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cydanite · 7 months

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"You remember that you are a distinct being with a finite form and a mortal body."

!!SPOILERS for the ending of StP!!

Concept sketch for my interpretation of Slay the Princess’s protagonist. I like the canon vagueness of his design, but I came up with a concept I wanted to explore c:

He has 2 pairs of wings, one on his head and one on his back. The "Narrator", in trapping him, clipped his wings and disguised them as hair and a cloak. Best to not to give any reminder that flying out of the woods is even an option.

The smaller pair wrap around his head like hair, the few remaining primaries folding over each other as bangs. On the “thumb” of the wings are birds feel, decoratively chained together. Don’t be fooled into thinking that chain isn’t meant to hold, though.

The larger pair drapes limply off his shoulders like a cloak. It’s fastened by an X shape. You know the one, when people are lazy with drawing medieval clothing (myself included) we use it as a closure, a formless cross drawstring. You don’t question it when you see it. You wouldn’t suspect it’s two massive metal staples puncturing his flesh.

He can’t see his wings for what they are, so he doesn't feel through them. Not until he can manage to remember...

(also i wrote a snippet hehe)

The Narrator: The pain is threefold.

First comes stiffness, an ancient ache creeping in from the edge of your perception.

Awareness of this newfound sensation latches on to your mind and pulls, quickly fracturing into a sprawling map of new body parts.

It’s your hair. It hurts, in ways hair shouldn't be able to hurt. Every fiber protests against you despite being just hair mere moments ago.

The fabric of your cloak betrays you as well. You're inescapably aware of the space you now take up. New, itching, uncomfortable, ugly sensations form all down your back.

Voice of the Hero: It's like we just regained blood circulation there. We're being stabbed a thousand times over.

The Narrator: It doesn't end there. Injuries that previously gone unnoticed now make themselves known. You recall running sharp fingers through your hair. Only now can you feel the dried blood. You would've taken better care of that cloak if you'd known it was made up of you.

Voice of the Hero: But what's happening to us?

The Narrator: The web of pain maps out its shape. Two pairs of feathered wings become part of your body once again.

Voice of the Hero: 'Once again'... having wings makes sense, I suppose. But how could we have forgotten this? It seems so inescapable now.

The Narrator: But as you go to reign motor over your limbs once again, the third pain rears it’s ugly head… cold, harsh metal digs into your flesh.

It pins your limbs in their poses. A tiny set of cuffs pull small wings taught around the circumference of your head.

The closure of your "cape" is two enormous staples, staked through your flesh and clamped down hard. There's no blood here, the wound long since healed.

...Who or whatever did this to you, it was never intended to be removed.

Voice of the Hero: Maybe we should keep more vigilant in the future. If we can't trust our own body... I don't want to think about it more than we have to.

#im mushing this game and it's characters around in my hands like silly putty. Rotating in my head isnt enough #ask to tag. I feel like just maybe this deserves a content warning but idk what that would be #slay the princess #slay the princess spoilers #stp spoilers #stp the hero #stp the protagonist #stp the long quiet #slay the princess fanart #black tabby games #blood #mutilation #body horror #tw body horror #non-consensual body modification #thank you worldbeyondtheworld for the tag suggestions!

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darkwood-sleddog · 2 years

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some of you have never had to help a terrified peer find a place to get a safe abortion in a state that offers little and it shows.

#not dogs #roe v wade #college was an interesting time #didn't even know the girl well but i came from a state that always had good access to abortion #and then to go to school in a place that was harder #angered me a lot #tbf vermont is also the least religious state by a long shot and i think that helps with a lot of our protections we've put in place #but going into the bible belt and even the mid west was SHOCKING #like yall's parents religious and not just easter christians? yikes #people acting like all of this won't affect them bc they're ace or in a same sex relationship please consider compassion #or the fact that non consensual sex can actually oh idk result in pregnancy #stay safe out there people

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xviruserrorx · 8 months

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"Is it the smell of power in the room? I think this will never shift from me to you. My spot is taken, try different view." - Distressor by Gothic Tropic

For @polyamships polyshipday #31 "De-stress" (And a teeny tiny fic to go with it if it so Interests you)

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mydemonsdrivealimo · 3 months

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ik realistically i never got a lot of love for jensen and bryce bc oh my god a queer pairing of color?????? fucking tragic i know but also i like to pretend its just bc they are too complex for the mere cishet choices player to understand 😌

