ilovedazaiosamu

[ilovedazaiosamu]

This is how it feels.

This is how it feels, to be inlove with him. It’s harsh, but it’s alright. Love is love, afterall. Though he’d push you away most of the time, you still loved him. You loved him too much, it was hard to let go. Even if he hurt you, you still stayed with him. You had no one else, so you only had him. He was the only person you could love, cherish, and talk to. You didn’t want to let go. You didn’t want to accept the fact that he didn’t love you anymore. You hated the fact that you’d die for him, or do everything for him. You tried your best to love him. You gave your all, but he didn’t. He couldn’t, anymore. He was dead. You didn’t want to accept reality. You were confused. He loved you so much, but now, he doesn’t respond to your ‘I love you’s’. It was because he couldn’t. He’s dead, and that’s it. You looked at the pictures you had on your phone, that were filled with his. You wanted to replay every single moment that you spent with him, but you couldn’t. He was dead. He died. Your lover, your world, Satoru, died. You missed him. The only thing you could to do is grieve for him. This is how it feels to love someone. You thought of how cruel he was for dying and leaving you alone in this empty, horrendous world you were in.

—

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jjk #jjk x reader #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo x reader angst #gojo satoru x reader angst #satoru gojo x reader angst #gojo angst #satoru gojo angst #gojo satoru angst #jjk angst

[ilovedazaiosamu]

Happy birthday to my bbg dazai, here’s a quick fanfic..

Characters : dazai osamu, shouka (yours and his daughter, 5 years old)

Dazai had a ‘tiring’ day at work. He forgot that it was even his own birthday. He is now at his front door, about to open the door. As he opened the door, Dazai realized that the lights were off.  “Belladonna-? why is it so dark in here…?” Dazai said, as he turned on the light. He was confused that you weren’t in the living room, nor the kitchen. You and Shouka were also not in her room. Dazai opened the door to you and his room, to see that the lights were turned off too. He then turned on the light, and saw you and Shouka.

The room was covered in balloons. There was also a small banner, which said ‘Happy Birthday’. There were also some presents beside the bed. 

Shouka was recording, while you were holding his birthday cake. “Happy birthday, honey!” You said as you held Dazai’s cake. Shouka ran to her father and wished him a happy birthday. Dazai was shocked. He himself forgot that it was his birthday, but you and Shouka remembered. “You both really know how to suprise me!” He smiled and picked up Shouka, carrying her. Shouka laughed and smiled. You did too. Seeing your husband being happy, together with his daughter, makes you happy too. “Come on, blow out your candles! Shouka, give the phone to me, I’ll record you and papa blowing out the candles! Okay?” “Okay mama!” Shouka smiled at you. You placed the phone somewhere on the bed, and started to record. “1..2…3!” Dazai blowed out the candles with Shouka, and smiled at Shouka and you, placing a kiss on both of your foreheads. You kissed Dazai on his cheek and forehead, giving him a birthday card and some gifts. “I love the both of you guys, thank you..” Dazai said and then he hugged the both of you. 

Soon, Shouka was put into bed and slept. While you and Dazai had an ‘intimate’ night. 

—

I’m forgetting how to write because of too much c.ai..

#dazai x reader #bsd dazai #bungo stray dogs #bsd dazai osamu #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #dazai osamu x reader #bsd #osamu dazai x reader #dazai fluff #dazai osamu fluff #osamu dazai fluff #happy birthday dazai #bottom dazai week #bsd fluff #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs fluff #bungou stray dogs fluff

[ilovedazaiosamu]

Setting up a prank on him!! (megumi fushiguro)

summary: you and gojo had a plan to do something to megumi tonight.

