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anonymousewrites · 6 months

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Portal to My Heart (Book 3) Chapter Three

Loki x Reader

Chapter Three: From the Stream

Summary: Loki and (Y/N) have to prune themselves to stop time-slipping.

Loki, (Y/N), and Mobius stared at the pruning stick Ouroboros hold. It was their only option to keep (Y/N) and Loki from time-slipping, and yet the risks weighed on them. Still, it was their only option. They would have to take it.

Beside Ouroboros, the light of the lamp began to flicker. He frowned and reached for it. “Huh. Been doing that all day.”

“No, it’s not the lamp,” said Mobius. “We’re having power struggles all through the TVA.”

Ouroboros’s expression grew grave. “What did you say?”

Uh-oh. Our situation is about to get worse, thought (Y/N).

Ouroboros didn’t say anything more and walked out of the room with an urgent energy to his step. (Y/N), Mobius, and Loki exchanged a look before following him out. If Ouroboros was serious, that meant something terrible was going on.

“So, the timeline is branching now?” asked Ouroboros. “I bet that’s what’s causing the power surges. And maybe your time-slipping.”

“Really? How?” asked (Y/N).

“Things are a mess upstairs. This better be important,” said B-15 as she saw them passing by.

“It is,” said Mobius, hoisting the Extractor up.

“The branching is overloading the Temporal Loom,” said Ouroboros.

“Temporal Loom?” wondered Loki.

“You should have looked at the handbook,” said (Y/N). She had. She liked technology, and when she had first arrived at the TVA, she wanted to figure out a way to mess around with their tech, so she had read some portions of the handbook.

“You know, the Temporal Loom,” said Ouroboros.

“What handbook?” said Loki, glancing at (Y/N).

“There’s one on every desk at the TVA,” said Ouroboros. He pulled out a copy from a pocket of his apron and tossed it to Loki. “It’s a detailed index of every mechanical classification and maintenance routine in each sector, on each device, and inside every computer program at the TVA.” He smiled. “I wrote it myself.”

The lights flickered, and a bulb burst. The glass rained onto the ground, and the group stared. The surges were getting more erratic.

Ouroboros stopped before a door, and from the room within, a metal creaking could be heard. They stepped towards the doors as a group, Ouroboros scanned his ID, and the doors opened.

The room within was empty, but the wide opened windows displayed the Temporal Loom. It glowed brightly as the new branches of the multiversal timeline fought to pass through the rings. The entire structure creaked and rumbled from the sheer power.

“The Temporal Loom is the heart of the TVA,” said Ouroboros. “It’s where raw time is refined into physical time.”

“Right, because that makes sense,” said (Y/N).

“And it’s not constructed to weave together so many new branches, so it’s overloading,” continued Ouroboros.

“That does make sense,” said (Y/N).

“I’ve never seen it like that,” said Ouroboros.

“It looks like a disaster,” said Loki, gazing out at the Loom as it struggled to hold all the new branches.

“It is a disaster,” said Ouroboros.

“You don’t get down here too much, I guess,” said Mobius.

“I never had to,” said Ouroboros. “Miss Minutes took care of everything. I just ran diagnostics every few hundred years.”

“OB, how do we stop this?” asked Loki.

“How do we stop the meltdown?” asked (Y/N).

“We need to prune those extra branches,” said Ouroboros.

“No!” said (Y/N) sharply. “That would mean the death of countless people. No way.”

“Yeah, we can’t do that,” said B-15 forcefully.

“Then I’ll need to close the blast doors to protect the TVA while I figure out how to retrofit it to handle those branches,” said Ouroboros.

“What about the time-slipping?” asked Loki.

“Once those doors close, we won’t be able to resync you, so it’s now or never,” said Ouroboros.

“Or turn to spaghetti,” muttered (Y/N), exchanging a look with Loki.

“We don’t really have a choice,” said Loki, pulling up the pruning stick.

“Wait!” alerted Ouroboros. “It’s now, but no isn’t for a little bit! We still gotta get Mobius into position! But first…Mobius, to fix Loki and (Y/N)’s time-slipping, you’ll go out there—” he gestured to the erratically glowing Loom “—and launch the Extractor, which will pull Loki and (Y/N) from the time stream before I need to close the blast doors.”

Mobius just gave a thumbs up, giving up on arguing.

“Loki, (Y/N), this timer is synced to the Loom,” said Ouroboros, handing it to Loki. (Y/N) promptly took it from him since the last time he had a technology device they needed to survive, he’d broken it (Sylvie’s Tempad). “You two’ll stand by to prune yourselves within moments after this turns green. Green means Mobius succeeded. Green means prune. If you’re too late, you’ll be lost to time forever, and Mobius’ll lose all of his skin. Okay, you’ve got about an hour!”

Crack!

The energy surged violently from the Loom and hit the window, cracking it.

“You’ve got about five minutes,” said Ouroboros.

(Y/N) threw up her arms in exasperation.

“Anyway, I’m gonna get everything ready,” said Ouroboros.

“Dox and her crew are raiding the Armory!”

As if the situation couldn’t possibly get worse, another hunter, the one from the War Room, ran into the room to announce another crisis on the way.

“They’re going after Sylvie!” realized (Y/N).

“That’s their only lead,” said Loki. They took a step towards the hunter, but Mobius cut them off.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing? Where are you going?” he asked.

“Sylvie, Dox—” said (Y/N).

“No!”

“But—!” said Loki.

“We have one shot at this!” said Mobius.

“I’ll handle Dox,” said B-15. She nodded at them solemnly. “Good luck.” She left the room.

“Mobius, if we—If we don’t make it back…” Loki trailed off, and (Y/N) shifted uncomfortably beside him.

“You’ll make it back,” said Mobius with certainty Loki and (Y/N) didn’t have.

“Right, but when we use this thing, we might not make it back—”

(Y/N)’s words were cut off as she and Loki time-slipped and disappeared. The pruning stick clattered to the ground.

They stumbled and grunted when they stabilized and looked around themselves. The room was the same, but the shutters were closed. The blast doors had been shut. This was the future, not the past of the TVA.

“Loki, the pruning stick didn’t make it,” breathed (Y/N) in realization. Her eyes widened, and she gripped the timer tighter.

“We need to find one,” said (Y/N).

They took off out of the door and down the corridor. There was no time to lose, or they were dying and Mobius was losing his skin.

Around them, people were being instructed to “evacuate” for some reason, but (Y/N) and Loki had no time to consider those details. They needed to get to a Timestick and prune themselves. They ran into the offices and tore up the desks, frantically searching for the device they needed.

“Come on, come on,” muttered (Y/N).

Nothing, so they ran into another office, the one they had made a crack in a few hours before (years for the TVA). Above them hung the TV, and it displayed a wide array of timelines, the ones they’d been seeing, flashing in the red when they went through the Loom.

“At least we didn’t slip too far forward,” said Loki.

(Y/N) stared at the TV in confusion for a moment, wondering about the blast doors being closed but the Loom still overloading, but there was too much going on for it to be more than a passing thought.

“We need a Timestick,” said (Y/N). She grabbed Loki’s hand and dragged him out of the room, running for their lives.

They slowed to a stop as they passed an elevator when the timer trilled. (Y/N) and Loki stared at it. The red light flicked to green. They had mere moments. They stared at each other in shock, and they opened their mouths to speak on all the feelings they held. If they were going to die, they were going to die unburdened by hidden love.

Brrring!

A telephone rang in the silence, and (Y/N) and Loki’s heads snapped to it. In a strange sort of compulsion, they moved towards it. The telephone was old-fashioned and sat on a small table, looking innocent and alone in front of an elevator.

(Y/N) reached for the phone, but a thump from within the elevator made her jump, and Loki grabbed her, pulling her away in case there was danger. A pair of hands grabbed the slit of the elevator doors and pulled to open it.

Loki and (Y/N) braced, and (Y/N) reached for Loki’s hand.

A face appeared in the crack, and their eyes widened.

“There you are,” said Sylvie in relief.

“Sy—”

(Y/N)’s words were cut off as the sudden pain of being pruned ran through her. She tried to turn alongside Loki, but the moment her eyes caught a glimpse of two figures behind her, her body dissolved, and she was gone.

(Y/N)’s mind was nowhere and everywhere. She had experienced this before. When Loki had cast that spell on her in their original timeline in 2012, she had connected with his magic, and her powers allowed her a vision of him. (Y/N)’s consciousness had separated from her body and traveled with him.

This was the same but oh so much worse. Her mind wasn’t just separate from her body, it was everywhere. Every atom of (Y/N)’s body screamed with the powers and energy it had never gotten to use, never gotten a chance to really learn, and it exploded as it was freed from the body it was trapped within.

Her consciousness mixed with her abilities in a way it had never been able to, and her mind was nowhere but aware of everywhere and everytime. She saw glimpses of societies, wars, loves, losses, pain, joy, and every other possible thing, all dressed in different eras and places but all timelines, people, lives existing simultaneously.

And then (Y/N) was gone, and the sights and feelings were wiped away in a moment as her mind was pushed back into a body.

But her abilities still roared for release, and her mind still burned.

(Y/N) and Loki’s bodies flew from the time stream and landed on Mobius in his suit. They crashed through him and the doors, which snapped closed the second they hit the floor. They all groaned and coughed at the pain and bruises undoubtedly beginning to form. Loki pushed himself up and extended a hand. (Y/N) took it, and he helped her up.

“We survived,” said Loki.

“We did,” said (Y/N), panting.

Loki gripped her hand tighter and sent a prayer of thanks to the old gods for keeping her by his side. He didn’t know what he’d do without her.

“A little help here, guys?” said Mobius, trying to get up in the suit.

“Oh, right,” said (Y/N), letting go of Loki’s hand, but she gave it a final squeeze first. She couldn’t help the show of affection. Not when the man she loved was still alive.

Loki and (Y/N) pulled Mobius up and took off the helmet. He took a deep breath in relief.

“Mobius,” said Loki and exchanged a glance with (Y/N).

She nodded. She knew what he was going to say. She had the same thought. (Y/N) looked at Mobius levelly. “We need to find Sylvie.”

Taglist:

@alexpangender

@technikerin23

@kikster606

@neenieweenie

@h-l-vlovesvintage

@chronicallybubbly

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polaroidcats · 4 months

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I assume that you have emotional attachments to objects (because of the print you love) and so have a favourite book which you know you will never read again but can’t throw out (and what is it if I’m right?) ❤️❤️

Hi Rory!!! 💖

oh wow everyone is nailing it with these, you are so, so correct!!!!

