It was funny he was trying to reassure me when he was the one who needed it the most. He was pushing down everything to make me feel okay.

“I don’t care. Rules are rules,” I rubbed the tears away with my hand, “If you have nightmares, you had to sleep with me. What’s the difference between laying on the couch and laying in my bed with me?” He turned my wrist so he could ice the other side.

“There’s a difference to me. I don’t deserve to be in your bed when I hurt you like this.” His thumb ran over the red, splotchy marks on my wrist, and I had to pull him out of his wallowing. Somehow.

“Then here. I’ll lay here with you on the couch.” He shook his head again.

“No, you go sleep in your bed. I’m up now, for good. There’s only a few hours till sunrise.” I ripped my wrist out of his grasp, hissing at the pain it left me. He only seemed to care about the pain I caused myself and he glared at me for doing something stupid like that. Still, I was going to force him for his own good.

“I’m going to sit here until you lay down with me and that’s final, Levi.” He groaned, and I crossed my arms, careful of my wrist, showing him I was serious. If this was any other situation, he would probably have laughed at me, but he just let out a long sigh.

“Fine,” it was a whisper of defeat, and I would usually smile, but this time I laid my head in his chest. He got the cue and wrapped his arms around me, leaning back so that his head was laying on a pillow. My body was on top of his, legs intertwined at the other end of the couch. If this were any other situation, I would be blushing, my heart beating faster, but I was here to calm him. Regardless of who was holding who, I needed to make sure that he was okay. I put my ear to his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. It was still beating fast and I didn’t know if that was because of our position or the adrenaline from earlier. Either way, I reached a hand up to pay with his hair like he liked, trying to get the same reaction out of his that I do when he lays in my lap. He did the same, running his fingers in my still-damp hair from showering. His breath started slowing down too and when I looked up at him, his eyes were closed, so I did the same, matching my breath with his. We laid like this for a few minutes, just taking in the position we had with the other. It was our first time like this, but the pain, physical and mental, overshadowed any type of blushing reserve we would usually have.

“I dreamt about the time my friends were eaten by Titans, but this time you were there too, in that stupid Scout uniform I made you wear.” I opened my eyes at his words. His tone was much calmer, even if he was hiding everything, and I hoped that I was the one who made him feel more at ease. He told me what he dreamt about, and that was all I could ask.

“You said I’d make a good Scout.” He laughed slowly, and I felt the vibrations from his chest. It calmed me down.

“I wanted to say that you looked cute.” It was my turn to blush at his words, so I buried my face into his chest more, taking in his scent. It remained unchanged. Mint, lemon, and cedar

“Do you want me to wear it again?” He grabbed my waist, pulling me up so that our chests’ matched and my face could be buried in his neck. I sat up on my elbows to look his in the eyes, wondering why he pulled me closer.

“No, I think you look fine in what you wear normally.” I rested my head in one of my hands, still looking down at him. Even if he was acting calm, he looked like shit. The tears had dried, but his eyes were still red and the dark circles were now more prominent. The dream hurt him, but he wouldn’t tell me that. He never wanted me to see him broken like that.

“When you come back from your expedition, can you bring me some more of those button ups? They’re really nice quality.” My free hand, the hurt one, traced circles in his cheek. There was still no emotion in his eyes as he looked up at me. That was the number one tell that he wasn’t okay. He was hiding.

“No, I can’t steal military issued clothing for you. Besides, we’re already short.” I pouted and, again, there was no emotion or little annoyed expression. He wasn’t giving me anything to work with, and I was getting too tired to yell at him more. He knew that, that’s why he kept talking about random things.

“What am I going to have when you’re gone for those three months?” He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, resting his hands on my waist.

“Maybe I’ll be nice to you and leave a few of my military issued shirts in your dresser.” I smiled down at him and finally laid down, my head on his shoulder. Laying with him was as amazing as I expected, if only it wasn’t under such circumstances. He was warm and comfortable, and the thumbs drawing circles in my waist made it easy for you to relax into him.

“That would be nice of you, Captain. Maybe I’ll be nice to you and leave a few bags of peppermint tea in your duffle bag before you leave.” He moved his hand up to my hair again, running his fingers through it. I was glad I took the time to brush it before bed.

“That would be nice of you, Co-Captain. Now go to sleep, you have a lot of work to do in the morning.” I hummed, doing just that, on your new, warm, comfortable, muscular bed. How was I ever going to fall asleep on something different now?

Chapter Thirteen→

Chapter Masterlist

xx Sorry for the long wait! I’ve been trying to catch up with my requests and school work!

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duelistkingdom · 3 years

Text

you’d come back to me

chapter nine: the same fool

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Summary: Seto Kaiba has been presumed dead for four years after the events of Dark Side of Dimensions. His return causes both unresolved feelings of grief to be brought to the surface and the past to be dragged right back up. In hopes of helping Seto move on and reintegrate back into society at large, Mokuba asks Yugi to work on Spherium II with Seto. Never one to leave a friend hanging, Yugi agrees. Over the course of the project, Seto and Yugi both come to terms with their mutual grief and grow towards a better understanding of each other.

Rating: T

Ships: Yugi Mutou/Seto Kaiba, Mokuba Kaiba/Rebecca Hopkins, Katusya Jonouchi/Mai Kujaku

Warnings: aged up characters, grief, references to suicide

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Yugi was extremely stressed out. While Seto had certainly made progress in accepting that he was working in a team, other things were certainly still just as bad as the first day. Seto still seemed to be under the belief that everyone enjoyed working all hours of the night. It was even worse now that Seto had his own apartment. Last night, Yugi and Mokuba had to work together to drag Seto out of the office and deny him a key to Kaiba Corp so he could not just go in to work all hours of the night. They’d had to lecture Seto about the new Kaiba Corp bylaws.

Even worse, Spherium II’s development got held up by legal with Industrial Illusions filing an injunction. It seemed like the issue was that Pegasus now wanted to invest and was holding back the rights to use Duel Monster likeness until something was worked out. While Yugi was somewhat flattered that Pegasus believed in the project, he was very much irked that it meant that they needed to freeze progress until a deal was struck.

He’d complained to Anzu several times about the hold up in development and for the most part, Anzu was willing to listen to Yugi’s complaints. Last night, however, she reminded him that whenever he called, it was usually during the day and she had rehearsals. Jonouchi had long ago told him that he wanted to know nothing about Kaiba Corp inner workings and Honda generally passed out after work. Mokuba had asked Yugi to not tell his family about the inner workings of Kaiba Corp due to his father and grandfather running Kame Game and Yugi honored that.

