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albatmobile · 1 year

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The Art of Rehabilitating Snowbirds Chapter 18

𓅪 After not hearing from Roy or Jason for five years, you suddenly find yourself taking in extra income as a babysitter for their child.

𓅪 Rated: M | TW: weed, underage drinking, slur | 4.5k includes: jayroy moments, under the influence makeup application

fem!Reader x Jason Todd x Roy Harper [masterlist]

Chapter 18: Call Me in the Afternoon | ao3 - wattpad

THEN

Whatever you and Damian had going on had been, well, going on for a little over a month.

Now, he hesitated more than usual when you wanted to hang out with his brother and Roy and you really kind of fucking hated it. Damian was your best friend. Did he really think his brother would take you away from him or something?

What made that day even worse was Dick’s dramatic ass being present.

“We have a project today,” Roy jerked his head at Jason, who was already ascending upstairs. “You coming or what?”

You hesitantly looked at Damian, who frowned in response, “I thought we were doing still lifes in the foyer.”

You tried so hard not to laugh at his use of the word ‘foyer,’ but Roy’s shit-eating grin ultimately won out. Before you could stop it, you unwittingly released a giggle you would’ve normally held back had his dumbass not been there.

Roy, noticing Dick’s ‘big brother lecture face’ forming, quickly fled in the direction Jason had gone.

“Damian’s a proper gent,” Dick pouted. He then scooped up a very reluctant Damian into his arms, who fought his grip every step of the way, “Don’t make fun of my baby bird.”

You shook your head, holding up your pinkie, “Of course not.”

Damian relinquished himself from Dick’s jacked arms with a flustered grumble, ridding himself of invisible dust as soon as his feet hit the floor.

“Father will be needing me anyway,” It was spoken slowly as if he were trying to send you a message. Whatever it was, you weren’t understanding. “I don’t expect to be back before you leave.”

“Okay.”

This had happened a few times and you’d become somewhat accustomed to it. Usually, when he and Bruce had whatever bonding Damian was talking about, you’d just wander off and bother whoever was around the manor, even if it was just Titus.

“I’ll be leaving now, then.”

You nodded, not understanding why he was still in front of you.

“Okay, sounds good,” You gave him an unsure thumbs up.

“You’re not understanding,” He ‘tch’ed and stepped in front of you. “I want a kiss,” He said your last name.

“Oh,” Your face flushed with warmth as soon as he took a step closer to you. “Okay.”

You glanced over his shoulder where Dick was obnoxiously fangirling, but his cool hand on the heat of your cheek drew you back to him as he lightly pecked your lips with his.

The brief chasteness of the moment lasted mere seconds before he pulled away and attempted to lead away Dick; though it didn't stop him from shooting a barrage of questions your way.

Uh.

“You guys a thing?” Tim startled you, seemingly stepping out of the shadows.

“Tim,” You laughed lightly, placing a hand over your heart for the startle he’d caused. “I- I’m not quite sure.” It was the truth. Even what he’d just done had been a surprise to you. “You know how he is with feelings.”

That earned a chuckle from Tim, “You’re right.” He motioned you to follow him, so you did. “You finally wanna see my collection?”

Tim had teased you about his comic collection before the incident, but he’d never been around to follow through. That and Damian wouldn’t leave the two of you alone, claiming, “Too much nerd talk could be lethal.”

“Was that a joke?” You’d asked Damian.

He cursed your last name, “I tell plenty of jokes; it’s not my fault you idiots don’t pick up on them.”

But, alas, Damian was gone.

Tim held your hand as he showed you the bulk of his stuff and leaned over your shoulder, pressing his front into your back as he maneuvered to show you one of his favorites. “Oh wow! I’ve never read this one before.”

It was a rare Green Arrow comic.

You flipped over to the back carefully. Your fingers appreciatively fanned across its glossy cover.

“Now, I can tell you all about that one, princess,” Roy’s sultry voice startled you from behind.

What was up with everyone sneaking up on you today?

“You actually like comics?” You were confused. Roy had only ever made fun of your obsession, but he had technically brought you all those Flash comics. You blushed, realizing you’d never thought to question if they were his, even though you realized he had mentioned reading through them.

“Nah. Not anymore, really, but I know plenty about ‘em,” He smirked at Tim’s deadpan stare.

If Roy had black hair, you’d swear he was just another one of the Wayne brothers with how they gave each other shit so easily.

Tim sighed from beside you, shaking his head slightly as you slid the comic back into place on the shelf. Tim had yet to move away from you. The close contact that remained left you worried that your heart was beating loud enough for both boys in the room to hear it.

The awkward silence lingered, though you attempted to fight it with your ever-present charm, “Cool.”

You pretended to keep looking through the comics hoping either: Tim would move away or Roy would leave. Whichever made this weird situation end faster, that was for fucking sure.

“Yep,” He popped the ‘p’ on the word as he looked between you and Tim, unimpressed.

You tilted your head at his questioning gaze before switching the topic altogether at the unexpected tension building in the room, “What are you up to?”

He winked so quickly you thought you’d imagined it, “Tag along and find out.”

You stepped out of Tim’s unintentional embrace to join Roy at his side. You motioned back to the raven-haired teen with your head, “Come on, Tim.”

He cleared his throat and looked back at the shelves in front of him, “You go ahead. I’m supposed to meet Stephanie on a date.”

“You guys are back on?” It’s a question obviously for Tim, but Roy’s attention is pointedly locked on you, “That’s awesome, bud.”

You brushed off Roy’s odd behavior and wished him luck on his date before following Roy out of the room.

Roy snorted as soon as you closed in on Jason’s room, “You and these fucking Waynes.”

“Fucks that mean, Harper?” You smacked him on the arm, “I like you just as much.”

“Well, ain’t that a relief,” He wiped imaginary sweat from his forehead, easily avoiding the shoulder punch you sent his way.

“Heyy,” Jason drawled lazily upon your arrival.

You hitched a questioning brow in response, “Sup.”

Jason made some dumb sign with his hands as he slightly swayed back and forth. However, it wasn’t until he complimented you that you truly caught on to what was going on.

Sure, that one night in the library, he’d been pretty drunk, but this? This seemed like a blackout kind of drunk. Jason’s angsty ass + blackout drunk… yeah, you didn’t think it added up to anything good.

“You look so good always, but your makeup,” He hiccuped and sloshed around whatever alcohol was in the bottle in the process. “You’re… when you do the makeup- looks really good, y’know?”

Damn, he was really far gone.

“Project, huh?” You shot Roy a wary look. “Just how much has he had to drink?”

With how he was acting, there was no way he hadn’t already been sloshed before coming home. You shook your head, wondering why Jason was acting out like this all of a sudden.

“You can do my makeup, y’know?” Jason slapped at your thigh from the floor to get your attention again.

Roy sighed, “Enough for the man to want his makeup done, I s’ppose,” Roy held in a hiccup of his own, but your narrowed eyes to let him know you were on to him too.

How much could two teenagers possibly drink in like… twenty minutes? You know what, never mind, you didn’t want to know.

“Your eyeliner always looks so good, babe. S’really not fair,” He pulled you to the ground and dug through your backpack for whatever emergency makeup you had stashed away in there.

You cocked your head in question but nodded anyway. “You’d look really good with eyeliner.”

“Oh, I know.”

You laughed, “Roy, you in?” He gave you a dubious look, but you just shrugged, “It’s only fair.”

He sighed, giving in. “Yeah, fine, but I get to do yours.”

You were already wearing mascara, but that was about it. Letting Roy anywhere near your eyes with a liquid eyeliner pen seemed like a disaster waiting to happen. There was no way the look was going to come out decent.

Yes, decent was the standard here, so you knew you were definitely drawing the short end of the stick. Anything to keep Jason happy, though, you supposed.

“Oh god,” You pulled out your one palette, your blush, mascara, and eyebrow fixings and got to work. “This definitely isn’t sanitary,” You trailed off, drowned out by Roy’s cackles like you’d just said the funniest thing he’d ever heard or some shit.

Jason’s eyes were slightly hooded, whereas Roy’s were larger and slightly buggy-looking. The application would have to differ on each of their eyes, you realized.

“Will you make me beautiful?”

Your hand paused with your brush right above his cheeks as his words settled over the quiet of the room, “You’re already beautiful, Jason.”

There seemed to be no need for blush with how rosy his cheeks had turned, but you applied it anyway.

“Sometimes I don’t feel it.”

Your heart clenched and you definitely wished you also had something to drink. Anything to quell the guilt of hearing him spill his heart so freely to you.

How could someone who looked like Jason be so… so… unsure of themselves?

Whereas you felt like a loser, he knew he was a badass with enough swagger to put even Roy to shame.

There was no way he could be insecure. He looked like a literal god and his every glance your way practically sent your knees wobbling.

“Jay,” Roy shifted to sit beside him, shaking his shoulder slightly as he grabbed the bottle from his grasp. What little was left of the amber fluid crashed hollowly against its glass confines as he did so. “I think you’re good on the Woodford, buddy.”

“That’s rich, Roy,” Jason huffed. “What? A guy expresses his fucking feelings and, all of a sudden, I’ve had too much?”

Jason ripped the bottle from Roy’s hand and chugged a few satisfying gulps before passing the bottle off to you. He wiped haphazardly at his face while his lidded eyes drank in the sight of your lips touching where his had just been.

Feeling a cottony edge to your thoughts and a familiar warmth to your face, the playing field felt even once again.

Roy held up his hands in faux-surrender before gesturing for you to hand the bottle his way.

Jason welcomed you back as you positioned yourself to begin his eye makeup, wrapping his arms around your waist and tugging you close against his chest, “Y’need to be close for this shit.”

You snorted, “How would you know?”

“Sometimes I practice,” He shrugged, looking at you for a reaction and very pointedly avoiding Roy’s. “Y’hafta get close to the mer-or… the mare-er,” He huffed, looking at you to finish his slurred sentence.

“The mirror?”

Jason’s hand, seemingly out of anxiety from his admittance, jerked to rub at his eyes. The movement stopped just before he got close enough to the makeup for you to warn him. “Yeah, that shit.”

You heard Roy shift from behind you, but Jason’s grip on you was unrelenting.

Ever-present charm, where did you go?

A joke. Yes, a joke during this delicate situation.

“So, we’re using my shit because…?” You waited with bated breath for his response, hoping he wouldn’t misinterpret it and get defensive.

To your relief, he giggled. Absolutely downright giggled. You found yourself responding in the same way.

“Because you own shit they don’t sell at a 7/11,” After the two of you were all giggled out, Jason stole the mirror to check himself over.

“Fair enough,” You bit your lip and continued your work.

You thought back to how your main supply of makeup came from stealing things from your parent’s bathroom. Your mom always stole the good shit and never stuck around long enough to use any, so who was it really hurting to take it?

Jason was making it extremely difficult to focus when his hands were running up and down your sides and along the curve of your back mindlessly.

You realized he was probably just anxious with Roy there. You’d never heard him be so quiet, but his wandering hands had you death gripping the eyeliner. You could hardly subdue the urge to arch into his touch.

Your wings on him weren’t dramatic, just enough to highlight his natural eye shape without overcrowding his hooded eyelid. You hated when you realized you were running out of steps and would soon be forced to leave his embrace. You added the highlighter and mascara before forcing yourself away from him to inspect your work.

“Done. Roy,” You turned around, still somewhat on Jason’s lap, glancing at him out of the corner of your eyes, “Compliment him.”

Roy eyed your curves up and down as it remained within Jason’s grasp, nodding absentmindedly, “Yeah, looks good.”

“Roy, you’re not even looking at him,” You rolled your eyes and motioned him closer.

He took a swig from the bottle, wiped his slick lips and scooted closer with a sigh, “Yup, still looks good.” Though he wasn’t able to maintain eye contact with Jason and Jason was noticing.

You climbed off of him to straddle Roy and began work on beating his face to perfection with the little amount of shit you had.

Jason’s look was slightly smokey, sharp and simple, but for Roy you gave a more iridescent highlighter-driven look, emphasizing his lighter complexion and hair. Instead of the liquid black liner you’d used on Jason, you chose a brown eyeliner pencil and smudged it into the peachy highlighter you’d smeared across his freckled lids.

Jason watched awestruck as the look came together, “Roy.” Roy refused to look at him and you shuffled awkwardly, feeling the tension steadily build. “Roy, you look good,” Roy cut off your movements to chug the bottle again. “Look at me. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Chill out, bro,” Roy’s voice sounded strained.

Your hands, once again, stilled over his face.

“What? Suddenly you can’t bear to face me? You’ve got the same shit on your face,” Jason’s hands jerked around somewhat uncontrollably.

You hadn’t realized you'd startled away from his reach until you felt the reassuring pressure of Roy's thumbs against your bare skin. You released a breath you’d been holding as he rubbed soothing circles where your shirt had ridden up, exposing the skin of your hip in the process.

You’d known Jason could get angry, but adding alcohol into the mix created an unknown edge you weren’t sure you wanted to bear witness to.

“You’re hot, Jason. I can practically see myself blowing you in a bar restroom now, dude. Is that what you wanted to hear?” Jason grumbled and pulled out his phone to check out your handy work. The mood instantly calmed because, apparently, that was exactly what Jason had wanted to hear. You relaxed into Roy’s touch and quickly finished his face off with mascara, “God damn, I need a joint.”