My inability to get rid of things I have emotional attachments to definitely applies to books, here is an incomplete list of books I will likely never even read or reread but also will never be able to give away:

My Gregor the Overlander books!! I knew Suzanne Collins mostly from these books and when Hunger Games came out/became popular I tried to tell all my friends about this series because I loved it so much when I was 10-12 years old!! And my first internet name was "Boots" because of the younger sister in that book, I loved her so much. And I don't see myself rereading them anytime soon but I have so many fond memories of absolutely devouring and rererererereading them as a preteen so they will stay forever!

"Die Geschwister Apraksin" by Karla Schneider, this was also one of my fave books when I was around 12-13, I don't remember much, except that it was about 5 orphaned siblings during or after the Russian revolution, and it absolutely broke my heart and I cried more than I had ever cried before when reading a book. I don't even think it was a particularly sad book, I think it just made me very emotional for some reason, to imagine these kids' lives and their struggles. And I read it as part of my local bookstore's initiative where they let kids borrow and read the advanced reader copies of books, and then we wrote little reviews that would get posted on a pinboard at the store. So when I had to give the book back (in order to borrow a new book, it was like a little library system within the bookstore), I immediately asked the bookseller if they had the book in stock because I wanted to buy it with my pocket money, but they only had the paperback and (again) I had gotten so attached to the hardback one and the bookseller could tell how much the book meant to me so she just gifted me the copy I had just returned, the one I read, and that meant so much to me, to get to keep the physical copy that I actually read and not have to buy a new version.

Herzen, Hände und Stimmen by Ian McDonald - I have never read this book, idek what it's about but from the book cover I assume it's scifi. I did an exchange semester in France as a teenager, and my host family didn't speak any german but somehow they got this random (thrifted) german book and they gave it to me bc I speak german. And I've never been that much into scifi but the gesture was so sweet and I have so many nice memories of my time with them, so even though I will probably never read that book I will also never give it away.

A complete translation from Vergils Aeneid with the latin and german text side by side. I did Latin in school, and for our final exams we all had to pick one specialized subject we would have an oral exam on, and my specialized subject in Latin class was the 6th book of the Aeneid, so even though I barely remember any Latin and will definitely not reread that for fun, I enjoyed it back in the day and will never get rid of that book.

I have a book on erotic dream interpretation, idk if that fully counts into this category, but my friend and I saw it when my uni library (!!) had a thrift sale of their old books, and that book was so hilarious, I had to get it and then for a while whenever I had people come over to my flat to pregame I would ask them about their dreams and would then very professionally interpret them with my book. This one might not fully count bc I'm not ruling out that I will never do that again but I haven't looked at it in a long time but would never get rid of it because it's too iconic haha

Okay this got way too long so I'm stopping now, but yeah hahaha you were so correct with this one 😂

make an assumption about me!

#ask game #rory tag #thank you for for sending this haha sorry it got so long!!<3

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read-bi-lina · 2 years

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My goal during pride month was to post solely about LGBTQ+ books throughout the month but that didn’t end up happening. Thankfully, pride isn’t for just a month so I still plan to share plenty of LGBTQ+ titles with you, starting now.

wlw historical fiction:

Carol (formerly titled The Price of Salt) by Patricia Highsmith: It’s not one of my favorites but I’m glad I read this book as it’s one of the classics for the LGBTQ genre and it’s based off the author’s own life. In the book, Therese begins to realize her lesbian identity when she meets Carol, who struggles to keep custody of her daughter as a queer woman in 1950s USA. TW: blackmail

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid: I expected to like this book but I underestimated just how much because when I finished it I literally gasped and said, “wow…that was such a good book… amazing”. I fell in love with it and I immediately knew I’d have to get my own physical copy for keeps. In the book, Monique struggles with her divorce and her career as a journalist. She wants to make a name for herself and the opportunity arises when Evelyn Hugo, an actress from Hollywood’s golden age, requests an interview with her and only her. Monique is confounded because until then, Evelyn’s had a reputation for being recluse and refusing to speak with the press. During the interview, Monique learns about Evelyn’s seven husbands, her bisexual awakening, and even something about herself. TW: domestic violence/domestic abuse, alcohol abuse/drug abuse, misogyny/sexism, sexual harassment/sexual assault, death/grief, homophobia/queermisia, threatened outing/forced outing, blackmail/manipulation

Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo: This book was real and beautiful. I had to buy a physical copy to add to my bookshelf. The story follows a Chinese American teenage girl living in 1950s Chinatown San Francisco as she discovers her lesbian identity and dreams of a future in the space program. It tackles family trauma, lost friendships, stereotypes, and the struggles of the queer community in 1950s USA. This book is a must-read, go check it out. TW: homophobia/lesbophobia, queermisia, racism/xenophobia, deportation/threat of deportation, death/loss

wlw sports fiction:

(Can someone pleaseee write a wlw romance centered around ice hockey??)

She Drives Me Crazy by Kelly Quindlen: I’m not crazy about this book (sorry, I had to). The story follows Scottie, a high school basketball player struggling to get over her ex, who she just loses the first game of the season to. When Scottie feels like things can’t get worse for her she gets into a fender bender with the head cheerleader, Irene, in the school parking lot. Now she must give Irene lifts until her car is repaired and, oh yeah, did I forget to mention they can’t stand each other? Despite the fact, Scottie comes up with a plan to make her ex jealous and get her back: pretend to date Irene. Warning: stop reading if you don’t want spoilers! This book was ok, I didn’t dislike it but I just couldn’t fall in love with it. It follows the enemies-to-lovers trope but I thought the enemies part lasted longer than the getting to know each other and fall for each other part. It just seemed like it didn’t take much for them to fall in love and yet I wasn’t convinced the chemistry was there. There were some cute parts in the book but I thought the grand gesture Scottie does for Irene at the end was cheesy. It was too much. What I think the author meant to be a cute scene for the readers to gush over was just cringeworthy to me.

Like Other Girls by Britta Lundin: I was a little worried I wasn’t going to like this book but I was pleasantly surprised. It’s about Mara, an athletic teenager who gets kicked off her high school basketball team after she hits her teammate. For her coach to reconsider her spot on the team Mara must prove she can be part of a team again. She tries out for the school’s volleyball team before she ultimately decides that volleyball is too “girly” for her and she tries out for the football team instead. Because, why not? She’s good at it, she enjoys it, and she likes being around guys better than girls. Little did she know the impact she would have for becoming the first girl on the team. I thought this book would be all about bashing femme girls, and it does start off that way. But let me tell you, I showed up for the character development and Mara (or Britta Lundin rather) delivered. Mara’s story also includes her struggle with her family’s acceptance (or lack thereof) of her identity and interests, as well as a disingenuous friendship. TW: sexual harassment, sexism and intolerance

Home Field Advantage by Dahlia Adler: Author of Cool for the Summer, Dahlia Adler does it again. Amber is a closeted high school cheerleader who dreams of becoming head cheerleader and Jaq Jack, short for Jaqueline, is the out and proud new girl in school. Oh, and she’s also the new quarterback after the last QB passed away. Amber is one of two people accepting of the change and while she’s supposed to be helping her squad and the football team to sabotage Jack, the two of them get close. Amber then questions what she cares about more, being head cheerleader and keeping her identity a secret, or Jack. TW: death/grief, sexism, bullying, homophobia/queermisia, threatened outing/blackmail

Catch and Cradle by Katia Rose: After a messy breakup that somehow effected her whole lacrosse team, Becca comes up with an idea in order to prevent history from repeating itself; an unofficial rule that teammates can’t date. But then Hope joins the team and the two find it harder and harder to resist the notion that maybe rules are meant to be broken. I thought Hope and Becca had good chemistry and the representation in this book doesn’t stop at sexual orientation or gender identity, because Hope struggles with dyslexia. However, this book also has unnecessary drama and fondue level cheesiness.

Queer contemporary romance series:

Ashley Blake Herring vs Alexandria Bellefleur, whose work do I prefer?

Easy. Blake takes the cake with Delilah Green Doesn’t Care. Her next additions, Astrid Parker Doesn’t Fail and Iris Kelly Doesn’t Date haven’t been released yet but I’m immensely excited for them. I love Delilah Green Doesn’t Care so much I’m proud to have my own paperback copy sitting on my bookshelf. I plan to write more in-depth about the series as the next two books drop. They have big shoes to fill so hopefully I love them as much as (or better yet, even more than) the first in the series!

When reading Alexandria Bellefleur’s series, I accidentally skipped her second book, Hang the Moon. I got confused and I thought that was her third book but that’s actually Count Your Lucky Stars, which I did read. When I realized my mistake, I decided not to read Hang the Moon because I already knew how it ended after reading the books out of order. I also lost the desire to finish the series because I didn’t love the other two books. That’s not to say I disliked Written in the Stars or Count Your Lucky Stars. There were parts in both I enjoyed (more so in Count Your Lucky Stars, except for an unnecessary fight) and I did love the depicted friendships, but overall they didn’t leave me with the desire to add them to my bookshelf.

That’s it for now but I’ll be back to post more recommendations/reviews on other titles. In the meantime, please let me know if I’ve left out any important trigger warnings or if you have any recommendations for me in these genres. Thank you!

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bookaddict24-7 · 2 years

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REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2022!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

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261. Forgiving Lies by Molly McAdams--⭐️

Beware of this book for those who need TW!!!! There’s a very descriptive r@pe scene. There is physical and emotional abuse. There is victim blaming. There is stalking. There is an insta romance that the MC falls into very close to her attack and I know everyone handles the trauma differently, but it felt a little too…easy for her to just move on to another guy? Also, warning for the MC saying that it’s not r@pe because he didn’t finish. Yeah, this book was a lot. I’m glad I’m finished it and that it’s not on my shelf anymore. Also there’s a sequel which just seems…pointless?

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262. So You Want to Be A Wizard by Diane Duane--⭐️⭐️⭐️

I’ve had this book on my bookshelves for years and I’ve always been curious if I would actually like it. While it wasn’t what I was expecting, it had its entertaining moments. This gave me similar vibes to A WRINKLE IN TIME in that it explores magic and the whimsical, but in a logical and slightly over wordy way. It had its moments where I was confused because of the writing and it made me remember how different fantasy and sci-fi were written in the past in comparison to today. I have the whole series, so I will try to read it 😂

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263. Moonlight by Rachel Hawthorne--⭐️⭐️⭐️

After having this on my currently reading list for far too long, I finally finished!! While this wasn’t a perfect read, it was actually a lot of fun. I already want the sequel for future reading. I enjoy the occasional werewolf (or shifter) lore and this one entertained me. The romance with the brooding tough boy was predictable but still fun. The writing is a little simple and predictable, but I think it would make for a great summer read.

