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skarkkk · 21 days

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I can't stop thinking about 911 ep4 and I need to freak out. So I'm going to freak out here so that other people freak out too, because my god, that ep is perfect.

First point: Bi Buck

My happiness to finally have this, to have Buck truly be part of the Canon community is limitless. Like, can you imagine how important this representation is to people in real life? A man in his 30s, a "macho" firefighter who until then had only had relationships with women, discovering that he can like guys, that he liked kissing a man. I can literally imagine how Buck might feel about this and the whole coming out and accepting yourself part. Because he is an ally and he is an incredible man, but imagine living with parents like that, growing up not knowing that part of yourself and that whole "this is not a phase, this is who I am" part and him accepting that. Because Buck has always been someone more sensitive to his own emotions and I hope this is portrayed in his self-discovery and, God, I need him to finally be happy being who he is. Being Buck. I want him talking to the team and realizing that he doesn't need acceptance from other people (the world) when he has their real family. I want Maddie's reaction because since season 2 she had already told us that Buck wasn't straight (even if they were jokes). I want everything Buck deserves to truly feel good and happy.

Second point: Buddie

I want them, I need them. But not this season. I think people think so much about finally having them together that sometimes they don't really think about how (me, for example, in my outbursts). But Buddie needs to be developed calmly and even more carefully. Because it's not just about friends to lovers, there's a whole background. It's not just them getting together because, imagine finding out you like guys too, then you realize you're in love with your best friend and how do you deal with that when everything is so new?

I want them to be canon more than anything, I need it and I'll probably die if it really happens. Buddie had a long development process, from the beginning of their friendship until this season. Because they are best friends and even went through the divorce phase. They raise a child together, Buck is Chris's father and their jealousy towards each other was clear. The worry, the care, the protection, the anger, the affection, they felt so much and I think a rushed start to their romantic relationship would ruin everything because they really need to feel it. That emotion of "I love him and I won't hurt him again", because these boys are a disaster. I think the process of them going from best friends to lovers will be confusing, especially because Buck would probably be terrified at the idea of being in love with his best friend and ruining everything between them again (the process) and Eddie wouldn't know how to deal with the his first bi crush being the person he cares about most (after Chris). Like, I need them, but not this season. I want them next time, I want their relationship to be built with sensitivity and not with loose ends. Not in the process of their self-discovery, because while I can imagine how sweet it would be for them to have all their first times (minus Buck's first bi kiss, because we have Tommy) together, I can imagine how wrong it could go. Like, I don't know, buddies have always been full of emotions and intense scenes and I want that in their relationship.

Another point about Buddie is that I want it to happen, yes, but my priority is Buck and Eddie's happiness, even if that means they don't stay together, you know. I would cry, a lot, and live on fanfics, but I don't want something forced between them, because I love how everything always seems spontaneous in their friendship and I want a romantic relationship like that, you know.

Third point: Tommy

I love this man. Like, I wasn't the biggest fan in eps begins, but I never hated him. I've loved the actor since I met him in SWAT and I love that he (and Olives, obv) are willing to play LGBT characters. The point itself is that I want Tommy to gain focus too, both as a member of the 118 family and as Buck's love interest.

I have theories and I've read theories (in fics) about why he was that way in eps begins and I can understand. I don't remember exactly what happened because my memory is terrible, but think about it. He, like Eddie, was part of the army (and we love gay stories between soldiers but we know how they can be in real life), and was under the release of a captain who had prejudices, yes. We don't know about his past, his family (at least I don't, besides fanfics) so the probabilities of why he was repressed and followed the old captain's orders are several. The one that holds me the most is fear and possibly internalized homophobia. In the army, we imagine people who don't break and who can handle whatever comes at them, and speaking of men in the armies, they are not seen as sensitive (stereotypes), and this is how the community tends to be seen by homophobes and the like. Now imagine a bi guy coming out of the closet and imagine the reaction. Another point is the old captain and how Tommy seems to want to be part of the 118 family (now), so I can imagine that he repressed himself to be part of the old "family" (not that I see them as family, because they weren't).