#no bc fr otherwise ill just be sad :')#on one hand i love laying everything on the line from day one #my first fic was a demiro bryce fic which scared off all the bryce romancers bc god forbid i go against the general consensus hc #and like sure i dont want them there if they cant appreciate or try to understand other hcs #but on the other hand like how fucking disappointing is that???#like its just so fucking tragic #this fandom is such a non queer friendly place #and not usually in the literal bright red im queerphobic way #but in the small ways that are so obvious #to queer people but maybe not the rest #and idk i just.. miss a lot of the people that were here when i started ig??#like ik im the one who bothered to stay this long but also like i just want people to enjoy media/hc bc theyre good???#like not bc they fit a trope you like??#idk im just wishing for something that isnt a thing here #and i Know it #but still #to have friends who love the characters i do would be so nice #just to gush about them yk #but the second i came here with a different hc it immediately set me too far apart from everyone else #and on one hand i Am annoyed #but on the other i just ignore it bc if i paid attention to it i might rip somebody's arm off #n e ways that was a nice mj ramble for you all youll never get it again

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baekuras · 10 months

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Baldurs Gate 3 is great because I keep getting into difficult situations since I can't stop myself from just walking on with a party that's either half dead or will be because no one has spells left

#txts #in other news i am underground and saw some petrified drows and my alarm bells rang for once #i don't trust that one bit #if there isn't a beholder around smth similar probably is #so i did actually long rest for once #only to wake up in the middle of the night to a non consensual murder attempt #not surprised but also gdi I am trying to sleep #if its not a devil or the guardian it's racism #baldur's gate 3 #i managed to stop myself rn-aka midnight #altho i do wanna get back #but i am a bit tired and my vacation is over so...i...cant #not until tuesday afternoon #or tomorrow evening if i have any energy left #so anyway what part time jobs pay well? rly wish i could at least have 3 days off x-x

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cherrymoonvol6 · 5 months

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Hey your analysis are nice. Do you want to share your opinion on common/popular TOH proships? As an also proship-but-not-really-THAT-proship, I'm interested in hearing what you have to say.:)

:D thank you for your nice words!

truthfully the reason why i call myself a proship is that, as a label, it aligns way more with my outlook in media and the way that i consume it. i'm just interested in well-told stories and interesting dynamics, and often that means that i gravitate towards those pairings that deal more with obstacles and conflict. but fandom hates that sort of stuff, mainly because discourse in that wavelength brings the worst out of people every single time. and like, i think it's important to address how certain tropes or execution of characters/narrative beats could correlate to the thing in real life, kinda like the works of youtube channels like pop culture detective or lindsay ellis. i believe there's a lot of value in that and it's interesting to explore and it's been a very helpful tool to understand other perspectives. but also, the moment that people in fandom begin to have discussions about something in media as if it's Real and happening in our world, i just fall asleep immediately lmfao. mostly because like, why would you analyze a piece of media through the only lens that DOESN'T acknowledge this media as a work of fiction? what's the point of media existing then, to begin with?

this is why i've never liked certain huntlow criticism, like willow using her magic to physically push hunter around. IMO willow could stab hunter through the heart and laugh it off and it wouldn't change anything, because hunter is not real. it's pointless to me to be all up in arms about it when he can't be harmed, not like a real person could. the most offensive thing about huntlow is that it's boring as shit and takes up space where luz's story could've been expanded and developed better. and thinking about it like that allows me to meet the story where it's at, instead of getting stuck on little nitpicks that, if they were to be taken out of the story, wouldn't make huntlow a better couple because their problem in the show is different and far bigger. now, you could argue that in certain places, willow's forceful attitudes towards hunter diminish his agency as a character, like how she makes the decision for hunter to come back to the team by yanking him to the courtyard. you could argue that it's dumb that willow is shown to be more powerful and resourceful than hunter when we know hunter is essentially a child soldier and willow just goes to highschool. and then i'd agree with you and i'd be willing to keep talking about it, because we're back to understanding the show in its own terms, and talking about it as it is: a connected thread of narrative beats and characters written by a team of people with the objective of telling a story. also, you could question the ethics of making willow treat hunter that way in a kids show, kinda saying that women being forceful with guys is okay and funny, and i would also be willing to considerate it through that perspective. but it's just the conceptualizing of the least impactful aspects of hunter and willow's dynamic (like, 10 total seconds in the entirety of the show of willow manhandling him for an in-show joke) as a huge problem that feels pointless to me.