He was prepared for another day of the same. However, Mokuba was actually waiting in Yugi’s office with dark circles under his eyes. “I’ve got great news, Yugi,” Mokuba said as he held up a manila envelope. “A deal was struck last night with Industrial Illusions last night to allow Industrial Illusions distribution rights. Even better? Pegasus agreed to let you use the agreed upon Duel Monsters likenesses for your game as part of an agreement for allowing him to invest in the project. Congratulations. Spherium II’s development can move forward again.”

Yugi gave a sigh of relief before laughing as he took the envelope from Mokuba. “That’s awesome ,” he said, taking a swig of his coffee as the envelope opened in his hands. Yugi took a brief scan of the agreement. It seems Mokuba had been right - Yugi had nothing to worry about. “Really glad you could get Pegasus to agree to allow me to put Dark Magician in.”

“Hey, it’s no problem,” Mokuba said. “I’ve already told Seto that the project’s able to go forward again. He should be in his office already.”

There was no doubt in Yugi’s mind that Seto was, indeed, already in his office. Seto liked to get to work as early as he was allowed and work as late as he could. He was certain that if he and Mokuba hadn’t set strict boundaries on how long Seto could stay in office, Seto would actually stay as long as he could. “Alright,” Yugi said as he tossed the folder onto his desk with the rest of the paperwork that he needed to go through. “I’ll go chat with Seto in a bit, then. Thanks for making this work, Mokuba.”

He went to turn on his computer, mostly because he knew he’d have an inbox full of emails if the deal was made last night. It’d be better to actually take care of it now rather than wait too long. Plenty of questions to be answered too, he noted as he looked at the first email from one of the team members. He’d also found quite a few more tournaments begging him to participate and he sighed. Yugi didn’t like disappointing these organizers but there was little point in competing. He wound up agreeing to another exhibition duel against Seto, however.

And well, he was certain that he’d like to see if Seto had managed to grasp the current meta at all over the past year. It hit Yugi hard when he realized that it really had been a year since Seto crashed back into their lives. Strange, Yugi thought. It didn’t feel like a year. His phone buzzed with a text from Seto, asking him what the hold up was. Yugi was about to reply when a message from saggithedarkclown buzzed in soon after. It took a Yugi a minute but there was something odd about the two messages side by side. He tried to piece together why the two messages next to each other would seem so odd and it hit him like a train. The texting style was identical.

Much like Kaiba, saggithedarkclown was stiff and just a bit too formal and a stickler for grammar. Surely this had to be a coincidence, right? Seto couldn’t be the only person in the world to type that way, after all. Instead of responding right away to Seto, Yugi sent a few messages to saggithedarkclown about the questions they’d had on his previous duel. They were about the final combo that had ended the duel and wanted to know exactly how he pulled it off. Eventually, he finally texted Seto back that he was heading over to his office now.

Yugi was not surprised when he entered Seto’s office to find him looking annoyed already. Seto was easily irritated but he supposed this time he could let it slide. He was, after all, late. “You’re late,” Seto said sharply. “We should’ve gotten started two hours ago. What were you doing that took you so long?”

“Had a few emails to the team to respond to,” Yugi said with a shrug as he moved to stand behind Seto’s chair to examine exactly what Seto had been working on. His hand came to rest on the back of Seto’s chair and Yugi noted that Seto seemed to stiffen. Still tense around him, then. “What do you have for me today?”

Surprisingly, it took Seto a moment to respond. “I saw that Pegasus has allowed us to use the likeness of some Duel Monsters,” he said, sounding even more formal than usual. “So I started to see how the program would handle it.”

“Oh, of course,” Yugi said, not all surprised that Kaiba would immediately zero in on that. He supposed if anyone could handle figuring out how to render them in Spherium II’s graphics, it would be Seto. He was the one who invented Solid Vision, after all. “I’m guessing you’ve already got an idea how to make it work?”

“Of course,” Seto said stiffly as he pulled up the specs to show Yugi. “What kind of idiot do you take me for?”

“Excellent,” Yugi said as he glanced over what Kaiba had managed to do in the past two hours and was somewhat stunned to see it was already almost fully functional. Kaiba was, of course, nothing short of obsessive when it came to a project. “How about I take you out for lunch to celebrate then?”

He’d been trying for the past few weeks already to put Anzu’s advice into motion. Every time he had offered, Kaiba rebuffed him. He was expecting Kaiba to refuse again. What he did not expect was Seto to somehow manage to find a way to get even more tense . How did Seto manage to find new ways to tense up? Yugi should probably mention to Mokuba that Seto could use a day off. “Er,” Seto finally said after a moment. “I suppose that would be fine.”

“Awesome,” Yugi said, distracted now that he’d finally managed to get Seto to agree to at least lunch. He wondered if saggithedarkclown had responded while he was busy with Seto. “I’ll see you again at lunchtime, then.”

Seto was still trying to relax an hour later. He was fixated on how casually Yugi had put his hand on the back of his chair. How was he supposed to actually go to lunch with Yugi without looking like an idiot? He’d already forgotten he had the counterpoint that they were still considered rivals by the general public. That was, after all, how he’d managed to worm out of all the other invites that Yugi had extended.. Might dampen the excitement for the upcoming exhibition match. Too bad he’d thought of the excuse just a little too late and besides, he’d have a counterpoint against the argument anyway.

He shouldn’t care this much, anyway. It was just a lunch between two coworkers working on the same project. Kaiba had been blowing it off for too long. It was inevitable that he’d wind up having to go out with someone from the team. He shouldn’t put too much thought into it. Yugi probably thought he was just being friendly.

Now why did that bother Seto? Surely he could logic his way out of this emotion. It wasn’t like Yugi was acting any differently than he’d ever had. Wasn’t that what Seto wanted? For Yugi to act the way he used to around him? It was just frustratingly confusing to not fully understand why he couldn’t just relax around Yugi. It was just lunch between coworkers. That’s all it was. He could do lunch, after all. How many business lunches had Seto done before? This was no different.

Just because Yugi was younger than most of the businessmen Seto had dealt with when he was CEO doesn’t mean that Seto had to lose his mind over it. Embarrassingly, the details of last night’s dreams of Yugi started to stir up again. He tried to push that aside. He didn’t have time to get embarrassed over dreams he could not control at work . He was at work . He was supposed to be professional, not lose his entire head. He jumped when Mokuba entered his office. “Mokuba,” he said sharply. “What is it?”

That was more rude than Seto intended. Mokuba did not seem to react to this, however. It was probably because Mokuba knew Seto well enough to not get offended when he was rude. “Just wanted to let you know that the due date on those models isn’t until next month,” Mokuba said, looking concerned as ever. “You don’t have to push yourself to get them all done today.”

“Is that all,” Seto asked, turning back to his computer. He knew the deadlines on the project. He’d fought with Yugi about them. As far as Seto was concerned, they were too spread out. Surely they could streamline it. Yugi had argued that the rest of the team didn’t want to work around the clock on the project and get locked out of leaving the building. He still didn’t see Yugi’s point. “I know when the deadline is. I’ll still have them done before then.”

