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dawnisdreamlanding · 5 months

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CHAPTER 3

Ghost x Reader x Konig

Neighbor!au and Roommate!au

About me | Masterlist |

Author's note: Hey hey hey! It's been a while hahahs I actually have chapter 4 and chapter 5 planned out but i havent got the energy to write them :') All i can say is that everything in this story has been going too well right now... >:)

(Also if you have any fanfic ideas/ asks feel free to send an ask or dm me :D)

You’re waiting once again for Simon to pick you up from work. It’s now become an almost daily thing for a month now, the two of you. You’d finish work, Simon would show up in his pickup truck and occasionally the two of you would eat dinner together.

Okay, you do partially feel as if you’re cheating on Konig in some way by having dinner with your neighbor (Konig said he had a work emergency and he was going to be gone for a month or two), but your roommate wasn’t here to keep you company anymore and you weren’t willing to eat dinner alone after being so accustomed to the company you had.

Today, the atmosphere in the car seems a little different than the rest. Just a little, though. You decide not to comment on it and buckle your seatbelt before he starts driving. “How was work?” Simon would ask the usual question. “Fine,” you would reply tiredly with a sigh. The two of you would fall into a domestic routine in such a short time, yet neither of you ever really questioned it.

The patter of rain provided a relaxing white noise as the two of you sit in comfortable silence, waiting for the traffic light to turn green. The streetlamps glisten and you turn to see Simon in his balaclava that he wears only when going on missions.

“I’m going to be deployed. Tonight.” He finally breaks it to you. “Oh.” You reply, but you can’t be sure if it sounded sad or understanding. Maybe both. “Do you know when you’re coming back?” He shrugs, eyes still fixated on the road. “I’m thinkin’ 2 months at least.”

There’s another silence that follows, but this time around it’s filled with a lot of unsaid words waiting to be spoken into existence. Simon turns to look at you. God, he wishes he didn’t because the red from the traffic light paints your features in the best way, and he doesn’t think he could forget this moment anytime soon. “You’ll be fine without me yeah?” Simon finally asks. You feel like there’s a secret message lying hidden somewhere in the question by the way he looks at you, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

---

You spend your days without Simon and Konig counting. Counting how many days it’s been since they’ve been gone, and the times you accidentally cook food for two. Today marks the 2 month mark, and to be honest, you still haven’t gotten used to your apartment engulfed in darkness when you get back from work. You sigh.

---

Simon spends his days counting unconsciously. He takes another long drag from his cigarette and watches the smoke slowly disappear into the night sky outside of a bar the team decided to celebrate their victory at. It’s a little chilly. Winter is approaching, and he hopes you’re warm and tucked into your apartment right about now. Soap stands beside him, accompanying him. “You goin’ home for Christmas, L.T?” he says. Soap expects Ghost to say no, or to say something along the lines of spending the holiday alone.

Ghost gazes at the stars which is something he doesn’t really do since he was a kid and god, he swears he still sees your face as the stars twinkle. He hums. “Got a Christmas gift for someone. Gotta give it to ‘em somehow.” Soap’s taken aback at his answer but chooses not to pry too much into his private life. Not this time at least. Suddenly the bar cheers with happiness and the clinking of beer bottles. “Happy for ya, L.T.” Soap says as a small knowing smile spreads on his lips.

---

Ghost spends the time taken for the trip back to his civilian life decompressing and when he reaches home, he wants nothing more than the dinners the two of you had before he left for the mission. But he decides the moment his duffel bag hits the floor, that he really, really needs to sleep first. That doesn’t stop him from thinking about you though, cause he dreams of the moment when he picked you up from work in his pickup truck.

You’re ecstatic when Simon tells you he’s back. You prepare dinner, finally making food for two (or three, with how much this guy eats). And you’re basically skipping when Simon knocks on your door.

Dinner with Simon is calm yet filled with excitement and happiness. You both catch up on each other’s lives, and you tell him about everything he’s missed out on since he left. You tell him about the stray orange cat that found its way into your apartment once (you still have no clue how) and has now become a visitor occasionally — you leave out the part where you subconsciously named it after him.

You’re washing the dishes and Simon’s keeping the leftovers for your lunch tomorrow when the topic of long distance relationships get brought up. “I mean, it must be hard to maintain relationships, right? Especially since you don’t get to see each other for ages.” Ghost hums in agreement, a sign that you’ve learnt to understand that he’s listening to you intently. “I can’t imagine working in the military is any easier. Hell, I felt a little sad when you left too, I can’t imagine what your girlfriend would be feeling.”

“Don’t have one.” He says. And you smile a little. “Yeah, but imagine if you did. It’ll be like one of those old war movies.” You giggle at the thought and Simon joins you in washing the dishes. “Oh, my darling,” you say in an exaggerated voice of a lover. “I don’t think I could love you anymore. The pain is too much to bear!”

Your theatrics tugs the corner of Simon’s lips upwards and he looks at you softly, arching his brow. “Y’ love me?” his voice rumbles, and it sounds something akin to the taste of vanilla ice cream with caramel drizzled on top which is weird, because you’ve never really liked the taste of caramel. Well, not until now.

There’s a certain softness in this moment, you tell yourself. There’s this feeling that you don’t think you could forget this look on his face. You blink and he’s taken the soapy cutlery from your hand and starts to wash the soap off them. “I forget how much I miss my soft bed when I come back. And being able to sleep in a little longer.” He sighs and it’s your turn to hum along. “And I missed your cooking.” He says a little softer this time, eyes focusing on the bubbles as they get washed away from the water. I missed this, you think.

Taglist: @gojo-mochi

#ghost x reader #konig x reader #simon ghost riley #ghost x reader x konig #konig x you #könig x reader #call of duty x reader #ghost cod #ghost x you #konig cod #simon riley x reader #simon riley

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sp1lled-lemon4de · 10 months

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ꨄ︎Bubblegum Bitchꨄ︎ ____________

Fandom: MHA (My Hero Academia) Characters: Mina Ashido x Fem!reader Genre: Fluff and smut A/n: Happy pride month!!! its my first btw...if you didn't know im Pan <3, also here is a cute gay fic :D

____________________ Having Mina as your friend was amazing, she is amazing. She is so bubbly and such a friendly person. You often found yourself staring at her, during lunch or

stealing glances at during classes.

She was your pink mutant best-friend. Key word…was…

You loved and hated your study sessions with her, reason being most of the time you wouldnt even study…

The pink haired girl wouldnt even open a damn book, much less read its contents.

She would usually just sit down and talk about cute guys she sees on the road, literally airport crushes. The chances of you ever getting to see them were very low, and you didn't want to do the math.

At some point it got annoying…not like you would ever tell her… you know what it feels like to get shut out by the people who you think care about you and are interested in what you have to say, especially if its something your passionate about.

But the thing that worried you the most was the fact that your mind wandered, like really far…

you would see her bubble with excitement and her pretty pink lips move with every word, you swore time both slowed down and speed up when you were with her…

She noticed…

Mina noticed your reaction to her 'antics' and how you treated her… she knew but never really said something.

