#there will be blood and tears. by everyone

[arvandus]

FICS FOR GAZA

Hello everyone, I've decided to join the @ficsforgaza fundraiser. I've had a couple people express interest, and I think that every little bit helps. I will be offering WIP donations as well as drabble requests.

Donations are to be submitted to a vetted fundraiser. Do NOT send donations directly to me or to @ficsforgaza. Once you have completed the donation, send me a private screenshot of proof of the donation. Once I receive proof, I will update my WIP and request list and begin writing!

If you have any questions about the donation process, please view the pinned post for @ficsforgaza. If you have questions about the WIPs or requests, please reach out to me.

Total funds raised: $16

REQUESTS

$2 donation = 100 words

1k word maximum ($20 donation)

Send me a character/characters and a dialogue prompt, trope, or just an overall idea that's been plaguing your brain lately and I'll write a short drabble/ficlet for you!

Fandoms I will write for: BNHA, Obey Me!, Wind Breaker, JJK, Haikyuu, Blue Lock, Black Butler, AOT, Bleach, Tokyo Revengers, Bungo Stray Dogs

Characters I will write for: Any! Bring it on, I love a challenge.

Will write: x reader (any gender), character ships, OCs, aged-up characters; SFW/NSFW, dark content (noncon/dubcon, yandere, etc). NSFW & dark content requests must provide proof of being 18 or older (request made off anon with age indicator in your tumblr bio). Note: If you want to make a NSFW/dark content request but remain publicly anonymous, send me a private message OR the same request off anon so I can verify. I will respond to your request using only the anon submission once you're verified.

Will not write: pedophilia; NSFW minors (even if no adult character is involved); anything involving bodily fluids that aren't saliva, tears, or blood; eggs, oviposition; a/b/o. If you're unsure about your request, you can message me privately and I'll be happy to answer, no judgment. :)

WIPs

This list is extensive but by no means complete (I have many more ideas but they haven't been started yet). Here's to hoping your support will help me to clear some of these out of my drafts. :)

$1 donation = 100 words

No donation limit!

OBEY ME

The Confessions of Flowers (Barbatos x GN!Reader) - oneshot; SFW; fluff; friends to lovers

Synopsis: You and Barbatos exchange gifts of flowers and herbs as a way to communicate your feelings to each other.

Current WC: 971

Estimated Completed WC: 1,500

Sponsored WC: 0

Love and Duty - Chapter 2 (Barbatos x f!Reader) - multichapter; SFW (for now); one-sided fake dating; Barb catches feelings (eventually)

Continuation of my multichapter Barb fic. Chapter 1 can be found here.

Current WC: 3,796

Estimated Completed WC: 7,000

Sponsored WC: 0

Just A Game (Barbatos x f!Reader) - oneshot; NSFW; predator/prey; consensual non-con.

Synopsis: It was your idea. You were the one who asked Barbatos to play this game, to hunt you throughout the empty castle while the prince is away. But you didn't expect him to be this good at it.

Current WC: 347

Estimated Completed WC: 4,000

Sponsored WC: 0

Untitled oneshot (Mammon x f!Reader) - oneshot; NSFW; hurt/comfort; car sex

Synopsis: Mammon has had it with the teasing and bullying at his expense. But at least he has one person in his corner - you. You, who tells off his brothers. You who seeks him out. And you who finds him sitting alone by himself in his car.

Current WC: 1883

Estimated Completed WC: 3,000-4,000

Sponsored WC: 0

A Formal Affair (Barbatos x f!Reader x Diavolo) - oneshot; NSFW; public sex but away from prying eyes and ears; casual sexual arrangement; threesome with focus on Reader (reader sandwich!); size kink; anal; oral; questionable uses for a tail... who knows what else, I just go where the hormones tell me.

Synopsis: A formal date with Diavolo to a classical performance, with Barbatos in tow as his loyal shadow, devolves into a night of pleasure and sin that you never expected.

Current WC: 2,892

Estimated Completed WC: 8,000

Sponsored WC: 0

BLACK BUTLER

Blood-bound (Sebastian Michaelis x f!Reader) - oneshot; NSFW; toxic/dark themes; enemies to lovers (but still enemies); blood feeding/drinking, bandages, injuries, rough handling.

Synopsis: The was no one you hated more than Sebastian Michaelis. He was arrogant, sinister, manipulative... and, the most obvious reason, a fucking demon. Which made it all the more infuriating when you woke up to your fatal wounds sealed shut and a hot, raging fire of desire coursing through your veins. A desire that only burned for one arrogant, sinister, manipulative demon.

Current WC: 9,139

Estimated Completed WC: 13,000

Sponsored WC: 0

BNHA

Dabi Christmas Special (Dabi x GN!Reader) - oneshot; SFW; fluff.

Synopsis: You've been repairing Dabi's clothes for him, strengthening their fire resistance with your quirk, for months now. But you never expected him to show up on Christmas Eve, of all nights.

Current WC: 680

Estimated WC: 1,500 - 2,000

Sponsored WC: 0

Tethered (Dabi x f!Reader) - oneshot; NSFW; weed & alcohol consumption; Dabi's an asshole but he's hot.

Synopsis: Insomnia is nothing new for you. It's nothing new for Dabi, either. It's why he's already sitting at the hideout's bar drinking his memories away when you show up for your own night cap. You think nothing of it... just another night of bantering and sarcasm. That is, until he makes you an offer you didn't expect.

Current WC: 6,288

Estimated WC: 8,000

Sponsored WC: 0

The Fall (Overhaul x f!Reader) - oneshot (two parter that will be posted simultaneously); childhood friends to lovers; angst; violence; eventual NSFW in later parts; yandere undertones as things progress.

Synopsis: You'd known Kai Chisaki since that fateful day you saw him, young and filthy, enter the Shie Hassaikai grounds on the heels of the Boss. Over time, a tentative bond between the two of you formed, growing stronger as you got older. But it wasn't enough to keep the young man from spiraling, losing himself in his obsession of purging the world of quirks. After all, he was doing it for you. He was doing it all for you.

Current WC: 9,355

Estimated Completed WC: 20,000

Sponsored WC: 0

Cat and Mouse (Bakugou x f!Reader) - oneshot; NSFW; enemies to lovers; hero vs. villain.

Synopsis: Bakugou prides himself on his ability to stop any villain in their tracks. His record is impeccable, his reputation flawless. That is, until he crosses paths with you, a cat burglar with a quirk that always leaves him three steps behind. Oh, it also doesn't help that you drive him absolutely, utterly wild.

Current WC: 2,603

Estimated Completed WC: 6,000 (hopefully?)

Sponsored WC: 0

Protector (title is tentative) (Bakugou x f!Reader) - oneshot; angst, hurt/comfort; love confession; NSFW

Synopsis: Bakugou's one job was to protect you. You weren't supposed to get hurt. But you did, and now he had to deal with the fallout. It calls into question everything he thought and felt about you. He thought he hated you. He thought you were a pain in the ass. And he thought he couldn't wait for this fucking assignment to be over. But the threat of loss, he realized, hurt more than the threat of failure. And coming so close to losing you has him rethinking every assumption he'd ever made. If only he could figure out what you were thinking. If only he could understand why you jumped in a protected him.

Current WC: 120

Estimated Completed WC: 5,000

Sponsored WC: 0

Untitled oneshot (Aizawa x f!Reader) - oneshot; established relationship; NSFW; somnophilia (consensual)

Synopsis: A heavy work day leaves you exhausted and drained. Luckily for you, you have Aizawa waiting for you at home with the promise of a much-needed massage. Unfortunately, it's impossible for you to stay awake once you're in the comfort of your bed and you have his warm, rough hands on you... but that doesn't stop him from loving every inch of you.

Current WC: 2,053

Estimated completed WC: 4,000

Sponsored WC: 0

JJK

The Ties That Bind - Chapter 1 (Inumaki x f!Reader) - multichapter; arranged marriage; canon adjacent future AU; slowburn; pining; hurt/comfort; mild enemies to lovers.

Synopsis: Inumaki didn't want this. He didn't want any of this. But his loyalty to his clan, and the potential fallout if he refused, forced his hand. Now he's bound for marriage to a total stranger all in an attempt to preserve the Gojo clan bloodline and keep the Six Eyes technique from extinction. The only problem is, you don't want to be here either. And neither of you want to have children.

Current WC: 4,584

Estimated completed WC (for chapter 1): 7,000

Sponsored WC: 0

A Promise To The Dead - Chapter 1 (Gojo x f!Reader) - multichapter fic; Nanami's widow!Reader; pregnant!Reader; canon divergence; childbirth and child-rearing; angst; drama; JJK politics; slowburn; pining; friends to lovers; violence & NSFW in future chapters

Synopsis: Nanami was never supposed to marry, but he did anyway. He was never supposed to have children, but here you were, belly round and filled with life. And Nanami was never ever supposed to die. Now it was Gojo who was left to pick up the pieces, trying to force them together into something believable, something you would accept. Because Nanami never told you what he really was. He never told you about the world of curses and sorcerers. He did it to protect you, of course... to keep you and his unborn child far away from violence and death. But Gojo knew better. He knew that there was no way to keep it from you forever. And when your child's sorcerer abilities manifest at the age of five, he's forced to take you and your child in. It doesn't matter that you hate him. It doesn't matter that you blame him for your late husband's death. And it doesn't matter that a deep, secret part of him has wanted you since the very beginning. Because he made a promise a long time ago that if anything were to happen to Nanami, that Gojo would make sure you were protected and provided for. And Gojo cannot not bring himself to break a promise with the dead.

Current WC: 396

Estimated Completed WC: 8,000

Sponsored WC: 0

#fics for gaza #bnha #mha #obey me #jjk #black butler #kuroshitsuji #wind breaker #haikyuu #bungo stray dogs #blue lock #AOT #SNK #Bleach #Tokyo Revengers #bnha x reader #mha x reader #obey me x reader #black butler x reader #jjk x reader #tokyo rev x reader #bsd x reader #aot x reader #snk x reader #bleach x reader #blue lock x reader #wind breaker x reader #kuroshitsuji x reader

[lavenderspence]

To Lean On You | Spencer Reid

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fam!reader

Content Warning: post prison!Spencer, mentions of addiction, prison talk (typical for the prison arc), gun use, mentions of death, suggestive themes, idiots in love, angst, so much angst.

Word Count: 8.6K

Summary: You and Spencer wasted years, truths hidden, feelings uncertain, and a fear of the unrequited. It took ten weeks, isolated, silent, and broken, for the realization to strike. There was no life, if you didn’t have each other. 

A/N: It’s finally here! Wow, writing this was a wild ride, honestly. Over a month of writing, blood, sweat, and tears poured over it (there were in fact some tears). This is also the first thing I’ve written in 3 years and I'm very happy to finally be out of my slump. It's probably the angstiest thing I've written ever, and at the same time, I feel like it's not the greatest, but deep down, I still love it, haha. Let me know if I've missed any warnings. And, enjoy and any feedback is appreciated. <3

Here are some of the songs I listened to while writing this if you want to get into the mood:

Hearts by Jessie Ware

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived by Taylor Swift

Lost Without You by Freya Ridings

In This Shirt by The Irresponssibles

79 days, 3 hours, and 27 minutes - that’s how long it’s been since he got arrested in Mexico.

70 days, 6 hours, and 13 minutes since you saw him being pulled out of the courtroom after he was deemed a flight risk and denied bail. 70 days, 6 hours, and 13 minutes have passed since you last saw him.

65 days, 7 hours, and 11 minutes, since he was transferred to Millburn Correctional Facility, and this whole nightmare, had started. 

Per Penelope’s carefully crafted schedule, every team member has made numerous trips to visit Spencer - every member except you. You’d only made one trip out, and that had been 3 days after he’d been transferred.

March 4th, 2017

It’s been 8 days since you saw him led in cuffs out of that courtroom, where Penelope had broken down in Luke’s arms, everyone too shocked to make a sound. He’d looked back, his eyes meeting yours briefly, and it had been as if you’d almost seen your reflection in the mirror, every emotion had run between you both in a matter of seconds. 

Shock, you’d almost been sure they would grant bail, and you’d be able to take him home. Almost. 

Fear, for his future and his well-being. Fear of the uncertain. 

Desperation, the desire to run to him and take him into your arms, finally, and to not let go. 

Except you’d held his gaze for as long as you could before you’d looked down and turned your head to save him from seeing you break down in tears. You’d made a hasty escape after that, not sparing any of your teammates a glance, and walked out of the courthouse, stopping by a tree outside. The urge to curl up into a ball and hide, pretending none of this had happened, was strong, and then a hand wrapped around your shoulder. You had turned around, only to see Rossi and one of his sad little smiles, the ones you rarely saw.

“It’s going to be okay,” he’d said, squeezing your shoulder. ”The kid is strong.”

You’d sniffled, trying to hide the tears in your voice. “Yeah, well, I’m not sure I am," you’d whispered in despair. 

You were better than you had been 8 days ago, calmer. Although still heartbroken, you were looking forward to seeing him, seeing with your eyes that he was okay. Garcia had seen him, 2 days ago, before you’d been sent out on a case.  

“He looks good. I mean, as good as that big genius brain of his can look in prison. His eyes were sad though, really, really sad.” She’d paused as if to assure herself it would be alright, “I’m sure he’s looking forward to seeing you, sweetness.” She’d squeezed your hand, but her statement hadn’t rung true. 

Your hands were shaking, you weren’t sure what from. The anticipation you’d felt? The nerves? Or the words you had a hard time coming to terms with.

“I’m sorry, but your name isn’t on Spencer Reid’s approved visitor list,” the guard at the checkpoint had said after rechecking the list. 

“There has to be a mistake, I made an appointment,” you insisted, feeling yourself unravel. It wasn’t possible, you knew for a fact you were on that list, Emily had made sure of that.

“Look, lady. There are only 10 names on that list, and yours is not one of them. Now, you need to move, because there are people here waiting to see their loved ones.” you’d hiccuped and turned around, walking to the lockers to unlock your gun, badge, and phone. 

“I’m here to see a loved one.” You’d wanted to scream, but you knew it would have been futile. There wasn’t anything you could do at that moment. 

You walked to your car, dialing Emily’s number, “This is Prentiss.”  

For a second, only your breathing could be heard over the sound of the wind, and then a tiny sniffle. You wiped at your eyes and nose, and then spoke up, barely, “Why am I not on Spencer’s approved visitor list?” 

“What do you mean? Every member of this team is on the list. So is his lawyer and Diana, even Derek,” you could hear the surprise in her voice, yet you couldn’t keep calm any longer.

"They refused to let me see him! I made the appointment, Emily, and I came, hoping I’d finally see him hear his voice, and ask him-” Your voice broke mid-sentence, and after taking a deep breath, you continued, “Ask him if he was okay, and I was denied because out of the 10 names on that list, it seems mine’s not one of them.” You finished defeated, barely above a whisper.

All was silent for the moment, save for what you could hear was Penelope’s voice on the other end of the line, quietly asking what was going on, “Let me call Fiona and the warden, and I’ll see what happened. Meanwhile, I need you back here, because we just got a case.” Her voice wasn’t leaving anything up for discussion. Still, you couldn’t go, not until you saw him. 

“Emily-” she cut you off.

“It’s not a discussion. I’ll resolve this, but I need you here and your head in the game. Am I clear?” Her voice was stern, but maybe that’s exactly what you needed. Maybe.

“Yeah, clear. I’m on my way back.” You took a deep breath and started the car and the journey back to Quantico, but your mind stayed right there, on the bars that kept you away from the one thing you held dearest. 

As it turns out, there was nothing the warden or Fiona could do. Even Emily Prentiss, Unit Chief of the BAU, couldn't “resolve” the situation. Days, weeks, and months passed, and for 70 days you couldn’t see him, isolated out, not even knowing why.

“-to be in the courthouse in one.” You snapped out of your thoughts, only catching the end of the sentence, digging the heels of your hands into your eyes. You were tired, and it had little to do with the fact that you had been up all night, going over all the evidence with the team and tracing Lindsey Vaughan’s steps to a T in an attempt to exonerate Spencer and finally bring him home. 

You were exhausted, both physically and mentally. You’d been up for more than 24 hours now, but then you hadn’t been sleeping all that well to begin with. Every single night was spent wondering how Spencer was doing, and every time you closed your eyes, you saw him in that cell in Mexico. 

His eyes were red, high out of his mind, barely coherent, dirty, and injured - a far cry from the person you were used to seeing every single day - energetic, passionate, and brilliant. After 12 years, if there was one image you wished to erase from your memory, it was this one. Not all the blood you’ve seen spilled, every victim, be it men, women, or even children, all the horrors of the job, but this. Maybe it made you a bad person, but there was nothing worse than seeing the one person you held dearest at their lowest and not being able to do anything to stop it.

Every waking hour that you weren’t on the job was spent wondering how he was doing and if he was okay. If he was healthy, unharmed, and safe, or as safe as an FBI agent could be in prison. But most of all, the one thing that had kept you up at night, slowly destroying your sanity and making you question everything, had been the one question you couldn’t seem to get an answer to. 

“Why doesn’t he want to see me?”

You’d asked everyone and had waited with battered breath for an answer, a clarification on the matter, and it never came. As shocked as you had been at the notion that you wouldn’t be seeing Spencer for an indefinite amount of time, your team had been even more shocked. They knew the kind of relationship you and Spencer had, how close you’d become over the years, and how much you relied on each other. 

You’d asked every team member, you’d asked yourself, you’d even asked Spencer in a few of the letters you wrote to him, and then there had come a point where you just stopped. 

You were torturing yourself more than enough, day after day, and every single night, asking yourself a question you wouldn’t get an answer to. Not as long as he was locked up in that hellhole and you were out here, trying to keep together the pieces of something, that was on the verge of breaking. 

You felt a hand taking hold of yours, and for a second, you tensed up. Pulled out of your thoughts, you looked up and were met with chocolate brown eyes, full of worry - Emily’s eyes. 

You glanced around the room, only to realize it was empty, save for the two of you. You hadn’t felt when the others had left, that’s how deep in thought you had been. 

“Where did you go? I’ve been calling your name for a while now,” she spoke gently, squeezing your hand. If you were honest, that’s the first time she asked you anything about the situation. You’d spent weeks suffering in silence and trying to pretend that you weren’t slowly dying on the inside. 

You briefly thought about lying, it wouldn’t be the first lie you’d told since Spencer had been incarcerated, but you didn’t have it in you to hide anymore. 

And so, for the first time since Spencer’s hearing, you told the truth.

“Nothing makes sense anymore, Em,” it left you in a whisper, “I’m barely holding it together. I feel like I’m drowning sometimes, and just when I breach the surface, I’m pulled back in. My mind, it’s...I question everything, all the time. My mornings start with thoughts about him, and my nights end with tears over him, over this entire…this nightmare. I keep waiting for my alarm to go off, to wake up and realize that this has been a plot of my imagination, some cruel joke my mind has conjured, designed to show me... "Your eyes welled with tears, prepared to admit something you should have long ago. Emily gave your hand another squeeze, prompting you to continue, and so you did, admitting it for the first time aloud. 

“Designed to show me that I can’t live a life that doesn’t have Spencer in it.” You wiped at your eyes, willing your tears at bay. When you dared to look up, you were met with the eyes of the only other person besides Spencer who has been a constant rock in your life for the last 11 years. What you saw in her eyes then wasn’t surprise like you’d thought, but relief. It took you a moment to fully read her, but it was like a switch had gone off when you finally did. 

“But you’re not surprised to hear this, are you?” you smiled sadly, a light laugh leaving you. 

“I wouldn’t be a good friend if I didn’t have my suspicions, and I’d be an even worse profiler,” she smiled at you, “Plus, there are some feelings that you just can’t hide,” you blinked, and then you blinked again. You hadn’t come right out and said it, and yet she knew, she somehow knew. 

“I didn’t mean it like that.” you tried to backtrack, but you knew it was a losing battle. Emily knew you well enough to smell your bullshit from miles.