all this preamble is to say that a lot of TOH ships in general fail to really catch my attention. this comes in part to my personal preference in ships. i think it's important that all the people involved in a dynamic have agency in order for their interactions to be really interesting. this is why i've never been into empgold, for example, given how their relationship works in canon: belos grooms hunter into a distorted understanding of the outside world, which leads hunter to close himself off and trust belos and belos only. and then that changes in hollow mind, and their dynamic essentially shatters from there. the resolution of hunter rejecting him and choosing his own path, as it happens in TTT, is therefore a sound conclusion. like, there's not really a lot a fucked psycho-sexual stuff or romantic interest can add to their dynamic, IMO. mainly because the moment hunter finds agency in their dynamic, the whole premise of it falls apart. only deviating their characters from their canon identities could make it more interesting, but at that point we're no longer talking about the characters from the show, are we.

at first glance a ship like beluz could be better in that regard, because luz has agency in the dynamic. she rejects belos over and over, and even manages to get the upper hand in a few occasions (see: king's tide). but looking at their interactions in canon, every time they talk to each other is like they're both interacting with a brick wall: luz is dead set in protecting the witches, and belos is dead set in going through with his philosophy. in that sense, that part in hollow mind where belos goes "can't reason with crazy" is a perfect embodiment of how their dynamic goes lol. even the whole angle of luz fearing she's becoming like philip is window dressing, because she's just being paranoid out of the guilt of the selfish decisions she's taken during the show: not at any point does this parallel make any real sense in canon, and then it's swiftly shut down by the end. it makes sense why this works like that in canon, because belos is supposed to be the irredeemable villain, as the ending shows. maybe there's more window for this to be changed though, because of the wittebane story. and obviously as a lunter enthusiast i'm no strange to using these hints and integrating them in the story to make it a better one. but personally, i just don't see the appeal -- and i'm not a belos enthusiast either, like i see other lunterinas tend to be.

from what i know those two are the more popular proships in the show. there's probably other stuff with the collector and king, or the actual incest pairings, but tbf i'm just pretty uninterested in any other ship in the show besides lunter. it's funny though, because i don't even think lunter has the most potential in the show -- i think lumity could be the best one under the right circumstances, if you could even believe me lol. but this involves a fundamental change in the premise of the show along, kinda converting amity into the deuteragonist by making her become the golden guard by the end of S1. it solves the issue of amity having zero connection to the plot, it adds stakes to luz and amity's relationship, also gives amity a lot more agency... i think that would be the best version of a love interest for luz in the show. but also i fear that that would make it so amity overshadows luz in the narrative. like, idk, a lot of stuff would need to be changed there. and that's what makes it hard to truly envision what the best (aka, the most interesting) version of lumity could look like. in lunter's case, we already have a case in canon of luz being the evelyn to hunter's caleb, and if you watched episodes like "hunting palismen" or "hollow mind" with no knowledge of lumity, i'm sure a lot of people could see the potential of their bond becoming romantic in the future. stuff like luz sadly looking back at hunter at the end of HP or hunter taking luz's hand in HM is pure ship fodder tbh and i'm tired of pretending it's not.

i've also toyed with the idea of terra and raine becoming an interesting dynamic in an universe where lilith and raine got condensed into a unique character. i've mentioned this before in my ideas of making eda and raine a better couple (cause good lord they're just as bad as every other couple in the show and i don't understand how people can deem them as "the good one" ?????), and to realize that it's raine's dynamic with terra that would be more appealing to me if those changes were real is very funny to me. there's also a lot that would need to be changed but so, so much untapped potential. however, it's another case where whatever is in canon barely resembles the best version of their dynamic, and it's hard to picture it with how raine and terra actually behave in the show. in that sense, they're very similar to beluz: raine's mind is completely made up at all times, which means that they would never accept terra's vision of the future.

of course, this is all my opinion. like i said, this also comes down to my personal taste in dynamics. like for example i'm personally not into poly ships in media, only for narrative reasons (economic storytelling: the optimal number is always 2). it's hard to find something that strikes that perfect balance between fucked-up and salvageable, and some of my beloveds like jackparse (from the check please comic) or asgoriel (from undertale) are some examples of that. but in true proship fashion, i think any pairing that you could come up in the show is fine. and of course i'm happy to share my opinions (and bless you anon for giving me a reason to yap about my thoughts <3), but they're just my opinions and the way that i personally approach media. you can like any dynamic in the show, platonic or romantic or sexual or whatever, and it's fine. they're not real people. that's the fun of media, that's the point of it: it's a playground to test ideas and make them interact. as long as you're doing that, all is fine by me.