He went to rub at his eyes, but you smacked his forearm away in an instant. “Don’t touch your face before you’ve even seen it.”

Roy groaned like he was at the end of his ever-abundant patience, “I don’t hate many things, but this?” Roy gestured to Jason and the makeup on the floor, “I hated this.”

“Whatever,” You tried to hide your pout as you pulled out your phone’s camera to show him, but Jason had stolen it while you’d been preoccupied with Roy’s face.

Roy quickly produced his own phone, glancing at the screen for no more than five seconds before nodding, “Let me do your shit so I can roll up, princess.”

You traced your index finger from the collar of his school shirt down to the middle button and backed up again shyly. “You don’t have to, you know.”

The last thing you wanted to do was keep Roy in a shitty mood when Jason was already in one.

You looked up to see his barely hidden smirk, “Well, now I’ve gotta.”

There was nothing relaxing about Roy’s application process.

From the eye jabbing and assault of blush on your cheeks, you knew you’d definitely drawn the short end of the stick. Jason, as drunk as he was, probably could’ve done a better job than Roy’s clown academy look, which left much to be desired.

Jason continued to touch his face while Roy set about silently breaking down the shell and then the bud. It’s only when he lit it that Jason pulled himself away from the camera.

“Damn,” Jason breathed, crawling over to invade the rest of Roy’s personal space that you weren’t taking up.

Roy snorted, drawing in a cloud of smoke until it protruded from his mouth like a bubble before fully exhaling right into Jason’s room. You knew Jason had to be pretty fucked up to smoke inside, but if it meant not having to go outside in the chilly weather, you were all for it.

“Yeah, shit’s fat, right?” The smoke leaked from his chapped lips with each word.

“No, not that,” Jason shook his head and took Roy’s face into his hands, turning it over haphazardly to take it all in. “You said you’d blow me?”

Roy choked on his next hit, sending him into a coughing fit that sent you scrambling from your spot on Roy’s lap. Jason wasted no time in replacing you atop Roy.

You took in the new positions from a breath away with widened eyes.

“Jay, you’re drunk.” Roy batted away Jason’s wandering hands and handed the blunt to you so he could better fend him off. “Jay, baby, sto-”

Roy was cut off by Jason’s lips and you’re pretty sure you’re the one who gasped, but you couldn’t be sure when Jason was moaning like a paid whore.

What surprised you more was how Roy took it all in stride.

It should come as no surprise that Jason was an aggressive kisser. His face looked almost pained with his drawn brows as his teeth clashed against Roy’s.

Roy split away with a wrecked pant, shooting you a quick, hazy quirk of his reddened lips before diving right back in. This time, he met Jason’s tongue with his own, visibly flicking and prodding them against each other in the minimal space between them. The kiss was over the top, seemingly for your entertainment, as Roy slurped Jason’s tongue lewdly into his mouth.

You sucked on the end of the joint as you watched the scene in front of you unfold.

Your stomach felt a steady tickling coolness spread upward from the hot slick in your panties as the blanketing effects of the weed kicked in. If you hadn’t been so confused by the situation, you might’ve spread your legs to show them the wet spot that was overtaking the lace of your red thong.

Instead, you sat there gripping the blunt and the hem of your skirt to prevent your hands from wandering to where they were itching to go.

It wasn’t working.

Your thighs spread without your permission. Soon, your arm dragged your clenched hand closer to your pulsating heat, exposing more of your thigh in the process as it did.

Their moans rang out in unison and you unwittingly bucked into your planted forearm, clenching down around nothing at the teasing contact. You watched helplessly, willing yourself to actually touch yourself until you could no longer ignore that the bottle was in prime position to spill all over Jason’s carpet.

Damn, it sucked being the responsible one of the bunch.

You released the fabric of your skirt to grab the spilling whiskey that dripped from Roy’s distracted hand while Jason ground down against him. Upon grabbing the bottle, Roy seemed to startle back to reality and the moment abruptly ceased.

He pushed Jason off of him hastily and your hand retreated from its precarious position in the same manner.

“Yoooo,” Roy shook his head, running his fingers through his hair repeatedly. “What the fuck, dude?”

Jason’s face dropped and you’re pretty sure Roy could see how you’d also been taken aback by his reaction. How could you not when the redhead’s previous reaction had been so…?

“Fuck you,” Jason grabbed the blunt from your grasp as he got up to walk to the balcony, leaving Roy and you to stare after his retreating form.

Of course his dramatic ass had to throw open the glass doors, leaving them to smack against the wall in his wake.

The glass continued to reverberate in their frames, while Jason moved to grip the balcony railing like it was going to disappear from existence. The only movement was his arm moving robotically to put the blunt to his mouth and the smoke that plumed from it.

At least you weren’t the only one in the manor getting the runaround.

•

“Wake up, dumbass,” You awoke with a snort to Damian’s disgusted face standing over you. “You reek like skunk.”

“Shut up,” You sniffed at your uniform only to wince. “Fuck, you’re right.”

“I’m always right,” He said your last name.

You groaned as you got up from the couch, searching desperately for something, anything to help you out, when it dawned on you.

You turned to Damian so quickly, not even he was expecting it, “Give me one of your extra jackets.”

“What?” His annoyed glare bore through you, but you weren’t giving in and you definitely weren’t going to be late.

You glared at him until he wordlessly retrieved his other clean jacket and handed it over to you.

“Fuck off,” You hissed as you attempted to slide it on, but it was like putting Polly Pocket clothes on a Barbie. “Why are you so fucking skinny, dude?”

“I’m muscular and lean,” He insisted with crossed arms. “Not skinny.”

“You’re a child’s XS,” You pointed out, reading from the tag with slight disdain.

“So what?!” He defensively stole the jacket back from you, wiping it off like you’d ruined it the second you’d touched it.

You stated the obvious, “This shit isn’t going to fit me.” Suddenly, you brightened up, snapping your fingers, “Cologne! Give me your cologne!” Damian rolled his eyes but took much less persuading than last time for him to return, but this time it was with a glass bottle of Prada. You gave it a few good spritzes before handing it back to a blushing Damian, “What?”

“Nothing, you just smell,” He shook his head, motioning you downstairs. “Nothing.”

You bumped into his shoulder, “You know, as my best friend, you’re morally obligated to tell me if I still stink like weed.”

“Definitely not marijuana,” He appeared resolute, so you dropped it.

You were about to talk to him about the upcoming collage project when you heard him.

“Say something, Bruce. SAY IT!” Jason lowered his voice, gritting his teeth.

You weren’t completely able to make out what he was saying, but he seemed to be barely holding out on hitting his dad right then and there.

“Master, Jason,” You came around the banister to see Alfred placing a placating hand on Jason’s shoulder.

You only barely stopped yourself from gasping when you saw your smokey eye was still very much present on his face. Your eyes shifted briefly to Damian, who looked extremely confused by the recent revelation.

“Yeah, your son’s got fucking fag ‘tendencies,’” He used air quotes around the last word, “Isn’t that what you called Dick’s relationship with Wally?” Jason shook his head like he was disgusted with him. “Like your whole polygamist-playboy shit isn’t the real uncouth situation here, Brucie?”

“Jason,” Bruce’s warning tone was losing patience by the second. “All I asked was if you did that to yourself. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong-”

“Yeah,” Jason hissed, “You didn’t have to say anything for me to understand that you think there’s something wrong with me,” He scoffed, pushing past Bruce’s muscular build to exit the manor. “All because of some dumb pigment on my face? Fuck you, Bruce,” He hesitated, taking in the room with a visible tremble. “And, yeah, I like cock.”

The door slammed, announcing his rattling exit.

Two for two on the manor’s doors; you had to give him kudos as you thought back to the balcony doors last night.

Bruce sighed and slumped down in one of the dining room chairs. His hand gratefully reached for Alfred’s, which had come to rest on his shoulder.

Family, no matter what it looked like, you supposed, was a complicated balancing act you weren’t sure anyone had mastered.

Least of all you.

Least of all the Waynes.

•

“You reek,” Is how he greeted you when you sat in your usual seat in English.

You quickly picked at your collar, then looked around to see if anyone was paying attention to you. Who were you kidding? No one at school gave a fuck about you. Everyone milled about their pre-class business, leaving you and Jason undetected in the privacy of your usual corner.

“There’s no way," You insisted, inhaling deeply but only smelled Damian's pungent Prada. "I put on Damian’s cologne,” You leaned in and had him sniff as well, which he did, albeit reluctantly, after you'd motioned him in closer.

"Ew," He wrinkled his nose in disgust.

“What?” You startled backward and looked around to see if anyone else had caught the smell before turning back swiftly, “Jason, what?”

“Next time, ask for mine.”

“Oh,” Your heart rate had already risen at the thought of being caught smelling like weed and Jason’s statement did absolutely nothing to quell the rapid beating. “Sure, yeah.”

Jason tapped his eraser against his opened book, “Roy’s trying to skip after lunch.”

“You shouldn’t skip school so often,” You chastised lightly.

He looked out the window, ceasing his tapping, “Well, guess that answers my question of if you're coming with.”

You hesitated, thinking back to his confrontation with Bruce earlier that morning. It couldn’t have been easy on him. Plus, how Roy reacted after the kiss also had to be eating him up. You knew him inviting you was his way of asking for your support when he came face-to-face with Roy after the incident yesterday.

“No, I’ll come.”

“Cool.”

You shook your head, “Skipping school isn’t cool, but… Yeah, I need a break.”

“S’long as you don’t make it a habit, I guess. Right?” He repeated what you’d said the first time you guys had skipped.

You shot him an unimpressed glare, “Like you, you mean?”

“Yeah,” His chuckle came out more as an exhale than anything.

Angsty-ass.

“Hopefully, this time, we won’t have to share a motorcycle seat,” You nudged him jokingly, shrinking back when you were instantly met with the wolfish quirk that briefly tugged at the corner of his mouth.

“Seemed like you liked it last time,” He laughed. “Now, come on,” He picked up both of your bags, “Roy’s gonna meet us at our usual spot.”

The bell rang and you followed behind, wondering what the fuck you were getting yourself into.

A/N: jason's pissed u smell like dami

[next] || masterlist || pinned

#reader x roy harper #reader x jason todd #reader x jason todd x roy harper #damian wayne x reader #jason todd x reader #my fic: the art of rehabilitating snowbirds #my fic:ars

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leatherbelt1295 · 11 months

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Your Daily Smile #2617

@ehan281

This should have been posted yesterday, but I didn't really get a chance to. I spent the previous 2.5 days with EHAN irl, and man they were just so wonderful... I'm so grateful we got to hang out again and do more than we did last time. Went during this time for a multitude of reasons since things lined up perfectly, but most importantly it was like a birthday present to him (5/29) and myself (6/3). We haven't seen each other since October 2017, so naturally I really missed him so much. ;w; That's way too long!!

We got to eat yummy food each day, got to meet his adorable doggy Sparky, met his folks, go through a mirror maze, played a laser busting game?, watch him do little runs of SpongeBob Battle for Bikini Bottom, watch the new Spidey on opening night with his brother, and went to a convention together and even cosplayed which was super fun! I went as Peppino Spaghetti from Pizza Tower (so if by chance you were there on Friday and saw Peppino, it might've been me!) and he was an excellent Cameron from Ferris Bueller Day Off. It was cool how often we were recognized, heheh. Really nice to see people's faces light up like that. Of course, we saw a lot of great cosplays too! Here's a few I saw myself that I got pics of, really nice stuff!

We got to play my favorite beat-em-up The Simpsons by Konami, and I'm glad EHAN and his brother really enjoyed it too! Really cool stuff all around, found plenty of gifts for my folks at home but also a couple things for me. Oh and Petra stuff and even comm'd a Petra for EHAN. :]

I haven't been to a con in 7 years, so being back at such a fun one was something I absolutely needed and appreciate immensely. Good times all around! I'm happy he and his brother enjoyed themselves too.

Here's my loot, though only the Jolteon and black shirt are for me.

We headed to Red Robin later on, and that was nice too! At least for me and his brother. :)

I went with the intention of recreating a certain Bocchi the Rock comic to EHAN. :))

And it worked. :)))

And the waitress didn't believe him when he said it was my birthday too. :))))

Ended the night with some 3 player Mario Party 2 on Pirate Land. We lost to the CPU DK because of usually MP shenanigans lol. Still fun!

And followed that up with me and EHAN rewatching Space Patrol Luluco as we do every June 5th, but a little early this time so it could be irl. A wonderful time as it is every year, but made more special being together and having fun irl! I'll be taking about that more on tomorrow's YDS though. :)

Wrapped up the visit with another good breakfast and visiting a lovely park, I really enjoyed that too.

Again, overall, I totally needed this trip and I'm eternally grateful for being able to do so. I really miss him though. ;w;

And I suppose I should mention a bit how my birthday was yesterday aside about half the day being with EHAN. I received gift art from friends through the day, including right at midnight and even today... Y'all really didn't have to... ;; But thank you so much... And to those who I know may read this and wanted to draw me something or whatever the case may be, but couldn't for any reason, just know it's more than okay and the fact that you even thought of me in the first place means a lot to me already. Wishing me hbd means a lot too... 🥺 So thank you guys too!