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264. The Lesbiana’s Guide to Catholic School by Sonora Reyes--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Please check out the trigger warnings before you read this book, specifically TWs for: Homophobia, racism, Depression, and mention of suicide. One of the first times this book came to my attention was when one of my friends mentioned the first sentence of the book. Pick up a copy and read that sentence--I'm sure it'll hook you right away. This book had so many layers to it and Reyes captured them beautifully. One of the things I appreciated the most was how Latine culture can or might look at the topic of the LGBTQ+ community. This book shows how some people can surprise us, but others can fall into the homophobia that sometimes thrives in some Latine families/homes. Another thing I really appreciated was Reyes's representation of how depression can present itself differently and how good some people are at masking it. This particular part of the book will get your heart going, but I think that the topic was appropriate, especially because it could touch a reader who is quietly struggling. The MC was great and I loved seeing her character growth; especially because it was so imperfect. That fear of not knowing who to trust with one of your biggest secrets and maintaining that self-security one might build from living a life surrounded by those who fight to keep others like you down is very real. I think many will be able to relate to her--especially because of her imperfections. I really enjoyed this book and I think it's an important one for people to check out. I think this is one of those quiet YA books that will be one of those "I can't believe I hadn't read this until now" type of books.

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265. Stay True by Hua Hsu--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have been reading sooooo many memoirs lately and I'm really here for it. I never thought I would be so intrigued by other peoples' lives and histories. Although this takes place during a time where I was barely alive, I found it fascinating to hear about someone's younger years during some pretty pivotal decades. I also have a soft spot for memoirs that speak about a family's immigration experience--although this time, it was a life story from a first generation immigrant child and not a .5 generation immigrant child. It was fascinating seeing how different his life was when I recall reading histories of others who went to their new countries as children as opposed to children who were born in the new countries. When it got to a certain part, my heart broke for the author. That was such a jarring moment that I had to pause for a second to fully understand what I had just read. This whole memoir felt like a dedication to the subject. It was written in such a compelling way that I couldn't believe it was over when it ended.

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266. A Little Bit Broken by Roz Weston--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Please look for the TWs before you pick this one up! I'm going to be honest, I didn't even know who Roz Weston was before I came across his memoir at work. And because I've been falling in love with memoirs and autobiographies, I HAD to read this one. I wasn't disappointed. Weston has gone through A LOT. Honestly, when he started detailing his self-destructive behaviour and self-worth issues I wasn't wholly surprised. It's incredible to see how put together of an image some people can show off to the world, but inside they're a storm cloud of emotions and experiences they can't voice or even begin to fully comprehend. This was a beautiful, raw, and heartbreaking life story and frankly, good for him for succeeding despite the trauma he faced. I also liked seeing the complicated relationship he had with his dad, even though his dad wasn't like the other dads of the time. I highly recommend you give this a read--especially the audiobook since he narrates the book himself. He has a great voice.

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267. Astrophysics for People in a Hurry by Neil deGrasse Tyson--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm not going to lie, I feel like I didn't actually understand most of what I listened to in this audiobook, but Tyson has such a compelling way of teaching his readers that I enjoyed just listening to his words. Definitely recommend this one for anyone who is looking for a great storyteller that teaches you some science about our universe.

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268. Mr. Wrong Number by Lynn Painter--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I had a lot of fun reading this one--especially when it started getting spicy. Not only did we get a great enemies to lovers trope, but we got some hilarious text conversations between two characters with a ridiculous level of chemistry. If you want to giggle and just enjoy some good old fashioned tension, then this might be the next read for you!

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269. Deception by Lee Nichols--⭐️⭐️⭐️

I finally finished this book after having it on my bookshelf for forever and a day. I won't lie--I was thrown off at the beginning because the writing was incredibly juvenile. But as the story progressed, the MC grew and the writing matured a bit more. It got more interesting and I found myself being drawn back to the book more than when I first started it. I think the concept is really interesting and some of the mysteries were great and will most likely lead to an equally entertaining sequel. There were some dumb things here and there that made me roll my eyes, but I'm hoping to see some resolutions regarding those issues in the sequel. I'd recommend this series for those who like ghost stories with a bit of mystery and romance. Just keep in mind that this is an older book, so it might feel a little young (back when YA read younger).

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270. Forever Birchwood by Danielle Daniel--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I went into this a little wary because I wasn't entirely in the mood, but I became more intrigued when I realized when this story is set and when we started going into more detail about the friend group. Though this is set in Canada, it gave me strong NOW & THEN vibes. One of the things I love about these kinds of middle grade books is that some of the situations that would normally be used to create drama in older books are quickly resolved. It was interesting seeing these young girls on the brink of teenhood finding themselves while also trying to save something they love. I think young readers will appreciate and be able to relate to the changes the girls experience and the challenges they face that comes with growing up. Also, it was great to see that this story was set in a place so close to home and featured some great Indigenous representation!

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Happy reading!

#books #bookish #booklr #bookworm #bookaholic #bibliophile #book blog #book blogger #Features #on books #on reading #review #reviews #book reviews #my writing #my opinion #book list #long text post

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ladyelainehilfur · 2 years

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Weaktober Day 14: Nuclear

“Hey. Hey!”

Gray spun around, wondering who was calling him. He’d just left the bakery where he usually had breakfast before heading to work. He valued the silence before he’d be bombarded by questions at the guest lectures he spoke at. Science was not that hard, but none of those moneyed college kids seemed to know that.

He was faced with a tall stranger gasping for breath, hunched over. It was 60 degrees but he wasn’t wearing a sweater. When he finally caught his breath and stood to his full height, Gray sourly noted that this was another individual who claimed a good foot over him. His cheeks were flushed and his ears and nose were tipped red from the cold.

“Thank you for stopping,” he started, taking in a calming breath to regain his composure. “You’re Gray Yeon, right?”

Gray didn’t expect to run into a fan at the cafe of all places. He wasn’t a celebrity, per se; his book had only sold a few hundred copies. But he’d won an award or two and it had launched a new phase in his career, one where he got paid to talk about something he was good at. It wasn’t the dream or anything, but it was nice not worrying about rent.

“And you are...?” Gray asked.

The stranger held out his hand. “I’m Stephen Ahn.” Gray didn’t like the look on Stephen. He was tall, sweaty, and his socks clashed with his shoes. But Gray didn’t want to be impolite, so he blithely shook Stephen’s hand and let go as quickly as socially acceptable.

Stephen closed and opened his mouth, like a fish who couldn’t find the right words. “I-I read your book on nuclear physics,” he said.

“Ah.” Gray offered up a neutral smile. What did this guy want, an autograph? A signed copy? It wasn’t like Gray carried around extra books in case people felt like interrupting his morning routine to fanboy.

“Can--can I buy you a coffee or something?” Stephen asked, desperate.

Gray shifted. “I’m going to be late for work.” Unlikely. He always arrived two hours early to practice his presentation and that was an affair that lasted maybe 20 minutes. Gray had an astonishing amount of free time.

He winced at Stephen’s puppy eyes, wondering how it was possible for a grown man to still make those. And so convincingly, nonetheless. He bit the inside of his cheek and reluctantly agreed to let Stephen drag him back to the bakery and sit down while he ordered.

In his 26 years, Gray couldn’t remember being co-erced into doing anything. Yet, Stephen slid him the hot cup and immediately launched into a bluster about the individual chapters in Gray’s book, questioning some theories and asking Gray what he thought of this and that. Gray answered as fast as he could, struggling to keep up with Stephen’s enthusiasm. He was taken aback. Stephen wasn’t mimicking age-old grandiloquence; he knew what he was talking about.

“T-Then do you read W. Lee too?” he found himself asking, heart thumping at the thought of having an intellectual peer.

Stephen nodded. “Yeah, of course! I read everyone, but your book’s been my favorite so far. You talked about stuff so many people just brush over. I really admire the depth of your writing.”

Gray blushed. “Thank you.”

Another hour passed before Gray actually had to tell Stephen he needed to go. His drink, which went untouched, had gone cold but he held onto it as he stood up, wanting to keep it as a memory of that morning. Stephen stood up as well, thanking Gray for indulging him. “I can’t believe I got to meet you in person,” he said, absolutely glowing. “What are the odds?”

Gray had been holding his tongue, but it came spilling out now. “Um, I come here every morning at 7. My lectures are at 10. I go to the Italian-French fusion place down the street at 6PM every Thursday.” He swallowed thinly. “Just so you know the odds.”

The corners of Stephen’s eyes crinkled. “Yeah?”

“Yes.” He wanted to see Stephen again, with his green plaid socks and sideways dimples.

Stephen grinned, understanding Gray. “Luckily, I think the odds are in our favor.”

#weak hero #weaktober #weaktober day 14 #webtoon #gray yeon #stephen ahn

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dreamingdarklyblog · 9 months

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Hobbies

So... Still sort of struggling with WHAT to post about. The blog is supposed to be about this "journey" or whatever. The ongoing process of playing with my head for fun and profit (I can dream can't I?). But how to do that? If I just post details of trances, I'm a pretty unreliable narrator. And frankly it's pretty embarrassing, and hard to explain. It's like explaining a dream. A dream doesn't have a narrative structure, they hop around, they aren't linear or attached to time or objective reality, so describing them using an objective reality is difficult... Anyway. I thought maybe I'd tell you about some of the things I like? I think I mentioned playing a lot of video games. Which I do. I used to read a lot of books, but that gets pretty expensive... I'm a fast reader and I like to actually have physical copies, so it takes up a lot of space and can cost $20 a day easily to keep me in new things to read.

So yeah these days I tend more towards video games and tv shows. Exercise and writing. I was playing a lot of Zelda, but it got kind of difficult. It needs too much attention and focus, and I get kind of distracted, and it's pretty impossible to play with one hand. This past month I've been playing a lot of modded minecraft actually. That works out well. I like the minecolonies mod because I can just queue up things, set up my little people building and expanding the colony while I rub, makes something that would be semi boring a lot of fun, you know?

Was also really easy to do while reading but again, I just can't afford that so much anymore. Watching tv while rubbing is easy of course, so that's always nice =). Been watching Justified the past week or so. I never tried it before, as it being all law enforcement focused made me think I wouldn't enjoy it. But it's been pretty good so far. Timothy Olyphant makes pretty much anything better I think.

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the-yearning-astronaut · 10 months

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Thank your for your lengthy answer on the murderbot ask. I know neither you nor the author can influence the price I was just really surprised you know?

I'm not American so target is not an option for me. We do actually get it as paperback in my country tho.

I do wanna support the author that's why I wanted to buy a physical copy from a local book store instead of the ebook from amazon but I do wonder what the publisher were thinking at 20 bucks for a paperback when my normally 800 page paperbacks are like 10.