“That’s exactly how you meant it, and don’t even try to deny it. I see it every damn day. It’s how you leave the room whenever you hear someone talk about visiting Spencer. You don’t want to hear how he’s doing because you wouldn’t believe it, not unless you see him with your own eyes. But you can’t, so you’ve resigned yourself to the torture of not knowing instead of giving yourself the smallest amount of peace by asking. You’ve been suffering in silence for almost three months, too stubborn to say anything, thinking you were doing yourself a favor. And what for? You’re crying yourself to sleep every night and coming to work the next morning, pretending everything is fine when clearly it’s not. You think you’re fooling everyone, but the only person you’re tricking is yourself. And how’s that working out for you?” she had a point, and it’s not like you weren’t aware of that fact. You knew what you were doing wasn’t okay or healthy. You had the most stable support system imaginable to get you through the hardest parts. It was hard, though, especially when the person who was suffering the most was the person who’d taken your heart with him. 

“Way to call me out, boss.” you were just about ready to end the conversation, you couldn’t take any more of this. You’d promised each other long ago that you wouldn’t profile each other but you had a feeling that was exactly what Emily was doing right now. Maybe not on purpose, and with every good intention imaginable, but you didn’t want that. You didn’t want one of your best friends to try to understand you based on behavioral analysis right after you’d spilled your soul out to her. 

“Just calling it the way I see it, someone has to,” she smiled, but then she shook her head a little before continuing. “What I want to know is why you didn’t say something earlier. You know I would have been there to listen, and so would have the team.” Damn, Emily Prentiss.

You didn’t have to think hard about it, you’ve been ruminating over everything for days. You were trying not to, but whenever your mind wasn’t focused on a case or the many drinking nights spent in Penelope’s purple adobe, that was where your mind would take you.

“Out of fear, I think,” you started, unsure for a second, still nervous to admit it. It wasn’t exactly what she was asking, but it was a start, “I was afraid, and I still am. I’ve been baiting myself into thinking it was just some sort of fondness, a little stronger than that which you feel towards a friend, and far lesser than what it actually is. I thought that if I didn’t say anything, I could go on lying to myself, and nothing would have to change, we wouldn’t have to change. Because words hold meaning, and an admission like that holds weight. What would I have done if it was just me who felt like this? I would have ruined the one thing we’ve both cherished for over a decade.” It felt good to finally say all of this out loud instead of holding it inward. But then again, Emily always knew when you'd had enough. 

She’d told you time and time again the same thing Hotch had asked of her when she returned to duty after faking her death: “Let me know when you are having a bad day.”. Honestly, you’d held off long enough, and so had she. It was a whole miracle she hadn’t pressed you about your behavior earlier. 

“That’s not what I was asking,” you said, shaking your head with a smile to let her know that you weren’t done speaking. 

“Everyone was suffering as a result of what happened in Mexico, what I was feeling wasn’t any different, Emily.” You were flippant about it, you always have been. You preferred isolating yourself and hiding everything instead of seeking a shoulder to bear the weight of what you felt. 

“Our sadness came from the fact that our friend was framed. And yours? That’s different.” 

“It isn’t,” she scoffed, getting up. Now you really felt like you were about to get scolded like a child.

“Yes, it is. God, you and Spencer are the same. It’s like I’m looking at his doppelganger without the whole… IQ of 187. You share some of the worst qualities a person can have,” you laughed at that, “You are both changeophobes-” you cut her off

“Metathesiophobia, fear of change.” She only raised her hand at you, as if to say, “See, you even sound like him,” which made you laugh even more. 

“You close yourselves off after a sad or traumatic experience, silently hoping you’d be able to get through the worst of it on your own. Most of the time, it’s evident that’s not the case. You only ask for help when you’ve reached rock bottom or have no other choice, but you’ve had a choice from the get-go. Your stubbornness even stems from the same anxieties, it’s infuriating,” she seemed to calm down then, in defeat maybe, or she hadn’t been mad, to begin with, she sat down again. 

“My point is, it shouldn’t have taken you learning that he might be coming home today to tell me all of this. I’ve known for a long time that there was something far more than platonic friendship on your end. You shouldn’t have tortured yourself since his trial to try to put the puzzle pieces together. You aren’t late, you have all the time in the world to say what you feel and what you want, and rejection shouldn’t be a factor, believe me. You need to make peace with that fear because Spencer is coming home today. And whether you are ready or not, you both need to have a serious conversation.” You appreciated her determination about Spencer being released, but then again, you had more than circumstantial evidence to support the fact that he was innocent. But, as always, Emily was right. He was coming home today, and after months of not seeing each other, there were a lot of things you needed to say. 

“I know. Thank you, Emily, for everything,” you whispered, squeezing her tight. 

Spencer’s POV

The first breath of fresh air after being on the inside for months felt far more overwhelming than he thought it would be. Being in charge of your being and your responses and emotions felt almost unnatural like the feeling of it didn’t belong to him. The sound of the wind and the traffic, people’s voices, and even the simple act of getting comfortable in the leather seats of the jet overwhelmed any ability to concentrate and think straight. 

In itself, it was strange. The prison was loud, the prison commissary at breakfast, lunch, and dinner was a cacophony of prisoners talking, cells being opened, and guards barking orders. The yard was loud too, although, in the middle of nowhere, nature could still be heard - the sounds of trees and the lone birds, if he had to guess a mix of Mourning Dove and Field Sparrow. Their songs were soothing most of the time, a welcome distraction from the usual noises around him. 

Without the atmosphere he’d gotten used to and subjected to all of those sounds and people whose presence he found comforting before, he now felt almost out of place. He wanted to feel at peace, he wanted to feel free, and although he technically was, his mind was more trapped than he’d actually been in that 2 by 2 cell in cellblock C.

He kept replaying some of the hardest moments from his time in, every threat, every punch he’d gotten, and the phantom feel of the fists connecting. Luis’ blood on his hands, the smell of bleach incorporated with the drugs, the tip of the sharpened toothbrush embedding into his thigh. All he’d done to survive, harm, and more harm, only to make it out alive. 

He barely recognized himself. He’d deliberately ignored looking at himself in the small plastic mirror in his cell, for fear of seeing what he’d had to become. Gone was the Spencer who’d use his brain to get out of situations, whose obliviousness more often than not helped to balance his intellect with the socially acceptable. Gone was the bubbly personality of a kid excited to share a plethora of facts with his friends. 

In his place sat a man, tormented by the reality of the hatred felt towards him. The reality of being a pawn in a game whose complexity could have been his downfall. A man whose genius, as much of a blessing, could sometimes be a curse. A man who had felt too much and was made to experience far more loss than his quaint heart was able to take. In the end, he kept losing, be it his father, by no choice of his own. His mentor, at the hands of a killer’s insanity. His friends and loved ones, hoping for a better life or his freedom, made to rot in a place he didn’t deserve to be in. 

Some would doubt that he had anything at all left to lose. All in all, how much more could the scrawny twelve-year-old child prodigy, left to survive in a public high school, take? 

His mind had been plagued by that question for years. He’d thought about that more than he’d like to admit. After every loss, there’d been a split moment where he’d asked himself what was next. What would be the next thing life would take from him? And every time, he’d had to wonder if, next time, life wouldn’t reach for the one thing he couldn’t allow to be taken from him. The one thing that, were he to lose, he’d never recover. He had hoped, sometimes prayed, that after everything he’d seen, everything he’d lived through, this would be the one thing that’d be spared. 

Locked in that cage, he’d tried even harder to ensure that there wouldn’t be another loss in his life - not anymore. Be it good or bad, he’d done everything. For 70 days, he’d had to assure himself he was doing what he thought was right, and what he wasn’t saying, he’d be forgiven for. He’d had to dodge questions and see the disappointment in his friend’s eyes, and when that wasn’t enough of a burden to bring all of his anxieties to the surface, he’d resigned himself to reading the words of the person he was doing all of this for - you. 

He’d reread every letter to the point where the edges of the papers were worn out, even though he’d known the contents by heart on the first read. He tortured himself by looking at your handwriting, analyzing the slanting of the words and the pressure of the pen. The little stains on the paper, he didn’t have to be a genius to know, were your tears. It broke his heart, to know he was causing you this much pain. He didn’t need to be there to see it, he felt it through your words.

He often questioned if it was worth it, if he was protecting you, or himself, or maybe even what you were or weren’t.

Even now, the weight of your words sat heavily on his mind, and right by his heart, in the pocket of his jacket, he felt the weight of the 9 letters you wrote. 

As he looked over from the little window of the jet, he couldn’t help but wonder if, in his desire to shield you from everything, he hadn’t gone too far. Ultimately, was he going to be forgiven, or be forced to pick up the pieces of the reality broken by his own doing?

“Don’t do that.” JJ’s gentle voice startled him from the overwhelming nature of his thoughts. She’d spent the last 30 minutes since they boarded silently observing him, waiting for him to pick up a conversation. But he’d decided to stay num. 

In every twitch of his fingers, in his desire to get comfortable but being unable to, she could see that he was restless. If she had to guess, his mind was much the same. 

“Do what?”

She gave him a look, one, had he not known her long enough, he might have been offended by. Clearly, she was offended herself, watching him play the clueless card. 

“Spence, I don’t need to profile you to know that your mind’s running a thousand miles a minute, contemplating your decisions, and I don’t think you should. You did what you thought was right, and no one blames you for that, not for Mexico, and not for what you did after,” she spoke evenly, gathering even Penelope and Alvez’s attention from where they sat. He looked over, receiving a smile and a nod from both before focusing on JJ again. 

Rationally, he knew she was right about everything. He didn’t need to run himself ragged with everything he could have done differently, or search for the perfect way to explain, or overall, the perfect outcome of his own decisions. He knew there wasn’t one, there was no perfect way to say what he needed to, no perfect words to pick so he could fix this and erase the pain he knew he’d caused. 

Perfection wasn’t something you could strive to achieve, because there’s no such thing as perfection. The term was diverse, everyone had a different perspective on what that might look like. If for JJ, perfection was the family that waited for her at home every time she returned from a case, for Spencer, perfection was vastly different. 

For him, perfection was the rich aroma of coffee that could cause someone’s insulin to spike because of the amount of sugar in it. The softness of a book page between his fingers, or the familiarity of a book he’d read before but needed to revisit. 

Perfection was the sound of your laugh whenever he was the one to prompt the sound. The way your eyes lit up every time you listened to him babble on. Perfection was the time he got to spend with you every day, every hour, and every minute that he could remember with almost scary accuracy. 

He could sit and wonder what the perfect way to go about this was, but there simply wasn’t one, there was only the truth. And as painful, hopeful, or even a little dumb as it was, that was the best he could give.

And maybe that’s what his mind should focus on instead, the truth, in its simplest form, at its core the truth he’d hidden for months, and then the truth he’d hidden for years. 

He had wondered long enough if he’d made the right choice. He spent plenty of time focusing on the shame he’d felt, prompted by the disappointment he’d seen in his friends’ eyes whenever they brought up your name. How he’d sit, silent, or give an answer so short and angry, it’d add even more shame to the one he already felt. 

Beyond his time in prison, where he spent most of his time questioning his decisions, he spent years before that questioning himself as a person. His place on the team, his intelligence, even his failings. His inability to form relationships where he’d be seen as more than Dr. Reid, or the skinny kid, pretty boy, or a genius. A relationship that’d make him feel like simply Spencer, without the added adjectives, that sometimes made him feel like a circus clown. 

Only when he’d been locked up, had he started to realize that he’d finally built a relationship with someone with whom he could be himself. The most basic, boring, and peaceful version of himself, and slowly, all had started falling into place. 

How content he felt whenever he was around you, the desire to tell you every good or bad news he received. How when you asked about his mother, it warmed his heart, or how worried he felt when you acted stupid in the field. How out of control he’d felt when you’d gone missing last year. Or even, at the time, the unexplained jealousy he’d felt seeing you talk with another man.

Morgan had asked, once, twice, a lot, if maybe he didn’t have a crush, but he’d denied it, every time. And every time he’d question himself, he'd dismiss the idea just as quickly. 

Yet, upon being forced away from you, the pieces had started mending into one. 

Every realization he’d had was like a new broken piece being glued to the overall mosaic. And every new piece added built everything he felt about you. And it was a lot, and it was overwhelming, and so, so right, it sometimes felt wrong. Because he was inside a prison of his own doing, and you were out there, made to wait for him, for an explanation, for the truth. 

And he’d vowed to himself that the moment he was out, he’d put everything on the table, no matter how much he’d fucked up or how much he’d hurt you. He’d sit there, and he’d let it out, and if necessary, he’d even beg for your forgiveness. 

Because there wasn’t a moment in this life, he wanted to live through, without you there with him.

Your POV

You pulled the trigger, your eyes focused, and your hands steady. Three consecutive shots were fired, each one hitting its intended target. Three more followed, and then as many as it took to empty the magazine. 

You put down the gun and took a deep breath, steadying your heartbeat, trying to rid yourself of the deep-seated anxiety you felt. An odd sense of calm overtook you whenever you found yourself at the shooting range. Maybe it was the everpresent scent of gunpowder or the quiet only disturbed by the firing of a gun. Or even the possibility of escaping your rising thoughts, the desire to run or scream, sometimes both. 

There was a sense of solitude there that almost made it easier to breathe. The repetitive motion and the weight of the gun in your hands felt like second nature. 

Front sight, trigger press, follow through, just like Hotch had taught you all those years ago. As long as you held that gun, your mind was quiet, and you focused on something other than the worry you felt. 

It made sense you found yourself there shortly after Emily had shared the long-awaited good news - Spencer was finally free, and JJ, Penelope, and Luke were on route back with him. For a short moment, you’d felt the weight being lifted from your chest, and then it dropped again, now tripled. 

Suddenly, your earlier conversation with Emily had gotten as real as the target before you. Even with the sense of peace, you’d felt after, your thoughts on the matter clear, you still felt a sense of dread at the idea of seeing him. 

As if he wasn’t your best friend, the man who’d long ago won your affection and captured your heart, but rather a stranger who held your future in his hands. And he might as well be, because whatever the truth to the questions you wanted answered was, one thing was for sure.

It’d either make or break you both.

You picked up a new magazine, and loaded the gun, aiming at the target before releasing the safety. Before you fired again, you released a breath, and with it, all the feelings within you - fear, uncertainty, yearning, and the sense of madness, which, although mild, was persistent.

You fired once, twice, your aim impeccable, and then, out of nowhere, you missed. 

The hair at the back of your neck rose, your heart rate quickened, and the feeling of another’s presence in the room was unmistakable. It took you just a second to put the pieces together, the intrusion felt like anything but that. 

Instead, for a brief moment, the person brought with them a familiar feeling of calm. In the next instance, though, reality came crashing like a tidal wave, and you knew you’d run out of time. 

Your hands shook as you put down the gun. You could feel him watching you, probably standing next to the door, as if he couldn’t will himself to move closer. The anxiety was palpable in the air, although you couldn’t really say if it was yours or his, most likely, it was a mix of both.

You went to reach for your protection but hesitated. Once you took it off, there’d no longer be an excuse for you to ignore him, you’d finally have to meet the reality he’d so carefully crafted for you.

Even though you felt like you could barely breathe, the desire to finally lay your eyes on him won out. 

Without missing another beat, you took off your earplugs and then your eye protection. You could faintly hear the sound of shoes squicking against the floor. He could never stay still when he was nervous.  

You picked up on the sound of your own breathing too, the beating of your heart was almost erratic. You were waiting, what for, you weren’t sure. 

He was waiting too, for you to turn around, to lay his eyes on you. Like a sadist, waiting to see the pain he’d caused, or a masochist, wishing for his own in turn. 

70 days of slowly killing you both.

When you finally dared to turn around, it took you a moment to fully take him in. He looked like the Spencer you knew, yet there was something different about him too. Dressed in his usual suit and tie outfit, he didn’t look comfortable. His posture was rigid, almost defensive. It wasn’t a conscious decision, that much you were sure of.

His hair was longer, pushed back, curling at the ends, and he’d lost some weight. Not much, but enough to make an impression after all this time. He looked pensive, like the weight of the world sat on his shoulders, but maybe it was just the weight of the consequences he had to face.

Your eyes ran over every inch of him multiple times, intentionally avoiding his gaze for as long as possible. Seconds and minutes passed, and you weren’t really sure how much exactly. 

Spencer knew, though, of course, he did. If his fear of meeting you eye to eye was as great as yours was, you knew he was counting until the torture of the act itself was over. 

89 seconds he’d counted, although now with you there, they felt longer than the days without you did. 

When you eventually met his gaze, you felt a part of your heart chip on the inside. What people said about the eyes being a portal to one's soul couldn’t have been more right in that moment. Spencer, a man who excelled at hiding his emotions when he really wanted to, had let them out as clear as day for you to see. 

His eyes sparkled with so much sadness and guilt that it threatened to take you apart even before he had the chance to talk. Something softened within you at that moment, but in the next instance, it was like someone else took over. 

One moment you wanted to cry for him or with him, and the next you felt like your whole being needed to be let out. 

“Is that…is that all you can offer me right now? More of your silence? Don’t you think I’ve had enough of that?” The questions, a few of many to follow, had a bite to them. 

His face fell a little, taken aback by your tone. He fidgeted with his fingers, unsure what to say, or where to start. How could he answer your question? He pictured a scenario where his words flew freely, where he gave you an explanation worthy of forgiveness and a confession, so earnest that it ended with you in his arms. 

Try as he might, the words didn’t come to him, just a barely audible accusation. 

“That’s not fair.”

You scoffed, as if in outrage. A madness, one born out of so much heartbreak, took over, it was blinding. If someone had asked you to explain yourself, you’d say that wasn’t you. You’d never be so forward, almost cruel, to him, but at that moment, being mad sounded so much better than being vulnerable. Like a shield, you weren’t ready to let go of yet.

“How exactly is this not fair, Spencer? It’s the truth!” you yelled, and you felt free, finally letting it all out. “You want to know what isn’t fair, though? The way you isolated me OUT of your life! For three months, I’ve had to stand on the sidelines and beg for scraps, just to know you were okay. Every pitiful look I’d get from the people I consider family felt like another stab to the heart. That’s what’s not fair!” You were screaming so loud. It was a good thing the range was soundproof, otherwise, the whole of the BAU would have been deep in your business by now. 

If he looked surprised by the accusation, he didn’t really show it. His posture took a turn, though. The rigidity disappeared, and in turn, it opened, as if the need to comfort you overpowered the uncertainty or the mask he’d had to hold while imprisoned. 

You didn’t want his comfort, not right now. Maybe later, when all was said and done, you’d get to have a normal conversation without the frustrations of the past. At that moment, you just wanted everything out of your system. You wanted the questions, the answers, and the truth. 

His silence continued as he started closing the distance between you. You wanted to move, to create more distance, but there was nowhere to go. You were squeezed between the range, and him. Whatever else was left than to continue begging for clarity.

“It’s not fair being sent away the first time I came to see you. To learn you didn’t want to see me! Each time it was my turn to visit you, do you want to know where I was? I sat outside that fucking prison, wishing for a glimpse of the person who’s been my rock for 12 years! Holding back tears, thinking you didn’t…you didn’t care like I did. Is this what I really deserve after 12 years by your side?” You almost slipped, you almost told him, and maybe you should have, it might have prompted him to talk or to say something. But no, he stayed silent. Step after step, he limped, his cheek twitched, and his brows furrowed, but like a coward, he remained quiet. 

He was meters away from you, three more steps, and he’d completely close the distance, and meet you face to face. 

“Say something, Spencer, damn it!” Your throat burned from the strain, and he advanced even more. “Anything,” you finished in a whisper, and all of a sudden, all the fight left you, and your eyes watered and your vision went blurry. 

He was just a step away then, and when you looked into his eyes, you couldn’t help but see how they shined. 

He reached forward, one hand taking hold of your arm while the other went to hold your waist, but you shook your head. “No, Spencer, please,” you whispered. You didn’t want to find yourself in his arms, because that would be the last of your composure, gone. You’d surrender to the feel of him like you even had a choice not to. 

He didn’t stop, not until you were snug into his arms, one of his hands at the back of your neck, holding your head tenderly, but the arm around your waist held onto you as if he was scared you’d slip away from him. 

Once in his arms, you finally let go, breaking down into pieces, hoping he’d be able to hold them all from crumbling to the ground. 

“Hey, shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” He kept repeating, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on your pulse point. All the while, you could only stand, your arms at your sides, as if paralyzed.

Being in his arms felt like being home somehow. It felt so right after having been deprived of the feeling for so long. It felt like there was nothing wrong, and nothing could go wrong at that moment. 