Even had a big surprise on the flight back home before departure. Someone close to me with connections actually informed the crew on board that it was my birthday, and if they could deliver a message to me for them, which they absolutely did... Even gave me free snacks and water, and invited me to sit in the pilot's seat which was !!!!!?? It was so cool what the heck... I'm grateful for that... 😭

Nice time spent at home with family, always nice to see them. It ain't a birthday without being with em, I'd say. Nice lil gifts too, they shouldn't have... ;; I do wanna show this Hank Hill in particular, gave me a good laugh and I love it, heheh. The Bocchi doodle too!

But yeah, I just wanted to dedicate this YDS to thanking @ehan281 and his brother for a wonderful time and express my gratitude of a happy birthday too. Hoping the next time we meet won't be so long! ^^

#EHAN #toskihero #your daily smile

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thefreakhouseband · 1 year

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Welcome to the Freak House!

About Us

Audrey Arson

I'm the oldest of the band. I'm a bit of a self-proclaimed older sister to the others and I feel super protective of them. When I'm not making music with the band you can usually find me working on my comic or some other artistic pursuit. I'm a chronically exhausted college student. You can tell what songs I wrote by them having a more jazzy or melancholy tone to them or just being bat-shit off the walls insane. Some of my inspirations are MCR, Scene Queen, , Set It Off, and Demi Lovato (for some reason).

-Your resident garbage girl

Butchface

I’m that guy with the neon green hair in the blog’s pfp lol. pronouns are he/him, xe/xem/xyr, and it/its. I take a lot of influence from older punk rock and, surprisingly, country and folk music. my favorite bands are My Chemical Romance, Oingo Boingo, They Might Be Giants, The Cure, Talking Heads, Bikini Kill, Shilpa Ray, Black Sabbath, Rainbow, Iron Maiden, The Magnetic Fields, The Daniel Pemberton TV Orchestra, Lemon Demon, Man or Astro-Man, Radiohead (not in a pretentious way, I swear), Will Wood, Creedence Clearwater Revival… oh boy, there’s a lot. I like music! I tend to disappear at unpredictable intervals due to chronic pain/fatigue and parental restrictions, but I always come back. I like writing songs about things I’m passionate about, which is often personal, sometimes political, and every now and then a ballad about freaky-looking deep sea creatures. or weevils. I keep my dad’s old stenobook by my bedside to write lyrics in - he wrote lyrics for the Panama City punk bands he was in in 1990-ish in there, and I figured I could put it to good use again after all these years. he’s cool with it. see you around, and stay safe out there 🪲

Harley Homicide

I'm sassy, I'm trashy and (if you pay me enough) I'll let you put it in my ass-y. I'm the band's second oldest and the token British person. I use any pronouns, I literally don't care what you call me xx. My music taste is all over the place, having been raised by a metalhead and a former chav during a time where pop punk and emo were more mainstream. I'd say my biggest inspirations in terms of performing are Freddie Mercury and Ronnie James Dio. You'll be able to tell which songs are written by me because they're shit! I'm not much good at writing, but I'm great at partying like I'm Paris Hilton. When I'm not doing band stuff, you can find me shopping, watching/reading/playing anything DC comics related or just sorta... Staring into space. I don't do much, but I'm still your fave member fer sure! Thanks for visiting The Freakhouse! We hope you enjoy your stay!

Xoxo Harlz <3

Dart Darling

Hi I'm Dart, I'm genderfluid (any pronouns), and I'm from under the ground at your local graveyard! I'm one of the youngest, and that's super tragic because I'm an undead zombie who died from being too damn glamorous. My idol is Melissa Marie and i love the Millionaires. Also, my ghostly tendencies give me a lot of appreciation for the dramatic, and as well as all things scene and crunkcore I love theatre, cabaret, and steampunk. I've been producing music for about a year now so if the synths crunching, just know it was me, tapping away and not understanding what the equalizer does. I'm bringing you Dead Girl Couture 25/8, 366. Don't mind all the Sanrio merch around the Freakhouse, I started a cult for Hello Kitty! I mean church. You should definitely join us 😁

Til death do we party,

-Dart <3

GRACIEEEE

YOOO WASSUP!!! X3 My namez GRACE! (if you dont know me, pls call me Grace, not Gracie)

I'm gendersylphen (he/they/neos) and I'm a super cool alien with adhd from OUTER SPACEEEE! My fav colors are all of them except brown, my special interests are space and doraemon, and I LOVE SCENE SM! Crunkcore 4 LYFEEE! I wanna be an astronaut when I grow up! Also I'm the youngest here 💀💀💀💀💀 (btw im a minor so plz don't be a weirdo, tyyyy)

I'm mostly new to music and I'm SUPER excited!!! X) Ik this is gonna be rllyrlly fun!!! For me, my music stuff is gonna be super bouncy, upbeat, happy, optimistic, full of rhymes, so tht's when yk smth's by me! My fav bands/artists are Amy Can Flyy, Green Day, Nikasaur, 4*Town (4townie 4 eva!!! Aaron T is best boy) and a LOT of other stuff.

When I'm not with tha band, you can find me playing with my sibs (including my dog), doing stuff with my homiez, reading/watching Doraemon or abt space, or doing idk whatever bc I do alot. XP

So ye! Thts a bit abt me! Tysm for reading abt us, may God bless u, follow ur dreams, and have a super duper fun day! 😄

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selfindulgentsillinessbracket · 1 year

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Why Each Character(s) Were Chosen, or, Why These Sillies Are Special To Me - CHAPTER 1 of ??

This is a series of posts documenting why each silly in this bracket is in this bracket & why they're each special to me.

These will be getting fairly personal & I may ramble on too long but I want to be sincere so I won't hold back my overly silly manner of typing if need be.

These will be covered in order of appearance on the brackets from first to last contestant(s).

#1. Wario & Waluigi

Wario is straight up my favorite mario character. No cap. He's number 1. His character, his games (Wario Land is peak 2D platformer with the only series beating it in existence being Donkey Kong Country), his moveset. He's a king if you ask me. Waluigi is by all accounts my other fav. I'm so mad they refuse to use him in the Wario land games. The one series he SHOULD be in. I demand they treat him better. Anyways love these two goofballs & they've always struck a chord with me. I'm all about the goofy rivals. Wario & Waluigi are just pure fun. Love em. Also play Wario Land 4 because it's literally peak. I promise you it's worth your time.

#2 Calvin & Hobbes

Back when I was a wee lad, the thing that made me wanna do art in the first place? That was comic strips. In particular, Calvin & Hobbes, & Garfield. These two series are why I'm an artist. I owe it all to these two along with that fat orange cat. But we'll get to Garfield later, for now, let's focus on Calvin & Hobbes. They were the first ones I was introduced too. I didn't read Garfield til a few years after I met Calvin & Hobbes. I loved these two. And their comics are timeless. The writing is just out of this world with how smart & hilarious it is. It doesn't matter that it's from the 80s or 90s, they still ring true now. They're still God damn hilarious. These guys made me wanna make my own comics. Which led to me making my own characters. Which led to me becoming an artist. Thank you Calvin & Hobbes. Thanks for shaping who I am today.

#3 Squeek

Ok so there's not much to cover here. Squeek here is from a game called Oddworld: Squeek's Oddysee. Never heard of it? Yeah of course not, it was canceled. Like many Oddworld games sadly are. See the teason I have SO MANY oddworld reps on this bracket is 1. Yeah oddworld is extremely special to me. But 2. I'm hoping it'll cause more people to give the oddworld games a shot. They're so underrated. Legit my favorite story, world, lore & narratives in all of gaming. Squeek is a character who from what little we know, he's got so much potential. His lore is tragic and depressing but that makes you want to see him beat the odds like how Abe & Munch did. Squeek was meant to be our third protagonist. And maybe someday he'll get that chance again. Anyways please I implore you guys to give this series a shot. They're not perfect, but there's so much to love.

#4 Zoey

Ok Zoey is a character who I need to get personal to explain why she was a special enough OC to be in this bracket. So this is gonna be a long one. Zoey has been around for a while now. I mean like a while. She was created back in March of 2016. Yes I actually remember the exact time she was made. So yeah, that's her origin. The very first artwork of Zoey ever made has the original time saved on the upload date. Lucky us, bc we know her time of creation.

Zoey was officially created on March 3rd, 2016. Here was the first drawing of her. Comparison to her current look included :)

Now I know what you're thinking, yes this does look awful. I was not nearly as good at art back then. 2016 was a terrible time. But after that Zoey was just left forgotten, never had a real idea what to do with her. Until this past year, I uncovered her. And with a new design and finally having a solid personality to give her, she was given life. My life. Because the personality she ultimately found was just mine. She is quite literally the definition of a self insert. When I write Zoey I am literally just writing myself. Or to be more accurate, I'm writing a very cartoonishly exaggerated version of myself.

The fact people vote for her at all, it genuinely got me to cry more than once. It means so much to me. Bc Zoey means so much to me. So, thank you. And Zoey thanks you all too, she's humbled & would hug all of you if she could (and if we both were more open to physical contact but autism yknow yeah)

Next Chapter of this coming idk anyways Polls are still open so voting is still here for group 1 & 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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wulvert · 1 year

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YEA THE "THINK ABOUT THIS ONE HIGHLY SPECIFIC FACT WITH MY BLORBO" DISEASE IS SO REAL,,,i have an oc who's my main guy hopping around in my brain and i go "yea she cant play the imposter (ඞ) in among us because lying to and killing her friends make her sad even though its a silly online game. she plays an absolutely Killer crewmate detective game though" (MEDIEVAL AGE CHARACTER BTW.) meanwhile any side character ocs i have even if theyre like. semi-important my brain can only come up with. "um. possibly Human idk. could Be"

also omg,,,scarlet and avery,,,KISSING?! 🏳️‍🌈😳WHAT!!! i cant believe there s vampire lesbins in,,,pap er teeth,,,the Lesbian Vampires comic,,,ur gona tell me theres vampires next,,,(very /lh /j etc btw pls do NOT read this as condescending!!!). also yeah one of my favorite parts of making fan content is just. deciding random ass things for the characters and world,,,my brain goes "Whats your source for this Information" and the source is i Made it the Fuck up!!

this ask got very long,,,it will get longer sorry. it is time for the Questioning™️ (same things as always apply!!)

how do paperteeth werewolves work? can they transform at will, or can they only do it under a full moon?

do they still have their weakness to silver? more weaknesses? supernatural abilities?

do vampire hunters not mind werewolves since theyre. u know. not Vampires or do they also not like werewolves?

follow up 2 that,,,do any of the vampire hunter group including her dad know trisha's a werewolf or is she just. chillin'. completely anonymous.

also i just realized. i have NO idea where paperteeth takes place. for some reason ive always just thought it was somewhere in europe. IS paperteeth's setting european??? i have no idea why i was so solid in my belief that theyre in europe up 2 this point,,,

WEREWOELVS!

ok so yeah these werewolves r more the ugh terrible curse that ruins ur life flavour, they cant transform at will, no benefits in human form like cool retractable claws or anything. they transform on the full moon & whenever they get extremely angry or scared, & its the gross horrifying painful kind like you get a new set of teeth every month kinda thing. they can avoid turning if they stay out of the moonlight BUT they feel extremely obligated to go look at it, and will get violent if kept from it, so its safer for the person to just turn than to throw themself at a basements brick wall relentlessly, all night- so you cant actually avoid it unless you wanna break all your arms every month, i mean the arms break either way but they heal when they turn back if theyre broken by turning. will eat anyone and anything except vegetables while a wolfh

weakness 2 silver in both forms, similar to a vampire. other injuries heal quickly but if u like killed it hard enough with a non silver weapon itd probably still die? it depends. like if u put a werewolf into a stainless steel blender, and the blender didnt break... itd probably stay dead, whereas if u put a vampire in a blender, i mean its hard to say, what counts as decapitation... if putting a vampire in a blender doesnt count as decapitation the vampire survives just fine. im trying to say werewolves are technically weaker than vampires, but theyre probably in a practical setting harder to kill, bc u cant just stake it and theyre huge. avery wouldnt know where to start with a werewolf.

depends on the vampire hunter! its not in the job description, but the kind of person who decides to become a vampire hunter is probably more likely to have a problem with werewolves. avery doesnt care about werewolves at all & wouldnt go out of her way to find and kill one, she's a little bit scared of them bc they spread their curse much easier than vampires (one bite is all it takes 2 pass it on) & she would find being a werewolf SO embarrassing.

(but she doesnt have to worry about that anymore bc i dont think vampires can become werewolves, i think werewolves can become vampires though. 4 a vampire the bite would heal immediately and i think vampires are a little bit too much of their own creature for werewolfness or whatever to recognise them as a suitable curse haver)

nobody except fish's family knows shes a werewolf!

&yeah! paperteeth takes place in scotland :)

#asks

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adultswim2021 · 1 year

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Space Ghost Week

Space Ghost Coast to Coast #64: “Rio Ghosto” | September 18, 1998 | S05E07

This is a really significant episode for me, and I’m gonna get way too personal to explain why. Yes, this is a memoir-style post where I get nostalgic about my childhood VCR. Don’t worry, I hate when I do this, too. Feel free to skip around.