Mokuba sighed. “Please tell me you’re at least going to get lunch today.”

An explanation for why Yugi might have asked Seto to lunch just arrived, hadn’t it? Of course. Mokuba probably had asked Yugi to babysit Seto, the same way Mokuba had forced Seto onto this project with Yugi. “Did you put Yugi up to ask me to go to lunch, then?”

“No,” Mokuba said, a shocked expression on his face that disappeared as quickly as it appeared. That was enough to assure Seto that he hadn’t lied. It did, however, open up new questions. “But you should go. It’d be good for you to find common ground.”

For a second, Seto started immediately wondering why Yugi would do such a thing on his own accord. Seto couldn’t help but overthink every possible motive that Yugi possibly could have. He spent too much time with Yugi taking up focus. Kaiba was sick of how often he thought about Yugi but he couldn’t seem to stop. “I already agreed,” Seto said with a shrug as he stared at his screen. “You don’t have to worry. I’ll eat lunch today.”

“Good,” Mokuba said and Seto felt a little bit guilty over how happy Mokuba sounded at this response. Seto knew that this meant that he shouldn’t be skipping lunch as often as he did. However, it wasn’t like this was a new behavior of his. Had Mokuba always been worried about Seto skipping lunch? He didn’t dare ask. “Alright. I’ll get out of your hair so you can get back to work.”

Seto was stunned to discover that Yugi had a car and that he would rather drive it to lunch than let Isono drive them. Seto had folded his arms across his chest, staring at the window as he noted all the ways Domino City was different than it was five years ago. He’d mostly gotten used to the changes but there was still that strange feeling about how much he’d truly missed. “Where are you taking me anyway,” Seto said finally, breaking the silence in the car.

“Burger World,” Yugi responded. “Another location reopened.”

“That place that a guy was set on fire at,” Seto asked in alarm. “Aren’t you worried about the type of people that hang out at a place like that?”

A brief flash of something crossed Yugi’s face before it settled into a slight smirk. “Oh, I wouldn’t worry about getting set on fire there,” Yugi said, as if sharing a private joke with himself. Seto didn’t understand how Yugi could be so lighthearted about someone getting set on fire. “Besides, no one’s been set on fire in Burger World in seven years. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

It was true that the incident had to have been seven years ago now but that didn’t change that someone had gotten set on fire at one of their locations. “I think I have the right to be worried when I might get set on fire,” Seto said. “Especially when you seem to think it’s funny .”

“No one’s going to set you on fire, Kaiba,” Yugi said, sounding somewhat exasperated. “Why would anyone set you on fire, anyway?”

“Why would anyone set someone on fire,” Kaiba countered. “Why do you think it’s so funny, anyway?”

The smile vanished from Yugi’s face. Suddenly, Seto irrationally wished he could shove the words back in his mouth. Which ones? Whatever the ones were that made Yugi stop smiling. He felt like there was something he was missing. “It’s not, I guess,” Yugi said softly, not revealing anything. “Just… made me think of someone, is all.”

“Oh,” Seto said, still just as confused as ever. He wanted to know why Yugi had stopped smiling but he couldn’t bring himself to ask. “You really don’t think we’d get set on fire there?”

“No,” Yugi said as he turned into the parking lot of the restaurant. Seto was unsurprised to note that it was mostly empty. He was actually surprised that Burger World was even still open after that bout of negative press. Then again, the same could be said for Kaiba Corp after Death-T. Kaiba pushed the memory out of his mind. “There’s no risk of getting set on fire. C’mon. Let’s go eat.”

Seto was still doubtful but he did tell Mokuba he would actually go eat with Yugi. And it wasn’t like Seto could just ask Yugi to lend him his car to go get something else to eat. This left Seto with the only option of going forward. Besides… if Yugi really did seem so sure that there was no risk, then he’d have to trust him. The interior of Burger World, Seto noted, was a tacky nightmare of neon and booths and what seemed to be plastic tables. “You actually eat here?”

“All the time,” Yugi replied as he led Seto towards one of the more private booths. “I really like the burgers they serve here.”

Seto paused as he tried to figure out what Yugi was talking about. The way Yugi referred to it was as if everyone would know what it was. Rather than risk looking like an idiot, Seto merely sat across from Yugi and said nothing. Seto wondered where the hostess was and why they had to seat themselves. “How does eating here even work?”

Yugi looked at Seto as if he’d just asked how to tribute summon a monster. So much for avoiding looking like an idiot in front of Yugi. “Have you never eaten at a casual restaurant before?”

The answer to that was a resounding no. While he’d sometimes handed Mokuba money to go to a restaurant like this, Seto avoided places like this. Most of the restaurants Seto went to would be out of Yugi’s price range. However, Seto got the feeling saying that out loud would not go over well and he was supposed to be trying to work with Yugi. “There was no hostess,” Seto remarked instead, looking back over at the entrance. “How is the wait staff supposed to know there’s someone here?”

“They just do,” Yugi said with a shrug as he checked his watch. “Typically a waitress comes over in a few minutes.”

Seto was about to remark upon how he thought this was a poor business model when an overly perky blonde approached them with two menus in hand. “Sorry about the wait,” she said as she placed the menus in front of them. Yugi gave Seto a sharp look and any retort he had died on his tongue. “My name’s Haruka and I’ll be your waitress today. What can I get started for you guys today?”

“I’ll have my usual,” Yugi said. Haruka nodded and wrote something down on her notepad. “I think Seto needs to try one of the classic burgers. I get the feeling he’s never had a burger before.”

Instantly, Seto was torn from snapping at Yugi that he could order for himself and being flushed that Yugi would actually be that bold. He was surprised that Yugi had realized that Seto hadn’t ever really had a burger before. “Never had a burger before,” Haruka said, sounding surprised. “Well, you’re in luck. We have the best burgers.”

Before Seto could remark on that, Yugi gave him another glare as if he knew what Seto was about to say. He gave a soft “tch” as he folded his arms over his chest. “Fine,” Seto said, figuring it was better than trying to decide what to order for himself. “I’ll try one.”

“And what will you have to drink,” she asked.

Seto glanced at the list of things to drink on the back of the menu. He noted that the only choices were soda, lemonade, or water. “Water’s fine,” Seto said.

Yugi rolled his eyes as she noted it and left the table. “Didn’t Mokuba tell you that you’re supposed to be nice,” Yugi asked, sounding exasperated. Seto opened his mouth to point out that he’d been perfectly courteous and Yugi shook his head. “You were glaring at her the whole time. Just relax, Seto.”