#answered #long post #proship #uhhh i'm unsure how to tag this #guess i'll go with the easiest one #anti huntlow #the whole point of being proship is that you're ok w everything. not necessarily that you're going to ship the most problematique stuff #like i dislike most non-consensual stuff in fics because it icks me. but people can write whatever the f they want about anything and anyon

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deathaureated · 1 year

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@ofpowr said: “ i don’t want to have another surgery. ”

Were ALL children this difficult to keep alive?

❝ Is that so? Well perhaps next time you’ll think TWICE before disregarding my simple instructions in favour of throwing yourself into the river at this time of year when the water is so turbulent. ❞ Mori calmly told the boy as he finished fastening the last of the four-point medical restraints, immobilizing his wrists & ankles.

He knew by now not to turn his back on the boy while preparing to treat him, lest he attempt to climb out the window or snatch one of the many medications lining the shelves despite his injuries. ❝ You have three fractured ribs, as well as acute lacerations internally on several organs from where you hit the rocks. If I don’t take care of it soon, you’re in for a rather PAINFUL infection, Dazai-kun. ❞

The doctor’s voice never faltered from a calm, pleasant tone as he reached for Dazai’s right arm & began to unwrap his bandages, cold fingers pausing at the sight of new wounds beneath he knew hadn’t been there a week ago. He studied the child’s face with a clinical disapproval. ❝ Your technique is sloppy, Dazai-kun. We’ll have to brush up on your lessons once you’re on your feet again, hmm? ❞

He prepared a syringe & vial, sighing. What a headache this boy could be. ❝ I’m going to give you a dose of localized anesthetic for the pain, followed by a neuromuscular blocker to keep your lower body paralyzed while I make the incision & see what we’re dealing with, rather than an intravenous sedation this time. I’ll need you AWAKE for this procedure since I intend to teach you more about the mechanism of injury so we can hopefully avoid any further incidents like this next time you find yourself in want of something to do. I’ve positioned a mirror at the end of your bed so you can see for yourself how this procedure works. Do try to pay ATTENTION, alright? ❞

With a smile that was probably meant to be reassuring, he leaned over Dazai with the syringe in hand, & a moment later a sharp PINCH could be felt in his upper abdomen, right between the area where his liver & spleen were located.

#Child Abuse //#Non Consensual Drugging //#Medical Abuse //#Implied Suicide //#Implied Self Harm //#V; Fractured Shadows #ofpowr #D #DYN. You Remind Me Of Someone I Knew Long Ago { Mori & Dazai }#Leave It On The Desk { Answered }

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batkidsandco · 8 months

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I'm Counting On You To Be My Wings And My Eyes

Chapter 2

Bruce frowned at the screen as the loading symbol continued to spin. This is taking too long he thought as he lowered himself into the chair. Since they’d brought Tim home Bruce had spent every spare moment looking for Dollmaker. Not that he had as much spare time now a days. Glancing at the clock on the screen he sighed and stood back up. He’d been working all night and now it was morning. Stifling a yawn he made his way out of the Batcave and upstairs to Tim’s room. *** Tim was lying in bed his eyes wide open and his head turned towards the door. He’d heard someone approaching his room and though he couldn’t see he suspected it was day time.

‘Hey Timmy boy ready to get up?’ he heard Bruce’s voice from the doorway. Tim nodded. ‘OK and do you need cleaning up first?’ this time a shake. He wasn’t sure if he was grateful for this choice of wording everyone seemed to have settled on. On one hand he didn’t think he would be comfortable being asked if his diaper needed changing. But on the other hand it felt like everyone was avoiding saying anything that would force them to fully face the reality of their situation.

‘Alright I’m going to pick you up now.’ He felt his bed sheets being pulled back before he was lifted off the bed before being placed back down on top of the covers. Once they’d decided on what Tim was going to wear that day, Bruce would give him two options for his top and pants which Tim would pick by clicking his tongue once or twice, it was time to get him dressed for the day. Carefully maneuvering his arms Bruce pulled his t-shirt off of him then his Pajama pants before pulling his clothes on. Once he was dressed Bruce picked him up again and placed him in his wheelchair before putting his socks on followed by his shoes.