Space Ghost has written a very bad screenplay (I can relate!). So, he lines up three sophisticated cutting-edge indie directors as his three guests. After a Dick-Dale sounding opening and some Moltar title-card mischief, we get to our first guest. It’s… Ben Stiller?? Well, he does have bleach blonde hair. That was pretty cutting-edge in 1998.

Space Ghost also has a bit of a chat with Kevin Smith before he had the stink of Dogma all over him (or the stink of Chasing Amy, but that’s more of a retrospect thing). Kevin and Zorak have a moment where they shout each other out, only to have Space Ghost interrupt it by shouting out his own name. Very funny! Maybe the funniest thing Kevin Smith ever did (other than [spoiler alert] k*ll D*nte)

This episode more-or-less represents my becoming an actual regular viewer of Space Ghost. I think we had JUST gotten Cartoon Network on our cable system earlier in 1998. I was in high school, and was taking a sincere stab at being social and hanging out with girls I had crushes on and stuff like that. Luckily that didn’t take. I haven’t spoken to or even really want to ever see those people again. I am watching this episode of Space Ghost probably for the 23rd time in my life.

The entire reason, more-or-less, that I tuned into (and taped!) this episode of Space Ghost was because Kevin Smith was on it. I was fanatical for him at this time, and remember anticipating Dogma so rabidly that I actually did the unthinkable: I downloaded the script from the internet and read it before the movie came out. The movie in my head turned out to be way better than the movie we currently, uh, I guess we don’t actually currently have Dogma, do we? I guess that one fat rapist has to die first?

I don’t really wanna turn this into a Kevin Smith post. I write way too much about that guy. I still watch his movies even though most of them leave me cold. But: I basically remember a few moments in which Kevin Smith appeared on my radar: I’m pretty sure I saw the trailers for Clerks, Mallrats, and Chasing Amy attached to various VHS tapes I rented. Also, I distinctly remember seeing Clerks reviewed by Siskel and Ebert, and being fascinated by the idea that a rude R-rated comedy could also be a black and white art film.

Austin Stories, a faintly remembered MTV Show starring Laura House, Chip Pope, and Howard Kremer (second place only to Freaks and Geeks as my favorite one-season TV series of all time) was getting enough buzz that it merited an article in TV Guide that compared it to other burgeoning slacker-related media. They listed the films of Kevin Smith and Richard LInklater. I remembered those names.

The first Kevin Smith project I ever saw was either Mallrats, or Jay and Silent Bob’s Video Stash on MTV, an hour long special hosted from Kevin Smith’s famous comic book store. The purpose of the special was to show the collected interstitials Smith directed for the network which starred Jay & Silent Bob. But these things helped me understand the idea that films had directors, and those directors had a particular style, and if you like a movie by a certain director it’s a good idea to seek out their other movies. Clerks came next. Chasing Amy after that. Dogma was the first one I got to see in the theaters. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was the second. I leveled off after that one. What a pair of stinkers.

Space Ghost also talks to Jim Jarmusch, who also made funny black and white movies about slackers just like my “hero” Kevin Smith. If I only I knew that then! This episode didn’t really serve as any kind of introduction to these guys, sadly. The episode, like many episodes of Space Ghost, sorta rely on you already knowing who these guys are. I had no live for Jarmusch from this episode. Stranger Than Paradise is so wonderful. I should really go through the guy’s filmography sometime, I think I’ve only seen like five of them.

This episode got me into watching Space Ghost pretty regularly. I remember taping this to the beginning of a tape. Then, I transferred a recording of Mystery Science Theater to the tape so I could edit the commercials out. For some reason I decided to do this after the Space Ghost episode, making it sorta like a theatrical short that plays before a feature film. I liked the pairing of the two shows so much I began simultaneously recording Mystery Science Theater and Space Ghost and filling up the ends of edited-for-commercials MST3Ks with Space Ghost reruns (also SCTV repeats from NBC’s Later). Man, I would love it if I had all those tapes still. I still think that’s a killer combo. I paired down when they were coming out on DVD.

Favorite bits: Ben Stiller’s exchange with Zorak where Zorak is echoing Ben’s descriptors of him “yeah, I’m ribald”. “Yeah, I’m ribald” was in the running for my favorite Zorak quote for a very long time. Ben Stiller talking about Cable Guy 2 (wow, he’s so self-effacing!). The brief video clip of Andy Merrill (I assume) rolling around laughing that played during the break (was there actually commercial breaks for this season? I forget!). The cut to Zorak, now a Squirrel, saying “Screwy, Ain’t It?” which was a then-current reference to Cartoon Network’s on-air branding, which used that tagline over clips of particularly goofy cartoon moments.

At the end we get a very brief clip of George Lowe in a Space Ghost costume, with a holster at his side, looking serious. This is, I assume, taken from this footage from a live-action shoot, where George Lowe loses his marbles with a dwarf pony. This brief tag seems to be the only remnants of this shoot, which is why it became a DVD Easter egg on the volume four DVD (as well as a series of anniversary bumpers that aired on Adult Swim). The resulting use of the footage is comically unspectacular, so much so that I remember almost cutting it out of my tape because I thought it was a Cartoon Network bumper or something. I really wonder if the writers thought this live-action sequence was going to be a huge pay-off for the episode.

A landmark episode! For me! And me only!

MAIL BAG

tell that other commenter they already brought Lewis back, he's Mario's nemesis in The Mario's Movie. It's the same voice actor and everything, look it up. "Lewis Lectures, here we come!" i couldn't agree more!

What couldn’t you agree more with?

oh please don't edit out my slur. I'll be nice!

Nice girls don’t slur

you badmouthed HBOMax and then the next day they added SG to the Leaving Soon list.

Yeah. I guess you catch more flies with funny and boy, isn’t that funny?

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #space ghost coast to coast

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gswhan · 2 years

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Hey, hello, hello! I am Sera and you have no idea how ecstatic I am for this place to finally be open ahhh!! ( As a local horror enthusiast... ) I’m going to be reading up on everyone’s information first and then stirring up some plots with you guys! Anyway, without further ado, allow me to introduce you all to the epitome of The Hermit, YOO HANGYEOL (aka Han), the elusive lighthouse keeper up on Hongsi Hill. Find his profile here! I highly prefer Tumblr dms for the sake of my own organization but if you'd like to add me elsewhere, my tag is seracha sauce#3256.

BACKGROUND !

Born September 21st (do you remember), 1995 in Daegu

But frequently visited Gwasuwon to see his paternal grandparents

Lived a pretty nice life with his parents and younger sister; unfortunately, his mother had a severe chronic illness and passed away right before he graduated high school.

Enlisted in the military from Jan. 2016 to Aug. 2017 as a marine (was allowed out early because of an incident related to his secret but we’ll get to that later.)

Went to a university in Pohang from 2018 to 2020 where he was studying marine biology, which he always wanted to do as a kid, as well as engineering.

BUT he had to drop out of university to support his family after his father loses his previous job. Wasn’t interested in attending gsw college because of time.

So, in 2020ish, he moved to the island and, thanks to his grandpa, got a job job as a fill-in lighthouse keeper, training for when the old one retires eventually

in addition to being a keeper at the lighthouse, he takes up odd jobs around the island fixing up and taking care of any problems people might have, maintenance or otherwise. he also goes into town to sell the jam, carvings, and other things his grandparents make; typically to tourists and other stores that will sell them just for an extra buck.

He's been facing uncharitable rumors due to not being seen around very often and due to the main lighthouse keeper's own notoriety as being unkind to outsiders.

There are claims that he must be a hideous, deformed man or elderly and unfriendly often spread around. Particularly since he isn't overly fond of people trying to make trips up to the lighthouse.

That being said, his job is pretty vital for the ferries and ships going to and from the island. And he sees just about everything from his spot. Just about.

SECRET: when he was in the army on a short leave, he was walking with his girlfriend at the time and they were attacked by a man, forcing Hangyeol to defend them... and killing him in the heat of the moment. Because she was a military officer’s daughter, they were willing to sweep it under the rug but to this day, he blames himself and holds a lot of guilt over it, particularly given that he was gonna marry her.

ABOUT HIM !

Virgo/libra cusp 🤘🏻

Tall (very tall jfc), quiet, broody man... wears black and dull colors all the time. Still wonders why people find him lowkey spooky/sus

Marine facts encyclopedia. His favorite marine animal is the jellyfish.

Likes reading. Especially comics! (Especially dark fantasy!) it’s a great time killer and he’s read... a LOT.

Has a sweet tooth. If you wanna bribe him... make him some tteok or bungeoppang and he might think about it.

Addicted to iced tea. ADDICTED.

(I think he might be addicted to persimmons too tbh idk)

A whiskey connoisseur. Ask him for suggestions if you find him down at the Pink Room

Moderately skilled in repairs/hands-on stuff. He’s a bit of a MacGyver and WILL fix your issue with bubblegum and a paperclip if it works!!

Doesn't have much interest in going out much unless people basically force him to.

He's quite stoic and blunt.

Comes off pretty badly to new people and takes a while to warm up.

^ he’s just very afraid of getting close to people, fearing that if he does, they will eventually just get hurt. He actually doesn’t secretly hate everyone. He just needs to learn this isn’t the way to do things.

Surface level superstitious, finds views on the island fascinating and to be respected.

A devout Buddhist, a trait passed down to him from his mother. You can often find him at Eunjong Shrine or the Turtle park trying to chillax.

Takes up odd jobs around the island. Usually for the elderly.

Has the tendency to sigh a lot, and picks at his nails when nervous.

PLOTS ?

Just gen ideas. I'm bad at this and Hangyeol doesn’t really interact with many people before the incidents of the rp because of his reclusive nature and fear of getting close to people. But we can work something out. I am definitely open to darker plots and Hangyeol might end up with many plots that are skewed more antagonistic due to his nature (but he’s not really a bad guy).

Childhood friend (either also grew up in/often visited Daegu or Gwasuwon, where he would frequently visit) But he’s been very distant lately.

Fishing buddy. Simple as

Someone he first met when he moved to the island officially in 2020. Their relationship is strained now because he doesn’t go out much and always tells them to go away.

Someone who always wants to visit the lighthouse to take a tour of it and he continuously refuses. Please leave him alone!!

Someone who happens find him suspicious, what with his hermit tendencies and all.

Someone who frequently asks him to fix things for him. Alt. they keep messing things up on purpose just so they can have an excuse to talk to him.

Someone he sees actively disregarding and disrespecting the island’s superstitions and mythos. He warns them repeatedly but they never listen.

Someone who keeps asking him out on a date but he keeps refusing.

Someone he went on one date with and ran away. Goodbye no thanks not interested.

Ex. He might still be hung up on his ex girlfriend from over 5 years ago idk if any relationship he tried to have from 2020 to now would have been no longer than a month and probably not serious and he probably was a complete asshole on purpose during the breakup (sorry) even though he didn’t want to and there’s still a grudge there.

Drinking buddy. Have a whiskey with him from time to time.

Kind of a dark one, but people try to break into the lighthouse to attempt to off themselves from the balcony all the time. Han frequently stops them because he has a conscious (and doesn’t wanna be haunted). Fortunately, the worst that’s happened is someone got a broken leg because it’s not really that high up...... OR, someone who snuck in that he thinks is going to do it.

#gsw:intro #um.... yes hello #im bad at writing intros #ill greet and read everyone's things in a bit #i just got home

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killian-whump · 2 years

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Different nonny but can I ask why you don’t like season one XD

Oh sure, sure :D

It's not so much that I don't like it, really. It's more that Colin's not in it and without him around, I just don't have enough interest in the show.

I actually started watching the show when the first episode aired. I loved the Fables comic book series (at least the first few volumes of it before I lost interest XD) and was excited by the premise of fairy tale characters in the modern real world.

BUT... I wasn't fond of the actress cast in the lead role, and felt that the added "...but they don't know they're fairy tale characters!" premise would be frustrating to watch. Even now, the whole "audience knows something the characters don't know!!" trope is one of my very least favorites. It... makes me nervous, somehow? Like, I wanna just reach into the TV and shake everyone, like "WTF JUST KNOW WHAT I KNOW ALREADY, THIS IS SO TIRING"

So I watched episode 1 and... none of the rest 🤷‍♀️

It was in S2 when my mom started telling me I might wanna start watching the show, because they'd added Captain Hook to the show and the guy playing him was exactly my type - "dark hair and eyebrows for days". Still, I resisted until the next week, when she told me they had him tied to a tree and, "Well, I guess I could take a little peeksie..."

And that's when I developed a new-found interest in the show. Or, at least, in one particular pirate/actor on the show. Even then, I still didn't like the lead actress and was pissed that they seemed to be aiming to pair the hot pirate with her character. I would've preferred him getting with the hot Evil Queen XD So I kinda just watched half-assedly and didn't pay much attention to anything else going on. It wasn't 'til the S3 finale that I decided I might actually be okay with him being a big old dope for Emma, because he was at least really, really good at it.

I have a weakness for men who willingly throw themselves into proverbial space/time holes for the woman they love. It's a problem.

ANYWAY... When they brought Frozen in for S4, I started paying attention to that storyline and those characters... and then paid more attention to the other other characters... and eventually went back and watched all of S2 and S3... and kept watching regularly for S4 and everything after that...