Sadly English audiobooks don't work at all for me, tho I did just check and my library does have the books available at the moment. But I'm not really a library person. I always worry to much about taking care of the book. I'm like a breaking the spine person. Tho with under 200 pages per book I probably could read it at the library in like two hours or so... Hmm we'll see.

Oh man I've seen some of the covers for the international versions and I'm High Key jealous -- they are so pretty. Anyway, I wish I had more relevant international resources/info to offer.... Unfortunately I struggle to even find things here in the US sometimes due to uhhhhh certain monopolies on advertising and distribution. And yeah the price is definitely surprising. I think it's becoming more common tho for novellas to have that price point? At least, one of my other favorite novella series is also $20/book. (Incidentally, A Psalm for the Wild Built is also about humanity and identity and robots...I'm sensing a Theme...)

I'd be surprised if the spines of the library books weren't already broken tbh so maybe you wouldn't have to worry about that! I'm the same way with books tho, especially when I'm borrowing them, so Can Relate.

And the author should still get compensated for the book, even when it's an ebook from Amazon! I just don't know how much. Same with any legitimate purchase/rental -- it's the pirating of books that actively harms the authors. So whether you do decide to check it out or purchase it, you'll be supporting the author either way ☺️

Me @ you:

#fox answers #the murderbot diaries #i hope my answers are coming across as idk... conversational? friendly?#and not confrontational or something #its been a long exhausting week and ive been struggling with both reading and conveying tone/intent the last few days sooo yeah 🙈

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magicalyaku · 2 years

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My June was literally just sleeping and reading. After Dokomi on the first weekend I was soo exhausted. I had to catch up on all the hours of sleep I missed in April and May ... And just when I thought I'll return to the land of the living the printhouse finally reacted to my complaint about the quality of my books, and hell, it's been years since I've been that angry! 8D Stillll dealing with that shit. So yeah, first half: physically exhausted. Second half: mentally exhausted. Great!

I did not expect to find a common theme among the books this month but surprisingly there is one: "Leave the past behind and start something new". I mean, maybe that's almost every book ever buuut ... Here's what I read:

The good ones: So this is Ever After (F.T. Lukens): Much needed fantasy and lots of fun and warmth and cuteness! I hope F.T. Lukens stays in the fantasy lane. I need more of this! I hope you get this message (Farah Naz Rishi): Finally the real end of the world, not just a metaphorical one. And honestly? People are scary! But I loved how it all came together in the end. All the struggling gets rewarded. The Friend Scheme (Cale Dietrich): I feel, this one took the easy way out on several (possible) confrontations but it was still a nice read. A different setting than usual for sure. Heartbreak Boys (Simon James Green): Perfect summer read. More cute fun. (And for once, the German cover is so much better than the original, which is horrendous, sorry 8D) Kiss & Tell (Adib Khorram): Has some important things to say and is still entertaining! The bad thing is that now I kinda want to listen to their music. Someone give me an animated music video pretty please.

Suprisingly Good: Where we left off (Roan Parrish): Borrowed this from the library for the train ride. Judging by the cover of the first volume I did not expect anything. But I liked it the moment Will explained how he glared at babies just to annoy their mothers. 8D I think this is the first book I read up to now that is solely focussed on the characters’ interactions and growth. As in nothing else happens at all. It’s interesting how it works.

Hmmm: Paper & Blood (Kevin Hearne): I enjoyed the first volume but getting through vol2 was a little bit harder. In vol1 there was a cameo of a character of the author's earlier series and I thought that was cool. But in this one that guy came as an additional cast member and while he was likable it still kind of annoyed me, because it made me feel like I missed out on so much stuff as I have not read his series ... I hope vol3 will finally be about Al's curses. That will be more fun again probably. If you change your mind (Robby Weber): Uhm, the drama of privileged white kids? It was sort of entertaining but the characters did annoy me on multiple occassions. Like when the ex wanted his date. He knew the scriptwriting was important for the protagonist and that there was only a little time left but he still insisted the date had to be now. Why not just wait a week?! ML as well though. Tell him off, boy! Show some spine! D: Also worst names ever. Harry and Haley? I couldn’t help wondering how similar these names would be in Japanese. “8D

On another note, I gifted “The Seven Husband of Evelyn Hugo” to my mother for her birthday and she seems to like it, while my sister found my copy of “Heartbreak Boys” lying around, read the blurb and totally dismissed it. Rude! Also “Aru Shah” is finally being published in German which is great because everyone everywhere should read it, but wtf is with that cover? Is it the lighting or is that girl’s hand white ....?!

#yaku reads #june wrapup #queer books #queer lit #lgbtq books #so this is ever after #if you change your mind #i hope you get this message #kiss & tell #where we left off #the friend scheme #heartbreak boys #paper & blood

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pastelwitchling · 4 months

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How's everyone's reading going? I always struggle to pick up more than kindle unlimited sports romances when school and work start, but I'm really pushing myself past that stress in small ways.

Here are the books I'm currently reading, just finished, and am hoping to get to soon that I really wanted to talk about:

The Sun and the Star (read): This book is pure serotonin. It's one of the longer Percy Jackson books, but I never felt the length for a single second. There were definite moments where I could tell someone other than Rick Riordan had taken over writing, but that doesn't change how fun and romantic the book was. What an absolute treasure.

Scoring Position (read): kindle unlimited mlm hockey romance. I just finished this today actually, and it ended up getting a lower rating than what it had been for most of the book, but I'm still glad I read it. It did offer a good palette cleanser, and though I didn't end up loving it the way I'd hoped I would, I would still recommend it for a nice time.

Under the Whispering Door (currently reading): I tried reading this a few months ago and DNFed after chapter five or something. I felt like the humor was hit-and-miss, I thought Wallace was a little too annoying, but I knew that I didn't want to DNF it for good. Why? I really liked Hugo, Mei, and Nelson, and the teashop. I thought there was some good potential there. I have to drive a lot to school and work, and I figured that since I couldn't enjoy reading this physically, then maybe I would have a better time on audiobook, annnnd... yeah. The narrator is phenomenal, I would highly recommend this audiobook if you couldn't get into the paperback. He has a way of reading in SUCH a funny way that I was suddenly laughing at lines I didn't think were funny the first time. I've got less than 3 hours of the audiobook left, and I'm having a great time. It's not anything groundbreaking, and I think the first half was very slow and repetitive, but it really has got me thinking about death and life a little bit more, and I really enjoy these characters. I now love Wallace, he's hilarious and becomes so easy to love, and I can't wait to see how this story ends.

House of Sky and Breath (currently reading): Anyone else really have trouble reading physical books when they're super stressed or overwhelmed? That's kind of where I am. I'm annotating and tabbing my paperback copy, I'm 10 chapters in, but I feel like I just don't have the strength right now to physically hold a book, you know? The first book in particular already took me so long to read because of its length (you're not Order of the Phoenix, STOP trying to be Order of the Phoenix, not every story can carry that kind of page count!), and now I just feel like I'd be going through it faster if I can read it digitally. I won't get my ebook copy from the library for over 2 weeks, so I might just try to read as much as I can now, and then finish with the ebook. I know the big spoiler at the end, but beyond that, I have no idea what happens in this book, and I can't wait to find out.

Books I want to pick up next:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part of last year's reread so that I can start this year's reread. I'm afraid, but it must be done.

Percy Jackson and the Chalice of the Gods: I think I was subconsciously waiting until after the show ended to dive back into this world, and I'm just ready to spend all day with my favorite demigod (and satyr) trio.

House of Flame and Shadow: Is this a shock to anyone? I should've read HoSaB sooner so I would be ready for this book now, but I overestimated by reading speed, so here we are. I hope to get to it before any spoilers start circulating.

Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries: I have more books on my physical TBR, but this is one of the lightest and I think I need that.

The Paladin's Shadow: 'Nough said. Anything by Tavia Lark is gold.

I love talking about books so much, so please do let me know what you're reading now, how you're feeling about it, what you'd like to pick up soon. It's always fun to me to discuss books, and I'd really like to talk more about them on my tumblr from now on. I still have it tagged rin reads if you want to filter that out though.

#rin reads #rick riordan #the sun and the star #under the whispering door #tavia lark #harry potter #hosab #book #books #booklr

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diahmandis · 1 year

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January 24 2023 (Tuesday)

Today I woke up early. I’m really trying to be a morning person now that face to face classes are about to make it’s awaited comeback. Ah yes, there was an actual reason why I woke up early — I had to do my sister’s project for biology which was to make sourdough bread. I thought it was going to be easy since I know how to bake, but breads are so much different than the other pastries I’ve been making over the last three years. To cut this segment short, I think I made it work, but that didn’t erase the fact that the bread tasted so awful — IT WAS SO SOUR (and no, just because it has sour in the name doesn’t mean it should taste that way!!!) The sourdough bread I’ve eaten from a bakery did not taste that way at all.

The day was slow, just like the previous days that have passed. Ever since I finished the semester, it seems as if I don’t have any driving force to make it through the day. I am literally so bored and because of that, I started updating my portfolio and resume. Huh. I guess my overworked self functions better than my vacation mode self. I also had a very intense existential crisis today, but I forced myself to continue where I left off in James Clear’s Atomic Habits and it made me feel a whole lot better. I swear this book answers EVERYTHING that I want to ask. It addresses the struggles I’m currently having as an adult in her early twenties, trying to go through the motions and figure out life.

The chapter that I read today also struck me hard — what kind of person do I really want to be? WHO do I want to be? It’s a question that only I can answer for myself. Right now, I do have thoughts of the person that I do want to be and although I still haven’t developed this identity yet, let me speak it into existence, manifest, and act on it until it eventually becomes who I am.

She is a kind and compassionate.

She’s very good at handling money, thus she’s rich.

She’s a girl boss — independent and intelligent.

She knows what she wants.

She’s a successful entrepreneur; the CEO of her own company — creative, hardworking, and organized.

She has her own place with a studio and everything she needs to fulfill her work as a young creative.

She’s happy. She’s contented. She’s right where she should be.

So far, I have been loving Atomic Habits. I wish I can buy the physical copy of the book soon. That is if I save enough money for it. Oh yeah, about that… I want to sell baked goods again so I could save up for the things I need this year — there are a LOT. I do hope I can achieve the goals I have set. But what’s more important, as Atomic Habits says, is that I come up with the right systems (processes) to achieve everything I’ve set for myself.

#2023 #diary

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knightoflodis · 1 year

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I guess we aren’t allowed to be frustrated when it comes to having trouble finding stories that we want. Like. Yeah. I get satisfaction from finding things I wasn’t exactly looking for. Doesn’t mean that I don’t feel frustration because I didn’t find what I was looking for. I still want certain kinds of stories. I am not going to stop wanting them. I am not going to stop looking for them. And I am going to voice my annoyance with how hard it can be to find those things. Also. Sometimes when I go looking for stories I don’t go looking for specifics. I just go looking. And then I find something (or maybe don’t). But I am not mentioning all that because we are talking about frustrations finding specific things and “being bad at finding books” if we can’t find any good books with a specific thing.

