fatblerdbeyond-official

[fatblerdbeyond-official]

I'm back after a very strong crisis where I ended becoming a victim of substance abuse. Long story short, it started with peer pressure as a preteen to my teenage years and then I ended up falling in love with someone who rejected me, only to have me chase after him for years.

I remember years ago I said I loved him and that I was willing to sacrifice my dreams for him. God only knows that was part of why I did nothing for years. It seemed like puppy love from my perspective yet I was lost and chaotic most of my life.

In September 2018, I found out that the person I loved was married to someone else. My soul was filled with so much pain that I tried to kill myself with a lot of pm pills. I believe it was actually 16 or 20 pm tablets I took and it made me feel highly creative, something I tried to accomplish many times because I wanted to start my dream job.

Well, it continued for eight to nine years and I was not willing to stop, only for the possibility of my thyroid being infected due to both allergy relief pills and pm pills I kept taking so much. I think my addiction caused a reaction the moment I took my Invega injection twice.

Long story short on that, I eventually decided to quit and seek help. It was no one else's fault but my own.

How do I manage to get through this, I don't know. I just hope I can learn to forgive myself and love myself again.

#my life #substance abuse #i am still learning #heart been broke so many times

[fatblerdbeyond-official]

Last night on October 17th this year, I went to see Jrock star Miyavi in DowntownChicago. This would be my first time going to a concert as an adult, since I bought at least one ticket.

Unfortunately, I was unable to get a VIP ticket as I was too late. Otherwise, I would have met Miyavi in person.

[fatblerdbeyond-official]

Celebrating my sister's 36th birthday at Kusanya Cafe. Happy birthday Brittany.

#birthday #happy birthday #birthday party #kusanya cafe

[fatblerdbeyond-official]

And this why young men should just admit that they're getting the wrong idea about how to treat young women, especially from other guys who think they can do whatever they want to any girl and expect everything to be okay in the end, when the truth is that it's not okay to toy with a girl's heart especially if she likes you. The same goes for anyone else who tries something like that towards someone who is vulnerable while experiencing teenhood or young adulthood. It's not okay.

The Craft showed me that it's never okay to treat people the way you think they should be treated. And I've been a huge fan of this movie since it first aired on television.

Thank you so much to the person who shared the gif of Nancy from the movie. I don't think I will have kids in the future, but if I do then I plan to share The Craft with them because sharing films from the past is important. And what matters is remembering the past so that we could lead towards a better future for everyone.

Fairuza Balk as NANCY DOWNS The Craft (1996) dir. Andrew Fleming

#the craft #like i always said this part was acted she really did kill that guy #nancy downs #nancy downs deserved better

[fatblerdbeyond-official]

My mom cooked Mexican Style Cheeseburger and Macaroni Hamburger Helper mixed with chili tomatoes. We got this idea from me thinking about mixing chili with Mac and cheese together.

It was a delicious combination with my mom's help. We will do this again in the near future.

#cooking #hamburger helper #mexican style

[fatblerdbeyond-official]

It's official, this just proves that my love life is part yaoi and bl.

Midoriya, please be careful  Patreon + Ko-fi

#it took me so long to find this again .. i was trying to make a point to a friend #i miss u bkdk art circa 2018 / animated deku vs kacchan 2 #i luvvv new bkdk fan art with their new dynamic especially bc it's actually objectively nice for once LOL but #something about old bkdk art just explodes my braincells harder than normal. given how the ship was portrayed back in the day #toxic doomed codependent yaoi to the max #ANYWAY. OP UR BKDK NEVER MISSES I HOPE SOMEDAY U DRAW THEM AGAIN. NO PRESSURE. BUT. GAWD #reblogging this so i can revisit it easier than scrolling endlessly thru my likes #bakudeku #reblog #not my art #yaoi bl #yaoi #my love language #my love life

[fatblerdbeyond-official]

The Fabled Rose, old world style fairytale jewelry and art

One of my favorite jewelry stores that was originally known as The Vintage Angel is now known as The Fabled Rose.

I bought some jewelry from this store before and I plan to buy some more again when I get the chance.

I recommend this to anyone interested in jewelry that reminds you of the Old World and the Victorian Era.

#jewelry #jewellery #jewelry shop #jewelry store #old world #victorian #victorian jewelry #vintage look #jewelry art

[fatblerdbeyond-official]

#words of truth #words of wisdom #social media

[fatblerdbeyond-official]

Here's something you probably didn't know about me: I'm goth and I have been since my teenage years in high school. So I've been interested in wearing goth clothes for a long time. I have a very strong knack for wanting to dress some of my characters in gothic clothing, especially when it comes to being dressed in victorian goth clothes.