Even though you hadn't initially wanted his comfort, somewhere deep inside, you craved his tender touch. You craved the feel of his body near and the faint scent that was so uniquely him - a mix of coffee, fall, and old paper, books. You realized then that you craved the sound of his voice too, another part of him you’d been deprived of. 

The voice of the always rambling boy that never failed to bring a smile to your face, even when you couldn’t understand him sometimes. 

And the more he whispered, his voice broken and shaky, the harder you cried. You’d thought nothing could match the heartbreak of his actions or the anger of his silence, but the reality of being held against him brought the realization that your suffering mirrored his own. 

If you’d been dying on the inside for months, he’d been on the other side of the link holding you tethered to each other, dying just as much. 

And you couldn’t hold yourself back any longer after that. You buried your head in the crook of his neck, and your arms finally circled his waist underneath his suit jacket, fisting the back of his shirt as if it were your one lifeline. 

You felt him exhale when you finally returned his touch, most likely in relief, before he dropped a light kiss on your head. 

You cried for the relief of having him back and close. For unspoken truths and time wasted, years of figuring out feelings clear as day. For all the anger, for all of his silence, for all you felt for him. 

He cried for all the pain he’d caused you and for all the time he’d wasted being alone instead of being with you. He cried for himself, he cried for you, and he cried, overwhelmed by his feelings for you. 

You clung to one another, crying, and minutes were passing and neither of you cared. Not when you had each other. 

After a while, when both your tears dried out and your cries quieted, but you still felt the need to hold each other close, you dared to murmur a broken “Why?” hoping he’d hear, hoping he’d understand. 

It didn’t take him long to mumble a reply, no longer silent. 

“All the words in the world available, and I wish I could explain.” it came out just as quietly, both of you scared to break the little bubble you’d found yourselves in. 

You pulled back from him, wanting to look into his eyes, red-rimmed and still sparkling when you felt yourself begging again. 

“Then try, please, because I’d rather know, and not understand, than not know at all.” And it was the truth. He could speak in riddles if he wanted, but you needed to know why he’d made that choice. 

You looked at him expectantly before he pushed a piece of hair back, and his hand once again settled at the back of your head, gently cupping it. 

“I wanted you safe from a world you didn’t belong in,” he admitted on an exhale, like a lifelong secret he’d gotten tired of holding onto. 

You looked at him in wonder, and it was on the tip of your tongue to tell him he didn’t belong in that world either, but just as you opened your mouth to speak, he shook his head. 

“I was ashamed when I had you removed from the visitor’s list. I didn’t want you to see me like that, like a criminal,” he started, pulling you into his arms, not wanting to admit it to you eye to eye, out of fear of being right. Of course, he was wrong, but that didn’t stop him from wondering. 

“The first time JJ visited me, they leered at her like they were being fed fresh meat, taking her in, committing her to memory. A cage full of animals. I knew then that I didn’t want that for you, and any guilt I had at keeping you away disappeared that day. It hurt me, knowing I was failing you and whatever trust you had in me,” he whispered, wishing to keep the reality of his thoughts and his feelings in a little bubble as if you only existed in it.

“I’m not the same person I was before, I couldn’t be him, even if it meant losing a part of myself in the process. I couldn’t really be a decent human being without bearing the consequences. Everything I saw, everything I did, and everything that was done to me, I don’t think I’d ever fully be the person I was before. And that too, I’m thankful I spared you from seeing.” It would explain his rigidity, a defense mechanism he’d had to get used to. 

And while everything he’d said thus far was true the biggest truth, he’d had yet to say. He had yet to really explain why he’d done what he’d done in the first place. He was stalling, still afraid, but the longer he held you, the longer he felt your heart beating in time with his, the more sure he became. 

To hell with the consequences, to hell with whatever happened after, he was right here in the now, alive, breathing, his arms around you, finally at peace. 

He pulled back, took your face into his hands, and finally whispered.

“Most of all, though, I knew I loved you enough to risk us if it meant keeping you safe.” It left him in a rush, a confession waiting to be let out for months. A feeling he’d had for years, and a moment where he could finally be open about it. 

“What…?” you licked your lips, shocked that you might not have heard him correctly. ”What does us mean?” This part of the conversation felt like you were daydreaming about it, it just didn’t feel real. 

“It means whatever you want it to be. Whatever you want us to be.” All of a sudden, it was that simple. 

“So, you love me?” You had a hard time taking it all in, yet your heart fluttered in pure happiness. “And you…you want us?” 

"Yes.” Even before you were done speaking, he was already answering. He was desperate to finally admit he was absolutely smitten by you. 

Months of figuring out your feelings, years of hiding them, a conversation to finally prompt a confession out of you, and all this time it was reciprocated. You could have cried, happiness like no other coursing through you, pure bliss. 

You wanted back into his arms, you wanted to kiss him so badly that your blood was burning from the need to feel him like you'd never been able to before. And yet, you knew there was something else you needed to do before you could finally do it.

“Spence, you don’t push away the people you love, no matter the cost. You rely on their love to help aid you when you’re at your lowest.” You gave his sides a light squeeze before you looked back into his eyes, only to see them hopeful and uncertain at the same time.

He looked hopeful, for the possibility that you might actually love him back, but uncertain because it felt like you might be pushing him away this time. 

“I can’t go through this again. Having to watch you wither away, in prison, at home, or by your own thoughts, I won’t be able to handle being pushed away again,” whispers, cries, pleas, memories full of heartbreak intertwined with present confessions full of joy. 

His eyes watered then, his lips trembling. Any sign of hope was gone, and in its’ place stood the realization of a man who’d maybe gone a little too far. He’d pushed you away, and now, it was your time to be the one sticking and twisting the knife deep, breaking his heart in the process. 

If someone were to ask him at that moment what his biggest regret was, he’d say this. This was his biggest regret, his own choices. 

A tear escaped him, and you reached up, wiping it away gently before you spoke again.

“If..if this is going to go anywhere, you need to rely on me. You need to believe that I can handle anything and everything, just as long as you are by my side. All those years of being pushed away - your addiction, Maeve and Gideon’s deaths, your mom’s diagnosis, Cat Adams - you weren’t alone then, you aren’t alone now, and you won’t be alone in the future. You’ll always have me by your side, you’ll always have my support. Most of all, you’ll have my love, but when things get hard, I need you to lean on me, and trust that I can help you because together we can pull through everything, anything is possible as long as we are together.” You finished on an exhale, full-on crying now. You could barely see him, but from the little you could, you saw tears streaming down his face, and a smile that grew wide, happy.

Those words, he knew them word for word. For 13 days, he’d repeat them, no longer needing to see them written down, he had them engraved in his brain. Your letters he could recite, but your final one he’d remember as long as he lived. 

“I promise to lean on you and trust that you’d help me because together we can pull through everything, anything is possible as long as we are together,” he whispered back, his eyes searching yours for just a moment before he pulled you in, and finally, his lips met yours. 

He kissed you, tentative at first, testing the waters. He wanted to take his time, commit your lips to memory, gentle, and plump, exactly how he’d imagined they’d feel. The more he kissed you, the more he couldn’t stop. Passion, urgency, desire - his kisses turned desperate like he wanted to swallow you whole and never let you go. 

He bit your lip gently, asking for access, before his tongue intertwined with yours and he pulled you flush against him, closing any gap left between you. Chest, hips, there wasn’t an inch where you weren’t touching. 

It felt so familiar, even though you hadn’t kissed before. So right, like no one's kisses had felt before. As if your whole lives, kissing each other was the missing piece in a complicated puzzle, waiting to be put together. Coming together as one, it felt magnetic, a feeling of euphoria, pure ecstasy, no one else mattered, no other feeling mattered at that moment, other than your hands on each other and your lips locked together. 

Time was passing by, and you didn’t care. Years of missed opportunities, hidden feelings, and long-awaited realizations all led to this moment. Starved for each other, a kiss full of fervor and even the taste of tears was present. Unimaginable, but very real.

When you finally pulled apart, he wiped your tears, and you wiped his in turn, before he gathered you back in the comfort of his arms, laying a kiss on the side of your head.

And between the four walls around you, nestled in each other’s arms, the place where no one could touch you, in a shared breath you both whispered. 

“I love you.” 

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#spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid #spencer reid fic #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid x you #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid self insert #criminal minds angst #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds

[monzamash]

pit in my stomach - lando norris

rating – mature (mentions of cheating, language, sexual references) requested by @landograndprix - hugging you tight, my friend!

it was hard to pin point the moment his love for you had been diminished by his crippling guilt or when you knew there was nothing he could say or do to piece you back together. maybe it was around the time you’d asked him point blank whether he saw you in his future and he stuttered over his truth with an unconvincing of course i do when the dagger had already been deployed into your unsuspecting back. naively blinded by love.

or maybe it was the night lando stumbled home from the local, half a pint of slushing lager still in his hand while the other held a small, black velvet box. he dropped down on one knee, eyes bloodshot with tears and a trembling bottom lip – a stark contrast to your hardened stare and crossed arms shielding you from the blow, physically and emotionally spent.

“i fucked up… i-god i hate that i've hurt you, baby and i wish i could take it all back – i fucked up so bad and i’m so sorry.”

“you didn’t fuck up, lando – you fucked someone else for six months and lied to my face and made me feel like i was losing my mind! do you have any idea how much pain you’ve caused?”

the room fell silent, boiling blood pumping in your ears.

“huh?! do you?”

“no–”

“no you don’t! i've been stupid enough to keep chasing after you and all you’ve done is let me down and made me look like a fucking idiot! everyone knew about her, about what you were doing behind my back and you knew it was wrong but you couldn’t stop! you’re a monster and i’m not going to cry over a mistake you made…"

sadness welled as you stared down at the man kneeling at your feet. he was a stranger who only resembled the man you loved in appearance, not in honour or integrity or character – you were grieving the lando who had showed you the world with so much love and adoration and hope.

"you will have to live with this mistake for the rest of your life.”

“you’re right. i will never forgive myself 'cause she meant nothing and i have to fix this – i need to fix this because i love you.. so much. i’ll get help, i’ll see someone just give me a chance to fix it…”

“do you really think that is going to fix it?”

you pointed to the dainty box that held so much weight. in a way it represented a future founded on four years of memories, of something resembling happiness. sure, there had been disappointments, hundreds of missed calls, a few missed anniversaries and your gnawing intuition saying that maybe the paranoia wasn’t just inside your head. but ending like this, in betrayal and heartache – you hadn’t seen that one coming.

lando swallowed the lump forming in his throat, queasy from the drunken stupor he’d drank himself into and the dread settling in the pit of his empty stomach, “thought it might be start…”

a strained laugh slipped from pursed lips as venom coated your sharpened tongue, “and that is how i know you will never change.”

“please,” lando scrambled to his feet and reached out for your hand in an attempt to stop you from walking away, “please don’t leave me…” he begged, voice barely above a whisper.

lando knew he would never forget the look in your eyes when you slowly turned back to him – they were cold and punishing, bone-chilling. they swirled with the web of lies and sorrow that he had inflicted upon the person he loved the most in the world, who had given him everything she had, who loved him unconditionally, which made it nearly impossible to accept that he had lost you.

“you left me six months ago when you slept with her, lando.”

more writing...

#lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris #f1 imagine #monzamashwriting #monzamusings ✨ #lando norris angst #lando norris smut

[nonbinarylocalcryptid]

*rubbing my hands with mischief* guess who found an incorrect quotes generator

So here is a compilation of incorrect quotes from the Astyanax lives/daddy Odysseus AU

Odysseus: Once Astyanax thanked me and I couldn’t decide between “No problem!” and “No worries!” so I yelled “No worms!” to them as they walked away.

--

Astyanax, smol, facing a threat: I am in charge of this disaster!

Odysseus: I have a name, you know.

Astyanax, smol, a little shit: Polyphemus knows

Odysseus: ...

The threat: HAHAHAHAHA

--

Astyanax: Hey Odysseus, can I get some ice-cream?

Odysseus: Only a spoonful!

Astyanax: *Proceeds to pull out a comically large spoon.*

Odysseus: ...

Odysseus, tearing up: that's my boy

--

Astyanax, looking at Odysseus: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.

Odysseus: I hEaR tHaT

--

Astyanax when he's told about the whole horse thing, looking at Odysseus: What doesn't kill me better start running, because now I'm fucking pissed.

--

Astyanax, at Odysseus: Of course you have blood all over you, and pronouns.

Odysseus: I use he/him pronouns...?

Astyanax: FOR THE LAST TIME, EVERYONE HAS PRONOUNS...

--

Astyanax: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany!

Astyanax, earlier while Odysseus was messing up (again): I'm going to throw myself into the sea.

--

Astyanax "I was raised by Odysseus what did you expect" of Troy: I don’t know the first thing about clothes. Pretty much all I can do is look at something and tell you if it’s clothes or not. This chair? Not clothes. That barrel? Not clothes. That middle-aged man who invaded Troy? Not clothes.

--

Astyanax: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons?

Odysseus: Fake?

Astyanax: ...

--

Odysseus: We'll talk about this later.

Astyanax: Fine, I won’t be listening.

--

Odysseus: I will beat all of you in Rock, Paper, Scissors. You go first.

Astyanax: Rock.

Odysseus: Paper.

Astyanax: ...

Odysseus: First rule, never trust anybody

--

Astyanax: I am going to need you to swear-

Odysseus: Fuck.

Astyanax:

Astyanax: ...swear as in promise.

--

Astyanax: Don't have a bookmark? Try ketchup instead!!

Odysseus: What makes you think I read?

Astyanax: ...right, my mistake, that explains a lot of things.

Odysseus: now I'm offended

Astyanax: like the time I was offended by a wooden horse?

Odysseus: ...

--

Odysseus: So, I've been thinking Astyanax-

Astyanax, young but tired of this bs: That's dangerous.

--

Odysseus: Damn, the power went out.

Astyanax: Don’t worry, I got this.

Astyanax: *stomps foot*

Odysseus: What-?

Astyanax: *Sketchers light up*

--

Odysseus: Hoodie pockets are so great. I can fit like three sandwiches and a grenade in there and my hands are still warm.

Astyanax, looking at the sea: I wish Poseidon would take me now

--

Odysseus: The joy of hanging out with Astyanax. You look away for 5 seconds to make sure something is set up correctly, and he bites the tip of a marker off.

--

Odysseus: I should have left you on that street corner where you were standing

Astyanax: bUt YoU dIdN't

--

Astyanax: Odysseus, when’s your birthday?

Odysseus "I'm still thinking about the infant from that night" of Ithaca: Why? So you can look up my natal chart? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me?

Astyanax: …So I know when to wish you a happy birthday.

Have some Odysseus and Hermes, as a treat:

Odysseus: Hi, I'm Hermes's emergency contact.

Counter Woman: You're here to pick him up?

Odysseus: I'm here to remove myself as his emergency contact.

#daddy Odysseus AU #astyanax lives #odysseus #astyanax #hermes #incorrect quotes #epic the musical #the odyssey

[yeonzzzn]

the ending: park jongseong

a break the chain series: seven / seven

pairing: jay x afab!reader word count: 5.2k

synopsis: with the two youngest in danger, the pack fights to find them and push out the traitors to end this war once and for all.

genre: established relationship, vampire!jay, vampire!reader

warnings: swearing, blood + d!!th, that’s about it??

prt 1: vampires bleeding | prt 2: you complete me

☾ heeseung(1) | jake (2) | jungwon(3) | sunghoon(4) | sunoo(5) | niki(6) | jay(7) ☽

Heeseung hoped the traitors had no clue he was awake and had Jay communicate down the bond for everyone to meet in secret and quickly. Thankfully the traitor’s power of reading what is said down bonds only works when they are near everyone. 

And Heeseung knew exactly where they were. 

Everyone was already waiting when Jay and Heeseung arrived, the queen was pacing back and forth in the small cellar room, stopping in her tracks to see Heeseung awake and alive. 

“Oh, Hee!” she cried, rushing to her husband and embracing him in her arms, tears streaming down her face, “Don’t ever scare me like that again!” 

Heeseung pulled his mate back and cupped her face, kissing her tenderly, “I’m so sorry baby,” he whispered after pulling his lips from hers. 

You quickly ran to Jay’s side, his arms already opening to embrace you, “What happened with Lilly?” 

Jay glanced at the king and you followed his eyes, seeing the blood that stained his face. Heeseung killed her. 

“They were going to kill her anyways,” the king mumbled, pulling his mate to his side and standing up straighter, “If we kept her alive her enemies would have continued fighting us,” he looked at every single person in the room, “We need to get our kids back.” 

The witch fumbled with the rings on her fingers, “What do you suggest we do? The traitors have them and will cut communications between the twelve—thirteen including Archer—of us off the minute we confront them.” 

Sunghoon took her fidgeting hands in his, rubbing thumbs over her palms in hopes of calming her down, “We will get them back,” he promised, “There’s thirteen of us, we are unstoppable.”

Heeseung agreed, “The traitors only have a small circle, the rest of the royal guard follows me.” 

“And how are you so sure?” Archer said as he kept his arms crossed and leaned against the wall, “From what Jay said down the bond and word passed to me, they have been watching your every move. How are we so sure they aren’t playing both sides to deceive you in the end?” 

“Archer!” his twin sister snapped, “Do you have doubts about his words?” 

“Hey, now,” Jake said, pulling her to him, “Baby, let’s not assume everything, okay?” 

Archer just shrugs, “Heeseung, I am on your side, always. But I don’t want to step out of this room and be blindsided.” 

The room fell silent and all eyes were on the king. 

“Want to know how we know?” Jungwon spoke up, stepping up beside the king, “As the second in command, I did digging. Watching when everyone thought I wasn’t.” 

Jungwon’s mate whistled, “Leader, second in command, and a spy? What can’t you do?” 

Jungwon just smirks at her then continues talking, “It wasn’t hard to figure out who was and wasn’t with us.” 

Jay furrowed his brows, hand squeezing tighter at your hip, “So you knew this entire time along with Heeseung and never said anything?!” 

Both Heeseung and Jungwon slightly looked at him, their faces filled with guilt and regret.

“I told you,” Heeseung sighed, “I had people up my ass twenty-four-seven, it was kind of hard to give out any information.” 

“When Heeseung first suspected a traitor and that our bond was being cut, he wrote it out to me on a paper secretly, and we started to test it out,” Jungwon held Jay’s stare, “It didn’t take long to figure out this person had that kind of power.” 

“If I could have told you all,” Heeseung said, looking every person in his pack in the eyes, “I would have the minute I knew.” 

“We understand,” Sunoo nodded, “Just tell us what we can do to get Niki and __ back and end this war.” 

Heeseung nodded. This wouldn’t be an easy fight, some would get hurt, but in the end, once it was over, it would be all worth it. 

The witch will keep hold in the cellar with her magical items to search where they are keeping the kids while the elf will be at her side and holding up a barrier of protection on everyone, she wouldn’t be able to hold it for long, so the window for the rest to end the traitors was small, every second counted. 

Archer and his twin sister will be at the rear, since they are skilled with bows and arrows, they will use their weapons to support at the back. 

Jake and Sunghoon will be a unit off to the left of Jay and Heeseung, and the queen, while Jungwon and Sunoo are to the right. 

You and Jungwon’s mate were to be in the middle. With her electricity powers, the witch gave her the crystal that suppressed a fraction of her power inside it and was told to only break it if needed. She was also given a crystal to amplify the power. She was a walking unit of her own. Considering the fact Jungwon was the one who turned her and he was already a unit himself, it only made sense she would be just as powerful as him. 

But you? You felt helpless. Sure you had super speed and vampire strength and were able to learn how to dual wield some daggers, but you had nothing else to bring to the table. You were surrounded by powerful beings. Each of them had something so special, so many gifts. 

Jay stood at Heeseung’s side, listening carefully to the plan he had in mind. His eyes drifted to you, taking notice of how you backed yourself away from the group and stared down at the floor. He could read it all over your face, the way you were doubting yourself. 

Jay stepped back, “YN,” he softly said, his fingers twisting themselves with yours, “What are you thinking?” 

You kept your gaze down on his boots, “I can’t help, not the way I want to.” 

His hands were now cupping your face and lifting it up to look at him, “Why are you talking this nonsense?” 