And I started watching S1. I really did mean to watch the whole thing. Honest! But... Well, it was the same problems (mostly) the second time around. I still hate the "I know something you don't know" trope that S1 utilized... and even though I'd grown to kinda sorta like the lead actress, I had (by then) grown to REALLY like that pirate actor, and... Well, I honestly kept wondering what adventures HE was getting into whilst the action on the screen was taking place. When you find yourself distracted from what you're watching by wondering if an off-screen character is boinking another off-screen character at that moment, it's kinda maybe time to turn off the TV and go read some fanfic or something.

ANYWAY... So yeah. I still haven't watched the entire thing. Probably never will at this point, honestly.

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vintage-rejects · 2 years

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Analysis of Spy’s character from a Spy Fan

Hello Team Fortress 2 community! It is I, the silly little Vin! Mostly known for my banger discord text posts, and the occasional drawing here or there. I’m here to branch out my silly ideas forth to the world of Tf2 Tumblr! (A terrible idea, I know!) However, I do this with confidence as I’ve got a lot to say! Mostly, about Spy!!

Spy? Yes, Spy! I love Spy! He’s my favorite mercenary, and my favorite character in TF2! He’s the only class I’ll horribly play as, as I’m too stubborn and he’s too much fun! I’m sort of here to analyze his character, simply for the fun of it! I think there’s a lot the fandom doesn’t recognize with Spy. I’m here to simply say my peace and continue to co-exist! Hoping my knowledge reaches far and wide… Or just pray no one hates me. That too. Now, let us begin!

Disclaimer: I have read ALL the comics (even the update ones I didn’t NEED to read, but I did), listened to ALL of Spy’s voice lines, commands, and taunts (bc I’m obsessed and have A.D.D hiiii), and have overanalyzed too many SFMs to count. Safe to say, I know what I’m talking about! No need for any hardcore fans to worry, alright? Enjoy the read under the cut! It is long, very long. Might wanna get a snack.

Spy’s description on his… information card(?) goes as follows:

“He is a puzzle, wrapped in an enigma, shrouded in riddles, lovingly sprinkled with intrigue, express mailed to Mystery, Alaska, and LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU! but it is too late. You're dead. For he is the Spy - globetrotting rogue, lady killer (metaphorically) and mankiller (for real).”

This little inkling of information actually tells us a lot about Spy! They describe him as “globetrotting,” indicating he’s traveled the world! Spy moves from place to place, constantly on the run. He’s been exposed to numerous cultures, which is useful for a man in his field! You must learn exactly what to imitate.

The description of “rogue,” implies Spy is a man of little morals. The exact definition is “a dishonest or unprincipled man.” This showcases how much Spy lies. He’s a liar, guys. Spy, if given any chance, can and will lie to save his skin. He isn’t opposed to it, in fact, he probably relishes it.

The use of “lady killer” and “mankiller” is comedic, and obviously paints a very distinct picture. He is known to go on various rendezvous with women and has killed many men. It’s not surprising. (However, I want to note something important. Just for us fans, though! I think it’s super sweet everyone I’ve seen headcanons Spy as bisexual. I do too! I mean, how can this man not sleep with men? It’s in his blood. Just something I think is cute, anyway let’s continue!)

That is… basically all we get told about Spy. Aside from the vague, “Hailing from an indeterminate region of France, the Spy is an enthusiast of sharp suits and even sharper knives [...]” sentence in his wiki.

That’s all we know about Spy.

He’s from France

He’s a Spy

He’s traveled the world, or most of it

He’s a liar

He is a whore, essentially. Guy’s don’t lie, Spy is a whore it’s literally cano–

cOUGH I mean, he’s taken out many women mhm yes yes

He kills men exceptionally well

He likes sharp suits

He likes even sharper knives

So… Spy’s just a man of French origin, who dresses up sharply, likes sharper knives, lies constantly, travels around the world, and is a mankiller who happens to take women out like it’s a hobby?... Well, yes!... But there’s also more to him. The key, however, is to go digging for it! Just like Spy himself, we must look for clues.

One main clue, is found through After Breakfast with SquimJim’s video, “TF2: A Complete History of the Spy.” At around 6:49 in the video, they uncover this old description given to Spy;

“A master of disguise, misdirection, and the byzantine details of who really runs things, the Spy is a double reverse quadruple agent whose reflexive suspicion is entirely justified.”

This… THIS is something fascinating! This really goes through and outlines the true sinister nature of Spy’s character. Something the fandom seems to forget quite a bit. I get it, TF2 is… TF2! You are prone to forgetting how scary some of these characters are! However, you’re also prone to forgetting other qualities about them… I’m getting ahead of myself! Let’s discuss this nugget of information!

Spy is described as a master of “disguise, misdirection, and the byzantine details of who really runs things.” Disguise is easy, he can look however he wants. Misdirection is simple enough too, he is capable of leading people astray. Spy can easily confuse others and cause them to pause, only to give him the perfect opportunity to strike or escape. That last line… That last line is very curious.

Anyone who’s ever been in 4th grade knows that byzantine normally refers to the Byzantine Empire. However, it also has other meanings… Like most words. Byzantine can also mean “(of a system or situation) excessively complicated, and typically involving a great deal of administrative detail.” So, that last description basically says Spy’s a master of “the excessively complicated details of who really runs things.” This indicates that Spy is a leader, a highly skilled leader. One who understands rather complex tasks and is able to deal with them. Interesting to note, don’t you say?

That last line also gives a fun little token of info. It describes Spy to have “reflexive suspicion” that is entirely justified. Mostly, due to the insane status he has as an agent. Spy’s job is to have enemies, not friends. It wasn’t in his job description to trust people. His goal is to make others trust him, then stab them in the back later. Spy’s a liar, master of disguise, misdirection, and isn’t trustworthy. Due to this, Spy’s “reflexive suspicion” indicates that he’s rather paranoid. He cannot risk trusting anyone, due to the immense amount of backs he has stabbed, the men he’s killed, and the women he’s indulged. Spy makes many more enemies than friends. That is just a given.

Now, we can add a few more things to that bullet list.

Master of disguise

Is able to lead people astray

Capable of leading under most, if not all, circumstances

Highly paranoid, for justified reasons

However, that is not all to Spy! To search for more clues, we must dig deeper! We must look at the game itself! A big key to Spy as a character is his voice lines.

In his responses, commands, and taunts, some new things are brought to light. Spy is shown to be quite sassy and petty. Insulting his teammates (they all do, but let’s ignore that), and constantly exhibiting a sense of sarcasm. Some of my favorite examples are as follows:

"You got blood on my suit." (Backstabbing an Enemy)

"Well, off to visit your mother!" (Dominating a Scout, I’LL GET TO THE DAD STUFF LATER WAIT–)

"Don't feel bad; you did a fine job tossing your little balls around!" (Dominating a Demoman)

"You died as you lived: morbidly obese!" (Dominating a Heavy, hot take: the mercs need to stOP CALLING MISHA FAT FFS GUYS I KNOW IT WAS 2007 BUT STO–)

(while laughing) "You live in a van!" (laughs again) (Dominating a Sniper)

"I'm back, you subnormal halfwit!" (Revenge Kill)

"They should call you whiners 'Dr. NOOOOOO!'" (Under the effects of an Ubercharge)

"Why is the cart not moving?!" (Attacking: Cart has stopped)

These few lines I’ve picked out are just the iceberg of Spy insults. Anyone who’s played the game, either as Spy or with a Spy on their team, has probably heard these lines. This is no secret.

However, what seems to be constantly forgotten is that Spy has a sense of humor! The man isn’t all doom and gloom despite what the comics say, TRUST ME THAT’S IT’S OWN POST! Don’t believe me? Hear these goofy lines yourself. These, I love dearly. Look how silly Spy truly is;

"Shall I carry us to victory? I don't mind." (First Round in Competitive Mode Setup)

"I have a tie. I'm wearing it, it's silk, and it costs $9000. I do not need another one!" (Previous Round was a Tie)

"I am uncorking a bottle of 1942 Château Backstab! [uncorking sound]" (Rank Up)

"And when the Spy saw the breadth of his achievement, he wept, for there were no more backs to stab." (Rank Up)

"Jealous?" (Dance-Off Fate)

(short scream) (breath) (long scream) (Falling in Bottomless Pit)

(dramatic scream) "Come on, I don't have all day." (Falling in Bottomless Pit)

"I'll be seeeing youuu!" (Duel Accepted)

"I'm coming for you!" (Duel Accepted)

"I'm not just any unicorn! I am the prettiest unicorn that ever was!" (With Magical Mercenary Equipped)

"You don't need to tell me I am the prettiest unicorn! I know I am the prettiest unicorn!" (With Magical Mercenary Equipped)

"I am the prettiest unicorn." (With Magical Mercenary Equipped)

"Sorry to horn in." (With Magical Mercenary Equipped)

LITERALLY JUST SPY TAUNTING WITH THE BOX TROT, ALL HE DOES IS LAUGH

"Let us dance, gentlemen! Dance like no one's shooting at us!" (Taunting with Conga)

"My hands against your hands!" (Taunting with Fist Bump)

"Slap my hand." (Taunting with High Five)

*exhales heavily* "You want it, Spy! You want it!" *heavily breathing* (Taunting with mannrobics, this one makes me laugh idk why)

"Oh, good. A concussion!" (Taunting with Skull Cracker)

"And we're done! Time to shower." (taunting with Square Dance)

"And we're done! Off to hang myself!" (Taunting with Square Dance)

"Who among you is man enough to dance with me?" (Starting a Square Dance)

"I'm not going to stab you, I'm not going to stab you! HA! I stabbed you!" (Knife Stabbing Kill Taunt)

Do you see how funny this man is!? How lighthearted he can be?! Why does everyone forget this?! Spy isn’t just pissy faces and dry comments, he knows how to laugh! He can take a joke! He’s pretty damn funny! Just.. OOF As a Spy fan, it baffles me that people forget this stuff. I suppose not everyone digs into every piece of canon content for characters they like– But STILL, Spy is goofy! Have you heard his laugh? Oh my god, it’s the silliest thing about him! Spy likes to portray himself as this suave, handsome, sexy, fancy rogue with a garnish of danger– But, that laugh he has is the “ugliest” thing I’ve ever heard. I love it so much. It’s perfect for Spy. His obnoxious snorting and stupid “honhon”s. GOSH, I LOVE SPY!! I love him so much–

Sorry! Lost… professionalism there. Point is, Spy is also quite silly and comical! That isn’t the only thing many forget about him. There’s constant debate about who the “sanest” on the team is. Many argue Sniper or Spy is the candidate. Which, I have to laugh because it’s clearly Scout. (I could make a whole thing about that too, but this is about Spy–) Guys, Spy is probably one of the creepiest mother fuckers on that team. Don’t believe me? Simply look at more voice lines! Here are some chilling examples;

"I like my enemies like I like my wines: I let them breathe, for a moment." (First Round in Competitive Mode Setup)

"Six healthy backs just waiting to be stabbed! [sniffs] Ah, there's that new back smell." (First Round in Competitive Mode Setup)

"Six unstabbed backs: smooth, healthy, untouched by knife wounds? I do love a blank canvas!" (First Round in Competitive Mode Setup)

"If there are any unicorns prettier than me, I will find them. I will follow them. And no one will ever see those unicorns again." (With Magical Mercenary Equipped)

"Another day, another back with a gaping stab wound!" (Contract Complete)

"This won't be the first corpse I've disposed of in the dead of night." (Helltower Responses Round Start)

"Heh heh heh heh. Like a wolf among the lambs." (Tie Taunts)

"Ah, stab wounds. My favorite type of wound!" (Knife Stabbing Kill Taunt)

"Shock, blood loss, infection; Oh ho ho ho, I love stabbing!" (Knife Stabbing Kill Taunt)

"I'm going to butcher you like a pig." (Knife Stabbing Kill Taunt)

Do you see how unhinged this man is? How nervous he can make someone? He’s got a thing for stabbing, and that’s unsettling. You think he’s mentally stable now? You think he’s sane? Think again. He’s questionable at most, and deserves a lot of suspicion.

Now, we’ve learned Spy is rather goofy and quite fucking creepy. What’s next? Now, my dear friends, we learn of Spy’s fearless nature. This man fears nothing, literally. I’ve combed through everyone’s voice lines. Everyone but Spy, Heavy, and Engineer shows fear. They all scream and panic. Engineer, however, shows concern! Heavy shows complete joy and eagerness. While Spy shows annoyance and acceptance. This indicates, even when faced with his own death, Spy isn’t afraid.

In the comics, there’s further evidence for this. Throughout every batshit event, Spy keeps a straight face and exhibits begrudging acceptance.

If Spy is afraid of something, it is unknown. Of course, like any fan with headcanons and stuff, I can speculate. I can give him fears, worries, etc… But this isn’t about my headcanons! This is canon Spy!

Now, look at all we’ve covered! The wiki, the voice lines, and even the comic! (Albeit vaguely, again that’s its own post–) What could possibly be left? What else is there to this masked maniac? Simple: How much he fucking cares.