Was that how Yugi could tell when Seto was about to say something? Did he really have a tell? How long had he had this tell? “I’m being perfectly agreeable,” Seto replied, well aware he sounded curt. “Can I help that you regular places like this dump?”

“Seto, please,” Yugi said, reaching out the table to cover Seto’s hand with his and once again, Seto froze. The motion was just a little overly familiar. As usual, it did not seem to impact Yugi the same way it impacted Seto. “Can you at least try to be normal for one lunch?”

“Okay,” Seto said automatically, not sure where it came from. Yugi squeezed his hand and smiled and Seto’s heart began to beat irregularly. Seto was starting to get annoyed by the random arrhythmia that being around Yugi seemed to bring on. “You and Mokuba are both massive thrones in my side, by the way.”

This didn’t seem to bother Yugi. In fact, he laughed. The stupid arrhythmia acted up again and Seto did his best to ignore it. “Good,” Yugi said. “That means you aren’t doing anything stupid any time soon.”

“I never do anything stupid,” Seto retorted, wondering what were the common causes of arrhythmia. Maybe he should be writing down when it happened? Perhaps that would better help the doctor when Seto got it checked out. “Not sure why you and Mokuba would both think that I would.”

Yugi gave Seto a strange look as he pulled his hand away. Seto didn’t know why that bothered him, either. The waitress had already come back with their drinks, setting them down in front of them. She said nothing and left quickly after. “Seto, do you really not get why people might be worried about you?”

He didn’t understand Yugi’s question. On some level, he did understand why Mokuba was worried. However, it wasn’t like Seto intended for his actions to look like… He pushed it aside. “If this is about the dimension jumping again, I already took it apart. I wasn’t going to do it again.”

“That’s not the only reason w… Mokuba’s worried about you,” Yugi said, his eyebrows furrowing as his gaze bore into Seto. Seto looked away, uncomfortable now. “Look… I… I know that none of this has been easy…”

Now he understood what Yugi was getting at. “I’m not depressed,” Seto snapped. He’d heard the same concern from the therapist that Mokuba was making him go to. He was starting to get a little tired of everyone insisting that he had to be weak . “I’m fine , Yugi. No one needs to get concerned about me.”

“It’s okay, Seto,” Yugi said and for once, Seto could actually tell what Yugi’s expression was communicating. However, Seto couldn’t figure out for the life of him what Yugi might be pleading from him. There was nothing he could give Yugi. “You really aren’t alone, okay? I… I’m here for you, Seto. I… I just need you to be open with me.”

Open? Has Yugi lost his mind? “I don’t need your help,” Seto said automatically, looking for a way out of this conversation. How had they even ended up on this topic? Must everyone be this concerned with his mental health? “Mind your business.”

Rather than seem put off by this reaction, Yugi seemed to be actually expecting it. He hated that Yugi actually seemed honestly concerned. Yugi’s head tilted, as if trying to figure something out. “Seto,” he said and it was like a gut punch. “Surely you can see that no one would understand better than me how it would feel to lose Atem. If you would just talk to me -”

Seto cut Yugi off, his heart racing as he snapped, “I don’t need your help, Yugi. Have I made myself clear?”

Yugi sighed, shaking his head. “Fine,” he said and he sounded more resigned than anything. “If you won’t talk now, that’s fine. We have the rest of this project for you to start talking about.”

This time, Yugi had the same look he had just before he’d threatened Seto. This was, in fact, a threat. Must Yugi be this insistent on being friends with him? Seto supposed he shouldn’t be surprised. He’d never once known Yugi to back down from a challenge. “Don’t expect this to go your way,” Seto said, slumping back in the booth. “You can’t make me open up to you.”

“Stop acting like a child,” Yugi said with a roll of his eyes. “You know that Mokuba and I are coming from a place of care. If we didn’t care, we’d let you just push us away. Neither Mokuba nor I are going to let you do that. So you can pout, stomp your feet, act like a dick all you want. Neither of us are going anyway. Get used to it.”

Seto was taken aback by the ferocity in Yugi’s eyes. Something told him that Yugi absolutely meant it too. At this point, Seto wasn’t sure how to keep Yugi at arm’s length anymore. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t try.

“I can’t believe you got Kaiba to try a burger,” Jonouchi remarked with a laugh as Mai passed him another gift to unwrap. “Seriously, how did he react?”

“He seemed to think that he was going to get set on fire at Burger World the entire time,” Yugi said with a shrug, leaving out the gritty details of the conversation he’d had with Seto. “I don’t think he cared much for it, either. Claimed it was too greasy.”

Jonouchi laughed even harder at this as he unwrapped the gift that Yugi had gotten him. “You know, you whippin rich boy’s ass tomorrow would’ve made a fine birthday gift,” Jonouchi remarked, looking rather amazed at the framed picture from the last tournament that Yugi ever did with Jonouchi. Yugi’s arm was thrown around Jonouchi and the two of them looked thrilled about doing a tag team duel together. “Though I will admit… this is nice.”

“Oh, I’m sure Yugi’s gonna kick Kaiba’s ass tomorrow,” Mai said with a light laugh as she leaned back in her chair and her head resting on Jonouchi’s shoulder. Jonouchi’s arm snaked around her waist as he gave her a soft smile. “Seriously, the guy’s been out of the loop for the past four years. No way he’ll be able to be duel ready in only a year. And Yugi’s only gotten better since Battle City.”

“Kaiba’s not like any other opponent that Yugi’s had, though,” Ryou remarked with a slight frown. “I wouldn’t expect this to be a cake walk. Yugi should really be taking this seriously.”

“Please, no one’s even come close to unseating Yugi in the past six years,” Honda pointed out as he took a swing of his beer. “Do we really think Kaiba’s gonna figure out how to beat Yugi now?”

“I dunno,” Otogi said with a raised brow. “Hate to disagree with you, babe, but Bakura’s got a point. Kaiba’s always been weirdly intense about Yugi.”

“Seto’s not going to win,” Yugi said confidently. While there was a point when their points may have rattled him, he was prepared. He’d been looking forward to Dueling Kaiba again. He knew Kaiba had been improving and was expecting an actual challenge this time now that Kaiba was familiar with the meta. “He’s improved his game a lot in the past year but I still know a few tricks.”

“He better not,” Jonouchi said with an easy going grin. “After all, you beating Kaiba’s your primary birthday gift to me.”

Yugi had another reason for wanting to win this Duel that he didn’t tell his friends. From previous experience, Seto was more willing to be open during a Duel. Sure, winning didn’t exactly seem to change that but he’d noticed that Seto tended to be more willing to rant when he lost. He almost felt nervous as he walked out onto the pitch, his gaze set firm on Seto. He’d barely noticed the cheers when he’d entered and only vaguely remembered to smile and wave at the crowd. He noted that Seto’s Duel Disk was activated. “Kaiba,” he said simply, carefully examining the expression on Seto’s face. “Are you ready for me to beat you again?”