That was until one night…it honestly was a blur for you (listen im too lazy to give you background details, use your imagination for this one T-T)

You could only focus on the pretty bubblegum pink girl on top of you, and how close her leg was to your private areas.

Admit you like it, is what your sinful nature told you, but she was your friend and you have to admit, her being your somewhat crush was ok, but that didn't give you the right to overly sexualize her.

You made sure not to lay a finger on her, scared that you would scare her away…

She opened her mouth and you could see she was speaking, but you were too lost in the moment to focus.

she moved her head between you neck, "can i?" she asked, her hand dangerously close to her destinated area.

You wanted to speak but you were afraid you would let out a pathetic little whimper or moan instead, so you just settled for a nod and a little 'mhm' giving her a green light to let her have her way with you.

Things got heated and you soon found yourself on top of her, her chest and pretty pink nipples exposed for all and by all i mean you to see.

you wanted to touch her but felt so embarrassed by your wants and needs that you just buried your face in her neck.

she let out a small chuckle and a few harsh breaths, patting your head, reassuring you… and the rest was a blur.

______________________

LMAO I HAVENT POSTED IN LIKE FOREVER Had art test today :D art is my fav subject and i think the highest i got in art so far was 91% aiming for higher though >:D Did my painting today the theme was 'night lift' i painted a fancy wine glass and explain the painting and at the back, i used mixed medium lmao...and when i finished one guy from my class and his exact words were "Author/name why you does do everything so good dawg" anyways my classmates loved it and i put tons of effort i really hope i get higher this term :D <333

(TAGS BELOW)

#hugmebringitin-whoooo #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #<3 #smut #mina x reader #mina ashido #mina ashido x reader #<33333

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rpmemesbyarat · 11 months

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RP MEMES FROM REDDIT 5/24/2023

“What is it with insufferable people and gaping their mouths open like fucking whales when they speak?” “I hate accountability too.” “Why cheat when you can leave the relationship?” “I guess we should decide who we’re eating first.” “Target in sight-- take aim and be ready to fire at my cue” "This body is weak, I must find a new host.” “So who wants an orgy if the elevator gets stuck?” “That might be kinda hot if everyone’s in the mood.” "Calm down, calm down, I said scabies not rabies" “Do you still have lice?” “Does anyone have a handkerchief, scarf or some garment I can borrow? I promise to return it.” “100% mortality rate my ass!” “Given your history, do you think you should be in here?” “Say nothing. Just laugh hysterically like someone’s just told you the funniest joke you’ve ever heard.” “Just taking this baby for its test ride. We've fixed it 3 times this week.” “You can add green onions to almost everything. “You have become the very thing you swore to destroy.” “Once every few months?!?” “What exactly does she want to know about her vagina?” “The standard has been pretty fucking low for a very long time but it's clear today that the mask of integrity has totally fallen from the face of greed.” “I can only imagine how funny that must have been from your neighbors perspective.” “Did you light your house on fire to kill the bedbugs?!?” “Just let me be happy before I die.” “Two chicks at the same time, man.” “You got a million bucks?” “You ever meet some of those people who are just happy people? Like genuinely happy, and kind.” “I want to do shrooms and experience ego death, cause god damn it sounds so horrendous and scary, but so beautiful and enlightening.” “I want to hit a crocodile in the face with a frying pan.” “I desperately want to be genuinely happy with what I have but I feel a fire burning deep inside me telling me that I havent hit the top of the mountain yet.” “I just wanna be the hottest goth at the gas station.” “Hunt a boar and eat it in a fire camp.” “My goal is to Eiffel Tower someone.” “Giraffes. No, I won’t explain myself.” “Not kinkshaming but kinkquestioning. Kinkpondering.” “I'm sorry for ruining 4.5k people's day.” “I’m so glad I don’t know what a lot of these are.” “Those disgusting, dirty little perverts.” “So long as everyone involved consents then I don't care, honestly.” “Rule 4, no chili powder in the bedroom.” “Sure enough, it was a small plastic baby doll he has shoved up his ass and then gave birth to.” “How do I delete my vision history?” “Yeah don't actually shove stuff up your ass unless you have a way to remove it Like a rope or a flared base Or some really strong ass muscles.” “Is it possible to kink shame someone who's into humiliation?” “I can not be responsible for anything I do.” “Lady that was dressed in full nurse regalia just took a squat and pissed in her nurse pants in the middle of a CVS parking lot.” “How do you feel about wigs?” “Are you sure there is tea in there?” “I wish Tinkerbell would poop rainbows on my face.” “Equal cake for everyone?” “Made it look so easy. That was badass.” “This takes me back to my childhood.” “Now I want my face painted!” “His jiggling is almost hypnotic. It's like a lava lamp.” “This is not the belly-dancer I ordered.” “So his red flags are all women!??!” “I love that our oceans are still a mystery to us.” “The earth is fucking weird.” “I'd hate to have a little tailbutt like that. I'd probably get it caught on everything.” “Wow that looks like a creature from a S. Dali painting!” “Why bother looking into outer space for aliens when we can just look at the bottom of our own oceans?” “You’re trying to tell me THAT isn’t from outer space?!?” “No idea what it is but it looks beautiful” “Once you decide to believe something, not only without evidence but in spite of it, all bets are off.” “It’s awful when a blowup doll gets a mind of its own. “The best pranks are the ones intended to confuse, not abuse.”

#rp meme #rp memes #rp starters #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #reddit

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beepartcollection · 6 months

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Artist ask game 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 20, 25, 27 👀 (No pressure to answer all of them, it was just a really good list)

1. Art programs you have but don't use Remember months ago when Rebelle went on sale for like $10? Yeah I bought it and havent touched it since. I also have Blender but I'm too used to Maya

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even) Left, definitely. Begging you for all my net worth please never make me draw someone facing forward with a neutral expression (ie the expression on all character ref sheets)

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw Our beloved crab spider man :3 (Godrick the Grafted). He's got some good flow to him and I think he'd be fascinating to draw more, but my god. Sweetie. Why so many fucking arms. Where is your center of gravity. H e l p

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

I don't know how many people remember this painting I did back in 2021, when All Tomorrows was popular, but I remember wanting to make a mini comic with this where this Bug Facer meets a Symbiote who takes her out for coffee and lunch and he chats about how amazing it is that in the cosmic scale of the galaxy, it was infinitesimally lucky that they all got to meet, let alone be physically in the same space, let alone survive after the Qu. Then he says he knows she's not an alien anyone's ever seen before, her method of stealth was terrible, and then asks her about her culture. I believe it ended with her begrudgingly knowing she has to run back home, but she's happier now because she finally got to see this grand cosmic unity between posthumans the rest of her people refuses to interact with. Along with this was a comic in the same vein about a family of Pterosapiens, and it's just about a little kid on her first day of school and the family encouraging her to go and have fun, and it's a comic about how love persists even after we're gone.