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It was already 10:09 p.m. you and megumi were cuddling in your bed, asleep. but you weren’t, you and gojo’s plan is going smooth so far.

now it was your time to do it.

you slowly tried to get out of bed, but megumi was holding onto you tightly. “where are you going?” “i need to go to the bathroom, gumi.” “okay then…” he reluctantly let you go, leaving a pout on his face.

you walked to the door, trying to hold in your laugh with gojo. “you look good in my pajamas, gojo. might as well do this prank often on him if it doesn’t fail!” “you want me to get in trouble with MEGUMI??” “why not?” “anyway lets start, we’ve been talking for too long!” gojo grinned as he looks at himself in the mirror.

gojo entered inside the bedroom, trying to shorten his height to look like you. he then went over to cuddle with megumi, trying to hold in his laugh. megumi suddenly realized ‘you’ didn’t smell like yourself as usual.

the lights were suddenly turned on and you quickly took a picture of gojo and megumi cuddling. megumi was confused, but you and gojo were laughing your asses off.

as soon as gojo left, megumi told you to prepare yourself.

—

#megumi fluff #jujutsu megumi #jujutsu #jujutsu kaisen #megumi #fluff #megumi fushiguro #megumi x reader #megumi x you #megumi jjk #megumi x reader fluff

[ilovedazaiosamu]

You opened your eyes, feeling a heavy weight on your chest. who no other than chuuya is it? he’s your wonderful husband. after all, he was probably tired from work! so why not let him rest?

“mama!” your son shouted, running towards you and chuuya. “yes honey, what do you need?” “i wanna hug with mama!” “what about your father? he’s sleeping. you can’t disturb him, he’s tired from working.” “awwh, can i just go between?!?? i wanna hug!” …. you couldn’t give an answer to him! you felt bad that only your husband is cuddling with you but your son isn’t.

“chuuya, baby, are you awakee?” you asked, caressing his hair, then kissing his forehead. “mhm…” “can you give some space for our baby?” “okay, fine..” your son suddenly jumped with excitement as hearing to his father’s response, snuggling in between both of you.

“papaa, mama, when can i have a little sister or brother?” chuuya smirked at his son’s question and looked at you, who was flustered by your son’s question. “honey, just wait okay? papa will make sure mama will give you a little sister or brother! what about we go shopping later, yeah?” chuuya answered your son, still smirking. “yay! can we buy ice cream too?” “baby, you can’t. you’ll get si-” “of course you can!” chuuya cuts you off, then you looked at him with a pout. “lets get ready now, we dont want to get into traffic!” chuuya says while getting up from the bed, your son follows him with a smile. you never thought you’d have a happy family, or even create one. but now you do. you smiled at your beloveds’ and got up from the bed, getting ready to start a new day.

this is my first time writing fluff😭😭

#chuuya nakahara #chuuya #chuuya x you #chuuya fluff #bsd chuuya #chuuya x reader #chuuya scenarios #bsd #bungo stray dogs #chuuya x reader fluff #nakahara chuuya #bungou stray dogs

[ilovedazaiosamu]

“You’ll never escape, dove.”

It was not a beautiful day today, you wondered when was it your turn to have one.

You weren’t allowed to get out of the house without your husband’s permission. He always kept you inside the house, but unless its been a week or so, or that you’ve been behaving well, he’ll take you out to a shopping spree. But what happened today? You tried to do another suicide attempt, again. Now what is your punishment? you weren’t allowed to get out of the house for 2 weeks. Well was that even a punishment anymore to you? You’re already used to it.

In other words, you don’t care. Your husband can lock you up, harm you, starve you, kill you, fuck you, or do anything to you, you won’t give one single fuck about what he’ll do to you.

You had enough of everything, but there was no use of escaping. So you just gave in, deciding to stay quiet and talk if necessary.

Your husband was not happy with that. He didn’t like that you had a neutral expression on your face, which was not showing any emotion at all.

He felt guilty… guilty for not trying to help you with whatever is going on with your head, for not helping you tend your wounds, not listening to you, committing adultery too.

Oh? did he forget? you had the ability to read minds. But now that you know that he’s sorry, you’ll make him suffer. ‘Was I not good enough? not that I care but I think if I was still the hopeless fool in love, I would’ve been upset.’ You thought to yourself.

When your husband went to sleep, you arose from your bed, planning to go to the basement. You knew your husband had weapons in there and you’ll take that opportunity to die.