Talking about him now, I love how sweet this man seems to be. In the sense of understanding, we saw that he has that sarcastic and smart-ass bone that the whole team has (I love the scene of them going after Bathena). And the fact that he really worried about Buck and the possibility of ruining their friendship (Buck and Eddie), the kindness of the kiss (my god, I can't forget that kiss). I can really imagine Tommy being a guy who would understand Buck's discovery process, who wouldn't react badly to being the first man, the experiment (as I've read in fics). I think he would understand that Buck really has feelings for him (because we can't deny that the sparkle in Buck's eyes is there when he looks at Tommy) and that he's willing to really try something with a man even if he's scared (I hope, amen ). I think Tommy is the right guy to be Buck's first. And he knows 118 (to a point) and they're friendly, Eddie likes him, Chris likes him, and Chris and Eddie have strong opinions about people (the team too, of course, but talking about family Buddie, romantic or not between Eddie and Buck ). So Tommy already has the approval of the people most important to Buck, this already proves that he is a good person.

I want more of Tommy (god, I love this man)

Fourth point: Tuck (what's the name of their ship???)

I want to see a stable, healthy relationship between Buck and Tommy. I loved their chemistry, their kiss. And like I said, Tommy seems like the right guy for Buck's first times with a man. I think their relationship would be really cute to watch, both as a couple and in the process of developing it. Buck doesn't have a very good history with encounters, because he always tends to get hurt from them. I want it not to be like that with Tommy, I want them both to feel comfortable and to be really happy with each other. (I would love a Karen/Hen style scene in the ep where they get together for the first time).

I wouldn't mind at all if they were endgame (of course, again, I'd cry for Buddie, but I'd love it). I wonder if Buck will take him as his date to Maddie's wedding (because that would be a confirmation of their relationship, you know). I keep imagining so many possibilities for meetings and scenes between the two of them (as long as both actors feel comfortable, of course. Again, I love them.)

Now, if it's not endgame, there has to be an amicable ending, one that doesn't hurt either of them and they remain friends. Because I think it would be really sweet to see their friendships continue. The most important thing if the breakup happens (... I really hope not, despite Buddie) and that they don't put a woman as Buck's date next time and simply forget about his sexuality, treat it as just another open thing, he knows.

In short, I need more of them because I can't stop thinking about them

Fifth point: ep5

I have a lot of thoughts about what we've received so far.

First, the meeting. I think people are dismissive of Buck's reaction to both Eddie arriving and "it's my first date with a guy" because, firstly, I think it's important for Buck to feel comfortable. Imagine being so nervous about not doing shit, wanting to feel comfortable and good about being on a date with a man you like romantically and then your best friend (who thinks you're straight) walks up with his girlfriend. I hope Tommy understands that Buck didn't mean to treat him disrespectfully or that he didn't want the date, because we know that's not what it's about. I hope there's another date, one where Buck feels comfortable relaxing without the pressure of being with people you know because he's still discovering himself, and he needs to feel comfortable for that to happen without him feeling bad about it. , he knows.

Second, the strangulation. I love that Buck gets hurt anyway, but what gets me the most is Tommy's reaction. Because he wasn't there the other times (the plane, the bread, Lola, the truck, the tsunami, the shooter, the post-Daniel fire, the lightning. And those are the times I remember he almost died) when Buck almost died (and in the case of lightning, he died) or got hurt and I want to see how he will feel about the person he likes (because love still seems too early, again, I want it to be treated with sensitivity, not rush) getting hurt . I want to see him going after Buck and being careful and having a sincere conversation about the first date (we don't know how long it took from the date to the call) and feelings, and then I want a kiss and Tommy taking care of Buck (because this man doesn't know how to take care of himself).

I think that's it, actually. Of course, I still want to freak out a lot more.

Another point not related to Buck is Ravi. I loved that he was back (even if just a little). First, I loved his curls. Second, I loved his interaction with Buck and Eddie and him having no idea what's going on. I really want Ravi to be a main character, I want focus on him and his story. Like, I can only imagine what it's like to live your childhood with cancer and then become a firefighter and his trauma with the pier (traumas don't end that easily). Anyway, I want to focus on Ravi and more of him with Chimney (I love the brothers' relationship). I also want him having a romantic interest in someone (May or Albert, please) and him being pan (even more unlikely, but I can dream.

And I love the headcanon that Ravi thought Buddie were divorced, or that they were a couple so I want to see his reaction to Buck with Tommy.

Bonus: I don't remember the script exactly, but there's also the apparent scene where Eddie tells Buck to call Tommy (I think). So two points, Tommy wasn't an idiot because then Eddie wouldn't tell Buck to call him. And Eddie supports the two of them - if you take it in the sense that Eddie is supporting knowing that it was a romantic date, not a guy date. Or encouraging a friend to make peace with another.

And I'm pan, and probably ace, and probably bi gender too, so I know a little about the community, in case anyone thinks I'm just another straight guy talking without having any idea what he's saying, you know.

And that. For now.

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