“I’d like to see you try,” Seto replied, glaring at Yugi. Yugi could only assume that this was because Seto had some level of wariness when it came to dueling Yugi again. “I know it’s been four years but I assure you: I’m still going to crush you.”

As per usual, they shuffled each other’s decks and Yugi stared Kaiba down the entire time. For once, it seemed like Kaiba might not actually be as revealing during the duel. That wasn’t good. He needed Kaiba to actually start talking. Well, Yugi had a plan to start the conversation and it rested right in his deck. His first hand was perfect to make sure that he’d wind up in control of the board early. It was Kaiba’s turn first. Another advantage on his side: Kaiba was surely going to try to set up.

“I’m activating Cards of Consonance, allowing me to discard the White Stone of Legend from my hand to draw two cards,” Kaiba called out. It seemed Kaiba still had the same type of deck. Yugi could only assume it must have been updated. “I’m setting a monster face down, two cards face down, and ending my turn. During my end phase, when the White Stone of Legend was sent to the graveyard, it allows me to add a Blue Eyes White Dragon to my hand. Make your move, Yugi.”

If Yugi knew his archetypes - and he did - then it was most likely White Stone of the Ancients that Kaiba had placed face down. Its Graveyard effect would ensure that Kaiba got out Blue Eyes White Dragon fairly early. He needed to cut its effect off early before clearing the way to Kaiba’s life points. “Fine,” Yugi said as he drew, noting it was Gravekeeper’s Priestess. A precautionary card at most. If Kaiba removed Necrovalley, Priestess could act as Necrovalley. “I activate the spell card, Terraforming! This allows me to add a field spell from my deck to my hand. And I chose Necrovalley!”

“What,” Kaiba said, clearly caught off guard.

“And now, I activate Necrovalley,” Yugi said as the field around them reflected this change. The pitch’s concrete now had sand across it that felt almost lifelike as the temple pushed up from the ground. Yugi might’ve previously reacted to the Solid Vision’s lifelike rumbling and been knocked over. Now, he held his ground. “Necrovalley’s effect now takes effect! Both our graveyards have been locked down. No graveyard effects can be activated and no monster can be banished from the graveyard and no monster can be special summoned. The dead stay dead.”

The look on Kaiba’s face said everything. He’d seen that look before when he’d shown Kaiba that Atem no longer would come out from the puzzle. “You dare?”

“That’s right, Kaiba,” Yugi said as he placed Gravekeeper’s Heretic on his Duel Disk and set Spell Vanishing and Imperial Tombs of Necrovalley. “And now, I summon Gravekeeper’s Heretic in attack mode and place two cards face down. Now, Heretic will attack your facedown!” As expected, it was White Stone of the Ancients. The magic blast from Heretic sent the stone shattering around them and Yugi ducked out of the way of the blast. Kaiba, for his part, looked pissed. “I bet you were expecting that effect to activate. Unfortunately for you, you won’t be getting Blue Eyes out that easy. I end my turn!”

Kaiba gave a “tch” before he drew, narrowing his eyes at Yugi. “You dare to interfere with my plans again, Yugi,” Kaiba said, examining the card he drew. “I won’t let you! I reveal from my hand a Blue Eyes White Dragon to special summon Blue Eyes Alternative Dragon!” Yugi’s eyes widened as the Alternative’s wings spread out, a loud screech coming from her. He knew that there was no hope of saving Heretic once she attacked but he knew Kaiba just a little bit better than that. “I activate Alternative’s effect to destroy Heretic!”

“Now! I reveal my facedown card, Imperial Tombs of Necrovalley! I can activate this card whenever you activate a spell, trap, or monster effect,” Yugi said as the card flipped face up. Instantly, Blue Eyes Alternative Dragon was yanked into a coffin that sunk back into the sand. “It allows me to negate the activation of your monster’s effect and destroy your monster! Say goodbye to your dragon, Kaiba!”

Control of the board remained firmly in Yugi’s hands. Yugi suspected any other Duelist might have an actual issue against Kaiba’s formidable strategy. Yugi glared back at Kaiba defiantly, daring Kaiba to actually lay a finger on him. Kaiba’s stare became rather guarded before he looked away, a slight smirk forming on his face. “Suppose I should’ve expected you to have a counter,” Kaiba said. Yugi raised a brow at Kaiba, trying to figure out exactly what Kaiba was thinking. “Fine. Let’s see you negate this: I summon Protector with Eyes of Blue! This allows me to special summon a level one light tuner from my hand and I’m summoning Maiden with Eyes of Blue!”

Protector and Maiden both summoned out and Yugi recognized this combo. In fact, something was in the back of his head as he remembered mentioning it offhand to saggithedarkclown. It had been a hypothetical scenario. “I see you’ve gone and updated your deck,” Yugi remarked. “Maybe you’ll actually be able to keep up with me for once.”

“Oh, I’ve always been able to keep up with you, Yugi,” Kaiba said. “Now I target Maiden with Protector’s effect, sending her to the graveyard to special summon Blue Eyes White Dragon from my hand! But that’s not all, Yugi. Because Maiden was targeted, she also summons out a second Blue Eyes! Now! I bring forth Blue Eyes Twin Burst Dragon!”

Yugi might’ve been able to prevent Alternative from coming out but now he was staring down the duel headed Blue Eyes and she looked pissed . Yugi ran through his options. Raigeki was in his deck but there was only one copy of it so he couldn’t hope to rely on it. So far, Kaiba has already run through two of his Blue Eyes but there were still two more Alternatives and another Blue Eyes in his deck. If Yugi could ensure that Kaiba could not summon any more Blue Eyes cards, then his victory was all but assured. “Kaiba,” Yugi said, well aware that Kaiba wouldn’t listen to him. “You won’t be able to bring back your Blue Eyes once they’re in the Graveyard. They will stay there for the rest of the Duel.”

“That’s what you think, Yugi,” Kaiba said with a glare. “I will destroy Necrovalley! For now, Twin Burst will destroy your Heretic! Twin Burst Stream!”

Twin Burst launched two lightning blasts at Heretic and Yugi put the card in his graveyard. Yugi’s life points went down to 7300, barely a scratch. The Duel Disk still assured that it caused a little sting. Yugi had gotten used to the feeling of the shock going up his arm from lifepoint damage. “Well played, Kaiba,” Yugi said, examining Kaiba. Oddly guarded. “You did, indeed, come prepared.”

“Don’t you dare try to flatter me,” Kaiba said, his careful mask slipping for just a second for Yugi to notice he’d gotten flustered by the compliment. Yugi smirked slightly: there it was. Kaiba didn’t seem to anticipate Yugi being nice to him. “I’m setting two cards and ending my turn!”