Stepping into the basement, you saw the collection he had there. ‘I almost forgot that he was in an organization which includes killing people…’ You said, quietly. Walking towards the gun and loading it, putting it onto your head. You heard footsteps, you knew your plan is working. “Goodbye, Mein schatz” You pulled the trigger. He was confused… why? why did things have to end like this? Why did you have to die? he was trying to keep you safe, perhaps he should’ve done it in another way. “NO!” your husband said, with a broken voice, unable to know what to do.

•••••• im sorry this is an old goofy draft☹️

Mein schatz = My treasure

#bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #bsd fyodor #fyodor x reader #dazai x reader #chuuya x reader #chuuya angst #dazai angst #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #fyodor dostoevsky

[ilovedazaiosamu]

Why not me?

author’s note: hi☺️ i had a bad and horrible week and why not some dazai angst? also please forgive me if this fanfic isn’t satisfying enough for you.

characters : dazai, reader(you), another woman

genre: angst, hurt/no comfort, you died,|| by suicide, lmao

summary : Osamu Dazai, your husband, gets bored of you and decides to get into a relationship with another person, you find out. What happens next?

I recommend you to listen to Mitski while reading this, especially the song “why didn’t you stop me?” or “washing machine heart”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You were waiting for Dazai to come home from work, he usually came home earlier than you but ever since last week, he started to come home late.

You then decided to make dinner for yourself and him while waiting. The door creeked open, and behind the door was Dazai. “Dazai!! where were you? why were you taking so long to get out of work?” you asked him in a curious tone. ‘Dammit, when can she shut the fuck up?’ Dazai thought to himself, wondering when can you stop trying to meddle into his problems, “Oh, something just came up at work. Now can you please get off of me? I want to change.” Dazai responded to you. You wondered why he was suddenly so distant from the last week, then you saw something you didn’t want to see.

‘A fucking hickey? on his fucking neck? is he cheating on me? Am I not good enough for him? Should I ask him about it?’ You thought to yourself. “Is there something wrong, Belladonna?” Dazai asked you, in a worried tone, you shook your head and brushed your thoughts away. “Did you have your dinner yet, Dazai?” “Oh yeah, I did, no need to make me dinner, I’m full” ‘Yeah full eating out someone else’s pussy’ you thought to yourself.

“Oh okay. I’ll go to bed now.” You responded to him. Walking to your shared bed, knowing that your husband doesn’t love you anymore, and that your nightmare came true. “Why not me?” You whispered to yourself, closing your eyes to go to sleep and wish for a great dream.

The next morning😦😦(im wishing i wont have a next morning)

You woke up, not feeling Dazai’s presence in your bed. Frowning, you got up to shower and went to the pharmacy, planning to buy medicine because it felt like you had a headache . As you were walking home, you saw Dazai, at a restaurant, sitting with another woman. You decided to let him be because, why would you interrupt him from being happy? You saw him smiling at the woman, holding her hand, wishing that it was you instead. You were about 35ft. away from your house, and near your house was an alleyway. “SOMEONE!! PLEASE HELP ME!” a voice screamed, you wondered who it was and being worried and curious, you ran to the alleyway to help the person who was screaming for help.

You saw a girl, who looked like she was only 14, holding another girl in her arms, which you assumed that it’s someone probably important for her, both being held hostage. “Hey, are you okay?” You asked running towards them in a worried tone. “Hey! Get away from the children or I’ll shoot.” The kidnapper said, threatening and holding unto the gun. Little did they know, a policeman is running to the commotion because of the little girl’s scream for help. You suddenly jumped in front of the gun, and out of luck, only your shoulder was shot at and not anywhere at your chest. “Run, please, I can handle it, and please, get some help.” You said to the little girl who was shocked. She ran into the policeman who was on his way to see what happened in the scene. “Sir! please! Help the woman there! She got shot!!” She cried at the policeman as he went and saw your body, on the floor, unconscious due to loss of too much blood. As for the kidnapper there, he tried to run but he couldn’t. He ended up getting arrested, and for the girl she went back to her family safely with her sister. Oh… but for you? You ended up in the hospital. Once you woke up, you got questioned if you had anyone close to you to visit you by the nurse. “Oh.. yes, I do, his name is Dazai Osamu, he is my husband. Now where is my phone? I’ll call him.” “Ma’am, I’m sorry but calls are not allowed in the hospital unless the staff is the one calling.” “What about you call him? I’m sure you won’t mind, right?” “Of course. I’ll give him a call that you’re injured and that you’re in the hospital, anything extra you want to say to him?” “No, thank you” You responded to the offer. The nurse went outside to call Dazai by using your phone. She then went back inside after 2-4 minutes and gave your phone back. “Please call for me if you have any complications with moving or if anything hurts. I’ll get the doctors, okay?” the nurse said. “Alright.” You responded.