(And I have finally been finding and reading some manga in a niche that I have struggled to find good stuff for for a LONG time, wish that several of those in that niche had physical English copies because I want to own them)

#books #frustrations #rambling #ignore me

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alexisnoir · 2 years

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So like I just pre-ordered a book I wanted to get as an ebook but...

Okay so this title to non-polish readers will mean absolutely nothing. Let me give you a brief explanation. Mathie Rocks is an Wattpad author. Her original story Książe Mafii (translates to: Prince of Mafia) is a YA story that had over 2,5 million people that read it on Wattpad. It got so big that the author published the book and deleted it from Wattpad obviously.

The book is to be released in 7 days in Poland. So far it’s in polish language only but who knows, maybe she’ll get this book translated into English?

What is the book about?

Ava was desperate to find herself in the new school. No wonder she was furious, since no one had warned her not to mess with Samuel Weston, the boy who everyone wouldn’t even dream to mess with. So why did Ava stand up to him? Out of recklessness or an irrepressible desire to play with fire? Nobody pissed Ava off like Samuel. And she avoided Samuel so much as she sneaked through the halls of the new school. But for some reason the boy got on with her. And the girl was not going to bow to his contemptuous gaze. How much will she have to pay for words full of rebellion? Is the story of these two about hate? Or maybe about fascination? A stormy and dark story about the struggle of characters. And about the border between hatred and fascination. An emotional hurricane. A novel you cannot tear yourself away from.

So why did I buy this book in physical form instead of an ebook? Because I don’t believe the author will ever release the book in that form. One of her posts online was about people posting and downloading illegal copies of ebooks, so I base my opinion on that single post. She was pissed in that post, rightfully so but still as I am a reader who has Legimi and EmpikGo subscriptions I’d love to read that book on my inkBook e-reader. Maybe she’ll change her mind with time.

I normally don’t read books that were hyped on TikTok or Wattpad or Instagram, however this book has prologue and a bit of first chapter online for you to read so I did just that and got hooked. The news from people who got the book early for reviews saying there are no sex scenes at all in this book just gave me hope. I hate when authors less than in half a story send the characters into bed, especially if the story is: from enemies to lovers trope. I don’t mind romance however I hate bad written romance books. One book comes to mind especially: Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi. I hated the romance just speeding through in this story and the point of view - each chapter from different characters perspective. There was no chemistry between the characters in my opinion and the trope: from enemies to lovers was resolved way to quickly, like unnaturally so.

So yeah, another book to my collection, having my fingers crossed that this book will be at the very least a good read. I’m not really hyped for this book, I’m just curious.

#mathie rocks #książę mafii #wattpad #original novel #novel #book

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mikalara-dracula · 2 years

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Can I request headcanons about studying with shu,Yuma,Subaru and also about how would it be like to watch movies with Yuma...thanks a lot sugar🤗

📚 Studying with their s/o—

(ft. Shu, Yuma, and Subaru)

Warning: 18+ content below; don't read if you're a minor or aren't comfortable with slight NSFW. This is a fictional work and should not be taken seriously.

Caution: Unfortunately, Tumblr has a history of admins quarreling over completing carbon copy asks due to users sending the same request(s) to multiple admins, thus, resulting in unintentional plagiarism. With this, please DO NOT send the same request to multiple blogs as it can cause unintended plagiarism discord to other blogs across Tumblr. The word “plagiarism” stems from the early 17th-century Latin word, “plagiarius,” meaning “kidnapper.” So please, do not send in the same request to multiple blogs and make admins appear to be “kidnapping” other people’s work when it isn’t their intention. If this is to occur in any of my posts, please contact me so we can work something out.

Hi there!

Thank you so much for requesting! This was so much fun to write. I sincerely apologize that it took this long. I have linked your other request to this post as well. Hope you enjoy reading them. Feel free to request again anytime. :))

🍿 = Watching movies with Yuma

Shu:

📚 Okay, now, since when does he study??

📚 Like is this a joke, lmao?? xDD

📚 C’mon, it has to be, right?

📚 Well, for whatever reason he may have, he’s never going to study for himself unless he absolutely has to in the sense that he has to meet the bare minimum requirement for the school year—unless of course he really wants to re-repeat his third year.

📚 But when it comes to his s/o things are a little different, and by “a little,” I mean very little—like, there is almost no difference with his general motif.

📚 So, most of the time, you’re stuck studying on your own. It’s either this, or Shu’s always managing to distract and pull you away from studying. He does this by having you lay down or sit with him and making you lose track of time by either talking to each other or just dozing off.

📚 Believe it or not, he doesn’t mind helping you study if he’s in the mood to. As his s/o, you’re honestly the only one he will ever help when it comes to this because for him, this already requires a lot of effort’, so forget with anyone else.

📚 However, his help comes at a price every time.

📚 He’s not exactly the type that likes to be asked for help, so if you ask him, there’s a good chance that he’s going to deny and tell you it’s a waste of time and that you should be laying down next to him instead.

📚 Oh, this lazy fuck.

📚 If he does decide to help you, it’s rare if he agrees on a whim, he mostly likes to surprise you by simply joining you out of nowhere.

📚 (In the manga, he once just started tutoring Yui out of nowhere, so you can bet he’s going to do the same with you.)

📚 Despite his laziness, it’s important to note that he’s definitely smart—like, this mf knows more than anyone would think, he just hides it since he doesn’t care enough to put effort into school.

📚 You were in the middle of studying physics, a subject he’s quite good at (in the manga, he even studied it as a child), and the math problems were honestly getting the best of you. You were working them out but they weren’t matching the answers the book had and it was frustrating to say the least.

📚 Noticing your struggle, he sighed deeply from the nearby couch he was sleeping on and came over to the table you were studying at.

📚 “You’re still working on that?”

📚 “Yeah,” you’d sigh, still looking at the book full of example math problems. “and I still don’t get it.”

📚 Out of nowhere, while you’re still looking at the book in front of you, he’d take an end and slide it towards him so he could have a better look at it.

📚 With his usual hazy smirk, he’d comment looking at the material in front of him, “It’s not that hard.”

📚 “Says the guy who never studies.” You’d sass, feeling fed up with the subject. “Whatever, I doubt you can help.”

📚 And here is where he begins to explain things regarding the math formulas to prove you wrong about him not knowing anything.

📚 You were surprised by how much he knew since he was mentioning concepts regarding the formulas you were studying, but he stops explaining just before he was about to give you the answer on what to actually do.

📚 Ah, and I think one can expect what’s coming next xDD.

📚 “Go on, tell me. What do I have to do next?”

📚 “Mmm, what do you think you should do?” He’d tease.

📚 “Shu, this is no time for trick questions!”

📚 “What?” He’d say, attempting to play innocent.

📚 “If you’re not gonna help, I don’t need you.”

📚 “I can help you . . . but there’s a small price for my help.”

📚 Sighing and knowing you were limited on options when it came to getting help on this subject, “What is it?”

📚 Smirking, he’d offer, “A kiss for every explanation I give you.”

📚 But of course, this was only part of the deal he was revealing to you.

📚 And because you were desperate for help, you added, “Fine.”

📚 So, he’d begin explaining again and things actually started to make a little sense, but things were still fuzzy, even if he was telling you to refer back to the textbook to read a little more about certain concepts he was explaining, and this was just to reinforce it a bit better.

📚 (I mean, we all know textbooks suck at giving clear explanations sometimes—and this was one of those unfortunate times.)

📚 So with this, he encourages you to try out a problem with what he’s told you, but of course, you have to pay up for the knowledge he’s just given you.

📚 And of course, it only gets more interesting from here because to be honest, this is only the beginning of his endless antics.

📚 He’ll run his foot up and down your leg while you’re in the middle of reading something out of your textbook. If you’re wearing a long skirt or dress, he does it to get a glimpse of your legs, or at least feel them—plus, he gets a kick out of teasing you with his touch. And if you’re wearing a short loose skirt, he does it in hopes of seeing glimpses of your panties, at least, if his leg were to lift it high enough.

📚 Might move your hair out of your face while you’re reading or attempting to solve a math problem.

📚 Might poke your side every few minutes or so to make you jolt, which you scold him for because he’s distracting you.

📚 He literally lives for your reaction and finds it beyond amusing. To make things even worse, he sometimes denies that he’s poking you.

📚 Fucking ass.

📚 “Shu, stop it! I’m trying to study.”

📚 “Wasn’t me. You’re just imagining things.”

📚 Will so whisper lewd things into your ears while you’re reading or trying to figure something out.

📚 “Hm, y’know, you’d look a lot sexier if you were naked right now.” He’d say, leaving you to bury your embarrassed face into the nearby textbook.

📚 Might even derail you by getting into discussions about other things, which you end up falling into, but that’s until he brings up what you’re actually supposed to do.

📚 “Wait, aren’t you supposed to be studying?” He’d smirk.

📚 “You ass! You’re making me waste so much time!”

📚 He’d only laugh, leaving you to playfully hit him.

📚 Tries to make you mess up when you’re attempting a physics problem by whispering weird things into your ear.

📚 Like, if you’re talking yourself through the problem step by step and referring to your notes while doing so, he’ll add in something totally off/random or misleading to throw you off.

📚 And by any chance, if you repeat what he said because you’re so zoned out and end up realizing it, he has the biggest smirk on the face, leading you to scold him, which he ends up laughing at.

📚 He also listens to your heartbeat to see how it sounds and it does beat a little faster whenever he gets closer, and he purposely brings this up to throw you off.

📚 Omg! And if you’re studying Latin (it’s hinted at in one of the mangas that he knows it), he’s definitely going to take advantage of that fact in various ways.

📚 He’ll rectify your pronunciation if it’s off and teach you the stuff that’s a little fuzzy, however, when is it innocent and sincere with this narcoleptic?

📚 Will make you ‘accidentally’ kiss him—that is, while you’re in the middle of looking at something during your studying session, he’ll whisper something barely audible enough to hear, which leads you to turn and meet his lips with yours unexpectedly, an evident smirk on his face at your obviousness. Not that you mind the kiss, but you had to study otherwise you weren’t going to pass.

📚 “Shu, quit it! I can’t focus!”

📚 “Hmm, you say that yet your body says otherwise.” He’d smirk.

📚 You’d flush. “Shut up!”

📚 Will teach you new words in Latin, but he’s telling you the wrong definition of them and little do you know that you’re saying the dirtiest of words or phrases.