You cupped your hands over his, “Dorian almost killed me,” Jay winced at the memory of seeing Dorian push you off that cliff, watching your body fall into the water, remembering how pale you looked, and how cold your body was. He hated remembering it. Hated Dorian for what he did to you and gave you the scar he did until it thankfully went away after Jay turned you, “What makes me think I could be strong enough to fight this enemy when I was powerless against Dorian?” 

Jay pinched your cheeks, “Don’t talk like that!” he softly hissed, “You were human when Dorian…” Jay sighs and shakes his head, “You’re stronger now, powerful in your own way. I’ve seen you use those daggers. Baby, you’re so strong.” 

You wanted to believe him. Truly wanted to believe him. 

Jay rubbed his thumbs against your cheekbones, “I love you,” he placed a kiss on your forehead, “So goddamn much it drives me insane.” 

Jay wished he could give you the confidence you were looking for. But he’s still how you fight, the drive you have, and even how stubborn you are. You’ve made a fine vampire and will continue to be a great one. He just wants you to see it. 

“Jay,” Heeseung called him back over, “You and YN get back over here, it’s almost time.” 

Jay quickly pressed a couple of kisses to your lips and pulled you back towards the group. He’ll do everything in his power to get you to see how amazing and strong you are. 

—

Everyone walked to the lobby. Sunoo’s elf already started the protection barrier and Sunghoon’s mate sat in the cellar surrounded by her magic items and drew out a circle on the floor to look for the kids. 

Heeseung leads the pack, quickly stopping and holding his arm out. 

“You’re awake, my king,” E said with a smile, “Welcome back.” 

Heeseung tilted his head, not saying a word. 

E chuckled, “I’m assuming you had fun with our Lilly,” he held his arms behind his back, “I can smell her blood that’s still plastered over your face and clothes.” 

Heeseung was the one smirking now, feeling her now dried and crusted blood cracking against his skin, “She welcomed it. Should have seen the look she gave me, begging me to kill her.” 

E hummed, “It’s better this way, she tried to kill you after all,” Jay scoffed, causing E’s eyes to shift to him, “I suggest you watch your tone, false king.”

Jay took a step in front of Heeseung, “Or what?” 

“Jay, stop!” you tried to shout down the bond, only for it to not reach him. Your hands trembled, this was it. Everything was about to start. 

The queen stood a bit behind Heeseung, her eyes glowing crimson, “You will not speak to him that way.” 

E tilted his head, eyes glaring at her. 

Before any more could be said, M came running from the side room, “Oh King Heeseung!” she shouted, “You’re awake! Oh good heavens—“ 

Jungwon moved fast, his hands gripping the side of her face and twisting it, the crack echoing in the lobby. Jake and Sunghoon were at his sides, grabbing a hold of her arms and pulling, the limbs detaching from her body and Jungwon pulling his blade out and cutting deep into her throat, pushing through until her head was no longer attached to her body. Blood spilled across all three men’s faces and clothes, dropping M’s body to the floor. 

E stood up straighter, gripping his hands tightly, eyes flickering crimson, “Now, was that so necessary?”

Heeseung laughed, his blades appearing in his hands as he pointed one at E, “You don’t take me for a fool, do you? I know you cut off our bond and she could read anything that was said down it,” Heeseung tilted his head to the other side and down, eyes piercing into E, “I caught along a long time ago, traitors.” 

The only sound that could be heard was E’s laughter echoing the castle. You clenched your hands into fists, anger boiling your blood as seeing the man who was supposed to help protect the king, laugh his ass off. 

“I knew you were a good one,” he said, starting to walk back and forth in a pacing manner, “I’ve told you that since the beginning.” 

Heeseung narrowed his eyes, remembering all that time ago when E told him he knew Heeseung would be king and make a fine one. But nothing made sense, not when E wanted him dead. 

“Spill,” Jay snapped, his own weapons appearing, “We aren’t playing these mind games anymore!” 

E stopped pacing and glared at your mate, “Lilly told you everything.” Jay snarled at him, and E just chuckled, “It’s all true. I want Heeseung fucking dead!” 

The rest of the males pulled their weapons free, inching themselves closer to their king. 

“Looks like you’ve failed, obviously,” Heeseung smirked, “Your pons kind of suck.” 

“Dorian was trial and error,” E waved off, “I had faith but not a lot. And Lilly? She was so close yet so far.” 

“Why?” the queen snapped, “What did Heeseung do to you to deserve this?!” 

E smiled, “Why my dear queen,” he leaned forward, “He killed the king. That’s the whole problem.” 

Your body tensed, E was pissed off that Heeseung killed the previous king??

E continued his pacing, “I had a plan, you see, to take out the previous king so I can finally have the throne. But then poor, poor Heeseung’s dear friend had to act out and get murdered by the king.” 

Heeseung gritted his teeth, “Don’t speak of Alannah like that!” 

E ignored Heeseung’s outburst and continued, “As I’ve said before, you’ve had a fire burning in you the moment the previous king dragged your ass in here, so ready for a war that hadn’t happened.” 

The queen placed a hand on her mate's forearm, hoping to keep him calm. 

E continued, “I had everything lined up perfectly on how I would kill the king and take the throne. I didn’t even want to change how he was doing things around here,” E stopped pacing and looked Heeseung deep in the eyes, “I just wanted to be king.”

Jay was gritting his teeth and clenching his hands, E didn’t give a shit about making changes around here. He wanted to rule. Jay, Jake, and Heeseung went through hell and back and more because of the previous king and all E wanted to do was continue that pain and suffering. Jake was also clenching his fists tightly, Sunghoon inching himself closer to his best friend. 

“But you,” E pointed at Heeseung, “You just had to get angry over Alannah’s death and take revenge that night. I watched you steal from the armory and make your way to the study. I watched the fire set ablaze in your eyes as you sliced his neck and severed his head from his body,” E was now clenching his jaw, “It was too late to stop you after you tossed his damn head into the fireplace and dragged his body out to the yard. I do have to say, it was a powerful move on your end to make it a public execution of the remainder of his body.” 

Jay glanced over at Heeseung, the memory of barely running out of the castle with Jake at his side to see Heeseung tossing the remnants of the previous king’s body into the fire. Watching the power transfer to Heeseung and seeing the change of his crimson eyes burning their gold. It was the start of the three of them escaping this place and never looking back until now. 

“It was hard to track you down after the three of you escaped,” E continued with a shrug, “But once I found you and saw you created a pack,” he sighed, “I had to create an army myself to take you out.” 

Heeseung was now laughing, throwing his head back and letting out an exhale. He flung his head back forward, eyes now golden, “Where are my kids?” 

E chuckled, “I poured my heart out and this is what you have to say?” 

Heeseung’s fangs grew to their point and Jay, Jake, Sunghoon, Sunoo, Jungwon, the queen, __, and yourself all let your eyes glow crimson, feeling the power Heeseung was radiating and passing on between everyone. Archer and __’s bows drew back, E only being able to see their crimson eyes from the distance they were in. 

“I’ll ask one more time,” Heeseung warned, “Where is Niki and __?” 

E just smirked. 

A small sparkle of light came into view and stopped in front of Heeseung. Sunghoon smirked, “My mate found them.” 

E’s smirk dropped, his body tensing and preparing for what was to come. Heeseung’s smirk at the globe of light and the way his eyes flickered to E told him everything. War was officially about to be unleashed. With a whip of his hand, he signaled for his army to come to his aid, Heeseung and the rest of the pack were already on the move towards him. 

They knew where their kids were and now it was time to end this. 

Heeseung shifted to make a move at E, but he blocked it. But Heeseung didn’t stop. Shoving his body fully against the courtier and breaking through the doors of the castle, the night sky came into their view. 

The rest of the pack ran right behind them. E’s army surrounds them. 

“I love you,” Jay said down the bond to you. Your heart raced. E must have been caught so off guard he dropped his powers for enough time. 

“I love you, too,” you said back, and you could feel the smile Jay had even with you running behind him. 

“Let’s fucking end thi—“ Heeseung barely was able to say down the bond before E cut it back off. Now shoving Heeseung off him and jumping away, pulling his sword out of thin air. 

The males surrounded E, arrows flying left and right from the dhampir and Archer, targeting E’s army. Jungwon’s mate was quick to break both crystals, her electricity flowed throughout her body, the yellow aura radiating around her as she sped through the army, sending shockwaves their way. 

The army on Heeseung’s side finally showed up, helping you all take care of the others. 

You held your own against the enemy, dodging and turning just how you were taught in training, how Jay showed you. You could feel his hands against your skin as he showed you how to use the daggers, and how he moved your body. It replayed like fire on your skin as you shoved the dagger into the enemy’s chest, using the other to cut through his neck, taking his head clean off and his blood coating your face and clothes. 

Your eyes burned their crimson as you continued to fight your way through E’s army with the help of __ electrocuting them as she went. You rush right behind her. Jay’s words of encouragement from earlier spun around in your head like a web, you weren’t useless. You are powerful in your own way and the way you played the battlefield was proof. 

Jay and Heeseung tagged teamed E, taking turns rushing him back to back to not let him have any time to think or react. And the time either of them failed to make a move, Jake, Sunghoon, Sunoo, or Jungwon made up for it. E was strong, a lot stronger than what Lilly was. Which made sense considering E has been alive a lot longer than all the boys combined. His stamina and speed were like nothing Jay had ever gone up against. Same with the other males. E recovered and healed fast, making it harder to take him down. Along with the army of his that was attacking at the same time, this seemed impossible. 

With their communications down and not being able to coordinate when to strike, this fight was going to drag out longer than they wanted.

Jay gritted his teeth as he lashed forward, swinging his blades quickly, but E moved just as fast, shielding himself with his arms and Jay’s blade slashing through them. 

No moves were working. No amount of swinging their blades worked. The males grew tired and the lack of not being able to drink blood before this fight was starting to wear them down. 

All six males had injuries. Their breaths are uneven. Arrows stopped flying across the sky signaling that Archer and __ were out. 

They surrounded E, circling him and catching their breaths. E just chuckled, “Have had enough yet?” 

Jay locked his jaw tighter, twirling his blades, “When are you going to give up?” 

E laughed, shooting his eyes over to Heeseung, “Not until he’s dead and I’m king!” 

You and Jungwon’s mate finished off a circle of enemies, looking over to the boys, “They need blood,” you said, eyes scanning your mate up and down, seeing the exhaustion weighing him down. 

She nods, voice shaking, “I don’t know what to do…” 

A sparkle of light came into both of your views, it flickering, “Go to them quickly,” the witch whispered through the orb, “E has more of his army coming. The boys need blood. Now.” 

“How—“ __ started to say.

“Your blood. You both may be vampires, but your blood is still very much human circulating your veins until it exceeds out.” 

“What about you, __ and __?? Sunghoon, Jake, and Sunoo will need blood too!” you quickly said, worried about your other pack members. 

A chuckle came from the orb, “Don’t worry, it’s all handled.” 

You and Jungwon’s mate looked at each other quickly then back at the orb, seeing it disappear. 

You then see Jake’s mate running towards you, Archer, the witch, elf, Niki, and his mate right behind them. You could have cried from happiness. The whole pack was here together. They could end this right now. 

You ran with the others, “Do the boys know?” 

The witch smiled, sweat dripping down her face, “More and then some. My magic is running out, I have only so much left. But everything is coming to plan.” 

You didn’t question it, just nodding and rushing to your mate. 

E’s smirk dropped seeing Niki and his mate join in, and then frowned seeing each female stand by their mate. 

“What are you plotting?!” he snapped, eyeing down Heeseung as the queen pressed her back to her king’s chest. 

“What?” Heeseung smirked, wrapping his hand to the front of his mate's neck and tilting her head to the side, exposing her neck and leaning down, “You think we don’t have anyways to communicate?” 

E whipped his head around to Sunghoon and the witch, smirked lined both their faces as Sunghoon’s hand tilted his mate's head to the side, his fangs coming to a point, “We always find a way,” he said, then sank his teeth into his mate's neck, her lips parting from the pressure of his fangs digging in, his free hand gripping her waist as he sucked in her blood. 

Jay pressed your back to his chest, one hand on your jaw and the other on your hip. His mouth watered at the very thought of drinking your blood again, eyes crimson and fangs fully pointed, “I love you,” he whispered into your ear then pierced your skin, squeezing you tightly as he inhaled your blood. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,” he repeated over and over to himself, wishing he could repeat it down the bond or verbally to you. But you knew, you could feel it in the way he held you close. 

Each male one by one bit into their mate's neck, every female glaring E down as the males regained their strength. 

Heeseung finished first, exhaling with pleasure as he licked the dripping blood from his mate's wounds before they closed up. His eyes are now burning holes into E. 

“Ha! What do you think drinking from your mates will do?” E snapped. 

Niki cracked his knuckles, “Gives me plenty of strength to beat your ass for locking us ten feet under the damned castle.” 

“It’s not just drinking from our mates,” Heeseung said, twirling his blades, “You really need to stop dismissing our magic users.” 

E narrows his eyes, slowly turning to look at the witch and elf, both females snapping their fingers, colorful auras surrounding each of the boys. 

“What did you girls do?” E snarled. 

The witch looks up at Sunghoon, ice crystals forming at his hands, “We gave them a power boost,” she said. 

The elf leaned against Sunoo, his index fingers twirling in a circle, and rocks from the ground started floating up and circling his fingers, “After our second in command’s mate showed off her new abilities, we decided to do research and dig deep into our mate’s auras and gave them a boost.” 

Jake snapped his fingers and fire flicked from the tip of his index finger, a chuckle leaving his lips, “Always knew I had a fire within me.” His dhampir mate rolled her eyes but kept herself pressed against him anyway, a massive smile on her face. 

Niki unfolded his hands, palming facing the sky as darkness floated out of it, his eyes locked on E. 

Jay flexed his hands, a smirk spreading on his lips. He was stronger. So much stronger. 

E fixed his eyes between Jungwon and Heeseung, then laughed, “Guess the two of you aren’t so special huh?” 

Heeseung smiled and placed his index and middle finger on his temple, “Jungwon?” 

Jungwon was immediately at his king’s side in a flash. It was so fast you didn’t even see him move. Vampires already have super speed, but now Jungwon topped that speed. Even E was in shock, his eyes widening now seeing Jungwon resting his arm on Heeseung’s shoulder. 

His eyes locked onto Heeseung, “I am assuming you can communicate with them now.” 

Keeping his fingers to his temple, he cocked his head to the side, glancing at his pack members one by one, “Let’s end him.” 

E wasn’t ready for the rush of all fourteen of you. Each of the male’s powers threw him off along with the leftover magic both the witch and elf had that they were sending his way. You, the dhampir, Archer, Niki’s mate, and the queen rushed him too, swinging your weapons left and right at him in turns with the boys. E was panicking, and it was going to be his downfall. 

E wasn’t expecting this. His whole plan was to tire them out and pick’em off one by one. He already knew Heeseung had guards in his corner. But he figured with the youngest ones not around they would falter and break. But that wasn’t the case. 

He couldn’t keep up with their blows. With the ice, fire, darkness, strength, speed, gravity, their weapons, magic, and Heeseung leading them telepathically. All he could do was smirk, he underestimated the king and his pack. 

Heeseung’s pack was already known to other packs on how powerful they were when it was just the seven of them. E knew the truth all along that it was because Heeseung was secretly the king. But now seeing how unified this pack was with their new powers and mates, they being a powerhouse still holds true. Even if Heeseung wasn’t king, these fourteen would still be the most powerful. 

And he was an idiot to think he could break them one by one. 

But he kept fighting anyway, praying for that small ounce of hope that he’d come out on top. That little confidence landed his hand on your neck, squeezing tightly and digging his nails into your skin. 

The world seemed to have slowed down for Jay, his heart rate racing at seeing E’s grip on you and the way he lifted you up in the air. 

“You’re the one Dorian almost killed,” E laughed with a tilt of his head, “Even with the scars gone I can still see them burning deep within.” 

You gripped your hands onto his wrist, clawing at his skin in hopes of breaking free. You were losing oxygen and fast, gasping for air while fighting against him. 

Jay’s jaw locked, feeling that string of fate connected to you loosening. 

“Jay,” Heeseung warned, “Don’t do anything stupid!” 

“He has my mate!” Jay snapped and without a second thought, he rushed forward. 

E laughed, moving quickly in time with Jay. 

The only thing that could be heard now was your screams as E’s sword split down Jay’s chest and exited his back. 

Blood dripped down his body and out his mouth, but Jay kept his eyes locked on E, “You’re the cause of my mate almost dying!” Jay screamed, using his strength to break the sword in half and swing his blade to completely cut E’s arm off. 

The pain of losing his limb forced his grip on you to drop, sending you back to the ground and hands reaching for your throat to regain air. 

One moment you were beside them, and the next you were away, Jungwon handing you over to the queen and rushing back, “Jay!!” you tried to scream, seeing your mate drop to one knee as he gripped the blade of the sword and pulled it out of his body. 

Jungwon grabbed E’s remaining arm and pulled it, breaking it out of his socket. E’s screams now fill the battlefield. 

Sunghoon slammed his fists to the ground, freezing E’s knees down to keep him from moving. Niki stood behind him, placing his hands to the side of his face and pressing the darkness against his senses, him losing sight. 

Heeseung rushed over, blade in hand, and shoved it into E’s chest, “This is for forcing my pack and me out of hiding,” he pulled the blade out and thrust it back in, “This is for when Dorian almost killed YN,” he repeated the actions, listing off each thing E has caused towards his pack. Each thing that led to the events of today. One by one getting his revenge in. 

Jay pulled himself to his feet, taking Heeseung’s other blade and pressing it to E’s neck, the sizzling of his skin being music to Jay’s ears, “This is for almost killing my brothers and putting my mate through the bullshit she had to go through.” 

E just smirked through the pain, “Haaaaa, what do you plan to do now that you’ve killed the entirety of the royal guard beside the small amount that follows you, false king?” 

Jay looked at Niki, signaling him to remove the darkness from E’s eyes, forcing him to look at him, “We will remain as the strongest pack, keeping Heeseung in power.” 

E laughed again, “That will only go so far.” 

Jay shrugged, pressing the blade deeper into his skin, “We will break the chain you all created.” 

E’s smirk fell and it was such a sight to see from Jay. And Jay’s face would be the last thing E will ever see. Using his strength, Jay sent the blade through, gripping the top of E’s head and ripping it from his body.

“Jake!” Heeseung commend. Jake throws a ball of flames at the body. The fourteen of you watching it burn to ashes. Jay took a final look at E’s head and then tossed it into the flames. 

It was over. 

It was all over. 

Jay fell back to his knees, head spinning from the blood loss from the wounds. You were at his side immediately, screaming for the witch and elf and Heeseung to do something quickly.

The three of them patched Jay up while the remaining of the royal guard killed off the rest of E’s army, leaving an abundance of vampire bodies on the castle grounds. 

You held Jay close, “You did it, Jongseong.” 

He cupped your face and gave you a weak smile, “It’s over.” 

“Not yet,” the king said, looking over the dead bodies, “We need to take care of this mess and fast.” 

Jake smirked, “Leave it to me.” 

The bodies were piled into the castle, Jake unleashing flames from both hands as he set the castle ablaze. Not leaving a single part untouched by his flames. 

The fourteen of you watched the castle burn. The males held onto their mates tightly. 

Heeseung, Jay, and Jake felt nothing as they watched the castle that completely ruined their lives burn into rumble. Nothing but terrible fucking memories lay there. They can all burn. Completely burn. 

Jay finally took his eyes off the burning castle and looked down at you, staring at the part of your neck Dorian once sunk his teeth into, draining you completely of life before tossing you over that cliff. In a way, Jay was thankful the world turned out the way it did because he got you out of it. He’d still watch the world burn for what it did to you. But he had you for forever, and for that he was happy. 

He pulled you closer to him, pressing his lips to your head. 

“What now?” the queen asked, folding her arms on top of Heeseung’s that were wrapped around her.

Heeseung looked at the burning castle, then up at the sky, seeing the beautiful orange that came through from the rising sun, “I have an idea.”