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy Well other than Godrick, I really enjoy drawing and rendering armor! I also enjoy drawing the tf2 mercs as they really are- just guys. They have fat, wrinkles, bits of grey hair, scars, hair, etc. I really dislike when people take those qualities away.

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by Disney. I reeaaally don't look like Disney. I also really don't like Disney. Just a- and I really hate using this word- normie saying anything that looks vaguely cartoonish is Disney.

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with Oh god my fatal flaw is I spend too much focus on the warmups and never get to like, the good shit. Or I just jump right into the good shit, knowing I spend too much time on warmups, and then burn out cause my dumb ass is like 'why does my art look bad why cant i art today'

#beepartcollection #beep breplies

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takasgf · 8 months

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Persian for any f/o (@ava-ships)

HIIIII AVA thank you for sending in an ask!!! need to get my mind off stuff and this is the best opportunity to ramble✌ will answer for the morkets <33

Persian: Are you a high or low maintenance couple? Who has the most rigorous grooming routine? Do you help each other?

In this sense, I'd say that Morgen is a lot more high maintenance than R.ocket because she is very preoccupied with her appearence. She is very fashionable, she loves new clothes and accessories, her hair must be perfect at all times otherwise she gets super upset (she even takes her time and fixes and rearranges it DURING battles). Unless she is in a bad headspace, she takes a lot of care of her appearence, sometimes to a bit of an unhealthy degree. She desperately wants to feel pretty at all times. She knows she's ridiculous when she shows up in literal ball gowns while everyone else is dressed up casually, but she just wants to look her best, always.

R.ocket is soooo much more laid back. When it comes to my personal hcs at least, I like to imagine that he does take care of himself as well, pretty often. I know its a pretty common joke that he doesnt like to shower, but the version of him that I f/o never said anything that might allude to that in canon, so to me that will remain as a joke only. He's definitely not as focused as Morgen, but I doubt he'd ever neglect the comfort of feeling clean - raccoons are literally known for washing their food and hands all the time, so its not too far fetched.

When it comes to helping eachother with this type of routine, it was Morgs who first started to do it. Ever since their first days of knowing eachother, she'd offer herself to brush his tail, patch up any injuries he might have gotten, look after him to make sure he eats enough healthy food, overall assuring his comfort, as reluctant as he was to accept it. Tangent here, but when they were still bounty hunters without a fixed place to stay at, she definitely let him take naps on her lap or on the hem of her dress because she hated seeing him have to sleep on the ground when he got tired. That'd be one of the reasons he got so comfortable with her in the future? She was just so, so kind to him. I dont want it to come across that he didn't do anything for her back, nuh uh - she was so sweet in the first place as a way to thank him for protecting her from danger (SO MANY people have tried to go after her, either for the reward money or because she seemed like an easy target; he did not let any of them touch a single hair off her head. ok maybe except for her arm getting ripped off, but he did put it back into place and gave her a cool ability; i need to think more about how that happened), for teaching her about the outside world and literally giving her the chance to escape her dying planet.

Now she still brushes his tail and fur, and in return he brushes her hair - he likes to braid it too. She bought him a bunch of special shampoo too, really good for maintaining his fur :3 fluffy!!!! They also take care of eachother's nails, Rocky is the one who paints Morgen's nails most of the time. She tried once to paint his nails too (he was asleep and woke up with sparkly blue little claws in the morning) and he did not like that in the slightest (he thought it made him look stupid! but he kept them like that for a few days anyway, the color was going to fade off with how much he uses his hands to build stuff). Bit embarassing but he's the one to remind Morgen to brush her teeth; she skips it sometimes because she really hates the taste of toothpaste and the way toothbrushes feel, but it's a lot easier to tolerate it with his encouragement and actual company, as he brushes his teeth alongside her in those moments. ( this whole bit was projection. mooties, brush your teeth, i havent been able to chew food on my left side for months )

OK um i dont know what else to talk about even if i still want to. but i guess its enough for one question 😅😅

#morket #writing this as detailed and intricate and annoying to read as possible was therapeutic to me

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mariska · 1 year

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got my income for the month the other day and after 6+ months of not being able to make digital art the way i'm used to with my specific accessibility needs because of physical health symptoms with my hands, i was finally able to buy myself a new Paint Tool Sai license today, since a little while back i successfully installed an optional Windows 10 operating system on my Macbook (Sai doesn't run on Mac, at least not Version 1 which is what i need and have been using for over a decade) that i can switch back and forth between whenever and i am so so so so happy and relieved about it and so fucking excited to get to draw digital lines the way im used to drawing them after trying so many other similar programs and failing to find anything that worked exactly the same as Sai's basic built-in pen stabilizer 😭😭😭😭😭😭

i was able to quickly test out my (also ancient lol) art tablet with it and make sure everything works and it doesnt lag or anything like that and its perfect its exactly like i've always used it, i remembered which pen stabilization number setting i've been using for years and like.

dude. i know i sound dramatic right now LMAO but i CANNOT sketch or draw properly on traditional paper or sketchpads anywhere near what i can do in Sai because of all my tremors and shakiness and sudden muscle movements that make accidental lines and all that. and when i drew just one regular brush stroke in Sai and felt it move like im used to and got that super smooth sensation of 'pretty much just drawing like im holding a pencil/pen but with the shakiness of my lines improved'....almost cried a lil not gonna lie fjsgdgsgdhsgshf its been so many months and i've put so much mental energy into researching how to do that whole windows installation on my 2012 era macbook and somehow did that without completely messing it up and then having to wait until a month where i have enough extra money to buy the official version (Sai is so important 2 me and the most accessible digital art program i've ever used for my specific hand problems and i've used it for so long that i am only comfortable using the officially licensed version of it, yknow?) and also theres just something so nice about finally being able to use it again a few days before my birthday even though that timing wasn't on purpose...

AHHHHH im just so relieved. i feel like im free to just be able to make sketch pages and draw stuff whenever i have free time to and i have an idea in my head again and i havent felt that in so long and it was making my depression so much worse....and also because i've been doing my best to adapt to the similar but different settings in Clip Studio Paint, i have 2 really nice digital art programs with a lot of cool and useful features between the both of them now that i can use to like, mix and match with my art!! which is awesome!! i think Clip will mostly be used by me now for more graphic design type projects since Sai's always been my core art program, but i'd love to experiment with drawing/sketching/painting pieces in Sai and then plopping them into Clip and adding some extra fun effects or background elements or even just easier to repeat patterns with its' huge free-to-use resource library for like stamps and texture effects and more photoshop-y things like that.