📚 I’m telling you, never trust a vampire.

📚 Might even tug at the waistband of your underwear or pull it and have it smack against your skin if it’s in his sight.

📚 “Shu!”

📚 “What? You’re the one showing it off.”

📚 “I’m not!”

📚 At times, you might ask him a question and not get an answer, only to turn and see that he’s fallen asleep.

📚 “Shu.” You’d say, giving his shoulder a nudge to wake up.

📚 "Nnn . . . what? . . .” he’d say stirring awake, soon realizing his reality. “Oh, we're still doing this?"

📚 You’d sigh in defeat, quickly going back to your work knowing he was no help at that moment.

📚 Might even graze his fangs over the surface of your neck or shoulder area just to tease you, or even bite you if he’s feeling thirsty. And if goosebumps rise, it only rials him up more.

📚 “Stop it! You’re so distracting.”

📚 “Hm, your body says otherwise.” He’d smirk, referring to the goosebumps on your skin.

📚 And after doing so many physics problems, you finally reached an epiphany and grasped the concept, jumping up out of your seat knowing you were able to.

📚 “Yes! I finally understand it!”

📚 “Is that so?” He’d coo. “Alright then.”

📚 And before you knew it, your back was pinned against the wooden table, Shu’s figure hovering above your own, an evident smirk on his face as he went towards your neck.

📚 “Shu, wait! You had it earlier.”

📚 “I need something to replenish all the energy I’ve wasted.”

Yuma:

📚 Well, in general, Yuma is okay with studying.

📚 He knows he has to do it in order to survive and pass the year, plus, he’s no slacker, so there’s no excuse for not doing work.

📚 However, he doesn’t prioritize studying above anything, especially when it comes to gardening.

📚 Whatever the case though, if he has to study, he gives it his best attempt even if he doesn’t fully understand it by the time he’s finished studying.

📚 “Well, it’s better than not trying.” He’d admit.

📚 He honestly doesn’t care if he fails, at least he knows that he did his part and tried his best.

📚 Though, when it comes to studying with his s/o, things are quite different.

📚 Mostly because he likes the idea of doing something with you.

📚 Messes a lot with your hair, such as ruffling it or playfully pulling it.

📚 Clutches your ass a lot, like even when you're about to sit down he'll have his hand resting on the chair, and since your not looking you'll sit on his hand and he'll just grope you through your skirt.

📚 When you're at school and you have a skirt on, it makes it more dangerous.

📚 Because it doesn't matter where you are, he's going to put his hand up your skirt no matter what.

📚 At some point, because you have come to know what he's like and what he's bound to do, you wore shorts underneath your skirt once and he was so annoyed.

📚 "You gotta be kidding me?!"

📚 Will bring plenty of snacks to your study area and tries to feed them to you.

📚 He usually brings stuff from his garden since it's nutritious. Plus, he’s the one who grew the stuff, so he takes extra pride in having you eat it.

📚 “Eat it, it’s good.” He’d say, handing you a bowl of baby carrots. You're grateful for the gesture, but this wasn’t really what you wanted, your appetite craving something sweet or salty.

📚 “It looks delicious, Yuma, but I kinda wanted something else.”

📚 “Hah?! What else could my little pig want?”

📚 “Well… I kinda wanted some [favorite junk food].”

📚 “That’s not healthy! My little pig should only be eating good food, not that shit!”

📚 “But, Yuma-,”

📚 “No buts!” He’d insist.

📚 You’d go back to your studying, eating some of the carrots in the bowl. A little while passed by and he soon came back with your favorite snack, a smile appearing on your face.

📚 “Here.” He’d say, handing it to you.

📚 “Thanks, Yuma.”

📚 He’d sigh, “Don’t mention it—but you can’t have it all the time. It’s not the best thing for my little pig . . . but I’ll let it slide this time.”

📚 Sometimes, though, you eat the veggies he brings since you want to make him happy, but the problem is he brings too much at times, especially when he’s harvested a lot of produce if it’s the season.

📚 "Yuma, I can't eat all this."

📚 "Hey, studying is hard. I can't have my little pig dying on me."

📚 “Yuma, people don’t die from over-studying, but they can from eating.”

📚 He doesn't like taking breaks because he feels that you're both slacking off.

📚 "Yuma, it's okay to take breaks while studying."

📚 "That's what slackers do. I can’t stand half-assed shit. Let’s just finish so we’re done."

📚 Will grab you out of nowhere and just bite you without warning, just cuz.

📚 "Yuma, you had it earlier."

📚 "So? I need it to help my little pig study."

📚 "I never even asked for your help!"

📚 Feeds you sugar cubes if you're really struggling on a subject, and tricks you into giving it to you mouth-by-mouth.

📚 If you're studying something like history, he's going to tell you about the time period if he actually witnessed it (I mean, he's centuries-old so he's gone through multiple eras in history).

📚 But sometimes, if he wants to tease you, he lies about even being in a certain time period or makes up scenarios he never experienced—it’s mostly because he likes to brag in a teasing way.

📚 This cocky mf.

📚 And because you know him well enough, you know better than to believe him since he’s just teasing to get a reaction out of you.

📚 “Y’know, did I ever tell you about the time I was in the Revolutionary War?” He’d grin.

📚 “Yuma, you’re just making things up again.”

📚 “No, I ain’t. It’s true!”

📚 At some point, he'll get fed up with you sitting beside him while studying, so he'll just pick you up from your seat and set you on his lap.

📚 "Yuma, you can't just place me where you want all the time!"

📚 As you were sitting on his lap like he wanted, you were explaining something you had read in order to reinforce it into your memory, plus, Yuma had to know because he was studying the same thing

📚 And during the time you explain something, he usually just braids your hair cause he's not listening and is bored.

📚 When you realize this you'll stop explaining and turn your body halfway to look at him. "Hey, are you even listening to me?"

📚 "Am I what, little pig?" He'd smirk putting his hands on your waist, turning you to have you face him, straddling you in the process.

📚 "Yuma, you haven't been listening to a word I’ve said."

📚 Of course, you didn't pay much attention to his actions since you were upset but you'd later regret that you didn't.

📚 "Yeah, I have." He'd respond with a smug look on his face as you were still annoyed.

📚 "Y’know if you don't want to study, you could just be honest."

📚 "Hell no! Otherwise, I'll end up like that Sakamaki asshole that never does anything."

📚 "Then at least listen when I explain something to you." You'd look at him still upset.

📚 "Damn, didn't know my little pig could get so angry." He’d grin.

📚 You felt something brush against your leg, your eyes widening as you felt taken back by his words and how a certain part of him was reacting.

📚 “Would you- nevermind, I'm leaving!” You’d say, getting off his lap as you’d stalk away.

📚 "What? You're leaving?"

📚 "Yeah, I am!"

📚 "Why?"

📚 "Because you're being weird!" You'd say, not wanting to explicitly say it.

📚 "What? It's not my fault he likes you too." He’d tease.

📚 "Stop! Don't bring it up!"

Subaru:

📚 *sighs* Well, he’s not much help in this department, mostly because he doesn’t have the best performance at school to begin with.

📚 He tries, he really does—but he gets very frustrated with the idea of studying, mostly because he’s always being pestered by Ayato or Laito.

📚 But when he’s with his s/o, it becomes easier for him to study since he can remain focused.

📚 Well, maybe not too focused because your beauty catches him off guard and leaves him flustered, but nevertheless, he actually gets things done when he studies with you.

📚 However, despite the studying, it’s honestly 50-50 in the sense that 50% of the time he’s studying, but the other 50% consists of him teasing you.

📚 And it’s honestly never-ending since he loves to do it.

📚 While studying, he’ll pretend to drop his pen/pencil and he’ll get down to get it under the table, but this is an excuse to look at your legs, and even get a chance to bite them, especially the calves.

📚 Fuckass, like I-

📚 He literally loves the reaction you give when he does this.

📚 Might try to touch or cup your boobs while you’re busy reading.

📚 Might slip his hand in between your thighs just to throw you off—this is honestly such a game to him.

📚 He might go silent for a little while if he’s reading or trying to figure something out, so you’ll sneak a glance to see what he’s doing. Since he feels a gaze on him, he’ll turn to look at you, leaving you to avert your gaze, and this honestly goes back and forth for a while without a word being said, the atmosphere tense.

📚 Will stare at you while you’re busy reading or doing something else that relates to studying, and because you’re so engrossed in your work, it gives him the ultimate excuse to look at you. He just finds your focused face so amusing.

📚 If you’re studying something like the human reproductive system, he’s going to be an ass about it.

📚 He’s so going to make the dirtiest of jokes to make you blush or laugh.

📚 Through looking at a diagram of the male reproductive system, there was honestly so much to memorize and understand, it feeling very overwhelming.

📚 “This is so hard!” You complain. “This is why boys are complicated!”

📚 And because you two were studying such a system, there was no way you were going to escape this without his commentary.

📚 “Say what you want, but I know mine’s bigger.” He’d smirk, pointing to the diagram.

📚 “Shut up!”

📚 If you guys end up taking a break, he likes to use this time as a quick session to replenish his thirst, his fangs either piercing the skin of your neck or collarbone.

📚 And if he gets you to moan, it’s a plus, it really stirs him up.

📚 While you’re reading, he might even rest his face in the crook of your neck just to see what you’re doing.

📚 Like Shu, he’ll listen and tease you about whether your heartbeat is fast when he’s close.

📚 Subaru also likes to pull your bra strap just to get you to jolt so he can see your reaction.

📚 "Subaru, quit it!"

📚 "Heh, who told you to show it to me?" He'd tease.

📚 "Ass! You know I wasn't trying to."

📚 "Uh-huh, sure."

📚 Tries to pull your sleeve down just to throw you off, and if it's a loose shirt and he manages to pull it down far enough, it gives him the excuse to get a peek of your boobs.

📚 He might drink from your shoulder or upper arm if he feels like it then and there.

📚 If you guys are having a snack while studying, he tries to aim and throw his snack in your boob area, and if he gets it to fall in, he's going to be a teasing ass about it.

📚 If by any chance you're having a popsicle for a snack, he lowkey observes how you lick it, which gives him the lewdest of ideas.

📚 Noticing his gaze and how he was looking at you, you'd playfully hit him. "Pervert!"

📚 During all that studying tho, he's bound to procrastinate at some point. And here, he might take the opportunity to send gross shit to your phone, or even shirtless photos of him to throw you off just cuz he sucks like that.

📚 Picking up your phone, you of course would see the text is from him and thought it was weird considering he was sitting right next to you, but you decided to check it anyways, either facepalming or hiding your face depending on what he sent, leaving him to only laugh at your reaction.