‘Right I’ll just give your hair a tidy and then we can get you some breakfast.’ Tim felt his chair being pushed towards what he knew was his bathroom. There he heard Bruce sit himself down on the chair before hearing the sound of something being run through his hair. Closing his eyes he focused on the sound and the feeling of Bruce’s rough scarred hand on top of his own. Tim knew he wasn’t a touchy person, or a talkative one so he was very grateful that when it was just the two of them he made the effort to talk to him more, or even just hold his hand like this. Tim couldn’t stand it when he couldn’t hear or feel anyone in the room with him. It was funny before he’d loved his own company every now and then. Now it scared him, made him feel even more vulnerable than he already did in a crowded room.

‘I’m going to find Dollmaker.’ He heard Bruce mutter though Tim wasn’t sure if he was talking to him or thinking out loud. ‘I’m going to find him, make him fix this, fix what he’s done. And if he won’t or god forbid can’t… Well I don’t have to kill him to make him sorry.’ Was there any fixing this? Would someone like Dollmaker every be sorry he’d hurt someone, anyone the way he had Tim? Probably not but until they knew for certain he’d let Bruce keep telling him there was. Lifting his head up to where the voice was coming from and gave a small smile. As he did so Bruce lifted Tim’s hand and placed it on his forehead.

‘Now let’s get you something to eat, before Alfred comes looking for the both of us.’

#fanfic #my fanfiction #batfamily #dc #tim drake #bruce wayne #living doll #human experimentation #non consensual body modification #long post

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the-mjolnir-owner · 8 months

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☀ What’s your rp pet peeve?

The salty af munday meme

People who are only trying to f*ck or get f*cked by Thor. Trust me, that's quite a LOT.

#ooc #the number of asks I delete is unbelievable #as a woman this is kinda jarring #mcu and comics endorse this situation #by putting thor in similar suggestive situations #he's been a victim of assault and r*pe for a long while now #and sometimes he's still portrayed to look hot in violent non-consensual scenarios #clothes being ripped? characters who should help commenting on his looks instead? gratuitous groping and squeezing? been there done that

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marshmallord · 2 years

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me: hmm i think i’ll check up on the twitter side of the kinnporsche fandom

the twitter side of the kinnporsche fandom: they watered down 😡😡 the vegaspete story!!!1!!!11!1 where is 🤨🤨🤨 my rape?????? 😩 they’re submitting 🤬🤬 to the prudes 😒😒😒😒

#WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE TWITTER SIDE OF THIS FANDOM #i’m gonna cry. stop complaining about them taking the rape out what the fuck #i really hope that the bit of groping and non-consensual touching we got in ep 11 was it #my bar for a ship has never been so low #‘hmm i’m fine with torture and groping and manipulation #just so long as there isn’t rape’#THE BARE MINIMUM FOR VEGASPETE #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #kinnporche #kinnporche the series #vegas x pete #vegaspete

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sizablelad · 1 year

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some men really do not know how to take no for an answer.

#leave me ALONE #it’s so exhausting taking time to say ‘sorry not happening tonight’ instead of ignoring #and just being totally ignored myself. and usually sent a follow up dick pic #need to learn to use the block button more liberally #OR. BLOCKING YOU AND YOU MAKING A NEW ACCOUNT TO ASK ME WHY I BLOCKED YOU.#MAYBE THIS IS WHY.#sometimes it feels like they wouldn’t care if it was fully non consensual #as long as they got their dick wet

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junkdaw · 1 year

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god i want someone to lay on top of me not in a sexual way but in a im touch starved and like weighted blankets kinda way

#i think it would fix me #i haven't properly touched a human in so long #it's all fleeting touches #the last time someone held me for anywhere close to how i needed was six months ago #but i can't ask for shit cause trauma #can't be high maintenance or needy or clingy #it'll bite you in the ass #if i'm being honest with myself i've never been held how i needed #it was either not enough or too much #or non consensual #being touched non consensually as a kid even as a joke fucked me up #i told everyone i hated hugs and touch to make it stop #i don't though #i like being touched and held #i miss holding hands and hugging and cuddling #soft touches to the back to say i'm there #walking through fields holding hands #hugs after a nightmare #i have more feelings about this then i thought #rants and rambles

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proudfreakmetarusonniku · 2 years

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Day 14: Die A Hero Or Live Long Enough To See Yourself Become The Villain.