ANYWAYS!! im just rambling to myself because im so happy and relieved to have My Art Program back so i thought i would share since its rare for me to feel as happy and excited and get some sense of normalcy back in any capacity these days, being immunocompromised and stuck in my house as long as i have been the past 3 years and counting. it has been a good amount of time since i've felt like i have A Victory To Celebrate and i hope that feeling lingers as long as it can 🥹✌️

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skylilac · 2 years

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hey do you have any kotlc fic recs? any ship is okay, and even if it’s incomplete I’m still cool with reading it, I just wanted to see if you have any favorite fics or anything because I trust your taste (preferably on ao3)

if im being 100% honest i dont. rlly read kotlc fic anymore? also i havent logged onto my ao3 acc in months so i dont have anything bookmarked 😔

that being said i just did a quick search for some faves of mine!! and if you like them also check out the authors other fics bc those are gold too, im just choosing my personal favorites <3

-descend into darkness and all along my heart was leading me home by uni_seahorse_572 (both are soo incredible ive read them multiple times)

-Kiss Me Like It's Not Allowed by a_lonely_tatertot (always has me ugly crying but its okay i swear im normal.)

-Our Finite Eternity by spellboundfire!! (looove this one <3 kam that i actually like? its rare but this is it)

-I've lost it all (I'm just a silhouette) by Tobi_Continued (ruewen angst is always 11/10 but this one especially) also the scars along our skin (Paint our beauty like gold)!!

-Personal Hell by theunmappedstar (neverseen!keefe is smth so personal to me okay?? the emotions <//3)

-To Love Unafraid (With An Ugly, Poisonous Heart) and Perfect by sweetmothiricannotwrite (i think i’ve recced these before actually but yeah they’re so good)

-i've got to tell you how i love you by handpulledsilver (a 2 part series and its absolutely beautiful <3) also by ink: say this awful thing did not break me <3

-I'll be Your Real Tough Cookie, With the Whiskey Breath and Liquid Glass, Drowning Fire, Shattered Water by Enbies_Committing_Felonies (some of my favorite ships and written SO well)

-better off as lovers (and not the other way around) by tamsencen (tbh this is probably the fic that sold me on qualden <3)

-Blinking In The Starlight and wings on your feet and copper in your lungs by sunlight-and-storms (both of these are such a good read i love them, definitely check them out!!)

-Moments That Last Years and As Simple As That (of orbits, suns, and angel wings) (for angst and prose that makes you cry at any given moment </3)

#i think like. all of these ppl have tumblr too. unsure whether or not to tag them though so ajsdksl #anyways ty for asking me anon im glad you trust my taste <33 #i think all of these are incredibly angsty and for that im sorry i cant help my preferences #OH MY GOD HOW DID I FORGET quil's wing au!! i have yet to read it (i will though. one day.) but its an absolutely iconic fic so!#i got a message 📜#kotlc #fanfiction

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chronicallyillphoenix · 4 months

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My psych says that i am emotionally dissociated and this is the reason that in the past 6+ months i have actually felt a single emotion. The rest of the time i feel nothing. Absolute apathy. I get physical sensations of emotions (like tight chest when i would usually feel anxious, widespread tension/pain when i would feel angry, sinking chest and nausea when i would usually feel sad) but i dont actually *feel* the emotions. I have been explaining it like how it feels when getting a cavity fixed, the dentist numbs up the tooth so you dont feel the actual pain, but you still experience the physical sensations like the vibrations, smell, and scraping. She says its because i am still living with my ex and even tho we are friends, i still havent been given the chance to step back and actually let myself process all of my feelings.

Thats probably one of the reasons i am just now realizing im probably really depressed. Which would make A LOT of sense given a lot of the things that have happened in the past 6 months. Like. I broke up with my fiance the same day i got the money for a deposit for a wedding venue, i have lost not one, but three of my cats. And i never got to tell any of them bye because they live with my parents and even tho i didnt want them living outside, i didnt get a voice in the matter since i no longer lived there and the house went from my 2 parents, to 4 adults and a baby and they just didnt have room. Two of them were just really old and we think they did the animal thing and just went off somewhere to die alone and it *hurts* because the first one to go was my favorite because of how sweet he was and who i always slept with in my arms when i would visit (i have struggled so hard to spend the night there with him gone). But once he was gone the other two were gone within the next two months and none of them were expected (like we knew bandit and bunnie were old but we expected to them to pass away inside the cat pen where they stayed every night like every barn cat before them had and that way we could bury them up on the hill, but it didnt turn out that way). I have also developed more concerning health symptoms and have gotten no answers to them. And now my mom has broken her shoulder and isnt going to be able to work for the next 3 months and even tho shes getting workers comp, her pay is significantly less and shes my sole source of income right now. And so i am always already feeling guilty about spending any money but now i feel worse about it and am having panic attacks because i got fast food once this week because i was flaring too bad to make anything myself even tho my mom gives me money *specifically* so i can get food and stuff when i am in a flare.

But yeah i have realized i am almost certainly depressed and the funny thing is that the way i realized this was a tumblr poll. It was asking what peoples hobbies were and i couldnt answer it because in the past year i havent really had anything hobby wise. Ive mostly stopped reading, i am not doing pour paintings, not doing my paracord stuff, and anytime i decide im going to finally start knitting i just end up picking up the yarn and staring at it for a bit before setting it back down and going back to sitting on the couch with the tv on in the background for background noise.

Im going to see my psych on wednesday and i hope to talk to her about this but i also dont know what there is to do about it. Probably raise my antidepressant but idk. Im not even sad so i dont see the point in raising my antidepressant because idk what being not depressed would change because were pretty sure the apathy is because of current circumstances and not just because of depression idk. I just want everything to be normal again

#chronically ill phoenix #tw vent #tw animal death #tw dentist #tw injury #tw money

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m1dn1ghtposts · 1 year

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// tw: suicide, death, self harm, sexual assault, mental illness, vent //

00:22 am

i saw a post about wondering if your 12 year old self would be proud of you today, and i really thought about everything that’s happened. i’ve done some great things but some equally bad ones too, so in this post i’ll go through some of those.

- i graduated high school early with a high gpa

i also reached record suicide attempts when i switched schools, almost succeeded a couple of times, and relapsed into self harm… something she hated. i still pick at my skin, and think about joining my love pretty often. i was physically and verbally abused because a guy that tried to rape me while i was under the influence got mad when i rejected him. yeah i skipped a grade, but i lost everyone, and nobody believed in me until my name was read off at graduation. if i didnt have my partner at the time i would have broken down completely, theres no way i could come back from that much of a dark place and been okay.

- i got accepted into the college i wanted to go to

my car, the only thing that has consistently kept me hanging on to this life, was keyed while i was there. my roommates were toxic and lied to my partner to disrupt my relationship. i couldn’t focus on my classes because they would have people over until anywhere from midnight to 3am. i couldnt get a job because whenever i would show up in my usual dark outfits and makeup to any place in the little country town i would get great reviews as far as capabilities and qualifications go, but never a call back. id also get weird looks all the time, maybe im crazy and seeing things but when a bunch of boys say im scary looking and they feel threatened i dont always take it as a compliment. not to mention the sudden and horrific passing of my partner during finals, the event that drove me to dropping out. to this day im fighting for a refund, despite it all happening within the fall of 2022 semester.