Soon after Dazai ran to the hospital, leaving his mistress alone for the date.

“Belladonna! Are you okay? the nurse told me you got shot and lost alot of blood!! Oh please, tell me you are!” Dazai barged into your room, the nurse telling him to be quiet politely and left the two of you alone. “Belladonna? is there something wrong? Do you feel unwell?” “Of course I do, Dazai, you think seeing your own husband going out with other woman doesn’t make you sick?” Dazai’s eyes widened to your response, wondering how you found out. “Suprised? Oh don’t even think your that good at hiding things away from me. I know you better than I know myself. You are just like a part of me, Dazai. We’ve been together for years and you think you can still hide stuff away from me?” “Belladonna- I’m sorry, okay? Please forgive me, I really am. When I heard from the nurse that you got shot, it made me feel an uneasy feeling in my stomach too. I’m so sorry, belladonna, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” “Am I not good enough for you, Osamu?” you said with teary eyes, not daring to look right at him. “Belladonna, you are, I am just such a selfish man and I thought, I didn’t deserve you because you were beyond the meaning of the word kindness. Please, my love, don’t leave me.” “I won’t leave you, but you deserve someone much more better than me, Osamu. I kind of need some space right now, honey, so please leave me alone.” “As you wish, my beloved.” Dazai said as he left a room, with a sad look on his face. He felt bad for you and decided to prepare some gifts for you once he will go back to visit you tomorrow.

The next day, he went into the hospital and then to your room, but when he was just near the door, he heard a shriek from your room. He went to your room and then saw the nurse shocked, and your body, unconscious, on the floor. He rushed to your body, feeling this nostalgic feeling that he felt with his dearest friend, Oda. “Belladonna! You must be joking! open your eyes!! please… don’t die on me..” he cried, checking your pulse and heartbeat. And he didn’t feel or hear anything. He tried again and again trying to hear your heartbeat, he tried finding the warmth of your body, but it wasn’t there. “What happened to her…?” He asked the nurse, and she said she doesn’t know because she also just went in to check up on you because she heard a sound from your room. “Well??? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR GET SOME FUCKING HELP!” Dazai screamed at the nurse, his voice was cracking. The nurse rushed to get some help and once she did, he had to wait outside for you. And when the doctor told him, “I’m sorry, she couldn’t make it. We tried our best.” “No. no. no. no. no NO!! You have to be joking. My wife is a strong woman. She cannot just die easily! She can’t just leave me!!” Was Dazai’s response. He ran into your room and looked at your body. It looked like it was so cold, and it was. There was no signs of warmth in your body. “Belladonna? Sweetheart?? Darling?? My love…? just wake up… please.. don’t leave me..” Dazai said and then held your hand. “I love you so much, [name]. I hope you’re in peace right now, so please forgive for what I have done to you. You deserve better.” He said as he was trying to accept the fact that you’re dead. That you killed yourself because of him. That you died because of him. That you got your heartbroken, by him. He doesn’t ever want to let you go, but he has to because you have to go. You were the light of his world, and now, his world darkened once again.

• • That was so cheesy wtf || any req?? i only do bsd, genshin

#dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #bsd dazai #bsd dazai osamu #dazai angst #dazai osamu x you #dazai x you #dazai x reader angst #dazai osamu x reader angst #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs angst #bungou stray dogs angst

[ilovedazaiosamu]

Hi!!