Spy cares so fucking much about his team it’s ridiculous. He cares a lot. Immensely. In fact, scoutzone made a very good post discussing Spy's actions in Expiration Date. Of course, I myself will also talk about it. I cannot help it! We are going to be focusing on the scenes during 2:57-12:11, as there’s tons of good Spy content to work with.

Upon receiving an answer from Medic on how long they have to live, Spy seemingly gets to work. It seems mere hours later (indicated by how much darker it is outside than before), Spy gathers his entire team around a table. He gives a very touching, encouraging speech. Spy hypes everyone up, talking them up greatly. He is under the impression they will all die, that their hours are numbered. What does he do? Tasks Scout to gather everyone’s dying wish.

Spy wants to make everyone’s dying wish come true! How– How is that not sweet?! HE EVEN SMILES DURING HIS SPEECH LOOK

Spy is so ready to complete everyone’s dying wish, and even lifts their spirits with a speech. How is that not caring?! And… Oh Scout, you fucking weasel. Made a fool out of Spy in front of everyone. After his nice speech and his eagerness to help everyone. You can see at 4:29 how upset he is. How much that bothered him, because Spy was trying to be nice and no one appreciated it.

Afterwards, he retreats to his smoking room. A safe place to hide and ignore his emotions. Play it casually like everyone else, because no one cares except for him apparently– Until, the man who ruined his gesture shows up.

Spy rightfully retaliates, even grabbing his knife to stab Scout. However, after the panicked “sorry” comes out, Spy gives up. With a roll of his eyes, he lets Scout in and puts away the knife. Sure, stabbing Scout was a bit much, however it speaks a lot that Spy decided to not hold grudges. He is going to die, and figures leaving things on a higher note is much more preferable.

And just… MMM the way he decides to help Scout is so sweet! Spy has three days, three days to do whatever he wants. He chooses to spend them helping Scout, the guy who ruined his whole kind gesture towards the team, get a date with the iconic lesbian Miss Pauling. That… Just shows so much about his character. Willing to push issues aside in order to help, because dammit he wanted to help his entire team. He can’t do that without knowing their wishes. But, Scout told him his wish. He figures one is better than none, and spends endless hours getting the job done.

NOW THIS SCENE, I LOVE THIS SCENE!! I feel like everyone overlooks it. When Spy claims time has run out and Scout failed… His face. His face when Scout stands up to him and takes matters into his own hands. Look how proud he is. He’s so proud!! That smile threatening to peek out, and him pointing at the watch– Spy is so proud of Scout finally just going for it. Truth is, Scout really didn’t need the endless hours of teaching. The main lesson was to just fucking ask her out. Finally, he did! Spy couldn’t be happier.

Of course, not to mention that adorable scene of him watching the cameras. Soldier and Demo give their very helpful input, as Spy makes sure Scout doesn’t fuck the whole thing up.

Now, this last little scene just shows an inkling of how much Spy cares. During the bread monster battle, at around 12:06 Spy pulls Scout away from the fight. Coyly says, “I think it’s going pretty well!” and shoos him off to talk to Pauling. That… TOP TIER dad shit right there.

Speaking of dad… Let’s finally discuss the comic.

Ah yes, this scene. This comes in pretty early in the comic. Beforehand, no one knew what we do now. So, this could indicate various things. Spy cares about Scout, Expiration Date showed us this. This could also be a thing where, at the mention of a mother… Spy grows soft. (My Spy is a mother's boy, sorry not sorry yes I gave Spy a lovely mother and he adores her and I’ll show you her later I promise she’s wonderful–) However, it is still sweet regardless of how Spy gives Scout the time of day. He helps him out, Spy likes to help people. He wants to help his team.

And now… The big reveal…

Spy is Scout’s father.

It’s pretty clear, ever since the events of Meet the Spy, Valve wanted Spy to be Scout’s dad. Finally, they confirmed it! Through.. Confusing means. (I’ll be honest, with how RED and BLU work, I was really torn by the whole thing. Cross faction affairs and whatever, but it all worked out. My headcanons are ironed out, it’s chill.)

This adds layers to everything. The fact that Spy lied to Scout, pretending to be Tom Jones… It says a lot. Spy knew Scout wouldn’t be happy dying knowing Spy was his father. So, Spy did what he always does… pretends to be someone he’s not. In order to make sure Scout died happily…

That just shows how much he cares. About Scout, that is. There’s a lot of examples to show how much he cares about Scout.

Though, what’s fascinating is how many people know Spy is Scout’s father. Sniper does, indicated by his reaction upon finding the dying Scout. Heavy does too, by his comment of Scout’s father “disappearing often.” A contract line from Miss Pauling confirms she knows as well. It could also be assumed Medic knows, as he’s the fucking doctor and needs DNA samples all the damn time. It brings up interesting questions… How do they know? Did Spy tell them? Did they just figure it out? Who else knows? The entire team, but Scout? That, for now, is left up to debate.

Now, we have finally met the Spy… Wait… Meet… The Spy?

Silly me, I completely jumped over Meet the Spy! Let’s quickly go over it!

Meet the Spy is fascinating as it really hints at the danger of Spy as a character. Specifically, the RED Spy… The tales of his feats are described by the BLU Spy, as a cautionary tale. A warning. It’s fascinating really.

This sort of creates the notion the two teams act rather differently from each other. They all just happen to look similar… Though, this isn’t a post about the factions. This is about Spy.

At 0:04, we can see the whole wall of random alerts BLU has. They have two alerts specifically for the Red Spy. This already shows he’s a rather intimidating threat. This is only amplified by the long warning Blu Spy gives them.

Meet the Spy just cements things we previously covered about Spy. At 1:14, we discover the Red Spy has had an affair with the Blu Scout’s mother. This proves Spy is an enjoyer of women, but also his silly escapades do get him into trouble. It causes him to make enemies. (also “THE GLOVES AND BALACLAVA STAY ON DURING SEX”)

Blu Spy shows a lot of wariness when it comes to his Red counterpart. He talks at length about Red Spy’s efficiency when it comes to his job. He breezes past defenses, dismembers colleagues, and can be anyone within the base. Spy makes you just about as paranoid as he himself is. You cannot trust anyone when a Spy is within your walls. In fact, the ending confirms this.

At 2:44, it is revealed the Red Spy himself was pretending to be the Blu Scout. This showcases the Red Spy is a very good actor. He is able to fool people easily.

I’d also like to note, I believe the Blu Spy is exceptional at getting information on targets! The nature of the pictures he has of the Red Spy and Blu Scout’s mother confirm this! He, or someone, managed to find their location, the news of Red Spy being there, the exact time, and the perfect angle to snap photos. Blu Spy is an effective stalker! Good for him, he needs it for his job!

That, my friends, brings this post to a close. We went through everything. All the information I managed to find and overanalyze. What have we learned about Spy?

Spy is a highly ranked agent. His job boils down to creating enemies, by ending and ruining lives. He steals wives, secret information, and the hearts of many. Due to this, he possesses an unhealthy amount of paranoia. No one can be too close, lest they die or betray him. He is dangerous, fearless. Spy will go into any situation with a level head, and neutrality to death. He isn’t too concerned with that sort of thing. He has proved himself to be a wonderful actor and even a decent stalker. He’s silent, but deadly. Never seen nor heard. His mental state appears to be questionable, as his love for stabbing borders on terrifying. He takes his job as an art form, and does it with immense pleasure. Despite this, Spy has a softer side. He knows when to laugh, and even makes jokes. He has a love for the finer things in life, suits and wine. He is shown to care too much. He cares so much it often backfires on him and causes him pain. He is shown to adore his team, and love his son. Spy is human, with flaws and scars. He is a flickering light, a delicate rose. Spy’s character is complex, poetic, ugly yet beautiful.

Spy is my favorite Team Fortress 2 character. I love him so much, he means a lot to me. This bitter, broken, tragic older man just… means a lot to me. I believe he deserves the world, a lot of love. So, I happily gave it to him through a headcanon romantic relationship with his own team’s mad doctor. I could make a whole post as to why Gentle Surgery of all ships is my favorite… We’ll see.

Thanks for reading. I hope you’ve learned something about Spy today! Take care! :)

#tf2 #tf2 spy #team fortress 2 #long post #lengthy post #text post #tf2 red spy #tf2 blu spy #character analysis #my writing #hope you enjoyed reading!#this took awhile #but I'm proud of it #now the world knows why this angry frenchman has my heart

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spencersawkward · 3 years

Text

*house call // wes (Dollface)*

ssummary: when her pet cat gives her a scare, Reader decides to call the vet to make sure everything is going to be okay.

pairing: Fem!Reader x Wes

word count: 5.4k

content warnings: discussion of cannabis/cannabis consumption, unprotected penetrative sex, use of nicknames (baby, sweetheart), SoftDom!Wes, breeding kink, creampie.

request: can you do a wes smutty one shot if you’re down?!

A/N: to be fair, i haven’t watched Dollface in a minute, but i’m obsessed with the domestic vibes that Matthew gives off when he plays Wes and i just thought it would be super cute. anyway, this was super fun also i wanna fuck Wes. ok enjoy!

masterlist

the absolute best part of your day is when the package arrives at your doorstep. you impulse-purchased it about two weeks ago while you were hanging out with one of your close friends, and you've been looking forward to trying it every day since.

or, really, for your cat to try it.

you've read reviews and been extremely diligent to make sure the stuff is completely safe, and everything you've seen or read was singing the praises of this cat weed (which isn't actually cannabis at all, but catnip made to look like it).

as you take the cardboard box to the kitchen table and pry open the top with the help of a Swiss army knife, you're grinning. Klimt comes scampering into the room to see what all the fuss is about, sitting at your feet with his tail curled around his legs.

"no peeking." you scold him gently. your kitten, the friendliest little rescue tabby around, simply stares blankly back. when you remove the wrapping from the glass jar and stare at it up close, you're impressed by how realistic it looks. the label shows cat-friendly ingredients only, but you unscrew the top and get a whiff of catnip.

Klimt begins to weave in between your legs, nudging them affectionately and beginning to purr. you giggle and bend down to give him a few pets. his nose twitches; he tries to sniff at the foreign object, but you put it back on the table.

"don't be greedy, babe." you scratch between his pointed ears and he lets out a whiny meow.

it's about his dinner time, and you were hoping to give him his treat tonight after he finishes his dry food. so you make yourself something simple with the leftovers in your fridge and do some more work on your laptop while you two eat together.

you've had Klimt for a while, now. you call him a kitten even though he's a full-grown cat-- he's just as playful and enthusiastic as any newborn. his eyes are the color of meadow grass, and his nose is scattered with tiny freckles. it makes him look like he's just come from digging around the backyard, but it really just adds to his charm.

not to mention his ceaselessly social tendencies: Klimt is always around when your friends come over, worming his way in between you or sitting on one of the free chair cushions to listen. you wonder if he knows what you're saying sometimes, because when you talk about the embarrassing things you've done that day or the failed interactions you've had, he always lifts his head to give you something of a judgmental stare.

once you've settled down for the evening and turned on the TV, you decide that now is the time. Klimt is aimlessly poking at a few of his toys. he bats at a fake mouse between his paws.

"kitten," you click your tongue and get up to grab the jar. "are you ready to try this stuff?"

as if he's going to answer. he hears your footsteps coming back his way and watches patiently. it's only when you pour out a little bit in front of him that he gets curious about the stuff. you admire his movements as he bends down and examines.

although you keep an eye on him while watching your show, you don't notice much of a change in him. he starts to roll about on the floor, which is to be expected, but it's only when he starts to chase around his fake mouse that things get interesting.

you laugh as Klimt goes nuts, jumping back and attacking the thing like he's ready to come in for the kill. it's really funny, but you're interrupted by your phone buzzing. you told your friend that you were doing this tonight.

"hi!" you answer the FaceTime call right away.

"how is he?" you can hear the smile in Andi's voice as you turn the camera.

"he's loving it."

"oh my god," she laughs. Klimt arches his back, leaping so highly in the air, you raise your eyebrows. "I wonder how long it'll last." she muses.

"I'm guessing we'll get about an hour more of this before he passes out for the next two days." you joke. he gets strong bursts of energy usually, but they only last so long until he's curled up on the window sill or in your bed.

Andi and you talk for a while as Klimt tires himself out and plays with all of his favorite toys. you dangle a string in front of him for a decent amount of time, too, just to make him get up on his hindquarters. he's a natural entertainer, a lithe little thing who lets out a few irritated meows to demonstrate his impertinence.

after about forty-five minutes, however, you notice your cat's behavior change. he keeps raising his hackles and rolling about, and something about it makes you nervous. he doesn't usually act like this, not even when he plays with the other catnip toys he's accumulated.

"what's wrong?" Andi notes your furrowed brow as you look past the camera of your phone and at your pet.

"he's just acting really weird," you pat the couch cushion to call him over, but he doesn't even glance up. "I don't know why."

"maybe it's the cat weed." she suggests. you purse your lips and try to think.

"yeah, but nobody in the reviews ever mentioned anything like this."

"I'm sure he's fine, Y/N."

"yeah, I know..." but you're worried. Klimt is your pal, your cuddle buddy. as he rubs his cheek against the wooden floor, you feel guilt pool in your stomach. if he's hurt because of some dumb online purchase, you're never going to forgive yourself. "I'm gonna call the vet just to be sure."