- i drive a cool car and found a really neat interest

i hardly ever get compliments, and my car is damaged, though i’ll never say exactly where. theres chips in the paint where rust pokes through, a piece missing from my windows tint, sun damage on parts of my paint, scratches everywhere either from the keying or from her previous owners… i could point out every little flaw forever. i love my car so much, its crazy to me that i never realized earlier how much i love cars, but that doesn’t mean anybody else appreciates the work and money i put into my car to keep her clean and shiny. not to mention how misogynistic the car community is. its depressing to see some of the posts ive seen, saying how women terrible drivers and dont know anything about cars. not only is it depressing to see from some of my favorite content creators, but its making me want to stop trying. stop pouring so much effort into something nobody will appreciate except me. maybe this is dramatic, but its true to me. once every month or two it takes a few of my friends to convince me to keep trying and keep building her up, but when most of what i see is negativity its very hard to ignore. i dont need everyone to like my car, i dont need everyone to be accepting of women either, i just want to feel like im a part of a community i allign a lot with. isnt the whole point to bond over wanting to modify your car and watch the progress?

- i did great in band and survived all 3 years of marching band (remember, i skipped a year)

i havent touched my trumpet in forever and started smoking sophomore year from stress, right around the school change. i know its bad and will kill me someday, but do i really care? so what, im only alive today because of pure luck. its really sad to say, but i couldnt care less about when this all ends, all i want is to feel okay. i just want to have this small vice and if it kills me someday so be it. also, for every great achievement in band i screwed up a run equally as bad or just didnt even play the music. its hard to stay motivated in a place that hates you.

basically, for every achievement i can boast, there’s an equal or greater bad side to it. at least thats what it seems like. maybe im just negative, or maybe im realistic. why should i lie to myself anyways? my 12 year old self was great at every subject and at least tried to be happy and spread joy despite the bullying. she didnt know about her own abuse, from a family member no less. she didnt know why her step brother liked touching her privates or why he kept doing weird things with her dolls. now it just keeps happening, with everybody i hold close. not even just sexual assault, but manipulation ive learned to notice, straight up abuse that i never recognized. honestly, my current self sees no real value in doing really anything, i’ll lay in bed all day if i cant get up. i could have failed out of college and i couldnt even get a job until it was fully remote. i abuse my body and i cant stop, i dont know how. i smoked weed in college because i couldnt sleep or calm down and now most nights there are a blur, its all i had to cope while 1.5 hours away from my partner… when i had him. maybe its my fault, maybe i just screw up everything i touch like the inverse of midas. i cant tell, i just know im losing it.

#vent #tw sui vent #tw self destructive thoughts #tw smoking #tw death #tw drugs #tw self sabotage #tw suicide #tw self loathing #tw sex abuse #tw sexualization of minors #tw r@pe #tw vent #tw abuse

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watarulesbian · 1 year

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wataru hibiki my precious lil birdie aaaawwwwwww

anyway i wish i had the energy to think deep thoujghts about her . deep thoughts thatd make me feel like a real #1 wataruknower . i wish i had the will to get my ass over to some enstars stories featuring wataru and read them but i dont hav anyfucking will for anything but mindless scrolling and being pessimistic i was doing #stuff today and then i had a therapy appointment and bam rest of day wasted............................................................................................... besides when i painted for a while lol i got watercolor set for xmas and its quite fun

wataru is MINE!!!!!!!!!!! MY CHARACTER!!!!!!!!!!!! MY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE LEAVESME AWESTRUCK I CANT EVEN THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! unless youre one of my three friends from twitter (hi) you have NO IDEA of the extent. of how i so adore and love wataru. and even than thats not all of my love for her.

one thing tho i love when people draw her face very expressive. i wish i could do that in my own art of her........ im better than ai but worse than most actual artists :( i want to die because im not able to capture her accurately in artistic mediums but other people can? so MAD!!! KILL KILL DIE DIE DIE (to myself not to the wonderful talented artists who i admire very much)

idk i just feelt like shit lately. its because i havent gotten enough wataru. the enstar doctor perscribd me 10 hours of wataru hibiki a day and lately ive been getting like 2 a day when i NEED more than that i need. like 10! i need my mind to reboot my brain and maybe put a fucking timer on youtube because i keep looking at shitty uoiutube shorts WASTING MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE AWAY AND MAKING ME DEPRESSED AND DOOMFUL AND AAAARGHH

how many of you even know my name? i know 3 of you do (hi again)

tumblr isd better for making long incoherent posts huuuuu

need one of those send a number and ill give a ___ headcannon things ummmmmmmmmmmm idk i feel like all my awnsers to thosewould be dissapointingly bland and im scared that there will be something in cannon thatd contradict my hc (NOT LIKE A LESBIAN HC BUT LIKE A LIKE/DISLIKE THING) wataru is lesbian by the way and i think, as an autisticl esbian mysjmlf and YOUR wataru expert Wataru feels the isolations. the lesbian isolations. the autism isolations. maybe its weird and unrelated to what im saying here and it might sound even crude but whenever someone who previously idenntif as lesbian comes out as Not lesbian i feel a profound emptiness within me . and i know i should probably tell that to a therapist and not post it on tumblr for anyone whos former ident lesbian to see this and feel guilty or mad at me but i JUST had a therapy appointment today and need to get it out. its been in my brain for a long time. and ive of course ive come to recognize and get used to people changing, ive never thought or said to anyone “nooo you cant be _____ youre supposed to be my fellow lesbian :(” but i never see anyone ever talking about feeling sad when a lesbian they know turns out to Not be a lesbian except in the context of transphobia or homophobia. like im NOT one of those asses saying “a trans man? we lost a lesbian im so sad” “noo lesbi ann is dating a man and changing her name to bai sexxx this is so not her! come back lesbi ann!” im just saying i feel like when someone who previously idenntif as lesbian comes out as Not lesbian i feel a profound emptiness within me. and im NOT trying to guilt trip! and PLEASE dont be mad at me! and i get USED to people not being lesbian! the emptiness goes away after several months! but yea whatever

i want someone out there to make more art of eichi lovingly brushing and braiding watarus beautiful long hair. fic or art. or cannon for the love of god... theyd BOTH enjoy it the same amount im telling uou. even when they grow old together watarus hair is still long and still so nice and soft tbh like she got upset that it all turned white and talked about possibly dying it a lot but eichi is like My Wife Of Many Years You Are So Beautiful With White Hair You Are A Goddess. I Love It Just As Much As When It Was Blue. but in present time as 19 year old young lesbian lovers i just know wataru has falllen asleep while eichi runs his fingers through watarus wonderful amazing shiny superlong hair. i know wataru doesnt wanna like be asleep in front of people but as part of showing her human side more, i see her doing it tbh, eichi loves seeing his girlfriend asleep and is always like Awwww :3 wataru doing normal human things with eichi is actually cannon btw and im smiling thinking aboutt that