“Then it’s my turn,” Yugi said as he drew, anticipating one of Kaiba’s facedowns to be a way to destroy Necrovalley. “I set a card and now I activate Necrovalley Throne! This card allows me to search out a Gravekeeper monster from my deck and immediately after, I have to summon a Gravekeeper monster!” He added Gravekeeper’s Spiritualist to hand, glancing at the cards in hand. Getting Gravekeeper’s Supernaturalist out would help him out here. He had Gravekeeper’s Oracle, which would give him enough attack points to beat over Twin Burst. This Duel could end quickly if he did that. However, if he did that, he could not make sure that Kaiba opened up. Instead, he needed to drag this Duel out. He glanced up at Kaiba before looking back at his cards.

“Are you going to actually make a move,” Kaiba sneered, a look of victory on his face. It seemed like Kaiba believed that Yugi had no out to the position he’d put Yugi in. “Or are you too scared?”

“Kaiba, you have never once managed to scare me,” Yugi remarked casually as he passed over Visionary. “I summon Gravekeeper’s Recruiter! And now I activate Gravekeeper’s Servant. This continuous trap makes it so you can only attack if you discard a card!”

“I activate the quick play spell Twin Twisters,” Kaiba declared, flipping over one of his set cards and discarding a card from his hand. “And I’m choosing to destroy both Necrovalley and Gravekeeper’s Servant!”

As expected. “I reveal my counter trap,” Yugi said, flipping over Spell Vanishing. “Sure, I have to discard two cards to activate it,” Yugi said as he discarded Gravekeeper’s Spy and Monster Reborn. He wouldn’t need either card anyway. “But once it negates Twin Twisters, it seeks out every copy of Twin Twisters in your deck and discards them! How does it feel to have your own deck destruction strategies aimed right back at you?”

Kaiba had a stunned look on his face. Yugi was certain that he was more surprised about the fact that Yugi had set Spell Vanishing in the expectation of having to negate one of Kaiba’s quick play spells. “You expected me to use Twin Twisters?”

“Of course,” Yugi said. “You never could let the dead rest, could you? Don’t worry, Kaiba. It won’t be the first time I’ll know what you’re planning to do before you even do it.” He glanced back to the remaining three cards in hand. The Duel ending combo would have to wait. “I end my turn.”

Gravekeeper’s Recruiter wasn’t going to stay out on the field long. Yugi regretted that. He felt a little bad, knowing Recruiter was little more than cannon fodder. Twin Burst would dispatch it easily. He doubted the cost of discarding a card from his deck would actually bother Kaiba. What really concerned Yugi, however, was the other set card on Kaiba’s field. It could be anything. Yugi needed to prepare to deal with whatever Kaiba could have set. “My turn,” Kaiba declared as he drew. “If you think having to discard a card from my deck will stop me from attacking Yugi, you’re wrong! I’ll gladly pay the cost if it means I can finally destroy you!”

“Do you really want to destroy me, Kaiba,” Yugi retorted, a sly smirk forming on his face as he noted that Kaiba actually seemed to get flustered by this too. Was it really that easy to throw Kaiba off his game? “You’ve been unable to ever actually beat me, Kaiba. I’d like to see if you actually could.”

“How dare you,” Kaiba said as he looked at the card he discarded from the top of his deck to declare his attack. Yugi couldn’t tell if Kaiba had lost a good card. He’d managed to get that carefully controlled look back on his face. “Twin Burst Stream!”

There went Recruiter. And down went Yugi’s lifepoints again to 6000. “When Recruiter is destroyed, I can add a Gravekeeper monster from my deck to my hand that has 1500 or less defense,” Yugi said as he added Gravekeeper’s Headman to hand. “You know that you can’t actually win, Kaiba. Your Graveyard is locked down and two of your Blue Eyes and one of your Alternatives rests there as well.”

“Then why are you down two thousand life points already, Yugi,” Kaiba said as he set another card. Already drawing this out was getting dangerous. Duels these days were decided in a single turn. It seemed like Kaiba felt so secure that Yugi could not actually destroy Twin Burst that he was not bothering to summon another monster. Kaiba was right that Twin Burst was a formidable monster. Destroying it by battle was not an option - Twin Burst would merely banish the monster that battled that had higher attack. “My Blue Eyes will return to me. I will destroy Necrovalley.”

“You have to know that life points don’t matter unless they’re 0 and that I won’t let you destroy Necrovalley,” Yugi replied calmly. Certainly this didn’t look great for him but he wasn’t concerned. “Besides, Kaiba, this duel isn’t about winning for me. It’s about getting you to actually talk to me.”

“I’ve got nothing to say to you, Yugi, besides that if you don’t care about winning, then you’ll easily be crushed,” Kaiba said, glaring at Yugi. “You always want to talk, Yugi. Enough talking! Show me what your point is with your cards! I end my turn!”

“If that’s what you want, then fine,” Yugi said as he drew his next card. Raigeki. Out of all the cards to draw. “I activate Raigeki! Twin Burst is destroyed!” A bolt of lightning hit the field and vaporized Twin Burst. There went one of his problems. “Your Blue Eyes Twin Burst Dragon will rest in the Graveyard for the rest of the Duel, never to return to the field.”

A dark look crossed Kaiba’s face. “You’re going to regret that, Yugi!”

“I doubt it,” Yugi replied. “Now I summon Gravekeeper’s Headman! With this card, I can special summon a Gravekeeper monster from my graveyard. This effect is unaffected by Necrovalley. And I choose Gravekeeper’s Heretic!”

Gravekeeper’s Heretic returned to the field, a look of amazement on the monster’s face as he looked behind him to give a nod to Yugi. Yugi nodded back, well aware this wouldn’t end the Duel but it would definitely put a dent in Kaiba's life points and keep the crowd from getting restless. “Thought you wanted to make a point about graveyards being closed,” Kaiba said, a nasty look on his face. “Undermining your point there, Yugi.”

“I’m not the one refusing to let go of the dead, Kaiba,” Yugi said. The one thing he knew was that the dead wouldn’t come back to life. However, he could keep their memories close to his chest. He could remember Atem and honor him. “When we lose someone, they’re gone but we keep the memory of them. In that, we never truly lose them. We move forward, Kaiba, without forgetting what we had with them. We carry the lessons they teach us in our heart. Now, Headman and Heretic will attack you directly!”

Both of them hit Kaiba directly, dropping Kaiba from 8000 life points to 4700 in one swift blow. The crowd might not understand why Yugi was doing what he was doing but they seemed to enjoy seeing Yugi finally get an attack in. Yugi looked up towards the crowd and spotted Mokuba and Rebecca close to the pitch. Mokuba met Yugi’s eyes and nodded. Yugi then locked eyes with Kaiba again as Kaiba staggered upright. “You claim that you won’t bring back the dead but I bet you could if you weren’t a coward,” Kaiba spat. “You accepted the Pharaoh’s fate so easily. You aren’t the first to blindly follow destiny.”