—perm tlist: @alvojake @ikeuverse @woniebae @shawnyle

@jwnghyuns @in-somnias-world @zyvlxqht @aaa-sia

@wonniethepoo @addictedtohobi @eneiyri @skzenhalove

@fakeuwus @cherry-park @vousty @ladyartemesia @criminalyun

@cmoundiamante @enhaverse713586 @wondipity @lhsvibez

@jaeyunq @rikizm @kaykay11sworld @pockettwinzz @vixialuvs

@seunghancore @enha-cafe @ppanghoon @sunpov @zeeloveshee

@hxxsxxng @moonrisearies @brownsugarbaybee @nshmrarki

@vveebee @teddybeartaetae @kookify @abysofsteel

@aileeeeeeeeeeeee @hee-lvrr @lilyuwon @1309zip

—taglist: @jwnghyuns @en-happiness @honeybunnee @jaklvbub

#jay bae #breakthechain #jay park #park jay #jongseong park #park jongseong #enhypen #jay x reader #reader x jay #enhypen x reader #reader x enhypen #enhypen fanfic #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #established relationship #vampire au #yeonzzzn writing

[ohsunnyboy]

living wine | song eunseok ˚₊‧⁺˖

song eunseok is good at maths, a vampire or an extreme lightweight. one of those is false, and it's not the one you think it is!

TAGS: college!au, vampire!eunseok, human!reader, gn!reader, vivid descriptions of blood, veins and feeding, kissing and caressing, gets suggestive by the end!!

A/N: eunseok has such vampire-esque visuals i couldn't help myself hehe self indulgent as per usual (idk why this turned out so long i just wanted to write some hot bloodsucking)

WORDS: ~2400

"How on earth did you get all of this wrong?" You stare at the question sheet and back at his laptop. The fang about, find out! sticker on it fraying and stained with takeout. "I thought communication studies was meant to be easy?"

"It's not wrong. There's no wrong in comm studies," he groans, still rolling about the floor of your dorm like a toddler. “I swore to Sungchan this would be the last time I change my major and he's going to tear me apart if I can't ace this."

"Oh boohoo, your mysterious campus vampire aura will be ruined. What will everyone do?" you intone, rolling your eyes.

Said mysterious vampire, Song Eunseok, buries his face into your plush cushions and groans some more. Imagine communications being the biggest of your worries in the world.

As a political science major, with a minor in vampire relations, it seemed natural when you stumbled into Eunseok's friend group at a You Can Fang event at the college. A vamp and human mixer to encourage integration due to well... reasons.

Because the thing is, vamps have only been about for 30 years.

Which is a lie. Or rather, a condensation of the fact that they've been generally acceptable for 30 years. It's only now do you find tick boxes for vampires on questionnaires, 24/7 blood banks and raw blood on the a la cartes to cater to the perpetually living.

Apart from that, it's been since the dawn of time they've been kicking about, seamlessly blending into society by acting like the rest of you. As evidenced by the one stretched out like flattened dough on your plush carpet. Eunseok physically exists at 18, has the vainness of a 15-year-old but has been kicking around for 22 whole years.

Which somehow doesn't qualify him from doing college level anything even half well.

"You still there?" Eunseok’s voice is muffled from where he's face down on the carpet, that or it's his fangs digging into his lip. He’s been limp and lethargic like this for far too long.

"Yeah, yeah just baffled at what you've written," you hum.

You shift the laptop from your lap to the floor next to you, choosing to study the moping princess. Eunseok’s brown hair is almost black in the dim of your room while also sticking up everywhere from running his hand through it constantly. Even his clothes look out of it, which is a feat for someone who always aims for college campus chic. Further, while it’s traditionally vampiric to be ghastly pale – Eunseok’s always had a tan from when he was bitten at 18 that just stuck around – his skin somehow looks even worse in the lamp light.

"What's wrong, Eunseok? You've been like this all week," you sigh.

Thump-thump. The clock ticks three times; it’s nearly midnight and the full moonlight peeks through the blinds. Thump— he shifts. “It’s nothing..." Curling further up into a ball. Like you believe that, he’s a professional whiner.

"Real convincing. How about you sit up and look me in the eyes when you say that,” you quip back. With some more prodding at his head with your foot, Eunseok sits up petulant.

You take your time to look at him properly now: Eunseok’s sunken eyes and dry mouth. It makes your own lips purse in concern. It’s a far cry to what your Eunseok usually looks like however it’s all signs of what you’ve been suspecting all this time. Idiot.

"I am completely fine,” he says it with the utmost uncertainty of any college student lying through their teeth about already having started a paper that is due the next day.

"Seok... you're paler than a sheet." When you say it, his face nearly brightens up. "That’s not a compliment!" And only then does he huff out a small laugh, eyes casting to the side.

“I’m fine, promise. Just…long night?” Eunseok mutters but it comes out like a question. You know he sleeps poor in general but that’s no excuse. You pay way too much attention to him, is what some voice says at the back of your mind, but never mind that.

Maybe it’s a reassurance when he snakes a hand around your ankle, but his cold embrace only reminds you of what he is. Maybe it’ll make whatever you plan to do just a bit easier. The question’s been dancing on the tip of your tongue since the start after all.

"...When's the last time you fed?" your eyes search for his as you ask, but he seems hellbent on avoiding your gaze.

"Why? are you offering?" Eunseok snorts and you can taste the sarcasm in his tone. He shakes his head again, before finally raising his gaze to yours apologetically. "...Look this week's been so bad. All the blood banks are low, my new TA is Satan incarnate and Sungchan chipped my tooth last time I tried feeding from him so I couldn't even feed properly then.” His finger’s drum across the skin of your ankle: pinching and smoothing.

"...and then everybody's also been busy with the new semester,” you conclude.

"Exactly.”

The silence consumes the room. You’d liken it to someone taking a fluffy blanket and smothering you in it. Dying in comfort and screaming in silence.

The sensation of Eunseok’s fingers on your skin is what grounds you. Pinch and soothe, thump-thump, pinch and smooth, thump-thump. Goosebumps have started to rise up your leg as you watch his movement. Thump-thump, pinch and smooth. You’ve grown used to his cold whenever you press against each other, even when he tries to stay away. Despite it, your heart races all the same.

Thump-thump, pinch and smooth.

The carpet bites when you crawl to him.

"Woah, woah hold on. You’re not doing what I think you’re doing.” Eunseok holds out his hand like that’s going to stop you. “You've never been fed on before,” he says it with such a painful sincerity that you think it’s meant to hurt, but right now, waiting in silence is hurting you more than he ever could.

"You need it, idiot. Besides, I trust you enough.”

"I've been a vamp for like 4 years! I don't trust me enough!"

"What happened to feeding from Sungchan a minute ago? You literally led the safe feeding talk at that You Can Fang thing last year!" You kneel back, saving yourself from your tone.  

Eunseok’s pinching and smoothing down the skin of his own hand. Nerves line him but you know he can hear your heart much better than you can your own. Thump-thump-thump—

"It was from his wrist, and it wasn’t term yet. I’ve – well, I’ve looked at yours, your veins are way too faint,” Eunseok mumbles. His beady eyes dipping towards your throat, while your own eyes track his tongue as he wets his lip. “You know I’d have to feed from your neck.” His voice trembles under the suggestion. Under this light, it should be impossible to tell if he’s blushing, but you swear he’s buzzing with heat.

You’re not stupid: you pay attention to your vampire education and etiquette classes. Enough people walked out of that feeding talk red faced and a little shifty eyed at anyone that had bite marks at the neck. The blush that sears across your face now probably mirrors theirs.

The thing is, you’ve made up your mind a long time ago.

“I’m offering, Eunseok. Don’t be more of an idiot than I think you already are.”

Thump-thump-thump—

Eunseok’s pupils swallow up the whites of his eyes, and in the next instant, you’re being lifted, straddling his thigh, his arms a crushing force wrapped around your back and cradling your head. Burying his face into the skin of your throat, he makes a high sigh of relief. Fire licks up across where you touch, eating you alive before he’s even sank a fang.

Even if he’s stone cold under your touch, the room feels like it’s been plunged into a broil, losing yourself in a steamy haze. He noses at your pulse, the tell-tale thump-thump-thump— of your own must be as loud as the fucking heavens crashing down on him. Amber and roses, the scent that’s haunted you everywhere since you got it for him, reminds you of all that he is.

(Yours.)

A breath, another, another, before Eunseok’s head tilts up from where you’ve locked your arms around him, and you come to stare at his impossibly dark eyes paired with his pearly peeking fangs. “…Are you sure?"

You close your eyes, seeking patience. “Take as much as you need, idiot.” And Eunseok exhales so hard his whole-body shakes. Your hand tightening itself at the mess of his hair. Come on, take it.

His eyes flutter, stupidly long eyelashes ticklish against your skin, his head ducks and you get a second before he presses his lips to your neck, drops his fangs and bites.

The pain is a pinch.

A sensation that will root itself into your guts and sear itself into your muscle memory. It crawls up your jaw and shatters across your head; it splits from your skull, and it streaks down your back; and then it sets aflame everything you thought was burning already. Distantly, he groans into your skin with the same neediness as before.

Where there is fire, his lips come to sooth. Eunseok lets out a soft, needful sound as he presses his lips over your skin – and maybe you do too. Every inch of you breaks into shivers. Thump-thump-thump-thump— an anthem backed by chorus. You can feel yourself losing grip in his hair, but Eunseok just pulls you impossibly closer into him, propped up in his arms as you give more onto him. Drinking you in and eating you whole.

“Thank you,” he starts mumbling into your skin, over and over. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Eunseok slurs it out like prayer. Blood drunk is the word you can find floating in the haze of your mind. You turn the thought of it over and over in your head with fascination. You have to bite back a whine.

Even without the blood, you could lose yourself to the feeling of his roaming hands. Always so close to edging under your sweatshirt but catching himself every time. His hands clench at your hips, taut in a way he’s never been before.   

"Please, Eunseok..." Amid your daze, you find the strength to nod, finding his hands and slipping them under and then up, and up. You reward him, pressing a kiss to his hair. He answers with a groan that shudders down your body. Tracing the line of your spine, ribs and collar. Leaving you gasping into your quiet dorm room. You’re half aware of your agape mouth, eyes rolling to the back of your head, every part of you singing as Eunseok takes.

Propped up in each other’s arms, you don't know which one of you has given more to the sensation. Far away, you think you could sit like this for hours. Wrapped up in everything Eunseok. Subject to a degree of sheer want that you’d never want him sharing with anyone. Yours, yours, yours. It’s the anthem of your heart when you’re pressed against each other in one hot line.

…It could be another age when you feel his fangs detract. 

All you hear is your heaving breaths against the tick of the clock. The hum of your blood has plastered itself to the walls of your mind, another fixture that you’ve somehow adjusted to. Just like the cold that meets your neck again, and again. A break in the ice after drowning for hours.

Eunseok laps at the puncture wounds at your neck with enthusiasm. His hands planted firmly on your hips, holding you in place. You want to squirm as he leaves a trail of kisses to chase after the blood that drips from the wounds. Savouring every drop of you.

You bring a hand up, to cradle his working jaw, marvelling at the flush on his skin, the utter mess of his hair, how he holds you so gently.

“You… you taste like living wine. You know that, right?” Eunseok croaks out, eyes closed, head down. Something in you is struck with awe, you’ve never seen him like this. “Taste so fucking good.” He punctuates it with a kiss at the base of your throat, searing with want, humming from satisfaction.

He continues to trail them up all the way to the corner of your mouth. Teasing at your lips with his red stained ones. “You’ve ruined this for me. Don’t want anyone else feeding from you,” he purrs.

Instead of sitting there limp, you capture his face and plant a quick kiss to his lips. “Don’t want you feeding from anyone else either.” You can taste your blood on your lips as you smile and look him dead in the eye. “You’re mine too.”

Thump-thump. Eyes wide open, he stares back at you with the same craze. Partnered with Eunseok’s own brand of a self-satisfied smirk that’s driven you insane since you met him – it's mix made for devastation.

“Feel better now?” you croak out.

“All thanks to you,” he hums.

Moonlight pierces into the room and you can see him clearer now. There’s some more colour to his skin, flush from exertion, with your blood a lip-stain. Even his dazed eyes are somehow more alert than before – in spite of being a notorious lightweight.

“Let me take care you.” Eunseok preens under your hands and moves.

You nearly go dizzy from the rush as Eunseok manhandles you. Lifting you from under the knees, plastering you to his front, legs bracketing his waist, before depositing you onto your bed. A laugh escapes you from the rush of Eunseok caging you in, while landing a glancing peck on your lips

“Oh?” And you quirk your brow. A cheeky grin on your face at his own amused look. "A round two?"

However, Eunseok just rolls his eyes and collapses beside you. “We both have class in the morning and it’s like 1am.” The cheeky bugger buries into your side and slings an obnoxious leg around your hip. “I’ll get you like a Gatorade in the morning for your electrolytes when we wake up, yah?”

To be honest with yourself, there’s not enough strength in you to protest or even roll your eyes back at him. Your heart’s too busy guiding you to sleep while a hand finds yours in the night.

Thump-thump… pinch and soothe.

(Needless to say, you had to wear a turtleneck to class tomorrow morning.)

pls lmk how this turned out bc this one was a learning experience for me! a like or reblog would be lovely if you enjoyed ty <3 ⭒ masterlist

#do not expect me #to write so fast next time #also now my longest fic lmao #kpop #kpop fanfic #fanfiction #riize #song eunseok #song eunseok x reader #song eunseok fluff #song eunseok drabble #song eunseok imagines #riize imagines #riize x reader #riize fics #vampire au #college au #eunseok fic

[halleyscomet14]

family isn’t always by blood

relationship: billie eilish x female reader

warnings: none! just fluff.

word count: 1413

summary: after 4 long years, you finally graduate, but you can’t seem to find your parents anywhere. no worries! you have a hero to the rescue…

as the letter of your name came close, you were escorted to the line where other grad students waited on getting their hard earned diploma. you could feel yourself shaking from your post. a shock spiraled around your body while you waited. you decided to take a peek into the crowd, expecting to see your group of friends all in matching caps like you, and your family (who even though you weren’t exactly on the greatest terms) which must be proud of you for your dear accomplishment. your face hit the light sunshine as your eyes browsed the crowd, looking for a familiar face. everyone could be seen, except your friends who were also probably escorted into a line like yours, and… where’s mom?

and where is dad? where are your siblings? this must be a joke, right? you desperately looked around into the mob, yet no sign of your own blood were seen. you mouth agape, you turned back to your place as people started moving in line. you could feel tears forming under your skin. how could they? this was the day you were dreaming about since childhood. the day you could toss your cap high into the sky’s, as you and your friends yelled into distant space in excitement. your family to be present in the moment wouldn’t be too bad.

you felt betrayed, they had labor in you graduating too. maybe they were just late, right? there’s no way they would miss their dear daughters special day. daddy wouldn’t do that, he used to hype you up with every upcoming exam. mommy couldn’t either, she was the reason you got into this school! it didn’t add up. there were only a couple of names left to receive their diploma, then you would be on that stage, holding your hard work in your bare hands. even though this meant so much, you couldn’t bear the thought of your parents not being there. it was devastating.

the person in front of you walked onto that very stage that you were going to be on in around roughly a minute. your chest tightened knowing this was THE moment. you clenched your fist as you heard it, “y/n y/l/n” clapping came from the crowd as you walked onto that stage with an half smile, almost fake knowing the reality that your parents didn’t even come to the event. “YEAH, THATS MY GIRL!” someone screamed from the crowd, so loud that everyone could hear it. your heart raced as you thought that maybe your family was there, you were just too blind to see. with one hand you reached for the diploma that was being handed to you, while your eyes flashed onto the mob.

there she was. you could tell apart those ocean blues from outer space. a giant smile grew on your face as you saw billie jumping up and down in her seat, clapping at you while yelling motivational words such as “go girl!” and “hell yes!”. next to her was a standing maggie, as she also clapped along with billie, carrying the biggest smile that could light up this earth. on her right was billie’s dad, also cheering on as the great dad he was. on the other side of billie was finneas and claudia, clapping in sync as they seem to talk about something.

the way her beautiful blue eyes had the power to reveal themself in such a large crowd made your heart melt as you watched her cheer you on. you teared up once more, but this time it wasn’t because of your family’s absence, it was because of your other family’s presence. you shook hands of your superiors before going off stage with your work of an art of diploma.

billie got off her seat and waited for you on the carpet which lead to the seating area where the rest of her family sat. when you saw her, you rushed down the stairs. you started running towards your girlfriend as the hem of your gown started to lift against the wind. you felt infinite. you ran as fast as legs could take, before jumping into billie’s dear arms, almost making her fall as you wrapped yourself around her. people around you kept on clapping for every other person that was on the stage. “oh, my precious girl…” she whispered into your ear. you clinged on to her neck as she pulled you as close as she could, hugging the life out of you.

“i did it, billie.” you said pulling away from her neck, looking into her hypnotizing eyes. “i fucking did it!” you yelled as you went in for another hug. you just couldn’t get enough of her. “fuck yeah you did!” she yelled back. you finally let go, but yet it didn’t last long before billie smashed her lips onto yours, snaking her hand around your waist. you reached your hands to her blossom cheeks as you deepened the kiss. she pulled away to face her family who gathered around you.

“oh, i’m so proud of you y/n” maggie said as she reached in for a hug. “i know you were working so hard.” she continues. maggie lets go of you smiling, but you weren’t left unattended for long before finneas comes in for a quick hug. he congratulated you on your achievement. the members of billie’s family circled around you, going in for a hug one by one.

everyone was talking in a group, mostly applauding you for your success as billie held you closer by your waist, which you responded by holding her hand. “hey, kid call your parents to come here. we haven’t met them, have we?” billie’s dad Patrick asked you. you had completely forgotten about that. the accompaniment of your second family was all you needed, apparently. you glanced around, checking one last time. no sign of them. “i uh- don’t think they’re here actually.” you said back at them. their smiles faded away with yours.

“what do you mean they’re not here? i mean- i- you’re graduating, y/n! they have to be!” billie says, anxious and confused. “billie.” finneas says signaling to stop her. “no but thats-“ billie starts before getting cut off. “it’s really fine, bils.” you say as you flash a smile at billie. “no need to mess up this amazing day.” you continue. you finger traces her hand a couple of times, as you leave a kiss on her cheek, still smiling. “she’s right. we can take care of that later. how about we get some celebratory ice cream?” maggie offers.

you look at billie to see that she gained her smile back. “that would be great. thank you.” you kindly accept the offer.

as a group, you start walking out of the large place. finneas, claudia and billie’s parents all walked in front of you and billie, in their own little world. you held billie’s hand as you chatted, “you were amazing” billie said, smirking at you proudly. you couldn’t help but smile back. “you killed it up on that stage, i’m so glad i didn’t miss it.” billie said. “like you had to see yourself! you looked so wild in that gown, and the smile on your face when you got that diploma? couldn’t trade it for the world.” billie said, praising you. “that smile was on my face because of you, love.” you said.

“oh shut up, c’mon don’t try to act nonchalant! i know you’re dying in excitement, you have to be!!” billie says happily. you stood for a minute in silence. “i did kill it, didn’t i?” you ask grinning. billie smiled back at you, her happiness fueled by your happiness. she went on to talk, showering you with compliments. and, wanna know the best part? billie made you forget all about you family. she meant way more than that diploma, you thought.

#billie eilish #spotify #billie eilish fluff #billie eilish smut #fanfic #happier than ever #don’t smile at me #hit me hard and soft #hte #when we all fall asleep where do we go #wwafawdwg #billie eilish x y/n #billie eilish x fem!reader #billie eilish x you #billie eilish x reader #billie #ellie eilish #eilish #dont smile at me #dsam #ilomilo #fluff #what was i made for #everything i wanted #tv #Spotify

[lvdr-haze]

CAUGHT INTO THE MOSHPIT

HI EVERYONE !!! Here’s my first fanfic ever !! This was a request lol. ANY REQUEST ALWAYS ACCEPTED :))

I have to precise English is not my first language so I’m sorry if this is badly wrote, let me know if there’s any fault !

word count : 1 248

content : m! X f! reader, reader is referred as a « you PoV » and « Y/N », Joost x Reader

TW : Anxiety ! Mention of a little bit of blood!

You never went to one of Joost’s concerts because you were a little anxious around people. But today was an important day; it was your boyfriend's first performance after his disqualification from Eurovision, so you had to be there to support him!

Joost was already backstage doing his sound check and everything while you were getting ready in the hotel room. You put on a really cute outfit, applied a little bit of makeup, and checked yourself in the mirror to see if you looked great—and you did! You grabbed your bag and your phone, then called a taxi to take you to the concert venue.