i want to write a magnus archives statement about watarus expieriences with a fountain (the stranger) she makes a foolish wish on that has her live a year where evgery day she wakes up in a different persons life and body and its totally torturous. after 365 days of that shes finally in the life and body of wataru hibiki again but she is incredibly traumatized . happier ending than most magnus archives statements because she is ALIVE with no physical injury and doesnt end up dying or anything. the stranger. i remember when i was really lttle i came across a ton of amazon reviews for a book that had a premise basically similar to this except itwas a creature who lived like this and it was a love story or something LET ME FIND IT HOLD ON

its called “Every Day” i found it lol

i never read it but i reacd the reviews 8 years ago so i feel like i know it well enough. it was easy to find by one single google search ahaha

i hsould be going to bed now thanks for listening tubmlmr

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bangkokmmorg · 2 years

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Lazy nezumi free version

LAZY NEZUMI FREE VERSION FOR FREE

LAZY NEZUMI FREE VERSION HOW TO

LAZY NEZUMI FREE VERSION SERIAL

LAZY NEZUMI FREE VERSION UPDATE

LAZY NEZUMI FREE VERSION FULL

LAZY NEZUMI FREE VERSION FOR FREE

Since, I have Paint Tool Sai & Photoshop CS6 downloaded for free I'll be testing Silky Shark on both of them for you all to see for yourselves. I do believe Silky Shark is compatible with any free art program such as Paint Tool Sai, GIMP, Medibang, FireAlpaca, Adobe Flash 8 (for animation), & many other programs but, with little space left in my laptop storage I can only review very little. There is another alternative BUT, the downfall is that I don't have a Mac PC so I can't download it for you all sadly, one day I hope to download Lazy Nezumi Pro for it's helpful programmer seller cause, I think they deserve more love than hate, I mean $35 for a program isn't a bad price unlike *cough* Photoshop CS6 itself.

LAZY NEZUMI FREE VERSION HOW TO

Like the title of this journal says it's a "free alternative" to Lazy Nezumi Pro for those who can't afford it like me, I'll be doing a YouTube video on how to download & Install it with no hassle.

LAZY NEZUMI FREE VERSION SERIAL

In the Lazy Nezumi Pro iso file you will find in crack folder the Lazy Nezumi Pro Crack, Lazy Nezumi Pro serial and Lazy Nezumi Pro activation. When you create a sketch or draw lines in any image editing software.

LAZY NEZUMI FREE VERSION FULL

It is full installer l for 32/64 Bit independent. Here is the Blog that I found Silky Shark on Lazy Nezumi Pro Download The latest version and fully setup for Windows. The Help/About Lazy Nezumi Pro menu of the app will show you which version you are running. You can also use it on any time frame that suits you best, from the 1 minute through to the 1-month charts.So, earlier this morning I was searching for a free alternative to this program called "Lazy Nezumi" since I won't be able to get paid until at the end of the month I've decided to open up Art Commissions for my Undertale Chibi art, if anyone is interested? If you're running into any trouble with Lazy Nezumi Pro, the first thing you should do is check that you're up to date. If more than one person will be using the software at the same time, such as in a company setting, you should purchase a Multi-User license, by entering more than 1 in the Number of Users box above. System can be used on any Forex currency pair and other assets such as stocks, commodities, cryptos, precious metals, oil, gas, etc. If you are the only person using the software, you can activate your license on up to three (3) machines, for your own personal use. This is helpful as it means you do not need to stare at the charts all day waiting for signals to appear, and you can monitor multiple charts all at once. You can set the LazyHedging indicator to send you a indication by Up and Down with Indication. Lag LazyHedging indicator is a Non-Repaint trading system usually being sold for 199. UDATE:I finally got Lazy Nezumi it was for free but it fully works on my Photoshop CS6.I havent tried it on Adobe Flash 8 but, Im going too for a future video. While traders of all experience levels can use this system, it can be beneficial to practice trading on an MT4 demo account until you become consistent and confident enough to go live. We are uploading EAs Indicators working 100 on real account. There still a few issues reported on the Logitech forums though. G-Hub is now on full release, and the current version seems to be problem free so far for me. I had to do a clean reinstall of Windows 10 to get past that. LazyHedgingindicator can give you trading signals you can take as they are or add your additional chart analysis to filter the signals further, which is recommended. I am pretty sure that an early beta version of Logitech's new G-Hub software stuffed Lazy Nezumi Pro. It catches very fast and profitable price movements and gives you easy BUY/ SELL signals.Įvery trading signal is very carefully verified by the system to produce only the highest probability trades.

LAZY NEZUMI FREE VERSION UPDATE

Just tried it myself and its pretty good so far, with its last update being four days ago, and it works on a couple of programs (Ive tried it with Paint Tool SAI, Photoshop, Clip Studio Paint, and. So, if you want really tight, smooth lineart, or just clean lines in general its pretty great. For anyone that liked Lazy Nezumi but cant drop thirty-five dollars for it, this program is pretty similar to it and its free and open-source. This is the complete offline setup of Lazy Nezumi which has excellent compatibility with all latest and famous 32bit and 64bit operating systems. Its called Lazy Nezumi, and its main function is to help smooth your strokes out when youre drawing. Click on the link given below to download Lazy Nezumi Pro free setup. Hey everyone, just wanted to bring to your attention a plugin that might be useful for you. This free forex indicator analyzes the price behavior on the chart every second and determines the ideal entry points based on the built-in algorithm, informing you when you need to open a deal and close it to take profit. Lazy Nezumi stroke smoothing for Photoshop. Lag LazyHedging indicator is a Non-Repaint trading system usually being sold for $199. We are uploading EAs Indicators working 100% on real account.

#Lazy nezumi free version

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risingroleakira · 2 years

Text

Introduction Post :V

Hey Critters! My name is Rose (they/them pronouns), and this is my Critical Role sideblog.

About me: I'm an lgbtq+ artist with too much free time, but not the functioning brain cells to use it properly. I like to draw/paint, worldbuild, tend to my OCs, daydream to music, all that good stuff. Occasionally I also write, conlang (badly), play videogames, text rp w/friends, and/or whatever other stuff my messy brain decides I'm supposed to be doing today (...while giving only half the motivation necessary for me to actually do or complete any of that 'stuff'). Most of the time I'm nocturnal, especially when it comes to catching CR3 episodes as they air, but my sleep schedule still flips around quite a lot so that might differ from day to day.

This is my sideblog, risingroleakira, mainly for Critical Role content and discussions of adjacent series. For my artwork, visit my art blog, risingroseart ...and maybe drop some reblogs while you're there! (This blog also includes my critical role art.) For minecraft and (non-dsmp) MCYT content, visit miningroseakira. I hope I dont scare you off with my wild-ass headcanons lol For my main blog, where I mostly just reblog random stuff and talk sometimes, visit risingroseakira. it's a hot mess, ngl

Critical Role related info:

When did I start watching?

I caught the first half of C3E1 as it aired, then had to stop watching and stopped for a while. A couple months later I binged that and all the other episodes that had aired since then.

What campaigns/Series have I watched?