I resonate with being a corporate goth, victorian goth, pastel goth, cyberpunk goth, alternative goth and dressing up in Gothic Lolita clothes.

Perhaps I can add being an Elizabethan goth as well.

If I ever get a chance to star in a fantasy drama series, I want to be dressed in gothic clothes.

#gothgoth #alternative goth #goth #gothic #plus goth #corporate goth

[fatblerdbeyond-official]

I will add a third and fourth love interest to Regina Lordwell's love life.

Inspired by this article, I have chosen to post about Regina Lordwell's 2 romances in the Harmonizer story known as Harmony Dreadful.

Here are the 2 romantic love interests of the Millennium Harmonizer:

1. Aria Dreyfus - As one of the primary members of Shadowhound and a special ops agent working for the Orsean Government, Aria also codenamed as Red Fox is one of the most powerhouses in the Harmoniverse. She is also one of the most important people in Regina's life, especially when they begin their romantic relationship as teenagers during junior year of high school. Of course, there is also the time when Regina becomes Ethan Lane's girlfriend, but Aria doesn't stop loving her regardless. Aria is technically one of Regina's soulmates and she means it towards every other person who tries to steal her from Regina. You could say she's a bit like Mara Jade Skywalker from the Star Wars novels.

Ethan Lane - Not exactly your average boy next door type of heartthrob, but this Erien-Orsean (Irish-American) immigrant turned wizard slash druid slash exorcist is a triple threat to both human and otherworldly opponents even though he only targets the supernatural. Ethan was born in Erie before his family moved to Orsea to escape political indoctrination by force, so it wasn't easy for him getting used to the harsh reality regarding his country becoming part of the conservative agenda. It didn't help that living in Orsea would make things difficult for Ethan as a teenager living in Lincoln Harbor as a kid. And then he met Regina Lordwell and her friends and relatives and things changed for him. Ethan became enthralled with the world of the supernatural, also having discovered his own powers thanks to defending his mother and family who were being abused by Ethan's father who was an alcoholic. Ethan and Regina became a couple as teenagers before they both graduated from high school. Now as an adult, Ethan lives between Juno City and Lincoln Harbor, often working as a private detective while also helping Shadowhound. He currently shares a townhouse with Regina and Aria, who also has two homes with one of them being a mansion located in the Graham District that belongs to the rich and wealthy. Ethan loves Regina to the point of defending her actions when she kills a corrupt human being in order to save lives. Basically, they make a power couple.

And those are the two primary love interests for Regina Lordwell.

#interracial love #love interest #storytelling #story teaser #story telling

[fatblerdbeyond-official]

Words of wisdom I came up with in 2003, which I try to live by every day.

#wisdom #philosophy #philanthropy #wise thoughts #wise words

[fatblerdbeyond-official]

Celebration with Kusanya Cafe in Englewood of Chicago, one of my previous neighborhoods during my childhood.

#celebration #kusanya cafe #party

[fatblerdbeyond-official]

I just came to a very positive conclusion about myself: I am not co-dependent. Despite having mental disabilities, I realized that not everyone would accept me nor like me.

In other words, I grew up knowing what it was like out there in the real world, even if I don't always experience similar joys and sorrows like everyone else.

Although I was often filled with rage and chaos, I had very strong emotional intelligence that countered everything that I couldn't believe in.

#i am strong #i understand #maturity #emotional intelligence

[fatblerdbeyond-official]

Words of wisdom I came up with in 2003, which I try to live by every day.

#wisdom #philosophy #philanthropy #wise thoughts #wise words

[fatblerdbeyond-official]

Correction: I wrote a dialogue script about interracial relationships out of curiosity. That was my first story as a kid when I wrote about MC Hammer and the doll Shani as a couple.

But this song needs a listen by me again as I enjoyed the romantic scene.

Watch "The Manhatten Transfer - So You Say (Esquinas)" on YouTube

This song and its music video was my first intro to interracial relationships. I loved it all. Now that I think about it, I don't recall having a problem with white women getting with black men, even though I wrote a story about that without a hint of prejudice towards interracial love.

I'll explain it in my next blog post.

#manhattan transfer #interracial love #interracial #interracial relationships #music video #so you say #Youtube

[fatblerdbeyond-official]

Maybe I should write a romcom drama out of this short story I wrote.

If These Walls Could Talk To You

Written by Natalie Alicia Norment

©️ 2023 Natalie Alicia Norment

Once upon a time, during the Joseon Period of Korea, there was a man named Kim Hyun-Gi who fell in love with a woman named Lee Sun-Woo. They became a couple, of course, even to the point where they got engaged.