Yugi stared at Kaiba, sighing. “I end my turn, Kaiba,” Yugi said. “This Duel will be over soon. By the end of the Duel, you will have to accept that in order to move forward, you have to accept that you cannot change that he’s dead. The past is set in stone, Kaiba. I would think that you would understand that better than anyone.”

“I don’t accept limitations, unlike some people,” Kaiba said as he drew a card. “I activate the Melody of Awakening Dragon! This allows me to add two dragons from my deck with 3000 or more attack from my deck and 2500 or less defense as long as I discard a card! Now, I bring out Blue Eyes Alternative Dragon.” Out came the second Alternative and Yugi knew that meant that the final Blue Eyes was in Kaiba’s hand. Kaiba’s deck would be rendered worthless once all Blue Eyes were incapable of being summoned. “And I activate its effect, allowing me to destroy Headman!”

“Once that effect is activated, you cannot declare an attack on me this turn,” Yugi remarked as Headman was destroyed. Yugi was surprised he didn’t pick Heretic. Headman had less attack compared to Heretic. Certainly there was a plan for this move. “So you must be planning on summoning another monster.”

“For once, you’re wrong, Yugi,” he said as he set a card facedown. “I’m setting a card and ending my turn. You can’t hope to defeat me, Yugi.”

There was only one way to assure the Duel didn’t go sideways. He drew, noting the card. “I’m activating my continuous trap, Necrovalley Temple,” Yugi declared. “Whenever I have a Gravekeeper monster and Necrovalley on the field, your monsters lose 500 attack!” That wasn’t all it did but the rest of the effects weren’t as important. Heretic still couldn’t beat over it, however. “I summon Gravekeeper’s Spiritualist!” Spiritualist twirled out. “When she’s summoned, she fusion summons out any fusion monster I have using cards from my hand and field as well as herself.”

She began to wave her staff around as Heretic was pulled in as well as Oracle from his hand. “I bring out Gravekeeper’s Supernaturalist! As long as he’s out, cards in my field zone cannot be destroyed. During the end phase of this turn, I can add any Gravekeeper or Necrovalley card from my deck to my hand. That’s not all: it gains 100 attack points for each level of the monsters used to fuse him out on top of the 500 attack.”

This made Supernaturalist the strongest monster on the field. Not only that, both Yugi and Kaiba knew there was now no real way for Kaiba to win. “You think I’m going to let your monster scare me into no longer fighting,” Kaiba asked, looking irked. “I’m not like the other opponents you might have faced in the past four years, Yugi.”

“Of course you’re not,” Yugi said, standing his ground. He had to get through to Kaiba. He needed Kaiba to understand. At this point, he wasn’t even sure what he needed Kaiba to understand. Everything about the past four years felt like a fresh wound. Mokuba arriving at the Kame Game Shop, tears in his eyes as he informed Yugi that Seto was gone. Accepting a job at Kaiba Corp because Mokuba admitted he needed help. The AI that Kaiba had built before he left that looked exactly like Atem. “Because none of them understood me like you do, Kaiba. You and I are connected by the same tragedy,” came spilling out of Yugi, desperately reaching out towards Kaiba. “No one but you understands how it felt. Kaiba, please. I need you to be willing to talk to me.”

The grief was plain on Kaiba’s face and Yugi was almost certain he’d bridged the gap between Kaiba and him. Kaiba had to understand that Yugi cared, right? It occurred to Yugi that he was wrong about wanting to force Kaiba to stay for Mokuba’s sake. He needed Kaiba here too. “I already told you that you can talk to me through your cards,” Kaiba said, annoyed. “I activate Heavy Storm Duster! I’ll blow away you, your Necrovalley, and Necrovalley Temple!”

“You think that will work,” Yugi asked as the storm swarmed around them, bent on destroying Necrovalley and the Temple that had formed on the field. It whipped around his clothes and he could barely hear the crowd anymore. “When Necrovalley Temple is destroyed, I can set a Necrovalley spell or trap card from my deck directly to the field besides Necrovalley Temple! Not only that, you fail to destroy Necrovalley due to Spiritualist's effect!” The dust settled and Necrovalley remained on the field. Yugi glared at Kaiba. “You cannot fight the inevitable, Kaiba. You are going to lose this Duel. The sooner you accept this, the better.”

“I’ll never accept that, Yugi,” Kaiba said, taking a step back as Yugi took a step forward. It was like Kaiba was trying to rapidly build walls between them, preventing Yugi from ever fully reaching him. Yugi sighed, shaking his head yet again. “Not as long as I can still fight. You aren’t the first one to tell me what isn’t possible and I’ve proven them wrong before. I’ll prove you wrong too, Yugi!”

Yugi then realized the only way he’d be able to get through to Kaiba is to actually defeat him. “As you just said, Kaiba… I’m not like the other opponents you’ve faced,” Yugi said, pointing to Blue Eyes Alternative Dragon. “Supernaturalist attacks Blue Eyes Alternative Dragon!”

Instantly, Supernaturalist pounced upwards, his staff high above his head as energy gathered at its tip. And then the attack hit, tearing through Alternative. Alternative’s cry of agony tugged at Yugi’s heart, feeling almost bad for having to destroy such a nice looking monster. Once again, Kaiba did not activate his other facedown card. Yugi was reminded vaguely of the duel they had five years ago, when Kaiba had set a card that was never activated. What could possibly be set? “You can’t keep my graveyard locked forever,” Kaiba said, glaring at Yugi as his life points dropped down. There wasn’t much time left in this Duel. “I’ll show you I can raise the dead.”

“You can’t,” Yugi said, pleading with Kaiba to understand that the dead needed their rest as he set Fiendish Chain. “I add a card to my hand due to Supernaturalist’s effect,” Yugi said as he added Gravekeeper’s Priestess to hand, anticipating on using her to end the Duel the next turn. Whatever powerful monster Kaiba brought out would not be enough to change the outcome. What a shame , Yugi thought. He thought he might be able to pull this out longer and instead, Kaiba blew through his resources rapidly, leaving him with nothing. “My turn is over, Kaiba. Take your last turn.”

Even Kaiba seemed well aware that this was the final turn. No one could say that Kaiba wasn’t stubborn, however. He drew his next card. “The final chance to end this has arrived,” Kaiba said as he revealed the final Blue Eyes Alternative Dragon from his hand. “Your defense will be shattered,” Kaiba said with a rather manic sounding laugh. Yugi, for his part, was certain he seemed bored if only because he knew for a fact how this would end. Yugi’s trap card flipped over the second the dragon was summoned and the chains grabbed Alternative, dragging her down as she yelled in shock. “What?”