Finished or up-to-date: > I watch Critical Role C3 as it airs > I watch 4-Sided Dive as it airs > I watched EXU:Calamity as it aired > I watched EXU:Kymal as it aired Work in Progress: >I started watching Campaign 1's original Briarwood Arc, as I cannot watch TLOVM due to the visual violence that I can't stomach. However I have yet to finish it oops- > I have attempted Campaign 2 several times and it didn't work out as I couldn't get past Episode 3 - until now. As of writing, I'm at C2E53. I'm slowing down again but I'm doing my best to continue on.

Current favorite player characters?

> Ashton > Orym > Caleb > Fjord, I think. > Dorian (sorta, it's just been a while since we've seen him, is all.) > ...Well, I would count a majority of the Hells. Between the lot of them it shifts around frequently. those three above are the most consistently at the top ones but it's generally almost the whole group. almost. >Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III, even though I still havent finished the briarwood arc. that was from memory I hope I got it right

Current favorite NPCs?

I have got to give top spot to Lord Eshteross in C3. Imahara Joe and Captain Xandis are also high up, I like Milo, and in terms of C2 I like Bryce and, well, who doesn't enjoy Pumat (plural)

Favorite characters to draw or paint?

Ashton, hands down. I mean, FCG is also really fun, and I havent rlly gotten to draw a lot of characters from CR other than Ashton and FCG, but like. come on. How can you not love drawing the nonbinary punk rock. How can you not enjoy painting their colorful gem and crystal hair and golden cracks and funky eyes and- Anyway that's my introduction post! I’d love to meet some fellow critters - especially newbies that love the bells hells as well, seeing as I’m a bit anxious in new fandoms and therefore more comfy with people who are also new to everything. Still - feel free to say hi whether new or old fan of cr! :]

#cr #pinned post

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iwadori · 3 years

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When they neglect you for another girl Part 4 (Sakusa)

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five

Word Count: 2.6K

Genre: Angst to Fluff

masterlist

AN: YES I DID PUT MYSELF IN THIS STORY! SUE ME. This is basically inspired by a random conversation i had w the great @teesumu, so this is basically for you doll <3

Sakusa:

You and Sakusa have been together for a around 10 years and love eachother immensly.

However recently Sakusa has been busy and you havent really had much time together lately as he claims been busy doing loads of visits with his new agent.

But of course, being the loving partner you are you wanted to revive the spark in your relationship.

You have been seeing a lot of people on social media posting their aesthetic ‘picnic dates,’ and you knew that this was something that appealed to you before it was ‘on trend.’ Kiyoomi immediately came to your mind once you had the idea of going on a date. You knew that you haven’t be around each other lately, as Kiyoomi always had either a ‘meeting’ or some sort of ‘interview’ that his new agent “Empress” has set up for him.

You didn’t really know Empress that well, just that she was ‘good at her job,’ a ‘hard and dilligent worker,’ and a ‘raging hottie’ with Atsumu’s opinion being the last one. You weren’t suspecting her to have any malicious intent towards you or Kiyoomi, since you knew that he had a great judge of character. But it was just odd, that every time Kiyoomi was running late or having ‘super-secret’ conversations on the phone it was always because ‘my agent set up this,’ ‘my agent set up that,’ and that’s what left you a bit wary.

As you were scrolling through your phone you see a calendar updating saying : Next Week‘ A DECADE AGO WE FELL IN LOVE.’

10 years. How could you forget? You and Omi have literally been together for a decade. You think back to the decade of madness and love you’ve been through together, smiling fondly to yourself but then you think about where you are now... barely even talking to each other, only mainly seeing him when he comes home from work.

You need to fix this. Or at least make an attempt to get you and Kiyoomi talking again. So, the only thing you can do, is plan that picnic.

You spent the rest of the day planning your anniversary picnic. ’It’s going to be great,’ you think to yourself, you have a list of all Omi’s favorite foods you're going to make him and bring and you are probably going to pick up a few board games and maybe even get some paint supplies. You and Kiyoomi used to paint a lot together, with the two of you not being the best of painters, but you enjoyed eachothers company non the less.

Everything was sorted...for the most part. All you needed to do was get Omi there, and it’ll all be okay. Right? As you were bubbling and looking for more picnic inspo, you hear your front door open which made you even more excited to tell your boyfriend your plans.

As you rush to go greet him, you see he’s on the phone making you roll your eyes. “No Empress it won’t work, we need this sorted by next week. Okay? Next week.” he says in an agitated way. He hangs up the phone and sighs, shoving off his duffel bag.

“Hey Omi, how was your day?” you say a bit hesitant, noticing his annoyed mood.

“Fine” He said dismissively, aiming to walk past you aiming for your bedroom.

“Oh well I have something amazing planned for ne-” you try to say following after him.

“Can we not do this right now Y/N,” he says again turning too look at you making you frown a bit, all you wanted to do is surprise him with your plans and have a day out with him. After noticing your sad look he finishes with “it’s just that Empress she’s bee-”

“I don’t want to hear about her.” you say bitterly folding your arms, Empress is the last person you want to hear about right now “God Omi can’t you just care about me? For once.”

“I do I-”

“You don’t anymore,” you say, with all the emotions and feelings you’ve been just supressing from a while coming up. You don’t even know how you got from point A to B with this conversation, but there's no stopping now. “I feel that, for a while now we haven’t been how we were before when we were just Y/N and Kiyoomi. Instead of how we are now. Just Y/N. Then Kiyoomi and Empress.”

After hearing his agents name, Kiyoomi’s name contorts to confusion “Empress? What does she have to do with anything?”

“How can you not see? For the past month all it’s been is ‘Empress this’ ‘Empress that,’” you complain “Having your super secret conversations with her, like god Kiyoomi can’t you see a problem with this?”

“It’s not like that Y/N, we’re just work partners” he says looking a bit annoyed “Just business.”

“Just business? So Kiyoomi, what were you talking about on the phone earlier” you say with your voice slight accusingly.

“Umm I, I can’t really say?” he says more of a question then a fully assured statement. You squint your eyes at him and scoff.

“What is going on with you Omi?” you say “are you cheating on me with her is that it?”

“No, no of course not Y/N! How could you even ask that?” he frowned at your question making your chest hurt, since deep down you knew he could never do that to you. Could he?

“Well tell me then, what were you talking about?” you ask again.

“I can’t say..” he finishes

“Well I can’t stay.” you say and his face goes back to confusion “Here. With you.”

“What do you mean Y/-”

“I need a break or something. I just can’t be here right now.” You start to rush and pack a big of things whilst Kiyoomi just stands there.

After you pack up your stuff, you look back and see Kiyoomi just there. Standing. You were upset, you kind of wanted him to rush after you and beg you not to leave, but he was just there. Standing. So you put the hand on the door and just before you leave you turn back and say “bye Sakusa, see you later?” to which you see him slightly nod at.