#bungo stray dogs #bsd dazai #dazai x reader #dazai angst #hurt/no comfort #dazai osamu #dazai osamu x reader #bsd dazai osamu

[ilovedazaiosamu]

“I love you, Myshka”

author’s note : hello, im a new writer here, if you can, please give me tips on how to get better! /// i’m also sorry that my fyodor is ooc😓

characters : fyodor, reader(you), a doctor

genre : angst, hurt/comfort, happy ending

enjoy!!

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You and Fyodor love each other dearly, at the start of the relationship Fyodor would always be there for you, whenever you’d want something, he’ll give it to you! Oh no!!You’re crying? He’ll find out who made you cry and repent for their sins. Oh my, but look at your relationship now, Fyodor’s too busy with work and won’t give 1 single shit about you, he’ll even hurt you if you disturb him when he’s in a bad mood.

He thought that humans should learn a lesson if they made a mistake, whether big or small, but now, he’s contemplating if he’s God or not… seeing you lay unconscious on the floor makes him feel like he’s damned.. he went over to you and quickly got you some help. But my, my! when a doctor shouted “Go!! get more help!! we’re losing this patient!” Fyodor’s eyes went wide, he felt an uneasy feeling that made him regret everything he did to you.. he wanted to see you smile and laugh again, not see you with lifeless eyes and a neutral face expression. Fyodor would do anything to get you back, to make you show your contagious smile to him, to make you feel special, to get you everything you need and want, to never feel this guilty and uneasy feeling ever again.

……..

(after 1-2 hours)

The doctor walked to Fyodor and asked him, “Hello sir, are you Mrs. [name]’s relative? or someone close to her?” “I am her lover, is she doing okay?” Fyodor said to the doctor, trying to not make himself sound worried, “I’m sorry to inform you sir that she is in a critical condition and needs to rest in the hospital for a few weeks or months, until she’s stable and ready to go, she can get discharged from the hospital.” the doctor said. Fyodor asked if he could go inside your room, the doctor then said yes and let him enter your room, seeing you lay on the bed made him feel guilty for not being there with you. He sat on the chair near your bed, “The moon reminds me of your beauty. So beautiful yet so far away. Here I am wishing I could hold you in my embrace” he said, and then suddenly he jolt up when he heard your voice, “Fedya?? is that you” as you said softly, trying to make yourself sit up from the bed, Fyodor helped you and then asked you, “Why? why must you do that? why did you try to kill yourself?” silence then filled the room, but it was broken by your response.. “Fedya, you almost never came home, we never do things together, I don’t care if you bought me something expensive, I just want to spend time with you! Why can’t you understand? Why did you have to hit me whenever I disturb you? You could’ve just scolded me!? You didn’t even care whenever I spend hours inside the bathroom crying, you didn’t even want to spend any time with me when you had the time to, it even looked like you didn’t love me anymore, Fedya..” you cried out to him, trying your very best to not break and have a meltdown. “Myshka, never do that again, I’m sorry that you felt like that, I’m sorry that I made you feel like that, I’d do whatever it takes to make it up with you, please Myshka, never do that again..” Fyodor said, softly, you smiled at him and hugged him, sharing your warmth to him. “ I love you, Fedya, my heart goes around the moon everytime I see you.” you said to him, Fyodor chuckled, “Myshka, if God ever offered me eternal life, I’d turn him down, because life without you is nothing compared to death, I love you more, Myshka.” Fyodor replied to your words, making you flustered than ever, he then gently cupped your face and then kissed you, you widened your eyes and then returned the kiss to him. In the end, Fyodor will always love you, no matter whatsoever happens to you and him. “Please rest well and don’t make me wait too long, Myshka, I’ll be waiting for you until you are much better.” Fyodor said, you nodded and teased him about getting worried for you.

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#fyodor x reader #fyodor angst #fyodor bsd #fyodor dostoevsky bsd #fyodor dostoevsky #bungo stray dogs