“My trap card activated, Kaiba,” Yugi said calmly, realizing how much grief had felt exactly like he’d been drowning. He’d felt exactly like that - chained to his own sorrow and being dragged down and held back. Yugi was done with it. He needed Kaiba to join him in resurfacing. “Fiendish Chain activates by targeting an effect monster and negating their effects and preventing them from attacking.”

Kaiba seemed stunned by this, staring at the dragon as if he was expecting her to become unchained. Alternative struggled against the chains and yet, nothing changed. She remained chained. “You had this planned,” Kaiba said slowly. “You expected me to go through my resources.”

“Some things never change, Kaiba, and I still know you,” Yugi said softly as he examined the field. The end game was here and there was no use in putting it off. Nothing Kaiba did this turn would prevent Yugi’s victory the very next turn. “I know that’s hard to believe when so much has changed these past four years… I know. But we’re still here for you, Kaiba. That hasn’t changed.”

The only thing that reminded Yugi that they were not alone was that the stadium full of people was still cheering so loudly that it hurt Yugi’s ears. It was like wind whipping around him - easily ignored. Kaiba finally hung his head and Yugi felt like an arrow had run through his heart. “There’s nothing else I can do,” Kaiba said after a long pause, before the judges could intervene that Kaiba needed to make a move. “I end my turn.”

“My turn, then,” Yugi said as he drew, summoning out Gravekeeper’s Priestess. He was almost amazed by the fact that she seemed well aware of what was going on. The determined look settled on Priestess’s face. “I summon Gravekeeper’s Priestess. And now, Supernaturalist will destroy Alternative.” Once again, Supernaturalist’s attack blasted through the Dragon, turning it to dust on the ground. “Kaiba… Are you ready?”

It didn’t matter if he was ready. Priestess’s attack went barrelling towards Kaiba, a violent flash of golden light filling the arena. When the light cleared, Yugi could swear he saw a tear rolling down Kaiba’s cheek but it must have been a trick of the light. Kaiba’s life points hit zero as the crowd roared in approval. Yugi started to walk towards Kaiba as the holograms cleared but Kaiba turned away, walking off the pitch in a brisk stride. He barely even heard the announcer declare him the winner and still world champion. He wasn’t even sure if he was playing his part right when Pegasus’s arm wrapped around his shoulders, congratulating him on yet another win.

Seto hated weakness. He hated that he saw it in himself when he’d had to hurry off the pitch after Yugi won, desperate to try to collect himself. It was a weakness that Yugi had managed to bring him to tears and Yugi had exploited every weakness Kaiba had. Every part of him felt raw but he put that down to the Duel Disk giving him a hard jolt when Priestess had attacked. He swore he’d seen that face before. It couldn’t have been Isis Ishtar, though. It was just a trading card. He was simply unsettled by Yugi’s vicious attacks. It had completely unsettled him to the point where Kaiba pressed his foot down harder into the ground to assure that he was still on Earth.

The view of Blue Eyes Alternative Dragon chained by Yugi’s trap card remained fresh in his mind. Yugi had planned for Kaiba to run through his resources like that. He had expected Kaiba’s strategy and had known all the weaknesses to exploit. Even worse, Kaiba knew what Yugi was trying to communicate to him. “You and I are connected by the same tragedy” rattled around Kaiba’s head and once again, the entire world was off-kilter again. Yugi had made it very clear what he meant and Kaiba wanted to pretend he didn’t understand. He wanted to pretend he didn’t understand that Yugi was referring to Atem’s death and the impact it had on the both of them. He wanted to pretend that Yugi couldn’t possibly understand his grief; Kaiba couldn’t pretend anymore. He couldn’t look away from the fact that Yugi was right . He reached for his phone and called his therapist for an emergency session.

“I see,” Reiki said after Kaiba finished explaining everything that had happened in the Duel. Funny how there was a time when Kaiba would have just let this fester. Perhaps he was getting something out of these sessions with Reiki, even if it was just somewhere he could vent all his anger and frustration. “I’ll confess: I don’t know much about Duel Monsters. I only know what my daughter says about the game. However, that does sound like a rather intense Duel. Have you given any thought to what Yugi had said during the duel?”

“I’ve given it nothing but thought,” Kaiba said as he stood up and headed down the hallway now that the weight was fully off chest, images from the Duel flashing through his head. He glanced around, surprised that no one had bothered him yet. “I just keep thinking about my dragon chained down and how Yugi had been so confident about his assured victory.”

“He is an undefeated champion,” Reiki pointed out. “Just like you had been confident that you might have won because you’re adapting to the meta, he had reason to be confident in his victory too.”

“I thought you were supposed to be helping me.”

“I am,” Reiki said, sounding amused. “Sometimes help is reminding you about the world you live in. Just like how I have to remind you that Mokuba isn’t out to get you by enforcing the new rules of the company.”

Kaiba scoffed. It seemed like no one was on his side when it came to spending more time at work. “I should replace you.”

“By all means, Seto. Make my life easier,” Reiki said and Kaiba couldn’t help but grin at the familiar rib. It was becoming easier to trust Reiki. Partly because it had been months of Kaiba revealing himself and none of it showed up elsewhere. Reiki had kept his promise, allowing Kaiba to return to full time work and had been the one to sign off that he was ready to live on his own. Kaiba owed a lot to Reiki. “Though, you did call for a reason. This Duel seems to have stirred up old feelings that you wanted to forget.”

Unfortunately, part of the problem with having opened up to Reiki is that Reiki now knew him far too well. More than he was comfortable with. “I suppose,” he admitted as he stepped into his dressing room, closing the door behind him. There was no point in lying. Reiki would know. “It was… Uncomfortable.”

“Growth involves a lot of discomfort, Seto,” Reiki said gently. “Whenever you move past grief, you’re growing. And it won’t be easy. Grief has a tendency to consume and it demands to be felt.”

Seto felt tears pricking at his eyes and hated that sometimes, he couldn’t contain his emotions anymore. He locked his dressing room door, putting the phone on speaker and setting it on a dresser. He shrugged his jacket off and glanced around at the bare bones room. “I don’t want to feel grief,” Seto finally said, emotions overtaking him that he could not name. “I don’t want to feel anything.”

“No one can feel nothing,” Reiki countered. “Unfortunately, Seto, you’re human. You’re going to feel emotions, whether you like it or not. It is better you be prepared to feel emotions you don’t want to feel and have coping skills for them rather than deny you have emotions.”

As much as he wanted to argue, Seto knew he could not. Reiki was right.

#fic: you'd come back to me #myfanfic #hello chapter nine is here

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