Once you arrived, you panicked a little at the sight of the crowd, but you were also really happy for Joost since all these people were here to see and support him and his work.

You made your way to the pit to find a place. It wasn’t in the first row, but you were still kinda close to the stage.

The concert was supposed to start in a few minutes, and the crowd around you was increasing and shouting, all excited for Joost to arrive. And that’s what happened.

Joost came on stage in one of his casual outfits: black baggy shorts, a white short-sleeved shirt, a black tie, and some black and white sneakers. He also had a black cap and, of course, his eternal white wired earphones. You looked at him with sparkling eyes; he was so handsome, and you felt so proud of him.

Even though you didn’t like the idea of being in a crowded place with turbulent people, you were still happy to be there to support and cheer on your boyfriend.

Thirty minutes after the show started, he began performing “Friesenjung” with his friend Ski Aggu, who was also there for the show. Everybody started screaming the lyrics while jumping. You were a little jostled and started to feel really anxious. For your own comfort, you tried to move and find a place where you could be quieter, but oh God, you never should have.

While you were trying to make your way through the crowd to the edge of the pit, you got caught in a moshpit. You couldn’t get away, and these people didn’t want to let you go. You started to find it hard to breathe, and then one man made you fall to the ground, scratching your knee as it began to bleed a little. But it wasn’t the fall that hurt you; it was the fact that no one helped you, the fact that these people kept jumping around you, the fact that no one helped, but mostly the fact that if you didn’t get away from there, you would definitely have an anxiety attack. As the tears began to fall from your eyes and you felt the pain pounding in your knee, you heard Aggu saying into the microphone:

“Oh my God, stop.”

Aggu went to Joost and showed him what was going on in the moshpit. Joost immediately recognized you and shouted into the microphone:

“Everyone, fucking stop right now! Someone is getting hurt! Stop moving and get her out of this fucking crowd!”

People stopped moving and were all now looking at you. You painfully got up, tears still falling from your eyes, and you left the crowd and then the stadium where the concert was.

You felt so guilty, thinking you had ruined the show for both the people and Joost. You told yourself, “He’s probably so upset because of me right now,” and as you were wiping your tears away with your hand, you heard a voice calling you.

“Oh my fucking God, Y/N, are you okay??”

It was Joost’s voice. You raised your head to look at him; he was walking towards you with a panicked look on his face.

Once he reached you, he hugged you tightly.

“I was so scared for you, schatje (darling).”

“I’m okay, don’t worry…I’m so sorry for ruining the show. I didn’t mean to, I…I just tried to—”

You didn’t even have time to finish your sentence before Joost kissed your lips softly with all the tenderness the world could offer.

“Y/N…you didn’t ruin anything, love. Your well-being is more important to me than anything in this world. If you’re okay, then I’m okay too.”

He smiled and kissed your forehead before looking down and seeing your bleeding knee.

“How about I take you backstage and take care of this?”

He asked. You nodded in agreement and followed him backstage. He made you sit on a chair and brought some water and a first aid kit. He gave you the water bottle, and you drank from it while he was taking care of your knee.

The audience was still waiting for Joost to come back, complaining about how the show had suddenly stopped, and Aggu came backstage to tell Joost.

“One moment, lieftje (sweetheart),” he said before softly kissing you and going back on stage.

“The show is over for today. My girlfriend got hurt. Thanks for coming,” he said coldly before leaving the stage. His fans' behavior was kind of upsetting him, but they couldn’t really understand what was going on, so he didn’t say anything more and went back backstage to finish bandaging your knee. Once he finished, he got up and kissed your forehead.

“How about we go back to the hotel, and I make you a hot bath so you can rest a bit?” he asked you. You smiled and nodded.

“That would be wonderful.”

You and Joost went back to the hotel and took a bath together, just softly cuddling and playing together, both of you not able to stop laughing.

Once the bath was finished, you both put on your pajamas and went to bed.

As your head was resting on his torso, Joost was checking some tweets on his phone, and, of course, people couldn’t stop tweeting about Joost announcing live that he had a girlfriend. But you were surprised at how kind and happy for him people were. That made both of you smile softly.

Maybe it wasn’t the best show, for you or for him, but at least it ended in a great way.

#joost klein #x reader #fem reader #reading #fanfic #joost x reader #joost fanart #fanfiction #stand with joost

[reidrum]

good night moon | s.r

A/N: hi again ! this one is deeply self indulgent i fear but who cares i hope you like it as much as i do <3 ps let me know what kinda fics i should write next !!

cw: spencer reid x bau!reader, cm type violence, reader is afab but this only is referred to when mentioning reader is a daughter, sad thoughts, hurt/comfort, talks about nightmares, spencer just wants to take care you gdm it why won’t you let him

wc: 2.4k

_______________________________________________

trudging up the stairs of the bullpen, you tried your best to use whatever sense you had left to beeline to the kitchen to make another cup of coffee. thank god the bau had minimal reflective surfaces because you’re sure you look like the evil old lady from snow white. that was just, your opinion of course. to everyone else you looked fine.

fine was so subjective. what did these fuckers know about being fine? they weren’t the ones on the mission. they don’t know what you saw, how you did nothing, how you couldn’t do anything.

“FBI hands up!” you yell holding your gun and flashlight at the unsub. he’s holding the victim at knifepoint, a twelve year old girl who reminded you too much of yourself.

this unsub’s MO was kidnapping eldest daughters of families that had sons as well, because he believed the son should be the eldest child with the most responsibility and that the daughters were only there to create more babies. the team had deduced that he was the youngest child to an older sister who he felt had too much control over him, combined with his fascination with the perfect nuclear family, it slowly turned him into a sociopathic killer.

“come any closer and i’ll slit her throat!” the unsub bellowed, getting dangerously close to her carotid artery.

“you don’t wanna do that, man,” derek says behind you, “just put the knife down and we can talk.”

“there’s nothing left to talk anymore! i’m already going to prison. there’s no point.”

you called out the unsub’s name, “i know how you’re feeling, i have a younger brother too and he feels the same way you do sometimes. what your sister did to you was not okay, but not all sisters are like that. we just want to care for our family. let them have the chance to be the big sister you wished for.”

the unsub seemed to contemplate your words for a minute, then looks up at you with eyes devoid of any light, “then this one is dedicated to you, agent.” and he drags the knife across her neck leaving waterfalls of blood coming out.

you’re not really sure what happened next. a gun went off, presumably derek’s, to kill the unsub. and then it was you screaming as you rushed to the young girl to try and stop her bleeding, but it was no use. the cut was deep enough to nick that damn carotid and all you could do was hold her in her last moments.

“te- tell my family i love them, and that i’m sorry.” the young girl spurts out so softly you almost didn’t hear it.

“no sweet girl, don’t be sorry,” you say through hiccuped cries, “i’m sorry i couldn’t save you.”

the last thing you remember was feeling strong hands carrying you out of the building. you couldn’t hear much, the sound of your wails pretty much masked anything in a five mile radius. you could taste the iron lingering in your mouth from biting your lip too hard and desperately collecting the salty tears and sweat trickling down your face. at first you smelled smoke and dust, most likely from being in the cave where the unsub was. but as you were being dragged away from the crime scene you were influxxed with a musky scent, and a hint of vanilla with that fresh laundry smell. spencer. the last thing you see are his worried little brown eyes staring down at you before everything goes dark.

that was monday. it is now thursday. the case had wrapped up, the unsub was dead the families were notified and now you all were in the office doing your paperwork for the case.

and all of you were doing fine, right? everyone else had already coped and processed the case, already stepping back into their normal life routines. but you, you couldn’t have it that easy, but god you wish you did.

since that day, you’d been holing up in your apartment with all the lights turned on. you sat in your living room, eating a bowl of fruit loops and watching bluey, because listen it’s a great show and we should acknowledge it. you cry out loud seeing bluey care for her little sister bingo, and it brings you back to that dusty cave and the bloodied hands.

you could feel sleep creeping up on you, yet you subconsciously found a way to push bedtime by doing menial tasks like cleaning, extra long skincare, watching a movie. when you ran out of things to do, you entered your room and just stared at your bed. how were you supposed to admit to yourself that the horror isn’t in the movie you just watched where the creepy demons kill everyone, but it’s what is waiting for you behind closed eyelids.

so the only logical solution was to just, not sleep. you whipped out every trick in the book to stay awake for as long as you could— energy drinks, coffee, splashing cold water, anything so you wouldn’t have to reface your plagued memories.

spencer observed you from a distance. he watched as you got coffee a whopping three times before 10am, you picking at your skin, not to mention the bags growing under your eyes. it was then he formed a hypothesis, he was a scientist after all. that you simply were not sleeping because of the case. it was much less a hypothesis and more of a fact because he knew exactly what it was upon first sight of you, hell he invented the sleep avoidance look.

and as the inventor it meant he knew the feeling more intimately than he would like to admit. spencer knew what it felt like to be debilitated by the confines of your brain, holding onto shreds of memories you know are not worth remembering but have somehow marked their territory anyway. and everyone coped differently, for spencer he isolated himself for days and then threw himself into work. for you? well, that was the next part of spencer’s experiment.

spencer approaches you in the kitchen as you’re pouring your fourth cup before noon, “hi.”

“hi.”

“how are you? feels like we haven’t talked in a bit.”

“i’m good, sorry i’ve just been. busy.”

spencer frowned internally, he knew you weren’t doing a single thing but working at the office. “are you okay? do you want to talk about last week?”

you cut him off abruptly and start walking out, “i really have to finish these reports spence, talk to you later.”

spencer knew better, he should give you space to cope by yourself. you were an adult, you can take care of yourself. but you shouldn’t have to, he thinks. spencer still tells himself he knows better as he’s waiting on your doorstep that night, about to the rapp the door.

after a minute of no answer he knocks again this time calling your name through the door, “will you let me in please? i want to show you something.”

still nothing. he continues, “i know what you’re feeling, and i want to help, please.”

he almost gives up and turns around when he hears the turn of a lock and slight creek of the door opening to see you in all your beautiful glory.

now you, you were definitely a sight for sore eyes. avengers pj shorts with a baggy uni t shirt, hair flying in any direction, and a look that spencer could only describe as grief. but god if you weren’t the most beautiful human he’d seen in his life, he’d be lying.

you were coming up on day 3? or was it 4? of no sleep. it’s not like you were not sleeping at all you took little 30 minute naps each day, enough to get you some shut eye but not enough to make it your rem stage of sleep.

spencer speaks again, “can i come in?” you nod silently and open the door wider for him to step in. he removes his shoes and it’s then you notice a big ole tote bag he’s lugging to your living room.

“what’s in the bag?”

“ah, come sit. i brought magical things.” he smiles playfully.

you shuffle over to sit a seat’s cushion away from him and watch as he starts pulling item by item from his mary poppins bag.

candles, essential oils, books, but specifically romance novels with the silly cartoon covers that he swears aren’t real books but you argue with him until he concedes, melatonin gummies, pillow sleep spray, and one more item that he’s holding onto for what seems to be dramatic effect. you’re not amused.

“and the piece de resistance,” he presents the last item, and you look confused for a second, until you recognize the item in front of you and immediately start tearing up. in his hands is a grogu weighted stuffed animal that he holds out for you to take. “i know you’re not sleeping. it happened to me when, you know. i figured it would be helpful if you had someone who could empathize how you’re feeling. and because you’re my best friend and i care about you.”

your bottom lip trembles, and you feel the ice block you’ve kept yourself in this past week start to melt uncontrollably. “spence…” you breathe out so quietly. he did all this? for you? doctor spencer reid went out to the store, and bought a grogu stuffed animal for you to cuddle at night to ease your loneliness?

the concept of being taken care of was so foreign to you, as the eldest daughter in your family it was always you taking care of others and making sure everyone was okay. but rarely did anyone check on you, how you were holding up. and you had learned to cope by yourself, to handle the big emotions by yourself, but for once, someone was willing to take all that weight off your shoulders and let you breathe. and god, did it feel so cathartic you could burst out in sobs.

so you did.

“hey,” he says scooting closer to you so he can scoop you into his chest, “was that a lot? penelope said i’d probably overwhelm you but all of the things i brought are scientifically proven sleep additives-“

“no i just, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” you whimper.

spencer’s eyes soften, “you deserve it. what happened last week… was hard. i just wanted to help.”

“thank you,” he hears a muffled response and rubs his hands affectionately down your back, “damn, all this crying is making me so tired.”

“see! the magic of the poppins bag.” he chuckles. you laugh too. spencer thinks all the flowers in a mile radius just bloomed.

“it’s just,” you start out, nuzzling into his chest deeper, “the second i close my eyes and dream, i see her. and how i couldn’t save her. and how the others i couldn’t save either.” you feel your chest seizing up again.

“okay well hey, hey. you did what you were trained to do. any other agent in your position would’ve tried talking him down the way you did. and your personal story gave you an advantage that no one else would’ve had. statistically speaking, you were the best chance at getting through to him. yeah it didn’t work, but it wouldn’t be probability if it always worked,” he cradles your face in his big hands, “we’re all so proud of you, you know. rossi’s waiting for you to be back on your feet so he can host pasta night at his hou- sorry his mansion again.”

spencer looks down at you properly to your tear stained cheeks and brushes your hair back. he sees the pain and tiredness fighting behind your eyes and asks softly, “what do you need right now?”

“i’m tired.” you lament.

“then lets go sleep.”

“i can’t.”

“why not?”

“im scared.”

“well that’s why i brought the stuff silly goose,” he taps your nose, “come on, let’s go set it up.”

spencer brings all the sleep aids to your room and sets them up appropriately, even plugging in your sunrise lamp to help with the ambient lighting. the only thing left to do is for you to get into your bed.

you both stand on opposite sides of your bed, and he’s waiting for you to get in so can tuck you in. you hesitate and look up at him with the same worried eyes he saw all those days ago.

“could you stay for bit?”

“i can stay for some time if you want” you both speak at the same time. you giggle again, spencer thinks an angel got its wings.

thank god he wore sweats and a comfy t shirt he thinks. he slid in under the blanket and holds it open for you to come in, “come on, you’re missing the cuddle party with grogu and i!” you beam widely and finally sink into your bed.

spencer pulls you into his chest, wrapping an arm around your shoulder blade, and the other taking a spot on your hip rubbing soft circles. you lay your head to rest on his chest, right above his beating heart. you try to let the metronomic thumps lull you to sleep, but spencer can still feel your eyelashes fluttering about on his chest. he knows what you’re thinking, because of course he does.

“look at me,” he nudges you, you look up at his eyes again and see nothing but pure love and reassurance as he continues, “you are safe. nothing can hurt you. i promise.”

“are you sure?” you let out meekly,

“i’m sure. it’s okay, go to sleep,” he presses a gentle kiss to the crown of your forehead. “i’ll be here when you wake up.”

you shakily take a deep breath, and close your eyes.

after five minutes of spencer rubbing shapes into your back, he can finally hear the soft snores coming from below. he places another kiss on your head, whispers, “good night angel girl,” and doses off.

you wake up the next morning feeling so rested and relieved you can’t help but give spencer a big hug that wakes him up. spencer thinks he’d be the luckiest man in the universe if he could wake up like this everyday.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid hurt/comfort #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic

[w2soneshots]

Baby daddy -W2S

Words: 0.9k+

Warnings: angst, unplanned pregnancy.

Summary: after a one night stand you find yourself pregnant with Harry’s baby, you go to Faith for advice then tell Harry. But how does he react?

a/n: hello my loves😚. Here’s the request! I love this idea and I hope you all enjoy🧸🫶🏼

"No. There's no way. I'm gonna do another one." My brain rambled as I stared at the pregnancy test. I reached for the small box. It's empty. Within thirty minutes I had used the entire box, all positive. "This can't be happening. I can't be pregnant." I thought, in complete denial. I didn't know what to do with myself. It's not just any normal night I can't just eat dinner and go to sleep. I just found out that I'm pregnant with my friend's baby. I barely slept that night.

A week later I was still trying to process the news. I knew exactly when it had happened. One night (around five weeks ago) I went out with everyone for Freya's birthday. We all got really drunk and I had been touch deprived for so long that somehow I ended up waking up in Harry's apartment, next to him in his bed. Thankfully he was still asleep when I woke so I grabbed my things and bolted. We had completely ignored the fact that we had sex and since no one knew it wasn't really a problem. Until now.

I decided that I needed to talk to someone. I couldn't keep this bottled up for another second or I felt as though I might explode. Faith is who I choose to tell. I know I can trust her and she's my only friend who's actually a mum. "Hey. Are you free anytime today? x" I asked via text. She replied quickly. "Ethan's filming so I'm here with Olive all day. Do you wanna come here? xx" I let out a sigh of relief. "That would be great! I'll see you in 30 xx" "Come through the glass door. It'll be unlocked xx"

I quickly got ready into a sweat set, brushed my hair into a ponytail then grabbed my phone and left. I drove to Faith's house and in just twenty minutes was waiting for her to open the gate. Once I'd parked I hoped from the car. I walked round the house to the glass doors. Then slid it open. I heard Rolo barking then Faith came shuffling into the lounge. "Hi! How've you been?" She pulled me into a quick hug. "Uhm, pretty good." I replied. She furrowed her brows. "What's up?" Uncontrollable tears welled in my eyes. "Oh my god. Come sit." She led me over to the couch.

"Ok start from the beginning." She said once I had calmed down. I took a deep breath. "So you know when we went out for Freya's birthday?" "Mhm." She nodded. "Well I- um- I ended up at Harry's apartment." Her brows furrowed. "I barely remember it but I know we- you know-" "you had sex with Harry?!" She exclaimed.

"Wow. Have you talked about it since?" She asked. "No but I didn't come round to tell you about that." Her face contorted into confusion. "Oh, what did you want to talk about?" She softened. My eyes fluttered closed. "I'm pregnant." I whispered. She went silent. "Congratulations?" She wasn't sure what to say. "Thanks. I uh- I don't really know how to feel." "And it's Harry's?" I nodded. "Well you know I'm here if you need absolutely anything." I smiled lightly at her. "I know." She pulled me into a warm hug.

After I talked to Faith I decided it was time to tell Harry. He deserves to know. But I booked a doctor's appointment first, to one hundred percent confirm that I'm pregnant. I hadn't really had any symptoms other than the fact I had missed my period, which is why I took the test. After a quick blood test the nurse confirmed it. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I had been in complete denial the entire time and this made it real, I'm going to be a mother.

It was almost two weeks after I had found out when me and Harry eventually saw each other. I sent him a text and he had agreed to come round to my apartment. I hadn't told him much just that I needed to talk. When he arrived my heartbeat sped up and my palms began to sweat. I opened the door after taking a deep breath. I smiled lightly at him. "Hi. Come in." I stepped aside. He awkwardly walked in. We sat on my couch.

In seconds I blurted out "I'm pregnant." His mouth dropped open and the room fell silent. "You- what?" He stuttered. "I'm pregnant Harry." I repeated. He swallowed. "And it's mine?" I nodded. "Uh- I- wow." I didn't know what to do, he wasn't talking this very well. "Listen, I don't expect anything from you. I just thought you should know." I spoke softly. "I just- I-" suddenly he jumped from the sofa and bolted out of my apartment. I burst into tears. I really thought- well I wasn't sure what I thought.

I told Faith about the incident and she attempted to comfort me. "He just needs to process it. Like you did. He'll come around. Give him time." She had said. That calmed me and almost a week went by with nothing until I got a knock on my door. I pushed myself from the sofa, that I'd been sat on all day since I wasn't feeling the best. I froze when I saw Harry standing outside my door. He didn't give me time to say a word. "y/n please forgive me. I'm so sorry. I don't know why I reacted like that. I want to do this with you. I want to be a dad." He said quickly. A smile spread across my face. Then I stepped forward pulling his nervous frame into a soft hug.

Years later me and Harry sat in our beautiful house watching our two young kids playing together. Reminiscing about what brought us to this moment. Happy, content and in love.

#w2s #harry lewis #harry w2s #wrotoshaw #wroetoshaw #w2s x reader #w2s fic #w2s imagine #wroetoshaw x reader #wroetoshaw oneshot #harry lewis x reader #harry x reader #youtuber x reader #sidemen x reader #british youtubers #fanfic #image #oneshot #x fem!reader #x female reader #x y/n #x you #x reader #unplanned pregnancy #pregnancy #dad!harry #angst #angst with a happy ending

[okamionice]

We call everything on the ice love.