"oh, okay," she sounds surprised, but doesn't try to stop you. "let me know what they say."

"I will." you hang up the phone and stare at your companion for a few seconds. he leaps into the air and does a somersault before letting out some deeply disturbing whine that reminds you to call the vet. better safe than sorry.

...

when the doorbell rings, you're practically twiddling your thumbs anxiously. Klimt hasn't settled at all, and you haven't even bothered to change out of your lounging ensemble. you're pretty sure you look a mess, but hopefully the person won't care too much.

you don't know who to expect-- your usual vet is an older woman who is friends with your mom, but her receptionist said she was out tonight and would send over another vet to check it out.

when you swing open the door, you immediately regret the decision to stay in sweatpants.

"hi, I'm Wes." the guy gives you a friendly smile and holds up his bag. it's almost comically old-fashioned, something out of an old movie, and you half-expect him to be wearing a stethoscope around his neck.

he's gorgeous, though. definitely a good amount older than you, tall with brown curls and stubble. his features stand out to you even under the porch light, and your mouth guppies idiotically.

"hi," you manage. his eyes flicker to your hand, which is seemingly blocking him from coming inside the house, and you jolt back a little to let him in. you clear your throat. "sorry."

as he steps inside and you close the door behind him, getting one tiny moment to yourself, your eyes widen. way to make yourself look like a bumbling fool.

"I heard that there's a tabby who got into some catnip?" you catch him looking around the front of your house, eyes catching on the framed photos before finding yours again. you can feel the heat creeping up your cheeks, but nod confidently.

"yeah, Klimt. he should still be in the living room."

"Klimt? like the artist?" he chuckles and follows you into the rest of the home. his voice has a nice timbre to it, something low and gentle that fits well with his occupation.

"yeah, exactly." you turn to smile at him.

you hear the cat before you see him. he's climbed to the top of his cat tree and leaps down onto the ground, paws hitting the surface in a way that can't have been comfortable. he chirps and looks up at Wes, whose lips are turned up with amusement.

"are you the man of the hour?" he asks, approaching the cat. Klimt's pupils get enormous and he prepares to pounce on the newcomer.

"careful--" you start to warn him, but the cat launches himself right into Wes' arms. the vet turns to you, holding him to his chest, and grins. warmth spreads over your skin with embarrassment. "sorry."

"no need to apologize," he starts to pet Klimt, who is only slightly struggling to escape. he wants to go wild again, but Wes isn't going to let go. "they call me the Cat Wrangler at the office."

"really?" you snort. he brings your pet over to the couch and sets him on the cushions, careful to keep him in place.

"no way." he shoots you a dazzling smile. the joke makes you giggle, and you feel yourself become even more self-conscious about the outfit you're wearing. this is just your luck, having hot guys come over when you distinctly look your worst.

Wes scratches between Klimt's ears and glances up at you again. "is there any reason in particular you're worried about the catnip?"

"yeah, actually," you nod, brought back to reality. "I know it's supposed to make them more playful, but he's just been acting weird and I got worried that there was something in it that messed with his head."

"can I see the container for it?" he asks. you go to grab the jar, only to remember that it proudly announces itself as cannabis for cats. profound embarrassment causes you to hesitate with the stuff in your hands.

it's not like he's here for you to flirt with, but you're still thinking about how stupid and young you're going to look with this stuff in front of him, a hot older guy who seems to have his life under control. you peek at him once more from the kitchen, at the way he smiles and starts to talk softly to Klimt as if he were a peer.

he's kinda crazy, and it makes you smile.

"it's cat weed." you hand him the glass container, and Wes breaks into a grin as he looks at the front.

"oh my gosh, I've heard about this!" his eyes move quickly over the label. you're in shock.

"really?"

"yeah, it's hilarious. here, can you make sure our friend here doesn't move while I read the ingredients?" he gestures. the knot of anxiety within you loosens a bit. you nod obediently, going to scoop up your pet and sit him on your lap. he's still squirmy, but he doesn't look ready to attack either of you, thankfully.

"hey, you." you greet your pal affectionately. his tail is wagging impatiently while Wes kneels on the ground beside the couch. there's a silver ring on his finger, but you notice with relief that it's not on his fourth one.

when he sets the jar down on the coffee table with the kind of smile that hints at some secret amusement, you frown. "what?"

"nothing," he shakes his head. "Klimt is gonna be totally fine."

"are you sure?" you pet the feline's smooth coat.

"definitely. you know how drugs affect people differently?" he asks. you want to say no, you don't know that because why would you, but then you remember that there is quite literally a glass-blown bowl sitting on your kitchen table.

"sure." you reply honestly.

"it's the same with cats: some just feel the effects a little more." he shrugs. you think this over for a second.

"that makes sense."

"yeah, I'd estimate about an hour more of this wildcat behavior before he takes a ten-hour nap." he cracks another joke and you find yourself totally charmed by him. something about the way he talks just makes your heart beat like crazy.

"that's a relief."

he chuckles and stands up, grabbing the bag (which he never even had to use) and starting to walk out of the living room. you can smell his delicious cologne as he moves past you.

"sorry for making you come out here so late." you apologize from the couch. Wes turns to look at you with an easygoing expression. his free hand is tucked into his pocket.

"no worries. you have a lovely home." he gestures to the kitchen, and then at the bowl sitting there in the open. you have to fight the smile on your face.

"thanks." you're smirking. right before he's about to head back out, you ask a question that's been wriggling around in your mind since he arrived. "why no title?"

"you mean, like, Doctor or something?" he stops in the threshold. one hand leans against it while he answers your question. you still can't get over how tall he is.

"sure. I mean, you are a doctor, right?" it comes out more dubious than you intended, but he doesn't get offended, only smiles.

"yes, I'm a doctor. I went to Davis." he points like the school is right outside your door. you nod.

"cool."

there's a silence where you just look at each other, and you forget that you look like you just rolled out of bed. he clears his throat.

"to answer your question, I just go by Wes because you're not my patient-- Klimt is." he points to the kitten, who is now chasing his own tail like a dog. you snort at the sight.

"how humble of you."

"I know, right?" he's joking. you find yourself not wanting him to leave, even though you've really just met. he's so sweet and funny and handsome... your stomach is flipping over and over like a schoolgirl.

and it's stupid that you can't think of one plausible reason for him to stay, but every step he takes shortens your time to think. so you just blurt, instead.

"would you want a beer?"

Wes pauses and looks at you, an unreadable expression on his face. "a beer?"

"yeah, I mean... you came all the way out here and I just feel bad for causing a fuss over nothing." you scramble slightly to justify your words. you don't ever drink beer-- do you even have any? god, this is embarrassing.

the vet checks the watch on his wrist, then smiles at you with a halting kind of enjoyment, before nodding. "sure."

"okay, great." you turn on your heel to hide the grin on your face. he follows you again to the kitchen area and leans against the counter while you open the fridge. the best form of flirting you can manage right now is bending over shamelessly and taking your time to poke around.

thankfully, there are three cold bottles left towards the back. you take out two and use the tool in one of your drawers to pop the tops off. he watches patiently, takes a sip when you hand the drink to him. your eyes meet.

"so, what prompted the cat weed purchase?" he starts the conversation effortlessly, and you try to keep your eyes from wandering over the shape of him. now that he's just standing in front of you, you're noticing the way his sweater sits against his frame, his long legs and the way his head rests on an elegantly-proportioned neck.

"I just saw it and thought it would be fun." you shrug honestly. he smiles.

"do you think you're gonna let him try it again another time?"

"I don't know," you cross your arms over your chest. "I'm a little nervous, but he also was having a lot of fun until I made him sit still."

"fair enough." you both turn your gazes to the cat. he's nudging a little toy ball with his nose and watching it roll across the floor. there are tiny bells inside that jingle. Wes turns back to you. "what do you do?"

"graphic designer."

"an artist." he raises his brows, impressed.

"not exactly saving animal lives, but I get by." you take another sip of your drink.

"it's not like that, mostly." he rolls his eyes playfully.

"then what's it like?"

"I just see and talk to people's pets all day. it's a pretty great job, even when it's not. you know?" he's optimistic about it. you're drawn to his positive energy, to the way he smiles when he speaks like he's preparing to deliver a witty joke.

you're hopelessly attracted to him, and the space between you is becoming unbearable. even though he's a guy you just met, you can feel in your gut that something about this is just right. you want his body against yours.

"you okay?" he breaks what you only now realize is a silence, and you blink to clear the dirty images from your mind.

"yeah." only thinking about you fucking me against a countertop. it must be the fact that you haven't gotten laid in a while or something, because you usually aren't this attracted to people within the first hour. it takes longer for you to even want to kiss them.

"what kind of stuff do you design?" he seems genuinely interested as he shifts and continues to nurse his drink.

"I work for a tech startup downtown, so it's a lot of website work to make sure it's navigable and pretty." you try to sum up your duties, but it's hard when his hazel eyes are so intent. he listens to every word.

"do you do personal work, too? like, just for you?"

"actually, yeah!" this sparks your excitement.

"can I see?" his smile widens. "only if you're comfortable, of course."

"sure." you're beaming.

he stays put as you start to go out of the kitchen, but then you smile. "you can come with."

"oh." he sets his beer down on the counter and follows you, slightly surprised. but you don't care; you were nervous before, but he's stayed for this long. maybe he wants you, too.

once you get to your bedroom, you're grateful that it's been freshly cleaned. there's even a bouquet from the flower's market sitting on your dresser, and you head over to the desk to sift through the drawers for what you want.

"cool room." he compliments from the threshold. he's careful not to make you uncomfortable, but also can't resist the curiosity that draws his gaze from wall to wall. you find the stack of papers and smile.

"thanks," you place the folder in his hands. "these are some printed versions of stuff I did last year."

Wes immediately begins to flip through the art. him seeing your stuff makes you nervous, so you pretend to focus on straightening up the few items that sit on your desk. you wipe your fingertip over a nonexistent film of dust.

"these are amazing," he says, holding a card stock copy in between his index and middle fingers. "holy shit."

"thank you." you're trying to keep from smiling too hard. you can tell that he's being genuine with his compliments, and it makes your heart swell.

"definitely. are you showing anywhere?"

"at an exhibit downtown a couple months back, but I've been so busy with work that personal stuff hasn't really been on the table, you know?"

he nods in understanding and continues to go through until the end. when he's finished, he looks up and sees you, his eyes concentrated. he doesn't speak at first, and an undercurrent ripples across the room. there are about three feet between you, and you have no excuse to lessen it.

he licks his lips slowly. you purse yours, unsure of what to say.

"I'm glad you called tonight." his voice is lower, slightly uncertain, like he's testing the boundaries. except you don't want boundaries right now. you want to go wild on him.

"me, too." you reply. it's in your eyes, that begging for him to do what you're scared to initiate.

your tongue is pressed to the back of your teeth in anticipation. and when he sets the art back on your desk and comes closer, you feel yourself give in. bubbles of excitement travel up your body as he grabs your face and bends down to kiss you.

it's full, passionate, not the kind of kiss you give someone you've just met. laced with desire and longing, you respond immediately. hands immediately run to his forearms, over his shoulders as he imposes beautifully on your form. it's so hard, you lean back slightly. your torso presses against his until he pushes you against the wall.

the slight gasp that escapes your lips causes him to smile, followed by your moan and clutching fingers. the material of his sweater, the taste of him mingled with that sophisticated, gentle smell of cologne that you want printed all over your skin.

"come here." he murmurs against your mouth and reaches down to the back of your thigh so you can hook your leg around his waist. you whine at the easy access he has to grind against your core, both of you desperate.

"Wes." you pant into his open mouth. he sucks on your bottom lip before finding your cheek and jaw. his fingertips tighten around your flesh.

"this feel good, sweetheart?" he checks in. coincidentally, his jeans grind against your panties at exactly the right spot and your hips jump. you release a pleasured yelp.

"mhmm."

"sounds like it." he latches onto your throat with a possessive excitement. you can feel him sucking and biting at the skin until you're positive there'll be marks tomorrow. you hope there are; purpled evidence of his touch. he digs his nails into your thighs. "you like it when older men touch you, baby?"

he blows over your tender throat before attacking it again. you sigh contentedly at the way he mingles sensations for your pleasure. "yes."

he grunts and nips at your collarbone, sliding the strap of your top down your shoulder so that he can effortlessly flutter his lips over the skin. you grip at him and toss your head back against the wall. his weight on yours is divine. it makes you weak, but that doesn't matter. he's practically holding you up at this point.

when his hand pushes under the hem of your shirt and dances over your stomach, you arch your back for more. he's gentle yet firm, pulling you close like he wants to breathe your oxygen. he's tracing over your ribcage, all the way up to the valley of your breasts, before cupping one and moaning into your shoulder.

he kisses you again with an aching hunger that can't be satiated. your tongues meet and Wes finds your hardened nipples beneath the thin fabric of your bralette. you sigh while he starts to circle one with his thumb.

"you're perfect." he breathes.

you want to bask in this moment, to enjoy the shock across your skin when he reaches his hand back down between your bodies to dip below the waistband of your sweatpants, but you're just so greedy. he could make you cum over and over and it would never be enough.