When the door shut, Kiyoomi starts to cry. After hearing you call him by his last name really twisted the knife that was already in his heart. You haven’t called him that since you were like 15. He knew what you wanted; he knew you wanted him to rush towards you and beg you not to leave, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. But what he could do is call the one person he only could call.

After a few rings, he hears “What do you need Saku?”

“She’s gone, she left.”

“What do you mean she’s gone, did you tell her?”

“No I didn’t tell her. And that’s the problem, Empress she think-”

“Saku, don’t worry about it. I’ll handle it.”

“You’ll handle it?”

“Don’t I always?”

He couldn’t argue with that, he just had to trust that Empress could sort it. “And also, don’t spend the week with your head up your ass crying, you’ve got a lot of grovelling to do kiddo.”

He nodded even though she couldn’t see him, as he knew that what just went down needed to be resolved, fast.

Meanwhile, on your end. You’re a mess. Sobbing all the time, tissues are your best friend, you’ve been waiting just waiting for a message or a call, or some form of communication. You just wanted to feel wanted by your boyfriend (can you even call him that now.)

You spent the rest of the week at your parents, immersing yourself in your work and doing ‘self care’ things, trying to forget all about the argument you and Kiyoomi had.

One day, you receive a letter, it wasn’t delivered by a mail man though. It was slid under your door, in a golden envelope sealed with a red hot wax seal. It read:

‘Dear Y/N,

My sweetheart, im sorry for how the week has been and I know a letter with only a fraction of how I feel won’t make up for how I acted that day. But im inviting you to join me at the Gardenia Botanical Gardens at 2 pm tommorow, to celebrate our 10 year anniversary.

I know there is a big chance, you may not want to see me and I understand but please. I love you, so so much, that words can’t even describe. But I need you to see me apologise and I need to make it up to you.

I hope to see you there, I’d wait the whole day for you. If you don’t show, I understand.

Sincerely, Sakusa Kiyoomi

P.S The theme is ‘summer hot day, tea with the queen’ - Atsumu’

You smile at the letter, but wonder if you should actually go or not. You did want to see him of course and get this all resolved, but you had your own plans for your anniversary which wouldn’t of been spoiled if he didn’t withhold his super-secret phone calls.

It took you hours to contemplate on what to do, but you decided to just sleep on it and see how you feel tomorrow. In the morning, you knew what you wanted to do. Of course, you had to go, at least to hear him out and see if he really did cheat on you or not. For all you know he’s inviting you to tell you that he’s going to run away with his agent and his secret kids they had together. You shook the negative thoughts from your head and just repeated your mantra ‘hope for the best and prepare for the worst.’

When you got there, you didn’t exactly know where he would be but he said ‘botanical gardens’ so of course you decided to just wander around there. It was nice walking around and just smelling the roses, and seeing the pretty scenery.

“Excuse me ma’am,” you hear someone say tugging on your leg “um that mister over there told me to give you these.” Looking down, you see a small boy who looked about the age of four with a crumpled up bunch of roses handing them to you.

“Oh thank you,” you say giving the kid a head pat “where is this ‘mister’ might I ask?”

“He’s over there!” The kid pointed behind him and you look to see Kiyoomi sitting under a white gazebo which is surrounded in your favorite flowers and the table is filled with food.

You walk over to your ‘boyfriend,’ with him not noticing your present yet. When you reach him you say “I think she stood you up buddy,” you joke making him jump abit startled.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, instantly beaming “You came you made it!” he stood up and pulled you into a hug, which you return before you remember why you came here in the first place.

“Oh I-” he says awkwardly

You decide to sit down pulling him down with you. You kind of sit there in uncomfortable silence, for a while until you both say.

“So I-”

“What are yo-”

You both laughed at your simultaneous comments, before Kiyoomi looks at you letting you speak. “What did you want to bring me here for?”

“I didn’t want, what happened last week to happen Y/N I-” he says looking a bit panicked “It wasn’t supposed to go this way.”

“Then how was it meant to go Sakusa.”

“Y/N, please don’t call me that, I know I made you upset but pleas-” he starts before getting distracted again “Y/N, I called you here to say a few things..”

“Them being.?” you ask a bit impatiently.

“I love you. I love you so much, you don’t even understand. Ever since I saw you at my volleyball game in our first year, in the stands just cheering us on. I knew that from that day, after I scored the winning point and our eyes met, that we were destined to be together. I just love you so much Y/N”

“Omi I don’t understand I-”

“Just let me finish please, It’s taken a while for me to say this. And trust me, there’s been so many times when I wanted to just say ‘hey Y/N let’s get married,’ but I couldn’t I was scared, and I wanted it to be perfect, so perfect. Because you deserve the world Y/N. That’s why I got Empress to help, I know that our conversations may seem odd, but I love you and she knows that she just wanted to help trust me. And she did, all this wouldn’t of been done if it wasn’t for her. But anyways Y/N what I waned to say was I love you and I love you and I-” he rambles on loosing track of his words.

But in the midst of his speech, you hear all that you needed and responded with the only way you can.

“Yes.” you say simply, with a growing smile on your face.

“Yes?” he repeats confused “What do you meann ye- ohhh" Kiyoomi blushes embarrased that after all that he ended up ruining the thought out proposal he wanted to give you with his ramble.

“Im sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean to say it like that I wanted it to be perfect and I-”

You shut him up with a kiss making his eyes widen as he reciprocates it anyways.

“What did she say?” you hear someone shout from a far, and you look over to see the MSBY Jackals all standing there with shit eating grins on their faces.

“I said yes!” you yell back, to which they all cheer and rush towards you guys giving you both hugs and slapping Kiyoomi on the back.

As the boys celebrate Omi finnally do what he’s been planning for ages, you get approached by Empress who awkwardly walks up to you. “ I didn’t want to leave the impression that me and Saku were any sort of thing?” she says

“Yeah I think it was definitely a big misunderstanding, it’s just that Omi was never around and whenever he was he was just talking to you and you know how it is.”

“I definitely know, I’d feel the same way if my boyfriend did that to me.”

“Oooh boyfriend?” you ask her feeling nosey on her romantic life.

“Yeah boyfriend. You know iwaizumi hajime... the trainer?” she says smiling a bit when she said his name.

“The trainer! Nice.”

The rest of the night was fun and was basically an engagement party for you and Omi all you and friends just partying and celebrating yours and Omi’s love for each other. “Omi” you say getting his attention “Happy ten year anniversary babe”

“Happy anniversary, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

After the party you spend your months now planning for a big fat wedding, with the help of your new found bestie, Empress (who you obviously misjudged from the start.) You and Omi could never be happier, every thing was back to how it was before, maybe even better. And you definitely spent at least two Saturdays a month going out for picnics and it was now a tradition in your relationship, so in the end you did get your ‘aesthetic picnic date.’

AN: WHAT DID U GUYS THINK??

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x reader comfort #haikyuu fluff #sakusa x you #sakusa headcanons #haikyu angst #sakusa fluff #sakusa x reader #sakusa oneshot #haikyu sakusa #signedwithane😌

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