The Disc Finale in a Protegeinnit AU. Ordered by Dream to kill Tubbo, Tommy's confidence falls apart once Tubbo shows he really does care. Reluctantly carrying through (more for Tubbo than anything), he's prevented from even doing funerary rites. Warnings for abuse, broken friendships, referenced human experimentation, self dehumanisation and victim blaming, referenced non-consensual body modification (enchantment tatttoos), self hatred, a weird combination of assisted suicide and murder by proxy, graphic descriptions of death and corpses, and religious themes. AO3 link, if you’d prefer.

“Tommy?”

Tubbo’s voice sounded different to how Tommy remembered it, the tiniest bit deeper, the slightest bit more mature. He’d grown older, Tommy realised with a pang of jealousy, and no matter how much Dream made him hide the evidence through hair dye and raised collars, he would not.

He was taller, too. (Tommy hadn’t grown an inch.) He’d gained back some fat and muscle, and was looking healthier. (No matter how much Tommy ate- Dream insisted, for some fucking reason, even though he was never hungry- he stayed stick-thin and far too weak for a proper protege). His hair was tied back in a messy ponytail, and he wore his favourite green shirt. (Prime knows Dream would throw a fit if Tommy so much as tried to do his own hair, let alone choose his hairstyle or clothes).

Jealousy cut through him like a hot knife.

Maybe he could do this, then. Maybe he could kill the boy who claimed to be his best friend, who’d sent him astray, who he now suddenly felt such hatred towards. Maybe he could prove to Dream that he was worthy. (Maybe Dream wouldn’t go through with his threat of switching the revival experiments to Tubbo because he didn’t want anyone to have to go through that suffering who didn’t deserve it, and Tommy knew he deserved far worse.)

And then Tubbo tackled him into a warm embrace, tight but not like the imprisoning vice grip he was used to, and all that certainty vanished.

“We thought- we thought you were dead. I missed you so, so, so much. I’ll get you out of here, I promise. I’ll get you home.”

Tommy furrowed his brow. He was home. He didn’t deserve L’Manberg- the residents had made that clear- and it was gone now anyway. He was a stupid kid who couldn’t survive on his own. His only place was with Dream- and besides, not only did Dream all but own him, he was the only person in the world who’d not only care about an annoying brat like him but see him as the diamond in the rough he apparently was.

Just what was Tubbo going for with this?

Tubbo pulled away, almost as reluctant as Dream always got, looking down at Tommy in concern. “I’m sorry, I should have checked if you were… Are you okay? Has he hurt you? Why are you here, bossman?”

Always answer questions. That was part of the rules. “I’m fine. Not unless I deserve it, usually. Because this is my home.” Tommy kept his voice measured, calm. He didn’t know how Tubbo would react, didn’t have that intuitive sense of what to do that he’d learnt around Dream, so being guarded seemed like the best option.

Tubbo looked at him like he’d grown two heads, and Tommy flinched back, so sure he’d be hit that he didn’t understand why he couldn’t feel the familiar guiding pain, only to open his eyes and see Tubbo with his arms raised in a gesture of peace.

The two stayed there, staring at each other, for an amount of time that could have as easily been seconds or hours, before laughter made them both jump.

“What a touching reunion.” Tommy relaxed at Dream’s voice, while Tubbo tensed. “Unfortunately, I don’t have all day, so maybe you should just say your goodbyes. After all, you haven’t forgotten the whole point of this, right, Tommy?”

Tommy hung his head. “Course not, Dream. Sorry, man.”

“Wait, Tommy, what the fuck is going on?” There was no panic or surprise in Tubbo’s voice, just genuine confusion. “Why the hell are you working with that green bitch all of a sudden?”

Tommy took his mask out of his inventory, pausing to examine the cat-smile and sharp eyes crudely drawn onto it with a sense of sadness. That was the one part of his appearance he had any sort of control over, and he loathed to take it off. Dream made him when they weren’t on missions, of course, but he’d ordered Tommy to wait without it here for reasons that suddenly seemed to make a lot more sense. “I’ve… it’s been me the whole time.”

There was no betrayal on Tubbo’s face, just a sad acceptance. “I thought you sounded familiar, you know. I heard you crying that one time.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Tommy’s face flushed with embarrassment. He’d broken down after destroying L’Manberg, and just started sobbing and screaming and throwing a right tantrum on his way back to the base, instead of doing it in his room like he’d grown accustomed to. Of course, he was swiftly punished for that slip-up, but that hurt less than the idea of an enemy catching him at his lowest. “Fuck you, fuck you, that never happened.”