234 notes · View notes

shijiujun · 3 years

Text

on the danmei twitter fight

okay guys i didn’t wanna say anything about this and yes it’s that hot danmei twitter translations saga thing that’s going on, because honestly i feel like there’s nothing much to say but when i see dumb posts on tumblr taking about that, by people who present a misleading hot take and their friends or moots run off with it without even knowing what exactly is going on - it really pisses me off.

and also if you shit talk translators for not continuing their translations or locking their translations whatever - the door is that way on your right and left, but anyway here’s a rundown on what happened because i am seeing people make comments without two brain cells put together, without the slightest bit of consideration for the people who bring them translations

here’s my hot take and thesis: if you enjoy english translations made by fan translators, you don’t, in any way, no matter happens, shit talk fan translators. fan translators do this for free, and whatever their intentions are, whether genuine sharing or like some of you like to say, for clout, if you consume, and you enjoy these translations, i’m sorry, you’re not uninvolved, and you don’t get to sit on a high horse and say translators should or shouldn’t do something. you should just keep quiet, honestly, because someone else is doing you a favour, a favour that you are enjoying and taking. that’s what respect is.

i’m presenting both sides or i guess three sides of the story as objectively as i can, altho my support is still for fan translators who were just minding their own business before this blew up.

===

🔺 what happened:

so it started because one of the bigger translators in the fandom did this poll - i’m not blaming her at all, i doubt she had any intentions of shaming anyone or causing any controversy and was plain curious, but her poll asked english speaking danmei twitter how many people buy the digital, print copies of the danmei they read, and who did not.

in my honest opinion, it’s not strange at all for her to have created that poll, considering just how much work she’s put into making sure things are accessible for the eng-speaking danmei fandom. i mean i’d be curious too, to know out of my thousands of readers, what the reading and buying behaviour is like. do yourself a favour and don’t read too much into it.

obviously in an era where a lot of people do consume content for free whether the underlying content is profit-making (like anime, donghua, manhua, manga etc.) or not (fanfiction etc.), it was unsurprising to see that the last option - the ones who consume danmei without paying a single cent, came out as the majority. i don’t think this is a surprising result at all, for all sorts of reasons that i will not get into now.

anyway, this is obviously kind of a sore point in the fandom especially for translators who want a wider audience to support their fave author’s works - i won’t get into that for now, but the issue began because other translators or fans started to criticize the majority of people who don’t pay for objectively rather affordable danmei and just consume things for free.

and yes, i don’t deny that the argument on both sides got really heated and emotionally charged with both sides calling each other names which i believe is uncalled for, but it totally derailed the crux of the issue, which basically is that the majority of english-speaking danmei fandom - consumes danmei for free.

anyway this whole thing escalated and fan translators were brought into this for no fucking reason at all except that the people who didn’t want, or were unable to pay for the danmei they usually consume, made what i call a LOGICAL FALLACY in argument by going to the extremes, i will explain why later.

the end result is that fan translators were brought into this (most of them, the bigger ones i know at least) without even participating in the direct crossfire. and obviously, you can see why they’re hurt and decided to lock their translations. let me explain why

===

🔺 kind of like four camps:

(1) translators and fans who criticized those who consume danmei liberally but do not pay for them in any way - no merch, no digital copies, no physical copies, no audio dramas whatever

*** their arguments:

danmei is so cheap right, that technically people should be able to pay for it in one way or another, even if not all

danmei and its authors are, at the end of the day, out here to earn a living, and the industry, like any money-making industry, is a for-profit enterprise - and unlike public goods, if you cannot afford danmei, then there is no obligation for others to make it free for you (fan translators or otherwise, it wasn’t super clearly stated while this shitshow happened) when it is inherently a for-profit industry

yes, i don’t deny that some of them did call the peeps who don’t pay at all, “leeches” and other sort of names. personally, i wouldn’t go that far or even like venture there to be honest because in general, if it’s something that i’ll get punched in the face for if i called someone that in real life i tend not to do it, but i’ll leave my opinions, whatever they’re worth, for later

(2) the readers and fans of danmei who do not pay in any sort of way for them

*** their arguments:

some of them really cannot afford, even the dollar or more, to spend on danmei for several reasons: upbringing, culture, money-spending mindsets, real poverty, struggling to make ends meet etc. - some definitely more valid than others (and when i say not valid, it’s because SOME, a minority or like those few stragglers, say they cannot afford and then you see them like idk, throwing $50 on other merch on kpop and stuff - i’m just bringing up ONE example. not shaming anyone for spending more money on one aspect rather than the other, but yeah you can see why some of them, when making this same argument, are a little invalid, that’s just a small number of them tho)

if translators are blaming them for consuming free of charge, then the fault lies, at its foundation, fan translators who translate illegally, which i mean, in that definition, all of them including me

did i mention that we were called illegal translators like you know in response to being called leeches? anyway-

(3) others translators who literally were just minding their own fucking business before some smart alec dragged them into it

i don’t think most of us had an argument. we were just quietly munching on popcorn and staying out of it and yeah, can you imagine, we provide a service, however illegal it is, for free on our own time, we don’t even check whether people support legally or not, we just... provide, and pray that those who are able to, at least support in some small way or another do so, on their own time. i mean i don’t check, most of us don’t, not the bouncers at your local club before COVID happened do, and then suddenly, to be used to derail an argument, we were called illegal translators. and that we should stop translating, and that it is our fault that there are free riders in the fandom

(4) people who offered to provide JJWXC credits to those who said they couldn’t afford it etc.

honestly i think they were just trying to help - no different than a gofundme. there’s no shame in taking a free thing that people already weren’t intending to pay for. it’s there, just take it!

===

🔺 the shitshow that led to fan translators locking their stuff up:

i would provide some actual examples in the form of screenshots but i’ve blocked most of them, and i don’t want to direct any sort of traffic to them so i guess you’ll have to take my word on it or go search on twitter yourself but-

(1) the affordability issue: i can understand the frustration at being called leeches, and some if not a majority of people, do have valid reasons for not being able to afford something or anything and end up pirating content they enjoy. hey, i am not about to crucify anyone for pirating at some point in their lives. we all have done it at some point, or for example hate disney+ and that $30 they were trying to rip off us for a subpar Mulan live action. i don’t have anything to say about that. inherently, is it wrong and illegal? yeah sure of course it is. do we call people leeches? i wouldn’t go that far.

if anyone cannot afford, cannot access for whatever reason, fine, i’m not gonna go check if jjwxc truly is banned in your country, or is your postal service so terrible that you definitely won’t be able to receive a hard copy of the book you like at affordable rates.

and if you have to pirate? go ahead. i mean it’s always been a rampant thing. the only thing fan translators and fans can do is encourage, motivate and incentivise as much as possible to get people to support legally. they can only put up REALLY COMPREHENSIVE guides as to how to access jjwxc or taobao or whatever.

and if you still cannot afford it and pirate, honestly no one cares about the story behind it. you owe no one justification, just as how no other person is obligated to take it into consideration or understand you or empathize with you. i don’t say this in a malicious way - i do think that in general, you just do you.

(2) the poor people don’t deserve nice things argument: honestly, this was not the point of this entire debacle, altho yes, people were rude to those who could not afford to support legally. but this is not the point of this whole thing.

main point - there are free riders who can support but choose not to because they choose to just consume it for free and if you are able to you should support

everyone going off on a tangent - you guys hate poor people / you guys are leeches

well guess what, no one wins in this argument.

there were a lot of people saying “reading danmei is our only source of happiness, are you saying poor people who can’t access legally don’t deserve to read danmei” (this is just one example i’ve seen, there are other variations), and it wasn’t put across perhaps in the right way, but the other camp of people were saying “you’re not entitled to it for free if you cannot afford it”, which raised a lot of hackles and anti-poor yellings

altho i do not deny that there are those who mean it maliciously, i think what everyone is trying to say is - the danmei industry, like any other profit-making industry, is looking to make profits. the people working in the industry, the authors even, are looking at numbers - traffic to jjwxc or other legal platforms, how much revenue they’re making from their live actions etc., comments, rankings, etc. i think @/hunxi-after-hours made a really succinct post on this aspect which yall should read.

it’s the same as - if you wanted to purchase a standee which costs $20 USD, but you cannot afford it = you don’t get it. there’s no way you can get this standee unless some gifts it to you for free. what the camp trying to ask people to support legally is saying, is that danmei is NOT A PUBLIC GOOD. it is a private, for-profit product. it might be intangible, but it is a PRODUCT that has a price that needs to be paid.

if you cannot afford it, you either don’t get access entirely (i’m saying this objectively and honestly from an economic standpoint). if someone gifts that standee to you for free, count yourself lucky - if someone makes a danmei accessible to you for free, COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY. you don’t have to be grateful and treat them as gods or like obey their every word, but it’s not rocket science. someone did you a favour that you accepted and consumed, show some respect.

if you cannot afford to buy the standee - you do not go on twitter demanding that someone ensures that you have access to the standee for free. do you see how ridiculous this sounds once it’s a tangible product? and danmei novels ARE PRODUCTS. they are not FREE CONTENT. if someone cannot afford the standee, this is the equivalent of people going “we didn’t get the standee for free because poor people don’t deserve nice things”

totally missing the point. i don’t even know how it got to this. once again, i do admit that some users were unnecessarily mean, but going to the extreme of this is ridiculous. in argumentative essay writing we call this a logical fallacy:

e.g. “if you cannot pay for merchandise or danmei, it is a fact that you might not have access to it” morphing into “if we cannot pay for food, does this mean we cannot have access to it?!” - this is a slippery slope, and factors are not equivalent!!!! do they not teach people anything in school

don’t confuse fanfiction with danmei - danmei novels ARE PAID PRODUCTS unless for free chapters, just because it’s released online doesn’t mean it’s free public property, and also selected novels (did you guys know the WHOLE of SCI novel is free? about 500 chapters sorry, random, just a tidbit)

there are of course nuances right, like if anyone told me they were pirating disney+ content i’d be like yeah hey get one over those bloodsuckers, they take enough of our money and produce shit content anyway. the difference is that danmei authors, and the danmei industry itself can still be considered a nascent and not-yet matured industry, with a majority of authors if not all, depending on monetary flow, likes, comments, virality on the sites their content is hosted on, for a living, unlike hugeass MNCs trying to squeeze us dry for content that isn’t even interesting.

danmei is priced rather reasonably - and this brings me to another argument that was made, that the value of money is not the same for everyone. i don’t want to make comments on this because yes this is correct to a large extent. a $6 book might be cheap to most of us, but might be expensive to someone else. i’m not gonna comment on how cheap or whatever it is, if you gotta use your money for other things, definitely! i still maintain however, that a novel less than a dollar should be affordable to most people, a majority of people. and i definitely side eye some users who obviously have money but are just creating noise because they wanna continue free-riding