This cosplay is my love letter to Yuri!!! On Ice. 💜⛸️❄️

I am a newer YOI fan (December 2023), but wow I fell so deeply in love with these 12 episodes. I relate to Yuuri so much as a character, and I'm happy there is an art form, some way I am able to pay tribute to the show. Getting to know these characters helped me get to know myself better.

There were literal blood, sweat, and tears that went into finishing this Eros costume for Fanime 2024. It is by no means in its final iteration, and I can't wait to see what else I can do to perfect and improve it.

It was so wonderful to see everyone's reactions at the convention, the genuine joy and elation to see YOI cosplayers in 2024, the commiserating about the movie cancellation. 🥹

I'm so grateful I was able to cosplay with this group of wonderful friends to pay homage to a show we all love so dearly, and I can't wait to do it again.

Yuuri Katsuki - okidokiokami Victor Nikiforov - koreydoescosplay Christophe Giacometti - dariengostas Yuri Plisetsky - jo (link coming soon)

#yoi #yuri on ice #yuri!!! on ice #ユーリ!!! on ice #yuuri katsuki #victor nikiforov #victuuri #yuri on ice cosplay #yoi cosplay #yuri!!! on ice cosplay #christophe giacometti #yuri plisetsky #yuuri cosplay #yuuri katsuki cosplay #yuri katsuki cosplay #fanime 2024 #me

[stevesjockstrap]

I Hear the Morning Calling

For Monsterfucker May better late than never

Heavily inspired by @safk-art demo!Steve art 😍

Steve/Eddie | read on ao3 | rated E | post-Vecna, demogorgon Steve, monsterfucking, blood and gore

“We’re losing. She’s not able to do it. We have to do something,” Nancy hissed next to him. Vecna had been shaking violently from his viney suspension but now he was eerily still. El’s plan seemed to be falling apart at the seams.

Steve looked around for anything he could do to save his friends. They’d already used all of the Molotov cocktails and Nancy’s shotgun shells.

Vecna’s eyes popped open and stared directly at him for a long heart stopping second before they widened and closed off again. They were running out of time.

He looked desperately around at Robin who was clutching at her bag. He would never let anything happen to them. Then he heard Dustin screaming over the walkie. Everything was going to shit.

A burning hatred ran through him, sizzling through the exhaustion and lightheadedness he’d been pushing down since being attacked by the demobats. Before he realized he’d moved, he was sprinting towards the hideous hanging figure with a roar. Ignoring the girls’ cries from behind him, he leaped higher than he’d ever done during a basketball game, catching a vine in his hand before his open mouth closed over Henry Creel’s throat.

The hot thick blood shot down his throat, gagging and choking him but he held on. Taking multiple swallows of the bitter sludge automatically, he forced his jaw harder into the spasming muscle. Spindly fingers scratched across his back and legs, trying ineffectually to tear him off. The spurting of blood into his mouth slowed and he allowed himself to suck in a breath, yanking the vine in his hand.

Coming back to himself on the floor, he didn’t think he had been out very long. He could hear Dustin again on the walkie, Robin trying to get him to slow down to try to understand his loud rapid cries.

“They! Are! Coming!” Dustin’s staticky voice echoed through the empty room.

“Who?” Steve rasped. But then he felt it. In the back of his mind, a scurrying almost slippery feeling that was getting stronger. “The bats. They’re coming for us.”

“What? Steve, what the hell is going on?” Nancy’s no nonsense tone made him try to rethink what he had said.

“I don’t know. But we gotta get out of here.”

Scrambling to sit, he was pushed back down to the ground by Nancy and then Robin.

“Settle down. If the bats are really coming, we’re better off inside.” Robin made sense, but something was telling him they needed out of this house. Out of this room.

He looked around, and saw Vecna’s body. It was essentially ripped to shreds, his head barely connected to his neck and several bones poking out in cruel angles.

“Um, yeah, there’s that question, too. But I think I’m just going to erase that from my memory,” Robin winced.

Getting out of the upside down after that was a blur. The bats circled them, screaming wildly and zooming over their heads as they ran towards the trailer park, but none of them touched the group.

Eddie was a mess. Nearly grey, almost as torn to shreds as Vecna. But Steve was able to feel a very slow pulse, so he quickly slung him over his shoulder and they somehow got everyone hoisted into the correct dimension.

“Are we going to talk about it?”

Steve’s head popped up from where it had slumped into his chest. He’d not left Eddie’s bedside once he’d been released from his own hospital bed more than a week ago. Nancy was propped against the doorway with a wry grin.

“Talk about what?” But Steve couldn’t meet her eyes.

Nancy hummed and pulled a chair over next to him.

“You can’t hide it from me, Steve. I’ve been on the receiving end of your overbearing self.”

Steve groaned, looking immediately at Eddie’s face. But just like every other day he’d spent looking at him, his eyes remained closed.

“I’m not sure I have words. Even to myself. Yet. But you’ll be one of the first ones to know, I promise,” he huffed.

“After Robin,” Nancy nodded.

Steve laughed. “Yeah, I mean, probably. And, uh, hopefully someone else is ahead of both of you in line.” He rubbed at his face, then raked a hand through his disgusting hair with a grimace.

“Go home, Steve. I’ll stay. I know your number. You need to take care of yourself before you can take care of the rest of us.”

After he showered, he flopped across his bed in just his towel and was asleep before he had another thought.

He stood above Eddie, the taste of blood in his mouth again. The bitter thick sludge that had come from Vecna. When he’d killed Vecna.

Eddie was wailing below him, fighting against him. He leaned down, catching his flailing hands with his own and felt his face split into sections, opening impossibly wide as he bit hard into Eddie’s neck.

He woke up sweating in his bed, tangled in his sheets. He ran to the bathroom to look in the mirror, feeling over his perfectly human face.

“What the fuck,” he breathed.

A quick call to the hospital confirmed that Eddie was fine. He chugged a glass of water, pacing unseeingly around his kitchen, still rubbing across his face.

For the next week, he would get these quick bursts of pain in his head, and pressure like a migraine but none of his normal tricks helped. He didn’t have a fever, actually his temperature seemed to be going down.

Finally he just pulled the curtains in his room, covered his head with a pillow because still the dimmed light felt like ice picks and went to sleep.

The shrill constant noise woke him, and at first he couldn’t place it at all, pressing his pillow over his ears more forcefully, sitting up with a curse as it echoed through his house.

“What??” He groused out into the phone.

Thankfully not reacting at all to his grumpiness, Dustin cried out, “Steve! It’s Eddie. He woke up!”

The nurses were insistent they go into Eddie’s room in small groups, shaking their heads and rolling their eyes at the huge congregation of people who were adamant about seeing their friend.

Steve, Robin and Nancy stood surrounding his tiny frame in the hospital bed, somehow this sleep looking more peaceful than the last. Steve shifted on his feet, trying to ignore the pounding in his head and the nauseousness from the hospital smell.

“Eddie?” Nancy whispered, unable to help it.

Their friend twitched, his eyes flicking open quickly before closing again. “Why’s it so bright?”

Steve chuckled, thinking the exact same thing, and went to turn the lights off in the room.

“Thanks,” Eddie grumbled. The lack of use showed in his voice. Robin held out a cup with a straw and helped him take a few deep gulps. “Fuck, can you give me the Reader’s Digest version? Did I get hit by a train? A UFO? Did I eat the mystery meat in the cafeteria?”

They all snickered, Nancy sobering first. “You don’t remember at all? What’s the last thing you can think of?”

Eddie frowned, looking down. After a few moments of thinking hard, he looked up, shocked. “Chrissy, oh god. Chrissy is… and then Patrick in the lake. Fucking hell. Okay, I’m getting pieces now. The bats- is Dustin?”

Steve interjected quickly, unable to take the look on his face, “Dustin’s fine. You saved him.”

Eddie nodded, pulling in deep breaths. Steve reached out, taking his hand and breathed his own small breath of relief when Eddie held onto it.

“Everyone else?” Eddie grimaced.

“Banged up, stitched up, but alive and well. Well, uh, except for Jason.”

“No loss there,” Robin and Eddie said at the same time, grinning sardonically at each other afterwards.

The nurse came in the room and explained the teens were not waiting very patiently in the waiting room, and they agreed to swap out.

“Going straight to hand holding, huh? King Steve and his kindergarten moves,” Robin elbowed him.

Even more weeks later, Eddie was finally released from the hospital and Steve helped him up the steps to their new and improved government issued trailer. They’d offered them a house but both Eddie and Wayne had quickly declined. They were used to the trailer and the trailer park, but they could use another bedroom.

“Home sweet trailer,” Eddie laughed as he bounced on his new bed. Steve winced, worrying about his stitches still. “Don’t give me that look, mother hen. I’m fine.”

Steve sighed and waved him off, plopping his meager bag of stuff down on top of the dresser.

“Hungry?”

Eddie grinned at him. “Always.”

“Come in Eddie, helloooo? EDDIE COME IN, over.” Dustin’s loud voice echoed around his nearly empty room. Groaning, he sat on the edge of his bed for a second while the stars cleared from his vision.

“I’m here, Dustin,” he sighed.

“You’re supposed to say over. Over.”

Rolling his eyes, he laid back down with the walkie. “I’m over this conversation, Dustin. What was the voluminous emergency?”

“OH! Have you seen Steve? No one’s been able to get a hold of him for more than a week, and we just got to his house and it’s… weird. Even for us. Over.”

Eddie frowned. He actually hadn’t seen Steve in a while, which was not like him. After Eddie had been discharged from the hospital, Steve seemed to take over his watch, volunteering to get him back and forth to all of his appointments and therapies. Standing now, nerves quickening and his stomach tightening, he looked down at the walkie.

“Weird how? Over.” Ah shit, the kid had gotten to him.

“He’s built like a creepy nest, with leaves and sticks, but, uh-“

The silence hung heavy in the dark of his room, and Eddie shivered. He pulled back his curtains to peer out the window, suddenly feeling like he was being watched.

“Spit it out, Dustin,” he grumbled.

“Alright, but you asked. There’s a lot of your stuff in the mess… like a few of your shirts a-and the vest you gave him? It’s like he’s been sleeping with them. Over.”

As his eyebrows shot up at this news, something moved in the shadows outside the window. There was a flash of reflective eyes, too far off the ground to be the stray cat that he fed. Human’s eyes don’t reflect.

“O-okay Dustin, thanks for the nightmare fuel. Get home, it’s already almost dark. I’ll let you know if I hear from him. Over and out.”

He nearly dropped the walkie when the shadow moved again, closer to his window and he got a flash of jeans and brown hair. Thinking quickly but somehow not at all, he shoved the walkie into his back pocket and rushed out the front door.

Not allowing himself to call out to him, clearly he didn’t want to be found if he hadn’t spoken to anyone in a week, he tried to sneak as quietly as possible around the side of the trailer.

A noise a few feet away had him pausing, opening his eyes wider to try to see in the darkness towards the woods. It was eerily quiet, usually the trailer park was full of noise, even at night, car doors and people laughing and chatting, dogs and birds going on and on. All Eddie could hear now was his own heart beating in his ears.

His eyes jumped to follow the next quick movement, just inside the edge of the woods. Another flash of that perfect hair. Like Steve was beckoning him to follow. And Eddie was dumb enough to be lead.

Inside the tree line, Eddie couldn’t see much. But he could follow the small noises and what was surely intentionally snapped twigs under Steve’s feet.

Panting, he stopped to lean against a tree, “Fuck, where are we going, man?” He was getting irritated. Steve would know that he’d graduated from PT but he still couldn’t be walking miles through the woods.

There was a small huff that sounded close, almost sarcastic. Very like Steve. Then a cold hand was pushing his hair away from his face, resting on his sweaty forehead.

A stream of moonlight or a stray streetlight fell across the face in front of him, and he almost screamed. Steve’s eyes piercing into his own and that attractive mess of hair on his head compensated well for the rest of it, the petaled mouth and rows of teeth that appeared as he was apparently breathing in Eddie’s scent.

“Steve? Wh-what happened?” Eddie was proud of himself for not bolting away, seeming frozen to the spot at Steve continued breathing him in, the clawed hands running through his hair and grasping his hip.

One shoulder was raised and lowered, like the world’s most apathetic shrug. As if his newly transformed self wasn’t even worth discussing. But the way Steve was looking at him and touching him was sending warm buzzing down his spine, tightening his belly. And his own jeans.

Steve seemed to figure this out quickly as well. Could he smell it? Eddie groaned and then gasped when his giant wet mouth descended onto his neck, grazing those dangerously wicked teeth down his skin.

“Oh fuck,” he breathed. “Why is that so hot? I should be like running for my life. Ah!” His hips bucked forward as sharp claws ran down his chest, instantly shredding his already hole filled shirt. He could only pant and throw his head back against the tree as the assault continued down his front, then as he felt the cold hands approach his jeans he gasped out, “Hey, okay, let me do that, huh? My favorite jeans, you know.”

The salacious look he received in response could only be from one Steve Harrington. He almost laughed but instead moaned as the gaze went down to follow his hands, the shaking hands fighting against the button and zipper of his jeans. Maybe he should have let him rip them to shreds.

An inhuman growl left Steve when the jeans and his plaid boxers were kicked off his bare feet. Unable to help himself, Eddie wrapped a hand around his dripping cock as he watched the terrifying mouth open, saliva running off the petals and rows of teeth.

“God I am a freak, after all,” Eddie chuckled. “I’d apparently feed my dick to a wood chipper if it was attached to Steve Harrington.”

A vaguely appreciative noise rumbled out of the mouth in question, and Eddie couldn’t believe this was real as the monster in front of him lowered slowly to his knees, looking up under his still gorgeous eyelashes to peer at his hard length.

“If you kill me, can you make sure no one finds my body? I don’t want Uncle Wayne thinking I got myself into even weirder shit than usual.”

His train of thought quickly evaporated as a rough tongue came to slide up the underside of his cock. Trying his best to hold completely still, wary of all the teeth, he just watched as Steve wriggled closer.

“Don’t judge me if I come or pass out instantly please. I, um, I’m not the most experienced. And this is, well, this is a whole lot to take in.” He knew he was rambling, filling the uncomfortable silence between them and the woods.

The eyes staring up at him seemed unbearably patient and forgiving, however.

“How much of you is in there,” he wondered aloud.

Steve blinked at him and what could’ve been a smirk passed over his features before his cock was enveloped by the petaled mouth. His own mouth flew open, ready to scream at the pain he expected. But he only gasped as he realized the teeth were only just grazing him, creating an almost pleasant scratching tingly feeling, and the tongue was able to keep sliding under and around the head.

“Oh my god, Steve,” Eddie panted, unaware as his hands slid into the feathery locks. “Oh, oh sorry!” Yanking them away, he received the first actually scary noise and look.

The mouth left him and an indignant huff resounded from it. “Want it,” Steve growled.

Eddie nodded quickly, holding back the laugh at the petulant frown and statement. “You got it, Stevie. Just please keep going.”

With another small grumble, Steve waited for the shaking hands to return back to his hair before he allowed his mouth to wrap around his cock again.

He was glad the tree was there to hold him up, since it seemed Steve was going to give everything he had to this supernatural blowjob. Eddie didn’t direct him with his hands so much as just hold on for dear life, while moaning and gasping along.

“Please, gunna-“ Eddie almost screamed as the mouth was instantly pulled back.

“Not yet,” Steve rasped. “Turn around.”

Clawed hands assisted him pivoting to push his forearms against the rough tree, widening his stance to allow the wicked mouth behind him to — “Holy mother of Zeus!”

The rough tongue circled his hole as a wet hand wrapped around his cock, the other pulling at his thigh to encourage him to rut back and forth. He whimpered, unable to collect enough brain cells to form a sentence now.

“P- oh, please. Steve!” Everything stopped and a soft questioning noise came from behind him. “Can I come on your cock instead? Or, uh, next time? Sorry, didn’t mean to, uh-“

What could only be described as a giggle left the terrifying mouth behind him, and Eddie’s hand was pulled from the tree and licked.

“Yours.”

The hand was then pulled back towards his own hole and he tried to nod his understanding. He did not want the claws inside of him either, thank you.

“Jesus Criminy,” Eddie whispered as Steve used his own fingers to push into him, licking around the digits to encourage him to open up. The feeling of the rough clawed hands around his wrist as he fucked his own hand into himself was almost too much. Finally when he thought his brain was going to leak out of his ears, his hand was pulled back and released.

Then a blunt object was pushing against him and he saw stars. “Slow, oh my god, a little slower, baby.”

The name didn’t seem to phase him at all, but he got a soft noise and the cold hands held onto his hips as he pressed forward.

“Want it hard, but just- ah, once it’s in. God you’re big. Is that, like, a monster thing? Or just you?”

The cocky laugh he received didn’t exactly answer the question, but then he was pressing further in and he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

He wrapped his own sweaty hand around his leaking cock, whining and crying out as Steve fucked him hard yet holding him so gently with his clawed hands. As he got closer to coming, he leaned his head back onto Steve’s shoulder. He came spectacularly just as he bit into his neck.

When he could breathe and see again, jumping into his jeans, he found the walkie still shoved into his pocket. With a simpering look at demo!Steve sitting naked against their well-used tree, he pushed down the button.

“Hey, uh, Henderson. I f-found Steve. But, well, he’s a lot different now. Over.”

Title from Waiting in the Garden - Noon Shift

#stmonstermay #demo!steve #demogorgon Steve Harrington #steddie #stranger things smut #mine #monsterfucking #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things fic

[ananxiousgenz]

alright the more I'm thinking about it the more I am completely bowled over by oscar's sheer level of devotion to arthur. this is insane. this man is insane.

you are a priest working at a small parish in new york city. one of your parishioners has been having trouble with some kind of entity and you have been doing your best to help her. a man who calls himself parker and is claiming to be a private investigator breaks into your office. he threatens to go to the police with what he knows. he says you have a drinking problem. he is aggressive, loud, rude, and intimidating. you give him information. he gives you a number to call him at and leaves.

the next time you hear from him is over the phone. he yells for someone to get down and then there are gunshots and someone singing loudly. you do the sensible thing and call the police. they find a man who was severely wounded but alive and take him to the hospital.

the next time you see this private investigator is in a hospital hallway. he looks like shit. his shoulder is crusted over with blood, his hair matted with sweat, eyes wild with panic, and raw and bloody rope marks on his wrists. you tell him where his father is and that you were the one who called the police. he tears up and says you saved his father.

and then he hugs you.

its the hug that changes everything.

you tell him that you believe he's trying to do good in the world and that you want to help as much as you can. he asks you to sit with his father, tells you that someone is after both himself and his father, and doesn't want you to let him out of your sight. and you don't. you don't move when a prolific serial killer presses a knife to the father's throat. you don't run when this so called "parker" and the man he called "the butcher" begin hurling insults at each other. you don't scream or flinch when the butcher asks "parker" to confess to his murders, his sins, right there in front of the whole hospital ward. the only time you do move is when the police officer tackles the butcher, and only then to crack the butcher over the head with a bed pan and save everyone.

all because a rude private investigator with a fake name gave you a hug. fascinating. how absolutely fascinating.