Despite everything, Tubbo chuckled at that. “Glad to see you’re still yourself, man. I…” There was an expression on Tubbo’s face that Tommy couldn’t place, and the unpredictability frightened him. Things he didn’t know usually equalled a new type of pain. “What did Dream do to you?”

“He fixed me.” Tommy took out his sword, glowing netherite with enchantments delicately carved in the same handwriting as those tattooed on his wrists, covered by the bulky red-and-green “friendship bracelets” Dream insisted he wear. For some reason, his palms were slippery, shaking like a leaf, and he fumbled, trying not to drop it. “And now, I’m going to fix you.”

Tommy expected anger. Fear. Some sort of fight. Instead, Tubbo just gave him a sad, sad smile, and closed his eyes. “Well. Go ahead.”

“I- what?” Tommy blinked, convinced he must be hallucinating again.

“I’ve had a good run, y’know? I’ve done a lot. Besides, if I had to die at anyone’s hands… it’d be you.” The laugh Tubbo gave was humourless. “You know I don’t have anything left. With you and L’Manberg gone… maybe, y’know, I wasn’t meant to be around this long anyway?”

That was what finally made Tommy choke up, from a few scant tears to bawling his eyes out in seconds. His sword dropped unceremoniously on the floor, and he fell to his knees.

Tubbo knelt down in front of him and, with as shaking hands as Tommy’s own, pressed the sword back into his hands. “C’mon, if there’s one last thing you can do, even if we’re not friends anymore… just, do it quick. Please.”

The idea felt wrong, itchy on his skin, but… they really weren’t friends anymore, weren’t they? That, too, was a lie he had to discard, the idea that he could ever spend time with Tubbo like in the old days. No, Tommy’s friend- his only friend- was Dream, and the sooner he admitted that, the easier it’d get, both for Tommy and those he foolishly tried to drag into the painful process of Dream healing him.

No, Tubbo wasn’t his friend anymore, but Tommy could do this one thing for him and pretend, just for a moment.

He closed his eyes, and shakily thrust his sword forward.

Death wasn’t pretty like it was in the movies. Tommy knew that well from his own experiences, and strangulation wasn’t even that bad, really. No, this was worse- the resistance of flesh and bone giving way to an awful cracking sound, choked gasping, blood soaking his fingers wet, and it was so hard for Tommy to bear opening his eyes. Hard, but necessary.

Tommy had never been to a Primian funeral, but he’d learnt the rites the night before he first went into battle. Muttered the prayers under his breath to the bloodied jacket of Wilbur’s- he wouldn’t have appreciated it, and he didn’t deserve it anyways, but if it even gave the slightest chance that the Primes could guide his soul somewhere better, he’d have done it a million times.

“M-may your spirits be cleaned in the light of the Bells.” Tommy’s voice was shaky as he started tracing the holy symbol on Tubbo’s forehead, not daring to look down any further. Even then, it was a horrific sight, grey eyes rolled back, strawberry blond curls matted with blood, and somehow a content smile on his face that barely seemed forced. “And-“

He flinched as a hand grasped his shoulder harshly, dragging him. “We’re done here, Tommy,” Dream said, his voice harsh like the strike of his axe. “Let’s not waste any more time.”

“Please, just let me- let me bless him, Dream, just give me a few seconds, please. I can’t let-“

Tommy’s panicked stream of consciousness was cut off by a sharp slap to his face, and he could feel barely-healed bruises starting to swell up again. “Why do you care? He’s an enemy. He doesn’t deserve the love of the Gods. What, did you forget he abandoned you? Are you that stupid?”

Tommy lowered his head. “No, Dream. ‘M sorry, Dream.”

“You better be. Now, let’s get going.”

Tommy didn’t resist as he was dragged away, but he closed his eyes and finished a silent prayer in his head.

And may you one day sit with the Gods and the Prime above, watching over us all.

#whumptober2022 #no.14 #die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain #dream smp #fic #abuse #broken friendships #referenced human experimentation #dehumanisation #victim blaming #referenced non consensual body modification #self hatred #assisted suicide #murder by proxy #graphic descriptions of death #religious themes #primeboys (derogatory)

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