But the universe had a twisted way of deciding our love life, just as Hyun-Gi unintentionally fell in love with an African-American bigender woman named Emma James Franklin. She also fell for the Korean man, but she noticed he was with another woman who she found out later was his fiance.

Emma James' heart broke, but he kept his distance should she ever cross paths with Hyun-Gi ever again. Eventually, the moment they did, Hyun-Gi and Emma James developed a connection once they began talking to each other.

It was then that Hyun-Gi began making the first move on Emma James, kissing her at first. She slapped him at first, but her love for Hyun-Gi basically got the best of him, and Emma James gave into her heart's desire.

The two started having an affair, which was soon discovered by Hyun-Gi's fiance and family. Emma James was forced to reconcile with his mistake, deciding to move back to the States.

But Hyun-Gi refused to let her go back alone, because he knew what his heart and soul wanted. At first, it seemed impossible because Sun-Woo's best friend tried to attack him with a knife when she confronted him. He was rescued by his lover Emma James who had come to say goodbye to Hyun-Gi, only to have him injured in the process.

When the cops arrived, arresting Sun-Woo's best friend Han Eun-Kyung, both Hyun-Gi and Emma James were taken to a clinic nearby.

This is where the lovers had an important discussion about the future, especially when Hyun-Gi proclaimed his love for Emma James when she tried to convince him to go back to his fiance. Especially after the lovers discovered that Emma James was pregnant.

After taking a short time to think, Emma James decided to stay with Hyun-Gi, who breaks up his engagement with Sun-Woo who admits to convincing her best friend to kill him while she was too drunk. She also admits that she was never really in love with Hyun-Gi, because she wanted to date outside her ethnicity instead. But fear of disappointing her parents is what kept Sun-Woo from following her heart. He forgives her and leaves, after telling her to follow her heart.

Having tried to apologize to his family, only with his father being disappointed when Hyun-Gi confessed that he never really wanted to marry Sun-Woo in the first place, he gets kicked out of the family after he tells them that he and Emma James are having a baby together.

Hyun-Gi decides to move to Busan, Korea where he and Emma James can start a family together. He proposes marriage to his pregnant lover three months later and they get married in a matter of five months.

Once their twin daughters, Sunny and Orchid, is born, Hyun-Gi's family makes a surprising visit, with his father having a change of heart.

Hyun-Gi learns that his ex fiance began dating again, having found love with a Spanish man named Emilio Cortez. They now have a child together.

Hyun-Gi and Emma James make the important decision to move to San Francisco, California where Emma James's younger sister Gloria lives with her wife.

Twenty years later, Hyun-Gi and Emma James are celebrating their twin daughters' college graduation with their relatives. And it looks like Sunny has a boyfriend named Benjamin Michaels.

After their celebration, Hyun-Gi spends some time alone with Emma James, declaring his love for her as he did twenty years ago. His only regret is that he wished he had been honest about his feelings sooner before he decided to get involved with Sun-Woo. They make love.

Five years later, the couple return to Korea after both their parents have passed away. Hyun-Gi and his family are visiting his parents' grave. Sunny and Orchid are now with their spouses, with children of their own. He vows to teach his grandchildren how to follow their hearts, just like he did with his twin daughters.

Hyun-Gi has already started his own business between the States and his homeland, having promised to build a future where his children and their children can live in peace and harmony without any pressure from traditional values.

Another twenty years later, Hyun-Gi passed away after he lost his partner Emma James to cancer. His twin daughters, Sunny and Orchid, continue his legacy with their children, promising to join them in the afterlife when the time comes.

And so ended the life of Kim Hyun-Gi and his journey, with his legacy to build a foundation of love and support from his wife Emma James who passed away before her husband did.

Fin

#ambw fic #ambw scenarios #ambw bwam #ambw story #ambw relationships #ambw love story #ambw love #joseon #korea #historical #joseon korea #historical love story #love story #historical romance

[fatblerdbeyond-official]

Time to watch and listen to this video again. I still recommend giving it a try.

Watch "DREAM WAVES 🎧 Sleep Music [1Hz Delta] Binaural Beats Insomnia Healing ❄️ Winter Ambience" on YouTube

This is one of my favorite SleepTube videos, especially with both song and background scenery being beautiful.

Playing this video helps me sleep during the night, especially during the dark. When the music is being heard, I enjoy yearning for winter again.

#sleep music #sleep #sleep tube #youtube #sleeptube #snow #winter #dream wave #delta waves sleep