#summary of this post: OSCAR IS DOWN BAD #HES DOWN SO SO BAD FOR ARTHUR #he wants him carnally and he's not even trying to hide it anymore #oscar malevolent #malevolent #malevolent pod #an eldritch being and his wet cat

[glassartpeasants]

Law angst writing warm up that i have decided to share with the class

F!Reader

Wanrings: Angst, death, blood, reader has Amber Lead disease, Law backstory spoilers, not edited

~~~

"Why is everyone avoiding the one girl? Is she sick or something?"

"Don't go near her! She's contagious!"

Once again, here you were, treated like some sort of disease. New town, same reaction. No matter how hard you try to convince people that you weren't contagious, no one ever listens. Even if theirs books about it all, it's like all they see is a walking sickness. You supposed you did look that way. Patches of white covering your body along with burns that covered your already marked body. What happened that day that caused all your grief replayed in your mind like a broken record.

"(Y/N)! (Y/N)! Wake up!" The smell of smoke invades your lungs as your eyes flutter open. The scene of your frantic mother shaking you awake was the first thing you saw.

"Mom! Wh-"

"Mom? What's...what's going on?" You were ripped from your bed as your mother held you in her arms, something she hadn't done in years.

"Shush! Baby, we need to be quiet." Your mother's hushed whisper sent shivers down your spine. Never in your life have you heard your mother sound like that. And when you looked into her eyes, all you saw was fear.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Your mother hid your head in her shoulder as she rushed down the stairs. The only thing you managed to see of your childhood home was the bright light of flames. Its heat burned your lungs as you let out a cough.

Opening the door, your mother ran out of the house quickly. A dry cough slipped from her lips as you held onto her tight.

"Mom, I'm scared..." You whisper into her ear as your body begins to shake.

"It's okay, baby. Everything will be okay." Petting your hair, your mom held onto you tighter.

Looking up, all you saw was a black smoky sky. Your eyes dart from place to place as the horror of everything going on around you begins to sink in. Flames ate away at the buildings around you as what you could only come to realize were the lifeless bodies of your friends and neighbors. They lay along the cold ground with patches of white dancing along their skin.

You were speechless as your eyes grew wide seeing the flames eat away at everything you've ever known.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Tears ran down your eyes as you struggled not to sob. Why was this happening? What was happening? Why was the sky a mucky grey and the streets a ruthless red? It was sunny and beautiful earlier. People talked with happiness, but now those same people were lying lifeless on the street. Their voices forever silent.

Despite trying not to look at the unmoving bodies, you desperately tried to look for one boy in particular. But you couldn't see him anywhere among the dead.

You soon passed the hospital where his parents worked and where his sister resided. Looking up at the hospital, you were horrified to find it collapsing in on itself.

"N-No...they can't be..." You could only look out in horror. All of them were gone, yet here you were, alive as your mother ran down the dark streets of Flevance.

The cold water of the new world licked at your feet as you dangled them over the edge of the wooden deck. Patches of white decorate the skin even though you wish the water would wash it all away. The painful reminder of how alone you would forever be. Not a soul to call your friend, let alone love.

Why were you alive? Based on what research you could do and what you saw, you were supposed to die as a child? Why were you 23 and only a month away from 24? How dare you live while the rest of everyone you ever knew decay and rot away?

You look out to see and wonder, that maybe, just maybe, there was another. Someone else like you. Another soul that survived the massacre 13 years ago. Maybe they were immune just like you.

You didn't know how or why, but despite showing the physical change the amber lead disease did to your body, you've never had any symptoms. No weakness, no coughs, nothing. The one thing that showed you were a survivor of the disease was the white blotches on your skin.

"Hey! You!" Your body went rigid as you heard a voice call out to you. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you turn your head to look over your shoulder. A million things you were expecting to see, but a waving polar bear wasn't one of them. You rub your eyes to make sure you aren't seeing things

"You! You're the sick girl, right?" A frown worked its way onto your face. Even though it's all you've heard, it still didn't make it easier to hear.

"What is it to you? Come to mock me?"

The polar bear shakes his head. "No! Not at all! I just wanted to let you know that my captain can probably help you!"

"What I have can't be cured. So it'd be useless to try."

"Please? Come on, what do you have to lose?"

"Mom, please! We're almost there!" You whisper as you try to drag her faster. Yet, with every step you take, your mother gets slower. Using both your hands, you grab your mother's as tears rim your eyes. Trying your best, you start pulling even harder.

You turn your head to your mom. "Mom, we have to-" The words die in your throat as you see your mom's once white shirt spotted with an ever-growing red. Time seems to stop as you try to comprehend what you're seeing.

Stumbling, your mother turns you around. "Run baby. Run and don't stop till the smoke is no more." Tears stream down your face as everything seems to stop.

"No! I won't leave without you!" You cry as you try to turn around, but your mom keeps her grip tight.

"Please, baby, you have to go without me. You need to live. Live for the ones that couldn't make it. Live for me, baby." Your mother presses a kiss against your head as her grip turns light. A final gasp leaves her lips as you begin to run through the flames.

"Live for Flevance."

"Alright. I'll go. Show me the way."

~~~

#trafalgar law x reader #law x reader #one piece x reader #tw: blood #tw: death

[i-am-traveling-the-multifandom]

I find the complete poster quite poetic. Especially the light is very symbolic for every character. The light I believe symbolizes the consequences of their own actions. (This will be a long post so prepare for that).

Alicent stands tall and stares towards the light. Ready to face all the consequences of her actions and plotting. In my opinion, her being the one in front and not any other character shows the extents she would go to protect her family.

Aemond stands right behind Alicent basking in most of the light. He started the war when he killed Lucerys and he will face the most consequences because of his own mistake. This shows how he will be against what Alicent believes ("She holds love for the enemy") but will be on the team and will protect the others no matter what. He has a sword and is unsheathing it showing his restlessness and eagerness for war.

Aegon sits on the iron throne and shields his face with his crown trying to use his now great kingdom and army to protect himself from his inexcusable actions. But the light still comes in in the form of small rays. The consequences of his own actions breaking his family little by little until it is nothing but shreds. Shreds of happiness, shreds of the memories of his children, shreds of his once great rule, shreds of his face. All shown by these rays of sunlight.

Criston stands away from the throne light grazing his skin but not completely. Like I said earlier the light is the consequence of their own actions. Criston will suffer for his own actions but for most part he will be in misery for the side he chose. He will suffer because he chose the dowager queen and the usurper king over the Targaryen queen. That will be the reason of his ultimate downfall.

Otto is also barely touched by the light. But not because he won't face the consequences of his actions but because he is hiding. If you look at the poster he is hiding behind the throne. He will try to save himself, plot and plan but in the end he will suffer. Because he hid too long. No matter how much he tries to hide he will be grazed with the fire of the dragons.

Larys is a creep so I won't elaborate that much will have the same consequences as Otto. He will hide but, in the end, he will perish. Something to be noted is that he is not wearing the typical green attire but a dark red and black one. This may show that he is a valuable asset for the greens but not a part of them. Or this shows that he will switch sides in the end. That would be a great thing for the fans but a huge blow for team green as a whole.

Heleana stands in the darkness where no sunlight touches her. This shows that she has never done anything wrong but will face the consequences of the actions done by those around her. She will suffer because her husband usurped the queen, she will suffer because her brother killed Lucerys, she will suffer because her mother crowned Aegon, she will suffer for the faults of everyone but her.

Some other things to notice

Alicent's poster has the faith of the seven

Heleana's poster has Blood or Cheese in the background

Aegon's poster has a green flag that is torn because of the iron throne, perhaps showing how the war for the iron throne will tear the team green apart.

#pro team green #aegon ii targaryen #aemond one eye #alicent hightower #team alicent #heleana targaryen #queen alicent #aemond targaryen #house of the dragon #hotd season 2 #hotd #team green #otto hightower #sir criston #criston cole #helaena targaryen #helaena the dreamer #queen helaena #blood and cheese #fire and blood #larys strong #hotd posters

[g0dlyunsub]

on your own. | part one

a stalker forces you to abandon the bau and leaves you in the streets strapped to an explosive. when spencer finds you, you’re left with a bitter decision to try and save him. (part 1 of 2)

pairing :: spencer x fem bau!reader

warnings :: general cm themes, mentions/depictions of stalking, kidnapping, needles, blood, explosives, and death, lots of angst

word count :: 3k

author’s note :: literally the prelude to pure angst. poor reader has been through too much :(

accompanying song :: exit music (for a film) by radiohead

one year ago

you never said goodbye to spencer reid. 

the first set of warnings came in the form of a letter enveloped in frail parchment paper. you found it on your desk after you returned with the rest of the team from a case. the tiredness washed over you as you slumped in your chair, and you lazily reached for the envelope to detach the sealed flap from the wax.

it’s at that moment, when you read the first sentence, that you wished you never unfolded the letter. 

but your eyes betrayed you, and they shifted left and right as you proceeded to read through the spouts of hatred and animosity. 

you already know the story. you will die. everyone you love will also die. you will lose them forever. you will be sad and angry. you will weep. you will bargain. you will make demands. you will beg. you will pray. it will make no difference. nothing you can do will bring them back. you know this. your knowing changes nothing. 

i will make you understand this unfathomable truth again and again, as if for the very first time.

you missed the person you were five minutes ago. 

after re-reading the letter four times, you realized the uncanny similarity of the message to the iliad, maybe book 21. it was most likely someone trying to spew out a hollow threat against you and the team, using a contemporary translation to sound modish and intimidating. you made a mental note to ask spencer who the translator was once he returned with his coffee.

it wasn’t entirely uncommon for you to receive death threats, especially after working at the bau for five years. while you’ve managed to lock up some of those who had enacted the worst possible actions against humanity, you also became part of the receiving end – a channel for all of the violence to funnel through. 

before you placed the letter back into its envelope, you noticed a small card tucked in the corner of the sleeve. you cautiously took it out, a glossy sticker of a red eye on the face of the card glaring into your own irises.

you turned it over.

this one instantly drowned the color from your face. it knocked out all of your emotion, sealed it in a box, and shipped it away on a freighter that was already set out on a doomed path. 

tell him about me, go on. tell doctor spencer reid about me. i bet he would enjoy choosing who to save: aaron hotchner or david rossi.  

you heard someone clear their throat from behind you, and you swore you heard your own heart beat against the walls of your own skin, thudding like a drum with its sunken chambers. you straightened your posture and shoved the letter to the side. you prayed it wasn’t spencer standing behind you.

you sighed in relief when you turned to face anderson.

“ma’am, a letter for you.” he handed you another letter, this time a charcoal-gray envelope with no mailing address inscribed on it. just your name. after he was a considerable distance away from your desk, you teared the flap with shaky fingers and peered inside.

it was a set of photographs, the film papers bundled together with a single rubber band. you lifted the envelope, letting gravity do the work as the stash of photos fell to your lap. 

your throat ran dry. your worst fear was sitting on your lap, and you could do nothing but stare back at it with panic-stricken eyes.

your cheeks suffused with a color of pale blue and a trigger blew off in your head. 

each photo depicted you with a bau member. and you recognized every moment.

you were grabbing prentiss’ arm as you laughed at the nonsensical joke one of her date partners had tried on her.

you were hugging rossi at his doorstep after being invited to vent personal troubles over some scotch and wine.

you were giving jack a high-five after babysitting him as hotch thanked you for covering him when he went to new york to visit beth.

you were sitting at the dinner table with jj and will, happily eating from a plate of steak and fries as you discussed your future plans to go travel abroad.

you were with garcia, carrying multiple shopping bags as you stopped to point at the beautiful dress showcased in the vintage store across the street.

you were deeply engaged in conversation with morgan, sitting on a park bench and watching the children run around as though not a single worry clouded over their heads.

and you were with spencer, legs crossed as you took a sip out of your hot coffee and exchanged novels to read. a red ‘x’ marked over both of your faces. 

tell doctor spencer reid about me.

the tears fell one by one, staining the tanned paper and leaving the inked words to bleed across the wet spots.

you will die.

if ending credits ever existed in a movie as tragic as yours, they would roll right now – and you would be as good as a deceased character, your name marked in white against a black screen.

i will make you understand this unfathomable truth again and again, as if for the very first time.

you drew in a shaky breath and folded the letter with trembling fingers. the creases retracted the notebook-sized sheet into a flattened square. each turn of the paper felt like you were shattering your own bones, irreversibly folding them into an inhuman form.

two weeks. that was how much time you gave yourself to leave the bau. and to fray the twine between you and your beloved doctor.

you received the second warning a week before your departure. 

this one was a direct threat, a ruthless sign that he wasn’t giving you extra time to think about your options. in fact, he made it clear that you didn’t have an option.

your stalker had taken jack for twelve hours, during which your team – hotch especially – searched relentlessly. no one paused for a coffee break, and every single one of you was going to devote every waking hour to bring jack home safe. the last thing your team needed was a foyet wannabe, and everyone was on edge for reports, sightings, anything.

but the clues trickled to you. he dropped hints for you directly, even one at your cell number. while you relayed everything to your team, no one asked the questions until later. why did he leave you with the hints, trying to lead you to jack’s trail when it should’ve been hotch?

the inquiries dropped like flies when jack was brought to the steps of the fbi office by a “mysterious presence”, according to a messenger who passed hotch a card.

when the card was shown to you, a bone-chilling shiver propagated down your spine and your pupils dilated.

you already know the story, it read.

no one else knew what it meant except for you. typed in courier and printed on the all-too-familiar brown letter paper, the words bore into your soul and etched onto your heart with a searing pain.

you were angry. so, so angry. not at the fact that you couldn’t even get three hours of sleep ever since the week before, not at the fact that you had a stalker vexing you with taunts, but at the fact that he was targeting everyone but you.

to you, he was a coward. if it was rancor he harbored against you, he should’ve confronted you directly. tear a ligament, make you swim in your own blood, leave you for roadkill, you didn’t care. if he was so inclined to get at you, then you’d let him. but never – never – could you forgive anyone who let others in your own mess.

you reached out to hotch first. you told him you had found a new job in upstate new york, where you were going to work as a lecturer at a local university. to make it sound convincing, you told him that a family member of yours had fallen sick and was currently residing there, and you needed to seek solace in their presence.

he understood, just as you expected. he always did, without question. he’d pay visits at your new place and at the university, and catch up with you once in a while. jack would love to see you there, he said.

rossi, too, accepted it without much hesitation. he gave you one of his heartwarming smiles, wrinkled eyes reassuring you for any hesitation you had trying to tell him before. come by any time, we’ll always welcome you with open arms, he spoke with genuine kindness.

prentiss and jj, more reluctantly so. they gave you a tougher time, practically interrogating you – asking you where the address of your new place was, since when you had planned on leaving the bau, and if you needed help clearing out your current place.

you’ve – i mean we all have, a little, but you seem to be… disturbed lately. especially after… jack was abducted, prentiss told you. prentiss and her watchful eye. it’s why you specifically planned to tell her with jj in the room, so she’d reserve the harsher questions for another time when it’d be just the two of you, but by then you’d find a way to avoid the conversation altogether.

morgan didn’t say much. you had expected that though, considering the fact that you would often go to him to consult worries, plans, and theorize about each other’s future. he was silent when you delivered the news, but then he pulled you in as if to shield you from all of your lingering worries.

promise me, l/n. promise me you’ll come visit.

you broke like a brittle twig in his grasp. you wanted to give up so badly.

i promise, you whispered back. the masterful lie rolled off of your tongue before you could withhold yourself, and it lay suspended in the air with heavy guilt and ill-fated dishonesty.

garcia never accepted departure well. you could only watch in pity and remorse as the mascara stained her cheeks and the tears landed at her keyboard. her arms shook as she tried to embrace you, and you didn’t even have it in you to return the hug.

you wanted garcia to be the last to see you. you wanted to save your goodbye with her for the very last, a fluorescent presence in your otherwise gloomy life. her bubbly spirit met your silence with indescribable serenity, and you monumentalized your last moment in the bau with her. she made your life worth living.

you were trying. you were trying to spare the safety of your dearest friends at the expense of your own. you were trying to reclaim the blood that rushed to your face. you were begging for one chance. who could blame you?

spencer did.

you didn’t leave a single note for spencer. you never even told him a thing. to him, your departure was indigestible torment. he usually doesn’t wish the worst upon anyone, but with you, he wondered if he had to make an exception.

you ended up leaving the office a day before your said departure date, because you didn’t want to risk spencer finding out any earlier. you had meticulously planned everything out, asking every team member not to tell another. to your knowledge, no one knew that anyone else knew, save for prentiss and jj.

the day after you left, you received a text from spencer.

can we please talk? 

his message lit up your screen, a lone star in the night sky that was drowned of its usual vibrancy. 

you were too far into this to take a step back. 

after looking up to the sky one last time, taking in the sight of the polluted air clouding the atmosphere with your bloodshot eyes, you dropped your cell into a garbage bin.

you knew he’d be mad. 

you wanted him to stay mad. it would make all of this — the pain of moving on — easier.

some day, he’d understand. you hoped. you hoped and you hoped.

your bitter end was inevitable.

for three weeks, spencer was all alone.

he drew no effort to talk to anyone about it, because you robbed him of his mental clarity.

since the first day you joined the bau, you held him spellbound. you listened to his ramblings, exchanged book recommendations with him, and sat next to him in the darkness as he lay gasping for air after another one of his horrendous nightmares.

you were there for him, until you weren’t.

your absence was his worst torment, a form of loneliness he couldn’t sleep away.

there were times when he’d pour twice the water needed in his kettle, only to realize after that he set down a single coffee cup.

there were times when he’d intentionally wear his tie crooked, only to realize you were never going to be in the office to point it out for him.

there were times when you’d appear in his dreams, when he’d awake and see nothing but a pile of books before him.

you turned into a dull ache in his chest.

you became the sadness so deep in his chest that he couldn’t even cry about it. 

he wondered how it felt now that you left him behind. he put all of his cards on the table, exposing to you his most vulnerable moments and emotions. if only you showed your hand.

he wanted it to haunt you.

he wanted to hate you.

you were impossible longing, impossible infatuation. he thought you were unloveable.

who could blame him?

present day

you never left virginia. 

in fact, you were stuck making ends meet as a writer for a local news journal under the pseudonym lynne davis.

the truth is, it was impractical for you to find a new job and relocate within the mere span of two weeks. quitting your job at the bau was a given, but that also meant that your compensation would drop significantly. considering that you couldn’t work in law enforcement anymore, you had to start over from scratch.

so you tirelessly worked to scour earnings by typing away, writing editorial pieces on sports and personal health.

your night job, you worked as a cashier at a seven-eleven. because you couldn’t work remotely for your shifts, you took up a disguise. you dyed and cut your hair, exclusively wore long-sleeved articles of clothing, and kept a baseball cap on, making sure it snugged tightly against your forehead and hid your eyes.

yet in hindsight, nothing could have prepared you for the worst. the issue with all of this was that you were too consistent. had you changed up your routine from time to time, perhaps you wouldn’t have been caught while commuting to your night shift. but you were too predictable for him.

it happens when you get off of the bus.

when the man bumps into you, he murmurs apologies that you can’t ignore.

“sorry- are you okay?” he asks.

you look up briefly to meet his eye before forcing a small smile with upturned lips.

“yeah, um, don’t worry about it. i’m all good.” you tell him rushingly with the wave of your hand, before turning to walk to the store.

but he doesn’t leave you. his heavy steps mimic yours, treading quickly along the asphalt. after taking a few staggering steps, you stop. you annoyedly turn around, deciding to tell him off. 

“hey, i don’t know what you’re doing-”

you never get to finish your sentence. when you look at him, he’s already face to face with you, one hand grasping the side of your shoulders while the other presses a needle against your arm.

your entire time at the bau, you took pride in your acute awareness of your surroundings, never letting your guard down even around those you trusted. so this was the price you had to pay for your lack of practice – everything folded into a blurry stream as you looked down to see your legs dissipate in the ground, almost like you were falling in quicksand.

when you wake up, you’re on the ground in a narrow alleyway. you don’t know how much time has passed, but it’s hot and the air’s fetid and there’s an itch spreading throughout your entire body-

you look down. your hands are stained with a horrific shade of red, and there’s a crumpled note in your palm. you unfold it.

it will make no difference.

he had you. you scowl at the thought of him subduing you, strangling you with ropes and leashing you to a chair.

you freeze. he’s also made you wear a black leather jacket, bundling you up in the thick layer of suffocating heat. 

you unzip the jacket, and the walls in your head cave in instantly. to your dismay, you’re wearing an explosive vest, armed with a detonator and all. a timer lies near your ribcage, and your heart sinks. it hasn’t started yet.

a shaky exhale leaves your lips as you try to assess your situation.

you wish death would’ve consumed you already, but you have to stand up on your feet and run, away from the buildings and the people, as fast as your weary legs can carry you.

you stand and start to run in the opposite direction from the main road, the sounds of traffic bleeding into your ears as your feet slam against the ridged ground.

parched with unquenched thirst and begrimed with dust from the asphalt, you come to a stop when you reach a fork in the road. 

as you frantically try to think of which route to take, you hear it.

“y/n?”

it’s too familiar. the voice ridden with a slight rasp, carrying an air of inquisitiveness and soothing tenderness.

it sounds like clarity amidst all of the chaos.

you pray it’s not him.

you turn to meet the sight of the wrinkled shirt, waistcoat, and converses smudged with dirt. the brown disheveled hair, doe eyes, and moistened lips pursing with concern.

spencer fucking reid.

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