"what do you want me to do to you?" Wes is hovering over your lower stomach, dangerously close to where you need him most. he's teasing. the warmth of his skin drives you mad. his breath brushes over the shell of your ear.

"fuck me." it's the only response you can fathom. every other instinct in your body flies out the window and is replaced by a craving to sink your proverbial (and literal) teeth into him.

but he loves it, apparently, because he pushes you back against the wall with a nearly bruising force. "I can do that."

with those words, he quickly grabs your other leg and lifts you into his arms, bringing you to the bed and laying you delicately on the mattress while you giggle. you stare up at him with an almost daydreamy lust. his cheeks are flushed.

you only get a second of that heavenly sight, though, before he dips down and pushes your shirt up to see your tits and kiss up the chasm between your ribs. his stubble tickles your skin, which causes you to smile.

by the time he's pulled your sweatpants off and tossed them to the side, you're whining for him to strip down as well.

"what is it, pretty girl?" he murmurs against your tummy. when you try to squeeze your thighs, he pushes them apart.

"I wanna see you." your fingertips touch at his sweater. he chuckles and pulls the garment over his head. it messes up his perfect hair even more and you love it, tangling your fingers in it. he bites his lip.

"do you want me to taste you first?" he keeps stroking the inside of your thighs and staring down at the skimpy lace that you're positive that you've already soaked. you're making him crazy with the way you roll your hips against air, against nothing, seeking any kind of stimulation.

"I can't wait." you shake your head. as nice as it would be, you're going to implode if he doesn't fill you up soon. he drags his fingers down your clothed slit and groans when he feels just how ready you are for him.

"let's take these off then, okay, sweetheart?" he hooks his fingers in the panties and waits for you to nod before tugging them down your legs. you whimper at the cool air that hits your core, soaked and needy. Wes stares at your body on display for him.

as he gets back up from the floor to kiss you again, you both work to remove the rest of his clothes. his skin is perfect under your hands. his chest is warm, solid, and when he climbs on top of you, his arms rest on either side of your head.

one hand comes down to grab his own cock and stroke it a few times before lowering himself to rub it against your throbbing clit. you whimper at the pressure; he's mindless when he feels how easily you cover him in your essence.

"so fucking wet..." he groans while rutting against you.

"Wes, please--" your breath hitches. "put it in."

"begging?" he teases your entrance with the head and smirks. "good girl."

"mhmm." you're smiling, but your mouth drops open when he pushes himself inside.

it's a heavy feeling, him filling you up. he's thick and the stretching of your walls makes him groan and rest his head on your shoulder. he kisses the skin there while diving deeper into your body.

you're shaking slightly from the mixture of pain and pleasure, his size forcing your body to work quickly to accommodate. your eyes are squeezed shut, but you run your hands over his back and shoulders to stay grounded. it feels like a dream.

he starts to pull out, coated in your wetness while you whimper below him, and he grabs your face with one hand in a dominant, soft gesture. "okay?"

"yeah."

he pushes back in. the air in your lungs is practically gone at this point, he's so deep inside. your eyes roll back and push your hips up to take him at a new angle. Wes finds his pace easily, rocking into your body at a manageable pace to let you get used to the sensation.

every time his hips roll down and he buries himself in you, he presses on your clit and sends a new shock through your body. he leans on his elbows to get closer and feel every undulation of your body. you love how his thrusts force your legs apart, how he moans your name and causes the headboard to repeatedly hit the wall while maintaining eye contact. hazel irises that rake over your features with lust.

"you feel so good." he speeds up a little when he hits a certain spot. you can feel him deep and hard, causing a small bump to rise in your stomach with each stroke. his voice is husky and dark. like a man starved.

"fuck..." you drag your nails down his back. he groans at the red marks that you will no doubt leave for him.

"clingy thing, huh?" he sucks at your throat affectionately. "I come over for one thing and you can't help yourself."

hearing Wes speak through his own panting is like listening to a secret, and you never want it to stop. he's reveling in the sordid crush of his own wants, and the way he shoves into you shows you that he has no intention of slowing down for a while.

"I'm impatient." you smirk. he pulls away to admire your expression.

"so am I." he kisses your lips and starts to pound into you. the juxtaposition of his tenderness and the sharp snap of his hips to yours fills you with butterflies. you love how much he wants to ruin you.

"Wes-- oh my god!" you whimper. he grabs your hips and yanks them closer to him so he can go as deep as possible, so he can hit your cervix.

"that's right, sweetheart," he pants. you can tell that he's starting to lose control. "say my name. I want everyone to know what a good little slut you are for me."

the commanding tone makes your body shake. "I- I'm cumming, Wes, please--"

"please what, baby?" he taunts. his index finger is tracing over your jaw.

you don't know what it is that you're wanting, except more. as your form shudders and tightens, walls fluttering around his cock, you lose the capacity to speak. you grind your hips against him and cry out pathetically while he pushes you back down and slams ruthlessly into your pussy.

"cum inside-- please, I need it--" you writhe. he groans at the request.

"fuck, yes..." he sheathes himself. "take it."

you gasp as he repeatedly hits your weakest point and spills hot ropes of his cum inside you, still thrusting in and out and whimpering into your shoulder at the clenching sensation you give his cock. it's warm, strangely delightful, nearly sending you into another orgasm sheerly from the sight.

he mutters unintelligibly as he empties himself in your pussy, but you catch a growled "so needy," between deep moans. you're clinging to him like you'll never have it again. you might not.

he slows down, giving shallower thrusts while riding out his high and shoving his cum deeper inside. it turns lazy and messy, both of you panting, before he finally pulls out and rolls over next to you.

you press the back of your hand to your forehead. it's sweaty from all the work he just put you through, but you feel amazing at the same time. your eyes keep flickering from the ceiling above to his rising and falling chest beside you. his nose twitches; he turns his head to look at your face.

although you expect him to say something, he doesn't. instead, you just stare at each other. the air conditioner rattles gently in the background. you're not sure how long this lasts, this soaking in, but he's the first to break it.

"hey."

you find the corners of your lips turning up. "hi."

"do you mind if I go get something to clean you up?" he asks softly, his fingertips finding your forearm with ease and drifting over it.

"sure. bathroom is the first door on the left."

he gets up and you watch him gather his clothes, eyes glued to his perfect form. you can't believe you just had sex with your veterinarian. you don't regret it at all.

he wanders out of the room and your eyes follow, only to see Klimt sitting patiently by the door.

"what are you doing, perv?" you tease as he comes over and leaps up onto the bed. his kitten paws pad over the blankets and settle into the crook of your arm. you smile to yourself, recalling how sweet the vet was with him. "hey, Wes?" you call out.

"yeah?" he comes back into the room with a warm washcloth and a small smile on his face.

"would you wanna get coffee or something sometime?" you bite your lip. maybe he doesn't want to go on a date, but it's worth a shot.

"sure." he breaks into a grin that makes you giddy. thank god, because you really were hoping to see him again.

you can't wait.

taglist (lmk about adding/removal or add yourself to the list here!): @jareids @reidsconverse @xoxomgg @may-b-a-u-shewritestoo @la-vie-en-amour1 @g0lden-cth @treat-winchesterswith-kindness @kisseslikecoffee @spenxerslut @slutforthegubes @spookydrreid @depressedgothgrl @flipper-kisses @multixfandomwriter @willowrose99 @gingeraleluke @chasemoonlight @spencerreid9

#matthew gray gubler #mgg #mgg x reader #wes x reader #wes dollface #mgg smut #mgg fluff #mgg character smut #mgg characters #dollface

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levisgirll · 3 years

Note

hi it me uWu I read your first headcanon and can I just that I am surprised that's your first headcanon?!??? Because it's honestly SO good and you sound like a pro at this!! I want to request a headcanon with Kakashi if possible please (sorry I'm not a levi girl haha). I want it to be kinda like a domestic affectionate husband role while I am like a workaholic wife who always never seems to get a break from life. I look forward to what you will write!! (lmk if you need more details)

𝐊𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧

text: Omg hey!! Thank you so much for your sweet words 🥺💙and yes it is my first headcanon post I have made and I'm so glad to hear that you found it good!! 😭✨. Well, I did say I am open to any request (but the things I post personally are usually Levi or other AOT characters but anyone is free to request a character!!) so sure thing Kakashi Hatake is it! (I really enjoyed writing this so ty for this request). now I'm simping for husbando kakashi- Also note I made it more like focusing how both y/n and kakashi are like a married couple and what they do/say to each other so hope that’s alright too ^^

synopsis: kakashi hatake is y/n’s husband, while you, as his wife, being a workaholic and how is both of your lives are like in a modern AU. (incoming some adorable headcanon-)

comedy and cute fluff ♡—

First off, you and I mean Y/N is the ONLY one who can see Kakashi without his mask. He feels that his wife is the only person in the world who is only allowed to see him without his mask and cause he loves and trusts you a lot. He feels only comfortable showing it to his amazing wife and no one else, not even Guy sensei (even though they were buddies since they were kids). His love for you is strong.

He would send you random messages during your work saying “Yo! make sure to take care of yourself alright?....Also, do you wanna order food tonight?”

You both work and I definitely see Kakashi in a modern AU with a job as a teacher and he would brag to you about his students. Especially Naruto (won’t shut the fuck up in the class) and Sasuke and how they always fight, making him slowly gonna lose it with them one day.

Also, he would talk to you about Shikamaru being such a rascal that gets on his nerves whenever he corrects him in class, or sleeps and whenever he says “Sensei, going to your lessons is such a drag..” and his friend Choji eats a lot of snacks at the back of the class but Kakashi secretly takes one of his snacks without him knowing.

Whenever he mentions them to you during dinner time, you feel at ease and even chuckle and start to relax. And he knows that cause he has seen you been so busy lately with work and he wants to always see you laugh and not tense up.

You both have the same timing of your break time so, you being such a workaholic, you try to even work during the breaks but someone stops you by doing that. Your awesome husband. Kakashi literally rings you even 5 minutes before your break from a video call.

You guys would defiantly match clothes and he loves that so much.

Kakashi catches you sometimes wearing his mask and he finds that so cute, it melts his heart. “Haha, you are so adorable!” and he would give you his happy face smile and hug you as you blush. You always get embarrassed and shy whenever he throws in comments such as “you look hot”, “you are my sweetheart” and etc.. and he knows that! but does it on purpose cause he likes to see how you get all red and especially in public ;)

During the weekends, he knows you wake up early to work and so he decided to change that and make the weekends to bake! Every morning in the weekend you guys would bake cookies and muffins and they smell and taste so good. (you eventually forget the load of work you had to do and Kakashi notices that and he gets happy lowkey-)

Okay, he is a big fan of reading, and so he loves reading comics and fanboys about it to you!

During your work, as you wait for the next customer you would get a random message from him and he would send screenshots of the comic and he’s like “Omg dear, did you read the latest chapter?!”. You know he is all excited so you texted him back. “Hm, No why?”. “Quick!! Go read it before I spoil it!”

Would chill and vibe with you for sure whenever you play some music and both of you are sitting at the balcony, stargazing.

He is in charge of cooking most of the time cause he knows you have more work than him and whenever he cooks, oh...it’s amazing and that’s one of the best things when you get back home after a long day.

He would brush your hair every time whenever you go out to work which is usually earlier than him

Whenever you sleep together, he would cover you up with the comforter while you sleep and would later hug you around your shoulders, he does that to hold you and also to shield you (it’s a habit of his and its cute)

He would give you also a thumbs up all the time before you leave and say “Good luck dear with work!” (it’s now your lucky charm before you leave work). Oh, and he would always remind you to take your lunch that he packs for you every early morning and he would usually put a cute little note there saying ‘Don't overwork yourself!’

I feel like he would get another small tattoo on his wrist after marrying Y/N.

During breaks if your work place is near his, you guys would have cafe break dates and he would literally recharge even if he sees a glimpse of you.

You guys have his pet dog, Pakkun, one of his smallest cute dogs who is usually grumpy but ever since Pakkun met you, they loved you instantly and listens to you instead of Kakashi. Ha....This damn dog. He would think and twitch his eyes as Pakkun is all over you. (The dog is doing that on purpose to piss Kakashi off).

Makes you stay up with him late at night reading comics and the stories you both like to spazz about it and he loves doing that with you.

All his students thought he is a lonely sad man who lives alone with his dog and reads comics.

He once caught Naruto using his phone in class and he was going to give him detention but....he was shocked to find him reading the comic that Kakashi and his wife liked the most.

Kakashi: “Naruto! I told you not to use your......Oh.” Damn he is in chapter 34 already?! I need to caught up, this little kid is fast.

“Hm...Sensei?...WAIT! YOU READ IT TOO!” Naruto would scream and get up from his seat. “Naruto, shut up you are being loud.” Shit.

He would text you immediately after that. “Omg...Y/N! Naruto reads our favorite comic!!”

Y/N: “NO WAY! Bond with this kid, he seems cool.”

After that, his favorite student is Naruto and they become pretty close but still finds him annoying, although Kakashi finds him as a good kid. And when they have parent teacher conference, Kakashi wouldn’t mention to Minato and Kushina that he uses his phone during class or skipping some classes.

Alright! I hope you enjoy this and you liked it :,) And if anyone else did do leave a like and reblog ♡ (I really had fun with this-)

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