(4) the “they’re losing out on their international audience” argument: honestly, i feel like english-speaking danmei fandom gives themselves a bit too much credit. danmei has long thrived in china in its domestic market - sure the international audience is a plus to have and i’m sure the authors are grateful and flattered that people who don’t understand chinese love their content and love it a lot, but do they and their companies care about fans who basically don’t bring in money? i’m not sure (okay i’ll get to the fan translators doing illegal shit later okay i got it don’t be impatient)

and international fans are great, i don’t deny that - but when i see arguments like “oh but it’s their loss if they don’t cater or deny access to us, they get more popularity and sharing overseas”, i honestly think they don’t care as much as you think. once again, hunxi made a really good argument regarding non-sinophone audiences, but it really irks me, because this is the same as:

an instagram influencer saying they’ll give a restaurant exposure for free to their followers, if they get a free meal

it’s par for par - danmei authors wants earnings, popularity, tangible results that show that they are succeeding. this is life. if i put something out there for sale, i better be getting returns, simple economic logic. they probably don’t care that a non-paying reader is bringing them greater ‘exposure’ - once again, i mean this objectively.

and yes if they’re thriving without the international market then why should it matter that people are pirating right? which brings me to the next point~

(5) it’s fan translators faults for so many people pirating, and fan translators are the ones doing the “illegal” work: this one is like... wow where do i unpack this and how-

firstly, we are talking about assholes who can pay but decide to free ride and not pay for danmei, and we assume that if you really cannot afford and have to pirate, no one’s saying anything as long as you don’t go around spreading how to pirate, how the hell did it get to fan translators from “you guys are anti-poor” and whatever

yes, fan translations are indeed illegal, i don’t deny that, and i also don’t deny that there are translators who translate for clout and popularity but putting these aside - here’s what i have seen from people who ran their mouths and made this argument

“if you guys care about us pirating the book so much than fan translators shouldn’t have translated in the first place” and “if you wanna come after us for reading illegally, then fan translators, you guys should go get the copyright for the book and then translate it cuz what you guys are doing is also illegal”

hooooo i’m telling ya, i am all for translators locking up their translations at this point. see how fucking hurtful that is? you eat from my hand and then now you biting at the hand that fed you the gays in love?

honestly if you’ve made this argument or supported this, you can basically go to hell. yes this is personal because what, you think fan translators don’t take out their personal time and effort and hard work to make translations accessible to you? if you’re ever consumed and read translations, don’t be a hypocrite and make this argument. you benefitted from it, now you wanna say it’s their fault?

most translators want to share and spread the love they have for a novel right, want to show you how wonderful all these authors are, how much enjoyment u get from reading these wonderfully thought out stories of gays in love. yes we all know we are illegally translating, which is why on top of sharing we first, purchase the novels legally ourselves first, and then we try to encourage people to buy etc. and actually put their money to use. it doesn’t make it any less illegal, but we are bridging the gap between danmei and basically the english-speaking fandom, albeit illegally

we aren’t that self-important to ask for gratefulness but some respect would be nice. like i said, you read it, you consumed it, you enjoyed it, you can only access it because of illegal translators - a bit counter-intuitive to yell at these translators, who are simply telling you, if you can, please support. and none of us went “if you cannot afford, begone!”

===

🔺 some people tried to help by offering jjwxc credits so people who cannot afford as they say, can get legal access: honestly, just take it right, guess what some of these users did in response

they said the people giving away credits are trying to redeem themselves for their comments by giving away free stuff

they also said that we are trying to shame the people who cannot afford it with this handout to them, to show that they are the bigger person - the fact that they think this is a handout to them is TELLING. the people offering this is giving their money not to these readers, but to the authors! that’s the point of this exercise!!!

one of them even said “instead of trying to do these giveaways, here, there are greater world problems out there, donate instead to these causes” - love the initiative, but how did we get from being able to afford danmei and entertainment content to saving the world? i just- i cannot

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🔺 so why i get why fan translators are locking up their translations, because wow, so hurtful:

you have no idea how many fucking assholes went “sure, lock up your translations, deal with the consequences” - ermmmm firstly, thanks for making a threat. like who the fuck do you think you are?

the consequences is... the authors still don’t get the money these free riders weren’t going to give them anyway, so no loss, and they weren’t reading on jjwxc anyway so you know, the authors don’t lose or gain any readership numbers or traffic they didn’t already have. instead, it WILL push and force people to pay for the PRODUCT. once again, it’s a product.

this works, and i’d say Word of Honor’s payment model worked marvellously for Youku, because they fucking forced everyone to pay to access content. ALL OF THEM. sure ok some people still pirated it, but how many MORE people paid on Youku, on Youku Youtube, watched on Viki etc. than if they didn’t? even english-speaking fandom were wracking their brains trying to purchase a Youku pass even if there were no subs initially - and other examples that lovely hunxi brought up in her amazing piece

and for translators?! honestly me for one, i’m glad i don’t feel pressured anymore to churn out a chapter every week since we get called names etc. most of us are glad to have a break to be honest. we’ve lost all motivation to translate because it’s a free service, at the very least we don’t expect like hate, or rudeass fuckers. for those who are doing a proof of purchase thing - go for it honestly!

hopefully it’ll minimize the free rider problem - some people for whatever reasons really cannot buy or support legally, that’s totally cool and they don’t have to justify it, i get that. but for others making the same argument but obviously are just unwilling to pay because they can’t read chinese, think it’s too troublesome when there are guides and translators provide it for free anyway so what’s the point - we all make concessions and make decisions to grab what we like (not talking about the ppl who have their various troubles and difficulties!)

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🔺 and those who are saying why is it the ‘rest of us suffer’ from locked translations just because of a few bad apples:

IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU. where the hell were all of ya when we were getting called illegal huh? it’s about us fan translators getting shot at for no reason, and then people still demanding things for free. i don’t see any of the people i’ve seen on tumblr complain about fan translators stopping or locking translations defend any of us in any way. instead, you’re complaining.

it is the translator’s prerogative to start, stop and end translations, unless of course the original author starts to sue i suppose. i see people on tumblr going like if they were gonna do this, they shouldn’t have started in the first place etc. - i don’t what world you live in, but when i do something for free, then get called names and am attacked or get dictated on how i should do something that’s already like free, i tend to be less generous.

i’m sorry, do us illegal and free translators owe ANY OF YOU? i wasn’t aware any of us were being paid for this hobby. readers, especially those who CAN and just refuse to support, don’t get to say SHIT. translators deal with so much shit and so many entitled readers, i say they get to lock whatever they want as long as they aren’t profiting off of this monetarily.

let me give you an example - nan chan, which is translated by lian yin, completed translations by the way for all chapters. it is all free for viewing, and she only locked up one extra and asked for proof of payment. some dumbfuck quotes that locked up extra chapter tweet and said “honestly, this turned me off reading this novel because they restricted access”.

the. fucking. entitlement. the whole of nan chan is free, that’s like what more than 80 chapters. she locked up the EXTRA and the money goes to the author, she doesn’t earn anything. AND HERE THAT BIJ is (yes, i’m going to call them names because you know, fucking asshole who didn’t bother to check) going “yeah i didn’t wanna read because 1/80+ chapters were locked”.

AN EXTRA. LITERALLY AN EXTRA!!!!!!

at the end of the day, translators are not like DYING to translate, not like some of you are DYING to read the translations. once again, this isn’t a “BE GRATEFUL” message, it’s a please be respectful to the people who put in time and hard work for free and share the goodness ya know? what’s the use of yelling at fan translators as if we owe you anything?

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🔴🔴🔴 TOO LONG DIDN’T READ 🔴🔴🔴

some people may need really need to pirate - and no one needs to justify why they cannot afford to purchase etc. pirating happens all the time, translators only hope that when you can, and in whatever way you can, to support legally - in general we don’t ask and we get it! we’re just annoyed that some people think that it SHOULD BE FREE, when it is a paid product, especially for those who CAN afford it

readers are not entitled to shit on translators for what they do with their translations - once again, you’re not OBLIGATED to have it. so what if i start and stop? i’m the one doing the work, i get the only say. don’t be a hypocrite and shit on translators, whose works you’ve read - it’s no loss for translators, we read and enjoy danmei just fine

yes, fan translations are illegal, but you can’t read and enjoy them like some of you have, and then turn around and point the finger at translators - a lot of us are happy to stop translating - this isn’t a threat, but at the end of the day, shitting on translators simply decreases access, and sure, some people can indeed live with you know, MTL or shitty translations from people who’ve learnt chinese for only six months or whatever, but you’re gonna be reading an entirely different book tbh

the people saying illegal translators are at fault - funnily enough, most of them consume the translations, so what the fuck? i mean we know it’s illegal, we’re trying to share the love and trying to minimize the illegalities of it by redirecting people to hopefully support legally. it’s still illegal yes, but i think it’s hypocritical for people who have read translations, stab translators in the back. and now that translators are indeed ‘restricting’ and ‘removing’ their ‘illegal translations’, yall yelling again? and threatening?

fan translators aren’t “elitist” or “classist” - just looking for some respect in a community which seems to have taken them for granted, and also looking for support for their fave authors - and honestly a lot of us were caught in the crossfires truly, don’t be an asshole and demand things from fan translators - who are you talking about? do you know why they decided to lock? do you know know what their locking system is like and what for?

it’s not EASY to lock the translations up - it’s more admin work, it’s putting together a whitelist of people, if given the choice i’m sure translators would prefer to share everything. but not when there are assholes who have a comment on how they should translate etc. and yeah!!! calling us illegal!! i mean we are but still!!

the last straw was seeing that post on tumblr and people in the comments going like fan translators shouldn’t or should do something, without getting the whole picture, without even considering how hard it is for fan translators being caught in this situation.

whoever puts in the work gets to decide, and everyone else should leave them alone.

be nice to the people who really cannot afford as they say so (or just don’t think about it), be nice to the translators feeding you content, and the people who free ride and shit on translators - honestly, i’d say ready the pitchforks.

edit: i forgot to mention this is my hot take and i’ve tried to like present all the arguments i’ve seen so far. i’m definitely not doing all of it justice and i don’t claim to speak on behalf of any of them except maybe one or two- and i’ve definitely left out stuff, but anyway, lmao we’re just tiny people doing what we love. i wish we could solve you know inequality or poverty or hunger or other pressing concerns. if i was that great i wouldn’t be stuck on tumblr or twitter or have to make posts like these like a loser.

thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#danmei #danmei twitter #rambles #long post #literally cannot take the stupidity of some people anymore

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